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Hello, folks, and hey, bears. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm here with Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay.
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Go to warbyparker.com slash covered to try five pairs of frames at home for free. warbyparker.com slash covered. Welcome. We had to pre-record this one because I don't know when it's coming out, but I'm somewhere. Yeah. I don't know.
It was a good time. Wherever we were at was really great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or where we're going. Yes. Where we're at this week is fun. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. What's your hat now? It's the Lexington Legends. This is the beer cheese. This is their alternate jersey. Yeah, that's fun. What's your hat? A golf course in Hawaii. Kapalua. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some Kmart over here.
This is an old retail market. Kmart. Locally. Used to be local, but it felt local. Did you buy it? No, someone sent this to me. Oh, okay. Was it ever bigger than Walmart?
I feel like they were like hand in hand at some point. I think Kmart was before Walmart, wasn't it? No. I think Walmart became Kmart. I mean, when I was a kid, Walmart felt like a classic store. You felt like you knew Sam Walton. And Kmart was a hot store. I mean, we'd go in there and they had –
I would say Kmart and Target probably have more to do with each other than Walmart. I just remember there was a Kmart in Lebanon before Walmart came. They were the new kid on the block. I'm sure that's how you're going off the history of Walmart as you go, well, Lebanon...
It was much different there. You know, in Opelika, what? Well, maybe it's Auburn, but Kmart, they closed the Kmart. Closed the Kmart. Walmart opened a store in the building. Biggest slap in the face you could possibly do. Closed the Kmart. Oh, what? So Walmart overtook Kmart in 1992. And since then, obviously, it's just been a blowout. But there was a stretch there where Kmart was the largest retail store in the United States. Who was first? Bigger than Walmart. Back in my day. Who was first?
Walmart is. Kmart was first. Oh, Kmart was first. Yeah. And then Kmart was America's largest retail supply store. Walmart came along and Henry Forded them. That's right. And, you know, stole their idea. I know, but does it still mean that Walmart was not first? Or Kmart is, like, I mean, I still haven't seen the date of going, like, Kmart was first, then Walmart came along. Like, it's like Kmart got bigger first. Oh, right. Like, it's like. I can't even think of another store. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. I would love to just type in, is Kmart, like... Just when they started. When they started. Okay, 1899 in Detroit. Jeez. 1899? And Walmart was... I remember that. Walmart... Started in 1962. Is that... Yeah. And Target started in 1902? Target? Yeah, I guess so. Sears, 1893.
So Walmart was new to the show. They were Johnny-come-lately. They were in 1960. I'm still seeing that one. And if you're Kmart, you're thinking, who's this idiot trying to compete with us? And now they're the biggest... They're the single biggest employer in the United States. Is that true? I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Still never really... Googling this, never really got the... I mean, the Walmart date says the people also search. I don't know if that's a fact. You still have...
Somehow Googled not exactly everything that I would like to say. I think I may be, if not entirely sure what we're looking for. Let's look up where Walmart started. It looks like Kmart was before Walmart is what I wanted to know. And then you typed in what overtook, when did Walmart overtake Kmart? Which the conversation I think started with who was first. And then you just went to overtake Kmart.
Very college way to go. I'm hoping to get some corporate gigs. When I'm just going, I just want to see the actual numbers. It started with, was Kmart ever bigger than Walmart? Yeah. And then you said, and I said, well, Kmart was here first. Yeah. Yeah. And then I didn't believe that. And then. I'm hoping to get a corporate gig with Kmart. Still, I would love to just see. There's one left. When did Walmart start? I believe it's that 1962. And I just want to see it.
Just maybe click it so I can just see it outside. You're giving me your... That's when they became the largest. When did they start? Yeah, what is happening? I'm not saying that... This is tough, man. Googling's hard. When did Walmart start? When did Walmart start? Yes. I thought we already had that. 1962. Okay, I just wanted to see it like that.
Because I see the Peaboss's search. I'm not saying that that wasn't true, but I was like, I just wanted to see it. You were never giving me a direct, like I wanted my own Google search Walmart. You wanted it in the larger font. I wanted it in the larger font. All right, my bad. Kroger opened in 1883. Yeah, yeah. Costco, 1976. Wow. Yeah, there's Costco, there's Walmarts. They're new. New to the game.
Well, Sears, but they're all, Kroger's still doing good. Sears was a catalog, you know. Well, Sears, it said, started in 18, before 1893 or something like that. And they were just a catalog. But they were the big deal. I remember when Sears was, like, when I was around, Sears was a big, it was a bigger deal. It was a big part of the mall. I wonder what happened. Sears, Gaifers, JCPenney, that was the mall. Yeah. I don't know if it's still there or not, but I've bought many appliance from Sears, scratch and dent.
Yeah. I used to deliver for a serious scratch and dent. I delivered, when I did refrigerators and stuff like that, we did it. There's one off of, they're our Applebee's. Is it literally products that have been scratched and dented? And usually you can't even find where the mark is. Oh.
Oh, okay. It's like something happened. They can't sell it. Oh, that's great. Yeah. I wish they'd still have that kind of store. They may still have it over there. I delivered from that place. It's all scratched and dented now, though. I have trouble imagining a world where Sears collapsed, but Sears scratched and dented is still thriving. That's a fair point. In a mall somewhere. Well, it wasn't a mall. It was on Thompson Lane near Nate's work. It was near where I work. I worked there, too, when I did my delivery. I think there's one Kmart left in the country.
Oh, yeah? I believe that's true. It may have closed. We're getting about three Google searches from Aaron. Or it may be recently closed. How many K-Marts left? As of April 2022, which is this year, there are three in the continental U.S. It's like blockbusters. Yeah. Yeah. All right.
uh florida guam of course jersey new york puerto rico virgin island st croix croix all right all right that's where i would have guessed yeah support kmart people get out there and shop let them know let them know yeah uh so let's start with you guys comments uh this week uh uh
Stephen Nupp, N-U-P-P, was in Sam's Club in Corpus Christi, Texas, and saw another Nate Land fan. For some reason, I yelled out, hello, folks, without looking. He just yelled, hey, bear, and we just went about our day. It was beautiful. I love that. Wow. Wow. How did he know it was a Nate Land fan? Because we all look the same. You can just tell. It's in the eyes. It's just...
Just look at another person's eyes, and you're like, that's a Nate. There's just nothing behind him. There's nothing, yeah. He was lost in the store. Not much, yeah. Sarah Nestetter. Nate has dyslexia. Aaron has gout. Brian had a stroke. And Dusty must have ADHD. The amount of fidgeting he does combined with how often he zones out makes me absolutely certain, despite my lack of any medical training whatsoever.
And that's the kind of training, that's the kind of advice we like to hear from. That is the kind of diagnosis I like, where you don't have a lot of training behind it. But yeah, I'm a fidgeter, but I got a lot going on, you know? I love that you were fidgeting with your hands till it got to that part of the sentence and you read it and then you stopped. I was like, yeah, Sarah, take it easy. You know what I mean? They tell me my hands are, some of my hands still look orange, so.
Yeah, I think someone was worried. This will probably come out after the special, but they didn't want you to play a lot of golf before the special. They didn't want your hands to look orange on the special. Do they look orange? I don't think so. I don't think so. No, I think they look fine. I would think they look orange because of the cameras or something. Maybe that's the case. Yeah, it's the generations' fault. You don't walk around in life and people are like, man, that guy's hands are orange. Brian, you had a stroke? What do you think?
Well, I shake a man's hands and he goes, go, go. He goes, you got something on the back of your hand. I go, what? We'll do the whole episode like this. See if you get used to it. I just need everybody to get used to it. I don't know. I have thought about it. The golf, like I'm, I'm golfing. I'm still going to golf, but I have been thinking like, I need to back out of the sun at least for a little bit for the special. Then you go too crazy.
So I've just been in it so much. I say dive harder. Get in there. Yeah. Go over the threshold. Get burned up. See how far I can go. Yeah. That's right. When I go to Florida, I'll lay out in the sun a lot and then I take pictures with people after the show and I look burnt up, man. I'm like, jeez, what's happening? Just super red. Yeah. Can I tell you something I did this weekend? I brought a sweat towel on stage. Oh.
I've never done that. Yeah. And it felt good. I mean, it looked silly. It probably looked absurd. It was like way bigger than it should have been, but I was sweating and I was like, I just gotta have something. Yeah. I have a towel on stage. We have it right here, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Just a bath towel. Yeah. Well, you should have. I mean, I don't know if you know how to do comedy, but this would be...
You held up an actual like, just it's like folder. Like, oh, we got it right here. It's like a funny, like this is the. You laughed, you laughed. It is. Because I expected you to let it drop and be like, there it is right there. I get it started. Yeah. Uh,
The, that's all, like, he's good at premises. Yeah. This is what he does. This is what the kid does. I'm a premise guy. He's a premise machine. So, I have a towel that sits on the stool, and I've never touched it. But I carry a towel with me in my backpack. I love a towel. But it's a stage towel. It's like, I mean, I love it. Yeah, a black one. A black one. I just love having a towel. Yeah.
But sweating, I just don't. Sorry. I sweat. I don't sweat much on stage. Well, this was it was pretty hot in this club. And I did have one fun moment where it was. Yeah, yeah. There's many other factors. No, I'm joking. No, it's true.
But I had like a big laugh. And as the laugh was going, I was like dabbing my head with the sweat towel. I was like, oh, this feels fun. I feel like Bruce Bruce or something. Yeah, you're really reaching a whole new level with the towel. Start wiping yourself down on stage. Well, that's why I'm dangerous. It's like it's dangerous for this to become a thing.
I don't want to be the sweat towel guy. I can't wait to see it. I start shaking. Yeah. I can't wait. Well, it's nice to... I guess if you just sit on the stool, then you can do it in a laugh. It's like it sets the tone. I'll stone it over my shoulder like a barkeep. Yeah. Did you? Yeah.
I was having fun. Yeah. You prop your foot up on the stool a lot, don't you? I was doing it all, man. Yeah. I was loose. Yeah. It felt good. I get a towel out there. They put one out there for me sometimes. I never use it, but the curtain hit my water bottle and I spilled some water on myself and I was able to clean up with the towel. That's how I approach the audience. You leave a little Tide to Go pen on the stool. Yeah. You do laundry up there. How close do you walk to the curtain?
I guess I got right up in it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I got, I mean, it, it attacked me. Was it a theater or? I don't remember what gig it was. I think it was a, um, I think it was a room in Wichita where it was a curtain, but it was loose. Yeah. And it got. Yeah. The curtain. It hit my water bottle and it's, you know, I'm wearing black anyway. It's not a big deal, but. Good thing you didn't have any Q-tips in your ears. Right. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Yeah.
Curtain does not move, usually. No, no. You got to get it out of the way. I mean, I thought for sure this bar I was doing comedy in would have someone move the curtain for me. I'm going to just keep walking. Yeah. I'm going to keep walking unless someone doesn't move it. And then, all right. John.
I haven't watched the video version of Nate Land since the first few episodes until today. And it blew me away how good Aaron looks. There you go. It is crazy. If he watches this one, he's like, eh, he's back. He goes, oh, I guess it's a rerun. Yeah, by the time this one comes out. Yeah. No, you've had. You were the one that started it. You lost weight. You came in hot. Thanks, man. You really took it. I mean, you look crazy different.
Yeah, so I see some clips from the old. I'm like, my God, dude. I was struggling. Yeah, it was. I'll stop making fun of you being fat once you get back to fat because then I'll have to feel bad. Oh, you didn't the first time. Exactly. That's true. I never thought of you as fat. I'll keep it going. No, you're just a big dude. But when you see old pictures of you versus now, though, it is like, oh, okay. I have old pictures where I remember when they were taken and I was like,
I saw the picture and I was like, dude, I'm killing it in that picture. And then I look at it now and it's tough, dude. Veeder had a picture. Veeder had a picture of the last time I was in Charlotte, a picture of me.
Yeah, you look good there, though. You're a big dude, so it helps. But that's a tough... I mean, that was on the road with you, Nate. I was like, man, that's an awesome picture, dude. That was two years ago. Wearing a Bush Light hat. I'm killing it. Yeah, yeah. That was when we were doing those drive-in shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I support it. Yeah, no. Well, the stage barely did. It's...
No, I looked at a picture this weekend from 2019 of me, and it's pretty wild. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I was like, it's big. That was the last time I drank. For you, it's like a few months ago, even. Mine's been a few months, yes. But I mean, this 2019 one, I don't know if we could find it, but it's...
uh veter had it maybe on his facebook page oh yeah all right oh can you just google 2019 yeah we should be able to find uh oh these look all pretty good uh those are all like professional oh this was like a candid photo yeah i mean it's like some of them yeah like if they're real good images you know i mean you can tell that's not good but i don't know if that's 2019 uh it's
Yeah, it would be tough to find. And then, you know, I'm that one. It was like one after a show with me and Gary. It's pretty crazy. TB, Tom Brady. Aaron's the perfect example of an indoctrinated millennial spouting the approved narrative pedantically.
In stark contrast to the free-thinking, uneducated Dusty who has his eyes open and is a lot smarter than anyone at that table, real Liz is. You got it all right up to that last one. Did I get pedantically right? You got pedantically, yeah. Oh, well, I don't know what that means.
Well, Aaron sent me this comment in a text, and I was like, wow, I've never agreed with anything more. Yeah, this guy gets it. Yeah, this guy gets it. TB gets it. I'm an indoctrinated millennial. It sounds like Tom Brady. I've been saying that about Aaron for years. Yeah, spouting the approved narrative...
I don't know what that, actually, I read this to someone else and I didn't know how to pronounce that word. It sounds like you're, to me, it sounds like you're, all you talk about is pedantically. Yeah, I don't. Whatever that means, you're like, let me tell you something, this pedantically is you guys got to try it. And we're like, I don't know.
You want to know what's funny? I mean, I just Googled definition of pedantically and it's in a pedantic manner. With pedantry. It's like, well, that doesn't help. Now we got to look up the definition of pedantic. Where do you keep it at? We keep it in the pedantry. Isn't that a Seinfeld? Huh? When George is dating the lady with the big salad and she's talking about Hebert and Herbert and these writers, she's like, but he can be pedantic. And he's like, yep, he can be pedantic. I don't know. All right.
Pedantic means characterized by a narrow, often ostentatious concern for academic knowledge and formal rules. I love it. That's actually a great word for what you think of me. Yeah, I love that. Pedantically. I don't know why we're having to define it with also another word that I'll need to look up in ostentatious. Ostentatious. Kind of pretentious. No, yeah. Well, I didn't know what that meant, but I got the idea of it all. Yeah. Well, I agree with this comment. He caught the vibe.
Here's what I focused on. Narrow academic knowledge and formal rules. Sounds like TV needs to be talking with Sarah Nistetter. Yeah, I liked it. I got narrow concern for academic knowledge and formal rules. Being like, I've been told this.
by people that I paid to tell me this. And this is the way it's done and you're stupid for not, for asking a question. Yeah, that's it. Pedantically. That's perfect. Well, that's how I've always felt that Aaron felt about me. Yeah. What about obtuse? You know obtuse?
I know obtuse mostly from the Shawshank Redemption. That's why we think about it. You would be. I haven't seen it. Oh, okay. Oh, obtuse is a word that's pretty important. That's the main thing? It's pretty, not the main thing, but it's pretty important. Oh. You'll remember it. But that scene made me think of you and Nate. Oh, that's right. That would be y'all's character. I thought obtuse was like a fat thing.
It's obese. But I thought obtuse was like, I honestly thought it meant circle. Like, do you know what it means? Like a circle versus an acute angle. Yeah. And obtuse is greater than 90 degrees. You do know geometry. Yeah. This is coming after. Very pedantic. It's coming after he brings a towel on stage because he can't handle 45 minutes.
Under the lights. I'm doing 50 now, dude. Yeah, 50 is good. It's that last five that were really sweating. Yeah, you got it. Does anybody else have? I'm more tells what we got back now. Soaking wet. Josh Oakley from the Oakley family. A few months ago, I saw Brian walking into church.
I thought about introducing myself, but I chose not to because I didn't want to invade his church experience by bringing his work into the discussion. I felt like this was a different scenario than running into one of you at a restaurant or on the golf course. How would you prefer those of us that are fans of your comedy, but also share a community setting like a church or social organization interact with you?
Well, Josh, I saw you look at me, and I was furious. Don't even look at me. Now, if you just saw me, I would have went forward at church and announced it to the congregation. Josh, here's a fan. Josh, I wouldn't go up to Bates if you don't want to talk to him more than this one time. So that's really, Josh, that's up to you. You really think about, do you want to...
every week have braun cql are you ready for a relationship are you ready for a relationship yeah you need to have an escape of this conversation yeah that's my biggest complaints people have about cameos mine are too long have you really gotten people say okay that'd be hilarious i've only gotten five stars but have you been doing cameos too
Yeah, I mean, I'm the perfect person because most people on there are people on the downside of their career who don't even want to do it. You need someone who never had a career because we're excited and we want to do it. So I really get into them. I've raised my rates and promised that Nate would also wish them a happy birthday. So if I just throw in... No, you have no up or downside career. You're just...
Just average. You just need one video of Nate saying happy birthday that you could work into each one. Yeah. Well, I'm just going to be like slipping in. Like if you guys were wishing Sarah Nistetter a happy birthday, how would you say it? This is a podcast. Just throw it in there randomly. Happy birthday, Sarah Nistetter. Yeah. She's like. I did a gender reveal. Can you imagine finding out the gender of your kid from me?
They'd be like, what's the gender of the guy telling us? Start there first. I'm confused by this whole thing.
Because is that a boy? Is that an old man? I don't know what's... He goes, I'm more backwards than everyone. You think there are some different genders? Huh? Boy and old man? No, it's just multiple jokes I did on you. Uh-oh.
The light go out. I'm glad y'all saw that. I didn't see it. Huh? It went dark. Hot, flat, yeah. No, I think, yeah, you can come up. I mean, again, I always say people, I got recognized at the Wilson County Fair. That's a place of church. Yeah, I'm the only one here that's going to be seen at church, but go ahead. I had someone come up to me at church. I did have someone come up to me at church. No, I know. And they did, which we're going, I got to go a lot more.
I got to get back in it. I want to... They were saying, welcome. Who are you? Yeah, yeah. They go, yeah, this guy asked for my autograph. I gave him my address. I gave it to him. I was like, golly, man, I can't go anywhere anymore. It's on a card. It's a new member. I gave it to him. He mailed me something. I was like, all right, take it easy. You like my comedy. I get it. No, I want to... I got to go. I got to... We got to... It's so hard to send... Like, we just...
the schedule it's hard to get into the rhythm of it but I don't yeah I don't ever mind it someone comes up and they say hey
Yeah, it's still nice. You're like, oh, yeah, I appreciate it. I feel like if it's even a moment where it's like that kind of like, if it's like, oh, you're, you know, if I'm with my daughter, oh, it's kind of a hectic moment or something like that or whatever it is. Those are even nice when someone's just like, yo, you know, big fan. And then you're like, oh, thanks. And you can kind of get back to what you're, if you're doing something. I like for people to do it when I'm with my wife so that my wife knows what's going on out here. Yeah. You know what I mean? In the streets. I'll be like, you see what's happening here? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, like a little more respect at home. Yeah, yeah. You should put a picture of your wife and your girlfriend so people know when and when not to come. I'll say this about Dusty. If you know who he is, you're going to spot him because when we were in Huntsville, anybody that remotely knew, they were calling you out. Oh, yeah.
You could put a hat on and maybe not even get recognized, right? Right. The three of us could. I mean, yeah. But you're pretty distinct looking. I don't know. I think you're pretty distinct. But I'm pretty generic looking. There are a million guys that look exactly like you. Yeah, but you're big. So people are going to like, they just notice. They'll be like, excuse me. I mean, yeah. They go. Like I walk into a restaurant, they're like, what? Yeah.
Coming through. Heads up. Watch your back. There's a lot of watch your back. A lot of beep, beep. Moving through. On your left. On your left. I meant you're tall. People just naturally are going to recognize. I feel like they look at you in the face more. How tall are you? Six feet. I think you would get recognized too. You do? Yeah.
Well, Dusty really gets... Well, Dusty, yeah. What happened? How tall are you? Six feet? So average? Anyway. Five-nine is the average. Really? Yeah. That low?
It is. That's how tall I am. Dusty, you're the obvious. You're not going to miss it. I was with Leanne recently, and two people in front of us had her back to us, recognized her just from her voice. Oh, yeah. I've gotten voice. Mine would be a voice. I can have that, where they hear the voice, and then they don't. Yeah. But if I have a hat on, if I didn't wear a hat, the Wilson County Fair, it was...
But if I have a hat on, but it's still, I mean, it's, you know. Yeah, I can do no hat, hair up. Nobody really would notice me. The glasses, though. You got other pairs of glasses? Yeah. I think what's helping you the most is where you're at in your career. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you want to, well, if you want to maintain a low profile. That was pretty good. Yeah, that was pretty good. I mean, he said he's going, he's like, I'll put my hair up and nothing will happen. I'm like, okay.
Yeah, the key to not getting recognized is to not have success. No, yeah. I'm joking. That came off me. It was right there, though. I don't know. It was funny. We're having a good time. I thought of it right when the hair went up, and I was like, well, I can't not say it. We listened to, pick your voice. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Brian. When we're putting Eleanor down to sleep, and we'll do the Alexa, the lullabies.
to for her to listen to but they'll stop every two or three songs to do a geico commercial and it's your voice so right when she's about to get to sleep you just hear with geico we yeah so she knows your voice you do geico commercials i did i did some yeah okay radio oh that's fun audio yeah i mean they play them all the time yeah oh that's cool yeah yeah i do hear it a lot oh so you just play lullabies you don't sing them
passing along sometimes but yeah I don't know if you want you're like Alexa babysit oh yeah well Eleanor doesn't need to be I mean come on let's let Alexa handle it you don't play your any your daughter any lullabies oh no
We don't have Alexa. Well, I know, but there are other ways to play music. He's not going to have an Alexa. Well, I know that, but you don't have any musical instruments or anything that would play music for your daughter? I mean, she has some toys that she'll punch on. Do you all set your phones in a basket outside before you go inside? No, I wish, though. I do wish that. I do take my phone out of the room when I sleep.
Oh. I don't like that. Oh, that's awesome. I don't like that. I like that. Those waves coming off there. We watch a baby sensory thing on YouTube called Hay Bear. Really? Oh, really? Oh, I've seen that, yeah. And it's just like a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds? Yeah, it's fun. I get into it. You're into it as well? Kind of do. I could see having your phone out of the room. Yeah, I love that. What, do you have just an old alarm clock?
Well, you know, when I'm home, we don't really have anything to wake up for. That's true. I don't really have it. I mean, my alarm, I don't really need it unless, you know, I don't really set an alarm much. Only when I have to get up to go to the airport. That's the only time I have an alarm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I used to set it up a lot more than I did. Yeah. Now with the bus, you know, and now with travel means already got to usually fly a day early or something. So you don't, it's not like you have to go take a 6am flight always. Yeah. Uh,
I have to set my alarm if I have to like be, I need to be going by 11. I didn't set it today. We started recording at 1130 for the first podcast. If I didn't set one today, I'd probably still be asleep. Yeah. Wow. I'll just keep going. Yeah. Wow. I think you're, it's, it's, you're at a good age where you will sleep. I'm starting to hit the age where you're starting. I'm going to start waking up. I'm not, you know,
I don't sleep late, but I don't sleep to noon anymore. And I used to easily could sleep to noon. Yeah, without even thinking about it. Yeah. I think you just said, yeah, I'm hitting the age where it's about to start flipping a little bit. I get more tired. Yeah. You know. Probably good. Yeah, I'd rather get up earlier. I need a better morning routine because I'll get up and just look at my phone.
And I like it because I just lay in bed and look at my phone. But I do like laying there. I need to put a book there or something. Yeah, I'm never going to, you know. Go back to sleep. Yeah, I've tried those tricks. You put the book there and then you move the book out of the way to get the phone. Yeah. Yeah. I would throw the book to hit the door and Laura goes, what are you doing? I go, we moved my phone. Becky Arnold. I went to a work Christmas party with a guy I was dating at the time.
I feel like I just, my rhythms. I went to work. I'm Becky. I went to a work Christmas party with a guy I was dating at the time. He left me to get drinks, and one of his coworkers asked what I did for a living. I knew I'd never see her again, and I totally lied and said I was a pediatrician.
She asked where I went to medical school, and I said Duke. She then proceeded to tell me she was looking for a pediatrician for her daughter, and I immediately said my office is not taking any new patients at the time, and politely excused myself and walked away. That's pretty great. Yeah, I love that. I love that the lie kept going, and she was like ready, like she was ready with the next one. Yeah, it's a great cop-out. We're actually not accepting new patients at this time. It's smart to think of that. Have a great rest of the evening. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, another tactic would be, yeah, give my office a call. Here's the number. What number do you write down? Anyone. 555. I think you could, yeah. I would almost say you could go, I'm lying to you about all this. Like, maybe just tell her that. Yeah, you're like, nah, just kidding. I work at Captain D's. You're like, yeah, I'm not a pediatrician. I honestly just said it because I thought, I just felt like in the moment to try something crazy. Yeah. And it's crazy that you needed my services. Mm-hmm.
Or you commit to it and you go out and do house visits. Yeah, or just start helping our kid. Yeah. If the kid's in good shape, you don't got to do that much. You just rub the pencil on the bottom of their foot or something with an eraser. You just do that. Hit the knee. I don't think they even do that. Don't they do the pencil on the foot? Or who does that? Maybe they do that to old men. I've done the hammer on the knee. Yeah, I have, but not a baby. Oh, I think you do it to kids. No, babies don't have knees.
Yeah. I think that is one of the last cartilage that gets formed. No. Yeah. Yeah. That's not true. I'm not saying they don't have kneecaps, but I think that's one of the last parts that forms. Really? They don't have knees at all. It's thigh, calf. Just stops there.
Dangles. Okay. Look it up. I've never heard that. Just look it up to see. Do babies have knees? Do babies have knees? When did knees overtake the government of the body? Well, I got no answer. The answer is yes and no. Golly. You can't have a yes and no answer. Babies are born with pieces of cartilage that will eventually become the bony kneecaps that adults have.
Yeah. So they don't, but then it becomes that. Yeah. The answer can never be yes and no. It's never that. Well, it said the babies had bony kneecaps. That would make the birthing process a lot more difficult. So it developed later. That worked out. These women complaining about everything? Yeah. So it's like the answer is no. Because I would need to take an L shape out. Like it's, yeah, you need another doctor in there if babies had knees. This is great. The kneecaps don't ossify.
until the ages of two to six. So the first two years of their life is just cartilage in that knee or just an unossified. Yeah. What? I don't know. He just said they don't ossify and they go, so they don't have them. I go, or at least they just have not ossified. Yeah. Pre ossification. Yeah. You know, it's a knee, but it's, you know, it's not ossified when we all know what that means. Yeah. I had knees though. Uh,
I just want to be a guy that hears this and goes, I had knees pretty early. Ben Browning.
I mistakenly locked ourselves out of our house. We had to call Locksmith and he looks at our door and says it's going to be $150. I don't have an option, so I tell him to go for it. 45 seconds later, the door is open. While I'm paying the guy, he spins his phone around and there are options for 15, 20, 25% tip. I just paid $150 for less than a minute of work and now he's asking for a tip. But he can break into my house in seconds, so he got a tip.
So the thing that you're paying for there, even though it does take a minute, it's the, you're paying for not the nine hours. So it might take him a minute, but you're paying for, if you don't do it, then it's nine hours. Interesting. So you're, you're paying for, I would imagine you're paying for the, you know, it's like,
You're glad everybody's happy. It takes a minute. That guy is, you are all that stuff. This guy's got good enough to have it take a minute, all that stuff. You want it to take a minute, you know? So sometimes you gotta realize like, why, what am I paying? I'm paying for this not to take over my life. Like you would pay if someone's like, all right, I'll do it for free, but it's going to take one hour.
or two hours two hours i'll do it for free for two hours you give me 150 bucks i'll do it in one minute you're probably going to go i'll pay the 150 bucks yeah well what about the tip though so the tip thing is the thing that's confusing with jobs like this you want to go what is the 154 is it not going to you like is it you're not a company or you're it's you know if if the money's
You know, the money's going to you. That's like, isn't like women's hair salons. Like you don't tip the owner of the salon or something. I think that's the way they do it. Cause it's like the owner, but then you would tip the other people. Cause it's like the owner would get technically the entire amount of money. So if someone has a company and you're, so this person's like, now if he's a works for a company, I guess you could do it. You could tip them, you know?
But it is like if he's his own company, you're like, well, I'm giving you $150. It's like just charge it. How much does it cost? $150. Okay, here's $150. Thanks. That's like any work that you do when you want to be like, all right, you did siding on my house. I'll pay you. What is it? Give me the price. I'm not averaging. No one knows how to tip for that.
Like that's like, you know, that's the problem too is sometimes tipping. A, that it's 15, 20, 25 now is crazy. But sometimes the tipping, you want to go like, do you tip the plumber? And you're like, I don't, no one knows how to tip a plumber. No one knows the percentage you're supposed to tip. I don't know what you want me to give this guy. Sometimes it's rude to tip and you don't, you never want that. That's always awkward. Have you ever tipped somebody and they're like, no, you don't need that.
Yeah, but that's gone away. Most will take a tip now. And I think being tipped is happening so much. I think it used to be like that, but I do think now it's much more rare when I see someone. Because I've been in situations where I have tipped and they're like, no, no, no. And I'm like, come on, man. And then they just take it. Yeah.
But I don't do that in a bad way. Sometimes I'm doing it because I know they know me or something, or I know, like, it's like, sometimes you just call it and, like, you know, it's like, I'm just, I want to do it. I want to, like, this person really helped us and we did this. But, like, the person with a plumber or, like, with this kind of thing, you're like, what's the price, dude? Like, I don't, what am I supposed to be, what is 10%? 15 bucks. 15 bucks? Like, so...
It's like kind of you're like you don't tip. That's like a restaurant. That's what tipping is, is like restaurants. I would imagine you should go if there is going to be tipping in all this other world, it should be like
Maybe it's 10% or something. Yeah, I mean, especially this where he turns the phone around. Because now it's not like what you're talking about where you offer a tip and the guy goes, oh, no, no, no. And you're like, no, I want you to have it. Now it's like a guy going, tip? Yeah, and you have to. He's holding the phone. Yeah, you're like, oh, no. Now if I do tip you, it's because you forced me to tip you. You don't even feel good about it. You feel like you got me. The idea of it would be to...
Pay cash. Yeah. Well, to pay cash, but also to be just brave enough to go, I'm not, I'll pay the 150 bucks. Or you can almost, I mean, like I always think of it, some of you are like,
I'm not going to tip you, but I don't know. Even though you're tipping me, I'll give you $175. But I'll give you $175 of charge me the price. I'm not adding it in a tip. You're almost like making a point to go, I'm not scared. I'm not saying I won't pay for the services, but I'm not doing this game afterwards. But I don't know what is going to make you happy. You have 25% on there. So if I go 15% on locksmith, which I don't know if it's 15%. And if I put 15, you're going to be like,
You know, is there still some like. But his last sentence really seals the deal here. Yeah. But he can break into my house in seconds. So he got a tip. Yeah. And I understand that. That is. Yeah. And you hope that the guy's not going to, but. Yeah. A little intimidating. He just shows you how. He's like, hold it out. And just remember, I got in here real quick. Yeah. That took me a minute with you looking. Imagine if I don't look. If you're asleep at night. I'll have quite a quick kind of do it.
Yeah. Yeah. We need a conversation about tipping. Kim Souza. On one episode a while back, Nate made a point to say that people who quit drinking sometimes worry they won't be as fun. And he said that could not be less true. I am 95 days sober. Congratulations. All right. And that meant so, so much to hear. I am loving life without alcohol. And it's so reassuring to hear that people on the outside think we non-drinkers are still a good time.
And Dusty being a member of your awesome podcast crew is just further proof of that. Dusty, you are awesome. In 10 years, alcohol-free is really inspiring. All right. How about it? Look at that. Congrats, Kim. Yes, you will enjoy life a lot better. You will. And this needs to be said. Alcohol, it is. It's poison.
It's such a drag. I mean, I had such a fun time, but I was miserable. Really? You're having fun because you don't know. You're bored. Yeah. You're bored with your life. Yeah. And so you don't know what to do. And you have no, so you're like, all right, this, well, now my life, now this becomes fun. Mm-hmm.
And then once you, I think that's the flip is you just go like, well, I want to have fun, but I don't want to have fun and then feel bad the next day. You don't have to ruins the next day. And then you don't have to be fun. Like when you're drinking all the time, you're almost like being fun for other people. But now I have fun all the time. I don't know that I'm more fun to be around.
but I'm having, I think you, I think everybody's, you're going to get around people that you're going to be more fun to be around. Cause you're going to be fun and you're going to go do stuff during the day. You're going to go do this. You're going to do that. Like it's fun. You lose. And then it's like the people at night when you're like, you know, if they're like, why are you not drinking? You're not being fun at night. You're like, I don't do it. It's 11 o'clock at night. Like, you know, there's just a, there's times where you just go like, all right, this is right. It's not, it's not worth it. Yeah. The party's over.
Yeah. Yeah. You get up and you go do stuff during the day. And yeah, that's awesome, Kim. You're doing great. Yeah. And three months is a long time. I remember at one point I hit one month. I was like, all right, that's good. But I've done a month before. And then I hit two months and two months was a real celebration because it was like I had never since I started drinking, had never gone two months without a couple of drinks.
Yeah. Yeah. Celebrate. But in AA, which I didn't do, but in AA, they say they give you a chip at two months because that's the point where people start to say, all right, I know I can quit now. So I'll, you know, I'll go back to drinking because I know I can quit. Interesting. And then it really sucks you back in. Yeah. There, yeah. I also, I think it's the control. Like it's like, I think a lot about the having no control.
I don't ever want to go back to that. No control. It's like you're going to feel bad the next day. All these circumstances. And then you're like, I don't want that anymore. And I am glad I don't have it.
Yeah. I like to be able to go to the Waffle House without, you know, being like, sorry, you had to kick me out last night. You know, stuff like that. Like those kind of things are great. Yeah, yeah. Not getting kicked out of the same sushi restaurant twice in one day. You know what I mean? Those are the kind of things that I don't do anymore. Yeah.
And that feels good. You eat sushi? Yeah, I love sushi. Twice in one day. I got kicked out of a sushi restaurant and then I went over to another bar, had a beer, came back, talked the bouncer into letting me back in. I said, I'm cool. I'm cool. A bouncer at a sushi restaurant? Yeah, it was like sushi slash nightclub kind of thing. But we were all eating. It was daylight. Right.
And, uh, and I go, he goes, all right. I was like, I'm cool now. And then I went right back to arguing with the person I was arguing with and got kicked out right away. I knew I wasn't cool. I was lying to the guy. Yeah. Yeah. Why were you, uh,
Yeah. Who knows? I mean, there's, you know, I was at a, what do you call the thing where you sit around and the guy's flipping shrimp and stuff? Hibachi Grill. Yeah, with a bunch of people that I work with and I remember calling a guy out like right at the hibachi thing for no reason. I don't know what I was even calling him out about looking at me, you know, and I would get so fired up. It was, I mean, in a lot of ways it was a great time. Yeah.
So, Kim, what we're saying is give it another shot. Yeah. Yeah, no. Kim, wait 10 years and then, you know, no. That's awesome. It is awesome. Yeah. All right. This week.
So this is where we're talking about physics. I Googled physics, and I'm like, I don't understand what I'm reading. So then I Googled physics for kids, and I still didn't quite understand what I was reading. But it seems like it has a lot to do with gravity. Gravity is a pretty big thing. That's helpful. That's about as far as I go. Physics was hard. It was the hardest class. One of the hardest classes I ever took. In high school or college? Physics in high school. I avoided it like the plague and everything.
In college. But physics is just the study of how things move and behave in the universe. Okay. It's used in everything. Engineering. Yeah. Architecture. Aerospace. Sports. Is it like how a building would fall over? Yeah. Describing how exactly that would happen. Yeah. Yeah.
And then you're like breaking it down to be like, well, we know this would do this and then collapse. And now, yeah. And if you do controlled demolition of a building, you would understand physically how all that would happen. And then you can make it collapse. You can manipulate it in a way where it will collapse how you want it. But like the trade centers, they did not think they were going to collapse like that. I mean, I don't think they... I don't think they did. I don't think they wanted it to. No, no, I know. But I mean, when they thought it would fall...
I thought they didn't. Like, it's a miracle that it even fell. If it's going to fall, it's a miracle that it fell like it fell. But I think that they knew. Three times. They knew. It fell three times? Well, I mean, you know. Three different buildings? Three different buildings came down. They knew exactly. I think they knew the right place to hit on the building that would cause it to do that.
I never heard that. Really? No. Do you believe that? Do you think the U.S. government knew exactly what it was? I have no idea. There's a very fun video from the 1970s of some beach whales that died and they couldn't move them out to the ocean, so they had to set up dynamite and blow them up.
And the people came out to watch and the news crew was there and they miscalculated the explosion and whale parts just go flying everywhere on people, on the crew, just everywhere. It just starts landing. It's a very funny video.
Is it? It's on YouTube. That's a huge whale. Yeah. Those whales are so big. So they were just like, can't get it. Blow it up. It was dead. Pull it. Yeah. Oh, this is a fun question. I saw this on Reddit the other day. They were asking, what animal would scare you the most if it were the size of a whale? A bear. A bear. A bear? More than like a praying mantis the size of a whale would terrify you. Yeah. Any animal. Yeah. Something fun to think about.
Just an ant, maybe. Any insect would be terrifying. Spider. Possum would be pretty terrifying as a size of a... They're terrifying as is. Yeah. Wild looking ant. Yeah. I would think the praying menace does to us skinny legs. An alligator. An alligator would be tough because they're low to the ground. That's true. Yeah, and they would just pin their head and eat it.
You know, there's bears when we were in the Toledo Zoo, they have short snout bears that were around, you know, whenever, you know. Yeah. You know, a lot of stuff, quotation marks, dinosaurs were around. And they were huge. They were the biggest, like, look, that's like that one over there on the right. That's a grizzy bear.
And that's how much bigger they were. Golly. You can't juke that bear. I don't think you could just because its arms are long. They're taller than you. Yeah. That could be the strongest thing that's ever lived. Could be. I mean, just that thing bears, like bears, they've become, they're my new favorite animal. What was your old? What got bumped? I don't know if I had an old one.
But snakes, I always liked snakes. Yeah. I always go to the reptiles. I like looking at snakes. I don't want to touch them anymore, but I like looking at them. And I always loved snakes. I read a lot of books about snakes and stuff. But now bears are... This is...
You got that pulled up. So a few episodes back, we talked about Aaron and how he looked so different next to the Notre Dame offensive lineman. Someone first posted this photo of him. Oh, yeah. A pretty good Photoshop. Yeah, of what he looked like. But then people also sent in some celebrity. Well, there's The Rock and Mark Wahlberg next to Shaq and Barkley. Yeah. That really blew me away, this picture, of how small The Rock looks next to Shaq.
Well, even to Barkley. I mean, yeah. The Rock is so big. And he does. He looks like a regular person next to Shaq. And Mark Wahlberg is on his tippy toes right here. Probably. But Shaq, he's huge, man. Mark Wahlberg is not as small as it looks.
I think the biggest favor in this picture is Wahlberg. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Well, just because it's like, you're like, oh, he's not. Because you think all the other ones are so tall. But I mean, Barclay looks bigger than The Rock. Yeah. Yeah, definitely taller. And there's Arnold Schwarzenegger with Wilt Chamberlain and Andre the Giant. That one's crazy. That's crazy. And he looks like a child. Yeah. Wilt Chamberlain is that big? Seven feet tall, yeah. Jeez. Jeez.
I mean, that's so... This is blowing my mind. That's unbelievable, dude. He's, I mean, it's not even, it's, yeah. Like, he wouldn't be, like, I don't know, he wouldn't be scared of him. He'd be like, what are you going to do, dude?
Yeah, there's a different one. I don't have it there, but where Wilt and Andre are just holding him up off the ground. He's just like a little child. You decided not to put that one in? Well, this one shows more the height differential. And then there's one more. There's another one that's got the winning lottery numbers in it. Yeah, there's one with me and Liam there. Liam is a comic who's seven foot.
Look at Dusty's hand. It's at his waist. Is that Kenny DeForest? Yeah. So he's a lot bigger than you. Yeah, Kenny's above six foot. I mean, I'm 5'9".
Are your eyes closed? Average, yeah. Probably. A lot of my pictures, they are. What happens? I blink a lot. You don't believe in the flashes? Yeah, I'm a big blinker. I don't think you trust the flashes. I think that's more you go, well, I don't know what these flashes are going to say. Yeah, I don't want you getting my iris, getting my iris code. That's how they get you. Yeah.
So I don't know what I was saying before that, but all right, physics. So is Isaac Newton like the Mr. Physics? I think Isaac Newton's the good place to start. So have you heard the story of Isaac Newton and the apple tree? Yeah, it fell and hit his head or something. Yeah, that became the legend around it, but I don't think it ever hit his head, but he was home.
He was going to Cambridge. They had a bubonic plague outbreak, just like COVID. Sent everybody home. So he's walking around his childhood home, which is Woolsthorpe Manor. And he sees an apple tree and he sees an apple fall and he's sitting there staring at it. And he's like, why does it always fall down? Why doesn't it fall sideways? Why doesn't it fall straight up? It always falls down. So he's like, there must be something pulling it down.
And we know now that that is gravity, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like there's something keeping us down. There's something causing it to always fall straight down. If not, it would just fall off in any direction, right? And that tree still exists today. This is 350 years later. That tree, probably the most famous tree of all time. I can't think of another tree. I'd go see it.
Is it still growing apples? I don't know if it still grows apples, but it's been knocked over. It's been like, it's broken in half. They've replanted it. They've also cloned it.
I don't know if clone's the right word, but they've taken parts of it and they've started other trees. The little graphs. All over Europe. Yeah, graphs. That's the right word. So it's got descendants all over Europe. Clone's not real yet. Yeah. Well, who knows? Yeah. I mean, who knows? Who knows what they're telling us? Yeah, yeah. Why did it get knocked down? Did people knock it down? Well, it's just it's 400 or 500 years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this was in 1666. Like a graph of one of those trees. How do you get that? I don't know. I wonder if they let you. Like that Vanderbilt turf. Yeah. Yeah.
Kind of the same thing. Yeah. I got a branch from the Isaac Newton tree. Like Tooman's Corner. Yeah. Cambridge is a big win. They just roll it until... That's his house? That's Woolsthorpe Manor. It was just like... And there's an orchard as a part of it. I like that house. Did he come from money? Yeah, I think he did come from money. Really? Yeah.
I mean, I don't have money. The ones that have time to think about why. Exactly right. He was poor. He would have been like picking apples. He's been eating the apple because he hasn't eaten in six months. Yeah. But let's celebrate him. Yeah. You know, because he goes, you know, it makes that apple fall. You go, I don't do it. I'm just trying to.
literally survived. They're like, if I can help it, I might die on a road today. Yeah. And he goes, all right, Isaac's about gravity. Yeah. It took him. So this started him thinking about it. He didn't publish anything about this for decades, but this is what got the ball rolling. So gravity is going to launch into it. Gravity is a constant on earth. 9.8 meters per second square. That's gravitational acceleration.
So what that means is on this planet, all objects, regardless of mass, fall at the exact same acceleration. So if you drop a bowling ball in a marble at the same height, they're going to hit the ground at the exact same time. So if we all jumped off a building at the same time,
yeah my guess is you would hit first but that's that's instinct right instinct would say the bigger the guy yeah that used to be an expression you know the bigger they are the harder they fall yeah it's like no well you're gonna hit the ground at the exact same speed and the same time speed and time the four of us all with vastly different masses yeah we if we fell off a cliff at the same time we'd hit the ground at the same time but you're all three of us
But what about terminal velocity? I think Bates would get lost or ask questions on the way down. He would hit a little bit later. He would never hit the ground. He would hit something. I would bounce off something. He'd bounce off something. Something just wouldn't. Bates hit the same time they go. We don't really know where he's at.
I think I would make it. I'm like, ah, I survived and Aaron would land on me. It does depend on how light though, like a feather.
Would not fall the same speed. Right, a feather on Earth because there's air resistance. But they actually did that exact same thought experiment here. David Scott, this is Apollo 15, on the moon, he's holding a hammer in one hand and a feather in the other hand. Dang, who's videoing this? And he drops them both. He drops a feather and a hammer on the moon, and look at that.
That's it. They fall right down at the exact same speed because there's no air resistance. There's nothing. Can we get a close-up of that feather? Yeah. Well, this is a camera from 1972 or something. Yeah, something like that. I see the headphones in the reflection. And...
They really brought everything up there, didn't they? Oh, yeah. This was the first time they brought a dune buggy to the moon. So they were just having a blast up there. So this is Apollo 15. What was the first one? Apollo 11 was the one that landed on the moon. All right. That was 1969. 13 is the one that didn't make it. 13 is the one that Tom Hanks was on. So this is the fourth trip? Yeah, it must have been the fourth successful landing. So they're looking for new things to do. Bored up there at this point. I think America is bored by this point.
I think America doesn't care anymore. Because I've heard of Galileo who went up the Leaning Tower of Pisa and dropped two things at the same time. So they're doing basically that, right? They're doing that, but this is the first time it's been done in outer space. Yeah. Well, yeah, I know. I'm not saying it's not super special. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's, yeah, Galileo was doing that off the Leaning Tower of Pisa back in the day. So with no gravity or low gravity like as on the moon, that feather just falls right on down. It'll just fall straight down.
Even though there's no gravity. Oh, you think it should be slower? Well, yeah. I mean, they're popping out. Why do they fall, but then the other people jump? They're still falling. It's just the gravitational force of the moon, because it's so much smaller, is less than that of the Earth. So they don't fall...
They will fall. The moon still has gravity. Yeah. It's not a zero-gravity environment. It's just things are much lighter. So you can jump. You could dunk a basketball on the moon. Oh, yeah. For sure. From the three-point line. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe if you get a good running start. Yeah. I think David Scott now goes by Mr. Showtime and performs at a lot of the loony bins around the country. That is his name, yeah. There's a comedian named David Scott. That's who you're talking about, right? Yeah. The Midnight Swinger? Yeah.
Where's zero gravity? Like in space? Yeah, I mean, you're always going to... If you're away from any objects? Yeah, in theory, but like you're in a vacuum, then there's no... But when they're on the spaceship and they're floating...
Yeah. That's zero gravity. That's essentially zero gravity, yeah. What about this? There's still an orbit around the Earth. So you go from Earth to space, from gravity to zero gravity. What's in between there, separating zero gravity from gravity? Eight, nine, 50 gravity. Well, we just kind of pass through this barrier where there's all this gravity, and then at some point, we just kind of bloop, and now we're floating. Our atmosphere. Our atmosphere.
So what is that? Our atmosphere is all the gases that are being contained to the Earth because of its gravitational pull. But the gases can hold in gravity, but not us. No, the gases are being held in by gravity. So they reach right up to that point, and then they're like, ah, we can't get away from gravity. Yeah, things have limits, yeah. But they never... Well, there has to be a point with everything.
So there's always going to be a point. Right, but why would this get this far, get this far away from the Earth, right to the place where it's at, zero gravity in the vacuum, but then not cross over to the other side? I think it's a lot more gradual than you're giving it credit for. It's not like...
But how is it- There's a layer like an inch thick, and then you walk through and you can float. Well, that's what I'm saying though. If we can pass right through it, how does these other things not? Why are they trapped? What's trapping them? Nothing. Well, like a meteor or something? What do you mean to be trapped? Well, I mean, the globe is here, right? And there's gravity. But then, so we just-
Drift on out and then it turns into a vacuum where there is no oxygen. So just the gases are keeping in the oxygen. How come when we pass through in a spaceship, it doesn't bust open that barrier and then all our oxygen seep out? It shuts the door.
Yeah. Because he shut the door behind us. Yeah. I mean, what? We talked about this poking through. Yeah. Poking through it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think it's just, there's no actual physical barrier. There's so much gas in there that I'm sure just like, if you fly through a cloud-
The cloud doesn't disappear like an airplane. Like you just fly through it. It's not like there's a hole in the cloud and you're like, well, that airplane. So the gas is just there and you just kind of come up through it and then it just immediately seals back up. But a cloud is doing that. Yeah. Yeah.
Is a cloud not doing that? I feel like if you go through a cloud, though, the cloud kind of will disperse. I don't think so. Maybe not all the way, but I think that it will. But it still stays a cloud. And I imagine, I mean, if it expands, it just kind of comes back together. But a cloud, you fly through clouds. I mean, they don't. Otherwise, we'd go get rid of clouds. If it's a real cloudy day, you'd be like, well, just fly some airplanes around and just knock all the clouds out of the way.
They stay in the ground. I mean, that's why there's fog. Well, that's what I wonder though. When you land, it's not like you can see. Because otherwise you'd be able to see as you land because you'd be like, well, once you land, it's going to be. But that's what I'm saying though. We have this, you know, this atmosphere that has all this oxygen for us that we need. But then just beyond what we're saying is nothing.
just beyond that is a place where no oxygen exists. Right. Yeah, yeah. Well, there's got to be a point. So what keeps our oxygen in? Gravity. A dome. Yeah. The gases. So the gravity holds in oxygen too? Yeah.
Yeah, I think so. I mean, look, I think it's all kind of, it's hard to wrap your head around. That's the idea behind the idea behind a God of just being, everything feels like it's created in the fact that it's so perfect. It's so perfect.
That it's like, it's unreal. It's a, it just, nothing can work. I mean, look at everything. Like everything's perfect. You have animals that can eat these animals and there's an order of which ones can eat them. Like none of this makes sense. Is there any example that someone has created where it's gas surrounding oxygen and keeping it in?
I don't know what you mean by gas surrounding oxygen. Well, I mean, gas is... We have oxygen. We can breathe here. Yeah. And up there, you can't breathe. So how is the oxygen staying here? But does the oxygen come off like... Is it plants? Or is that... That's part of where it comes from. It comes from the ground and plants and stuff like that. I think it's like that kind of stuff. Yeah. And there's no plants up there that we know of. Well, that's true. There might be some way up there. Yeah. I don't know. I think it's...
Well, I just wonder, though, if our spaceships can just shoot right out of here. I feel like it's such a thing that unless you understood it, you wouldn't. You can't, like, we would never be able to, there's nothing that could be said here that would be like, okay. Yeah. Because it's like, I don't understand enough of it or care enough. Why do you think Jeff Bezos couldn't get out to space? They can. I think they can only go to that point. I just don't think they're going to send some of these people to space because they don't have them.
If it goes wrong, it's over. You're floating. You're gone. See you later. I think it's really, really hard and expensive to get to outer space. So what Jeff Bezos did was kind of a hodgepodge of you could float a little bit, but you're not truly in outer space. There is a... Elon Musk apparently went up and circled the Earth, right? Oh, I don't know. I don't think so. He sent a car up there. Richard Branson did something similar.
Yeah. I think it's just hard to understand. Like I get, I like, I look, I'm on board with everything. Yeah. I'm just asking. I mean, well, it's a physics episode, so I'm just trying to get some answers. Yeah. Yeah. I would love, uh, I think it's like, it's like until you, it's hard to wrap your head around it. Like it's, but that's also, but I mean, that's, that's everything in life. I mean, it's crazy that we're sitting here at a table and like we started somewhere, you know, like that's all insane. If, uh,
You know, whether people believe in Big Bang or God or whatever, all of it's insane. And it's insane that we're here. And I can't tell you exactly why we are here. Why do you think that there's nothing going on like that on Mars? What do you think's happening up there? Because they're stupid. Yeah. What do you think they're up to? Well, Mars has, what about it? Why doesn't it have- Why is there people up there? Well, no gas and oxygen. They have gas. Different types of gas that'll kill you. But no oxygen. Yeah.
Yeah, you're right. How do you think that is? But it has a gravitational force. So in theory, this is what ultimately we want to do long term is create an atmosphere over there, plant trees, oxygen grows. Would you rather live on Mars or Mercury? I'd rather live on Mars for sure. What about the tan you could get on Mercury? You could get a pretty amazing tan. How hot would it be? Is it just...
Is Mars temperature going to be good? It's very cold, I would imagine. It's cold. It's like a problem. Like you couldn't take your shirt off there right now. Average temperature on Mars is about minus 80 degrees Fahrenheit. And you'd have to live with that the whole time unless they built the atmosphere. See, that's going to make me feel weird. If you go build an atmosphere, then I am going to be like, well, why are we...
Then you question our atmosphere. You're like, so y'all just built one? Yeah. And then you're like, well, who... Did someone build our... You know what I mean? Right. How do you... Building an atmosphere...
Like that would seem. I feel like we learn how to do anything from what we already have. God created stuff, and then we learn how to do it our own way. Did you say negative 80 in Mars? Yeah, it's average. I feel like I've been to Iowa when it's negative 20. It feels like Mars would be much colder. Now, Mercury can actually get up to negative 290 degrees Fahrenheit.
Oh, it's cold there. Because, well, it can get up to 800 degrees Fahrenheit when it's straight on the sun, but there's no atmosphere to trap in the heat or retain it at all. So once it turns around from the sun, it just gets cold. That's pretty awful living environment. I mean, that's quite a range. Yeah. Well, some people go to Mercury and some not. I think the goal is, I mean, the sun is expanding and it's going to blow up, right?
After a certain amount of time, it'll just swallow the earth. So ideally, you get farther away from the sun. And we're talking billions and billions of years from now.
But eventually the sun will get so big. What's the first one? Venus or? Mercury. Mercury's the first one. Mercury, Venus. Oh, yeah. Why would we go to Venus? Well, Venus is closer to the sun. Venus is just gas, too. It's like poisonous gas. Why stop at Mars, though, if we're trying to get away? Let's go. Just hop on over. Well, it's baby steps. Yeah. It's just see if we can even do it. Yeah.
And then you got to forward your mail to Mars. If they came and said to you, hey, we got a place for you on Mars, do you want to go? I mean, how long is it going to take you to get there? To Mars? Yeah. I think about nine months. Yeah. Oh, really? Long time. Oh. Would you do it? Do you think it would be years?
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Well, I think if you go to Mars at this point, you're not coming back. That's the point is you're going to go there and start a colony there. Yeah. So it's like, do I want to uproot my life in Earth? No, I don't think so.
I don't know. You have to be the first to go, you know. Yeah, they were taking volunteers for some Mars thing where you don't get to come back and thousands of people were registering for it. Just young guys like when you were in your 20s that had nothing going on. Like, I'll go. I don't care. That's really nothing going on, though.
I had more going on than that. All right. I'm sorry I compared it to you, but it's mostly young guys. In my 20s, I would be like, is there going to be booze on the ship? And is there going to be single women? I think you should have signed up for it. And they go, why are you here? You go, because I don't believe that you even have a Mars. So I'm calling your bluff. That's what you need to say. That's how you start in. But that was not me in my 20s. But yeah, I mean, but now they would just put you on there and.
you know, fly around the, and go, Oh, we've got some complications. Yeah. I think a large part of this is that a lot of the, the principles of physics and everything else are very counterintuitive. We, we tend to experience and feel things differently. I remember one of the first like breakthrough, like, wow, I can't believe that moments was the high school physics class. Mr. Diamond, my teacher, he,
He said, if you take a gun, you know, if you take a gun and shoot it completely straight out, 90 degree angle, and you drop a bullet from the gun at the same height, at the same time as you fire the bullet, they'll hit the ground at the same time. I remember thinking, well, that just, no. Obviously, the bullet from the gun would go, you know, it would take longer to hit the ground, but they'd hit the ground at the same time. That's wild to me. Why is that?
Because the horizontal speed, which the bullet's being fired out of the gun, has nothing to do with the gravitational acceleration of the Earth. It's still going to fall down at the exact same speed. So that's where the bullets are going when they fire. They just immediately, just eventually end up on the ground. And it would take the exact same amount of time as if you just dropped it from that same height. It just fell. Because it's the same gravitational force. It's wild. Yeah. And pretty counterintuitive, I think. You gasped.
I don't know if I gasped, but I did give it like, oh. I don't think I was ever learning like that. I don't think so either. When I heard something, I never thought, man, that's crazy. I was just like, I'm here because we have to be here. We didn't have a Professor Diamond. We had a Professor Cole. You know what I mean?
Dusty school. I like this quote. This is from a physics professor, Neff Weber. Physics explain laws that govern God's creation. I think that's really clever. Neff Weber? Yeah. That's my grandfather, isn't it? I don't know. Is it? Neff Weber?
South Alabama? Yeah, that's it. Where'd you find that? On the internet. Oh, wow. That's awesome. That's your grandfather? Yeah, for sure. No, I knew it was your grandfather. I was going to say. What did he say? Is it? He was a physics professor, right? He was, yeah. Oh, we're getting more to the... Oh, yeah. Here's the Weber tree.
I looked him up. He said, physics explain laws that governs God's creation. Yeah. I think that's a cool quote. Yeah, my grandpa was very religious, but a scientist. Oh, wow. He's the one who wrote into Mythbusters, right? Yeah, he's the one that wrote into Mythbusters and he did an equation wrong. Oh, wow. Old Neff. Old Neff, dude. Yeah. That's a cool name.
It's a family name. My brother's the fourth, and he stopped. He didn't name his son the fifth. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I think you got to stop it at some point, right? Neffed? It was Fost and Neff family. Yeah.
So he had a son. He's like, I don't think I'm doing this to him, giving him this weird name. Yeah, but y'all have like a kingdom. So who's going to get it? Anything after four seems a little crazy. Could you name your son that and keep it going? Or does it have to be his son? I think you'd have to start over with my son. One. Reboot. Start over. Get it going again. Like scream? Yeah. I feel like it'd be hard to be like, if you think you're like, I do get it.
But then you also, do you want to be the one that goes, that's enough? Yeah, it must be tough. That's tough. Yeah, to stop. I mean, it's been four generations. Because you could always make it like a middle name, right? You could. Yeah, yeah. But all four generations had first and middle name, Foster Neff, whoever. Oh.
It was my great-great-grandmother. Her name was Boogie. Boogie. All right. These are some Alabama names. Yeah, that's some. Yeah, did not. She was not a part of physics. No, I don't think she was a physicist. I think me and Dusty have a lot more fun with Boogie. Yeah, yeah. She was in a fight with her husband the day she gave birth and made up a name to make him mad. Oh, wow. Made up a name out of Fostin Neff.
Two made-up words, and it just stuck. And then there's four generations of them. So she was mad at her husband and took it out on her son. Yeah. That's some very Alabama stuff. That's a way to put it. Yeah. They took it out on all the sons. Four generations. Generational trauma, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No boogie. Fosston F. P-H? F. Just Austin with an F in front of it. Oh. Fosston. Fosston. My brother went by Foss. Foss. His whole life.
Oh, it's just the firstborn. Uh-huh. Firstborn son. Yeah, so you're Aaron. Yeah. It's like, who cares? It's kind of pointless. I know. After that, they go, what do you want? He just asked you, what is your name? It doesn't matter. Let's call you It Doesn't Matter. It Doesn't Matter Weber. It Doesn't Matter Weber. I have false.
Lord Faustin's going to take over this manor. Lord Faustin IV. Yeah. I think you should name your son Faustin Neff V and just keep that going. Who's going to stop me? Right. And then take over your brother.
That's the way to get in. That's the way to get in the back door. Revenge. And then revenge. Who doesn't matter now. Yeah. Exactly. I saw a video on YouTube from Neff Weber of your brother Michael graduating inside your house. Your dad gave him a diploma.
and they're you are dressed in a lime green shirt and a green tie and green shorts wow for the graduation ceremony oh i don't remember that at all i don't also don't have a brother named michael okay i guess i'm wrong about that part yeah that's what i'm kind of being hung up on my bad i can't remember my brother daniel daniel okay you remember this vaguely i don't remember what i was wearing did it look silly it kind of looked a little silly okay but
The way he described it. We don't have to pull that up. Why is it on YouTube? I don't know. I guess my grandpa was just uploading stuff to YouTube. Okay. Yeah. You look fun. Funner. The one thing I know about physics that I've heard is an object in motion will stay in motion. Right. These are Newton's laws of motion. Three big ones. All right. An object that will remain in motion. What does that mean? It means things keep doing what they're doing.
Unless something stops it. Keep trucking on? Just keep on trucking. That was Newton's first look. Just keep on trucking on. But unless it's acted upon something. If you hit a golf ball, it's going to keep going until it hits a tree. If you hit a golf ball in space, it will keep going forever until something stops it. It's just going to keep moving and keep moving.
That's also called the law of inertia, which is, you know, inertia. Like when you stop in a car, you'll continue to fly forward because your body wants to keep. Much like in an elevator. If you jump, the inertia would bring you on down. Like, so our bodies would keep falling. If it wasn't for gravity, we stop because of the ground or gravity pulling us to the ground.
Yeah, gravity's pulling you to the ground. So like hitting golf ball on a course is it's got the gravity. Once it goes, gravity's just starting to yank on it. Yeah. Oh, it's yanking on it the whole time. Yeah. It's never not yanking on it. So that's the external force that's acting on it. Yeah. It's gravity. And there's also wind resistance.
and temperature and all these other factors. So in space, which is essentially a vacuum, none of that plays. I throw a baseball, the speed that it leaves my hand, it will just continue that speed forever until it runs into something, which is fun to think about. He's got a lot of chances. He's got,
When they say it's a vacuum, I never think I've ever realized. So space is like a, I always think a literal vacuum. A physical vacuum, yeah. It just means no external factors. Like nothing else in play. Like whenever you talk about something happening on Earth, you have to factor in, well, you know, there's gravity on the Earth. It's cloudy. Yeah, it's cloudy. There's wind resistance. A vacuum is there's nothing. Yeah.
It's literally just considered... It has nothing to do with the actual vacuum that we use. The word vacuum. But you can create a vacuum, actually, if you stick a vacuum into a tub or something and suck out all the air. Now it's a vacuum inside that tub. If you... But it has a top. You'd have to cover the top. Yeah. But there are devices where you can... You know, like one of those bags. Yeah. Those space bags. Vacuum sealed? Yeah, vacuum sealed. Anything vacuum sealed. That has zero gravity in it. Inside. Yeah.
It still has gravity. Okay. Yeah. So I guess it's not a perfect... So where did the word vacuum come from for... I don't know. Yeah. You heard that expression, though? It doesn't exist in a vacuum. Mm-hmm. That's where it comes from. Mm-hmm. Once it gets sucked up, it doesn't exist anymore. That's what I've always said. So what are the other two? Well, I was going to say another example of this is Daniel Tosh had a bit about how does Superman fly faster?
I get that he flies, but how does he... He's flying. How does he... Speed it up. Yeah, how does he speed it up? It's like that doesn't physically make any sense. He wants to go faster. Unless you're a superhero. How do you run faster? I would imagine you're running... Run faster, yeah. You're pushing off the ground harder, right? You speed it up. But what is he... Exactly. That's fun. Yeah.
making sense yeah exactly he's changing gears yeah he's a superhero yeah yeah he can do whatever he wants it's more just the most boring of them all you think yeah absolutely yeah i like him i always liked him you know i used to i used to dress up as clark kent when i was a kid not even superman i was just going to school i have i have pictures of me in like a suit and tie and i was like
five or six just like i'm clark kent and i would just say would you wear something like a superman undershirt just in case i was at work yeah oh you're at work and you were like i just wanted to be a reporter you're like nothing can happen right now yeah i'm a journalist i don't even have my stuff i don't even have i mean god forbid something happens yeah you were watching superman going change back to clark kent yeah
Watching Incredible Hulk being, be Bruce Banner again. Yeah. You want to be a superhero? No, I'm trying to be a journalist. Trying to work for a paper. You want to be like old Cinderella? Like the one that lives in the attic? Yeah. Yeah, you want to be the pretty Cinderella. Right, right. You'd be the one with the mop. Yeah, don't give me the slipper. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd be the one that has the mop and the broom, and you're like, oh, okay. Doing yard work. Yeah. Yeah, just a bunch of fun. Did you have...
So you had no fun around you? Or is it the gravity? I was trying to think of something gravity. That brings you down? Yeah. There's a lot of stuff that brings you down. Yeah, everything was bringing you down. Say fun or the gases. Yeah, you couldn't even enjoy Mythbusters growing up without your grandfather being like, I'm writing them a letter. Oh, wouldn't you enjoy it more like that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. No, yeah. You know, yeah.
something y'all talked about on the table y'all figured out together i wish i had anyone to even watch mythbusters with i'll watch it with you they're like we don't believe that stuff man what do you think happens dusty when things fall they're just heavy
Yeah, I mean, I think it's, you know, it's weight. It's heavy. It falls. Well, that's a great segue to Newton's second law of motion, which is that net force equals mass times acceleration. So that's what weight is. It's your mass times your gravitational acceleration. So mass and weight are two different things. I don't know if you said that. What's that?
No, I mean, I think, you know, but obviously material, what something's made out of has to play a role. In what? What something weighs. For sure. I saw an example of this one when I was, so in golf, if you swing a club at the exact same speed, that's the acceleration, right? Mm-hmm. You hit it with a ball, right? Yeah. If you hit a ball with iron and then you hit one with a driver, the driver's, the mass is bigger, right? Right. So the force will be more. Is that correct? Totally. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, the trade-off is you think the heavier the club, the more mass the club has, that might affect the speed at which you can hit it. Or a baseball bat, for that matter. Baseball bat, exactly, yeah. Theoretically, the heaviest bat in the world, you could hit it the hardest, but it's just impossible to swing it that hard. I would find that middle ground. Finding the sweet spot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, find...
You good, man? Yeah, I just think that's funny. Finding that middle ground. I did read where golf uses more physics than any sport. Totally. That's why I like it. Launch angles and speed. That's always been what's drawn you to it. That's always drawn to me. I go, why does the ball keep coming down? Game of physics. Even a golf ball, they said the dimples, a ball would go further through the air than a smooth ball because of friction.
Whoa. Friction with the air. Yeah. Makes the game fun when you're out there talking about this stuff. Yeah. They should make the swimmer's caps out of, like, dimpled little helmets. They should. Yeah. But then you're on to something. Yeah. Get some friction going out there. I just read something. I saw just a headline, so I have no idea if this story is real. But it was like a clickbait thing that said some swimsuits are...
You can't use them anymore because they make people too fast. Wow. Oh. That's good. Yeah, I have no idea what the basis of this is off of. Too fast. They're too hydrodynamic. We wouldn't want swimming to be too exciting. Olympic swimmers. Let's slow them down a little bit. Because of physics, they shave all body hair. They wear swim caps to cover their heads and cover much of their bodies with a specially designed swimsuit that mimics shark skin for better hydrodynamics.
That sounds like what they should outlaw. You're wearing literally shark skin. Killing sharks. Killing sharks with your bare hands. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. Well, Nate, do you have any idea what you weigh on other planets? Let's say you weigh 165 here. 63 this morning. All right. Wow, that's impressive. You would weigh 27 pounds on the moon. Oh. Which would be nice. So just move there.
If we move to Mars, I mean, which might happen in your lifetime, Nate, you'll weigh 62 pounds. That'd be nice. That would be just, and if you want to get a little idea what my life's been like, go over to Jupiter where you'll weigh 390 pounds. Wow. Well, what's going on on Jupiter? Yeah. Well, the mass, the gravitational acceleration, even though your mass is the same,
The gravitational acceleration is so much stronger that you're going to weigh more. So you can't even really walk. You're being pulled down. So stuff's going to, like, you drop a quarter, it's like, God. Hard to throw marshmallows and quarters in them. You're like, it's going to, yeah, it would just, you would never make it to the person in front of you. It'd be a nightmare. Tough to walk, even. Oh, you couldn't walk. No. You get ripped apart just by the gravitational force, I think.
The sun, you'd weigh 4,467 pounds. I assume you could stand on the sun. So Earth is just a real miracle then. It is. Yeah. Right place, right time. It's a real miracle. What was like the...
Wait, what? I'm just talking about, yeah, I mean, it's like, just worked out great here. Well, that's the... I think Earth is a miracle. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I mean, I agree. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's what it is. It's crazy that everything's so perfect. Yeah. It's, you know, and that's how, and I'm sure that's how the people that
don't believe in God or something. Like, you know, they think, well, it's like, that's why it all worked out. And it's all like, cause it's so perfect. Everything's worked out the way it's worked out. And it's, it's all, but it's all insane. You know? I don't know if you ever mentioned the third wall. No, we're about to get into the wildest one. All right, go ahead. No, we can, we can start it. What were you going to say? I just didn't want you to forget it. So people wouldn't say you never mentioned the third law. You've heard this. I'm sure for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.
which means literally any force exerted on anything, that thing exerts an equal and opposite force back to it. To me. So when you push your finger down on this table, the table is literally pushing back against you with an equal and opposite force. That's why you break your finger? That's why you can break your finger if you push too hard. If you push too hard. If you push too hard.
I don't believe that. Well, here's a good example of a lot of these things we can see better in space where there's zero gravity. So here's a video of an astronaut in the International Space Station. He's got a guy who's essentially his same mass, about the same size. He's going to push this guy forward. And you see that causes him to be pushed backward because there's an equal and opposite force pushed back against him.
So just to think that that's happening everywhere. They could figure that out on the ground. What do you mean? Just somewhere else. I mean... Oh, he's going to dunk. Yeah. Well, he shows here, when he throws a basketball forward, there's still an equal and opposite force coming back from the basketball. But because he's bigger, it doesn't move him as much as something with the same mass. Yeah. Yeah.
It's all like sounds like physics seems like something they just made up for people to have jobs. Like it's all just kind of...
It's all just kind of stuff that's like, well, he's because he's bigger. You go, okay. Yeah, that's right. No, you're right. Because of, you know, and this guy talks about it and they go, that's why we're in space. That's why it costs $800 million to come. And he goes, and then there's that. And I threw a basket. We had the basketball. We're about to take off.
He's like, the guy's got the spaceship in neutral. Why did you, you forgot the basketball? Yeah. Go back. We need the basketball. Y'all gonna play basketball up there? Now I'm gonna do a, I think I'm gonna do a force thing. He goes, what do you have to use? Like a box of cereal or something you got up there? He goes, no, no, no. You know, people know what basketballs are. I could have just used something around the capsule. Yeah. Well, he's trying to find something the same, the same mass as him. Yeah.
Well, I was talking about the basketball, but yeah. Yeah, that it's an equal force. That's cool. It's fun. It's cool stuff. So you don't believe that, Dusty? I don't know what's going on here. But you at least admit if you...
punch a wall easy and then punch it hard, it's going to be harder on your hand. Well, you know, I'm not arguing what these guys are doing, like where he pushes that guy. But yeah, I mean, I don't know. To me, it's like you don't need physics to tell you if you punch the wall harder, it's going to hurt you more.
play stupid games when stupid problems. Yeah, I mean, it's like, I don't need physics. That's the southern physics. It's like, if you break your finger because you keep pushing harder, I mean, to me, that doesn't say the tables push. Don't blame the table. You know what I mean? This is, you've done this to yourself. That's what's wrong with this country. We're always trying to blame someone else, right? Yeah, I mean, yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, obviously that guy's floating around up there, but
You know, I just, I don't know.
What about, you got an experiment coming? Oh, yeah. I do. We'll just go save that for the end. Oh, okay. Dusty's like, I was hoping it was the end. No, no. I like this. This is fun. I love to talk about this stuff. Yeah. I love fiction. Yeah. Yeah. I can't remember which one's which, and I was just hoping I was right. Fiction? No, physics. I go, this is, yeah. I love hearing your guys' dreams. Go ahead. Sounds about right. Go ahead. So here's one I have on Einstein's general relativity theory.
That talks about how the earth is spinning 1,000 miles per hour and it's going around the sun at 67,000 miles per hour, but we can't feel it, right? Yeah. Sometimes I feel it. It's because it's moving at a constant speed at all times. So if something's moving at a constant speed, you don't feel it. An example it gave, if you're on a train that's moving 100 miles per hour, you threw a ball up in the air, it's going to come back down to you.
But that ball is still moving at 100 miles per hour. So come on, Aaron, help me out here. No, I was saying, so if the earth stops spinning...
You're in trouble. If it just like suddenly stopped spinning, it would be a problem. Yeah. If you're on an airplane. Would you even realize it? If it stopped spinning? Yeah. Oh, we would fly. How fast are we moving right now? 1,000 miles an hour. Spinning 1,000 miles and then going 67 miles an hour. So imagine you're in a car that's moving 1,000 miles an hour and then the car just stops suddenly. You'll fly through the windshield. That's what everything on the earth would. Oh, poof.
because we're moving that fast. And you all have inertia. I think it's centripetal force around the core of the earth. I mean, it would be buildings would fall over. We'd fly through. If you were like in the ocean on an inner tube, that'd be a good time. You'd be like, whoa. People that have a house on the water would be like, that's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah.
It's kind of fun. That's true. Yeah. You time it out right. Yeah. It's going to be bad for a lot of you, and some of you are going to have a pretty good time. Be at Panama City Beach. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be a fun weekend. Would you go 1,000 miles away just like that?
You'd just be... I think you'd slow down from friction on the water or whatever, but we're moving 1,000 miles an hour or whatever the speed of rotation of the earth is already. So you would start moving that. Yeah, I mean, it would be... What if I started driving a car 300 miles an hour the other way where it's going to stop?
It'd be a fast car for one. Yeah, yeah. I'd have to do the math, but yeah, you could counteract it a little bit. Yeah, just hit the brakes right as the earth stopped, and you'd shh. Oh, man, that'd be great. Yeah, that'd be fun. What if you jumped like an elevator? Yeah, right at that moment. Maybe get hit by something on the way around. You land in Asia? Yeah, but you just, when you set your feet back down, you're like in. You jumped, you'd be good. Well, you're 1,000 miles. No, no, it's exactly like the elevator. You'd still fly. You're still moving 1,000 miles an hour.
You hit some mountains. Yeah. Yeah, but if we throw a 100-miles-an-hour plane, I mean like a train, you throw that ball up, and it comes to a complete stop, the ball's not going to just fall. It would just go. What do you mean? If you threw it, you're inside the train. Yeah, if you're inside the train, it immediately stops, hits a wall, so everything's going to come crashing. Well, if I threw the ball right at that moment, would the ball not hit, and then everything would knock it forward?
So like if you jumped, it's like everything around you would go spin like a record. You just and then you land and you're in like, you know, Memphis. I don't know. Yeah.
If you're on a train going 100 miles an hour and throw up a ball, it just comes right down to you? What do you mean? If you're on a train, if you're in it, and you throw it up, and it just comes right back down on you? No, no. That's why they won't let you throw balls in train. That's one of the main reasons. I don't want you to know. Because people are just reading newspaper, and they go, whose ball is this? Guys in the back of the train. Are you kidding me right now, dude? I was trying to read my physics paper.
Yeah. And then you go. It's physics for you. You can be on an airplane, though, that's going 600 miles per hour. There's no turbulence or anything. But that's, you know. A tube. A sealed. Yeah. Sealed. But I guess my point is you can. And they're not real. Go ahead. You can be moving 600 miles an hour and it could feel like you're not even moving. Right. But it's the train sealed like that. Well, I was talking more about the earth as far as it's spinning. Yeah, they can open the door of the train.
Yeah, I just wonder, though, on a train, if you're going that fast. I mean, I've never been on a train going that fast. If you drive a car 100 miles an hour, and you're just tossing a ball, it's going. Yeah, it'll still just go up like you're not moving at all. Huh. Still. If the train stopped suddenly, it'd be a whole different thing. Yes. Because everything is going. But that's what I mean. The ball would fall straight down. I don't think the ball would just jerk. So that means if the earth stopped, if you felt like, I bet it's about to happen, and you just jumped, you would be all right. I think it slams to the front of the plane.
The ball would slam to the front of the train. Because when you throw it up, it's moving at the speed of whatever. And if everything came to a complete stop. It's still moving at that speed. It just does, it lands on the different part. No, I think it would hit. It's in the air. But if you're on, I guess the wind is out there. I was going to say, if you're on top of the train and you jump, you're not landing in the same spot. Yeah, you would. Would you? Yeah. Oh, because you're moving. That's why they can fight on a train.
I mean, you've also got wind resistance. Yeah, you're going to get blown a little bit by the wind, but you wouldn't jump and then go all the way back. Oh, because you're moving, and as you jump, you're still moving. Right, right. Yeah. We're learning some physics here.
All right, we want to do this experiment? Yeah. I want to see what this is all about. Well, I have no idea if this is going to work, but this is something I read online. Some of these drinks should float. Some of them should not. You guys want to guess before we do it? I'm betting diet floats.
I'm trying to think what I would have dropped in a lake before. And if you look at the cans, I think diet floats. If you look at the cans, they're all the same size. So if you're listening, what we've got on the table here is a tub full of water, and in front of it, we've got four different caffeinated beverages. Not necessarily caffeinated, but carbonated.
Diet Coke, Coke Zero, regular Coke, and then a Pepsi. Wild Cherry. Pepsi Wild Cherry. I meant to get regular Pepsi, but I grabbed it too fast. I don't know. Wild Cherry might be a variable. Do you want to try it, Nate? I do enjoy a Wild Cherry Pepsi. Them doing the Wild Cherry Pepsi. I had a diet one I liked a lot. Even to it, I'm more of a diet. Zero Cherry Coke. Cherry Coke Zero. Cherry Coke Zero is like a dessert. You get some ice in it.
It's nice. I bet it would do better out of all these. Ooh, just, it'd suck. It floats a little. It's floating. Yeah. That's floating? I think if the tub was bigger, I think that one would float. It would float upside down. That's kind of half. Yeah. Inconclusive. I think it's showing us that they didn't fill that all the way up. Yeah. There's some air left in that. Yeah. All right. So regular coat. Regular coat. Same. So I guess it's trying to float?
I think it's trying to, but I think it's... Not enough water. So far, this has been great. Coke Zero. Coke Zero. That floats more than the other. It's floated the best. That definitely floated more. Yeah. All right. That floated the most. I think if the thing were deeper, it would be. It would work? Yeah. Diet Coke's the same way. All the same way. Well, no. You wouldn't see those two first ones? Basically the same.
All right, so that didn't work. I stopped at Kroger for nothing. They're all in there, and they're all exactly the same. Coke is seeming to drag the bottom the most. Yeah. But the rest are all the... It's basically, if I said, go grab me a drink...
And I said, give me the one that's closest to the bottom. You would be confused. Which one? Yeah. You would go and you would just, you would give up and grab whatever. Get the one that's floating. Now, I think that the Coke Zero and the Diet Coke are completely suspended. Yeah. Are they? Yeah. Okay. The Coke, regular Coke is dragging. That's kind of floating. If the bucket were deeper, we'd get a better illustration of this. So, Brian, why does the diet float in the...
Because it doesn't have sugar. Sugar is denser than water. So regular soft drinks are denser than water, but diet drinks are less dense than water. So therefore they float. I mean, this is a good episode and that's going to be the end. We saved up for that. You know what it is? It's the sugar inside of it. Well, this was the physics for kids experiment that they gave us. Yeah. Yeah.
This is how they're teaching the kids, and then when the experiment's over, they go, crack these open. I mean, I'm not saying I knew that. It's like OJ with the glove, trying it on. Always remember, people are listening. I even brought a clear container so everyone could see it. Well, it's good to know. It's good to know. Diets will float.
So you have a big trash can, and it's got ice and water in it, and someone threw some drinks in. If you're a diet drinker, you're going to not be that mad. But if you're one of non-diet, you have to dig down there. You're going to be cold. Your hands are going to get cold. If you're drinking at the beach or on the lake, it benefits you to have a diet.
So if you want to, if the water is cold enough and you're like, throw me this Diet Coke, you can throw it. I don't even catch it. I'll get it eventually. But if someone's like, you want a regular Coke? Be like, I got to make sure it hits me in the hands. Yeah, you better be a good toss. Yeah, because it's going to go right to the bottom. That's the stuff this will solve. Yeah.
I've always felt like physics was important. I think. Yeah. And now we've proved it. I think it's all, yeah, physics was like all important. It was like, I get it like Isaac Newton doing it and figuring it out because it's like, well, they didn't have TV or anything, so. Me and Grandpa Neff. Yeah. Grandpa Neff and Faustin, the old Faustins. Yeah. Faustin Neffs, Isaac Newton just out there, you know.
marveling at this kind of stuff yeah this is what y'all did at the kitchen table this is the kind of stuff we did yeah yeah you guys were playing i don't know pictionary we were drinking yeah we were y'all would just do that and go now aaron which one do you want he go cherry pepsi all right physics
That was fun, right? That was great. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. Yeah, I like this. Yeah, I liked it. We did. I think people learned a lot of stuff. And, yeah. All right. Thank you for listening, as always. We love you very much. I don't know when this is coming out, but go check us out on all the websites and all that. And truly, we love you very much. All right. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.
Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.