Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
And there's like security guards out there. Yeah, they had like multiple staff. There was more than one laugh. There was like ten people out there that were like, "Oh, no." Yeah, we're like, "Oh, no." What's up guys? We're gonna be playing Try Not To Laugh. So, who wants to start? I start. Okay. Wait, do I ask the question or do I laugh? No, you put water in your mouth. Oh. Alright, Mav, ask the question. Wait, shouldn't multiple people have water in their mouth?
Should we all three do it? Yeah, I think it makes more sense to have three people have water in their mouth and one person telling the joke. Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. Y'all go. I'll tell the jokes. Okay, perfect, perfect. Or should Joe tell the jokes? Joe didn't prepare for this. He doesn't have the jokes. Yeah. Oh. Okay, fair enough. I'll tell them. All right, everybody get water in your mouth and then put your microphone away so you don't spit on it. This one was yours for sure. It's closer. No, I swear that one.
Dude, it doesn't matter who it is, you guys. Just drink it. I don't want cooties. Guys, y'all's mics are away from your mouth. No one can hear you. I think I'm the only person someone can hear. Wait, move your mic even farther. Okay. So you're gonna say the jokes? Yeah. Alright, last one. Keep the water in their mouth wins. And I didn't even start. Yo, she's gonna bust right now. She's literally about to explode. Nope, it came out. She's about to blow up. Yo, we didn't start. We didn't start. We didn't start.
Get off the floor, Kate! You swallowed it! You lost! What the... His game sucks. His game actually sucks. We didn't even start yet, guys. Harper, what's going on? She's trying to swallow. She's choking. Oh, no. She's dying. All right, can we start now? Where are you going? Did you just go to the bathroom? I think she was going to fix her makeup. No, she went to go get a towel. Okay, all right, let's start. Did you see me?
Put the water in your mouth. Put the water in your mouth. Let's go. Wait, so I have to put water in my mouth again? Yes. This game sucks. I'm going to lose. No, you're fine. All right. Everyone ready? Matt, move your mic away so you don't spit on it. All right, here we go. Mm-hmm. Did you hear the circus? Mm-hmm. Did you hear the circus was in town? Mm-mm. Mm-mm. It was intense. That was so funny. That was... That really got me, Cash. Yo. Yo.
Oh, I've been waiting to do that It was usually me going after math but all right now move your mic farther away I
Mm-hmm farther away. Mm-hmm. Can I get a point for my name? Even farther? I won that round. You're still gonna spit on me. Can we all acknowledge that I won? Okay, sure Kit you won. Alright ready? Next one. What was Forrest Gump? That's so funny! You really got me dude! Y'all, let's... Okay, okay, I'm done. Let's play please! And that's two points for Kate. Yes Kate, you got two points! Okay?
Here we go! Alright! They made a truce. Here we go! What's Forrest Gump's Facebook password? I don't know what she's saying. 1FORREST1 No? Okay. I like the way we played the game better. Oh, was I supposed to have the water still in my mouth? Did you not have water in your mouth? I took a drink. No, put water in your mouth. How does a taco say a prayer?
Let us pray. She's about to go. Kate, don't laugh. Let us pray, really? Yeah, this always makes Kate laugh. Ready, guys? Ready? Kate, look at me. No, you have to look at me. You have to look at me. It's part of the game. Look at me. There's no way. That was the weirdest coming out, too. Oh, what the? What was that? Matt, you swallowed it again. I wouldn't.
If you're going to talk, put the mic to your face. All right. Here we go. Wait. Why can't I just swallow the water before I start laughing? That's not part of the game. All right. You're out. You're out. Mav and Harper. It's you two left. Okay. All right. Harper's still got it in her mouth. All right. Ready? A guy walks into a bar. He was disqualified from the limbo contest. Okay. I think only Mav's going to get this one. Why was Brittany Griner nervous in the locker room when she heard a sound? Because she thought it was Putin. Who is Putin?
Anyways, nobody gets okay these dad jokes are not dad joking. Um, I'm out Do something funny Oh my god, I can't do something funny to make y'all laugh like she can All right first one to spit on the other one wins
Oh, okay. No, you lost, you lost, you lost, you lost, you lost. He didn't have any water in his mouth! I did, I just wasn't gonna spit a lot. I lost? Yeah, you lost, he spit on you. Okay, alright, somebody else say one. I got y'all. I think that's enough of the games. I wanna do it one time, but let's hurry. So do you wanna put the water in your mouth? Yeah, I'm gonna put water in my mouth. Y'all teep messing around, messing up my game. Y'all teep messing around. He says teep. Teep. What? Okay, okay, ready? I like it.
I like a man who don't know English. All right. All right. Ready? Everybody put water in your mouth. Move your mic. I feel like an actual celebrity with a microphone. Oh, question time. Somebody's angry. Wow, I hold all the power here. I am the only one who can talk right now. No, I can't talk like this. Okay. Okay. What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Is lunch time? No. No.
Oh, lunch is on me. Dinner is on me. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What? Why is your wife so awkward? I feel like I should be probably like a person who does stand-up comedy. Oh my gosh, he's grouchy today. Did you, uh... Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can? Yeah, he was lucky it was a soft drink.
Oh my gosh. Okay, okay. Did y'all hear that rumor about butter? Well, I'm not gonna be the one to spread it. Harper's not breaking. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Could it be over? No. Ketchup. Why would you say it like that? Why are you actually laughing at these jokes?
Okay, that's enough of that game. Yeah, that... I thought they were going to be funnier. Did you have any funny ones, Matt? I mean, they're dad jokes. They're not actually funny. Okay, if anybody has a funny one, can you just say it? Because I was really looking forward to a funny dad joke. I had a funny one. Right now, I think mine's the best. I really want to move on. I don't really like the dad joke thing. Yeah, but do you have one funny one?
Yeah, we had some funny ones. Me and Harper came up with some. Yeah, I don't really like that game. Okay, I'm sorry, guys. I didn't see anybody else recommending games to play. Because he literally spit on me. You don't know what's been in that mouth, boogers. That is true. Yeah. I've seen him. I've seen him do it in 4K. I have a question. I saw your TikTok the other day. You got banned.
What'd you do? What did you do? I literally didn't do anything. I love TikTok creators. I know you did something. I love the TikTok creators of this, the app, but like, why did you do that to me? The creators of TikTok? Oh, you mean like the people who own it? They banned you? Well, what'd you do? I did nothing. You did something. I know you did something because today I went to go help you get your YouTube plaque.
And I log in. I log in and it says, this account has been associated with other accounts that have been suspended. What? How many YouTube accounts you had that have been suspended? And what have you done? So they were like, you're ineligible for a plaque because you've been suspended on too many accounts. So I can't get a plaque? Yeah.
Oh, is this new news to you? We're reaching out to try to see if there's something we can do about it. But yeah, they said that you've been a bad, bad person. Dude, why is Harper's Heart breaking? I'm nothing but the best creator. Then why'd you get banned from YouTube too? Multiple times. I didn't know I got banned from YouTube. Yeah, he said multiple bans.
Well, if I'm going to be honest here. Don't make something up. Yeah, I was about to make something up. Well, yeah, that's like. What kind of stuff do you post on YouTube that's banable? Well, I used to go live on YouTube, but then maybe that's why. But I literally did nothing except for sing songs.
That is a crime. That's a crime. That'll do it. I mean, harbor singing, nobody wants to hear that, man. Yo, some of the people were hard on you in the comments. Yeah, they're like, they're like, they're like, yeah, harbor singing, but Mavericks and that little, like, that little symbol, like the boom, boom,
Yeah, which I didn't even like sing. Oh, yeah. I know. I know which one you're talking about because I saw all the comments. No, I saw it. All right. Thanks for letting me tell my story. Yeah. And one of the episodes, Harper sang and Mav sang for like 0.1 second. He literally just went like... Like, I was just kind of off in my own world just singing for a second. Yeah, he was like barely paying attention. He was just like... And that was it.
And everybody's- all the comments were about Mav singing, not Harper's. I was like, "Oh!" Can you give us a solo? Yes! You were singing- No! No, no, no! Singing contest! Mav, you were singing "If She Loves You," so just sing that again. Oh yeah, yeah. Sing it. How does that song go? If she gives you her heart, don't you break? Alright, go. I don't think I can sing that song very well. Can I pick a song? No. Pick a song, but then Harper's gonna go and we're gonna let the comment- I'm not going. How about you? Yes, you are. And we're gonna let the comment section vote who's better. What's the next line?
If she gives you her heart, don't you break it. Let her arms be a place she feels safe. If she gives you her heart, don't you break it. What's the next line? Let her arms, let your arms be a place she feels safe. This is going to be a hard competition. Let your arms be a place she feels safe. Let your arms be the place she feels safe. Oh, that was bad. Oh, that was bad. I think you got this one in the bag. Oh, no.
I think you got it in the bag. What song? Sing the same song. Please blow them out of the water. I didn't know the song either. That was very mid. I don't know that song. I didn't know the song either. Sing any song. Oh, I know which one you can do. That sounds like when you would hit.
It's the new. Oh, is that that? Yeah. I didn't know what he was saying. Wait, wait. No, that that that is not. Wait. No, I can't do that. You know, do you remember when Ariana Grande and Victorious, she was sick and she couldn't talk. Catch. So she was like, he didn't say. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sing that.
My gosh, wait, that's the hardest just sing any song any song bro. This is some bears. Can you sing it first? Absolutely not. I'm not a singer, bro. Can you sing who didn't say I couldn't see that's great. I think you might No, I'm trying to think like what was the worship song we were singing earlier when I fight Whoa
Oh, okay. No, you won. You won. Harper, you are literally killing me right now. You actually are literally a singer. Yeah. Just sing the song he just said. What? Oh. No, I just. If she gives you her heart, don't you break it. Sing that line. What? What's it? If she gives you her heart, don't you break it. Yeah, just sing that. Go.
Okay, uh, I do like any in any tune I guess just sing it okay um my gosh like if she just I'm really gonna kick you off just gonna be invited back this you want me to play for you yeah Actually really good at ukulele recently Oh
- Bro, bro, you jumped. - He got my thumb. - He jumped. - He got my thumb. - Okay, so if she gives you her, wait, I don't know how to play. - Oh my goodness. Do you need, she needs to hear it. - Hey, what's the ukulele song? - The, ♪ Take me down to the riptide ♪ ♪ Take me down to the riptide ♪ ♪ Take me away to the dark side ♪ - All right, ready? Go, I'm gonna play "Uke." - Wait, hold on. Wait, how do you? - Okay, no, please stop that. How about one more time? - Nope. - I can't even sing to that.
This is how you can sing it all if you don't see the next two seconds. I don't know what I'm gonna do but just um um um um one two uh Hit the one two buck on my shoe
- One, two. - No, but sing it. - Oh, like in a good voice? - Yeah. - Yes. - Okay. ♪ One, two, buckle my shoe ♪ ♪ Three, four, buckle some more ♪ ♪ Five, six ♪ - That is crazy. - Yeah, it's just crazy. - No, I can't do it. - That's all it took was me saying, "Sing one, two, buckle your shoe." - Yeah, that's better, 'cause like-- - Wow. - That was your motivation, huh? - Yeah. - I've never actually been more angry in my life than Justin. - I know. - I saw your face, I was like,
No, I meant because you want to sing. Me and Kouch have literally, like, we have wished upon the stars way too many times that we could sing. But you can. No, we can't. I mean, we have a singing career, but we can't really sing. We really can't sing. Like, if we could sing like that, game over. Is it just the auto-tune? Game changer. I can't even sound good on auto-tune. Wait, can't, like, actually, should I, like, write a song?
Yes. I don't know about that. Write your own lyrics. I don't know if she should do that. Write a Christmas song. It'll come out at Christmas. Okay? Wait, that's a good idea. No, it's not. Okay. Anyways. No, but like, I feel like when little kids like make up their own songs, it's like, like, you know, like Piper Rock Hell and like, she had a good song, but like, or I don't really know. Or like JoJo Siwa. I'm a comeback boomer. Like,
I don't, like, really know. That song was a bad one. Wait, so what are you trying to say, Harper? Like, I feel like it's just, like, cringy to make it as a little kid, you know? Like, it just doesn't sound like... So you agree you're a little kid? Yeah. She's only 14. Big L. I'm only 14. Leave. Can you stop doing those? Yeah, it's my favorite thing to do. I love talking like that. Like, my brother asked me a question, and I'm like, something's off here. And he gets...
It gets mad. Something's a little off. That's my favorite thing to do. I love doing that. What, Maverick? What? It's disturbing. Matt thinks he's too cool to talk like an anime character. You guys watch anime? No, but I just assume that's what they talk like. I'm so defensive about that. No, I don't watch anime. What even is that? Never heard of that. Actually, what is anime? I've never watched Hunter x Hunter or Seven Deadly Sins or anything like that. No.
Oh, so he does watch anime. No, I was acting like you guys. But how do you know the show? I can tell you the name of the show, Pikachu. It's not a show. It's called Pokemon.
at least you're getting defended kind of you know did you hear this anime kid it's pokemon yeah someone got really defensive the only anime show i know is spongebob oh we just went to cancun it was good until we almost got kicked out of the hotel yeah we were really sorry to this lifeguard was yelling at us
And I was with my friend. We're just trying to have fun, dog. I was with my friend who is a bad influence friend. You know, those type of friends. Yeah. I'm that friend. Shout out, Park. And...
We're out there swimming and we're going like far out trying to go as far out as you can but the waves were big because the waves were big out there really yeah, but we could still touch That's scary though Not when the waves came the waves were like You couldn't touch and then you could Yeah No, you know when the waves like take you out with them and then you go like that's like the scariest part Anyways, we're out there and we hear the lifeguard going
How did you do that? Get back, get back. Or whatever, right? And he's like, gosh, just ignore him. He'll go away. Yeah, so we just pretended like the lifeguard wasn't there. You're right, Parker. He'll just go away. And then we just sweat him. And the whole time, he's just like...
Now granted, also remember, it's me, Cash, Parker, Michael, and Kate out there. Yeah, there's five of us. So we're like, if we all... Ignore him. Ignore him, we're fine. Yeah, or not ignore him. We're just like, we're far out. We'll just pretend like we're not hearing him. And then we'll have an excuse. He'll quit eventually. Like, how long is this man really gonna blow a whistle? And I kept telling Cash. I was like, Cash, we gotta go back. And he was like, just ignore him. He'll go away. Yeah, he did not go away. No, he did not. We get back to the shore.
And this man is, well, no, we turn around and there's like security guards out there. There was more than one. There was like 10 people out there. We're like, Oh no, there's guys that, you know, the, the wires going up to their ears. And we were like, Oh no. And we get up there. All five of us walk up there. Okay. Me, cash, Kate, Michael and Parker. Yep.
they only targeted the men they let tate walk right off they you know they my brother wasn't even though like my brother wasn't even in the water actually my brother was on shore yeah and the lifeguard was yelling at my brother he was like tell them to come in and michael was like come in guys but like we were ignoring him and so i was out there and when i come back in the lifeguard like points to my brother i'm standing right next to him and he goes you get over here when i was the one that was just out the water he was like i was on the beach bro and they're like
You, you're good. You can go. You're a girl. That's a good thing about being a girl. They were mad. All of them were mad, but the lifeguard, the original one, was very mad. He was so mad, he didn't even talk to us. He just went on his lifetime, and he was like, oh! Yeah, he didn't talk once we got out of the water. And then they made us sign this piece of paper that said if we get one more complaint or whatever, or we do one more thing, that we're kicked out.
yeah but like parker parker kept arguing with him he was like he was like so if i sign this i can swim out as far as if i sign this i can swim as far as i want they're like no no no he's like that's what i'm signing right and they barely speak english yeah yeah that's what i would do and then kate kate comes comes in with some heat didn't expect this yeah dude i've never seen kate troll people never seen her troll what happened
I thought it was a silly situation. I thought it was silly. It was funny. I thought we were having fun. Everybody except for the lifeguard was having fun. She's standing there. And so she finally comes over to the group and she's like, what's going on? And they're like. As if I wasn't the one just out there. And they're like, they can't be swimming out there. They heard the whistle and they weren't coming back. And Kate goes, oh, I thought they were just cheering us on.
I've just never seen Kate. And the guy just looks at her like, what an idiot. Oh my God. He's like stupid American. I just never really see Kate be funny like that. Yeah, it was remarkable. All of us guys looked at her. We were like, bravo. She made a joke. Women do make jokes. I'm the most unfunny person ever. You are. You said it yourself. She said, no, she did. She was like, I don't have, every week when we post the podcast,
We have clips that we all post on TikTok. She did say that. No, they always say Harper and Kate are the most iconic people ever.
Listen, if my name was Harper, I'd say that too. No, we all have our three funny clips. And every week, we're struggling to find one for Kate to post on TikTok. We're struggling. I'm just not funny on the podcast. I know. I said I need to leave the podcast. No. I can't be alone. It's the LOL podcast. And apparently, I'm not making anybody laugh. You're not doing none of the LOL. You're just the podcast. We're the LOL. The SOS podcast.
That's what it'll turn into if I leave. Sad of souls podcast. Sad of souls. Save our souls. Save our souls podcast. Okay, Kate, this is your prime time. We're going to give you a clip. This is going to be your clip on TikTok and everywhere else to post. Make a clip. Guys, don't put me on the spot like this. Now make a clip. Nope. Just do something for me. She's letting us down again. If you're not going to get a clip now, you're not going to give them the rest of the episode. Y'all make me mad. Oh.
Y'all make me mad, okay? I can't be funny on the spot. Like, I'm sweaty. I'm getting nervous trying to think of a joke. Like, no way. Nervous? There's five people in this room and four of them are us. I know, but then, like, people online are gonna watch this. Don't worry, nobody watches your clips anyway. Oh my gosh! I'm gonna walk off now. Nobody watches them because there's nothing to watch, okay? That's why I'm trying to give you a chance here. Well, like, I can't just be funny on the spot.
Just do something. You can't be funny off the spot. So we're trying to do you on the spot. But like I was... Guys...
Okay, okay. At least just say something. Watch this, watch this. Cash, this is your chance. We're gonna give you a clip. I thought you were gonna do it. We're gonna give you a clip right now. I thought you were gonna do it. Be funny right now. This is your shot. Be funny. This is your clip. If you know, you're gonna disappoint everyone. If you're not funny right this second, everyone's gonna hate you. Yeah. All right, okay. Three, two, one, go. He doesn't look like he's sweating. Okay. No, he is sweaty. What role do gingers play in movies? The cameraman. What?
Wait, I don't get it. The cameraman? You want to get it, Parker. You want to get it. Guys, I just had a bunch of dad jokes right now. Wait, why would they play the cameraman? Because nobody wants them on the screen. She's over here trying to have an acting career. She's like, why would they play the cameraman? She was like, I'm filming my acting career. She's like, why would they play the cameraman? If anybody's watching this and wants to hire Harper to be your actress... Or cameraman. Or cameraman.
That's how you make a clip. Matt, you make a clip. Make a clip? Make a clip. Say something funny that we can cut up. Say something funny that we can cut up? Yeah. Okay. So...
One thing I don't like about living in this house, ever since I moved, ever since, okay, we thought we'd buy this house together and we could all live here happily. That's what I thought. That's what I thought. But there's been a problem. What's the problem? This house has become no fun. No fun. The other night, I'm driving home. I was coming home. And there's a possum crossing the street. Possum in the street. I'm good at catching possums. He's really good at catching possums. And crossing the street. And crossing the street. So? So? I'm like, I could catch this possum and then let it go and catch his room.
That would be funny. Wait, what? And then I was like, because I have a frunk in my car, it would work perfect. I could just let it go and capture the room. Then I'm like, but Kate's in there. And Kate's going to get mad and move out of the house if I let a possum go. Okay, I'll say a possum would be hilarious. It'd be so funny! If I'm sleeping at 3am and a possum wakes me up in my room. But the president of the no fun club is going to move out of the house if I let a possum go in there. Oh my god! I'm already
I'm already doing charity work, letting you still live with us. Karen, Karen, I bought half this house. Don't say you're doing charity work. Well, we can move out, and then you'll just be in a big house alone. Wow, wow, wow, wow. A big house all alone. Speak for yourself. Oh, for real? I'm staying in the fun house. Why would I go to the no fun house? That's my man. That's my man. Why would I go to a no fun house when there's a fun house? That's my man. Thank you to my man. Once your laundry basket gets filled up, don't come over. Well, I'll take my laundry basket to the no fun house. No, you can't do that. She thinks we can't hire a maid.
Yeah. Why? Replaceable. I would totally hire a maid. What? I would totally hire a maid. Do you have a maid? I know. I want to hire one too. You definitely have a maid. Who does your laundry? My sister. Does anybody clean y'all's house? They used to, but then they stole our money.
Well. So. Yeah. Anyways. Well, I mean. Yeah. Sounds like a good side gig if you're a mate. Honestly. A side gig. Oh, yeah. Kate would love that gig. No, but. Oh, my gosh. Kate loves to spend other people's money, huh, Cash? I was trying to think. Yeah, tell me about it. Oh. I was trying to think. Do y'all notice how I'm like literally the butt of every single joke ever told on this podcast? That's called a punching bag, Kate. Yeah. The punching bag. Yeah. I'm just.
Taking shots. That's why they want me to stay here. I'm not funny enough, but they need someone that they can make fun of. We'll make fun of each other, but we just want to include you. The least funniest person in the room is always the punching bag. Everybody knows that. Don't you know that? Wait, I need to make my clip. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. This is about to be...
A lot of ums and yas. Yeah. Start the ums and ya count or the like count. Yeah. So, okay. One. Wait. Say something funny. Oh my gosh. I...
Wait, let me think of it. Y'all keep talking. That's kind of not the point. So let's just keep talking and I'll come up with something. So you just want a normal clip on like a normal podcast. And then, yeah. But you have to do it right now on the spot. That's the point. That's the entire point of this. What? We did ours on the spot. Joe just tripped up the stairs. And he's got sunglasses on his side. Yeah. Joe looks pretty swaggy right now. Joe just looks swaggy. You look like dripped out.
She made a clip. She made a clip. This is true. Okay, actually, that's fair. You look like Kate falling off the toilet. That's fair. That's actually a clip. All right. Okay, perfect. You were the last one. This is your clip. I physically can't, guys. You know I can't. You guys all just admitted that I'm the most unfunny person in the entire room. Can we look at Joe right now? He's sitting on a toilet. I'm going to take a picture of him and put him up on the podcast. His last shirt.
Oh, those are mine. I thought they were mine, but I was like, oh, Joe has the same glasses. Joe, smile. This is going on the podcast. Ready? All right, guys, this is what we're seeing right now. We're going to pop it up on the screen. But yeah, was that a good clip? Yeah, I think that was a good clip. And everybody, when I went to school, asked me, did you actually pass out? I was like, you have to go watch the podcast. There you go. Oh, so you got the views up. Yeah, yeah.
Did y'all see Caleb Coffey fell from a cliff? Oh my gosh, that's so sad, bro. I saw that on TikTok and I was like, holy crap, there's no way because he was my celebrity crush when I was younger. Mine too. Yeah. What? So anyways, he was my celebrity crush. Mine too.
You already said that. No. So basically, he was my... I'm kidding. So he... Yeah. So what happened there? Did he just...
I thought you were going to say it. I was. Oh, yeah. So I was looking him on TikTok and I was like, is this actually him? And then I saw and he made a video and stuff. And he was like, yeah, I fell off a cliff. And I was like, there's no way. That's crazy. That's crazy. Imagine if we fell off an 80-foot cliff in Hawaii. He's lucky to be alive. He is. Really lucky. That's more dangerous than getting hit by a car.
You would know. Yeah, I would. No, and like, seriously, that's like crazy. I feel so bad. Guys, send prayers out to Caleb because, you know, that's... Let us pray. Let us pray. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that little thing. He also can't work out now. I know. And he always works out. I always think, well, I mean, I think you should do some push-ups for him. Do some push-ups for Caleb since he's, you know, can't do them.
- Do some pushups. - I'm not doing pushups. - Do pushups for Caleb. - No. - You don't love Caleb? - No, hold on. - Do some pushups for Caleb. - Pushups. - Fine. - Do them because he can. - Okay, okay. - You don't understand your gift that you have. - Okay. - You can do pushups still. - I'll do pushups for Caleb, but first let me tell something. - You have a gift.
Caleb's gonna be able to do a push-up. It's not like... But right now he can't. So do them for him. But just because he can't right now doesn't mean he's not gonna be able to. Why won't you do push-ups for Caleb? How many should I do? Like one for me and one for him? Alright. Yeah, just do a bunch. You just go at it. We'll keep talking. Yeah. Yeah.
Not girl push-ups. Bro, he's on his knees. What do you mean? I can promise you, Caleb does one-handed push-ups. No, one-pinky push-ups. Could you do a one-pinky push-up?
I probably can. You think so? You think you could do more push-ups in cash? Yeah. How many are you doing right now? He'll probably get to like 50, maybe 60. He's just going to go until he stops. Yeah, okay, let's keep talking. So basically, sorry. You know what I thought was crazy? Was after his family had posted about his accident and stuff, like literally within like two hours, some AI like...
tiktok page already made an ai edit of caleb like it was like ai caleb and he was like my name is caleb coffee i fell off a cliff it was like only like a couple hours after they had like his family had posted about it i was like why are they so quick with it that's crazy like they were so i want to like wait i wonder if
they made one of me probably not like hi i'm harper zomer i got hit i want to go visit him in the hospital same should we like he's gotta be so bored i know well he's like pain it's been a couple days he's probably not doing too good right yeah this podcast may come out like a week or two after not sure when this episode will come out all right nobody cares are you okay dramatic yeah how many did you do like 40 something
man that's cool i went to rock the south recently yeah yeah and um page our friend page was like hey there's this really cheap flight you can take it's only 90 i was like a 90 flight i was like i am down crazy oh was that spirit and it goes to arkansas was it spirit oh no i'll pay it in three
Yeah, I show up. Listen, here's the thing. I'm all for risking my life a little bit, but I don't do it without my boy. Because if I died...
This man would forever feel lonely. Your boyfriend. Hello, I am right here. Like I said, he'd feel forever lonely and alone. I'm actually pretty shredded. Yeah, I'm talking. Well, hold on, I'm talking. Yeah, we don't want to see that. And so I can't go on a plane like that that's dangerous without him. And I show up to this plane and it only seats seven people.
It seats seven people. It's not a jet. It has a propeller on the front. There's no service on the plane. There's no bathroom. You crawl inside. You crawl and then sit down. That's so scary. Scariest plane ride of my life. You're welcome, Caleb. I did the same one and they literally had me close the door of the plane. You closed it and locked it. I have to...
She asked me to close the door of the plane and lock it. And so people didn't trust me. And so everyone went up after me and checked the door.
I literally have footage. Oh my gosh. That is so suspicious. Joe's just trying to be like me. Listen. Joe's never been on the plane. Yeah. That's crazy. The plane was crazy. The pilots are just sitting like three feet in front of me. Like just sitting there. And they're just flying the plane. And what scared me the most was I was like, okay, I don't feel safe right now. But I'm going to try to get some sleep.
So I fall asleep. I wake up. We're like 90 feet off the ground flying over Arkansas. And I'm like, oh no. Yeah. I'm like, oh no. Like we're barely above the trees. I'm like, oh, we're going to die. This is not good. And I wake up and the plane's like, they're like looking around like this. And I'm like, why are they looking around like that? Why are the pilots turning their heads around looking at the ground? What are they doing? They're looking for the Oggs Corps. Yeah. Where is it at? Yeah. And so all of a sudden, I'm like, oh no. And this girl I'm flying with, I like look over at her and she's like, it's okay.
I'm like, it's not okay. We're going to crash. And you can't hear anything on this plane. So we're just mouthing words to each other. Why can't you hear anything? Because it's loud. It's like, that's the plane the whole time. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And so, and we have no headphones or anything. So I'm like, oh my God, where can I die? And I'm looking around and I see a track field for a school.
And I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're going to have to land in this track field. That's what's happening. Did y'all land in it? And so we're coming in for a landing in this track field. And then an immediate bank left and we land on a runway. And oh, my God. My heart never got more calm. I was actually terrified. We're going to have to land on this track field. At that point, I would have jumped out of the lane. I was terrified. Now, I only trust...
Paige, I blame you. She was like, oh yeah, it's not like a main airline, but you'll be fine. Not a main airline. I show up, there's no TSA. There's no bag check. There's nothing. You just show up. You're like, hey, I'm here. They're like, dope. Plane's over there if you want to get on. I'm like, what? No security? No metal detector? They're like, nah. I'm like...
They're like, you can bring all the food and drinks you want on the plane. Like, whatever. We don't care. I'm like, what? That's crazy. Dude, I only want to ever fly airline in my flight. Wait, life. Wait, hold on. I only ever want to fly commercial airlines in my life. Like,
Post Malone said this, I don't know if he actually does, but he said he does not like flying private jets because he's scared it's gonna go down. Yeah. I was terrified. I was like, what if I die? And Cash is left here all alone. Oh, no. I am right here. Quick question. You're welcome, Caleb. What were you gonna say? Oh, anyways, I forgot about that. But what's with the soda cans? Oh, shoot. Oh, shoot.
I forgot about this. Yeah, I was like wondering. Do you want it pink or blue? Blue. Actually? Yeah. Good, because I wanted the pink. Oh, okay. Wait, pour that. No, you got it. Wait, no, no, no. Pour the water into that cup and I'll pour you some in. I'm scared to drink it. Do you want blue or pink, Mav? Watermelon or what's that flavor? This is blue raspberry. I'm scared. What if I have a taste test? What's that one? Watermelon.
I wanna taste the watermelon. Okay, I'll take the blue. Well, I wanna taste both. We're gonna pour it in. Wait, calm down! I'm so excited. I told you she loves snacks, man. Pour it over here. I'll let you pour me some. Yeah, pour me some. Alright guys, we're gonna try... I found this at a gas station the other day in literally the middle of no- the middle of nowhere when we were going to Oklahoma. It's Warheads Sour... Oh!
I don't want to drink it because of the color now. It smells sour. Dude, I hate Warheads candy. Wait, why don't you want to taste it because of the coloring? It's blue! Look at how blue that is! What did you expect it was? Yeah, this looks like something from a beaker. I'm the only one with the pink. But, we're gonna test taste these and see how they taste. Uh, no, this is not sponsored. By the way, if anybody wants to sponsor us, you should because we could put your ad right here. Yeah, your ad could be right here and we don't have any ads.
- I'm scared to taste this. - At all, and we're broke. Also, nobody, nobody was-- - We'd like to eat lunch tomorrow, so please sponsor us. - Oh my gosh. - Come again? - We gotta keep these lights on. - These lights gotta stay on somehow. - I really wanna splurge this. - We can't even afford AC, I'm not gonna lie. - Yeah, it's 83 degrees right now in this house. - And I'm literally under my pants, I am literally dying, so. - It's 83 degrees. All right, ready? - Three, two, tres. - Uno, dos, tres. - Wait. - Oh, it works before it gets better.
Oh my gosh! I'm hoping blue is better than mine. Is your stomach churning? Mine is. Like mine is like circle. Oh that was horrible. Do you think people actually just drink that? Why are you drinking more? She's chugging. Oh my gosh. She's chugging it. No way. Drink the whole thing. You won't. Oh. No way. Oh Harper. Oh.
Oh, your mouth is definitely blue. Oh, that is not good. It tastes kind of good. No, it's not. That is so much sugar. The blue is not good either. Not good. That's bad. I need water. I know my teeth are going to rot. Yeah. Nobody wants to sponsor our podcast apparently. And also. You like it? Joe likes it. I like it. No way. Don't. Also, nobody wants to come on our podcast. Yeah. Look at all the guests we have.
Nobody. It's great. We had Joe for like 30 seconds. So if anybody wants to come on our podcast, just come. Yeah. It would be a good time. I promise you. Yeah, DM us. Did I tell y'all also on the trip where I went to rock the south, after the airplane ride, that was sketchy.
We show up to the Airbnb that Paige booked. Paige is just not good at trips. Paige booked this. She booked this Airbnb. I think she was about to cry because she was so frustrated and upset about it. She books this Airbnb, and we pull up, and we were in a dangerous neighborhood. It was scary. It was very scary. And we're like, okay, maybe we should get a hotel somewhere else or something. But everything was booked because of this event that we were going to. So this was the only place we could stay.
And we open the door and we're like, okay, this isn't too bad. This isn't too bad. We stay a couple nights. We're like, it's a little gross. There's some roaches and stuff, but it's all right. Yeah. I would leave. Yeah, we're like, but it's okay. Nothing's been broke into yet. We're okay. Broke into yet? Yeah. No, we were scared the car was getting broke into for sure. Harper, are you chewing on the... Yeah. Don't choke on it. Oh, my God.
You're gonna cut your tongue. That's what I like. What? I like to cut my tongue. It, like, it, like, scrapes off the bad, um... Did y'all know if you, like, put a metal surface on your tongue, it scrapes off the bad, um... Okay, cutting your tongue and cleaning your tongue are two different things. Yeah. No, it scrapes off the bad, um... Breath? Not, uh... Germs? No. The bad... Bacteria? Mm...
No, the bad taste buds. Oh, okay. The bad taste buds. So you'll like everything. You know when you have an inflamed taste bud? Mm-hmm. I just...
But yeah, so we stayed there the whole trip and we're like, this place is fine. It's a little sketchy. Yeah. And then on the last night, we explore the house a little bit. We hear something in the attic. We're like, that's weird. This is a lie. It was the basement. No, Paige is like freaking out. It sounds like the beginning to a movie. No, Paige hears something in the attic. She's like, something's going on up there that's like banging around. We go up there. We couldn't really find much. And then she hears it again. This time, it's in the basement. We're like, spooky. So it went from the attic to the basement? Yep. And so then the guys...
Stop touching your mic. I think it's going to be loud. One of them had brought a weapon, so he's like, I'll go get my weapon out of my car. My weapon. I don't want to say a word and get demonetized, but he gets his weapon, and he goes down under the house into the attic, or the basement.
And someone was living down there. There was like a bed area and like all this food trash and everything. And someone had been living down there. That's called a homeless person. Right under us. Yeah, that's not a homeless person. That's a homeless person. That's actually crazy. A homeless person was living in your Airbnb. Yeah, right below us. Well, I guess they're not homeless anymore. No, they found a home. They found a home. I'll give them that. They're finding problems and they're solving them. Yes, sir. Wait, what would y'all's first thing like...
Like, if you were homeless, what would y'all's first thing to do be? Like, without going to TikTok and asking for money. Like, what would y'all do? Oh, yeah, because, you know, that's everyone's first thing to think of. Honestly, though. Like, when I go through my For You page, it makes me so, like, guilty. They're like, please, if you watch this three times, it can save my dog's life. I'm like, what? Like, I'm sorry, but I just can't watch it three times. I feel so bad. I'm like, I just can't. So...
So, um... Buster, you're not worth it, man. Oh, sorry, bucko. You're dead. Sorry, little Buster. Nah, if I was homeless, I think I'd be pretty fine. Um... No money, though. You didn't have any. Yeah. That's kind of the whole reason they're homeless. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True. But if I was homeless, I think I'd be pretty fine. I think I'd be the first homeless YouTuber ever.
No, there's already one. What's his name? In LA. I don't know his name, but he's a really, like, six-foot African-American dude. And he literally, like, vlogs about how he is homeless. And he brushes his teeth in, like, different, like, public sinks. So it's cool, actually. That's cool. I think it's cool. I get...
You think it's cool you're going to take that up one day? Yeah. Yeah. Take the homeless job up. You know what I noticed in our comment section a lot? Maverick and Harper are sitting on the same couch. So Maverick like looks at her when she talks as one does. But everyone's like, why is Maverick looking at Harper like that?
What? Would you like to explain yourself? Yeah. No, nothing. No. Okay, I will admit, I looked at it and I was like, why does it look like that? But it's because she's so small. I have to look down. I know, and it's like, if the camera shot is on you, it looks like you're like that.
Especially when I go from Cash to Harper. Yeah, it's like you're looking down. Because she's so small. But her growth hormones are kicking in. Yeah, they are. So only, not for long. Yeah, not for long. Have you grown anymore? I don't, I actually think I'm...
I think I'm six foot one now, so I'm getting happy. Let's go. Yeah, I'm getting... You're getting drafted too? Yeah. No, um... How tall are you actually? I'm like four foot eight, I'm pretty sure. Do you get... Does it bother you when people bully you about your height? No. I like it. Good, because you're short. Good. Wait, wait. Cash. Yo. Did y'all hear that? Ah!
What do you mean? Is that the end of the podcast? Is it been an hour? I don't think so. What time do we start? You're not going to come back over here? Yeah, we need like another five, ten minutes. You're sitting on the couch too? I'll switch you. I just farted. Can we switch? No way. Harper. Harper just farted. Oh, it's kind of nice over here. You don't have to smell Harper. You want to try to sit on the bucket? I can smell you though. Cash literally aimed his butt at me. Why was it like a poop?
Dude, I don't know. It just sounds like that, man. That's so funny. You know what's crazy? Matt never farts. I've never heard the man fart once in my life. I just have no butt, so it's just... This is true. He doesn't. Can you stand up real quick? No. What am I just going to say? Mock my body. They're not just going to body shame me. I don't want to body shame you. Come on, Santa. Level one, yacht. Wait, wait. Can you explain that to me? Because I don't get that. Wait, wait. Am I old? Level one.
Level one, g-yacht, is like... Level one, wait, hold on, what? It's g-yacht. Like a butt. Yeah, it's like when someone has a good butt, they'll be like, she's g-yacht something good or something. Or they'll be like, oh, I g-yacht to go to the restroom or something like that. Or I g-yacht something in my eye. Y'all were saying g-yacht? It's G-Y-A-T. It's like, holy g-yacht or something like that. I don't understand it. I don't. And I feel like I'm old or something because I don't know. No, you know all my comment section talks about your g-yacht.
What? Mine? What about mine? No. Wait, what's a yacht? They say negative one yacht. They say I have negative one yacht? Yes. Harper, what do you mean? They've never seen my yacht. Yes. Oh, is yacht your butt? Yes. Oh, y'all want to see mine? Cash. He's got that. Let's go. He's got a lot going on in there. Reese just walked up the stairs at the wrong time. Oh, hi, Reese. Come here. Come here. No, no, no. We're not looking at Reese's yacht. What? No. What?
That's what Harper was- okay. No, I wasn't! Alright, can you please just show us your yacht real quick? No! Matt, do it for the entertainment of everyone on- watching at home. It's embarrassing. Dude, come on, stand up. It's just like- stand up. Jeez, dude, stand up quicker next time! It's not like "yeah" back there. Yeah, it's just- Alright, let's see, let's see. Pull up your shirt! There's nothing there!
Yeah. Okay. Congratulations. There's nothing there. No, I say this about Cash and I'm sure it's true about you, but like he doesn't have a butt. He just has like an extra long thigh that goes up into his back. Like there's no butt. Yeah. It's just like his thigh. Exactly. Yeah. I hate this episode. I've been going more hard in the gym on my yacht lately. Not gonna lie. Wait, so I don't. So yeah. So in, in my TikTok, that one of us going like the, like I don't know.
I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't. Or wait. Was it a Hilara video? Yeah, yeah. I think I know which one you're talking about. No, I'm kidding. Wait, so what were they saying? Anyways, they're like, sorry, I got something wrong. Because Reese and Kate have a big butt. Hey, don't talk about my brother or sister and all like that. What? Huh? I have so lost. You guys don't get it. You could have said, hey, don't talk about my wife like that.
Or I could say it how I said it. Somebody got a problem with that? Yeah, I do. Well, actually, like, y'all... Wait, I'm still trying to process what was said. Some people have a really big butt. She said they were all talking about her yacht. You didn't have a really big butt. I said, hey, don't talk about my brother's sister-in-law like that.
Oh, your brother's sister-in-law. You didn't have a really big butt though. No, I mean like, I haven't looked down there obviously. I haven't, sorry. But like, I don't even know. And then the whole like, oh, sorry. You know when there's a blue thing above your comment section? It says Harper's Elmer Yacht.
That was the search? Dude, those search things are nuts, bro. Some of my search things are wild. Out of pocket. Some of them are bad, like out of pocket. Yeah. And I'm like, why are people searching this? And then one was Harper Yacht Picks Leaked.
I was like, what? That's actually inappropriate. I was like, I was like, you're 14. Let's not talk about a 14 year old like that. Yeah. I have, I have, I have negative one. Yeah. Harper, you don't need to talk about that. Level two. Yeah. Oh, I got, okay. Nevermind. Um, anyways, but yeah, she just went like NPC on us. Yeah. Wait, y'all all want to be an NPC for like a minute. I'm pretty good at it. If I don't say so myself. Yeah. I've seen this man at the casino. He goes straight in PC mode. He just,
Wanna go ride ponies and look in the distance? Mmm, maybe another time. Woof. What's going on? Wait, wait, wait, I have an idea! Let's do Try Not To Cringe. That's not NPC, what? No, yeah, that's what we should do. We should do Try Not To Cringe. No, let's do Try Not To Cringe. We'll go around and we'll try not to cringe. I'm scared at what that was. Okay, Harper, you start and then go kill. Okay. No, I was gonna do that! What, is that a thing?
Dude, this is the epitome of women are not funny. Are you enjoying trash? Everyone... Oh, your turn. That was a good impression. Your turn. To act cringe? Yeah. You just gotta make us cringe.
That one. That one is it. You're welcome. You won. Come on, Cash. You're stalling. Top him. I'm not stalling. No, come on. Go. I know you can beat me. No, Mav. You just gave the look you gave said it all. Listen, I would do one. I really would, but I'm...
Bro, never. That one, that one. No, that's like an NPC you'd gotta be like. No, we were doing Try Not To Cringe. Cash, cash. Real quick. Can you look at the camera like you're checking it out? Like pretend it's, I guess, Kate over there. Oh, you want me to show? Okay, I'll show y'all how I look at Kate. I want to see you romantically entice the camera for five seconds.
That's like cringifying. I can confirm he does do that and I have to tell him to stop. Oh, that's so gross. Like I wake up in the morning and he's like,
- Ew! - That is not true. - Ew! - That's gross. Y'all wanna see how to act like an NPC? I'll show you. - I would kill myself on the spot. - Ready? Give me, wait, I need like some sort of topic, like what am I acting like an NPC about? What am I doing? Like am I buying groceries? What am I doing? Come on. - Okay. - Riding a horse. Riding a horse. Looking for a rattlesnake that bit your dog, okay? - Yeah. - Go. - All right, ready? Whatcha looking for? Wait, oh, you started? I'm asking you whatcha looking for there. Okay, ready? Go. Whatcha looking for there, Hollis?
Hiya friend, have you seen a rattlesnake nearby? A rattlesnake? Gee, hiya friend, have you seen a rattlesnake nearby? That's how you do it. Wait, okay, give Mavicus an answer. You're going shopping at Sephora. At Sephora? Because you're a girly girl. Yeah, you're looking for the rare beauty blush in the shade Happy.
- In the shade happy? - Yeah. - That's a shade? - Yeah, it is. It is. - Happy. - Or joy. - Yep. - I go. - Whichever you feel. - Bag. You don't have a bag. Just do it. - You walk in the door. I'll be the Sephora employee. - Okay. - Hi, can we help you find anything today? - Hey, I'm looking for the shade happy for my girlfriend. Do you know where I can find that? - What do you mean the shade happy?
Do you have a brand? I'm looking for the shade happy for my girlfriend. Do you know where I can find that? Hiya, friend. How are you? Hiya, friend. Wait, give me a scenario. It's next to the shade happy. I feel like their definition of NPC is way different than ours. Y'all have never played a video game, so I don't think y'all know what an NPC is. Y'all never... A non-player character. Y'all never... Y'all never...
He's glitching. I've seen the TikToks where people act like an NPC. Yeah, yeah. An NPC is someone that's programmed to do the same thing over and over every single day. Wait, wait, give me a scenario. I have one. Wait, give me a scenario. Oh my goodness, what's the scenario for Harper? Oh, okay. You are going to the pound to rescue a dog, but you only want a dog with three legs specifically. Okay, okay, okay. Oh, catch.
Okay, that's the end of the podcast. No, we're done. Sorry. No, that's the end. You just went and put your nose in your fart. All right, guys. Yeah, I'm not doing the NBC. Stop turning in the podcast. No, I'm done. No, don't end it. They don't want it to end. They do. No, they don't. The lights are literally going off. Let's think about who wants the podcast to, if you don't want the podcast to end, raise your hand.
Okay. This should show you guys that I should be your favorite host because... Wait, oh my gosh. They're lame, huh? Who's y'all's favorite host? Comment down below who's your favorite host. Comment down below who's your favorite host. Obviously, the one who just said they want the podcast to continue. Yeah, but honestly... Do y'all read the comments? Make them longer. Do more. Obviously. I'm trying. I'm fighting for you guys. Ha!
But they're not no I'm down actually we can we can keep running this oh, yeah, I don't wanna be hating on the comments now Yeah, don't hate please don't hate me Okay, wait how long are we at? Let's see Okay, so it says we're at 53. Okay, cuz my time is off cuz I started late 53 minutes. Yep. Okay, maybe we should end you're not gonna be very popular in the comments I'm joking
Quit doing that to the mic. Okay, let's do the last thing and then we'll end it. Harper, talk about your NPC three-legged dog. Okay. Welcome to the animal shelter. Can we help you find anything today? Hold on. Redo it, redo it, redo it. Welcome to the animal... Maybe we should have ended the podcast. Oh, gosh.
Let's do something else. We were on a good track. Okay, okay. You're an NPC trying to riz up the camera. Okay. You have 10 seconds. The camera itself, not the people behind it. The camera. There's nobody behind the camera? No, you're talking to the camera like it's a real person, but it's an object. Hey, want to come over to my place tonight?
Treat me like white tea. Don't get me dirty. Nope. I don't even know if she knows what ABC means at this point. It kind of worked, though. Kate, your turn. Hey, want to come over to my house later today? Maybe, or you know those lives where they're like, thank you for the rose. Thank you for the candle.
Mmm hot dogs like you know yeah, that's what yeah, what's the hand thing that keeps going on? What is this? That's what they do. They're like oh hi. Thank you for the hot dog. Hey, thanks for the follow Thanks for the hot dog. That should be so good with the hat everything. There's a galaxy What are you trying to do send me into another universe that thanks for the hot dog? Share the line make sure you like a good things the hot dog Wait should we go live?
we go live after this and do that thanks to the rose enough of those i might have a bouquet that's it that's what the guy says he's so good it's his spider-man says the same exact thing over and over it's just spider-man dude on tiktok he's like thanks to the rose enough of those i may have a bouquet and he's just like he says the same thing same way it's so good all right guys i think we do have to end the podcast yeah hopefully nothing got cut out of this episode because some people says i'm out of pocket stuff we did
Or was that last episode? I don't know. Sometimes things get cut because some people say inappropriate things. What? Now again, the only things we've had to cut out of podcasts is stuff she says and stuff he says. Hey, let's go. Dude. Literally put that guy away. He said, he said, he said, sorry. No, the only, can you sit it back down?
He's so ashamed to come back after he did that. My elbows are too big. My arms are so long. The only two people that I've ever said most out-of-pocket stuff that we had to cut was them two. Me and Kate, 100%. We're good at this podcast thing. What? What were you pointing at? Nothing, all right. What were you pointing at? He was seeing how long his arm was. Am I right? But I do think we are going to end this episode. We... We'll stop singing. That's what we'll do. I want all the tears back and I'll cry.
Do you think your wife has a good voice? Oh. Mm-hmm.
We're gonna end this episode right here. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you for watching. Make sure you guys enter the contest that is about to play in three, two, one. Peace out, bro. Whoever has the most viewed video using a clip from this podcast on TikTok or YouTube Shorts, we're gonna be personally FaceTiming. Post as many times as you want, but make sure to tag the podcast and use hashtag the LOL podcast in the title slash description. Good luck and we hope you win.