311: Clavado En Un Bar
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Babe. Yeah, babe. What's up? Solo cup is back. Iconic now. Yeah, I know. Yeah. How are you? Do you have a sticker at the bottom of your mic? Am I just noticing this now? Yeah, this is from... Is it a light or a sticker? It's a sticker. Oh, okay.

That's a sticker from the rival. I got to put it down. My other podcast from a different studio. Yeah, but I love that. Head gum. But we're not going to say anything about head gum on this one. This is an iHeart production. You're just in all the boats right now. This week's episode, Clavado en un Bar.

You want to say that one more time? How does it go? Clavado en un bar. What does that mean? I don't know. You didn't look it up? No. Okay. Clavado en un bar because I am a silver-tongued pugilist.

I am a wordsmith, Hannah. Anybody who knows me knows that I speak the most fluent of Spanish, right? So when you say "clevado un bar," the question you have to ask yourself is, do we know what it means? And the answer is obviously, right? And the answer to your question would be nailed in a bar.

It took you 72 seconds to Google that, which is kind of embarrassing. I didn't. I didn't Google it. I didn't Google it. You just stretched that to not Google it? No, I'm trying to talk to the people. The people love hearing my sultry voice.

Okay. En un bar. Okay. En un bar. Let's go. Okay. What does it mean? It's nailed to a bar, pinned to a bar. Madly in love in a bar. We've all been there. You ever clavado in a bar? No, but I did it once like a very good kiss in a bar. Ooh, with Kanye? We gotta switch Kanye with someone else for this joke. Nope. Nope.

You beat a joke. You beat a joke until the end of its life. Kanye. Okay. So the guys, they're having a very fun scotch tasting situation on a non rainy day when Jess bursts into the bar. She needs the guy's help to decide whether or not she's going to take the job at the Children's Museum and quit teaching.

Nick tries to give her advice, but is vetoed because he's a bartender. Schmidt thinks she should take it because it pays more. Winston tells her to leave and she's no longer loving the gig, but soon realizes he's never made a decision in his life.

Meanwhile, Cece reminds Jess of how she taught her when they first met and forged a lifelong friendship. Jess decides not to take the job and makes the best of her chaotic classroom. When the other teachers see what she's accomplished, they encourage her to become the school's principal. Hmm.

Written by Berklee Johnson, directed by Eric Appel. Yes, indeed. This is a great episode. I like these episodes that are flashback episodes because we really get to learn. That's right. That's right. I can't wait to talk about this. Okay, but anyway, let's get into it. Go ahead. Let's get into it. The whole thing is set in the bar, which is also great. No loft moments.

This is a bar episode, storytelling, spinning yarns. I love the guys all together at the top trying to describe the scotch. Absolutely amazing. You know, to this day, Winston's response is something that I use when we're out, when people say, how is it? If I'm at a bar and we, let's say you go to one of those places where they have the cool mixologist and you order something you've never had before. And they go, ooh, how is it? I always say, boozy.

I always do it. New girl has influenced me. That's really funny because in this episode, at the end, Cece's like, I'll have a big old glass of booze water. And I have definitely used that before, too. Well, that's what you have. If you strike me as a whiskey and water person. No water. No water. You put water or ice in your whiskey? No. No. You strike me as.

Well, on Strike It. Okay. It's neat. I didn't say me striking me ass. It's neat over here. It's neat. Both fingers. This is our Venn diagram. We're the same on this one. Neat. Thank you so much. With a little bit of ice. Scotch on the rocks, no ice. I used to order that when I first started drinking. Hold the ice. Yeah, I used to go, scotch on the rocks, please, no ice. Okay.

That's actually a very good pickup line. It was a female bartender. That would make me laugh. Okay. So where are we now? The guys are just loving that there's no drama. It's placid. It's chill. They're slowly sipping their scotch. Nothing's going on. Just an easy day. And then...

Jessica Day burst through the doors. High drama, high energy. She needs something done immediately. They all have to help her now. And the clock is literally ticking. I love the fact that she just downs all of their scotch. Just all of it. These are very expensive glasses here. And, you know, is this the first time we've seen her do something like that?

Where she's just like... I feel like we've seen a few party scenes with Jess where she slams it all down. True American. True American, yeah, but... That's true. And usually there's an instant effect, which is funny that she just consumes that much alcohol quickly. And then she seems pretty put together. She seems kind of fine for the rest of the episode in terms of like, she's not like tipsy or anything. Especially because last episode, she took three bites of the fish and...

- Yeah. - And immediately started hallucinating. - Lost her whole mind. - Immediately. - Lost her entire mind. Yeah. - Yeah. - All right. I also love the fact that she assumes, this is such a girlfriend thing to do, to be like, you guys know about Candace, right? My situation with the Children's Museum, I'm sure Nix told you all about it. - Oh my gosh. So my sister does that, Alicia, she does that all the time. You know my good girlfriend, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, so, and I go, wait, what? I don't know this person.

I don't know who this person is. What are you talking about? We don't know what you're talking about. You know, Sarah been going through these trials and tribulations. Let me, I don't know this woman. I do not know who this woman is. That's such a mom thing to do too. You remember? You remember Sharon who lived on the corner? Do you remember when you were eight months old? She's dead. She died today. She's dead now. Yeah. Yeah.

killed why don't you look sad it's so sad she used to come around sometimes you know when we ran out of napkins you're like what's the story my mom i'm sorry i have no idea what the hell you're talking we don't know what you're talking about um all right so they start to this is also the sweetest thing and i love it so much is coaches love for timing things

It's so stupid. It's so stupid. You, like Winston and Coach in this episode, by far have the dumbest things. Yes. And you keep, there's one, when you start to tell, when you realize you've never made a decision in your whole life at the end of your flashback, in soft focus is Max Greenfield.

And the grin on his face is a Mac smile, not a Schmidt smile. And he keeps his eyes keep going from you doing that little monologue to Jake off camera going, can you believe what they're having him say? Can you believe that he's having to do this? And it's the greatest moment when you can recognize you're like, this is just Mac sitting back going like, they really just have gone full dumb with him right now. Full, completely dumb. Yeah.

- So yeah, Coach is like psyched because there's a six o'clock and it's a really fun way to keep the pace I feel like in this episode because you're doing like a countdown for these flashbacks. - 100%, 100%. - So cool, so great. What a great, great, great structure. - Love a great countdown. Much like the cinematic adventure of a film called Saturday Night,

where Lorne Michaels has to figure out if this show is going to make it to air or not. The ticking clock is the antagonist. So please make sure you guys go and get it right now. It's available everywhere anyway. What were you saying?

Plug, plug, plug, plug, plug, plug, plug. Everybody. Yes. You should go see it. It's great. It's also a similar construct and it works. So let's go into our first flashback. So everybody's trying to talk about how they came to the decision about their jobs and where they are and those big lessons. Winston...

decides to share the story of how he made the decision to quit playing basketball professionally um the story started six seconds after he was born and someone handed him a basketball the clock is ticking winnie you gotta we gotta jump yeah

So I love the fact that he he didn't even decide to play basketball because someone gave him a basketball. And then the story keeps it gets funnier and funnier and worse and worse about his upbringing. I remember having so much fun, even though I wasn't actually playing shooting because of the haircut. Let's talk about this Rodman haircut. Talk about it. How did they do it?

With love and care. Honestly, I think they, so we, it wasn't a dye. So it wasn't like a bleep situation. They just kind of added a little bit of color to it and made their, their weird designs. But it's gotta be paint at that point because you can't, you have dark hair. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what it was. It was because my haircut, my hair is naturally low. And so it was easy to just spray that thing on. Right. And it washed right out and came right out. Just painted. Painted your hair. But I would love to. Here's the thing. I always wanted to do something like that with my hair just as a little whatever. But as an actor, you can't walk around with leopard hair.

That's right. You ain't getting the job. You'll have a long off season if you're going to actually bleach it. And it also will ruin your hair. Exactly. That's not a fun grow out situation. No, not at all. Paint. Now the uphill or the downhill basketball. I can't. It was so funny. It was one of the funniest shoots. I just...

I just remember stunts being like, be really careful. I was like, guys, this is ridiculous. Oh, man. To this day, people still remind me of downhill basketball. I get comments, tweets. I get DMs all the time. Whenever Latvia is mentioned in...

whether it be the Olympics or some sort of Latvian player gets drafted, people always tag me in certain things saying Winston would be proud or ask me how I feel about Latvia's... Are you invested? Are you invested in this? And I'm like, listen...

If the Latvian team invites me out to a game, I will be there. I will fly to Latvia. I will go hang out. I will enjoy the culture. And I will go sit courtside at a basketball game. Wow. You could be like an honorary coach. I mean, if they would allow me. That'd be so cool. Let me get a two-game contract. You know what I'm saying? Come on.

That would be amazing. Put me in the game. Yeah. Put me in the game. Put it out there. I would love that for you. If all my Latvian fans, please talk to your local government and your, what do you call it? The travel, what do you call it? The tourism board. Talk to your tourism board and see if they'll bring me out there.

Anyway, I mean, that would be amazing. You can we talked about last episode that you're going to go to Amsterdam for the Mayo. You can't just fly straight to Latvia. So you're going to go through Amsterdam so you can get like a hit of Mayo on the way and then you can go straight to. Well, we're planning your whole trip. If I take Zoe's private jet, I can go straight there.

That's a fact. Okay, so he's talking about his decision to quit basketball. But as the flashback reveals, he just like snapped his ankle and his career was over. Yes.

Which happens a lot. Injury. Injuries happen. Injuries, you know, that's the age old tale. His narrative in his head, he goes, just walk away the moment you stop loving it. That's what I did. It's like, no, bro. One, you weren't playing. Two, you broke your ankle. You can't do this anymore. It's over for you. And then that's when he gets a little bit confused. Well, I see. Yeah.

But that's so hard. You know when you have told yourself something for so long and then you have to like re-examine it and you're like, wait a minute. Like every, it's like that weird like memento or end of usual suspects moment where you're just like, hold on. The whole reality is shifted. Classic Winston. You know when I had that feeling in my personal life? Tell me. When I realized it's not going to happen between me and Zoe Kravitz. I just don't think.

Have you had that moment yet? Because it feels like you're still hanging on loosely. No, no, I had it. I had it. I had it. She's like single now. Like she's now single and that's when you give up. Yeah, because, you know, you got to let her, you got to let her be single. You know what I'm saying? You don't want to, you know, you don't want to slide in there as her hero, you know, as her hero. I can't be that. I can't be that for her. I feel hope in your voice. I'm sorry. I don't believe this. That's not hope. That's congestion. Yeah.

Do you want one of my allergy pills? I need one. I'm battling. I'm battling right now. I'm battling. All right. So next flashback up. Oh, man. Come on now. Schmidt. Schmidt in the candy stripers.

Oh my gosh. Being everyone's dream candy striper. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I didn't realize that's like a real thing. But I guess so. I guess so. We didn't do that in our neighborhoods. Yeah. Well, I've never seen it in a hospital either, but it's a real thing. And it makes sense that sweet little Schmidt, like that's who he used to be. But he then couldn't get the girl of his dreams. He saw that. Well, because he realized it wasn't in volunteering. It was in marketing. That's right.

It was in marketing. That's how we chose his career, to get a girl. Which I think is like a lot of people, you know, a lot of boys are like, what gets the girls? Yeah. This is the job for me. That's the only reason why I'm an actor. For sure. Yeah. That's the only reason I'm holding out. You know what? I just had a realization. Oh. I think there's a shot between Zoe and I. And we're back. And we're back.

Oh, boy. Oh, man. Okay. So I love his tree salesman days. Yeah. I love the fact that. He's not selling trees. He's selling sex. He's got it. He's selling sex, which is such a funny conversation between him and the short guy. But it's also, you know, it could be true. It could be true. You know, if, you know, you put up a nice Christmas tree.

You know, you bring a lovely, lovely young lady to your home. You know, you get put on some boys to men, you know, let it snow. You throw on, you get some hot, you get some hot cocoa. You know what I mean? And before you know it. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. He also talks about the wisdom that old man McHugh has.

Great name. Old Man McHugh imparted, which seems to be a lot of cliches done wrong. Yeah. Which calls Jess later. She goes like, are you sure you heard him correctly? Are you sure that he wasn't just fully senile if this is what he was imparting? And you have now lived by this wisdom, which is highly flawed.

Yeah. The wisdom is great, though, to be quite fair. Okay. It's great wisdom. It's incorrect wisdom, but it's still really funny. He said, when you die, you're not going to want to see your family. You're not going to wish for more days. It's the money. The money is what matters. You can take it with you. Yeah.

And then he's dead, clearly not taking anything with him. And then he, I think, assaults the sweet nurse, the Nilf. Yeah. Just grabs her, kisses her. Which was so wild. But I got to say, that's probably the fourth or fifth time we've seen

his character do that on the show. But usually it's with Nick and somehow that doesn't feel so wrong.

Well, he did it when Jess was trying to get him to move on from Cece. And they're sitting at the bar. Oh, yes. And he just goes and just straight up just says, I'm going to kiss you in your mouth. Yeah, that's true. There's a strange entitlement there that's going on that feels problematic. Yeah. Can't just be out here mouth kissing. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. No, you can't be doing that. Yeah.

They come back to the bar and Schmidt thinks Jess should take the job if the paycheck is higher because the reward is the destination, not the journey. Meanwhile, Winnie the Bish is spiraling. Yeah. Because he's realizing his entire career path, not only just basketball, but now sports radio and on and on and on, has all been defined by, as we see in the flashback, by the way, Schmidt. Mm-hmm.

Is the one who also was like, it was these candy stripers are the ones that like hand out the basketballs to the babies. Oh, that's right. Yeah. I mean, it couldn't be Schmidt because that doesn't, whatever, but a different candy striper. But it was that profession. That candid him.

The good old basketball. I gave my, when Lily was born, I thought it'd be cute to give her a basketball. I literally put one in her crib. She hates basketball. She loves watching it. She loves watching it. Hates it, but loves baseball. So cool that you have a basketball court at your house then that your child will never go and play on. That pissed me off so much. I was like,

I did it for you. I got this whole basketball court. I'm giving you the childhood of my dreams. And she's like, ew. She's like, not for me, doc. I'm like, no. I'm going to drive my little pink car around here. And this is a parking lot. Yes. That's essentially what it is. It's how she learns how to ride a bike and drive in her car. That's right.

Oh, man. Oh, now we are back to I love that coach's real name is Ernie. I love it so much. Ernie. It's a great name. It's a great name for a cat, by the way. If you're looking for a cat, Ernie is a great name. Ernie? Ernest. Ernest. I don't know if people called him Ernie or not. I doubt it. No, they used to call him Junior.

Oh. Because he's a, you know, he's a junior. Like Damon. Yeah. Junior. So it's also a really fun flex where he says he's so good at his job that he's like named after his job. And Schmidt's like, me too. And they're like, people call you Markety. And he's like, not yet. Which is hysterical because that's terrible. Terrible name. Yeah.

Yeah. So then Nick, he asks her about he has Jess about her first day as a teacher. Yeah. You know, I till this day when I this has been stuck in my brain and it wasn't until that I rewatched this episode that I realized that this was the episode that came from was the go rhododendrons. That's every time I see like high school related movies where there's like lockers and

football teams and cheerleaders. That line from her always pops in my head. And it wasn't literally, it wasn't until rewatching this episode that I was like, oh, that's where it's from. That's wild because it's not like you're in that scene or it was said. That's so funny that somehow that stuck with you. That stuck with me. But anyway. So she has this romanticized story of like her first day teaching. She has some killer bangs, by the way.

and how she like saved a kid that was being bullied and hopefully then set him off on a great course. And she's meant to be a teacher. Cut back to them Googling. Nick tries to save her feelings, but now he's turned into baby Madoff and the FBI is looking for him for 53 counts of embezzlement. So the math, their math tutoring definitely paid off for sure. Sorry, that's such a good line. And then we go to Nick.

about how he decided to not be a lawyer. Also, by the way, great, great hair choice in the flashback. Not be a lawyer and become a bartender. That hairdo? We're going to talk about it? Listen, that's a pretty slick hairdo.

You know what I mean? Well, you're talking about that one. I'm talking about the one where he looks like the guy from Counting Crows. Oh, you're talking about when he's in class. Oh, when he's studying in class. Yes, yes, yes. He looks like the Counting Crows guy with those gnarly little pokey dreads that were very hot in the 90s. That was very hot in the 90s? Yeah. Do you remember that guy from Counting Crows dated every single stunning woman? So appropriating Jamaican culture. Worked for him.

That was not hot. It was a few idiots who did it. I agree. I agree. A few idiots did it, but I'm just telling you what's like the, I mean, do you know what I'm talking about? I know exactly what you're talking about. Adam Duritz. Isn't that his name? Listen, I ain't got no problem with the man, but I'm just saying that, that haircut, I bet he could, if he could take that back.

Probably. If we could take that one back, maybe he would. He was with Winona Ryder. This is in the 90s. He was with Courtney Cox. He was with Jennifer Aniston, Mary Louise Parker. Like he just like... It had nothing to do with his hair. I got to say it had everything to do with his charm and his talent. In spite of his hair. Yes, in spite of his hair. Maybe it's in spite of it. Okay, all right. It's got to be in spite of. It was wild. I never understood. I was like, he was... I loved Counting Crows, but I was like...

The hair. Yeah, that's talent. That's all it is. Did not work for me. Yeah. All right. So we had a while. Then the slicked haircut, though, was wonderful. Looked very good on Nick Miller. Yeah, that was an astute haircut. I remember that haircut. Max wore his hair like that at our first Golden Globes. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I was like, that's a cool hairstyle, Max. Slick. And then Jake went ahead and copied him in this episode. Yeah.

He's like, I know a slick one. Let's do Max at the Globes. Let's do that. Yep. Okay. Where we at?

So he decided that he hated who he was in law school. He's at the bar. The bartender... Red. Passed out. Yeah, exactly. Red, yeah. And so he takes over and then he likes who he is in this job, in this position. So he makes that choice to become a bartender. A bartender, that's right. Yeah, so he makes that choice because he likes who he is in the job. Mm-hmm.

There's only one minute left and then Cece comes running in and they ask if she likes her job and she says she's a 31 year old model. She's always questioned her career. Her last job was for a phone sex ad and she was the one calling. Yeah, that's so crazy to me because I've never had like done plenty of phone sex. I've never had them call me to offer me anything. That's the first thing.

No, I think she's saying she's the one calling. Like she's the pathetic one where her life is like, I need to call the number to help. Really? That's what I got from that. That's what she's saying. She's like, she's in such a bad state that she's not the one. She's not the sexy girl answering. She's the one like my life. I need to call somebody to talk sexy to me. That's what she's saying. Oh, it said it was an ad, though. So I just assume in the end, there's always the person making the call.

I could man I read I love that I look so cute that episode you're like that does not there's no way my brain could compute it what no that's not what I was saying I was saying that that you like it's like a telemarketer

Yeah. Like you were cold calling random people to pay you to speak to them. Yeah, but I was still like the sexy sex worker in it. Cold calling. Yeah, that's what I thought. No way your brain was comprehending that I was like the sad down and out person being like, I need to call like a stranger and pay them like $9,000. That's what I thought you were saying. What are you wearing? That's what I thought you were saying.

And don't say sad and pathetic because there are plenty of people out there who are lonely and they're just looking for a connection. I just think it's like a scam and they're taking your money. Of course they are. That's what I'm saying. Of course they are. But you can't take it with you. You can't take it with you. What did we learn? You can't. You said you can. You can take it with you.

So she sits there and she says, like, don't look at my life choices. Like, my life's a mess. The phone rings. Coach picks up, yells. She has one minute left because he has been very specifically timing this whole thing. Turns out it wasn't Candace. It's just his mom, a.k.a. Jamie Lee Curtis. So she's a mess. Hangs up on her. She's doing weird stuff. But what was she doing? What do you say? Your mom butt?

dialed you? I don't know, but Jess's mom is kind of wild. She was getting it in, but she was out there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was a quick hang up, whatever it was. It was a quick hang up. I've been there. Have you? I've had somebody just before you move on. I've had somebody but but down me while in the throes of passion. No. Yeah. Then Shannon Sharp did it on his Instagram live. Shannon Sharp once when I on IG live, he was making love. No. Making love. That's right. Aggressive love.

Uh-huh. Y'all. How does not everyone like doesn't know about, like I don't know about that. I would think everyone in the world would know about that. Everybody does know about that except for you because you literally live in the forest. I was the last person on planet Earth and I just found out now. Yeah. Oh, boy.

okay, so now we have Cece. She has like, the clock is ticking. She's got seconds basically to tell the story of no, that weird baby made off was not your first student. Your first student was me. And it's the sweetest flashback of the most wonderful actresses who are showing that little love story between Jess and Cece and how

Jess didn't care what anybody thought and taught Cece when she was going through also like a very like hard time. Her dad had just passed. She's struggling at school and Jess is the one who got her on track like emotionally and academically and it's really, really just like the most loving thing and that gives Jess the clarity that she needs to

Also, all these wild male stories where they're having their own like illuminations of the truth of their life. And it just takes her best friend to talk for 60 seconds to be like, no, you're great. What are you doing? You're doing your calling. You're fine. Yeah. Yeah. I taught you how to read. How's that feel that she taught you how to read as an as a teenager? Yeah.

It was very sweet. I love it. Any of those flashbacks with those young girls, I love them. They were so sweet. Hey, let's go to a quick break. Shall we? Let's go. When we come back, we're going to do a little League of Their Own.

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Check out more of this national sales event. The deals are there when you visit buyatoyota.com. That's buyatoyota.com. Toyota, let's go places. And we are. Nick and Jess debate whether or not A League of Their Own is a sports movie. It's about sisterhood and the war. It's about a sports team scrapping it out. You know what's funny? I remember the movie, but I don't.

remember the movie you don't remember you don't remember that line i know it's hard but the hard makes it good no but i've heard it before you know what i'll say is um i feel like we're gonna get roasted for this um who's gonna get roasted for it i don't feel like i

I remember Madonna. I remember Rosie O'Donnell. That's all I remember. That's all I remember. I remember Rosie O'Donnell. And Madonna being in a movie was really cool. Like super cool at that time. Yeah, Madonna's in it. Man. Man. And she looks so cool in it. But that's all I remember. Yeah, Madonna. Fine actors. Fine, fine, fine actor. Yeah.

That's really seeking Susan. Great movie. I remember that movie. Oh, I love Kevin 97. Love Kevin. Love Kevin 97. Love the flashback of Kevin 97. Not to be confused with Mike 97. No, no. Another character, another show, another day, another life. It's Kevin. Kevin 97. And Nick is concerned about him over drinking. So he makes him tea water, a.k.a.

And this is, I remember this. I remember them pitching me this and saying, Cece is going to start working at the bar. Mm-hmm.

And I remember Jake Johnson saying to me, this is great for you. And I said, why? What's the great part of like doing scenes at the bar? He's like, well, because when you're behind the bar, because previously when Cece would show up at the bar, she's always like on the drinking side. But the great part is, is that, you know what I'm going to say, right? Is that you can put your sides down. Yeah.

You can put your lines down behind, hidden behind the bar. And it's wonderful. So that if you have to look down and be like, what are we saying? Right before they roll, you could just lay all of your words out, which is really funny. This is the greatest job to have as an actor on this show. And I was like, and he was not wrong. They were always laid out.

Oh yeah. I never got the opportunity to do that because I, as you know, as a, as an actor who prides himself on being prepared, um,

I always make sure I'm off book totally no matter what. Sure. 100%. 100%. Yeah. It's like the couch. The couch. I feel like when I got the couch, you just lift up all the couch cushions and there was like thousands of sides shoved into the couch seats from all of us over the years. Just fun fact. I broke my thumb on your couch. Just putting it out there. What? When? Why? How? Not when it was at your house. When it was on set.

As I was getting up from a chair, from the couch, in a scene, we had, who was the director of that episode? I forget who she was, but she kept telling me to do the scene faster. She was like, I just want you to get out of the, no, it was, I think it was Steve Welsh.

Yeah. And he was like. Yeah, our editor. Yeah, editor. He was like, just I had to do this just quicker. So I thought I was like, I was going to be a little asshole to him and just bolt out the door, like do a Justin Long and just fly. So I pushed my hand down on the couch and there's a dead spot in the cushion. So there's a cushion and there's like a little lack of cushion in one little area. And that's why I put my hand down in my front.

And you can hear it. You can hear it in the... They obviously cut it out of the actual thing, but one of the editors sent me a clip while editing on Snapchat once. And you just hear it. It goes...

It just popped so loud. And I sat there like, hmm. I started sweating and I'm like, I gotta go to the doctor. The amount of injuries you've incurred from the most, most like low stakes situations and the amount of trauma I'm realizing that this couch has incurred. I need to like sage this couch. You should sage the couch or you should sell it to me.

I should just. Okay. So we go back. Let's talk about Jess because now she realizes she wants to stay being a teacher, even though it's chaotic and crazy. She's also realizing how completely inept Dr. Foster is, the principal. And her true, true calling is to be a principal.

So it's kind of cool for Cece and Jess. So Cece decides she's going to work at the bar. She's clearly terrible at it. By the way, that happened to me in my real life. I was hanging at the bar. I needed a job. They hired me. I was clearly terrible at it, but I worked there for a very long time. And you were 14.

I was 14 and I worked there for a very long time. She realizes she can do better. She becomes a principal. Winston, right? Quits his job. Yes. That's a lot of wild stuff. So a lot of people going down memory lane, I feel like made them realize what they truly want to do. And then the last person standing in this is Schmidt, right?

Who then wanders by a Christmas tree. Which reminds me, I got to go get one of those. Sorry. You don't have one up yet?

no i've never been a i i've my whole life we never celebrated it so it wasn't until i had lily where i started doing it but it was she was so tiny that i would just do like small little trees in the corner because it would just be us two literally christmas morning would literally be just lily and i and so uh and so unless she unless she then went to texas to see her grandparents on that side and they would do a whole big thing but it was always such a

in and out time. And I know this year, you know, new house and everything. I keep saying, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. But I've been so tied up that I haven't done it. And I got all this wrapping paper. I'm going to help you figure this out. I'm going to help you figure it out because I'll tell you this. Um, I have four Christmas trees in my house. Four. That's just so much. And like everything is, I mean, we are full Christmas and I, I, I put it up in November. Yeah.

- Oh gosh, I wish I should have done that. - I would have done it before Thanksgiving, just so you know. - I should have done that, I should have done that. - I do it so early because I feel like all of a sudden something happens in the time warp of super speed around the holidays and it just jumps from Thanksgiving to Christmas. And so I put my Christmas stuff up before Thanksgiving. I'm so sorry, I know in America this is like, that's an abomination, but I'm not American, so whatever. I'm gonna put my Christmas tree up when I want. - Neither was Jesus.

So Schmidt walks down and he's got his mojo back. He's got his mojo back, which is funny because in the script, I read the end of the episode. It's actually he goes there and he doesn't. He goes to the Christmas tree lot and he's trying and it's like not hitting the same. But in his mind, it is like he's actually high from it, but he's like crashing and burning. But they gave us a happy ending on this episode. Yeah.

Such a fun episode. Also, I think freed the writers from a lot of things that had been going on. They finally got Winston out of this sports radio thing. They got CC out of the modeling thing. They got to do a new trajectory for Jess. So I think that was also very cool for them. We also learned that like Nick Miller is a lawyer. He actually did make the choice. He passed his bar exam.

All that kind of stuff, I think, in a way that wasn't like heavy, like these big life choices being made, they found a really fun way to then really kind of alter everything and set a new track for comedy in season three. So love this episode. I always tell folks, this is the season that I truly started to feel comfortable on the show. And this is an episode that whenever there's hijinks, whenever there's flashbacks, whenever there's silliness, stupidity,

That's why I shine the brightest. I will also say Baby Winston is so cute. He is. So cute. Whoever that baby was, you're probably 25 now, but he was so cute in the flashback. Yeah. He's a grown up now. He's got his own kids. He's got his own kids. He's got his own kids. When we come back, we are going to mess. Don't tell your husbands, ladies. And we are back.

Babe. Yeah, babe. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever quit a job or an activity? How did you make the choice if you did? Oh, yeah. I've quit a lot of things. You're a quitter? For sure, man. Oh. I can very clearly identify when I'm like, this isn't working for me anymore. I'm done. Huh. You know, I've never been a quitter. I feel, I take that back. There are, I haven't been a quick quitter.

Like I have to just exhaust every option in that thing and just see. And just see, am I missing something before I pull the trigger on walking away? And yeah, I think a job, I did quit a job, but this doesn't really count. I was 16, I want to say, and I was working at Walmart. And if I can get that back, I would, because I do feel bad about my exiting the company. There was a basketball game going on at the park.

me and my buddies were gonna go play, it's like pick up. And I had a shift that day at Walmart. So I told my manager, I tried to get the shift covered. And he said, "No, you're not getting your shift covered." And I was like, "But you don't get it. "There's a park and there's a pickup game."

And I must be there. I have to go. I have to. And he said, no. And I said, hey, a couple of things. One, shut up. Two, you can't tell me what to do. I was like, you can suggest that I come in or I'd be fired, but you can't tell me. That's right. You ain't going. And I'm like, okay.

What? So I felt rebellious against this man. Sure. And I just said, I'm going to go play basketball. You do what you got to do. And then he fired me. Sure. So I don't know if you actually quit. Yeah, I quit. I knew the repercussions. Right, right, right. You knew. So I chose. I chose. So I quit. I quit. That's fine. Well.

It seems like it's worked out. Yeah. And a couple of relationships. Yeah. I think it worked out just fine. Yeah. I think you're okay. Although Walmart, call me, you know what I'm saying? I'll come back. I'll pick up a couple shifts. Paper goods and chemicals. You're going to Latvia. Um, you're this, this is a new direction for you. This episode, you're also going to go, uh, work a shift at a Walmart. I'm a man of the people. Yeah. You're figuring it out. I'm a man of the people. Um, I like this for you. Yeah.

Let's see. Answer Jess's question. How do you know when you're on the right path? I think it is. I do think, man, bartender wisdom. I do think you do know if you feel like good and right when you're doing something. It doesn't mean it's always easy.

It doesn't mean that you're always getting the rewards of it. But and maybe it's just that when you're in the wrong thing, it feel that feels so clear. And that's why I do think it's important when you're young to try a lot of different jobs. If you're at university, don't just like study one thing, like study an array of things, because the things that are wrong will almost hit quicker and faster.

Yeah. And you can eliminate it. And that's what makes the right feeling then feel so right. It's kind of like dating. Right. I think also like when you're like, oh, I definitely know what I don't want. That way, when the right person walks in, you're like, oh, great, because I've already learned myself a little bit to know the situations that were not comfortable. Right.

So I think that's how you do it. It's through experience, through trial and error and learning specifically what you don't want so you can kind of hone in what feels good to you. I know it's like, is it Louis Armstrong who said, when you're smiling...

when you're smiling if you're smiling you're having a good time you're on the right path i think life is about happiness and if you're not happy reevaluate some things you know that's right you know we all we all got to share this planet let's just be happy while we do it

Also, this is the thing too, I will say. I'll never forget a friend of mine. He did this whole big thing. He was going to France to study French. He wanted to be a French professor. It was this big thing. And he left university, went to go to this French school to go do that. And he got there and it was all built up. Everybody knew about it. His family, all of his friends. And we had a big send-off. This was in our early 20s. And he got there and he was awesome.

Right. It was awful. The whole situation was bad. He didn't feel comfortable. He called his mom and he was just like, is I just like I'm in it now. I see what this track is like. I'm doing the thing. It's not what I want to do at all whatsoever. But I feel terrible because we spent this money. Also, there's all this expectation and pressure now from everybody who's like, this is great. And she was like, who cares? What a great lesson. Wonderful. Leave.

Let's figure out what you want to do. And I was like, man, that is like...

That thing of like not that also that was early on in my life. I remember when that happened. And I think that also gave me that comfort in quitting to be like, oh, no, I just learned something. It's not like quitting. It's like, oh, yeah, I learned something about like this is not for me. Great. I'm not just going to say that I was swimming in this wrong. Like life is short. Swimming in this wrong lane for so long and wasting time. Let's now on to the next thing. And that might not work either. But that's OK. Yeah.

Yeah, you know, my mom is very similar to that. I think too much, though. I can be like, so my mom, mom, just long day at work. She's like, oh, yeah. And I'm like, yeah, just pretty tired, got a headache. And she's like, just quit. Don't do it anymore. You don't have to. Don't stress yourself out for this job. I go, fine.

But that's really sweet and loving because she's like, look, your wellness is more important. I think there's a balance in there. But I do think I know a lot of people whose parents were kind of like, we paid for it. We've done it. You stick it out. We don't quit. There's no quit in the thing. Well, take it with respect, too. For sure. I think there's a balance in there. But I think sometimes it's so much on that side where I'm like, you know, it does not feel good.

walk away and take the lesson though. You got to take the lesson. Otherwise you start to repeat it and then it becomes behavioral. You just quit everything. That's right. You have to start taking the lessons to build to something. Well, that's the episode, man. That is, that is. And, and I enjoyed it. I did too. I forgot how they, I always remember that I ended up working at the bar. I didn't remember how CC got there. And it was this,

her being a terrible bartender, which I do think stems from me telling Liz Merriweather the story of how I became a bartender and was terrible. And everybody kind of, all the other bartenders kind of fixing everything behind me. But they were my friends.

And they were just sort of like, she needs to be doing something different. And I eventually got better and I was very beloved by the customers. But it wasn't my strong suit in the actual bartending. No, no, not at all. And I, to this day, would not trust you with a drink. So thank you all for listening. We love you. Please make sure to follow us on IG at The Mess Around Pod. If you want some of that fantastic merch that you see Hannah's rocking right now.

You can go to our website, TheMessAroundPod.com. That's TheMessAroundPod.com. You can send us a letter. You can send us a voicemail. You have questions, concerns. TheMessAroundPod at gmail.com has all of the answers for you. So please make sure you keep tuning in. Next week we will be back with episode 312, Basket. That's right. That's right. Peace. Bye.

That was The Mess Around. This has been an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our engineer and editor is Mia Taylor. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. So we're going to catch you next time.

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