#111 Colorado
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Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. You know, this is it. Yeah. Where were you this weekend? I was, it was a long, I went to Austin, Texas. I had like a private gig there. And then I did Rogan. Nice. Went and did Rogan's show. Rogan's new hour is very good. I was telling you that earlier. His new hour is great.

And it was fun to get to watch that. I'd like to him just run it. And because he's about to tape it, I think, or he is taping or something. I don't know. But it's very, very good. And then so, yeah, I was in Austin and then we went to Big Cedar Lodge. Stop because we drove from Austin to Wisconsin Dells.

And so that's like 18 hours. Wow. And so we stopped in Big Cedar Lodge, which is in Branson. And I golfed there. And then we went and then drove there. Is that where we played once before? Yeah. Yeah. Played this Ozark. That place is awesome. Yeah. That was before I started playing golf.

So I just sat alone that whole day. Oh, yeah. Was that what you were talking about? Yeah. On the drive-in tour? Yeah, Nick rode around a cart with us. You didn't drive around a cart with us? No. Yeah. No, I sat on the bus all day. I think I played 36 that day. I love how you make sitting alone all day seem so sad. I mean, that's my dream. I didn't mean to make it sound quite that sad. No, it was sad. It's more about my regret and wishing I had taken advantage of that opportunity. No, it was sad. Okay. We had fun. Yeah.

You hang out with the ladies back at the clubhouse. Dang, I love sitting alone all day. You would like a big seat at this place. Have you heard of that? No. It's big lakes. Yeah, I like that. A lot of boating. We did the rope.

Like, you know, you do the rope thing where you go, there's three levels and you're tied in and you got to walk across. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we did that. Oh, yeah. I'd be into that. Yeah. It does not seem high. When you're on the ground, you're like, yeah, it's not going to be bad. And then you get up there, you're like, it is hot. What's that called? Just like a high ropes course? Yeah. Ropes course or something. Yeah. And it's very hot.

Like, are you like doing the tightrope, walking a tightrope? Yeah. Like you can fall, but you're tied up. Well, yeah, you're tied up to this thing. But it's, yeah, it's pretty crazy. I mean, you just end up higher than you think. You slip, but you're trusting that they've done a good job. I trust that these kids know what they're doing. Yeah, that they weren't just hired that day or about to quit. Oh, yeah. To reach notice. It's very much like a...

the feel there is like, it's kids that are in school and they're just, you know, they're about to start back to school. And, you know, uh, there's always like a girl talking to the guys that's not working there. She's on the outside of the fence and they, and they talk as they tie you up into the thing. And he's, he's just repeating the lines, you know, just whatever monotone going through the motions, going through the motions. And so, yeah, you definitely do check a little bit older. You get, you're like, I remember how much I didn't pay attention at that age. I,

I didn't have people's lives in my hands. I was at Six Flags one time and you do that spaceship that goes around and it would usually go around like it goes up and then it comes down and then eventually it goes over and it goes over like three times. I remember the guy seemed mad when we got in the spaceship and we went over like six times. Oh,

I was like, all right, let's go ahead and wrap this up. He got it going. Yeah, I was like, I'm about done with this. You're saying he cranked it up just to spite you guys? I think he was just mad and didn't care and was just not paying attention. I would hope that they wouldn't have a speed button on it. It would just be- Me too. Moment, you're like, this is all it can do. It should be one setting. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, that'd be crazy if they're like, no, we let the guy-

fill it out. Maybe we got some... If you don't like them. Maybe it's too light, folks, but I got a little couple bigger folks up there, so we got to get a little swinging it back. That's why I don't like a county fair. I feel like a state fair, it's a little better. But a county fair, it's like, that guy could have been on a bender for all I know. They're setting it up. Almost like the government is aware of a state fair. So you're like, at least they're scared that someone's going to show up

and check them. But a county fair, you're like, I don't know if no one knows you here. The mayor of that town might not know you here. No one even knows what's going on with that county. Yeah. I mean, they're just like, yeah, you can set up some stuff. Wilson County Fair, we go to

I hear a lot about that. Is that good? It's so good that they've now combined with the Tennessee State Fair. That's the same thing now. Yeah, you know what? I was saying that. I only go to county fairs. Well, you can go there, but riding the rides is one thing. Yeah, Wilson County Fair is coming up. I'm sure the fairy ghost is okay. I think we go every year. What is it, Fairy Floss? Yeah. Oh, yeah, Fairy Floss. Wilson County Fair is great. I think it's going on now, isn't it?

Yeah, we might be going. I feel like there's a day we all go, or my family goes. But yeah, we go. We'll sky fairs. I mean, that's what it's about, dude. Me and Aaron did a fair someplace in Washington. About 10 people came to the show. Puyallup. Yeah, Puyallup, Washington. About 10 people came. Where was the show? Was it on like a- Huge-

Like all the chairs were taken out of the arena. It was just a huge dirt field and then just endless amounts of stands out there. Wow. There's about 10 people out there, maybe 10 on the field. We had a great, and then just, you know, a hundred yard gap in between. You know what, Dusty? I was in Seattle last weekend and somebody who was at that show came to see me at the club. All right. They said they were one of the people that walked down from the stands and stood right in front of the stage. True fans. That's true fans. True fan base.

Do you ever get invited to golf? I've been invited before. But you just don't do it? No.

I actually met Jamie Johnson at the Opry and I think he was, I don't know if he was going to invite me, but he goes, you ever golf? And then I made jokes about golf for about five minutes. And then later it was revealed to me that he owns some golf courses. And I was like, oh, might've missed an opportunity. To get into it. To hang with Jamie Johnson. Yeah. But it would, I don't know. I'd like to hang with him, but in a different fashion.

Yeah, Frisbee golf. Yeah, exactly. It'd be better. Yeah, where were we all at? I was with Leanne Morgan in Davenport, Iowa and Omaha, Nebraska. Excuse my voice. Clear it out. You get it cleared out on the air. I know. Can't get rid of it. All those cigars. Cigars with Leanne? The runner, the lady picked us up at the hotel to take us to and from the

theater would not let me sit in the back when we came out and she kind of gets out and helps lean with her and gets and then i'm getting in the back on the other side she's like no you sit up front i'm like oh no i'm with her i'm on the show and then she looked at me she's like no you just sit up there with me so she wouldn't let me sit in the back so i just rode this old lady up i don't think she believed me that i was like a comedian on the show well maybe that lady was into you

No, she was not into me. It's funny, Leanne didn't fight for you at all. No. At that moment, she's like, yeah, you should shut up. We were both a little scared of her, I think. Why? Was it like an SUV? No, it was just the old lady's car. Yeah. And she had the windows down on each side, and Leanne's in the back, fixed up. And she said, would you mind rolling up the windows so my hair doesn't go crazy? And she didn't seem happy about it, but she pushed the button.

Raise Leanne's side. Yeah, people that like their windows down, I think like their windows down. Oh, yeah. They don't want to be messed. Like, I've gotten cars, because it's a pretty bold statement to, if you're taking something that you don't really know and your windows are down, that's a very much, well, this is my car, and so you're going to deal with how I, you know. Like, usually, you kind of feel out what's going on. It's like with the radio, too.

You get in a car and someone just has a radio up super loud. And you're like, okay, I guess we're just doing this. And then they just will talk to you. And you're like, I can barely hear you. It's a pretty bold statement. Windows down is even bigger. Right, right, right. Because it's just that affects. Especially if they keep wanting to talk to you. It's like, well, let's not add a noise machine in between here. And they'll talk while sitting straight. And it's like a hassle to listen.

Yeah, I don't. Yeah, it is. Yeah, windows down is. Yeah, it's funny. I think they do it. Uber drivers do it to save on gas. That's why they have the windows down. Because they don't crank up the AC. Yeah, rather than run the air conditioner. Yeah. Never works quite as good as the AC, though. No. How much are you really saving? Not that much. I don't think you can be saving much. No. Maybe aerodynamically, you're even slowing it down. Maybe the wind's getting trapped. Probably increases the drag. Yeah. Yeah.

We do a physics episode. We'll dive into that. Yeah. Yeah. You believe in aerodynamics? Nah. Yeah.

This conversation. Let's not get carried away. Yeah. I'm just trying to make conversation here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in Columbus, Ohio Thursday, and then Arlington, Virginia Friday and Saturday. I had my buddy Chance Willie with me. I was going to get y'all's opinion on this. We had to share a hotel room in Arlington. I had never done this before, but we instituted a policy that if you have to use the bathroom, you do it in the lobby.

Like if you have to blow it up, you mean? Well, if you have to really get into it. Yeah. You go down to the lobby, and that changed everything. I didn't even mind sharing a hotel room with somebody. It was like livable the whole time. Do you know what I mean? Not knowing that. Yeah, I would like that. I would get that. I'm thinking of doing that just when I'm alone in a hotel. Just having that policy. Just keep the room nice the whole time. Now, I believe Caleb Elliott, when he was on, he said you guys did something similar.

Well, I think I use that. I would use the bathroom. What do you mean? I don't know. Same thing works. Well, that's funny, Aaron, because I think you've said this before and you do it every time. Go ahead, Aaron.

I think with Caleb, it was like something we figured out throughout the weekend. This was the first time stepping in. This was before we opened the door. I mean, we opened the door. I go, Chance, this is how it's going to work. Yeah. Okay, see that bathroom? That's for brushing your teeth, and that's it. Oh, not even, not one or two. We don't need to get too specific about what happened. Well, that's what I, I mean, I agree with the number two. Like, don't blow it up in here. But, I mean, if you got to pee, let's just go for it in the bathroom. Well, I think he's allowing that.

Yeah, I'll allow it. He said it's just for brushing your teeth. If you need to shower, you bathe off in the lobby. I think it's just get, you know. You get a rag and you go down to the lobby. Aaron starts. There's a fountain outside. We will not use the bathroom at all. Matter of fact, if it locks from the inside, let's go ahead and lock it. Yeah.

I remember one time, I think I was in D.C. and Laura was with us and I had a bathroom door that I couldn't get open because it was like when it got wet, it's like the door would get stuck and it locked from inside. And I mean, I about had, you know. A problem. Yeah, you started going, and it's just immediate. Just like, I mean, I'm going to knock this door down. Yeah. That's what's about to happen.

I think it's good to know that for people that go open for you, that your headlining mode is, you got some rules. Yeah. I mean, just to get started off on the headline part of your career and you're already like, this is how it's about to be. Two things. You're not going to get your own hotel. You're not going to get your own room. We're not going to waste money on your hotel and you'll go sleep in the car. I'll call you when I would like company and then I'll tell you when I'm done with company and I go, I'm done with company now.

And that's what you say to them. And that's how they know. I want to say he probably benefited from this policy more than I did. Yeah. You know, I don't think he fought it. He was all for it. He was on board with it. Listen, kid, I'm going to do you a favor. I've been in this game for a long time. Yeah.

I know my body. Okay, buddy. You don't want to be a part of this because when I go, it's quiet. It's usually at night. It's very quiet. You hear everything. You don't even go in the day when there's traffic. It's always two in the morning, it's the

It's the most quiet when you hear just a door shut down, five doors. And I leave the door open so it doesn't build up. That's right. Yeah, I don't turn the air on either. Yeah, you don't want it building up. You got to run water. That's when you got to run. Turn the shower on. Turn the shower on. Hey, I'm going to shower for about 45 minutes. And just so you're aware, when I come out, you're going to be like, did you shower? And I'm like, yeah, I got redressed and dried off all in there.

Someone asked with your long flight last week from Seattle where you had to divert and all that, did you use the airplane bathroom? I didn't. Not a single time. What? Yeah. And you were on the plane for like a long time. Yeah, about seven hours. Didn't pee or anything? No. I had to. Wow. I had to pretty bad.

But I thought, I can do this. I can make it. I'll pee twice on a plane just because. Just for fun? Yeah. I mean, I'll sit down. I'll go, well, as soon as we take off, I'm going to go ahead and pee. Yeah.

I had a window seat. I didn't want to make these people, you know. It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. Bottle it up. Just bottle it up. Yeah. Enjoy it. Enjoy it while it lasts. You'll get older. I like to wait until they break out their laptop, hook up headphones, pull down the tray. I go, you mind if I get up here? Yeah. As soon as they get all situated. Get their coffee. I go, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But you're right. I can feel it. I can feel my stamina fading with that. Yeah. Already. So. Yeah. It's hard. I'm trying to enjoy it while I can. Yeah.

You were somewhere. I was at home. My mom came up though. And my mom brought a couple of middle school yearbooks. And I don't know if you've looked at a middle school yearbook in a while, but I looked at two of them. It brought back memories. It was like time travel for me. And then I had a dream that I went back to school. Wow. It's blowing my mind.

I went back to school. I was like who I am now. And then I guess the other kids were grown too, but we were still like accepting that. But I was myself now. I felt like I was much cooler. And I don't mean cool like, you know, I don't know, whoever a cool person is. You're a little more opinionated in science class. Yeah. Yes. Right. Exactly. Yeah. But I...

But I mean, I was just like, hey, how you guys doing? You know, not like, you know, oh, it's first day. I got to make an impression. That's when we landed on the moon. Right. Yeah. Just old Dusty goes in. Young Dusty just let stuff slide. Yeah. The Dusty now would be. Yeah. Young Dusty was just believing it. But now I'm like, oh, no.

Yeah. I'm in the office getting in, I'm in trouble. Oh yeah. But I found in the yearbook where I had wrote down that certain teachers were nice, nice

And then I wrote one lunch lady was nice. I don't remember her and I don't know what the lunch lady did for me, but I noted that she was nice. You signed your own yearbook. Yeah. You made notes about everybody in your, I had quite a few notes in there. That's what your yearbook son. He goes, look, I mean, all these people signed it. It's all just dusty said handwriting. I wrote what girls were hot. I wrote one girl needed to brush her teeth. Uh,

Some girls were, okay. They're kind of a manifesto. I don't know if that's, I think this all kind of makes sense now. Yeah. Yeah, it's coming together. It's coming together. We're piece by piece. It was shocking to me to read, honestly. Yeah.

Yeah, check in with that girl with the brushed teeth. I will check in with her. How you doing? I'll look her up on Facebook, just see how it's going. Mm-hmm. You know? Check in on the girls that are okay. That's such a funny review. She smells. She's hot. She's all right. But even like, I know we're all kids, but some of the girls I listed as fine, I was like, are we sure about that? You know what I mean? Like, I was like, what was your taste at back then? Opelika, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah. Did you look at them? Well, you know, I'm looking at them, but I'm also like, well, they're, you know, what, 12. So it's tough to, it's a tough call to make. I was also 12 at the time. Did you go look anybody up? No, no, not now. My wife was home and my mom was there. I thought, well, let's not go look them up right now. Let's just talk about that on a podcast. Yeah. And my wife listens to it. She'll, she'll listen to it. Yeah. Yeah. But she read the, she saw the yearbook too.

She may be filing divorce papers right now. I don't know. Yeah. We'll go find out. Yeah. Well, we're about to read these comments. Let's see. This one of the comments is her. Josh Oakley. I've listened to every episode of this podcast. I've never heard Dave respond more quickly or confidently about anything than when he confirmed that McDonald's does still, in fact, use plastic straws. It's true. You know your stuff. I didn't know that.

Well, I don't want misinformation on here. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, when you know something, you know something. Don't be quiet about it. Don't be. I don't want people not going to McDonald's because they don't believe in the product. Yeah, right. We're doing good things at McDonald's. Jonathan Parker. Yee-yee is a country term used to express excitement or happiness. Coined by country music artist Granger Smith.

Yee Yee has since been marketed by the band selling merchandise such as t-shirts, flags, decals, etc. What else is etc.? That's kind of all of it, right? Yeah, I mean, what else? Selling merchandise such as t-shirts, flags, decals. I mean, take a look. They've got beef jerky. Oh. Yee Yee Jerky. Yee Yee Jerky. That doesn't sound like some jerky I want.

I'd never heard yee yee until somebody yelled it out at a show. Yee yee. Were you going to make some t-shirts? No, no. I don't know. Yee yee, we had a good time at one show that I did saying yee yee, but I'm done with it, I think. Yeah, that was a fun time, but now it's kind of a wrap. Yeah.

It's a great, Yee Yee's a great name for merchandise. It is. Haybear has its own merchandise. Oh, yeah? Yeah. There's a website, Haybear, and it's just hat, shirts, all that stuff. Like just a company. I think so, yeah. We should have got in on that. I know. Yee Yee Chewing Tobacco. It seemed like that was one of those hats. That seemed like, that second hat there, that seems like a chewing tobacco brand.

I think it's maybe designed to look like that logo a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. Well, that's what it seems like you do when you chew tobacco, you spit like that's like, yeah. Yeah. Nathan McCarter, Illinois, Illinois, Illinois had to delay large lottery payouts just five years ago due to budget reasons, but they eventually resumed. There are no cases of lotteries defaulting, but theoretically it is possible. Even Illinois,

Having to delay them is enough. That's insane. You're like, oh, well, but I was supposed to be getting it. It's like, well, we're having some budget. That would make me then go, I should have done the buyout. Even if there's no cases of it, you're just like... The idea that you buy the ticket and that money piles up from the tickets being purchased and then that's the pot you win, there should be no issue with the money. Yeah.

Somebody's out here spending money, spending that lottery pot. Yeah. Jeez. Just the disappointment. Lauren Takazagulu. No. Takazagulu. Takazagulu. That feels made up just to trip you up. It does. That's why I laugh. Yeah. Yeah.

Go with the first name Laura and that last name T-O-K-G-O-Z-O-G-L-U and just go, we're going to name her Laura. Or maybe she married into it. Oh, she might have. That's got to be an interesting family reunion. The Smiths and the Tuckavallulas. As someone who has been selling memorabilia and collectibles on eBay for 23 years, I was very excited to see this week's topic. I did some quick research and those silver spoons under Aaron's

couch could be worth tens of thousands of dollars it's good to know that's why we keep them safe under the couch if somebody broke in you'd never think to look there now they would but before good thing you don't have a joke where you give away your parents home address oh man i do do that but i i lie about a valuable spoons would you quit the podcast if you became rich from these spoons

No. Or would you just stick around? If you got $10,000 from the Supreme, would that be enough to walk away? If I got $10,000, I'd divorce my wife, I'd leave town, get a new car. There was an episode of Sopranos where one of the guys had a relative die and left him just a fortune.

And he could get out. And his wife wanted him to get out. But Tony was like, no, you're in this business for life. And even though he could just be a multimillionaire living for free, he couldn't leave the family business. So this is, yeah, this is like the mafia. It's similar. Yeah, very similar. Yep. Can't leave. Yeah. Jimmy Crowther. Crowther. Back in third grade, one of my classmates was Michael Irvin's youngest son.

We went on a school field trip, and I won some bouncy balls from Little Machine. His son told me he would trade me two autographed cards of his dad if I gave him the bouncy balls, which was a no-brainer. Years later, I was cleaning out my room and found those cards again, only to realize that the signatures on the cards were clearly written by a third grader that had just learned cursive. If his son ever makes it big, I guess there'd be worth something, but I think I lost that trade. Isn't his son playing?

Michael Irvin's son? I don't know. It feels like somebody would buy that card. They're like, listen, this is not signed by Michael Irvin, but it is signed by Michael Irvin's son. In a fraud situation. Yeah, yeah. It would be great if Michael Irvin's son's like, well, I still have those bouncy balls. And you're like, wow, that guy is... When he takes something, he takes something. Yes. Yeah. Michael Irvin Jr. played college football.

Michael Irvin II, but it's not like this was another son of his. Okay. Way to get to the bottom of that. His youngest son. I don't have his FBI file. You know, I can't pull up that much information. I want to see everything. Where are these bouncy balls at?

Chris Chaldon. When I was younger, I asked my grandma to give me the Superman comic book that came out right after the death of Superman. It was called Funeral for a Friend and had Superman flying towards the sun. I thought it'd be worth something someday and was excited to get a copy. Imagine my disappointment when I opened it up on Christmas and written in black permanent marker across the sun was Chris. Thanks, Grandma. Wow. Is that worth something now?

I looked. I don't think it is. There it is. It's kind of a cool piece of history if you're into comic books. It's funny to just imagine Chris written. That was the end of Superman? Like the grandma had so many comic books that she was just like, well, this one's for Chris.

All these others, I have these spoken for. It's a great spot to sign it. It is. This might have been before Post-it notes. Is the idea that they wanted to be done with Superman and then they just brought him back?

Well, I have maybe a comic book superhero episode coming up that I thought we could talk about. But yeah, I mean, he got so powerful and they just ran out of ideas. So they're like, let's kill him for a while just to get drama excitement. And then they're like, well, we need him back. So then they come up with a reason to bring him back to life. How did he die? Old age? No. Good night, dude. No. This was even in...

That wasn't a dumb guess. That's the only thing we know that hurts him. Well, I know Dusty knows because Dusty's into this stuff, right? Well, I don't know. I mean, I never liked Superman, to be honest. You're just a Marvel guy. Yeah, Superman, it's like, it's so boring. He's like, oh, I got all the powers. Yeah. Well, that's why I'm wondering how he died. Lex Luthor created a... Gene Hackman. Yeah.

Doomsday killed him. It was a creature that was created by Lex Luthor that was equally powerful, I guess. Oh, wow. And Superman saved the world, but died in the process. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. At least in the movie version. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That was a long way to...

I feel like get to the bottom of it. Yeah. Jared Showerman. Can't wait for that Superman episode. Jared. All right, we won't do that one. Comic books. No, I bet comic books will be fun. Yeah, they will be. Anyway. Jared Showerman. I grew up in the Northwest and was a huge Kenny Griffey Jr. fan. I went to a card show in 1990 where he was signing autographs. I recently sent in two different autographed rookie cards to PSA for grading, and they came back stuck.

Well, they came back stating that autographs were of questionable authenticity and they could not be graded. I was there when he signed them. Not sure what this does to the value of these cards, but I still love them for sentimental reasons. It's kind of a fun story. Wow. It is kind of fun. And they do look kind of, I don't know. Oh, you think Jared did it? No, I believe him, but it's not like they're pristine looking autographs.

Yeah, imagine Ken Griffey Jr. just having a rough day. Yeah. I mean, all that matters. It's like if the guy, you know, you got to imagine the signatures are always going to be different. I mean, I think I've signed or I've had to sign a bunch of stuff and sometimes it's just different. You're going to mess up. It's not like you're just a robot. I'll forget my last name. I'll be like,

Yeah. Yeah. And then some are like, it looks like, it's like I'm really drawing it out. Some are just in print. Yeah. Some are just, you're like, yeah, we know exactly who it is. Yeah, yeah. And then some are, you're just like, ah, I forgot everything. I always have trouble with Nathaniel. I have to autograph Nathaniel. You do your whole name? Well, that's for like. Oh, like checks. Business ventures. Yeah, actual. Cursive all together is hard for me. I wouldn't do it, but Laura makes me do it.

She'll be like, this one's Nathaniel. I'm like, well, why can't I just do the other one? She makes me do Nathaniel, and there's a few. This is an H and an L that comes later that you always forget about. Hs are tough. Yeah. Well, cursive is tough. The L comes back at the end. Because you just get going, and you get momentum, and it gets away from you. I got Ys in my name. Cursive Y is tough. So my signature is just a scribble. Yeah. Well, yeah.

When they go, what's the name say? And you go, Dusty. They're like, oh, okay. Makes sense now. Exactly. Yeah. Neoma Walker. We were big Braves fans and have several autographed baseballs. One day the dog walker came and couldn't find the dog's ball to play with. So she picked up a baseball to play with the dog. Unfortunately, the ball she picked up,

Off the shelf was an autographed Freddie Freeman ball. As you can see, the ball is messed up and Freddie's autograph is not recognizable. Good night. That is Torah. It looks like a paper mache ball. That's like, it's very, I don't know. I guess the dog walker's young. But there is times you're like, what are you thinking? Right. You just, who thinks, well, I don't know where a ball is. I'd want to know what their regular ball is, if it's a baseball. Do you ever throw a baseball with a dog?

This is more of a tennis ball situation. Usually a tennis ball, but... And where was the ball? I mean, was the ball in a trophy case? And the dog walker thought, you know what? This is probably where they keep the dog's balls. In these glass cases. With a name written on it. Context clues. It's next to a bunch of balls in cases. I bet they won't mind. It's their favorite dog. I would imagine they think, if you're a dog walker and you're going to throw balls, you would just say...

Always ask yourself, have I ever thrown this kind of ball to a dog before? And if your answer is no, then maybe move on. There's a lot of times you get caught in a situation where you think, this is going to be the first time I'm doing this. Is this the right? Should I be doing it this way? But I understand how you could also be like, yeah, I think it's. Because you're scared they're going to be like, of course you can throw these baseballs. Yeah, and you look like an idiot asking. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, better look like an idiot, though, than like a vandalizer. It almost feels like a Freddie Freeman spy. We got to get rid of these balls. Well, he had a whole thing when he's with the Dodgers now. Yeah. And his agent didn't tell him. And then he doesn't want to be at the Dodgers, it seems. Yeah. It's kind of crazy. It seems like a mess. It seems like a real big mess. Yeah. And he just wants to be there. And yeah. It all started with this.

That baseball. Maybe get him to sign it back. Sign that exact ball. Mike Monaco. Thought I would share some ancient Roman silver coins that I collect. None is particularly valuable or rare, but this picture shows the faces of each coin, top row, and their reverses, bottom row. These are four of the 12 emperors of Rome who ruled between 44 B.C. and 96 A.D.,

The one on the far left is Emperor Tiberius, who ruled during the time of Jesus. It's extraordinarily unlikely, but there's a vanishingly small chance that this very coin was tossed from the tables of the money changers in the temple by Jesus himself. I'm sure it wasn't, but I like to think it was. Maybe it was. Maybe it was. Yeah, I think it'd be worth something. Yeah, I'd say you just leave it at that. None of those are not really worth anything.

I think he said from like $100 to $400. That's pretty good. But I would have thought they'd been worth a lot more than that. I guess stuff, what can stuff be worth? I mean, it's, you know, in your head, you're like, if it's not worth a million dollars, you're like, then it's not worth anything.

Yeah, it's only worth really what people will give you for it, too. Like, if you think you got a collectible thing, I guess if you think it's $10,000, you know, if it was like thousands of dollars, but it seems like it's worth $300, you're kind of like, oh. I mean, if you put it on eBay and said this was a coin tossed by Jesus from the table, somebody will buy it. You go, look, I can't prove it wasn't. Right. Just throwing that out there. This could have been one of the coins Judas used. Yeah. To pay him off. But that would be...

Would that not be like our coins now being like this might have been one of the coins in a president's pocket of all our coins? Yeah. So the odds of that would be extremely low. I think we have a lot more coins now than they did then. Yeah. Yeah, the odds are extremely low, but it's not zero. It's not zero. Okay. There's a non-zero chance. You could sell a regular quarter and be like, this quarter has been in the hands of every celebrity that's ever lived. Yeah. Yeah.

Could have been. And probably has been in somebody's. I mean, coins get passed around for years all over the country. Somebody famous has probably had it. But then they might go, well, so my coin might be like that. Yeah, so why do I need yours? Yeah, and you go, uh-huh. That's a good point. That is a good point. You just hope that they're not smart enough to counter back with that. But wanting a coin like that. Yeah. Seems unlikely. Colin Nordstrom.

Nordstrom money. My sophomore year at Ole Miss, 2014. Man, I got into that sentence. It keeps going.

Sophomore year at Ole Miss. 2014, we upset number one Alabama. Students stormed the field and tore down the goalposts. They then carried them out of the stadium, threw out the streets of Oxford, making their way to the town square and into different homes. A guy I was living with at the time somehow ended up with a long piece of one of the goalposts. Being the guy he was, he cut pieces for all of us, so we all ended up with a piece of history. That's pretty awesome. Yeah, that's cool.

So there you go. You did something similar with Vanderbilt. Yeah, I carried one out. We gave it to – when Vanderbilt beat South Carolina for the first SEC win, we tried to go tear down the goal post. And they said Titans are – because the Titans were just coming here and they go, we have a Titans game tomorrow so you can't. And we said, okay. There was like one guy. That's how little –

That's how dominant, a little of a force we had going into here. One guy was like, no, Titans are playing tomorrow. We go, yeah, it's understandable. And then we left. That feels like a real intellectual mob. We're like, we're going to get this. And then he goes, I can't. Yeah, they're like, that's reasonable. Yeah, he goes, Titans are playing tomorrow. You know, it's good the Titans are here. So I agree. We're going to wait. Good game though, huh? The next week we beat Duke.

We beat Duke and went and tore them down after we beat Duke. Everybody check the Titans schedule. I mean, honestly, now we might tear them down if we beat Duke. Yeah. But back then it was like Duke was awful. And so they beat them down. I tore them down. I had a picture of it, like a real – like someone took a real picture and it was like carrying out a jersey on. And then I remember we carried – you carry it out, you don't really know where you're going. And then we went to a frat house and they said, just put it in the yard. Like they were –

Like it was like they bought it off eBay and then they just dropped in the yard and we go, all right, we dropped in the yard and then I walked back to my car, went home. Yeah. That was it. There's no, once you get it down. Yeah. There's not, you could, I can tell you.

From experience, if you're tearing a goalpost down, once you get it down, go ahead and start walking in the car. I don't think there's not much that's going to be happening after that. Yeah, what really is your plan after this? Your plan after that is you're a mover for somebody. Unless you're the one that's leading it to the house, you are just a mover.

Yeah. And, and like, and not, I mean, and no offense to Ole Miss, but it's like, you have this piece of the goalpost and you're like, and somebody's like, Oh, what's this from? And they're like, Oh yeah, we beat Alabama in 2014. You're like, Oh, you won the championship.

No, no, no. I mean, we beat them just regular season. Well, yeah. Alabama's Goliath. Yeah. But it's like... I mean, I have a piece of turf up there from Vanderbilt. I mean, we had a lot of stuff happen on that turf. Yeah. A lot of big wins. A lot of big wins. What would it take for Notre Dame to tear down goalposts? Have they ever done it? No, not that I know of. Because you've always been good. And I've stormed the field maybe three times.

When I was there. Twice by yourself and once with others? No, with the crowd. It's a big wins, man. And no, I was never talked about to take the goalpost down. I don't know. I don't know why we didn't. It's got four. It's got two things. It's hard. Looks like an H.

You have an old goal post. I just had a picture of another name's goal post for some reason in my head. It's like that age, the old school age. Yeah, ours is still on the goal line too. Yeah, and you're like, it's just a whole. I was to it quicker than I thought, and then I just was like, I'm not ready for this. Still on the goal line. That's how you moved it back. They were like, actually, do rip it up, but just move it back to there. It's crazy they used to play football with the goal post on the field. You watch old footage, you're like, someone's going to die. But they did it.

There's a metal pole in the middle of the field. It's crazy. It is crazy. I agree, but it's funny. You do always think that. That's like the idea of it. You're like, well, someone's going to die, and you're like, but no one did. Yeah. And then you're like, well, they didn't wear helmets, and you're like, and everybody was fine. They were safer without helmets. Yeah. Which was the irony. There's a lot of stuff like that where you ride. It's like you're wearing...

but you do I mean I do it with Harper she's gonna wear a helmet everywhere and but you do think like I never wore a helmet no I don't even know if you could buy a helmet and you know seatbelts like all this stuff now and you're like we were fine yeah yeah it is you know

I bet somebody twisted their ankle pretty bad on that goal post. No, no. I bet someone ran into you. I mean, I bet people. Yeah. It does seem insane. I agree. But people are so strong now playing football that they're like, it's getting hit by one of those guys is like worse than running into a goal post. Yeah, they're so big now. I mean.

It's unbelievable. I used to like to watch big hits, but now when I see big hits, I'm like, I just feel bad for the guy. It's a lot. Dang, man. Guys are getting so big and strong. I watched some of the Yankees Red Sox play last night. You just seem like Aaron Judge up to bat. Aaron Judge is a freak, man. Yeah, you're like, this guy. 6'7". Yeah. Looks like a comic book hero. Yeah, he's on pace to...

at least Roger Maris' home run record. Oh, is he? I think so. I feel like we should talk about that more. I haven't heard that at all. It'll start to heat up pretty. I mean, he's almost at 50. And I don't think he's going to catch Barry Bonds or maybe even McGuire, but technically he should be steroid free, right? Right. But he's so big, I feel like you'd still be like, I don't know, this guy's just a giant. Well, there's going to be a lot of pressure on him because it'll be the first clean breaking the record.

And Tatis is one of the biggest stars of the league. He just got caught with steroids like a couple days ago. Yeah, they could still catch Aaron. They could. That's why it's a lot of pressure. You hope he's clean. Larry Miller Jr.,

The photo for Mark Jackson's basketball card was taken with the Mendez brothers sitting courtside in the background. Apparently, the photo was taken after they had already murdered their parents. Wow. That's insane. Menendez, yeah. Menendez. Just sitting right there. How did they get courtside? From the insurance policy from their dead parents. Are you serious? Wow. I think so. That's why they killed them to protect themselves.

Get that big insurance. To go to this game. So they already got the insurance policy? Yeah, I think so. I definitely think the murder had already happened. And they've already been paid out. Yeah, I can't swear they used that money for those courtside seats. Well, they knew. They were like, we're about to get paid. Let's go ahead and splurge on these tickets. That's always fascinating to see a picture like this.

To me, it's just how different lives are. Like in this little picture, you're like, oh, it's about Mark Jackson. And then you look at everybody and you're like, those two guys just did. They just killed someone. I don't think anyone noticed this until many years later. I think it was just a few years ago when someone spotted them. Man. Was this a high-profile case at the time? Yeah. I think so. I don't know much about it. I need to watch...

Isn't there a show about it? There's a documentary or something. Yeah, I need to watch it because I don't really know anything about it. I'd say, yeah, if you just committed a murder, maybe don't go and sit courtside at a game. I don't think you're in the right. If you're in a murdering mindset, I don't think you're... You got to cheer yourself up. Yeah. Yeah.

Go catch a game, Aaron. My gosh, your parents just died, Aaron. Have some sympathy. Yeah, give them a break. Stay home. You're right. You're right. You're right. You got to live life. You got to get out. I feel like there was a case a few years ago where a guy was charged with murder or accused and they spotted him at a Dodgers game. He proved he wasn't there because he was at a Dodgers game. Do you remember this? Yeah, there's a documentary about it on Netflix. Kirby Enthusiasm. Yeah. It was in the show. Mm-hmm.

He's an extra in the show. Or he's like someone just walking down. At Dodger Stadium. Wow. There's a documentary about that on Netflix. Really? Yeah. It's a short one. Maybe this was their alibi. And they were like, oh, no, this is a different day. And they were like, ah. Yeah. Yeah, he goes, no, we were there. And he goes, that's funny because, yeah, the date of the guy.

You get it. I really checked out on that joke. Yeah. I think I was like looking at it all and I was like, I don't think you really got anything here, bud. Yeah.

Well, that... It happens, you know? Your NASCAR photo. Maybe there's somebody in that photo that'll get charged with a crime. Well, a couple of guys identified themselves. They have not confessed to a crime, but they did identify themselves. Did they? Yeah. Oh, wow. I posted a pic, yeah, and people were like... No, we talked about it on this podcast. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Some people said that's me. Yeah, you told us that then. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. I looked them up. So we'll see if... Yeah, they could have committed a crime. Yeah. I mean, the odds of...

Just where that picture was taken, I'd imagine someone did. Probably a lot of those people. I've committed some crimes since that photo. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think. I mean, not heavy ones, but there. I think the police are aware of most of the people in that picture. Yeah. They're on the list. Adam Meriden. Meridian. Meriden. David Wells bought a game-used Babe Ruth Yankees hat for $35,000 against Joe Torre's explicit warning

Wells wore it in one inning in a game against Cleveland in 1997 and was fined $2,500 by the team. He paid the fine in $1 bills. In 2012, Wells put the hat in an auction that was featuring other Babe Ruth memorabilia. The hat, now game-worn by two Yankee legends, one a Hall of Famer and the other having pitched a perfect game, went on to sell for $537,000.

Wow. Crazy. That's, yeah. Yeah. It's the story. I don't think more than David Wells wearing that. It's the fact that it's David Wells and the story and that Joe Torre is like, do not wear that.

You know, it's like that probably would. Yeah, I read this article. Joe Torre was watching him. And so when he warmed up, he wore his regular hat. He said Joe Torre kept looking at his hat. And he's like, well, see, my regular hat. And then right before he went out, he went in the locker room, put on the Babe Ruth hat, which I think there's a picture of it, and told Derek Jeter and

I hate Jorge Posada. You guys go on out because when you guys run out, they'll play music. Everybody will be distracted, and then I'm going to go out there. And he did. He pitched one, and there's the hat. There it is. Looks like it's from a different era. Looks like George Costanza trying to get fired. Why did Joe Torre care so much? I just think he knows it's against our team policy, and it's almost like your boss is going to get mad at you for allowing one of your players to do something. Yeah.

That's cool. Yeah, that makes the story. So he picks the perfect game with the hat, or is this just a different time? No, that would have been unbelievable. That hat might be a million dollars. He had one perfect game. He was hungover when he pitched it. Yeah, he was hungover. Yeah, it's a big, famous story. All right. It's a disaster. She gets some prime real estate. Yeah, she gets the angel at the top. Yeah, yeah. I get put in the back, in the corner. A little macaroni necklace. Aaron bought us this outlet.

He goes to plug that it goes in there and painted it at school.

So that all to say, thank you for these. Yeah. This week. Very nice. So this week. Back on the states. Back on the states. People love the states. It's been a while since we've done one. That's nice. Yeah. I don't think Dusty's done one with us since Alabama. Yeah, only the Alabama episode. So this week we're doing Colorado. All right. What a great state. That is a good state. Easiest to draw. Most sunshine of all states. Is that right? Yeah.

More than Florida? Mm-hmm. Did they just get the sunshine state? They got it first, huh? Yeah. I mean, I'm saying this. I've been told by people in Colorado. I don't know if I've ever looked it up professionally. Colorado is such a beautiful state. I've drove all around Colorado. It's so nice. Colorado's awesome. Yeah. But yeah, I think they get the most sunshine. I think it's over 300 some days. I read that Denver has more sunny days than San Diego or some other sunny city you would think about. It was like 300 days out of the year.

Something like that. Yeah, that's exactly what I just... I don't know if it's the sunniest state. Mile high up there, right up in the sun. Right up in the sun. Yeah, you're way up there. Yeah. You're above the clouds. Yep. A lot of people... Clouds are on the streets. Yeah.

It's a foggy place. It's a foggy city, yeah. A lot of sun and fog all at the same time. It's just the clouds. Now, you said it's the easiest to draw because it's basically... It's a square. Yeah. Not a square, but a rectangle. It's one of three states that they did the borders just by latitude and longitude. There's no geographical border. Tennessee to the west, the Mississippi River, they just drew some lines. Yeah. They go, that's enough. That's enough. Yeah. Yeah.

They had it appointed to go. That's about right. Yep. The first time I drove into Colorado, though, I came in and it just seemed like kind of like Bear Mountains and some trailers out on there. I was like, oh, okay. This is your people. Yeah, I'm right at home here. When I drove cross country, when I moved from New York to LA, Louis Katz rode with me. And Louis was, he ended up having to leave at Denver. We drove like the top part of the US border.

uh you know you go to pennsylvania you go through like all it's not a lot going on and but it was the point of it was to drive through denver then kind of come out you know look at the utah uh i thought i went through why man i didn't go through wyoming i thought i did go through wyoming but i guess why would i went up there i went that yeah i went denver to utah now did you take i-40 the whole way

uh i don't i don't think it's lower i guess go through wyoming to hit salt lake city there i've done salt lake city into wyoming before yeah why did i yeah i didn't pay attention but it's such a beautiful drive it is really yeah and so i went to yeah that was the whole point of the drive was to go through that yeah and i remember going to those bounds i remember one one place

I stopped. I was going to stop. It was like you had to cross a mountain, and I was going to stop and stay at a hotel, but it said there was a storm coming in. So it was like, you need to go now or you're going to possibly not be able to get over there until whenever. Wow. And then I went up and over it, and then there was no – I mean, it wasn't like there was a snowstorm where I was. It was just like up there there was. So I went there, went back down.

I went to Colorado for the first time in May, and I had heard about elevation sickness when you get there, about how the altitude will mess with you. Altitude sickness, not elevation sickness. I don't know. I don't know if there's a difference, but it hit me, dude. Not right away, but that night, I was like, I do not feel good.

I had never felt that before. Boulder was like that for me. I got very lightheaded. I was on stage, very lightheaded. I had two shows. And then I told people after the show that I was lightheaded. And they were like, oh, you just got to drink water. And I pounded like four or five waters. Felt great. Oh, yeah? Yeah. So they're serious about the water. Oh, yeah. You can hit a golf ball a mile, which is nice.

Oh, that's interesting. I hadn't thought about that. So when you go play in Colorado, I mean, you're just smashing balls. Talk about that with the Rocky Stadium, too, is the balls do travel farther there. Yeah. And even kicking field goals. Oh, that's interesting. At Malha Stadium, because the air is lighter. Yeah. So, like, how much further could you drive a ball, do you think? I think you're over 300, I mean, 320. I mean, how much more than what you normally would do? Yeah.

I mean, it could be, I guess, 20, 40 yards. That's substantial. Yeah, as a driver, I'm just so – I mean, I can drive it, but I'm just so inconsistent that I never even – but I mean, I think I can – I hope to be in the 250, 270 range when I drive the ball. So I think you would easily be over three.

Colorado is called the Centennial State because it became a state exactly 100 years after the United States became a country. It became a state in 1876. Denver is the capital. The people there are called Coloradans or Coloradans. Coloradans. Coloradans seems better. That seems the way to go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It got its name from the Colorado... Take your time with it. Trying to think where to go. Yeah. Marty Adler stuff. All right. In summary, it got its name from the Colorado River, which in Spanish, Colorado means colored red. And the Colorado River has a muddy red hue to it. Does that go down into Texas? Become the Red River? Ooh, Red River shootout? The Colorado River...

I was watching 60 Minutes last night, and the Colorado River's gone way down in drought. So there's all those- That's the most Bates thing. You're down there. You were watching 60 Minutes. Yeah. I love it. The Colorado River goes through the Grand Canyon. So it's messing with people's water supply because it's-

There's a drought. There's like a 20-year drought going on. Wow. So you could see the rocks, and they were different colors from where the water level is so much lower. Not a lot of Coors Light coming out this year. Yeah.

It's not as watered down. Yeah. It's more hops. A little hoppy. I met the guy, the Coors guy. The main guy? I was doing a thing in Vegas for the, I don't know, some country music award show. And he was out there. And I don't know why I was still out on stage, but they had me still be out there. You're talking about Sam Elliott?

No, no, like the Coors. Mr. Coors? Yeah, like the Coors. The guy that owns it? Yeah, like the Coors family. Oh, yeah, I thought like, yeah. They probably just assumed you drank it and wanted you to stay out there with them. Well, I've, you know, I've had quite a few Coors Heavies. Was this Joe Coors Jr.? I think it was Joe Coors, yeah. One of them was named Adolph Coors. Yeah, it wasn't Adolph. That's tough. That is very tough. Why would they do that? I think he might have been older than the other guy. Yeah.

Yeah, like see when that guy... Adolph Coors died in 1970. Yeah, so it wasn't... So he was before... Well, when was he born? That's the... Let's look him up. Well, I mean, when did...

Oh, Adolph Coors Sr. He's the guy who founded the Coors Company. He was born in 1847. He died in 1929 before Hitler took over Germany. And he was a German-American, so that was a popular name. It must have been. I think it was like their Joe. You've got to imagine the popularity of that name died off pretty quick, though. Oh, yeah. Is Adolph, it was like that common? It's like a John or it's... Adolph Rupp. Rupp-er-ina. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Was he German? I don't know, but that's the only other Adolf I can think of. Never heard of him. Have you heard of Rupp Arena in Lexington, Kentucky? It's where they play basketball. Well, anyway. Yeah. It's all right. It's all right, dude. It's okay. It's all right. Don't worry about it. We'll get you back on track with this. All right. Okay. Colorado was the first state to approve recreational marijuana shops. They opened their doors January 1st, 2014. It's been that long.

Yeah. They voted for it in 2012, and then I guess January 1st, 2014 is when it went into effect. Okay. Now other states do that too, right? I've done comedy out in some of those places, and it's not as fun as you think it'd be. You would think that people would be laughing a lot, but they're really not. They're just staring at you. Yeah. A deep stare. Yeah.

You got to really get them. You got to really hit them with something spontaneous. You got to snap. You got to do a lot of, hey, wake up. Do comedy up here. Over here, over here. And then they start laughing at that. Yeah. And then you slip in a joke. Yeah. This guy's great. Yeah, exactly. Colorado's the only state to ever reject an Olympics. Wow. The Olympic Committee...

Approved for 1976 Winter Olympics to be held in Denver, but then they had a vote in 1972 and Colorado voters rejected it. I like that about Colorado. Why did they reject it? They said it would be too costly, create pollution, and increase the state's population, which outweighed the potential boom to the economy. I was watching 60 Minutes and they talked about how these places...

No, I think it was Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. But all these cities who have Olympics, they always – it's terrible for the city once the Olympics are over because they spend billions and billions of dollars building all these huge stadiums. But is that even in America? Or is that like other – that's like I know in other countries. Like they go to some town that's – and those they –

get demolished. But I mean, Los Angeles is fine. I guess that's true. And I don't know about Atlanta. Atlanta was fine. I feel like there were stories about Atlanta at first. I mean, it really hurt their budget because they spent so much money on it. I think they put in a lot of toll roads in Atlanta to pay for stuff. And then once they got it paid off, they just kept those toll roads. I bet it stinks if you live there. It's just like years of dealing with it. Bad traffic. That's probably the worst part of it.

But yeah, you're right. I mean, maybe some of these other countries, but they're always major cities that have them, but they spend so much money. And so it's like when you bid on it, so the city has to pay for that for the Olympics to come? I think so. I mean, I'm sure the Olympic Committee, I guess, chips in, but I think, yeah, if you bid to host the Olympics, you're willing to either say, we've got the...

stadiums already or we'll build them by... Because they approve them like 10 years out. Yeah. It just feels good to reject the Olympics. It does. To be like, nah, we're okay. We got our own sports. Especially back then when the Olympics were...

I mean, the Olympics are big now, but they weren't like back then. Right. I feel like they've slowly become where people are like, I don't know. Who cares now? Yeah, they happen. You're not watching it like you were. Usain Bolt was big. Well, now we can watch people on the internet do amazing sports things anytime we want.

We don't need to wait. Yeah, and from all over the world. That's interesting. Whereas the Olympics might have been your only opportunity to see a foreign athlete do anything. I didn't think about that. Now I flip through it on TikTok and go, ah, seen it. Yeah. Seen it. Every, because it's all just, and like, watch this guy run. Yes. And you're like, okay. It's just the idea of you flipping through being unimpressed by everything. So awesome. Ah, seen it. Oh, man.

The whole Olympics. Yeah, yeah. You're just putting down off just, you know. Right. I've heard this with a song behind it. Yeah, exactly. And ironically, the U.S. Olympic Committee is located in Colorado. So they knew. So maybe they give them the heads up. They go, you don't want this. Yeah. Yeah, maybe so. I would...

Yeah, it is interesting to think if they could these states or these, you know, a year, like if your city has to pay for your state has to pay for the Olympics to come. That's a lot on a state. You want to go to the country doesn't like help out or. Yeah, I guess I don't know how all the funding comes, but I think the majority comes from that city or state.

Yeah, it feels good when that like when I lived in Charleston, James Island rejected a new Walmart coming and it just felt like it was like, yeah, we shut them down. Yeah. So the Walmart that was already there had to turn into a super Walmart. They couldn't build a new one. It just felt like such a big move. That's also a win win right there. Well, I was like, nah, you ain't coming here.

I loved it. So they wanted two Walmarts? Well, you know, Walmart likes to, you know, abandon their old building and then just build a new one. Oh. So they were like, no, we can't do that. And I was like, that feels like Colorado rejecting the Olympics. Yeah. On a smaller scale. Yeah, much smaller. Do you like to ski? No. No. I don't know how to ski. I've done it once and I never made it off, like, basically this table.

Colorado is the number one state for skiing. Laura does. Colorado Ski Hall of Fame is in Vail. I did the Aspen Comedy Festival, and you can see the mountain outside of my hotel where people are just skiing down. It seems so fun, but I have no interest. I sledded with some dogs pulling me around. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. You did need to keep that sentence going. Yeah. I thought you were just sledding, which is fun. Yeah. Yeah.

And then you're like, with the dogs, you're like, oh, that's a whole different. Yeah, I had to piece it together as it was coming. Yeah, before that, I was thinking like a trash can lid. Yeah, I've done that. You on the side of a mountain. We used to sled with a four-wheeler. When we'd get snow in Alabama once every five years, we would get the four-wheeler, and then we'd pull each other on any kind of little trash can lid or whatever. A lot of fun. It was a good time. Yeah, homemade sled.

Colorado touches at one point Arizona, New Mexico, and Utah. And so there's a Four Corners monument that you can go to and stand in four states at one time. Yeah. You done that? No, I've heard about it. Here it is right here. It's kind of cool looking. It's sitting in all four states. It's a great scene in Breaking Bad that takes place at that.

Really? Yeah, that's when the wife has kind of figured out what a bad guy her husband is, Skyler, and she goes and she flips a coin and just sees where it lands because she's thinking about where to go. Oh, yeah. It's a cool spot. Better call Saul. Final episodes tonight. Oh, yeah. And I was just in Omaha where Saul's at now. Yeah. The Cinnabon. She didn't want to go too far away. She was like, I got to go to one of the neighboring states. But I'm trying to figure that out here, though. Flip a coin.

Well, it's a good place to do a dramatic illustration of it. It bounces too far to the right, and she goes, Florida? Yeah. It says... Best two out of three. She goes, I was going to drive somewhere. I don't... It's a whole thing. Denver's called the Mile High City because it's exactly one mile above sea level. That worked out. In fact, the 13th step...

The Colorado State Capitol has a plaque. It's 5,280 feet above sea level. So it's a tourist attraction. People go see this step on the state Capitol. To be exactly one mile high. Yeah. When did they, I'm just wondering when they were able to find that out. I understand we have the technology to find it out now, but how did you know? I don't know. I feel like it's been a long time.

Okay. We've known it for a while. I feel like for hundreds of years, they've had a way to know how tall, like the mountains. Think about the... You know how high you go up in the mountain. Yeah, but... But how do you know where sea level's at if the whole thing's above sea level? That's what I'm saying. Where's sea level? And you could just make it up, and who can tell you differently? Mm-hmm. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Is it a constant slope down?

Are we at sea level? The ocean would be sea level. So we're a little bit above it. Yeah. You could be below it, like Death Valley. Death Valley's below sea level. That's why it's so hot, yeah. Oh, because it's hotter in a basement? There's...

We're 102 meters above sea level, which means nothing to me. Yeah, we're at sea level. We're basically at sea level. We're almost 600 feet above sea level. I mean, that's substantial, man. But they're 5,000 feet? Yeah. I mean, they're way higher than us. But if you jumped from here to sea level, you'd get hurt on the way down.

600 feet you'd get you'd die you'd die what if you did the toothpick though I always wonder that if you do toothpick can you just pierce the water and not like if you jumped into water I think you're gonna it's like concrete it's like hidden concrete at some point but just the surface tension really toothpicked it in I think Greg Louganis I think you for sure should try it if someone's fallen I would definitely be like definitely do toothpick yeah but I mean it could be bad yeah

But yeah, give it, or if you want to make sure it's like, then just belly flop it. Yeah. And it's a wrap. You don't have to worry about it. Toothpick. You gotta, you gotta hope it doesn't snap your legs open. If you belly flop at 600 feet though, you hope it kills you. Yeah. It's pretty. Yeah.

Snap your legs open. That's crazy. It'd be hard to time it. Yeah. Because there's no practice. It would just be. You're right. You can't train for this, really. Yeah. And I think you'd be falling so much quicker that it's.

You would just got to really think about it. You got to really, you'd be before you know it, you're just, you're like, oh, I didn't time that. You know? Yeah. How far out would you do the toothpick? I think I would immediately toothpick. Yeah. Once you wrap your head around, like I'm going to land. You don't have time to kill. You're not like, well, you got to get right into it. Let me enjoy this fall for a little bit. Are you going to be back to go fly towards water?

Yeah, I mean, you wouldn't want to just jump off a mountain hoping there's water. Oh, you're talking about a mountain. In my head, I'm picturing an airplane. So, yeah, yeah, you would. Yeah, I guess an airplane would be tough because it's moving. So let's just imagine it's a helicopter that's hovering above water. OK, and it's a calm day at sea. So you don't have to factor in the waves. It's just a helicopter. You go to pick quick.

But if you'd like, I picture the door opens on airplane, you zoom out. So now you're like out, you're out in the air. Yep. And you got to fly towards water. I would feel like you wouldn't want any like wind blowing you. You need to go, because if, you know, like if you're going like this, you're like a, you know, almost like dragging the tip of the toothpick. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You would not want wind going. No, you'd want to go straight down. I think you'd be going pretty quick down. But if you wanted to fly towards water, would you fly? I guess you would do it the way they do it in movies. That's your only. Oh, where they propel themselves? Yeah. They do like that and then start moving your head, lean towards the direction you want to go.

I've read stories about guys that have skydiving in their parachute doesn't. People have survived jumping out of a plane. They land in trees. I mean, they're pretty messed up. There was a woman who survived a plane crash. She fell from a commercial airplane, but she was strapped to her seat and she survived. She crashed in the seatbelt. The seatbelt did it? It does matter. Well, the seat. She was the only one who survived, but she crashed in the Amazon rainforest. She's the only one wearing the seatbelt?

No, I think it's just the only one that worked out for her. Did she make it out of the rainforest? It took her 10 days and she was very, very eaten up and stuff like that and finally found some missionaries. She's still alive. This was like the 1970s and she found some missionaries in rainforest South America. She was able to walk and everything? Yeah, there's pictures of her when they found her, but she saw like

Obviously dead bodies that had fallen that were still strapped to the, I think her name is Julie Kepke or something like that. God, did she go to school with her? I was just reading about it. Good night. She just moved in. To the 60 Minutes piece. I looked her up. That's her right there, Julie. Julie Kepke. Is that Jenny Cash? And she was like, how high up was she?

I mean, it was like 22,000 feet or something. I don't know the altitude. She was struck by lightning and the plane just broke apart midair. So I'll be thinking about that next time I fly, huh? Oh, this is 1971. Well, there's still lightning. Well, she experienced two miraculous survivals, it says. Yeah, well, the rainforest was the other one. Oh, okay. 10 days through the rainforest. And then did it show anything else? Even the animals were like, listen, this lady's been through a lot.

She went back to this forest at some point. Well, they've made movies and documentaries about her. Who took that picture? I think once they found her, then they went back to the crash scene. That's a dead body. No, it's not a dead body. Oh, it's not? She survived this photo where she is relatively unscathed.

I don't know why she's laying. I mean, let's just move on because I don't know the whole story. So she went back and she's like, well, let me show you what I look like. Take a picture of what I looked like when I came out of there. I set up a camera. Yeah. Let me get my arms right. Yeah. This is how I was laying. Fortunately, she knew about the...

Amazon Rainforest. That is a big help. When she was about 14 years old, she spent 18 months living with her parents in a research station that was located not too far from the crash site. Oh, this is her old stomping ground. A lot of holes in history. Yeah, it's starting to get pretty easy now. I fell on top of my neighborhood and close friends, and then we got home. Thankfully, I had a first aid kit with me at the time.

The big help was the person that took the picture also undid me. Now, is that her walking through a stream? This is her walking through a stream, yeah. She had a lot of technology with her on this. Yeah, I wonder who took that. This might be a dramatic reenactment of it. She stepped on a camouflaged snake. Well, she was using her shoe to make sure she didn't. Oh, okay. Oh. We're just throwing out facts, then we catch up with what it actually is. We're reading about it right now. Yeah, that's wild.

See that one, I mean, where do you want to land? Do you got to just land sitting in your seat? How's your back not broke? I guess you just hit trees. I guess your only hope is you hit enough trees and you're faced upward.

And then it's like. Yeah, that's a lot like the Leonard Skinner crash, really. I mean, you know, they crashed into the trees. Few of them survived. Oh, really? Yeah. So the whole band was on the flight? Yeah. I didn't know that. That feels like something you talked about a lot. Yeah. You know, we got to keep it, you know, keep the memory alive. Yeah.

Y'all just were. Every day, you just couldn't. You had the newspapers from that next day. Our own little 60 Minutes. Yeah, that was your own. Well, the tallest point in Tennessee is Clingman's Dome. I think it's about 5,000 or 6,000. I think it's about what Denver is. Oh, I didn't know we had something that high. Yeah, it's a little bit higher, 6,643 feet, a little more than a mile high, Clingman's Dome. Where's that at?

smoky mountains okay it's crazy to think about a whole city being up that high because it's such an anomaly here how tall it is and then they yeah you eat pancakes out there's i mean you ain't gonna go up to cleveland's dome and get pancakes but you can go denver and get all pancakes yeah or denver omelet you can do that you know they tell you if you fall in an elevator we may have talked about this before but you fall in an elevator

You do. You're supposed to do the opposite of a toothpick. If you're in an elevator that's in a free fall, you're supposed to spread out as much as you can to lessen the force. You want to maximize your surface area. We always thought you just jump. Yeah. Last second. Jump. Well, that won't do anything. But it is fun to think about. How would that not do anything? Because you're still going to be moving down at the same speed. But if I go up.

You're going to go up. That's going to lessen your downward speed a little bit, but you're still moving down at a rate that's good. I think that's what Julie did in the plane. Yeah, she jumped right now. Oh, her seatbelt was a little loose. That's why she survived. She was able to jump. Saved her. Yeah.

Just next time you're in a fallen elevator, lay down on the ground. If there's other people on there, tough luck. You get down to the ground first. You get down first. They go, what are you doing? And then watch them all jump. Yeah.

And then they go, the guy on the ground died immediately. Everybody else just walked down. Everybody else is like, I don't even... I didn't even... I still did my errands. That's how unheard I was. But that one guy that put his face on the part that hits the bottom. I mean...

Another guy in the interviews, he goes, I'll be honest with you, I didn't even time it right and I was fine. I tried to jump, but I was like, obviously you can't tell where the bottom's at. But the guy laying down. Yeah, he's like, my leg's a little sore. Yeah, he goes, it's not bad. I mean, why did he lay down? They go, we'll never know. There's a picture and then someone takes a picture of you and just...

Sprawled out. Get down. Just an indention. Get down, everybody. Get down. I mean, just a second. Do you feel, when you're in an elevator, any kind of like boom, boom, do you just go boom? Just, just.

Just immediately go down. What happened? He goes, sorry. That's what you're supposed to do. Thought we were in a free fall here. He goes, you never know. I want to be ready. You got stuck in the elevator recently, didn't you? Yeah, that's what made me look all this up. I go, what can I really do if this ever happens again? Get down. Spread out and get down. Do I trust the science and do that, or do I trust my instincts and try to jump? I guess we'll only find out when it happens. Are there...

people saying that they've done this and survived no i mean there's so few elevator accidents that there's not a lot of data to kind of try this stuff out but but not one or a guy was like i laid down and i was fine yeah maybe maybe but it does make sense what do you think about it if you're just if you try to jump you're you're already moving at the same speed it's not gonna do much you know i mean probably i mean more likely i guess you just were not able to jump yeah

It'd be hard to time it out. It would be hard to time it out. Because you don't know now. Because, I mean, it would be bad if you do it too early and then you land with the elevator. Would the lights still work?

Oh, yeah, you could watch that. But if it's in the 4-3-2-1... Do it one more time. Well, then you jump at one, and then you don't realize it goes B, P-2, P-3. What is that? You get a second jump. Yeah, he goes, this is a party. He goes, jump again. Let me catch my breath. He goes, what's the parking down here? It's like four floors.

You got to really know the old elevators. Yeah. Yeah. Denver, they do, you know, they got a lot of, you know, so depending on, they had a lot of underground. Do they? Oh, yeah. You know, the airport. The airport does. Yeah. They have a whole city under there. They're up to a lot in there. Yeah. Well, there's, Colorado just has a ton of stuff that's the highest this, the highest that. The highest paved road in the U.S., 14,000 feet.

You think that's why they legalized weed so fast? Like just to be a part of the whole highest of everything? That's true. It's a good point. Could be. Could be. Just to play in it. You don't have any facts on that? Yeah, they found their niche. No, I don't. I don't. They were the first to become the highest. Yeah. Rocky Mountain High. John Denver. Yeah. Yeah.

Was his real name Denver? It was not. He was from New Mexico, too. Really? Not even one of Colorado's own. What a fraud. Why did he call himself that? I looked this up last night. He changed his name to John Denver because it was his favorite city when he was like 20. And he got a little money, bought a place out there, fell in love with it, and he just ended up living there. John New Mexico is pretty tough. John Albuquerque. John Albuquerque.

My dad and granddad was named Denver. Their first name? Yeah. Denver Bates? Yeah. I do like that as a first name. Well, John Denver's real last name was Duschendorf. Henry John Duschendorf. Well, you give it to him, Matt. He gets to change it. Yeah, yeah. All right. John Denver, come on, buddy. You're, you know...

I thought he was from like West Virginia because country roads. Yeah, he sang about a lot of places he's not from, huh? Yeah. Apparently country music singers did not like him. Charlie Rich, when he had to announce him as like...

Best Male Vocalist or something burned the sheet of paper where he read his name. He goes, John Denver, and then lights it on fire. On TV? On TV. That's kind of mean. I saw that on that country music documentary that Ken Burns did a couple years ago. Why do they... Well, Charlie Rich was pretty much... You know what? I don't know anything about Ken Burns. I think he's great. Everybody talks about him. Charlie Rich was pretty much banned from country music after that, I think.

I don't know anything about Ken Burns, per se. I know his documentaries. No, but it's like I always hear that. I think I tried to watch one, and I was like, I can't do this. It's a big time commitment, but he makes some great stuff. Baseball, I watch baseball a lot. Yeah.

and it's the baseball documentary yeah i wasn't just changing the subject yeah he's got a whole breakdown of takes it decade by decade about the history of but now it's kind of old right it's awesome it is kind of missing they've done a few updated they've amended a little bit of it and he's still around still yeah ken bird's still around yeah he's got tough haircut

I think John Denver was considered not real country. He's kind of like pop country, and they didn't like him, even back then. Because you would think he's one of them. Yeah. Just the legend. He died in a plane crash too? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I just think it was that they were like, he was singing about being a country boy, but wasn't really. He's from New Mexico. Yeah. His name, yeah. His favorite place is Denver. Yeah.

What was it that they said in Dumb and Dumber when he goes the wrong way and it's just flat land? Didn't he say that John Denver was full of something, man, or something like that? Oh, yeah. That's fun. Yeah. But no, Kim Burns stuff is great. Okay. Tough haircut. No sideburns. You would think last name Burns, you'd at least rock a bit of a sideburn. Do the sideburns. Yeah. Okay. It's much different than I thought. This looks like Henry John Duschendorf. Yeah. Yeah.

It does. Yeah, that's... But he's got a similar... And Ken Burns should be John Denver. Yeah. The song America the Beautiful was written by Catherine Lee Bates, inspired by her views from the top of Pikes Peak, which I've been to up there. And did you write a song when you were up there? No, I still learned to rock and took a picture, but it's one you can drive all the way to the top. So it looks impressive, but you have to do zero work.

Gerald Ford. There's been no presence from Colorado, but Gerald Ford retired to Colorado after he was president. Lived in Vail. In fact, his $13 million. I'll be at Vail this weekend. I will be there. I'll be at Vail, Colorado, Saturday.

at the Gerald Ford Amphitheater. I thought you were talking about sending avails. I'll be availed this weekend. That's what I thought you said too. Oh, no. I'll be in Vail, Colorado this weekend at the Gerald Ford Amphitheater. Wow. It's all coming together. It's all worked out. Yeah. And his chateau that he lived in is now on the market, $13 million. So while you're there, maybe take a tour. I'll take a look. Maybe buy it. Maybe, yeah.

I'll go into it. Yeah. Let's go. I went to the Gerald Ford Presidential Library in Grand Rapids. It's not, you know, every president has their library and his is pretty tough.

If I remember correctly, he's the only one that was never actually elected president. That is 100% the tour you would do. I mean, I love it. The Gerald Ford Presidential Library. It's like, that's another day when I'm sitting alone in the hotel all day. I mean. It was right next to Dr. Grin's down there in downtown Grand Rapids. Yeah. I went there so many times and never. You never thought, let's go to the Gerald Ford Museum? Kind of a...

popular name. I feel like if people named presidents, they would never forget him. Ford. Yeah, like Gerald Ford is... Really? Yeah. Doesn't Kramer have that thing where he says he's got that Gerald Ford right out of there? Or does he say... I don't know. I would have thought the opposite, that Gerald Ford's one you kind of just...

I don't think so. Maybe I know. I thought Gerald Ford, I thought he was. The middle name that doesn't get a lot of respect. Rudolph. Yeah. Gerald Rudolph. Better than Adolph. Yes. This weekend in Omaha, we're like, who's from here? And they said, Gerald Ford. So I guess the guy just got around. Oh, they claim him too. Wait, you were this weekend what? In Omaha. Yeah. And we're like, who famous is from? I mean, I mentioned Warren Buffett, who still lives there. And they said, yeah, Gerald Ford's from here.

He was born in Grand Rapids and died in Grand Rapids. But lived in Colorado for a time. He just went home to die. He must have been buried, but I think his post-presidential life, he lived in Colorado. I could see retiring in Colorado. I always think, like, if I would have started comedy, because Denver had a great comedy scene. I imagine still has a great comedy scene. Yeah, they do. And so I could see you'd be like, go live there. I definitely could see the perks of Colorado. Mm-hmm.

The tire boot, the tire clamp was invented in Denver and sometimes called the Denver boot. I've never heard that, but it started there 20, uh, back in 1955 and they made a ton of money from doing this. They did.

I bet they did. That's something to be hated for. You ever been booted before? Many times. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Well, I lived in Charleston. I lived in an apartment. I didn't have a parking place. I just had to park my car anywhere on the street. So I would drive home drunk a lot and then forget where I parked my car. And then I'd have to go. It either got towed or booted.

I'd have to call my boss. The people usually most upset with the booting are the people that are already doing pretty illegal things. Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, you don't. Yeah, chances are you don't get booted for doing the right thing. Yeah. I mean, I was always in the wrong. Yeah. But come on. Just you got to call a guy and then he's got to come.

Yeah. But would you rather be booted than towed? I think I would be rather booted than towed. Yeah, because towed, you got to be like, I don't know where I'm going to go. It's a real hassle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tow truck companies, never friendly. They're not. So is there a number on the boot? Can you just call it? Yeah, they'll put stuff on your car to let you know that you've been booted and don't drive away because you'll damage your car.

I've been booted so many times. And they'll fine you because if you try to drive away with them, you'll break it. You'll break that. Yeah. And then they can charge you for that too. Oh, yeah. You know, for destruction of property. I have a friend who lives in Donaldson near Donaldson Christian Academy, and he thought it'd be fun to take one of the downtown bird scooters just out there, just to ride around the neighborhood with his buddies, have fun. And then he was going to bring it back downtown, drop it off. And he said he put it in his truck and

And just a little bit after he got out of town, it started beeping and flashing. And they've got all these things set up to keep you from stealing it. Yeah. And it just locks down. Yeah, totally. There are areas like within the city, too. It'll just stop on you. It'll start beeping. Well, we have a friend that rode one to the airport.

Yeah. To the Nashville airport? Yeah. To the Nashville airport. From where? From my place downtown. He was staying with me and he had zero money. Zero money. He stayed out all night and the next morning I got up and I'm like...

He wasn't there. I was like, how'd you get the airport? And he's like, I took a bird scooter. I was drunk and I just rode in on I-40. Wow. Down the interstate. Man, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. That was before all the limits on the scooters. It was. It was a while ago. The outlaw days of the scooters. He sent me a picture of it propped up there. Drop-offs. That's amazing. Yeah.

That's someone that got booted a lot. Yeah. I mean, I love that. I mean, it's a good thing scooters were not around when I was drinking. I would be damaged. Yeah. That's for sure. There was a dentist on the East Coast who moved to Colorado Springs. This is in 1901 to set up a dentist shop. When he got there, he noticed that everyone had really brown, stained teeth. Like, looked like dark chocolate caked on their teeth.

And he was like, why does everyone have this brown stains? But he noticed that tooth decay was not bad at all. Like they had really good, strong teeth, no cavities. And they did some research. It took a long time to fill out. Colorado Springs has so much fluoride in the water that it was preserving their teeth, but it was browning it. And at that time, they didn't know fluoride helped your teeth. So that was the first case of dentists learning that fluoride

It's good for your teeth. But then they had to just regular, they had so much fluoride, it was browning your teeth. Then they just had to learn how to keep it from coloring your teeth, but also helping your enamel. Oh, that's where we figured that out. Yep. All right. Yeah. Well, yeah, totally. I mean, that's what I've heard about fluoride. Yeah.

uh is there crazy stuff about fluoride yeah i mean well yeah i mean a lot of people you know have some thoughts about fluoride i'm not saying i do but they you know they think that fluoride is not good for you oh really it's bad for your brain oh yeah i don't know yeah you know what do i know but i know the dentist used to give me fluoride all the time and i have had so many cavities i mean it is unreal how many cavities i've had like it doesn't protect it

It didn't help my teeth. I mean, maybe I was... I think a little bit on us to do some stuff. Yeah, maybe so, but I mean, my teeth have been brown before too, but not because there was too much fluoride. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean...

I mean, if you go try to buy, can you buy toothpaste without fluoride? You can, yeah. I mean, is that the whole point of it? Because, I mean, they seem like they advertise fluoride a lot. I know. They really push it. Yeah. I feel like it's like deodorant. There are some that are supposedly like that, take out the bad ingredients, but they may not do everything. The Continental Divide goes straight through Colorado, and I didn't even know what that was.

Aaron, tell us what that is. I don't know what it is. It's basically where the Rocky Mountains is. So where water flows downstream from Canada, on the west side of Colorado, that's continental divide. It all will end up in the Pacific Ocean. On the east side, it all ends up eventually in the Atlantic Ocean. Wow. No Gulf of Mexico. Yeah. Well, Gulf of Mexico is part of the Atlantic Ocean. Oh. Although it does look like it just bypasses it there. Yeah.

Yeah, so that goes right through Colorado. So that is the Continental Divide. And they just do it because of that water? They just do what? They call it that because of the water, the Continental Divide? I think so. I mean, to me, it looks like as simple as there's a large mountain range there, so water's either going to flow one way or the other. Yeah, so you think it's dumb. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I do. Mm-hmm.

A third of the land in Colorado is owned by the federal government. A third? Yeah. That's good. That's probably a good thing. Just national parks and stuff? Well, that's what they tell you. I mean, NORAD's there.

What is that? That's the North thing that tracks Santa. Yeah, it is what it is. NORAD stands for North American, what is it? Radar. North American Aerospace Defense Command. And to work there, it's in Colorado Springs. You have to... Where's the R come in? Yeah. That's a good question. They just try to, couldn't say NORAD. That what you said there doesn't say NORAD to me. NORAD.

North American Aerospace Defense Command. North. Oh, okay. North American Aerospace Defense Command. In OR. Oh, in OR. Yeah, and so then they didn't want to do the C. Because NORADC is tough to say. Yeah.

So this thing is buried deep in a mountain for security reasons. So if you work there, you have to take a shuttle bus deep into this mountain. They have all kinds of stuff in there. You can, I mean, people leave, but you can't just leave at work to go run errands. So they have a gym, they have a grocery store. They have all these conveniences deep in this mountain. Cause once you go in,

You're not leaving until it's time to leave. Yeah. You don't just quit that job. Is it? Yeah, I wonder if you had to be. Yeah. You don't just walk out. There's no windows. I'm quitting. Well, you're in the middle of a mountain. Yeah, you got to wait for the shuttle. Right. And before 9-11, you could take tours of it, but since 9-11, you can't. They won't let civilians in there to see what's going on. And there's conspiracy theories that they could have stopped 9-11, but chose not to.

I don't know if they chose not to or they think they were just inadequate. Too far down the mountain, really. They were like, ah, maybe we shouldn't have dug it so deep. You kind of pay attention to what's going on out here. Yeah, it's hard to see. Yeah, yeah. That's true.

You go, oh, you're on the mountain, so you're high, so you can see everything? You go, no, we're inside the mountain. You go, what are you doing? I don't mean to tell you your business, sir, but... Yeah, what are you defending here, yourself? Yeah. What are y'all just hanging out on this mountain, defending the mountain? Are you trying to kill the mountain from the inside? Supposedly, they're going to survive a nuclear attack or anything because they're so deep in this mountain. Good for them. That's convenient. So...

If there's a nuclear attack, go get in a mountain. You don't hear that. Yeah. Go get in a mountain. Go get in a mountain. Yeah. Cave? Yeah. Cave seems dangerous. For a nuclear attack? Yeah. Yeah. You're laying down on an elevator floor, so let's see who makes it. What are you going to do if there's a nuclear attack, you're in an elevator? Do you lay down and try to do the worm? No.

Is that... Because the vibrations... Yeah, you would just go with it. I think that's what I would do. If you told me to lay down another, I would still do the worm right before, you know, basement. I would still go. And then just try to do... Just so I'm at least jumping a little bit. So I get a little bit of both. Yeah, yeah. Bring them both in. Bring them both in. Don't commit to one theory too hard. That's a good compromise.

In the last Indiana Jones movie, he survived a nuclear explosion by climbing into a refrigerator. If it's handy, that's the way to go, really. Refrigerator? I don't know. That's what Indiana Jones is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You said it like you did some research. Well, I mean, they always tell you never to get in the refrigerator. But that one you would want to. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. What are these fridges made out of? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I don't know. I mean, he got blown pretty far if I remember the movie and then lands and opens the refrigerator door. One time there probably was a chance that I could have been a refrigerator repairman. I mean, I was on that path, I think. But I deliver refrigerators. Did you? Mm hmm. So you're the resident expert of the group. That's true. Yeah. What are they made out of? Just something heavy. Yeah. A lot of metal. Not a metal, not nuclear stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe the old refrigerators would have got us through a nuclear attack. The new ones probably. I think the old ones might have caused it. Freon Lake. Yeah. Radiation. Yeah. The Denver airport's the largest airport in the U.S. by landmass, 33,000 acres, has the longest runway in the U.S.,

And some people believe it's home of the New Order and neo-Nazi headquarters, which we've already covered on here. And Blucifer, the Mustang up front, the guy who built it, they fell on him and killed him. So they think it's haunted. They did have like some Egyptian god of death statue out at the airport at one point for a little while. It was a temporary thing, but I thought that was never really a need to have that. Yeah, especially temporary. Yeah.

Yeah, why bring it? Yeah, permanent would be like, all right, well, they're making a statement. I don't know, something. At least you're committing to it. Temporary is like, yeah, what happened? Yeah. Let's see what this does for a little bit. That is a big area. That's very big. Very far from downtown. Mm-hmm. I'm not a big fan of that airport. It's just for how big it is, I feel like it should be more fun to walk around, and it doesn't. It feels very closed.

Like when you go walk around, like it's dark, it's, you know, there's not a ton of light. It's not, you know. Yeah. I didn't have a lot of fun in there. For different reasons. Slow baggage. Oh, okay. A bag. It took so long to come.

Like my nephew who had never flown with me and never flown at all, just did a carry on bag. And I had a checked bag and I felt so stupid. Like I travel all the time. And then I'm there with my nephews. Like I'm ready to go, man. The same one you told, come on, we got to go. Yeah. I had to wait for my bags a long time. Did you tell him this is how it is? Yeah.

I said, this is not normally how it is. I don't know what they're doing out here. Maybe they're all on drugs. I remember making that joke to him. Yeah. So I don't know what's happened. Yeah. I tell you one thing's happened. No bathroom in the hotel. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Now that we have some time to talk, might as well go and lay the land. Yeah, this is for brushing your teeth only. Yeah, yeah. So the Supermax prison is in Colorado where the world's most dangerous criminals are brought, including El Chapo.

It's called Alcatraz of the Rockies. There's 344 inmates there right now. 23 hour a day, confined to a single cell. And if you guys had a choice, would you want your own single cell or would you want a roommate? I'd buy myself. I'll buy myself too. I'd be, yeah. I'd take a roommate. Yeah. Do I get to screen the roommate at all? Do I get to interview him? No. No.

Yeah, give me a single cell. It's not a crazy question. This is a hypothetical. For this hypothetical, no. But you're going to be in there 23 hours a day. Prison terrifies me. Give me a room alone all day. 23 hours a day by myself terrifies me.

I'd like another human being to bounce some ideas off of, ask some questions. I don't know. But you can talk to the guy next to you. I don't want to be in the hole like you see in solitary confinement type thing, but just give me my own cell. Yeah, I can clean it. I can get a little mirror like you see in the movies, and we can hold it out, look at each other, but...

I have some security. I mean, is that a small prison, 344 people? Yeah, I mean. Isn't the Boston Bombers there? Yeah, everybody. At one time, one row they called Bomber's Row because they had Terry Nichols, Oklahoma City bomber, Ramsey Youssef did the World Trade Centers in 93, Eric Rudolph, and Ted Kaczynski, all in the same row.

But the Boston Bomber's there now. It's a really good idea to have all the guys that know how to make bombs right next to each other. I mean, can you imagine if you're the guard there? You probably...

Your opinion probably changed about stuff. I mean, that's some dudes that don't. They're like, let me talk to you while we did this. And you'd be like, yeah, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah. And they've still had murders there. I mean, even though they only get out for one hour a day, there was like a Mexican drug lord that got killed. Not El Chapo, obviously, but some Mexican, you know, that they turned their back for a second and they killed him. That's the sell.

See what it looks like. Got a little bit of a TV there. Oh, that's nice. Got a little window. Kind of half of a twin bed.

TV's really up high. That's rough on the neck. It is tough on the neck. I mean, you talk about you get a roommate. You talk about going to the bathroom. You got your rules, so that's going to be tough on him. What are you going to do then? I mean, listen, a lot of my rules are going to go out the window if I'm in a prison 23 hours. And they go out the most extreme out. Yeah, for sure. I spent one night in a city jail in Opelika, Alabama with three other roommates, and I wish that I was alone in there. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there was two bunk beds and then a little toilet in between us. One guy I kind of knew in there and it was, I was like, I wish I was alone. Yeah. Cause I was like, yeah, I had to, he was talking to me and I was like, I'm ready to get out of here. But what if the other guy was a friend? Does that change it at all? Or would you still rather be alone?

Yeah, if he's your buddy, I guess. Yeah, if the two of you are in prison. I was about to ask the same question. And you have to decide for the rest of your life. You have to decide, are you alone or do you share a prison cell with Bates? I think I'd share. Aw, thank you. You'd be, you know, I don't think you'd make it long. Yeah.

That's true. So you're just playing the odds. Yeah. I mean, what are we talking about? Two, three months tops? Yeah. I mean, he's going to go quick. It's probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me. The worry would be, you know, a lot. It would be. But that would almost calm you down in a way, I bet. Yeah. You'd be like, just chill, dude. We're in prison. We're in prison. Yeah, I'd be talking, you know.

The bathroom thing would be very hard, though. It would be hard. That would be almost enough to make me feel alone. I really think you're underestimating the impact of just months and months and years of not just having conversations with people. That would really mess with you, I think. But you would have conversations. It would just be you could always go on your own. Who are you talking to? I don't know. Me and him are going to be in there talking about Todd Yoder. Vanderbilt Notre Dame scored a touchdown. Yeah.

Remember that one game back in 97? Yeah. Corey Chavis. Yeah, it'd get old quick for sure. Yeah. You'd have to go like, hey, tomorrow, let's just not talk at all. Yeah, but you're talking about you're never going to get out of there. Yes. So it's like you don't need to keep up the social skills.

But it's not, well, that's not the point of having a conversation so that I stay on top of, so that I stay sharp in social situations. Yeah, that's why you want to do it. Because the Webbers can't handle your brain not being used properly. And so y'all, you would like to be challenged. You go, oh, hello, I want somebody to wake up and go, Gerald Ford was the best president we've ever had. You go, I begged a different fine young man. And then y'all...

As you're eating, you're reading an old newspaper because they don't give you. Yeah, I think you'd want to talk to other people. I think we're social creatures. We want to have relationships with other people. If you get an hour a day. Okay. Yeah, there's a chance you're going to get killed in that hour. Yeah. So, yeah, you'll want to stay sharp. They have to stay in the cell for 23 hours? I think so, yeah. And then they. Get one hour of free time.

I think they are incentives to, if you have good behavior that. I mean, imagine one hour of free time and you use that to kill, you know, once you had it for a while, you're just like, might as well do it. Here's the lounge room. This is where you can really make use of that one hour.

I feel like they're allowed to go out there. The people in the thing can go in and out of the cell. I don't think they're locked in that cell for 23 hours. I think you'd be surprised. I think they treat them pretty nice. Since they're confined 23 hours per day in single cells with facilities made of- Well, maybe though, I guess the- The worst of the worst? Yes, the worst of the worst. But all these guys are, yeah. I think you'd want to be in that one. What kind of prison do you think Martha Stewart was in?

Not a hard way. I think it was, yeah, I don't know what she did, but... Insider trading. Yeah. And then they got her. Yeah. But yeah, she had to be in like a decent one. Like, I think there is a, there's some that are like the blue, white collar. Yeah. Yeah, you could make deals and go, hey, can I still go to work? You know, nine to five. Oh. People have done that. Yeah, and then after work, I'll come back to prison. Yeah. What kind of deal is that? That's a...

That sounds like you got to, if you ask a cop if he's a cop, he has to say yes. That's what that sounds like to me. Like you would tell someone that, you know, you could go back to work. You just got to spend the night here. I've been here for 25 years, dude. Why didn't you? You never mentioned that. You never mentioned that I could just roll on out of here.

All right. Is that it? I was going to mention a little bit of Colorado sports. Okay. It's real fast. Yeah. Also, the world's most precise clock is at the University of Colorado. The old record, it would lose a second every 100 million years, but this guy invented one that will lose a second every 15 billion years. Let's talk about the Denver Broncos' greatest quarterback, Tim Tebow. Yeah. All right. We'll move on from clock. How does that guy know –

That guy just, you know. How does he know that it's going to do that? You shot that down quick. I mean, that's a good question. He won. He split $3 million of prize money. I zoned out. My headphone went into a couple of ears, and I lost what was happening. He won the 2022 Breakthrough Prize in Fundamental Physics, and he split a $3 million prize money for developing this clock.

that he says won't lose a second for 15 billion years which is longer than even scientists say the universe has existed but how could he not he could just make the same clock the other guy made and say at least 15 billion and we're not going to know for 15 billion i guess we wouldn't even know for a million like the other guy was like in 10 million years or whatever it was

I think it's the science behind it's totally different. So however he came up with it, yes, no one obviously can prove it's going to do that. But the science they use says it should last that long. He did it in a way no one's ever done it. Now how he did it, I don't know. Something about atoms and vibrating and stuff like that. Some famous... And if apocalypse comes, I mean, then it's going to be like, who cares what time it is. And he's like, but I invented a clock about it. Yeah, that's cool, man.

Oh, I did want to mention this. This is a conspiracy theory. United Airlines flight 585 was going from Denver to Colorado Springs in 1991. Crash killed everyone on board, 25 people on board. So the conspiracy theory was that the pilot and the co-pilot, it was a woman, was having an affair. And the pilot told her on the flight he wanted to end it. And she got so upset that she grabbed an axe, killed him, and then crashed the plane into the ground.

Whoa. Bad timing. That's wild. I got that backwards. He killed her. Oh. And crashed the plane to the ground. Now, they think this rumor, they did research and there was something wrong with the plane, the rudder. They think this rumor was conspiracy theories made up by Boeing themselves. Oh, because they want you to know? Boeing was being sued.

Sure, our plane was messed up, but the pilots were having an affair. Yeah, well, they wouldn't admit their plane was messed up. They're like, no, there's nothing wrong with our planes. They just crashed it on purpose because all these families were suing. So they think Boeing started this conspiracy theory about this affair. Yeah, which is insane. That guy's wife and her husband and, you know.

They now are like, well, did he? Were they having an affair? You're saying it's insane, but you believe that a company would do something like that? I would. Probably now I would. Yeah. I wouldn't have back then, but now I would. Not that I was thinking about it back then. I thought about bowling quite a bit when I was little. So all the major sports teams that are in Denver, Broncos have won eight AFC championships and three Super Bowls.

and shared the record for most Super Bowl losses, five. Tied with the Patriots. You wouldn't have thought that, but they've been so much that they've lost some. So Tim Tebow's your favorite? Well, I just remember those days. I was just drinking heavy, sitting in a bar, watching Tim Tebow win a playoff game against the Steelers.

First play of overtime. Tebow mania. Yeah. I remember, yeah, in my head I always thought Tim Tebow didn't get a fair shot. I was like, yeah, so and so. I always did think that. I was like at Denver, I was like, well, let him try. Yeah. Because it was like the whole time, there's something to be said about the whole time people are telling you you're terrible and that you should be

getting rid of that like that mindset is like well he won and then he went to that and you're like you know because he's like a winner I never liked him as a Florida Gator but in the pros I was I was Tim Tebow but he was a winner at Florida he was a winner his whole life he was he was crushing yeah it may be like that yeah yeah Russell Wilson I remember when

When he played Wisconsin, I remember seeing him. I was like, this guy's just like a winner. Like he's just going to. And now he's the Broncos quarterback. Yeah. Oh, nice. All came around. And a University of Colorado player that we now sponsor in the NFL, Nate Landman. Nate Landman. He had his first game this past weekend.

for the Falcons. And he's an unrestricted free agent, so he's just trying to make the team. Okay. Undrafted free agent, I should say. And I think he led the defense in total plays, total snaps. That's what I'm talking about. So I guess that could be good or bad, that they just keep you out there in the fourth quarter. Is he a quarterback? No. He's a linebacker. Okay. Oh, yeah. Nate Landman. Nate Landman. Yeah, he's got to. We like him. He's got to make it. He's got to make it. What about Bobby Haber?

Remember him? Yeah. Where was he? He was a quarterback in the NFL. Yeah. There's a Seinfeld where George is like Herbert and A-Bear. I think he went by A-Bear, but it's... Yes, I do remember that. Yep. There you go. All right. All right. But I will say that the University of Colorado football team won the national championship in 1996.

They had two things that really went their way. The biggest being the fifth down game. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, that's wild. The refs forgot to change the marker, and they got another down, and they scored a touchdown to win the game because of it. So that's one of the most famous screw-ups in college football. Man, it's crazy to think.

that was, uh, Missouri back then, dude, in the nineties, when I first watched college football, it was like, Missouri was unbelievable. Nebraska was Alabama. Uh, Colorado was like top of SMU. Uh,

Was that kind of after that? Yeah, that's probably – Bates can speak to that. No, in my time, SMU got the death penalty. Right. Yeah. But they were good leading up to that. But that was then they were leading up. They were like the number one. Craig James and all that. Yeah. SMU was before me, but Nebraska – like you don't ever remember Nebraska being good. Like –

I remember Tim Couch. I remember that kind of era. Tim Couch was at Kentucky. Oh, Eric Crouch? Eric Crouch, yeah. I mean, Nebraska was unreal. Back-to-back national championships. I remember them playing Miami in the national championship. And you just think, you go, well, they're never going to be back.

And not saying they're – I don't think they're – they're definitely not where they were. Right. But it's – at that time, you're like, well, I guess just Nebraska will win for the rest of our lives. And then it's so wild that you're like, oh, now there's not even – Tom Osborne was the guy, and when he left, he's just never been the same. Black shirts, isn't that what they used to call Nebraska defense? Because they were that good. I don't know. But anyway, and then Colorado, and then in the Fiesta Bowl, and this is before, obviously, the BCS where –

The Polars just decide who's going to win the national championship as far as who they reward it to. But in the Fiesta Bowl – no, sorry, the Orange Bowl, with 43 seconds left, they're playing Notre Dame. Rocket Ishmael returned a 92-yard punt that would have won the game for Notre Dame, but then there was a clipping penalty. So they negated it. Colorado had won 10-9 and was, I think, given a share of the national championship.

Yeah, I've been Rocky DeShmuel. I loved him. He was electric, dude. He was one of the first athletes that I really like, kind of star athletes that I remember being like, oh, that guy's crazy. And I remember being a big fan of him. When he touched the ball, it was electric. It was a lot like Golden Tate was kind of the same way when he was there. When he touched the ball, it was kind of everybody knew something special was going to happen.

And I'd forgotten the Rockies went to the World Series. But they did one year, got swept by the Red Sox. When was that? 2007. That recent? Yep. I don't remember that at all. The Avalanche, I think their first year as a team, they won the Stanley Cup. Yeah, they've been good. They won it this year. Hot.

I mean, we're just, yeah. Yeah. All right. I guess it's good to stop. Yeah. I mean, at this point, we're... But you're going to be in Vail this weekend, Colorado? Yeah. I'll be in Vail, Colorado at Gerald Ford Amphitheater this weekend. Yeah.

So come out to that and then everywhere else. I'm home this weekend, but I got some big shows coming up in Missouri, in Springfield, Missouri. I'm going to be at Corner Pocket Comedy Show at Billiards. Billiards. And then I'm going to be at Helium, that's September 15th and September 16th, 17th, I'm at Helium in St. Louis. Oh, that's awesome, man. Yeah.

I'm doing the Opry this weekend, but next weekend I'm in Tulsa, Oklahoma, the Looney Bin. Headlining the Looney Bin in Tulsa. All right. Come on out. Oh, yeah. I'm going to be, I guess tonight I'll be at the Washington. Oh, no.

Iowa. Iowa State Fair. Yeah, you guys. The Iowa State Fair with John Chris. And then I'll be at Wichita, Kansas at Vorshay's Cocktail Lounge. And then I'll be Kansas City, Missouri over the weekend at the Improv. And then Columbia, Missouri at a place called the Blue Note on Sunday. Yeah. It's going to be great. It's going to be fun. All right. Thank you, everybody, for listening. As always, we love you. Appreciate it. And we'll see you next time. Bye.

Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.