We're sunsetting PodQuest on 2025-07-28. Thank you for your support!
Export Podcast Subscriptions
cover of episode You’ve Got Money All Wrong: A Step by Step Guide to Living a Rich Life

You’ve Got Money All Wrong: A Step by Step Guide to Living a Rich Life

2023/4/27
logo of podcast The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Mel Robbins Podcast

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
M
Mel Robbins
一位专注于领导力和个人成长的著名_motivational speaker_和播客主持人。
R
Ramit Sethi
Topics
Mel Robbins: 本期节目探讨了人们对金钱的普遍误解,认为金钱不仅仅是银行账户里的数字,更关乎你与金钱的关系以及你对生活的体验。Ramit Sethi 提供了一个简单易行的步骤,帮助人们改变对金钱的看法,设计理想生活,并利用金钱实现目标。 Ramit Sethi: 他强调要关注如何运用金钱去过你想要的生活,而不是仅仅关注金钱本身。他反对传统的预算方法,认为追踪每一笔开销是毫无意义的。他分享了自己曾经的失败经验,以及如何从中吸取教训,并帮助他人改变对金钱的认知。他提出要同时关注金钱数字和心理层面,并提供了一些实用的工具和策略,帮助人们改善金钱心理,从而过上更富足的生活。他认为,即使负债累累,也可以定义和追求自己的富足生活,关键在于找到让你感到快乐的事情,并制定计划去实现它。

Deep Dive

Chapters
Introduction to the concept of a rich life and the guest, Ramit Sethi.
  • Most people have been thinking about money all wrong.
  • The amount of money in the bank is only a small part of your relationship with money.
  • Ramit Sethi is a NYT best-selling author and finance advisor.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

The malos podcast is proudly sponsored by omega insurance are exclusive insurance partner. As amica says, empathy is our best policy. That's why they'll go above and beyond to tailor your insurance coverage to best fit your needs, whether you're on the road, at home or traveling along life journey, their friendly and knowledgeable representatives will work with you to ensure you have the right cover in place.

Amec a will provide you with piece of mind. Go to amica outcome and get a today looking for perfect gift for everyone on your list. Egg nike, bareaud dreams, kate spade, new york and more are in north from rex stores now find everything on their wish, less all in one place.

Head to your nord stream rack store to score great brands, great Prices, the greatest gifts of all time. Hey, it's a friend mall. And today's episode of the male robbin's podcast is rich with tools and strategies to help you make more money.

Let's do this thing. Okay, I have been counting down the days for this particular episode because today I have somebody on the show that I have admired from a far for a very long time. I don't know there are people that you follow online that you're just like, gosh, I would just love to meet this person in real life one day.

Well, today is that day for you and for me to meet one of the most inspiring experts and human beings out there when IT comes to being rich and not just rich with money, but rich with experiences and happiness and building a life that you just love. This is a guy that is a new york times best selling author. Millions of people come to him to help them change the way they think about money, to get out of debt, to start businesses, to retire early, and most importantly, to imagine design and create a rich life.

He has a brand new netflix series, how to get rich, where he is coaching six people, just like you and me on these exact things. Who am I talking about? I'm talking about none other than rome.

He has a simple step by step process that he's gna walk us through at zero cost today for how you can change the way you think about money, how you can design a completely different type of life, and the four simple things that you need to pay attention to in order to make that a reality. I've got sweating palms. I'm so excited to talk to this guy.

So let's just jump into IT. Do we have here rome? Oh, my god. So excited that you're here for me. Thank you for being here.

Thanks for having me.

IT is so exciting to meet you. I have been a fan of your work for so long. I have stock your website because that is amazing. I can't believe we ever met until now.

Why is IT? I'm trying to figure out out. But regardless, i'm excited that we get a chance to do IT today.

Me too, me too. And i'm really excited for everybody to hear what you're about to teach us because when I think about somebody who could fundamentally change the way that a person thinks about money and the way they use money to live and experience what you call a rich life, you're the one person on the planet that can do IT. I mean, they are not just pass in out netflix shows everybody.

Well, thank you. I love, I love talking about this. It's kind of weird. Usually you don't think about someone actually loving talking about money and it's actually you okay, listen, i've written a book about roth iras and automation .

and all that time my .

god lap do exactly me too, and one who wrote a book on IT. So what are much more excited to talk about now is how to actually apply the money so you can live your rich life. And to me is that beautiful tapestry of life of I love eating out or I love travel and to be able to go deeper on that and to use money to do IT ah what could be more exciting?

Oh my god. H and you know what else I love about you? I love that you come at this after fucking things up with money. And so I would love to have you take us all the way back to two thousand and four where you are a student, stanford. But when you get your first scholarship check, you do something fucking stupid with.

well, I didn't think he was stupid at the time. I thought I was a genius. So here I am in high school.

So like late ninety nine, two thousand, and I grew up the sun of indian immigrant parents, and they came from india, built their life here. My dad work. My mom stayed home with us.

And when IT came time for college, they told us, know, of course, you're going to college, but we don't have money, so you've got to find scholarships for IT. They just told this point, Blake, and we may not have had a lot of money for us. Eating out was a thing we did once every sixty eight weeks, always with a cup on.

We would never buy enough drinks for the whole family. We'd have two, and we would share IT. But they taught us how to work.

And they taught us this idea that if you work hard enough, usually the money stuff will take care of itself. So culturally, we grew up knowing educations important and and personally, I love systems. I love building a system and doing the work once.

So I don't have to do IT again. That's why I don't like budgets. I don't have a budget. I don't think anybody should have a budget for that matter. And we can talk about that because who wants to track the Price of apples for the rest of your life? That sounds like hell.

Does anybody other than a cpa or a controller for a company actually track a budget? We just there.

no. And in fact, some of the very people who tell amErica to keep budgets don't even keep a budget themselves. wo.

So let's just get real. So here I am. I applied for sixty five scholarships, and I built the system.

So I ended up doing a pretty rapidly. By the end, IT was taking me like an hour application. I started to get scholarships.

And how many of the sixty five did you end?

I probably got ten to twelve amaze, maybe fifty. And some were small, some were like a thousand dollars, some were extremely large, which ended up paying undergrad and grad school. Yeah, so I was very fortunate.

But IT again, you know, if I hadn't gotten all those scholarships, I still had plan b, plan c, plan d and and I think we all should have a plan b because life doesn't always work out the way we think it's going to. So here I am. I get this scholarship check and they they wrote the check to me, mr. Remede, at high school kid in ninety ninety nine when I was reading was his dick magazines about text tock, I go cool. I'm going to invest this scholarship money because .

i'm a genius .

of nineteen ninety nine.

Yes, not the year that everything crashed.

Well, IT hadn't crashed when I invested. IT crashed right after I invested. okay? So I learned some really valuable lessons.

First of all, I lost half my money immediately, and that humbled me. And I think when these things happen, IT gives us a chance to choose which path we wanted take. For me, I could have been like, investing is a scam, and I never doing IT again.

A lot of us feel that way. Luckily, I will say I was so fortunate that my parents, especially my dad, really encourage me, hey, try to figure what happened. Look, learn.

And also in the grand scheme, losing that money, while a lot of money at the time ended up being a little bit of money in the grand scheme. So here I was at stanford. Now i'm studying social psychology, uh, human behavior, persuasion.

I'm reading all the books about personal finance, investing, compound interests and allocation. And i'm looking around and i'm going, the emperor has no clothes. What does I mean? All the advice that we get about money.

Tell me if this sounds familiar to anybody listening don't spend money on latest, don't buy new genes, don't go on vacation in fact, hold your money in a little cave and in one day when you're ninety three years old, maybe, just maybe, society will give you permission to go enjoy IT what kind of horrible life is that? And here I am, you know, Young guy in college. I want to go out with my friends.

My dream at the time was to be able to buy around to drinks for my friends, not worry about IT. That was a to, not a cuba, exactly. And so I ve I love that you said that because as I got a little older and I graduated, you know, my rich life was in my early twenties.

Now IT was literally to be able to go to restaurant and order an appetizer without worrying about the Price, because when we were a kid, we couldn't afford to do IT. And what is that? Ten box, maybe fifteen box. And IT felt incredible. So in fact, let me ask you, when you think about your early, formative twice, what was a thing for you that you were just like that feels almost irrationally amazing to be able to do?

um. I guess, to go on a vacation somewhere warm .

that I could .

pay for with my friends, like I saw, not pay for them. Meaning, like, you see, all these kids go to spring break. yeah. And I worked during college, but I needed my parents to spot me the money, or I needed the invitation from another person's parents who are going to take their daughter somewhere, and he got to bring a friend.

And so for me, I think a, quote, rich life, which we're going to unpack, everybody said they understand what you're talking about, was like, wow, IT would be pretty incredible if I could have my own money, not for textbooks, not for gas, but to actually buy a plane ticket and go to a hotel and be on one of those spring break. Things that I see. I love that each .

one of us has something, and that usually is in a formative age for us, that we vividly remember. I remember sitting in the back of a taxi in new york, and back then, you know, those taxi ticker, things used to tick up every quarter mile, eighteen a mile. And sometimes you're just going, oh my god, like, how high is this gonna before I get there? And of course, I don't think about that now.

But back then, part of a rich life for me was to build and not have to worry about taking a taxi, especially on a hot August day, walking out of the subway, going to a meeting and dripping in sweat. Okay, so I kind of love this, this idea of where we all start from. It's usually something modest and ultra specific, and we can smell IT. We can remember exactly what the people around us look like and we're saying, and that really informs where we came from, which is can also inform what our rich life is today and possibly even tomorrow.

I would love for you to talk to the person listening and and guide them through the process of locating the score memory so that they have that with them as we move forward. And you help us to find this philosophy that you've created called a rich life.

I love IT. Let's do IT OK. We're going to start in your early twice OK, and we're gona zig ag throughout our conversation today.

We're going to go back to childhood and we're going to go to the future. We'll do IT all because that's what money is about. It's about understanding the seasons of life and how money interact.

Oh, I fuck love this.

So so in my twice, again, that irrational joy came from being able to buy appetizers. And for everybody here, I want you to think about, you may have been in college, you may have been working at your first job. What was the thing where you said to yourself, I wish I could do that, or am I ever going to be able to do that? And remember, it's not usually a big thing.

It's not I want to take around the world trip and stay in all these fancy places. It's often an appetizer. It's being able to pay for your own vacation.

IT might know a lot of people joke about getting the walk at chipotle. IT might actually be that there's nothing shameful about a small, vivid aspiration that you had. How do you think everyone listening is is going along with this journey so far? Now I .

think good. Okay, my producers like OK fta, we got like I think we're all right there. I have a question to ask you to go little deeper in this.

I would love to ask you about the way in which your formative years as a child and what you experienced as your parents, emotion or conversation around money, how that impacts your mindset around IT. And know, i'm asking that because I feel like I must be somehow related to this core memory of, I just wish I could go and take myself macao. I wish I could buy the vocabulary.

I wish I didn't have to worry about the needle on the tank of gas, getting to empty and not being able to fill IT up. And so for me personally, my father was the first person in his family to go to college, and he had to pay for IT, and my mother also went to college and had to pay for IT, and he ended up dropping out to have me. And then my dad got in the medical school, and my mom worked nights for the R.

R. S. And we lived in public housing while he was a medical student. And when he was a resident and date ohio, I was in fourth grade when my parents were able to purchase their first home and my dad did not pay off his medical school loans until late into his thirties. But here's the interesting thing about IT. Even though we struggled, we never went out to eat when I was a kid, not until middle school anyway. And I never remember my parents being stressed out about money.

What do you remember them saying about money?

nothing. I don't remember them talking about IT, and I just had this sense because there is this like is about IT that if you need something, you figure out how to get IT. 嗯, that there wasn't a lot of grapes or comply, and I know they were trying to make the ends meet.

They come from very blue color, modest families, hard working. They're very hard working. And so I just kind of got this thing like monkeys there when IT and not need worry about IT not like I was spooked, ed, or anything that was not at at all yeah but they didn't pass on the stress to meet.

Now Chris family had planning a money, but there is a huge dialogue. You don't deserve that. We don't have IT.

You're not going to be spoiled and so his but is so clenched when IT comes to money, like the guys, like how much the broker I cost my dude, have you seen our checking account you could afford IT. Like he literally adopted this, this kind of gripping mentality. How does that impact the mindset that you have your early childhood deers.

So this, you just give us a fantastic journey into your childhood, and if you don't mind, gonna die a little bit deep and shine a light on what you just told me OK. So a lot of this comes from my work on my podcast, and of course, on the netflix show with individuals and couples. And many people believe that money is simply about numbers.

And of course, the numbers are a very small part of how we experience money. So when you say your family never really talked about money, but there was a sort of ease about IT, i'm listening. I'm going okay.

And then IT clicks when you tell me they were blue color, and they taught us that if you work hard, money will come. Okay, that's a cohesive belief. I totally agree.

Sometimes I speak to couples where one person in a couple group, let's say, White color, maybe upper middle class and the other grew up working class, blue collar. Their beliefs conflict and they can figure out why, right? They think it's about all he spends too much at target or he his truck is too expensive.

But really, there's this belief, particularly with different class structures, which we never really talk about a, which is if something's hard, lets just grind harder and you can grind harder. There's no doubt about that. But there is a certain point where grinding a little harder just doesn't work. You have to, you have to change the way you think about money. For example, did your parents talk about investing is compound interest when you were growing up?

Oh my god.

exactly. And so some of the folks who I speak to, they said we were talking about investing at age five around the dinner table. Here's what happens if you put a quarter in the bank.

Now imagine if a couple is meeting and wonder been talking about investing since eight, five and the other has never talked about investment. That's what we discover when we peel back the curtain and we see how beliefs affect us. So if you're listening, the question I would ask you is what conversations do you remember your family having when you were Young about money? What phrases?

Here's some examples that might sound familiar. We can't afford IT. We don't talk about money in this family ah.

We're not like those people. We don't need a fancy car vacation eating out and these sound heard. These are your friends, her.

these i'm not because i'm like, this is exactly what people need to hear. At least I need to hear this. I mean, my jaws already on the floor. We had to hear a quick word from our sponsors, but I cannot wait to continue this conversation and everybody stay with us.

Because when we come back, I want to ask for me, what are the consequences of growing up in a household where you constantly hear the words we can afford this? Oh, i'm so excited to tell you about one of our sponsors or a friends. I love them.

why? Because like me, probably took a million photos this year. Oakly graduated from high school. Chris, I went on this vacation together.

Our family climbed about katon where the photos are Normally they be on my phone, but not anymore. Why I have an ora digital photo frame. IT sits on my kitchen counter.

I gave one of my parents, it's on their kitchen counter. I gave IT to candle, who lives in a oakly up in his dorm room, or is a digital frame, looks and feels like a Normal picture frame. But check this out.

You just send photos to IT and all the sudden your photos are right there everywhere and IT updates all the time and your family can update IT. I freak love IT. It's the best gift to give yourself. It's the best gift to give everyone else.

And for a limited time, visit ora frames dot com and get forty five five dollars off or as best selling cover mat frames by using the code ml a cheko that's A U R A frame stock com promotion de mail. This exclusive black friday cyber monday deal is their best to the year. So don't you dare terms and conditions apply as A B to b marketer.

You know how noisy the ads space can be if your message isn't targeted to the right audience, IT just disappears into the noise. With linton ads, you can precisely reach the professionals who are more likely to find your ad relevant. With linked targeting capabilities, you can reach them by job title, industry company and more.

You'll have direct access to build relationships with decision makers. A billion members, one hundred and thirty million senior level executives and ten million sea level executives stand out with linton ads and start converting your B2B aud ience. And the high quality leads today, live, learn.

First hand is that lincoln can help you find the people who can actually move the needle for your business. I can't imagine working without IT start converting your B2B aud ience in the hig h qua lity lea ds tod ay. They'll even give you a hundred dollar credit on your next campaign.

Go to linton 点 com flash mail to claim your credit。 That's linton dcom flash ml terms and conditions apply linked in the place to be to be. This show is answered by Better help for me decembers all about cozy nights at home, i'm talk and soft blankets, hot tea sinking into the couture my family nearby and the fireplace were in.

There's something about that kind of comfort that just feels good, isn't there? But you wanted, know what? Comfort doesn't have to be something you only feel for a month.

And if I be an ice, the best gift i've ever given myself is the kind of comfort that comes from working on myself, especially through therapy. It's a way to keep that cozy, grounded, wrapped up in a blanket, feeling all you're long, no matter what life throws your way. So if you've been thinking about starting therapy, check out Better help.

It's a super easy way to get started. You just take a quick question er to match you with a license erie and it's all online. You can switch therapies anytime without any extra to find the right person for you find comfort this december with Better help. There's is a Better help to come more Robins today to get ten percent off your first month as Better help H L P 的 comm smile。 but.

Welcome back. I melt Robins. I am so loving today's episode. I am here with rome. City is in your time is best selling author. His book is called I will teach you how to be rich. And his new netflix show is how to get rich. Now he was just starting to dive deep into the topic of your money is psychology and how to change IT ever me, you had just said that you hate IT when parents say we can't afford that, you want them to stop saying that. why?

Here's the consequence of that. okay. So you hear the most common ones, we can afford IT parts, just say this, like IT just comes out of their mouth. Parents, you ve got to stop because let me tell you what happens.

They end up forty years later, talking to me and they heard, we can't afford IT ten thousand times growing up, just reflexively, oh, I want shoes we can afford. I want a trapper keeper we can afford. And then this person, hopefully they end up in a pretty nice job.

They set up some investments. Maybe you've done well. They have some decent amount of money. They come here to go.

Why do I still feel guilty ordering a salad when I eat out? And my partner is saying, we have the money. Look at our checking account. why? Well, trace IT all the way back to conversations you had starting at age six, we can afford IT. And IT really shows this key principle of money, which is the way you feel about money is highly uncorrelated to how much you've got in the bank. Again.

that again.

yeah, the way you feel about money is highly uncorrelated to how much you've got in the bank. Most of us believe if I have five thousand dollars more or fifty thousand dollars more or five hundred thousand years, finally, i'll feel safe and i'm here to deliver some unfortunate news, which is that's never gonna en. Now you can change the way you feel about money.

You can. But a number in the bank is never gona change your feelings about IT because it's uncorrelated. You've got to work.

If you want to live a Richard life, you've got to do two things at the same time. One, you've got to understand the numbers, the basic numbers of finance. You've got to know your savings rate.

You've got to understand the rule of seventy two. This stuff is actually not complicated. It's really fun. We can talk about them and give you a couple of ratios is easy stuff. It's like a six greater .

could i'm already zoning out on that? We will get the first. I want to hear the second.

The second one is you've got to simultaneously work on improving your money psychology. You've got to put a practice in the place to start feeling good about money because so much of society tries to get us to feel bad.

You do this to this. You're going to be doing very I love this because whether you're listening right now and you've got millions of dollars in the bank or you are nearly a million dollars in debt like my husband and I used to be over a decade ago, starting with changing your psychology around money changes absolutely everything. Burma's gone to teach us how to change our psychology. So where exactly do we start?

Yeah, let's imagine that it's the first day and you've decided to join the soccer team. OK people come with, some people have fancy issues, some people have no shoes, some people are really physically fit, others haven't run at all in years. And for this metaphor, i'll be the coach OK. What i'm going to say is we're all in this together and we're all gonna start on the same page.

okay.

So i'd like to start from a place of we're going to have fun with this. I'll tell you what we're not going to do. I'm not going to say pull out this forty six part spreadsheet and lets a go through all you're spending.

Now everyone's going to leave that and I don't even want to. So when it's irrelevant, instead, I want to do something and exercise together with you, me and everybody listening OK about what I call your money dials. So i'm going to ask you, lets do this together and everybody, I want you to follow along. So melt, if I asked you, what is something you love to spend money on, not like, but truly looking at smile, what would you be?

Oh, I love buying dessert. I like, now that I i've started, i've gotten not a debt. I make a lot of money, my favorite thing. And I always joke that this is my version of a 兰博 gini。 When I go out with a group of people, I orde every dessert on the menu.

OK. What does that get? You tell me about that.

why IT feels really decadent and fun and IT allows me to sample things without committing. And it's a way to, uh, take care of everybody at the table because everybody kind of secretly wished that, you know, somebody would order one of the distance. And it's a way to to relax kind of that grip.

Like, o am only allowed one dessert, so I gotta pick the one. It's just like a playful way. That's kind of ridiculous.

But every time I do IT, everyone's like, oh my god, that's so fun. And so I just love doing that. I'm also a massive gift giver. So I love spending my money on other people and orchestrating gifts and creating experiences for people OK. Those are my two big things I love IT.

I I hear so many things that i'm so thankful I get to highlight some of the things I just heard. So IT sounds like your, what I would call a money dial. The thing you love is either gifting or eating out desserts. Would that be fair? Okay, pick one which, which is the one that gets you really excited.

嗯。 Gosh, I don't know.

I kind of think it's desserts because you spend .

like ten minutes talking about this .

is usually very obvious like people light up when they talk .

about because I feel like IT is a gift, nobody does IT for themselves. And it's ridiculous like why would you order all the deserts knowing everyone's going to take one bite? Yeah because we can and because it's fun.

It's very under .

yeah IT makes me feel like a kid almost.

Okay, I love IT. So here we have male in like a willink, a chocolate factory, just like we get to get at all. And it's very abundant.

So for everybody listening, the most common money dial, or thing you love to spend money on is eating out. Number two, most common is travel. Number three is health and wellness.

Number four is convenience, which happens to be my money dial, and there's a variety of others you can search online. Okay, so that's great for everybody listening. You should identify the thing you love and go into that detail.

If you're doing IT with a partner. Notice how I asked why. Tell me what what does that mean to you? Get curious. And in the second question I have for ema, E, S, if you were able to quad group your spend on your money die, what would that look like and feel like for you?

I'd send those desserts to everybody in the restaurant.

Wow, tell me more.

Just kind of spread that exuberance and joy and this kind of psychologically, it's not financially extravagant if you can afford to do IT like it's not like you went out and spent two hundred thousand dollars on a car. But there's this level of surprise and exuberance and extravagance. There's delight, their surprise. There's the fact that IT tastes s good, that if I spread that through a whole restaurant, I think the positive vibes that would go out and the positive energy that would swell in that space to be freaking unbelievable.

amazing. Okay, i'm going to ask you to take that and extend IT even more. Oh, OK, because I know you're very successful.

So you know, let's say you eat once a month, you could do that. No problem. IT wouldn't even affect your bottom line. Let's turn IT up even more, not quite gruel. Let's ten exit, think expensively, think beyond the confines of a restaurant.

Um well the first thing that came to mind was the benin Jerry free cone day OK.

That they .

celebrate the IT was this year they're forty fifth anniversary by having a day where they give everybody a free ice cream. If they show up how I make typically support a charity, right? Yeah, I think that's prety cool.

So you would do that like a day of, let's say, outside of school or something or or some charity, you're just going to get an ice screen ck and rent IT and do that.

Well, when you said school, I was like, how cool would I be if, like, everybody got deserted school for free? Okay, you know.

I I love your answers. There is a cohesive thread that goes to them. It's it's generosity, it's surprise, it's delight.

And IT just happens to be around food. But i'm willing to bet in your life there's a bunch of other things like that. OK, yeah. So for everybody listening, take this example we just heard and apply IT to yourself. Let me let me give you some examples that will help.

So for most people.

like I said, eating out as their number one money down, and when I ask him to quite group that they almost always say the same, like pg rated joke, they go, well, I probably have to watch what I eat because i'd be eating up four times a week and I, and then I go, alright, listen, that's a very linear thinking. The fact that you eat once so you're going to quite grouped, you're just going to eat out four times. That's linear.

Like, okay, you could eat out four times a week, but are you going to eat the same place? And and people pause, they start thinking, oh, wait a minute. okay.

So if it's like to player or whatever IT is that you eat? Wow, okay. And I remember this Young man in dc.

I was speaking there, and he said the same joke, and I had the same unamused response. And I go, where would you eat? And he thought, first, second.

And he goes, you know what? I have a list of every mission and start restaurant in dc. Young guy, I go, well, okay, cool. You like food. He goes, yeah, I love IT.

I go, who would you take with you? And he got really quite the entire audience pin drop signs. And he goes, I would take my family.

why? Because they could never afford to eat places like that. Now that is a money dial.

That is a vision of what you love today. And IT could be modest, right? Buying deserve your friends. That's very generous, also pretty modest.

But when you understand, hey, where could I go with this? Could I turn my dialog? Two x four x ten ex, what would IT look like? IT wouldn't just be more of the same.

I might change the quality. I might change the frequency if I love clothes. As a Young woman in pacini, did I asked you going to still shop at the same place? hm. SHE goes? no.

And when we really explored and played, we came up with this idea that one day he could fly to italy with her mom, and they could get something customer made together in italy. Now he can do that today. He can do IT tomorrow. But now he has a vision of what excites her with money. That's how we get started.

Why is IT important to start with a vision that's exciting?

Because money is such a drag for most of us. When you think of money, what are the first words that come to mind? Yep, yep. Restriction, overwhelming. Too late. mistake. IT sucks.

So are we surprised that americans have terrible financial behavior? Well, i'm not really surprised when everything around us basically tells us don't pay to this until it's too late. I mean, it's more exciting to talk about flossing than IT is to talk about money that sucks. But if we start talking about, oh my god, I love to eat, i'm unapologetic about spending extravagant on the things I love. As long as I cut cost mercey sly on the things I don't, well, suddenly it's a lot more fun to talk about IT really .

is because I think there is so much shame that we Carry about money because there's all these expectations that you have about how much you should have, how much you should have by now, what you should have done with IT. If only that, I back back in the day, and apple, like, I miss these opportunities, I should have done this. I should have done that. And that sort of negative story that you keep reinforcing to yourself, that then has you got that keeps you fuck story, somebody to play and dream again because money is only psychology. It's sort of a vehicle to do those things exactly.

Yeah, I love what you said about the guaco lie example is that because we feel shame, because we feel like it's too late, our feel division narrow, almost like if you've ever felt like you're about to fame, everything shrink, and we shrink our own desires. So all often ask people, what is your rich life? And you know what they always say to me, they always go, I want to do what I want when I want, I go, oh, goo.

And then I go, wow. That's so interesting. I never heard that one, except for the eight million times I heard go.

So what do you want? And they are stumped because we never actually thought about what our rich life is. And so then know, i'm gentle. I want them to come to IT, but I also want to have a little fun with them.

I want to have fun with a two remote. So could you walk us through exactly how you answer that question? What is your rich life? yeah. Okay, good. So let's hear a short word from our sponsors and we're meet you're onna, walk us through that when we come back.

Have you noticed the experts on this podcast keep telling you and me over and over, if you want a Better life, you need Better sleep. And you can do that on an unsupportive, uncovered mattress that you've kept around for twenty years. I may think about IT.

You eat right exercise, you make a big moves in your life, and then you go and you flap down on a crappy, lumpy, gross mattress. I mean, come on now. As you push through the craziness of the holiday season, feeling well rested is extra important.

Sleeping on the right mattress, you deserve that mattress firm knows the importance of uninterrupted quality sleep and can match you with the right mattress for your best press. There are also around theyve got the top mattresses in the game and the cost per you see the mattress at a lower Price matters fermor matter. Plus get free and fast deliveries.

You'll be snoozing like a pro in no time. A good nights left is the fuel need to tackle every day with energy and confidence. This is a gift you need to give to yourself.

Get matched at metro firms, black friday sale and sleep at night text mail to seven, six, six, six, nine, three for one hundred dollars off your next purchase at transform exclusions apply. I love everything about the holidays, the lights, the coziness, the family time. But i'm going, to be honest, stand on top of shopping for everyone, not so much.

So I usually feel like them all over the place when holiday shopping season begins. But this I found skin holiday shopping. Oh my gosh, game changer.

It's now my one. Go to spot where I check off everyone on my list, and I don't have to worry about forgetting someone stressing over what to get. One of my absolute favorite finds the cose b.

It's super soft, warm and just perfect for holiday logic. Oh, and my other favorite, the soft, long sleep, said my new one, is in red sawyers already stolen that one. Now it's gone because she's got IT.

These pjs are buttery y soft super cos, and their new holiday colors are gorgeous. Shop skip holiday shop. Its skin that com available in styles for women, men, kids and even pets. If you having yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. If you place order, select ads in service and select the male bd drop down you, that s like to get the new iphone sixteen pro with a nt next up anytime.

It's like when you first light up the girl and think of all the mouth watering possibilities, learn how to get the new iphone sixteen pro with apple intelligence on a nt and the latest iphone with A T N T next up anytime A T N T connecting changes everything. Apple intelligence coming fall twenty twenty four, with theory and device languages set to U. S.

english. Some features and languages will be coming over the next year. Zero dollar offer may not be available on future iphones. Next up, anytime feature may be discontinued any time, subject to change. Additional fees, terms and restrictions apply C A T T I com ash iphone for details.

Hey, welcome back. I melt Robins, and I am loving the conversation today with rome city, right? He's help millions of people create rich lives. And his new netflix series is called hadgi rich. And he was just asking you and me to define for ourselves, what is your rich life for me? How do most people even answer that question?

Yeah we'll say something like, well, I guess like, you know, I would be cool if I had a big house one day, but doesn't not have to be a big, big house. IT could be small. IT could be a shack.

IT could be delayed. Ted, I don't even need anything. I go, what to hell? We're talking about your rich life, and you already shrunk your desires in five seconds.

I don't allow that. I go dream bigger. And then let's figure out if your finances support IT, what investments you need to make. And hey, maybe you're not going to get a nine bedroom place in the hamptons, but maybe you could get a beautiful place rented for a week or buy IT in ten years at a so we minimize ourselves .

unnecessarily. And then that cuts off our inspiration.

Yeah, nobody y's inspired by a tiny vision, nobodies inspired by the idea that who I could save five percent on coffee, who cares? That's not excited.

It's so true. I want to ask you a question on behalf of anyone that's listening that is up to their eyeballs in debt and is having trouble dreaming yeah and is trying to make ends meet. What is the concept of a rich life? Because we've covered the money dials. But I wanted just get a flat definition from you of what a rich life is and what of the steps you walk somebody through regardless of they are yeah to creating one.

A rich life is when you look at your life and you go, wow, this feels amazing. Now you can have a rich life and still be in debt. You can have a rich life and not be exactly where you want to be ultimately, but a rich life can be traveling two months a year.

IT can be buying a beautiful cashmere coat. A rich life can be picking up your kids from school every afternoon. The key is that your rich life is yours. It's not mine, it's not your friends, not your parents is yours.

And in fact, the more you carefully define your rich life and really turn those styles up and down, the more bewildering your rich life will be to other people. I'll give you an example from my own life. My rich life is really weird to other people, and that's exactly what I should be.

I love spending extravagant on travel. I'm a hotel guy. I love.

I have a list of hotels in all parts of the world. I know the exact room I wanna stay in. Like, I love IT.

I'm obsessed. That's my thing. I also love clothes. I love him. I spend a lot on IT. And so those things are things I spend extravasated on. On the other hand, my car is not that important to me.

And to give you a point of comparison, i've spent more in one year on travel, then I spent in twenty years on all of my car expenses added together. Wow, so that's crazy. That's, well, IT makes no sense to somebody listening.

And that's exactly how I should be. If you love camping, maybe you turn that dialog, you find a way to have a smaller cost for your rent or mortgage and instead you're going on camping. I don't know x weeks per year, you've got some place you go that nobody else knows about some equipment.

That's amazing. You take friends with you. Amazing, not my thing. I've got a reader, mine, who told me he retired in his studies with his wife. They travel around the country in an R I would like, but I love that it's their rich life.

yes. So are there particular questions other than the money dial that you would want us to ask ourselves or answer in order to start to really define IT? Because I agree with you, most people, when you ask them for real what you want, it's like it's hard.

It's a really big question. So yeah, what we can do is we can zoom in and out OK people, create some context around IT OK. I'm going to give you a few exercises that are really helpful.

Let's start big picture and then we will zoom really tight down to day to date now. So this is fun exercise. I did this one with my wife.

We SAT down and we said, let's create a ten year bucket list. So in our, in the next ten years, what do we want to do that would make this an amazing and rich ten years OK. So we took two separate piece paper.

We spent a few minutes, we rode IT down and then we came back. And compared to and this is a really cool opportunity to retaliate the way you talk about money, because it's dreamy, it's fun. You don't have to commit to anything.

So you want to get curious, you know, one of us is like, oh, I want to learn spanish and the other one goes, oh, cool. You want to do that online or like, would you want to go to mexico city and do an emerge? The other one, one of my things was I want to write a book at a hotel. Makes perfect sense. Well, I don't necessarily love writing, but if i'm gonna write a book, i'm gonna write IT in an amazing luxury hotel that I love.

Okay, cool. Now if you're single yeah or you're newly divorced or you've just graduated from college, do you recommend that you grab a friend or .

a sibling or body? The list of of things, and it's things that are exciting that you would look back on and be like war. That was a really cool ten years.

I remember that memorable. So the two of you have if you're in a partnership, you've ask each other. If you're solo, you're looking at and you're picking one that really jumps out of you don't overthink IT, it's the one that you go. I want to do that above all .

others in the next ten years. I gotto go to australia for a month in the next ten years. I don't not saying that's mine, but i'm just saying, yes. I what are some of the things you've seen from the millions of people that you have helped?

We want to take a family trip to italy. Super common. Everybody wants to go to italy like it's. And I just I love hearing IT because I then get to help them dimensionalize IT. Like italy alone is just a word I want to know.

What seat on the airplane are you flying? What season are you going? What are you wearing? Where are you eating? I want to know every detail to the point where we can almost smell IT because then IT becomes vivid and aspirational OK.

So um that's what we're doing in this first process, is actually really fun. Oh oh my god, we get to go on a pizza or whatever. Then you pick that one and solo or together, you go, let's actually make that happen.

When do I want to do this? In our case we we decided we want to have an amazing ten year wedding anniversary. We were inspired by some friends of hours who did IT.

And we're like, what people actually do that? And then we're like, who cares of people? Do we want to do IT? And so we said, that's IT. We happen to know the exact date we want to do IT in the location. If you want to go to italy or wherever you gotta pick a specific month and year, it's got to now start getting specific and then you got two more steps and then you're good to go.

What will me is teaching you to do is to dream again and to attach very positive emotion with what a rich life would feel like. And I think so many of you are gonna have trouble even getting past this part and giving yourself permission to do IT because of the amount of mistakes that you made.

And you just say, remet, Chris's restaurant business was really struggling, and we had leans on the house and couldn't pay for groceries at times, and I had lost my job. Dreaming seemed impossible, but that was actually a lifeline because IT made me feel like this was gonna be temporary, that we would figure out away through this. And so I just wanna underscore that if you're like got crushing student debt right now, if you have gone through a divorce and you're in financial ruin, this is actually exactly what you need to do.

Because if you continue to stare at the dead, you're going to feel disempowered, which means your actions will be distinct, powered if we can give you a beacon out on the distance to get you feeling inspired against, to work toward that. We know based on the research, that's your big why when IT comes to a goal. And so I love what you're doing here because it's the exact opposite of what a financial advisor would tell you, which is you'd sit down, you'd go through the numbers, you'd feel like an ibs l. You'd basically get somebody politely telling you you're fucked and you shouldn't buy coffee out and you shouldn't enjoy yourself until you get your debt under control and you pay the soft and that can come. But let's first get the conversation fun and exciting again because when you're in that kind of mood, you're going to be more motivated to do the tedious bullshit that any financial adviser or can tell you correct.

correct hundred percent. And thank you for slowing us down and really providing the context behind why we are doing in this way. I don't want us to shrink our world to a spread sheet.

That's not going to help you. That's not gna help anybody. Instead, what I want to do is expand our vision.

Even if he feels impossible to dream and to say, look, just in this moment on this piece of paper, let's dream for a second. We may not be able to even see how we can get there today, but we've got time. And if we put the intention behind IT and we martial our resources, I think we can do this. Yeah.

that's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

So you've got one powerful vision of what you want to accomplish in the next ten years. I say powerful because it's not like eating at a restaurant that's not enough. I had a guy once tell me his rich life is coffee, and I just SAT her.

And then I said, that's boring. I just told him point blank, and he was shocked. Oh, somebody is telling me my rich life as well as, like, yeah, that's boring.

You can just say coffee, I go. Okay, if you love coffee, then tell me you want to go to guadala and take a behind the scenes tour of a farm. Tell me you want to go to the national baris competition and bring somebody.

Tell me something beyond I want to order an extra dunk, donate coffee ship to my house. No, that's not acceptable. So sometimes I have to chance ge people to think bigger.

You got something big. IT could be skydiving. IT could be a trip, whatever. All right, you know, the date, specially the month.

So in the next ten years, yeah, you got to pick a date, the month and the year.

Yeah, got to be specific. Then this is the hardest st park that should take no more than five minutes. Okay, approximate the cost.

So if you're going to italy, people they start to freak out because they any time just talk out yeah it's like we revert back to seventh grade math and we're like got to to do the quadra tic equation and perfect. I can listen. You don't need any decision points.

okay? In fact, you could approximate on the back of an apin how much is a flight gonna cost? Approximately add fifteen percent because you ve forgot about tax and all that stuff.

What's a hotel gna cost? I don't know. Google hotel, italy, rome, whatever.

Okay, let's double the Price because maybe you want to state a nice hotel. Are I fine? That's the level that we're talking about here.

okay. My wife and I had two completely different numbers. Mine was way bigger.

And my rule is, if you got two numbers, go with the bigger one IT, go into bigger one. And so now you've got a beautiful vision. You've got a month year.

You've got the approximated amount. It's gna cost. The last step is to make that a reality.

How do you do that? Let's say that it's ten years away. It's gonna cost ten thousand dollars. I'm just making IT up. That means you need to be saving one thousand dollars a year or roughly you one hundred bucks a month, roughly. Okay, we could do that.

Suddenly you start to understand a conceptive like time and money, and you set up an automatic savings from your checking account to your savings account for one hundred dollars a month, and you call IT dream trip two thousand thirty boom. Every month that you are talking about money in when I call a rich life review, it's like a video game. You see, we're getting three percent closer and that is a joy.

okay. So can I just ask one more question about this? And I know i'm beating a dead horse, but having spend somebody that was in a scary place financially just over a decade ago, I want you to explain what will happen to somebody with crushing student debt or who's having trouble just making the ends meet right now. yeah. How will doing this exercise change their psychology about money starting today?

Yes, thank. Because if you are in large amounts of debt, whether student loan, credit card, even mortgage, for some people, some of this can sound really very ferry. And so what I want to emphasize to people is that we often have this belief that we're overwhelmed with money.

okay? It's easy to feel that way, but when I ask people, show me your spending, what percentage of your income is going to housing or investments? I would say ninety nine percent of people .

do not know OK. So how can we I don't know yeah so literally don't .

know yeah totally. It's very common. And so how can we feel in control of something if we don't understand the basic mechanics of IT? Even when we drive a car, we ve got to know how to turn the ignition on reverse.

So we go through life in this very transactional way of, like, okay, this bill came in, i'm gonna pay IT. This spill came in, that feels really bad. It's transaction is reactive.

And what I am encouraging you to do is to go from defense to offence with your money. That means once you set the intention of an italy trip, if you're in crushing debt, you may go, hey, for meat. I actually cannot afford to put one hundred dollars a month away. I go, okay.

Well, why don't we write that down? A hundred dollars amount towards italy, but you can do that today. That's totally fine. Next, we're going to go through your four key numbers in the conscious spending plan. Let's make sure you understand your numbers, and you will be quite surprised that a lot of people discover they have more money than they actually realized once they go on offence with their personal finances.

Oh, wow. okay. So what are the four things that we all need to go through?

Everybody needs these four numbers. This is what I used. Instead of a budget and keep a budget, you think i'm going to sit around tracking the Price of aspects for the rest of my life held?

No, okay. I don't want to live either. Okay.

right. So four numbers that you should know. These are all part of my conscious spending plan. The first is your fixed costs. So that would include your rent or mortgage, your utilities, car payment, gas, insurance, anything that fixed, even groceries every month that goes there.

And you and what about the minimum jt payment .

ters part that country? exactly. Thank you. okay. And that number you should try to get IT between fifty to sixty percent of your take home pay.

Okay, let me let me run through these all, and then i'll tell you what they mean. Fifty to sixty percent of your take home pay for fixed costs. Next up your savings.

How much money are you saving every month? This should be roughly five to ten percent of your takeout and savings would be an emergency fund or money you don't need for at least one to five years. Things like a downpayment for a house is set up. Next up would be investments roughly five to ten percent of take home, although I like to see a higher, because investing early in life pays well dividends later. And the final shame .

for male Robins did not investor ly in life. Just going like, let that one go and focus on dream, say that I like, fuck.

I didn't do that. I wish I started dead lifting when I was thirteen years old, but I didn't even know what that was, you know? So we all start from the place we started.

okay? The last category is my favorite. One of all, it's guilt free spending.

And this is twenty to thirty five percent of take home pay. what? Yeah, that's right.

desserts. Now go get them. Beautiful cashmere coat. That's for me.

Go get him. You want to go. You want to get roller skate. You want to go to your gym, twenty to thirty five percent to take off.

Now let me tell you why I love this and why i'm getting excited about, okay, so many of us shrink our lives and we agony ized over some stupid five dollar purchase. You really think coffee is going to change your life. It's irrelevant.

IT does not matter how much coffee you buy. So please stop thinking about that. Those same people who act and I go, i'm so overwhelmed, I don't know anything.

I go, what's your savings rate? They go, what's that? How much are you investing while I try? But I don't really know.

Okay, how are you supposed to field not overwhelmed if you don't know any key numbers? So know the four numbers and you will suddenly feel totally in control. Some of you aren't can be able to hit these numbers.

That's okay. At least we can work with that. We got the puzzle pieces on the table. Now we can start assembling your rich life.

Wow, I think I can do this. yeah. So you just like carve out some time on the weekend .

and get your arms around .

these six, five minutes.

Yeah, he is what people do. How do you do IT? Because the biggest chAllenge is people don't have the right loggins, so their logans are spread.

All they got their fidelity account, some old four one care, whatever. So I would recommend breaking IT up into two days. The first days, just get all your stuff assembled right.

It's like clean the garage. And the second day, fifteen minutes and done, do not overthink IT. We're going for a numbers that's OK.

I love you. I love you, love you, love you. You have that. What is that? The eighty five percent that will get eighty five percent of this, right?

You're good and get on with your life. You don't need to sit there and optimize everything that waste the time.

I also love this because like, I can feel so insurmountable when you've made major financial mistakes in your life yeah that this gives you a place to start, that you can then start to get Better from and and I just actually had a huge wake up moment. I realized that one of the great things about growing up with parents who were very like, just I didn't ever see any concern about money, and I didn't see them talking about IT. Actually that's not true. I would see my mother sitting at her desk with one of those little calculators, with the tapes SHE balancing her checkback.

Hey, that's that's a really important thing that you saw. You saw a woman taking control of money. And yes, obviously, and being capable and competent, that is a very valuable lesson to learn as a child that at that obviously has come through for you. That's amazing. Oh yeah.

He then went on to open her own retail store and all the women, like my grandmother's, a farmer, and ran the money. And he had a calculator with my other grandmother. My grandparents had agree, and he had the thing with the tape.

But what's interesting is that I think the oh, its chill aspect has gotten two hands off me. The fact that I can answer those numbers like that at this stage in my life, for me, IT used to be because of fear and shame and how bad the numbers were. I used to be one of those people that the bills would arrive, and I would just not open them.

Yeah, common.

Because I was confronting to see the dead and confronting to see how much I had spent, because I was, you know, basically shopping to escape my life with money that I didn't have. And then you'd open up .

the bills and be like, fuck.

I guess I spent very much. Yeah, I don't have that money. And so IT used to be that, but I think now that i've paid off all the debt mini saving, I don't look at at all OK. Let's talk about a .

couple of things that are so interesting about what you just said. I love the honesty. All of us have something in our lives that we feel like we should be doing Better. And china push the envelopes away. And I deeply understand this, because for me, IT was fitness, and I grew up half joking, calling myself a skinny indian guy. And I really wish I had not said that, because IT became part of my identity and know if if any of us say something like i'm bad with money, I would oh gently encourage you to not say that, maybe reframe IT and say, gosh, I haven't learned the skills of money yet, but i'm changing that.

Now this is so important, if you just heard the meat say i'm bad with money, I want you to pay attention low and clear because he's absolutely right. Or if you say I don't undertake overwhelming.

i'm not good with math.

I'm not good with math. What are other things that your students say? Remember that really Crystalized a terrible psychology. Run money.

My families never been good with money. We're all bad. I'm never gonna get out of this debt. We always fight about money. And i'm just an over .

spender or my husband, yeah, took care of the finances.

Oh, classic h that drags me insane. Hold on, i'm getting mad, but I got I am getting mad at multiple things right now. So let me take them each in turn. okay. First off, what you said about not opening envelopes and then now as you become much more financially successful, it's almost swung the other way is totally common.

In my experience, once people start earning around one hundred fifty thousand dollars, they stop really paying attention to the numbers because they basically make enough toni have to really pay attention. And actually, i'm a little okay with that. I don't want people organizing over the Price of groceries if they're in one hundred fifty k but what I do on and what I do for myself is I spent one hour per month on my finances.

That's IT. Just one hour. I reveal the csp. My wife and I talk about money.

Hold on the csp. Was that conscious spending? And of the four things, correct the category. I love the most guilt free. Fuck in spending there.

I love IT. You added the effort that's so good. I got to have that. That's beautiful. IT is exciting.

okay? So all those things, when you have money covered out for guilt free spending, IT is literally defined so that if you want to eat and get an extra cheese cake or you want to go to the movies like you don't have to feel guilty because, you know, my dead is being paid off, my rent or mortgage is being covered. I'm even saving money.

I'm not trying to save money, just like I don't try to brush my teeth. IT is happening automatically. It's even Better than brush if you're listening.

I hope that's a sense of relief that you don't have to feel bad about having debt. You do not have to track a guzzi, an numbers that you don't even care about. You do. And I would highly encourage you to focus on four key numbers that will totally transform your life.

I love how easy you're making this. Thank you for that.

It's absolutely my pleasure. I don't want to spend time doing that either.

I I ve so these four pillars of the conscious spending plan, and again, I come from the lived experience of crushing debt where you feel that unless you can get to zero baLance, you don't deserve guilt t free spending you that somehow you're cheating on your goal to get out of death, which is whatever financial advisor pounds into your head yeah, and you feel like that late robs of the opportunity to be out of that.

You feel like spending to go on a trip with your friends robs you of the ability to be out of dead. And what you are is, no, no, no, no, no. You can start right now by figuring out these four things and allocating in coming to those things.

correct? We have a very unhealthy relationship with money in this country. On one hand, we have a puritanical strain that tells us do not buy anything and you're a bad person for having debt and you should live in a monastery until that debt is paid off and then maybe you can go buy a pack of gum.

okay. On the other hand, we're like, okay, let me look at instagram. Oh, my friends in bora bora on tuesday.

Oh, I think I am going to go take a trip, even though I don't even know how much I have in the bank. What are two paradoxically beliefs? And usually it's the consumers one that wins.

But we still feel guilty. We love to feel guilty in this country when IT comes to having debt. Here's my belief.

Number one, you need to know how much you oh, ninety percent of people I talk to her in that do not even know how much debt they know that number one, you gotten know your numbers. Number two, you've got to know the exact month and year your debt will be paid off. Ninety five percent of people in det.

Do not know their debt payoff plan. Easy way to do IT literally go on google type debt payoff calculator, plug your numbers in and you will see. And don't worry, if IT seems depressing, oh, it's going to take twenty eight years.

What I want you to do is just plug the number in and sit with IT for a day. And later you will learn things like, well, if I add an extra fifty dollars a month, I can shave off three years from my but that comes later. I just want you and you know.

I else love that you're saying as I love that you're saying it's OK to have IT, like most rich people actually finance a lot of things. Yeah, good. You're the expert. I don't know why I have. I'm talking about money.

Go head first, people, whether it's okay or not. A lot of people have debt. So let's just accept us for who we are. That's the fact of life. Now I do want you to get smarter with debt. So when I look at people, I always look at the snapshot of their finances, and I talk about all these numbers on the podcast, by the way, we have folks who come on eight hundred thousand dollars of debt.

They're not even really, are you serious? Well, that was me over a decade ago. Yeah, so no college savings, no four one k credit cards maxed out.

Home equity line maxed out. Laud at all into my husband's restaurant business, did not go according to plan. I lost my job.

Leads hit the house. He had been paid in six months. Friends and family had invested holy fucking hell, that was my life.

Okay, so this you really know what it's like. Yeah, it's not joke. It's like you think about IT every day of your life when you're in IT.

Yes, nobody is broken with money. nobody. There are ways for you to get informed about money.

So you know the basic language of money, which anybody can do. You do not have to be a math genius. I'm not.

And second, to work on improving your money psychology. You I I spoke to a couple on my podcast and they were in a lot of financial trouble. They think about IT every day.

And they were so stressed out I said, okay, you're a new parent. SHE was a mom. I think her baby was about six months old.

I said, um, when you first had your baby, did you know how to holder? SHE goes, no. Did you know how a feeder? No, did you just win? IT did, did just try your best, you know, no, I got help.

The nurses, my mom, I read a bunch of books and on and on and on. And that is so Normal. There are things in life we don't know that's okay, but we do have to say, hey, this is important to me.

My rich life is important. I deserve to dream bigger than a boxes of pickles. And therefore, i'm going to prioritize learning and also improving my psychology.

嗯, i'm going to a read your book. I've never read a financial book.

Oh, okay, I love IT.

There's only a version to in IT.

I'm just admitting IT I ve your .

hand so read a financial book in my entire life. I ve read plenty of blogs and listen to podcast. I've never read a book. And the truth is I am intimidated by investing. And the irony of this is that this is the one area of my life where I have goals, and I want to to get more into investing and also investing in a startups as an Angel investor.

And I don't know the first fucking thing about IT, and there is this, I don't know, like self doubt or whatever that I realized and talking to you is keeping me from starting. And yet one of the things that if I make that ten year list that you're talking about of dreams IT, is to have advised, invested in and nurtured a number of startup companies, particularly by unrepresented founders, in spaces and categories that I deeply care about. What I just realized is doing that would help me fulfill in a while, in an amazing way, that rip effect of sending desserts to people.

There you go, that that is the money dial. The desserts are beautiful, but they are such a small example. You are so much bigger than a table full of desserts.

That is, yeah, yeah. That like that. I connected the dots between those two. You know, you ve given us so much to do and so much to think about is there is something else that we haven't .

talked about. Um I would love for people to have an answer to this question. I spend extraversion on blank and I cut cost Mercedes ly on blank.

And that really is the capstone of a lot of what we've talked about. You spend extravagant on tipping or on clothes or whatever IT is to be able to write that down, to be unapologetic about IT. Oh, you're really standing in who you are, and that's okay.

Now everybody has to agree with IT. And IT also means you have to be honest about what you are willing to cut customer lesly on you. Maybe i'm actually overspending on my house.

Maybe I didn't know about the twenty eight percent rule, and maybe I didn't know about twenty eight, thirty six and all these different things that you can learn over time. But you have to be willing to also say, if I want to live my rich life, then what am I willing to say? This is not part of my rich life.

What are some of the things that you typically see with the people that you work with that the versus what where I came pronounce network.

they Mercedes sly cut. I'll tell you what they overspend on. There is always the same. The number one area that people overspend on is housing costs.

A good guideline is that your housing costs should roughly be twenty eight percent of your gross income. Now I will tell you that that's really hard number, especially because housing has gotten so expensive and especially if you live in new york, L A. eeta.

So if people come in, they go, hey, minds like thirty one percent. I go, okay, you know, we can approximate, it's like adding a little more salt to your dish, fine. But sometimes they look at IT in its forty two percent now and tell you what that means because, again, most of us do not have the full picture of our finances.

We simply pay the bill that comes in. And they're wondering, why do we keep fighting about target? Why doesn't my husband or my wife wants to go out to dinner once a year? I'm so annoyed.

I go, well, I could tell you right, right now, I has to do a target. Nothing to do with dinner out is that your housing cost is forty two percent of gross. And because you're spending all your money up there, there's nothing left trickling down the waterfall.

You can't save, you can't invest, you can go out. And when they realized that and suddenly they have the knowledge and they can go, okay, do we actually love this house? Do we need to live here? Find them.

What are we going to cut back on? Or do we actually need to live here? Could we downsize? Could be move.

Do we have options? Could be rent out? Uh, A D, U, in the back, if we've got IT at sera, that's number one.

Number two, over spending his cars. I get this all the time, and I always get mad at them. And then everyone gets mad me, because in amErica we love trucks. So I have nothing against truck.

But what I really have a problem with is somebody making seventy five thousand, who buys an eighty thousand dollar truck, because their budgets at the dealer told him, oh, you can afford the monthly payment. And then they forget to factor in what I called tco, total cost of otherness, that eighty thousand dollar truck actually costs you one hundred twenty grand. Once you factor in insurance, tax, the gas and on and on and on, they can't afford IT.

So I ask one guy, he comes on the show, you know, there's strugling with money. They're like, oh, we tried everything, we buy generic, we buy generic maconi and cheese. I go, I don't care about maconi tell me about your car they go, we have this big nice truck I go, oh, okay, that's so interesting.

By the way, why do you have a truck? And he looks at me like i'm crazy. He goes to pull the trailer, I know what you can afford of this so um anyway, those are the two areas people overspend on its house and car. And if you can just avoid that, if you can just get your numbers in line and fit your fixed costs the rest of your life will be so much easier. Wow.

you have a truck mill. My husband drives a pick up truck.

Yeah what kind?

Um I think it's a chevy.

Well, I I don't really mind because I know you can afford IT, but let's assume you and your husband made like one tenth of what you made now and you had that chevy. What do you think about that?

Um I I would be IT costs one hundred and twenty five thousand hours. That's a lot of money, everything.

everybody, I guess.

And but I also live in vermont, and I would not be able to get up my driveway. That's a quarter malone, during mudd season. If we're going have a pickup truck, we had literally to shuttle people up and down the driveway.

I drive a nine year old car that just hit the bed OK. I drove IT in to get repared and was told that needs to be told out somewhere to be sold. So I am currently without a car, so this is very timely, but i'm not a big car person.

Well, good. I'd like that. You know that. See now what I want to hear is that, and I could be car.

I don't need a fancy house, I don't need fancy clothes, fine. But I also want to know what you are into. And once people start to define those two things that really helps create the dimensions of their rich life.

I really want to make sure people live with a paradigm shift. Yeah, if you think about the people that came on the netflix c show, or any of the millions of students that come to your website every month, what is the current mindset that most people have?

The mindset that most of us have is what I would equate to being at work and getting one email after another and simply being in order taker. Okay, this person failed me, or I ve got ta get back to that person. And that is life, and that is most people's lives forever.

When IT comes to money, I got this bill, we ve got to get dippers. Oh, oh, the car broke down. How we're gonna respond to, yeah, just one problem.

After another, cars break down. Sometimes we go into debt. That's life. Instead, I want to give you a whole new way of looking at them, which is to say, organizing over, you know, some tiny thing at the grocery store is actually never gonna change your life.

And you could spend the rest of your life worrying about IT. And in my paradise, that's a tragedy. What a tragedy to live a smaller life than you have to.

What a tragedy to differ the rich life until some mythical day, which you don't even know when it's gna happen. Instead, we're onna. Define IT right now.

What is our rich life? What are my money dials? What do I want to spend extravagantly on and therefore cut cost Mercedes sly on? And am I comfortable saying to myself and perhaps other people, i'm gonna live my rich life today and and even richer life tomorrow. That's the vision I want to leave everybody with.

I can love that. Oh my god, you're amazing.

Thank you. I love doing. I love seeing people's lives change when they see money in a different way. fantastic.

Because when you see IT in a different way, you act differently with IT. And that's why this matters.

Is not saying think .

formation.

you gotten know your numbers. But when most people think about money, they see stress and overwhelm and debt. And when I look at numbers, I see a trip to disneyland with your kids. I see an amazing food tour in india. I see the ability to never have to look at the Price when you're at a restaurant, and that is what you can get when you understand how to use money.

For those people that have a mindset, i'm terrible with money. I'm bad with money. I'm never going to get out of dead. Please tell them what they should start saying to themselves all day long about money instead.

The new phrase that I want you to use is I haven't always been create with money, but now i'm learning .

it's so .

simple, such a simple reframe. Nobody y's expecting you to become a multi millionaire overnight. We don't even need that. But day by day, you put a little bit of time and attention into reframing your identity. I haven't always been good, but i'm starting to learn about money.

Now that can be listening to this episode, listening to my podcast, watching the netflix show, having some conversations with a partner, maybe saying, you know what? I realized that when we talk about money, we always stressed out, and I don't want that for us, actually want us to feel good about money. And I realized i've got some work to do, but i'd love to do IT together with you. Would you be willing to do that together? That's how you reframe IT solo and with a partner.

I love that I used to be stressed about my money, but now i'm learning .

how to enjoy so good. I love that you add that that positive emotion deep down, most of us don't need the fancy villa, but we do want to a feel good day today with our money. We want to know that if our kids ask us for something for school, we can get IT.

We want to know that if a friend comes into town and they say, hey, would you like to meet for lunch? Yeah, we can go. We don't even even have to think about the numbers. That's a rich life to not have to always be tight and restrictive, but to be fluid and accepting. And I love the way you put that enjoy money that is so good.

Well, and here is the other thing that I love, if I had to put this lawfull circle, is that one of the things that we talk about all the time in this podcast, and you talk about IT too, is the fact that we're all obsessed with getting to some place. I gotta a get that before I got ta get out of debt, because we presume that we're going to feel a certain way yeah, when we achieve IT. And what you're offering is a very clear, simple, step by step road map that helps you change how you feel about money and how you think about money so that as your creating this rich life and as your taking responsibility, you feel more freedom.

You feel like today.

IT starts today. Yeah.

that is what we really want to create a rich life today and a richer .

life tomorrow. amazing. Thank you so much. Congratulations on all your success and all the people whose lives you've made richer and more enjoyable. I really appreciate you taking the time today to hang with us. And I hope this this is the beginning day, one rome of our rich new friendship.

I hope exactly. Same thing. Thank you for having me. This was a blast.

awesome. I will talk to this. wow. I cannot wait to hear your feedback on this episode.

And I also want to remind you that there is another zero cost resource for you to help you take control. If you go to ml, Robin, stock, com, slash, take control. I have a three part free training with a workbook.

And now that you're inspired to create a rich life, I know that melrose in's dog comes. I should take control, is going to help with that too. In case nobody else tells you today, I wanted to tell you that I love you, I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to forget the baLance sheet for just a minute and create that bucket.

This, remember, gave you and I this huge gift. He's taken everything that we've learned in other areas of our lives, and he's applied IT in a financial road mouth. And I love that getting out of debt and enjoy your financial life begins with dreaming and without lining IT with what really makes you come a alive.

And there is no doubt in my mind, when you and I both tapped into that the sky is the fricking limit. Baby, already, I love you. I'll talk to you in a few days.

Oh, one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented soly for educational and entertainment purposes. IT is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional. stitcher. Make life more meaningful and with master cards Priceless that com, you can immerse yourself and unforgettable experiences in dining, sports, art, entertainment and more in over forty destinations.

From a round of golf with a legendary player to a cooking class with a celebrity chef, you can fill your passions and create lasting memories, explore experiences today at Pricey that come exclusively for master holders, terms and conditions.

Celebrity cruises black friday event is so good, you're gonna a bigger bucket list. Explore the kerai in europe or alaska was seventy five percent off your second guess plus bonus savings book today and see why nothing comes close to celebrity crush. This is celebrity 点 com, call one eight hundred celebrity or contact your travel advisor.

Offer applies to select sAilings. Savings amount varies by state room category, other terms supply. This is celebrity 点 com for details, ships registry, multa and equator.