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cover of episode I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work

I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work

2023/1/30
logo of podcast The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Mel Robbins Podcast

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Jennifer (听众)
M
Mel Robbins
一位专注于领导力和个人成长的著名_motivational speaker_和播客主持人。
Topics
Mel Robbins: 婚姻关系的维系需要双方共同的努力,单方面的付出无法改变现状。婚姻中会有美好的时期和充满挑战的时期,重要的是双方都愿意共同努力克服困难。不要轻易放弃,应该尝试修复关系,即使最终无法挽回,努力尝试修复也能带来积极的结果,例如更健康的分手或离婚,以及更有效的共同抚养子女。 在婚姻中,应该保持对伴侣的好奇心和兴趣,并尝试了解伴侣不为人知的一面。积极庆祝伴侣的成功和成就,对关系的维系至关重要。积极回应伴侣的好消息,能够增强彼此的情感联系。在生活中加入更多乐趣,可以增强夫妻关系。及时处理关系中的小问题,避免小问题累积成大问题。婚姻治疗可以帮助人们更好地了解彼此,并改善关系。如果经济条件不允许婚姻治疗,也可以尝试其他方法来改善关系,例如一起参加线上课程或阅读书籍。 不要向孩子倾诉对伴侣的不满,应该直接与伴侣沟通解决问题。在婚姻中,应该主动承担责任,并积极沟通自己的需求。不要总是指责对方,应该尝试理解对方的感受和想法。要学会换位思考,并尝试从对方的角度看待问题。 如果伴侣不愿意共同努力,那么这段关系可能难以维系。但即使如此,也要继续努力,并最终做出适合自己的选择。 Jennifer: 婚姻艰难而独特,值得坚持下去,而不是仅仅因为文化压力或为了孩子而选择离开。当代社会关于婚姻的建议似乎从“为了孩子而留下”转变为“为了自己快乐而离开”,但还存在另一种视角,即基于自身价值观和内心感受而选择留下并努力经营婚姻。

Deep Dive

Chapters
Mel Robbins shares her personal experience and insights on making relationships work, emphasizing the importance of consistent effort and addressing issues directly. She highlights the shift from the outdated advice of 'staying for the kids' to the current trend of 'leaving to be happy,' urging listeners to find a balance and work through challenges.
  • Importance of consistent effort in relationships
  • Addressing issues directly instead of silently retreating
  • The outdated advice of 'staying for the kids' vs. the current trend of 'leaving to be happy'
  • The importance of self-reflection and doing the work to repair a relationship

Shownotes Transcript

In this episode, I’m getting brutally honest with you about relationships. 

 

Our conversation begins with a question from a listener who asked me for advice on how to make your relationship go the distance in this messy modern world.

 

I’ve always shied away from giving relationship advice, mainly because after 26 years of marriage, I know the only secret is this: it takes a lot of consistent work.

 

I also don’t consider myself an “expert” on the topic because our relationship seems to always need attention. It’s so easy to silently retreat to your corners and not address the issues. And there were years where we did just that.

 

In fact, over the past few years, Chris and I have been working through some really heavy issues with a couples therapist.

 

Today I share very personal revelations I’ve had about my own role in causing problems between us. After all we’ve been through, I’m really proud of my husband, Chris, and me for making it this long and doing the work to make it better.

 

In the process of working hard to improve our relationship, I learned six powerful lessons that I felt compelled to share with you. Not because I hold the magic wand, but because I hope these lessons will save you the pain and heartaches I’ve caused myself and my husband.

 

No matter what kind of relationship you might be in, working on, struggling with, or hoping to save, these six lessons will provide a roadmap to make it better.

 

Whether you are married, dating, divorced, happily single, or experiencing a falling out with a friend, this episode will have something for you.

 

About halfway through, another listener asks,

 

What do I do if my partner doesn’t want to do the work?”

 

In that case, there’s just one rule for when it’s time for you to move on.

 

Oh, one more thing, if you and your partner are having a hard time… Share this episode with them. It’s a simple way to open the door for a much-needed conversation.

 

Xo Mel 

 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

 

  • 0:30: The one question you often ask that I put off answering for a long time.
  • 3:30: Here’s the hard truth you should know about my marriage.
  • 6:30: Here’s what I think about “staying in a marriage for the kids”
  • 8:30: The concerning relationship trend I see happening.
  • 15:00: Would I be better off without my husband?
  • 18:15: This is the only way relationships work out.
  • 24:30: What I was doing wrong in my own marriage.
  • 28:00: 6 pieces of advice for any relationship.
  • 37:30: Here’s why the way you react to your partner’s good news matters.
  • 43:00: What do you do when your partner isn’t growing with you?

 

 

 

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