316: Sister (Part 1)
41:52 Share

When you think about our government, is it clear how it serves us, the citizen, the human? Empathy Affect is Fors Marsh Media's podcast that explores the human side of government. Our show reveals how personal experiences and dedication drive these individuals to serve the American people, from addressing our health and well-being, to issues affecting our veteran community, to public service and more. Hear inspiring stories from the people at the heart of our government.

Tune into Empathy Affect on your favorite podcast app. We've all been there. I mean, I've been there. In the line at the grocery store, waiting for your latte at the coffee counter, pick up at your child's school, everyone standing around in silence, eyes down. But what if you smiled first? Colgate is here to give you the confidence to do just that. One smile can break the tension and open the door to a real connection. It's a small gesture with a big reward. Colgate helps you show the world your confident smile.

Hi.

Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history.

Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians, people like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I like that. Yeah. Yes. Mess around. Mess around. That. Uh-huh. Oh, man. Mess around. Mess around. They messing around. They messing around. Hannah.

Don't, why you say it so sad? Are you going through something? - No. - So why are you talking like that? - I don't know. - You a creep? You a creepo? - I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, what? - I'm just, I just wanna dive into the episode. We're talking today about episode 316, "Sister." That's right, "Sister." - Starring the phenomenal Linda Cardellini.

Yeah, she's great. I love Linda and I hadn't seen her in a billion years. And about six months ago, we were thinking about selling our house and moving to the Palisades.

And so we went to spend the day in the Palisades and look at houses and we went to go and grab lunch in the Palisades Village. And there was this absolutely like beautiful woman sitting at the table across from me in the restaurant. And I was looking at her and then I was like, oh my gosh, I think that's...

that's Linda Cardellini. And of course, you know, when you like haven't seen someone in a long time and then like, I'm staring at her and I'm sure she didn't recognize me. And so she's just like, Oh God, this weird fan is just like leaving me alone. And then I get up to come towards her table. I'm sure she's just like, please save me. But I was like, ah,

bubble bun she was like oh my god and then we like reconnected and chatted and we spent like half an hour talking and um and she was just telling me how great the palisades is and how like it's a conversation and chatted about work and life and family and all the things and i was just like man you're just one of the best humans she was so kind and wonderful and that was the last time i saw her just a few months ago and um well how was she doing did she you know uh

I don't know. I don't know. I think everybody's got a lot of right now, like, you know, trying to figure out a lot of different moving parts. So it was really nice to see her face and to see her and yeah, I hope everything is okay. And it was like fun to rewatch this episode because I didn't really do anything with her, but she was obviously, you know, to be put in the new girl family.

Yeah. Figuratively and literally as Jess's sister. It was fun to see her play that role and see how well she does it. I mean, she's just one of the best actresses. She crushes everything she does. Everything. She crushed this episode. And it doesn't matter. Comedy, drama, everything. That's it. She just has that thing. She has that thing where you just like you don't look away. You know, she's just she's captivating. She's so funny in this.

She's single? Linda Carlini? Yeah. She's not the one. Remember I told you, you're going to find your lady in 2025. She's coming for you. It's going to be clear. You don't know that? It's not Linda. She could be, you know what I'm saying? All right, fine. In this episode, Jess is desperately trying to keep Nick away from her sister, Abby, after learning she's going to need to bail her out of jail, as one does for their siblings. Meanwhile, Schmidt drags Nick to a bar mitzvah in order to help him riz his rabbi's daughter.

All while Winston, Bertie, Coach, and Cece are having an awkward soup-filled dinner. We'll be right back. This episode was directed by the Max Winkler. Written by Matt Fussfeld and Alex Cuthbertson. Some fun facts about these writers, right? Should we share? Yeah, let's share.

I think we shared about them. -Credible writing comedy duo. They actually, I did a pilot about my family life story and they wrote it. So we have a deep, loving, wonderful, long-lasting relationship, Matt and Alex and myself and my family. -They don't give me that love. -But Alex Cuthbertson and Liz Mayweather are married.

They met on the show and fell in love in real life and have three beautiful babies and

They're the greatest. The greatest humans. They are. They are. But like you said, I mean, almost. I wouldn't put them up there at the top of my list. I would. I love them so much, Matt and Alex. They don't care for me. It's all talk. It's like, oh, the more we love everything you're doing, then they don't call, they don't write. You know, it's all good. Imagine if they didn't call, but they wrote. You just got a letter every once in a while from Matt and Alex. Yeah, but they'd be assholes because they know I don't read.

That's true. They know that. Let's dive into sister. Take it away. Oh, man. Winston's trying. You're just trying so hard to have people come and hang out with your sweet girlfriend who is making 10 cream-based soups for dinner.

Yeah. Yeah. They're all cream based. So no bailing. You know what I mean? He's desperate. They need some companions. You know, when people are in relationships and they want other people to like, they want to go on like these little couples outings. That's all that is. You know what I'm saying? That's all it is. But Winston gets overlooked all the time. You know what I mean? Everybody's so busy doing their own thing. They overlook. He's also showing up for everyone else's couples pretty nicely. Winston. Always. Always. He even offered to bring his cat once. He's getting to know them.

And he's like, can you guys get to know my girl? And she's even going to cook for y'all? I think it kind of boned Winston in this situation. This episode is real disrespectful to Winnie. That's right. You know, I mean, you got to come and taste some of these soups. Like Winston says, she was a Somalian.

A soup Somalian. That's my favorite line too. Look, I can show you the one note I have is just episode 316. Usually I write like 50 notes on here. Okay. I just have one. It just says Somalian. That's my one note of a whole episode. And I made that one up. I'm a writer on the show. Okay. So Schmidt comes running in as you do in the beginning of a New Girl episode saying as the big comedy turn, I'm bailing.

And says to Nick, he needs a wingman to come to this. He's got a date with a Jewish girl and he needs Nick's help to make this happen. That's right. Then we get another twist because Jess gets a phone call. That's right. From her mother, the lovely, the wonderful Jamie Lee Curtis. She tells her that Abby...

was arrested in a hotel in San Diego for stealing and Jess needs to bail her out and put her on a plane ride home. You get the sense that this is a thing. You know what I mean? Like this is, Abby's at it again. And Nick tells coach, you know, he's actually never met Jess's sister. This is weird, but he's never met her. Cece walks into the apartment, hands Winston all of the ladles that she could find. I love when he's looking at one and he goes, oh, this one's deep. Yeah.

It is true though. I don't know if you've ever met somebody who's like partner is into something like deeply into it. And then it starts to take over your, like your friend's personality a little bit when he feels like he would be like that. He'd be like, man, I can appreciate a good ladle now. Yeah. Because that's the thing about ladles. That's the misconception about ladles is that people think that they just go unappreciated, but there's a whole ladle community out there that appreciates them. Or like all ladles are created equal.

Yeah. I mean, now you read a shallow ladle. Nightmare. That's a spoon. You know what I mean? If I wanted a spoon, I'd get a spoon. If I want a ladle, I'd get that. Ladle community on Reddit. We see you. That cup with a long handle. That's what that is.

That's what the label is. So Justin goes and freaks out and tries to fully overcompensate to mask the fact that she is terrified of Abby all of a sudden showing up and ruining her life or meeting Nick or like disrupting everything. So she just swings the pendulum the other way and makes it seem like it's the best news ever.

And Nick, by the way, normal curiosity is like excited. He's in love with Jess. He wants to know her family. He's excited to finally get to meet the sister. Right. And so. Winston said he could always, he's always pictured her with a black Frenchman, a black, a black French speaking man, Jerome St. Pierre. Such a great name. I want to meet Jerome St. Pierre. It reminds me that Pierre, what's his name? The guy, Aaron Pierre, everybody likes now.

That dude. My brain went to Pierre Cardin. Do you remember that old brand? Pierre Cardin. Pierre Cardin in Jordan ass jeans. That's right. I just remember that. I remember that shirt. Very cool shirt. That's my Pierre. Pierre. Mufasa. He's Mufasa. Oh. Everybody loves him. Everybody loves him. I just saw him yesterday at this thing. I get it. He's a dreamy looking man. Every woman in that room was, was, was. Looking at Pierre? Yeah.

They were trying. They wouldn't get out of his face. I'm not joking. And I was like, bro, I'm used to that, bro. Get used to it, bro. It's the lifestyle. Let me tell you how I handle it. Oh, my God. Okay. So Nick asked Jess. He asked her.

Go, please, I want to meet her. Come, please. Jess suggests that she go pick her up and maybe they all go do dinner. Nick agrees, causing them to back out of Winston's dinner. Oh, Winston again, just gets it again. Cece then panics because she's like, barges into Jess's room and she's like, you can't let Nick meet Abby because Abby ruins everything. And she's like, obviously not. I've got a plan.

I'm not an amateur when it comes to my crazy sister. So I've got a plan and it's going to be fine. I'm going to just sit there and stall and then the whole thing's going to go away and it's going to be okay. Yeah, that's the plan. That's the plan. This is going to just take her to the airport, whatever. Now, coach then lets Winston know that he can't go to the dinner now

It's a double date thing and things are weird between him and CeCe. And you know, which was shocking. I was like, wait, they're still, they're still trying to free to reach other out. CeCe and coach. I forgot about that. Because it's kind of connected to the X episode is a lot of people I think struggle with this is what is,

Like at what point do you cross over and qualify as an ex? And that's where I feel like so many people have different points of view on it for coach, because he does like her.

I think that was genuine. Right? So he feels weird about just being like in a double date looking, presenting situation. Where for Cece, she's just like, I guess I'm going to my friend's girlfriend's soup thing and coach will be there. Yeah. You know, she's like, you're not my ex. Like our faces hit each other at one point for four seconds. That's all that was. So, but coach is having a different emotional experience.

And then Winston grabs Coach and says, be a man. Be there at 6 p.m. sharp. Bring a bottle of wine. And don't be cheap because Bertie is a Somalian. I love that. I love that. While Nick is practicing meeting Abby in the bathroom mirror, Schmidt tells Nick that he needs his help. He is, after all, the best swingman to ever wong.

Then they flashback. One of the funniest flashbacks ever is that bookstore flashback. The bookstore flashback had me. It was so good. Oh, are you the author of So You've Mastered the Female Orgasm? Now what? Now what? The now what? They could have just left it with So You've Mastered the Female Orgasm. The now what is crazy. Oh my gosh. It's so funny and so perfect. Oh my gosh.

Oh, man. Yep. Yep. That's a great wingman. That's a great wingman. Great wingman. And so he says, look, you're going to come. It's a tiny little thing. We're going to do a tiny party. And then as soon as Jess calls, you can bounce. So don't worry. This is all going to work out. I mean, not for Winston, but it's going to work out for us. So, you know, Jess...

She gets to the jail. She bails her out. My favorite. I love when these two women were going at it. Just steal the gum. She stole your gum and leaves. And then you watch Abby, AKA Linda, Abby. She goes, Hey, you want some gum? Offers it to Jess. She stole the gum. She just wanted to cause a ruckus on the way out. Love that moment. And that's what she did. That's what she did. Um, Abby, you know, Abby wants to meet Nick.

Right? She wants to meet him. But Jess lets her know that, you know, there's no time because the mom already bought her a ticket. And Abby immediately, like a crook, I got her credit card info. And she changes the flight. You know, Abby asked Jess why she never does anything that she's not supposed to do. Jess tells her that she didn't put the cup. Well, she said, I did put the cap back on the honey bear the other day. Yeah, her honey. She got crazy. Yeah.

She's kawaii. Oh, my gosh. Abby is asking if Jess is embarrassed to introduce her to Nick. Because she's driving so slow. So slow. She's basically going backwards. This is the first time a cop has ever pulled up on someone and was like, hey, drive faster. That's happened to me. You're going too slow. Do you know that? Has it really? Yeah. Okay, so there's a couple things I'm learning about you and your driving. You've had a...

- Did you have a person drive, park your car for you? - I did. - You had an unhoused gentleman park your car for you. - And with no known address. - No known address, yeah, exactly. And now you're saying a cop pulled up on you and said, "You have to go faster." - Correct. - Was this here? Was this in Canada? - I only learned to drive in my 30s here in LA, okay? I'm not a good driver. - Still? - Yeah, okay, just leave me alone. - Are you still not a good driver? - I wouldn't say it's like one of my biggest strengths. - Oh, Hannah.

I drive. I mean, I'm in LA, so I drive. But would anybody say that I'm a great driver? Here's a fun story for you. When I first started driving, it was that period of your life many years ago where you're like going to LAX all the time to pick up friends. You know, you would do that. You would do the LAX drives. You'd be like, I'm going to pick you up. I'm going to drop you off. All your friends would come to town. It was super fun. I'll never forget. I think my brother was flying in from Toronto.

And it was at night and it was a surprise. My mom was visiting. And so I was like telling her, what did I say? Cause she doesn't know LA. So I told my mom, I'm going to, um, going to a meeting. I said, can you come with me? She said, okay. So she gets in the car, but meanwhile, I'm going to LAX to like pick up my brother to surprise my mom, you know, that he's going to be here. And we go, um,

And I'm supposed to be just driving whatever, La Tierra or something to get to LAX, surface streets, because I know better than to get on a highway. Okay. Nobody wants that for me at that point, especially. But I accidentally get onto an on-ramp and then I realize what's about to happen and I'm terrified. So I just hit reverse and my mother, God bless my mother,

Because all she did was just hold her breath and just pray. And then I reversed back on the on-ramp because I was so scared what was going to happen if I got on a freeway. And then somehow, thankfully, no one else was trying to get onto the freeway. And then I managed to just go about my way. And it wasn't until I looked at my mother's face and she was, she was translucent. Like all the blood had left her body. And she goes, I'm

And I was like, oh, good to know. No, I'm not. Yes, a cop has definitely like pulled up and been like, you can't go 10 miles an hour no matter how scared you are. I failed my driving test first time around because I went too slow. He said you were driving five miles an hour and a 25 mile zone. And I thought, well, I'm not. I was so scared I'd go 26 and

instead of 25 and then I'd fail the driving test and I went like five or 10 miles and I didn't realize you can fail for going too slow so I did I failed my driving you thought you thought it was you you thought like going under was better than going over well yeah because if you speed in a 25 mile zone you know like the school zone you would fail your driving test so I was like I don't know he's a touchy accelerator I'm just gonna go way under and that's why I failed my driving test

- That's crazy. I've always been considered one of the greatest drivers of all time. - I believe it. - Yeah, one of the goats. - Yeah, you and Lewis? - I love Lewis, love Lewis, but he's, you know, I wouldn't put him up there. I wouldn't, you know what I mean? Like amongst the great, great, greats, I would put him like two, three. - How have I devolved this episode recap into me just telling my driving horror stories? We're gonna move along.

So Schmidt takes Nick to a bar mitzvah and Nick says he's not about to watch some kid get circumcised.

So funny. I don't know anything about Bar Mitzvahs, but I thought that's what happened. I don't think that's what's going to happen here. Schmidt tells Nick his target is Rachel, a Hebrew school teacher. He says he's going to sweep her off her fleet on the dance floor. They're going to get married and have a kid named Elon. He goes into this whole big speech, which is also some of my favorite banter between Schmidt and Nick, where Nick keeps going like, you're talking in speeches.

Yeah, monologues. Which is what they would give Max to do all the time. He had all the monologues. It was so true. He got called out so hard. Yeah, like this. He'd be given this much dialogue or a monologue to go through.

And I love that, you know, Schmidt tells Nick, the only problem is that Rachel's dad is the rabbi who hates him. Correct. Just then Shirley, Shirley pops up, played by the wonderful Bunny Levine, who she, you know, she, funny fact, I did a podcast called Unwanted that Kyle wrote and I produced the start in.

And Bunny Levine played a character in it. Get out of town. So if you get a chance, go listen to Unwanted. It's out there everywhere. And Bunny Levine's in it. She grabs Schmidt by the hand. Nick removes his yarmulke to greet her. Like it's like a little cap to Doff. Hello. He's like, what are you doing?

Things about to get nasty. Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. Let's go to break. And when we come back, Hannah, we want to figure out if you found the bear. I'm kidding. Don't tease me. When you think about our government, is it clear how it serves us, the citizen, the human? Empathy, affect,

When I smoke weed, I get lost in the music.

I like to isolate each instrument. The rhythmic bass, the harmonies on the piano, the sticky melody. Hey, careful, babe. There's someone crossing the street. Sorry, I didn't see him there. If you feel different, you drive different. Don't drive high. It's dangerous and illegal everywhere. A message from NHTSA and the Ad Council.

All right, we are back and we are back at the loft and Cece and Coach are discussing how the dinner tonight with Winnie and Bertie is not a date. Not a date. Such a funny, awkward, little strange moment. I love the fact that... Is he drinking a bottle of whiskey?

She down, I had my character, I remember down the whiskey because it just got so awkward. And I think they were just like, that's a lot of whiskey. That's a lot of whiskey. I was like, is this ghost just sitting there with an open bottle of whiskey in his hand? It comes differently. And I just, and I love, so Abby comes in. They walk in. This is my scene with Linda. I love it.

Oh, and they called, you know, she called, she called out the situation. Yeah. She looked at him. She said, I'm sensing a vibe in here, you know, because I can tell that he wants to have sex with Cece and Cece, she don't know. She's also like hella rude to Cece. She's like, oh, you're not paper thin anymore. Yeah. How dare he dare.

He used to be anorexic. Rude, just all rude. You get a nice little taste of Abby and how she is and how she can ruin everything. So that's all at play. Then we go back to the bar mitzvah and the boys' plan is put in place. Nick is going to distract the rabbi while Schmidt hits on Rachel.

And then this interaction. What a dream to get to sit there and do bits with John Lovitz. Oh, my gosh. That would be, oh, man. John Lovitz is at the buffet. Rabbi tells Nick that he's a joke machine. So funny. It's just so funny because, you know, John Lovitz, joke machine for sure. For sure.

He goes, did you hear about the waiter? Walks up to a table full of Jewish women and says, ladies, is anything all right? Oh, gosh. Schmidt approaches Rachel, where we learn she recently got out of rehab. Whoa. Whoa. She's clean. She's good. Is that your Joey Lawrence whoa? Whoa. So good. Love Joey Lawrence. Me too. Shout out to Joey Lawrence. Come on the podcast, bro.

What are you doing, Joey? - Man, making mistakes. The rabbi to Nick, do Jews walk into a bar? They buy it. 'Cause they're rich people. - The whole thing is so dumb and so stupid and so funny. God knows how much of it was actually scripted and how much was just John Lovitz being like, "All right, let's go." You want me to be a joke machine? Say less.

Then Nick gets a call from Jess who tells him there's no time for dinner because Abby has a very important phone call with Hong Kong with a Fashion Adventure magazine conference. And I think Nick all of a sudden feels and can tell this is not the most truthful thing. Yeah. And he thinks about him. He's like, oh, she's embarrassed of me. And it's obvious. That's kind of what that one. Because she is trying to be sneaky and play both sides. She she doesn't know the damage that she's causing to one's.

That's right. And now Nick is distracted. The rabbi clocks what's happening between Schmidt and his daughter. So he goes and cuts it off. But I love that she's pulling his daughter away. She screams out, I love sex. Schmidt wants to have sex with me. I love sex. Amazing.

I also like, just love the truth telling. I was like, go on with yourself, Rachel. Say what you really want. I love that for you. Okay. Now Jess tells Abby while they drink wine that Nick isn't coming home tonight. He has to hang out with his work friends. They then laugh about how Abby is slowly turning into their mom and how their mom,

yeah yeah they're like a really sweet moment like a real genuine sister moment how do sisters bond by making fun of their mother and so they do that they have that real sweet moment and jess is like in it and she's actually feeling like she can trust her sister a little bit and she goes to go get like the photo album and abby what a dumb dumb cc from cc

Oh my gosh, man. Don't you know it's gonna like pop up on the phone? What are you doing? Has Abby ruined everything yet? And obviously Abby doesn't like that. Even though she's a real piece of work, she still has a soul and a heart and she's a human being. And so Jess comes back out to the living room to find that Abby has taken off. Jessica, I love this part with outside Dave. He's outside, he's on his computer.

Steve Agee. Oh my God. Steve is so funny. Can you write off pee pee? I'm doing my taxes. Is pee pee a write off? Oh no. I'm bringing in more than I'm spending. Oh gosh. So funny. No computer. The seriousness. Everything about his body language. I love him so much. She's growing up a little bit. You know, mom calls and says, I'll take care of it. Don't worry. I'll handle it. And she's like, you know what?

She calls her baby like five times. She's like, baby, baby, baby. And I think she's just like, wait a minute. I need to grow up and handle the situation and stop calling my mom and work through it. Although I would have been like this. I didn't give birth to her. You go handle it, mom. Yeah, that's right. Not my child. Handle your child. You raised her wrong. Not my responsibility. But anyway, she has a growth moment where she's like, I'm going to actually figure this out. Now we're back at the bar mitzvah.

Nick apologizes to Schmidt about getting distracted. Sorry. Schmidt says that Jess is really ashamed of Nick and she is the stupidest bitch in the whole wide world.

I'm so sorry. And he apologizes immediately. Went too far. So sorry. Didn't mean to call her out of her name. So sorry. Wild choice also by the writers to just go that hard, that fast. Now Jess is out there looking for her and she finds her. She finds Abby in a hotel bar. She tells Abby that she's sorry about the text, but she comes, she's like, you do, you do, you do ruin everything.

I love this. I thought she was just going to go and like deal with her sister and whatever. I love the fact that Jess showed up and was like, no, Cece's not wrong to send that text. This is the truth. This is my experience with you. So sorry. She orders Abby to get into the car. Now here's the thing. We're finally back at birdies. Winston, Coach, Cece. Oh man. Birdie, they all, they all sip on soup in silence. That's, that's a tongue twister. To sip on soup in silence on a dull, dark, dark, you know, uh,

Wait, wait, what Winston says though? I can't. He says it like it's this wonderful thing. Birdie had a dream where she killed you. Oh yeah, Birdie had a dream. I'm like, surricizing when she's unconscious, her subconscious is trying to murder you. That's right, I was like...

Oh, the most fun thing ever. The most fun thing ever. I remember shooting this scene. You know what's funny is we talked about this when Birdie kind of popped into the New Girl world. And I had this memory of like, I feel like I had soup with Birdie. And then I was like, oh, maybe it's just like I made that up in my brain. And then I watched this episode and I was like, oh, there it is. Nope, it did happen. Did have soup with Birdie. And the screech, it's always fun, I feel like, to get paid to yell at someone. And so the fact that Daymond is a great yeller. Old yeller is what we call him.

Great Yeller. That we could sit there and... Oh, Yeller. The fact that we could just sit there and yell at each other. And I still love the... You know, you texted Happy Monday. What am I supposed to do? Happy Monday? Have a happy Monday. I love that while this is happening. One of the greatest lines. They clearly have some sexual chemistry there still going on while they're yelling at each other.

but i wouldn't stop then they're just mad about something fisherman's bisque it's got the right amount of tang is that tang yeah that's tang that's sad oh my god also what's a fisherman's bisque you know somebody just sat there in the writer's room googling like the weirdest

A cream-based fish soup that has tang sounds so vile. Have you had lobster bisque? I don't know what it is. You stupid. No. You're missing out. How can... No. Yeah. What, are you like a fan of clam chowder? Are you a clam chowder person? I don't mean the sexual act. I mean the soup. Oh, no. You... Have you ever done the clam chowder? Well, that's a must. That's the one. Okay. That's a must.

Okay, so then they decide to go and try to reenact their first super hot, sexy, amazing makeout. This though, so this is, I guess I didn't realize this has been like on like the Reddit threads about New Girl because we talked about when they go to like the basketball game together and they have that makeout session and I've told that story about how Damon and I could not get it together and he really hurt my tooth.

Right? And they finally were like, they called it, they didn't do it. They just used the wide shot and were like, forget it. These two just have to be friends. But I forgot that they then took that real moment that happened in real life between Damon and I.

the show so that I mean talk about inception level stuff Damon and I had to then reenact as coach and CC the thing that happened to Damon and I when we tried to make out and I hurt my tooth and now we had to pretend that he hurt my tooth

It was the funniest thing. I was like, I forgot that they made us do this thing that happened to us while we were shooting that other episode. That's the joy of network TV. It's organic. They just keep changing stuff up, adding stuff, you know, using real life. And adding stuff from our lives all the time. Anything that would happen. I remember once when we walked in and did just like a little pre-read together before the table read for the pilot episode.

I walked in the room and I was like, hello. And I did this thing with my shoulders and I'll never forget. That's going in the show. It never did actually, which is kind of funny now that I think about it, but it was like that. They would take little moments like, um, the, the phone case that, that Jess has on new girl was Zoe's real phone case.

Right with the bunny ears. I feel like that was Zoe's. And then they're like, this is perfect for Jess. And so they would do those moments. But this incident, we talked about it on a previous episode. Happened between Damon and I. And then it made the show. And that's why Hannah has that false tooth. Yeah, click teeth. Yes. And Damon has my dental bills for life. So they try it. They try to reenact it, but it doesn't work out, obviously. So they shake hands.

and they go to make out again, and then that's the tooth. Now, Abby tells Jess that, you know, she feels like a complete failure. She's come and cleaned her sister. You know, she promised herself that she would never go back to Portland to live with their mom. And, you know, she's just having a rough go of it. Now, here we are back at the bar mitzvah. This scene between Jake and Shirley...

Where he starts saying things where he basically just says he wants to wear a lipstick, wear earrings. I want to be the girl. I was like, wait, wait. The voice he puts on the whole thing is it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. And the way Shirley responds is so great.

Once I went chemistry, those two had it. She's still 96. I want to say she's 96 years old. I believed it. The guy in the crowd who goes just like this, like in support of this love that this man cannot deny. Love that moment. That would be amazing if that was true.

my gosh. Yeah, he does the greatest kiss. They make out, Shirley and Nick. And then before Schmidt can then do the plan, another guy steps in front of him, punches Nick for real. The rabbi stands up and just says, well, here's my daughter. So the plan worked, except for Schmidt wasn't fast enough. Nick walks into the loft and he shows Jess his black, he's wearing these big ass shades, but he comes, he's a black guy. He looks beat up. You know, he tells her that he got beat up at a bar mitzvah. He also lets her know

that he's aware that she is embarrassed of him. Schmidt barges in and wingman's Nick, asking Jess why she's embarrassed of Nick. Jess is confused. She's like, what? And at that moment, Abby walks out of the bathroom and introduces herself. She compliments his uptown butt. And then...

Then Jess comes clean and she tells Nick that she may have lied about her sister. Nick says it's totally fine. There are many Millers in jail. And Jess asks Nick if it's cool for her to stay with them. Nick says yes, but then asks how long? You know, she's like, I don't know, six months. I'm thinking like a weekend. Damn, six months. Nah. But we'll see. We won't know until the next episode. We'll be right back.

When you think about our government, is it clear how it serves us, the citizen, the human? Empathy Affect is Fors Marsh Media's podcast that explores the human side of government. Our show reveals how personal experiences and dedication drive these individuals to serve the American people, from addressing our health and well-being, to issues affecting our veteran community, to public service and more. Hear inspiring stories from the people at the heart of our government.

Tune into Empathy Affects on your favorite podcast app. Some people won't give you the real talk on drugs, but it's time we know the facts. Fentanyl is often laced into illicit drugs and used to make fake versions of prescription pills.

You can't see it, taste it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap. And the dealer might not even know. Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts. Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. We are back. We're back. Sister, sister, sister. You know why I love that episode? I love that episode because I think I might work two days.

Maybe one. Maybe one. Can I tell you what? I love that episode because my hair and makeup in this episode was on point. The lighting in Birdie's apartment was gorgeous. Oh. And I was like, oh. Let me tell you what's not on point. I'm very aware that I watch myself and I'm just like, man, they really, they really like upped their game for this episode. I mean. Let me tell you what was not on point. My haircut. Was it? I didn't notice. I didn't notice.

Yeah. We were having a lot of barber issues on New Girl. I don't know what the hell was going on this week. Well, I guess all the resources went to me this week because I like Chris Hale in this episode. You never gave me shit on that show. Babe. Yeah, babe. What did you think about CeCe and Coach together in real time back then? I know you talked about it a little bit. Yeah. About how awkward it was in that beginning and that's why they had to rewrite. But like,

Before you shot it, did you think, oh, this is a great idea? I think it was. The thing I love so much about TV, if I'm being honest, is that you get the gift of being able to do episode after episode after episode, year after year. You're going to try different combinations of people. It is kind of like a group of friends in that age group where you're like, oh, you're cute. You're cute. Let's see. Nope. Doesn't work. Yep. Does work. It's so much more.

It can mimic, I feel like what real life is. Whereas if it's a movie, it's all written, done, dusted. You're not sitting there like halfway through your movie being like, hold on, we got to change this whole thing. Cause I see there could be something here between you people. You make each other laugh. Let's see what this is about. So TV gives you that flexibility of trying it. And it was just so funny because it was so clear that Damon and I get along as friends and we make each other laugh and we're very similar. And then they tried it on the show and it just didn't work. But then that became the bit.

And I loved how that like new girl writers were so smart in figuring that part out. So I love the CC coach stuff together because it's just honest, you know, and shows like how the writing would adapt and move with what made sense and what was best for the show. You know, I thought it was great. I, you're right. I like the,

the organic fluid nature of it. Things happen, people get together, they don't get together, you're trying stuff out. It is like life. So I was for it. I was very disappointed when I realized you guys didn't know how to kiss on camera. Okay, with so many great guest stars in this episode, who made you break on set the most?

I mean, I feel like I really didn't have much to do except for when Damon yelled happy Monday. I think Damon probably made me laugh.

the entire time we were yelling at each other. Because he does that thing when he yells and he does everything at a different level and deeply commits, right? So he might yell really loud, but then the next thing when you're in a yelling exchange, he'll get real low and you just don't expect it and it makes you laugh. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because he'll just go back and forth in how he argues in the funniest way. So I'm going to go with Damon.

- Yeah, I'm gonna go at myself. - Fisherman Bisk made me laugh at myself. - I did, you know what I mean? 'Cause there are times where I'm just like, wow, how did you do it, Lamorne? You're so genius level. And I was very grateful to myself for bringing the heat this episode, especially while sipping cold bisque. Sometimes you gotta bring the heat, sometimes you gotta bring it, and I did.

Tang. So yeah, I will tell myself. All the Tangs. It's got a Tang to it. I will say, it was very cute to see because I love these moments with us because it's not like we were in each other's storylines a lot at this point.

But the two shot where I show up with the ladles and you and I are standing next to each other is such a cute little two shot. And I'm happy that they started to do it slowly and started to figure out how to get more of us together. And even in just moments like that, it's really cute to see them because they never tried anything with us. And

And so the fact that you can just see that this is going to slowly be a friendship, like why is she bringing the ladles? They're laying these little moments of groundwork. It's cute. Yeah. I wonder if there's a photo of that because like a still that anyone has used of that. I don't know. People should. People should put it on their little friendship board. It's cute. Hannah, do you ever catch yourself monologuing like Schmidt?

Mind you, I lived alone, but with three cats. So I had lots of living creatures to talk to. I was monologuing a lot when Lily wasn't able to talk. Oh, yeah. I would try to like give her talks. Clearly she can't talk back. So it was just me talking. That's the only time I would monologue. Now she won't let me get a sentence out.

So Lily, dad, so today I, and then I, she monologues all the time. Well, she learned it from you. She's like, this man talks nonstop and does not take a break. She's like, I guess this is how humans operate. You're welcome. This is how daddy pays the bills. Yeah, no? That's how those bills get paid. And tough. Oh, what a great episode. Linda Cardellini. I'm excited to recap the next ones. See what happens with Abby.

Oh, yeah, folks, listen, thank you for being here. As always, we truly, truly appreciate it. Make sure you go ahead and follow us on Instagram at the mess around pod. We love when you put the comments in the sections. We love when you send these, you know, your repost our stuff on your story and you send it to friends. We love when you tag LeBron James in our clips. It's great.

So please make sure you continue to do that. Send us questions, videos, concerns. It doesn't matter. TheMessAroundPod at gmail.com. That's TheMessAroundPod at gmail.com. Now, next week, Hannah, episode 317, Sister 2. 2. I feel like was the naming of these episodes like an homage to Sister Act and then Sister Act 2? Sister Act 2. I was just about to say. Sister 2. Sister 2. See you next week.

Peace. That was The Mess Around, an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our senior producer is Abu Zafar. Bay Wang provided engineering and editing services. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. Catch you next time. Bye. When you think about our government, is it clear how it serves us, the citizen, the human? Empathy, affect,

Thank you.

Tune into Empathy Affects on your favorite podcast app. We've all been there. I mean, I've been there. In the line at the grocery store, waiting for your latte at the coffee counter, pick up at your child's school, everyone standing around in silence, eyes down. But what if you smiled first? Colgate is here to give you the confidence to do just that. One smile can break the tension and open the door to a real connection. It's a small gesture with a big reward. Colgate helps you show the world your confident smile. Hi.

I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history.

Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians, people like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers, and so many other fascinating people, like writer and actor Dan Aykroyd.

I love writing more than anything. You're left alone. You know, you do three hours in the morning, you write three hours in the afternoon, go pick up a kid from school, and write at night. And after nine hours, you come out with seven pages, and then you're moving on. Listen to Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.