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cover of episode Therapist Reveals Why You Struggle With Relationships & How to Let More Love Into Your Life

Therapist Reveals Why You Struggle With Relationships & How to Let More Love Into Your Life

2023/7/6
logo of podcast The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Mel Robbins Podcast

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People
D
Dr. Marisa Franco
M
Mel Robbins
一位专注于领导力和个人成长的著名_motivational speaker_和播客主持人。
Topics
Mel Robbins: 本期节目探讨了依恋风格的概念及其对人际关系的影响,强调了了解自身及他人依恋风格的重要性,并提供了改善人际关系和建立更安全依恋的策略。节目中,Mel Robbins 分享了她与家人的相处经验,以及如何利用依恋风格理论来改善家庭关系。她还与 Dr. Marisa Franco 进行了深入的访谈,探讨了不同依恋风格的特征、表现以及应对策略。 Mel Robbins 结合自身经验,生动地阐述了焦虑型依恋在人际关系中的挑战,以及如何通过理解自身依恋风格来更好地与他人相处。她还强调了安全型依恋的重要性,并鼓励听众努力建立更安全、更健康的依恋模式。 Dr. Marisa Franco: Dr. Marisa Franco 详细解释了四种依恋风格(安全型、焦虑型、逃避型和混乱型)的特征、成因和在人际关系中的表现。她指出,安全型依恋的人能够舒适地给予和接受爱,信任他人,并能有效处理冲突;焦虑型依恋的人害怕被抛弃,容易过度解读他人的行为;逃避型依恋的人不信任他人,避免亲密关系;混乱型依恋的人则在焦虑和逃避之间摇摆不定。Franco 博士还探讨了如何识别不同依恋风格,以及如何与不同依恋风格的人相处。她强调,理解他人的依恋风格有助于避免将事情个人化,从而减少冲突和误解。 Franco 博士还提供了许多实用的建议,帮助人们改善自身的依恋模式,例如关注身体感觉、进行自我表达、寻找安全感等。她特别强调了接纳自身情绪的重要性,以及如何通过练习来提高接纳爱的能力。她还解释了为什么人们容易将被触发与坠入爱河混淆,以及如何区分两者。

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Chapters
Introduction to attachment styles, focusing on the secure attachment style and its characteristics.
  • Secure attachment style is comfortable with giving and receiving love.
  • Secure individuals trust others and can handle conflict calmly.
  • They have strong perspective-taking skills and assume they are lovable.

Shownotes Transcript

In this episode, you are going to learn why you struggle in certain relationships and how to let more love in.

 

Whether you struggle in your friendships or your romantic relationships, or you don’t feel connected to your family or the community where you live, today's conversation will give you the insight and tools that you need to create better and more loving relationships everywhere.

 

Dr. Marisa Franco is a NYT bestselling author, award-winning therapist, and professor of psychology at The University of Maryland. She dedicated her professional practice to the study of connections and systemic loneliness.

 

What will really catch your attention is her research on attachment styles and what they look like in real time, which has been an incredible game changer for me and my personal relationships, particularly with my husband.

 

Attachment style theory goes way beyond "love languages," and once you know yours, you’ll be less triggered by others around you.

 

Understand the attachment styles of others, and you’ll take things less personally.

 

In today’s episode, you’re getting a complete guide to:

 

  • What attachment styles are and how they look in real life.
  • The questions to ask yourself to figure out what your style is.
  • How to tell if you’re hanging out with the right people.
  • The one thing avoidant attachment people have a really hard time doing.
  • How your attachment style determines who you’re attracted to.
  • Why you might be confusing being triggered with being in love.
  • Key strategies to start developing a secure attachment style yourself.

 

After listening to this episode, you’ll see the people in your life through an entirely new lens and with an abundance of compassion.

 

Xo Mel

 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • 4:00: Let’s begin with the first style. What is a secure attachment style?
  • 5:10: What does anxious attachment look like?
  • 6:00: Avoidant attachment-type people have a hard time trusting.
  • 6:30: Those who experienced high-trauma situations are more likely to have this style.
  • 8:00: What do these attachment styles look like in real life?
  • 11:45: Is it easier to identify attachment styles in yourself or others?
  • 17:20: How do you have a relationship with someone who has an avoidant style?
  • 20:30: Can you have more than one attachment style?
  • 22:00: How can you develop a more secure attachment?
  • 26:00: Avoidantly attached people actually do have an underlying need for connection.
  • 31:30: These physical symptoms can be a result of your attachment style.
  • 35:45: These activities will help you start connecting with your body again.
  • 38:20: Here’s how you can create a ‘safe’ space for someone with avoidant attachment.
  • 47:50: Why do we always seem to date the same kind of people?
  • 49:40: Do you confuse being triggered with being in love?
  • 54:45: So how do you find securely attached people to hang out with?
  • 57:45: Do this one hack every day to start developing a secure attachment yourself.
  • 59:00: This is why understanding attachment styles has been a game changer.

 

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