How to Make Hard Choices: Practical Tips for When Sh*t Gets Real
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Head to your north stream reck store score, great brands, great places, the greatest gifts of all time. Hey, is your friend male, and welcome to the male ben's podcast. Let's go. Who I am really looking forward to our conversation today. If you ran new to the male Robins podcast, I know robbins on the york times, the best selling author.

I am also one of the world's leading experts on habits and motivation and behavior change, and I invite you today to pop and listen in as I give some advice on coaching to a woman name, katina, who wrote in, because in the wake of a breakup, SHE has a very big decision to make. You're in love her, by the way. SHE smart and SHE is a go get her, but she's really stuck right now.

And this coaching session is going to give me the opportunity to teach you to just critical truth about life. Number one, you have to know the difference between the right decision and being afraid of the right decision. And the second truth about life .

is that how you feel .

about somebody .

is very different .

than how they make you feel. And how they make you feel is where you have to put all the weight when you're making really hard decisions. And by the very end of this coaching session with Katrina, you are going to learn, and absolutely incredible tool.

This is a tool that will help you make courageous decisions. Because isn't IT true that so often the decision that you know is right, the one that deep down in your heart, you know is the best and trust decision for you. It's also the one that scares the hell out of you.

All right? Do we have CarOlina here? Oh, great. Hi Katrina.

hello. Hi mom. How are you doing?

I'm doing great. So why do we start by having you share the question that you originally sent to me with everybody this listing?

Yes, absolutely. And I twenty twenty two, just days before my twenty fifth birthday and last year of last school, my boyfriend of five years dumped to me to say that this was out of nowhere would be an under statement. But looking back, I am sure there are signs that the end was coming.

My future crumbled right before my eyes. I was numb for the first three to four months. I've done a lot of work since then. I need your help on what to do next. The state I live in has spent my home on my life, and as far as I know, it's where my ex still resides.

I'm unsure if it's the break up, the last year, last ending, or the fact that I truly have nothing tie me down here anymore, but this place no longer feels warm to me. Most of my friends are engaged in beginning to start their lives in a chapter I can no longer relate to. I'm thinking of moving to a state that has everything I love.

However, a part of me knows that if I leave the chance, me getting back together with my x becomes slimmer. A brilliant and well experiences woman once said, one decision can change the trajectory of your life forever. So I hope you can help me figure out what decision to make, or at least ways to make the schooling decision. thanks.

okay. So I think that this is a very short coaching session.

okay.

because I think you know the .

decision um yeah, I think I do too.

So when you just kind of what you think. I want to tell you something, bad decisions sense you've just graduated from last school.

You're very analytical.

but the kind of decisions that change your life are not made. And that analytical brain. Do you know where in your body you can feel what the decision is?

Yeah, I think it's my heart. I think um I mean, there is definitely a part of me. I left out a few things there.

His parents have a love story that they ended up back together after they broke up and after they had separate lives. So I think subconsciously i'm hoping that that's the case. But I know my time here. I live in india a las. I I think my time here is come to an end just because I I don't want to be living in a place where i'm worried i'm onna bump in to him or worried I see them on a date with someone else like that's not a life I want to live and that's not something I want to have in the back of .

my mind everywhere I go yeah um I think there is a bigger reason that has nothing to do with him. I want you to tell me why you wanna move I mean fuck in five minute like what why do you want to go somewhere else?

Yeah um there are many reasons i've lived in in the animal entire life and and I think this break up has shown me so many things but one thing is that you have one life to live and I just don't think i'm supposed to live here for my entire life and it's it's something that's deep and me and I was deep in me before we broke up. I thought about moving. I wanted to move.

So it's just it's only accelerated IT, but I have parent guilt because they live here and they don't intend on moving anywhere. But maybe if I can show them that IT, it's possible you can do IT, you can start over somewhere new, but maybe they will give them the confidence to do so. So I agree with you. There are reasons that are more personal than just him and that and that I know from my own self growth is a necessary next step.

Yeah, I think you wanted make the decision not only from your heart, and i'll coach you through how to make the decision and how to read the energy of your heart. But you can make this decision either because you want to move away from something or because you feel cold to something.

I think it's it's sixty percent being called somewhere else. Forty percent of me feeling that I need to move away because it's, I mean, we we spent five years here. We were very active people, every work. And I like to go on hikes. And now every time I go on hikes, I think about where we've been and he's not that big of the city to escape from all the memories and it's just it's been really hard to think that I can create new memories with someone else or myself without those things coming in for um .

yeah it's possible for sure yeah so you set a couple things to me. One is I felt called deep down even before we broke up yeah that this is something that i've wanted to do and I will tell you, you will always regret not doing IT. And the other thing i'm going to tell you is you can always come back.

Yes, that's yeah that spend. My main thing is I know I can always come back. I've made enough of a network here, and I know there are plenty of people in my corner double are here that would I could rely on IT.

God forbid something was to go right in the state that I have, I have chosen. So I, I, yes, I do want to bet on myself. Yes, just that feels little guilty towards my parents.

And all on a second, your parents are grown as adults.

They are.

and they can move. They can get on an airplane. They can face time. You, they want you to be happy. They want you to pursue your dreams.

There is nothing I would hate more than to have my kids tell me that they gave up on something they wanted to do because they felt guilty about me, after all the shit i've done to support them. They're not gna settled. They are coward as chicken shit decisions on me.

Yeah, that resonates deeper ply. I know you're right. I know I I don't know what part of me that someone believes I can go someone without disappointing them, but I know you that you're right that deep down that they want the best for me. They want me to be happy.

Here's what you can do. You can actually go to your parents and say, I need to do this for myself. And the only thing holding me back is my fear about you guys being upset with me. So can I ask for your support in doing something that I I desperately need to do for my own growth, and I promise I can always come back?

Yeah, I think I need that reassurance for sure. Well.

you can ask for whether they give IT to or not is a whole other thing. I don't know your parents. I don't know if they are going to be emotional mature about IT, but I suspect they've seen you suffer and they've seen you sad, and they want you to be happy.

And if you tell them this is what you think you need to take this risk to do this thing, then you need to do IT. Living with regret is the worst thing in the world I need you to accept. That he broke up with you and you haven't .

yeah like .

I have a had time that's bullshit .

because .

I know you is think .

about this.

It's got got a lot Better. I mean, and I ve been able to I told myself I would be on a hiatus until I take the bar in july from men like talking the men. And i've gotten over that.

I allowed myself to live. And I freely talk to adult mail, who I find interesting and attractive. And I ve been using the five second, and it's worked wonders. It's just, I don't know, there is a part of me that is hanging on to the little piece of hope that because he was the person that I mean, everything I wanted in a person with that was him, except the fact that he didn't want .

me so well. The single biggest yeah thing that you need, why would you, anna, be with somebody who doesn't want to be with you?

But you do because .

you think if you can win him back, IT means something. What does IT mean if he comes back.

you regret the decision.

But what does that mean about you?

I, are we not anything commendable mean, you take in someone a second guest, your worth and their perception of you as what you meant to them in your life. Men, how I wasn't enough.

There is a part of your value and worth that you have handed to him.

yeah.

And him coming back and wanting to be with you is what you think is going to give you that piece of self respect. That's why you're holding onto IT because you think there's something wrong with you or missing from you or deficient .

and only he can give IT back to you.

Yeah, we haven't spoken. great. I hadn't seen .

there's nothing to say. He said everything when he broke up with you without warning.

yeah.

And I also think you need to look back at the relationship if you're going to, with a much more critical lie, because there were science. They are always science.

Yes, they were absolutely science.

I'm proud of you for admitting that there were signs. And I want to dig in to those signs after a quick break from our sponsors. Stay with this, everybody, because that's where we go next.

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Welcome back I melt Robins and today we're talking about two truths about life and i've got Katrina here with us who just went through our exercise break up and we're talking about the fact that there are .

always signs so could treat up what were the signs well um one uh two years in nor list chip you cheated on me OK there's a sign that's a sign two about three weeks before he broke up with me。 Um he is more man than on Christian uh and um he had some .

more .

than people over. And we got in a big fight essentially and I saw him look at me differently and then time. And then on our fourth july weekend, when he broke up with me, he was very distant.

Also, all of our mutual friends broke up, so every guy and group all broke up with their girlfriends, two weeks player. And then I was next. I was next target to be hit, or a captive .

to be released.

Yeah, that too.

Now you need to change your story. He was not everything you thought you wanted. He was somebody that cheated on you, that you forgive, who then started to ice you out because he felt the pressure from A L.

D. S. Leaders, which he is allowed to do. And he did IT in a really chicken shit.

Mean, disrespect for way had he SAT down with you and explained from his heart the pressure he feels, how much he cares about you, how much this time is meant, but he just can't get past the religion blob ity. But if he had done that, we wouldn't be here. But see why you feel pissed. And i'd like you to get into the anger instead of the, should I move? Should I not fucking .

him you got ta get .

into amount of, I was fucking disrespected by this son of a bitch. How fucking dare he? What a chicken shit piece of shit. What I I was dating a boy .

yeah no, absolutely one hundred percent not emotionally intelligent talking.

Come on what else?

Um man, it's so hard now where it's only hard .

because you've been telling yourself a different story. And the story that you need to tell yourself is this one when it's not love, it's a lesson. And the lesson that he taught me is I want an actual man.

I want somebody who talks about his feelings. I want somebody who is upfront with me when something's not working. I want somebody who respects me to have the hard enough, to have the hard conversations.

And I also learned that I am a fucking in lawyer, and if I can get my ass through law school, I am an adult who wants an adult relationship with an equal. And I was dating a child, and I was making excuses for him. And i'm not fucking in doing that again. How about that story? I like that story I say with love that story .

I think i'm going to keep in my back pocket yeah here's one .

of the thing I want to say you we got to come up with your plan be when you bump into him because I have a feeling that literally within the next eighty eight hours you are going to mom .

and do I do too? I know i've had this feeling for a while.

Okay, so what you going to do.

I don't know. Uh, i've just thought about shanghai. And I mean, I am in a much Better headspace now like the amount of relationships that i've Fostered in the amount of people that i've met, sense then that I never what have met and their stories I never what have heard.

Like it's given me a new lites. It's given me a new reason to to live in a new pursuit. I've learned so much about myself, i've i've learned how loyal I am as a friend and how many people I have in my corner is just so I want to exert that kind of energy when I see him. But I was too great. Yeah OK.

If he asked .

me how i'm doing, I wanna. I'm doing great because I am okay.

great. But there's still a little peace.

yes.

And I want to to turn that peace into something powerful for you. And it's the truth. The reason why you can't let this go is because of how he handled IT. Yeah, because you are a person of principle .

and you deserved .

to be treated differently. This is not a about the break up, is not about what happened. It's about the how yeah. And so the way that we're gona do this, because we're going to role play, is, I want you to put on your lawyer head OK kay, having this rehearsed will help you knock IT triggered because when you see the person, IT will be a little bit like, oh my god. So expect a little bit of the wave I go to and then you're to take a deep breath and you're gona walk right up to him. Do not look away. Do not worry if he's with somebody even Better, you're going to walk right up and you're going to say, hey, I had a feeling I was gonna bump and do it's it's actually really great to see you because i'm moving some I always wanted to do, and I wanted to thank you, thank you for ending IT because I probably would be making different decisions if I were still putting you first. But I do want to tell you the way you handled IT was really awful and I deserve Better and now I feel Better that I told you.

你好， let's, let's talk.

Alright, go head, go head. OK.

I am.

I'm him. I'm like walking. And I see you .

like you. Okay, I like.

hi.

It's great to see you. I had a feeling I was gonna bump into you recently. I mean, it's been a long time since I i've seen you.

Yeah, you look, you look really great. You are.

thanks. Thank you. I appreciate IT. I just want to let you know i'm actually i'm moving soon and I I truly want to thank you for for allowing me and getting me this time to nope.

no, no. I want to thank you for ending IT.

ending IT OK .

because I .

wouldn't have, yeah, I went .

not and I needed to end and i'm happy IT ended but I do have to tell you the way you handled IT not cool, not cool at all. I deserve Better. And I hope you treat women Better in the future.

See later. All right, here we go again. I'm nick. Do to do, do to do, to do, to do, to do. Okay, here we go.

Oh, hey.

oh, hi, hey. Wow, he's a gone. Everything's great. Everything really great.

I I had a feeling i'd bump into you that's really od but I just want to let you know um I want to thank you actually for for ending what .

we had really I yes .

I uh and recently made the decision to move and I would not have made this decision had we stay together and it's I after great reflection, it's been truly the biggest blessing. The way in which IT was done was not acceptable. And I hope that you can do Better for the women that in your life, in your future think.

Dismissed man, he's convicted. You're the winner. That was incredible. How do you .

feel IT feels empowered and IT feels honest?

Yeah yeah. That last word is IT because like a lot of that gotcha and i'm just gona see that thing where I pretend to look at that doesn't work but you're being honest because it's the justice piece of this that hooked you that yet that's what has kept you attached to this that IT wasn't right.

And when you distinguish the relationship ending from the how I ended IT gives you your power back to go away to and I was mistreated here I need to say something. This fucking cover did this and then slinked off into the sunset. I don't think so.

right?

And I also love that you can see the difference between making a decision because you're weak and you don't want to bump into the loser on a hiking trail. Give me a fucking break. He be, he should be where he's right now, hiking anywhere, because he's scared to bump into you.

Possibly.

definitely, even if he has, somebody know he's gonna scared to bump into you, because he also knows he was a coward and he disrespected you the way he did this. You know that you are now making a decision to move, told your power and told your growth. I think you are going to find something in this move that you didn't even know you are seeking.

And I am so excited for you. And I want to leave you with a tool, the way that you make a decision in the future that you know, kind of one of these big waiting ones as you just kind of closure. Ze, and I want you to think about the two options.

Do I stay in indian, or do I move to this new place that i've always wanted to live? The decision that alliance and is true for you, is the one that is gonna feel more expensive. Something inside you opens up IT doesn't mean it's an easy decision, doesn't mean that there are things are concerned about, but that it's gonna create growth, that there's something exciting even if it's scary about that decision, that there's some expensive energy to IT.

And that's how you can feel in your heart and in your gut that, that is a decision that's aligned with who you are and where you're to go. If you are making a decision and you feel yourself shrink a little, you feel the energy go down, you feel kind of instead of the expansion like this kind of contraction of energy, that's a no. It's a no.

And that's why I opened up our conversation by saying, I think this is gonna a short conversation, because you already know. And one other piece of advice i'm gona give you is this, when making decisions in life, always use your heart to know what the truth is for you. And that's why I knew immediately.

Oh, SHE knows she's moving. This is like not even a question. She's already knows what you'll use your brain and you've got this beautiful analytical lawyer brain that's going to help you figure out that.

Okay, what am I doing? IT, has you? Gonna en like, okay, awesome. I'm so proud. You, I wish I give you a big fuck hug, or we .

could and have person, I, you, the biggest. And so this feels so surreal. I ve been meaning to email for approximately six months and wasn't until I fish the book of five second rule this weekend and that i've said, five, four, three, two, one and I got and .

sent IT so you did IT when you're ready and yeah, i'm really proud of you. You are going to do really big things in life. I know IT, I know IT. And you are going to be shocked about the relationships that are coming in the future because you are stepping into your power. So you are in a totally different place, which means the person that steps into your life, friends or romantic, whatever, are going to amplify you, which is incredible and really proud of you. Go get him.

Thank you so much. You're rock berlin.

H, don't you just love her? I am so rooting for her. And you know who are am rooting for? I'm rooting for you and believe IT or not, in those twenty five minutes I packed in about ten incredible takeaway.

And I want to make sure that I highlight those for you so that you've got all ten of them because we packed a ton into that coaching conversation. So let's ht pause very quick for a word from our sponsors and we come back. I'm going to go one through ten and summarized everything that you just learned so that you can apply IT to your life to stay with us.

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Welcome back, I melt Robins, and I promise .

that I would unpack all of the takeoff and that's we're going to do right now. Believe IT or not, there are ten extremely valuable takeaway that we packed into those twenty five minutes of coaching with Katrina. So let's walk through right now.

Number one, IT is so powerful in life. When you are running towards something, okay, stop running away from things. And I realize you may be running away from a job you hate right now, or running away from your problems, or running away from an x.

That's not a powerful way to frame met. And what I want you to do is I want you to think about, if you're moving away from a relationship or a place or a job, what are you moving toward? Let's frame IT.

In the positive, CarOlina is moving for growth. She's moving for freedom. She's moving for a new beginning.

She's moving for confidence. See how different that is from I got to get away from my x. There's no power in that you just gave IT to your ex.

And so take one number one, in life, I want you to flip your narrative so that you're always described in what you're moving toward. And you know, karina was honest about this. Just listened to this clip from her.

Remember when you said this is sixty percent being called somewhere else, forty percent feeling that I need to move away.

And the truth is you will feel a bit of a tagger war because fears involved there. And that's why you need to take away. Always flip the narrative about what you're doing is moving towards something powerful.

okay. Second, take away. Let's talk about closure. If you're still holding on to the handle on the door, you haven't fully closed IT. okay.

When you're going to close the door on a relationship or a chapter in your life, you cannot be holding on to the handle. That's what Katrina o is doing. Remember when you said this.

a part of me knows that if I leave, the chances of me getting back together with my x become simmer.

Now I applaud her honesty, but to truly close the door, you have to let go of the handle, and then you have to turn and walk toward something else. So whatever IT is that you're hold none to, whether it's the slim sliver of hope that things could be different, whether it's beating yourself up, whether it's rumination, you have to let go. And you also need to move away from that door and start walking toward something new.

That is what this means to truly have closure. Take one. Number three, if you're gonna a, hold yourself back and play a really small game in life, you give up the right to blame other people for that. Let me unpacked this for you. Remember when Katrina said this without her parents .

I do want to bet on myself. It's just that feels little guilty he towards my parents and I was like.

who wait a minute, you don't get to bet on yourself, then be like but my parents, I feel guilty that is so wrong if you're gona hold yourself back on IT, i'm too scared to move do not settle your parents or your friends or anybody else with this guilt stuff is complete baloney, all right? So be very clear when you're holding yourself back that you're the one doing IT to yourself.

The fourth take away, don't even get me started on this because that makes me so frustrated. How many times have you been afraid to disappoint somebody? Oh, i'd like to do this for what time to disappoint them? Ninety nine percent of the time you haven't fricking ask them.

So stop saying you're afraid to disappoint someone. Be an adult, just ask them, tell me what you want to do and then you'll find out if there's a reason to be afraid. But I guarantee you, if you explain to somebody what you want to do and why you're gona get the support that you need, you know, give an example.

My parents, I hate that I live so far away from them. They can stand that I move from the midwest and live out in the east. But you know what? There's still my biggest supporters.

People can be two things at once. They can be disappointed that you don't live closer, and they can still support you in pursuing your dreams. So stop saying that you are afraid of disappointing people.

Go have the conversation because I think you're going be shocked. Here's the fifth take away. If someone doesn't want you anymore, you shouldn't want them.

The second they break up with you, the second they're not in love with you anymore, the second they treat you as though they don't want you. Take that as the truth and flip the switch and tell yourself you deserve Better. I'm sure you remember this moment. When can trina confess this?

Everything I wanted in a person with him, except the fact that he didn't want me.

I must fell out of my chair when he said that that's not your person. That's your insecurity and your trauma from childhood playing out. That's your attachment issues.

See, one of the reasons why we cling to people that don't want us is that we play this crazy game, that if we could only convince them to like us again, IT proves that somehow are worthy. okay? The only person that you need to be worthy of is yourself.

And so that means you should not want to be with somebody who does not want to be with you, period. Another really big takeaway here. There are always science. Your intuition is always right. Your issue is that you're not listening to IT.

So the next time a chapter or a job or a relationship is over, please stop romance what I was, and please look back with an astute, honest, critical eye and look for the signs. Because you need to claim those signs and you need to own the fact that you ignore them. And that's a major mistake that I see so many of you making that you're embarrassed.

Oh, I was such an idiot. There were signs that they were cheating. H, I was such an idiot.

He's been treating me, or she's been treating me like garbage for a year. There were signs, but you don't want to tell anybody because you think IT makes you look weak. It's actually the opposite. If you can claim all the signs that you saw and chose to ignore, you know what that does. It's strengthens your intuition because you're honoring the fact that it's true.

And if you make that part of the narrative, IT will be more likely that you will see any signs in the future and that you will trust IT because you've now owned the mistake that you made in the past. And that brings me to take away number seven, if it's not love, IT is a lesson full stop. You see, not everybody is meant to be in your life for your lifetime, but the things that they teach you and the experiences that you have with them will stay with you for a lifetime.

And so one of the thing I want you to remember is that when something ends, IT ends, because I was supposed to end, okay, there's something Better coming. And so when you feel ready, change your story from heartache and heartbreak and insecurity and drama to the lesson that you learned. Because remember, if it's not love, it's a lesson.

Another big take away here was the coaching that I gave her about rehearsal. What you're gonna if there's somebody in your life that you're worried about bumping into there are used for somebody like that for me. And I think everybody has someone in the back of their mind.

They're like, oh my god, dear god, please do not let me bump into them. Please not let me see them. And for me, that used to be my college remate.

We had a huge falling out after we graduated, partially, i'd say, mostly my doing. We went back and forth with letters. This would have been thirty three years ago, and I think she's complete, but I certainly was not complete.

And I have thought a lot about what I would do if I bombed into her. And I used to be scared of IT until I did this. You just need to figure out how you're gona handle the situation.

That way you're not cut off guards. You've prepared for IT. It's something researchers call A B planning plan a is i'm not going to see the person.

I'm not going to open to the person, right? What what do you do if you do? You have plan b in your back pocket because you've rehearsed IT.

You thought about IT know exactly how you're going to react because you've already rehearsal IT and that means IT removes the concern from the back of your subconscious fine and IT also empowers you because you've taken control and you now are gonna have an award moment because you will know what you're gonna so that take away number eight, rehearse what you're gonna now. Number nine, we're get near the end here. I told you there was a lot packed into that coaching session.

You don't need another person in order to get complete. I don't need to bump into my friend to feel complete. I was the value in our friendship ending, and so I accept that I will welcome her with a huge hug if I ever see.

I don't even know if I would be greeted that way, but that is how I am gonna respond. I've learned from my behavior. I have forgiven myself, and so i've moved on.

But another person's behavior is all you need. You see when the person ended IT, when they lied to you, when they did what they end. That's all the data points you need in order to be complete.

And the other thing that you need to do is claim and identify the signs that you ignored, or in my case, own and take responsibility for the toxic behavior that you engaged in. And then the best form of apology is honestly changing yourself for the Better. A changing behavior is the best apology that you could give yourself and the best apology you could give anybody else.

And finally, in life, there will be many things that you do with that you regret. I just named a bunch. now.

I don't like the person that I was in high school, college or law school, because I didn't know I was dealing with childhood trauma. I had ever gotten any kind of professional counseling. I didn't even know that's what the issue was.

I'm not proud of the fact that I cheated on former boyfriends, are not proud of the way that I showed up in friendships. And I definitely regret squaring opportunities that I had in college in moscow because I just didn't take full advantage of everything that was in front of me because I couldn't. I hadn't dealt with the deeper issues yet.

But here's the thing about regret. What you'll actually regret are the things you didn't do. So if you've been thinking about moving away finally from your hometown, you will regret IT if you don't, you will regret IT if you don't go back to school, you'll regret IT if you. Don't start dating again. You'll regret IT if you don't take your health more seriously.

You'll regret IT if you don't start saving for that incredible trip that you've always wanted to take even though, you know, I might take you five or six years to say for IT, don't let your fears hold you back from doing the things that you know in your heart you want to do. And that brings me all the way full circle to the very beginning of our conversation and the two major truths I told you that we are going to talk about. The first one is how you feel about someone or something is very different than how that person or place makes you feel.

Say that, again, how you feel about someone else is very different than how that person makes you feel. Put the weight of your decision and how the person makes you feel. Katrine's acts made her feel angry, rejected, disrespected. That's where he needs to put the weight when she's making a decision about what she's gna move toward next. And the same thing true about where he lives.

How does inDiana maker feel right now? Well, IT makes you feel small and stuck and like she's shrinking and no longer growing, pay attention to that and put the weight of your decision in how that place is making you feel. Now you know what to move toward.

And the second, and this is the biggest truth of them all, you must know the difference between what the right decision is in your heart versus your fear of making that decision. Always find the courage to make the decision that is in your heart, because you will never, ever regret IT. Now, one thing that I would regret if I didn't do IT right now, as I would deeply regret, not telling you that I love you, so in case no one else tells you today, I want to tell you that I love you. I believe in you, am so grateful to talk to you twice a week, and I believe in your ability to take these ten take away and two truths about life and apply them to go create a Better life for yourself. Already have talked in a few days.

Oh, one more thing. It's the legal guage. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. IT is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapy or other qualified .

professional .

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