410: Girl Fight
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I realize male actor friends that I have, including you, are some of the most...

Patient understanding men, when it comes to understanding that girls need a couple seconds sometimes to just like fix themselves. What? Because they have grown up in a world of last looks. They understand that before the camera could roll, give us, even though we just did everything, did the hair, the makeup, the nails, the fit.

Just the walking to just the sitting down in this chair. Some things may have moved. I need a second. Actor male friends are the most patient in those moments because they understand because they've been exposed to it a hundred times a day throughout their lives. It's beautiful. No, you're absolutely correct. We're also we're also just more understanding because we're men. You know what I mean? And that's just like.

Our intelligence and like, you know, our ability to communicate. Your humbleness. Yeah. Humility is like one of the things that's top. That's right up there. The lack of ego. That's right up there. That's right. Lovemaking ability. We're always the best. We're always the best at lovemaking and understanding. Yeah.

Love our understanding. Okay, babe. Babe, babe, babe. Big episode. Huge. Directed by Bill Purple. Written by Danielle Sanchez Witzel. Yes. And it's one of my favorite ones that we did. It's called Girlfriend. Yeah, I love this episode. Love this episode. So much truth in this episode.

The difference between how men and women fight. Episode 410 of New Girl. Break it down. Okay, so in this episode, Schmidt accidentally sparks an all-out girl fight between Jess and Cece after exposing Jess's secret personality.

purchase. Now, meanwhile, Nick goes on his first date with Kai, but Winston is convinced she homeless based on his highly questionable detective work, which conveniently also helps him avoid studying for his police exam. Now, in the middle of all this drama, coach proudly declares his expertise from growing up with sisters. Did I mention he grew up with sisters? Just fight it out and move on. We'll be right back.

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dads even more irresistible to their feline friends. You see, Temptations cat treats are so irresistible. How irresistible are they? They're so irresistible that they make it easy for cat dads to build a lasting bond with their cat and the perfect way to show their love and affection. From athletes to musicians to gamers to scholars to Emmy Award winners and everyone in between, the Temptations brand knows that proud cat dads are living amongst us. And it's time. Oh, it's high time. They got

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Is that Sam Shepard? Sam Shepard Marlboro man smokes cigarettes. Oh yeah. Or the Ford truck man.

Talk like this. He's got cotton balls in his mouth. Do you do a lot of commercial voiceovers or did you back in the day? Or did you always just use your real voice and then... I use my real voice. I was the voice of Jimmy John's sandwiches for a couple of years. Really? Yeah. It's just like a heightened version of my real voice. I do a lot of voiceovers. As far as commercials go, it's usually my regular voice. Right. But I'm saying they could hire you to like...

If you had a catalog, I feel like a lot of voice actors have that, like a catalog of all the different things that they could do. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Great episode. We're so excited to be back from this break so we can dive right into a girl fight. Yeah. I love a girl fight. You love a girl. Some of my favorite websites.

- Girl fight. Okay, so this moment. Okay, so it starts off of course insane. 'Cause Nick comes running in the living room saying he needs to iron his shirt for his date with Tran's granddaughter, AKA the one that only the great Greta Lee. - Greta Lee. - Just tells him to not wear the short sleeve turtleneck. - I gotta find one of those. If y'all got pictures. - I instantly wanted one. I used to have one and it was very cute.

I don't know about on a boy, but it was very cute on me. Yo, shout out to the people with short-sleeved turtlenecks. If you have them, send Hannah those pictures. Send me a picture of a man who's truly owning a short-sleeved turtleneck. I believe it's out there. I believe there's a man who can rock it. It's gotta be. It's gotta be.

But Cece and Jess, they inform him, but they cannot because they are planning Nadia's birthday shower. Yes. Or baby shower. Baby shower. That's right. Baby shower. Birthday of the baby. That's right. The birthday of the baby. Yes. The same Nadia that broke Schmidt's penis. Yes. The Russian model played by the wonderful Rebecca Reed. Yes.

Yeah. So then they go to a flashback. Yeah. They go to a flashback. Winston. He's in his room. He's studying. Because they say to him, you know, go to Winston's room and figure this thing out. Maybe use Winston's desk. He can't.

You flashback Winston's room. He's studying when actually he's just making origami designs for his room. He's basically getting snowflakes. Not enough. I remember doing that. And we shot it so many times because they kept adding, they literally were adding snowflakes to go. Does it look like enough? Not enough. It was a meta moment where in real life, it wasn't enough. And you had to keep saying not enough, not enough, not enough. Then we get to witness a fight between Schmidt and coach over DVR space.

And then he just gets like punched in the junk. And they're like, we good? We good. I mean, that's kind of how men do it, but not really. A punch in the junk? I feel like would escalate things. No, he punched him in the stomach. He punched him in the stomach. Oh, it looked low. And he got a low stomach. Yeah.

Get a low stomach. Put that on your Tinder profile. Get that long torso. Short legs. And then we, and then so, you know, Jess is explaining that this is not what we do. This is not what women do. Yeah, like, we don't even fight. Like, Jess and Cece don't fight and we love that we don't fight and that's, like, so great that we don't fight.

And they're like, we had a moment with the same purse. And this is how we worked it out because we're so healthy in our relationship. And they showed a sweet moment about the purse. And they decided. I remember, by the way, the length of conversation that went around picking which purse. And it was like, not the cutest purse that they chose. Nobody was going to fight over that.

- What are you all at, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, something like that? - Yeah, it was something like that. I was looking at it, I was like, "That's not a cute purse." But they needed something, I think it was the only yellow purse and they wanted something bright.

Right. That was just kind of symbolic going back and forth that you could see. So it was based on color over cuteness, which I thought was a mistake because I feel like these girls had better taste than that first. That's right. Because we don't see color over here. We only see cuteness. And neon yellow purse. So then they decided that both of them weren't going to buy it. And they did a really healthy choice. And that was really, really sweet. And then Schmidt says too much. He talks too much. He just dogs out his friends so hard in that moment. It was not cool. Yeah.

He gave up just so hard. Well, part of me is like, did he do that intentionally? Just because, you know, he loves Cece. I think he's always trying to win favor with Cece and his brain doesn't work right when she's in the room. So I don't even know if it was intentional. He just doesn't know how to not get involved in anything that Cece's involved in because he's just trying to like worm his way in. Yeah. Yeah. And then where are we? Okay. So. Okay.

He says the thing. He doesn't know what he's just done. And coach is just like, whoa, bro, you need to stay out of it. Because girl fights are very dangerous. It's like, how do you know? It's like, I got sisters. Yeah. And then we flash back to young coach. He gives his sister a bow.

causing the other sisters to cut off their own ponytails because they're fighting. What a choice. I mean, and the look on that kid's face. What an actor. What an actor. That was such a... I wonder what he's up to. I got to figure that out because...

I was like, that was a, that was a cool look. He was so cute. You felt like he genuinely has just that child got slightly traumatized in that moment and scared of those. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah.

And then, you know, so Jess, she, yeah, she comes clean. She comes clean to the guys that she went back to the store and she bought the purse. She lost the purse, you know, but she was worried that if she brought up the, if she brings up the purse, then a lot of other stuff will get brought up. Yeah. She says, look, we have a way of how this works out. We have a fight, right? We don't talk for three days.

Then she shows up with a surprise latte and then they never discussed it again. They pretend like it never happened. And this is how it's been going for their entire friendship. They've been friends their entire lives. So she's like, just stay away. That's right. For three days. I've got this. I know how to do this.

Oh, 100%. And now Nick, Nick and Kai. Yeah, they're on their first date. They're bonding. First date. They're sitting down at the bar or the restaurant, having a beer, a Heisler, of course. And shout out to Heisler. You know that Wendy who works on our podcast, last name is Heisler. Heisler, I know. I know she's rich. We got a Heisler on the show, a real one. She's rich from all this beer that we've been drinking on New Girl. Yeah.

And other shows. But no, they're sitting there and they're having a conversation. They're bonding over the fact that they hate first dates. And they hate dates in general. And how terrible and weird they are. And how weird they both are. Nick wants to do this with his hands. He wants to do this with his fingers. And then she wants to do this with her shoulder. It is true. First dates, second dates, third dates. It is all weird. Everybody's putting on a version of themselves. Everyone's trying. There feels like a pressure to like...

You know, it should be about you of like, is this person a good fit for me? But you're also like, want to make sure that they like you. So you're putting on this weird face and then it feels awkward. And it's so strange. And so they kind of just talk that all out. And she's just like, I kind of just want to do nothing, but like nothing's that sexy. But she has met her match in the doing of nothingness. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Let's talk about it for a second. Yeah. I might.

I might be able to appreciate a person like that. I mean, it wouldn't hurt that she was gruddly. I think it helps that it's gruddly. It helps. It helps. But it's like, I like to do nothing sometimes. And when I'm in a relationship with a woman and I've, and I've dated like a couple of women that are just get up and go. Just do it. Every morning, every morning they're, they are 7am. They're done with their hike.

They're done already. They're at the gym. They're getting their, they're on their, their, you know, their work. They're at the dates with their friends. They're bouncing around. They want to just stay active. And there, there are days where I feel like that, but most of the time, because we work so much and we got so much responsibility with, you know, family and stuff like that. Sometimes I just want to sit down at home and be okay with it. So somebody like her, man, that would be great. So for all those lazy women out there,

You know, call me. Yeah. Let's lay up together. You need a lazy woman. I need a lazy woman. Someone who's going to sit there and hang out at the house and be cozy and comfy. She can go to work. She can go to work, you know, do whatever she want to do. Yeah, but a hike done by 7 a.m., that's a hard pass. That's crazy. Sleep in. Wake up at noon. I don't care. Like, you know, damn. Yeah. I want to be able to wait. I want to say I woke up before you. Also, if she dates you, she doesn't really need to go to work if she doesn't want to.

That's fair. But, you know, that's fair. I'm, you know, I'm sugar daddying out here. The GMs just all got lit up like, hello? Hey, listen, listen, ladies, I take care of you now. Come on now. Come on now. Come on now. We're back to this. We're back to how this podcast has become me trying to find you.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't mind. Come on now, ladies. Sorry. So Nick and Kai, they order pizza. They drink beer on the couch. They're watching a movie. And then they cut to three days later. They have not moved. They've not moved. And so Winston's spidey senses, they go off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He comes. He's doing detective work, right? He's in there writing his notepad. And Coach is wondering why he isn't studying.

And then Winston gets on this weird little CSI thing where he's putting stuff together and then he punches Winston in the dick. That's right. Mini fight. Yeah. And they get in his oven. It's done. Done. It was done. Now, Jess, she runs into Cece at the coffee shop and she's like, hey. Because she's got her plan. It's three days later. She got the surprise latte. She sees Cece. She's like, boom. Cece says, I can buy my own.

And she flashes the purse. That's terrible. Now, initially, I thought she went and bought her own. She found it and got it. That was my first thought, too. I forgot what happens in the episode. And then Jess walks in on Schmidt and was like, what? And then they show the flash of what Cece did. She wore a very low cut top and said, go get the purse. And get the purse.

I never understood why men were so weak in these moments because it doesn't phase me. It doesn't phase me. It doesn't. Men are weak. You know what I mean? And I'm different from the rest of them, ladies. I'll pay your light bill. Okay.

What's happening in this episode? The complete underestimation of women. Okay. Poor Kai is like reading the newspaper because she's a smart woman and falls asleep. And Nick is so dumb that the bug put in his ear about the fact that she's might be homeless. That's all he sees now.

Yeah, that's what I mean. But that's what Winston, that's the conclusion he's come to because it does make sense. It does make sense. You know what I mean? I love the fact that he asked him to sit down. I love the fact that he was like, you might want to sit down for this. He's like, I've cracked the case.

We have to talk about this moment because we skipped it. And it's so funny to me is the emoji war that happened between Jess and Cece because it ends with double syringe. And I would say on about 80% of all of Zoe's posts, I just post double syringe. Really? I do. It's like our inside joke. I never knew that. Yeah. In real life, it's our inside joke. I think it's funny. She gets it. And of course, the whole new girl little universe of these girl fight lovers get it.

Oh, wow. I never...

I never paid attention to that. But that's cool. You're not going through Zoe's comments on her post? What did Hannah do today? Let's see. Double syringe. Yeah, folks, start double syringing us. You know, let us know you're listening. This is how you let us know you're listening. Double syringe it. How many double syringes are we going to get underneath this clip? Double syringe. That's right. I like how that's just like the max amount.

offensive thing you could possibly send is the double syringe. That's right. But we won't take it as an offense if you all did it to us. Do it to us, guys. Double syringes. And so, yeah, so then we were in that moment where he says, you got to sit down. And he says that Nick is the sugar daddy, which to call Nick Miller anyone's sugar daddy is...

Who, as we saw in the last episode, doesn't even have 20 bucks. It's wild. That's wild. That's crazy. Then he sees the newspapers and he's like, man, it must be true. Fully confirmed. Okay, let's talk about that for a second. This woman fell asleep with newspapers. And then he said, oh, it's actually not bad. And she says, see?

Why would she say that? That means she does this all the time? She falls asleep on her newspapers all the time? No. I'm going to say this. I will say this. Okay. I remember because someone made a comment when they came over to my apartment once, my old apartment, which you went to a million times. But I always got the newspaper and I would always read it in bed. And then so I always had newspapers like all over my bed. So I feel like women who like to read the newspaper and who are like,

Also, I'm very much like Kai, who just wants to hang out and be cozy on a couch or whatever at home all the time. You might fall asleep under some newspapers. That's interesting. That's an interesting way to look at it, Hannah. Yeah. I think you're incorrect. I think you're... You're incorrect about your life and your newspaper situation. Hannah, I think you were homeless. No.

Unhoused. Unhoused Hannah. It's kind of like a nice lightweight blanket. Don't hate on it. We're going to go to break. Yeah, let's go to break. We're going to have this boy girl fight continue.

The Temptations brand, America's number one cat treat brand, is on a mission to show the world just how irresistible cat dads truly are and make 2025 the year of the cat dad. And let me tell you something, it's about damn time. Being a cat dad is a huge green flag. Cat dads are some of the most tempting,

caring, and compassionate men of all. You know, two out of three Gen Z adults believe that cat dads make better bows, too. The Temptations brand knows there is nothing like the bond between a cat dad and their cat, and the brand's variety of irresistible treats make cat

dads even more irresistible to their feline friends. You see, Temptations cat treats are so irresistible. How irresistible are they? They're so irresistible that they make it easy for cat dads to build a lasting bond with their cat and the perfect way to show their love and affection. From athletes to musicians to gamers to scholars to Emmy Award winners and everyone in between, the Temptations brand knows that proud cat dads are living amongst us. And it's time. Oh, it's high time. They got

their moment in the spotlight. Cat dads yearn for a long-lasting bond with their cat, and irresistible temptation treats are key to helping foster and keep that. You see, our treats make cat dads irresistible to their feline companions.

Cats lose their cool. Treat a cat in your life to Temptations Treats and discover what makes cat dads irresistible at TemptationsTreats.com. What's my favorite feature of Shipt? Preferred shoppers. I've ordered groceries before, and oftentimes what arrives at the door is not what I put in the cart. But with Shipt, when you find a good shopper, you can save them to your preferred shoppers list, so you can get exactly what you ordered from a shopper you trust. Another perk...

$0 delivery fee on orders over $35. And with a Target Circle 360 membership, you can get same-day delivery with no price markups at Target and lots of other local stores. Only a few alcohol retailers and some items are excluded. Exclusive member-only discounts and sales.

5% off Target orders if you have a Target Circle MasterCard and preferred shoppers. What's not to love about Shipt? You can order now at Shipt.com slash 360. That's Shipt.com slash 360. Terms apply.

All in the app. Download today.

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That's ChumbaCasino.com. No purchase necessary. VGW group void where prohibited by law. 21 plus terms and conditions apply. And we are back. And we are straight into Nadia's baby shower. Oh, yeah. Oh, where she says two of the most iconic things ever. She's going to name her baby Baby because it's funny. And then she says, where's the top of the baby cage? The baby cage. That's amazing. You know, they make them actually for cribs. You can put a top on it.

Oh, yeah. I considered your baby crawling out like they're at that age where they could crawl out of the crib. Well, there's a mesh net you can like wrap. It's like a little dome that you can put on it so you can still see through it. And it's mesh, but they can't climb out. That's right. Because Lily, oh, my gosh, the video footage I have of her baby cam.

When she started realizing she had muscles and she would pull herself up and just fling herself out of her crib. Sure. I was like, oh my God. I mean, gnarly videos. Yeah, they're great. Well, babies are all kind of like Pepper from the Bangsgiving episode. They're crazy strong. Like ants. Yeah. And also like their center of gravity is so low, so they're not scared of falling.

I remember one time Lily did get scared. She pulled herself up. This is the first time this happened. She pulled herself up. She put one leg over and just started screaming. She looked down and she was like, ah, and she couldn't move. She was like stuck. And so I come flying in the room and I see her and I just burst into laughter. I was like, ah, ah, ah.

I gotta go pick her up. And I'm like, where are you trying to go? And so... She's like, I'm on the top of the Empire State Building. Do you not see how high this is? Save me. King Kong. I had to raise it. I had to get one that was even higher. Yeah.

Like they'll have to add cool things to get out. You're like, I need a top to this baby cage. I was like, my gosh. And the funniest is when you walk in and she wants to get out and she's holding onto the bars like a prisoner. Yeah. And her face is leaning up against it. She's looking at you. It is. It is a baby cage. She's not wrong. It is. It's a cage. Put a cage on these babies because you don't want them walking around with all these outlets and ovens. Come on now. We don't live in these houses that are safe for babies. No. So at this baby shower, Schmidt is there because of course he is.

And coach, he calls coach and coach is like, what are you doing? Get out of there immediately. And he's like, I can't. It's bad. They're just staring at each other. Jess and Cece are just staring at each other. And there's like seething happening. What do I do? And then coach says, I can help end this.

He runs out. Then we reveal that he has saran wrapped Winston to a chair, forcing him to study. And then Winston brings up a very valid point. How am I going to study? I can't move the pages. Also the tippy toe thing you do to move the chair. I'm doing it now. It's the only way to move the chair, because if you do too big of like a swoop with your foot, you might go flying and you have no arms. You got to go. You got to go slow.

That's right. Now, you know, on some Superman type stuff, Winston could have probably broke out of it. Knowing me back then, I was probably more strong than I am now. But anyway. That would have been very cute to see the pushing against your saran wrap. Also, so many people live in that apartment. Can somebody just unwrap you?

No, they're all idiots. Now, Nick is telling, he's telling Kai he wants to go to her place. You know, he's a man of the people, regardless of this rock star lifestyle that he has. You know, he's telling her that he wants to be with her wherever she lives. He's basically implying that he's, and in a lot of words, he's saying that he's her sugar daddy. And he says it. It's like, I just feel like.

You know, you see all this stuff that I have. It's like I got an extra pillowcase. Where he basically says that most of it actually isn't his anyway. It is the funny, that's my Frisbee I'm storing on my neighbor's roof. What are you talking about? It's so painful to watch him brag, but it's also so sweet that he's obviously also sharing that he really does just like her for her. Yeah.

And he doesn't care. And he's like, I'll bring some extra blankets. And then he grabs the newspaper. He's so insulting. Because he wants to go to her house. And so she agrees. And he just assumes. Because wherever he's like, well, where does Tran live? He's like, well, I always see him on a park bench. The math was mathing. Yes, it was. Now we're mid-fight. Cece's telling Jess. She was just defending her when she told Mike Hanneman

That she was on her period. They're screaming, they're crying. 20 years of repressed anger has now been unleashed thanks to Schmidt messing with the system. And so it's

Everything's coming out. All the things they haven't said and talked through and worked through and healed and repaired from is now on the table. And it gets crazy. Yes. So crazy that coach says, listen. Yes. In order to resolve this, guys, y'all have to fight it out.

Just punch, punch, punch and get it over with. And instead of punching CeCe, I mean, I don't know where this came from, but CeCe just speared her just WWE boom. I was shocked when I saw that, to be quite honest. Yeah. The I remember. So all of those women that are playing in the baby shower are all stunt women.

So there's Jess and myself, Nadia, and then everybody else was a stunt woman. And so that fight that you see is done by professionals. Yes. Just fully body slamming each other, throwing each other around. It was so crazy. And then when we did like the breast pump thing.

attack on my eyes. I remember like the choreography of it. Also making sure they didn't like actually slam me in the eyes and hurt me. There was actually so much stuff you have to do to have a fight in a scene to make sure nobody gets hurt.

And even though this one seems so ridiculous, there were so many ways people could get hurt. Cause also high heels folks just flying around the room. I know, I know, but I mean, I know what it takes as, as an action star. Um,

I've done it millions of times, but it was good to see that you got a chance to experience what I've been experiencing my whole career. High action, high octane scenes. Now, fight's over. They destroyed the place. Nadia is loving it. She's so happy. The thing where she's like, I'm not bored. I'm bored. I'm not bored anymore. I'm bored. The violence is making her so happy.

She's stomping on the baby gifts. Her baby gifts. Yes, she is.

She's so funny. She's one of the funniest characters we've had on our show. And she created that. That's the thing that is so phenomenal about the Nadia character. No one else could have done it like that. Like the casting on this show and the freedom they gave people to build the weirdness, again, like Outside Dave, is so beautiful and adds all of those, like the world of New Girl gets just so rich because of it and kept bringing people back. Nadia crushes this episode. Oh, yeah.

Oh, 100%. 100%. Where are we now? Oh, we're at the hospital. We're at the hospital. And they feel better. There is a relief in letting it all out. Better out than in. Yes. Yes. 100%. And, you know, they're coming clean about, you know, wanting to have punched each other for a long time. They've known each other for 20 years. They talk it out, blah, blah, blah. But this, the fight, the fight was very much so worth it. Now, Nick calls Winston.

When he's inside of her very, very, very expensive looking place. Yes. Couldn't tell if it was like a mansion or an apartment, but either way, she got money. Yeah. She's very...

- Very, very rich. And he explains to her that, you know, hey, she's rich, man. She founded and sold a company that sells water bottles. It's a scam called consulting. And Winston tries to save face. He's like, see, I knew it. He's like, no, you're very wrong. He's like, no, but I knew there would be a twist. - There's something about her. I figured that out. Which by the way, also fair, kind of fair to Winston. He could smell something.

I mean, it was the exact opposite of what his detective skills told him it was. Yeah. He'd locked the wrong person up. He probably put the wrong person in jail, but he's locked. It was the mother. No, it was the father. Yeah. That's what I meant. It was the father. Nothing more terrifying than Winston as a cop. Yeah. Uh,

um yes so kai so nick so sitting down on the couch and nick is saying hey listen i gotta get back i gotta get back to work you know this is my uh it's what do you say it's karaoke night i gotta get there early i have to get there early to break the karaoke machine she is so funny this is what i'm talking about new girl man the tiniest lines so funny because so true

Yes, 100%. If I were working at a bar, I'd break that shit too. I don't want to hear people singing. She said, well, how much are you going to make tonight? It's like 140 bucks. She gives him $200 and he's like, I'm a boy hooker. Listen, I don't know if I'd be down to accept that money.

But I would love the gesture. Right. That's very sweet to be like, I'll figure this out. I'll tell you a quick story. I know we got to go. But I remember being on a date. I was with an ex of mine. And this other woman walks by and she grabs my hand. And I was like, oh, and then she then we see her again because this woman was rough.

She was like, she grabbed my hand. I was like, oh, and she comes back and she's like standing next to us while we're standing. It was like a, like a concert type of thing. And she goes, I give you 10, please forgive what I'm about to say, but this is what she said to me. She goes, I give you $10,000 right now. Here's her. I was like, what did she say? I said, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We slowly walked away.

I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. And I never let that down. I never let that down. I always remind me, I remember that time that I was propositioned by that thug.

I would like to say that you probably would have lost if you had taken her up on that. She wanted to take it home and put it in a jar. Yeah, I don't know what she had plans for. I don't know, but I don't think it was going to be a pleasant experience for you. Yeah. Let's see. Cut the 10K...

Why? It's so true. Like it happens all the girls get propositioned all the time with people coming up, offering you money for doing wild things. Oh, my gosh. I have so many stories very similar to that where you go like, what did you just say? Yeah. It's obvious. No, because you're terrifying. And I feel like women and hot guys are used to that. Women and hot guys are used to that. I got to say, that's probably like what.

y'all experience all the time. Me, that was the one and only time. And she was very scary. I was like, what? Well, I couldn't have been Tyra Banks. If that was Tyra Banks, I'd be like, got to get this money.

All right. So Coach apologizes for making the girls punch each other. Jess and Cece then play out what a girl fight between girl Coach and girl Schmidt would sound like. It's beyond accurate. It's causing the boys to laugh it off. And then in the elevator, Coach and Schmidt start complimenting each other. Uh-oh. And Winnie can smell what's happening, and so he does the only thing he can. He punches them both in the testicles. This is...

That's right. And and then we end on a montage of Winston procrastinating. Here's what I love most about this. And I need to clip these moments. If there's if there's a way we can clip these moments and tag these references, you know, when you balled up paper and you throw it in the trash, you always yell out Kobe or Jordan. Sure. You know, I was yelling out.

Like, oh, gee, Chicago Bulls or Chicago legends. So the first time you see me do it, I say Craig Hodges. Shout out. If you know, you know, shout out to Craig Hodges. And then at one point I go, Darius Miles.

If you know, you know, shout out to Darius Miles, basketball icons, man. And and then I say Jordan, but everybody, you know, whatever. But I would I want to go on the record to say I'm keeping the name of Craig Hodges, Darius Miles alive. Darius Miles has got a great podcast, but I'm keeping the names alive. It's a nice thing in the show when we would be able to sneak things in.

that like mattered to us like that. It happened. I think for all of us a little bit, there'd be little things that we would just like pepper in and then it would make the cut and make the show. And now it just like lives out there forever. And it was very cool. All right. Darius and Craig. Craig Hodges, Darius Miles. That's the episode. We got through it without having too many fights. So that's pretty good for us. When we come back, we go and miss our rounds.

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We'll be right back.

Download today. There's only one place where go-go beats post through the streets, where you can visit the only national museum dedicated exclusively to African-American life, history and culture. There's only one D.C. Visit Washington dot org to plan your trip. And we're back. Hannah, I just realized it's time to mess around. Let's go. OK, so what's the worst girl fight you've gotten into or witnessed? What was it about?

Um, well, I'll say something about fights first. I've never seen a fight, a physical fight. I've never seen a physical fight. And so I was always just like, so curious. Like, is it real? Does it really happen? Like, would someone ever actually like really like strike somebody else? And this is like a real thing when I was younger. I just thought it was crazy. And then when I was 17, I moved from India to a place called White Rock.

appropriately named, in Canada. And I remember turning the TV on and the first thing that came on was Jerry Springer. Ooh. And I remember just being like, what? What?

And you know, like they had the, oh, what was his name? The, like the bouncer. Steve. Steve. Steve Wilco. Steve Wilco. And Steve would just like, with like, he was so bored. Like he was so unfazed. And he would just like, just pause.

people off of each other just separate the fights and I just remember being mesmerized and then I like watched at the time it was called WWF now it's WWE but I would watch it because I was just like so fascinated by like the fact that somebody would ever do it because girl fights are very much like you see in this episode very passive aggressive very

Like you're not going to say it to their face. You're going to find some way behind their back to like make them feel how upset you are, but you're never going to talk about it. And you're probably going to be friends forever and it's never going to come up because now it's so far gone. So it's an accurate representation of a girl fight. But I remember being fascinated by like, what does an actual physical fight look like? Oh, I've seen them in person. Oh my gosh. I've seen, I've seen,

Like I said, I grew up on the south side of Chicago. People were angry. People were just mad. I've seen some girl fights that are crazy. I'm talking brawls in the park. The girls are fighting. And the girls are just, they go crazy because they pull hair, they scratch. With dudes, it's kind of like they're trying to look cool. You know, they're trying to like get precision punches in.

I feel like boy fights would be a lot more like grappling, just like holding. Well, yeah, sometimes. And just hoping that nobody can get an arm out. It depends on their skill level. Sometimes they do that. Like if they're like, you know, trying to like more. Some people are trying to stop the fight while they're in the fight. They're trying to just wrestle you to the ground and just sit on you and just kind of. Jiu-Jitsu style. Just I'm going to grapple you down and then I'm just going to like get on top and mount and hold your arms down and be like, enough.

The women, the women fights are bloodier. I feel like I've seen like people scratching people's eyes out and like ripping like earrings out hair. So many weaves. Oh, so many weaves and wigs just all over the city. I swear to God. It would hurt so bad if someone snatched your hair out. Oh my God. Just weave and wig all over the city. It's so, it's so wild. Yeah. And then there's always a boob that pops up. There's always one memory. I mean, in New Girl, we had a boob fight.

Yes. Just slapping boobs. Slapping boobs. That was a real New Girls storyline. I will say I saw one fight and it was Coachella. I was staying at a hotel in Palm Springs. And then I came down to the hotel lobby. And all of a sudden, you know, you can just hear something that doesn't sound right. And I look. And the lobby that had been packed with people, everybody was against the walls. Yeah.

And this guy was picking up, there was like a DJ in the lobby, picking up the equipment from the DJ and hurling it at this other guy in the middle of the fight. It was so, it wasn't fancy hotel. It was the craziest thing. And everybody was against the wall, like doing the right thing. And I was like, so like, Oh my God.

It was like I'd seen like an elephant walking down the street. It was just sort of like a fascination because I'd just never seen anything like it. And I remember the group I was with at the time, they're like, let's get out of here. Like we have to leave. We've got to remove ourselves, Hannah. That's wild. It was really crazy. Like this poor DJ who had nothing to do with the fight, like lost all of his hair. Yeah.

Okay, let's do one more. I'll let you pick. Oh, back in your days as a student, were you a big procrastinator like Winston when it came to studying? Yes. Yeah, I'm still like that. Me too. I'm like, before a meeting sometimes, I'll have a meeting about a project and the meeting is on a Friday. I'm reading that script probably like two hours before the meeting.

Yeah, but the thing is, if you've spent your whole life being a quote unquote procrastinator, right? Don't you think that your brain works better that way? Because I'm the same. If I read a script like a week before...

There's so much life that happens in between. It won't be top of mind. And so for me, because I've always been that way through school, through everything, through work, because I've always done something like right at the last second, that's now how I perform best with that information and material.

Personally. So it looks like everybody else gets crazy because they're like, it's down to the wire, Hannah. And I'm like, yeah, but like, I'm not stressed because this is how I work best. So like, yeah, you stress me out. I'm not stressed. But your energy is stressing me out because I work differently than you. Yeah, no, I agree. I agree. Redemption for the procrastinators. I see you. You figured out your way. Your system, Lamorne and I are here for you.

There was a study that said people who are procrastinators are smarter than everybody else. Yeah. That study that you and I did last year, it just came out. That's a real study. Real study. Uh, wall street journal, uh, quote me on that. Uh, real study from Joe Rogan's podcast. Um,

I love how now, just in America now, if you say something with a lot of confidence quickly and be like, no questions, please, and move on, most people will be like, I heard it on a podcast. Yeah, 100%. Could be true. It could be true. Could be true, you guys. It could be true. But we're living proof that it doesn't hurt to be a procrastinator. We're doing all right in life. We figured it out. And we're still procrastinating. Still procrastinating. So you know what, Winston, man?

your thing he was fine in the episode he's doing it his way we also know how it ends up yeah that's what i'm saying we also know it all worked out yeah world-class detective world-class detective okay that's it yes that's the episode girl fight girl fight we love a girl fight love a girl fight we don't have enough girl fights gotta have more we're looking deeply into more girl fights sounds so presidential

Love a girl fight. Girl on girl. That's my favorite thing. Okay. All right. This part we need to beep out now. Oh my gosh. Telling stories on this podcast. Okay, y'all. We're just going through season four. I can't believe how much of season four. I didn't realize it happened in season four, I guess. I remember girl fight. Season four is a great season. Yeah.

Really great. And it's a huge thing to have Damon. I realized every single time Damon's on screen and that I watched the rest of us, you always see like our real laughs and giggles and breaks happening. It was such a fun year to shoot and have Damon part of the cast again. Yeah, it's the it's it's when you have someone like that on set, it makes it's so much easier.

It's so much easier. It is. There's low stakes. He's just there to have fun and be loose. That's right. He's not a... Even when he'd walk on set, he just got to be like, all right, guys, what do we do? Yeah. He's just there to hang out with his friends. Yeah. And he's one of the best writers. And so he will toss you jokes. Yeah, always. He'll say, it'd be funny if you said this. And you'll say it and it gets a laugh and you're like...

That's great. That's awesome to have an unselfish... You will also, if you toss him a joke, he'll always try it. And because he's so talented, he'll always kill it. He'll make it. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because you could toss him a lazy joke and he's going to crush it. That's right.

Yeah. Oh, Damon. We love you. We love you. Yes. And we love all you folks out there. Please make sure, make sure you follow us on IG at the mess around pod. Go get some merch. Go get some, go get one of these. Yes. Get some merch. You know. Tag us and then we will repost you. Ooh, a jingle. That's right. The mess around jingle. Jingle, jingle. Bye.

All right. Thanks for listening. We will be back again next week as per usual. Love you. Love you. Love you. Peace. That was The Mess Around, an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our senior producer is Abu Zafar. Bay Wang provided engineering and editing services. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson.

Catch you next time. Bye. The Temptations brand, America's number one cat treat brand, is on a mission to show the world just how irresistible cat dads truly are and make 2025 the year of the cat dad. Being a cat dad is a huge green flag. Cat dads are some of the most tempting, caring, and compassionate men of all. And dare I say, of all time. Two out of three Gen Z adults believe that cat dads make better bows, too.

The Temptations brand knows there's nothing like the bond between a cat dad and their cat. And the brand's variety of irresistible treats make cat dads even more irresistible to their feline friends. Trust me, I would know. I got a lot of feline friends. Cats lose their cool. Treat a cat in your life to Temptations treats and discover what makes cat dads irresistible at TemptationsTreats.com.

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