#112 College Pt. 1
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Hello, folks, and hey, bear. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm here with Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slate. There we go. Welcome. See? Hello, folks. Hey, bear up top. I think I like it at the beginning. And then we just ease into it after that. And you ease into it. We're done. You can throw let's go folks in there. Let's go folks is...

I still get yelled, let's go, folks. Hay Bears, you said. Hay Bears on fire. It's on fire. It's taken off. I have a lot of adrenaline after reading an ad. Yeah. And it feels in my chest. I can tell. It feels good. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you like it. I feel fired up. Yeah, I can see it. Yeah. You could kind of, you feel like you're switching to kind of support the man. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm, yeah, I'm leaning right in. I'm getting pro-government fast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He just completely changes. And then that's what I think everybody wants to see is eventually you're just like, I don't know how he didn't land on the moon. So it's like, ah, it just really came around. And then we're a switch. Yeah, I'm going to switch and go the other way. Like, well, I don't know. The Earth's flat. I always think it's funny when people get mad because the Earth's flat. They're like, you can't be saying that. You're like, is he?

Like, they take it like people are just stupid, and you're like, no one just... Who cares? Right, right. Like, it's always like a random... Like, when... I might have talked about this once. Like, Kyrie Irving, when he was yelling out Earth 5, they're like, hey, you can't be yelling that stuff. You're like, are you... It's your fault if your children...

Or like, well, he's my professor. Right. If he were the head of NASA, that would be of concern probably. But he's a basketball player. But even then, what's it going to do for your safety? Nothing. If you believe that it was flat, are you going to be okay? Yeah. Yeah, you will. Yeah.

We're saying do whatever you want. You won't fly a rocket into the dome if you believe it's flat. Yeah. Well, that's his point, though. He probably shouldn't be president of NASA if you're not going to... Well, if he doesn't want to keep crashing his spaceships. Yeah. He's putting up a facade in NASA. That's all NASA's doing. They're lying about it all. He goes, it's like Hollywood Studios over there. No, I...

Guys, do whatever you want to do. Earth is whatever you want it to be. And I like to appeal to everybody. You like to what? Appeal. Oh, appeal to everybody. Appeal to everybody. Yeah. Just let everybody in. Yeah. Who's to say it's got to be round or flat? What if it's a different shape altogether? Triangle. Triangle. Could be.

Could be. That's where the pyramid symbolism comes from. We're a triangle planet. Yeah. Like the pyramids. That makes much more sense. Yeah. That's what if flat earth people should go triangle. They go, look, I'll give you, I'll give you.

No, it's not flat. It's a triangle, which is three flat. They go, all right, I'll give you. Not flat. They go, thank you. They go, I think it's a triangle. It's actually three flat. Then you're doubling up. So you think there's three flat now. You go, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what the Egyptian pyramids are, the ancient globes. Ancient globes. Nothing on the bottom. Yeah. Yeah, the ancient pyramids are actually six-sided. Really? They look like pyramids, but they're actually...

Each side of it is... Like a cube almost. Well... Maybe not that ancient of the pyramids. Okay. Maybe just the four sides. The vast pro-triangle. We're talking about a triangle here. Right. You see, each of these faces of the triangle is actually two because you can't tell from a distance, but each of them go in a little bit. Like the ones below it in that one picture. See the little ones?

The little baby ones? Below it. Yeah, kind of. But you're saying this way. Maybe that's how they got built. Yeah, instead of a flat surface like this, they're kind of bent in. Yeah. I don't know how much I care. That's a good point. Yeah. I guess it doesn't matter. See, if I get to them, I'll be like, oh, I don't know.

Maybe those are baby pyramids. That's how they get started. Oh, go ahead. I'm sorry. Just trying to solve history here. There's a lot of vandalism at the top of those pyramids because you used to be able to just climb them if you're a tourist. You could just climb all the way up to the top. And I watched a video of a guy hang gliding over, and he tried to get as close as he can. There's just all kinds of graffiti at the top. People carved in messages. All different languages. Do you climb the pyramids? Yes.

You used to be able to back in the 70s and 80s. Back when there was freedom. Yeah. You know what I mean? But like with equipment. No, you can just walk up. You can. I mean, yeah, it's pretty steep, but it's just guys that climb up a side of a skyscraper. I know, but with special equipment. Some of them. I mean, some of those dudes are climbing like.

Well, that's true, but I thought he was saying just the average person could go and just walk up it. I think you... It's like steps. Okay, now I see it. It'd be difficult. It's hard to tell from far away, but close up it is just like, yeah, it's very narrow, steep steps. Oh, that's interesting. The best... Really, the pyramids take better pictures from far away. Yeah. It's like a lot of... Close up, they're kind of... It's like a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's like, no, no, no, no. It's like, we got close. The pyramids go back up, back up, back up. Yeah.

It's like one of those magnifying mirrors. You know what I mean? They do one sideways and straight. And you go, yeah, yeah. Get the phone higher. Yeah. You're like, all right, pyramid. We were talking beforehand. Dusty, not a fan of thriller movies. He likes to be bored. Well, I just feel like everything's got to be a thriller now. Like, why we got to be so afraid all the time? Oh, yeah. Like, scary. Because thriller can also mean, well, that's suspenseful, I guess. Yeah. It's like, just give me a good old conversation movie.

Oh, yeah. You know? It's a lot of talking. Yeah. Okay. I think I like the thriller, but I'm just kind of trying to, like... I don't want to be emotionally attached. Yeah. I don't want... I'm watching some Netflix. It's like The Bodyguard. It's a British show that it just said, like, six years, everybody...

uh in british where in england a lot of people would say england i say british yeah and uh so everybody in british were all obsessed with this show okay and i started watching it's pretty good but then it's like there's a storyline with a guy with his family and i'm not giving anything because i just started he's like divorced or they're split up and there's part of me that's like

I'm like, I just want, I don't care. Like, just be, just show me the bodyguard stuff.

I don't need to hear the phone. Like, but it's like, do people really are like, could you not watch something that doesn't have that? Like, Oh, he's going through a divorce. Am I supposed to imagine when I'm watching something, I've thought about it. Am I supposed to, what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to enjoy? I think if they humanize that person in that way, if they give them a backstory, they give you a reason to have an interest in this person. And that raises the stakes for everything. If you don't care whether this guy lives or dies, you're,

Then who cares what happens in the show? But I do if he's like a hero, like, and he's protecting, he's the bodyguard, he's protecting...

He does a very heroic thing at the beginning. So he's a guy that protects people. But did they get divorced? Did he abandon his family? Because if he abandons his family, I almost want the guy to die. No, no, he didn't. He didn't. But you're going to make one of them look bad. And so it's to me is like, well, why can't he just be a protector and I don't need to see his family? Like I just need just be – I like the action and the excitement and I want everything – everything's like real tense.

And then you're like, his failure would be if he didn't protect what he's supposed to protect. I don't want to have to watch. You know, it's like, I got to listen to your phone calls with your wife and you're like, all right, dude. There's definitely a balance to strike. Yeah. But ideally those things do nothing but raise the stakes and make you more invested. You're like watching him write child support checks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What's his purpose? 30 minutes he goes to the grocery store. They show it? They go, oh, they show it. They show it for sure. He walks around.

Not a banana fan. You're fine. I don't want to ruin it, but you're fine with that. I watched Unforgiven last night. Have you seen that movie? No. Great movie. A lot of talking in that. Yeah. 30-year-old Clint Eastwood, Western, won Best Picture. But the premise of the movie, this woman gets her face cut up at the very beginning, and then there's a bounty out to... or a reward out to kill the guy who cut her face up. But throughout the movie...

They just act like it's so like, she was mutilated. She was just, and she just, I mean, she kind of has scratches. She's still pretty attractive. It looked like that would heal in two or three weeks. And throughout the movie, they're just, can you show her? Yeah, she's- Is this her right here? No. A different time. She's still pretty attractive. But there she is right there. I mean, that looks pretty messed up. That's a bike wreck, really. Yeah. Yeah.

But I mean, I think this is a long time ago and people didn't cut people's faces like they do regularly. You're just coming off watching local news where you're like, you got one ear, all right? Hit me up when you lose both of them. I mean, give me a break. It just seemed like they were just like, oh my gosh. And I was like, I think that'll be healed in two or three weeks. But I think when this movie came out, you would have thought that was crazy. They're just ramping up.

To be in like, you know, look at where you get your now horror movies become Saul. Yeah. Where you're like, well, I got to show the inside of a body. And you're like, all right. Yeah. Like it's too much.

You're probably right. And Clint Eastwood has COVID most of the movie in that. Like, if they remade it now, that's what it would be. I mean, he gets sick. He's sick the whole movie. Yeah. Might have been the first one. Yeah. The other movie I just saw, Rounders. Yeah. That's a great movie. Yeah. I've seen it many times. Have you seen Rounders? Poker movie? Ed Norton. But, I mean, it's a- Brian Koppelman. He's a comedy. They wrote it. Yeah. Oh. He, uh...

It's a 25-year-old movie, so I had to remind myself of this. But the money he has to get raised at the end to not get killed, I guess, is $15,000. And it just kind of seemed like a little low because he's going to these professional poker – like $15,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he goes to his law professor and he's like, $15,000? I could give you $10,000.

And he's got to get it in a week. There was no GoFundMe back then. Yeah, he's got to get it in a short amount of time. It just, it seemed like somebody would have just, could have had that money to loan him. But I haven't realized it. So you, what we're saying is you, if you had to get $15,000 in a week, you're like, I wouldn't even break a sweat. I have that on me right now. Yeah, yeah.

Well, you know, just for some context, I have a step-niece who just bought a car. All step stuff. Yeah. Just bought a car that was too expensive for her, and she borrowed money from my sister to make the first payment. Yeah. So she didn't, like, get behind.

She started behind. So $15,000 for her. Whatever the penalty was, she'd be receiving it. I think if you think about how do you... You can't go into your... You have no savings and you need $15,000. You got to be like, that's going to be pretty hard to figure out how to go get. Yeah, it's not... I guess I just thought the people he was asking, somebody would have...

had that and in terms of the plot for a movie it doesn't seem super high like now it would be you got to write 15 million dollars in one week yeah yeah yeah i do understand that like why does someone just like if a rich person you think would be like yeah i'll give you 15 grand it's not a big deal but yeah but back then yeah but i don't know that's a gettable that's a

If you really think about it, that would be if you said, go get $15,000 right now, this week. Let's see. Let's see if you can do it by the next podcast. Can you walk in here with $15,000? That's the new Krispy Kreme. These guys jumped the shark. Made in one week, not just pulled it out. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because he did go ask for money and they said no. But I guess there's, so what's the storyline with that guy? He's dating that girl.

And it's like she's fed up with this stuff. So I guess there's a storyline there. I don't know. I could also not know how to watch movies. So I'm not a good – I am a dumb animal that just wants flashes in front of my face. And I don't want to have to – Just want colors and shapes. Yeah. You and Eleanor should watch shows together. Oh, we would crush it. You want a kaleidoscope. Yeah. I want to watch the dog channel.

And it's just like, I, I, cause I feel like I want to watch something. That's why I just go back to these old movies. I just don't want to have to get involved. And, uh, and then so, and then like end of a new movie, like that's why Jason Statham is like,

That's my guy. Because, I mean, his movies are just... He did a couple that were like, you know, it's like he's trying to get more serious and you're like, I don't... You're like, dude, if you do not fight someone... Yeah, I want you to flip a car unrealistically in the air and make me believe it. You should be in a fight every five to ten minutes of these hour and a half. Yeah. I mean, it should just be that. And that kind of stuff is... I'm way into...

Like very, you know, dumbed down. Those movies are great, but they're just, they are what they are.

Someone posted that The Rock is overrated because he's so big that he takes you out of every movie because you're just thinking about how big he is. And I've seen movies where there's no reason he would be that big for the role he's playing. You mean physically big or his stardom is so big? Physically big. He's so physically huge. I like the old Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone stuff. So I like the muscle action guy. But they usually had a reason that that helped them out or why they... I mean, The Rock plays...

you know, sometimes roles where why would you be so big? He's like a first grade teacher and he's 400 pounds of muscle. Yeah, but I could see what they're saying. Sometimes he's so big that you just think about how big he is in the whole movie. Well, people are getting so big now that it's like, it's, you can't, it's so unrelatable. I mean, it's like The Rock is like cartoonish and you almost can't believe he exists. And then you see, the sports, I mean, sports, they're getting,

You basically have to be born something crazy. You don't really have a chance. You've got to do what Steph Curry does, who's still 6'3", and you've got to master another aspect of the game, and that's why it's very impressive. You look at LeBron, he's 6'9", 230 or something, and you can run that fast. You're beyond that.

You're your own, you know, I mean, your own person. Yeah, not everyone can be Barry Sanders out here. That's true. But Barry Sanders had to be, he had a juke every, you know. But I mean, the linemen are getting so big. Yeah, they're crazy. That's what they're, there was like something Deion Sanders talked about playing Alabama and he was like, no. He goes, the problem is the linemen.

It's not quarterback, receiver. It's not the skill players. He goes, we got to give us time to get these lines. The alignment are so big. And that's a problem always with Vanderbilt. You're playing against, I mean, they're basically five guys that are just waiting to go drafted in the first round. So then it's just like, I'm going to stay here for three years.

And then I'll get bigger. And then I'll go. I did a show with Bert Kreischer and South Bend. And some of the Notre Dame offensive line came out. And just look how big these guys are compared to me. Yeah. I mean, I look like a child next to these guys. Yeah, that is funny. That is unreal. And I'm not a small guy. You're one of the bigger guys. And you're closer than them to the camera. That's unreal, dude. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. At first, I thought, well, they're not that big. And then you see you. Yeah. That is insane. I mean, this guy at the end here.

uh and these are uh it's like two of you yeah yeah they're big and they're you know younger than me and they're just like y'all are just built different man you're just built they hold their drinks better than you they do you need two hands that's a very weak that was that was a very like i submit to this group you're hugging that you're hugging that drink you're

I'm trying to keep this thing cold. Yeah, golly, dude. I'm actually pretty blown away. Yeah, because how tall are you? I'm about six feet. Yeah. Yeah. And they're 6'4", 6'5". Yeah. Some of them taller than that. But just, I mean. And they're all in great shape, too. Yeah. Well, yeah. Man, that's crazy. That's pretty crazy. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's the difference.

And that's, I mean, there's just not, there's not that many of those guys. No, no. I mean, they're, you know, spread out everywhere. You're like Rudy in there, you know, with those Notre Dame guys. They could carry you off there. Yeah. I think Rudy was like 5'9 or something. I mean, imagine how much smaller he was. Just think, the average person, if you walk around and they thought I got to fight you, they would be like, you know, like.

nervous to fight you because you're like, it's kind of a big dude. Like he's going to probably kill it. And then you look at, if they saw that picture, they would be like, I will murder that guy. I mean, little buddy. Yeah. Just on the way I'm holding that drink. Yeah. Yeah. Is that the best picture y'all could get? You only took one. Yeah. We only took one. That shirt seems really long. It is. I just got that shirt. It seems like you got a really long torso. Yeah.

It does. You know, I'm not happy with the way most of my shirts fit. Thanks, Dusty. Well, I just mean, like, look at the jeans, though. It almost looks like that is where the belt line for the jeans is. Look, you've got a real long torso. Well, I think whoever designed that shirt would like me to be, like, the, you know, the ratio of my width to height to be a little different. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we're dealing with. Yeah, it's like, he goes, what do you want us to do, man? And he goes, you see what I'm working with over here? No.

Not miracle working. Yeah. I had... I went to... Which is...

I don't know when this comes out. Nick Novicki is turning 40 this week. And our buddy Doug Brown, who does the music, did the music. We had his 40th birthday. Happy birthday to both those guys. And they... So I was like, he did a thing where you had to kind of dress up. His wife put a great kind of golf-themed event together. And it was like, oh, wear something nice or whatever.

And so I had a suit that I had when I did the Grammys.

And like, so you got fitted for that suit and I put it on. I mean, I can't even wear it. It's, it's, it's gotten that wild. That's cool. Isn't it? It's very cool. It's very cool. And it's very like, I just had to wear like jeans and like a button that shirt and like a found like a Jack and I was just trying to piece stuff together. Cause I can't wear, I mean, I'm losing, I mean, this is a good thing. So I don't want to try to sound like it's, but it's, I've never done this in my life.

I've never lost like that. So that is very exciting because I don't know what that feels like. You know, I've gone down in sizes. Like I've been 36 and then you go to like a 34. Or I'd always be like 35, like in there. And I mean, I think I have jeans that are 31. And I think I'd be a 30 or 29 now. And you put these clothes on, you're like, I don't want to buy any more clothes right now. Because you're just like, well, I don't know.

What's going to happen? I can't even wear this. This stuff was from whenever the Grammys were. And it's already gone. That's awesome, man. Yeah, it's fun. I had one cool moment like that when I got fitted for my wedding tux. I got fitted a few months out, and then they said, come in the week of and get fitted. And that was when I had just started to kind of lose weight. And when I showed up for the second fitting, the guy measured me, and then he was looking at the form. He said, I think they wrote this down. I think I got somebody else's.

It was like so much smaller. It was like something. They messed up something on here. I was like, oh, that feels good. That feels good. Yeah. He comes back. This is right. It's bigger. And he goes, I must have had a woman. Well, I'm in between belt holes. Hips were wide. Hips were so wide. And I thought, what? Like, I'm looking at this guy. He's not hip. This guy's not big. He's got a long torso. He's got a long torso. I'd say no hips, long torso. And what I'm reading here.

Giant hips. Birthing hips. Birthing hips. I'm kind of confused. I feel like you look thinner even when Sprung came out, which was a year ago we shot that. Oh, you look a lot thinner. Than I did in the show? I think so. The show's great, by the way. The show's out now. The show's great. Yeah. Greg Garcia. If you haven't seen it, it's on Freebie. You can go to Amazon. Sprung. Bates and Aaron.

acting TV debuts. Yeah, yeah. Both very funny. I watch both episodes. They come out every Friday. And yeah, y'all are great in it. Thanks, man. And it's such a good show. Greg is, and we're hoping, Greg should, I think, we're going to hopefully get him on here soon. But Greg's the best. He's normal of a guy that you could be. And for someone to be as successful as he is,

And have done as much as he's done. There's just nothing. There's no one like him. I mean, he's a special, special person. You know, he doesn't...

He listens to the podcast. Yeah. And so I'm sure he's hearing this now and rewinded it and hearing it again. But no, I'm joking. He wouldn't want to listen. He only listens with good things about himself. But this show is so great. And so, yeah, make sure you go check that show out. We're in a future episode as well. Yeah. Y'all be back in it too. You know, if you're here for clean reasons, it's not...

Super dirty, but it's... Just don't, you know. Just let you know. I gotta watch. I had no idea that it was out. Greg Garcia is someone that is... Will go to hell. But... In hell, they will be like, are you a Christian? Like he's...

Out of that group. Yeah. So down in hell, they would go, are you a Christian, Greg? They would assume he's a Christian. He wouldn't fit in in hell. Yeah, he wouldn't fit in. There's your clean dirty where it's not like obviously. It's like, yeah. I mean, he's definitely going. I don't know where else he would go. But yeah, he'll be nice down there. If you end up down there, I'd look him up. So let's start. You say you're between belt holes? Go ahead.

Oh, yeah. I mean, well, we're just talking about our weight loss journey here. And I don't think I'm losing weight, but I'm in between belt holes. So I'm at a place where it's like either my pants are falling or I'm cutting off the blood circulation to my legs. Yeah. You know what I mean? So, yeah, that probably would work better if you got it in before we did. Well, I tried to get it in, but I appreciate it. I appreciate Brian bringing it back to

It was kind of over. You were ready to move on. It was. My bad. But I thought, well, hey, we're already on the spot. I'll bring it back up. We can edit it back in there. Brian can always smell when something's not going to be fun. Yeah.

he, he's got a keen, I sensed it. He sensed it. He goes, wait a second, Dusty, go ahead. If you want to bomb real fast. Yeah. So, uh, I'll, I'll cut up the clip, add some laughs. It'll be a lot of fun. Oh yeah. Put a little laugh track in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Make it a thriller almost. Where is this going? Yeah. It'll be, uh, Dusty's coming out party. Yeah. Like, man, he brought in that, that, uh,

I'll show the belt. It's got my name on it. It's got it in between. Yeah. It does. You know, my dad said, my dad had a Bible class, I think he said today. So Adam, the word Adam's name means man. The root word for the name man is actually dusty.

Did you know that? Oh, I did not know that. Because he came from dust. Well, that makes a lot of sense. Because I am what people think about when they think about me. A real man. Yeah. Long hair, kind of confused. Exactly. I think nowadays for sure. But digging around in the dirt, you know, weed eating.

I think in 10 years, you're exactly what people are going to think of a man is just somebody can't really tell what it is. Yeah. I mean, I talked to him. You go, no, that was a man. Yeah. But when you walk up to it, you're like, I don't know what's happening.

Well, you know, I don't want you to think you know everything about me as you're walking up. You know what I mean? I don't want you to feel like making any real assumptions about me. Someone's going to come try to rob you. They're like, we don't know what could happen. Do you believe the earth is flat? No, I believe it's a triangle. I believe it's a triangle. But you hadn't heard that before. Yeah. That sort of thing. I like that. Yeah. All right, Ryan Sarpalius. Sarpalus. Huh? Yeah? Sarpalius? Sarpalus.

I love the dusty nose driving with the windows down creates drag, but also thinks he can safely toothpick jump into the ocean from 600 feet. Please do a physics episode. Physics could be fun. Yeah. Physics could be fun. We talked a little bit about that. My high school physics teacher listens to this podcast. Oh. Mr. Diamond. Great teacher. Cool guy. Good name. So we might have to consult him. Yeah.

Well, I don't think that I said that I know that you could safely do it. I wondered if that would be the safest way to jump. And I'm still not sure that Ryan knows just because he's made a comment. Does that mean that he knows? He's spelled PLEASE, so all capitals. So I bet he knows. He's, well. Ryan just said, as a guy that has done both of these things,

Drive with the windows down and jump. Yeah, let's see the toothpick. I want to see it be done. I agree that if you're in this situation, if you're in the air falling, give it a go. Try the toothpick. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's the way to go. Yeah. You want to cover the ears like this so you don't pop the ears.

Yeah. Ears are probably the last you're going to worry about. If you can survive that and you're like, we can't hear it, it's going to be there. And you still go, should have covered the ears. That's what you still do. You sign it to them. Yeah. Should have covered the ears. Save all your body parts, you know? Best you can. Best you can. Yeah. Raz75Reb. R-A-Z-75-R-E-B.

Completely agree with Aaron when it comes to sharing a hotel room. My buddies thought I was crazy when I brought this up two months ago. Another hotel etiquette. I love your take on when checking out. I take the sheets and pillowcases off the bed and pillow, paying it forward to make sure the next guest gets clean bedding.

I don't do that. Absolutely not. Yeah. Never heard of that. It's the thinking that if you don't do that, they're just going to leave the sheets and fill the cases on. It sounds like he might work at this hotel. Yeah. He's trying to get this going. Yeah. He goes, do you guys do that? Would you all start it maybe? And then I don't have to do much. I like to think that the maid comes in, just puts those sheets right back on. Right back on. He's annoyed. I would assume that they would think, well, something went wrong.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's covering up a crime. Yeah. Why do you already? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll leave a tip.

Dusty got me doing that. Yeah. I didn't even know you could do that or that was something you should do. Now I always try to. Yeah. I don't know what it is. Bob is a dollar a day, $5, you know. Just a whatever, just there. I think anything probably helps. Yeah. Yeah. I like to make it look, I feel like if you're going to tip, it like should look good. Like they come in and they go, oh, I appreciate this and not think, oh, this guy forgot this dollar. Yeah.

Yeah. You know? Yeah, because it can look like that. To want it up. Yeah. Yeah. Fivers are not bad. Yeah, you're getting the point now. Oh, dude, where did I... I had a tip. I had a tip at...

Like, it's not Hudson News. It was a different one in Denver Airport. I was at Denver Airport. A lot of stuff went down. Yeah. Yeah, I heard a lot of noise underground. They were moving day. Yep. And so it's like a Hudson News, like one of those little convenience stores, but it wasn't Hudson News. And so it's a...

I go and get all my stuff and wait in line. And then she scans it. And then I'm like pressing thing and it had a spot for it. She goes, they'll ask you if you want to leave a tip there or not. Whoa. And I'm like, and I, and if I get, I get, if I, if I get so caught off guard, then I mean, I just left the tip. Cause it's like, I'm just, I don't even know what's happening. Yeah.

And so then I leave and then I walk out. I mean, it's pure insanity. You go, I'm just at a grocery store, basically. I mean, you're doing, I went and grabbed it.

Like, even the yogurt thing, I don't know. I think this might have been my most frustrated one. Did they bag it for you, at least? No, no, no, no. It's you... I mean, you know the Hudson News. Yeah, yeah. It's that. It's that place. You go, I grabbed... I forget what I grabbed, you know. Man. And then you sit there. I might have even...

held the bottle to ring it. It's a gas station. It's going to a gas station and they said, you want a tip? I don't even know what this could possibly be. Because it's a point where it's now, you're like, well, I blame the companies to bigger. Y'all not paying anybody anymore? How are you not like, or how do you let this happen? It's their way to give them a raise.

Yeah. Company doesn't want to give them a raise. Everything is on you. Oh, everything's that. Yeah. That's the charity stuff. Yeah. All that. It's like they get, they force you to do all their work and you're like, are you not pay these people? Dude, I went to a Mariners game in Seattle and I got food at the concession stand and the employee turns the iPad around, you know, and the tip comes up and she goes, just hit zero because we don't get any of the tips. It all goes to the stadium.

Wow. Really? And she was telling everybody in line, hit zero because we don't get any of these tips. I was like, well, that's insane. That's insane. I would have left a tip if I thought it was going to you. Yeah. I love that she's doing that. I love that she said that. I want to give her cash just because. I know. I was like, I love this protest. Everybody's like, they're taking all the tips? Yeah. Crazy. I love it too. So go to Mary's game. Tip cash to the people.

And someone comes from the back and takes that money. They're watching on a camera. They're like, so you get a little cash today. Yeah. Mariners are going to, yeah, it's going to be like those concession workers. It's going to get to the point of that guy. Thanks. Yeah. Hot dog here. If you sign that, do not tip. They're going to move their mouth. Don't tip. They're watching. We're being watched right now. Keep your money.

Give it to me in the car, at my car, at a, I'll meet you at a hotel. Here's my Venmo. Yeah. Yeah. Ryan Schick. Schick. I bet that's tough. Yeah. Yeah.

Dusty not knowing sports is such a welcome addition to the podcast. Love all the sports talk, but being a subject that the three hosts actually knew about didn't fit. So Dusty's cluelessness on sports in general fits perfectly. To get in the wheelhouse, though, I'd love a NASCAR episode. Well, I feel like you guys are talking about local baseball. Yeah.

Yeah. Like Mike Trout? Yeah, I don't know who that is. I don't know the names of them. Yeah, yeah. You know the idea of what the game is. Yes. Yeah. So you know nothing about sports. I can talk about 90s sports. Give me the 90s NASCAR, the 90s baseball. Yeah. But I don't know what's going on these days. One time Dusty was on a sports talk radio show where they were going to make their picks, bet on the point spread.

And he called me or texted me and said, how does this work? And I tried to – do you remember this? Yeah, I have no idea. I could not explain it to me. And I was like, all right, so if Alabama's 28 points favored over Alcorn State or something like that, that means –

If you bet on Alabama, they got a win by more than 28. And I just don't think you could ever quite – I don't gamble, so it doesn't make sense to me. Yeah. Yeah. I don't sports gamble either. And I know what it is, but I still always have to go like – I don't like when it's like minus 10 or plus. That stuff I don't know.

And then over under, I would never, I do get it, but it's like, it's enough that I go like, it feels complicated. Then you're like, I don't know. Well, fantasy football is confusing to me because people will say, they'll go, do you want to join the fantasy football league? And I'm like, nah. And they go, they go, I like it because it helps make the games interesting. And I'm like, well, if the games aren't interesting, maybe you don't like football. Yeah. Whether you could bet on, they should do like betting on if you win or lose.

It's almost that simple. I think with gambling sites, a lot of it is... The numbers are... It's very intimidating where you're like, I can't get into... And you need to have one that's win or lose. You're like, I think Atlanta Braves are going to win. You can do that. You can bet the money line. Even calling it the money line, no one knows what that means. I don't know what... The money line is enough to scare me off. Yeah. It's almost like dumb it down to go, I want them to win. Yeah.

That's it. I want to be done with it. I don't want to go, they got to win by 10. There's people that want to like that complication of it, but I would be more willing to bet if it was like, because if I ever do, I don't really ever do it, but if I ever did it, it's like I would do the money line. And I have to ask, is that what that means? But it's like, it should just be like the winner and then pick them. The money line sounds like a good pickup line. You might bet, you might get, yeah. The money line? That's the money line right there. Yeah.

They would just never do that because there's one team always is going to be better. Unless it's a pick-em, like in college football where... Yeah, do a pick-em. But they can only do that for teams that are truly even matched up. Like if it was Alabama against some, like Vanderbilt, nobody's going to... Everybody's just going to bet on Alabama. Yeah, but you would say you... Yeah, I do get it.

But if you say if I bet on Vanderbilt, like if you bet a dollar, I mean, I'm basically describing – I don't think it can look as intimidating as what I'm – basically what I'm being – like you feel like you go to gambling stuff and they just act like you've all been gambling for hundreds of years. And there's no – there needs to be – you're trying to get new people and you need to be like, let's make it simple and, you know, that's –

I went to the dog track one time and there was this guy there named Butch and he had suspenders on and he was walking around like helping people pick dogs. And then if they won, he took a percentage. He was just like hanging out at the unofficially. Like he didn't work for the track. Just walking around, missing some teeth, suspenders. I mean, he lived at the dog track and he would help. He helped my friend and my friend won a bunch of money. And then he took a percentage. Yeah.

But my friend would not have won without a butch. Is it like 10% or something? Yeah, something like that. And then we thought we'd get robbed on the way to the parking lot. We didn't, but... Yeah, I'd be thinking that too. Yeah. But that's great. Yeah. I would talk to that guy. If ever I've gone to horse, you know, and you go and you're like, yeah, I don't know, you know. Yes. I'm not studying these horses. Yeah. And so it is, you get someone that talks to them, yeah. That'd be good. David Oakley. Oh, from the Oakley Sunglasses. Yeah.

uh surveyors have used trigonometry to golly accurately calculate i mean what out of the gate the sentence is wild yeah that's a big one that's really parts what's just mean uh yeah that's like someone that's like he's gonna get tired out yeah you're only about halfway done by the way halfway done have you seen the sentence of the senate yeah yeah

It's a big period. Surveyors have used trigonometry to accurately calculate the altitude of mountains for hundreds of years. In the 1830s, a young Indian man was hired to work for George Everest, who was the Surveyor General of India. So he's who Everest is. When they got to the Himalaya Mountains, the government of Nepal...

Yeah. Was it incredible enough to read all that? Yeah. I mean, you could have said it probably.

I like that they put accurately calculate because it's like if it's not accurate, then you're not really calculating. Not much of a calculation. Yeah. So this is what we talked about on, I think, one of the last podcasts. How do they know the heights of these? Last week's Colorado. Yeah, this is basic trigonometry here. If you know how far away you are from it and you know the angle at which you're looking at the peak, you can determine the height using trigonometry. Yeah, you can get close.

uh pretty close probably like the golf thing yeah yeah range finder but i'm saying that's what i would take from so you didn't get it right and he goes no but i was like 30 33 i was off about 33 feet he goes all right but i'm just saying yeah right right it's over 10 yards 100 miles away yeah 100 miles away you're off by 33 feet correct so you didn't get it right

Someone didn't prepare the right stuff. Yeah, I mean, get your trigonometry straight. First guy goes up, and he goes, I got 20,002 feet. And I was like, are you kidding me? There's more. And I mentally... Well, at least he underbid. So when Price is right, he would have probably won. Maybe that little tail on the B is what threw him off.

What are you talking about? A little tail. At the bottom of the B? Whoever wrote that B, a little bit extra. It looked like when they wrote that B, someone goes, stop, stop. And he goes, what? And he goes, what are you doing with the B? And he goes, what did you want to do with the B? And then he did the A and they go, all right, that's enough. That's enough. Just stop. Just stop. You're making it too long.

Brian Houston. In New York, it's Houston Street. That's their first big thing, Houston. Really? Yeah, Houston Street is said Houston. The prison that Martha Stewart went to was a women's prison, FPC Alderson in West Virginia. After she went there, it became known as Camp Cupcake, partly because it was Martha Stewart's and partly because if you had to go to prison, it is the one you'd want to go to. Oh, that's it?

It's like you could walk right out the gate. Yeah. And it looks pretty low security. Yeah, I would think Martha Stewart, I wouldn't think she would be in like a real hard prison. No, but I mean, like, yeah, you're still...

have to go you're still not at your house yeah you're still in prison there's a lot of stuff it's not like it's like she was like I enjoyed it she's like I preferred it but she became friends with Snoop Dogg thereafter and they're like buddies now oh was he in there too I don't think I don't think he was in there but she had a little street cred now oh okay

And Camp Cupcake. Yeah. He's trying to get some cupcakes too. Some financial thing. Snoop Dogg, what'd you do? He's like, I've murdered a lot of people before I started really rap. Kind of all caught up to me. Turns out, shouldn't have talked about it in my songs. What do a lot of rappers think that? I tell you what, if I could go back, I wouldn't have described how I killed all these people in my songs. In great detail. In great detail.

Because that's what I give advice to the younger kids. I go, maybe don't... Don't use your own name. Don't use your own name and have a blueprint for any detective. Ricardo Mute, Nate Bates, Cellmates is 100% a TV show that has to be made. That sounds good. I mean, I'm already on a TV show where I'm inmate. I don't want to be typecast. Come on, guys. Yeah, there you go. Solid take. Yeah.

But maybe this one there will show your face. Fair point. Yeah, it was a little like Ruth and I watching it and she finally sees it and I got a mask on. That's fun. It is fun. That was funny. Bates already complaining. It was on a hit TV show and he goes, ah.

When Greg comes, you can let him know you're a fuck. Well, he listens to this podcast. He's going to hell apparently. He might have other things to think about. Yeah, he knows that. Matt Goodale, I tell him every day. That's why I always think it's fun to tell someone that I say, I'm glad we're friends now because after we die, we're never going to see each other again. So let's live it up now. That's a fun one to let people know what's up.

Matt Goodell. Everyone but Aaron might want to reconsider their opinion on prison roommates. At age 18, I went to prison for three years. During my stay, I had two stints in the hole, one for 48 hours and one for five days. The five days of isolation felt like it changed me permanently. Humans were definitely not meant to be isolated like that. It also must be mentioned, Colorado Supermax, the one hour you get out of your cell is in isolation. Wow.

Well, I want to say that that day we talked about that. I did say, I don't mean the whole, I don't want to be in the whole, but if we're in a cell where you can talk to people from your cell, like if the cells are next to each other and you could communicate, have a little mirror that you stick out of the thing and look at each other. That's what I meant.

I did clarify that I did not mean the whole. Here's a picture of the cell doors. It doesn't look like there's a lot of opportunity to have a conversation with the guy next door. Well, see, this information was not presented to us on the day we had the talk. That's true. Now I'm seeing the doors and I'm like, wow, well, that does change. Now you'd rather have somebody in there? I don't know. I mean, I'm still...

I don't know. It's a lot. It's a big, it's a, I mean, you have someone to talk to, but, but if they not open them, let them go like hang out in the, not according to this guy saying you're one hour outside of that cell is also by yourself. Yeah. In Colorado. Yeah. At this particular prison. Yeah.

Yeah, Matt, I mean, Matt lived a life. Went to 18, yeah. I feel like when he was in prison, Matt wouldn't have been a fan of this podcast, but now, hell, he is. But I'm also going to say, I'd like to not go to prison, just for the record. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not pushing for prison to be- People have their own opinions. Tyler Green. You know what I mean?

I do know what you mean. I'm not trying to go either, man. Yeah. I mean, this felt like we had auditioned for prison and, and this guy's like, Ooh, you might want to reconsider. Yeah. It's cause you, well, you wear the, you're wearing the uniform. So, uh,

You wouldn't. They would go, we're going to give you the same clothes you have on, but orange. That's what I think. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm ready. I like to be uniform ready. Yeah. I can go to work at any time. If you, yeah. If art of prison, any, you could go manual labor, anything. If it's like, we need you now, you can. Yeah. And I can jump right in with complaints about any job. You know what I mean? I can roll right in and start complaining about management and it'll be accurate. Oh, wow. Yeah. I like that. I'm ready at any time. Yeah.

Tyler Green, the CFL still plays with the goalpost on the field. All right. I didn't know that. I guess I've never watched Canadian football. Yeah, their end zone is enormous. Isn't the field 110 yards? Yeah, well, yeah. I mean, their end zones are like two. Did they just decide that we're going to do everything a little bit wrong?

It's like, we'll make the field a little longer. We'll keep the goalposts up there. They're keeping it original, though, with the goalposts up there. Can't you catch it off the ground, too? Or is that arena football? It's rugby. What are you talking about? I've never heard that. There was one branch of professional football where you could catch the ball off a hop. Really? I don't know if that's true. What a hopper. I don't know if that's true. I mean, you might be right, but I remember that. It's kind of a big one to blame on all the Canadians. Yeah.

Well, they do up there. You can catch them. Like, you don't have to, like, have a ball or something. They don't use a ball. Is that what it is? Don't tell me they can get it. It's my church basketball joke. It's just all honest. He goes, no, that one, he went yard with it. They're saying, they're like, what?

I think you can get like a running start too before the snap. There's a lot of weird stuff. But you can do some of that. I mean, we have gone sideways. I don't think it's that different. You can't get a vertical. But it's not like Doug Flutie didn't come from Canada Football League and go to American Football, and then he's like, he goes, what's this ball? Who's this? What are these men doing near me? Like it's the same sport. I'm not saying you wouldn't recognize it, but I'm saying it's a lot of weird differences. They do the thing where they run, but I almost think you could –

Could you do that? No. But you can go sideways. You can go side to side. Yeah. You can't run vertically. Yeah. They do that. That's kind of fun. It is fun. Yeah. It's just different. Lindell Chambers. There was an elevator accident at the hospital where I worked. The elevator fell three floors. One girl jumped. The other two did nothing and had significant back and leg injuries. The girl who jumped was fine. Ooh. Jump. All right. Good thing they were at a hospital.

That's a good point. No one laid down, though, I guess. Yeah, the other person did nothing. She jumped. No, she jumped. The other two did nothing. No, I'm saying the person that did nothing. The other two did nothing. I was never suggesting you do nothing. I'm saying you get down on the ground. That's just cocky. You're like, oh, the elevator's falling. I'm going to just stay. I think they would say, instead of get on the ground, they would go, well, then your second thing should be do nothing.

And I go, but when do you lay on the ground flat out? They go, like, if you, I guess we're like, I'm going to commit suicide in this moment. He goes, I don't, there's no reason for you to. Do you want to die faster? Yeah. Get down on the ground. Sounds like they wanted some workman's comp. The girl who jumped, I mean, you know, I like to hear that. Yeah. Three floors though, you know, I think if it's 20 floors up, it's a different story.

Three floors is about how far that guy was off in Mount Everest. Yeah, it's true. That is true. It all circles back around. Yeah, trigonometry. Yeah. All right.

So this week, look at that. Yeah. Beautiful. We did it. That's why we brought Dusty in just to get the fist bumps out of him. Give me somebody the fist bumps. My gosh. I mean, I love reading that. Hey, Nate, cheers, dude. Yeah, cheers. I'd like to put another penguin in a penguin cage. Okay.

We go, this penguin was getting lonely. So we threw another one in there. I appreciate it. It's nice to have this side of the table. Yeah. You know, there's a real brotherhood over here. I don't know what's going on on the other side of this table, but we're together, you know? Yeah. That's nice. Between the two of us, outfits wise, we could, you know, work at a garage and do some hunting. Oh, yeah.

Oh, y'all look a lot better. We're ready to go. Yeah. And neither one of you can do maybe either one of those things. That's true. I definitely can't. Yeah, I could probably do the hunting. You hunt? Yeah. Well, I've hunted a little bit. I think I want to hunt.

I don't know why. I think I do. I've hunted a bit. I like to shoot skeet, you know, the clay pigeons. I like that. That's a lot of fun. Yeah. Okay. So you're not hunting. I've killed a dove. I've killed a squirrel. You know, I've shot some things. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? I, for some reason, I don't, I, but I don't know if I want to do it. Like I've always was like grossed out by like having, you know, the idea of like having to cut them open or whatever. Like I was like, this seems so insane. Dress them, got them and.

Yeah. It's like, but I've been talking to Eric about it because he does, he hunts and, you know, the two, you always feel bad with the animal. It's like, I'm not, you know, but it's like this, I don't know. It's,

I love being out in the wild. But some of it is like, I could also probably just be fine. I'm trying to go spot these things. Yeah. So it's like, I don't need to hunt, but I would like to go see some real wildlife. How do I get quiet to see the real wildlife? You can go hiking like you've been doing. But you could get some fresh meat this way too. I mean, you get some fresh meat. But you eat off the land. You learn how to hunt. It's something else to learn to know when all of it goes down, which-

Could be happening, already happened. Yeah, you never know. You never know. You want to be ready. Yeah, you want to be ready. And I don't want to, you know, be like, I can go show you where the animals are. Right. But I'm not going to. Yeah. I can't do anything with them. I'm not going to do anything with them. You're like a tracker, almost. You can take people out there. Maybe I'm just a tracker. Yeah. Maybe I'm a good tracker. You have to bring somebody else in to do the work. That's true. Yeah. Yeah, it's tough. We'll see what happens.

So this week... This week we're talking about college. Opposite of living on the land. Yeah. It's the people that will make everything go wrong bad. That's where it starts. Yeah, I mean, we get to make things like Tootsie Pop liquors and stuff like that. The opposite of pure survival. It's...

The direction of just, it's not going to work out. The only time I ever hunted was in college. I had some buddies that were into coon hunting and they had these dogs and... Raccoon hunting? Yeah, but they call it coon hunting. Yeah, you probably call it raccoon now. Uh...

Okay, raccoon hunting. I trapped a raccoon. I told you that before. They are. I let it out and I was standing up on this thing because I didn't want it to get me. And if it wanted to get me, it would have. I mean, it was so fast. Yeah, they're crazy. So fast.

Well, anyway, I had this mutt dog, and they had these great hunting dogs, and I would hang out with these guys. Just keep calling every animal just a brutal name. You have no respect for any animal. You got to get this dumb mutt dog. So then I go, you're like, golly, where did you go to college? You sure? BIM DSU was a different thing back then. Yeah, it really was. But one night...

I mean, you do it at night. Yeah. And one night, I wanted to just practice with my dog by myself. So I was in the woods behind my house, and I got lost in the woods at night for some time. Wow. And just wandering around the woods and got turned around.

And I finally like came out the back end of these woods and recognized someone we knew's house pretty far away. And I had a, this is before cell phones or anything. I had to knock on their door like at three in the morning and get them up. And the guy drove me home. Wow. Why did you, how'd you lose them?

Oh, I was by myself. I was just with my dog back there practicing. Did the dog run off and leave you? No, the dog stayed with me. Did you have a gun? No, because we would even usually just tree them and then let them go. Yeah. This is for a class? This was just in the summer when I was hanging out with these guys. Oh, this is just for fun. Yeah, I mean, you get some real Jerry Clower jokes working here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Marcel Ledbetter.

But I got lost in the woods at night. Did you have the compass or anything? Or would you have done that? So you kind of just fill it out? And I mean, Interstate 40 runs pretty close to our house. So my whole life, you could hear cars from the interstate even far away. But we were kind of down, got down in a valley and I couldn't hear anything and just got turned around.

You have a flashlight on? I had a flashlight. Okay. Flashlight in the woods is almost scarier though. Yeah. Because you can just see a little bit in front. And your eyes would be better. Your eyes might be better. Like you just like, I'd rather not have it.

Because you could see the moon and stuff like that. I'd rather not see that. Why did you go out there by yourself to practice? Because my dog, they had these great dogs that knew what they were doing. My dog was whatever the politically correct word is now for mutt. There's not. I'm joking. I don't know. Or maybe it's, what is it?

What do they say? Mixed breed. Muddy challenge? Mud, blood. No, no. I mean, rescue. Oh, rescue. Yeah. Rescue, yeah. I mean...

You can get any dog there. Was it rehomed? Is that the word? Yeah, it got rehomed. Yeah. All right. But I don't know who was rescued. You are the, you know. Yeah, we rescued each other. Yeah, it's a but. I'm joking. I don't care. So I wanted to, not with those guys, wanted to go practice with my dog so he could get better, so I could try to impress my friends with their great dogs. But I got lost and my dog had to. Do you think you were single so long because you try to impress men a lot? Like you're getting...

All your stuff is, you did all these things that got you, your biggest blunders have never involved women. They've all been you trying to impress another, a man. You know, a real, a dusty. Yeah. I mean,

I mean, I got plenty of women blunders too. This had to have made you better though, right? Did you come out of this as a better woodsman? He knows how to get from his house to his friend's house. But I couldn't do it again or I'd have just turned around and went back to my house. But you didn't feel a little bit more confident in the woods after that? I felt much worse. Much, much worse. I mean, they still bring it up when I see them.

And we're... Yeah, I mean, how big were these woods? It's a lot. It's a lot. It's many acres because there's different farms that connect to each other. So occasionally I would come up to a fence and I'm like, all right, some man's been here before. So it's just...

Would you say you're less confident with cigars? Oh yeah. Okay. Definitely. Yeah. You gotta, it's almost like you need to like stop practicing. Like practicing ruins it for you. I may have told this story on here, but with women, I would be on online dating and usually online dating. You have the first name and a picture of her.

And then maybe whatever they share, but it's not a lot. But I would always find them online. There you go. I would search them out. Because in my mind, the more I knew about them, the more I could impress them on the first day. Yeah, the more ammo you'd have. And hit them with the money line. It would always backfire on me, though. I remember this one. I may have told this on here. It was this girl, and she said...

Yeah, I went to Smith College. It's a tiny all-girls school up in upstate whatever. And I said, wow, yes. Isn't that where Julia Child went? And she goes, yeah, how would you know that? And then I started thinking, how would I know that? And it backfired on me because I looked so weird that I would know something about that. But I'd done all this research on her. Yeah. You'd done a bunch of research about Smith College? Yeah. It's like serial killer without killing.

Yeah. I mean, well, it's what I want to do with honey. Yeah. It's basically, I would like to be bait tracker. Yeah. I want to be a tracker. I don't know what happened to this girl. So yeah, she, she questions me. Uh,

Yeah, it is exactly what I want to do with hunting. Yeah. I like to look up the animal and know about stuff. But I think, aren't everybody probably looking stuff up about each other? Oh, yeah. But maybe not as detailed as you are. It's crazy now. It's not easy if you don't have their full name. You're like, yeah, you went there from 1982 to 1984. Is that correct? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it never worked out better for the age group. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's going on. You didn't even give him a good... A chair. Did you say 82 to 84? Yeah. Because, my goodness. I would make her 70 now. I mean, I was born at... Yeah. At 78, yeah.

You don't know how old Brian is. And you're probably trying to be polite. You go, you know what? I'll give him a good number. Don't give him late 70s. Give him early 80s. What did you class 79? Yeah, I saw you. I looked you up. 1982 to 84. I mean, I was born in 79. When were you born? 82.

That number's always fresh in my head. Yeah. So you just go with it. I went to school for two years.

82, 84, college. Not you, but her. Oh, yes. She gets her education quick. Yeah, graduated early. I would think with this online dating is the theory you would think is the man doesn't need to look up the woman, but the woman, if she's like, I looked everything up with you, you would think that's okay. It'd almost be reckless not to. For a woman. That's what I mean. Yes, for safety reasons. See what this guy's all about. Yeah.

And yeah, the woman you could maybe be like if she had, but they don't give her her whole name. Correct. Just her first name. How do you even find this stuff? It takes some work. Yeah, that is crazy. That's what they do now. So no one knows anybody's...

real names or i mean i'm not as active on dating sites now as i once was but last i checked it's just first name not as active you should be well i'm joking yeah but like you're like if you act like i should i wouldn't know now though why not but that was just funny if you actually get to the date in online dating you already know all the info she's telling you things about your her life you're like oh yeah uh-huh yeah i know that i know about that yeah yeah

Yeah, I would think the woman would be, it's like, go do your best to figure it out. But on this podcast, we always say, let's don't talk about anything beforehand because it's better just to learn in the moment. And that's what I should have been doing even on these dates instead of trying to research and come up with made up answers. Is it your news background? Yeah.

You think? Oh, man. He's got a little journalistic instinct. Journalistic that makes you go back, you know. Or maybe that's why he got into the news. Or maybe I just worry for my safety. You're like, I need better resources. Yeah. Yeah.

What if she says, I like the woods? And he goes, I can't be doing that. Not at night, right? Yeah. At night, are we together? No, I think we should walk separately and find each other. He goes, oh, will you go meet me at my friend's house? I can get us there. I've got a dog. So obviously, you went to college at Notre Dame. I did, yeah. You...

I went to Southern Union State Community College for a couple of days. Oh, yeah? A couple of days. For real, a couple of days. The Opelika campus? Yeah. I signed up for classes, two classes, and then I went to each one one time. And then I was like, I don't want to do this. What were the classes? I think it was math and English. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I was just trying to hang out with people. Yeah. Did you have to pay...

already or did they let you like go well i got i was able to get what they call like a pell grant so i got it was only it was like a thousand bucks so i got half of it paid and so i had to pay 500 and then i also took what are they there's some like class for the enrollment or what is it called yeah uh something yeah like with a meet and greet where you you're supposed to watch a video

Initiation? Orientation. Orientation, yes. Orientation. I didn't do that. And then... Cut some costs there. Yeah. You know, I just went and talked to them. I was like, you know, I'd like to just, you know, take some classes. Said, I'll get oriented out there when I'm ready. When I'm good and ready. And they were like, well, you need a major. What do you want to major in? And I was like, oh, I just want to take classes. And they were like, well, you got to have a major. And I was like, okay, business. There you go. And then they were like, okay.

I was just hanging out. I wasn't doing a lot. I was delivering pizzas. I didn't want the degree. I was just trying to meet people. Yeah. I delivered pizzas too. I went to Volunteer State Community College for one year, and I had to take remedial classes.

Because I got the 17 on my AC. You got a Golden Dome too, Dusty. Yeah, that's the Golden Dome of, well, I have always said Southern Union is the Notre Dame of Alabama. Yeah. Got the Golden Dome. Well, that's what it's known as. I mean, it is top-notch education there. Sounds like a bank.

It's like, it used to be like a tech- Maybe I went to Southern Union, you're like, I banked there too. Yeah. You know, community college, you're like, oh, I'm sorry. It used to be a tech school and a community college and they combined them. Open like a tech. That's a good idea. I love it. They'll like it. Even the school photo, the flags that have staff. Yeah. That's what it is.

What just happened? That's like, yeah. I mean, it's always just half-dead. Well, that was the day I dropped out. Yeah. It's a gun at the Western Center. Yeah, at a community college, you're like, I mean, we're losing people left and right. Like, I mean, he goes, every day something's going on. They go, oh, did something nationally happen? Nationally? No, just our straight-up college. Yeah, we don't even look that far out. Yeah. He goes, you go to community college, you're going to see dead bodies. Yeah.

Just wrap your head around that. You're at our community college. Be prepared.

Yeah, I did that right before I joined. Boundary State might have got a little bit nicer. Oh, yeah, that looks good. I don't know if you're looking. Oh, there, that is it. Yeah. Did y'all meet in that circle a lot? Yeah, I don't think I ever went into most of those buildings. Is that solar panels? I went into, we didn't back then, but I went into a couple buildings. Mine were on the outskirts. I was never in the thick of it.

Like in a trailer, kind of off campus. No, there were real buildings, but it was, you know, you could always park nearby. They, you know, they were trying to make it, like, we're probably not going to keep going. And a lot of people in my class were older. What made you go for a full year and then not go back?

Well, the 17 on the ACT didn't help, which is unreal. I don't know anything about those numbers. I don't even... Oh, yeah. An 18 is like you're pretty dumb, and a 17 is like I don't even know what's your existence. What's the point of you? What's good?

36. Okay. 36 is perfect. 36 is perfect. So an 18 is the national average. Oh, really? Yeah. Really? So that's how they calculate what an 18 is. So it's 36 is... Oh. What'd you get? Perfect. I don't remember what I got. Oh, he knows. Do you do the SATs or ACT? I took them both, but the ACT was the one that went better. So that's the one that... 30? 30.

No. 34? No. I think I got a 32 on it. Wow. That's great. And we're in the same spot right now. How does that feel? You're doing much better. That's true. Well, I had a big go at it because I knew immediately nothing was going to work out.

Well, that's what I said too. And I'm old and my peak is over. I'm on the way down. Well, that's what I said. I was like, there's not one single girl in either of these classes. And I don't even know what I'm doing here. This was not what I thought it would be. Yeah, I did. It was... Yeah, the 17 was not good. I remember it being very embarrassing. Just because it was like... It was like the first like, God, dude, you're just so dumb. And then...

And then I go to class. No, I didn't have classes with any friends. All my classes were like 40-year-olds going back to school. And then after that, we went to Western. But I had a great time. And after that, we went to Western Kentucky. My buddies were going to go there. And so I transferred. I was going to go with them. And I did the orientation and all that stuff. That stuff is super fun. I love...

The idea of college is like the greatest. Like that's my favorite thing is like your parents drive you up there, you go eat, you go to your dorm room, your, you know, Pete was with me. And so we're and then we go in there and you're like, he's on this sleep on that side. I mean, it's the idea of what it is, which is the Hank.

And that's the great thing about a regular college is like you would have stayed longer for the hang because the hang is – that's everything. And there's people to hang with at Southern Union, but just not in my classes. Yeah, but the hang is different though because you're going home. Yeah. Right. Like it's – when you're all like –

I mean, I love the idea and setting it up and getting, well, I'm going to need this drawer to pull out. And I'm going to need that kind of stuff, dude. I could do that all day long. I love... I could go... I think I could go pick stuff out for people. Yeah. Just because I love the idea of setting your room up and be like, you got a little here. You put all your keys and stuff here. And I do it with... I get back... I got so many...

backpacks and duffel bags like because i i always i like being like oh i'll go there i'll i like knowing where i'm going to organize my stuff and that's as far as i go and then it's like we gotta go to class you're like well that's insane dude why would i do yeah you go but you put i mean i'll give you a whole speech where i would do my homework i'd have it all set up to go this is perfect i'll do it and then i wouldn't you know i felt bold yeah so yeah i think i felt bowling

I missed, yeah, it was like... Oh, you didn't even go to bowling? I feel like bowling would be fun to... It was, and then he's like showing you how to really keep score, and you're like, all right, I'm not. I didn't have the right mindset of going. It clearly was not going to be my thing. I have... That's the only thing I wish when I was younger. I would have liked to have been more aware, be aware of what I'm doing. And I don't think...

Which is maybe not a bad thing. I think I was very much always just kind of in the moment. What did you think your thing was going to be? When you were like, I'm not going to do college. I'm going to get into this. Uh,

Well, that's when I ended up... I did this... Like, just whatever. I did this one job where we drove around. I told that job, right? The neon drunk driving simulator. And so I did this drunk... It was a simulator, white neon that would drive drunk and you go to schools all over the country. Wait, I don't... You drive drunk? We get the kids drunk. They're at high school. And we have them... They drive sober. And then...

And then we go, all right, give them a few shots, take them out to some bars, and then we let them drive us back home. We go, see how much harder this is? And we're all laughing. It's kind of fun. It's a good time. It's a good time. And some of them were like, you're actually better at it. We do the opposite. We go, I'm going to be honest with you, dude. You need some drinks. I would say...

Yeah, you're less nervous behind the wheel. Loosen yourself up a little bit. Get off 10 and 2, put a hand up here, turn the radio up. Did I tell the story about Old Hickory Country Club when I went there? No, I don't know. I remember. I'm still confused, though, about what this job is because that sounds like a blast. Yeah, I'll go back to it. Okay. And then I remember one time at the country club, one of Old Hickory Country Club. It doesn't matter if I say it.

And this was a while. This was a while. But there. But I remember this man was driving home and he goes, all right, I'll take a double vodka, whatever soda, whatever he's drinking. And he goes, I'll take him to go cup. And it was like a new way, like bartender or something. That's like, I guess what we can't. He has a to go cup because, yeah, I got to go home. And he's I mean, saying this is not not a long time ago. It's it wasn't that long ago.

in the past 10 years. But it was so... I kind of liked it. You shouldn't drink and drive, obviously. But that guy's mindset is like... He was so confused to be like, what do you not understand what's happening right now? I need... What am I going to drink when I go home? And so he's like, so I drink this drink and I drive home. I've been doing it for 50... It's this mentality. It's like a younger person that's like...

I don't even know how to respond to this. It's so crazy. And I enjoyed seeing that. Yeah. Uh, you know, that guy hit a pole on the way home. Uh, no, don't drink and drop. Uh, yeah. Earth's flat. Everybody keep a lot of mixed advice here. Earth's triangle, but don't drink and drop. Uh,

So we would go to these places and the car would be, it drives like a normal car. And then I'm sitting in the passenger seat. But it is a real car. It's a real car. It's a neon, white neon. Okay. And you'd build up a little track. Kids would come out. I sit in the passenger seat. They drive in a circle. And then I type in their weight and say they had seven drinks or something in their car.

blood alcohol levels like two point four like something crazy and so then when they go to make the turn the steering wheel won't turn and then it turns so it's showing you like you're how delayed your response would be oh okay so then you're hitting they're hitting like cones and it's showing you like this is how delayed you are sounds like a tootsie pop licking machine to me i mean i'm like let me be the judge of who's hitting the cones

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, this was, I didn't make the car. Right, right, right. You know? Yeah. You're getting mad at me. Like, I'm the guy that brought in the Tootsie Roll Pops. Look, I just delivered Tootsie Roll Pops. I don't know what to do. Like, no, but this was like a high school. It was like, go to school. It's a program to show people, you know, teaching kids not to drink and drive. Yeah. Yeah.

And so, and then I did that. And then, and it was awesome. That job was great. I like to think about the kid though. That's like, I was going to drink and drive, but then I took that class. Yeah. I mean, but I'm saying, I don't think it's bad to be that kid that thing like that. Like I wish I would have been, instead of being like, this is funny or whatever it is, even how I was processing it just to be the kid to be like, no, no, that's, that's like, it's,

You know, to be like, it is correct. Right. You know, technically, it's a lot of Aaron. Technically, it's like. Theoretically. Yeah, there's like, there's fun. There's like a balloon, a fun balloon floating up the air. And right before it gets out of reach, Aaron just pulls it down with a gun. Technically. And then he lets the balloon go. Yes. But he's always kind of grounded a little bit. That just kind of grabs it and goes, just before this goes away. And y'all start cheering the balloon.

This is how it works. And then Aaron still fun, lets it go. Still lets it go. Bates will not let his up. He holds it down. The string is below it and his fist is touching the balloon. And we go, Bates, just let it go. Everybody wants to see it. Let everybody see the balloon. That's accurate. I think that's correct. Dusty, I don't know. At one point, mine didn't even have a string. Yours doesn't have a string and you go, I don't know where this balloon's going. Dusty popped his along the way. Show me where it goes.

Yeah. You'd want to know where the balloon goes. Yeah, yeah. And if the balloon had a good time, then I'd like to do what the balloon's doing. So I did that. I did that job. And then, well, then, like, with, like, my parents were fine, like, wasting their time for Vol State. Like, not fine, but it's, like, you don't, they don't mind, like, I think it was $1,200 or something. And I'm sure I got some kind of something, you know, not a scholarship. I got, like, a.

Financial aid? Yeah. Probably financial aid or just a... Yeah, like, you know, you're an idiot. A grant, like a scholarship for being poor. Yeah. Yeah. There had to be something like that. And then... And yeah, it wasn't like... My parents are... I'm like an old car that you're like, I'm not going to put a bunch of money into this. Like, it's not... It's not going to be around much longer anyway. It's not going to be... Yeah. It's like...

they kind of, so the writing was on the wall to be like, $1,200. It's not even worth $1,200. I don't think I can get, sell it for $1,200. And then, so when I went to Western, it was this semester and it just wasn't. And they, that one though, that's a real college. And they're like, well, you can't go up there and, and you're wasting everybody's time. But I had a very fun time there for this semester. I went, uh, the Hilltoppers and, uh,

Nappy Roots went there when I went there. All right. So then I did that. Then I came back here and I worked, you know, delivered stuff. And then I worked for the water company. I would have just done that. I would have done, you know. Well, I'd probably still be at the West Wilson Water Company. Like, because it was like a good, solid job. And like, you could have just, you know. Yeah. Moved on.

I had a similar moment at Western Kentucky. You're talking about where you just kind of realize maybe this isn't for me. I had that moment with athletics. I went to a lineman camp at Western Kentucky when I was in high school. And I remember the strength and conditioning coach of Western Kentucky. He kept walking up to people and asking, how hot is your urine? And these big guys would scream back, steaming hot.

And I remember him asking that to me and I'm like, I just not, I can't do this, man. Yeah. I don't want to scream how hot my urine is. It's the mentality. I go, I admire these guys. These guys are just built different from me. I can't, I'm not going to succeed. Did you ever yell steaming hot? I think maybe, I mean, you get swept up in it, man. You start screaming, you know, you scream whatever they want you to scream. In the beginning. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Steaming hot.

We should have yelled normal. I hope normal. I hope it's like whatever the average temperature is. I hope that's what I'm putting out. What should it be, sir? What should it be?

Yeah, yeah. 80, whatever my body temperature is. It is funny. You need that warrior mentality. Totally. And if you have any of that, like, kind of like, I don't want to yell out. I feel uncomfortable. Yeah, and I respect the people that do have it. And I just remember thinking, this just isn't for me. Like, I can't. I'm just not that guy. Yeah. Who can scream about his urine to other guys. What about hot urine makes you tough? It was just...

It was just sort of a rallying cry. You got a kidney that works fast. How hot is your year? And they were going nuts about it. Yeah. I'm tapping out. When y'all go to the locker room and you take your pads off, you're sitting next to the guy and you just go.

a lot of urine talk like you just say that just trying to get a gauge on you know just to see the other he goes and he's like i don't think there's enough urine talk yes all right i think i'm i'm not in the right it's good to meet you dude yeah it's good to meet you i'm gonna be rooting for you guys so much uh but i this is insane this is insane like i don't even want my urine to be that yeah

I go, and who's filling it? How would you know? That's a good point. Who's, yeah. I guess if it's steaming hot, you can see it, but, you know. That's what you should have said when they go steaming hot and he comes to you, how hot's your ear? And you go, I don't touch it like all of you do. So I don't know.

And then you probably play quarterback. Yeah. Then they probably would have trimmed you down. You're like, Dad, I don't want to play football anymore. And he's like, why? And they're like, they're just talking about urine in there all night. All night long. Your dad's like, what? Is it cold? Mine's on the colder side. I run cold. Ice cold. Ice cold. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe it is more tough to be... Mine's cold. You're like... Because I don't feel anything inside. Oh, yeah. I could have spun it on him. Yeah. I could have spun it on him. I got ice in my veins. I don't even have urine. Yeah. I haven't urinated in years. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. College. The reason...

The reason college was created, at least in the United States, was to train ministers. It was a thing, training ministers to go out and spread the word. Well, it took a turn from there. Yeah. At Harvard, their rules were to know God and Jesus Christ, which is eternal life, and it's the only foundation for all sound knowledge and learning. That was at Harvard. At Yale, if you didn't believe in the Bible, it was a campus crime.

So, yeah, things have changed. I think it's the exact opposite. Yeah. But I believe in the Bible. This ain't your place. Yeah. So there's a difference between college and university. You're like, maybe I got an old rule book. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you go on. Yeah. That would be the question. Yeah.

And go like, yeah, I think I'm meant for an earlier time with Yale. Maybe a little bit late. A little bit late. And I thought Yale was spelled Y-E-L-L. I've been lost in the woods. Yale University. Yee-yee. That would have been, if you're smart enough to go to Yale,

And they had to fill out some great thing. You got to be super smart where it's brilliant. You should spell it. Y-E-L-L-T. Like that. It's this, this thing that the professor, whatever, how are they, whatever they do, they're, they're weeping. This is so good. And then it's spelled Yale. And you're like, how can he be that? Like that, just throw them off to be like, I don't know. That's blows me away.

There was a guy who faked his way through Harvard. He faked his entry, whatever you got to do to fill out, and he got all the scholarship money because they thought he was so great. And he just kept getting other scholarships, and he made it to a senior year at Harvard, and then he applied for the Rhodes Scholarship, which is like the biggest one there is. And finally, somebody noticed something that wasn't right and called him out on it.

And then he left Harvard, just bolted. And then he went, but he didn't stop. Then he tried to get some scholarships to some other schools.

And he finally got caught, and I think they made him pay back all the scholarship money that he found. But he was a senior at Harvard and just faked the whole thing. Was he able to, did he have to take tests or he cheated or something? I guess he just lied about what he got on his ACT or SAT, all that stuff. He just faked it. His name's Adam Wheeler. And I think there's books about him. I think there may be a movie about him. I love that they're not checking. Is that what you get on your ACT? Oh, 36. Yeah, ooh.

Oh, very good. Yeah. 37. Yeah. They go, wow. Yeah, I think he just, it was so convincing. And he had letters of recommendation. And they were really excited to have him. And apparently he was smart enough to make it senior year at Harvard. He was succeeding after college. He just had to. They weren't going to let him in, I guess. Seems like this is the guy you want.

It's, yeah, I look, I'm, I'm, it's a weird balance of like, I don't know if I'm totally against, I'm not saying you do that, but like if I was at Harvard and that guy did it and if he could, if he was legit, like A's in classes and stuff, you're like,

This is a guy you'd want on your, he thinks outside, he's thinking outside the box. Like he's, you know, it's like, he's not just a robot that's like doing stuff. What's he up to these days? Is he a success or did he? A lot of drinking and driving. I don't know what he's doing these days, but I mean, he was definitely smart enough to fool a lot of people for a long time. He just kept going too much.

So there's a difference between college and university. College is usually one particular field where universities are more widespread, at least in the United States, different. Like there's the college business and things like that. But in England, they call college university. I'm going to uni. Uni. Uni. And there, college is like a preparatory for uni. It's more like what we'd call high school.

I think they do like two years, and then when they're 16, they go to college, and then they go to uni. And college or uni is three years there. Yeah. Crazy how wrong they are, you know? Uni seems like the least cool thing to say what you're up to. Yeah, but to go to uni. That sounds like what we would say. Yeah. For our experiences. Yeah. Like, yeah, just one or two days. One or two days called communi. Yeah. Communi. Yeah. Communi.

Yeah, and I got to spend a lot of time there. You've been arrested? No, it's a college. What percentage of Americans do you guys would think has a college degree? 25. Like a bachelor's degree? Yeah. No one knows what that means. Well, I was about to do the degree. It's a four-year degree, yeah. Associates is two-year, then bachelor, then master's, then doctorate. I'm going 30 for the bachelor. Master's is another two years.

Masters is after bachelor. Yeah. How many years is that? Yeah, I think it is usually two, right? It can be one year. It depends on the program. All right. That kind of speeds up. Yeah. I would think to go get a master sounds so good. Yeah. I didn't know they were just handing them out in a year. Go from a bachelor to a master in one year? Four years to go. I got a bachelor. Then you want a master? Just come over in about 15 minutes. Yeah.

Just hang around with them. I mean, that's Beck Young's night college. Yeah. That he went to. I'm guessing, yeah, 30% is a good, I think. I'm guessing. The exact number I'll say. 35. 27. Go a little higher. 27. I'm sticking with 30. 38. Wow. I almost said 38. I thought that was low.

What? I thought it would have been higher than that. I bet a lot of people go, but just actually complete. To finish. Yeah, I bet it's different. Well, it's even got that. So 90% graduate high school. That's good. Wow. Or get a GED. 60. You threw that little.

Yeah. They got to get the number up to 90. Yeah. 90%, you know, or should have, you know. Yeah. 61% go to some college. Yeah. About 37% get a college degree, bachelor's degree, and then 13% get a master's and 1% to 2% get a doctorate. And what's a doctorate? And doctorate means you're like, you can put doctor in front of your thing? It's a PhD. Can you get it in anything?

I think so, yeah. Like you could be, you know, you go get a doctorate in... Bowling? Yeah. Or like, you have to, in one of the, in business. Yeah, yeah. That's an MBA. Well, that's a, no, that's the master's MBA. Yeah. Master's of business. But you can be called a doctor without being a doctor, right? Without being a medical doctor. Is that, that's a doctrine? Yeah, like, that's a PhD and not an MD. And then you just go around correcting people all the time. Yeah. And they go, no, it's doctor. Doctor.

And what are they doing? They're just like holding some information back. They don't tell the masters people. Yeah. It's like Scientology. You pay a little bit more, we'll reveal the real secrets. Yeah. And then there's a post-doctorate. A post-doctorate. Post-doctorate. What are they doing? Just people not trying to live with their parents for as long as they can? They're just trying to, yeah. Let me just spend my entire life learning about something. Yeah. Yeah.

What else do you keep learning? When do you learn? When do you go, that's enough? I don't think it's about like there's more, like there's still more to uncover. It's pursuing it more. It's you write these theses and you do your own work and try to contribute to the field in some way. And then you earn your post-doctorate degree. I would agree.

To me, it feels like college might be dragged out more than it should be. It can be. It can be a lot. Yeah, because it's so much money now. So it's in their best interest to do that. I would think experience is, I think, the greatest thing. So I could see you going to...

That's like going to what's the other schools called? The trade school or something like that. They're probably like, hey, we're showing you how to do all this stuff and then you got to go figure it out. Right. It's like that should be like that in regular college. Yeah, you go learn to weld and then you become a welder and then you're better at welding. And then you go get a welding job. Like they should do...

with college. That's a lot of what people do do a lot of that with internships and things. Yeah. You have real world experience. Like Cole. Cole started college at Auburn but he has an internship here. That's true. He's going to be prepared. Cole will be prepared. We prepared a young man for college. To go. Cole's going to be here next year. He goes, that's college. I'm stupid. I don't believe in it. He goes, alright. He goes, you know the earth triangle? Alright.

All right. That's the message I'm trying to get across, yes. Yeah. The most common major since 1980 is business. Yeah. It's the easiest to say. Yeah. There's a lot of under pressure. You go, I don't know what to say. It's like you may not know that any other field exists, but you know business is happening out there. I don't know if I would have even been that broad. Like, you know, what do you want to major in? I'd be like, basketball. Yeah.

And they go, okay, okay. I should have asked what some options were. I think I did communications. Communications is nice. But I just, I did not know what that meant. Yeah. But I just, I think I was like, I guess maybe I could talk about sports radio. Yeah. But I looked at it as...

I was interviewing to be a sports radio guy. Like that's in my head. George Costanza. Yeah. I took speech. I got an A. Oh yeah. I got an A in speech. A in speech, F in bowling. Is speech a college class? I minored in speech.

You took, your class was called speech? Different types of speech. Yeah. But what was the title? Did you go in and go, welcome to speech? There was one that was like, uh, mine was called speech. Yeah.

It was spelled speech. I went to speech. I don't know if it was just speech. I feel like there was always another word attached to it. I don't remember now. But my minor wasn't... I mean, you aren't that different. I majored in mass communications because I wanted to be a sports broadcaster. Yeah, but I never even...

I know, but as far as what our goal was, it was similar. I had no goal, and that was the problem. That's the thing. College is, if you don't have a goal, that's probably a good thing. I've never had a goal. Yeah. If you don't have a goal, then don't waste your money. My dad went to college late, which was good. I'm like 25 or something, whatever it was, 26. I was born, and that's the picture of me and him up there is Trevecca. He went to Trevecca. Derek went to Trevecca.

And they, so, but I would think, yeah, if you don't have a, if you don't like know what you want to go do, it's, you know, yeah, you should at least have an idea. Like to be like, nah, I kind of, at the end of high school, I think that's what I would have liked to been like, maybe I would have liked to know what I was going to go do more. I think most people don't really know when they start to college. I don't even know if I knew the general area. Yeah. Like there was not even a...

Because you don't have to declare a major until much later. But in England, from what I read, you have to declare a major when you pick your college. Yeah. Yeah, I would think...

If you're out there, if you're like, I know what I want to... And it could change. You're always going to be open to... That's the fun part, I think, about life. You got to go, I want to do this, but I'm also open that I might end up hating this, and then I'll end up doing the opposite of this. Because that a lot of times happens. But I would say, if you don't know anything, if you don't have a goal to go to, it's like, then just go, don't go. And then just be like, I'm going to go work some odd jobs, and I'm going to kind of just...

see what I'm like into. And then, you know, and then you just see from there. You might, I mean, if I would have known how many jobs there were, I think that's the thing too. You don't know how many jobs there are.

Like, you don't know shooting them. Y'all shooting this stuff here. Like, that's a job. Like, so you don't think I did it. I'm sure smart people do, but I had no, you don't think of like anything like people that make commercials, the people that do the music and, uh, song, you know, in, uh, movies and are whatever it's, you know, I don't know, being a ref. I've been about like, or whatever, whatever it could be an art building a stadium and arc, you know, like,

Get a degree in basketball. You can get on that. City planning. Architect. I'd like to plan a city. I would like to plan a city. I think you will. It'll be your own city. You're going to play SimCity? Yeah. I think it was you who got me back into SimCity a couple years ago. Yeah, I mean, I had to delete it off my phone so I could retake my life back. Yeah.

Just took over? I haven't. What are you doing on the phone? Just on my phone? Yeah, it's like, I don't know what happens. I just get into it and, you know, you come in, you collect all your money and you set things up and then you like can't come back for, you know, several hours. And then my wife kept catching me, uh,

Collected my money. She hates video games. Now I'm finding myself late at night in a hotel room rearranging the city. I'm like, what's going on here? Lowering the taxes, see what happens. Yeah, all that kind of stuff. It's fun. The oldest college in the United States is Harvard, 1636. Wow. But in other countries, Oxford University started in 1096. Wow.

And there's some even older than that. 1096. How's it doing? I bet we could relate to the 10 people with being a 2000 people. Like it's a weird. What do you mean? Like 2030, 2037, 20, like it sounds weird. Like to them, they're like, it's 1018. It's 10...

No? Yeah. I don't know if I get what you mean. I guess they went to... The date, or like the year. The year. Year 1036. Yeah. And we're like 10, you know, 2021, 22. We're like 21, 22. It's like 20, like it's, like when it was like, 1904 always sounds like right. Like, but when you're, when you're the zero, 21, 24 is when he came, you know, when Columbus came from the Mars to Jupiter. That's the new Columbus. And...

And then, so, but like back then, 10, if you were like, you know, when did you go to school? 10, 31. You're like, that sounds weird. Yeah. And that's like, you know, we're not like, I graduated in 2020. 2022 sounds good, but.

But, you know, when you get to 2028 and you're like, that's weird. It was especially big for the 10s, though, because they just came from when the date was only three numbers. You know what I mean? It was like not the 1900s. That was crazy. It was the 900s. Four digits. Yeah. My God, we've been around a while. Yeah. Yeah. You were born back in the 900s? Dude, you're old. Yeah. Yeah. So, Harper's. Yeah.

That would be to have to say, when were you born? But I used to say 99. But then it would be like, you could be born in 99 and then it's 1099, which is probably where the tax thing came from that year. That's right. That's when they started doing taxes. That's when they started doing taxes. And then you're like, no, 999. Right, right.

You're like, that's going to be our prices for a good deal. If you went back and talked to someone that was, I was born in 999. You go, I never not buy anything that's born in 999. I'll take you right now. I think they bought people back then too. Well, most of the oldest colleges in the U.S. are in the Ivy League. Although William & Mary is second oldest. Yeah.

And Penn claims to be the oldest because they said they were the first university. Harvard was a college, but most people say it's Harvard. The largest university, just on actual size. Texas. It's close. Ohio State? I think it's third. Talking about in terms of the number of kids that go there? Enrolled there, yeah. Michigan. UCF. Oh. UCF was number one for a long time. It just dropped to two. USA. USA.

I'll just tell you. Texas A&M. Ooh. They have 73,000 students last year. And Central Florida has 70,000. That's so many kids. Yeah. So the big thing now a lot of kids do is the gap year. Malia Obama took a gap year before she went to Harvard. And now it's a little bit what you were saying about getting out and seeing the world first. Now they go to Europe or something crazy. Yeah.

It's kind of encouraged at these big schools. We go work at McDonald's for a year. The real world. My gap year would have been. A little different from Malia Obama's. Yeah. Our gap year is like, man, I should get into college. Yeah. I had a gap year because they wouldn't let me go to college. Right. So they made me wait it out and go, just look, dude, just go deliver pizzas. See the county.

And then decide. See the county. Get out there and see the county. Get out there, dude. You don't know what is in Davidson County. Go check it all out. Maybe hop over to Wilson. See what they're doing. I'm about to go to Wilson. See the Wilson County Fair. All right.

So, yeah, gap years have really increased since the pandemic. More and more students are doing that. And some people take a gap year after college before they get out in the working world. Just their last time to live it up. I would think before. I guess you've got to have some money. I mean, like, that's the thing. The idea, that's the thing that frustrates me with. Even, like, people that could write this or suggest this, this is the thing that makes me the most mad. Is you want to go, no one can afford to do this.

What are you talking about?

Like to be like, it's good to go take a gap year. Of course it would be. If your parents have the money that you can go to Europe or you can go travel, it's, and I'm, and I'm not even saying those people can't do it. They should go do that, but don't then go to other people. This is what you should do. You're like, well, I can't, we can't afford it. I'm not, I don't get to fly. And they take out, yeah. Massive loans that just, yeah. For decades. That's the, that's my biggest problem with almost like the world. Like not, well, there's a lot of problems, but like the, the talking, the,

is the people that can afford to do stuff, they just act like they don't remember. And it's not like my parents did awesome. They did everything, sacrificed everything to get me to even where I'm at even today, but even back then. But just as when I was their age, I couldn't afford to send my daughter anywhere. But it's like you don't just act like, well, you should all be doing this. And you're like, yeah, that sounds amazing. We should all be going to Harvard. We should. Yeah.

We should all go to Harvard. You're right. But they're not going to let us all go to Harvard. Like, that kind of stuff is, that's, I have the biggest problem with that. Yeah, it's annoying. It's a very disconnect of just going like, did you not grow up? Like, I know she didn't. Because you're, yeah. But like Obama, like, I don't think that he grew up with

But you want to go... And it's like... And they're not saying this. So I'm not saying he's saying it. But it's like the idea, though, is a lot of elite. They just... And that's the thing. They're saying it on podcasts. They say it on commercials, on TV shows. They're like, well, kids should be doing this. I don't think you should go get married until you're in your 30s. You're like, yeah, dude, that's you. Right, right. There's other people that don't, that want to get married at 24, and that's when they should get married. And maybe they do whatever they want to go do. Don't act like you're...

you figured life out and then you're like, well, everybody should do it this way or we'd have a great life. You're like, well, there's a lot of circumstances and majority of them. Yeah. Just being out of touch with reality is, yeah. I mean, people act like if they have a lot of money that they don't think that they have a lot of money. They just think this is how everyone is. Yeah. I mean, they don't even, yeah. It doesn't even mean anything to them to go like, well, why don't you do that? I mean, they had that with COVID where it was like,

you know, why are you going to shut everything down? You're like, yeah, dude, you don't see these small businesses. Like that's a person's as a dry cleaners. Like celebrities are like, just stay home. And it's like, well, some of us have to. How was your COVID? You make sourdough? And people are like, no, I was working. I had an actual job. Worked the whole time. Yeah. They had with like Howard Stern does it where he goes so crazy about COVID and you're like, you have to live.

You live in a house that everybody in America would be like, hey, you got to go live in that house and you can't leave it. And we'd all be like, okay. Yeah. Thank you. Sounds great. It's that. And then it's like, why are we going back? And you're like, I mean, do you not think about

I always think those people can't... They either think... They're so rich that the only thing they can think of is homeless on the street poor. And that's the only poor that they know. They don't know a single mom trying to make it by... They only know...

Like, well, he's on the street. And then you're like, yeah, but I mean, most everybody else is trying to barely stay off the street. Are those people that are making just enough to like, all their money is being used. They're not, you know, they don't feel like they're poor or anything, but like all their money is being used. They're not, you know, they're trying to barely put some way like, and no one thinks about, which would be the middle class. But it's like that kind of thing is what's crazy to me. But they just think homeless. And they say, well, I just stay home. And you're like, no one can stay home, dude.

No one can do – like just have some normalcy. No one can take a gap year. They're calling it – they got a name for it. A gap year. How do you have a name for it? The gap year was we were not allowed to go to school. Right, right. Or your parents couldn't afford it or whatever it is, whatever reason. And it's not your parents' fault either. It's like, well, you have to take all the loans. My parents – my dad had to do all that stuff. Like everybody has to do that. So you don't get to go – there's no name for it. It's like I –

Yeah, either you go to college and work or you just work. Yeah. Yeah. It's like calling it a vacation. Like they have a name for it. It's a gap year. It's like, oh, I took a gap year than other people, other like –

you know well off people are like well that's a great idea you should think and you want to go i'm actually fine with all them having that conversation and that person taking the gap here and i think that's great and you should yeah you know what you should take a gap year but and be like that's fine you do all that stuff but at least let's acknowledge or you should acknowledge that you're able to choose when and where you want to go to college right which is insane yeah

So, and enough to go, I don't need to go right now. You have, everybody's good enough to go. I don't need, and you know, I'm not trashing those people. I just,

The idea that it's like, let's not forget us that are like, you know, we're driving to Vol State. If you're wealthy enough to take the gap year and not be a big deal, you probably don't even need to go to college. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're just doing it for fun. But I mean, I've met people who do it.

That are not wealthy enough. Like it's not, those people I don't mind. Some people, I think backpack somewhere and their job or their goal is to find cheap ways just to live. Yeah. Like hostels. I'll be honest with you. This whole argument now could be, cause it could be actually people that don't have money or don't come from something and they're like, no, I just, but they were smart enough to know to,

Or they thought outside the box enough to go, I want to go do this. I've enjoyed it. It felt very passionate and it felt like we all accomplished something. That's true. It felt good. Oh, you like this. Yeah. Yeah. It felt like this, this, this part of the podcast, we were like, yes, this is making sense. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I felt good about it.

Yeah, a lot of times when we do that, people are like, that's... Yeah, well Nate just changed his mind at the last second. Yeah, at the end I just, well, then I think about it. I'm like, well, it is true. I bet people do think about it. But I think people do it. Because I'll end up blaming it on, I think it's like, well, that's all the rich people. And that's exactly what they're doing. So I'm trying to remind myself not to do that and go, there's going to be levels of everywhere because I'm saying that. So I don't need to just go attack the top. So I need to remind myself to go.

Damn. It's always in the middle. It's always in the middle. It's always in the middle. He could just take some time and drink for a year. I did that. That's what Dusty did. I dragged it out for 10. Gap decade. Yeah, gap decade. Lost a lot of memories. Spent a week in there one month. Yeah, exactly. Is that right? Yeah. First college football game was in 1869. Princeton versus Rutgers. Rutgers won 6-4. Oh, man.

Barn burner. Yeah. I didn't realize just how different college football was at the turn of the century. Like early 1900s, it was basically kind of like rugby. Let the ball bounce back then. Yeah. There was...

There was no forward pass, so they just lined up. There was no pads, no helmets. This was before even leather helmets. And they just locked arms and just tried to push the ball ahead like a battering ram. Red Rover, Red Rover. And it was five yards for first down. It got so bad that in 1905, there were 19 deaths and 159 serious injuries in college football. Wow. And Theodore Roosevelt, whose son played at Harvard and got hurt –

said, we got to do something about this. So they formed what was eventually the NCAA to kind of come up with some rules for safety. And the next year, that's when the Ford Pass came in to play. And where was that invented? Notre Dame. University of Notre Dame. All right. The Ford Pass. Y'all were so smart. We were the first people to think, let's throw it. Let's throw it, Ford. Golly, that's why it's so expensive to go there. Because you guys, you know, all these...

Gorillas throwing a ball backwards and the Notre Dame comes popping up and then they start in their dresses, throw it forward. But I mean, even the rules were harder passes that cross the goal line resulted in a touchback to the other team. The pass went out of bounds. The other team gets the ball there. If the pass hits the ground without being touched, it's a turnover. And they were still having deaths like the next year, 11 deaths, 11,

I mean, the guys were just dying. So they finally kept changing the rules to spread it out where passing became a real thing. It's amazing that football is safer now. I mean, I don't know. You just would think back then. Well, there's a mix.

I don't know if it's safe. Well, you're not dying, but you're like. They're not dying on the field, but they're getting. It's a slow death. Yeah. It's like you could, I don't know. It's like a mix. But there's so much bigger now. But I think there was probably, there was a somewhat sweet spot of like where they had leather helmets and they had this kind of thing. And it seemed like there was like people didn't get, because you wouldn't hit with your head, like not wearing a helmet. Right.

It's like people are not just line driving. Yeah, the irony of it is the safest thing to do for your head would be to get rid of the helmets completely almost. It really would. Like it would be – if you got rid of your helmet, then it could be – Because you wouldn't be using it as a weapon. Yeah, you wouldn't be hitting people. I mean, you wouldn't dive with your helmet. I'm sure someone would. I mean, that would – but you would tackle. I think the pessimist in me thinks football will not be around in 15 years.

15, 15, 20 years. I think it's going to be, if it is still around, it's going to be drastically different than it is now. It's going to be some sort of, yeah, some sort of watered down version of it. Yeah. I'm trying to enjoy it while I can. I just think the more we learn about what it does to people,

It's not good. It's not good for you. Well, it's like, yeah, there's a mix of that, though. I mean, these guys are going off to war, but you have to, like, you know, war in the fact of what the sport they're playing. Yeah. But if you ask them if they want to play, then you're like, they're going to play. Totally. That's the thing that it's kind of going to, look, you keep trying to make it be safe.

But you also got to be like, these guys want to play. So I don't know what to... It's not like you're forcing people into this world. No, of course not. You're doing it, and they're continuing to find a better way to do it. I hope you're right. I hope they find a way. I hope they do. I understand that it could be the...

I could see it where it gets... I don't think it'll go away. It could be very different. Or it could go away. I bet what kills it more than anything is these conferences all coming together. And I think it's going to just become not fun. And you're going to just see where it's going to be. There's five teams that are great. There'll be five, but there will be 10 to 20. And the other ones are going to just be like, I mean, what are we doing? There's no...

end goal that you could even what are you striving why am I even wasting my time to watch yeah that would be the fear and on top of it they could throw in people getting hurt blah blah and all this kind of stuff but it could end up becoming that but maybe the NFL then just become you know that's what college but maybe the NFL you know

It ends up, I don't know. Up until 1936, there was no polls, so schools could just claim a national championship. So Vanderbilt has two national championships. All right. I remember that. 1921, 1922. We went undefeated? Yep. I think there was a tie each year. Oh, wow.

It's legit. No one calls it. It's legit. One of the years, the game they dedicated Dudley Field, that was one of their ties, 0-0. Not an exciting game. I've been to a few of those at Vanderbilt. Since the poll era from 1936, Alabama has the most national championships. Notre Dame's second. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, so some people have lied on their college resume and been caught about it. The most memorable is one of Notre Dame's coaches. George O'Leary. George O'Leary was hired at Notre Dame in 2001, lied about his college background,

They did a story on him where I think he said he went to the University of New Hampshire to play football. They called his old school. They were like, he never played here. Five days later, he had to resign or got fired. Oh. That was like recent? 2001. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Do you remember this? I do remember. I was young, but I remember it being a big deal. And then Charlie Weiss came after that. No, Ty Willingham came after that.

Okay. I think, yeah, yeah. It was crazy. I remember that. I've faked my resume too. I grew up next to Auburn, right? So I know a lot about Auburn, or I used to know. I would know buildings and bars and camp. And I was hanging out in Charleston, and I was at this party, and there were all these girls there. And I was like in this circle of people, and there were all these very attractive women. And it was, you know, my game was on. I was hitting the money lines, and it was good. Yeah.

You know, and they were like talking about where they went to college. And then they looked at me and they were like, where did you go?

And I was like, Auburn. Because I'm like, I'm not going to... You don't drop the, oh, actually, I didn't go to college line in that moment. So I lied. And they were like, oh, great. My cousin went there. And I was able to roll with the conversation. It was really great. And I kept... They were my neighbors. I kept this going for months. And then finally, it got too much for me to where I was like, I got to tell you, I never went to college. And they...

instantly stopped being my friend. Wow. It changed. Good for them. Yeah, yeah, because they were like, this guy's a known liar down here. Yeah, I agree with them. Yeah, the lie was way worse than never having gone to college. Well, who knows, though? In the moment, maybe if I'd have been, I didn't ever went to college, maybe we would have stopped being friends right then. Yeah. We would have been like, who's this? I bet they would have stayed with you. But I think still you're like, oh, you told them the truth.

Yeah, it wasn't premeditated. I mean, we saw each other here and there. I don't mean they burned the building down and rode out of there. But it was, yeah, it was very awkward for you. But it was a noticeable change. I confessed. I was like, listen, you guys are my friends. I got to let you know. And then it really changed the whole relationship. Yeah. Yeah.

And you lost them all as friends. Yeah. I mean, it was inevitable. I don't know. I was drinking a lot. I mean, I would lose them anyway. Oh, yeah. It was going to happen. It was like, this wasn't going to be. I lost lots of friends. Yeah. And I was good at making them, good at losing them. It was a real. Would you lie a lot? I wouldn't lie. I almost never lied. But, you know, I was in a situation where I was like,

These girls are very attractive and I'm having a good time here. I had a thought about lying this weekend. I was thinking of this. The biggest form of laziness is lying. Instead of actually having to go do the thing that you want to go do, it's easier just to lie. Once you start doing it and it can come easier, you're almost like your lying problem is you're lazy. Actually, it's extremely...

It's extremely not lazy. Yes. Because you have to keep up with so much. You got to remember a lot of stuff. But it starts for a lazy reason. Yeah. And then you get so like, you know, your life would be easier if you just told the truth. Even if just by telling the truth, you'd have to explain more. Then that's lazy to just be like, I'll just lie. I'll just. I don't have to explain. Yeah. It's like you want to be this thing that you want to appear as this thing. And instead of being like.

well, it's saying I didn't go to college and having to go like, Hey, it just wasn't for me or whatever that kind of thing is. Yeah. It's you could just go, I'll just say this. And you kind of like almost hope it stops, I guess there. Yeah. And then that's the easiest thing. And it's being super lazy or you're, or you're creating instead of going to be the greatest, the,

baseball player of all time or one of the best whatever you want to make it up to believe and then you're like well I'll just tell people I did it because I don't want to do the work to actually make myself get a lot of people I think could actually have the talent to go do it but it's so hard to go every day and the obsession you have to have to become great at whatever you want to become that the laser route is to lie which then becomes the actually

It's much worse. It becomes much harder. It becomes much harder. That's like everything. It's drinking. Everything becomes a point that you think the easiest route, eating bad. The easiest route is to eat bad. That's the easiest thing to do. It's just I'm not thinking about it, whatever.

And the hardest part is flipping that because you think your life is a lot easier when you actually don't eat that because you are not tired constantly and you're not miserable and you're not, you don't realize how much your mood is your food, but it's hard to like,

You know, well, that's where stand up helped me because I was like I was insecure for a long time about not going to college. Right. Because when you just work in a regular job, but you also didn't go to college, you're like, I don't know. It just felt I always felt weird about it. So then, you know, I grew up in a trailer and then I didn't go to college and I'm selling pesticides. So I'm like when I started doing comedy and then I'm like, oh, now it's like almost like a prideful thing that I didn't go to college.

But in that moment, I was just, I was hit with insecurity and I was like, oh no, I got to keep this rolling. And yeah, but I never liked it. I was like, this is not fun. It was fun to, you know, I was cool. I was being cool. And it was, that was a lot of fun. Auburn, you go, war!

He's a young War Eagle and stuff. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'll still do that. And I know you're an Alabama fan too. Yeah, I'll roll War Eagle. But I know more about Auburn than I do Alabama. Lying, you felt better. Yes. Yeah. Because I know the campus. I know the restaurants, at least at that time. Yeah, yeah. So you'd be good. Yeah. I like saying at that time. Like now...

I haven't been there. You're like, I might still try to lie, but stuff will be outdated. Right, right, right. Naming restaurants that have been gone for years. Auburn, oh, I went down to the old Zoomer hot dogs. He goes, what? That was my grandfather's. Zoomer's hot dog. My grandfather did Zoomer hot dogs.

Over at Auburn. He ran it? Yeah, he ran it. He goes, yeah, I used to eat there all the time. I did one other time. I was at an Auburn party and this girl asked me and I said I went to the college and then she was like, what are you majoring in? I think I said fashion. Fashion?

And she goes, oh, no, no. She said she does fashion. I had a cousin going to college doing fashion. So I lied. And then she knew my cousin. And I just started talking to her about my cousin. And the lie fell apart immediately. It was never going to happen. But I was like, oh, at least we got something to talk about here. I never was good at lying. That's why I don't like to do it. Wait, so you were going to school for fashion? Yeah.

No, I think I was talking to her. I told her I was going, I'm pretty sure I lied and said business. She said fashion. But my cousin was going to Auburn for fashion. I was like, oh, do you know my cousin? And then we talked. And she did. She did.

So then you're like, she's going to see through it going. So does he go to college and you go to that? I think then I just had an end of conversation and then I didn't care. So this is a regular story and not a lie story. Yeah, I guess so. I lied for a moment. But nothing came from it. Nah, it never did. What was the moment you lied? I said I was going to college there. And then once I found out. Oh, you're saying you're going to college. Yeah. There's the lie.

It was just, I was drunk. Yeah, yeah. And I was like. Yeah, yeah. Having a good time? Yeah, just having a good time out here. You know what I mean? All right. I have to run. And I don't think we really got into. No. We barely scratched the surface. We got a lot more. So we will do a college too, I think. Yeah. And so college, do we record next week? Yeah. We'll do it next week. So we'll come right back after this. We'll do the master's.

This was the bachelor's episode. This was the master's. This was like the community. This was, this was me and Dusty's career. It was, that's how little we got into it. Yeah. So we're getting to the, uh, all the other ins and outs of it, uh, next week. And, uh, uh, yeah. So, uh, as always, uh, I'll, I'll be out. I'm out, uh, somewhere, uh, uh, uh, uh, New Hampton beach, Toledo, Ohio this week, New Hampton beach, uh,

Massachusetts. Also, remember, so I'm doing another special with Greg Warren. Everybody remembers Greg Warren on here. Oh, yeah. And so it's at Lexington at the, what's the comedy? Comedy Off-Broadway. Comedy Off-Broadway. I've performed there at multiple times. It's a great, great club. Really? So October, I want to say it's like- October 1st is a Saturday. Yeah. Yeah. So the Saturday we're taping, but he's there that weekend. Awesome. So, but October 1st is the night of the taping, Saturday night, two shows. Yeah.

I'll be there with 800 pound of gorilla producing it. I'll also be directing it. I got a little fun, little idea I thought of, uh, with him. Uh, and you're Greg Warren's the most fun as you've seen it on this podcast. So, uh, if you come out Lexington, come out to that, it's going to be a great time. And, uh, and,

And we appreciate all the support that you guys do for us as well. I'm with Henry Cho at the Palace Theater in Crossville, Tennessee on Saturday. I hope to check out the Buc-ee's. It's the first one there. And then I'm at New Vision Church in Murfreesboro on Sunday. Awesome. This weekend, I'm in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the Looney Bin. Tonight, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Tonight I'll be at Zany's Comedy Club, and then this weekend, Naples, Florida, Off the Hook Comedy Club. Off the Hook. Yeah. Yeah, I've been there. Naples is awesome. Yeah. All right. We love you as always, and we will see you next week. Bye-bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.

Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate land podcast.