#108 Animal Attacks
01:52:35 Share

Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nateland podcast. Let's go, folks. Welcome, everybody. Thanks for coming to this podcast. What is that? It's just a funny way to say it. Thanks for showing up. Hey, thanks for being here. It's crazy that you guys are here. I think every time. Yeah, we're glad you're here. We pre-recorded this one.

I like to let people know that. I know. I love it how we always change clothes and then we immediately just tell people. Yeah. We did this one right after the last one. I do like to, but they don't hear that. It's so like when you look at it, I think it doesn't look right. It's the same. Well, there are good special white hat episode. Yeah. It is a white hat episode. Wow.

There's a slight chance that something so crazy happens between that it would have been silly for us not to talk about. Yeah. So I feel like it is good to say. Yeah. We prerecorded this. Yeah. Aaron's foot got cut off because of Gal. Like, how do they not? I just don't understand how they did. I mean, they call him Gal. It's a whole thing. It's a running theme. I don't know why. It's worth mentioning. Yeah. Dusty's in prison for, you know, the conspiracy stuff. Yeah.

He's got a no fake moon shirt on. I mean, I don't know how they, it was all over the news. How did they not bring it up? I mean, yeah. So, well, here we are. But this is live at this moment. So, start off with you guys' comments. Paul D. I think hay bear should be the response to hello folks. I like that. Yeah, that's fun. You know, the last podcast, I started with hay bear. I love a nice hay bear. Hay bear.

A lady that gave me candy wrote a note and it said, Hey bear. Yeah. To me. I like Hey bear. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Could be good. It's hello folks. I mean like when it's, uh, yeah, it's like, Hey bear. So, you know, cause I do hello folks and I do let's go folks when we start the podcast. Yeah. Maybe let's go bears. Yeah. Uh, Jay color. Uh, Hey bear. Yeah. Hey bear just got to pop in whenever. Yeah. Hey bear. It feels like it's one that,

it pops in we were doing it on the trip and they're they're very funny to pop in hey bear yeah they just throw in a nice hay bear out of nowhere yeah you know and if you're hiking and you do a hay bear and someone gives you a hello folks back yeah then you know what's happening that's yeah you know what's going on yeah hello folks yeah hey bear hey that is a pretty even let's go for like it is funny someone goes hello folks hey bear

And then see. Yeah, yeah. Because then people will be very confused on that. That could be, it could, y'all can, you know, I like it. I like the, you know, I like the less, I like people, you know, I'll talk to Harper and we were talking about hello folks and let's go folks. And we said, what, I was like, what are you? And she said, she thinks she's more let's go folks. But I like that there is a hello folks and let's go. Like there is a, it is like, you know, I met someone recently

And Paso. And they were fewer hello folks and ones like, I'm a let's go. And it is like, you kind of get who the person is. Yeah. And I do like that. But I do like Hey Bear. Hey Bear. All right. Throw it in. Mix it in. We're mixing in. Kelly Haynes Dolan. Hello, folks. I'm watching the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship in Lake Tahoe and wondering where's Nate? If Larry the Cable Guy is out there playing, it's about time for Nate to show them what's what. What?

Yeah, I've never talked to anybody out there in that thing. I think it's hard to get on those. I mean, people get on them. And you're playing a tournament on TV. It's your dream.

Did you see any of it? I saw some highlights. I forgot his real name. Carlton from Fresh Prince won the closest to the pin contest. And he said this was his 14th year playing in this tournament. Yeah, Alfonso. Alfonso Rivera? Yeah, Rivera. Yeah, Rivera. Yeah, so these people, they're not giving these spots up. You don't go do it and then they go, all right, I'm good.

Right, especially, you know, I mean, I love the Carlton character, but you don't see him in a ton of things. So it's like, he's like, nah, I'm going to keep doing this. Well, but he, and he's the one that you, he actually puts on a show out there. You always see highlight to him. He's always doing like his day. So like, I understand him. He's kind of made his worth out there. And the fact that like, there's, there's reasons, obviously you got like, you know,

Patrick Mahomes or Steph Curry. You got people that are super famous. And then you got like that Wagner guy and he's,

Was like a soap guy, I think. But he's like a ridiculous golfer. And so it's like a mix of... How's Larry the Cable Guy at golf? I've golfed with him. He played great today. I think he's got 79 today. I played with him. Oh, wow. So pretty good. But he's not a bad golfer. He was putting lights out. What's a great golf score?

I have no idea. 72 is even par. Very hard to do to shoot an even par round. For a regular person...

I mean, 79 is crazy. Like to be in the 70s and 80s. Breaking 100 is usually the... It's a big milestone to break 100. If you can play with someone and they can break 100, I think that's usually like... By break 100, you mean below 100? Yeah. Okay. And then so if someone is like, I can break 100, you're like, all right. You know that they play.

Okay. And like, it's not going to be a bad day versus if someone can't break a hundred, it's like, it's probably gonna be a pretty long day. Yeah. When I took lessons, that was just my goal to get to where I could break a hundred. What is the, what would you say the worst game you've ever had was? The golf game? Yeah. I mean, you know, I've shot like, yeah.

Well above 100. Yeah, you just stop keeping score. Yeah, you're just picking the ball up. That's where I'm at. You're just moving on. Okay. Yeah, a lot of that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I don't know anything about golf. Really? So when you say he shot a 79, I'm like. Yeah. Hey, can you turn the air down a little bit? Yeah, all right. Well, Jason Wirth played in it, and every time I see him putt, I thought it was dusty.

Because he's got the long hair and he was wearing a hat, kind of like what you wear. And I thought, I think that's Dusty out there. That's a cousin of mine. I have a Dude Perfect hat on. I went and saw Dude Perfect. Not him, but we took Harper and her friend to see Dude Perfect. Very fun.

Yeah. They put on a ringer show. What do they do in the show? They do a lot of... I mean, they have this thing they do. It's like they all five compete. And then it's like you have one winner. And so they do... There's like five events, I guess. And so then whoever gets knocked out, like one person gets knocked out. And then at the end of it, you have...

a winner. Oh, that's cool. So they have that in the mix of that is like showing, they show some clips, they show, they do some like funny interview things. There's some characters that they do that they, people like, and they do some of those, but it was very entertaining. A lot of kids there, a lot of like very. Crowd participation and stuff too. Yeah. Yeah. The broad kids. Yeah. It's super funny. A lot of cheering, a lot of like, you know, you're saying you want to win. It was very fun to go, you know, with Harper and her friend and,

just to, you know, like watch them and stuff like that. It was, it was very cool. At Bridgestone? Yeah. They're like the modern version of the Globetrotters. That's what I said. It's like, that's how I would pitch them is going, it's the new Globetrotters. And, uh, Was that the guys that like do a lot of trick shots and they throw watermelons off a building and try to land into a basketball? Yeah. Stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, just super fun stuff. Like a bowling ball off a building onto a trampoline. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. It was awesome. Yeah. It was, uh,

They were very cool. I really did like them. There's a very funny video of Aaron from a few years ago reenacting Dude Perfect where he can't hit the shot. It was an old John Chris sketch video. It's very funny. Parodying the Dude Perfect guys. He goes, come on, I remember that. I do remember that. Oh, really? I did see it. Yeah, you guys were like... The joke was I couldn't make the shot at the end, which was actually...

That happened when we were filming it. I was trying to make it. And then when I needed to make it for the video, it took a while. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Oh, because you eventually did have to make it. Yeah, when I had to make it eventually. When I was trying to miss it, I kept making it. It was a long video. It was a long video. It was three minutes. You're like, I get what's going on here. Yeah. It goes eventually. So I'm dressed as an old guy. And you're like, what? How long is this video going to be? We brought in...

Some other stuff. Makeup artist. Scott Sowers. Sowers. Scott Sowers. Sowers. Sowers. That's much happier now. It is happier. Seems like he's growing things. Yeah. Scott Sowers is like, oh, yeah. We got to go eat at the Sowers tonight. They're like...

Oh, no. Right when they open the door, they go, hello. Hi. Hi. And you're like, did you not get food? I forgot it was tonight, but we're starting cooking now. They start cooking then. Yeah. That's like the office. Yeah.

How much editing is done on the pods? I'm somewhere between. There's no way they put that much effort into it because the strategy tracks for Nateland. And also maybe they do trim and edit a bit because these guys are professionals. Would love to know how much is cut out. Thanks, Nate, Aaron, Dusty, and Barbados for doing great work. None of it's cut out. No, it's all straight up.

Did you leave there? We're leaving there. I just asked the air. You cut that out. Would you have cut that out? Me asking to turn the air conditioner on? Yeah. Yeah. So that was, yeah, that was real stuff.

I don't have an air conditioner, but besides that. He just throws things in. It just sounds good. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know. I can't fix it. Buttons three. Don't think Nate has mentioned this, but rumor from another comic is that Nate may be in Seinfeld's movie called Unfrosted on Netflix. I am not in that movie. It's not true, but I did talk to Seinfeld.

All right. Here it is. Big time. Who predicted this? It's one of Bates' big predictions. It was very crazy. I talked to Seinfeld, FaceTimed, and it was surreal. It was not super long. It was quick. I have his phone number. I was very excited about that. Can I have it? Yeah. I'll give it to you. I'll post it. Yeah, it was crazy. I mean, just seeing him, it's unreal to see.

Like, you're just looking at him and you're like, it's you, dude. It's you. That's amazing. And he was, yeah, he was very complimentary, very nice and something. And the thing I did say, I was like, well, I won't bore you what, I said, I was like, I won't overwhelm you with like what you've meant to my career. I did that, but I don't wear short sleeves on stage because of you. Like, that's all. And he like laughed at that. It's like, that's how much this dude's like, I'm not wearing short sleeves on stage because you said that.

It looked weird. Yeah. In a commentary on your DVD. Not even, not even like that's what he lives by. Right. It's just like an all, and I, he might even wear shorts. It might be such a side comment that he doesn't even remember it. And you're like, and I don't. It changed your life. It changed everything. Yeah. So yeah, I did talk. It was crazy. It's very cool. Loved it. It's amazing. I would not be in that movie, but it's, uh, yeah. What were your other predictions, Brian? Um,

It was the Leanne Morgan episode. It was the last one of last year. I said she would put out a special. You would do a late night set. How's that coming? Working on it. And that you would meet Seinfeld and become friends with him and play Augusta. No predictions for me, huh? None for Dustin. You weren't on the pod yet. You weren't on the pod yet. We never saw that coming. Okay. Yeah, did not predict that. Yeah.

So one down. One down. All right. One down. Yeah, it's crazy. And it's absolutely insane. This happened a little bit ago. I haven't really said anything about it when I talked to him. But yeah, I'm very excited. I didn't tell it right when it happened. I don't know if people think it should be more...

you know, if it doesn't feel like I'm excited, I was very, yeah. I wish you would call me. Yes. It is exciting. But yeah, I mean, it would be weird if you were like jumping up and down or something in here, you know? Yeah. We mentioned him every podcast, but yeah, but I mean, it was, it was, it was pure insanity and it was like, just felt, it was like something that it was, you know, you were like, Holly, it's like all the little things that you check off that you want to do. Like when you start, you know, like meeting him was like,

just always there and then it's weird that it's you know you're like all right i never hung out i met him facetime i've met him what's the line from comedian where he says you'd never think life is going to be long enough that we'd actually meet each other yeah that's it that's it yeah that's pretty crazy the mark norman episode from like a year ago we talked about that and he was like ah he knows he are and you were like talking to the camera like jerry if you're watching yeah now you're friends yeah

yeah yeah you never it's uh yeah i'd like to hang out with him and like i like to like really get to talk comedy with him i think that i would really enjoy that but it's uh it it was still it was crazy crazy crazy uh brandy harbert hello folks does aaron use the word y'all in real life sometimes it sounds like he is throwing it in just to fit in it sounds forced i

I guess I imagine that his family dinner conversations used to include a lot more ye and thy rather than y'all. I like Brandy. Thanks for keeping my days entertaining. Have a great one, y'all. I mean, Brandy might be the fifth on the podcast. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I say y'all. I mean, I'm from Alabama. Both my parents use it. I use it all the time. I think it might sound forced because I enunciate pretty well relative to what's going on here. Because of books.

Because you read books. Books do help a lot, yeah. Books help enunciate. Do you use y'all a lot? You use it a lot? Y'all? I used to use y'all all the time. I use it all the time. And then I started waiting tables and I'd be like, how y'all doing? What can I get y'all to eat? Well, and I just y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all to where I don't even really use it that much now. Yeah, I think you use it. I think they get the gist of you being y'all.

like i don't know if you have to use it's like it's basically written yeah it's like you're the head coach of the y'all team it seems too much you're like you don't have to wear your team jersey i mean everybody everybody knows you're you're using it yeah like it's like maybe it's too much also have the y'all team outfit on yeah yeah you can go too hard yeah yeah i say y'all a lot

I feel like I do too. I'm sorry it sounds forced. That's how I was raised. Yeah. Yeah. You all would sound weird. You all. I say y'all all sometimes, which doesn't even make sense. Y'all all like to do. It's like when you're going to get your car fixed, you just feel like I'm trying to make, you know, you don't know how to talk down that low to a person that you just, you get yourself confused.

Yeah. Do you put a change in your pocket just for that day to rattle it around? What's up, y'all? All doing all right now? And you go, what are you doing? He goes, I got to go down and let one of those idiots fix my car. I have to go talk to these plebes at a Chiffee Lube. He goes...

You know, I want to look like I fit in. And you're taking your tie off and you're having to suit and you're putting it. Wrinkle it up a bit. Fill it up and go. Yeah. Is this what they look like? I don't, you know.

Let me put my bills away. Do you have any change I can have? I think the only- Have you seen my billfold? My billfold. When you hang out with country or relatives, do you ever feel like that you don't want to use big words? Even if the big- I don't use big words that's too smart. But I mean, sometimes if I'm in the country, I'm like, I try to not dumb it down, but-

switch it up a bit. I don't think people use big words around me still. Yeah. I think even when I meet people, I think they, I mean, sometimes they say it in a joking way, but I do think people talk to me and they kind of go, I've set a tone that's like, I'm going to go, I don't know what that word means. I just did an interview and I told someone, I go, I don't know what that word means. They're like, really? And I was like,

That makes you feel bad. Really? You're like, yeah, why would I know? Yeah. I think people's personalities and their vocabularies are way more flexible than people realize. Yeah. I think you kind of become whatever room you're in. I think I definitely feel myself doing that. And I think a lot of people do too. Yeah. I've learned it's not that bad to go, I don't know what that word means. Yeah. It's not that bad. Oh, I do that. I've done it enough.

And it's fun. It breaks the tension. If you ever don't know a word, it's funny. You can do it and be funny. And you're like, I don't know that word. And you're, I'll know what you're talking. You know, it's not like I ever just check. I'm still like not getting it. Then they go, all right, they change the word. They start explaining what it is. And I'm still like, this concept, I don't even understand. Yeah, it's a table. I find myself matching the inflection and the whatever. If someone calls me,

Everyone has a different type of greeting. Yeah. And I'll answer it, find myself trying to match their energy. Yes. It's like I want to fit in so bad that if they're like...

what's up b-dog whatever like i'm gonna try to beat them to the punch yeah or if they're low energy which you're pretty low energy a couple times you're like are you okay like somebody's trying to match what up b-dog to you how do you match that energy what do you do well i say what's happening jay dog not much here on the flippity flop it's like you're looking into a funhouse mirror of yourself yeah like it's the opposite like you're

Yeah, I'm a fan of, I even now, I'll look forward to a word. I go, I don't know what that word is. Sometimes I'll try, if I don't really know the person and you're like, this is just a casual, like something you're trying to be like, I don't want them to know that I don't know. But just so you don't know. And then people just, I've been, once I drove into a college gig,

uh, maybe Mississippi or something. Uh, this is a while ago, but I remember I stopped and got gas. And I remember being in a place that was like more Southern than I was probably comfortable with. Yeah. And it was like, you know, you can go out of your, you know, you're like, I'm Southern. I'm all about Tennessee, blah, blah, blah. And then you can get where it's like a little more country than you're like, well, I'm not even really. Oh yeah. You're like, this is, uh,

Let me take this collared shirt off before I go in the gas station. You feel like you just stick out. And you're like, no, no, I'm from the south too, but it's not that south. And then you're like, oh, yeah, hey, guys. You felt uncomfortable. Yeah, I've seen that. Leonard Warner, two dots above the O. What does that mean? I don't know. I think it's going to be, I think you'd pronounce that Werner. Werner.

So instead of just using a U or something, they just put dots. So every time he types his name out, he has to put two dots above it. Yeah. How do you even do that? You hold option. You hit option O. I feel like a guy like that. And you can do, that's what the line through it means. I feel like Leonard's probably good at typing because he has to have a little more flavor. Yeah. You're not even doing it.

I got the O with a dash through it if you want that. That's pretty good. Signed for Borat. Hey, guys. When I was listening to your podcast about aliens, I was standing outside of my apartment complex having a smoke and suddenly saw a fireball in the sky. That's a once-in-a-lifetime experience and it coincided. Is that it? Coincided. Coincided. How did they get the word coin? And then coincided. Coincided.

I wonder which word came first. Like who? The English language is wild. Coinsided. Coinsided. Coinsided. And a co is a prefix. Insided. As in the incident. Do you ever say incited? No. Not with a C. Yeah. Inside. So the coin has nothing to do with the coin.

Inside it. Inside it, yeah. That happened inside it. Inside it. Inside it. That's how you know your country? Where do y'all sleep? Inside it. Inside of the house. We're not that country. Yeah. The fact that you two just said y'all talk down to some people. Well, I didn't say talk down. I don't want that impression. Well, I didn't mean... Yeah, you're right. I didn't say I talk down. No. I...

They talk down. Right. You said you talk down. Y'all are. I'm trying to country it up a bit. Like if I'm in a gas station in Mississippi, I'll try to country it up. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Just so they, you know what I mean? Yeah. So they, yeah, you belong.

So, coincided with listening to you guys blabbering about aliens. I thought that was kind of cool. That is pretty cool. I've seen, yeah, I saw a fireball like that. I think I talked about it. It's crazy. It's low. Like a shooting star? But it's low. You almost can see the fire and the smoke. That's crazy. Yeah. Do you think every time he was looking at it, he took a puff, he's like, it's getting bigger. Yeah.

Now it's getting lighter. Now it's getting bigger. It's just the end of the cigarette. Well, all the stuff that I said, I think he's good on typing. And then it just went down the side of his apartment having a smoke. I'm like, well, he doesn't know how to type.

He probably did that by accident. Yeah, and then Leonard saw a fireball in the sky. You're like, well, I don't know. Yeah, these two dots might not mean what we think they mean. He didn't know how to get rid of it. Leonard's having a wild time. Yeah, Leonard's like, I just put those dots on there because I'm from Alabama. Brittany Vander Moyer. I always liked the last name, but it starts with a Vander. Yeah. I always think that's a good, you know, are they all related?

Oh, the Vanders. Yeah, because it's always like Vanders, some Vanders Sluzen, the guy that killed the... Vanderbeek. Vanderbeek. Like our Vanders... Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt. Is Vander, is that like, are they somehow related? Like it's not the Eno. It's like, well, we're all the Vanders, but then, you know, we're kind of like the, how you flash it up a little bit. Yeah. It means from the family of...

Oh, so there you go. From the family of Moore. So could we all be Vanders then? Is there any point to Vanders? Vander Bargetzi. Yeah, but is Vander really a thing or is it like these people are just trying to be better than us? It eventually becomes part of their actual name. I like Vanderslay. Vanderslay. That's actually pretty good. That does sound good. But why would... So Vander...

Like what word does that... Yeah, like is it... Are they being annoying when they add it? I don't think so. Yeah. It may have initially been a pretentious thing to do. Yeah. But it happened so long ago. Yeah, I'm not saying Britney is doing it now.

But like she's still, unless I go to her house and she's like, her dad's like, Mr. Moore. And you're like, come on, Brittany. You stole me Vanderbilt. It would be a good way to add in, you know, some flavor. Bates mentioned way back in the Halloween episode that he was taking up bird watching and also dropped a casual note that

That dusty sleigh was also an avid bird watcher. Any riveting birding adventures in the works? I think we're all on the edge of our seats for this update.

I'm on the edge of something. Well, for myself, I just have bird feeders at my house and then I'll just set out the back. This was mainly during the early days of COVID when we couldn't do anything. I would just set out, look at the birds. I looked, I had binoculars. And during that time, my neighbor tore down a six foot privacy fence and put up an eight foot privacy fence. So I think they really, they did. Wow. So I think he might've thought I was spying on him. Yeah. But,

He was very nice about it. What did he say? He said that he's an old guy. He goes, I'm about to get a new fence. That way you won't have to look at me anymore. And I was just trying to be fun. And I was like, hey, but I like looking at you. Yeah. That went up quick. Yeah. That fence went up quick. Yeah. But...

But I love the birds. I'm all about them. I wonder, yeah, that is two more feet. Can you not see in there now? No, and you're really not even allowed with the homeowners association to have an eight foot prophecy fence. Yeah. But somehow, I guess he contacted them. Oh, you should report them. Yeah. Well, he said- You gotta take that fence back down, buddy. No, you can't. Then they just saw you. Yeah, they were like, we get it. Make it 10. You want 10? Yeah. You want to enclose the whole thing? Do you have any bird-

We got a hawk now in our neighborhood that's... A neighborhood hawk? No one just says it like... I would never just claim like, well, eagle moved in down the street from us. So we're all talking about it. We got... Well, I only say it like that because Ruth read on the Neighborhood Association that it's been swooping down and trying to grab people's dogs. Maybe it'll get the squirrels. Well, I've seen it.

grab a squirrel. Wow. It didn't, it wasn't successful. We saw one successfully take one away. I saw it grab one and then the squirrel got away. But now our little dog, we can't just let her out in the backyard to roam around because Hulk's going to swoop down and try to grab her. There you go. I mean, just to, that'd be, it's a problem after problem. I mean, like just, it is, it's the wild west over there. It really is. It's the jungle. You just, even you go by, you get a dog and it still just can't,

It can't, yeah. Can't let it out to use the bathroom now. I got to go out there with a shield. Yeah. You got to go out there and umbrella. And the hawk might get you. It might. Yeah. I would, yeah, I would risk it with the dog. I don't know that I'd be out there with the hawk. Oh, Brian's dog is about as big as this coffee cup. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you're not a fan of dogs, so you might just say it's worth it, right? Yeah. Okay. Got to the bottom of that. Yeah.

Kyler Ludlow. You know who's the big bird watcher? Joe Zimmerman. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Giant bird watcher. Giant. We ask him about every bird. I've been with Joe, watch him. He'll spot a bird. Yeah. He goes to Central Park. Yeah. You know, I bought a Tennessee book, a book of birds of Tennessee. So I'll see the bird, flip through, find out what it is. Oh, that's nice. It's a lot of fun. Tennessee's got a lot of birds. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, no, I think, I do, I think it's,

It's great. Yeah, I think it's great. I do. Kyler Ludlow. I live in southeast Michigan and was excited to see a show coming on Nate's tour in Toledo come August. Then I found out that the show is at a zoo and it got me wondering, where is the strangest place you all have ever done a show and what animal would make for the best opener? I did an open mic in town last week where the stage was a pallet on a forklift.

That was new for me, to be standing on a forklift. I feel like the career's going well when that happens. Is that how you got started in comedy? Yeah, well, I was the forklift operator, and then I got off. I think I could do this. Just raising the stage up. Yeah, I just started doing it for the warehouse crew back there. Aaron and I did a show at a dog park, and...

I was finally getting some laughs, and then I realized it's because the dog behind me is pooping. That's tough to follow. I think Aaron even got a picture of it. Oh, yeah. I have a picture of it somewhere. The dog walked right up in front of you and started peeing all over the mic core while you were on stage. Yeah. And only when you were on stage.

I think I was one of the first ones, so I kind of set the tone. I think some other people later it happened to, but I'm the one that everyone saw it happen to first. I think any animal that would be a good opener would be tough to follow. Oh, yeah. I mean, like if an animal went on stage and was funny and then you had to go up and just do regular jokes. To follow a talking animal, yeah, it'd be tough. Yeah, I'm trying to think of what would be a good animal. Cheetah.

Maybe a little parakeet? He'll be quick on the time. Cheetah goes, you did one minute. You're supposed to do ten. A bat wouldn't see the light, dude. There's a dude perfect. A bat wouldn't see the light. I'm trying to find that picture. I'm trying to think who would be a peacock just because it's like

It's kind of nice. It's pleasant. It shows off as very arrogant, though. It likes to flaunt its wealth. That's true. It's Hollywood connection. We talked about tail comics. You're going to know they're closer. That's true. And they're going to knock everything off. A dog's going to give you a tail.

But a dog would do what's right by you. And you're like, go out there, don't do crowd work. Just do your act. Keep it clean. Keep it clean. A dog would love its audience and the audience would love it. Yeah. Yeah. And they would make the room right.

yes they make the room right for you yeah i think yeah if you want to look better you'd follow a cat because then a cat off-putting yeah after room you could run up with a newspaper and get it off the stage she'd walk some of the room yeah she'd walk most of the room and then like a few people would be would love her yeah and then uh yeah so those are not animals at zoos so you're doing a zoo

Toledo Zoo. They have an amphitheater. That's cool. Yeah, we're doing a bunch of amphitheaters in August. It'll be fun. A lot of outdoors. We'll go to Wilmington, North Carolina and back to the scene of the crime. Nice. Yeah. Oh, there it is right there. Or this is Aaron. Well, this is when the dog... They're in my set. Yeah.

All right. I'm glad we searched that out. That's pretty funny. Yeah. That was funny. I get it. What's that? What do you guys have? Look at you. You look different. I do. I was much bigger back then. Is that the palette back there that you performed on later? That just leaned up against the wall? Might have been. Yeah. Did you, were you the first comic that moved it over into the shade?

I just picked up the speaker and walked in. He said, you're welcome. Tyler York. I've only been to a few comedy shows and the smaller ones offer a meetup with the comics after this show. I saw Brian and Aaron in Salt Lake City and it was cool to meet you and thank you for the good show. But also, it feels a bit weird. Listening to the podcast is like an unreasonableness.

Reciprocated. Reciprocated. Unreciprocated. I almost went recuperated. Unreciprocated. Listen to the podcast. It's like an unreciprocated relationship.

Relationship. It's fun listening, but y'all have no idea who we are. Is it worth it to you guys to meet up? Are you tired of the show? Imagine from your perspective, it's not enough time to hold meaningful conversations with hundreds of folks. What is a good edit for others after the show? Would you prefer a quick thank you? Yeah, I don't know. It's always great. I mean, it's not about me being tired. Don't worry about me. That's how I think about it. I'll be all right. Don't worry about me.

Not in a mean way, I'm saying. It's not your responsibility. But it's, after you learn to, I mean, some of them, it's hard. I can't go meet like I would have liked, like I would like to. It's too hard to do it. There's too many people now. And it becomes a thing. I'll get to meet sometimes. I always appreciate it. I always see people always ask if I did a meet and greet.

You know, it's weird to take a picture. I mean, your whole career, no one wants a picture. So who am I to say I'm above it now? I'm not. So it is nice. It is nice when people are like, hey, man, big fan. But all of the experiences are their own personal experiences to what –

whatever that person wants to do. I think it's meaningful. I like it. In a club, I love it. I mean, you know, I'm not doing theaters to win. You don't like it in other places. Well, no, I mean, like you're saying, in a theater, it's like, yeah, it would be too many people. But in a club, it's like, yeah, it's great. I mean, I come right off the stage, so I'm still in like show mode. Yeah. And then can do it. I mean, you know, I think it's great. I mean, it is hard to have any kind of conversation, but it is fun to meet people.

Thank people for coming to see you do a show. I mean, I've definitely done many shows where I'm just thankful anyone's there. So it's like now that people actually do come to the show, you know, I love meeting people. Yeah. I'm not above it. I leave it all on the stage. I just don't know what else you people need from me.

uh, she Bates would like to throw this question back to you guys, the fans. What, what do you think is comfortable? How long would you want Bates to talk to you? Uh, should he just say a quick, thank you. Should he not follow you to the car? Should he not look up information about you as you walk away? And he says, all right. And should you not get an email from him saying, happy birthday? Uh,

Also, same thing back to... I've had many email exchanges. It usually ends with me doing the last... They've had enough after like five times. Like, all right, let's move on. I always get that it feels weird, but I always think you don't have to say that.

People say that a lot. I bet you hate this. Don't say like, I was kind of like, you know, that's all that, that to me is like kind of, you're like, I appreciate, I mean, I'm like, yeah, I started this career to hope people would want to come to your shows and meet you. You know, it's, it's fun to meet them. It's like, you only have so much time. So it's like, it might not, you know, it's like, but there's not gonna be like, it's you're there forever.

I think it's our responsibility to learn how to control the time of it too. That's part of, you know, you got to learn like, all right, let's, you know, it's like, because it is, it can be a lot. No one really knows what to do. So it's like, but that's the job of, honestly, I think it's kind of me or the person you're getting the picture with to kind of like kind of somewhat like, all right, making it a nice experience. Yeah.

When in the early days of featuring, I mean, I used to feature at these clubs and then, you know, it'd be like, uh, you know, I don't know some comic headlining that I don't know, in my opinion was not very good. And then I would, after the show, I would go and stand there with my CDs and,

no one would talk to me and everyone would talk to this comic that I just thought wasn't good. So it's nice when, now that people do talk to me. You know how many times we got, I was on stage and then got asked where the bathroom was or wasn't let back in the comedy club because they didn't know me or that, you know, I mean, I've headlined.

When in Chicago, I did one and they wouldn't add a show my ID. My name was two sold out shows. Not the last time I did it, another time. Two sold out shows and the guy wouldn't let me back. At the Vic? Wow. At the Vic. When I was with you. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, that happens still now. So, yeah, when people want to meet you or they say they're fans and some are quick and easy, some can be a little bit more and it's give and take. Overall, yeah.

Luckily, you guys are all very nice. And I always think your audience kind of you hope to be is you track people that are like you. Yeah. And so you it's a people that are going to know how to like all of us are like, yeah, I don't know. It doesn't become too much.

One time I was featuring and right when I came off stage, this guy was just, he came up to me, he was just raving about how good my comedy was. Right. And I was like, oh man, I really appreciate that. And then after the whole show was over, he comes up to the headliner and now he's raving to the headliner and then looks at me and goes, ah, you were a little dry. And I was like, dude, what happened? He just loved my comedy. What happened? Yeah. Yeah.

And so I just turned on, I pray you not do that. Yeah. Yeah. You appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you know, it took 45 minutes for you to think my comedy was bad. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

Spencer Heaton. I'm a Bible teacher at a Christian school. The amount of amazing biblical knowledge that Dusty just drops is incredible. It's making this podcast eerily close to becoming a weekly required listening assignment in the upcoming school year. Let's go, folks.

All right. All right. Well, I'm into it. He's into it. Thanks, Spencer Heaton. Dusty and I have had many, we got our camp chairs and sit out in the center of downtown Huntsville and had some Bible talk. There you go. Not fun. No, we kept attracting the drunkest people in town. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's what it's all about.

Yeah. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe it didn't feel like it. Maybe God was... He kept sending us. He kept sending us and y'all kept shooting them away. Maybe instead of just preaching to each other, maybe you could spread the word of the people that need it. Yeah, that is the opposite of what the whole point of being a Christian is supposed to be, to witness and, hey, do you mind? Homeless guy. We're having a conversation here. Guy that's got his life together. Hey.

And Jesus is like, what do you want me to do? Should I come down? What are you not going to believe right now? Yeah. Huntsville was wild. That's where we were at. I mean, it was wild downtown. Yeah. It's a party with downtown Jung. Yeah. Mike Connell. As far as people wanting to jump off cliffs, I was at the Cliffs of Moer in Ireland in the summer of 2019 for a family reunion.

Whoa. That is creepy. Goodness. That is wild. Did anybody else see this woman? Yeah. That's what Mike should be asking them.

Maybe Leonard Warner. Yeah. He's out there smoking. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. It called to me yesterday, but she didn't jump. Yeah. That would be the- Or maybe she did jump. Maybe it was a ghost. It was a ghost. Yeah. That's why. Oh, man. That creeps me out. Mm-hmm. You picture it cloudy and called to me yesterday. Well, I want to know, though, was Mike thinking of jumping in that moment?

What's the idea that everybody, when you go to a cliff, that's why he shared that story because you shared that story. My wife was watching that podcast and I said on that podcast that that never happens to me. But she said one time we were all driving down the road and me and her were fighting. And then later I told her I wanted to drive the car off the road. Yeah. And she said, you should have shared that or what it's like to fight with your wife. Yeah. And I was like, well, I don't, I didn't, I do remember it now.

Yeah. But yeah, we were fighting and I did want to just- But in the heat of the battle, you did it. I wanted to jerk the wheel and just- Anything. When you're in the heat of the moment, you'll do anything. Yeah, yeah.

I don't remember seeing it. I don't remember. I mean, I remember it now, but I was such a, in that moment, I could have killed her. So I don't like, I'm not good on my, it doesn't sound like a good relationship. But when I'm really in the thick of it, I don't know what I'm doing. But yeah, of course. What did you say? We're having a good time if everything goes the way I think it should go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true.

Bonnie Paragoy. Did you think I was going to do that? Yeah. Yeah. Thanks to Aaron, I got some good news at my annual doctor's appointment. I don't have a scale at home, so I don't ever weigh myself.

but I have been doing intermittent fasting and knew I was losing weight. Yesterday, I learned that I've lost 26 pounds in the last year and it was easy peasy. I just stopped eating breakfast. The new schedule is just the way I eat now. My doctor was very happy for me and asked if I had a goal to which I replied, no, not at all. This is just the way I eat now. Thanks, Nate Land. That's amazing. That's the way to do it. Congratulations, Bonnie. It's

So what do you think about getting back into it, Aaron? It just... Sorry. Hey there. Hey there. I feel like you're a guy that thinks about their credit a lot. Well, you know, I feel pretty good about where my credit's at these days, but there was a time when I spent a lot of time thinking about credit. Yeah, I think... Yeah, I don't even really know what our credit is, but...

It's probably all right. It's probably fine. Yeah, Laura thought about it a lot. I never thought about it. I've noticed the thing about the credit score. When I got my credit card, I was like, I'm going to build this score up. You make a payment on time. Make a payment on time. I did that for two years. And it's like your score has increased one point.

And you're like, my God. And then you miss it one month and it's dropped 30 points. And you're like, what is this dude? Is that really? Well, I feel like it drops so easily. If you do one thing slightly wrong, my credit will drop. If I just spent less money than last month. Yeah. It's like, I'm still paying my bill, but they're like, yeah, but you didn't spend as much. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. Like, how does that even make sense?

what is it you need it credit for like if you're gonna so i just got a car car yeah yeah they looked up my credit score it it just shows you if you pay your bills on time that's all can we trust you to yeah to pay everything yeah and what's a good score

Like anything like 680 and above is pretty good. Yeah. Right? And there's three places they look? The Experian's one. Equifax? Equifax, and then there's one other. Yeah. And then they combine them? They can do an average. Yeah. When I got the car, they just looked at one. Yeah. And they're like, this is fine. Yeah. All right. Well, I hope your credit score is up to...

Well, you know, they used to have all these commercials for checking your credit score, which I always thought was fun because they would act like that your credit score would get better just by checking it. But the reality is it can go down if you check it. Just for looking at it. Yeah. They don't want you looking that much. Yeah. You'd say in the commercials, you go, do you want to live at your parents' house forever? You better check that credit score. Yeah, exactly. But then if you check it, you get in trouble. Right. They're like, don't look. What are you looking at?

Yeah, if you go to the bank and the bank checks and they call it a hard credit check, then that can really affect it. It's a bad thing because you're doing so bad that you had to get the bank involved. So you get punished for that? Who is doing this? These independent companies, these credit evaluators. Okay. Yeah. And they decide on how you...

Spend money. Somebody who loans you money will want your score from these companies so they know whether or not they can trust you. Yeah, but you got to trust those companies. I'd imagine those companies, you're like, well, who are they? Sure. You could say you don't know who they are. Yeah, but you have no leverage in this situation at all. But how could you punish someone for just checking the score? I should be able to check the score as often as I want. Mm-hmm.

That doesn't seem fair. You're right, it doesn't. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why they do that. That's the way it works. You're not even allowed to go see it. So how do you know if it's bad? Well, you must not be good if you're worried about it this much. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know the reason. If that's real, that's crazy. That can't be the reason. That can't be the... Like, you get punished for...

I mean, is our credit going to go down because we're talking about this right now? Yeah, it could be. I think there's a soft check where you can look and it doesn't affect it.

you just gotta peep is there i don't know that's like heard that all right oh you can look through the door yeah i'm not gonna you can't walk in the room you can look at the screen door you can open it can you have a friend look for you i saw two zeros i don't know if there was a one or a seven but it's either one or 700 i'm either 100 or 700 that's what i know i'm at like that's i don't like who like how hard is it to check someone's credit

Like it doesn't even, it's pretty easy. It's not like you got to go to a factory and they got to put together like, all right, you want me to check you? It's like, you're going to get punished. It's your, you're like, how's your credit score not just stay like on a, you could have it on your app. Mine is on my credit card app when it's just, it's just right there on the home screen. So every time you see it. Yeah. But that's a soft check. Yeah. A hard inquiry or a hard check is when a financial institution actually does like an official check.

And I think that thing is- And that affects your credit score. And then you can drop, your credit score can drop. I think if you try to get a loan and then someone looks at your credit and decides that your credit's not good enough, and then you go somewhere else and then they check, I think you're dropping because they're going, well, if these banks don't trust this guy, do we really trust him? Yeah.

Yeah, here's an explanation from Credit Karma. It said multiple hard inquiries in a short period, if you're getting a lot of hard checks in a short amount of time, that could lead lenders and credit card issuers to consider you a higher risk customer as it suggests you may be short on cash or getting ready to rack up a lot of debt. So if they're like, if you're checking on your credit score, if you get a hard check, then you're about to get a lot of money. You're about to go into debt.

That's what they want. I don't know why they make your credit go down. That's what they want is you to loan a lot of money. I don't know. Well, the idea of the soft credit, I just don't like that. It's like, what's the soft? So the soft one, you're like, so that's not a real number? And you're like, I'm eyeballing it. If you could look at your soft credit, can it really be like it's six? So soft credit says it's 680, and then you go to a hard one. They're like, it's 200. Yeah, just do it at the bank on your own app. This is it right here. Yeah.

Like what's the difference of a soft and, you know, I think I don't like that there's a way that it's like, it feels like someone could change something. I think that's what, like from the soft to the hard is like, there's something where you're like, what does that mean? Like, what is that? Why is it like, well, this one's kind of it. And then you go look here and you're like, well, now that's someone just literally looking at you going like, I don't want. Because if you have a higher limit on your credit card, then your credit, your credit will go up.

So it's like, it's almost like if they're like, you're allowed to have this much. Can we trust you with it? Yeah. Here you go. Not to get too crazy, but the, the, the scary part is this. Let's say the government starts looking at your number and then they go, you can't go to a grocery store if your credit scores under a certain number. Yeah. Your kid can't go to college.

If your credit score is under a certain number. It's crazy. Yeah. That can happen. Yeah. They say you can't go to a grocery store if your credit's too low. Why not? What's stopping them? Yeah, that's what they're saying right now. They said that today. It came out in the news today. That's been happening for years. Yeah.

that's a good you know well China in some places they give you the social credit score they give you a score just yeah that is true just being a person yeah like you're a good dude not a good dude and you're not allowed to do certain stuff with your score they always use oh really they always use jaywalking they say like if you're caught jaywalking they'll drop your or if you're not nice to people what are you not allowed to do I think I like this what are you not what are you not allowed to do

I think get things like get a loan or buy certain things. Oh, yeah. Or not ride public transportation. Oh, really? I think so in China, yeah. Because you're, that's crazy. So you're allowed to just. Not all of China, but just certain places. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of like an Uber rating. Yeah. It is. It's like an Uber rating for your whole life. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. But who decides that in China? The government or like crowdsource? Because they're the ones writing it off. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it's probably...

I don't think it's all probably done with the right heart in mind. No. A lot of the other things, it's like an idea that you're like, the heart is there. But it's... They mean well. Yeah. But I don't know. You can get throttled internet speeds. You can get banned from flights. Wow. Yeah. Because you're social, you're like, it was a bachelor party. Yeah.

It was 25 years ago. I can't. You're not going to let me into this Toys R Us. All right. This week, talking about the opposite of any of this, animal attacks. All right. Yeah. I love it. I imagine if you get attacked by an animal, that's going to lower your social credit score, though. Does it do the animals? I don't know if it would. Would it? It depends on... I would be curious to see what the animal attack... It depends if...

What's the situation? How did you handle yourself during it? Well, were you... Did you lose your cool? Like, was it provoked? If you provoked it, that would be... That's your social score. Is the animal endangered? Yeah. Oh, that's another one. That's not good. Well, I'm guessing the governments that are initiating programs like that aren't too crazy about protecting endangered species. You know, that's the way I think. Yeah. Yeah.

A political statement. Wow. China's not known for its national parks. Are they not? Maybe it is. I genuinely don't have any idea. Yeah. They got a great wall. Yeah, they're pretty big about that. Their big thing they're big about is don't come in here. Have you seen our wall? That's like a very funny thing that you offer. Can I get a tour of the house? Yeah, first look at the front door and the outside of it.

Welcome to this. Hey, you're not allowed in. Everybody goes and takes their biggest thing is to go look at the thing that doesn't let people in. Have you seen her at Great Wall of China? That might not even be what the Wall of China is like. I think at one time it was. The idea of our big thing is to keep people out. Ours is the Statue of Liberty, which is welcoming people to the country. Yeah, have you seen ours? Right when you come in the door. Hello? There it is.

Welcome to New Jersey. Lighting the way for you. Yeah. The torch up there. They did a survey a few months ago of Americans to see what animals would win in a fight and what animals humans could beat in a fight. And if you could pull that up. Yeah. 6% of American men said they could beat a grizzly bear in a fight.

Which is ridiculous. I imagine these are big dudes, though, I would say that. Yeah, but still, come on. Just juke it. What about like a Brock Lesnar type? You don't think Brock Lesnar could take a grizzly bear? I looked up, like, could an MMA fighter, like, choke a bear out or just anything? And they're like, no, it would be over just like that. But people have done it before. Yeah. People have fought off bears. Yeah. Well, they fought off. They didn't win a fight.

I'd say if the bear left. I mean, I saw The Revenant. That's based on a true story. By bear. He had a gun and a knife. Remember the old Tank Abbott? Yeah. MMA guy. I think if he got a couple of punches to the face of the grizzly bear, I think he'd take it. Well, Khabib wrestled bears, right? When he was a kid, Khabib would wrestle bears. Yeah, they're big dudes. Yeah, I'd take this guy over a bear. Yeah.

It's the idea that your brains come into it. Are you serious? Yeah, why not? People have killed bears before. So your smartness comes into play too. So that's used as your advantage. You're talking about pure strength? No, no humans are strong. You're talking about like just straight up they walk in and it's like, here we go. And you just got to be smarter than the bear. You trip it.

trip as he falls down. You know how hard it is for a bear to get back up? It's not easy. Imagine a bear comes and attacks a guy like Butterbean. Yeah, you got Butterbean pulled up. And Butterbean starts whacking him. He's like, whoa, whoa, I didn't see that coming. Yeah. He's like, the last guy I attacked just laid down on the ground and played dead. I think a lot of stuff will have to go right. Yeah. Yeah. To say the least. But...

I mean, what about like... I think 6% is a good amount. That's a good amount that said they could do it. Yeah, I believe those 6%. Yeah. I believe those 6%, and you can talk to me that it's only 4%, and there's 2% that's just, well, you're a lunatic. What about like... And then there's the 4% that you're like, all right. Now that, if you could scroll down a little bit further, it'll show like what animals, that's what...

you could beat. I love the fact that 28% feel like they can't take out a rat. Yeah. I might be one of those 28. Yeah. House cat, goose, 61%. Goose are tricky. Yeah, they're mean. They're mean. I got boxed out by some geese on a hike in Bristol, Tennessee. This little narrow passageway, this goose just stood there in the middle and just wouldn't let me pass. And it took like 20 minutes.

They're scary, dude. The thing about a lot of these animals is you can't just go around kicking a goose. Like if you were down there on that trail and that goose was coming at you and you kicked it, stomped that goose into the ground, and then some other hikers came, they'd be like, jeez, dude. So I would think...

you got to look at the, you look at this list of animals. So that's, it goes, uh, rat, house cat, goose, medium sized dog, medium sized dog is down to 50%. I think they could beat it. Eagle 30, large dog 23, chimpanzee 17, King Cobra 15. So now you're getting into the low ones. So you got to go, all right, where am I, where am I getting nervous at? Uh,

you know, large dog, you're like, all right, I think I could beat it. I think you got to look at like, what animal am I comfortable charging? So who am I comfortable like,

grabbing and like charging and you got to really be on man to man combat. And so you got the dog, the champion Z, I think is tough because they're just so much, they're strong. Yeah. That if they, uh, and they have fingers and stuff like you. So that's, that's bad news. Yep. Uh, King Cobra obviously is just, I mean, I think you could beat it up. You'd have to get it by the tail and then sling it. But once you did that, it would be over, but it's, I charm it. Okay.

I play music. You would? Yeah, yeah.

You know, my dad told me he knew a guy... That guy attacked by a fox recently. He was cleaning his pool and a fox came up. And he said the guy killed the fox. But the fox was tearing him up. Was biting his legs and just bit the guy up. In the end, he won. But he got eat up. Yeah, I think every animal is going to be tough. I mean, even a rat would be hard. It's a matter of like...

You got to think now this is not a normal fight. This is, this is a fight to the death. So you're thinking you're in a room. You can't leave the room. One of you, maybe not. Is it a fight to the fight to death? I don't know. They don't specify to the death. It's going to be, it's going to be tough to kill a grizzly bear with your bare hands. Yeah. Like it's going to be tough to kill a lot of these things. Yeah. Even, you know, the stories I know about people that have killed grizzly bears, they had a knife. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

So, and that's, well, but it's not fair. He's been looking at me with disappointment since I said that. He's been mean mugging me from across the table. I just think it's ridiculous that you could beat a bear in a fight. You think it's ridiculous that any single human being could beat a grizzly bear? I do. You don't think any human being who's ever lived could take a grizzly bear in a fight? Andre the Giant. I,

I mean, maybe you get lucky and survive, but you're not... Well, that's what we're talking about. No, you could run from a bear and survive. I'm talking about where he got the worst... No, I'm talking about a fight. He got the worst fight. Bam Bam Bigelow. No. These bears weigh 500, 600, 700 pounds. They've got the huge paws and claws. They're allowed to bring knives. I almost think a lion...

is scarier to me than a bear why is that because a lion is like you don't know how to grab it well you can ride a lion cats just feel like it would be a house cat feels like it would be tough in a lot of ways but then make it a lion yeah i know i heard of a lady i would slide and take all four of its legs out oh yeah his legs are small

Yeah. I'd go, if I have the lion, I'm going legs, maybe tail. I want to do something with the tail. I bet they don't like that. Tail's got to be the way to go. I bet they don't like that at all. What about the mane? And if you control that tail, you control that lion. I read a story about a lady in Georgia that choked out a bobcat with her bare hands. Uh-huh. Yeah. And it said it was trying to attack her and her grandbaby. So she choked it out. And then I went to that town and did comedy.

And I talked about that lady at the show. Next time I went back to that town, she came. No way. And we met. Wow. Yeah. And what'd she say? Well, she just said, I called her a hero. Yeah. And she said, well, I'm not a hero, but I was about to attack my grandbaby. You go to this town a lot, huh?

I've been there twice. Yeah. It only took two times. Yeah. Is this D.D. Phillips? Is that her name? I don't know. What's the town that you got here? This is the town of Hart County, 110 miles northeast of Atlanta. I think we went to the town. We did the show together in that theater. Oh, okay. And she came to that show. Oh, wow. Well, we stayed at that cabin. That's right. Yeah, I was with you. Yeah. I don't remember meeting this woman. Yeah.

I would think you would. Well, she was just a regular woman. It's a crazy show. It wasn't right after the attack. After you met him, did you not go to Aaron and go, by the way, that woman strangled a bobcat? I'm sure I did. The bobcat was rabid, by the way. Yeah. Which kind of ups the ante a little bit. Yeah, but it's weak. That fox probably was too. Yeah.

It was weak, though. It was weak, but if you get bit or it gets on you at all, you could get rabies. I bet you had to get a tetanus shot. A rabies shot. Tetanus shot. Rabies. Tetanus.

I would ask for a tetanus shot. Then you'd die of rabies right after. I'll tell you what. I'm so thirsty. I'm tired of going to the doctor and going, when was your last tetanus shot? I don't know. Quit asking me. I don't. Does everybody just remember? I don't remember mine. And they go, have you had a tetanus shot recently? And then they're like, well, in the past 10 years. What are you talking about, dude? I don't walk around stepping on a lot of nails. Yeah. I have no idea when I've had a tetanus shot. I don't know.

stepping on a nail was a big fear for us as a kid for some reason. There's a chance I've never had a tennis shot, and I've just told doctors I think I did have one recently. Yeah. Because I can never remember. Is there a danger in getting too many too close to each other? I don't know, but they should keep more of a better chart. Yeah, maybe keep track of that a little bit. It's because you're getting tennis shots. I mean, you get a tennis shot, you can get them in the back alley. I mean, they're just handing them out. So you're never at a proper thing. You're always just in the back of a Home Depot. Yeah.

You want a tetanus shot? And you're like, I don't know. He's like, have you had one recently? You're like, why am I even getting offered this right now? Yeah. Well, there was a, the list of deadliest animals in the US. I mean, you could guess, but I'm going to tell you, it's kind of a, it's not what we're talking about. It's not a trick question, but it's not like the meanest animal.

The deadliest spider. Mosquito. Mosquito is by far the deadliest worldwide. Deer. Oh, yeah. Deers are pretty wild. Deer kill people? Just because of car wrecks. Yeah. Oh.

So that's why I'm saying it's a little misleading. Here we go. I mean, there's one list that said humans because of global warming. Oh, my goodness. Here we go. We can't even have a conversation. I think the humans could be a lot more deadly for other reasons than global warming. Yeah, they just straight up kill each other. Yeah. But deer, I've heard about people shooting deer.

go in to look for the deer and had not killed it, and then the deer attack them. Oh, that's a pretty smart move on the deer. Yeah. Kind of respect it. Yeah. Standing up behind a tree. You used to have a very funny joke about that, shooting at a deer and he not letting it go. Yeah. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you shoot a deer and missed, and the deer, you know,

Yeah, the deer. The wife's like, let it go. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Go back inside. Hey, where'd you get off? Something like that. Yeah. Well, as far as bear attacks, it basically said don't do what you suggested. Don't try to run from the bear. The grizzly bear, that is. Because no one's trying it.

They said they can run as fast as a horse. Wow. It doesn't matter. It's the... It's the juice of the doubt. Shake and bake? Barry Sanders could evade a grizzly bear. Yeah, I bet so. I bet Barry Sanders could tackle a grizzly bear. Well, he's a running back. But you tell me, though, he couldn't tackle it?

You told me Barry Sanders couldn't tackle it. Come on. Come on. You sound like a guy. I feel like you slurred that, too. I did. You sound like an old drunk Dusty. You told me Barry Sanders. You said Barry Sanders can't tackle a book, and you're like, Dusty, are you driving? Did you? Yeah.

Very sad. You're going to look me in the face. He said occasion. Right now in the face, you're going to look me in the eyes, face, and say, best son, best son, can I take a good bit? Best son, can I take a good bit? Is that what you're going to tell me right now? All right, Dusty. All right, buddy. This guy, something's wrong with him.

It says, while you're walking on the trail, grizzly bears yell hello or whoop whoop. Hey, bear. Whoop whoop. Whoop whoop. Why is there another cop? Popo here. Whoop whoop. Clap your hands. That's nothing. Bells don't work, they said. Not effective warning. What doesn't work? Wearing a bell. Oh. Because they...

Because you can hear it. Do we talk about that show alone yet? No, but I've been getting told about it a bunch. I just watched the season that's on Netflix. Yeah, it's like season eight. I heard it's awesome. Yeah, it is really cool. And they say hey bear a ton because they run into grizzly bears nonstop. But they also all have an air horn on them. They give them all an air horn and that'll get them to go away most of the time. That's why, so you look at a fight. So it depends on what comes into play with a fight.

So it's the 6%. I get the idea of like, yes, the bears are much stronger. But in a fight, if they're scared of noise, an air horn, then you're like, you do have, there's some advantage of the fact that this bear is so dumb. Yeah. That comes into play. Pure strength, I can't. But I mean, outsmarting it is, I'm not saying you want to take the risk of this.

Not even saying you wouldn't take the risk of fighting this, like that you're, but if you have to in a situation you're fighting it, you're going to have to use your smarts. And that's when you talk about running with it. You're like, you're just zigzagging. You're going through the trees. Go make circles around some trees. He doesn't know what's, he's never seen this. Yeah. They're just all, you know, they walk straight. They don't do, and you're, yeah.

Let me ask you this, Brian. The grizzly bear comes at me and we kind of square up, and then I yell as loud as an air horn, and the grizzly bear runs away. Is that not winning the fight to you? I don't even think that was a fight. But it would be the start of a fight. You're talking about physical strength. We're talking about, look, can I bench press as much as a bear? No. All right? Yeah. Is he going to do better than me at the combine? Yes. But am I going to?

Is he going to make the team? I don't know. Because he can't keep it together long enough. I like the idea that you square up with the bear and then yell like an air horn. Yeah. Bear Sands. Bear Sands. Because him, Bear Sands, can't be getting talk of his bear. He's linebacker for the New York Giants. Bear Sands. Bear Sands.

Doesn't know anything about sports. Barry Sanders could do it. Barry Sanders, fast baseball player. So if you're attacked by a grizzly bear, you should play dead.

But if it's a black bear, don't play dead. Try to fight it off. What do they say? If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lay down. Yeah, that's right. It's good to remember. Yeah. I'm just looking at the screen here. I see that there is some percentage that appears to be able to beat an elephant. Now, that's the most astounding to me. It says 9% of men say they could take on an elephant. 8%. 8% of women. Yeah. I mean...

I mean, an elephant's huge. Yeah, but you can get a... But you can... An elephant is not real nimble. It's not in a... It's turn radius. It probably takes 10 years to rotate around. It's going to jump on one of those Velcro walls. Yeah.

That's what I just pictured. Kind of. Sit there and. Legs are all spread open. Yeah. And you just. I mean, yeah, we're talking about if you're talking about physical strength, then there's basically no on all this. But if you're allowed to use your brain, your brain is extremely powerful. And these elephants, they, you know. I mean, they're in the circus, dude. We have conquered the elephant. Yeah. Yeah.

Bears too, though. We've conquered the whole world. Yeah. We're killing it. It is true. You don't see a lot of gorillas in the circus, though, do you? You see chimpanzees. You see chimpanzees all the time. A good bit, yeah. A dime a dozen. Yeah. Too many of them, a lot of people say. What do you have, chimpanzees? Yeah. If I'm in a circus, it doesn't have chimpanzees. Yeah, what kind of circus is this? Yeah.

It says if an elephant... Yeah, I don't know who won the fight. I don't know. Go to our zoo. We have them in cages. So who... You tell me. Let me go meet your bear zoo that's got a bunch of... That's got a cul-de-sac that I can go walk around and visit. You can't. It says if an elephant tries to attack you, stand your ground and shout loudly at the elephant. In most cases, it'll make one or two mock charges and then move off. You gotta be really...

Really not to flinch there. Yeah. If the elephant isn't mock charging, but makes real charge, run from the animal in a zigzag pattern and find a large object, hide behind, yell something like no or stop that or get out of here at the elephant. That's the only words they know? Stop that. No. No. No. It's like an elephant that has no interaction with a human being. And then he goes, no. He goes, all right. Now, there was a case last month in India where an elephant killed a woman.

And they found her body. And then they had the funeral. And on the way to the funeral, the elephant saw the woman's body and came running and trampled her corpse again. It was so mad at her for whatever reason that it sought her out. You got to love this elephant. Why did they bring the elephant to the funeral? You got to love that elephant. Oh, yeah.

Oh, wait. Oh, they say an elephant never forgets. She got killed by an elephant. Yes. And then the elephant, why was the elephant at the funeral? That's what I'm wondering. Yeah. It was outdoors and it was just roaming and they were like an outdoor place to have the funeral and the elephant comes out of nowhere. This is India and an attack. Comes out of nowhere. See, I think, I don't know if I believe in you. Like, so this is what I think.

There's literally parts that people think they make it sound like India or these other countries that people don't know how to live. Yeah. And they don't know how to even exist on Earth. Because that doesn't make sense to me. That I don't like this story is you're like, so she was killed by an elephant. Yeah. And the elephant stayed. And then they said, we're doing the funeral. And you're like, we thought about doing it where she was killed by the elephant.

And then the elephant's like, dude, come on. She's still here. And then runs and does it again. Yep. It doesn't make, like, it's like, you want to go like, what do you, you don't think Indian people know how to live a life, dude? Like, they're not, it's just, I don't know if I believe this. I love that elephant. Could you Google it? Yeah. I mean, I love that elephant. That elephant's like, nah, I'm not letting it go.

Yeah. I don't know what that lady did. Elephants have great memories. I'd like to know what she did. Yeah. Because that elephant was like, nah, this lady does not deserve this funeral. Yeah. Yeah. It's a big, long story. Elephant reportedly returns a woman's funeral after trembling her to death. I just don't... It's like...

It's loading. It's just going to take a minute. So what do you do if an alligator or a crocodile comes in? Zigzag. That's what we'd always heard, but that's not true. Oh, what do you do? You roll. Yeah. Go ahead, because that's what he's going to try to do to you. So you go ahead and do it. You go ahead and do it and roll to the ground. Yeah, and the alligator's like, oh, whoa. That's what I was going to do. Yeah. I would say you run and jump.

Like right when he's running at you, you run and jump over it. Like the game Pitfall. Yeah. The old Atari game. Yeah. Do you run toward him and then when you get there, jump him? Yeah. Yeah.

It'll take them a while to turn around. Yeah. They always say like these animals can run 30 miles. That's the thing too. Like, but they don't want to chase you. Like if like they're there, they can run and burst, but you go tell me that an alligator can keep up 30 miles an hour for a good. Well, you're right. In this case, they say run as fast as you can a straight line. Cause you can outrun an alligator. It says they run 18 to 20 miles per hour. It would catch me, but most people, they say could outrun an alligator or a crocodile. If you just run as fast as you can away. Yeah. Yeah.

So don't run a zigzag. They just said run as fast as you can in a straight line. Zigzag probably would get you caught. Yeah, it would slow you down. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I would think that you could. It's, yeah, I would. Because, you know, all these animals can run fast, but like unless it's like a lion or it's like something that's like honey, like, you know. Yeah, alligator's all about the sneak attack. Yeah. Just don't be in a swamp.

getting down to scoop a little water. Like that's even like with a bear. So if I run, if I get out of the, where the bear is being protective, like where the cubs are, eventually if you run and get far enough away, does the bear then just go like, all right, he's out of my zone. And then you just keep going another way.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like he's like, finally he's gone. Yeah. It won't stray too far from home. Yeah. Like it's just trying to get you out of the, you got to go into like, what is the bear want? He just doesn't want me to be in. She doesn't want me to be here. They're so fast that they catch you quick. You don't even get to get out of their zone. But they got to run through trees and stuff. I mean, it's not like there's not, we're talking about like a, on a track. If I, if I, if I meet a bear and we're on a high school,

running track. I'm in trouble. But if you got some trees in the way... But don't you have those same trees? But I'm way smaller. So you can dodge them. I could. I mean, you know. It's...

Yeah, I mean, it depends on your dodging ability. That's for sure. Your dodging ability is much better than a bear's. I mean, I know they can go, but they're going to just start hitting some trees, and they're going to knock them down with their force. Look, I'm not saying we're going to try to do this with a bear completely, but...

It's possible. Let's have a conversation about it. There was a couple weeks ago, there was a video of family hiking and a bear started following them. And they had their kids with them. Oh, yeah, I saw it. And they were yelling, hey, bear. Yeah. And the little kid was like, can we play dead now? Yeah. And I think after a while, that bear finally just trailed off. Yeah. He just got bored with them eventually? I think so. I think it was like 20 minutes. Yeah, follow them for a while. They don't... It's not like the bear wants to eat you, really. Unless they're in like an... I started... There's this...

on YouTube called Scary Bear Attacks. And it's just brutal, gritty bear attacks. And so I just started like, I started listening. There was a bear, it's been in this story a long time ago, where, this was forever ago, but a bear killed like six people in a family. Like went into a house

And like went after like the people, you know. But this was back when people left, which I guess is the same with the India thing, saying the same thing, but they still live like. This was, the case in India was an elephant escaped from a nearby wildlife sanctuary. It was like 10 minutes away from this little city. Yeah.

So it was like a wild elephant on the loose. It attacked this woman, killed her, and then showed back up when they were doing the funeral. I like to think that woman was at the zoo the day before taunting the elephant. Yeah, throwing stuff at her. And the elephant was like, you know what? I have figured out how to get out of here, but I didn't have a good reason. Now I do. Yeah. It's crazy. Now I'm going to go ahead and get out of here. It was a 70-year-old woman, too. Yeah, it still seems...

Yeah, it's definitely a crazy story. Yeah, it's a crazy story. I don't... Yeah, I don't know. Well, Hugh Glass, the guy from The Revenant... There's never a photo of... That's like a foul photo. There's never... It's all this... I just would like to be like, where... I guess I want to wrap my head around it. Yeah. It's hard. And I could be completely wrong, but it's...

So you said the guy from the... Hugh Glass, the guy the Revenant's based on. That's a real story. The grizzly bear. And they did leave him for dead. Two guys. They thought he wasn't going to make it and left him for dead. And then he crawled his way to safety and sought those guys out. He didn't kill them. But it's much more true than I realized about the Revenant. Yeah.

What did he do when he got to them? I think one of them was fighting in the war and he told him that you better stay enlisted in the army or if you ever leave the army, I'm going to kill you. Yeah. He just threatened him. And the other one, I can't remember. One thing I read is he said he just forgave him.

Yeah. The other one said he threatened them. Why did they leave him out there? Just because... They thought he was dead. They wasn't going to make it. Oh, they were all together. It was just two guys. Yeah. That were left, just like the movie, left to watch after him. I need to watch it again. I barely...

You know, most of them went on. Two guys volunteered to stay and watch him. Oh, because he was attacked with the group. Two guys stayed to watch him, to heal him back up. And then they go, look, he's not going to make it. And so then they left. Left him for dead. And then he survived. He crawled himself to safety. Yeah. That movie was wild. I mean, I said it already, but that changed my whole outlook on bears. I still think Butterbean, Tank Abbott got a good chance with a bear, but not me.

Yeah. I don't think they got a good chance. Yeah. They got, but it's better chance than us. Yeah. It, but I mean the bears are so much stronger. I mean, it is, it's, it's, it's a joke in the fact that like they, I mean, they can lift a car. I just think Butterbean, they can move a car like it's not with one hand. Butterbean in his prime pops him a couple of times. That bear is going to be like, well, this, I didn't really bargain for

But if you add your brains into it, the smart. That bear in Alaska, the one that walked past the tourist? Yeah. That's so crazy that they, I mean, I'm sure they were scared to death, but they're just, I mean, I guess you just freeze. What about Mike Tyson versus a bear? Mike Tyson in his prime. In his prime. In his prime. But he gets at least the first punch. Yeah. Is it enough to make the bear walk away? I mean, look at that thing. Here's a bear walking through Alaska. Yeah, that's so good.

Cotton Eye National Park. Yeah, that looks like it. That's a grizzly bear, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's crazy. If that bear wants to, and he sees himself. Uh-oh. He sees himself on the sign. And he comes back to them? Yeah, they're saying, hey, bear. Oh. Why are they saying anything? Yeah. You gotta be nice to them. Oh, man. And then. They're friendly. Well, because you have no choice, I guess, there, but to just try not to be like, I hope he doesn't really care about us.

I mean, I think the move is not make a sound. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think, but it's don't make any jerky motions or sudden movements. I mean, when you think, all right, it's gone, and then when it stops and turns, you're like, oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah. I don't think people can think, you know, you're kind of like, well, I don't know if anything's going to happen with this. But, I mean, look, the bear is, it would be, yeah, it would be tough to beat it in a fight. Where's the guy? Your brains have to come into it.

If the bear gets you, it's over. I think if he gets any human, it's over. You can't get him off of, you know. But if you got to...

Yeah, you got to be quick. You got to do some moves. You got to figure something out. If you run, you got to run. I think you got to run. They tell you don't run then, but when the bear starts attacking you, I think at a point. I think your instincts kick in. Could a lion beat a bear, you think? That would be a fun match. I think I looked it up. Didn't you ask that last time? Yeah, we asked. I don't think it could. They would never meet.

There is cases of a Siberian... They will one day in my world. We should make it happen. At the Nate Land theme park. At the Nate Land theme park.

I'm not going to have barriers between mine. Siberian tigers, I think, have killed bears. Grizzly bears? Yeah. I think so. But those tigers are huge. They're much bigger. It's a matter of, is it going to know it's in a fight? So if you tell a grizzly bear, you're in a fight, and he's like, all right, I understand that, then you're in trouble. Right. If you get surprised by one...

Yeah. There was a bear attack, especially black bears, incredibly rare. But there was a couple of years ago with Smoky Mountains, they found a bear eating a guy. The guy was dead. And they were like, wow, this is crazy. They euthanized the bear. Turns out the guy had already died from a meth overdose and the bear had just found him. So...

It wasn't like a bear attack. It just happened the bear found the body. But people were freaking out for a short time. Like, there's a wild bear on the loose. Yeah. I feel like there's a comic I know that has a joke about that. Chance Willie has a joke about that. It's like, yeah, well, now the bear is on meth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Meth edible, he says. Yeah. Yeah. Now, constricting snakes, would you know how to... What to do there? How to get out of it? Yeah. A bear? Yeah. And...

You bite the snake. Yeah. Do you need to get your arms in there? It says take your non-dominant hand, wrap your arm around your ribs to try to protect it, and then take your dominant and try to pull it off by the head. It depends on how big it is. If it's big, you're in trouble. It's like an anaconda. Is biting it not an option? No, it is. I mean, all options are on the table. Yeah.

I would say bite a chunk out of it. Yeah. Constrict it. Yeah. I don't know if you could bite through enough. Yeah, I wouldn't. You could try. I mean, I definitely think you'd try it. Obviously, you'd try anything. Yeah, these anacondas are, I think if it gets near you, you're done. I think we're going, like, if we could win a fight with a bear, we're going back to, like, it's basically, it's like, all right, I technically could win a fight with a bear, but if I had to take a test and the bear had to take a test, I think I could pass the test.

I agree with that. I was in, my sister used to work at the horticulture department in Auburn. What? At the horticulture department, they do like, I don't know, wildlife stuff, plants. What's the word? Horticulture. Horticulture. Yeah. Okay.

And I was a kid, and I was wandering around in there, and I went into this lady's office, and she had this snake. I think it was a python. And she let me hold the snake. And then I'm just hanging out, holding the snake, and then she gets a phone call and goes into another room, and I'm just holding the snake. And then the snake keeps almost like cocking its head back, like it's about to snap at me.

And I was freaking out. And I remember kind of busting into this lady's office and just giving her the snake and running out of there. I do not do snakes. Yeah. I mean, snakes are... That's the scariest to me. God cursed them. Yeah. It's the... It would...

Yeah, people are sometimes too relaxed with giving someone a snake. When they're used to being around snakes, and they kind of hand them off, like a little too loosey-goosey. Snakes are so... There used to be this place we used to go to. They called it Ripville, but it was a creek that you would go... I mean, my dad lived way out in the country, but you had to go further out in the country to get to this little creek. And we would go out there, and the creek was crystal clear, and it had this...

like waterfall but the waterfall was all rock and it was real slick so you could slide down this it was like a big like nature water slide and then when you got down into the bottom it was a little pool and then they had a rope that you could climb and walk up the rock

And I was always like ready to get in. I mean, I wanted to be the first one in there. And I slid down this thing and I swam over to the rope and there was a snake wrapped around the rope. Oh, wow. And I was like, oh, no. Yeah. You know? Because I'm like, you know, I'd seen the movie Lonesome Dove. And I don't know if you've seen that, but there's a scene where a guy falls off the horse and gets eaten up by all these water moccasins. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Oh, I haven't seen that. What's that about? It's a great Western series. Well, it's an old movie. And Robert Duvall, Tommy Lee Jones. That's great. Yeah. So I go, I'm trying to get away from it. And my friend throws a rock at the snake, which I thought for sure was going to send in my way. Yeah. And it swam the other way.

And it was like, I mean, yeah, Chambers County. And it was so great that I got away. And then we swam off the rest of the day. We didn't even. It didn't bother you. We're just getting some old footage from Dusty. There he is. Wow, this is amazing. I had no idea this existed. Yeah, there's some footage from the 1960s. Ripville, Chambers County, Alabama. I was out there in the 90s. Yeah, same look. It probably looks the same. Yeah, Ripville.

Same look, same mindset. Yeah, there it is. Oh, man. That's amazing. That's pretty great. There you go. That's big. Yeah. Wolf attack. If a wolf attacks you, you should avoid showing your teeth.

Why? They see that as a threat, like you're growling at them. Well, it's already attacking. It's a Joe Zimmerman joke. Well... He talks about it. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I should say a wolf encounter. Excuse me. Oh, okay. A wolf encounter. Avoid showing your teeth. Lower your head and bow slightly. The wolf will see this as a submissive and non-threatening behavior. So they're a breeze to get around. He goes, go ahead. Go ahead.

It says, head for a fire. Wolves hate fire and smoky campfire will discourage a wolf from coming near you. You have to find a fire. Or a solo stove. You're in trouble. Yeah. I don't even find a fire. You have to find a fire quick. Yeah. Wait a second. Can I make a fire real quick? Hold on. Hold on. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Wolves. Yeah. I don't know. I don't even. Yeah. I mean, I get nervous around people's dogs that are nice.

Yeah. I mean, so. And dogs are just wolves. Yeah. At the end of the day. Yeah. It says. The last thing I want is to fight a wolf. Some biologists recommend making. No matter how you cut it. Dogs, a wolf. Now there was a guy. There was a guy in 2005 who got a wolf in a headlock.

and held him down before a group of coworkers showed up to help chase him away. The guy? They like the wolf better. Fred's annoying. Wait, I missed it. I was watching footage of Ripville. There was, in 2005, a guy in Canada got attacked by a wolf, and he got the wolf in a headlock, and he held him down in a headlock before his coworkers showed up and helped chase, I assume, the wolf away. Oh, yeah. Not the guy. Okay.

And some biologists say make a fist with your hand and shove it down the wolf's throat to prevent it from biting you. Oh, yeah. Well. It should be easy, right? I mean, you got to, yeah. I mean, I guess somebody. Shove your fist down the throat. Somebody probably tried to punch a wolf. Yeah. Missed. That's not bad. Like, just think about that with a bear. Like, it's like he's biting your arm. Go all the way in. And he's going to be like. My buddy told me. It's like going to the dentist. He doesn't.

He gags and he's like, well, it's like, what's wrong with you? Don't, no, don't do that. Oh dude. You're supposed to enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah. My buddy told me if a dog attacks, you punch it in the nose. Dogs hate that. And I was like, oh yeah. But like, like anything loves it, you know what I mean? Well, they always say that about sharks, punch a shark in the nose, but tough to punch in the water. Slow. Yeah. Yeah.

This says it's better to punch them in the gills. Yeah. Because that's their soft spot. And they can smell...

or pee from a mile away. So try not to do either of those in the ocean. I don't know. I thought they told you to pee yourself. That's the only reason I get in the ocean. To scare them off? To pee and bleed? Yeah. You've never heard that? I haven't. You've never heard to pee yourself if a shark comes? Uh-uh. I think that's just what you do. Yeah. I mean, Henry Cho has a joke about that. I've never heard that. That's one of the...

I thought that was common knowledge. I mean, it's wrong, apparently. We would go to the beach and drink all day, and then when we needed to pee, we'd go out and get in the water for a little bit. It says women who are menstruating should stay on the beach. So, no. That's good advice. I think that's good advice for swimming altogether. Yeah. Don't pee in the water either. Yeah. I think we're all doing it. Yeah. It is great. I went to a public pool at a hotel recently. Yeah.

I was just thinking about that the whole time. There's probably so much pee in this. If there's kids in the pool, I don't even get in there. But it's the coring for it. At what point do you stop caring? In my whole life. If the pool were as big as this, you care if somebody pees in a hot tub and you're sitting in a hot tub? Doesn't that feel weird to you? Uh...

Out of all the things I get weirded out by, I don't... I mean, it feels weird if you were like, yeah, if you talked about it... If you break it down, I'm sitting in a small tub with a stranger's pee all over me. I think there's a lot of stuff that you do with a lot of... But what if you're friends? Even weirder somehow. Yeah. You prefer a stranger. Yeah.

Hot tub with a stranger is weird pee or no pee. I was in a hot tub one time just by myself, hanging out, having a good time. And then a guy comes and I think, well, he's not going to get in because that'd be weird. And then he got in.

Yeah. How long did you sit there with him? I had to stay long enough to make it seem like I didn't get out because he got in. Right. But I got out pretty quick. It is tough. If you're going to go to the hot tub at a hotel, if someone's in it, it's the rules. You're out. We were in one somewhere, and there was three or four of us. It was a big hot tub, but this dude came and got in, too, with us. There was three or four of us together. That's usually enough to...

Wore off people just because out of the pure, like, I'm not going to see these bunch of dudes hanging out. And this guy, I mean, did not care. Came in. Some men have a very loose, like, like, you know, you go to the men's bathroom and like the, you know, just releasing gas from the, like they act like some of you, like, I mean, you're all not any of you prop, like they're real, just wild animals. Yeah.

that you want to go in and go, could we, we're like, let's tighten up a little bit. Like that's, it's not, don't act, you know, just like standing at the urinal, just letting it rip. Yeah. And I mean, look, I get, sometimes it's accident. I get, I understand the whole logic is behind the whole system, but some of them like these dudes, they act like finally get a break for these. You're like, even if it was me and you hanging, I would want you to calm it down. Yeah.

What do you think I enjoy? People you know, you guys go to the bathroom and they're like, oh, yeah. But it's like you go to a sporting event, you walk in the bathroom, it looks like it's Neanderthals. Oh, yeah. Neanderthals, is that what you said? But they go in there and you want to go like, hey, man, I still don't. It's not like we're like, huh, finally dudes get to hang out together. You're like, just chill it out. Totally. Totally.

Go to the family restroom. Yeah, I've been to sporting events where the stalls had no doors on them. Oh, yeah. So there's just dudes in there just... I mean, I get it. You got to go, you got to go. But why does the venue not put up some doors? It's like, have some respect for us as ticket buyers. Well, but the people that would use those have no... They just don't care. I mean, they just don't... There's no concept of...

You know, older people, I understand. I think the older, it's hard. They almost don't even know what's happening. But, like, when it's the younger, like, you see some guys in there, and it's like a, you know, you're like, what are you doing, dude? Like, how? Calm it down. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've been to bathrooms that say... One, I think in Auburn, a long time ago, it had... It was like a round urinal where...

You all just stand around in a circle. At the football, like a stadium? Yeah. Like a fountain in the middle? Yeah, well, what's like, you know, there's a thing in the middle, but then the urinal just goes all the way around. Oh, yeah. So you're just like standing across from a guy, just peeing there and there. Yeah. So we, Eric, my barber and fitness trainer, just took a picture. That's not a urinal. That's where people wash their hands. Dead serious. He had a...

Eric, everybody was peeing in it when I was there. Did you go first? Go look at Instagram. Eric Miller. This would have been years ago. Huh? This would have been years ago. Yeah. So he put, he put something on this thing went super viral. Do you know what it is? Eric? Yeah. Maybe Eric Ray Miller. And it went viral, like on his Instagram on the reels or something. They're like, and it was, it was, he said, he pointed to these journals look weird.

in Canada. And it was like that. But it was... Yeah. It's going to take a minute. Yeah, we're going to have to find it. But it's... And he posted it and it went... And it went like super viral. So, I mean, what if you were not using a... Like it was like a soap thing? Yeah, I mean, that could be possible. I mean, none of us were probably interested in washing our hands. Yeah. Yeah, I think... There it is. Weird things in Canada. I mean, I've peed in quite a few sinks. Community urinals. Is this...

Dusty, is this what the urinal that you were peeing in is? Press play on that for Eric. What is it? Eric.Nash. EricRay.Nash. EricRay.Nash. I used to live in a two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment. And when I used to drink, if I had to pee and my roommate was in the bathroom, I would just sneak and pee in the kitchen sink. Yeah. All the time. That seems crazy. So is that why you were using that thing right there? Let's see. You see it in the back?

I feel like it was bigger, but yeah, maybe. Yeah, but that thing, that gets millions and millions of views. Yeah. Like he did it as a real- 250,000 likes. Yeah. The look you gave me when I said I would pee in the kitchen saying, I wouldn't pee on the dishes. I'd aim for the drink. Oh, you wouldn't move the dishes out. You're a gentleman. Come on now. Yeah, so that's the other, because I don't think-

Yeah, y'all, you should have had urinals like that. Yeah, that could have been it. I mean, we could have just all been peeing. Well, those old, especially SEC football stadiums. Did you always think it was weird when you washed your hands? You're like, why do I got to put my hand against the sink wall to wash it? Yeah, yeah. So it's a urinal just to turn up. But you go to these urinals, you're like, I tell you what, those urinals, that bathroom's very strange.

Urinals, you're facing everybody. And then you go wash your hands in the, it's a very large sink and you go wash your hands over there and you have to rub the sink to get the water. Have

Have y'all ever seen something like that? There's no soap. There's no soap? You know where they put the soap? In the bottom. At the urinal. You have to walk away from it to get the water going. You gotta go walk away. You gotta go, excuse me, guys peeing. You gotta go, excuse me, do you mind if I get some soap? What do you then pee in? They have soap. You maybe fill it up there. Yeah. There have been cases of

of them cutting sharks open and finding animal attacks, human remains. We got so far. I know. Yeah. Uh, finding human remains in sharks. And you remember, did you guys ever see the movie open water? Yeah. That's based on a true story. Yeah. Uh,

about a couple from US and they were in Australia scuba diving and they miscounted the number of scuba divers. So when they came up, boat was gone. Yeah. And they died out at sea. Well, they don't know what happened to them. They never found them.

So they miscounted. Some people thought they faked their death. Oh, really? Yeah. They went to court and sued this tour company and the court company was like, how do we know they didn't fake their death? The guy had written something in his journal about some weird stuff, but, um, but they lost the case. I mean, uh, the tour company did lose the case and they've had to change their way of. So wait, did they win? Did someone get money?

I think the family of the victims. Yeah. Yeah, the tour company. Yeah, that's a good. You're like in court. You miscounted and you're like, I think they faked their death. Yeah. Honestly. I mean, yeah, we left them. There's no body. Yeah, they faked their death. Why did I hear a jet ski coming up? Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Just sitting right when he leaves. Y'all go down. Don't come back up. I'll drive out. I'll get you.

We'll sue this company. Y'all swear y'all gonna be in the same spot? He dropped y'all. They don't know how oceans work. I went back and looked. They weren't there where they said they weren't gonna be. Among apes, chimpanzees are much meaner than gorillas. That's the Boo Weekly story.

That was orangutan. Oh, orangutan. He fought. But chimpanzees will just, you know, they'll rip your face off. Eat your fingers, they say. They'll eat your fingers. So they said, hide your fingers. There was a chimp named, they called him Saddam, and he terrorized a village in Uganda. Was grabbing kids and taking them away and killed like two kids and attacked seven others. Wow. When was that? In the 90s, mid-90s, it says.

Yeah, I mean, people loved it. Like, they used to love to, like, try to get monkeys as pets, and then you would see these videos of when animals attack, and monkeys would just eat them up. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. They're four times stronger than humans. Monkeys seem the hardest to fight. Mm-hmm. Did you know the gorilla was thought to be, like, Bigfoot until the early 1900s? Yeah, I did hear that. Yeah. Yeah.

That's why I'm saying, if you didn't know that the gorilla was a real animal until the 1900s, who knows what else is out there? What if it is the Bigfoot? It might be. And then it's like, we just called it gorilla and you're like, no, it's here. Because it could be like, well, they're not out there. And you're like, oh, you're seeing them all the time. And then you're like, yeah, do they figure it out? There's been a couple of cases of children falling in a zoo entrapment with a gorilla.

And, you know, they've had to euthanize the gorilla. Yeah, Harambe. Harambe was the most well-known one, and it was dragging the kid around. Is that the one that was also holding it like a baby? I think so at one point, yeah. So they weren't sure what its intentions were, but obviously they had to kill it. Well, people got very upset that they killed it. Euthanasia always sounds pleasant. Yeah. It's not a good, tough one.

What do you mean? The word sounds like it's a pleasant thing? I always think youth in Asia is what I think. But then, yeah, like they go, we got a youth...

euthanize. What do they say? Euthanize. Euthanize or euthanasia. They say it and you're like, oh, that's good. And then it's like, oh, no, no, no. It's not good. You're like, why? What happened? Are you going to go hiking in Oregon? Yeah, I think so. We haven't looked it up. So Bigfoot, you got to watch out for Bigfoots there. Oh, that's the big sighting. That's the number two state next to Washington as far as Bigfoot sightings. They also say there's like a lot of caves in Oregon. Like,

there's some caves you can visit that they say used to be used for, I don't know, trafficking. You know what I mean? Like, I don't remember. What kind of trafficking? I don't remember the full thing now. I read it while I was in Portland. They were like, you should go check this out. And then I never did, but I remember reading about it. They had some caves in Portland. Yeah. Pretty famous that you can go tour. Okay. I think they used to. People were doing bad things in them. I don't know if it were bad, but they were transporting people for whatever reason. Sounds bad. Yeah. It doesn't sound good.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, probably not. Anytime you're transporting people, probably not good. Probably not good intentions behind it. Yeah. Probably, like you say, the heart's not in it. The heart's not in it. Yeah. No, the heart's in it at the beginning, but then it gets slipped. Yeah. The purpose. Yeah, their social credit score got low. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, very low. They're like, you got to take the caves now. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll go check those caves out again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think Tennessee is supposed to have a lot of caves too. The most caves. Is it? In any state. Yeah, we learned that. That's right. Yeah. Okay, wow. Because Kentucky is always bragging about theirs. I know. And they barely have any. You have one.

There's some caves near my land. It's a mammoth cave, though. It's a big one. It's pretty big. Yeah. There's some caves near my land out there that you can go. Some caverns that you can go look at. Oh, really? I've not been there, but... Are they like... Oh, like it's like tours go there or something? Yeah. Yeah, you're not... Concerts there. You're not far from Fall Creek Falls. I don't think... I think that's what it is. Okay. Oh, that's like a main thing. Yeah. It's like...

Maybe that's it. You said it like, yeah. Maybe that's not it. My house is a place that's got some animals. Yeah, yeah. Where is it? The zoo? Nashville Zoo. They have a bunch of animals over there. You talking about the regular zoo, dude? Because that's... Yeah, right by me, dude. There's a pool. There's a pool. What is it? It's a lake. There's a lake over... There's a lake over there. And people fishing it. Old Hickory Lake. You talking about the lake we all live near, dude? I guess...

Fall, cream, fall. I don't know if that's what it is now, but it, you know, there's a sign for it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's not,

It's not a hidden thing. Well, I thought it sounded like a hidden thing. It sounded like, yeah, yeah, we got this hidden treasure. There is a little cave-like structure on my land. Yeah, there is, yeah. That there's a little dirt pile that I kind of want to dig out to see if there's a door in there. I don't think there is, but I want to dig it out. Just see what's going on. I walk around this park every night. Oh, yeah, nice little park. Yeah, Yellowstone. Yeah.

Oh, the main big part. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The main big part. Yeah, you've heard of it. You've heard of it. Yeah. I know this ditch out in Arizona. Yeah. Yeah. Huge ditch. Huge ditch.

Really huge. You don't want to get in. Oh, can you get in it? It's hard. You got to hike down. It's the Grand Canyon. Some people think there are pyramids out at the Grand Canyon. Do they? Yeah. Who thinks this? A lot of people think that. There's pyramids out there. We can go there. It's not like it's... I'm just saying. Where? Down at the bottom of the canyon? Yeah. All right. It's going to come up. Yeah. Why would they be... Yeah, who...

Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, some of the rock formations. Look like triangles? A triangle? Looks like a pyramid to me. They say some people believe that the water level was much higher at some point. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. That's what caused. Well, that's what they say. This river over millions of years carved through the rocks. But my question is, why have not all the rivers carved Grand Canyons then?

You know what I mean? Only just the one, the Mississippi River, not carved into canyons. It's not low enough yet. Yeah. Oh, it's already at the bottom is what you're saying. Well, yeah. I mean, it's just like- Well, they had a much bigger river. The Grand Canyon, their river. Bigger than the Mississippi River? Well, apparently, it carved the Grand Canyon. I just don't believe it. Yeah, I don't believe it. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

What's it carved? Where did that water go? We got one river that's carved all this time. This is not the only place where erosion has happened in the world, though. Yeah, but to that extent.

But there is a creek at the bottom. But would it not be grand? There's a river at the bottom. Even if it didn't carve it, even if it were just naturally formed that way, it would still be grand. Oh, of course. Yeah, I don't think you'd put it together. But the selling point is that if it was like, hey, there's never been a river here, you'd be like, I don't know if I'm going to waste my time.

But if you go, there's a river here. But I think just the, the, the depth of it is like worth seeing. Yeah. Of course. Even if it happened in one day. Yeah. You know? Oh yeah. Still special. Yeah. Yeah. It's still grand. Yeah, totally. They, all that water came out. Look at that pyramid right there. Yeah. That's where the. Just saying, think about it. That's where the water would have been to that point. Yeah. And then, you know, uh,

you know phoenix is is in arizona near that and then you have like phoenicia is egypt right yeah oh yeah you know i mean that's all there's some dots connected do you think egyptians built that well you know maybe all in this flew over yeah i mean it's not my theory you know what i mean i didn't come up with it i read something about it a long time you're just adding to it yeah yeah uh

So I like everything. Like I, this is not my thing. I'm just a part of this group and we're, we're exploring. You just got to look into it. You know, I like it. I can't be the sole source from this material. That's true. I like, I never heard of this. It's fun. Yeah, it's fun. It's super fun. And I, I like it. Yeah. I mean, there could be, they say, some people say there's caves out there that we don't know about and who knows what's going on. There's like all these underground highways, uh,

You know, so, and they exist. It's not even hidden. The highways. We're just not allowed to drive on them. Oh, really? Yeah, there's like highways where trucks can go, enter in, and just drive, you know, for, I mean, and those are out there, too. Where are those at? I don't know. Where there's mountains. But when you say trucks, any truck driver could...

I don't know if it's any truck driver, if you're specifically on that route. It's one with... It's hard. It's not in the right place. Yes. Yeah. I mean, who knows what's going on there? Okay. But there's plenty of videos out there about it. But look at this. What is that? Who knows? Ancient pyramids of Arizona. That is crazy. There's windows. I think that's where the Pueblo Indians...

built huts right after they built their pyramids yeah oh they yeah they built their hut there and then that's a lot to build with on a rock cliff yeah cliff dweller yeah it is that's what they were cliff yeah i think i mean i think that's what there are a group of native americans called cliff dwellers and they would build stuff like that in the side of cliffs oh so think about it yeah think about it you know i mean who are those cliff dwellers yeah exactly you know what were they up to what were they up to did they build pyramids did they drive a truck

Yeah. They could be driving trucks now. You ever see people, you go, how'd you beat me here? Everybody has someone that they go, how did you beat me? Right.

Maybe they're driving through the map. That could be it. A lot quicker. Tennessee has the most caves. You got to have a highway. You got to have a highway underneath there. Actually, where I'm buying, where I'm getting the cabin from in Tennessee, out towards Memphis, I don't know what, but on the way back on this back road, there is a...

a little cat now it's got a fence around it so you can't get up in there but there's a cabin with a huge or a mountain with a huge like dugout thing where clearly people are going in there with cars i don't know maybe they're mining but it's huge you should check it out the gate was open last time yeah and hannah would not let me go in there yeah i wanted to check it out yeah

We didn't, but I really want to just go like, oh, what's going on here? Get out of here. What are you doing? I just want to play real country. Just be like, well, I was just driving through and...

I thought, well, come up here and go fix this door. Yeah. Barry Sanders. Yes, Barry Sanders could be. Barry Sanders. Is Barry Sanders a yak? That's a yak drunk? Barry Sanders is the best player that ever existed. New York Jets. He could tackle a bear, though, Barry Sanders. Yeah. I mean, dude's a lion already, you know what I mean? Yeah. All right, now. Come on, now. That was nice. Is that it? Yeah. That's it. All right. We...

I will, if you listen to this, so I was told this day, we will be, if you listen to this, next week, we are off. We are going on vacation with my family. I didn't know we were going to be off. I found all this out today. But we got a new best of that Bates has put together. Year two. Year two of best of. Nice. And so we're going to release the year two of best of next

And so you got something, uh, to see. And, uh, then we'll move back the week after that, back from a vacation. It'll be great. And, uh, or wherever, whatever you guys are doing, everybody's probably on the road or doing stuff and I'll be in Hawaii, do shows in Hawaii. Come check those out. And then, uh, yeah. And then August, uh, back out and then we'll be back and running. Uh, and y'all have stuff. Yeah. July 31st. I'm in Fort mill, South Carolina. Uh,

at LifePoint Church doing a show for adoption to help families with adoption expenses there. Nice. Yep. I'm in Phoenix, Arizona, CB Live, then I'm at the Dania Improv in Dania Beach, Florida, and then Arlington Draft House in Arlington, Virginia, August 12th and 13th. Based on how I think this is coming out, I'll be at the Toledo Funny Bone, and then the next week, the Pittsburgh Improv. There you go.

So it's going to be great. It's going to be great. Thank you. We love you as always. And look, don't... Do whatever you want when you get with a bear. Don't come here for... Actual advice. Always remember. But I... Is it...

do what you think they tell you to do, but it's a lot more fun to talk about running from a bear. Always remember that. And I'd still maybe run from it. All right. We love you. We'll see you next week. All right. See you. Best of next week. Week after that. Hope you guys are having a great summer. See you soon. Nate land is produced by Nate land productions and by me, Nate Bargetti and my wife, Laura on the all things comedy network.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.