Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon.
Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.
if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon, spend less, smile more. - And I had to tap on things or else my family would die. I had to do things to myself so my family wouldn't die. - I'm sorry. - No, don't be sorry. - So last night we were at my sister's birthday dinner and we were almost done with dinner and then we just hear like gunshots right below us. It was like bang, bang, bang. And we were like, those were gunshots. - You don't think you can afford a pink Bronco?
I already got it. You already have it? Okay, okay. You went from, I don't know if I can get it, my dad's gonna have to buy it for me, to I already have it within an hour. Sometimes Harper gives me the energy of, catch me outside, how about that? Catch me outside, how about that? You give me the energy of Danielle Bregoli. Danielle Bregoli. Danielle Bregoli. I'm coming with your head. How does that song go?
I don't know. Daniel Bregoli. What a time to be alive. Daniel Bregoli. Now it's time to cook up the Omi. Now you're trying to bring back the Omi. So, Harper, when are you getting this pink bronco? You say my head is shaped like a pineapple, but I can call my barber up real fast. But take your ugly attitude on Dr. Phil. Not a single thing that can fix that. Oh, yeah, that's the baby. Yeah, I'm swinging with your hair with these punchlines. The baby. Yeah, it's the baby. No, no, it's the baby. Oh, yeah, it's the baby. Yeah, yeah. Look, I'll show you my pink bronco. I made a TikTok.
What? That's not your... No, you didn't. Okay, how much do you think that pink Bronco costs? That's a good question. I'm with you, Harper. I don't know how much a Bronco costs. No, Daniel Bugatti. She's a... Bugatti? No, no, no. How much do you think the pink Bronco costs? $200,000. Okay. I'm going to guess a pink... I'm going to guess a Bronco... Wow. All right. $200,000. I'm going to guess a Bronco... If y'all fly with me over this, I will take my serum protector off, crack it, and make sure some glass shards get in your eyes.
That is Danielle Vigoli energy. You're right. That is a crazy thread. I'm going to say, oops, my bad. I hit my mic. I'm going to say a brand new Bronco costs a brand new pink Bronco. $60,000. No, like $45,000. I don't know. Look it up. They're pretty big cars. I'm going to say $40,000. $40,000 actually. I'm locking in $40,000. I'm locking in. Wait, I'm trying to look up Danielle Vigoli. Sorry, $50,000. I'm going a pink Bronco is $80,000. $80,000? I'm going $50,000. $80,000. No. Wait, let me go in Bronco.
Wait, we can't really hear
Ford Bronco Raptor? No, I'm getting the Ford Bronco Sport. Okay, that one's not as expensive. I don't even know if the top comes off as expensive. So where are you going to get the Bronco and then get it wrapped pink? Wait, you told me you wanted a pink Tesla. I don't know what I want anymore. What about a pink Range Rover? It doesn't matter. They're expensive. I want a 37.
Okay, 40k. I was right. That's what she was showing me was the sport. Every time we ask Harper what car she wants for her sweet 16, she goes pink Tesla, pink Mercedes, pink Bronco, pink something. Do you want a pink Range Rover? No, no, it was him. No, no, no, please, no, please. Harper, why are you, stop. That's your screen protector for your phone. Nah, I'd do it. Full stand on that, baby. It looks like people are TikTok. You won't break your screen protector.
Don't break it, don't break it. - Break it, Matt, break it. - No, just look inside of it, look inside. Does it look like I'm a TikTok person? - It kinda does, you look funny. - Wait, let me see, let me see. Is this a privacy one? - Gosh. - You kinda look like you're on TikTok right now. TikTok life. - I wanna-- - Listen. - What? - Hey, sorry.
Well, you tried. That was a good try. But when we were in the car on the way over from school, you were about to show me some card, and you said you were going to show me on a podcast. Matt, can you, like, untilt your hat? I feel like people can't see you. You look like a mysterious figure. I am a mysterious figure. Look, he talks like this. Yep, well, I'm a mysterious figure. You think you're a cowboy. I don't think I'm a cowboy. Because if I was a cowboy, you would know. What? That's bullshit. So...
Moving on from Maverick's terrible country accent. Just like his girlfriend. Wait, wait, wait. That was atrocious. Wait, what were you going to say? Oh, I don't know. I just wanted to move on from the country accent. She wanted to say something in a country accent. What? Did you not hear? She's like, moving on from Maverick's country accent. Oh, you just wanted to sound like a country accent? No. Do your best country accent, Kate. I said, moving on from Maverick's country accent. Okay, do your best country accent. Harper. Harper.
Harper I don't know what country people always break things into two syllables. They're like Jay Lee part that okay, but what was a hard part? I don't know Harper trying to bring it right Harper Harper Harper get back here. It's like they always break it into two syllables Best country accent. What would a country person say right now? I'm gonna go catch my bag gone I would not say that as a country person you wouldn't what the then what would you say? Well
Well, say whatever you would say as a country person. I reckon the dinner will be ready in about five minutes. Y'all better come in. Rinse off. Oh, she's like Little House on the Prairie kind of vibe. That's just freaky. I got it. Here's my country accent. Achoo! This is my country accent. Ready? Ba-ding, ba-ding. Bring it on home, John B. Bring it on home. Bring it on home, John B. Ba-ding, ba-ding. What is the ba-ding? That's the bell his dad used to ring. You don't know what bring it on home, John B. is? Bring it on home, John B.
He goes outside to his porch and he's like, He would ring the bell in his porch. And then he's like, bring it on home. Did you watch Howard Banks? I thought you said my dad. No. John B. Johnny B? John B. Dude, are you even cultured? No. She just got caught lagging so hard. What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? Aww. She just played a song. That's cute. No, because I was trying to act like I was conjuring lips into it.
Well, we can't play the song anyways because he'll take all our revenue. We would do the same to him if he did that to us. Dang, man. Why are y'all acting like we wouldn't do that back? We've been trying to get that kid on our podcast. How come you're on another guy's podcast that's not even top 17 in the world? Yeah, dude, all his comics were... Theo Vaughn's up there. Who the frick is Theo Vaughn, man? Theo Vaughn?
I can't believe she just said that. He's not even top 17 in the country. I think he might be top three. I think he's above us. I think on overall charts, we're like the top. The important part is the world is I'm pretty sure we passed the Ovan on the Spotify podcast charts. Also, if you guys haven't, if you guys haven't subscribed to us on Spotify, please go subscribe to us on Spotify. We can try to chart higher. Um,
It's just the LOL podcast on Spotify. Go subscribe. Wait, I'm going to check. And then when this episode comes out, I'm going to remember. And I'm going to come back and check later and see if y'all actually listen to us. What the? Why do you guys stay so hostile? Follow up with them like a mom. Also, if you guys want to see all our other channels, go to the link. What are you doing?
If you guys want to see all our other channels, go to the description and you can see all of our personal YouTube channels and all that. If you want to go subscribe to all of our channels, I don't know, just saying. You could do it. What happened to that little ticket you had? Yo, bite it, bite it. No, no, no. Bite it. Don't bite it. Guys, I don't mean to break everyone's heart here. You swear? I'll bite it. But do this in because then it don't work. Should I bite it? Do it. Yeah, you should. Yeah, you should. Wait, wait, wait. Are y'all ready to hear the stats? Yes.
What are you talking about? What? Our charting. Where we're charting right now. Oh, where we're charting. Bite it! Here we are. It doesn't matter where we're charting. He's about to bite this. Uh-oh. This is way more important than right now. Well, I guess since I'm a Snapchatter, I have to take snaps of this. Come on, bite it. I feel like I got all the attention on me now. I got like a greasy camera. I'm going to bite this screen protector. Not yet, not yet.
Camera yeah, I gotta get ready. Are you guys ready yet? Oh, we're ready now. I gotta redo my intro. No you know I gotta restart my video. Okay. I'm going to bite this screen protector glass is going to shatter all inside my mouth And then I'm going to swallow it. No, okay. That's crazy. Don't swallow it. Here we go Y'all think glass is gonna get on my tongue? No! I think you're fine. I mean you and I just- Okay, okay. Just bite it, bruh. Okay. I'm gonna do it now. Oh, he's so dumb. What an idiot.
Y'all wouldn't let me do it, right? Do it! Okay, okay, okay. It's fine. It's safe. It's not safe. Here we go. It's totally not safe. I'm gonna bite glass now. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. Okay. It's plastic, bro. Crunch that baby. Come on. Get the canines in there. Nothing's happening. Come on. Oh!
I wish I knew what he was feeling. What an idiot. That was 30 seconds of my life. I will never get back. Ew. That's horrible for your mouth. Oh, that's got to be so bad for your mouth. Some particles got on my tongue, but I think I'm good. Do it again. Do a bigger bite. I'm okay. That thing shattered.
Oh, glasses falling everywhere. That is horrible. I don't like that. Nobody touch us because glasses falling everywhere. Who are you texting? Me? Her. Is it Maddox Maddox? Why is Madbroke so obsessed with people? Today on the Unable Bros podcast, every time Alex picked up his phone, Madbroke was like, Alex, who are you texting? Show us now. See, I have a girlfriend now, so my lifestyle is interesting, so I got to see what other people are doing. Well...
Everyone's having a great time. I will let you guys know that. Oh my gosh. Do you need water? No, don't. Oh, that would just make you swallow the glass. Well, if he's gone, what are you going to talk about? Want to talk about my girlfriend? She's pretty cool. Well, sure. Let's talk about me and how I had a mental breakdown in class. What happened? Why? It was so bad. So as you know, I have pretty bad OCD. OCD? Yes. ADHD. ADHD, OCD, dyslexia.
What are you doing? You freak. You sit down. Okay. What was that? I was going to do something, but not now. Okay, continue, Harper. Let me know when y'all want to see what I was going to do. I do now. Now. No, it's okay. Tell your story. Ew, what's wrong with me? Okay. That was weird. Don't do that. That was horrifying. What's it called?
You were in class today. You were having a mental breakdown in class. I can confirm I did spit out glass just now, by the way. Anyways, go. So, my teacher, Miss... Don't say her name. Don't say her name. Miss Butterfly. Missy Johnson sounds like a teacher's name. Miss Johnson. We're going to call her Miss Butterfly. But yeah, can you call her Miss Butterfly? Miss Butterfly? Yeah. Miss Butterfly. Like Cartman from South Park? Miss Butterfly. Well, Miss Butterfly. Mm-hmm.
Basically miss butterfly or whatever is my first period teacher. Okay? No, I'm sorry my mom I was she kept coughing and I think she was doing it on purpose. I am not sure your mom teacher. Oh
No, no. Let me show you my text. Okay, restart. Forget the text of your mom. Just restart the story. Harper, sometimes you are so scatterbrained when telling stories. All right, so I said, Mom, right now my OCD is really bad with Ms. Butterfly. I'm sorry, honey. Just a few more weeks of school. You can try ERP in her class, which is ERP therapy, which is exposure therapy. What do you get exposed to? Like just my brain tells me things.
that y'all don't know. My brain tells me things. It's really hard. Yeah, you have voices? Yeah. And then she said, maybe we can... Wait, what? Is that not what she was saying? Maybe once my medicine regulates, because I changed medicines, it will work. And I said, I need to get out of this class. She keeps on coughing. And then she said, you can maybe ask the counselor or go see Miss Zebra. Zebra? Her name's Zebra? Stop. It's my SPAD teacher, like my special ed teacher that comes and checks on me every now and then.
And you can see me as a zebra or just take a deep breath and do the opposite of OCD is telling you. I know it's hard, but you can do this. I said, she keeps on coughing and looking at me. I swear she's doing it on purpose. Honey, I promise she's not directing her cough to you. Your OCD is telling you that. She might be concerned for you because you might seem uncomfortable right now. I said, no, she's not. She came over and breathed in my face. She came over to me and was like,
Yeah, see, me personally, I wouldn't do that either. Am I the only one that's not confused by this story in what you're talking about? I know exactly what's going on. She said, Miss Butterfly was breathing down Harper's neck, and Harper was like, that's not cool, Miss Butterfly, I'm a child. So then she was gonna go to Miss Zebra, but you didn't. No, I
No, I did. No, y'all are all confused. Harper was in Miss Butterfly's class and Miss Butterfly was coughing too much, like yacking. Harper, in her head, thought that this teacher was directly coughing at her and it was freaking her out. So then she said sex... No, no, no. Y'all are all confused. We need to back up. We need to back up to the original thing. Y'all don't understand how serious this OCD... That's what I've been trying to say. I tried to interrupt the story and get clarity, but I couldn't get clarity. So now I'm on clarity. I don't understand.
Oh my gosh, no, she doesn't have voices. She has OCD. I never told y'all about it. Well, I'm confused because you... But I have one of the most severe OCD out of like 10% of the world. 10%? I mean, that's like a lot of people. Yeah, but like it's severe. Like it's insane. Like I see things. Like sometimes I think things. Like y'all, I don't think y'all... What do you see? No, like y'all don't understand. Like it's... Like terrifying things with your face. Like today I was crying in school. No, wait. I didn't hear questions. Whoa. She's not joking right now, Cash. Those aren't real questions.
What do you mean?
I have questions. I feel like you're being a little insensitive. What are y'all talking about? I feel like you're just running your mouth right now just to hear yourself talk. I was literally crying in school today. Does it sound good? Your voice? Does it sound soothing to your ears? Okay, I would love to sit here and say, if I said I see things, like y'all all wouldn't jump down my throat. Huh? No. Look at me, guys. Harper's opening up about something, and you're just pretending like it's not important. Y'all don't understand. Like, seriously? What is it? No, don't take away my mic. No, no, no. Don't take away my mic. Take away his mic. Is his mic taken away? Okay, good. No, listen, listen.
No one can hear you. Okay, no one can hear you. Keep it off. No one can hear you. No one can hear you. Your mic's off. Hasn't my mom ever talked to y'all about my OCD? Let Harper open up. Let me ask a question! Oh my gosh, ask your question! My goodness! Maybe you should learn to listen. You're just talking and talking and talking and you're not letting anyone else talk. Stop talking! Ask your question and then stop talking. Oh my gosh. Ask your question. Ask your question.
No, you don't understand. This is serious. I'm okay. I wouldn't ask you questions. Whatever your question is, I keep it to myself. It's gonna pass. Has your mom ever talked to you all about it? Wait, okay, I got a question.
No, I don't understand why you're so mad. She said, I see. Stop, Cash. Yes, Cash. Here's what happened. No, y'all stop. Y'all stop screwing me right now. Everyone's trolling you. Look at Alexis' face. Does he look like he's trolling you? No one's trolling you. Listen, she said, I see things. All I see.
- All I said was-- - And finding out, it's called listening. - Let her elaborate. - All I said was-- - Instead of interrupting, what do you see? - That's exactly the problem is she's mid-sentence and you're interrupting her. And then when she doesn't answer your question-- - No, she started moving on. She said, "And then I went to--" - No, she's coming back to it. - She would come back to it. But you have to let her finish. And then when she doesn't answer your question right away,
You keep talking and you don't stop talking. Y'all, run it back. She was moving on to what her teachers were doing. Is it me? Am I the problem? Am I the drama? She was never going to say the things she sees. No, no, no. Maybe she would have. And maybe when she finished talking, you could go back then and ask her. Well, maybe I wouldn't always have to ask questions if you weren't always ignoring the podcast and you weren't always reading your book.
No, on your phone. Shut him up, Kate. No, I'm not doing that. I was literally listening. I was listening. I was caught up. I just want to hear Harper talk. Okay, if y'all were listening, what does she see? She never said it. That's why I asked the question. I can't. You're yelling and it's so annoying. You guys are being annoying. Let's all just be friends and calm down. Harper wasn't even like, why are you interrupting? She was like, oh, she was going to answer my question on what she sees. And y'all were like, Kat, Kat, be quiet, Kat, be quiet, Kat. Listen, I'll admit, I was just...
griping at you because the group was doing it okay but listen i don't know i see but now i see those eyes on me right now listen obviously there's some conflict resolution that needs to happen between you two but for now y'all gotta just be calm and relax homes and okay and let harper tell her story so we can all be enlightened by her personal life experiences that you don't know about because you keep talking
I don't listen to you a lot more if you talk like that. No, I actually don't think I understand. This has been a major thing. Do one thing for me, though, as you tell your story. Talk slower. It'll help you tell your story. I don't think I understand how much... You just went back to fast. Try to talk slower. Stop interrupting her! I'm just trying to help you. No, stop! Let her talk! You're going to make her leave the podcast.
She's gonna leave, bro. What? That's just what you did to me. I literally was like, wait, Harper. Because you wouldn't stop talking. You did not shut up for five minutes straight. I was asking for clarity. All I heard was your voice for five minutes. I was asking for clarity. Obviously, there's some conflict resolution that needs to happen. So just be calm, Holmes. Hey, Harper. Harper, let's hear your story this time. Try to talk slower. Okay. No, basically, guys, like...
Literally, I don't think y'all understand like because this has been a thing in my life for like a really long time and like I like don't like like It's fourth grade out. So do you guys want me to tell you all the full story if you are comfortable? Don't say anything your parents don't want you to say yeah, I mean it's my mental disability and also Kate might cry well
Yeah, it's my... Great girl. And, like, let me show you all, like, my parents, like, they want me to open up because I feel like people can relate. Oh, they do? Yeah. I mean, like, they're, like, when you feel like you're ready, you can. Yeah. But let me show you. This is all about my OCD. Oh, let me read that. No, you can't. It's so bad. It's too bad. And then there's just a lot of different things. And, like...
So I'll start off from the beginning. In fourth grade, I realized that something was wrong with me. I was like, okay, what's going on? Like, I don't know why I think these things. And my friend told me a story. I'm not really going to say the story because it's a little bad.
Why are you laughing? Because he wants to interrupt and say, what things are you thinking? Yes, I really wanted to say what things, but I'm not going to ask. That's not important to the story. But Maverick had to interrupt. So, Harper, now that Maverick has interrupted, please stop. No, she had to ask why you were laughing at her story. That's very sensitive and personal to her. Shut up. Dude, nobody can see you. Take your hood off. Everybody can see me. You're turning sideways where no one can see you. Take your hood off. Well, why are y'all sitting over there then? Why don't we move my camera over there? Okay. There's things we can do here. All right. Continue. So, basically, in fourth grade, my friend...
put a story in my mind. I can't really say it. And I thought things that I shouldn't be thinking of in fourth grade. And it just started from there. And we didn't know what was going on. Like I, I never really knew what was going on with me. My mom didn't know. My mom just saw a change in me. And cause I used to be like, I still am, but like, I know how to cope with it now. I used to be like a fun girl and like, I used to not really care. And I used to have a really great relationship with my family. And I'm really trying to build that back.
and stuff, and, like, it's hard, it's just, like, me, like, it, it, I can't really say it, because, like, my mom would probably, like, not really like her, me to talk about my relationship with her or my dad, but, um, yeah, basically, um, we, we, I went to counseling from fifth to sixth grade, and the counselor wasn't working, she didn't, um, she didn't really, um,
in OCD. So we went to another therapist and that therapist didn't work because more things were coming in my mind that I didn't want to come in my mind and I had to tap on things or else my family would die. I had to do things to myself and make sure so my family wouldn't die. I had to do so many different things to make sure that I wouldn't hurt anybody or
I just felt like there was a system going on in heaven, and I felt like God was putting points in my head. Like, okay, if I hurt myself this way, then God will help me and put a point in my mind so then I don't have to hurt myself tomorrow, or I won't have to do blah, blah, blah to make him... I don't know. It was just super confusing. So that happened in fifth grade. I was in a really bad mental spot, and then...
I started to go on OCD medication and ADHD medication at the same time. And when I was on the ADHD medication, it conflicted with the OCD medication because those two chemicals don't mix together well. So it put worse thoughts in my mind, which made me a little like crazy. Like I started getting really bad mentally and I started to like, what's it called?
I started to do things... Like, if you know... Yeah, I don't think I'm allowed to say on a kid's podcast, but I started to do things to myself that you shouldn't be doing to yourself. We can just leave it there. Yeah. And then in seventh grade...
It came back, and I went off my ADHD medication. My mom finally found out I have OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder. I mainly am in the obsessive part where I think about something, it turns into something. I ask my friends about it. They make me feel something. It's really confusing. And then in seventh grade, it got really bad. Did the same thing over and over again. I kind of relapsed on my mind again and kept on thinking about different things. And then...
I did things to myself that I shouldn't be doing. And then my mom was like, okay, this is getting out of hand. So we went to a different therapist and I'm at the same therapist now. And nothing's really helped, but like I'm better now.
so it's been like just a long yeah but and you're saying it hasn't helped but you're also saying you're better so I've switched between between different medications but what I'm trying to get at is like OCD puts things in my mind that I don't want to be in my mind and I mean I'll tell y'all after the podcast I just can't say it on the podcast and like I don't know it's just like it's it's just like like people probably think OCD is like oh yeah you have to clean up your room all this stuff no it's it's like it's not that at all it's like
Like, like literally I have to like, if somebody flicks at me or does something, then I have to take it off my chest three times. And then one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, and then flick it off. And because I felt like bad air is coming in. And then if I don't do something else, then I feel like I'm going to get poisoned or something else is going to happen to me. And I don't know, like, and like some, it just, it's just all that. So then when Miss Butterfly was breathing down my shirt,
yeah or coughing at me I thought bad air was getting into my system and I couldn't do it anymore and like it was it got to the point where I was like oh my gosh like I was like shaking so I had to go out of the classroom and my mom had to text my um miss zebra and um yeah and talk to her about it yeah and to get me out of class and stuff but like a lot of people don't know that about me so like yeah yeah you kind of talked to me about it like one time
but yeah well i'm sorry to hear that thanks thanks thanks um yeah yeah and i hate that like it affects you like just daily like in school yeah like you like have to leave class because of something like that yeah it's fine though like that's not necessarily like i know you mentioned like um feeling like it's like affecting like trying to earn a way into heaven and that's not like you are god's daughter and you're his creation and he values and loves you and there's not like a
anything that you have to do to earn your way in. He loves you for who you are, just like your dad loves you for who you are. Yeah. So there's no... Stop, Harper. Are you okay? I can't cry on the podcast. Yes, you can. It's so embarrassing, I can't. You're going to make Cash cry. I've cried plenty of times on the podcast. Aww. I love you so much. This feels like the wrong moment to be wearing a toilet seat. I love you, honey.
I'm sorry. No, don't be sorry. It's not embarrassing. You don't need to be embarrassed. We can cut it out if you want to cut it out. Yeah, we don't have to put any of this out if you don't want to. If you want to cut this out, we will cut it out. Oh, no. We make jokes and stuff, but I don't want you to think that we have to put this in there for the views. No, Ashley, I don't care. People will relate. Yeah, it's up to you. If you want to share it. That's so embarrassing. I never got on the podcast. That's so embarrassing. No, it's not.
Hey, I've cried plenty of times on the podcast and off the podcast. In front of lots of people. I mean, just know that if you change your mind, pray about it, if you don't want this episode going out, then it doesn't have to go out. No, it does. Because then people will relate to it and stuff. Also, it's your story to share whenever you're ready and if you decide that you don't want to share it yet, we don't have to.
to put this out at all. Don't think that we're going to be mad because you know we film lots of episodes stacked up. Guys, this is so embarrassing. I can't. Goodbye to one of your lashes. I think it's in your hand. I don't know. One of your clusters just fell out. What one? Oh, no, no, no. It's fine. They look good. There was just one that fell out, but it's fine. Okay, okay. Yeah.
Like, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. It's called the LOL, yes. Oh, God, that's so embarrassing. No, it doesn't have to be always LOL. Guys, that's so embarrassing. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I mean, I think things like that are good for our podcast, though, because, like, 95% of it is this. Yeah.
And just so y'all know, we all have real life issues and things that we deal with on the daily. And our lives look like that sometimes, too. So it's not always LOL. But even off the episode, Harper. It's so embarrassing, guys. I'm so sorry. No, don't be embarrassed. It's not. Harper, you know, we're literally, especially me and you, we're women. We are built to have emotions like that. Like, we're going to be more emotional than a man. Like, we probably won't ever see them cry on a podcast. I've seen Mav.
Unless something super serious happens. But like, yeah, I mean, we just feel everything differently. And that's like why we cry the way we do. Like it's normal. Yeah. And no one's no one's judging you or thinks it's. No, you're loved. You're valued. You're known. It's so bad, though. Like people are going to think I'm depressed. No, no.
Like we said, if you change your mind and you don't want this to go out, we won't put it out. No, I want people to relate. Yeah. You know? Yeah, I mean, it's good. It's good for people to know that, like, it's not always sunshine and rainbows for us. Hey, you're touching your mic with your toilet seat, my friend.
But, no, you're okay. You're good. So bad, bro. No, but when Mav started talking about it was so bad. I was like, keep it in. It was so bad. Well. Mav was lucky trying to make you cry. No, I was not. Oh, my gosh. I was not. I was just telling her that, like, she's known, she's loved, you're not, like. Yeah. And God loves you, too. I mean, 1 Philippians 4, 6 through 7. Do not be anxious about anything, but let your requests be made known to God, and with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving.
May the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guard your heart in Christ Jesus. And he loves you. He loves you. And you can give those anxious thoughts unto him. And he's just, just give those to God. Don't try not to dwell on those. Harper, the last few weeks I have been like, and both of the boys have been telling me, they're like, this is bad, Kate. But it's gotten to where like, I'm so scared to like,
I'm scared like out in public all I think about is how I'm gonna die yeah like and I constantly just think of like the worst situations like if cash leaves and he's in a car I'm like oh my gosh he like he's gonna get in a car accident and die and it's like I told you I'm not gonna die like that like that cash doesn't think he's gonna go out like that but yeah just same my mom made me put on my uh list okay yeah
Do you want tissues? No, I'm good. Are you sure? Yes, yes, yes. I wasn't crying that hard. I swear. Yeah. But no, I mean like... If you want to take a second and you'll step out, you can. It's good. Thank you though. Yeah, but no, like I mean, like myself, I constantly like I'm going to die. Just yesterday, we were in a situation and it like literally set me off and like the rest of the night, I was just thinking about how that's how we're going to die. Yeah. In that way. And it's like in my head like... And a couple months ago, it was really bad and like
Can we talk about the situation at all? You want to talk about it right now? What happened? Last night? You can talk about it. Just keep it kind of big. I talked about it on my Snapchat story, but pretty much we were at my sister's birthday dinner. Yeah, I saw the videos, but I just get through them because I was in school. Just talk about it, please. Well, we were... It's up to you. What do y'all think? It's so embarrassing for me to just be the one who's crying.
Kate's I can make Kate cry if you want okay I bet Mav can make Kate cry in probably 60 seconds or less over or under that would be the bet I'm not saying to do it I'm pretty good at it and I'm not I'm not saying to do it I'm just saying Mav is very talented at making Kate cry yeah it's a gift it's a gift making women cry honestly what they don't look at Mav and they cry I don't know why but it's not true yeah I have the opposite effect
I look at women and they get mad. They cringe. They run away. They get so mad. Oh, you make a lot of women mad. Everyone gets mad. Dude, in sad situations. But usually you say things like, yeah, I understand you're a female athlete, but I'm better than you at every sport. No. Like you'll say something crazy like that. No, I'm talking in sad situations. You have a toilet seat on your head? I'm sorry. That just feels inappropriate now. In sad situations, the only thing that comes to my head
And I mean so for real the only thing that comes to my head is comedy. Yeah. Yeah, we know hey, that's how you cope I don't know if it's coping. It's more suppression, but yeah suppression what i'm not suppressing none I think you do suppress things what i'm not a woman. You can't just make me open up and cry But i'm not I don't suppress nothing. No, I mean, well you do what the you suppress things with comedy, but it's fine What do you mean? I suppress things with comedy. I mean, we all know that's been your coping mechanism since you were a child ask mom and dad No, no
- Now he's just gaslighted. This is what gaslighting feels like. - I don't want to sit here and talk about that, 'cause Harper did just be very vulnerable for a moment, and I feel like we're just kinda like pushing it to the side. - No, but please, please tell me the story last night. Just be vague about it. - What do y'all think? What do you think? - I have chosen. This'll be good.
Listen, I'm literally just not gonna I I'm not gonna talk for the rest of the episode because the only thing that people are gonna say to me are mean things No, and people are just gonna be mad at me. So I'm just I'm just not I'm genuinely not gonna talk I'm genuinely asking should I talk about what happened last night now or should I wait a little bit? You don't understand babe when you ask me those jokes are coming to my mind right now that I can't say or else everyone else gonna be mad Okay, so what are you guys talking about? I was trying to figure out if we had enough time to jump into that story because there's a long time
But just just just spit it out. Okay, well, yeah, but I Feel like I feel like we just kind of like like yeah You were very vulnerable and opened up about something and we're just kind of like ignoring it. I mean, we just I mean we like are you okay? Yeah, I
yeah no this is just like a normal day thing yeah yeah yeah i know like i'm not like it's just like oh like that like i was just trying to like say what ocd is and like i'm like i'm not really an emotional person but like when it comes to that stuff i'm i just am i don't know why well it's had such a big impact on your life yeah like that's such a big part of your life that like
Yeah, it like circles around and stuff. It's like OCD is the sun or the moon. I don't know what one circles around. Or the world. The earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like OCD is the earth and I revolve around it. It's so annoying. It's fine. It's fine. Like literally, like a lot of people watching this probably suffer with OCD too, but they just don't know how to speak about it and stuff. So it's like, yeah. So what are things you do to help with that?
To the kids like that. I mean, like, I just don't really know yet. Like, I don't really know. Still figuring it out. Like, just expose it, I guess. Like, maybe you'll get poisoned. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll die. Maybe you won't. You just have to have uncertainty in your life like you do. And, like, you, yeah, you just have to always live with uncertainty because sometimes it'll turn out good. Sometimes it'll turn out bad. It's just God's plan, I guess, you know? So, yeah.
Yeah, I will say, like, for me, like, because, I mean, I have not been diagnosed with anything. I've never been tested with anything. I just know from, like, my personal experience, like, for, like, a couple months ago, it was, like, really bad. Like, I was constantly, like, when Cash would leave, I would, like, start, like, internally freaking out. Like, I've, like, I've never been, like, a super anxious person, but, like, I was, like, full of anxiety. And I would, like, gosh, I am going to cry. I don't want to cry. Okay, it's okay. So...
It's fine. Tell me about it. We can both cry on the podcast. Well, I want to know what happened. Okay. This is so bad. I've never been able to like... Okay. So I would pretty much just like constantly worry that like he was going to die. I hate it. I don't like it. Like, and I always told him, I was like, I'm so scared.
Like I don't want anything to happen to either of us like and I was just in my head about it like so in my head about it because I didn't laugh so she laughed and then you laughed. Buttholes. What? You look like one right now. Yeah you got a toilet seat on your head. Listen. Anyways so. Okay I'm so sorry you're talking to me about this.
no i'm like the worst person to say this to no okay so i've made fun of you about this for like a year yeah i know but i'm sorry no it's fine so i was constantly just like scared i was scared when i was by myself like if i was gone i was like i have to get back home like just to be okay like i need to be home now because like it's it's i'm not dependent on cash like i can function by myself but
It was almost like I was so like I can like go out and do things by myself. But I felt like if I wasn't with him, like something so bad was going to happen and that we just constantly needed to be together. Yeah. And so I was like talking about it. And and then finally, a couple months ago, I was like, I'm so tired of feeling like this. Like I prayed about it and stuff.
And there was like something else going on. And I was like, it was like two separate things that were like happening in my life. And I finally was like, okay, I'm tired of feeling like this. And one morning I woke up and it was like 6am and I just couldn't go back to sleep. So I literally just like went to my living room and
I just started like writing in my prayer journal and like I write in my prayer journal a lot but like I wrote like pages and pages and pages like the most I've ever written and I was like I can't do it anymore like I can't feel like this I wake up just like hoping that we're gonna get through the day and like I go to bed like hoping that we both wake up in the morning and like just this constant fear in my life that one of us is gonna die I don't want us to die right now I don't want to die I know no
And so this was, like, probably two months ago this morning. I just, like, wrote, like, a bunch in my journal, and I was literally just, like, begging God. I was, like, please, like, I can't do it anymore. Like, I've been praying about it. And, like, right in that moment, it was, like, I've, like, experienced, like, like, I felt God move in my life so many times, but, like, in this moment, it was, like,
I'm like shaking because I'm just so full of anxiety and like literally out of nowhere it just like washes out of me and I'm like so still and I'm like so full of peace and I was like I have not felt this peaceful in months and like I'm just like crying out to the Lord like please like make it stop like I hate this and he so quickly was just like okay and he like did it and I was like like and right after that like for like it's been months since that since that
And I've like haven't worried like I'm out and I'm like I'll get home when I get home cuz like we're both fine and I think another part of it is just that I'm so worried that one of us is gonna die and like I think about how that would just end up with one of us having to live without the other for years and years and years but then I think about eternity and like Cassius always told me he's like I
When we die, like, we're just, like, we can't think of it as dying. Like, we're relocating. And, like, eventually the other one's going to relocate, too. And we're going to, like, it's going to be way better. Is it the same place is the question.
Yes. Yeah. See, that's. Yeah, ideally. Lighthearted joke. Yeah. But so I don't know. It's just like I feel like the Lord has brought me a lot of peace just with that. But recently, the last few weeks, it's kind of gotten bad again. And I think it was because I got so comfortable, like just living like that, that I wasn't I wasn't really praying about it to God. I wasn't like saying like like I wasn't asking him to like help me not feel like that because I wasn't feeling like that.
And then, like, the last couple weeks, it's kind of been, like, on my mind a little bit more, but, like, not as bad. But then last night, we were at dinner, and, um, can I, like, talk about it? Oh, wait, about dinner? Yeah. Uh, don't talk about it right now. Why? Just something happened. Okay. Wait, wait, why can't we talk about it? Because we have, yeah, we have another episode, like, that's not true. Okay. No, this is our last episode for today.
We're not going to talk about it next time. You sure? Yeah, we're not going to talk about it again. We can go long if we need to. Okay. Well, last night we were at dinner, and it was my sister's birthday dinner. Alexis is crying. Alexis is crying. Wait, pause. Our cameraman is crying. Oh, dude, I know Bob's crying right now. Not to put him on blast, but our cameraman is crying. I didn't realize it was that bad. I thought I was just filming. I hear it now.
Yeah. Well, so last night, like I said, the last couple of weeks has kind of been on my mind more like, and the boys have like been telling me, I'm like, guys, like, I'm so scared. Like just something bad is going to happen. And like, it's not just like dying. It's like, I'm scared someone's like stalking me or I'm scared I'm going to get sex trafficked or just like, I'm terrified that something bad is going to happen to me. And so last couple of weeks, it's been more like that kind of stuff. And the boys have both been like, you have to stop. Like, like this is not healthy for you to just constantly live like that. But yeah,
I don't think you knew how, like, serious it was for me, and that's why you kind of always made jokes about it. But I've never held that against you. Like, I've never talked to you about it. It wasn't even jokes. I was just like, are we serious right now? Yeah. Yeah. No, I've never held that against you. I was probably a little insensitive. Well, I've never talked to you about it. I can't just expect you to know. But so last night we were at my sister's birthday dinner, and we were out on a patio. Like, it was like a balcony slash patio setting. And we were just like, the dinner was fine. Yeah.
and we were at the table closest to the railing, my family. So, like, me, my mom, my sister, my brother, our backs were, like, to the street behind us, and we were almost done with dinner, and then we just hear, like, gunshots right below us. And it was, like, bang, bang, bang, and then we were, like, it stopped for a second, and we were, like...
those were gunshots. And then a second later, it was like bang, bang, bang, like literally like eight more gunshots went off. And it was like right below us. It was like below us across the street. And so everyone on the balcony like jumps up and they run inside. And we all were like, you know, the restaurant locks the door and they brought down the blinds on the patio and stuff. And
everyone ended up being okay i literally think it was just like a drive-by shooting like two people like got mad or at something but like automatically when you like think about like gunshots and stuff you just think about like mass shootings and like all the terrible things that have happened and like people that just go out to hurt people like that and so then i was thinking like like we were the ones right on the right on the edge like if they wanted to they can easily just like
like pointed their gun up and like, you know, shot us. Like we were like the closest ones. It was like us and another table and no one's even sat at the other table. So then I was just thinking about that. And I was like, well, now that's how like, I like, I'm scared. I already, when I like go out in public to like grocery stores or malls and stuff, like I already like subconsciously have that in the back of my mind that like something like that's going to happen. But, and then Cash was talking to me about it and he was like,
just if we were ever in that situation and like I was protected like I would try to help the people around us and I was like I don't want that though and it's so selfish of me and I hate that I think like that but like I don't want to think about him going towards somebody with a gun you know like it terrifies me first of all I'm not that stupid okay I'm not just gonna go walk down a guy with a gun no but it's like like yeah no but I don't know I just so then I was just thinking about that all night and just like
All the ways you can die. And so, I don't know. Lately, I've been feeling more like that. But I also know that, like...
I haven't really acknowledged that I've been feeling kind of like that more often than I had been. So I think I really do just need to talk to God about it because I know that if I come to him, he's going to take it away. He always does. It's just, yeah. Yeah, you don't want to let fear control your life. Yeah, and it has been. For literally months it was. It was like I couldn't function. I was like, I leave the house and I'm like, I have to get back as soon as possible. It was bad. So when you talk about just...
You being in your head like that, like, I understand it in a different way. And, like, I'm sure there are people watching that understand it. But it's just, it's a weird feeling. And it's something that I'd never really felt before. Like, up until this last year, I don't think I'd really ever felt like this before. It was super random. But, yeah. Yeah. Well.
I appreciate you guys sharing. I know that you guys are both... Yo, what? Well, no, I'm just saying, like, they're both... I know that was, like, difficult to be vulnerable. I'm just saying they're both vulnerable. I appreciate you guys sharing. Yeah. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for oversharing. No, I'm kidding. Yeah, I mean, you guys are both Christians. You're both a... 2 Corinthians 5, 17, a new creation in Christ Jesus. And you guys are loved and known. And when you're talking about being scared of death and fear, it is scary to think about, like,
like going, like, like leaving this earth or somebody else leaving this earth. And it's part of us living in a fallen world from Genesis three, that we're living in a fallen world that has death and it's sad and it's, and it's difficult. But the joy we get to know is that when we do go to heaven, that there is, there is an immense joy that we can't even describe or explain. One guy explained it to me. Like there's,
in this world like try explaining to a five-year-old that there's something better than chocolate yeah they can't grasp that there's anything better than chocolate they're like an intimate relationship with a spouse uh anything in life like they don't understand that there's some that there's something better than chocolate they can't comprehend it in their brain and that's us with heaven is such a joy i don't know you can't fit it it's like trying to fit the ocean into a five-gallon bucket
Yeah. You can't fit that much joy into your brain. You can't understand it. I just can't imagine living without OC. Like, it's just, like, constantly, always in my mind. Like, I don't know how free I'll feel once I get to heaven. You'll feel super free. I mean, you'll have a new resurrected body without any scars. Yeah. Like, I mean, when we get there, like, things like this aren't going to be a part of us. Like, it's only, we only live with these things because we are in a fallen world. And, like, when we get to heaven, it's not going to be a fallen world. It's going to be perfect.
So that's why we live like this because like we live in a world full of sin, death, just darkness. Like that's why we have these things. But there will be no OCD desires. Yeah. It'll be a beautiful world. Yeah. That's kind of what...
I feel like that kind of gets when I think about death, like I literally just think about dying and I don't think about what comes after. And I think that's why it freaks me out so much is because like, I don't think deeper than that. It's like, oh, one of us is going to be gone. But I don't think about how it's only going to be for 60 years and stuff like that. And that's kind of like what.
I don't know. When I was getting better, it was like, like when things had like gotten better and I wasn't thinking like that, it was like when I thought about death, it was like exciting almost. It was like, I get to go be with like the creator and stuff like that. But I don't know. Lately it hasn't felt like that. So that's why it's been worse. But as,
You guys are also here on earth. Like, I mean, you're here for a purpose and maybe that purpose is to one day help little girls that also have that. You know what I mean? So like there is light at the end of the tunnel for everybody. And you can find that by trusting in Jesus as well. Yeah. And giving that to him. Yeah. Before. Yeah. Yeah.
So, is there anything you'd like to add? Me? Quietest you've ever been. I told you I'm going to be quiet. Okay. Yeah. I would rather not the comments be all like, how could Cash say a joke in an inappropriate moment? Well, I mean, you do need to know to read the room, and I'm glad that you've been reading the room. I can't wait to see the clips on this, or like... Oh, Michael, if you do me dirty, I will be so mad. I think that's the episode...
Yeah. We'll see you guys next time, and maybe next time it'll be a little bit more LOL. Yeah. Sorry. Bye.