403: Julie Berkman's Older Sister

2025/4/24

The Mess Around with Hannah and Lamorne

Shownotes Transcript

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That's not a compliment. You look like you're going to church. I said you look like you're going to church. You look like you're somebody's auntie. Like you're somebody's auntie for the first time in a long time. I am so many people's auntie though and I like it. You're stepping out. You're about to show Jesus that if he choosing, choose you. These are all still compliments to me.

This is all still things that I like to hear. Yes, Jesus picked me. I have full pick me energy when it comes to Jesus. Why are you wearing a dress with the shoulders with the Phil Jackson shoulder pads?

I'm just playing professional ball, man. What can I tell you? I put on my jersey. Why are you dressed up? I got my floofy arms on. Hannah, knock it off. You went somewhere today. No, you know what? I always, everybody knows this, I always wear my Mess Around merch because I live in it and I love it so much. You can get yours at themessaroundpod.com. And then I went to record with you today and I managed to spill my entire cup of tea all over it.

So I literally grabbed the top of my drawer, which is this very cute Farm Rio bodysuit all the way from Brazil. Did you go to Brazil to get it? No, but I would. I've been to so many countries. I've never been to Brazil. You've never been to Brazil? You look like you could be Brazilian. I have been mistaken many a time for Brazilian.

There you go. There you go. Now I'm wearing the clothes. Now I just need a plane ticket. Somebody hit me up. Air Brazil. Is that a thing? Send me there. Air Brazil. I think so. I think so. It's just filled with butt injections. Just the most beautiful human beings in the world. I'll sit. They'll put me in the cabin or something. Get down there. Hello. Hello.

Look at you. You got a collar on. We do actually look quite formal for today's episode. Well, here's why I'm dressed this way. It's because when I woke up this morning in this, I woke up in a different T-shirt. And I was about to go and shower. And then as I took the shirt off, I was about to go shower and my phone rang. It was an important call, so I took the call. And then now, before I know it, I'm walking around my house. I'm in the kitchen. I say, oh, let me make breakfast while I'm on the phone. Making breakfast, eating. Before I know it, the time has slipped away from me.

And I said, you know, I don't have time to go and get in the shower and get all my morning rituals going. I said, I just got to put on another T-shirt. I put the T-shirt on. I sat down, looked at the camera and said, no, your T-shirt looks kind of crummy. You know, just, you know. So I threw the jacket on. I see. Over it. I see. Both of us are just trying to make it work today. That's right. I threw a hat on.

And that's it. Both of us just trying to figure it out today and somehow ended up looking hella cute. I just want to say. Thank you for saying so. We're looking good on the podcast today.

Um, well, we have a really exciting episode today. And it's really funny for me about this, whenever you watch the episode, was some of my favorite moments were in this episode, but I did not know what was this episode. Does that make sense? Same, same here. Yeah. Right. So episode 403, Julie Berkman's older sister, aka Trashly, give us the rundown.

Oh my gosh. So in this episode, when Jess discovers that her dad is dating and in love with her old high school nemesis, Trashly Berkman, she enlists some help from Cece to make sure a wedding will never happen. Now, meanwhile, Schmidt asked the boys to help him rig a focus group in an attempt to impress his boss and secure the coveted Sponge account. Let's go to break. Hopefully we have a Sponge sponsor.

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scrub your daddy we're back and we're back turns out we do not have a sponsor oh my gosh so we were just talking about what we were wearing this is highly thrilling content for you guys um but i will say i had the thought and then i got distracted and now i realized i was going to wear a yellow sweater and like a green toque you're kidding so it kind of looked like a sponge so you can look like a sponge well so you were going to do that intentionally

Yeah, well, when I messed up my mess around sweater and I was like, oh, I grabbed my yellow sweater and I could wear a green toque. And then I got a little distracted and then I grabbed this bodysuit instead. And if I'm being a thousand percent honest, the bangs are banging today. And if I wear a toque, it kind of messes up my hair.

and I was just like, you know what, forget the spouch. Or you can wear the toque on the back of the head. You know, you can wear it on the back. You gotta have a real special shaped head to just have it hang off like that. I've tried, it doesn't work. I got a little head. This is how I know you're not creative, okay? Because y'all put all these clips and stuff in your hair to keep different hair pieces in. Figure out a clip to keep the toque on the back. I have no clips in my head.

This is it. This is it. We get it, Hannah. You're all natural. I'm all natural. And the Indian hair is just like this, you guys. Yeah, you're going to wake up and have that shit cut off and sold immediately. Have I hit hard times? Have I show up here bald one day and be like, she's having financial problems. Okay, let's dive in because there's so much to talk about. This was directed by the amazing Fred Goss and written by

Nina! Nina Padrod, which is Nassim's little sis. She was on the writing staff of New Girl, and this is such a great episode. She's crazy talented, man. She's on everything. Oh, she's super gifted. I text her about this episode. She did not respond. Some disrespect right there. Nina! I had some questions. I don't know if the number's... I could have been texting somebody else. My text to her was, Nina? I don't know if she has this number or not. I have no idea.

I have no idea. That's the scariest thing because you're asking me if I'm me. Yeah. That's a hard pass for me. Are you you? Yeah. So she didn't answer, but I did have some questions. And we'll get... I want to say we'll get there. There was a mention of a band. I got to forget where it was. But the Copays...

Do you remember that? Go face. Rob Reiner. There we go. There we go. That's what it was. That's what it was. But I wanted to ask her about what. Okay. Yeah, we'll get there. So in this particular episode. Oh, man. Even the start of this, they just have to go full Nick disgusting. I mean, just absolutely gross. So Schmidt asked Nick why his idea notebook is covered in stains. And Nick says it's either sloppy, Joe.

or blood i want to say man the pop the flashback pop felt unnecessary i got it i believed it it's nick miller then you just show me the sloppiest show i've ever seen and then you just show me the blood pouring out of his nose yeah and then it might be yeah it was that was uh gross that was gross but but you know right on brand for this show you have to show how insane yeah i did love a good flashback pop those are always fun to shoot

Oh, yeah. Those are the best days sometimes, too, when it's like a day of flashbacks. Yeah. It's such a, because it shows up in the script as a scene. And sometimes, you know, these work hours get a little long. And when you see it in the schedule, you look and it says flashback.

and you look how many pages it is and you go it's like one-eighth of a page yeah perfect one-eighth also like barely any maybe you would say one word if anything yeah you would get to do something funny and that was always nice we had a lot of dialogue heavy scenes we had to really memorize all your lines and your cues and which was great but yeah the flashbacks were great because you were usually doing something ridiculous yeah that was nice that's true

Jess comes in and she asks if anyone has seen the French press. And Nick says he was the one who used it to get the pulp out of his orange juice.

And then it kind of, this thing of 64B and the tagine is where the French press is. And this, I was like, again, this show is a bit ahead of its time because right now everybody is into hyper organization in their home. It's like taken off in a crazy way. Organizers, professional organizers coming in and doing these things in your house is wild. I was about to, I was about to challenge you on that for a second. And then I realized.

You had organizers come to your idea. Yeah. I had someone come in and organize my kitchen. That's what I'm saying. Schmidt was ahead of the game. I didn't even realize until I went into the pantry the other day and I was like, and I was, I was, I was making Lily lunch for school. And I said, Oh,

crap i don't remember if i if i have uh like she loves these like little cheddar bunnies oh yeah i was like i don't think i have any more damn it i forgot to go grab some and i go in there and i'm looking it's a pretty big pantry so i'm looking around looking around and i'm realizing oh they're all labeled and i didn't pay attention to it they've been labeled this whole time but i walk in there and i'm just looking i'm like where are they and then i go oh

It was a quick like Lily snacks, apples, bananas, cheddar bunnies. It's in the C section of snacks. I was like, oh, this is good. I see why people do this.

Because, Nora, where I'm from, let me tell you something. We don't, like, my mom, even still, I have one of these. Everybody, I think every family, even if you have an organized house, you have to have a junk drawer. Everybody has a junk drawer. It's weird, like wires and tape and pens. And matches and all kinds of stuff in there. Loose credit cards that are expired. Yeah.

Old batteries. One day I'm going to charge this battery. Yes, exactly. Old batteries that don't work anymore. You're like, I'm going to charge this one day. And you're just like, I can't put it in the garbage landfill. It'll explode. They told us we cannot put this in the trash. What about the fish? Think about the fish. The fish. Surrounded by old, useless batteries. Okay, there's a moment in this open.

when they are trying to find the tagine am i in this right spot i think so where i swear it's that was improvised because i think in the script there was a line where like they like coach comes from the bathroom right and he improvs this thing of like you know he says something and then he goes like i don't know why but the bathroom smells really bad right he makes a joke yeah he says i was

I was... You stopped me in the middle of a... Or a prairie dog. Prairie doggy. There we go. I was prairie... You made me prairie dog. I don't go to the bathroom. It smells really bad in there. No, he goes, now his bathroom stinks for no reason. Bathroom stinks for no reason.

but here's the thing what i think this is my guess on this my guess on this because everybody had a little smile on their face was that they just had him come from that hallway and damon then you know maybe jake or you went like you just came from from the shitter this is what just happened to you everybody came from a bedroom and of course and damon had to say something about it yeah so he says that and then when the scene ends

Jake adds a little weird bit about the 64B tagine that was not in the script. He just improvs it. And Max can't let it sit.

And he reenters and screams that line of like, what are you doing there? You're killing animals. And it's all, I think, just because they made Damon come from down the hall. And they kept this whole toilet stinky poop vet in because you guys were just trying to make the day fun.

That's my guess. - Absolutely. No, that guess is correct. I think, you know, a lot of times on this show, you give an inch, we'll take a mile. - That's right. - You know what I mean? Like, we'll burn that thing to the ground. And then they, you know, the cool thing about our team

is that once it hits the editing room, they try it. Whatever you try, they'll see how they can make it work. They'll see what's the best possible hilarious outcome. And that was it. Damon made that up. Yeah. And then the fact that then Nick kind of added to it, Jake added to it, and then the quickness of Max to come out in the best Schmidt voice, that yelling, screaming one, and to do that. Oh, my gosh. He killed me.

Oh, man. Oh, yeah, because that was when they did the flashback of you, too, where you burned your under? Burned my unders. I come in my room, Nick's in my room, and I'm drawing myself off, you know, looking. Honestly, when I watched it back, when I watched it back, what a regal body. What a regal body.

you know, glorious, but I don't know what mode I was in there, but I was clearly in sex mode because I looked like, you know, you look fully lotioned, man. Gotta be, first of all, you gotta stay moist. You're very moisturized. Moist, you can't be on camera looking dry and ashy. I've made that mistake before. A lot of actors do. I had to, I had to,

lather myself up and then as you're drying yourself off with a towel yeah it happens you know you can like burn you go first of all you're going too hard sometimes when you're in a rush you know you get a dry towel that maybe has been sitting out for a while which probably happens in this loft they probably don't they probably don't wash the towels they just let them stiff dry little they don't stiff dry you burn yourself every once in a while get a little rug burn and you know and nothing god can't fix

Justin announces that her dad and new girlfriend are coming to visit. And then my character, Cece, is delighted. And I forgot about this super cute flashback. And it genuinely made me laugh. Where...

He talks about the car and the woman's like, I don't even have a car. She's like, get one. Yeah. Little girls are crazy in the delight and little CC. It was such a cute, great little flashback. I love that too. When they showed like how things go all the way back for their friendship. Yeah. The special part of this show when they do that kind of stuff. So. What's the girl's name who plays you? Jaden. Jaden looks. Have you seen her recently? Yeah.

I haven't seen her recently. She looks exactly like you. I know we're twins. I'll find a picture. We took a picture together in the last season. We took a picture and it was like, it's just me 20 years ago. Like we are so similar and she's so kind and so wonderful and so talented. We were so lucky to scoop her up when she was little. And yeah, she was with us the whole eight years.

My gosh I watched that flashback And I was just like Is that hand What the thing I was like What the heck is this

Everybody, it's been on so many lists as one of the great like adult kid castings. Yeah. Like on TV history. Yeah. It's uncanny for sure. Yeah. And she's super sweet and kind and I love her very much. That's so good. Okay. The reveal. Yes. The reveal of who Rob Reiner is dating. Oh my gosh. Is Caitlin Olsen. Yes.

whose delivery at the dining table the way she does these comedic turns where you think she's gonna sit there and try to like protect her reputation and she leads you that way with the tone she's using and then she's like and no it didn't work you know i banged like 9 000 guys and it was like really great and it's so funny to me how she does it it's like

You get like 10 red herrings thrown at you. It's so great. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's funny. I don't, you know, I tried to think while watching this, did I, have I known any, because obviously later on it's revealed that she is a sex therapist. Yes. A sex therapist. Which still makes the text she was getting strange. Let me explain something to you. She was lying. That's my theory.

She was a sex therapist, but she was still getting dicked down in Dallas. Why is that man coming just to get her stuff too from the sex addicts? It's not like she was having a relapse and she needed to call a support person. In what world are you a guest in someone's home and then you call somebody else to show up and invite them into this home without informing the homeowner? She also did go get him in her car. He doesn't have a car. She drove him back. Yeah, and then just had him in your bedroom.

I don't like this. But she wasn't having a relapse, which is usually when you would call your AA sponsor or your whatever sponsor for your addiction. All she's doing is she's deciding to take a break in her relationship. Why are you calling someone who's also a sex addict? That's part of it. To me, I was like, I don't understand what's happening. And so I kept thinking, we're going to learn that she is what Jess is right. Yeah, that's what I thought.

That's what I thought. So this whole episode caught me off guard. Yeah, me too. Because I'd seen it. I'd seen it. Obviously, I was there. We were there. But I forgot. I thought for sure it was going to come back that she was a cheater. She's just lying and she's going to break his heart. And it wasn't the case. Also, I didn't realize that like sleeping with your D.A.R.E. officer is a terrible thing. I was like, she's 16, 17 years old, I guess. I don't know. And she slept with the D.A.R.E. officer. Like, that's a terrible thing.

to consenting humans? What's wrong? Why? Isn't dare about staying off drugs? Just because they're having... Oh, no. What? Yeah. Joel, who's going to tell her? What? Joel, who's going to tell her about the laws in this country? Oh, yeah.

joelle who's good so a grown man a grown man shows up what about a teenage dare officer this is a grown man okay then it's statutory rape this is terrible but that should be on the dare officer not on trashley berkman well i mean it's not on her well it should it should be on both no not according to the laws of your country

Yeah, it is. According to the laws of the country, she's not in trouble. He's in trouble. No, it is on both, but he has the harsher penalty because he is an adult. She's no penalty. Yeah, if I was her mama, I would whoop her little ass.

Well, instead her daddy came. That's the punishment. You did what with the dare officer? First of all, he ain't going to make it to prison because I'm going to put a bullet in him and then I'm going to whoop your little ass. You know what also made me laugh is this idea of Rivermouth is crazy. Rivermouth. Rivermouth is crazy. George Xiong the Giardian Giant. Oh.

Should be the new tongue twister for all the kids to try to say. George G. Yang thinks you're already a giant. It's very tricky. Yeah. Very funny. Okay, so now we're going to cut away from this to go to maybe what is my favorite. I remember this scene so deeply. It's one of my favorite scenes ever in New Girl where you guys are all sitting on the bench in the bathroom and all Schmidt is trying to get you to say is anything but the word giant.

We can't stop saying it. The way you do it killed me. Cause you take like, like 20 seconds, which is forever in like comedy TV. And then you're like sponge. When coach almost makes. Yeah.

- It's so funny, but it is true. If somebody says something so much, your brain just like stops. - Here's what I like about scenes like this. Whenever they would put us four in a scene where it's like, just go be stupid. Just take turns doing bits.

You like, like pile into each other's bits, outbid each other, see who's going to do the stupidest bit, the dumbest thing. It's so it's like, I'm, I'm telling you that scene went on so long. They just cut it into that. I remember, I remember filming it and then thinking, well, I can't wait, you know, you know, a month from now we'll see it. I'm anxious to see,

what they use, like what the cut's gonna look like. - 'Cause they have so many options. Also, by the way, that's such a big credit to Fred Goss, awesome director, 'cause you can see it again in the first one where you guys all make fun of Damon for going to the bathroom, right? And he makes fun of himself. And in this sponge scene,

you that's just him letting you guys have that runway too and not be like he's not you know being married to like the time oh god we gotta get to the next thing whatever realizing letting you guys go in those moments is where they're gonna find the gold and that is why this episode to me was so funny is those moments and I will say I feel like

It's the episode that I have seen so far in our rewatch, Jake Johnson break the most. He has the Jake smile on his face in so many scenes, just watching you guys be idiots. He's so happy.

Oh my God. It's the best. It's the easiest days. They're the best days. Yeah. When you sit back and think about it, there's a whole scene about a sponge. I know. And all we say is sponge. That's it. Also, it's such a fun day because you look and you go, this is going to be a really, really funny scene. And I don't have to memorize anything. It's two words, one word. And so, you know, it's all in the other stuff, which is so fun to do.

It's all going to be a group shot, right? So it's so fun. The reactions and the little moments and the little tiny improvs you're now free to do. It's such a fun episode. This also, okay. So when Schmidt goes back to work and the great Michaela Watkins, who plays Gina, um, is there and he's like begging for the sponge account. And, um,

And she's like, no, I'm giving it to this other character in the office. It's called like the football. Yeah. And then when he begs for it, she finally gives it to him. By the way, her performance is so incredibly funny. Michaela Watkins' performance is so funny and dry and annoyed and perfect. But then when he comes out and he goes sports and he like hits the football, all she does is stand up and he drops to the floor and screams and crawls away. Yeah.

The physical comedy in this episode is just killing me. Yeah, Max is pretty brilliant at that type of stuff. Like, he's pretty damn good. The drop and crawl and shriek was killing me.

Okay, then we're back at the dinner table. We're learning all of this crazy stuff. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Ashley's letting us know. Back in high school, she was on a ton of ecstasy. That made me laugh so much. I was like, damn. Just doing E and watching the movie, Ed TV. You know what's so funny? When I heard that, I thought... When I heard that, I immediately...

for some reason, I thought I heard what I heard, but I didn't. And I looked at you in that moment and I thought, I wonder if Hannah ever, and this is so out of, this is so left field. If Hannah knows who Ed the Sock is. Oh yeah, of course I do.

That's a Canadian thing. Well, he was on Much Music, and I was a VJ on Much Music. He was a co-worker. Ed the Sock was a co-worker. Yeah. So was Nardwar. Have you known who Nardwar is? I know who Nardwar is. But I don't think... I think Ed the Sock is such a deep cut for folks. And I randomly knew about that when I was... I shoot these BMO commercials. Shout out to my BMO family. And I remember...

Joanne, our makeup artist, was like, somebody, one of the crew members mentioned it, and she used to be one of the sock dancers. They used to do hot tubs. They would get girls in bikinis and get them in a hot tub, and there's a man standing outside with a sock on his hand saying really out-of-pocket stuff. Yeah, so when you said... He had his own hot tub late night show at the sock.

It was not okay. And I thought, for some reason, it popped in my head when she said, I was doing a lot of E and watching a lot of Ed. I thought she said Ed the sock. I mean, it's really funny. You should pitch that.

Oh, gosh. Should we do some ADR on it? Yeah. We could do a re-release. I think we are doing a re-release. Yeah. They're giving us $8 million per episode each. Just to do this ADR. So this incredible scene where you're watching Jessica, highly triggered, because she's like, I'm a sex addict. I do all these things. The drugs, the sex, the group thing, all of it. And they're watching...

The dad, Rob Reiner, not care. Love it. Not at all. Absolutely love it. Knows all about it. Can't surprise me. Can't shock me. Does the funniest singing ever. Made me want to crawl under my couch. So funny. And when she's like, stop. You're going to make me fall in love with you all over again. No, do what I want to. So funny. I just love how then...

Cece gets to be excited because she's like, oh yeah, this is why I came today. I came for the free show. Like, let's go. This is perfect. We're doing the drama and it doesn't involve me. Cece watches a lot of reality TV. Yes. So does the woman who plays Cece. Okay. Now we're in the parking garage for what is another ridiculous bit filled scene with double A's. Yes. Uh,

Schmidt has gathered the troops. He's got a plan, right? He's got Nick, Coach, Winston, and he wants to rig the focus group that he's been tasked with putting together. He's promised them pizza.

That is the thing. And then it turns into a whole bit. Nick is just like, you know what, man? I'm out. I can buy my own pizza. Does anybody have $15? But like 22 with like, I want like a lot of ham. Yeah. It's like 25. And then the tip,

is crazy. Don't tip delivery people. Yeah, you do tip delivery people. Literally driving to your house to give you your food. Coach says he needs an hour to get into character. And Schmidt said no. So I just need one hour alone in the room to get into character. No. And he's like, all right, great. Like unfazed.

And then Winston Wills gets his head knocked off. He's like, listen, I'm in. Assuming pizza is still at the table. And Schmidt is, say pizza again. I just want to talk about toppings and pizza. And he tries to fight the parking lot. He tries to fight him and get held back. Oh, man. Oh, my gosh. So funny. The focus group stuff was really, really funny. I just remember right at the beginning of that, Nick is hitting it off with Brittany.

My goodness. The smoothness. You know what it is? Those kinds of things are very important for women to watch because the way he did it is so dumb and effective. So effective. Just ask the simplest question. And then he's like, we have so much in common. Hey, I'm Nick. I was like, what in common? You have nothing in common. You're just sitting in a room together. You think this is dumb, right? Yeah, it's dumb. We have so much in common.

Oh, my gosh. It's so funny. The handshake, the flirting is so hysterical. Yeah, me too. Like, whatever she says, like, yeah, me too. Totally think that too. We're going to come back to that. But let's go back and see if the sponge sponsor has been secured yet. I don't think so, but we'll be right back. And we are back. Before we dive into this, Hannah, I am curious. I forgot where we left off this ridiculous, utterly ridiculous segment. Here's where we left off with the bear.

Oh, the bear. I didn't know we were speaking about that, but okay. Go ahead, Hannah. What do you mean then? What were you going to say? I thought you were going to come at me with a bear again because listen, you've made it very clear you want to hear about the bear. I do my own bear thing. I do a whole bear recap that happens at the end of every season now and it works great and we find all the bears and all my bear people are happy and you do not have to be involved and so it works for the whole family. Okay, fine, Hannah. Since you want to talk about bears, let's just get into it. Did you find one? I did. All right. Because I'm supposed to do anything

We made a deal. Plowing ahead, moving on. You have so many sisters by choice that you get to have a real sister relationship with where we're just here to annoy you and yell at you. But if they're all by choice, it's the greatest thing about your life. It is by choice. All of us are here by choice. All these sisters in your life. And none of you respect me. No, but we love you. Yeah, I know. That's all I can say.

Now, this goes back to what you said earlier about the real reason why Cece is here. Your suggestion is to go through Ashley's phone for dirt, which is very effective.

but also shame on you. Never go through someone's private stuff. You've definitely gone through people's phone. Can I be honest with you? Can I, can I, can I be a hundred percent honest with you? A hundred percent. A hundred percent honest with you. Yeah. That was a Caitlin Olson, a Julie Berkman read right there. Can I be honest with you? Yes, I have. I mean, it's been a while, but I have. It's been a while for me too, but I definitely have too. And you know what I'll say? Effective and worth it.

Yes, yes. You always find what you're looking for. That's right. Not great. Yeah. Cece's like, hello. She's like drugs and sex and whatever it is with your dad. We're looking through her phone. But the problem is that when you've got that lens on your eyeballs, whatever you're going to find is going to fit that narrative. And then that's what happens. They storm in the bedroom and they're like, gotcha.

And then this is the part where we have some issue with. Yeah, just a little bit. The cumin part, though, was brilliant writing, Nina. Oh, my gosh. Cumin. Is that about cumin? I'm cumin. A little Indian spice right there. A little masala going on. Oh, gosh. That's funny. Jim is one of my clients. It's so wild. I don't believe it. Yeah, because it could have gone any way. Jim is one of my clients.

What kind of sex therapist are we talking about? Yeah. What kind? You know, because some people say women of the evening, you know, professional sex workers are sex therapists. Sure. You know what I mean? We don't know. But here's what I will say. It seems like Bob, the dad...

knows everything and he has no problem with it. So it's irrelevant. But I do know that feeling and understand it from Jess's point of view where she's like, yeah, it's no problem until it's a problem. And then I'm always picking up the pieces for my dad's dating life and I don't want to, and this has trouble written all over it and I don't want to do it. So I can also kind of understand that response. Yeah. Yeah. You know,

A lot of times, though, I would say with people...

They get into these things and they don't realize that it's a habitual thing and that it's always bad. The people on the outside can see it. It's like when you have a friend and they introduce you to someone, you already know it's not going to work out. Sure. But you don't want to say anything because you've tried before in the past. And people have to go through their own motions. It's their own journey, their own story. So you got to let him go through this. Daughter or not, this man...

is aged. This man has seen some things. He has done his duty. This is what I'm saying too. It's not like he's trying to get married and have a kid and has to have that, whatever. No, he's just, let him do what he wants to do. But then you also have the ability to say, if it all falls apart,

That's not on me now. You're grown. I'm grown. Do your thing. You know how many, I'm getting to them. I'm 41 right now, right? And I'm getting to that age. A lot of my friends are obviously in their 40s. Some are in their 50s. Some are in their 60s, right? I have some acquaintances in their 70s. You know what I mean? You see, depending on maybe their financial status, their relationships, maybe they're divorced.

You see them with very young women and they have a smile on their face from ear to ear. And I go, I can't stop you from being happy. You got to check in on her. You good? Like this what you want? And she's at nine, 99% of the time. They're like, this is great because she,

They each fulfill something that one is lacking or one is, you know. Here's what I will say about people. Some people have a lot of time on their hands. Oh, the time in the world to walk around and go to a happy couple of two consenting adults. I don't care what age, race, gender, combination you would like, whatever it is, whatever you are together. And people have like, want to have an opinion or a thought on it. And I'm like, how much time do you have? Also, you want me to poke into your life?

I don't think so. If they're consenting adults and they are happy, two of them together, five of them together, I don't care what you think. Nothing to do with me. I'm over here trying to just get my own life together. And I don't want you looking at my life too close. Hannah, are you trying to justify your underage and the dare officer comment? I assumed it was like...

it was like another, like the same age person. You didn't have D.A.R.E. officers coming to Saudi Arabia because there's no reason for it in Saudi Arabia. We had D.A.R.E. officers and these were grown men. These were cops. See, I don't know what a D.A.R.E. officer looks like. These were cops. That's an issue. When they're off time, they come and talk to the kids. I'm not Googling D.A.R.E. officer. You know what I mean? Well, you don't want to. In this reference. Yeah.

Also, I thought this was kind of a great moment when Ashley Berkman

says oh by the way george gave me the gre he had the river mouth and i saved you from it and i was like man so many times the rumors that would fly around school were always pinned on the girl yep all the time yeah and i thought and i thought it was like really sweet that in this moment it was like again great having female writers being just like also let's just get the rumors straight

But guess what? Somebody had to give George that river mouth. Maybe he just swam around the river and got Giardia. Maybe it was Jess. It all comes full circle. So this all happens. Bob storms off saying he knew it was a bad idea to bring Ashley there.

He's super upset, just realizes she's made a mistake. Now back in the lab of the focus group where the, where coach and Winston and Nick are trying to remember their written lines and go off script in a way that is so funny and unhinged and it's,

The way Max is moving around the room closer and closer to the two-way mirror and it's making Michaela Watkins want to just strangle him was so funny to me, too. The two-way mirror is so disorienting, so I kind of get it. She's like, not a mirror, not a mirror. Not a mirror, not a mirror, you idiot. Not a mirror. And Winston, so this is one of those moments that I remember going full Winston.

This was a complete brain meltdown Winston mode when he's just trying to talk about this, you know, the sponge. He's like, and he is Thor. He is my hammer. Yeah.

Melno. He's in a different place. He's gone full Winston. The Winston stutter is so funny of trying to get the brain to work. Also, coach improvising, or not improvising, but coach character improvising this moment of...

squishy whip. Give me a hit of that squishy whip. I don't know why that made me laugh too. Also, Nick being like, move on. Move away from me. Move on because he knows he's going to say something that's going to upset his friend. Michaela Watkins comes in. She's pissed. She's clear. It's rigged because these guys are terrible actors. Which also, by the way, I was kind of like, y'all are messing with his job. Yeah. As soon as Jake started or Nick started doing that, I was thinking to myself,

What a shitty friend. I can understand with Coach and Winston. They're trying. They're just bad at it. Nick is just like, this is stupid, dude. I'm not doing this. It's his job. Like, bro. His boss. I was like, man. And that's why I think it is, you know, Nick that runs and goes and tries to make it right because he realized he went too far. So he goes and tries to fix it and inadvertently does, but not because he's clever about it. But he helps him. He helps him in the process.

I guess we're going to get to that. We're going to get to that. Yeah. We're going to get to that. Yeah. Oh, we're back with Bob. Bob says he can take care of himself. Jess says that Bob has almost ended up with Nancy Zimmerman. Bob says the point is he's still standing.

Oh, yeah. Nancy Zimmerman. I think that's the woman who pretended she was paraplegic. Yeah. And then she's like, oh, forget it. And walked away. But then this is what we were talking about. Like, the dad releases Jess and basically says, like, okay, well, maybe I'll get hurt again, but you don't need to take care of me anymore. Like...

let me just be happy. For a moment, I'm happy. Even if it doesn't end well, just like, let me have this. And it's really sweet. She gets it. Then they see this guy, the chocoholic, that she's given a ride to. Chocoholic. My favorite was what he said. If you were black, I'd be in trouble. Thank you?

is the greatest response to. Thank you. So funny. Insane. It's a straight vodka, by the way. Good morning. Ashley then tells Bob she needs a little space. Um...

And then Jess is like, no, we're going to make again, insert yourself. By the way, Bob just said, I got it. And she's like, no, we're going to get the ring and this is going to be fine. We then go back to Gina's office. Nick barges in and says, please don't fire my friend Schmidt. He's the cleanest man I know. And he's like on a track. It's not working. I'm trying to justify it. And then sidebars really quick with Schmidt. And he's like, that's not the way I need like, and then there's the funniest diminishing of numbers ever. 15 to 30.

Five is braggy. It's a little braggy. Three. It is a three. Otherwise it's disrespectful to the woman. It's so funny. And then, and this is when, and this is when Schmidt is, you know, he's, he, you know, he chimes in. He's like, what if she's turned, turned off by the miss? He says, well, I'll put a tarp down, you know?

And that's when it comes to Schmidt. Like, hey, you know, I think I got it. Yeah, the dirtiest thing in the room should be her. And then you watch Michaela's face because she's like, oh, yeah, that's actually good. And they weren't trying to pitch. This was just their conversation. They had gone off track of what the pitch was going to be.

Oh, so the man sponge now is the thing. He gets the account. It works. We go back to Bob and Jess and Ashley and the weirdest proposal of all time. But she says yes, which is amazing. Oh, yeah. And then they all get back together in the loft.

And they do a cheers. This is so stupid. He's wiping it up with his feet. Coach is like, there's literally a sponge in your hand. Didn't it make you think in that moment that there was a sponge sponsor for that episode? Because I was like, in that moment, they had to show that the sponge did work. And sometimes when we'd get sponsors on the show, like you have to always show it in a good light, even if you're making fun of it. But I was like, this feels...

We're watching an ad at the end, and then they cut to the fake ad. Yes. Very sexy. I forgot to look her up. Who did it?

sexy lady. I'm not uncomfortable. That's how I know because I get very uncomfortable if I see like super sexy things on screen. And I was like, this is super sexy for our show. I looked around and I said, Lily ain't in here, is she? Am I alone watching this? I was like, whoa, they really did like that ad. I was like, holy smokes. Like the straight to camera is me. I was like, okay.

And it worked. And everyone ran out and they sold so many sponges on the day that episode aired. It's still a record to this day. I hope so. And we got no back. That's right. That's why I didn't dress like a sponge because I'm still pissed. Okay, when we come back, should we mess around? Imagine you're like, no. No, I'm good. No, I'm good, actually. Bye. See you after the break.

We'll be right back.

the food truck court to keep you fed while you visit us, alright? Listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets now at blackeffect.com slash podcast festival. There's a lot in life that feels like it should be guaranteed that just isn't. Fortunately, AT&T guarantees connectivity you can depend on. Or they'll make it right. AT&T. Connecting changes everything. Terms and conditions apply. Visit att.com slash guarantee to learn more.

♪ ♪

Hello.

Hello, darlings. Pack your suitcase for a new season of the Hulu original reality series, Band of Pumpvilla. Let's do this. Ciao, it's Stassi. Of course Lisa brought in her favorite to be resident chaperone of the castle.

Dossie is an icon. She's my eyes and ears. I love this. Get ready for the luxury and drama that awaits us in Italy. Cheers to all the toxic couples in the castle. Season two of Vanderpump Villa is now streaming on Hulu. And we... Sounds like how I beatbox. Oh, gosh. This is how I beatbox.

I'm that good, y'all. I'm that good. That was fantastic. I'm so good. Okay, any great stories of doing this episode with Rob Reiner and...

Caitlin Olsen. I will say what I remember about doing it with Caitlin Olsen is she was on The Mic, I feel like, at the same time, which was her show. And it was a really big deal. You know, she'd gotten her own TV show. It was really funny. She loved doing it. It was also on Fox. And then, yeah, she came over and did this fun episode with her. I'm pretty sure that it was at the same time. And I just thought it was really cool. I mean, she's such a phenomenal actress and so funny from the It's Always Sunny fam.

Yeah. Yeah, she was amazing. I didn't get a chance to work with them on this episode. So I don't have any memories. But working with Rob before, it's always great. I felt really grateful that his singing was like an over because there's no way. I think I've talked about this before that my greatest like ick is when people like sing directly. Yeah.

And so sitting at the table and watching him like lock eyes earnestly with Caitlin Olsen and go and sing this. She's a hot.

doing that? I know my Hannah phase would not have been anything other than just sheer discomfort, which comes out as a giggle. So I was very grateful. I remember being like, oh, thank God we're not all sitting together on the couch or something where you would see my face because I would have Moroccan. Hannah don't like singing. Hannah don't like it. I don't like it. No, thank you. Which is why she never hung out with Prince. Yeah.

That was the reason. Couldn't have Prince sing to me. Which is why she never wanted a date with Tyrese. Can you imagine? These are all the reasons. Two, is it ever acceptable to secretly go through someone's phone? Yeah. It's not, but if there's like a real, I think if there's like a real life implicating thing that, you know, you really have to get, you know,

Yeah. I don't believe in secrets. Like, what's the big deal? So if someone's locked their phone and they're like, you can't go through my phone, first of all, you're not in the relationship level that you think you are, is all I'm saying. Like, if you're casually dating and there's no, like...

rules around what you are yet and what you're supposed to do for each other and you haven't had those conversations about boundaries and all that stuff, then no, you do not go through someone's phone. You're a crazy person and you are not at the same place as they are. But if you're in a relationship and here's the thing, if you feel like something's off,

chances are like we said you're gonna find what you're looking for so you could probably leave without even looking yeah you just go you know just go just go save yourself the 90 000 things or try to use the face recognition when they're sleeping or whatever they show on those tv shows yeah yeah just go i'm out it's over what is a focus group the boys would actually be good at participating in

What is the focus group for? I would say something sports related. Cause that's the one thing we all agree that we, every, every person in that loft enjoys sports. Like from time to time we'll be sitting around watching, you know? Oh, you know what it'd be like, you know, like when they did on hockey, um, you know, like they had like the blue line go after the puck so everybody could follow the puck. And like, everybody was just like, Ooh,

doing this is terrible we've watched hockey for a billion like just let us watch the game we know where the puck is we don't need it'd be the same thing in like in basketball if we were just like get this big line a tail a comet tail like that would be great technology in a basketball game and they needed a focus group for it bring in the boys 100 100 because we would have told him immediately nah this ain't it

Clarity. Now, I do enjoy it when they're showing replays. When they're showing, if they're breaking down a play. I see. And they go, so then Ovechkin hits it over here, and then the puck is over here. You can follow the line and trajectory of what happened. And I go, yeah, but in the middle of a game, no, I don't want to see that. I love a slow-mo, and I love a replay done like three times in a row.

I do love those choices. Like, give me a chance to like process, to think about it, to change my mind. Yeah. So I think the guys would be great for something like that. I think so too. Or something like women related because every guy in that loft are masters of women. You know, we know women. Your chest concaved when you said that. Yeah. Overlords. We like the women. I understand women better than anybody. Yeah.

We know women love women. Here's the thing. If you had the boys be the focus group for the sponge ad that plays at the end of the episode, I think they would say we love sponges now. We love sponges so much. All those sponges. Will she sell me those sponges personally? So they would have been a good focus group for the actual ad. Let me take. Oh, I agree. I agree. Well, Hannah, that's it.

That was a great episode. Again, I remembered all the bits. I remember Caitlin Olsen being on the show. I remember Rob Reiner's weird singing that made me uncomfortable. The sponge bit in the bathroom specifically, I remember. And

it's just, I didn't know it was this episode. So it was a delight to rewatch. Very much so. Very much so. Bravo to all those, uh, involved. Um, and Bravo to you fans out there who continue to support us. We love you. We love you so much. Thank you so much for listening. Follow us on IG at the mess around pod. You can, uh,

be a part of this show. You can send in videos, you can send in voice memos, you can send photos. I've been getting some great photos lately at themessaroundpod at gmail.com or you can hit us up on our IG, slide into those DMs and of course rock the merch and tag us in it. Makes us happy. Please. The link is in the bio. Alright y'all, see you next week. Peace.

That was The Mess Around, an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our senior producer is Abu Zafar. Bay Wang provided engineering and editing services. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. Catch you next time. Bye.

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403: Julie Berkman's Older Sister 50:00 Share

The Mess Around with Hannah and Lamorne

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403: Julie Berkman's Older Sister