130: #130 Air Travel
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Hello folks and hey bear welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I am Nate Bargetti, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slate, The Greens, Zoc, Doc, Rocket Money, and Better Help. So here we are, well happy new year. Happy new year. Good to figure that out. If just to let you know, so we were with All Things Comedy.

And we're now with Audio Boom. Boom. Boom. So I don't even know if you have to know. There's not like anything changes. We're reading ads a little bit different. That's about it. But...

You know, we're excited to be on Audio Boom. All Things Comedy was awesome. It was great. It all was, they're wonderful. And then it's kind of, here we are, now at Audio Boom. Just letting everybody know exactly what's going on. No one even really knows what it means.

Yeah, I had no idea who we were with before. Yeah, just showing up. Yeah, I knew that they would retweet my stuff once in a while. And I was like, well, that's very nice of them. Yeah, all things coming is great. Now audio boom is great. That's how it goes. Yeah, it is how it goes.

Welcome, everybody. I hope you had a great New Year. Happy New Year. It's 2023. Feels like it's going to be a good year. Now, Dusty, do you celebrate New Year? What year is it at the Dusty Slay House? I don't know what year it is, but I do think that we should celebrate New Year's in April. That's what I think. Why? Well, it's a spring, right? Everything's coming to life. It's newness, right? So it's like in the winter, everything has died. It feels like the end.

But the spring, that feels like the beginning. Well, January, I think, is the beginning of the start of spring. It's like, here we go. We're ramping up. It's like, give us time. We're not going to just be like that. I also think the day should begin at sunrise.

Look, we did a calendars episode before you were here. Yeah. And what you're talking about was the Julian calendar, which I think is when... Julian McCauley made it up. Yeah. Yeah. And now we're on the Gregorian calendar. But we all said, what's something we would change? And I said, the day should start at sunrise, not at midnight. Yeah. That was mine. That's what I think. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But if you did that, you wouldn't... You would be... Like, so if you start at sunrise, you have to be working nine hours.

And if you live in Alaska where it's dark all day, there's just the same day all year. Well, that's their problem. Yeah, exactly. But I think that it just doesn't work with our system the way we have our work days. If you're just a farmer and you don't have to pay property tax. So would 1 a.m. be the sunrise? I think it's working pretty well.

I just think the day would be the sunrise. The day should start like at 5 a.m. Like that should be what we consider the next day. Oh, oh, until. OK. When the sun comes up. Yeah. Or six or whatever. Different time every day. Instead of instead of making it midnight. Yeah. But yeah, it would be hard, though, because the sun comes up.

Early here and late here. We're in a system, right, where we have to go to work and we have to be on schedules. But if we were just living off the land, that would just be easy to be, hey, a new day. A new day. We got a lot of people for that. Yeah. Yeah, it would be hard to do now. Yeah. You need organization. But I do think that they used to do New Year's in April, right? And then when they changed it, everyone that still celebrated in April were called April Fools. And then by used to was...

1500s is what you're saying. A long time ago. Yes. You're acting like, yeah. Not like last year. Not like the 80s. Yes. That's how you kind of. Yeah, that was 1582 was the last time they celebrated. Yeah. He said it like, well, you know, they used to do it this way. You're like, did they? When was that? When you were in elementary school? No, 1582. Yeah. Oh, okay. You nailed that though. I said 1500s. I,

was like wow i thought you were just but even still i've been waiting for this question from dusty my whole life i think a used to is not really subject to an amount of time you don't think so right i i don't used to is in the past uh

1582, though, is a little more than a used to. I guess... I would say used to means you should be alive. Yeah. I think you have to be alive in your used to. Or you say... Maybe we could say society used to, not we. Because obviously... How about back in the day? Back in the day feels like the 80s. That does feel like the 80s. A long time ago. A long time ago. Because I would... I think you've got to separate it. Because if your history teacher just came in and was like, so they used to have a war...

And it was the 1812 war. I don't know. Was that right? War of 1812. War of 1812. So they used to do a war in 1812 and you'd go, what? I don't, you're like, should I, that sounds like I should be, like it was that close. That would almost be like a Mitch Hedberg joke where it's like, we used to have war. We still do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, uh, yeah, I think you, I think used to, I think you got it when it's 1582 is,

We should really work on the definition of used to. I would call that the 16th century. Yes. That always confused me. The nots. How we were like in the 20th century and the 1900s. Yeah, that doesn't. It's confusing to me. That seems weird. They should switch that. Yeah. But I don't think they're going to. No. One day, they'll look back and say, we used to. You know, we used to. Yeah. We used to do that. Like, wow, what was that? 500 years ago. Yeah.

I don't think, yeah. So that's really how April Fool's started? That's what they say. It's hard to... Who's they? It's hard to find, but... Wow. The ones that decide. We all know who they is. Well, you know, it makes sense, though. Where did April Fool's come from, right? But then if you realize that... Some people say there even used to be a 13-month calendar, and they eliminated a month. I like all of the language of this, where some people... It sounds like you live in a village...

And you're like, well, some people, and by some people, I mean, you know, who's over in the tent over there. They're, they think, you know. Well, you know, people always speak in like absolutes about history. Like they really know what went down. So I like to be like, I don't know, but I've heard some things. Uh, with the days and stuff, cause I didn't know how we would get into this. I watched a conspiracy thing. Cause JFK stuff's been talked about a lot lately. I feel like, uh,

And they think one of the shooters for JFK, supposedly this one, I know it's random to get into this, but eight, they think there's like eight shooters, right?

One guy in a sewer. Never heard about that. But a guy in a sewer. But one of the guys they think actually hit JFK. I don't think you could ever guess, unless you knew in a million years, who the person could be. But it's someone we know of. It would be someone you know of's dad. Someone you know's dad. A famous person's dad. Oh, man. Let me think. So that's 1960s.

I'll say The Rock's dad. The Rock's dad. Ted Cruz's dad. Ted Cruz. Let's say Val Kilmer's dad. Woody Harrelson. Oh, wow. How crazy. See, I feel like I had heard something. And I didn't know who it was, though, but I feel like it was an actor. Yeah, how crazy is that? His dad was like a hitman in the Mafia.

In real life? Yeah. You can look his dad up on Wikipedia. Really takes some of that everyday man vibe out of Woody Harrelson. Charles Harrison. Yeah. Was an American hitman, organized crime figure. He was convicted of assassinating federal judge John H. Wood Jr. I've never heard that. First federal judge to be assassinated in the 20th century. How crazy is that? I had no idea. I'll tell you what. They've done a good job keeping that under wraps.

Yeah, Woody Harrelson just... They find out about your history left and right nowadays, and, like, Woody... Like, I'm not... You know, it's just crazy to be like, oh, yeah, your dad... I mean, you know...

I don't think Woody knew his dad. I'd imagine. That doesn't feel like a father that's there a lot. No. You know, like if he goes, what about your dad doing all this stuff? He goes, I'll be honest with you, he's a good dad. Right, right. Coach my little team. Yeah. Always around. You go, I don't know. You go, I know, but he did awful things. You're like, I know, dude. I know. I know.

But I have pancakes every morning. Yeah, he shot a judge and then came home and fixed my bike. Goodfellas. They make pancakes or something for his kids. What's the little guy's name? Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. He makes pancakes for his kids. Oh, yeah. In Goodfellas. The little guy's name. Yeah.

It wasn't Goodfellas. Maybe it was something else. He's single in Goodfellas. Casino. Casino, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. You might. Yeah. Somewhere, right? I haven't seen Casino recently. Goodfellas. I feel like someone made Pancake. Like, he's like taking his kids. You know what I mean? Mom people were. They had families, you know? Yeah.

In 1980, Harrelson had a six-hour standoff with the police, and he said, I killed Judge Wood, and I killed President John F. Kennedy. He said later, I was just saying that to buy myself some time. I don't know how that buys you any time. You know what I mean? Come get me. I'm dangerous. If you're in a standoff with the – I wouldn't say – you could yell some stuff that could throw people through some loops. You're like –

you know, uh, that was a part of the Valentine's day massacre. And everybody's like, what? And then they gotta be like, is he, is he old enough? It's just a little bit.

Some questions are being asked. I couldn't think of anything. Like a bank robbery. I would say a bank robbery. I changed the calendar. Yeah. Yeah. You could do that. Yell out facts that people don't know. Yeah. I couldn't help to notice that Dusty now has a Wikipedia page. Oh, do I? Do you really? Did you start it? I wish I knew how. I'm the wrong guy for that.

He is the youngest comedian to ever perform at the Grand Ole Opry. Well, I'd like to challenge that fact. Yeah, I wish that one would go away, really. Age 40. When did you perform for the first time? 37? Yeah, I would have been. I mean, they used to say that at shows, and I would come out. Aaron is now. And one time it was on both of your websites. Yeah.

Well, I'm going off the fact that Dusty said it. And then I was like, well, I was younger than him when I made my debut. So I've just been going off of that. Who knows if it's true? We just know it's not me. That's true. Yeah. I'm the oldest. I passed Grandpa Jones. Well, you know, people used to say that they bring me up to stage. And I'm like, I bet when you heard that, you thought I'd be a much younger comedian. Yeah. Well, then they think, well, it's the Grand Ole Opry. Yeah. Uh,

Yeah, look at that. You've got your whole bio on here, man. This is awesome. You've got a personal life section. Oh, man, what do they say about that? Slay has been sober since 2012. He lives in Nashville, Tennessee, along with his wife, Hannah, and their daughter. You think that's a little too much information up there? What are the references for his wife and daughter? Let's get your address on here, too. A little too much. Oh, a little Nate Land podcast shout-out there. Congrats, dude. This is a big step. Getting a Wikipedia page. I'm going to make so many edits to this later. Oh, do it. Please do.

Beef it up. I like it. Good stuff. Congrats, man. I said that with no emotion. I was just trying to move on. But it's, yeah. No, it is. It's very cool when someone makes a Wikipedia page. You had a big Titans game that you did. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was at the, I went to the Titans. Oh, yeah. Look at, they wrote us in the T-Racks game.

T-Rack. T-Rack. And then the back of the car. And yeah, it was awesome. That picture is great. I love the comments on that. That's the Titans Twitter and the comments. Waving to Brian Bates' comic up at the top. It does look like you're waving to him in the cheap seats. It was. I was waving at him high. I got my binoculars. Was that Nate? Yeah, it was awesome, man. And they got a...

They were very cool doing that. I'll tell you what, getting traffic, getting to the Titans game, wow. We left at 5. That was at 6.45, and I think we left at 5.15. In front of your old apartment, I got out and walked to the stadium. So wherever that is, James Park. Where is it? James Robertson. That's 5th and Main Street.

Fifth and Main. Yeah. But James Harpston becomes Main Street right there. Oh, okay. So it's like right there. So I'm not even, I'm on the opposite side of the interstate. And I, it was me, Harper, and Lauren. It was six, I think it was 630. So it was an hour and 15 minutes. And we were just, and I mean, basically all of it was spent just there.

And, uh, so then we had to get out and I just grabbed Harper and then me and Harper went. And then, I mean, I basically walked in and just got on that thing and then just drove around. I mean, it was like that quick. Yeah. And Laura did not get to the, cause we were, he was very lucky. I didn't meet the president, Burke, uh,

Burke Newell. I can't remember. Nihil? Nihil. You motioned to the picture like that's the president. That is the president. The T-Rex. The mascot. The raccoon. Burke, wonderful. Wonderful guy. He's the president of the Titans. It was very fun being up there with him. And he came to the show and I got to meet him. So we were in his suite. So then...

Laura didn't get into there until like 7.30. We left at 5.15. Oh my gosh. Yeah. It was that tough to get in. I met Amy Strunk, the owner. Very nice.

Yeah, it was cool. Seeing the game was, you know, we had a good going. Josh Dobbs, that makes it fun. Yeah. It makes it, you know, next week. That dude's a rocket scientist. Yeah, isn't that crazy? If people don't know that, like the quarterback that they put in with the Titans right now, Josh Dobbs, he played at Tennessee, which, you know. That's tough. That's tough. But he is a rocket scientist.

Like that's, you know, cause they say it's hard to learn a play book and you're like, but with him, you're like, well, he can figure it out. He'll be all right. Yeah. Yeah. That's so, yeah. Rocket science. Yeah. So it was great. The whole, uh, uh, I gotta do a little thing with do perfect, uh, to promote the special January 31st, Amazon prime. Uh, and, uh, but the, yeah, the game was, the game was awesome. And then, uh, next day went to Toronto, uh,

For New Year's Eve, Toronto, so great, so nice. They were just, the crowds were so nice. And got to celebrate New Year's. Yeah. That's awesome. That was it. Yeah, I was off. I was home with my family, first Christmas with my daughter, and it was great and a great time. Yeah. That's about it. Yeah. There you go.

Lighten it up. Did you ever think when you were younger, you'd be living this crazy life that you're living right now, too? Just rockstar. That's so long ago. That was... What were we saying earlier? 1500. I used to. Back in the day? Back in the day. Did you used to think... You could say that about your life. Did you used to? It's that long ago. Did you used to think...

Back in the day. Back in the day. Now, I remember the wrestling episode. You kind of made fun of wrestling. Did I? I feel like you did. A lot of people said you did. Oh, I got a little bit of flack for it. Yeah. But I was, you know. And what'd you do last night? I went to Monday Night Raw. Wow. At Bridgestone. Wow. It was awesome, dude. All right. I got swept up in it immediately. Live wrestling is the best.

it was, uh, my favorite part was Hardy. You know, there's another country singer, Hardy. Yeah. He's yeah. He's in the audience and they kind of cut to him a couple of times on the big screen. Everybody goes, Oh, that's Hardy. And at one point there's a brawl going on, you know, the announcer tables flipped over. It's just chaos. And Hardy's has a guitar somehow. And he's trying to, he's trying to give one of the guys a guitar to hit the other guy with. And I'm thinking, Oh man, they're going off. Hardy's going rogue over there, you know? Yeah. So,

So then they ignore him. They go back into the ring. And then all of a sudden Hardy jumps out of the crowd into the ring and hits the dude with the guitar. I don't know what's happening. It was just like a million things happening at once. It was a blast. Yeah. Crazy. They used to be Jeff Jarrett's thing. Hit people with a guitar? Yeah. And before that, it was the honky-tonk man. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, you guys know. I was going into it completely blind. Do they say who Hardy is? Does everybody know who Hardy is? I felt like a lot of people there knew who he was, but they put his name up on the thing. And he just had like Song of the Year or something with the weight in the car where he beats up, supposedly beats up a guy abusing a woman. So it's probably like. He wrote a song about himself beating up a guy. I think he's playing a character in the song. Oh, yeah.

It's called Hardy. Yeah. I don't think it's autobiographical. I think it's, yeah. It's called like, Wait in the Car or something. Wait in the Truck. So the song's about... Wait in the Truck. Yeah. The song's about a girl. He sees a girl at a gas station or something and she's been beat up. So he drives to her house and beats up her boyfriend. Goes to prison for it. Yeah. And doesn't regret a single thing. In the song. In the song. And then he's saying, Lord, have mercy on me. Have mercy on me. Have mercy on me. I mean...

That sounds like it. And then he's at Monday Night Raw beating people up with a guitar. It was awesome. I realize I say guitar wrong. I say... You say guitar? Like, get out of here. Get out of here, guitar. How do you say it? Guitar. Guitar. Guitar. I say guitar, too. Guitar. Yeah. Daddy, get the guitar out. That's people, you know. Y'all didn't have TV back then. So the song is he...

He, there's a song that he, that he sings. It's, it's, uh, it's with him and Lainey Wilson. And it's kind of a back and forth. She has a verse. She's the one I got. She's, she plays the character of the woman that he protects. Yeah. Yeah. She was bruised and broke from head to toe with a tear in her bloodstained shirt. She didn't, she didn't tell the whole truth. She didn't have to, I knew what happened to her. I didn't let her down with questions. You know, she'd been through a lot. I just threw it and drive, looked in those eyes and asked her where he was. So then he shows up.

And he says, wait in the truck. Didn't try to hide my pistol. I didn't even try to run. I just sat on the porch smoking one of his cigarettes, waiting for the cops to come. So it's like, it's kind of a...

Like Johnny Cash, or I don't know, like didn't he, I don't know. I don't know, man. Boy named Sue? No, it's like I was thinking he killed a man in Reno just to watch him die. Like that's cool. Yeah, this is like... It's cool to kill somebody for no reason, but to do it to avenge somebody is not cool? No, it's just the idea that you're like, all right, like this woman got beat up and he's like, I'll go take care of it. And you're...

So then he goes and I get like that. I get that's a fun line. Send the ports smoking one of his cigarettes and waiting for the cops to come. Yeah. You're OK. That's a great. And then he goes to prison rather than encourage the woman to just leave the guy. Well, he killed the guy. It happened at once. She can leave him and he can take care of it. Yeah. But now he's got to go to prison. Now he goes to prison. What is that? What does she do?

Does she move on? She takes a stride. She comes to visit him in prison from time to time. I would imagine in this scenario, she might have got back together with that first guy. And then he goes, what? He goes, well, he's changed since you did that. So he didn't kill him.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's dead. The guy's dead. He said, I might be here forever, prison. It ain't paradise, that's true, but it's a whole heck of a lot better than the place I sent him to. Oh, okay. He took the guy out. Yeah, but you would think... We're assuming. We don't know where that guy went. Yeah, and you would say... That guy had one rough night. He may be in heaven now. Yeah. We don't know. And you could probably handle it. Why didn't you just beat him up? Why did you have to go as far as to...

Just go talk to him. Yeah. I like to think this guy's been given a lot of chances. Yeah. This guy, maybe it's the last straw type situation. You know, this isn't the first offender. This is a guy who's. It's the, I don't know. It's making, it's just, it's the celebration of, it's a scenario where it's like, it's not supposed to be about you. It should be about her. And it becomes about him.

That's what I did. It's like I went and handled it. So now the story is not even on the situation. It's like, look at me. And then I went and did what's supposed to be done. I was thinking about that a lot. And weirdly enough, like last night,

with the Monday night football game, right? The Buffalo bills. It's, I don't know what that guy's shape is today, but it was like crazy to see what happened. Right. And it was about that guy and that family and like all that. And then I was watching the coverage of it too afterwards. And it's just kind of like, I don't know. It's, it's a lot of people talk about their feelings in that time. And I didn't like that. Like, it's like my, you know, it was like a lot of denouncers were, uh,

Not the announcers. I actually think they did great, Joe Buck, because it's a crazy situation. Then they go to ESPN and then they start, you know, it's all this. And it's it's they keep saying it's about it. All we want is the Hamlin. They want him to be healthy. But then it's also like, you know, you just sit here and watch him. Then they tell you from their perspective of watching the game.

And it's, I don't know. Well, it's a fine line because if I can't talk about how I experienced it, I have nothing to contribute. Because they should all just agree, like, we can sit here and kill dead air for a long time. Yeah. It's just...

We got nothing to say. They just analyze it to death. They could just cut to another show. I agree. Yeah, it's like what they did with – Joe Buck and them did it. They came back and they go, there's nothing to update, nothing to say. We're going to go to commercial. They just kept going back to commercial. Cut to that Burger King commercial. Then they go to ESPN. This sounds insane.

And I don't, but it's like, then there, you can see like Adam Sheffer, like is almost crying a little bit and all this stuff. And you're like, I just don't, I don't like that. I don't, it's like, you take it. Like, I don't want to watch you cry. Like, it's like, I think about that guy's it's like, think about that guy's family, whatever. The second you do that stuff, I think it becomes about, it's like, it's a little you and it should be like that. Like show those players.

And show those, you know who went to the hospital last night? The fans.

The fans of the... Bingle fans and stuff, they went to the hospital where he was at. The game ended and everybody just went home. It's like about... Like the fans, that's not about... It doesn't feel like it's about them. The fans are like, okay, it's a Monday night. They have to go to work the next day. The game gets canceled and then it shows Bingle fans outside of that hospital praying with candles and that kind of stuff. It's like... It just made me... It's like... It's a...

I think it's all those fans. I hope people remember that. You're the ones that are the reason

the earth is awesome. It's the, those fans, the fans that go there and about them, not these announcers, not these, like all these other that are just trying to like, I feel like trying to even act like they have emotion about any of this stuff. You know, they're, it's like they wanted updates and I don't, I don't know. I just, it's hard for me to like,

listen to the it's like I'd rather just listen to the fans experience of it or the you know because it's like that really you're really experiencing it versus someone on TV that's just like

I don't know. And if you don't want the airtime for it, they would just show something else. Yeah. But they didn't know what, and they didn't know what to do. I didn't like, and then they start talking about like the NFL, like being like, just cancel the game. Why didn't they just cancel? You're like, this is all happened. No one, they canceled the game. Yeah. I don't, you know, it's like they start then blaming someone. You're like, I imagine I, it's insane what's happening. So we don't, you, it's, it's all being figured out kind of in that time. Right. Uh,

And then it's like, I don't know. Then it's like some of the... It's like they showed a little bit of the Bengal fans going to the... The regular fans that paid $200 for a ticket then go to a hospital to support the opposing team's guy because they get it. They actually get it. Like, they... Like, that's what it... Like, it's like...

all of them are together. And like, it's like the, it's the regular people. I don't know why. That's why this, some reason rubs me the wrong way of like, just it being written in this way that you're like, uh,

Yeah. Imagine the guy inside. The guy in the house might not even know why that guy's there. He's like, this is a break-in and entering situation here. Yeah. The girl's still in the truck. He's got no idea why that guy's there. Yeah, it's like...

lunatic this is not yeah yeah well good you know he's in jail forever but what does hardy look like he looks a little bit like dusty honestly like a guy that would do this i've nothing gets hardy no hardy's you know play the character in the songs but he looks a little bit like uh oh yeah some dusty slave vibes there for sure yeah that is true all the time yeah that guy went and beat up yeah because i yeah i was supposed to i couldn't sing a song like that anybody believe it yeah

I want to see what he looked like. Yeah, I don't know if that guy would be a good guy. Maybe Tom Hardy, as you have known. Yeah. That guy looks cool. Yeah. It is if you ever... It's a fun song. Yeah. How people think y'all look alike. I see it. Well, I don't get the comparison a lot, but people do say it sometimes. Oh, I could see it. He has a white hat that he wears sometimes. Yeah, if you trimmed it up, if you, you know... But I don't, yeah, I don't want to look like that guy. No, no, no.

You would be... Yeah, I mean, I feel good. I like where I get going. You know what was a very odd kind of dark moment at the Monday Night Raw last night? Was while everybody's getting updates about Hamlin getting hurt in the game, there was like a storyline going on in the wrestling match that a character was being evaluated for medical treatment. There's a girl who got a nosebleed and they carted her off and they kept giving updates like she's being seen at the medical tent right now. And then we're all looking at our phones like...

This is happening in the game. It made it seem so silly. Yeah, it made it like, yeah, yeah, man. In professional wrestling, when someone really gets hurt, no one knows. Is this a storyline? Because there's a lot of storylines where they...

Bring in an ambulance and stuff like that. Owen Hart died, like for real, in a wrestling match. During a match. And they kept going. They didn't cancel it. They didn't show it. I remember watching that. He fell. Yeah. From a thing. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, last night, that was something, man. Like, it was...

I really do hope that guy. And then it was like his toy charity thing got – I don't know. Was it well over a million? Over a million last I heard. It was a goal of $2,500. Yeah. And the last time I looked, it was well over a million. Well over a million. You know what I mean? Like that's – you know who does that? You do. You listening to this. That's who does that. That's like – that's the point. Like that's the – it's like it's all – it's us together. Like it's like that's what makes –

I don't know. I could be wrong on all this. I have no idea. I think

I think I have a weird relationship with TV stuff. Like, I don't – I just – it feels all fake to me. More than it ever has. I get that. I don't think they care. I don't think they – I think stuff – People crying on TV. I hate it when sports people cry. It's a side shit. I mean, like, if you win the game and you're excited and you shed some tears, okay. But just these people – Well, not the athletes. Right. But it's like – yeah, the – like the –

you know, it's like they got to bring themselves like, right, dude, we're all part of this. We covered this. So we're the same as you. And you're like, no, dude, have some separation. Like be, you know, it's a, I don't need every person on your, every ESPN person to be like,

Well, here's my feeling. I just think about... Because I don't believe it. I don't think you... It's like, I'm not buying it. If you have a 24-hour sports channel, that's the problem. You either got to show highlights of other games, which some people will say is insensitive, or you got to hear stuff like this. You got to see people crying. Yeah. Sports, it's either highlights or tears. Oh, yeah. The highlights, dude. They're showing... The other night I had on ESPN Late, and it was...

Just the most... It was, oh, the Jimmy V, like, you know, his famous speech, which is, like, great. It was two hours of those speeches. Yeah. At midnight. What are you... I mean, they're all... Like, are you crazy, dude? It's, like, how depressing can you make life? It was like that, and then the... What's his name? Stuart Scott, like, his speech, too. It's just back to back. Yes, and the speeches, I understand it. I under... But, like...

You also got to go your entertainment. Entertainment. That's what the E stands for. Yeah. Don't, you can't just be like, I'm sitting on a couch like, oh my gosh, dude, this is so heavy.

Yeah, it's YouTube for highlights for me. ESPN is all emotion now. Everything. It's always a storyline. They're always like, oh, this game means this to this guy because of this that happened to him way back. And it's like, well, it maybe means something to him just because he's an athlete and he wants to win. Yeah. Yeah. No, it does.

Let me read the first comments from you guys. Yeah, I hope I didn't. The people. The people. I love the people. I'm having a great time. I'm about the people. We never got to... We got everyone except you.

Okay. What have you been up to? Oh, I went to Canada for Christmas. Okay. Let's do the comments. It was great. And then I went to Raleigh, North Carolina for New Year's. Which is your Canada. It is. Yes. Yes. And Canada was great, by the way. I do love Canada. I've been to Toronto a bunch of times. Very nice. We went further north. Very cold. It was great. And then Raleigh was – I did New Year's at Raleigh. I did a countdown. Okay.

Lots of people said hey to everyone here. Oh, hey. So, yeah. A lot of hey bears. Hey bear. And they were pumped. That's awesome. And my daughter had a stuffed bear last night that she kept saying hey to me with. So I was saying hey bear. Yeah. To the bear. She kept going. She was holding it. She's a fan. Yeah. That's all we want. Yeah. Get them young. That's what this is. Hashtag AG1. I just drank it.

I don't know if that's a hashtag. Should be. Should be. Texas comments. That was fun, though. Yeah, it was good. Vincent the Texan. As a native Texan and San Antonian, I was filled with immense pride hearing my city get a shout-out almost immediately on the pod. Thanks for that, Big Tex Bates. Wow, that's the most positive one I've ever heard. Also, thanks for teaching me neat facts. I've...

Never knew, like the smallest skyscraper and the helium up in Amarillo. I'm adding that to my Texas history knowledge. I think we need a Texas part two for barbecue, sports legends, the Alamo, and more. Yeah, a lot of Texans said, hey, our state's too big just for one episode. We need a part two. As big as Europe, right? Probably. No, I think it's bigger than all of Europe. Okay. Which is...

When people always say, like, we should be like Europe, you're like, well, our one state is as big as all of you. Or maybe Alaska. You think Texas is? Look it up. I'm almost thinking. Did you get a new laptop? No. Oh. Is it a different color or something? I don't think so. I've had this case for a while. Is this a cover?

Yeah, it's just a little... Maybe that's why the case. No, Europe is significantly larger than Texas. Europe has an area of 10 million square kilometers. Texas has only 695 square kilometers. So, 695,000, I should say. Maybe we should be like Europe then. What do I know? I bet Europe... Maybe it's like England. Maybe Texas and England. I bet Europe would have known that. Yeah.

Just the whole continent. There's a reason in my head. Yeah. Who knows? I mean, it's as big as America, basically. Texas is barely bigger than Italy. Yeah. It's funny, but none of us knew for sure that that was the case. It sounded good. Yeah. All right. Well, learn something every day. I think I've said that a few times. Well, maybe. Would Alaska be about the size of Europe?

Yeah, but Alaska's just land. What are we comparing it to? I don't even know. Well, I think it's... Well, Alaska, though, is so... It doesn't count? Yeah, well, it's so... Like, there's nothing there. So here's an overlay of Alaska. Alaska's bigger than France and Germany and, you know... It's closer. Covers a lot of width. Yeah. Portugal all the way out to Russia. All right, there goes that. Yeah.

uh not russia richard smith so thankful nate came out to west texas and hope to see all of you out here soon nate nate murdered and so did dustin but the absolute best part of the lubbock show was when mick turned the crowd 100 against him in 18 seconds into his set when he praised lubbock as the home of the texas a&m university aggies i love that richard saw this it was uh

Yeah, we... You know what's the... Nick, because we were talking in the car, Dustin thought... We were like, they go, Texas A&M is here in Lubbock. And then I was like, oh, okay. And then we said something to the lady, the driver, the runner we had. And I think she...

said something to me. It was like one of those, I don't know if anybody really knew what anybody was talking about. I remember seeing a sign that said Texas Tech is this way. And I was like, I didn't really think, but they were in the middle of talking about Texas A&M, so I didn't really think of it. So Nick goes out and then just starts talking about Texas A&M. Dustin also talked about it, but did it in a way where I think people were confused. They didn't know if he was...

Like he was making fun of it because we were in Texas Tech or whatever. But it was very – Nick brought it up immediately that – I mean, he walked out and just immediately just brought up –

Good to be here, Lubbock. Lubbock, Texas A&M Aggies. What did they do? Did they boo? I think you got some boos and some, like, just a lot of confusion. I mean, college football is so intense on stage. Yeah. Especially in Texas. Well, especially when you mention the wrong place. Yeah. And, you know, that's like, yeah, I mean, it just kind of came out of nowhere. Yeah.

And that is very funny. Yeah. We didn't realize. I didn't know that he said it. So it wasn't until afterwards that we. Yeah.

Jennifer Wiley Wright. I love this podcast so much. Only on Nate Land do the hosts go from talking about passports, the Rolling Stones Sports Center, their love of cake, comedy gigs, chocolate, chili, spaghetti, and finally Godzilla in less than 20 minutes. I love you guys so much and hope you all come to Wichita, Kansas in the near future. Yeah. I'll be back there. I don't know, next year. But yeah, Wichita is still one of my favorite. I love Wichita. Great show in Wichita.

I was just there. I was just there. Didn't see you, Jennifer. Well, she knows what shows to go to. Garrett S. I like that Aaron said the Cancun show was on his calendar for a year and he waits until the final day to try and get his passport. He really is a man of the people. That's how I live. Seat in my pants. There you go. Biggest show of his life.

It was. Yeah. Find your niche. Niche. Love how Nate's love of McDonald's has influenced how he now pronounces Mick Jagger to Mick Jagger. Oh,

Did you realize you were doing it? Mick Jagger? Yeah, you were saying Mick Jagger. Like it was a burger called the Mick Jagger. The Mick Jagger. The Mick Jagger. That's a burger that'll cut you. Get the Mick Jagger, but be careful. Yeah. They put stuff in it. Yeah. Be careful. Scott Speed. I like how Nate refers to the Rolling Stones as Mick Jagger's band that keeps playing so he can clear the building. Yeah.

Remember that? Oh, yeah. Because his band. Yeah. You were saying how he leaves the bank. But you're talking about the greatest band of all time. The Rolling Stones? That's the band? Yeah. Well, they become the band. Yeah. Yeah. You quickly become just the band. I mean, you got to be like, yeah, we're Rolling Stones. And you're like, yo, dude, we're in the band, too. He's like, yeah, I'm Mick Jagger. Mick Jagger. I'm Mick Jagger. Mick Jagger. So I'm going to get on out of here. And they go. Yeah.

Keith Richards. Yeah. Oh yeah. Keith Richards. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. They're like the most famous band of all time. Maybe there's just slowly. No, I know that. Yeah. He's, they've been a man. They've been touring forever. Tell you what, uh, touring forever. Make sure you go out this weekend and catch one of Tom Hanks, new movies.

He's got another one out. I don't get it. Otto. Tom, I just think that... Oh, he's got too many movies. It's the same people in every movie. I'm sorry. Are you talking about Pinocchio or A Man Called Otto? Yeah, two movies. I'm pumped about both of these, man. Finch, New World. I mean, he's got three movies that came out in 2022. Tom Hanks, been around for 1,000 years.

The Pinocchio thing is too hot. And I'm a big Tom Hanks fan. How old is he? 66. I'm a big Tom Hanks. This is not against Tom Hanks, but it does seem. I was like, of course. I watched Elvis, too. I don't know if I liked it.

I won't watch it. Yeah. Everybody loved it. Justin Smith loved it. Told me to watch it. I just didn't like the way it was. I haven't seen it. I didn't like the way it was done. Yeah, I won't watch it. It was done. The way it was told, it was kind of a back and forth. And to me, Elvis' life after going there, his life is so crazy. You want to be like, just do the movie. It was kind of done in a different kind of way. Mm-hmm.

Like an artistic kind of way? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I thought someone would see it. Y'all should watch it and let me know. You say artistic? Artistic. Artistic. That's what I thought. Yeah. Do it in an autistic way. Yeah. That's what I thought. Now, why are you guys not a fan of Tom Hanks?

No, I am a fan. I know you are, but these guys have said previously they're not. Okay, I mean, I like old Tom Hanks, but Tom Hanks is in everything. It's too much. It's like, I don't need to see Tom Hanks every other day. And I also don't like- I mean, dude, look at how many movies has he made since, like, go up. I mean, I understand all of them in his print. Now, go right there. 2013. So, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 7.

16 movies since 2013. So 10 years he's done 16 movies.

I mean, Tom Hanks was at- And he's the star of 16 movies. Tom Hanks was at the Ryman one time while I was there. Yeah. And I did a joke where I said I look like Tom Hanks. I look like Forrest Gump after he ran for a long time. And I was told that he really enjoyed the joke. I've met him, and he was the best. He's so nice. He's the best. But you were about to say the real reason you don't care for him. No, no. Okay. There was a second thing you were about to say. I could tell it was going to be a little conspiracy theory. No, I just think he's in too many things. He killed JFK. Yeah.

That would have been next on the list. Woody Harrelson. I would think, well, maybe Frank Hanks, whatever Tom Hanks' dad name is. He had a stretch from 92 to 2002 that is just unreal. Yeah. This string of movies, League of their Own, Sleepless in Seattle, Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Apollo 13, Toy Story, Saving Private Ryan, You've Got Mail, Toy Story 2, Green Mile, Castaway, Road to Perdition.

That's pretty crazy. Yeah. All great. All in a row. And then the next one up there is... Catch Me If You Can. Coen Brothers movie, I think, right there. The Lady Killers? Yeah, that one was really good. Terminal was great. Terminal was great. People hate the Terminal, but I liked it a lot. I loved Terminal. Polar Express is like one of our... We watch it every year.

But yeah, you know what? I think Tom Hanks is great, but they just try to make him like the ultimate, like just good guy. I mean, he was very nice, but it's just like, I don't know. He is that nice. Let me see him be a bad guy in a movie. That's what I want. Give me bad guy Tom Hanks. I don't think you're going to believe it. I'm sure they tried. He's in Killing Lincoln. Is it? I don't know. It just says it. There's movies. He's solely... I mean, he is... He's, I guess, probably the best...

He's the greatest actor of our generation. Yeah. Or maybe of all time, right? I don't think we're all the same generation. That's why I quickly changed it to all time. The look on your guys' face was like, buddy, we are from different generations. I guess it would be of all time. I'm not going best actor of all time. Who else would you say? I don't know. There's better people, though, I think. Joaquin Phoenix. Robert Duvall. Robert Duvall. I love Robert Duvall.

Robert. Yeah. But you got to look at his movies are just the best talking about commercial success and just cultural impact. Yeah. Hard to beat Tom. It's hard to be. He, yeah, the, the, the, the, these are Oscar movies and they mass appeal. I'll be honest with you. They should put them in more.

Yeah, I mean, you've really started talking him up. We've turned around here. We've turned around. You know what? There's not enough that he's done. I mean, his Wikipedia says American cultural icon. That's not on your Wikipedia yet, Dusty. Well, I'm not saying I'm the greatest actor. I'll put it on there tonight. No, no. I'm just saying that's pretty crazy that's on there. But, you know. Yours would just say American cultural. Yes. And then it would stop. Yes. Yeah. I mean, I'm not comparing myself to Tom Hanks, but he's not the greatest actor of all time to me.

Yeah, Forrest Gump, yeah. Forrest Gump, incredible. But who's, would you even be able to say someone?

Yeah, I mean, there's so many great... Batman. Steven Seagal. Jack Nicholson. Brad Pitt's a great actor. I'm a big Brad Pitt fan. Denzel Washington. I have a friend that just worked with Brad Pitt. He's a writer, and he came on something, a show. I think it's a surprise, so I don't know. But he just came in and did an episode, and he said Brad Pitt was the best.

Like just, he goes, he goes, I mean, just the, just such an awesome dude. And like, just talking to everybody, like very, like I think would, you know, make fun of himself and like, and just walk around and be like, what's up? You know, like one day he said he was just sitting in like,

video village or whatever they call it, like where you sit behind the screens, you're looking and he said, he just walked in, he goes, what's up, man? And he just talked and he said he was awesome. Yeah, that's great. He goes in, you get it. Like you're,

It's like when you're around him, you're like, yeah, dude. That's why you're a star. I just watched some movie on a plane about him on a train. It was some bullet train is what it was called. Yeah. It's great. I didn't even hear about the movie, but Brad Pitt's so great. Also, Tom Cruise is great. I agree. Tom Cruise is great too, but there's...

I would almost say they're a little different. Tom Cruise is the greatest movie star. Yeah. To me, he's different. But Tom Cruise had real deal movies. I mean, he has, yeah. But then he just became an action star. Even people like character actors, like John Turturro, Steve Buscemi. Well, I guess you would say Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis, really great. Best actor of all time. Just not a ton of things. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yes, those are the best actors. And then Tom Hanks. Joaquin Phoenix. But Tom Hanks is that...

You done commercial. You're that good of an actor. And to have the mass appeal is very hard to do. There's not like Daniel D. Lewis can't go host Saturday Night Live or something like he's not. He's you know, it's like that's just but that's not what he does. It's like he's like he's like a.

just a straight actor like you didn't lose you might walk up and you're like he's in some weird broadway play and like yeah you know but tom hanks is but tom hanks could do that broadway play and host it like but he's never really done a successful bad guy that's what i'm saying i mean show me bad guy tom hanks uh i'd have to look i mean i bet someone we're see someone's gonna say he was a hitman in road to perdition but he was still a good guy yeah hmm

But like a Jack Nicholson, for instance. Jack Nicholson plays good guy and bad guy. Road to Perdition, I think, is a movie that me and Laura, she thinks she saw it with me. I've never seen it. And she tells me I was there. And I say, I was not there. I've never seen that movie. You could have been there and just tapped out. I don't know. I don't believe that.

Leonardo DiCaprio. The top of Tom Hanks' Wikipedia page, it says this article is about the American actor. For the seismologist, C. Thomas C. Hanks. That's tough for this guy. Yeah. This guy is good enough at seismology.

That he has a Wikipedia page, but he's Tom Hanks. His whole life, everyone's disappointed. What is that? I think it's like earthquakes. Oh. Like a seismograph. Because I do earthquake stuff. Yeah. Because I'm pretty great at it, though. You go, no, I bet you are, but you're not Tom Hanks. You know what I mean? I bet his name was Tom Hanks until Tom Hanks came along. Now he's Thomas C. Hanks. Yeah, you got to differentiate. So he just tells you how big the earthquake was? Yeah.

And you don't hear about it. Really greatest seismologist of all time, they say. Of our generation. He goes, that was a big earthquake. And they go, yeah, yeah, I'll wait until I watch Tom Hanks do it in the movie. If they ever do a movie about Thomas C. Hanks, it should definitely be Tom Hanks to play him. Oh, yeah. I agree with that. That was hard to say. A little tongue twister. It is. Yeah. Yeah.

Stuff we didn't get to in the 2022 comments. This is the comments from that. Cameron, the fact that people are literally texting comments to Bates directly is the most Bates thing to happen. Yeah, I had to take my phone number off that day. The fact that he's responding to all of them is the most Bates thing. Yeah, he loves it.

Sean Toblin. Tobin. Tobin. Tobin. Sean Tobin, I bet. Dusty coming up with his genius math in one breath. Dusty. I read that like Thomas C. Hanks. Yeah. And they go, ain't no Tom Hanks. Dusty.

Coming up with genius math in one breath, then saying that he likes to think aliens are less smarter than us in the next breath is peak Nate Land podcast. Well, I don't know. I just don't know why we always assume that we're the dumb species of the universe. Like we're like, oh, if aliens came here, they're just brilliant, man. And we're just. I think it's because they came here. I would say the thinking is in order to get all the way to Earth, you had to have had access to some technology. We have to know something we don't.

To be able to get all the way here. I mean, I guess. But what, you know, like, let's say this. Like, you know people that are, like, really smart at one thing, but then not smart at another. So maybe the aliens are really great at space travel. Yeah, but they're real socially awkward. Yeah, they show up and they're like, what's, you know, they can't handle anything. What if they're all Forrest Gump? Yeah, exactly. Forrest Gump, you would, you know, you're like, well, I don't know if that guy's the, right? He's not the smartest guy in the world, but he...

he got farther than everybody else. He gets things done somehow. Like it's just an alien on a ship going, and then one day I just started flying. Yeah. I didn't know why. I just started flying. And then there's all these other aliens following him. He gets to Earth. He's like, I'm tired. I'm tired. I think I'm going to go home. Jenny. Yeah. Colin O'Neill. The math that Dusty discovered is called digital root math.

It also works with multiplication, subtraction, and division for all non-negative numbers. It's a negative. It's a mean number. It's a doubter. It comes in the number three that's like, well, everything's not so great. You're like, oh, gosh. It can be used to check your work on a math equation. If the root numbers on both sides are not the same, you know you made an error. Also, the plot of Good Will Hunting now seems more realistic. Yeah.

Well, you know, Aaron posted a clip of that on his Instagram, and we were taking a lot of heat. Oh, my gosh. People were so mad at me for just thinking of this thing.

Well, it was, it was, uh, it's a good example. We talked about this before when something you post online gets outside of your world. So it got, I mean, it has over a million views on Tik TOK. I got a bunch on Instagram. People have no context for what this podcast is or who any of us are. And I did edit the video for comedic effect. So it makes dusty look, you know, a little silly. I might want it to look funny.

But the amount of just mathematicians apparently who saw this and are half of them say what Dusty said is wrong.

Right. People were saying this doesn't work. Right. And it works every time. The other half were going, this is so obviously true. You guys are idiots for having to even point it out. So I spent all of Christmas Day arguing math with people. I was like, I'm getting fed up with the comments. I'm defending Dusty in my honor. And they're just arguing math with people.

It's crazy. Well, they all act like they're just math experts and they're like, it's the, and I don't even know what those things are, but I'm like, yeah, I'm just saying a thing here. Yeah. You know, they're like, Oh, duh, buddy, this is basic algebra. And I'm like, it's not algebra. I'm like, are you typing stuff out? It's what, it's not algebra. It's just, it's not algebra. I'm just adding things. Yeah. I had never heard the term digital route. I didn't know that this was the case. You know, I've taken math classes, people acting like you learn this in second grade. Yeah. It's crazy.

Like I'm in there arguing, you didn't know this. Yeah. Don't act like you're a genius. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Well, you know, all the, none of those people are, it's not even like, and most everybody's just like, yeah, I didn't know that. And then they move on. That's how everybody acts. Garrett, here's another fun math fact for you. The difference between a two digit number and the sum of its digits is always a multiple of nine.

So, let me explain this. Yeah. So, give me a two-digit number. 25. 25.

Sorry. 45. You said 45. But 45 is... Yeah, and 27. That's not... 4 plus 5. Both y'all just said plus... 37 and 45, both equal 9. Yeah, y'all made it so easy. We're already proving it right, dude. 52. So 52. 5 plus 2 is... 7. 7. We're off to the races. I know, I know. And the difference between 52 and 7...

45. Yeah, there you go. I forgot how to do this thing. So that's it. Four plus five is nine. Yeah. Wait, what? The difference of seven is 45? The difference between 52 and seven. What about 13? Right? That'd be one in four. That'd be one in three. That's four. Yeah. And the difference of 13 and four is nine. Wow. That's pretty cool. Unbelievable. Yeah. All right. Yeah, that's fun. Math is great.

I don't know what I was doing in school, but math is fun as always. Duh, guys. I learned this in kindergarten. But what it would be if it is like 63 and that's nine. Yeah. Nine times one, nine. But you just come out of nowhere with that nine times one because it'd be 30. Wait. So what did you just say? 63. That's the number you're picking? Yeah. Six plus three. All right. I'll change it. 36. That's okay.

I forgot what we were even doing. Yeah, see? It kind of messes you up. Yeah, I got thrown off. Do the other one. I got thrown off. It was 52. We should be writing it down. It was 5 plus 2 is 7. So 52. Well, what's 36 minus 9? Yeah, I forgot what we were even doing. I did it at home and it worked, but now I can't remember how we did it. No, we just did it. 36 minus 9 is 25? Yeah.

Yeah, what were we just doing? And that's it. 27. 3 times 9 is 27. 3 plus 7 is 9. I don't understand. I've lost now. I understand, but it's hard when you don't write it. All right, so 36 is 3 plus... Yeah, so 36 minus 9 would be 27. A lot of U-turns. And that's divisible by 9. Oh, okay. Wow. Mm-hmm.

So 63 minus 9 would be 54, and that's divisible by 9. Yeah. Divisible just means it equals it? I think there really is something to 3, 6. No, you can divide 9. 3, 6, 9. There's some real stuff going on with those. Yeah. A lot of things are divisible. I don't know. 1 plus 12. I got a lot of comments about math. But why do you do that? 1 plus 2 is 3, then 12 minus 3 is 9. But you wouldn't, you know. I don't know.

You know what I mean? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. When you go down to that, it's like, well, then it just works out. 12 minus 3 is 9. But when you go to the top, the big numbers, then you're like, well, then now you're at this stuff and it gets weird. It's a mess up there. It's two different things. Mm-hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Glad we got to the bottom of that. Thank you, Garrett. Rhonda A.W.,

The whole teriology thing reminded me a day when I was in first grade and thought I had discovered that we only have nine fingers. I asked the teacher to go use the restroom, and I was sitting there in the bathroom and began to count my fingers and was flabbergasted that I kept ending on nine. I eventually realized I shouldn't start out with zero.

Yeah, that's funny. Rhonda's our kind of person. Yeah. I could definitely – I could see a moment. I could have a moment. I have had a moment like that. I can't remember exactly, but like that where you just end up – you get two in your head and then you're like – It's pretty funny to be like, hey, can I – I need some space. I might have just figured something out. Oh, yeah. In first grade. In first grade. I have just blown the lid off this thing. Yeah, you have to just be like, oh, man, it's –

You go, come back to the bathroom, and you're like, this doesn't even matter anymore. Whatever she's telling you doesn't matter. We have nine fingers. It just did this whole thing. Yeah, this is all a farce. It's all a farce. We have nine fingers. Zero. One. Yeah, you go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

Mid-nine fingers. Crazy. Read Goss. Goss. Goss. Nailin' in a Nutshell. What begins as a serious question by the challenger, I suppose, and quickly ends up in the guys asking, how tall is Big Bird? Hard-hitting journalism at its finest. Love it.

Did we find out? Big Bird was about eight foot. We did find that out. Yeah, he's weak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know, that is good, though. My credit card actually reached out to me the other day, and they were like, hey, did you make both of these charges? And it was like two different Apple things or whatever. And I'm like, I don't know.

I don't know if I bought both of these things or not. I could be subscribed to things that cost exactly the same. You can get on Rocket Money, man. Gotta get that rocket. One thing I forgot to mention, too, because I've talked before, I got my wisdom teeth out. Oh, yeah. That was a big, yeah. How was it? How'd that go? It was, yeah, I had no, it was good. It was, I mean, it is, I got put out and, sorry, I got put out. I could put to sleep. It is crazy. You just go like,

It was just the guy, I remember he asked me if I knew. He's like, oh, you know this guy? And you're just like, yeah, I think I, you know, and then you're just. Were you nervous? Yeah, I did laughing gas just to kind of like, because I was like having that panic. And then it was, but then, I mean, I don't really remember anything. And so, yeah, it was good. Yeah, but I was nervous at the beginning. But no problems after? No.

No, I had one. I just did the top ones. The bottom one's not like it needs to come more. So I just did the top ones. And the one this the one on my right, I mean, was like, it felt like I didn't have anything done.

And then the left one, I think I had, it was a little up there. Ours is a little affected and it was, uh, so my mouth has been sore. Uh, still a little sore. You say the top ones are easier than the bottom ones. Yeah. That's good, man. I'm glad it wouldn't mess me up for weeks. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was, I was, yeah. Cause we, I mean, it was all during Christmas and then whatever. And then, uh, I got into, I started eating bad though. That was the bad thing. Cause I started eating some ice cream and then you're like, yeah, boy.

just got down a spiral so what are you gonna do all right that happens this time of year i mean that's what in canada that's what they were doing we were eating eating eating and then it was cookies and cake and pie and and i love that stuff oh i try to stay away from it real hard so good but it's delicious yeah it's so good all right so this week we're talking about air travel

Good week to talk about. Yeah. Let me ask you, big Southwest guy? Huge Southwest guy. A lot of people say now they will no longer fly Southwest. Are you with them? Ridiculous. No. I'll fly Southwest till the day I die. Even if you make it big? They're the only company I think I'm loyal to. Really? Yeah. And they handled everything that happened. I think they handled it the way... I mean, I understand a lot of people's Christmases were ruined and everything, but I think they handled it like you'd want a company to handle it.

where they came out and they were like, we messed up and we're going to do everything we can to make it right. That's what it felt like for me as somebody who was not personally that affected by what happened. I'm sure if you were there in the airport stranded for a few weeks, not weeks, but you know, a few days, you'd feel differently. Yeah. My buddy, Doug Brown, who wrote the, who made the music safety suit and made the music for this, they were in Phoenix and I mean, they canceled their flight and they,

uh it was on the 27th he was supposed to come home or something and they just go there's no more flights till after the new year yeah which was i mean it's a lot of days so and then i think they just they ended up finding some flights because i feel like they just canceled like they just go it's almost like you gotta be like just cancel everybody's flights and now start a new yeah we need to just like reset but i mean like other airlines

No, no. Like Southwest is like, Oh yeah. You're, you're kind of stuck in it. And so you got to go like everybody's fights canceled. Now go buy new flights. And then, you know, but that, yeah, that it was, uh, it's a tough one for them. Well, I don't know anything about that. I hate Southwest boarding process, but very vocal about that. But, um, I hadn't, I did not know this was happening. What, uh, what do you think about the seat saving in Southwest? Is that yay or nay on that?

I mean, you can't outwardly just do something, but some people put a bag down. You can't tell someone, I don't think you can say, I'm saving this seat.

But you could set a backpack there. You could do something trying to act like you don't know what's going on. It's like that. But if someone asks for it, it's like the gigs. All that other stuff, that's gamesmanship. That's all part of it. That's what we're doing. I'm going to fatten myself in this aisle, take up space. That's all part of it. But you can't straight up go.

I'm saving this for my husband. I mean, if they were right, I think I've had being like, it's that guy behind you. Coming down the aisle right now. And if I know there's, you know, you're like, you're trying to take a seat that's like, you can sit there. That's why I hate that boarding process. With no other airline, you're not dealing with that. You're like, this seat's saved. I'm like, oh, no, it says right here that that's my seat. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't, cause it adds a little stress to the, yeah, you gotta be like, we have to be there. Cause you get boarded late. I, I, I'm not the biggest fan of it either. Uh,

I do better if it's like, you know, if you can get on somewhat, we have your, like your family, it's perfect. Cause it's like y'all three. So, and you get a board, uh, and the family, you get the family boarding. So you're guaranteed a row between a and B. Now this woman say three rows for her family. Ridiculous. Yeah, no, that's crazy.

This guy says, hey, Southwest, I'm an A-list guy who flies a lot and you do a great job, but I had a good A boarding on my flight home and wanted an exit row, but one lady was holding three rows for her entire family. Yeah. How does this stuff go on? That's absurd. Yeah, you got to go. If A, she's got to go to the back and then. Yeah, you just sit down. And then you can't. Well, I know, but it's like that's the thing is like you're you're.

You're, that's, you know, it's like, you have to be very confident. Yeah, nobody wants to have a confrontational moment with a stranger on an airplane. I got into a thing with some people in an airport. Well, you're different. I get into it with all that. Yeah, this lady had all the seats saved for her kid, but they were all running around and I sat down and. Oh, this is like at the gate. Oh, yeah. One of those seats. Oh, yeah. Okay. And it was just like.

I mean, she was like, she finally confronted me. I just sat there. I heard her talking about me and I just kept sitting there. And then she finally confronted me. And then I was like, so I was like, well, there's no one sitting here when I came over. So then I got up and then we were like bored. Yeah. And then they tried to cut in front of me and boarding. And then they cut in front of me. They were like, and then I cut in front of them again. I mean, it was a, it was a thing. Yeah. But, and then I had to sit next to the lady on the flight. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. How? We just, that was our seats. Wow. I mean, it all, it all worked out. That's why I'm Southwest. You could have got away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like I was sitting there and she had to come down and go, I'm in this thing. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's crazy. The reality is in this situation, it's up to the flight attendant to recognize what's going on and being like you. If you want to sit with your family, you have to go back in line and board with them. You can't show up and hold an exit row of all. Well, you got to pay for their.

are paid for all the things. And if you're like, it's expensive, you're like, yeah, it is. And that's why you don't get to save the seats. Totally. Yeah, I agree. Because the exit road, that's the one thing that drives Southwest too is when they let...

Like if you get on a plane that has some people that stay on the plane, because you could be A1 and you're like, oh, I'm going to get any seat I want. And then you get on the plane and you're like every, there's only two, three, there's only three good seats on Southwest. That long one. And I don't even like that one. But you got the two exit rows. Yeah.

window and aisle, and then the long one. And now sometimes now they've added more exit rows. But so you're looking at four, at the most, four good seats. And you get on a plane and they're taking you like, well, then what was the point of me buying all this? Because then you're just letting any, you know, it's like there's no system. Like you should tell those people you can move, but you can't move to an exit row because people...

Yeah. They need a little confrontation. That lady looks like she's geared up to argue with you. Yeah. I'm in for it, though. That's tough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I tell you all, I don't know if you all agree with me, the only thing that annoys me more

Than what this woman is doing in this picture is the fact that somebody took a picture of her and posted this. Yeah. That, that's becoming a real thing that bothers me. Yeah. Is why not? Why is this a moment that you had to a, it's weird. I know it's her. She's not facing the camera, but you took a picture of this woman and you tweeted it out like that. The whole thing.

That whole type of behavior is really starting to bother me. Just photographing strangers in public and putting it online. I agree. It's because they don't really have the guts to confront them in real life. So they take it to the internet where all their followers can back them up. Borderline, if she said something to him, that guy might have just gone, no, no, I understand.

And then he's like, I'm going to just try to, well, that's when they take pictures of someone. They go, this guy just did this. I've seen that with people could do your thing. Internet. Oh yeah. And you're like, borderline should go to jail for some of that. You're like, yeah, I mean, you better hope nothing happens to this guy. Cause you're, yeah, I, it's a good point. I agree. Cause you're made like, you know, like this is just a moment that should live and die on that plane right there. Yeah. Yeah.

And then you move on. And you tell about it. Yeah, you talk about her afterwards. You don't take her picture. Yeah, I complain about people all the time. But I don't. Yeah, I wouldn't take their picture. No. This guy's verified, too. Probably has a ton of followers. Yeah, well, it's the arrogance people have with these airplanes that they think. And look, I get in the hold of them. But yeah, everybody's like, how dare you do this to me? You see a lot of blue check marks complain about

And you want to go like, yeah, do what are your, Hey, if you're, if you're doing well and not saying a blue check marks, cause you, that doesn't mean that this person, but if it's a famous person and then they're like, how dare you? I get, you know, I do this. I've been flying low. And then they try to at the person and they're trying to get something out of it. Being like, I have a lot of followers. You don't, the arrogance of that is so gross. Disgusting. I know. Disc. I mean the grossest thing possible. Who do you think you are? They,

That you think, oh, I can just tell them what to, you know, don't treat me like this. That's part of why I took a hard Southwest stance. I got annoyed by all the people.

As if what happened was personal to them. And you go, yeah, my mom's flight got canceled too. Yeah. But she's not on Twitter. Yeah. You know, it's not about you. Yeah. So I'm just being the contrarian there defending Southwest. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. And some of the, you know, a lot of people that work at the airlines, it's so hard. They get yelled at all the time. Yeah.

hardly everyone that's talking to a person that works at an airline is fussing at them. Like you're rarely being like, Hey, great job guys. I'm just, I just want to let you know, I'm enjoying my flight today. Everything's wonderful. Thank you. Like I landed back from Canada. We landed and then we had to sit on the plane for like an hour. And then when we got to the bags, we waited for like another two hour, hour and a half. I went to one of the guys that worked at the baggage. We had our baby and we checked our car seat.

So I just talked to this guy. I was like, hey, man, you don't happen to have a car seat that I can just borrow, do you? And he was so nice. He found a car seat. Let me borrow it. We Ubered home. And then I drove back.

took the car seat back to the guy, picked up my bags. I mean, it was great, but it was like, we would have been stuck there for another two hours with our baby who was starting to lose it. Yeah. But because I was nice to this guy and I didn't go in there yelling at him, he was like, yeah, I'll hook you up. Yeah. I mean, I just think it's so much better. And then that other family came in and goes, what do you mean you gave our car seat away? Yeah.

He goes, the guy's coming back. I just got all my bags. I just want to go home. My baby's crying and we can't leave because you gave a car seat away? And he's like, you should have been nicer. You should have been nicer. He's verified on Twitter too. Yeah. He's a big deal. But yeah, I mean, I do think it was like an old car seat that somehow no one ever picked up. Yeah.

Whatever you got to say. It worked out great for me. That's what being nice does. Yeah. Being nice does is gets other people's stuff. Yeah. Well, there's a place, and we've talked about this before, Scottsboro, Alabama, unclaimed luggage. You ever been there? No, I've heard about it. I want to go. Seems like your kind of place, Dusty. The airports hold your luggage for 90 days, and then after that, if no one's claimed it, I think this place buys it from the airport for a price, and then they...

resell it. And I've never been, but we talked about this on a previous episode. They've had some crazy stuff. They're alive. Rattlesnake was in a bag. Wow. Some shrunken heads, some, some crazy. Yeah. What watches do they like this weekend? Yeah. I got some good. It's a, how can you use those watches though? The, the smart ones. Oh, they must, they must be able to reset them. I thought that you couldn't.

I don't know. That was the whole point of them. I don't know. Yeah. I doubt you buy a watch for there and it's just like, you know, you have to enter the passcode and you don't know it. Yeah. Just for show. Yeah. Yeah. An iWatch. It's a good. It's called. I don't love that. Like this stuff. How much I love. Some of these are like, yeah, look at the screens all scraped up. Yeah. Scratch. How much is that one? 20 bucks. Yeah. 20 bucks. You're just giving that to a kid.

As a toy? Yeah. Well, one of them, VTech, we might actually have one of those watches. That's like the one that's for kids. Yeah. It's like, why does the, so the airport sells it

So they have to buy it from the airport. Well, that's what I think. People just don't. Sometimes if their stuff doesn't come, they just go, whatever, and move on. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder how. Yeah. You mean like the carousel? No, no. Like if your stuff doesn't come or gets lost and you've got to fly home or you've got to fly somewhere else. How much do they pay, though? It's like, does the airport pay?

Like, I mean, how much do they charge them to buy the stuff? I don't know. I just assume that's how it works. I don't think they're just giving it to unclaimed baggage. The amount of detail they have on their website is, unclaimed baggage has purchasing agreements for unclaimed items with all domestic airlines and other travel and transportation companies. So they don't go into a whole lot of detail how this works. I love that this is in Alabama. Isn't it funny? Yeah. Why did it end up there? Only 0.03% of all checked luggage this happens to.

Go get your luggage because everybody's just like, I like this store. But then you're like, you're paying the airport? Like, that's the stuff I don't. So you got to, so this place, you like, what do you do? You write a check to. No, the store owns the stuff now. I know. But when they go buy it, who are you paying?

I guess the airline maybe that's holding it in their office. So they make money off even the luggage you use. Yeah, you paid to check it. Now they're selling your stuff. You paid to check it. Maybe you didn't go get it because of this situation. They lost it. They lost it. They lost it. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty funny. You pay to check it. They lose it. They sell it. Yeah. Someone else buys it. Yeah. That's a great business. It is a good business. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that is a funny business. You go, well, you lost it. But they got to give you money if you lose it. Yeah. But it's still like that. But that's the airline doing it, not the airport. Yeah. It's complicated. Yeah. Yeah.

So the record that I could find for longest that people have had to sit on a plane was, I think I talked about this in a previous episode, JetBlue. So this whole episode is just stuff we've already talked about? I know, I know. But I believe I threw this out at the end and you're like, why didn't we get into this sooner? So now I'm going to do it. JetBlue used to have a, I think their policy model was, we don't cancel flights. Yeah.

And then there was a big blizzard in 2007, and people sat on flight for 10 and a half hours. Why did they sit on – because it landed in the runway and they wouldn't let them off? They were about to take off, and then it got so bad that they couldn't take off. But JetBlue's like, no, no, no, no, we're not canceling. We're not canceling. And they would not let them get off, and they sat there for 10 and a half hours.

10 and a half hours. I wanted to start, after an hour, I wanted to start a chant that said, let us off. Yeah. Like, just let us off the plane and then we'll, I'll make my way back to the airport. Yeah. Just let me out of here. Yeah. I wanted to go, let us off. I was afraid people wouldn't join. There was a guy playing the trumpet.

A trombone. I was like, this is out of control here. Yeah. Was the guy playing a trombone? Yeah. I would have probably filmed that. Oh, yeah. I think I may have got a little film of it. Just out of no reason? Well, yeah, they announced he was going to come up and play. And he played a little song. And I was like, all right, okay, great, great. But then after that, after we sat there for a little longer, he started playing again from his seat.

And I didn't really mind it, but it was like, it's time to get off. Yeah. Let's get off this. Yeah, yeah. So now there's rules. Department of Transportation says after three hours, they have to let you off. This is departing or... Three is too long. Yeah. Well, I agree, but I guess, I don't know why, but maybe... I'd say an hour. Yeah. There's some crazy situations. After three hours, domestic flights, four hours for international flights, either departing or arriving. How about there's no crazy situations?

But they do the three-hour rule, and then they go, well, there's, you know, this one thing happened once. So now you're, you know, it's like, yeah, yeah, but it doesn't happen. So just be an hour. Yeah, I guess I was just- Like everything, no, I'm not mad. Yeah, I'm saying like the rules, it always ends up being, well, you know, this one time, this thing. You're like, yeah, yeah, but that doesn't happen.

So the everyday situation doesn't mean I want to be in your weird situation because you're going one time. It really worked out. Yeah. Run one time. A bunch of horses were on the runway and you're like, yeah, but that's not going to happen again. Three hours is a long time. Why not make sure it'll never happen again?

Yeah, let's put up some fences. Yeah, not everyone gets in a wreck on the street, but let's put up some speed bumps to make sure nobody else will. Now the rest of us got to drive over the speed bumps every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they go, well, one time, one time, something this...

That's what Hannah was telling me. Like they used to, all these kids used to swim at this one place where she grew up. They used to swim. Like it was a big childhood thing for her. They all used to swim out there. It was great. Families would come, they had picnic tables. And then a kid drowned out there one time and they wouldn't let anybody swim. And I'm like, it's like, that's a bummer, right? It's like, it's unfortunate that guy drowned. But, but don't take this away from us because that guy was a weak swimmer. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Do you know what I mean, though? Well, you change that from there's a boy that drowned to that guy drowned. Now you made it like nothing. Yeah, that idiot can't swim. He's got to get older. Yeah, he's got to get older for that last. Yeah, he used to be a boy. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know. I just like I think that it's like just let us swim. Let us, you know, put put a sign out. Hey, people drown out here.

Yeah, there should be a lot more at-your-own-risk signs. Yeah, don't let it be you, but people do drown out here. You worded it a little better, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. Some kind of sign. Just a heads up, they should just have you walk around. Yeah. Just, you know, you go, hey.

You still having a good time? Ahoy, matey. I just watched Andrea Doria last night. Ahoy, matey. Don't be a weak swimmer. But, you know, it's like, imagine being that family. Now, especially if you're like the other kids at school, like if that kid has siblings, and now they're all like, oh, because of your brother, we can't swim at the, you know. That's the real tragedy in all this. Yeah. I'm just saying.

The tragedy, you know, it's a big deal. Right. I get that. You know what I mean? Yeah, put a lifeguard out there. Yeah. Yeah. So I did not know this, but someone posted like, what do celebrities do at the airport? Do they stand in line like everyone else? And a lot of them, there's a special terminal for a lot of celebrities. Oh, man.

they go to this special terminal. They do the checks and then they're driven by car to the, to the plane. Uh, Chrissy Teigen tweeted about this and, uh, how she does it. And apparently this is a pretty common thing. Um, I guess you do this, Nate, but, um, I've done the, there's an, uh, one in LAX. Yeah. I think that's probably the one that's, is that the one she's probably, does she live in LA? Uh,

Yeah, you pay membership for it. They do the same security problem and take you to the plane in a car. Yeah. Yeah, I've done it once. There's a room. It's... Yeah, you go... You drive up and...

you, there's a room that you stay in, there's food there. You can get a massage. You can get like, you got thinking, get your haircut. Like it's a, but it's a service. Like I don't have a membership to it. I got to do it. I think I got to do it. Cause it was like a credit card. Like it was like, I got a thing to go do it, but it was unreal. Like you go and you, uh,

You go in, you just drive up. They get you... I mean, the plane's boarding. You come up that door where you sit down the luggage or whatever. They drive you there. You come up the stairs. You might board before anybody's even on the plane. You're maybe the first person. And then they kind of sit you in that way. I don't know. It's not at every airport. It's in L.A. It's in L.A. But I mean, for L.A., it's like...

I mean, it's, you know, that thing's a nightmare. So you can show up whenever you want. You can show up early. You know, if you're like, I'm going to go and enjoy the thing, you could go there and show up early. And it was, you go through your own security kind of thing. They drive you in the car. You just drive around. I mean, it's, yeah, it's the most convenient. You get your own little, you can get a room where you could, I mean, it's crazy. Yeah.

I do. I mean, for so many people, it would be impossible for them to go through the airport. I've seen Vince. I was on a flight with Vince Vaughn once in Chicago. And he, someone drove him in a golf cart up to the plane. I mean, not to the plane, to, they drove through the thing up to the boarding process. And I think someone kind of maybe stood there with him or, you know, and then, but he boarded like he was on the phone. He boarded on the plane.

Normal. Normal. But it was... It's like, I don't think they have them... He couldn't just go sit in the... Well, everybody else. Yeah, yeah. Because it was like too many people would have came up to him. But I know that a lot of them, you know...

But there's been... You see people... But a lot of them will be in the airport like normal. Oh, yeah. I know Rory Scovel met Ryan Gosling once. And they were just going through TSA together. And they were in the lounge together. So, I mean, I think they go up to that lounge or whatever. And maybe they just pay for it. I'm sure if someone's super famous, they're just like, no, just go on in. You can come in. Yeah. But...

Because you can pay for everything. You can pay for everything. So that's what they're doing. But yeah, she pays for something like that. But that one is crazy. That one, you're not even remotely involved.

You're at a different thing. It's wild. Yeah. And they're like mega famous, mega rich. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They pay. I mean, cause I don't want to ruin people's perspective of me, but if you fly a lot, the airlines will just give you things. Right. So American airlines gave me an Admiral's lounge membership. Yeah. So,

So I could just go in there, right? And it's awesome. Yeah. And I don't even, I don't need it. People are not hounding me, but I'm like, I get free snacks. I get better wifi. I'm like, this is what I'm talking about. And it was just free. They were like, here, take this. I bet they ask you, shouldn't they ask you to leave? Yeah. They're like, oh,

Well, if you get like credit cards, yeah. I mean, everybody, you get benefits from it. If you travel a lot, you're going to give your diamond. I think I'm diamond with Delta. Like it's, you're, you just end up cause you fly a lot. Right. You're these things. So you get, uh, have you seen the Southwest lounge? I've never seen a Southwest lounge. It's the smoking room. Oh, yeah. That's funny. Yeah. That's very, yeah.

It's, uh, yeah, I've gone into the, I've never been a big lounge guy. I like walking around the airport. I've done some lounges a little more just cause we got to, if we have a group of us, it's like just to go sit down. But, uh, I'm a big, I don't mind strolling. I kind of, you know, just walk around. I don't hate an airport. Like, like,

I don't mind the whole, as long as I can go through it without the stress. I mean, if you get like, you know, look, if there's a ton of lines and you got the stress, it can be very stressful. But when you get through security, I don't mind. And you got time to kill there? Got a little time to kill. You walk around a little bit. I just walk around, go look at stuff. Moving platforms, walk on those. I'll avoid them.

Because I'm trying to prolong the walk. But if you walk at a good speed and you're on that, you can get a little breeze. Yeah. You try to get to the breeze part. You look like a superhero. Yeah, it's fun to get a little breeze going.

Well, Nashville airport, I didn't know this was the first, maybe still the only airport in the country has its own beer and liquor license. Yeah. Oh, meaning you can don't have to stay in the restaurant area with your drink. You can take it anywhere. You can't take it on the plane, but you could take it right up to the gate. Oh man.

I used to work for a PR company here in Nashville, and one of their clients was the Nashville Airport. Yeah. I remember when that – it was a very big deal when that happened. It was the first airport to let you carry beer around, and they were stoked about it. They're like, this is going to set the Nashville Airport apart. I think a few others let you do it now, though. All right. It is a good idea. The Nashville Airport is a lot of fun. They were the first one to allow Ubers and Lyfts, too, at the Nashville Airport. Really? That was a big deal. Yeah.

Yeah, Nashville works good. It's like when they're going through this fixing it, there was times you're like, God, this is awful. But like it's about to get – I mean that hotel's about done. Like Nashville – I was saying that we're – the Titans game, we're talking about the – Nashville's about to be insane. We're going to beat Chicago, I think. Like you're going to – it's –

In like Austin, Texas, where they're like, oh, we're the same. Come on. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. We play different games. All right. We're a major city and the stuff that they're building with the dome and they have these restaurants and all this stuff on that river. And like, I mean, it Nashville is going to be crazy and beautiful. And like, it's it's it's super fun.

Yeah, I mean, the airport – I mean, I boarded like on Thursday and then flew back on Sunday. By the time I came back on Sunday, this new bar had opened up where the Starbucks used to be, and it was just this awesome like wraparound bar. I mean, I don't drink. It's not going to do me any good, but –

I was like, this is awesome. Kind of old red in there. Yeah, old red is right there too. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah. I mean, Nashville is blowing up. And they got the new, which I tried it. It's a lot of fun. They got the little store where you don't have to check out at all. You just grab stuff and leave. That's a lot of fun. I did that. I did just to try it out. Yeah. It's a little creepy. It's creepy, but I wanted to try it. It's crazy, dude. It's great. Did you have to tip?

No, there's no tip. There's nothing. You did everything at the airport. Oh, yeah, yeah. But that story is crazy. Like, it feels uncomfortable. I think everybody, I don't, yeah, I mean, you're always like, this stuff is cool. But there is times where you, I don't know, maybe it's the older you get, the more you go, you're like, what are you doing? Like, you go, you're just, I'm just walking out. Yeah, you're getting closer and closer to be like, there's a chip coming.

Yeah. That chip's going to go in somewhere because you're there. I mean, maybe it's, maybe it's just your eyes or it's something, but it's like, there's, you know, I watch, there's a chip coming. Yeah. I mean, that's how I think they have some grocery stores like that now too. You remember like, like, you know, it's like, it was like, it would be like the mark of the beast. You would think like, how could they ever, when you first heard about it, you're like, well, how could they put a chip in? Who would take it? Who would ever, who would take it? Why would you ever be talked into it to go in like, yo dude, there it's in my lifetime is like,

there's a chip coming. They, and they were talking to like, you're like, you're like, and there's MP in your leg. You see how you're, they could make you do it. Cause you also, yeah. Cause you would always go, why would anyone take that? Knowing, knowing what would happen. They even bring up to put in a chip. And then you're like, I don't want to have to carry this thing everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. And now you're like, I want to eat. You put a chip in your dog. Yeah, that's true. People do put chips in their dogs. Yeah. That's crazy.

Well, I say that a little bit different than a human. I'm just saying. It's not a crazy idea anymore. We're putting chips and stuff. Yeah. So there is a... I watched Divergent all weekend too. You ever watch that movie? Now? The Divergent. Oh, that series? Yeah. It's like a hundred games. It's like a team. Okay. Yeah. I went to a mall. It was great. I'll check that out. Yeah. Oh, that's great.

So there has been a plane crash at the Nashville airport. Oh, geez. Bad news baits. I know. I know. This is an interesting one, though. 2013, plane from Cessna from Ontario, Canada, flew to Nashville, circled airport for about two hours before crashing on the runway and bursting into flames, killing the sole occupant.

the burning wreckage went unnoticed for nearly six hours because it was obscured by dense fog. And then someone finally noticed it. Turns out it was a drunk guy who, uh, was stalking Taylor Swift and he'd written letters and flew to Nashville to stalk her. I

I remember this. That's wild, dude. See, that's why Taylor Swift can't go through the airport normally. That's why you got to get the special treatment. That's crazy, man. Well, Taylor Swift, she spoke to NYU graduation, I guess,

uh, spring of 2022. And she said that her secret on Southwest, she says she flies. I guess she used to fly Southwest. Well, she, her mom would get in a fake argument with each other in the boarding area. So nobody would want to sit next to him. That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. That's a way to do it. Yeah.

I doubt she's flown Southwest. I don't know. Yeah. I would argue that that's never happened and they've talked about that's what we should do. That's what I would argue. Probably. Because it's like flying Southwest –

Yeah, because you're like, when would, you know, I mean, she definitely would have flown Southwest. Didn't you say Henry sat next to her on Southwest? That's what, yeah, I've heard that. I don't know the details of it, but I think that happened. So. You think their Ticketmaster stuff? I don't, that stuff is crazy to me. I know. Because it is, it's like Ticketmaster is in, it's, they're, it's insane. They're awful.

And they have a monopoly on the industry, which is frustrating. I have to use them all the time. Yeah. You have no choice. A lot of your shows are Ticketmaster? Yeah. I don't know how to make them not. I choose not to. It's through the venue, right? They have these contracts at the venue. Yeah. Yeah. And they do it. But then on the stuff, then the things go up, the fees. Yeah, it's a weird thing. And then her stuff, though.

Yeah. Cause I don't know if she doing something she needs to do. She's the one that can do something. I mean, do whatever she wants. I don't, I'm not telling someone to do something. Right. But yeah. All right. So on a airplane bathroom, if someone chooses just to lock themselves in there, there's a secret latch that flight attendants can use to unlock the bathroom. I don't know if you guys seen this or not, but underneath the lavatory sign, um,

There's a little switch. Yeah, they did this because I went... Oh, this has happened to you? No, I had to... Mr. Bargatze, you got to come out. I'm not coming. This is when I had the opposite of claustrophobia. I was like, this space is too big. I need a smaller space. But this weekend, when I flew home, I had to go to the

I had to pee really bad. So, I mean, the second we could, I got up and I was like, can I go to the bathroom? And she's like, yeah. And then they, she did that because it was locked. They locked it when we took off. Okay. So then when I went up to go pee, she had to unlock it because it's been locked. And so she opened, she like did. I didn't really pay attention. The normal lock wouldn't have worked, I guess. No, because she did the. The normal locks on the inside. Yeah, you're the one telling me there's a way to do this. I'm telling you that they did that.

I got you. What brought up this whole conversation was the fact that you're showing a thing about how they can unlock and lock it from the outside. Well, just unlock it. I didn't know that. Yeah, I was confused why if no one was in there, it would have been locked. If they can unlock it from the outside, would you assume they could lock it? Um...

I hadn't really thought about it. No. There's nothing like having... I could also go live in a park. I watched, there's another Seinfeld, the Kenny Roaster. Yeah, Kenny Rogers. When he, Kenny Rogers Roaster, and he goes, why don't we move, what do we switch apartments? And Jerry just goes, I could also go live in the park. He wants to move in. Why don't we just move in here? No, he said switch, he goes, let's just switch a park. He goes, I could also go live in the park or I could move out and we just, then you knock all the walls down. Like that was...

He's like, these are load-bearing walls. There was a British Airways flight. I got this from the Nateland Facebook fan page, by the way. British Airways flight that was forced to turn around because someone used the bathroom and the smell was so bad they had to turn around and come back. They had to turn the plane around? Yeah. I'd be like, don't. I mean, I guess that's awful smell, but I'd be like, I don't.

Open a window. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I would really go hard. Y'all can't crack a window. Yeah. Just give one, go down, go down a little bit. Yeah. You can't. Those pilots have to open a door, open a window, just a quick two minutes. Recirculate. Recirculate it. How bad? What are you eating? Yeah.

They said because the air recycles in a plane, so it would just be bad for everyone because it's just the same. Take that plane down 10,000 feet, whatever it is, 15,000, 20,000 pilots, crack a couple windows, open the door.

Emergency exit doors open first. I mean, you could probably, like, they can't crack, you know, but you could open the pilot's windows up in the front, open it, a little quick breeze through here, shut it, head back up. We're all good. Not a problem. Not a problem. I feel so bad for that person. Yeah. Did they put the person's name in this article? I don't think anyone claimed who it was. Okay.

But everybody on the airplane knew. Yeah. He comes out of there and you're just like... They were like, oh! Yeah.

Do not go in there. Do not go in there. Do not stay on this plane. Yeah. That's a tough one. Poor guy, man. That's a tough one. They said it's impossible to open that emergency door when it's in the air just because the air pressure. Yeah, but the windows. I know. You've got to go down. I know that, but I'm just segueing. I didn't know that. There have been some crazy people who have actually tried to do it. How long of a flight was it going to be?

I think they were going to Dubai. Yeah. From London to Dubai. I don't know. Seven hour flight. Turn it around. Turn it around. That food is. Yeah. I don't know where the food was, where he got the food, but it's probably, you know, that's tough, man. Imagine even connecting to the jet bridge. I mean, that smell would probably come on up through the airport. If it's bad enough to turn around. Shut down the airport. Yeah. Yeah. You open the door there.

Maybe just do a landing. Yeah. Like, let's open the doors and then we just let it breathe for a bit. Yeah. And then you're banned from the flight. Heathrow, we're coming back. Don't come back here. They land, yeah, landed in just, yeah, they just land in some, the Kansas City over there at their airport and then they get the steps and they have that guy go first and they go, we're just going to get off and he gets down to the bottom and they go, and they shut the door and they go, bye-bye. See ya, sucker. Enjoy.

London's Kansas City. That's what they... I don't know. And then he farts and then smells his own thing and he's like, oh, okay. Yeah, I get it. I get it. That was a reason. Probably when they shut the door and they take back off, they realize he left another little... Yeah. He like crop dusted it and they go, and he's just down there pointing at them laughing. And he goes, I got you again.

You want to guess what percentage, when you're 35,000 feet, how close are you percentage-wise to outer space? Dusty? You're about... I missed the first part of that question. When you're as high as you can be, which is 35,000 feet... On a commercial airline. On a commercial airline, how close are you to the edge of space? So you're saying like, you're 60% there or you're whatever? Yeah.

I think you're about a third of the way there. So you don't want to do percentages. Well, 33%. 33.33. I mean, that was the whole, everything about of it. Everything about the whole conversation. 33.33 repeating percent chance. Can you unlock and lock that door? What's the percentage of the people that thought, if you're at home, let's do a poll. We haven't done a poll in a while. What's the percentage of you? Is it one third or half? Half.

I mean, what's as high as you can be? What does that mean? Yeah. Well, I mean... Well, this is not a fair question. Cruising altitude is usually like 35,000 feet. I think some international flights can get up to 50,000 feet. I'll say, when I've been up that high and I look down how far we are, I'm like, man, I think we're almost to space. Yeah, yeah. And we're about... You say it out loud to the person next to you. Hey, me? There you go. Hey, hey, hey. You're bowing them, you go, oh, the guy that asked for the middle seat. Yeah. Yeah.

He just, he just, he, I could see that you just sit there and you wait till the people show up and they go, are those seats taken? You go, no. And I was the first to board. I bet we're almost out of space. And we're about what? We're a little under seven miles up. I guess so. Yeah. Good for 35,000. So you're saying, you're saying we're 33% there. I think we're like,

75% there. I say we're almost there. I say 50. Yeah. It's a good answer for, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just playing the game. Yeah. We're 7%. Oh, we're not even close. Not even close. Wow.

and we're not high enough to see the curvature of the Earth. That I know. Never are. Never are. No one ever gets up that high, do they? No matter how high they get, they just can't see it. Now, they say pilots can, because if you have a wide, you need at least a 60 degree, you can start seeing the curvature. But from our windows, there's not enough space to start seeing it. I don't know. So...

Dusty, maybe someday the pilots will let you come up. Yeah, I'd like that. What's going on up here? Yeah, what's going on? They can see it, we can't. What's going on? There's some bigger windows out here. Over 50% of pilots have admitted to dozing off while flying. 31% said they woke up and their co-pilot was asleep too. Oh, boy. I could see that. I mean, it's all autopilot. I mean, how are you not falling asleep?

Yeah, there was an Ethiopian flight back in August where they both fell asleep and missed. Just because it's Ethiopian is funny. Yeah, it seems like, yeah. I just know this, but I'm not looking at my notes. It's an Ethiopian flight. Yeah, everybody's got a lot of room on the seats on that flight. Yeah. Sorry.

That's for the, you always say Ethiopia are the skinniest people. Yeah. Especially growing up. That's got it. Yeah. Growing up, it was all about funding Ethiopia. Yes. Yeah. So growing up, the idea, the picture you have is that everybody is, you can sit wherever you want to. Yeah.

Well, both pilots fell asleep and they missed their landing. And I mean, nothing happened. The alarm went off because they were on autopilot. And then they woke up and they landed like 25 minutes later, but they were both asleep. How'd they miss it? They just kept going? Yeah, it was on autopilot. And then once they missed, when they start descending, the alarm went off. And I guess that's what woke them up.

Yeah. And then they had to relay back, hey, I was just having a little technical difficulties up there. There you go. It actually makes me relieved that there's... Again, rest.

A, that they're getting rest. But B, that so much of it is automated that there's less risk for human error. Oh, yeah. I thought I always heard they land just because they want to land. It would land. I'm surprised the plane didn't just start going down on its own. Yeah. You got to set your alarm, though. Be like, we're going to be there. I could see nodding off.

You would want the other one to be like, look, I'm going to nod off, then you nod off. But it's got to be just like, you're just that hum of that plane in that seat. Just looking at the same clouds. Like we're all, people can nod off in the back. And so, you know, if you're on like a,

13 hour I mean how are you not it'd be weird if they were like dialed in yeah on long flights I learned pilots there's a secret area above them above first class where pilots have beds and then go up there and sleep good yeah I mean I bet you I bet there's times you go to that that cockpit and there's you're like hello no one's in there they're both up there both up there asleep yeah

I mean, you got it. Are you watching movies or you're doing something? Yeah. It's cramped up there too. I've never been. To the, I've never seen. They won't let me go up there. You haven't seen it though. Like when you see them like. Oh yeah. You can look in there. When you see them go sit in there. Yeah. I'm not, I don't think anybody there's just, I just walked up. They're not going to let you in there. Cause they don't want you exposing anything. Yeah. Well. Yeah. Yeah. One day though. Yeah.

So airlines charge, or airports charge landing fees to airlines. So if every, every time a plane lands, they have to pay the airplane a particular rate. Like at JFK, it's $7 per thousand pounds of weight. And a 777 airplane is 775,000 pounds. So one flight would be about $5,386. They have to pay to land their plane there.

That doesn't make sense. Well, it's, I mean, you're just, I think the charging of people's out of like, you're, there's just, they're just making up stuff. And then everybody, it's all us paying it. Yeah. This fee. It's that, you know, it was like the nine 11 tax. Like the, there's all, there's all like, we're just paying it. Yeah. Maybe that's how the main way airports make money is by airlines have to pay them for something. Yeah. But that seems like too much. Yeah. Yeah.

Your business, it's not like if you're an airport, you're also like, well, we also have a lot of other, we're a mall too. You're like, well, no one's coming to your mall unless that plane lands. Right. So the plane is your business. That's my point. So that's why you should charge to get to land there. I know, but then the plane could be like, well, we're going to go to another airport that's not going to charge us. We're the business. You don't exist. You only exist because a plane is landing there.

And that's what's happening at the Toledo airport. Someone told me that they only have two flights a day or something, but they said they keep raising the rates on the airline, so they're going to pull out too, like shutting down the airport. But to me, if you live in Nashville, hey Delta, there's a lot of people in Nashville, you want to come here? Well, you got to do something to get to come here. Yeah, but it's who's the consumer and who needs who. Yeah. I mean, you both need each other.

And then if I can – I'm fine charging if I can believe you're not making us pay for it. And I don't think that. I think we're paying for it. Oh, well, that's probably true. Like movie theaters. Apparently, like all the ticket prices go to pay for the movie, like go to the studios. And then the only money that the movie theater makes is off popcorn and candy, which is why we pay $10 a Coke. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, there's a lot. Yeah. And I'll do it every time. Yeah. It's so good. It's a good Coke, though, man. It's the best Diet Coke. It's the best popcorn. It is. Yeah, it is good. They at least give you a giant, like, it's at least like, it's a bucket of Coke. Dude, I had the best Diet Coke I've ever had in my life. At Christmas, we went to this nice restaurant with my wife and her family, and they're all getting this fancy stuff, and I said, give me a Diet Coke, and they brought out the

the glass like the glass bottle and the guy put a lemon in the cup and i was making everybody take a sip of this this is the best diet coke i've ever had yeah nobody seemed to be as big on it as i was yeah i was pretty stuck not a big lemon in it my i wasn't either but it's but it felt right at the time yeah it felt good yeah i'm uh uh i had a good diet coke i went to old spaghetti factory in toronto

And it was around the corner. They were open late. I know Toronto has a lot of good places. Spaghetti Factory is great. Old Spaghetti Factory is great. And they had the red plastic cups. Solo cups? No, no. The, like, Pizza Hut red cups. Oh, my gosh. Not plastic. Or I guess it is plastic. But, yeah. And, like, they had those. And you see those, you know, you're about to get a good Diet Coke. Get a good Diet Coke, yeah. And it was a good Diet Coke. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

to test if...

If airlines, you know, birds crash in the windshield. So to test the windshield, they fire dead chickens from a chicken gun into the windshield to see if it can withstand the dead chicken. Where are they getting all these dead chickens from? I guess a poultry place or something. I think once they fire the chicken gun, it becomes dead. Yeah. Yeah. They could reuse the ammo a lot. I can't imagine. Yeah. You know, I don't think they're buying dead chickens. I think they got chickens and...

When that trigger's pulled, it becomes a dead chicken. So they're technically firing a dead chicken at the window. Yeah, we loaded a live chicken. Yeah, they got the chicken getting there. It walked in. But...

When he hit the window, he was dead. It dies way before it gets to that window. Yeah, there was a story about some guys that took a lunch break, and then when they came back from lunch, they fired the gun, and a cat had crawled in there because of the dead chicken, and so it fired the cat. But according to Snopes, that's not a true story. It's just urban legend. I believe it's true. I don't trust Snopes. Yeah. Yeah. So who knows? Yeah.

All right, chicken gun, I guess a good place to stop. Chicken gun. I'd say. All right. All right. Oh, I know what I was going to ask. Airplane mode. I feel like if it's really that important that it could interfere with communication, they need to do something to make it where they're not just trusting you to put your phone in airplane mode. Yeah. I don't think most people do. I mean, I used to be super strict about it. Well, you have a bit about this, don't you, where the woman told you to...

yeah the woman told you to turn your phone off yeah and uh yeah and you did it you don't have to do that now yeah yeah i can't remember what it was oh it was yeah you're you're not allowed to you're allowed to have your phone on or something or you can you know it's got to be an airplane mode and i was like it was but that was back when it was like supposed to be

I think you may as well turn it off. Back in the day, you're supposed to turn it off. Yeah. Nobody did. Yeah. And then, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I forget that. That was a good joke. And then, but I, now I, I'm, people are texting. I'll be honest. I'll text.

But I'll put it in airplane mode, but I'll be texting up until we're, like right when you start to lift off. It's like your phone doesn't work up there. Yeah. So it's like it doesn't matter. I do always put it in airplane mode. I don't leave it.

just on uh so i put an airplane mode people on the phone and stuff like that that stuff's crazy i've seen people talk speakerphone oh oh but there'd be like just i mean we're taking off and you're like yo dude you're not you definitely can't be just you just the courtesy of just going like we have a system man yeah just do it we're all doing it like

You know, you don't need your, it's the annoyance. I don't think the plane's going to go down because of it, but it's, you're being annoying and talking very loud. Anybody that talks on the phone loud where you can hear, I mean, if you call me and I'm on the phone, it's like, Oh,

I'm like, hello. When I talk to Laura or something, I'm like, yeah, I'm on a flight. It's never just, hey, what's going on, everybody? It's like, hello. People boarding with the Bluetooth, just talking all loud, talking about business deals. It's crazy. The confidence. I hate hearing someone talk business on the phone. Yeah, I do too. You know what I mean? Yeah, because you want to go, what business deal?

Yeah. What business is happening? You see somebody take out their laptop, they're working on a spreadsheet or something. All the time. What are you doing? Yeah, yeah. What is this business? I've never heard of your company. Yeah, yeah. Is it that important? That's what you said. Yeah. Just tell me what this spreadsheet's about. I would like to know that. Yeah. Just to go, so what do you do? Like, you just put in those numbers there? I don't know how to do a spreadsheet. Nah.

Oh, I love Excel. I love Excel. Really? Yeah. You know how to use it? I don't know how to use it. You met the guy who invented it, right? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah, at the Paul Allen book. That's my Tiger Woods. Oh, yeah. Yeah, to meet him. Oh, wow. I'll name my special after him. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good. All right.

That is funny that it's your Tiger Woods. I do admit that it's very funny. Oh, thanks, man. I couldn't finish it with a punchline. No, that was the punchline that my Tiger Woods would be the punchline. Whatever the equivalent of Hello World would be for Excel. Oh, yeah, yeah. I couldn't think of it. Yeah, Excel. Yeah. I did mention, yeah, it's a nod to Tiger Woods' Hello World. But it's like I did it because it's like a very warm greeting. Was the...

I came up with the idea, the greeting. I just wanted something to be like, you know, Tennessee Kid, Greatest Hedgehog. Like, it's not about a joke in the thing. And so, Hello World felt very welcoming and polite. And then I was like, oh, and then Tiger said it.

And so that's fun. That's perfect. Serendipity. Yeah, there you go. Sarah and Sarah. I don't know her. Sarah and Dippity. Ole Miss Dippity. That would be, what are your girls' names? Sarah, and that's Dippity. And you go, Dippity? Dippity.

If you named a family, meet my kids, Sarah and Dippity. And they go, and Dippity's her name? No, Sarah and. Sarah and. Her name is Dippity. It's like Goofus and Galant. Remember that? The Highlights magazine's Goofus and Galant? No.

Am I the only one that knows about this? Yeah. Are those the magazines you used to write yourself? You don't remember Highlights magazines? I do. We were just talking about it because they're in doctor's offices. Where you have to find the stuff. But there would always be comic book characters, Goofus and Gallant. It would be like, you know, Gallant helps the old lady cross the street. Goofus pushes her down. You know? And it would be like this. So it's like, maybe don't name your kid Goofus and he won't be acting up. Yeah.

And then go, and Gallant. Is that a saying, Goofus and Gallant? I just remember it from Highlights Magazine. Goofus and Gallant. Serendipity. Goofus and Gallant is an American shot of comedy. Oh, look at that. There's Goofus and there's Gallant. What's Gallant mean? It might be Gallant. I don't know. Goofus and Gallant? I have no idea.

Could be gallant. Gallant sounds better. What does that mean? Gallant? Yeah. Gallant effort? Like a gallant. Maybe goofus and gallant. That sounds terrible. There's no I. Goofus bosses his friends. Gallant asks, what do you want to do next?

Oh. Yeah. Goofus and Gallant. Yeah, Gallant's a real bummer to hang out with. Goofus takes the last apple. Gallant shares his orange. That's nice. Well, the orange is already pre-divided. Yeah, it's easier to share. Yeah. Goofus doesn't even seem to have anybody hanging out with him. Eat that apple. He's all alone. Yeah. Somebody's got to take the last apple. It would be. Yeah, he only has one friend. I mean, but Gallant has two friends. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I tell you what, Gallant sits down a lot. Yeah.

I mean, it's, you know, you're like, stand up, maybe, Galant. I mean, Galant seems to make people, Goofus is like, y'all don't know what Galant's doing. Look at him. He sits down. He's eating the orange. He makes people go, you want this orange? Come get it, this orange. I'm not getting up. Serendipity. We should do our own highlights magazines with Serendipity. Serendipity. I like it. Serendipity.

Zippity's out there. Call her Dip. Thank you to our sponsors, Athletic Greens, ZocDoc, Rocket Money, and BetterHelp. Don't forget to use our promo code, Nate.

Yeah, as always, we love you. Happy New Year. Welcome to the new year. Oh, yeah. You know, please depends on what the show is. Where is it? Do you want to go? This week, I'm in Atlanta at ASW Whiskey Exchange. Headline of show there. So please come out. Go to that. That's yeah, this weekend. Saturday. Yep. Friday and Saturday. No, just Saturday, January 7th. All right.

This weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I'm at the stress factory in new Brunswick, New Jersey. I've never been there. Legendary club. I've never been. I'm excited. And then I just put up a bunch of dates. I'm going everywhere. The next few months. Uh,

They're online. Check them out. Love to see you at a show. And I'll be at Zany's in Chicago all weekend. So pumped about that. And I think a couple of shows have already sold out. So we've added an extra show on Saturday, a 4 p.m. show. So get some tickets. And my YouTube channel, I got a lot of stuff. I'm ready to launch out to the YouTube. So subscribe to that. Yeah. Go to that. Yeah. I'll be at, yeah. I'm going to Comedy and Magic Club in L.A. All right. To work on new stuff. I think it's sold out. But it's like we're going.

Exciting. Work on some new stuff. Yes. And then Jonesboro, Arkansas. Coming out there. Chattanooga. A lot of stuff. All right. We love you. Happy New Year. Remember, you are the best. We'll see you next week. All right. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, with Audioboom. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.

Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.