Our House Was Robbed!
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My house got broken into one time. They tried to steal my uncle's identity. What? What? The cops walk up to her and they're like, hey, we found this man in your house and he's saying that he's David and he like has all the information on David. He had taken a shower, like made himself breakfast. Is this guy psycho? He was really playing the role of David. I think we all could use some constructive

criticism on the pod and i think that that is mab so mab you can now go around and share what mine is i'm gonna get in so much trouble for saying this the problem is you look at things from a perspective of like you're better than everyone else but like oh things just got good i'm here for the drama yeah

Okay, is no one going to talk about it? Hi. No one's going to talk about it. Fine. We'll talk. Yes, it is true. I ate 176 grams of protein just in my breakfast. Oh, my God. I know. You're kind of like blending in with the strawberry with the red shirt. Yeah, you are. Your hair? Yes, my hair. How you cut it? I got a haircut. Congratulations. You look so good. No hat. That?

Editor will be happy now. Well, I mean honestly that is an accomplishment. Is that actually what you're talking about? Yes. Wait, wait, my friend's calling me. Let's see if she passed her driving test. Oh, boy. Good luck, Morgan. Hey, Brooke, we're on the podcast. Did you pass it? That would have been so embarrassing if she didn't. All right, bye. I have to go. I'm on the pod. Okay, I'm taking you to school tomorrow, though. Bye. Do not get in that car. The fact that 16-year-old

Girls can get their license and we're not all dead. It's crazy, man. The fact that little boys who drink can get their license. What? Who's giving you the license? Who's giving these licenses? Little menaces that go to my school. Little menaces. You know, Mav and Cash were driving when they were 14 on motorcycles. Do y'all know that one meme? It's like the go, go, go.

Do you be the person who's like asking me about Minnesota and be like, why don't you like Minnesota? Are you sure you know what you're talking about?

Yeah, I've seen the meme, but I don't want to ask you about Minnesota right now. I know, but I can do it really well. I don't think you can. Tell me what to ask. So first I'm going to say, I don't really care. I'll be like, why don't you care about... Is this another Beetlejuice thing? No. Why don't you care about Minnesota? No, I don't care about your question. And then just keep being like, but Minnesota, and I'll be like, go. Oh, okay, okay.

Why don't you why don't you like Minnesota? No, I don't care about your question. But what about Minnesota? I don't go. What about Minnesota? Why don't you like Minnesota? Go away. What about Minnesota? And he's so nice. I stand up. What is that a meme from? Y'all have to watch it. Yeah, I guess so because I don't get it. Do you guys did you guys I started drinking Olipop if you want to sponsor us, but since you're not a sponsor for now. Um,

Did you guys, I was in so deep on the Olipop versus Poppy drama. What do you like better, Poppy or? No, Poppy is like the other drink brand. You guys, I'm going to be 250 pounds. Are you still thinking about your protein gains? Yes. We moved all the way on to Beast Games. I want to gain 80 pounds. Beast Games? Can we talk about Beast Games?

Yeah, have you finished it? Did you honestly should just give away the winner right now? No, no don't give away the winner If there's mozzarella sticks in there you better give me one

Your buns are falling fix your mic bud don't need that fix my bad you're crooked always crooked Do you try to try this? No you can't eat the string test. Oh, yeah, wait Kate we gotta see the string test hold on okay, what if it's not good? Let's see you have to go slowly look surely

Wait, what are you doing? Sideways, sideways, sideways, bud. Wow, the camera saw everything. That was not even a screen.

Dude, I mean, I could take that mozzarella stick and just shove it up your ear. Here? And make the grease slide out. Sideways. But there was also, you did it very poorly. Well, Sonic isn't really known for their, like, stringy cheese. Well, I had mozzarella sticks today, and they's pretty stringy. Oh, really? Were they super hot? Whoa! That was for sure my mozzarella stick. Whoa! Well, that's a good pool. Sideways. No, you have to go longer. Don't clap. Like this. Look. You do it like this, right? Whoa!

You do it like this, okay? Don't laugh. What? No, you do it like this. Slowly, slowly.

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- Oh my God. - Hand it to Harper, see how long y'all can go. - Slowly, slowly but surely. - Very slow. - Slowly but surely. - That's a crazy stretch. - Keep going.

I feel like we can play limbo with that. I'm ganging on you. Ew. I'm ganging on you. I'm going to pull you apart. You gotta be quicker than that, buddy. I told you, man. You were doing it wrong. Clearly.

This is going around the world! What the? He has a necklace of cheese! He thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. Ew. I mean, that was crazy. Oh man, my cheese is gone. No, it's in your hand. Oh. There it is. Give me a cheese stick. You're smacking. Stop. Ew! Ew!

- Gross! - It looks like bad. - Stop smacking. - Give me a cheese stick. - I don't have any left. - Got a whole bag. - That cannot be good for your body. - Yeah, that ain't good for you. - That's so bad. - I asked for one before you opened the bag and you gave it to your brother. - Your greedy brother. - I think I'm gonna get one. - No, 'cause you're gonna cry about it later. - I'll get it for you, Kenzie. - No, no, no!

I don't trust you. He closed it faster than I could ever like see him close anything. Ready? Really? Don't know. I wasn't gonna intercept it. Why were you worried? I'm very good at catching Mataral sticks. Is he making mouth noises? Wait. I told Cash to stop. Everybody stop. You guys hear that? No. This is going to take a very talented person to hear this. No one?

I hear it. I must be different. I hear it. You're talking about the... What is it? No. Okay, I'm built different. What is it? What are you talking about? There's a sound.

What sound? Nobody knows. Shut up. And the sound goes ow, ow, ow. Oh my gosh. Y'all want to know a funny story? Cut the clip. No one knows. What's it called? Wait, do you know that song? I pulled my friend's pants off. What? What did she say? No, no, no. And then I got it. Never mind. I think we were told not to talk about that. Yeah.

Maybe in the future she'll be. Am I crazy or can you talk into your mic? Am I crazy or could I possibly go get a water? You're crazy. Oh, look, here's one. What the? No, no, no, no, no. Please, please.

I don't want people touching my water. Do you want to see my protein drinks? Sure. I can go get one for you. I love your protein intake. I really do. It's fascinating. Show me your protein drinks. He just started this like two days ago. That's why it's at a protein high. My protein intake is higher than any gym goer ever, unless they're on roids. And while you're at it, give me a drink. Okay. You know what? You can get your own water now. You can't walk in our garage right now. There's too much trash. Do I get paid for it, though? Yeah.

That was a crazy inside joke you guys want to understand You might know this episode. You're not part of the podcast anyway. Did you get those from Sheen? Yes How did you know? Hey look Kinsey's wearing Adidas. That's not Adidas. I'm not wearing Adidas. Oh wait that's not Adidas. I tried to buy an Adidas. Oh I'm sorry these are the ugliest pants I own but I didn't. What? No I think they're cute. I feel like they're too dark. But are you sure you don't mind if I go get a water?

Why do you ask? Because I don't want to be just rude and barge into your fridge and be like... Yeah, but I'm... Well, low-key, it's an obstacle to get to the fridge right now because there's so much trash in our garage. Yeah, so you can go get a water. Yeah, go get a water. Just don't die. Come back. Okay. Watch out for the mannequin in there. It's kind of scary. Yeah, it moves around when you close your eyes. Don't blink. Okay. BRB.

BRB. Anyways, I tried to buy a shirt yesterday because I had a Dick's Sporting Goods gift card. And I went to the store to find out what I wanted to purchase for my Christmas gift that Kate's uncle got me for Christmas. And I go there and I'm like, I think this is the one, Kate. And I go out of the dressing room and she's like,

I was like, what? Wait, that shirt? No. No, not this one. He didn't get the shirt. I settled for this one. Kate's uncle? What happened? My uncle sends us all gift cards on Christmas. And then, wait, you haven't heard the story. Yeah. I walk out, and she's like, no, you're not wearing Adidas. It's not. What? It wasn't the fact that it was Adidas. What? What are you laughing at? No, seriously, man. My burger was messed up. My burger was messed up, right? Dude!

How many times do I gotta freaking tell you? No. - Don't hit the TV. Don't hit the TV. - I'm not going to. - We're in the middle of a podcast. I'm not offering you food. - Yes. This man throws away his food all the time and won't offer it to anyone. Instead he lets it rot on the floor. - If you'd like it. - Yeah, give it to me. Sonic's not good after a long time. - That should be a red flag. That you have to eat it within the first 30 minutes of it being made. - Dude, you can't even catch. Like you're so bad at catching. Now there's a burger everywhere.

- Don't eat that. - Don't put it back in. - Don't eat that. - Is it really on the floor? - It's salvageable. - No, it's not. - It is salvageable. - What's wrong with it? - Must eat for protein. - Oh, it has like pickles and mustard on it? - Can I defend myself on the story Cash was telling before he raged over a burger? - Oh yes, please do.

Crazy to throw an open burger at me. I threw it in the freaking thing. Yeah, well it came out of the thing so I'm gonna throw it back in the hangar. Stop it! Are you kidding me? On my new shirt? Really? On my brand new shirt? And my brand new shorts? We're gonna need more napkins in this. Oh! I hate the smell of mustard too. Dude. I hate it too. It's all over the place. Really? Really? What?

There's mustard everywhere. I'm literally about to gag you. Harper was gone for two minutes and you ruined the set. There you go. You just ruined her shirt. Should we take an intermission? I feel disgusted. No! These are my brand new jeans and you got mustard on them? Alright, well my new clothes have mustard all over them so I'll be back. BRB. I mean, I'm not like...

See... I'm not hiding anything. Why is this a thing? Guys, I don't understand what just happened, and I'm really upset about it. And also, America, your food is highly suspicious. That is not real. That's not edible. Robert Kennedy Jr., please save us. That's disgusting. You're killing yourselves, America. Don't step on the mustard. No, mustard's killing you. I'm not hiding anything, okay?

You're not hiding. Stop looking at me. I'm different than the other girls. She just got a water, nothing else. Yeah, nothing else. I'm not disrespectful like that. Is it actually an lollipop? No. I wouldn't do that to y'all. No, I wouldn't take y'all's lollipops. I took y'all's puppies. I don't know what it's called, actually. Oh, the culture pops? Yeah. Yeah, you can have one. I don't care. I know. I just don't want you to hate me. Matt, please.

Can a man not eat in peace? Are you sure? I'm on the pod. Do you see our cameraman rolling his eyes because it's annoying when people eat? I just don't want you to be mad. No, you eat it. Drink it. Those are in there for people to drink. I tried them and I didn't really care for them. Bottoms up.

What are they called? It's like an Olipop, but just a different brand. It's called Culture Pop. I like the front of it. All the words. Maverick's the type of guy to say bottoms up. Yeah, that's what I said literally two seconds ago. You know me so well. I can't believe we just threw a burger everywhere. That has yellow stuff in it. What was that? Who eats that kind of burger?

If you eat burgers with yellow stuff in them, you're just, there's something wrong with you. Yeah. Is this? Oh yeah. What is this? Kombucha? It's a, it's just like a prebiotic soda.

Oh, that's where you went wrong. What? Prebiotic and soda should not be in the same sentence. It's like clean. It tastes great. Does it? Yeah, it tastes really good. Don't stop. No, I know. Yeah. Enjoy that. Wait, just chug the whole thing. Should I not burp? She might throw up. No, I won't. No, try. Try. Can you do it without burping? Yeah, I'm going to try. Okay. Let me get my burps up. Go. Go.

- I have conversation while I do it. - Oh, okay, okay, okay. - There was a video on TikTok of this kid doing it with Sprite and he went crazy. Maybe we should get you a Sprite. - Have you guys ever played Would You Rather? - Would You Rather? - Would you guys like to play? - Sure. - I have a really good one. - Would you guys like to play? Why did you say it like a child? - I've been thinking about this one all day. I've asked everyone. Why are you taking your hand out? Alex already knows it's such a good one. - What is it? - Okay. Would you rather have a billion dollars, okay?

Okay, hurry up. Cash is screaming from the depths of the house. Would you rather have a billion dollars or Stop smacking! My goodness! That's insane! You sound more insane! You're screaming like you just

Would you rather have mustard on the front side of your body or the back side? Keep going, Harper! Keep going! You're chugging! Because it's everywhere. I can't! You got it. You can do it without burping. Okay, continue your would you rather. Is that strawberry flavor? It tastes so bad. Do you have any sprites? We have water that you brought up. We do have sprite, actually. I think we should. Matt, play would you rather. I'll go second. Hey, by the way, I'm doing a chugging challenge. Okay. Yeah, you're really killing it.

Would you rather? If you absolutely had to. Okay. No. No. I thought you noticed that already. I didn't. It's Cash's fault. I'm sorry about that one. That's pretty fucked up. I can get it out for you after this episode. It's magic with that kind of thing. I'll get it out for you after. I'll just keep chugging. I'd honestly pour that on there to help. Oh my gosh. When we went to New York Fashion Week, Harper. Wait, no. I don't know about that one. Don't do that. Maybe just Sprite. I totally misled you. Wait. Wait. I have a story.

about cleaning clothes. No, that's not a question. No, please, please, let me tell my story first. It's so,

- Which is so relevant, so relevant please. - We cannot let you finish. - Okay, we went to New York Fashion Week. - She's going anyway. - And I was wearing a white dress from Sherry Hill that was so beautiful. - It was, it was perfection. - And some girl like accidentally, it was not her fault, it's kind of her fault, but it was an accident. She ran into me with a plate of strawberries and there was just strawberries all over the front of my white dress. - I forgot about that. - And I was gonna wear this white dress to my rehearsal dinner, so I was so sad.

And then their sister Lainey walks up and she's like, oh, I know how to fix this because she's a model. She just knows everything about clothes apparently. And she just pours Sprite all over me. What? And then she's like dabbing it with napkins and like she's using lemons and things. And I was like, my dress is ruined. But then it was solid white again. With Sprite? Yeah. And lemons? Yeah.

This is crazy. Okay. Would you rather? So all you're telling me is I need to pour Sprite on Harper right now. No. No. No. I can't make that happen. No, that's okay. Matt, continue. Okay. Without the smacking, perhaps. What was I going to continue? Oh, would you rather? No, that wasn't it. Oh. Was that it? Yeah, you've been trying to finish it for like 10 minutes. Would you rather a billion dollars? Would? Yes. That's where I was. I'd rather have a billion dollars. Okay, you win. Your turn.

Okay, I got one. Let me finish. Okay, it's actually, would you rather have a billion dollars or die the most painful death humanly possible ever? Get a billion dollars? That's stupid. You have to answer. I'm glad you wasted our time. I don't think you understand. You have to answer. Oh, I think we all would rather take a billion dollars, man. What is the most painful death ever? I don't think we should talk about it. Details. What is that? Details.

I think it's dependent on the person. Nope. I have it. I don't know what you just said. I was going to go with the crucifixion. Oh my gosh. That's so bad. Or like,

Or like the manslaughter method. Oh, I have something to show you guys. You know why they call it crucifixion? Oh, there goes my mic. Because you actually die from not having enough oxygen the way you're sitting on the cross. Okay. That's what actually ends up killing you. Wait, has more people been crucified besides Jesus? Yeah. Is that a normal thing to do? Well, not anymore. They don't normally come back to life like Jesus, but yeah. You know Prisoners on Death Row?

Yeah, but we do to him. No Please I'm being so serious what you smack like literally so bad like you inherited it from your freaking great-great-grandmother, bro Ready this one's further. Oh, I know Guys, I have I have something to show you guys, please Kate. Can I you can you give me the remote to the TV, please? No one can see what you're doing

What are you doing, Kate? What is everybody doing? Open your mouth. Dude. Here we go. Oh, Alex, catch your one. Oh, he missed. Completely missed. What are you doing? Farther. Did you present a slideshow? Are you going to...

Good job! Only took you 500 tries. What are we doing? Kate made a slideshow for us all. Oh, is it about the world's most horrible death? Oh, sorry. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Yes. Talking about my giac? What was that one? I screenshot it. Did you guys see? This was me at the gym when I smelled like a Frito. Wait, did you guys see the TV? I'll send all these pictures and get them popped up. Don't you worry. So I was scrolling through the comments. Don't worry about this picture. I was at the gym and I smelled like a Frito because I still had myself tanned around. But somebody smells like a Frito.

freedom right now yeah it's that mustard dude it's gone anyway i was scrolling through comments and remember that episode that we all oh i'm sitting on mustard that's okay yeah i told you remember that episode we all got in like a huge fight and like mav and the cash were going at it because i'm preaching that to every episode these days a couple episodes ago but we all said we all said maverick you keep talking over you have to stop i was reading the comments

Oh, hand-picked comments? No, no, no. This was just like one after another. Maverick, please let them finish speaking. It's very difficult to follow the convo when you keep interrupting. I'm sorry, but Maverick's been so annoying the past episodes. I would lose my mind if Maverick was my brother. Classic middle child. I didn't do anything wrong. Maverick makes me want to click off the pod every episode because he never lets anyone talk. Propaganda. Maverick has never been more annoying. Kay is for... Oh, just ignore that. Maverick, shut up.

This is propaganda. Wait, wait, wait. Go back. Kay has a pretty giot. What was that? I said Mav has never been more annoying. No, no, no. The middle one. The middle one. Yeah, Kay is pretty and has a giot. Yeah, we can move past that. That was kind. Wait, why would you screenshot that? The point is, there was no reason. The point is, is as we had stated, he was being very obnoxious and the audience didn't like it. And those were not handpicked. That was just me casually scrolling through the comments. Mav calling over makes me want to rip my hair out.

Let's see. I don't know. I mean, it keeps going. Defaming my name. There's another one about my giard. And that was a teacup I saw on HomeGoods. But I just wanted to share. That's really impressive. Eight people said they found it annoying. No, that was just like the most recent eight comments. Seemed like there was only eight comments.

Yeah, our cameraman. You see I actually had to crop the comments because the other comments around it were probably positive. Yeah, we all saw that. I was just sharing with the class and I wanted to let everyone know that... I would like to see that picture of Cash, please. That's so cooked. I don't know if you want to see that picture. That's so cooked. Wait, what? What photo? What are you doing, Kate? I'm just, you know...

Making right my wrongs. What are you doing? I'm just fixing everything calm down. Wait, wait, wait what showed nothing? There is our logo again. What? I thought you were gonna show us something. No no no I was putting the point is he was dying on the hill. Can you turn off your ring notification every time a freaking squirrel walks past it? The point is that he was What? He's forking. Oh this?

I don't know. I found it on the ground. What happened to my Forky? I saw my Forky's legs. Look at Matt. He's really trying to find comments about Kate now. No, that's not what I'm doing. What's he doing, Harper? I'm commenting myself. He's surging back to all of them. You freaking idiot.

No, I just wanted to... Replying back to the comments that said you talk too much is crazy. It must be done. It was just constructive criticism. Constructive criticism. I think we all could use some constructive criticism on the pod. And I think that that is Mav. So Mav, you can now go around and share what mine is. I can't do that. Cash came Mav over.

No, come on. Come on criticism with Kate she cries. I don't cry. No, it's not true She'll be real man. Tell her what her tell her tell her what she she does bad on the pot. Come on I can't because it's like something she can't help What? Her giott? No, no, not that. Nothing. Uh, what is that? I really can't say it. It's so mean. Say it. Stop leaving. Perfect! Hold on grandpa cut that. Cut that one out of there. Yeah bleep that bleep that

You got a PODGE MOUTH over on this side of the room. That's not even bad, it's literally brain rot, right? No, yeah, I know, it's actually not a bad word, but it also is a bad word, so it's like... Actually, sorry, it's not even a bad word, it's like a phrase that you can't... Let's move on from that. Why'd you say that? Because it's fine. Hey, it's fine, man, what were you saying? What I was saying, I can't actually say. Go ahead. Well, are we going to have to bleep it? Well, look, I can probably fix this.

Is it my face? No. Okay, then I can be fixed. Kate's perfect, guys. Whoa. What is it, man? Come on.

I'm choosing a higher road here. Even though you want me to be mean to you. I'm not saying be mean. Dude, that was not mean. That was constructive criticism. I just said something crazy. The comments wanted to be heard. Is that why you waited to show me those until we were in front of five cameras with about a million people watching? Yes, because I wanted the audience to know that they are being heard. Sometimes public embarrassment is the way to go. It's about publicly trying to humiliate me. I actually asked Cash. I said, should I show it on the pod? He said, yes. Yeah, that'd be me.

It was your idea. You were just looking for verification from peers that this was a good idea. Guys, I'm so embarrassed that I just said that. You basically just pulled a peer-reviewed paper. That's insane. Matt, why is my constructive criticism? I feel like Kenzie doesn't like it. If I had any, I'd say it off the pod to you. Nice person. That's cool. Kenzie, do you not like it when they beef? Do you not like it when they beef? Kenzie told me I had to be nicer. I did say that. Why did you tell him that?

What? Why'd you tell him that? Because you're trying to make me say that he was mean. No, I'm not trying to make you say that. Yeah, you are. She's like, I'm not saying anything. I have the right to your main son. No, I'm just asking, why'd you tell me he had to be mean? What'd he do? Oh, just in general. It's like a, just a weekly thing. Just a weekly conversation. You're just a mean person.

No, he just hurts Kate's feelings. Yeah, she says I don't care if Kate's mean. Oh see now I'm being mean. Okay, yeah. Okay, well tell us what you're gonna say before I say that ranch thing. I'm not saying anything. This is not a real conversation. He's just making stuff up. But if we were to have a conversation it would go I don't care if Kate's hurting your feelings Mav. You should not hurt Kate's feelings. But Kate get me me me me me me me.

I'm like, I don't care what Kate did. You need to be nice. What did Kate did to entice these conversations? Because Kate actually tries not to talk a whole lot when you're around. Oh, what? Oh, what did I do? No, I'm being so serious. What did I do?

Listen, I brought the comments up on the pod for content. I don't actually care. I thought, you know, I asked Cash. He said, yeah, that's funny. You should do it. I said, okay. But what do I do off camera, just in day-to-day life, that you have to be told by your wife to be nice to me? Do I clean too much? Do I clean too much? Is that it? No. Is it me?

No, everybody's on their phones. They've been going off a lot. Everyone's phone has been going off and we're always ignoring it. Unfortunately, I'm going to be... It's not something we should sort out on the podcast. It's fine. Fine, we'll play charades. What am I? Oh, cash. You're a cash baker. Kate? You are hungry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Still hungry. Wait, no, stop. Yes. A giraffe? Yes.

I don't know. I can't see. Nobody knows who the freak I am. Really, that was like level one. I can't see you. Oh, I know who you are. It's Gerald. Yes! Thank you. He's living right here, Kate. Oh, I'm sorry. Now somebody else go. Okay, who am I? Me. Yep. Oh, this is easy. All right, Harper, you go down. Harper? Yeah. Okay. That was really charades, but... Yeah, you can't make noises. I don't know if she understands the game. Kate! No, no.

Like... Well, you're still Harper, but you should... That was the time when you should have chose something new. Oh, okay. Um, um, um, um, um. Oh, ready, ready, ready, ready, ready. That's noises again. Yeah, see, you can't... Have you ever... Okay, I don't know if she ever played charades. Okay. Do you know what charades is? Let's go back to Would You Rather. Cash, you had a good one. Oh, no. Cash, this morning, getting all of his protein. Okay, wait, I got one. Yeah, I knew she... Oh. I knew that. Okay, Kinsey. Okay.

Hopefully Kinsey knows how to pop the ring. Did your hip just buckle? Oh, yeah, that's Alex. That is Alex. Wait, Alex, we haven't showed them your moves, man. Come on. Oh, yeah.

You're gonna love this one! Alex, come on! No, no, come on, come on! What? No, come on! Wait, did I miss something? He can put his legs behind his head. Shut up! No, I'm being so poor. Alex, come on! You gotta put your legs behind your head, man. No, please! Please put your legs behind your head! Stop here pressuring him! No, I will continue. He does two at once! Whoa! See, I was thinking, like, maybe I could get one, maybe, but two? Okay, at least you get one? At least do the criss-crossy thingies.

I feel like I could get one. You don't understand anything. You think you can get your leg behind your head? I think so. Oh. Yeah, Alex can do that with two at the same time. Two at the same time is just incredible. That's extremely hard. Did you see this with your own eyes? Yes. I witnessed it. Oh my gosh. Oh. Oh. That looks like that really hurts. That did too. I can't do two. Wait, Alex, show them the crisscross thingy, please. Just the crisscross thing.

This thing? Don't make me sit here and gaslight you for an hour. Come on. Just do it. Alex, come sit here. Yeah. Where you put your other foot on top too? Yes. Well, that's not that impressive. No, you guys have got to see the way Alex's joints can move, man. I'm telling you. What have we got to see? Come here. Alex, come sit. Alex, come here, bro. Alex got a new haircut and he's embarrassed. He did. Come show off your new haircut. Wait, is that why you're not coming? Because of your haircut? No, I don't think that had any point to do with it, guys. Come on, come on. Real quick, real quick.

All right, well, just show us whatever cool circus tricks you can do. Circus tricks. All right, all right. Do the, like, thingies. He's a circus monk. He said I'm not doing that thing. He does a lot of things. He showed me. That's how he sits on a regular basis. He sits like that literally while he's filming the episode. That's his crisscross applesauce. Y'all might not understand, but that is a difficult sitting position. Try it, Harper. Harper's flexible, though. She might can.

Well, no, she's not even doing it right. It's just not natural. No, your ankle's gotta go all the way up there. What are you- See? No, up by your knee. It's all the way by his hip! Yeah, I don't know if that's normal. Wait, that's normal. Wait, how are you doing that, Math? No, Math still looks goofy doing it. Oh wait, no, Math, because that leg's gotta be this way. Your bottom leg? Oh wait.

Okay, how does Maverick do it too? What? Y'all built weird. What the? See, look at Harper struggling. That's how I am. No, do your legs behind your head. That's what I need to see. Do the one leg. Do the one leg.

The amount of ease. That's crazy. He's struggling. What do you mean? Just sit behind his head. Looks like he combs his hair like that. Alright, Alex, good. What else did you do the other day? I forgot. Oh, do the knee thing where you get on your knees and go backwards. Everyone can do that. Do you guys know how hard it is to

- Do it like that. - It's not. - Do it like that, Matt. - You're a freak, guys. - No, do it like that. - You're freaking weird, bro. - I'm the most inflexible person in this room. I can do that. - Do it, do it, do it. - It's easy. - Watch your knees break. - I heard it pop. - No, Alex is like he does it casually. - I heard it break. - No, no, do it, do it. - That kind of did hurt. - Keep it off your ear for a while. - Watch. - Now sit. - You just can't do anything. - Put your butt on the ground, hun.

- I know that hurt. - He screamed like a little girl, did you hear him? - Matt, I will give you $5 and you can sit on your butt. That's not that hard. - It's not hard at all. - Five up at the tent. Really? - No, we're doing it. - I went for money, man. - Yeah, there's no way I'm sitting down. - Okay, man. - You've never seen those people lay backwards? - I can do it. - Can we please see two feet behind the head? Oh, you can do it for a second. - Wait, Matt, Matt, do it, do it, do it. - Cash. - No, he can't do it. I just need to show him.

Harper, can you do it too? Yeah, it's very easy. No, me and Michael have tried this. Okay. What? Okay, do the other thing where you fall back.

Where you lay on your legs and you fall back. That's what Harper just did? Yeah. It's clearly possible. Yeah, but it's cool because you do it. No, just put the legs on the mat. Let me see you do that, Mav. Cash, are you kidding me right now? Please stop. Let me see you do that. No, I'm stopping you from embarrassment. I'm stopping you from any more embarrassment. No. I'm thinking, please, cool, let's not. No, please do that. No, no, no. You're done. Can somebody do that? Can I do that? I don't know if I can do it. Everyone in this room can do that. Now sit on your butt. Sit on your butt there. Now go backwards.

Yeah, everyone in this room can do it. Kate just got scared of falling. She's fine. Yeah. Y'all's knees feel different, man. Can you do a catch? No, I can't. It's your Askin slaughters. My knees can't. No, you have to commit. No, you don't understand. My knees will snap. Snap in half. That'd be a really good episode. Cash's leg snaps. Cash's knees snap. We're doing Pilates tomorrow. You need to prepare your knees. We're doing Pilates tomorrow. They might snap. Yeah. Now sit.

Wait, don't force, don't force, that'll actually hurt him. No, no, just let go, you're good, you're good. Matt! I didn't do nothing. My butt doesn't sit down. No, just- Just lay down, just lay down. You just have to stretch your butt. You gotta get good stretching them knees. What's wrong with you? It won't touch you. Just lay down. You guys don't understand. My butt won't, it won't touch the ground. Just lay down. Dude.

What's wrong? You look so stupid right now. Do you know how stupid you look? You do look pretty stupid. Try it again. No! Everyone can sit like that. Oh, I cannot sit like that. Yeah, sit like that, Mav. Are you kidding me? I'm so done with you thinking like everyone can't sit down. How do you do that? No, Mav, you can't do that. Let's see it, Mav. I can sit like this all the time. Let's see it.

What? Well... I sit like this all the time. Okay, well, Matt is just a freak, too. What are you talking about? There's a bunch of freaks in here because I don't bend like this at all. You've never sat like this? No! Why would you sit like that just for fun? Can you guys sit like that? No, I can't do that. I probably could, but not for fun. You've never wanted to draw on the bottom of your foot? So you just sit like that? Draw.

I can barely see the bottom of my foot when I want to. You can't see the bottom of your foot? It's a stressful situation when I need to look at the bottom of my foot. I can do that. Alex, don't be calling me out. How do you get your toenails trimmed? Well, I can obviously do this. But that's not barely reaching. Is that it? No, I did this. He doesn't clip his toenails. Wait, I forgot what I did.

He's just, he's fine. Dude, this burger smells so bad. I just keep smelling the mustard. Hey, I got a question. Yeah, yeah. Apparently your tricks weren't very cool for Maverick. Or me. The double foot behind the head would have been very impressive. The single foot was still impressive. It hurts.

Comment down below if you guys can do those tricks. See, Mav, you're saying everyone can do this. Look at Harper can't even get it. Yes, I am. Harper, were you scared earlier when you walked downstairs to the garage? Oh, no. Only literally. I have a question. Mav, I need you to tell me what I can do to fix myself. Kate's still worried about her self-help journey. Stop worrying. Listen, I am on a journey to better myself. Okay, do that. And I need your help. No.

No, you don't. You're the only person that'll be extremely brutally honest with me in this household. You think? Can you walk on your knees while you do it though? But you'll just think I'm wrong. I don't think so. Yeah, you will. Whatever I say, you'll just be like, eh, he's stupid. No. If it's valid. Yeah, see, if it's valid. You say it and then we'll all vote if it's true or not. Yeah.

Mav, I need to better myself. We all live together. We all have to work to be better. Mav, you drag things on for way longer than they need to be. Because I say we're not going to talk about it, and you guys keep pestering me until we talk about it. Mav, you literally did every episode. Come on. I think Kate is a great person. Oh, my God. Good job. So proud of you. What the? Are you telling him not to say this right now? Are you encouraging this? I'm encouraging him to not be rude, yes. But is it rude, or is it something that I could genuinely fix? Oh, I don't know what he's thinking, but it's probably going to be rude. Kenzie thinks the same thing, too. Don't let her be. What?

Okay, well then I need to know if it's something because we all live together. I'm a firm believer that if there's something wrong, we all need to talk about it. And I need to be better because something's obviously wrong. So what is wrong? You know Maverick well enough to know that he's probably trolling you. There's probably nothing at all. Yeah, once he said Kinsey thinks it's two, I figured out it was a troll. No, it's not a troll. Yes, it is. Ma, be honest. I can do sound noises.

You see, he doesn't have to say anything at all to just get under your skin. He's just like, oh, now if I say nothing, she's going to think she's the worst person ever. She'll be thinking of all the horrible things she does in life. And, ooh, that'll really make her feel bad. What? That's the inside of an average person. Yeah, you're right. I remember you're like, woohoo, that's going to make her feel bad. What does he do to you, Kinty? If there's something, this is so dramatic, her noises, keep it coming. Okay. If there's something I could do to fix being your housemate, what is it? Hmm.

Do I take up too much room in the fridge? That's not where I thought that was going. Also, that might have been the fattest statement I've ever heard in my entire life from anyone. I was looking in there and I low-key was like, dang, I got a lot in there compared to this. Kate. What? Like, it's not like, it's just, let me put it this way. The problem is you, I'm going to get in so much trouble for saying this. All right. The problem is you,

look at things from a perspective of like not that you're better than everyone else but like but like oh things just got good i'm here for the drama yeah but like like you know like let's say he's like trying to make up stuff did not sound bad it's just getting let's say somebody does something and you do something but you don't even know the other person did something but you know you did something so you're just gonna assume that person did nothing how do you you have a talent for losing people are you saying like

I clean. Like, throughout this whole time, you've even made lots of statements like, oh, what, do you have a problem with me being your maid? Do you have a problem with me being like, blah? I do clean a lot. Do you have a problem with me? I do clean a lot. And naming good things you do. So, but what you didn't name was like,

Oh, Maverick, do you have a problem with, you know, maybe this thing I do or maybe this other thing I do? Well, I'm unaware. You only name the good things because you think you're perfect. I don't think I'm perfect. I was here for the drama at one point and now I would do anything to not be here. I get what you're saying, but, okay. I don't get what he's saying. No, no, I do. No, no, he's saying, he's saying like, because I'm aware that I do all these things, I assume that nobody else does anything.

See, I don't think that's right. Is that not true? I actually think she's better than everyone else. Wait, how did that say it one more time? Because I'm aware of what I do. I'm aware that I will do like clean this. That's exactly the problem. Do that. But because I know that I do that, he thinks that I assume that nobody else does anything. Okay. Yes. See, she's very aware of everything she does. She even said it in her own state. Yeah, I am. But I'm also aware of the things that other people do too.

I'm aware that Kinsey worked for days to get the spreadsheet for the LOL podcast, all of our stuff organized, which is something we three have never done in the last year and a half of having a podcast. And I'm very thankful that she did that because that is not something that any of us wanted to do. Oh, I'm cooked. So cooked. I'm aware, Mav, that you take care of things for the podcast and you are making sure that thumbnails get done. I'm aware that Cash is doing the same thing as well. What? This girl?

I mean I do that a lot, not everyday but I do it a lot. No I hear him, I know I hear him. No I hear him. I hear him talking all the time. Do we have the thumbnail? What are we doing today? Do we have this for your dad? After I reminded him. What the? Well he's still, he's getting stuff done, you're getting stuff done. I'm aware that everyone's getting stuff done around the house. Whomp whomp whomp whomp. Whether it's work, our house, or what it is. Okay you're right, you're right. I didn't want to hear about any of this. I told you. Yeah you're right. What the? What you doing on your phone over there Harper? I'm stealing.

So hard to think of bad things about people. From who? Have you ever stolen information? Yes. What? What do you mean stealing information? Oh, are you trying to get into like identity theft? I know a guy. Perfect. Okay. They tried to get Kate today. Wait, what kind of information are you stealing? Oh my gosh, they sure did. Have y'all ever been stolen from? Dude.

Yeah, when we were growing up, people used to steal from us all the time. Yeah, I've been stolen from multiple times, but I'm not going to bring it up. There was a time in the middle of the night. I used to steal things. He did. I remember one time he stole a bunch of candy. I did. And he had to go back into the store and return it. I thought it was free. It was.

I did. I did. I did think it was free. Dude, I thought the car was free. No, no, no. Let me tell you something. Who puts a candy bowl, a candy bowl at

the checkout counter that's valid i did the same thing yeah what and people just not assume it's free in individual packaging yeah like the little gas station no yes it was and did it have a little sticky note that said one five cents per candy thing i don't know but if you can't read if you can't read you can't see you assume it's you were old enough to read how old were you how would i know

What do you mean? He was like 15. No. How would I know? Because it was a long time ago. Yeah, but he was like 15. He was like at least like seven. How old were y'all when y'all's dad started putting cameras up? Not old enough. First of all, what did your dad do? Because I don't know if that was normal. What are you talking about?

What do you mean? What do you mean our dad putting cameras up? Your dad has cameras everywhere because people break onto his property. I wish he had cameras pre, like, when we were, like, pre at home still. Not pre at home. Whatever the word I'm looking for. I wish he had cameras when we still lived at home. So he did not have cameras when you were at home. That was my question and y'all failed to answer. One time there was this guy. Well, it was the middle of the night. I believe it was, like, August 31st. Wednesday afternoon. What? Wednesday evening. Sorry.

And this guy, while we're sleeping, starts breaking into our garage. Oh, garage. What? No, he's breaking into our garage. It's not even part of your house. It's literally like right next to my house. What do you mean? Yeah, it was a close call. Yeah. He's breaking into the garage. Could it be me next? Has anybody's house actually ever been... That's what we hear inside. We're like, oh gosh. Was it your garage? Someone's breaking into our garage. So then my dad comes out midnight in his underwear. With a pistol.

Yes. And he starts shooting it in the air, saying, I'll kill you! He's running around saying something like that. I don't know his exact words, but he was running around just like saying, if I see you, I will kill you. And then the person takes off running and he starts shooting at the person. Good boy. Kate, what would you do?

That's what I did every time, dude. Okay, what would you do if you were out in the garage? I don't know why you'd be in James' garage, but if you were in James' garage at 1 in the morning and then you just see him walk outside, I'm going to kill you. If you show your face, you're dead, and I'm going to put you six foot under. What would you do? I knew I inherited it from somewhere because every time I walked to that garage, I shouted the exact same thing, but nobody was there.

But I was always scared there was. So every time I'd have to go out to the garage... You have PTSD? Me too! Every time I'd have to go out to the garage at night by myself... Keep in mind, we live in the country, and our garage is not attached to our house. It's like a football field away. So, I would have to go out to the garage to turn off the light at night every once in a while. And it was dark. 10 p.m., 11 p.m., sometimes pushing midnight. And then, I would be terrified. And I would walk around, like in a 360, walking outside. And I'd be like, I know you're out here!

Okay, I'm gonna hurt you if you come out here. I got a gun. Imagine being the burglar, though. And then as soon as I would hit the light to turn off the light in the garage and the button to close the garage door, I'd book it back to the house. That's what I do in my bed. But imagine being the burglar, though, on the other end of that, and you just hear a little, like, 10-year-old boy, I'm gonna get ya. I'm gonna get ya. Honestly, I'd be scared of a little, like, 10-year-old boy who's like, I hit you. Guys, what is that smell alone? What's that smell?

What's crazy is, is Cash, I remember watching him out the window and he'd be literally walking in circles. Yeah, and this guy was not a good sibling at all. I'd be like, Matt, please come out there with me. Please, man. Dude, what is that smell? Somebody's cooking something. That smells bad. What are y'all cooking? That smells horrible. That is not popcorn.

It's crazy. Anyways, I was, what was I saying? Oh yeah. I'd ask ma'am. I'd be like, Hey man, can you, could you do me a sod and walk out here with me? And I'd be like, as the good brother I was, I'd say, no, there's bad guys out there. Why would I go out there? And I was like, and every once in a while he would tell me, fine, I'll watch you from the window.

And then I'd be like, you know what? That'll do. And I'd go outside. He's like, you got my six. And I'd be like 20 steps out. And I look back and he is not out the window. And I was like, ah! Do you still feel that way sometimes though? Yeah, he definitely runs back from putting the trash cans out sometimes. I'd be lying if I say we didn't go on a camping trip last summer. When I had to go take a wee, I ran back.

Still zipping up my pants, bro. Did you really? People don't understand when you got PTSD from that. It's terrifying because this guy took me out in the woods in Colorado where there are bears and elk. And you're the elk man. That does not sound like an elk. It sounds like ghosts are all around you. It's like, oh, come on, hurry up and pee. And Loki did sound like screaming women just all around him. It's like, oh! That's what it sounds like. And you're like, oh, gosh! This is what it sounds like.

And I'm just there with my hands down. But once you're in that magical little tent, nothing can touch you. The tent. Is that weird? When I was in the tent, I was like, even if a bear comes, he ain't getting through my tent. I always had so much faith in that tent.

Dude, I had a dream the other night that we went to Montana and went camping. Nope. And it's actually grizzly country. Not doing that. So are you down this year to go to grizzly country? No, I'm not down for you to go anywhere to do that. Cash, I'm asking you a question. I could ride a grizzly. What the? Let me tell you a story about a grizzly.

a friend. I'm sorry, do you actually have a story about a grizzly? Because that's kind of crazy. Yes, and I'm about to, listen, me and Matt have had this conversation for the last like two weeks every other day, I swear. It doesn't count if it was at a zoo.

No, it wasn't at a zoo. Okay. It was in the wilderness, okay? And Maverick just thinks that he's invincible and he's never going to die. Haven't died not even once. Welcome to my life. One time. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Anyways, I have a friend who goes on hikes and does all the running things and all the nature, whatever. I don't know. And he has a group of friends.

And two of his buddies went camping one time, okay? And they're in separate tents. And as they're hiking, they, like, pass this family. They have, like, children. So they're like, oh, nothing of it, right? And the dad of the family says, hey, like, I don't know if y'all are planning on, because they had their packs with their tents in them. He was like, I don't know if y'all are planning on staying out here tonight. Just be careful, because we did see a mama bear and her cub. And when a bear has cubs, they're more aggressive, okay? And so they're like, okay, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, they've gone camping like their entire lives. They were the Boy Scouts or whatever.

And now they're like 24 years old. Oh, that bear has no idea what's coming for them. Two Boy Scouts. I'd be scared if I was that bear. My point in saying that is they've gone camping a lot, which the two of you have not. Whoa. Y'all are just a step below them. I've been solo camping at the lake nearby. Anyways, let me finish. What the? They go to sleep, right? In their separate tents because they have just one man tent. See, that's a no-go. You can't do that. If a bear is going to attack, you must be in the tent together.

Everyone knows that. They're obviously not very good Boy Scouts. Anyways, listen. Who would Gary do this? What if you get lonely at night and you want to cuddle? Listen! This is a serious thing. Y'all can't be joking about this. It's serious.

at that that night knock on his door and everything sorry a bear attached to the one boy in the one tent yes and the other boy he was in the other guy's team stop laughing it would have been fun yeah this is real i'm not making this up wait if she's being serious stop making jokes i'm being so serious and the bear is like attacking this boy and the other boy can make it no he doesn't make it

But the other boy, they're like 24 years old, y'all. Okay. So y'all aren't special and you can die from a bear or anything else. Jumping off a cliff in Montana can kill you.

are you joking wait wait continue the story yeah continue please okay anyway so the bear is attacking his friend and the other friend is asleep in his tent but obviously he wakes up because he hears what's going on and he said all all you can do is just like you can like smell everything and even hear his friend screaming oh my gosh and but he can't do anything because if he gets out of his tent like you're not running away from a grizzly bear smell what the bear because it's like their scent is just so strong

So his friend is just sitting there dying and he's just having to lay there and wait because if you leave then you're screwed you're done for and if my best one was getting attacked by bear I was so wait I would get out of my tent and help her so this guy says that to the buddy's getting killed by the bear and he stayed in his tent what is he gonna do get out if a bear has you you're done for what the bear you're not stopping the bear if he's already attacking somebody unless

Unless you have like a gun. Did they have a gun? No, they didn't have a gun. Then they're really not very good boy scouts because I would never go into bear country without a gun. Well, that's what happened. So you're not going to go tint around in... They were in Montana. Yes, I will. No, I think... I don't remember where they were. Okay. I will go in there, but I will bring... Guys, the guest is calling. Maybe I shouldn't answer. Nah. Just wait. Maybe next time. Just text them. Okay. What was I going to say? Oh, I was talking about your PTSD. You're going to ride a bear...

Yeah, I was going to ride a bear and then I was going to kill a bear. And I forgot. I remember we were talking about getting robbed. Oh, yeah. Speaking of getting robbed, my car got robbed one time. Yeah, and guess what they stole? My stuff. They broke into Matt's car and stole my stuff. Shouldn't have left it in an unlocked car, man. And they stole our friend Michael's stuff. Everything besides Matt's stuff. That's crazy. So Matt still didn't learn his lesson.

My house got broken into one time, but they didn't steal anything, except they tried to steal my uncle's identity. What? And that was fun. What do you mean? Wait, hold up. So they went in there and was just like, where's the social? No, yeah, actually. What? What? I remember, and I know you were joking earlier, and you're like, it's August and Wednesday and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Nope. I remember it was in November.

And it was Wednesday. Wait, people actually broke into your home. Wednesdays are dangerous. Yeah, people break into your house all the time. No, no, they broke into your house though that you were currently living in. Yeah, that's why I'm scared of the dark and Maverick makes fun of me. Wait, hold up. Tell the story. This is good.

- Somebody's here. - Hey, babe, can you get that? Wait, wait. - Tell them that you're the reason our house smells bad. - Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Tell the story seriously. - There's mustard everywhere. - Oh, well it was Wednesday and on Wednesdays our house cleaner came over, okay? And so my mom disassembled the alarm, not disassembled or whatever, turned off the alarm so the house cleaner can come in.

And we don't have these anymore because we've remodeled. But our house at the time had like glass windows, like sliding glass doors. And sliding glass doors are really easy to pop open, like pull off of the track and just open and then put back. So you can easily break into them. Anyways. Okay. I'm in second grade. It's November. It's Wednesday. You were little. Yeah. And yeah. And I've been scarred for life ever since.

This is kind of a long story. Do we have time for this? Make fun of her for it. No, we have time. Don't worry. We do have time? Yeah. Okay. Not how I'm getting guessed anyways. So this guy, he like goes to Walmart, right? Well, before he goes to Walmart...

he tells his mom he's like hey i really yeah yeah yeah i know the whole background story because he like reached out to my parents afterwards and like tried to apologize but oh sorry i broke into your home i didn't mean for you to catch me what do you say to that this is such a long story though i should have started at the beginning um go back okay i'm at the beginning of the podcast

Okay, so he tells his mom, he's like, hey, I'm going to do something bad. The guy's bipolar. He has issues probably. You have a lot of stories with bipolar people. I do. That's not good for me, probably. Anyways, so he's like, I'm going to go to Walmart and do something bad. So his mom calls the police. Imagine I told you that, Nav. I'm going to go to Walmart and do something bad.

I'm going to go to Walmart. It's going to be bad. Y'all make jokes out of things that should not be jokes. Honestly, yeah. What? Okay, sorry. Yeah, we should stop doing that. It's definitely not the LOL podcast. Last time we did that, the guy got killed. I'm going to try to go fast. Y'all are taking my time. You keep interrupting.

Okay, so he goes to Walmart. His mom calls the police, okay? So the police are on their way, but before they can get there, he has, like, stolen some stuff from Walmart, and then he runs out to get to the quickest car possible, and it's an older gentleman and his older wife, and he, like, pushes them to the ground and, like, backs up over the wife's legs. Oh, my gosh. They're both fine. He just broke her legs, but they're fine. They're alive. Oh, my gosh.

He backs up and he leaves with their car because he's trying to get out of town, right? Well, there's only like, it's a small town, so there's like four ways out of the town. And if you can't get through those four ways, then you're donezo. And so the cops had already blocked off the roads. You're donezo. Yeah. He pulled over by the Whataburger. And the Whataburger in our town has like a pond with a little fountain. And there's like a creek that runs from the pond. And the creek runs all the way back behind my parents' house.

And so he like parks the car by the pond and he like takes off.

And somebody who was working at Whataburger called the police and were like, hey, I think like that guy they are looking for, we just saw like, I don't know if it's him, but like somebody just pulled up randomly and just started like walking through the woods back behind the creek. And so the cops trail after him and they're like, go. Also, meantime, me and my sister are in second and third grade and my mom is teaching first grade. So we're all at the same campus. Okay. And then my little brother and sister are babies. So they're in daycare. And, um,

It's the middle of school day. And while all this is happening, y'all know, I don't know if y'all know this, but Harper and Kate probably do. Whenever they have like lockdown drills and you have to like get underneath your desk where you hide against the wall. We did that from like eight in the morning until school closed at 3 p.m. Why? Because the guy was, they didn't know where he was.

That's terrible. And it's a small town, so Walmart is just a mile away from the schools. So anyways, they shut all the schools down, and basically we just kind of hid the entire day. Wait. What?

What did he do in the beginning to make the whole town shut down? He said he told his mom. Rob Walmart ran over grandma. What? And he told his mom he's going to do something bad. Well, yeah, that'll do it. So they're just searching for him. And also, the couple had a gun in their car. Oh, no. And they reported that. And when the cops went to the car, they realized that it was gone. And so he had taken it with him on the creek. Okay, so we're all locked down in school.

And my mom teaches first grade and in first grade they hatch chickens. This is kind of like a side story, but I just think it's kind of funny. They hatch chickens as like a science project in first grade. And so my mom had like 10 chickens that had hatched and she brought them home like the week before. So we had just like a little box of chicks at our house and

And so my mom was joking with her, like other teacher friends that day, like, oh, hopefully he breaks into my house and steal those chickens. And they're like, oh, Jenny, don't say that. And she's like, oh, no, I'd love for him to take those chickens. That'd be great. Anyways, that's a side story. Then the cops. So after he's run through the creek back behind Whataburger, the cops are like trailing him and they have dogs on his trail. Oh, it sounds so fun. And with the dogs. Yes. Yeah, it does sound fun. I think we can get Stella to do that.

Probably not. I think so. Cash, we should test it out. First, you've got to find a bad guy at Walmart. We can make him trail Cash. Anyways, so the dogs trail them up to our house, and the cops check all the doors in the front door and the side glass doors, and everything is locked, so they just move on. They keep going, but the dogs lose the trail. Meanwhile, he's inside trying to become your uncle? Yes. Wow. Wait, whoa. He wasn't your uncle in the first place? No.

i'm sorry i'm a horrible storyteller i was keeping up okay anyways so i'm sorry he's about to be her uncle just wait he's inside the house okay but the cops don't know that so they're looking at throughout the rest of the neighborhood like trying to figure out where this guy is if anybody else has leads it's a whole day pursuit okay

so by the end of the day do i not have any more time oh no case you're scrolling on her phone no i saw something and i was checking it but it's fine okay by the end of the day the school day my mom and we all get in the car and we're heading home and also a little side note my grandma had picked up my little brother and sister from daycare there's a lot of side notes well it's it all makes sense in the end i promise i promise okay she picks them up from daycare

And me and my mom and my older sister, JC, are in the car heading home. And we're coming down the street and there's cars everywhere. Okay. Also, when I was younger, my dad worked in the oil field. So he was always gone. My dad does too. Side note. Well, kind of. I'm sorry. Not the same, but kind of. Oh. My dad like worked off for months at a time. Oh. And so he wasn't in town. And...

My dad has a brother named David who they're twins. So it's like cash and math. They're like best friends and brothers. That's how they are. And so if anything were to ever happen, my mom would call David. Yeah. And before we left the school, David called her and was like, hey, like, tell me when you're about to head home.

because I want to meet you to make sure, like, everything is okay with this, like, guy running around town. And she was like, oh, I'm fine. Like, he's not going to be in our house, you know. And so David's like, all right, well, just call me to tell me. So she calls him. We're headed home.

and as we're going down the street, there's cars everywhere. And my mom is like getting all giddy and me and Jay's here in the backseat. We're like, what's happening, mom? And she's like, oh, your dad is so sweet. He just came into town. He's throwing me a party. And we're like, oh, this is so fun. And as we get closer to the house, you realize all the cars are cop cars. And you see David at the end of the street, my uncle, my real uncle,

And he's like telling my mom to like stop, like don't come forward towards the house. And my mom's like, oh, like why are there so many cops here? This is crazy. I didn't really know I knew that. I mean, you friends that were cops, that's insane. And so she gets out of the car all happy and she like walks up there. And now this is her point of view because I don't remember any of this, but she told me all this.

She walks up to David and she can hear someone yelling, Jenny, Jenny, please tell him it's me. I was in second grade. Oh, like eight, seven, something like that. And the cops walk up to her and they're like, hey, we found this man in your house. And he's saying that he's David and he like has all the information on David. So similar how like Cash probably has like all of Maverick's passwords, all of his information. Maverick probably has all of Cash's stuff.

they just have a lot of information about each other. He had gone through my parents desk in the office and had gotten like all this information. He had looked at all these pictures with people's names on them. So he could tell you exactly who is who. And it's a small town. So all the cops in the town know our family. And so they were like, we don't think this guy's related to you, but he sure seems to know a lot about your family. And like, he can point at pictures and know exactly who's who and what their name is and all these things. Um,

And so my mom was like... Yes, see? So I know this one. David. Me. I'm David. I know I changed a lot. But anyways...

This is like a freaking crime that takes weeks to plan. Yeah. No, but also he was wearing completely different clothes from what the people had said that he looked like, the bad guy looked like. Because while he was in the house all day. He took David's clothes. No, my dad's.

He had taken a shower, like made himself breakfast, ate. He was the cop said. He was really playing the role of I am David. He's like, I gotta feed my chickens. Well, he was waiting for somebody to get home to have like a getaway car because he has his gun and all he has to do is have somebody walk in the house and be like, get in the car. We're going. And you can just hide in the floorboard while they pass the cops. That was his plan anyways.

And it's crazy because my grandma was supposed to get home like just minutes before all the cops arrived. But there was just like something in her heart that she was like, I feel like I really need to like go to the grocery store for some reason. My grandma does not live in the same town that we live in. So there was no reason for her to go to the grocery store at all. She had my siblings in the car with her from preschool. She just felt like doing it. Yeah. She was like, might as well just take them to the grocery store. So she goes to the grocery store. She doesn't buy anything.

But whenever she pulls up, my mom was like, where have you been? And she was like, well, I was going to come home and I went to the grocery store. And anyways, that's just a God thing. I feel like she could have easily pulled up and he would have gotten in the car with her and who knows what would have happened. But anyways, so this guy's like saying that he knows my mom and my mom was like,

I don't know this guy like he's insane that's crazy and so the cops take him to jail and like a month later he writes my parents a note saying like he's so sorry for breaking in and like he has all these like mental issues and stuff but yeah for the whole day he just spent the day eating food taking showers using my dad's razor putting his clothes on that's crazy this guy literally broke into your house and tried to impersonate your dad

Literally using his razor and everything to try to literally be part of your family. Yeah. That's pretty crazy. But anyways, ever since then, I have not been a fan of the dark. That's valid. And that is why I'm scared of the dark. See, nothing like that ever happened to me. I just didn't like the dark. Well, you should come up with a cooler story. No, everyone should be scared of the dark. Like, you should be. Like, if you can't see, one of your senses is gone. That's kind of funny.

After all that happened. Did he take the chickens? No, he didn't. He just gave me the dirtiest look I think I've ever seen. What?

Imagine you come home, he just cooked the chickens for breakfast. What was your side note, Kinsey? That's not sad. You know when you're in the middle of something really bad, you're really focused on how horrible it is, but then weeks later you look back and you're like, oh, that was kind of funny. My mom, weeks later, she was like, dang it, he didn't take those stupid chickens. Anyway, so that's the end of the story. Well, good story. Well, anyways, guys, thank you so much for watching this episode. Sorry it took so long. We'll see you next time. Peace.