Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
So my first one says, go back to the end of the rainbow. Who's that to? This episode is brought to you by Shopify.
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Can you all please do a live show so we can all laugh in your face?
Oh, wow. What? I will not be participating if that's the reason you want us to do it. Imagine we had a live show and we were all so hyped about it and we come out and we think it's going to be fans and they're all just like, boo, you suck. I'm so tired of seeing mentally disabled people on a podcast. Oh, wow. I think that was talking to you. What? Yeah, just a guess. Pickleball Dramastics said, I hate the way she's sitting.
Okay. How are you sitting? Wow. Thank you. How are you sitting? I was sitting like this. What is the point of posting this? Zero talent whatsoever. Okay. That's it? That's the whole comment? No, that wasn't the comment. That's your whole comment? No. Wow, that one really hurt my feelings. Zero talent whatsoever. Super, super cringy. Embarrassed for you. This dude said, dude in the Egyptian costume is stupid. I can't even finish that. I can't even finish it.
You wanna read it? Then why'd you bring it up? Well, because it made me feel really... I'm the dude in the Egyptian costume. Let me see, let me see. It's like... I'm sure I can find it on your screen. The dude in the Egyptian costume is... No, you can't read that. Let me see it, let me see it. Getting married at 18 is like leaving the club at 9pm. Oh, wow. Yeah. Wait, hold on. Wait, pause. Kate...
Where are you getting your hate comments? My comment section. Did you hear Kate's? Go ahead, Kate. Say this horrible hate comment that really hurt my feelings. It hurt my feelings. What is it? Getting married at 18 is like leaving the club at 9 p.m.
i'd hate to leave the club that would suck i'd just get there that is that's like a hate comment um this one's kind of hateful uh oh i wasn't sure who it was too but it's to you your name's in it um it says i wonder how long it takes kate to paint on her eyebrows oh oh my gosh that's that's kind of cruel all right that's crazy that's that is do you are you how do you feel how long
I don't paint my eyebrows on. She's lying. I see you do it every day. She has a pencil and she's like... That's not painting. I put a little bit because my eyebrows are patchy at the beginning. So you do paint your eyebrows. I put a little bit to fill it in. So they just wanted to know the time. I think they were just... You must know. It probably takes me like...
15 seconds to do an eyebrow? Wait, hold on. So I have to go to I don't do it to 15 seconds? Well, because I don't paint my eyebrows on you, idiot. I use a pencil. Then what's taking your 15 seconds? My little eyebrow pencil. There's a difference between paint and pencil. Okay, so you have a pencil and you color your eyebrow. I think Kate would relate to this next comment. It says, I wish Cash would just leave the pot. What the? Say it louder.
I got another one for you. Okay, man, we hit it. You got a lot. Josh looks like the brother to the Wendy's girl. Which, I'm not sure if they mean the Wendy's girl or if they're talking about you. If you're the Wendy's girl. What? Oh, no, they're definitely saying that I look like her brother.
Are you chewing on your phone case? And they also called you a Wendy's girl, which is really bad. Oh. That's your phone case? Did I come off your phone case? Yes. And also my poop hands. Wendy's be kind of dingy. Wait. I like those hands. Also, by the way, this one says, why does the child... Wait, no. What?
What did you say? This one says... No. What did you say? This one says... No. No. Continue, Harper. No, no. Did you hear what she said? I didn't hear anything. Go for it. She referred to her right hand as her poop hand. Oh, no. No, I didn't do that. This one says, why is a child never wearing pants? I can't read. This one's kind of mean to Harper. Let me... I just want to read it. You just want to read it? Yeah. Well, if I let you read it, then I might as well say it. Okay. Okay.
I can't say it. Okay, I got one. I'll let Kate say it. I'll say it. I'll say it. It's the last one there. The last one? Harper should fall down the stairs. Harper should fall down the stairs and maybe it would fix her face. You butchered that so hard.
Mic drop. - So I fixed my face. - You guys are so, hey, please comment more. - You guys are so nice to us. - Maverick should take a trip to the Bermuda Triangle. - What does that mean? - What does that mean? - It's a tropical destination.
You guys know what the Bermuda Triangle is? It's where people go and don't come back. What did you say? I said it's where people go and don't come back. Yeah, it's like that triangle in the ocean where planes or ships, they all go through it and you never see them again. I got another one. Not bad. Wait, is it a real thing? Yeah, it's a real thing. Wait, pause. It's just a place where your offices can get messed up. No, no, no, no, no. So you're telling me if I go, no one's ever came back? No, people come back all the time. But there's like a lot of shipwrecks there.
Basically like planes fly through there consistently like there are quite a few who haven't made it to the other side and they don't know why or where it went. Something like magnetic fields mess up their instruments or something. What happened there? I got another one. No, but why is Mav kind of hot? Man, that one kind of hurt my feelings. She did not eat. What?
I mean, I guess you could call me skinny. Y'all's hate comments suck. Oh, this one's very hateful. This one might hurt you. Matt being the sexier baker was not on my bingo card. That's crazy. I'm starting to think somebody might have made some of these up. Nope. Maverick is literally the reason why my standards are so high.
You actually made these up yourself. I did not. Yes, you did. No, I did not. No. No, I didn't. I know you did. Team no one gives a crap. Okay. I have one. Wow. You're rich, but could be prettier. Oh, that was in my DMs. Okay. Yours are so pathetic.
You said fine hate comments. That was not a love comment. We want some mean ones. Cash, how dare you disrespect Indians like that? What did you do? He probably did a thing on the club. Yeah, you were talking. I don't know if we should bring it up again. I don't know if we should just throw this out there. He was trying to do the impersonation from Madagascar. Oh, okay.
Oh, yes. I didn't see Julian. And then it turned out he wasn't Indian. But that guy's definitely Indian. Oh, wait. We went through this. Yeah, he was from here. Like somewhere in the States. Oh, yeah. That was crazy. He's banger. Banger accent. He nailed it. Why does it always wear a skirt? It?
I'm not an it. Yo, Kate always tells me not to call babies it. Every time I see a baby, I call it it. Yeah, it's an it. A baby's an it. A baby's an it. When you look at it and you're like, oh, it's so cute. Kate's like, don't call it it. I literally can't handle this. Oh, this one got three million. Hold on. No, before we continue. Before we continue. Kate, you need to take off the blanket. No. That is bringing down your vibe right now. No. She gets too much attention. That wasn't even funny. She's a pinkie. Why is he so freaking fine? Oh. I didn't know.
This is how rich kids hang out. He's so hot. How? Okay. Literally, apparently nobody brought hate comments. Gingers are really fine. If I was a ginger, I'd shave my head too. What? The color brown on her looks really cute.
What's crazy is I can't remember which episode a lot of these came from. Wait, Harrison fumbled. Listen, the truth is, guys, the hate comments. No, these aren't. None of these. Like half of these weren't even hate comments. What's worse than the hate comments? There's something even worse. Maverick.
He's the type of guy. The Maverick is the type of guy comments are on every single post I post and every story I do. Everything just says Maverick is the type of guy. And I love him. You're just the type of guy. Oh my gosh, is there actually lip balm in that? Yeah. No way. In the top? In the top? Yeah. No. Oh. Wait, what are you freaking out about? What is that? Really? Because everybody says that there's like a tester at the top. I did not know that. Let me read you some of these. No, no, no. We're reading them.
I mean, I guess we can read them now. We're already reading comments. Listen. Maverick is the type of guy that would tell someone who is getting bullied, don't listen to them. I think you're really cool. Wait, what episode was that from? I don't know. These are just ones I screenshotted the other day and put on my story. Exposing the drama. Ready? One, two. Please, I'm calling for a ceasefire with the Maverick's the type of guy comments.
It's too far. They're on every single video we post. That's the only comment. That's not going to do anything. You literally have to say it's affecting my mental health. It's affecting my mental health. Maverick really could not care less. Please stop. No one gives a crap. Okay, thanks. Oh, guys, I got an idea. So let's act like robots and somebody will be the judge of who's the best robot.
This one? What? No. No, we're not going to do that. No, but I'm the best robot. I can tell you. Look, ready? Maverick is the type of guy to go to the shop, apologize for the person in front of him for being rude.
- What? - This one, Maverick is the type of guy to eat something and then start grunting over how good it is. That is not true. - He does that! - I don't do that. - He does that and it drives me absolutely insane. - Stop, you're gonna make people think I actually do that. Oh, yeah, you do that. - You do that. - I don't do that. - You moan when you eat? - He moans. - What, you smack when you eat? - The other day you said that he moaned over a cookie. - No, he didn't. - Listen, he moaned over cookies. - We're sitting there, dead quiet. It's me and him in the kitchen. We're sitting there. He takes a bite of a chocolate chip cookie. No, Snickerdoodles, wait.
No, yeah, it was Snickerdoodles. He takes a bite of a Snickerdoodles cookie and he goes, oh. Are you just making this up? No. That's not true. And then as soon as you did it, I said, why'd you just do that? I said, why'd you just do that? You said, do what? I don't do that. I said, you just moan. I don't do that. No, you do that. Listen. Yes, you do. You moan. You're like, mm. Somebody give him a cookie and let's test it. That's why you can't do a podcast. I've literally seen you doing it eating a burger. Like, you would close your eyes. That's not true.
That is not true. I do not. And that's like, okay, whatever. I mean, I feel you. If it's good, it's good. You know, you got to do what you got to do. This is false. But the one I do not understand is he will just sit there on anything he eats and he'll just be like, that's not true either. No, you know what happened yesterday? Yesterday I was eating. Okay. Cash was like, Kate, can you come up here? And I walk into the room. Maverick had put some Skittles in his mouth and he was like, they were freeze dried Skittles. They were crunchy. And he goes, yeah, I have cavities.
When Matt eats, you would think he's shooting an ASMR video, bro. He's like, whatever. He's like, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. And I was like, nope, I'm not going to even hear if you're going to be doing that. He was like, it literally wasn't even me. It was Josh. Well, you know, at least I don't paint my eyebrows on every morning. I would rather paint my eyebrows on because I can fix my eyebrows, but you can't seem to fix your smacking. Wait, what? Maverick's the type of guy to pick present instead of a here.
Present. He's also the type of guy to...
You think you're funny, huh? To get in the bath and fart at the bubbles. Or laugh at the bubbles that you fart. No, that's him. He'd definitely do that. Dude, I did that in the bathtub with Kate. I fart and bubbles come out. I do it in the hot tub too with you. Remember? No. Remember we were in the hot tub and I was like, man, watch this. And I fart and bubbles come out? I don't remember that. What, you want to get in the hot tub after this? No. I'll show you. Matt's the type of guy to say let's skedaddle when it's time to leave. Matt is the type of guy to bake a pie for the new neighbors.
no i would never make a pie oh you would 100 make a pie why are you bringing why are you bringing them a pie and you'd be like it's the new neighbors that's what you do mom's the type of guy to say at least i'm getting my steps in after walking up a flight of stairs maverick's the type of guy to say it's a great day to have a great day these are
I'm like this like like like cartoon character. You are not a cartoon character. That's the type of guy I put a hat on and say this is right.
Maverick's the type of guy to go to Chick-fil-A. I put this hat on because it's funny. It's a funny hat. You know this hat? A girl gave me this hat, and I was like, you know what? I'll keep it. Maverick's the type of guy to go to Chick-fil-A and say my pleasure to the workers. See how he just slightly tried to flex that he was with a girl? What? That's not true. Maverick's the type of guy to do this on a doorway and say, what's the password? Maverick's the type of guy that will walk off a podcast if we continue this because this is getting...
This is ridiculous. Can we move on? No. We have other stuff to talk about. We have much more important things. Maverick's the type of guy to open his wallet and a fly comes out. Maverick's the type of guy to get in a car and say, buckle up. Whoa. Okay. Okay. Buckle up, buttercup. Maverick's the type of guy to say, take a chill pill when someone's upset. Maverick's the type of guy to make a puppy dog face when he wants something. What's actually making me sad is I do some of these things.
Some of these I do do. I think I've said the buckle up buttercup thing. I think I've said that. Maverick's the type of guy after a breakup to have a flower and go, she loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. Maverick's the type of guy to, like when he farts, a green bubble comes out. What is it with you and farting and poop on your hands? Look at it.
look at what my hands and what happened to you did you do self-tanner yes and i don't have a minute well you failed no only a little yeah it looks good look yeah for sure that's great turn out should i answer this and say three two one live answer what this call we're live oh no i probably oh she's doing it you learn
So I get about five phone calls a day. So no, no, no. That's more than Mav gets. That's not true. No, a minute. I got six missed calls right now from the podcast. No, you don't. Mav is the type of guy to refuse to say that he lost even though he was dead last. Yeah. Yeah, I do that. I got a story about that.
When Mav was in fifth grade. Fifth grade? Are we serious right now? We're going back to fifth grade? That's how often this happens. He has to go all the way back to fifth grade. He was in fifth grade. I was probably in third, you know, living my life. Get in first place. And Mavrick was in like the little fifth grade race at the end of the year. We had like a field day where you can do high jump and a race and like soccer ball kick and like all these things. Mav enters the like
The like 600 yard race or whatever you gotta run to the football field and back and like back and forth like two or three times And he races and he gets fifth place. I got you might be thinking fifth is pretty good. It's not bad There was only five racers So, you know in other words you got last
and you could say that or he comes up and my dad's like i'm sorry bud you got i'm sorry you didn't place and he's like yeah i did and he holds up a ribbon they gave him a fifth place a ribbon all about perspective he's like i got fifth and my dad's like oh no you didn't you got last and he's like no i i got fifth listen the first five people get a ribbon
Who's first five? I was first five. I'm sorry, but what's with that hat? The hat? I'd like to point out that year I did win first in the third grade division. Yeah, you know, I also won first in the high jump, but no one wants to talk about that. In my division, there was only two racers. Oh, we're great. It was only me and my friend Ethan. Ethan's like three feet tall. That doesn't count. I beat him and I got first. Well, congratulations. You beat a guy that I'm pretty...
I'm pretty sure he has a growth deficiency. We were all in third grade. We all had growth deficiencies. No. You were massive. You got my hair. No. Maverick's the type of guy to be happy for a participation award. That is not real. It wasn't a participation award. It was fifth place. But if it was, you would have been happy. That classifies it. A participation award is if everyone gets an award. Try again, sweetheart. Try again. Again, like I said. I get first place that night. You've never gotten first place.
I got first place in the high jump and no one remembers that. No one says a thing about that. No, I can confirm. I've heard this story like five times and I was not aware that you got first place. What place did you get in your dance comp last week? First. Fourth. Oh, God. And he's mad about it. Hey, he's moved up from the fifth grade. He's not the fifth anymore. Mad about that. And you know what I got at the competition before that? Second. Second. Yeah, Mav's always been second best in our lives. You know what I got at the one before that?
First? Second. Hey, who's always been first? And then I got second again. And then I got third. Hey, who's been first though? Not you. You don't enter in anything. What do you mean? Remember our attack with no trophies? I had so many first place. You always had second and third. Again, you were massive.
I'm sorry I was genetically gifted in the third grade. I was tiny. I was a tiny male. Okay, so guess what I had to do? I had to fight tiny people. And you know who was tiny at Taekwondo tournaments? Koreans. So I had to fight actual Koreans, which have been doing this since they were like two years old. They could freaking kick through a wall. No, that is true, bro. Taekwondo, I think it originated from there. And it's... You think? When I had to fight a Korean... Alex, Alex, Alex. Oh.
Oh, every time I had to fight a Korean at the tournament, I knew I'm about to get whooped. This is not going to go good for me. I'm not going to win this. It's true. One time we were at a Taekwondo tournament and my sister, I don't know, she was like probably like 10 or something. Also massive. My family's tall. And she entered in the Taekwondo tournament or whatever. We're all there. And she has to fight someone, but there was no girls for her to fight. So she had to fight a guy.
His cup kept falling out his wife. Yeah, his wife kept falling out. Oh, it's like Like over and over and over again his what happened like three or four times then he just was like jockstrap. What's that? No, it's Just a piece of gear that like protects guys. Oh
Like you were in like football in a bunch of, I don't know. I mean, shin guards? No. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. That's it. That's it. Shin guards. It's pretty much the same thing. Um, yeah. Shin guards. Also out of Taekwondo tournament, my tooth fell out. Oh, I was sitting there on the mat and I were like sitting in the circle. Like some people, some people are competing and I'm just sitting there and playing with my tooth.
I was expecting you to say I got hit in the face and my tooth fell out. No, I was just wiggling on it. Imagine the type of guy to play with his teeth.
He's the one who fell out. Wait, who wants to be the ref of the tournament? What tournament? The robot tournament. That's not happening. I think it is happening. Please. Right now. Matt, bust a move. Bust a move. Come on, Matt. Matt, you dance every night. Parker's the type of girl to say, bust a move. Matt, you dance every night. Just do a robot. I don't do the robot. The best you can get is fourth place out of all of us. Thanks, guys. I know. No, no, no. Hold on. I know good and well.
And the last six months when you've gone dancing, you have done the robot. I have not done the robot. I know at least one time. I was out there. He was like,
Can I get your number now? I know one time that has happened. So let's see it. Do the robot. Yeah, you definitely have done the robot more recently. But you know what I have done? They play this song. The robot. No. Not on the robot. Okay. But they play this song that is like, it's a country song. And he's like, I could settle for your number on a napkin. Did you get a napkin out? I did. I did.
I would say that as a joke. Yeah, I had a napkin in my pocket. And then when we were dancing, I said, I've never felt so sorry for a girl in my entire life. Wait, you had a napkin in your pocket? From when the song came on, because I knew it was going to come on. And you had your phone in your pocket? Yeah. And you said, I could hand her my phone and she could just put her phone number in, but instead I'm going to hand her a napkin. Because it was funny. Did you even have a pen?
No, exactly No, no, yeah, no surprise to that one. Yeah, it was just a joke. It's funny. Clearly it wasn't funny Prepare for it like you're looking in the mirror right before you go. Oh, I need to have that napkin Yeah, I robot dance time you really want to do this just show us your robot, okay So much convincing I think she's practiced or something do you want music I
No, you just gotta do it. Ready? Go. Hold on, let me just get the music. Well, we can't play music. No, no, no, this is not gonna be copyrighted. How do you know that? Because it's her song. Oh, is it your song? What is it? It's on TikTok, right? So it's fine. Am I right? I don't know. I'll sing it for you. Play your song. I'll sing it for you.
Ready ready? One, two, buckle my shoe, three, four. No, it's it's- What? That was horrible. Don't be mad because you messed up. Like you can't do the robot. I don't know what you expected. Like you just expected to suddenly be able to do it?
Trust me, I would be too. Go back to the end of the rainbow. Can somebody please do it before me so I can see it? Yeah. No, I got you. I got you. Kate, go. I'm not doing it. No, no, you got it. I'm the judge. I'm all cozied up under my blanket and stuff. No, go ahead. Do the robot. I'm not doing the robot. Kate, just do the robot. Kate's not doing the robot. It'd be really funny if you did. It would be really funny. It'd really make... Wait, I got this. Hold on.
It'd really make my feelings happy if you did the robot. I don't care. And, okay. Hold on. I got it. It'll hurt my feelings if you don't do the robot. I don't care either.
either. Okay, there we have it, folks. She doesn't care about my feelings. She doesn't care. Listen, I had no intentions of standing up on this episode, which is why... I'm going to take your blanket away if you don't start talking. I have copyright free music. I'm going to take away your blanket if you don't start not acting like a grandma. I just don't want to do the rope. I don't want to. I'm tired and my head hurts. I'm tired and my head hurts. Like, bro, talk like a normal person.
I'm not going to yell right now like the rest of you. No one's saying yell. Just talk with like... I am talking with like... That is not a normal volume.
What are you talking about? I feel like I'm literally talking like... Alex, can you hear me from across the room? No, he said no. Alex said no. Alex literally just shook his head yes. What a liar. Alex is a Samsung user, okay? We don't ask him questions. Alex is a former Samsung user. Yeah, former as in the last six months, so that's still a Samsung user. I feel like y'all were like, alright, I'm tired of making fun of Maverick, let's pick on Kate. Right? And I kept my mouth shut the whole time. Wait, please somebody... Yeah, Kate, go. Come on. Why don't you do it? Ugh!
- I can't do the robot. - Why? - 'Cause he's big. - Yeah. - I look awkward when I do that. - Fine, fine. I got this, I got this. - Like a giraffe. - So basically I'm just gonna put this here so nobody can hear it, but y'all can. - Okay. - Do you need the music to do it? - All right, here she goes. See, failed again. All right, third time's the charm. That's actually not the robot. - That was like, I don't know what to say to that. - That was like crippled grandma in the nursing home.
Now have you ever seen those grandmas when they're when they're walking? No, that's you. Yeah, you're definitely You look like you look you look like you're freaking out Like when I tell those sales people know that come to my door you ever seen dancing with the stars I feel like I just watched Tank in real time No, I don't think you should try sitting down. Okay. She's trying sitting down
You're barely moving. You're just going... Y'all ever seen the squirrel on Hoodwinked? No. Wait, hold on, hold on. You've never seen the squirrel on Hoodwinked? I don't know the squirrel specifically. Have you seen Hoodwinked? I guess I haven't, no. Well, that's a shame, but she's the squirrel from Hoodwinked. Look at her practicing. It's a good party trick. What does he say? He's always like...
no caffeine or something like that cappuccino now it's y'all's turn shut up oh i'm sorry um now it's y'all's turn to try the robot no i think it's i think time to end the podcast no no dude like why she's a headache maybe i'm code you know uh speaking of dancing i went dancing this last weekend in austin and wait hold up who was speaking oh we were speaking of dancing never mind yeah
Of the robot. You may find this crazy, but so I'm at the social, and so we're all dancing, and this champion dancer comes in, and like world-class dancer, and I'm like, I got to dance with him. Is he world-class? He's world-class, like top tier. Is he, though? Oh, he is. He is, and I'm like, okay. So then my friend is like, you got to go ask him to dance with you. What? What?
Yeah, so that was my thing. I was like, I can't ask a dude to dance. Like, I can't walk up to a dude and be like, would you like to dance? No, let me tell you something. You cannot do that. I can't do that. And if this story ends in that, then you're out. I didn't go to this one. It would feel so wrong, right? No, no, no. It would make me uncomfortable. No, Mav, it wouldn't feel so wrong. It is so wrong. It would just make me uncomfortable to, like, dance with another guy. Yeah. Right? Yeah, it probably should. You would look gay. Well, listen, so...
so i'm sitting there wait look at this wow you killed that so you can do the robot guys hey arbor wait let me see let me see so like my friend twists my head okay yeah let me see let me see this thing let me let me we can never tell a story on this podcast guys okay wow yeah someone actually asked me she was they were like why can you never finish any story on the podcast like
Because of that face. That's the reason we can't finish. Harper, sit down. You know, you know when you have a pet, that's like, you know, that friend that brings their dog over and mid-conversation they're always like, oh, I gotta let my dog out. Yeah. That's her. Should I do the worm? Should we do the worm competition? No. I bet nobody can do it. This
You're wrong. I can, first of all. I can really actually do the worm. You cannot do the worm, guys. I can do the worm. You can do like the slug. He looks like a slug. Okay. Do the worm, okay? And then I'll do it. I'm not doing the worm. I never said I could do the worm. Why are you here? Why are you here? Do the worm. If you don't want to be here, you don't got to come. You're just taking up a seat.
There's somebody that would want to be here. You know all the people in the comments that I see? Oh, I'd love to be on the pod. Not her. I do love being on the podcast. I just have a headache right now. So you can't do the worm? I have lights in the room. I don't understand what a headache has to relate to the worm. I don't want to do the worm right now because my head hurts. You don't do anything I say. Why are you here?
I'm not doing it first because I went first for the robot last time. Yeah, so it's Kate's turn. I'm not doing the worm. Why are you doing this to me? All right, fine, fine. I'll do the worm first and then you go second. I'm not doing it. I'll go second. I never claimed I could do the worm.
Kat really wants to do the worm. No. Yeah. No, no. I didn't want to do the worm, but now I've moved on to something else. Oh, I can do the worm. And I will still do the worm. But I genuinely feel like everybody took it as a joke. No, you're going to forget about the worm. No, no. But hold on. Genuinely, like, you know, cameras off. Like, why are you here? Oh, my gosh. Like, she doesn't want to do anything. No, no, no. Kat's going harder than the comments. No, not like that. Like.
You don't want to talk. Why am I here? Because we scheduled this filming date a couple weeks ago. Is that the only reason? You said, on January 17th at 4.15pm we're going to shoot the podcast. I said, okay. But that's the only reason you're here? I was fine. And then my head started hurting. My head hurt this morning. She's here for the money. That is not true. She's here for the money. I'm not paying her today. Oh.
No, buddy. That is not true. So what does that look like? She goes in there to cook and you're like, well, I didn't buy groceries. Yeah. No, sometimes she stars me. What are you talking about? No, it's true. All right, worm time. Worm time. I told you you would forget about it. Wait, am I getting hamburger tonight? Oh, my God.
I don't know what you're getting tonight. Well, what are we having? Dude, do the worm thing. No. Dude, the worm. The vibe's ruined. I mean, I can go back to talking about the guy. I have a headache. I'll do the worm. I'll do the worm. Dude, cash. Don't worry. I'll do the worm to brighten the mood. You know that I've been getting these headaches like crazy for the last few weeks. I have a headache. You've got a sinus infection, silly. What? You have a sinus infection. No. You've been diagnosed. It's not a sinus infection. How do you know it's not?
Because I know. Are you pregnant? No, I'm not pregnant either. I heard pregnancy leads to headache. Cash. Cash. Mav, hold up, Mav. We are in a very serious conversation. Kate might be pregnant and I might be a dad. I have a headache, though. Can you be quiet? I'm not pregnant. Sorry, I might have got Mav pregnant. My head is pounding from your talk. Hey, yo. Hey. Oh, wait. Sorry. I meant you might have been pregnant. I'm not pregnant. Are you about to eject? Oh, she is. Oh, yeah. Were you going to? No, I was going to do the worm.
She's in like a completely different conversation right now. It seems like everyone's in a completely different mood today. Everyone's in their own conversation. Like no one's talking clearly. If nobody does a worm by the end of this video. The conversations that are happening is wild. I don't know. She's like in the granny mood. Headache. Everybody be quiet. Dim the lights. A heartburn is a dog. Maverick just wants to talk about dancing. That's not true. And then there's me. I feel like I'm the only one present today. And I'm just making out.
And then there's me. Hi, I'm Cash Baker. Cash Baker. Yeah, that's right. I think I'm the main character. So I try to talk over the whole podcast. And anytime someone wants to say something, I like to just interrupt their stories and do my own thing, you know? And then anytime somebody insults me, I insult my wife. Hey, be quiet. You're a woman. Don't speak. So listen, you know?
I'm Cash Baker and um This is my story This is how I got started Everyone this is my moment I'm talking right now Kate can you Can you not be a pig Like what are you doing Like what are you doing I almost forgot you were playing a character My husband See I bet you there's gonna be no comments about my feelings Kate I'm gonna steal your blanket
You forgot about the big part where he says, y'all are famous because of me. Wait, hold on. I only said that once. And that was only relative because remember you were trying to make me mad? I was? Yeah. I didn't know you said that to me. That's freaked up. It was in that episode where you were trying to purposely make me mad. Oh. And then you really got mad.
But do y'all want to see me do the worm? Yes. Oh my gosh. Yes, I've been waiting. I've been dying. I've been crying so bad to see you do the worm. Me and Matt were just waiting at the door like, I can't wait for Harper to get here and do the worm. Well, I made my own show to do the worm. Do the worm right now. Because y'all are so ungrateful. No, no. We're thrilled. We are so grateful. Harper, are you seeing a smile on my face?
No, I'm going to make a show. No, you're not. What do you mean you're going to make a show? I'm going to make a show for the viewers out there. So comment down below if you want to see me do the worm at my own show. Okay. Generally, to all the viewers out there right now that are watching, I'm so sorry for this episode.
Why? Because it's randomness. It has been so random. There's not been one. There's not been 15 seconds of consistency. Like, at the end of this episode, if you ask what we talk about, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what we've talked about.
Nothing. Maverick's the type of guy that's about it. Yeah, we did the hate comments in the beginning. Oh, that was the very beginning. So what have we talked about since then? But we already talked about the hate comments for a while. Yeah, we talked about the hate comments for a minute. And then people said that I've been digging in my feet. Time! Are y'all just realizing how your podcast typically goes? Yeah.
It's not typically like this. Yes, it is. No. What? Not this bad. My podcast, our podcast is very planned out. We put a lot of pre-work into it. We're at 37 minutes. We do a lot of what? We put a lot of pre-work in. That is a straight lock. Everybody. Yeah. It's like five minutes before. Hold on to your seatbelts. No. No. You better do the worm at least. Buckle up, buttercup. You better at least do the worm.
You should have jumped into the worm. That would have been so cool. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, it should be like a roll out into the worm. I'll try. I don't know how this is going to go. Yeah, but you got to do a roll with it. You got to like flow. You got to like roll. Like a roll, you know, like a roly poly. Can you try to roll out of the chair first? Do you know what a roly poly does?
Yeah. Yeah, so do a rolly polly. What, you want me to do it to see if I get hurt and see if it's safe? Like, no, I'm not going to do that. Please. She's like, Maverick, you put your safety on the line and try it. Yeah. First you can't do the rolly polly, then you do the warm. There's literally not enough room for you.
you're so big you're like huge don't listen to them honey i'm just joking you're a tiny little boy i don't that what are you wanting to hear that's it oh god oh wow you look the longest he's ever been quiet hey oh there it goes wait do you guys get do you guys get this
I don't know. Who are you trying to be? You don't get that? It's like when girls get mad at their boyfriends in the car and they turn their legs away from them. Yeah, it's like when your girlfriend gets mad at you or whatever and they're like, I never had that happen to me. Well, you've never had girlfriends. I have lots of girlfriends. Well, you probably never noticed because they were always in this position. They just never said like that. They never turned around to you. All right, let me do it now. Roly-poly. Worm. Oh, wait, I went way too far. Well, that's what we said would happen. I got to keep it right here.
Oh, wait, hold on. Do you start with your head or your legs? Your legs up and then... His legs? Or you do a handstand and go down into the worm. Is the legs or head? Whatever you prefer right now. I just want it to be over. This is creepy. Hey, just do something! Right now you're looking like a dead worm! You know those worms that got scorched by the sun in the middle of summer? Yeah.
Everything just popped in his body. Very impressive. I didn't know you had it in you. All right, I can do this better. First of all, it's not a competition. It's about to be. You're going to come in second. Listen, I just... She did it from standing, and you're going backwards.
You're not supposed to go back. I would say Harper definitely did it better. She did exactly what I did. And did you miss the roly-poly part? Fine. I thought hers was kind of cooler. She like jumped into it. Yeah. What is on the side of your chair? I think it's poop from a recent user. We got this off Facebook Market. Somebody has poop on their hand. I'm not pointing any fingers. That was the ultimate hate comment.
Oh gosh, that did not sound good. That sounded a little rough there. Are you okay? That did not sound good at all. I just really cracked every bone in my body. Yeah, we heard. We heard everything. No, but I'm first, right? I hate this episode. You want me to finish my story and then we can end it? No. I smell like self-tan. Don't even finish the story. Kate, you tell a story.
Tell us. You look like somebody that's about to read a bedtime story. Okay. Let's see. Once upon a time. I smell like self-tanner right now because I like. No, no, no. All right. Go ahead, Kate. Once upon a time. Wait, we should do that. We should do that where we like write a story. No, no. Yeah, we're doing that right now. That's not happening. Why? No, no. We're not bouncing all over the place. Oh. So tell a story. Once upon a time. And then? And then what happened? Wait, wait, wait.
Maverick went to the dance club. No, this is not an Indian that you want to be smiling at. What? Oh, I lost my cap. Your cap fell off. Nope, nope, nope, you don't. Guys, okay, fun fact. When I was in high school... No, this is the story. Oh my gosh, we can't stick on a strip. This is the story. But you gotta tell it like a story. Okay, once upon a time, I was in high school. And I was like, oh, Cash, you didn't go to high school. Let's go to a football game. So we go to a football game.
This girl, I barely knew the girl. She was like touchy-touchy with cash. I was like, ew. Listen, it's hard for girls to resist. Big toe number two. She listened. This girl was touchy-touchy, but I said, okay, whatever. You're obviously just like...
Not all there, right? Like, clearly I'm the girlfriend here, but whatever. You're not all there. I'll let it slide. So then she, like, I remember she talked about you. And then, like, one time we went to dinner and she was there and she was, like, yelling across the table. She's like, Cash, Cash, Cash, Cash, Cash, look at this. Cash, Cash. Like, trying to flirt with him. I was like, Cash.
I was like, hey, babe, remember me? The girlfriend? Yeah. It still didn't say anything. I was like, clearly you're not all there, right? Well, you're just a girlfriend. Oh, okay. I thought you didn't mean to say what you were saying. Just because there's a girl. Something was going on in her head. She went all the way. No, no, no. She was just not... She very clearly just didn't respect relationships. Well, you were just a girlfriend.
You made it sound like she was mental. No. Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score. Well, when that girl was trying to score, that is not appropriate. Anyways, here's the problem. Then I find out... That was a joke. That was a joke. That was a joke. What did you say? Nothing.
You said something. Go ahead. What was said? What was said, Joe? She just whispers to me from time to time. Very. Anyways, one time, then Maverick's like, oh, guys, I danced with this girl at the dance club. So fun. Like, she was such a good dancer. I was like, oh, who was she? It was the girl that was all over Cash. No.
Throughout high school. And I was like... I didn't know any better. I said... I was like, oh, like, you danced with her? Like, yeah. Was she, like, extremely touchy with you in a weird way? And he was like, no, like, I didn't notice anything about her. Well, he doesn't normally have that effect on women like I do. Is he? That's not really true. No, here's the thing. Is this girl...
I had said that she was off. My brother had said she was off. All of my friends had said she was off. And Maverick's like, she's so normal. I was like, okay, well, just don't bring her over to our house because she's like touchy with my husband. Yeah, but don't bring her over. Anyways, that was just a random story. Yes, sir. Stop. Well, my story was last week in Austin, there was the champion dancer guy there. And I was like, I can't ask this guy to dance.
I was like, I can't. I forgot we were on this. Yeah. I was like, I can't. That's just like weird to walk up to a dude and ask him. Yeah. For your sake, I don't know if I'd finish the story. So my friends are like, no, like he does the lead and follow both. Like he's like extremely good. Like he's the best. First of all, I just hope you know, it's not called lead and follow. It's called male and female. No, it's called lead and follow. No, it's male and female roles. It's called lead and follow. No, it's called the guy part and the girl part. It's.
I mean, it's called lead and follow, but sure. Okay, but for the people that don't know anything about dancing, the guy part and the girl part. Sure.
sure i mean if you want to call it that so so i'm like i'm like well i i can't i can't and um i had already danced with his girlfriend that week she's a champion dancer too she's amazing see that's the other thing that's weird yeah that is about dancing is they're all they're always like like married couples dancing with other people like that's weird it's just dancing it doesn't it's not like it's not just dancing oh no it's just dancing if i was dancing with a
It's not assault. It's definitely not that. If I was dancing... Well, I don't know. When Kate dances, it doesn't look exactly... Kate dancing is a crime. It looks closer to that than dancing. I don't know. Wait, but like, did you know Cash, he... What's it called? There's no way right now. No, he... She doesn't even know what she's going to say about me. She's just going to try to insult me. It was at VidCon or something.
You've never you were like nine years old and and um he he he he got like this like 25 year old girl with the with a
Anyways where was the story originally oh we got a player my bag in no do we really have to do No, you know it's funny I was 13 at the time You were like nine yeah, I think we should start where you played the girl part I
No, I think that's where this story was going. I was like, I was like, I was, my friend Elise was like, no, you have to, you have to dance with him. And I'm like, I'm like, I can't, I can't do it. So I was like, all right, I'll talk to him. So you put on your big girl britches. Yeah. So I'm talking to him for something and said, no, I was just talking. I do the girl part. Why you do the man part? I was talking to him. And why are you manhandling me? And then we're talking about dancing. He was like, yeah, let's dance. So I was like, all right, cool. So he did the girl part.
Oh. And I did the guy part, but he... Wait, so you acknowledge that it's the girl and the guy part? Yeah, well, for right now, just for the sake of this conversation. He did the girl part. I did the guy part. Bro, this guy was the best...
Doing the girl part in the entire place better than all the girls. He he was so good. His connection was amazing It was crazy. Well connection Wow Your connections were crazy No, it's connection. I genuinely hope you never go dancing again. Oh my gosh You just came home and said me and this guy's connection was amazing. Oh
Is no one else alarmed about this? This guy was so good at the girl part. Make a hand like this.
No, I don't think you want to touch these. That's not helping. What the? Bro, I don't care which one your hand is. That is weird. This connection right here is where everything comes from. Yeah, that's what I'm worried about, man. I'm worried about this connection right here. I don't think he wants to touch these hands of mine. It's like this connection right here is where our relationship began. No, no. I'm not saying that. Not a connection like that. Alright.
When you dance, you have to counterbalance each other. So I'm calling it counterbalancing. It's holding hands. No, it's like fingertips. Like this. It's fingertips. Tips is still holding hands. That is holding hands. It's like romantic. Especially, you said hold your hand like this. No, he did that. He said my hand was like this. No, my hand's sideways.
sideways i'm sideways hand okay even if it was this way there's no way a guy did that there's no way a guy did that like y'all overthinking this a lot hold my hand i just can't believe you followed it up with in our connection was so great no i've never had a connection the connection that like when use a different word bro
Use anything! The freaking... It's not chemistry. Don't use chemistry. No, no, it's not like that. It's literally a connection. I don't know what else you call it. The magnification. A link. Like, I could feel where he was at. Oh my God. Okay, okay. Never mind. I'm not winning this. I'm not winning this. I'm not winning this. I scrapped the episode. Just scratch the whole episode, please.
Okay. So basically, he's saying that he needs... I'm not talking anymore. I apologize for all of my laughter, Matt. Please, please tell the story and I won't say a word. I'm not continuing. Don't say that when you can't really stick to that. Well...
I'll try. So, go ahead. Say a word. No, I'm done. No, I really wanted... Listen. I think we all know where this is going. Point is... I know exactly where it's going. He pulled out a napkin and gave it to the guy. That's exactly where it was going. So, point is, our connection was so good that blindfolded, I would be able to tell where his feet are at. I'd be able to tell everything from just the fingertips because the connection is so good. He's just a great dancer. Mm-hmm.
I just love looking at his toes because I wanted to connect. What? What? I'm done. I'm done. No, this podcast is over. Yeah, this podcast is over. I hope you guys had a great connection today. We'll see y'all next time. Bye.