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Hello folks, and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay. Welcome, everybody. We have pre-recorded this, just so you know. Just a heads up, this is, it'll say...

It could say it on the... I mean, we don't have to... You know when it says a prerecorded... You see that sometimes on... It can be very confusing. Recorded earlier. Especially during... Yeah, during... The Olympics or something? Yeah. It's... Yeah, but when you're watching something and you don't know, you know, and you're like, what? And nowadays, if you watch something that's not...

I mean, we're not talking about topical things. I mean, sometimes we are, but ours is like, Pete, you can go back and listen to this. It's not like it's the news or something. But sometimes if you watch something and it's like, if it's news stuff, I mean, if it's not the day of, you're like, it doesn't matter. That's how fast everything changes is that it's just a waste of time. So I don't read about history.

That's exactly right. It's already passed. YouTube is like that too now. If I'm watching YouTube stuff and it's like, this was out six months ago, I'm like, who has the time? Yeah. Give me something today. I need to know what happened today. Yeah. Yeah. So here we are living it up.

Yeah. We know we didn't do anything. We have nothing. Whatever we were. Titans won their game. They're going to the playoffs. Titans are going to the playoffs. Very exciting. We'll see. Josh Dobbs, rocket scientist. Yeah. They love saying that, don't they? Tennessee gets one real student athlete, and they just beat it into the ground. It was a big one. Yeah, I know. It's pretty impressive. But it's just like, Tennessee, when have you ever cared about academics? Yeah, yeah. And then they get one player. Yeah.

who takes an engineering class and they won't shut up about it. No, rocket scientists. I feel like a lot of rocket scientists, do they really work on rockets? Well, he's been playing football. I know, but is it like, if you're a rocket scientist, you're like, would you be like, I've never dealt with rockets? What really makes them so great? Why do we think they're the smartest of the smarts?

Yeah, it does. Because we're most impressed by rockets. Yeah, we're like, oh, it's not rocket science. It's rocket scientists and brain surgeons. Yeah. Those are the two that we think are the cream of the crop. Yeah. And a rocket...

What is a rocket? Like a space shuttle. It's like a firecracker, really. A space shuttle is attached to the rocket. To the rocket. Yes. So the rocket is what, yeah. Propels the shuttle into space. Yeah. So why, yeah, you would be like, so the rocket, so you're good at making something that just falls to the earth and blows up. Because the rocket just kind of,

we move on, right? It goes and then it's gone. And why wouldn't, if someone was like, well, I'm a shuttle scientist. And you're like, get out of here, dude. Like I'm talking to, I need to talk to a rocket scientist. And you go to, that should be the one that we should, you know, you go up to one of these guys, you're like, Hey, I got something on my leg. You mind taking a look at it? He's like, well, I'm a shuttle scientist. You're like,

Well, I mean, I could go ask a guy, any random person, because I would imagine you'd go to them like a doctor. And just think of the amount of shuttle scientist quarterbacks we might have had all this time. And we don't talk about it. Not even worth mentioning. Yeah. I wonder if they get mad, the shuttle science person. Shuttle science.

He goes, I'm a shuttle scientist. We're saying this so much, I'm going to start to think it's a real thing. It is a real thing. Being a shuttle scientist. I'm a shuttle scientist. And the guy's like, well, I'm a rocket. Rocket scientist walks in with his collar up. There's different wings of the building. They don't even interact. Oh, I think rocket scientist...

I mean, I think they park wherever they want to park. They're in the grass. They don't do, you know, whatever. And the shuttle scientist has to do his thing. Has to take the shuttle. Very frustrated to go like, we, yeah. He has to park very far away. Yeah, has to literally take a shuttle. And then he goes, and maybe it's because if you go, I'm a shuttle scientist, and they go, well, what kind of shuttle? Like, are we at the airport? You're an airport shuttle scientist? You're like, I guess we all are, you know.

But a rocket scientist is like, I'm making rockets, dude. And how many rockets are we? What else is outside of that rocket? What's another rocket?

Bottle rocket. Yeah, but that's not... There's also weaponry, that kind of stuff. Elon Musk is now making reusable rockets. Yeah, they'll go up and then they land back down. On a platform. But they still put it out in the water in case they miss. Maybe it's the missile part that's given the rocket scientists the esteem or whatever, because it's like...

We'll kill you. You know what I mean? I make rockets. So you say I'm the smartest or I'll blow you up. Yeah. What's a shuttle scientist going to do? Take you on an adventure? Exactly. You always say missiles got fired. You don't hear the word rocket used a lot. And like when you hear the news, they don't go, a couple of rockets were fired. It's always like missiles. I think you hear that a little bit. Rockets fired. Missile seems more dangerous than a rocket.

To me. You see a rocket coming, you can just move. Yeah. Yeah. The Houston Rockets. Yeah. Kind of poke fun at it. Rocket's a good name. And we don't even have shuttles anymore, not space shuttles. What do we have? Well, we don't have anything. I mean, if we wanted to go to the moon right now, we'd have to... We lost the technology. We still have technology. They say they lost it. Well, we know how to do it, but we would need to build... It's like riding a bike? They say they lost it.

Well. Interviews, the guys will go, there's one guy goes, I'd go to the moon in a nanosecond, but we've lost the technology. What does that mean? I think it just means we don't. Kind of just like, don't feel it anymore. Yeah. Because I just don't. We haven't forgotten the technology. We didn't like get it. It wasn't like a shredder that. But aren't they going to space a lot? They are, but to go to the moon, you would need a special type of capsule that we don't have right now, just because we haven't built one since the seventies. So how are they getting to space?

If we go to space, why don't you go like, why don't you just go hop on over to the moon? Like it's, you know, you figure you're up there. We hitch a ride. Might as well take a stop. While I'm in the neighborhood. Yeah. Well, like either, I guess Elon Musk again, I think SpaceX took somebody up to the, to the ISIS, to the space station. But as far as like a space shuttle, we're not flying those right now. Yeah. It's a tough name for that thing. ISIS. Yeah. Yeah, it is.

I wonder which one was first. Yeah, I guess it's not ISIS. It's International Space Station, so it's ISS. Oh. They call it ISIS, though, right? Well, I just did. It is. It is. I think they call it ISIS. Maybe they do. Yeah. ISIS used to be just a woman's name. Really? Yeah. Aren't women just named ISIS? It was a goddess. Oh. Mythological goddess, ISIS, and Osiris. They were married.

Yeah, since 2014, the name Isis has decreased significantly in the United States. Yeah. I imagine so. Isis, yeah. Yeah, it looks like Isis Gomez was a Brazilian model. Mm-hmm. Isis King, that's a tough one. Isis King. That's like, you know, you're like, all right. How about this? Isaac Pogson, British astronomer and meteorologist. Isis Pogson.

Boy, Isis Valverdary there. She's got to stick with that for a while now. She's born in 87. Old. It's tough. Yeah, she's old. When were you born? 91. Oh. Yeah. All right. I was working in 87.

Did you? Were you? No, I was in high school, but... Yeah. Summer job. But am I right, Aaron, that... What was your summer job? What did you do? I worked at a camp store at Cedars-Eleven State Park. Okay. I think I've shared that story. Yeah. I love that. Just people buying camp stuff.

Well, like, no, I sold, like, supplies, like candy and food. I don't think most people think candy first when they say supplies. Get your supplies. I sold candy. M&M's, Skittles. I was trying to talk to your, like, to connect with you. Equipment. Skittles. But no, it was like. Charcoal. Yeah, it wasn't like equipment. It was like food and stuff like that. Okay.

You worked at a concession stand. Yeah. I guess that's true. A Burger King for the forest. A Burger King for the forest. Yeah. But am I right that we could not go to the moon right now in the United States? Yes. If we wanted to? Well, I believe in the American spirit. I think we'd figure it out. We're going not because it's easy, but because it's hard. That's right. I think if you're up there, you just whip on over there. Yeah.

You're in the neighborhood. We got us this far. And then you're just floating around up there. That's what I would think. Imagine the moon. The moon's like, you came all the way to space and didn't even visit me. Yeah. The moon's pretty far away, man. It's a several days journey. I think they're about to destroy the International Space Station. Oh, really? I think so. Why? I just don't need it? I think they're done with it. Why don't they just leave it? What's so expensive about it?

I don't know. I just read something about people want to put it in a museum, but instead they're just going to destroy it and not put it anywhere. Oh, because it's too expensive to get it. Out of all the money they spend on stuff, it's funny to be like where they draw the line. Yeah. I mean, it costs so much and then they go, eh. Yeah, we've had it up here all these years, but just we've been spending all that money. And then with, you know, just about climate change and you're like, well, then you're just going to blow the thing up in this space. You're like,

Out of all the, yeah, I like that they draw the line. You know, they have weird, you know, it's a lot to get it down. I think it's hard work. It probably is just like, it's a nightmare to get that thing down. Yeah. Maybe it wouldn't survive. Maybe it would like. Burn up. Yeah. I wonder if it was built to come back down or maybe this will just, it's a one way ticket.

You think it's always in a different spot. You got to get up there and you're like, where is this thing? Yeah, it's orbiting around the Earth. Yeah. It's moving a lot, dude. Yeah. So, I mean, you think you ever, you go up and you're like, you get looking at your Apple Maps and you're like, where is it? He goes, do you get off? Where'd you get off? Connecticut? Do you go the Connecticut route? I guess this thing is...

Because they just wait. It'll come around. Just wait a day. You got to wait. It'll be back. Yeah, it'll be back. Yeah, I guess you just wait. It'll come back around. Yeah, yeah. Is that what they do? I think so. I mean, I don't know. I don't know if this has ever happened, but in theory, it'll come back around. You just go up and sit and wait. But you'd have to. You'll be in orbit too. So you can't sit. You'd have to go the other, actively go the other way to stay in place. And that probably is hard because you're going against. It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm just sitting on there. Not moving. Just not moving. Just throwing in his stick shift. Hit it. Hit it, Forrest. Just can't get it going. Bates in there is his space store. McDonald's. M&M's. Popcorn.

That guy's selling supplies for the space station. I can't believe that guy over there is selling supplies for the space station. Were you like out in the woods by trees? Yeah. Are you at the front? No, you had to drive back there pretty far. What time did you have to be there? I don't remember. Not too early. Nine, ten. Oh. Something like that. So people camping could just come up to you at any time? Yeah. It wasn't on the way in. Yeah. Yeah.

Had a little TV in there. What kind of stuff would you want? I was picturing you like a cart girl on a golf course. Like you go and meet people on the trail. No, I had a window. I slide that window open. You were in a drive-thru. You sold food. Yeah. Candy and food. Did you run a grill? There's no supplies. Maybe you had some matches or something. Yeah, supplies maybe in the car. You were a gas station.

I guess. You worked at a gas station. It was a shelf. A convenience store. Yeah. That's so much different than how it was presented at first. They go, ah, would you sell supplies? I was a park ranger. Park ranger, supplies. What'd you do? Ah, candy. I mean, it was a convenience store. Yeah. But in my mind, supplies are like, ah, I forgot my toothbrush or something like that. Oh, right, right, right. I could hook you up. Toiletries. Yeah. Toiletries. Convenience. Like, you're the thing at the airport. Yeah. Where...

I'm like the little section down in the hotel lobby. Right. Yes. That's me. Yeah. Hot pocket and deodorant. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Go ahead and read that one. All right. Hey. Boom. All right. We're going to start with some of you guys' comments. Jeremy and Ethan Wright Bowl. Bowl. Wright Bowl. Jeremy and Ethan Wright Bowl. Thanks for the great podcast. This last week, my son and I went to Yosemite National Park to backpack.

Whenever we came across other hikers, we would say, hey, bear, and then let's go, folks. We got the oddest looks, but it became a great laugh that my son and I bonded over. Now, whenever we see each other, one of us starts it and the other finishes it. Thanks for bringing fathers and sons together. You guys are great. I love it. That's great. The right bulls. The right bulls out there. Jeremy and Ethan.

Erica Pearson, on New Year's Eve 1999, my aunt was convinced the world was ending. She was a diabetic, and at 11.30 p.m. she thought, if the world is ending, I'm going out with ice cream. She tore down the road to the nearest McDonald's to get a large M&M McFlurry. To her dismay, she woke January 1st, 2000 with really high blood sugar. She passed away a few years ago. At the funeral, her son gave us all Dairy Queen gift cards and told us to go get an ice cream on Mama.

Oh, that's awesome. That's what I want to do. Huh? That's the saddest thing I've ever read. What are you talking about? She didn't die because of that. Oh, okay. Yeah. Years later. Years later. Okay. That would have been. Yeah. Okay. That would have been sad. I don't know if I would have read it, but it's so upbeat. Yeah. But yeah, I'm a fan of that. And I like that to be, you know, your parting gift. Yeah. Everybody go get a Dairy Queen. Yeah.

Get a large. Get a large blizzard. Yeah, go large. Yeah. Why not?

Yeah, I'm sorry. The way that was worded, to her dismay, she woke up January 1st, 2000 with really high blood sugar. She passed away a few years ago. It just seemed like they just came together. Like it did. The world did end. Yeah, I was like, whoa. It caused her a 20-year complication. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then finally succumbed. 23 years later, grandma passed. Okay. Yeah.

Jennifer. So hold on. So if you're diabetic, you can just go off the rails and have McDonald's and you won't die from it. Are you asking out of curiosity for you? Uh, whatever happened to your diabetes diagnosis? I'm trying to figure you out. Wait a second. So you're like, if someone had diabetes in this room, could I get, you're saying I get McDonald's on the way home? Uh, uh,

I don't know. I've lost weight, so I don't know. Yeah, it's got to be. I think I've been stress eating, though, lately. And then I get on a bender. But I think that's what I've been doing. Someone said, I watched a video about it. Because it's like you just get, you look for, you just, you know, it's like a lot of stuff going on. You feel stressed out.

And then you're just like, I'm just going to eat. Even if I'm eating yogurt, I would eat an obnoxious amount of yogurt and granola. And then you're, you know, cause you're like, it makes you feel good. You're like, I'm too overwhelmed. So I'm going to just eat this and then be thing. And I watched, you know, the last time I was watching about it, cause I was like this, I need to get back into what I was on. And when I was, when I was watching it, I watched this lady,

She talked about it and it makes sense. Like you got to have a stopper. So you have like a piece of gum or you have, you know, something. So it's like when you're like, all right, I'm done eating. Then you chew the gum because it changes your, and then you're kind of like, if someone's like, you want this? You're like, ah, I already got gum. Like I'm kind of past it. And so that you got to have something.

That is a – and you got to just put it in there because otherwise – Something final. Something final because if you don't, you're going to just be like, yeah, yeah. Because, I mean, I've laid at night and been like, I'm going to eat a couple more things. And then – but I know if I did one thing, I would be like, ah, I'm done. If I put gum in my mouth, it's like I'm sure chewing it, I would be kind of like, I don't want anything else. Like, I'm fine. A sucker might work too. Yeah, yeah.

Still working at the concession stand. Here's a couple of options for you. Go buy it out of the woods. We got lollipops. Yeah. Oh, but I don't know. I haven't been. I'd imagine it went down. Jennifer. Yep. Jennifer Kacherski. Kacherski. Kacherski. Kacherski, maybe? Kacherski. Jennifer Kacherski. Kacherski.

I'm a huge fan of the podcast. You guys keep me company when I go on walks or clean my house or drive to work. Since I'm a teacher, here's a word search I made for you guys to do. Make copies for everyone. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that is awesome. A little word search. Nate Land word search. It's pretty up to date. Very up to date. Dusty Town, Dyslexia, Greatest Habits of America, Horse Divorce, Haybear, States, Tennessee Kid, Sour Patch Kids.

Buc-ee's. Yeah. Yeah. Got a little penguin down there at the bottom. Penguin? Oh, yeah. How about it? Yeah. Nectarine seeds. What does that all do? So. That was dusty. Yeah. I talked about nectarine seeds. Yeah. Like how you like to eat them and then people said they're poisonous. Yeah.

We talked about a nectarine. I think we misidentified it. Oh, nectarine. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking, for some reason, I was thinking of pomegranate when they said that. Okay. But yeah, like the nectar inside there, yeah, you can eat all those. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. That's so cool. You already solved one. I'm finding them, man. I'm good at word searching. We got a pool. Yeah. Can you make some? Yeah.

Make some copies? Can people do them? Mail them out to everybody. Margotty, I've seen that. Brian will mail these out to everybody if you're listening. We'll do a live podcast where we just do awards. That's awesome. Thank you so much. Did you see Aaron? I forgot you were even here. Go ahead.

Did you see the video, the animation that that guy made of the graduation ceremony? Yeah. Dude, I did that. That was like the coolest thing I've ever seen. Yeah. That was so awesome. Do you remember the name of it? Simeon, it's like four names, Davon Braun or something like that.

That's Ron just trying to act like he doesn't know exactly his name. He's kind of like, something like that. He goes, I don't know, he's about 42 years old. His birthday is August 19th. So what this guy did is they sampled all of Nate saying people's names from the comments and then used them in a sketch where we're

You're reading off names for a graduation ceremony. It's so good. Did you see this, Dusty? No. Oh, dude. Should we play it a little bit? Yeah, yeah. Play a little bit of it. It's so funny. Please give a warm welcome to comedian and honorary graduate Nate Bregazzi. Hello, folks. Here we go. Patrick Eversole. Brody Martin. Katie Fid...

Fidel Holtz. Fidel Holtz. What would you say? I would say Fidel Holtz. Fidel Holtz. Joe Ferreria. I've never liked him. Really? Yeah. Scott Gwynn. Matt Crone. Matt Croney. I bet it's Crone. Yeah. Daniel Rucker. I believe I know Daniel Rucker. That guy's crazy. Crazy. Yeah.

Dusty Slay. All right. We're having a good time. Shannon Moyer. How do you say it? Yeah. M-O-Y-E-R. Casey Siminski. He died a few years ago. Lexi Eichhorn. Eichhorn? Eichhorn? Eichhorn. David John. Eichhorn.

No one's ever seen him. Billy B. Van Leet. He's a very bourgeois man. Borga George. Well, does the B stand for Borga George? Scott Dunstan. Scott Dunstan. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah.

Can't read. It's always like, it's funny that as you sit there and really think about it, it's sad. You know? Austin Hoffer, or Hofer. Hoffer. Hoffer, two Fs. Hofer. Hoffer. Oh, that's so cool. That is so cool. We're going to watch a little bit, watch the whole thing. The amount of work that went into that is crazy. Yeah. Yeah. The timing.

Yeah, it's so funny. If you're listening, go check it. It's on all our social media. You can go watch it. That was so great. All our Nate Land social media, not your personal social media. Yeah. PrideRock92. I am Aaron's age, and it seems he has stopped trying to explain very explainable things because he gets shot down so fast. Explain that. Well, why do you think he had to say he was my age?

What does it have to do with the rest of the comment? All right, guy that can't take anything. Maybe he's trying to relate to you. He's like, older people always shooting down my ideas, too. Oh, okay. All right, my bad. Maybe it's because Aaron's dumb. I'm guessing he was probably born in 92. Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. So he's younger than you. Younger than me. Yeah, but we're the same. I know, but he's doing you a favor. This kid's got his whole life ahead of him.

He's 28 years old. He's 30 years old. He is? Oh, yeah. How old are you? I'm 31. Oh. Yeah. You were like a baby. You're an old man. I know. It's wild. Yeah. Maybe that's it. Maybe he's sad that he's watching you

Get old in front of his eyes. And then he realizes I'm getting older too. Yeah. Yeah. Lance Lye brought him down. That jacket probably helps out. But have you stopped explaining?

Maybe. I don't feel like I'm doing it. Well, sometimes it's like people like, yeah, you could Google the answer to it. It's like, well, then the podcast would be five minutes. Yeah. You know what I mean? If we just Google the right answer to everything. But he's implying that we say such dumb stuff that you're like, I'm not even going to try. That you don't go. Yeah. Here, you don't explain it to us.

You're not teaching us. I'm not saying I'm you, but I don't like to be in their category. I believe in science, so I don't want to be grouped in with these guys. I'm with you, Aaron. The young guys. There you go. The two young bucks. Young bucks going out.

A bunch of college eds. I went to the graduated college, right? Or you didn't graduate? Yeah, I graduated. And then you did not. No, no. Yeah. Lots of indoctrination going on in those things. Yeah. That's how we escaped it. Mm-hmm. That's how we escaped it. Y'all left the Matrix. Yes. Yeah. Scott Sales. That's a good last name. I wanted to share, this sounds like a Seinfeld name, Scott Sales. Scott Sales? Yeah, like they would have like, you know.

Something. I wanted to shed some light on prison life. Oh, boy, Scott. Scott, that was...

I've done about five years between jail and prison, unfortunately. Drugs were mostly my downfall. Nothing stabby. That's nice. I've been out now for two years with no trouble. It's great to hear. You can pretty much decide who to sell up with eventually. Right off the bat, not so much. But when you make some pals, it becomes an option. Obviously, you kind of scan the perimeter and decide who and who not to talk to. It's really not that bad. Now, jail, on the other hand, yikes.

That is interesting. Wait, so in prison, you get to decide who you want to be in a cell with? Eventually. You're like walking around going, you know what, would you like to be roommates? I think you become buddies with someone. You ease into it. Right, but then you get to just be like, hey, I want to start rooming with this guy now? If we went to prison at the same time and they said, Nate, you have the option of Brian as your roommate or just open...

Can we do this? Oh, we did? We did this, as you said. It was funny that time. And I'll be honest with you, I think I picked you, and now I would not. You've got to ask the same questions every day. If you could be in prison. I believe that one was solitary confinement, or a cell to yourself or a roommate. Just a regular cell, man. This is different. It's the same question. Every morning...

If you could fly or if you could be invisible, what would you be like? Oh, gosh. Do you think there are more doors or wheels? Yeah, just every morning. This guy says jail is worse than prison? Yeah, yeah. I think jail is, there's probably, prison's like an organization. Once you get in there, like it's home. Jail, yeah, jail is like.

I think anything goes. You're in there with some crazy people. It's a free-for-all. It could maybe be someone crazier than you think. Sorry. Let's watch it again. Yeah, it could be someone crazier than you think, maybe. Oh, yeah. Well, you've been to jail, Dusty. Is that true? Well, I was only in there for seven, eight hours. Oh, okay. That's a long time. Yeah, and I knew a person in there. It's small town stuff. Yeah. Did you ask in a room with you? Yeah.

Well, there was four people in there counting me. It was a small cell with four people in there. Yeah. And I was just focused on going ahead and getting out of there. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I'd imagine jail is that, but awesome. That's awesome, Scott. I love that you've had no trouble and that's great, man.

Got a great name, Scott Sales. I tell you, you got to pick your own person. How you doing? I'm Scott Sales. I think you'd want to, if a guy goes by the name Scott Sales, I'd be like, I want to be roommates with you. You ever get jealous of a name because of how cool the signature probably looks? Two S's. You could do something cool with it. Two S's and then two T's? Yeah. And then another big S right after that? You could have some fun with it. SS. Scott Sales. SS Scott Sales. Yeah.

I sometimes I like like our last name is Bargetti, but I sometimes like, golly, if your name was just this, you just never have to tell anybody anything like y'all's names are all very, you know, not rememberable. You could sell through life on your own business. Yeah.

I love a good one. Dusty Slay is very memorable. Yeah, but it's also, I just got three syllables, the whole name. You know, that's nice. Dusty Slay. Yeah, very easy. Brian Bates does two syllables. Brian Bates. Yeah. Brian Bates. That's three syllables. Brian Bates. Brian Bates. You think Brian's two syllables? Brian. It's not Brian. It's not Brian.

Brian Bates. No, I don't know. I hear it both ways. Brian is Brian. Well, go over to Brian Bates. He got some supplies over there. Hey, Brian. That's how I say it. We're trying to buy a shovel. I got M&Ms. You can use the box, maybe. Why does it say camp supply store if there's not a shovel? Do you have a tent thing? Do you have tents? Do you sell tents here?

Now we got popcorn. Popcorn. I got popcorn. He goes, I'd move a little bit bigger shovel. Brian.

Brian. Yeah, Brian. Brian Bates. I guess, in effect, it is Brian Bates. It's two syllables. Brian Bates. But if, let's say, there's some theoretical perfect English speaker, he would say it three. Brian. Brian Bates. Brian Bates. Brian Bates. They say to tell the syllables, you put your hand under your chin, and the amount of times your chin touches it. Oh.

Brian Bates. Brian Bates. Dusty Slay. There you go. So how many people in Lebanon are calling you Brian? Nobody. Yeah. Lebanon. Yeah. It's Lebanon for you. I don't even know Bates. I don't even know how to do like plural or like the plural of Bates or possession. How do you spell that? Like if I were saying Brian Bates' shirt.

Do you do another E-S? Yes. Bates, apostrophe, yes. Yep. Bateses. Bateses. Brian Bateses, but not E-S. Brian Bateses. I'm going to Brian Bates' house. Brian Bates' house. You got to go over there and go to Brian Bates' house. Bates' house. What does he got? He got a bunch of shovels. He got supplies. He got supplies. I got over there no supplies.

I said, you got toilet paper, son? He goes, I don't have, we don't sell toilet. I would imagine everything was, they go there and they come back and they go, where's the supplies? And the person's got Skittles. He goes, they don't have anything. But everybody does buy Skittles because they're like, well, I guess I'm here. I'll take some Skittles. Yeah, and then they're like, don't even go down there to that supply tent. They ain't got nothing down there. They ain't got nothing down there. Well, I'm going to go look. Who's over there? Brom Bates? I'll go over there. Let me go check it out.

Comes back with Sour Patch Kids and popcorn. He goes, they don't got anything else. He goes, I walked all the way down there. Brian Bates down there. How much was the candy? Do you remember? I don't. 50 cents. That sounds about right. Yeah. Scott Studerer.

Stuhl Dreher. Scott Stuhl Dreher. Stuhl Dreher? S-T-U-H-L-D-R-E-H-E-R. I bet when I spelled that, people thought I was going to stop two or three times. And then they go, he keeps going. Stuhl Dreher. Got the pronouns built right in. Yeah. Stuhl Dreher. That's like 70. That's a lot. My chin got tired.

Hey, Nate, Brian, Aaron, and Dusty. Thanks for helping me laugh daily. Check out this picture of my girlfriend. She's younger. Does Dusty have a long list sister? Oh, it's supposed to be a long list. Oh, I was like, well, that doesn't make sense. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're going to be related. She's got the look. Yeah. I would say yes because she's holding a possum like a cat. Oh, yeah. I can't even see that. Yeah, and she's got no shoes on. Oh, yeah. But has socks on outside.

there's a good chance of that. Those glasses look like they tint in the sun too. Yep. A little transition. It has G on it. It stands for government. Yeah. But it's worn in irony. Yes. What's in her hair there? It's like...

I think it's a picture. I think it's the picture frame. Okay. Yeah. I think so. That's a spider web. It looks like a spider web. That's definitely Dusty's. Yeah. She walked through a web before she got that picture. You could not get me to hold a possum like that. Nah, me either. I do not like possums. Nah. They look evil. But they're actually good for you. I think they eat tits. They're good to have around. Yeah. But I don't care for them.

Okay. They're a wild looking animal.

They are good. I love when you just pause. I want y'all to hear what the podcast would be like without me for a little bit. It's fun to do. Y'all just trade, right? Well, we need them. That just goes to two old men sitting over there. That's a very old man. I don't care for a popcorn. Garden snake. I don't like them, but we need them. It's going to rain today. It will rain.

Scott, we got a lot of Scots, three Scots in a row. Oh, wow. Scott Bouchon. Russian Bushin. I bet it's like Russian. Scott Bushin. That's a good name too, Scott Bushin. Yeah. How you doing, Mr. Bushin? Have you guys ever had bits or jokes come out of the topics from the podcast? Yeah, I do in my next special. I close on a story I told on here the day it happened. Mm-hmm.

which I won't reveal since we're so close. I'll try to find that clip. Can we find that clip? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it'll be interesting to see it. Yeah. Because I'm closing on it, which is crazy. I try not to like, I try to keep it someone, I honestly think I have from the podcast, I have that. That's just a story that just happened. It wasn't like the joke came out of it. That one, one other one.

Those two? Maybe there's a third. I don't know. Is it on the next special? Yeah. I think it's that one. Eagle. And then that might be it. Which is, would you be amazed? There may be another one. But I mean, that's, I've been trying to, like, I tried to be...

I want to be as little, like, I don't want you to listen to this podcast and then go watch a special and be like, oh, it's the same thing. I don't think anyone would do that. They might go, oh, I kind of remember maybe the beginning of it. Yeah, yeah. You wouldn't, it doesn't come from, you know, no. At the same time, it brings some authenticity to it. It shows people, especially after the fact, hey, he's not making this stuff up. Yeah. This really happened. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I think it's two of them. So I hope it's two of them. I'm pretty sure it's two. And I think this new one I'm trying to build, I don't think it has anything. I need it.

Madison Jones. I run cross country at Mississippi State, Mississippi State University. I just want to thank Nate for his advice to work hard and be happy for those who reach their goals faster than you. I took his advice and got 63rd at the SEC Cross Country Championship this year. And with 148 people in the race, that makes me extremely average. I now consider myself to be the greatest average runner in the SEC. That rules.

Thank you all for some great advice that has helped me achieve average results. That is very true. He is the greatest average runner in the SEC. Congratulations. And you could be that and then not be happy, and then you'd still be that. So you might as well be happy, right? It's amazing. Yeah. It's amazing. There he is. It's a she. Oh, it's a girl. Yeah. Yeah. Madison Jones. Great job. She is it. I love it.

Great job, Madison. Madison, welcome to the club. There you go. Greatest average runner. And if it makes you feel better, I would probably be in. Don't be going doing better than that. One for me. She's a freshman. I don't want Madison to be in.

Yeah. Next year starts popping. She's like, golly, I finished second. You're like, all right, Madison. Yeah, yeah. Well, let's remember where you came from. Right. Act like you, you know. Yes. We're down here in the. You're not better than us. You're not better than us. Madison gets real. Her junior year, you're like, she's not even listening to the podcast. All right, Madison. I don't know what happened here. All right. Let's keep up with the Madison Jones. Yeah. It's very exciting. We've got a few athletes to keep track of now. We need to. Oh, yeah.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. When you are at your best, you can do great things, but sometimes life gets so busy and you may feel overwhelmed or like you're not showing up in the way that you want to. BetterHelp is there to help you. You can give therapy a try. BetterHelp is a great option. It's convenient, flexible, affordable.

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So go talk to one and go get help. And, you know, you just got to get stuff off your chest. It is a good thing that you go do this kind of stuff. But you make it, it's all your call. But if you go do it, I want you to go to betterhelp.com slash Nate. You get 10% off your first month. That is betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Nate. All right. Mississippi State.

So Evan Courtney, recently my wife and I were on a cruise and went to the nightly comedy shows. Where does cruise ship show rank in the career and quality of a standup comedian? It used to rank a lot lower. I don't think it's that now. There's a lot of great comics doing cruises.

I did them when I first started. I feel like when I did them, it was more of a joke. They weren't highly looked at to do it. I was very young when I did them. But I think now, because people realize that they were good gigs. It's solid work.

You're on a cruise. You can make money. I mean, it's definitely not a bad thing. These shows, like people go to these shows. I just did Carnival. And Carnival, they built a showroom in the back. And then I think they were trying to make it more enticing for comedians. And I think they did.

And so a lot of good comics go do them now. I always felt like that if you were doing cruises, you also had to be like actively doing land shows too, because you get on the cruise and then like you want to do well. And so you start catering your material just for the cruise ship. And then if you do that too long, then you're back on land and you're like, oh, these jokes are not working. Yeah. The setting is completely different. Yes. Uh,

And so there's comics that are going to do it better than most, you know, that they're just going to destroy. But I mean, now like there is having like, I think Bert Kreischer, is he doing a cruise or, and then, you know, practical Joker's cruise. I did. So there's a, there's, there's, it's becoming a thing where people are doing these things. So, uh,

I don't think it's got the stigma that it did. It used to have a bad stigma, and I don't think it does now. And now a lot of comics that do it are comics that are very good. Somebody told me early on when you start stand-up that you can fall into one of the four Cs, they told me.

colleges, clubs, churches. Oh, wow. And people make the mistake of like they just fall into one and then they don't exist in the other ones. You might throw a corporate C in there too. Throw a corporate in there. Wow, the five Cs. Oh, dang. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You're happy about that one. I really shook that thing. Yeah, right on the head. Yeah, maybe the saying was five Cs. It might have been five Cs. Yeah, that's true. Convention centers, that's six. Yeah, that's right. Corporate. Casinos. Casinos. Casinos is six. You don't want to fall into one of the Cs.

Casinos are its own. Casinos is a whole thing too. You can get on those circuits. Yeah. Yeah. Circus. Carnival. I mean, we might only do see places. Yeah. Centers, performing arts centers. Concerts. Concerts. Concert hall. Concert hall. Come a concert hall, come a thing you're doing. All right. Yeah. It's, uh, yeah. You don't want to, you want to, yeah, you want to be able to do anything. Uh,

But yeah, there's a lot of comics that are really good that are doing those now. But I definitely, it's, you don't go in, I think, thinking, hoping you're going to do cruises. It's not, you know, the end goal. But, but I mean, you know, but I, you know, your end goal is just to do comedy. So there really is no end goal. Your end goal is kind of just, I just want to be doing this full time. So if you're doing it full time, then you're,

Yeah, I mean, if you're a party or two and you like traveling like that, I think cruises would be awesome. You're on the boat a lot, though. When I did it, you would take it out to the Bahamas or whatever, or you'd fly to the Bahamas, get on it, and then just go back. I only got off the boat once, I think. Wow. You just weren't off a lot. Yeah. But when I did it. Have you been doing comedy for 20 years now? Yeah. This month? This month.

Happy anniversary. Thank you. That's crazy, man. This month, January 03. Thought you'd be bigger than that. Yeah. Took a long time. Don't quit, dude. Keep rolling. Keep plugging along. 20 years, it's a long time, man. It's a long time to do something.

Yeah. Still nowhere. Still stink. So don't worry about it, everybody. When you do it, no matter what you do, if you do it 20 years, you still stink at it. You still feel like you can't ever make a joke. You would hope 20 years you're like, I'll be able to rattle off whatever. And it's still the hardest thing ever. Trying to come up like you're like, what am I going to talk about? Mark Ostrut. This weekend I took several friends to dinner and drinks.

Before the end of the night, a fight broke out on the other side of the bar. One of my friends rushed into the middle of it and loudly asked, any chance this is about global warming? He wasn't involved in the fight at all, but he's now apparently kicked out of our favorite bar. Is there any chance Nate can write us a letter explaining global warming so we might get our friend back in the bar? Yeah, that's crazy. Why did he get kicked out?

What if they were fighting about global warming? I don't know. Maybe there's more to it. I don't know. What happened with the fight? I mean, did it break up the fight? I would think that he ran over there to say that. Yeah. Just to like distract them. Diffuse it with some comedy. Yeah, diffuse it. Yeah. It's also a Nate joke. Oh, oh, okay. Yeah.

I do comedy. Okay. Just getting started, though. Yeah. Yeah, because the joke, yeah, was the global war. Talk to your friends and family about it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Right? Yes. Yeah. Any chances, but I'll go, yeah, they should let them back in. That guy did nothing wrong. Yeah. We don't know what that fight was about. That's true. What if he was just trying to find out? Yeah. And that would have distracted everybody. You think, because it probably helped the fight. Yeah. Why would the guy, you know?

And that's a perfect time to bring up Global Warming. Right in the fight. Right back with some more details, Mark. Yeah. I'd like to know what really happened. Yeah. And then, yeah. And go back in. Whatever this bar is, y'all should be allowed back in. That's insane. Jamie Harris will come back. Mark's like, all right. All right, buddy. Do a bottle. And you're like, oh. Jamie Harrison Hobbs.

My brother and I have the same name. He is James Jimmy, and I'm Jamie. We're not twins. I think my parents just gave up. Yeah. I think Jamie's a girl. Oh, James and Jamie. Yeah. Yeah.

Or Jamie could be a boy too. Yeah, I'm not sure. I guess I'm not sure about that. Actually, I knew a Jimmy that was a girl, but it was not James. See, Jimmy's just as close to Jamie as James is. Yeah, Jimmy, Jamie. I knew these elderly women. They were sisters. It was Billy and Jimmy. I don't mind the name Jimmy for a girl. They're kind of close, I guess. Yeah, they were sisters.

Yeah. Oh, two women named them? Two women named Billy and Jimmy. Yeah. I don't think I mind the name Jimmy for a girl. I think it's got to fit.

You better hope it fits. Yeah, I know an older woman named Jimmy. Yeah. Called her Miss Jimmy. Maybe named after Jimmy the President. Jimmy Carter. Yes. Why? Maybe during that time it was a popular name. For a woman? Yeah, they were like... Maybe they were Jimmy and Jamie Johnson fans. Or Jimi Hendrix. Now, did you say Jimmy is as close to Jamie as James is to Jamie? Mm-hmm. I don't understand. James and Jamie. It's just one syllable that's different.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot of stuff. Just one letter off. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jamie. Jamie's got an I. It's pretty darn close. James has got an S. It's pretty darn close. Jimmy, Jamie. You disagree? I feel like James and Jamie's. I love that you like to challenge us on stuff and then you don't even defend your side. You just go, all right, I think your side spoke for itself. I defer the rest of my time.

Well, from a spelling standpoint, it's definitely closer. Yeah, but we're talking about real life, dude. See, that's the problem. You live on paper. I live with human beings. I'm talking about the real world out here. He lived alone out in the forest. I lived alone until I was 48. Brian Bates. Oh, yeah. Brian Bates. Lived alone until he was 48 and...

Got married, had a kid. Yep. Things are downhill after that. Mm-hmm. How's the family, dude? Good? Yeah. They are great. They are great. That rules, man. You know when people ask how the family is? I mean, we recorded this early, so I don't know for sure. When people always ask you how the family is...

I don't think anybody here, they remotely care. I think it's when somebody asks something specific. Yeah. That means something. You know, it's almost like, how's the family? Like you want to just, well, it's like you care. You're just like, everything's good. Yep. That's all I want is just like, yeah. Yep. All right.

And like when you ask how's the family, matter of fact, you're like hoping that it's just the answer's good. Yeah. You're not like, if they're like, actually, everything's in shambles. You're like, oh, this is not for me. Yeah. You say something, you're like, baby, good? Everything's good? And you go, yeah, yeah, everything's good. Leading questions. Yeah. They're leading questions. Yeah. You're just kind of like, yeah, I'm checking in on your life. And you go, yeah, dude. And you go, all right. And then you can move on. Right, right. You're like, we don't need to.

Go ahead and tell me everything's good. Yeah. I do care about your family, though. Do you? Yeah. Because now I don't think you do. No, he said it the way. That's how you say it. You go, how's the family, man? Good? Family all right? Yeah. All right. Yeah. It don't even know. Yeah, you could. He just says that to a wall. Yeah, say it again. He says it to a wall. Family good? Well, actually, you just keep moving on. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So they're good. So everything's good. So everything's good. Yeah. You go, well, they're on the moon. Yeah.

Heather Hufton. I am pregnant with a boy, and my husband and I are trying to come up with a name. Our only real requirements are that the average person has to be able to say and spell it, and it still is a little unique. I figure since Nate is the greatest average American and regularly mispronounces pretty simple names, I would test our top two on him. Aiden or Anderson? I'm pulling for Anderson. Ooh.

In my head, I think Aiden, but then I do think Anderson's a way more unique first name. I thought you were going to go Nate, which is pretty solid. So there's Anderson Cooper. That's true. I don't know any Aiden's. She did lead it like that, like she was going to name it Nate. There's Anderson Park. Aiden. Who's that? Musician. Do you know any Aiden's? I don't know any Aiden's, but it's just Aiden. Former sound guy at Zany's. Yeah. That's about all I got. I keep that in mind, Heather.

I like Anderson. I know some Adans. Aiden Hufton or Anderson Hufton? Anderson. Anderson Hufton. Anderson's more of a last name. I know, but you don't see it. Aiden feels like a, you know. Think about making Anderson a middle name, first name Arn, and then it could be like the Four Horsemen, Arn Anderson Hufton. Mm-hmm.

Every famous person named Aiden is pretty young. Now, she sent this in weeks ago, so she's probably made her decision. Aiden Hutchinson from Michigan. Oh, yeah. He's a big star. So we probably shouldn't criticize one of the names. Yeah, they're both good names. Whatever you want to go do. Either way, your kid's going to be a star. Anderson, yeah. Yeah, either way would be good. Anderson is unique. He's definitely unique. And it's old.

Well, Chuck Berry's real name is Anderson. Well, that's not a good sign. The first one is that he changed it. That's his given name. What is it? You know, there's the given name because someone gave it to you. Yeah. And then you're like, well, I'm doing something different. I gave it back. Yeah. Well, your given name is Nathan, Nathaniel. Yeah. And then if I'm like, well, hey, I don't really like that I was given that. Anderson Silva. Oh, yeah. There you go. Yeah. Yeah.

drops off pretty good after that. Yeah. Yeah. It's different. It's definitely different. What about Anderson Dawson? Look at that mustache on that guy. Yeah. Do you want that Heather? I mean, yeah, no, but it's not, it's, it's a, it stands out. I bet there's other Aiden's in your class. There's not going to be another Anderson. No.

Instead of the joke of two first names, you got two last names. What would be a nickname for that? Andy. Huh? Andy. Andy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Andy Huffton. Andy Huffton's a good name. You could go Ander. Yeah, Ander. Really keep it unique. Yeah. And you could say, this is my daughter, Anderson. Anderson.

This is his daughter, Anderson. Sarah and Dippity. Yes, yes. Yeah, that is funny. This is my daughter, Anderson. Yeah. Yeah, like you would be saying, you're like, this is Jill Anderson. Yeah. And you're like, what? This is my son, Anderson. I like it. Yeah. I'm a big fan of it. All right, so this week we are talking about art.

I feel like I could be a movie critic. Did we not do art with Kevin Eland? Yeah. No, we didn't get into it. We were going to, but we didn't get into it. Okay. I feel like I could be a film critic. I feel like I watch movies. I can tell you why they're good, why they're bad, all that.

Music, I don't really can't tell the difference. You think you can say something unique about movies? I mean, to the point where I could watch a movie and tell you probably what it's going to be on Rotten Tomatoes. Okay. By the critics. By the critics or the people? Critics. You can't do the people. No. You're not a man of the people. No.

See, I think I'm the greatest average American because I know when people are going to be like, we're not on board with that. We don't like that. But you're the opposite. He doesn't even care about what they think. You're above the elite, the elitist average American. That's right. Yeah. But art...

I, my father-in-law worked for the Frist Art Museum until a couple of years ago. He got us season passes and we would go and I look at art and I don't get it at all. I look at it. I'm like, I feel like I could do that. I know I couldn't, but I feel like some of these, some of these paintings that are priceless. I'm like, I could do that.

So we have so many, this is going to be one of those episodes where it's probably gonna drive people crazy because we have so many talented artists that are fans of the podcast. This shirt I'm wearing here, Jesse Rothacker sent all of us Nate Land shirts. Very nice of him. But the design is done by Keir Smith, who does a lot of funny caricatures for us. And he sent us this, he sent us all a card. That's from the Dakotas episode.

Very, very, very talented artist. Yeah, that's the TV show that they want to create. Yeah, the Nate and Slay show.

Yeah, or Nate's my next door neighbor at Rich. In a trailer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so we got a lot of talented artists here. Now that, I'm like, that's amazing. I could never do that in a million years. But then I see some paint splashed on a wall, and I'm like, I think I could do that. You could. I could? Yeah. Oh, so you're, okay. Paint splashed on the wall? Yeah, this is a trick they pulled on us, I think. Yeah, but I think it's a trick that it's the...

It's the way we always talk about people say they're a comedian and they're not a comedian, but they're funny on Instagram or they make funny things and they're always like, well, I'm a comedian. If you're really looking at the art of stand-up comedy, you're like, you're not really doing it. And I would imagine artists paint...

There's a lot of like painting like that where it's like you get some hype around somebody. It's about that. And then they go, oh, I did this. And you just go, wow. And you can just, it looks fine. But I bet there's, there's, there's the difference is probably wild. And it's like, it's like, oh yeah, dude. It's like, you're like, that's just. I know there is a difference. I just can't realize it. Like Jackson Pollock, who was an abstract artist, he would just literally throw paint

on a canvas and make it into something what's one of his but if he was the first is he the first to do this he kind of pioneered that style yeah so here's a jackson pollock painting yeah so he's doing it beautiful well it's more like no that's a jackson pollock like you'd be like oh wow you got that but if the guy was no one was doing that at that time then yeah then it is

then, right? I mean, you would agree that it's like, oh, I've never seen you. Like painting was more, it was a painting. And now it's like, he has some method to this or whatever. And now you're just buying the name. Totally. You know, this is like the money laundering that goes into this art. Oh, yeah. If I commissioned Dusty, if I pay you $5,000 to make me a painting, and then I get it. And then I had my friend Brian who,

appraises art for a living. He values it at $20 million. Then I donate that to a museum and I write off $20 million on my taxes from a $5,000 painting. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that happens all the time. Oh, I got to get into art then. Is that why people are into... That's why they're...

I will. The people think, I mean, a lot of these paintings were like, why is that a $70 million painting of just a red square? Yeah. Like that's why, because this is, this is money laundering about the world's richest people. Yeah. I've never heard that. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense. I have heard of some people painting and selling their paintings for really a lot of money where it's like, that seems sketchy. Yeah. Like why would anyone buy that for that much money?

I mean, there is something to spending money on good art, but obscene amounts of money doesn't make sense. I agree. It's owning the thing. Like, it gets... Yeah, like, is that Banksy? Like, is that a true artist? Like, I mean, because he goes and just pops up and you don't know where it's going to be and then people find it, you know? Right. Yeah, I mean... Like, his is like...

you know, famous because it's like, you don't even know who that guy is. Right. There's some, no, we don't. There's a few people. They think it might be that the main, the number one guy they think is a guy named Robin Gunningham. And, um, he's an artist and there's been a few clues that make people think it's him, but no, no one knows for sure. There's like three or four people that, um, does he get money?

Banksy? Yeah. I don't think so. Doesn't he just do it where... But he is a publicist, so that's what's weird. Oh, yeah. Banksy does? Yeah.

Interesting. The graffiti artists can be really good. There was a guy, I can't remember his name, but there was a guy in Charleston and it was just this shopping center that was basically a dead shopping center with a giant empty parking lot. But you would drive around behind it and the backside of it was just this beautiful graffiti artwork along the whole backside of the building. It was just, I would take people there all the time when they would visit Charleston, I would just take them to see this.

And he would just do it all with spray paint. And it was really on James Island. I don't know. Maybe people have seen it. They listened to the podcast. But it was so great. Yeah, graffiti. I mean, you always see it under bridges where you're like, how did they get? I think it's about getting there. Yeah. I always see it. I think, how did they get up there? How did no one catch? This could not have been quick. Like Banksy, there's cameras everywhere now. It seems like, how does he do it and no one sees it? Well, he just picks it. Picks a spot. There are no cameras? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's it. Wow. This is some of this. Oh, you found it. Amazing. Yeah. Yeah, Google's pretty great. That's okay. I mean, I just... It's not loading real well, but I said James Island Graffiti. You remember these particular... Yeah, that kid with the boxing gloves for sure. Oh, yeah. Those are nice, man. Yeah, those are very nice. They're not loading right now for some reason. Yeah, there's like a... I don't know. Yeah, it was really great stuff, though. It's cool.

There's legendary street artists, graffiti artists. There's a documentary about guys like in New York and Philadelphia that just are legends for doing it. Yeah, it's probably even... That's like true art, probably. Like where it's guys that are doing it and not making any money and they're just putting it out there. Yeah. But I mean, I would think... I get... Laura likes some art. She always likes local. Like if there's like...

like local or someone we know like some of my uh my buddy's wife uh amy uh moffitt uh she they live in charlotte she's uh she became an artist we got one of her paintings and uh she does paint she was like she's like rated in charlotte is one of the top artists like but uh they're but they're they're there's we have one of hers is the abstract like that kind of i like that yeah

Yeah, it's like that. I like that kind of stuff. Like, it's just, it adds, I think, it's a lot of adding color to a room and... Yeah. Where they say, like, depth, which there's, you know, but it's, I could see owning, or, but if you own, like, what's the, you know, what is it, Leonardo DiCaprio? Da Vinci. Da Vinci. Yeah. I'd buy one of his paintings, too. Yeah. Yeah, but it is, like, because I could see, like,

I could see it being a collector thing if you were like, all right, I want to buy. I always want to get some kind of collecting thing, some hobby. And I could see it. If you got a crazy painting, but it is. Someone could paint the Mona Lisa. You're like, well, someone could paint that better now. But it's about what it is, how it got there. The Jackson Pollock, it's about that guy's name.

Yeah, you know, I could tell all of your jokes word for word, but I didn't come up with them, right? Yeah. It's like having the idea. Yeah. The first one to do it. Yes. That's more important. Yes. And so you're coming up with that kind of... That's the real art. Mm-hmm. Would you say that stand-up comedy is art, Dusty? Yeah, for sure it is. I mean, I think there is, with all of this stuff, there is comedy that can be done,

that I would not consider art uh but name names well you know it's like you can just tell jokes and and jokes are just jokes I don't think there's really much art to it but like you know going up on stage and standing up there for an hour and creating a show where people just watch you just stand still and tell jokes I mean there's definitely an art to that to where it's like you

you know, you're bringing them into your world. It's almost like a visual art in a way. Visual, audio, like you're bringing them in, painting pictures for them in their minds. Yeah. All right. Storytelling is an art form. But it's like there is comedy where you're really just making people laugh. And I don't know, maybe that's art too, but I don't know. I don't. Like in a nightclub, you don't.

But it's like, would you think of bands like that? Like if a band is just in a nightclub playing, I would imagine it's maybe it's not art yet. Yeah. Yeah. But it could be art eventually, but it's not, it's not art yet. Maybe the process is the art dude.

I thought you were going to be all into that. No, no, I'm saying it's not art yet. You don't get a... The beginning is, it becomes art. I mean, I don't know if you ever really get it. The person should not be able to say, I'm doing the art. It's up to people to decide when it becomes art. Yeah.

And so if you're in a bar doing blah, blah, whatever, you can't, it's not art. You're not art yet. It's not even able to be art yet. Yeah, with that in mind, I just want to state that I don't walk around calling myself an artist. Being like, look at this art I'm creating. Guy with the long hair and beard, I imagine. But yeah, I mean, there is, I mean, James Gregory used to say, he would say that there's more people that do brain surgery than do what we do, you know, professionally. But rocket science.

Uh, well he only said brain surgery. I don't, I don't know. And I don't know if that's true, but I heard him say it and I liked it. Yeah. Well, there's more, we need more brain surgeons than comedians. We do need more, but, um, he's just saying. Here's the definition of art. Art is any form and art in any form is an expression or application of human creativity, skill, and imagination.

Yeah. So what I would say is a lot of this stuff that I'm talking about, there's no real imagination. Just skill and creativity. I mean, I've seen people be really hilarious with very generic jokes where I'm like, not a lot of creativity here, but I'm laughing. It's hard to think of it as art, though, because you're like, all right. You're just out there being dumb. Yes.

yeah and there's drunk people right in front of you and it just feels very you're in a mall i mean you know it just feels silly i have jokes that i would not say are art and then i have others that i would be like yeah that's an art joke yeah you know yeah but you're right yeah i mean there's just a bunch of drunk people yelling at you going this guy's not really that funny and uh you know you get that kind of stuff where it's like i don't know is this hard i might just go back to working at the home depot you know what i mean you

You should tell people before each joke which ones you think are and which ones aren't. I may start doing that. Dude, I had a guy, I got heckled at the Opry this past weekend. Whoa. Which just made me think like there's like this venue, it was like such a big show. It felt very like regal. It's still this dude in the front.

I said something like, I'm not dumb. I was just trying to lead into a bit. He goes, that's a matter of opinion. I go, yeah, but I'm the one talking right now. I kind of snapped that. I kind of lost my cool. Pretty much. Well, yeah.

It's always the hecklers in the front that get me. If the guy had been in the balcony, yelled out, that's a matter of opinion, I can make that a joke. But you're right up front. Maybe the only people that heard you is me. It might have just been me. So it's like, those are the worst. That's the heckler that bothers me the most. Would you go back and listen to it and see if you hear him? I should get the tape. I can get it.

I feel like art is like it's not for – it shouldn't be for the artist to decide. If you're the person, it's not up to you. You don't get to say if you're doing art or not. You just do your thing. And then other people can decide if it's art or it's not art. I like that. And the second you start thinking about you being an artist – It's no good. Well, that's – and I think that's a problem we have in the world today is everybody tells you what –

they're doing, whether it's, I'm not saying in comedy, but if it's in anything, they're telling you, because they have to have a reason for why they're doing this. And so they tell you, well, it's, but I'm an art, like I'm this, I'm that, this is art. What I do is hard. What I, they got to tell you where it's, I would have, I would think, uh,

Anybody else, it's like if he made that painting, he just makes that painting. And if it becomes what it becomes, that's on us that made it become that. He didn't go, this one's going to be a big one. I don't know. You think there's a guy at Subway calling himself a sandwich artist? Yeah. I guarantee it. Yeah, but it was like they're – Guaranteed. Like a guy that owns a store –

that a sandwich shop and like does it like he just this is what he does he's good and then everybody that goes there like dude it's like he's like an artist with this sandwich and he is an artist with the sandwich and but it's up to it's up to him it's his thing like he you know we call him the artist he doesn't call himself the artist but i think too many people call themselves the thing now which is that's the end dude like you can't call yourself you you don't get to decide that's the

that's the, I think the whole point of art. That decides if you make it or don't make it. So you could be a painter. You can call yourself a painter, but not an artist. Yeah, I mean, I think people say artists maybe just out of like, what are we going to do? I'm not going to have a four-hour conversation with you about stuff, whatever. So you might just, you can probably be like, I'm an artist, like I'm a painting artist, you know, and you'd be like, okay, you're just trying to move on. But in general, like, maybe that can even be the tie. Like, I'm not trying to get into the,

Is it semantics of it all? Because some of it's like you're moving on. But you could paint cabinets and you're still painting. Yeah. But you're not an artist. No, no. But I mean- Unless somebody comes in and looks at your cabinets and goes, dang, you're an artist. Well, the-

Like the Nancy Meyers kitchens, the way her kitchens are designed in all Nancy Meyer movies became a very big thing that people are like, oh, I love the kitchen she had. So them coming up with those kitchens is like there is an art to that and the fact that people are enjoying – they see it in the movies and they're like, oh my gosh, look at these – like the way it's set up and everybody wants that kitchen. That is a –

There's an art to that in the fact that there is design. And that's, I mean, if you go look at an old church, like, you know, whatever, it's like the way it's built and set up. You're like, you know, the architecture, all of it. I'm sure there's something to it. But you just, you don't get to say it. It's not up to you. When I looked up how many different types of art there is, the internet has...

a wide array but there's comedy's probably not even on there it's not but it's grouped it's grouped under a but spoken word I bet it's on there well here's here's the list that I went with that says there's seven different forms of art painting sculpture literature architecture cinema music theater oh we're theater yeah

I mean, they're trying to shut the door on us, but we're like, no, no, we're a theater. And there you go. No, we're not. They don't consider stand-up comedy because it's... Now we're mad. We are artists. Let me tell you something. This is the hardest art I've ever done in my life. And if these people got the nerve to not call me an artist, I'm the best artist. All the stuff I say, I just throw it out the window. Well, you know, I started with improv. And like improv, there's a thing. Like improvisers are like, we're doing art.

And they don't believe that stand-up comedy is art. They're like, we're doing art. Were you good at improv? I was decent. Okay.

I couldn't create characters, but I'm sharp enough. It's got to be a brutal improv to watch. To create a scene. It's either great or it's... To somebody like, ah... I wasn't starting my own troupe, but I can add to an already existing troupe. Yeah. Are you glad you did it? I am glad I did it. I liked it. I had a lot of fun doing it. Yeah. But I don't like short form games. I like long form improv where you make scenes and...

And it's like watching an unscripted play. Okay. Yeah, I'm sure it's fun to watch. If done right, it is very fun. But I see what you're saying. I mean, if done wrong, it's terrible. Yeah. It's really bad. You got to follow the rules, you know? I have trouble picturing you playing a character. I don't do characters. You know, I'd be basically just me. I'd be dusting every single one. Yeah.

Well, we're supposed to be aliens on Mars. Yeah, well, but they have Home Depot at Alien on Mars. Exactly, exactly. We're having a good time. Right, but they always considered that art and not stand-up comedy, and they really looked down on the stand-up comedy side. It's so funny. If what you did is so funny, write it down and do it again. Right. You know what I mean? Exactly. Well, it's hard.

And like, so I understand that with improv. It is hard to come up with stuff. But it's easier because you have the benefit of it being in the moment. Yes. Yeah, but it's... But I mean, you get... It's a lot of work. It takes them a long time to get... It's hard, I'm sure, to come up with stuff. But like the bar for a joke is so much lower. Yeah, yeah. But it...

But, I mean, to get to a high level of it is, and to be flowing like that, whose line is it anyway, to those guys to be, that's pretty, that's a lot of years. Well, they're like amazing, yeah. But, I mean, I know that's why it's like there's a lot of years that go into that. And so, I would argue that the improvs that you don't know and they're complaining when they're young, you're like, yeah, well, you're not good. But to get to the highest level,

you know, if you're Chris Farley and you're those guys, that's a different, that's a, that's a completely different kind of thing. Those people are very funny people. Right. Right. And like, so there, there is something different to that, but yeah, I know what you mean. Like it's, the bar is lower. It's, uh, you can save it with being dirty probably at any point. Yeah. Same argument for standup. And improv people are so wacky. I, I said one time kind of jokingly, but I kind of blame, uh,

My alcoholism on improv because I moved to Charleston. I started hanging out with all these improv people and they were like at the bar after the show doing bits, you know, doing characters. And I'm like drinking, hoping, thinking that if I get drunk enough, I can be goofy like they are. Right.

You know, so I'm trying to keep up with these improvisers by drinking. And then I just end up in a fight. Yeah. You know what I mean? Little did you know, you were meant to be a stand-up comic in the back of the room. Yes. Making fun of everyone else in the room. Yes. I don't know if I was supposed to read that, but... I think so. The, um...

I'm still not getting used to this new format. And when you started that, I was like, where's he going with this? How's this tying into art? Is gambling art? Could be. Is a poker player? Yeah. Yeah. Is that an art? It's got to... I mean, it's a loose... You could say... I mean, because it's an art to reading people to...

No, it's a... I mean, it's a skill. Or a science, maybe. Well, but there has to... You have to have... I would imagine the great ones have some art to it. Like, Tiger Woods is, you know, like Michael Jordan. Like, there's some art to it. There's the skill to it, but then there's the art, the vision that they see to do the, you know, shot, to take the shot. But you really wouldn't consider that to be an art. I just watched the movie Maverick the other day, and Mel Gibson in that movie really makes it look like art. Yeah. I've never seen that. I mean, it's...

Yeah, it's great. I mean, he really, yeah, reading people's tells and stuff like that. He really. Hey, if I, I'm drinking, I'm drinking, I just got a coffee. Can I drink out of a straw if I've been, it's been like 12 days since my. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 12 days is your fine. Yeah. Let's find out. Totally. Yeah. I mean, just don't put a lot on it.

You know what I mean? Kind of ease it up on there. Oh, it's like when you go. Yeah. Yeah. And then that causes like the suction to pull the blood clot out. Your blood clots been healed for days. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're good. Well, Maverick is a great movie. Uh, James Garner, he was the original Maverick and then this was the remake. Okay. But James Garner plays his dad in that movie. Well, I don't give it away, but yeah. All right. Yeah. Yeah.

That's really the big reveal at the end.

Oh, it is? Yeah. Oh, God. I mean. Is it? Again, a 30-year-old movie. Well, it is a reveal, but it's also not pivotal for the movie. I could still enjoy it. Oh, yeah. I could watch it. I mean, the movie is, to me, about 30 minutes too long, but it is very good. Here's though where. I like it a lot. I think the giving away movies, though, why it's tough is because you got to think people that are in their 20s and 30s would never have seen these movies.

So then they go back and you're ruined. As a movie critic, as you just claimed yourself-

You're one of the worst ones in the fact that you give away most of the ends of movies. That's what movie critics do. They talk about movies. All his reviews would just be spoilers. And that's the first line. If you have the most famous joke ever, the sixth sense about spoilers. But I didn't claim to be a movie critic. Brian's ruinsmovies.com. Maverick is peak Mel Gibson. I mean, Mel Gibson is crushing in this.

It went like Maverick, Braveheart, Patriot. Like back to back to back. Oh, yeah. See, I think Lethal Weapon, Mel Gibson. I like Lethal Weapon, but that was the big... Mel Gibson, what a career. Passion and Christ. Really took a turn. Ups and downs. But I mean, to go from... He was just an actor in Australia, just like a local actor when Mad Max happened. Oh, then he kind of took off after that. Yeah.

What a story. Yeah. How old was he? I mean, he's got kind of a wild story. He was like a small-time actor. And then he got a big role. Yeah. That's the main... What a journey. Golly, can't believe... The rollercoaster took us on. It's like Michael Jordan. He was just a guy who played basketball in high school. That's all he was. And then...

And one day he's a pro. And one day he's a pro. Pretty wild story. Heard Dolly Parton was a little girl at one point. A little girl with a guitar and a dream. Anybody want to guess how many colors there are out there? Colors? Primary colors? Primary colors and then total colors. I think the way you say that word sounds like the U is in it. Is that how the British say it? Yeah, yeah.

It's like if I heard you say that word and you go spell it, I would spell it the way the British spell it. I'd be like, well, definitely O-U-R-S. Colors. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, they say Southern accent is just a slowed down version of British accent. Really? Who says that? That sounds like a drunk maniac right there. Huh? Bear soon? It's just like he woke a bear up over there. Brombeite. Brombeite. Brombeite? What do you got over there? You got a little hundred grand? Yeah.

Someone tries to rob you, walks out with just a bag of change. No supplies. Oh, from the cap store? Do you even have a bag to carry this change in? No, we don't have any supplies, sir. Damn it, Brian Bates. Brian? Brian Bates. Brian Bates. Well, there are 11 main colors.

Not primary. Well, I don't know the difference, but there's 11 main ones. Well, primary are like red and yellow and blue. I imagine those are the main ones then. And then red and yellow make... There's another one too, though, I think. Blue and yellow make green. Yes. But if you mix them all together... Red and blue make purple. Different shades. So...

You've got to look at how many shades of light. Before you read this, ask if it seems like anybody's going to care. Other than me? Yeah. All right. Well, I'm going to keep going. There's a thousand shades of light that the eye can detect. George H.W. Bush said that, I think, in a speech. A thousand points of light. Yep.

we can also see it. He goes, he just reading, he just listening to his speeches. Is that what y'all played for school every morning? I'm colorblind. Yeah. How many, is there like a quick answer to that? 10,000. Okay. Uh,

I was going to tell you how we got to that number, but yeah, okay. I can't imagine. It's interesting. And... The TVs don't have yellow on them. Did you know that? Oh, really? Yeah. You can't wear yellow? No. There's no...

I can't find a good article about this. No, I mean, look, you can see yellow on the TV, but there's not actually yellow pixels. How can you not find a good article about it? Because he made it up. How many articles? Imagine the publication that's like, what do you want to write about? You know there's no yellows on TV screens? And he goes, all right, well, with the Wall Street Journal, okay, you're a good writer.

I found some hobo writing about it, but I can't find just a solid article about it. Oh, man. It's tough to find. Go to the colorblind test. Okay. And if people can see this, I'm colorblind. We've done this, haven't we? Did we do the color test? I don't remember. Not while I've been here.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So I cannot. So, yeah, we'll get it to the, yeah. Did we do it? Maybe we, we have, I can see. So I see 12. The second one's kind of tough. I'm trying to think that the, I see, is that three right there? Second, the bottom one on the second, I do not see a number. Wow. And that farthest one in the middle. Yeah. I see nothing. Okay. Okay.

So that's red and green. Looks like the red and green is in trouble. What about the bottom row, the third one over? Five. To me, that's the toughest one. It's hard to see. It's not like it just pops out. 12 pops out the most. The other ones I can see. The bottom right one, I can't tell what that is. I don't even see anything. It's 45 there. I see all those. Oh, really? I feel good, yeah. Oh, you do? Yeah. There you go. Yeah.

Feels good. I'd rather talk about the shades, the different colors. How did we get there? How did we get to 10,000 then? Let me see. Let me go back now. I'll have to look it back up. But there are different types of artists. There's sketch artists. There's police sketch artists. Oh, yeah. One of the worst sketch artists for courtroom was the Tom Brady sketch during Deflategate. Do you remember this? Okay, there it is. Oh, wow. Yes.

What, did they let this person work? It's not a bad, like... I don't know if you'd guess it's Tom Brady. You would never guess that's Tom Brady. But it's... Yeah, some of the stuff with his art, like, how did they... Was he in a hurry? Like, it feels like if you... For this one, you'd go, well, how long was the trial? And they're like, 10 minutes. And you'd go, oh, okay. He had to scribble that out quick. Yeah, then I understand. I think it is a...

There probably is a rush to get it done so that you can sell it to the news stations quickly, right? Why can't they take pictures? In federal court, it's just not allowed. I think something about juries and- I'm saying I don't mind it either. Just protecting your privacy? I don't mind the drawing of it. I think I kind of like that it's kind of old school. You almost have to make sure you're this bad of an artist.

to be able to do it. You're not violating Tom Brady's privacy at all. The more you focus in on it, you can see Tom Brady in that camera. Well, why is Sylvester Stallone right next to him? You would never guess that if you didn't know, though. No. Maybe a little less focus on the guy behind him. Doesn't that look like Sylvester Stallone? Oh, yeah. I would think that's Sylvester Stallone more than I would think that's Tom Brady. Tom Brady, yeah.

And then I go, I would say that, and then you go, well, that's Tom Brady. You go, well, that's definitely Sylvester Stallone. I'm sure they hung out. And then Bill Belichick in uniform here. Yeah. Yeah, that's terrible. Robert Kraft probably in the back. White hair. Just right there? No, no. The guy you just zoomed in on. That's who he said Belichick. Is that hair? It looks like he's wearing a hat. I thought it was a hat, too. It looks like an underarm. I don't think he's wearing a hat in federal court. Well, you never know.

The fact that that went to... Where'd it go? That's the big court, right? Well, it's not the Supreme Court, but it's... But it's enough that we shouldn't have been there? Yeah. Over... Enough that it was silly that they were there. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's police sketch artists that sometimes go terribly wrong. I want to ruin the reveal. Do you want to set this up at all? Like, what is it? Well...

This is a real police sketch artist, and they gave him a description, and I will say the guy was caught. Really? Wow. Oh, gosh. I mean, it's just an expressionless. I love they didn't even try to put eyebrows in on the sketch. And the fact that they got him.

I know. I have to believe that it had nothing to do with the police sketch. Yeah, the sketch didn't help. They didn't look at the sketch and then go to the mall and go, wait, is that? It looks like a Muppet.

He's got Lego hair. Yeah, it's like that's bring your kid to work day. And the sketch artist is like, let my son do it. That's what it looks like, yeah. But we'll take a lot of time shading his neck so that the light is real. I wonder, if you're a sketch artist at a police thing, are you just, is that your only job? Ooh, that's a good question. Or do you think it's just the police artist, or police artist? Is it just a policeman that can kind of draw? No, no, I mean, is it,

Is it like, do they, are they also go work at the fair? Like, you know, is it, is it, you're like grabbing those guys or is it like the guy just sits in a room with a big board and it's just like, when he's, when they need him, they need him.

When I worked at Channel 5, there was a federal court case where we had to hire a sketch artist. And I asked around some of my friends. And they're like, I know a guy. And he came in and he interviewed and he showed us some of his sketches. So I'm like, all right, we're going to hire you to be our sketch artist. And this is just a friend recommended this guy. He showed us his sketches. So the day of the trial, federal courthouse, downtown Broadway, Nashville. I'm there. He's not there. And it's about to start. And I'm freaking out just like in a movie. Like, where's my guy? He comes in wearing...

jean shorts on rollerblades, sweating. It was like middle of July. He had rollerbladed over from East Nashville. And I mean, I think he did a fine job as a sketch artist, but it was like my cousin Viti as far as how embarrassed I was at the moment that this guy was who I picked to represent us. Wow. It doesn't really answer your question at all. Did you find the guy? That was the guy I just described. That was the guy. No, the sketch artist. But after he sketched the person, did you find him?

It was a trial. It was like the Tom Brady thing. Oh, he's got to go in there and draw it. Yeah, he was there all day. It says only about 100... This is as of six years ago. This is an article on some website.

Only about 100 full-time sketch artists remain on police payrolls in the United States. It's a dying breed. Most police departments now rely on part-time contractors for suspect sketches. Others just use computer programs where you can create sketches from preloaded facial features. So this is kind of... This is before COVID. I'd go ahead and say there's zero full-time. I bet you're right. I bet you're right, yeah. There's probably some old-school...

An old school police captain that wants to keep one around or something. I saw some digital sketches that went bad too where they'll say, oh, the guy had some facial hair and then he'll look like a wolf man. So sometimes computers mess it up too. That can't be real.

That is real. Now, that was not a sketch artist. That was someone who they just asked to sketch what the suspect looked like. An amateur sketch. Oh, okay. But they also caught that guy. That's closer than the other one. That is closer than the other one. At least got the proportions of his eyes and everything. Yeah. I don't know what these little lines on the cheeks are for. Yeah, he goes, can you draw? Yeah, I can do a little bit. I'll do a little bit. In theory. I know how it works. I can't draw at all. No? I mean...

I'm the least imaginative person. Well, I mean, that's different. I can draw, but I don't think of what I'm drawing. I can just draw something like a picture in a book or something. Yeah. Maybe if I tried, yeah. I don't know. I used to draw all the time. Me too. All the time. Were you good at it? Pretty good. Not great. Pretty good, though. Decent. Yeah. Left-handers are better. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I did all right. I mean, I don't draw much at all now. I have a smartphone, you know, so any boredom is on my phone. But when I was a kid, I'd have to go to my grandmother's house. She wouldn't let me watch anything on TV. There's no one to play with. I would just lay on the floor and draw. Yeah. You think that's a real problem? It's good for imagination. Just the boredom? Yeah. There's no boredom anymore. Right, no.

Because you just TikTok or whatever else. It used to be like you flip through the channels on TV and they're like, oh, there's nothing on. And you just cut it off and try to go do something. But now there's always something on. You can always find something. Yeah. And that's usually where you did interesting stuff. Right. Came up with an idea, wrote a joke, wrote a song, something. Yeah. Not anymore. It's gone. Are you talking about your generation or? I'm talking about all of us. Are you saying you did that?

I think so. Yeah. I think all innovation comes out of either boredom or desperation. Yeah. And I think we have less of both of those. Yeah. That's probably true. I thought maybe by your time you were a child, there was a bunch of options. I mean, I had a stick for like six years. Yeah.

You didn't even get creative with it. You're like, I got to stick. No, I got very creative with it. That's all I had. Still want talks to it. You learned a lot of stuff to do with it.

But now there's the AI that you love that can just draw anything, right? Right, right. Somebody just sent us some of you. I'll have to forward to you. I don't know even what it is. You put in a program and it just... Oh, dude, I was getting open. I can get open AI chats to write jokes in your voice. Oh, really? It's awesome. Yeah. You want to see that real quick? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'll pull that up. It'll take just two seconds, Brian. All right.

That, yeah. I mean, that's the part that's like, so they start being funny or they start being creative, then the artist is gone. But people are still going to want, you still want like, we want to be around each other. Totally. But it's a fun thing to play around with. Now, what do you want to hear a joke, Nate, to write a joke about? Give me a topic. Do an improv. Come on. You're decent at it. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, you want me to know? Oh, not a joke about... This is right a joke in the style of Nate Bargetzi about... About farming. Farming. Chickens. Farming chickens. Yeah. All right, I'm not saying this is going to be great material, but it is... Oh, that's not good at all. Oh, boy. They just end up as poultry in motion. That's a joke. Let's do a stand-up. Well, try to do it. How do they... I think, because I've done this where it was...

All right, so if you're listening, write a stand-up comedy bit in the style of Nate Bargatze about farming chickens. And then I'll read it. Okay. All right. So I'm a farmer, right? And I've got these chickens on my farm. Now, I don't know if you've ever tried to herd chickens before, but let me tell you, it's not easy. They're like the teenagers of the animal kingdom. They just wander off and do their own thing.

So I'm out there trying to round them up, and I see one of them making a break for it. It's running across the field, flapping its wings and squawking. And I'm like, hey, get back here. But it doesn't even hear me. So I chase after it, and I finally catch it, and I bring it back to the coop. And do you know what it does? It looks at me and says, I was just trying to cross the road. I swear to you, these chickens are constantly trying to cross the road.

I don't know what they're hoping to find on the other side. Maybe they think they'll find some kind of chicken utopia. All I know is they never make it. They just end up as poultry in motion.

But hey, at least they're providing me with some good material for my stand-up comedy career, so I guess I can't complain too much. Wow. It kind of got... But I mean, the up top was pretty... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the rhythm of it, I think. Because I've done... I did one when I was just trying this out. I was like, write a bit about... Style of Neighbor gets about bagels. It was like, bagels. I mean, how do you even spell bagels? It was just like a bit about how you couldn't spell bagels. It wasn't even about bagels. I was like, oh, this is great. Can it do... Like, how does it... Does it know, like, your...

I think based on just some of the responses, it looks like it's, it's this has no, not this is by the way, this is the chat open AI. It says there's no, this has no information past the year 2021, but I think it found, or I think you can look up some of like the transcripts from your specials. That's what I think just based on some of the responses that I got. It would have to be almost seem like for it to be that accurate. Yeah. It's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you seen the picture of the news anchor who read the story about the, I think it was a rapist on the loose and the sketch looked exactly like him? Oh, yeah. Oh, man. That's too bad. Yeah, that's tough. That's tough.

Was it him? No, it was not him. When you're on the news like that, can you see the picture that comes up? Yeah. So he can look at the picture that's up there on the screen? Mm-hmm. There's like a monitor that he's looking at as well. And that's probably, did anybody, did they address that? I don't think in the moment they did. Now it's become a famous. I've never seen the video of this. I've only seen the screenshot. And I searched for it and couldn't find. Uh-huh. So I think someone took a picture off their screen and that might be a 20-year-old photo. Yeah.

There is a, uh, in Boston, there's a museum of bad art and, um, they have a whole protocol. It's called MOBA, MO, Museum of Bad Art. And they, uh, they collect bad art from artists. They have a protocol. You can't just, anybody has to do it. It has to be someone who's legitimately trying, wasn't trying to do it as a joke. And it has to have a certain aesthetic badness to it. So you can go there, you can see it and they've got some examples there. Um,

or anyway, I saw some photos earlier, but anyway, it's a, it's just a place for bad art. Yeah. Oh, well, is there none of it? I saw websites. Thanks. Oh, pretty good. Yeah. Like I said, I can't tell the difference to me. This one looks terrible. Yeah. Well, they, yeah, I'd hang that. It's, but I think that it is bad, but it's, it's, it's, uh, it's how it's presented.

Yeah. A lot of it's that. If they presented you that that was good, then you would assume it's good. Oh, totally. You could hang this in the Louvre or whatever, and I'd be like, oh, I guess I don't get it, but it must be good. But I think people that are into art can, there's something to it. I'm sure. But it's, I do think a lot of it is, but that's how everything is. Everything is, it's being presented.

But we have a way, stand-up comedy, you know immediately if it's good or bad because people give you an audible response. Yeah, that's why, yeah. I mean, that's why, I guess people would say stand-up though is like you say the same stuff over and over again. Yeah. But it's like that's, but that is the art of it is like, you know, because otherwise you're like, well, then it's not good.

Like even like improv, there's just a run of risk of improv. You're like, you're going to hit a stretch that's, you know, unless they're great, it could be really bad.

Where stand-up, it can be bad, but if you get to a higher level, it's like, well, it's hard to get it to, I mean, it's hard to get it to that point. And that's your painting, right? It's spoken word, but it's like, if you paint a really good painting, you hang it in a museum, then people come look at it. And they don't go, oh, it's the same old painting every time. It's like, but if you're, so it's like our joke is our painting. Yeah. All right, so I'll end on this. That was nice.

In 2012, in a little town in Spain, there was a painting on a church wall of Jesus. And it was called Behold the Man. And it was starting to crack. And it was painted in 1930, so it was starting to crack and fall apart. So this elderly woman, I think she was 81 years old, kind of volunteered herself to try to restore the painting. So she was going to repaint it herself and fix it up.

And things went terribly wrong. And here's the before and after. Oh, gosh. Oh, it's so sad. Oh, dude. Now, in her defense, I don't know that she's 81. She said she went on a two-week vacation and was going to finish it when she got back. She wasn't done. And she said then she gets back from two weeks vacation. And it's a national news story because it's so bad.

It's hard to imagine how you could fix that. Yeah, how do you come back from that? But she says she wasn't done yet. Now, it ended up being, in a way, a great thing because the church was struggling financially. The whole town was struggling financially. And now this little B town has become a huge tourist attraction. And people go there, and it's kind of saved the town. The church, they charge $1, 1 euro per person to enter the church for viewing. And all the proceeds go to help the church.

And this woman who's, I think, still alive, she's in her 90s now, she gets half of the money and it goes to help her son who has cerebral palsy. Oh, wow. So half the money? I said she had to go to a psychiatrist to deal with all the embarrassment and fallout from this. That makes it a lot less fun.

Yeah, I feel sorry for her because she said, I didn't do anything secretive. They knew I was doing this and then it just didn't. Well, don't. Note to self, though. Don't start a project and then go on a two-week vacation. I mean, go ahead and finish up that project. I guess so. She's probably in this little B church thinking nobody's going to see this. And then she's on vacation and the news is there. I mean, it looks tough. It doesn't even look cute. Well, that's like, isn't there like statues and stuff of like, didn't Obama have a weird one?

a statue that's like, wasn't great. Like maybe they talked about that Ronaldo one. That's terrible. Yeah. The Ronaldo one. Uh, there's paintings. I mean, Derek Mason on the side of that. Oh, Vanderbilt. They did that one. Yeah. Yeah. The Ronaldo statue is really bad. And it's like, it is like, how do you get to that point? It's, it's, it's, it's gotta be, it's honestly someone at the top that does not care.

Like, that's almost what it's got to be. I guess I don't know what that guy really looks like, but... I thought... We're going to find a side-by-side here. But, you know, it's like... He doesn't look like that. Yeah, there's a picture... Oh, that side-by-side statue really gave it a... Yeah, it's...

Yeah, he looks like a goofball. I mean, Ronaldo is like almost like, isn't he? He's like almost like the prototype of like the perfect man. Yeah. And like you get that statue to be like, no, dude. Hey, you guys. That's what it looks like. It does look like that. You know, it's like it is like how do you get to that at that level? Yeah. You know, where you're doing something like that. Unless it's like, I guess it's if it's a small town and I don't know the story.

Hasn't there been some NFL Hall of Fame, I feel like now, sculptures that just did not look like them? I feel like there's been some cases. I think you're going to get more and more to that because I don't think people care about anything anymore. Yeah. I think you're going to run into... People just want instant, and so there's not...

But in the Hall of Fame case, they got plenty of time. Yeah, I think Sean Taylor had one that was weird. Oh, yeah, recently, right? Oh, dude. And it's tough to look at. But apparently, it was getting a ton of crap online because it's like a mannequin. Everyone's like, God, we should find a better picture of this. It's Sean Taylor Memorial. But apparently, the family of this guy all said they were really happy with it.

Which I guess is all that matters. Yeah. That first one? Is that not... Yeah. Yeah. This is... If you look, it's like a wiry mannequin. And then like... Just pretty much that's it. Just like shoulder pads. Yeah. It doesn't... There's... It's not... There's no face or anything. There's no statue at all. It's just... Were they going for an artistic look? I guess so. Yeah. Sort of artsy. The most famous statue in the world probably is the Statue of David.

done by Michelangelo in Florence, Italy, which I've been to, I've seen. Big time. Yeah. Michelangelo was asked by the Pope. Back when people could smoke on planes. Yeah. He was still working on it when I got there. Maybe a little there, a little there. Michelangelo was asked by the Pope about his secret of genius and how he carved this beautiful statue. And he said, it's simple. I just remove everything that is not David.

Which is great. I mean, it starts off as one big block, and then he just chisels away and makes it. But if you make one mistake, you're done. Do you got to pay to go see it? No, it's outside, and it's just anybody can see it. You just walk by it, and you're like, all right. Yeah. There it is. Yeah. He also painted, of course, the seal of Sistine Chapel. Sistine Chapel's pretty amazing. I've heard. Did you go in there? I did. Yeah. What'd you think of it? Yeah. It's all right. Yeah.

You couldn't really tell the difference. Bad art, good art. You just couldn't tell. Well, I couldn't tell. I mean, the most famous painting is the Creation of Man. Right. That part right there. That right there. I couldn't tell the difference between that and all the other incredible art on the ceilings. I walked in. I was like, golly, look at all this. Gomer Powell goes to Italy. I was like, there it is right there. And then they're like, nope, that's not it. And I'm like, there it is. No.

Brian Bates. How old were you? How tall was he? 42.

How do you reach up there? Golly. I ain't never seen ceiling that high. Golly. I don't know. I was an adult. Yeah. Well into my adulthood. I think they're selling M&M's over there. I'll take some M&M's. Golly. You get a look at this pain every day as you sell these. I tell you, I used to sell M&M's, Skittles, but it's out in the woods. Now look where I'm at. And now look at you. That's the dream.

All right. I guess that's a good place to stop. Dang, that's cool. Yeah. Where are you guys going to be this weekend? This weekend, I am with Henry Cho in Tullahoma, Tennessee at the South Jackson Civic Center. In January 28th, I'm in Waukesha, Wisconsin at Fox River Christian Church with two other funny comedians, Johnny W. and Darren Streblo. Oh, nice, man.

At the end of January, I'm at Good Nights Comedy Club in Raleigh, North Carolina. And then the next weekend, we got a fun little show. February 3rd. Yeah, February 3rd. We're going to be in Lexington, Kentucky at the Lexington Opera House, right? Dusty's out behind it. Brian and I are there as well. Yep.

Yes. Yes, it's going to be great. I was trying to stall for you to jump in. Oh, yeah. No, it's going to be great. Yeah, it's fun. It's going to be a hot lineup. It's going to be the bad part of the band, as they say, and it's going to be awesome. That'll be Lexington, Kentucky on the 3rd. You know the band is when you see all of us, but for us, it's just going to be the bad. The bad part of the band. Yeah.

But for me, I'm going to be off this coming up weekend. But next weekend, I'm doing a run. Always let them know when you're off. Got to corporate. Got to be doing a run. Mobile, Alabama on the 18th. 19th in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. 20th, Lafayette, Louisiana. 21st, New Orleans, Louisiana. So that's going to be great. You know what? This is a funny thing I've noticed about you, Dusty, is when you say a city,

You always say it like you're differentiating it from another city in the same state. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, next weekend I'll be in Charleston, South Carolina. After that, I'm going to Toledo, Ohio. As opposed to. Yeah, I love it.

I like to let you know. I like to be very specific about what's going on with me. Yeah, I think I'm in Jonesboro, Arkansas. I don't remember. Jackson, Mississippi. Maybe Jackson, Mississippi. Something. I'm going out there. Be Funny Tour starts. Special coming out January 31st. Be close to that. Jackson, Mississippi. Oh, there you go. Jonesboro. Chattanooga. Columbia, South Carolina.

Yeah, you're all over it. Then you're South Bend. Hey. Fort Wayne. Des Moines. First place in magic. Des Moines. And then that special comes out in Vegas. Yep. All right. Wichita Falls, Texas. It doesn't stop. We'll be out there. Be funny to her. All right, everybody. As always.

Well, say this. Thank you to our sponsors, Athletic Greens, Helix Sleep, Better Sleep, DraftKings, and Viore Clothing. Don't forget to use our promo code, Nate. And yeah, as always, we love you. You're great. And we will, yeah, we'll see you next week. All right. All right. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.

Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland podcast.