139: #139 The Return of Greg Warren
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Hello folks and hey bear welcome to the Nate land podcast. Welcome everybody I'm Nate Bargetti, soon Brian Bates, Aaron Weber and filling in for the old Dusty Slay, the original Dusty Slay, Greg Warren. Greg Warren is back.

Everybody loved you when you were on, so they wanted us to have you back. It's a lot of pressure, man. Here we are. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it was great the first time, so now we're going to let people really see. You were on episodes 98, 99, and then we announced Dusty as our new host on the 100th episode. Yeah. I heard something about that, man. I'm a Dusty fan. Well, he's not a fan of yours. Is that right? No, he does not care for you. I don't care.

He's here in town. He's just like, I'm skipping. We told Dusty we put the offer out to Greg. We're waiting to hear what Greg says. You know what? I was trying to negotiate with Nate, and Dusty came in and undercut me. I'm trying to keep it cordial. Yeah. Never overplay your hand. He lives in a trailer park. It's hard not to undercut. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, Greg wanted me to pay for unleaded, Dusty drives diesel, and I go, I gotta go, I gotta go diesel. Yeah. And that's what's sending over the edge. Welcome everybody, glad you are here. We're back in here, because we're about to, we're doing two today, because I'm about to be gone, going to Europe. Yeah. Wednesday. Have you done comedy in Europe before? No.

I've been to Dublin. They had a festival, Vodafone Comedy Festival. So I've done that, but it was like, I didn't headline. It was like just a bunch of comics over there. Okay. So this is the first headlining. First time where you're selling tickets over there. Yeah. And so I've only been to, I've only done Dublin. I haven't done anywhere else. So we're going to London and we're going London first. Harp and Laura are going. And then it'll be London. We're being in London for like 24 hours.

Because I have a corporate show. I have a corporate show Tuesday, tomorrow, and then leave Wednesday nonstop to London out of Nashville. Really? I think it just started. Just started. Frontier? You're coming up as a city. Yeah, Spirit. What? It's half Frontier, half Spirit. I'm coming up as a city. Spirit takes you part of the way out, and then y'all got to switch over to Frontier, and then Frontier carries the rest of the load.

No, I think British Airways, American. And then so we leave at like 7 p.m. and get there like 8 in the morning. And then I have a show that night in London. Wow. And so I got to hope I'm not going to be all just messed up. But I should be good. So London, and then we go to Dublin the next day. So it's going to be, we're not really going to spend any time in London. But we're going to get in as much as we can get in. Yeah.

London, Dublin, and Oslo, and Amsterdam, Belgium. Are you worried at all? I was thinking about this. Do you ever go through your act in your head and think like what is not going to make sense here? And let me say this. Next week's episode is about Europe. So let's not go too far. You know this, Aaron. That's a good point. Okay. All right. So we're awake. We'll talk about it. All right. Yeah. Cliffhanger. Is Scandinavia part of Europe?

Oslo's in Norway, and that's part of Europe, yeah. Yeah. I can't save it for next week, Greg. You're on this episode, too. Yeah, you're on next week's episode, too. Yeah, I just said it, Greg. This is why we didn't go with you. And...

Yeah, Dusty would have nailed this. Stuff like this is just- Dusty, man, that guy knows that Scandinavia is part of Europe. He's always known that. Knows when to talk about it, when not to talk about it. Yeah. That's really the key. Yeah. Knowing to shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you said when- Maybe don't wear a USA hat on the day of Europe. See? But you did right, because today's not a Europe. Yeah. Yeah, man. Don't wear it next week. I got a European hat for this next one. Yeah.

You said you were like worried that you might be messed up for the London show. Jet lag. Yeah. Are you –

I worry about that a lot, but then I realized I'm a little better sometimes when I'm messed up. Like I think I'm funnier when I'm, I kept putting in wrestling terms cause I was like, Oh, I'm going to be tired. I'm not going to wrestle well. And I transferred that over to stand up. And then I realized when I'm tired, I'm pretty good. Yeah. Maybe I don't push as hard or whatever. You don't push that hard anyway, but yeah, but I, yeah, maybe I'm just, uh,

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, like, it is – I always – I think about that, too, with people being tired because, you know, before big games or something or, like, you know, like you got the Braves World Series. Like, you know, like, well, those guys sleep great the night before. You're like – they can't all just be like, I got a perfect day. Like, I think they're all just a little, like, you're kind of –

you know, gassed up and it's hard to sleep. And the adrenaline carries you through. Yeah. And you get out there and you're like, you're kind of tired and you're, you know, you just have like, then you have like a, like a crash after that. When we shot the special, I couldn't sleep the night before. And I was, and usually I'd panic and I woke up and I was like,

Now this is going to be terrible. I was trying to do a crossword puzzle and I'm good at crossword puzzles and I couldn't do it. And I was like, well, I don't, I don't have it today. That's your test. When you wake up, you do a crossword puzzle, New York times crossword puzzle. I was like, I don't have it. I'm not going to, I'm not going to be on tonight. This is going to be, this whole thing is going to fall apart. And then I was like, no, this has happened before.

10 times in the last two months and you've been better when you're not, you didn't have it. And I also, I didn't do a caffeine for about three months before the special. And I was like, on the day of the special, I'm going all in. And I, uh, I went to, I went to the Starbucks and I got, uh, my buddy Tim who opened for me at the special was like, I go, Hey man, I'm going to go grab this stuff. Will you get me a,

Emperor's Cloud Tea, I go, which has two teabags in it. And I was like, and get two extra teabags. Because I was like, I'm going to bring them with me. And then before the second show, I'm going to go again. Can you buy a loose teabag? Yeah, they'll give you their package. So I get there and he gives me the thing. I go, hey, where's the other two teabags? He goes...

They're in there. Oh. It was four teabags. I made a pitcher's worth of tea. And I hadn't had caffeine in three months. And I was like, I don't do drugs, but I understand the lure of the drug. I was in all the way. It felt good? Oh, it was great, man. I tell you guys, if you're going to record something, get off of caffeine for a while and then...

do it then get back on oh man it is it's amazing yeah they tell people that drug problems yeah they go just get off of it a little bit and then come back hard it'll be even better it'll be better i don't think they tell them that yeah you think your generation is the last of the crosswords is that's for sure yeah yeah like that you're you know you're uh i don't

I don't see where we're drastically in a different generation. You have a physical newspaper? You and Brian, yeah. Do you have like a physical newspaper? Like when y'all do fantasy football on your newspaper. Brian and Greg. I want to say something about this. When we were choosing music for the special, I sent something and Nate was like, hey, I got a...

I got a better idea. I have a vision for it. I want this graphic. And my guy has this, I'm thinking sort of like a Dick Van Dyke TV thing. And I emailed back, this is great, but do you think that I'm the same age as Dick Van Dyke? Yeah, I do crosswords on the app, man. On the app, okay. Yeah, I mean, it's a hip, it's a pretty hip thing. As a matter of fact, I read that like the,

Who are the new people? Wordle? No, not the, I mean, not Gen X, but the next one. Gen Z? It's Gen Z. Millennials. Millennials. The millennials are doing crossword puzzles on the, like, to be hip, they're doing it with a pencil. On actual newspaper. That's cool. It's like a hip thing. Yeah. Millennials are old too now, though. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Millennials are, I mean, 40. I'm on the cusp of it. My joke, I'm in the middle of it. Okay. Of Gen X and millennial. I'm directly in the middle. And so I could technically, some places you could argue I am a millennial or some say I'm a Gen X. Okay. Which would put you in the same generation as me. Yeah, we're a different, you're at the top floor. And I'm barely getting in the door. I'm

knocking on baby boomers. We're just three Gen X's around here. Y'all are in it. Y'all know you're way around the Gen X building. Y'all are like, no, no, over here. Nate, Nate, that's not how you do it. What is this coffee? You just got a pot of coffee. Always someone's got a full pot. There's no just individual cups. No, no. It's a pot brewing. Were you one of the last millennials?

I feel like my age is the quintessential millennial. When people make fun of millennials, they're typically talking about people my age. You get it. Yeah, I get it exactly for sure. Yeah. 30 to 32. But Gen Z is 20s, right? Yeah. So you barely, if you were a little bit younger, you'd be a Gen Z. Gen Z's after millennial? Mm-hmm. If he was younger than that, he'd be...

Less. If you were a little bit older, you'd be a boomer. That's true. That is true. Yeah. But the music that we chose, the title and everything, I think that's what I like. No, I love it. I just wanted to make clear that Dick Van Dyke and I are not. It did say Dick Van Dyke. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. It fits in there, which is special. We're announced the exact day, but Vecchione is in March and Greg will be in April. Nice. So towards the end of those months, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, March, April. And so, yeah, I'm super excited for it to come out because it's great. Oh, thanks. It's great. It was great, man. Yeah, super fun. It's just great. It's just a good time. And we did Joe's this weekend. And what I like is between you –

Mike and Joe, they're all very different specials. They're all very fun, but it's nice because they're all very different feeling. They're very different. It's not like it's just the same thing going out. It's really going to be great. Yeah, it was awesome, man. Joe and Mike are awesome.

I saw some of Mike's. It's outstanding. I haven't seen Joe's yet, obviously, but Joe's one of my favorite comics. Yeah, yeah. I'm super pumped. Yeah, it'll be exciting. We'll pump it hard, dude. It's going to be great. It's going to be great. So we can't talk about Europe. No. And then where was I at this week? Oh, we did Joe's special in Asheville. Looks like you had a UFC party. I had a UFC watch party. Oh, really? Yeah.

Yeah, it was pretty awesome. So they asked me to do it. It'll be coming out on YouTube soon.

I think their YouTube, they might do clips or something. But when I was in Vegas, I got to meet Dana White. Really? Yeah, he's the best. I mean, he was awesome there. I know people have feelings about stuff. But just my experience. I did not get hit. Oh, yeah. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah.

I met his wife. It was very nice. Dane is sober now. Oh, yeah. I mean, you know. That'll do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It really hit rock bottom. And then, so, yeah, we did a watch party. The UFC fight was great. It was good.

John Jones. Yeah. It was Bo Nickel on that. Yeah. I won quick. Yeah. But Bo, no one talked about it. Like, it looked like he got a little groin hit in there. Like the start of the fight, he, he does a knee and I, you know, they try to use a knee to like the inner thigh and all that kind of stuff. And it looked like it was a groin shot and the ref didn't call it. The naturalist didn't talk about it. And then Bo got him down and then,

the submission, I mean, his submissions are just insane. He gets, it's a very, like there's submissions. You're like, I don't even know what's going on. They're just on top. And then the guy just taps and, uh,

So, but not to take you away. Bo was great, but it was one of those where you're like, I wish, you know, when you watch sports and you see something and then they just, they don't see it. Right, right. It drives you crazy. And then you feel crazy. Yeah, you're like, am I not? I mean, I'm looking it up on Twitter. I'm like trying to like look at it, like just being like, am I the only one that saw that? Because you think the announcers are going to announce it.

Sometimes you can tell, like in football, when they're clearly just watching it from not on TV, but from the upper deck, because we'll see something, like you said, that they don't. And then they'll show the replay, and then they notice it. We're like, well, we saw it the first time. And you're like, I should be announcing this game. Yeah, I do think so. I'm seeing stuff they don't. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes they still don't see it. That's even gets the most frustrating. I mean, when they still – you know, mine was always the Dez Bryant –

They said it was a catch. Remember the famous – was it Dez Bryant, the Green Bay Packers, when he – Cowboys playing the Packers. And it was the one they say he fumbled. That it wasn't a catch. That it wasn't a catch. Yeah. And I – people got crazy about it. But I would always watch that and I was like, I kind of got why they didn't call it a catch. I just always kind of got it.

Like not saying that it was or it wasn't or they should or they shouldn't, but I could – and sometimes when you hear people talking about it, you're like – when someone's arguing, you want to go like – but can you acknowledge why you see why they would have done that? Sure, sure. Like you can be like – we can argue if it's a catch or not, but like it's – I feel like when the argument just goes – it's 100% that's completely wrong. You're like, no, no, but you see, right? Like the ball came out and like all this kind of stuff. We can – you can argue –

that now, but at least that's like when arguing, you're like, just acknowledge. Like I understand. Acknowledge. I'm not crazy for disagreeing. Yeah. But that's the, uh, especially sports media. Yeah. Uh, having, you gotta have a take man and you gotta have that take hard. Yeah. You don't say, well, it could, could, could, or couldn't be. Yeah.

You've got to just be like, no, it's definitely not. And here's why. It's unreasonable. It's the worst of all time, I'd say. Yeah, yeah, exactly. The worst of all time. This is the worst call of all time in whatever sports. Organized sports, all of it. Yeah, all of it. Worst call in organized sports history. Kids, my son's –

Little League team to my daughter's softball team. Yeah, that Don Dinkager call in the World Series, that guy was safe. No, he was not. I know what you're doing here, man. I know exactly what you're doing here, but there's nobody that thinks that. I just said I do. It's not like what Nate's saying. Everybody, there was no replay back then, Bates.

There was replay, and I've seen it. I can see why you think that. I know why you're doing that, man. It was safe. I know exactly what you're doing. Well, it was radio. Go ahead. No, I'm just saying that most commentators in sports commentary school, they must be like, I don't care whether you think you're right or wrong. You just have a take, and you have an argument. When y'all would watch replays, would it be a drawing? No.

That's a reenactment. Man, it took forever. But some of these guys. You look at his exit, you're going to tell me that's out? It's a story. Yeah, and a lot of time it was the guys that can draw that faster, the cartoon drawers. So they would all have big hands. It was like, I think he's out, but he's got a giant head. They brought this guy in, this guy. He used to work at Coney Island for 25 years. He was the best of the best.

I mean, there it is right there. Look, he's clearly safe. We can't see the back. And there's nobody that paints that, man. I know why you're doing this, man. That's the one call in my career. And so they lost because of this. Yeah. Here's the thing. They...

Yeah, if they call him out, the game's over. Yeah. But it's like that thing with the Cubs. Yeah. They had plenty of chances that game to win it, and then the next game, they got killed. So we were whining, but that guy got death threats. We actually talked about this last time you were here. Oh, did we? It is like the most egregious call. I thought it was all peanut butter, but.

in the World Series. Well, the first episode. Why don't they show... Can you see his foot? Well, that's a terrible picture of him. Why would they... That's insane. Yeah. If you're watching this and not listening to it... Well, I'm saying if you watch it, you can see. But they show... It's like showing the stretch, but you do not see the base. You don't see the... Like...

The person that wrote this article, how does someone not go, hey, man, we just can't. You're not going to work here anymore. You think that the talk that they had with the guy was like, listen, man, do you see what's wrong here? Because the main issue of this, really, all you would have had to show is the feet. We don't even need the – yeah, but I don't know, man. I just think artistically –

It's his, he goes, I don't know how, I don't know what cropping means. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, I don't know what cropping means. You go, but you got to talk to someone younger, dude, like that can help you crop this in. Yeah, but do you see how I got his facial expression? He goes, but you could see it because then you really want to go, where's the base? Yeah. Either that or the guy kind of realized, you're like, you understand that you can't see the base. He's like,

Yeah. Yeah. Now that he goes, but my words describe the base. Man, I blew it. Yeah. It's open for interpretation. Yeah. Yeah. This article is written so well, you don't even need a picture. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When, uh, is there not a better picture? I'll find it. Yeah. Well, we showed video last time. Here's one from a different angle. Yeah. Uh,

That'd be great if there was nine pictures without the base all by the same guy. Looks safe to me, dude. Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah. No, you're just saying. I know, I know. It's clearly out. It's a terrible call. Foot's on the bag, ball's in the glove. He's about a foot above the base. But what I... Like, I do think those guys all have to say... They have to take a position and take it hard. I think they do that in politics, too, which is there's no room for the middle. But I think...

Like my brother, when my brother used to ref little league soccer games when he was in college and he said he was like one ref for the whole field and the ball would go and he'd have no idea whether it was out or not out. But he was like, that ball is out right there. Like you have to, if you're going to make a call, make it with authority. And just commit to it. Yeah, yeah, commit. Yeah.

I was thinking about that with refs last night. Like, I was – or I saw, like, a clip of that. You see the guy, and, like, I want to say it was maybe Iowa or something, basketball, and there's a – the coach is just staring at the ref because he didn't like the call. We went back to, like, the ref thing. Have we talked about the refs? Like, it's like I feel bad for these refs. Oh, yeah. Like, you want to go – I know, but you're like, dude, they're not getting paid. No. Like, what are you – They're getting paid a fair amount. Yeah.

Not enough to be like, here's your thing. No one likes you. So here's the field that you pick. You pick a job that everybody hates you and they hate you. Not like, it's like, oh, no, that guy annoys me. They want your family dead.

And then coaches are allowed to just ridicule you, and they might be wrong. And if they get proven that the ref was right and they were wrong, the coaches do not have to come say, "I'm sorry," or anything.

and say, like, you did a great job. Everybody just trashes these guys. It's terrible. Yeah, it's really, like, the whole idea around it and the idea they get treated like second-class citizens. Like, it's very gross. And I understand being – you can get upset about a call, but you're like, it's a person, dude. It's a human. So, like, don't be –

the most like that guy they said that that ref got death threats he did yeah it was terrible it's embarrassing the guy who sinned i don't feel good about it you know i was a kid but i mean back then it's like you know it's like the way he looked at it whatever it's like you know it's like i mean the guy probably felt terrible i'd imagine and then you know and i get you know now it's like refs are like uh trying to make it all about them sometimes or whatever and

Some people get annoyed at that. I don't know. I just – refs should be – like, they should be treated better. But there's a tradeoff, right? They get to work in a fast-paced, exciting industry. Yeah.

Their hours are good. Their uniforms provide a four. I don't think they get paid that much money. Are you recruiting for something right now? I'm just trying to take the opposite position here. Yeah. I mean, you got to look. There's probably 20 of them that make a real living. No, no. Not umpires, man. Baseball umpires make about $400,000.

I was thinking about college level. MLB, they make a ton of money. Yeah, if you get to that level, but there's not that many, but then anything below that is you're volunteering.

Oh, yeah, man. Oh, yeah. Big difference between like a little league umpire. But I still think that baseball, I mean, still even 400, your life is just on the road and whatever. It's just like show some appreciation. That's all I'm saying. Like, let's acknowledge, like, let's go through it and be like, how many calls have refs got wrong versus right? You know, if someone could do that to go like, look, guys, they're 95% right. Yeah. And I get that they've missed these calls, but like, it's –

That 5% is part of the game. And that's, so that's, you know, yes, be mad, do all this stuff, but like, it's got to leave it. You're like a coach. You can't go humiliate another person. That's so gross. You just can't, don't humiliate another person. Like that's, who are you to humiliate another guy? And they're all, I mean, they're all...

to get whatever they want. The coaches, they'll say, yeah, yeah. To get a call later. Yeah, I mean, when a player touches the ball and the ref doesn't see it, they don't go, I actually touched it. Yeah, yeah. They make it up and they just act like nothing happened. Because look, they might not realize that they touched it or they don't know what happened. So why would you come over and say something?

Because I always thought that, would you ever come tell the truth and be like, no, I touched that. But then sometimes you could be like, you think you touched it or maybe something, but maybe you didn't. Or it's in the moment, you didn't realize it. So like, yeah, it's like, don't say anything. But they really treat them like the enemy. They treat them, you know, like they're the ones that invented this sport.

And they're, you know, and you're like, you're the problem. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, no, no, no. They're just out there. Well, Dusty would say they're getting told what to do.

Dusty thinks it's all rigged, so they're great actors. No, yeah, I don't think it's all rigged. I did it one time. I refed a wrestling match one time. It was when I was living in Texas. I was out of college, and my friend was reffing, and he called me late on a Friday. He was like, hey, dude, there's a tournament tomorrow, and one of our refs can't make it. And I was like, man, I don't want to –

And I was like, all right. It was an all-day tournament. And I'd wrestled in college, so I kind of knew the rules. They probably had changed it or whatever. So I showed up and I went...

Right away, I went and bought a referee's jersey, the black and white, but I bought a football. I bought the wrong jersey. I had a long-sleeve referee's jersey. Who cares, right? So I showed up, and right away, they're all making fun of me. What are you doing, man? You look like an idiot. I'm like, man, I don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. And then I just start reffing, and those coaches, and I knew some of these guys because I was coaching. They were all riding me, and I was like, I'm going to fight them.

I never refed one match. It was awful, man. They were yelling at me and they were like, that's not the rule. And I'm like, yeah, I guess it's not. I didn't know. I didn't know the rules. Yeah, but that's the problem is that you want to go, you're like, I'm volunteered. Yeah. You know what you could have done? Not had this match today. Yeah. And it's like, so I understand, like there just has to be,

Some rational thought is, you know, and you got to, you just want that. You want to be like, is everybody coming to this rationally? I don't want to do this. I'm doing this as a complete, I'm doing it as a favor and,

So much so that I... And this is how much I don't want to do it. I had to go buy a jersey. Yeah. So I have to spend... So I had to wake up, go spend money that I didn't think it was because I'm just trying to... All right, I don't want the match not to happen. It was hot too, man. I could see why it was the wrong jersey. Yeah. I was sweating the whole time. Yeah. It was bad. I'd like to be a professional wrestling referee. Those guys...

No one pays attention to you. You get distracted while their guys are doing something. Yeah, but they get taken advantage of a lot. I know. That's why I think I'd be perfect for it. Yeah, you would. You've got experience. Yeah, yeah. But they're going to come at you hard. I could try. That guy gets no respect ever. That's like, I noticed- Sign me up, coach. I did-

a thing on BET early in my career. And I, uh, a comedy thing. And I went on tour with these guys for a little while. And, uh, man, I'll tell you who gets zero respect in the comedy industry is the DJ, uh,

a black comedy show. Those guys, it's part of their, they all get up there and the DJ and then, and they'll be like, give it up a DJ. I mean, I told him not to play that track. I told him, I told him and the guys, and then they just, and then I think those guys at some point are going to go on strike and he's like, no, he did tell me to play that. He told me to play that just so he could go up and say, he didn't say to play that. Yeah.

Those guys. They got to tell him to cut it. Yeah, yeah. And then they might tell him to bring it back. You got to be on. Yeah, those guys got to be on. And they get, man, they take a lot of abuse on those guys too. Yeah. That's a rough, that's like being a professional wrestling referee. Yeah. Give it up for DJ. This dude, man, I tell you. Cut it, DJ. Cut it. How many shows have you done where you've had to cut it? Me personally? Have you ever tell them?

I've done this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I've done black shows and I always let it linger out because it's always some rap song that's – and then I come out. Yeah. Yeah, that's smart. I usually come out to Harnout Here for a pimp and then I'll come out and they all laugh and I always like surprise, whatever, and then eventually I'll do that. But I've worked with guys who their whole act is you got to – like you said, you got to be on because they're going to tell you somewhere in the show, hit it, DJ. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that's...

the right thing to do. When I was on that BET show, those guys would, they'd play music coming up to the stage and all those guys, I was like the only white guy that season on this thing and everybody would just dance. You know, they'd be dancing and I'm terrified of dancing. Like, I can't, so I mean, I come out of there, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut,

Yeah. That would be the door opens. I picture the door open at Zany's and you're just like, no, no, no, no, no. Already like, well, he's not even on the stage. No, no, no. Please, please don't let anybody see this. I danced once at a black church. What? They brought me up and made me dance before my set.

I killed it, to be honest with you. Yeah, I was doing a show there. And before my part, they called it a step-off or something where they brought people up and they danced. And they brought me up. Is there a video of this? Somewhere, I think. But I went for it and it killed because it was so bad. But then I had to go do a set right after. Did you commit to doing it? I committed. That's the thing you got to do. I was making a calculation in my brain. What would be the funniest thing to do here would be over-commit. Try. Where it's really bad. Yeah. And it went pretty well.

But yeah, there's pictures of video out there somewhere. I never want to see it. Well, maybe the least embarrassing thing is to overcommit too. Probably. Like it's like, yeah, because if you don't do it, it's like, well, now it's just embarrassing for everybody. And I have to do a set right after this too. So I want to play along. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's fine. That would be my nightmare. You know what you need? I would almost, I'd walk in and just try to be the most, like if I felt anything like that was happening, be like, no. Yeah.

Yeah. You're not going to go, you know. Did y'all have anything you want to... I was in Bristol, Tennessee this weekend at Blue Ridge Comedy Club. Had great shows, great crowds. On my way home, I stopped at a gas station and a woman said, I know you, you're a comedian. And I said, yeah, I am. And...

She said, I saw you do a show once. She said, are you still doing it? And I said, yeah, I'm actually home away home now. And I said, what show did you see me do? And she said, it was with Henry Cho back in January. It was a month and a half ago. It was January 15th. This was March 5th. Asked me if I was still doing it.

That is so funny, dude. I don't know, I thought 10 years ago when she saw you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

wow you thought that guy's on his way out yeah man yeah I think it was at your last show yeah I got to see Brian Bates when he finally hung it up yeah oh man that was so funny yeah so I was good yeah a lot of people liked it it was me the stroke's happening it's happening yeah it's the

It's the night the lights went out in Georgia. We could have just not said anything, and a couple of y'all here would have thought something went down. Yeah. I don't know.

So that's where I was. Do lights go out a lot? Do you see a lot of lights go out? Do you guys think lights go out a lot? Yeah. I guess, maybe. No. I was thinking about replay, though. I kind of remember when it first started in sports. Were you against it? Were you a purist? I mean, the first time I thought they just scored again. Yes! Their moves are much slower this time. On a roll. But...

Now, I mean, now there's a million angles in a Division III lacrosse game. But back then it would be the World Series and there's maybe three angles total. Yeah, now you can still watch them. I remember watching the old Vandy games where you're like – I'd be watching them on DirecTV, like having the channel and it's just a camera at the top. Jefferson Pilot, one of those. Oh, yeah. Jefferson Pilot was good though. Yeah, JP Sports.

Jefferson Pilot was actually, that was like on CBS, right? All right, maybe not Jefferson Pilot, something about, I'm talking about the one that was always like on Channel 30, like locally, where the worst SEC game. Yeah, yeah, like announcer is like the guy there. Yeah. Like the guy who just lives there. Jefferson Pilot, I think was like, that was like Saturday morning. Yeah.

Yeah, I always thought that was like the worst SEC game. Yeah, we had to wait for JP Sports to get over with for the Notre Dame game to come on. I think it was on NBC. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the time. And it was always like Vanderbilt versus Mississippi State. Yeah. Jeez, dude. All right. Maybe I'm going to sit through this nonsense. Maybe I'll get them mixed up. And I'm just on the edge of my seat. Like, come on. And they're like trying to go to Notre Dame. You're like, give me a break. Yeah.

That's very funny. Yeah, so that's where I was. I was in Wisconsin. I did my first theater where I got my name on the marquee. Look at that. Wisconsin is in West Bend, Wisconsin at the Bend Theater. Everyone there was great. Their social media team has been super nice posting stuff, but this really made me laugh. They did a little recap of the show. Last night, we were absolutely blessed with a night of great laughs by the tremendous Aaron Weber and his CPAP.

So I have a joke where I mention that I have a CPAP machine. But if you read this, I mean, it sounds like I bring it out on stage like one of Jeff Dunham's puppets. Like I'm sitting on the stool. Like we do the act together. That really made me laugh. I was like, wow, I think I mentioned it once. You can't say that. Like in the first five minutes maybe. And then I did a lot more after that. But the show was great. Thank you for everybody that came out. A lot of Nate Land people there. It was just very cool. Like when you walk out, you just pop.

In darkness? Did the light phase on? You're the CPAP commercial? You guys both have them, right? Yeah, yeah. Man, this is embarrassing, but I just went to have a sleep study. It's not embarrassing. Both of us have done it. No, that's not embarrassing. I haven't done it, so I think it's embarrassing. We haven't even got to. So...

You go in and they hook like a bunch of wires up to like a hundred wires up to you. And they put a thing in your nostril and they put a thing in your, in your mouth, a tube in your mouth. And man, I pee a lot. I just do. And not just because I'm old. It's like I always did when I was a kid. I just had to always pee. My dad was like, are you kidding me? You know? So immediately I'm like, well, what if I got to go to the bathroom? She's like, well, just,

You're just laying in there and there's a camera and you say, I got to go to the bathroom. They're listening to you. Yeah. So I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, oh no, this is going to be, it's going to be 10 times because it's going to get, normally it's four, but it's going to get in my head. And then here's the thing, like, I guess as a kid, you know, I just go even if I don't have to, because I'm like, well, maybe I have to. And I'm just like, maybe I will have to, or like just, just in case that thing, just in case. So I'm like, so whenever I wake up, I just go just in case. So yeah.

I'm freaking out. I'm like, oh no, this is going to be bad. I go, what if, what happens? She goes, well, we come in and we unplug you. And so I'm in there and I'm trying, I'm doing my crossword puzzle, trying to fall asleep. And the lady comes over. She's like, over the announcement, she's like, are you biting the tube? I'm like,

Yeah. Yeah. I'm biting the tube. She's like, well, stop it. You don't want to bite the tube. Like, okay. So she comes in like an hour later. She's like, I still can't sleep. And she's like, hey, you're biting the tube. You got to stop biting the tube. Like, okay. I go, hey, as long as you're in here, let's just, let's do the bathroom thing, you know? And I mean, it's not where she just unhooks the thing and go to the bathroom. It's like five minutes later.

For me to go to the bathroom, get unhooked, and I go to the bathroom, come back, it's another five minutes to put me back together. And I'm like, oh, no, this is going to happen 10 times. Times. Yeah. That's like, I'm not going to sleep. And I had a show the next day. Yeah. And I was like, this is bad news. And I told her right there, I go, hey.

this may not go down. And she's like, what? I'm like, I don't know, man. I'm going to try. I'm going to try my best. I try for another hour and I just say out loud, I'm like, I'm, I'm going home. I go, I'm, I'm, she's like, what? I'm like, yeah, man, I'm leaving. Like, I can't do it. I can't do it. And I, I left, I just left. And I felt like such a coward.

I don't know. I might leave too. I don't know if I could do it. I'm doing it. I'm going, I'm going to, I'm trying to go. I think they're, they, they didn't charge me. How long ago was this? Two weeks. Oh, because, because my father-in-law just did a sleep study and they let it do it at home. Yeah. I did. No, I did mine at home. Okay. But that didn't. She came to your house. No, no, no, I did. I did the at home thing. Yeah. And that didn't, it was inconclusive. So they're like, you got to do the big one. So I,

I emailed him back. I was like, man, I'm sorry. I just fleeked out that night. I had a show. I want to, I want to, I can't let this beat me, man. I want to try again. So I may go again. It was embarrassing, man. And I know why my brother, Matt does whatever he wants to do. He just does. He's one of these guys. He does whatever he wants to do. And he, one time he's diabetic and he was going in for a big surgery, like some hernia surgery. And he's like, Hey, you guys, my blood sugar doesn't feel right. You're going to check it. And they're like, no, no, we're,

you're fine. Trust me. He's like, man, I don't want to go under with my blood sugar. And they're like, no, you're fine. Trust me. He goes, I'm leaving. And he like, he just left in the middle of his surgery. He just pulled his, he's like, I'm leaving. They're like, you can't leave. This is a big deal. I was like, no, I'm leaving. So I had that in the back of my head. I'm like, well, Matt left surgery. I could leave this sleep study. But I left that. I left it. And I feel like such a, I mean, there's people that are in. Yeah. I don't know how you could fall asleep though.

And that was in my head. Can you not take something, I guess? I think maybe I will. Maybe take a melatonin or something. But then that probably affects your sleep. They're not getting a true read on your sleep. Might affect the results, yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to try again. And this time I'll just stay awake for the whole time if I have to. And I'll get up and pee 10 times. I feel like now I let it beat me. The person is never probably happy you're getting up to go pee. Yeah.

Cause they got to stay up. Exactly, man. They're, they're, they're probably going to be like, Oh, that's fine. But on the seventh one, I'm like, you're not, it's not going to be fine with you. It's,

I'm a maniac. Just don't have anything to drink. The thing is, I'm a maniac. No, no. I get in my head. I'm like, well, do you got to pee? Maybe you don't. As long as you're up, you might as well. Greg, Aaron and I can go ahead and tell you, you have sleep apnea. We can tell by looking at you. You know, man, the doctor said something. The doctor, I think the whole thing might be a shakedown. The doctor is like, open your mouth. I'm like, eh. He's like, yeah, you got it. I was like, come on, man. He said, yeah. I'll tell you what, 90% of the people in the world need a CPAP. I'm like,

So God just made it so 90% of the world, the people had to have a machine to like, yeah. But that's- 90% is a little high. I think so, man. He ruined it. If he would have said 30- How do you know you have it like at home or when you think you have it?

snoring and gasping for air and waking up. Yeah, you wake up and you feel like you haven't slept at all because you haven't. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good indication. I know plenty of people that you just look at them and you're like, if you don't, you need one for sure. Because there's no way you're sleeping better than I was. Is it my face or is it?

No, I don't. You don't strike me as one of those guys. I think Brian was joking. What part of my face? You got a CPAP face. Just the whole, your whole face. Yeah. Like the eyes? Yeah. He goes, don't even think you should open mouth. He goes, I'm looking at you from across the street. I would have told you. He told me that. I was standing in my office window and I watch and I go, I bet that guy's got CPAP. And then you showed up in the office. And then I was like,

Come on. Yeah, he saw me at Starbucks right before, and I was like, this guy ought to come in. You walked in. I knew it. No, he asked me, he's like, is your dad a snorer? I'm like, yeah. He goes, yeah, you're definitely. Yeah, that's what he did with me, too. He goes, we got to go through the stuff, but you got this, man. And I'm not sure I do, because I think if I sleep on my side, I don't. But I roll over to my back sometimes, and that's when I notice. You ever wake up with a weird taste in your mouth?

Yeah, but it's because I was eating dark chocolate almonds before I went to bed. Well, you got it. And that's the first step is you start blaming stuff like that. I had chocolate last week. I licked a penny a couple weeks ago. That's not going to stay with you the whole time. When they're that sure about it, I get a little suspicious. I went to this dentist one time. I was living in L.A. a long time ago, and he was like, oh, yeah, he –

You grind your teeth. You definitely, you're a grinder. You're going to have to get these mouthpieces. And he goes, don't feel bad. It's a lot of, a lot of people have it. He pulled out like a people magazine. I said, look at Mel Gibson. He goes, grinder. I can tell he's the sexiest man alive. It was when he was like, when he was, yeah. Yeah. Before he, you know, flipped out, he's like,

This guy's, I can look at these guys right away. I can spot a grinder anyway. Yeah. Because you're a grinder, man. You grind. Yeah. I have a joke about it. About grinding? Well, that, like that, it hasn't ever really completely worked. I've done it. So I'm not going to say it. I might still try it. But the idea of that, like saying like when a guy does it, it was like the first thing where you're like, I don't care.

Like when they told the one dentist, he goes, you grind your teeth. And I'm like, I'm fine with it. Yeah. Like, I don't care. Like, cause it's. I'm not going to change how I live at this point.

Yeah, you got to wear the thing. And then you're like, how do you even know? And you're like, I don't know if I don't feel like I wake up with my mouth sore or something. It's like, no, you're doing it. And the only time you can do it is when they're like, when do I do it? Only when you don't know you do it. You're like, well, now I don't believe any of this. Yeah. And also, if I am, you make more money, right? If I'm a grinder, this tends to affect your business positively. Yeah, it's a whole thing.

All right, let's read some of these comments. I think before we get to that, all you need is a little better help. You do need better help. Better help, you should sit and grind your teeth or that. Talk it out. Yeah. Yeah, talk it out. I'm always learning new things about myself and trying to get better in my relationships. I'm not trying to get in.

I'm not trying to make people deal with me better. Yeah. That's how you should, but that's why you need better help. You shouldn't think that. Your idea shouldn't be, I'm going to make people, you know, it's not me, it's them. Yeah. You can have that mindset. That's not always good. It's easier to fix yourself than the world. You know who said that? Me. Michael Scott. All right. Let's read some of these comments. Let's give these people some better help. Yeah.

Brent Myers, having just watched Ken Burns' series on the history of country music, I was excited when I saw the subject of this week's pod. Listening to the show, however, reminded me how knowing something about the weekly topic makes for a slightly more frustrating experience. Yeah, I could see that.

I could see that. Good, too. Now, I've seen that documentary. Yeah. I'd love to know what it was exactly we had wrong. Yeah, Bran offers no specifics there. I think it's the whole episode. Just in general? Yeah, all of it. But I understand what he's saying. I'd imagine that could be... Like, if you just watch something, then we talk about it. Right. And then you're like, just... Because it's probably not... You're not mad at our opinions. You get what this is. Yeah. We're idiots. But it's...

But just like little stuff, you're like, well, but that guy did that because of the, you know, we didn't know that. You're like, yeah, that's true. But it's like, you know, Ken Burns is like a nice healthy meal and we're at McDonald's. You know, you don't tell everybody about us, but you're all coming. Yeah.

Zach James, I really wish you guys have touched on how many famous country singers are all related to each other. It's an unbelievable number. Also, I'm confused how Bates had teenage friends in the 90s. That timeline seems skewed. That's fair because we talked about my friends who got into altercation with Tracy Lawrence in 1994 when they were teenagers. They are younger than I am. I only knew, I guess I knew two out of three guys, but they were younger than I was. You still friends with them?

I mean, wait, how much older were you? They were probably about your age. Oh, 43. Back then. I was a little older than them.

No, there's probably like seven years difference between us or something. Big brother program? So you're in college, but you were hanging out with like high school kids? I think that's what Zach was getting at. Yeah, I think that's what Zach was getting at. I think that is what Zach was getting at. I mean, it was during the summer. We're back home. Oh, all right, man. Yeah, it's just they live in my hometown. Small town. Yeah, but we're – are you – you're seven years older than me? Yeah. Yeah.

So you were seven years older than these kids? I mean... So that means, wait, were you in college? Yes. So you would have been 8, 20, 19, 18, 19? Yeah. And they were 12? All right. I believe that Wikipedia page said it happened in 1994. 1994, which you would have been 23. Okay. So I was 20. So they were... 17? 17?

Yeah, 17, 18, high school kids. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they're just smart. I'm not saying we hang out every night, but I knew these kids. Guys that are around. It's a small town. You know the families. Yes. Right, right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

The thing about high school, they stayed the same age. And then the other thing, what was he said about singers related? I mean, I Googled it. I didn't see the brothers Osborne or their brothers. Yeah. Those Alabama guys are all related, aren't they? Yeah. But I mean, I guess it's just kind of the Statler brothers are related. I wonder if they're all related, like, you know, the Allman brothers, right?

Like, you know, like there's, I wonder if they're. The Doobie Brothers? The Doobie Brothers. Well, they're not. Well, maybe the people are related to, like, I'd imagine. He's talking about even other bands. Yeah. I mentioned a couple weeks ago when you weren't here that Loretta Lynn and Crystal Gale are sisters. Yeah. Dusty did not know that. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. Was that in the Ken Burns documentary? Yeah. I think I just knew that. Might have been.

Well, I wonder if it is crazy. I wonder if they're all related, but it's like just different bands. It's like, well, that guy's cousins of that guy in that band. And you're like, oh, wow, that's crazy. And you're like, it's all just, I'd imagine. Yeah, I could see it being a lot. Yeah. McDaniel, oh, McDaniel A. Bowes, right? I guess. McDaniel A. Bowes.

I love the Bates. MC Daniela Bowes. MC Daniela Bowes. All right, I like that. I love the Bates idea of a recent cover of the Dottie West song is from 24 years ago. That is true. That was back when you were hanging out in high school. 1999. Yeah, bare, yeah. Were you still hanging out with these high school kids? So that would have been 30. It might have been, what year did that song come out? I had this song, so it was before my time. It was Jodie Messina. Yeah.

Somebody's going to – it was that song that Dusty was singing last week. Yeah. Okay. I think it was 99. So it might have been more than 24 years. It might have been 34 years. Anyway, let's not worry about it. Captain Jim Shorts. Aaron's saying country fans are the only fans who are defensive about their genre. Couldn't be more wrong. The man's not heard a couple of metalheads get into an argument.

Yeah. I think you're both talking about the same. Yeah. But I'd imagine both are. But yeah, I could – metalheads, I'd imagine. Yeah. Like Slipknot fans or something like – is that metal? It's like they get super – Sure, sure. Because people are more angry at their music. That's true. It is a much angrier genre. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But country, I could – The Des Moines, Iowa, man. Those guys live across the street from my buddy. All right.

Oh, really? Slipknot does. Slipknot? Yeah. They all live together? No, I guess it's fine. They probably got families. Probably one of them. Yeah. Probably normal. They got an apartment together. Is it a normal neighborhood? I thought it was just a guy, man. I thought Slipknot was a dude. But yeah, he's got a nice house. We walked by his house. Yeah. We walked by Slipknot's house. Hello, Mr. Knott. Mr. Knott. Real nice house. Slip. Hey, Slip. It's a five-person band, I think. Well, some of these, there's like 30 people in it.

And they wear masks. Yeah. So no one even knows who they are. Yeah, who knows if it is them? Yeah, he lives across the street from me, Greg. See, that's intense. I'm telling you, man. My buddy Troy wouldn't lie, man. No. But yeah, how does he...

How does he know? I think it was that guy. The guy in the middle? Yeah. It was the guy in the middle. It was the pinhead. That makes sense. Man, you see that guy out mowing the lawn. It's a weird... It's pretty fun to wear a mask, you know, especially if you get like super... When you get famous and you have money and you can get mask made...

Then your band becomes like – because then you're like, hey, these masks are annoying. You're like, no, no, no. We can give you a real deal. You could do a makeup. It would be ventilated. Yeah. But I think those masks, the expensive masks, are probably the more restrictive. I think make them to your face. But I mean, that's got to be with – I wonder if it's constantly like you get – there's no – you get no like, hey, can I get a table at this crowded restaurant? You're like –

No. You're like, I am Slipknot. You put the mask back on. You gotta go. You go, that's me. You gotta Google yourself. You go, that's, I'm the one in the middle. You go, I mean, dude, I guess everybody's Slipknot. Hey, everybody's Slipknot's here. I just watched a documentary on The Undertaker, your dentist. And he was talking about how all the other wrestlers, they can kind of be out of character when they're out in public. But he was such a

in his prime, just that accepted, you know, Prince of Darkness or whatever. He had to wear the black. He had to kind of, he couldn't be smiling. He couldn't be doing like, you know, if he had pictures made with kids at the airport, he couldn't be smiling in it. Right, right. He had to be that character kind of all the time, even though he's in Southwest in the middle seat. He has to be the undertaker. Yeah.

Man, you think The Undertaker flew Southwest? Well, I'm just saying. It's an expression. Yeah. Okay. It's an expression. You know that old expression, Southwest military. Stitching time, saves nine. You said it like that. Like y'all are husband and wife. He's trying to be nice. It's an expression, Greg. Tell as old as time. Michael Finley.

Hey, Bear. I know Michael Finley. I don't think this is- What's that guy? Yeah. Mike Finney. It's my- Finney, man. Yeah. I used to have a billboard somewhere. That guy, I think he did the Tonight Show as a comedian and as a magician. As a magician, yeah. He was funny, man. Oh, yeah. He's great. He's great. Hey, Bear. I grew up in Oklahoma. My best friend's family owned a health food restaurant that was- I'm going to tell you it's not-

The guy we're talking about. I grew up in Oklahoma. My best friend's family owned a health food restaurant that was not far from where Garth and Tricia lived. When I was like 10, 11 years old, I would serve Garth and Tricia their drinks if I was at the restaurant.

Thanks for the great podcast. Truly gets so much enjoyment out of my day listening. I put emphasis on wrong words. That's a big thing I have with reading. I've heard it, man. Yeah. You guys talked about it, though. Wait, like how? I didn't pick up on that. Truly get so much, like the true...

Get so much. I'd have to like pause more and I go truly get so much. And you're like, now that sentence is like, what? Even the sentence is like, I'm not this. The sentence is like, I'm not this guy you're making me. That's awesome. Was there something else? Nope. Just fill in the time. Yep.

Joel Palmer. We visited the Opry a few years ago. Took the standard tour. We get on stage and each stood in the circle and they seemed fine with it. I just learned in this podcast that it probably shouldn't be done. Oh, well. Hey, bear. Well, I more believe that I got the details of that wrong. I've been telling people you're only allowed to step in the circle if you're performing there, but maybe they're a little more lax about it than... They let everybody. Yeah. If you pay to take a tour, you can do pretty much whatever you want. So you can't...

You thought you couldn't walk across it? Well, they cut out that circle from the original Opry stage at the Ryman, and they moved it to the new, where the Opry is now. And I was told at some point, I can't even remember by whom, but somebody said, you're only allowed to step in that circle if you're performing there. Hmm.

They told you not to stand in there. You need to say whom. That feels good to use it when you know it's correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You leaned into it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of showing. I'll say it a little bit louder. Did you have any thought or just whom rolled out of your – Well, typically if it follows a preposition, then you know it's whom. Yes, Nate, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But yeah. So like, but I mean, do you think about that when you're saying the sentence? I thought of it now saying it on this podcast. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But in real life, you would have just. If I'm talking to my parents or whatever. No, it just kind of comes out. You would just know. Yeah. Well, y'all talk very, you know, proper. So it's like you would have, you would have just known to say whom. I think so. Muscle memory at this point. Yeah. Notre Dame education. That'll do it, man. That's like what it. Yeah, that is like, that's probably what education is.

You think that or you think we're just dumber than the average people? Would you have said it? No, I don't think so. What was the sentence? I was told, but I can't remember by whom. Oh, I would have said who. I would have told, but I don't remember by who told me. Who told me. Yeah. I can't remember who told me. Yeah. I can't remember. Yeah. Yeah. That's a real like a fancy plate. You're a fancy plate and a bunch of paper plates. That's it.

It's good. We're both doing the same thing, though. Just like the plates, we're both doing the same thing. Mine's a little more work to maintain. But everybody, yours is more work to maintain. And everybody's like, where did you get that fancy plate from? And then you go, well, you got to be invited into this. You bring your own plate. I want to be someone that brings my own plate, too.

Other people's parties. Have you ever seen somebody do that? That's a crazy move to bring your own plate. I like it, man. So paper plates is like, I can get very weird about the utensils or the, there's a lot of stuff I don't like. You've got some tactile things you don't like. Yeah. What don't you like? Napkins. I can use them to not be an animal somewhere, but I can't crumple them. I'll never crumple a napkin. Oh.

But you like a cloth napkin, though? Yeah, I like it to be a little bit thicker. But even if I have a napkin, I will always have it very folded properly. And then I use it properly. I never crumble it. You never do a bib? Even on barbecue or something? No, no. Barbecue, I would try to wash my hands before I would get. Wet wipe.

I don't even know if I like wet. Even if I ate barbecue, I would almost just be, A, you go and they have the rolls. Paper towels? Paper towel rolls. So I would have to grab a few of them. It can't be just one. I need to grab a thick where it feels thick. And so I'd grab a few that are thick, and I have it completely flat, or it's sitting on me. And then I would do whatever I want to go do.

It's that's why barbecue is like tough for me. Cause it's like, I, I'd rather do it's a mess. And I like when it gets all over me and I don't have an easy, it's tough. If I had like a towel, I mean, I have a towel. I bring a towel with me now, like a lot of beach towel. No, like a hand towel.

Oh. To a restaurant? You know, the black... No, no, no. Not to a restaurant. I mean, yeah. I'm close. I've never done it, but I'm close. Close to bringing a towel to a restaurant? Better help. Yeah. Better, yeah. You get one over your shoulder like one of those fat guys on stage. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude.

I'm starting to do that, man. Are you bringing a towel on stage? I did it once. I got sucked in, man. I'm a sweat towel guy. You're not that guy, man. Oh, but it's fun. It's a fun energy to have. It is. Those guys, I know a couple of those guys and they are funny, but, uh,

you don't want to be doing that yet, man. I'm not. You're looking good these days. Oh, thanks, man. But I have one on the stool just in case. I have one on the stool. If the set's not going well, I will need it. Yeah. I'll be sweating. I've never used it. I've had one on the stool. I've never used it. Uh,

I've never used it, but it's always, but it's just on the stool. I like said, the mic lane on it. I get, it's just there. I guess it's like water. Like I don't always drink water. No, I'm that way with water. I have the water and I barely ever do it, but, but it's like, it's there. And the towels there just in like, I don't know. What's the towel for them? Nothing. I never, I don't sweat on stage. I'll wave it around. Yeah.

yeah I mean it could be a device it just kind of sits I mean the thing sits on the stool it's like nothing right it's like almost like decoration but I would use it like I've had to use it every once in a while like if you you just feel like you got some on your face or you're like you know sometimes it's like if you do have water and it gets in your beard like you just kind of wipe it off but uh uh

I don't ever use it. It's just there. There's no really reason for it. It's almost like it's just an old thing that's always been kind of through. But now, because I have the mic laying on the... Because I don't have a mic stand out there. And so I have the mic laying on the stool, so it actually lays on the towel. Okay. So then it's kind of there, so it's not just rolling around.

But I don't use it for that. When I'm not using it, I hang it on the mic stand, the towel. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I kind of make myself at home. Yeah, it's like a prop. I'll have to go. But if we eat something, though, I'll have to be like, I'll go wash my hands first. In between. I mean, I'll try to eat with a fork, but then in between. I don't think I like to be messy. Yeah, barbecue's tough. I've gone in the middle of a session before.

You know, and be like, I'm going to wash off my hands and come back. Sash it. I don't know. I guess, yeah. And I'll tell you another thing, man. Those barbecue towels that you're talking about, the roll of towels, haven't been in that business. They're not the best paper towels you can get. Procter & Gamble had Bounty.

Well, bounties. I didn't sell it, but my partners, my teammates sold it, and it's a big difference, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they're doing – yeah. I mean, bounties, bounty. I don't think bounty is even looking at those favorite towels like competition. Or could they be competition? I mean, if you were wanting to set yourself apart as a barbecue restaurant –

Here's one way to do it. You put bounty paper towels up there and right away people are going to start coming more. It's. Yeah. That's expensive though. It's real expensive. Yeah. It's real expensive. But it would be not. We're not in the, we're not in the, we're in the consumer. We're not in the restaurant business. I think. Yeah. You go, we wouldn't even. So you would be like, I shouldn't even be talking to you about this. Like we're above this. I'm doing this as a favor. Yeah. I mean, you, you may not even get a rep to call on you. You might've just go to, uh,

Sam's or Costco and just buy a giant bunch of bounty. Right. But I'm telling you, you'd make your mark. I've been in some restaurants or even hotels where it's like, man, this, this is Charmin. This is, they went above and beyond. And you're like, this is a, this is a, this is a nice experience. I feel better with a bounty. I would, I would definitely feel a lot. I think you would, man. I think I would too. With a nice print, like a holiday print on it. But I usually do brisket. Like I'll do brisket or pool pour. I'm not a big rib fan, but if, uh,

I guess you could pull it off. I loved Applebee's had the boneless ribs. Oh, yeah. Man, those were good. That was good. That's what Larry used to always get. I've been getting into ribs a little bit. But yeah, briskets, man, that's something. Michael Saylor. Say-o-yor. Michael Saylor. Say-o-yor.

Ending a country music episode with a picture of Michael Jackson's childhood. Michael sail your boat ashore. Huh? Never mind. Michael sail your boat ashore. Yeah.

I should have pulled up on that. Get that light out. Flash that light again. It's row your boat, isn't it? If it was row your boat. If it was row your, you guys have been cheering. That's true. Yeah, you'd have been asking me to go deeper into that. But I just got the song wrong as well. It's sailing. You don't even sail on a shore, you row it. Yeah. Hallelujah. You come back and it's like, all right, Greg had a go. Yeah.

He had to run somewhere. Michael Sealyer. Ending a country music episode with a picture of Michael Jackson's childhood home is so on brand for this podcast. Maybe that's why Nate can recall nuggets of information, but does not remember the episode from which it came. Love the podcast. Excited for the Bridgestone show. Yeah. Why did we show these? We're talking about people's homes that you'd go to. Yeah. Yeah. Chase Schubert.

In the original Friday Night Lights, Tim McGraw's character walks around drunk, physically abusing his son, Don Billingsley.

For continuing to fumble the football. Just stop it. It's like a comma. Yeah. That's the, for continuing to fumble the football. The real Don Bingsley came to speak to my football's team, FCA Group, and share his testimony. Turns out he fumbled the ball once in his high school career, but recovered it himself, and his dad rarely ever drank, was never drunk, and never laid a hand on him. Leave it to Hollywood to recklessly destroy the reputation of two stand-up guys for the sake of a better plot.

Yeah, that's a tough... Because you gotta... Because here's the argument with it. I agree. But the argument, is this as big of a show if they don't have a relationship like that? Like they have to do it for the... Is that like...

I mean, I don't even know if I've seen Friday Nights. Maybe I've seen it. Well, this is the movie. The movie. I think I did see it a long time ago. But isn't that the main thing? Or is that like a giant storyline? No, it's kind of a side plot. But it's a good plot. I mean, and nobody...

I read the book, I saw the movie, and I watched the show. Yeah. And I certainly don't think I thought this was a documentary or something. But at least- But I get like anybody that meets him is going to go, oh, did you fuck off? Yeah. And your dad was a big drunk. And really his dad, like that you want to go like, no, my dad was like a good guy. Like he wasn't- I could see it. I totally understand the frustration. But it's like-

Yeah, it's tough because it's like, you know, maybe you don't need it. And maybe it's still just as big without it. I used to have a joke about all these based on true sports stories. Even there's usually the other team, they're terrible. Like I'm thinking about football. They're usually yelling racist stuff or what in so many of these movies.

Even if that's true, they were like 16 then and their real names are in the movie. Yeah. Now they're 42 working a job and they're making a movie about you. I would hate to have anything I did. That would be tough. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. That's tough. I fumbled. I was a sinner.

my senior year in football. I came, I was the only year I played football and I was a center and we played at Bush stadium where the Cardinals play. And I, I fumbled the snap four times in, in, in one quarter. It was terrible. It was awful. How does a center fumble a snap?

Not the quarterback. Oh, that's – Well – I played center. That's the easiest thing to do. You mean like literally the ball just came out of your head? Yeah, I guess I could have blamed him, but I knew it was – I was probably getting it up right because he was a more experienced player than I was. It was bad. No, dude. Never blame the lineman.

You know? Yeah. It's always the quarterback's fault. I'm so sympathetic to centers. Anytime a snap goes wrong, I go. It's probably the quarterback. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never blame the center. Because he's nervous and he's pulling out too. Yeah. You know? They get all the praise and the glory. Yeah, yeah. They can take a little bit of it. Let them take some of the blame too. Let's do one more and then we can move on. Just go to the – No, the first one's fine. Okay. I used to work – Jennifer Landris. Hmm.

I used to work at Disney's great guest communications in the 90s. This department answered guest letters and emails. So many people wrote asking if Walt's body was frozen that we had a standard response we copied and pasted to reply. The title of the file was Walt Not Frozen.

It included info about where he was buried. I'm not sure if Aaron's conspiracy theory is true, but the Disney company has been refuting the story for a long time. Wow. Yeah, but if Walt's body was frozen...

That's exactly the kind of response that you would pay. For sure. His head was. So what did they go? His body is. Yeah, his body is buried here. His body is not frozen. They just keep going, the body is not frozen. Yeah, what is his head? The body is buried there. You go, the head.

You keep asking. You go, yo, usually the head's attached to the body and his body's over there. Yeah. All right. All right. All right. So this week, I just called it the return of Greg Warren because we didn't get into the Missouri stuff last time like a lot of people wanted to get into. So I got some Missouri stuff, but I got to ask first. All right.

We did an episode on peanut butter and potato chips. Yeah. It aired on May 18th. Yeah. We broke the story about Jif. You gave all the inside secrets. Two days later, a recall. I know where this is going. A Jif recall because of salmonella. I know where this is going. Just come out and say it. I know. Yeah. Tell me, was it a hit job? Was it something – did you expose too much? No, man. I mean –

It was tough. It was very tough. And I got a lot of pictures of shelves, empty shelves from your listeners. And, you know, what happened was there was 14 jars across the country. Just 14? 14 that they found salmonella in.

Salmonella. Salmonella. Yeah. And we took it down. Okay. We took it all down. It was gone for about, it's back. It's back. Yeah.

And I don't feel good about it. You think now is it back and you are just leaning into the salmonella and giving all the bottles salmonella? No, no. But is that the easier way to go? No, it's not, Nate. To just go, we can't. I see what you're doing here, man. It's 50-50. These people's lives depend on this, man. We're talking about, Jeff, it's 50-50 if salmonella is in there. It's not.

So we're just going to 100% and we're going to advertise. It definitely has salmonella. I want to point out right now. What is it called? Salmonella. Salmonella. I want to point out right now that this happened in 2006 with Peter Pan. Oh, wow. This did. How many bottles do you think they had?

I don't know, man. I mean, I don't know, but it hurt him, okay? Right. And it happened just this past year in 2022. Skippy, they found some metal particles in their peanut butter, and they shut it down, okay? Now, that doesn't make it right for Jif, okay? This has been happening for years. Well, I don't know about years. It's a bad situation. When it happened to Peter Pan, did they just send out bottles of him throwing up on the –

on the new thing. I don't even remember hearing about those. Exactly. It's 2006, man. You're running around with teenagers in your name. Yeah.

Yes. But whatever it was last year. Yeah, it was, man. It happened. Okay. But I feel terrible about it. You know. As a salesman, would you have to go and pull all those off the shelf? Was that your responsibility? That's a good question, man. Well, it didn't happen on my watch. I know, but if you were still doing it. Yeah. I would bet that, yeah, our retail force probably had to get in there. You had no recalls on any of your products when you were working? Man.

No, I don't think so. Not that I... No, we didn't have any recalls. Wow. Yeah. We had like outdated juice that we had to pour out when I had to do the... Pour it out. Citrus Hill brand. Yeah. Back when we had Citrus Hill orange juice, they'd say... Citrus Hill orange juice. Hey, man. Okay. Citrus Hill...

We didn't do that well in that business. We got beat up. But I'll tell you right now, everything that you enjoy in Orange Juice today, we came up with. Everything. Whoa. Everything. Palt-free? Yeah.

Yeah, I don't. I think that's us. That's maybe the one thing I enjoy in orange juice. Well, the main thing. Okay, no, it's not. It's not, Aaron. I guarantee you it is not. There's a lot of stuff that you take for granted. You're probably right. Yeah. So back in the day, you'd have a cardboard carton of orange juice, right? And you'd have to unfold the top to pour it out, and it would get soggy, you know? And then somebody put a screw-off top on the side. Wow.

Whoa. Citrus Hill. Citrus Hill. Wow. Okay. And then, you know, now like let's say you want a big jug orange juice, right? Like, you know, Trop has the big white jug and Minute Maid has the big orange jug with the handle on it. It's a 96 or sometimes a 128 ounce jug.

We were the first ones to do that. Wow. We were the first ones that plastic show. Fortifying orange juice with calcium. We did that. Okay? Whoa. Yeah, we started all that. Yeah. Yeah. And then we had Sunny Delight too. Oh, Sunny Delight is big. It still is big. It still is big. It's very big. Yeah. But if there's a big recall, would that affect your bottom line? I don't think so. I mean, it may affect. Well, I mean, I. Is it just a black eye on the legacy? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's nothing to be proud of, man. It's not, I mean, yeah, I took a lot of calls and I don't even work there anymore. And yeah, I took a ton of calls, mostly from your listeners. Okay. And I had, I had to, they were like, explain this to us. It's not an, and I was, you

You know, I'm not an employee of this podcast, but I felt like it was my responsibility to answer every one of these things that came on. There was pictures they were getting to send me around of an empty shelf with no GIF on it. And like, that doesn't hurt us. Did you have a strong, did you have a response that you kind of copy and pasted like the Disney? Not like Disney and Salier or whatever. Yeah, no, I. This is just a.

No, that's a different man. It came from the heart with me. Yeah. Yeah. Like I individually answered each one of those and I was honest about it. I'm like, Hey, I don't feel good about this. Did you talk to anybody in that world, in the GIF world when this happened? Oh man, I couldn't, I couldn't. Those guys were dealing with. Yeah. My buddy, John Brazzi is their number two guy. He's the COO of Smuckers. Yeah. Who owns GIF now. Wow. Yeah.

Wow. And I just couldn't, I knew what he was dealing with. He didn't send a text to go, I know, man. Thinking of you, brother. Yeah. Thinking of you. Yeah. Hang in there. We're praying for you. Yeah. I just felt like he's getting it from all ends at that point, man. Yeah. Aaron's laughing like, can you imagine what the pressure that was on him, man? It took-

It took a toll. It took, I hope it didn't, but I mean, it took Peter Pan down in 2006. Those guys were a major player and they are not now. They are no longer even, they are also ran. It's a Skippy, I think if anybody, it helps Skippy. Yeah. Maybe Skippy had something to do with it.

I was thinking about that with this, when I heard about this thing with Jif, you know, I was like, man, this has got Peter Pan written all over it.

yeah these guys yeah this sounds like some of the garbage those guys would pull yeah because yeah yeah they're not yeah peter pan they're coming in they all have price salmonella yeah i can't say what is it salmonella salmonella salmonella salmonella salmonella um what is salmonella just like uh

Even to tell you what I picture, I always picture like it's like some kind of worm or something. I picture like a real thing. Like a tapeworm? Like one of those? There you go. No, I don't know. I think it's just like. It's bacteria. Yeah, bacteria. And where does it come from? A jiff. It doesn't. It comes from a Lexington Kentucky jiff plant. No, it doesn't. And yeah, Lexington is where it happened, man. Yeah. Where you shot your special?

I did. I shot it there for a reason, man. It was, yeah. Yeah. I shot it there because that's where it just made. But, um. Now I saw a, um, cause you sell Pringles. Yeah. Um, Mandela effect. You know what Mandela effect is? Yeah. It's like basically, um, everything that we all think happened, but it really didn't happen.

There's a Pringles brand sour cream and... Onion. It's the number two flavor. It's green. I should have asked someone else besides the expert. Most people think it was sour cream and chives, and there's never been a sour cream and chives. That's sour cream and onion, man. I think I would have said sour cream and onion. It was always number... The green can, it was the number two in the flavor profile all the time. Well, we had a right crisp...

which was like like lighter fat. There's 168 Pringle flavors. Oh man. We, do we talk about Tarangos? We did talk about that. God, man, that was a disaster. That was, that was just, man, that was brutal. Uh, but, uh, do you guys know Pringles? Um, when they introduced it, came out in 68 and, uh,

which is the same year I was born, way after Ed McMahon. Or no, who? Oh, Dick Van Dyke. Dick Van Dyke, yeah. Ed McMahon too. Yeah. So it came out and they –

they, uh, we're doing really well gangbusters. Okay. I think it was called Pringles newfangled potato chips when they first came out. And, uh, the, the government said, Hey, you guys are made up of corn and soy and wheat and potatoes. You're not made of a hundred percent potatoes. Um, you can't call yourselves potato chips. You have to call yourselves potato crisps. Right. Right. You know, because it was like a big court case and we did and we did. And, and people were like, yeah, um,

We still like them. They're still good. And the government was like, you know, they're not made of 100% potatoes. And people were like, yeah, we kind of figured that when they were uniformly stacked on top of each other in the perfect shape of a horse saddle. Come on, guys. Yeah, they were. There was like a famous lawsuit. And I think something – and then it was weird in Britain because –

We call ourselves crisps, but in London, that's what chips are. They're called crisps. So do you have to call them chips in London? I think so. Something like that. Yeah. Next week on the Europe episode, we'll get into that. Okay. But now you're just a – you're called Pringles. Pringles.

Like you say you want some potato chips. I guess if you said you want potato chips, I would say, well, I have Pringles and Lay's and all this. Or we have like, but Pringles are, you also go, you want some, I would never go, you want some potato chips and then offer you Pringles. No. What are you talking about? That's insane behavior. I'm saying, if I have Pringles-

And I would go, do you want a Pringle? I wouldn't go, do you want a potato chip? But if I had like Ruffles. I know what you're saying. If I had Ruffles, I would say, you want some chips? And then I would hand you just whatever bag of chips. You would never go, you've got some Ruffles? I'm saying Pringles have their own thing. I know what you're saying. You're saying they're their own thing, and they are. But I think, let's have a party, okay? And let's serve Pringles. Does anybody want any potato chips? And you give them Pringles, and people are going to be fine with it, man. No, no, no. You're missing. No, I think we're on different pages here. Okay.

I'm saying that Pringles are their own thing. Yes. If I said buy some potato chips, I'd buy Pringles and Ruffles and I'd buy all the potato chips. But if I handed, if I had Pringles in my hand and I wouldn't say, do you want a potato chip and only offer you a Pringle? I would say, do you want a Pringle? Yeah, I got what you're saying. But if I had Ruffles, I would say, do you want potato chips? I wouldn't say, do you want a Ruffle? I got what you're saying. Pringle, I'm saying is its own description. It is its own thing. Um, and then that, uh, you know, and there's been some imitators out there, uh,

Lay's stacks. Yeah. Yeah. Try to take it. The one problem I have with Pringles. They did all right. Lay's stack. I mean, I know about them. Okay. Yeah, that's true. You know about them. Yeah, man. Those guys are like –

They own 90% of that aisle. Yeah. Frito-Lay. And they basically put all these... I think we talked about this last time. They put all the regional chippers out of business. Right. And then the one person they were gunning for was like, this is the last person we're going to take down is Pringles. And they came after us with this...

you know, uh, stacks and, uh, it didn't work. I mean, they carved out a little market share because I'll tell you another thing about Frito-Lay, man, those guys, they are, um,

They're bribers, man. Yeah. They would go into these stores with all kinds of just, hey, you want baseball tickets? You want any of this kind of stuff? You like camping. You want a tent or whatever? And I would go in there and I'd go in there and say, hey, man, I can show you a way to build your profit. I'm not going to get into all this business. I'm going to do it the right way. Yeah. But they want to go that Don Dillinger game. Don Dinkinsher. Dinkinsher. Dillinger. Yeah.

My one complaint about Pringles, though, the design, once you get so low where you can't get your – you got to tip it over, and then all the crumbs come out. What do they say about that? I think that's part of it. I think you kind of like it. I mean – It's part of the ritual. It's part of the – yeah. Yeah, it's kind of – it's like Oreos. Like when you got to get – now they have that pullback thing, and you're like – you got to climb in there. They're in the trays. Yeah. It's just part of it. Yeah, I like an Oreo. Pringles, did you ever think about –

doing it sideways and have like, here's the thing, Bates. I mean, it's, it's a valid concern. Okay. Nothing's perfect in the world. Okay. So you got to ask yourself, uh, do I want that? Do I want to live with that mild problem? And you made it sound like there's all kinds of crumbs down there. There's maybe two broken chips. Okay. Yeah.

Two broken chips. Come on now. Again, again. The bottom 20% is borderline powder. Yeah, if you're shaking it around like a rattle, man, what are you doing? I mean, you got to treat it like a food. But if...

Would you rather have that or would you rather buy a bag of chips that's half air, okay, it's half air, and you want to talk about broken with the way Aaron treats his chips. It's got Pringles with it. And a plate.

We're going to see. No, man. I had to be involved in the beginning of this. This feels like a setup. You and Laura set this up two weeks ago. We were going to shake them up. I take my shirt off. I have a stack shirt on. Let me tell you something. Yeah, man. Bates, which would you rather have? That or...

everything has its inherent problems. I think it's, I think it's a, what's the thing where they go? It's a, it's character. It's the, or something like it's a, it adds characters of Pringles. Yeah, man. It's part of it. It's part of it. Aaron, would you rather have Folgers or Starbucks new product? Oh, I'll tell you exactly what I would have. You know, there's a lot in,

going on in my life right now. Life moves fast. Starbucks has ready to drink coffee. They deliver an uplifting boost that helps you tune into the moments that matter wherever you are. It's Starbucks coffee conveniently packaged for life on the go. This stuff is so delicious. It's so fun to drink. The bottled Frappuccino coffee drink is inspired by Starbucks cafe favorites. It's chilled and comes in four awesome flavors, mocha, vanilla, caramel,

And coffee. I overthink the word caramel. I never know how to say it. It's tough, man. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. I don't want to say caramel. I think I say caramel. All right. So we got some Pringles. Let's just see what the crumb is.

Now, to be fair, this one's half full. Salt and vinegar. Salt and vinegar, man, that's a great. Bursting with flavor, it says. Harper's a big Pringle girl. Yeah, I remember you said that. But this one's kind of beat up. This is definitely. Look at that. That's a lot. That's not bad at all. That's not. Yeah. The bottom. The crumbs came out first. Yeah.

Yeah, but I mean, it's been sitting there. That thing, it's a half full can. Yeah. Okay. Well, yeah, that's what I said. When it gets low and you can't, I mean, that's when it gets bad. You're not pulling from the bottom. And the flavor delivery system on salt and vinegar, man, I guarantee you're not going to get a better. I just did. Now, I got an unopened can. Oh, wow. That's pink. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Let's see what, I mean, we can see what we did. I don't know how we're going to get these back in there. We brought these out with Pizza-licious.

Same time. Sun vinegar. So we introduced these in, I'd say probably 96, 97. It was this and Pizza-licious. And everybody...

Everybody thought salt and vinegar was going to be the winner. Pizza-licious was pizza-licious. Slots in at number five right out of the gate, man. Wow. Yeah. It's because of kids. Yeah. Because of kids. Me and my friend Gene Williams were the only ones in the brand that were like, no, man, pizza-licious is going to do better than salt and vinegar. Gene called it. Yeah. Gene sounds like a guy that would know that. Yeah. Unopened can.

The normal wear and tear hasn't done anything. Yeah, I'll go with it. And we haven't thrown it. I mean, allegedly. Allegedly. I'm a Lays guy. You gotta be kidding. Does Lays even make a salt and vinegar? I'll be honest with you. It looks good so far. That's a nice stack. I don't think there's any crumbs, dude. It's very minimal. By the way, I didn't say there was never going to be a crumb.

He said maybe two chips. Okay, just for the record. That's a solid-looking stack. We are halfway out, and we haven't seen Crum one, okay? Oh, look. And it dumped. But there's – I mean, overall. Greg, I'll be honest with you. That's way better than I thought it would be. Yeah, man. Yeah, that's – I mean, I'll live with that, and I'll own that. I'll be like, hey, man, nobody is saying –

Yeah. I'm looking at maybe like three broken chips, maybe. That's great. And here, look at that. Okay? Mm-hmm. Go ahead and knock that. What do you mean? It's a solid chain. The investment that we made in protecting our product that Bates' chips do not even care. No.

Yeah, I mean, this didn't cheat, by the way. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're cutting into your own margins, but you do it for the customer. Yes, yes, man. You think, which is why, by the way, which is why Pringles are giant internationally.

Because before we started making plants, we have a bunch of plants all over now. We started shipping these things. We were shipping them to China because they could make the trip. You can't send a bag of Lays over to China. You get smashed up. Yeah, you got nothing. All right. Now, Smuckers, I was reading how the GIF recall effect to Smuckers. Smuckers are doing pretty well, it sounds like. Uncrustables. Are you an Uncrustable guy? Yeah.

I don't, man. That's probably after your time, right? Well, okay. First of all, I worked for Procter & Gamble. So Smucker's not really. And then they sold the brand to Smucker's. All right. After I left. Procter & Gamble's out of the food business. Oh, so you wouldn't even be involved anymore. No. They would have moved me over to Soap or something. Are they the lawyer business now? What's that? The lawyer business.

Oh. Procter & Gamble. Sounds like a law firm. Procter & Gamble. Oh, yeah. Nate didn't even know what Procter & Gamble was last time. P&G. Let's just go through your house, Nate, and I'll show you 90 items. I'll show you what it is. 90 items that you have that Procter & Gamble makes. Okay? Uh.

But, yeah, Smucker's awesome. The Uncrustables are great. William Morgan has it on her rider, Uncrustables, in her dressing room. Yeah. It's not bad. It's not a bad rider. That's pretty good. I should get a rider, I think. Because it's just a solid, like, I almost should get it because she is smart about that. Yeah. With, like, getting it just to eat like that before you go on stage. Yeah. It gives you a little energy. It's not too heavy. I mean, they're great.

Put them in the freezer. To freeze them? Yeah. Really? You get them that cold? No, you let them thaw out a little bit. But just to preserve them. Yeah. I like them warm. Do you know what Uncrustables, what kind of peanut butter they're using? They're not warm, but...

Vroomtent? Vroomtent. I don't. I assume Jif, since it's Smuckers. Does Smuckers make Uncrustables? Mm-hmm. I would bet, yeah, now it is Jif. Or Smuckers has their own peanut butter now. It's not my thing, but it's... But I think there are knockoffs of this, right? They don't have a patent on the ready-to-go peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yeah, but they're... There are knockoff brands, but they're the catapult. Yeah, they're going to call... What are they called? Like, you know...

I don't even know what you would call it. Non, non, we ain't got no crustable. Yeah, yeah. We ain't got no, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Non-crustable. Yeah. Perfect sandwich. Yeah. That's what I'd call it, perfect sandwich. Yeah, that is, I mean, I get that that's a good thing, but I'm not a jelly guy. Yeah, I'm a jelly guy. I'm more of a peanut butter purist. Like I would say, get yourself a nice, like a...

loaf of Dave's Killer Bread or one of these like, you know, good grain bread. Yeah, yeah. Put some Jif on there and then, you know, now you got, that's what Leanne ought to be asking for. Just when you're out on the road like that. Well, she's got to make it.

You don't have to make this. She's a mom. Leigh-Anne can make a peanut butter sandwich, Nate. I know Leigh-Anne. I know. You're busy, Leigh-Anne. I don't know what – I mean, I haven't talked to her in a couple months, but has she gotten that big that she can't spread? I know she's doing well. You got to think every show, every night, you don't want to be spreading it. I'm more looking out for her health, okay? Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying you shouldn't eat Uncrustables. I'm saying –

You don't want to be having jelly at every meal, man. Have a nice, a good... It's not her meal. It's just a snack right before the show. Well, I mean, but yeah, if you get in that kind of habit, man... It's a slippery slope. As many shows as Leanne's doing right now, as much as she's traveling, you got to be careful about your health. You don't want to be having a bunch of jelly. Uncrustables a week? Yeah. You wake up and that's what you're having. And you're at risk of salmonella already. Salmonella. You add the sugar from... That's true. You're not at risk anymore.

And the precautions that these guys have taken. You think is that a diet plan to get salmonella and then you lose a bunch of weight? Nah, you guys are making fun of me. So you think he will? It's a serious thing. How did they figure out 14? Gene told them. No, they got genes at Coca-Cola. Was that a tough loss?

Yeah. Yeah, that was a big loss. Yeah, that was a big loss. Yeah. Gene was up and comer, man. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe Gene is some dude that's zero Dr. Pepper Cherry.

I could ask him. Yeah, because they're doing some really good things. No, Dr. Pepper isn't Coke, are they? Dr. Pepper's not Coke. Dr. Pepper's its own thing. Dr. Pepper's seven up Dr. Pepper. It's his own thing. Neither Coke nor Pepsi. Does Coke have a Pibb or is that... Mr. Pibb is Coke, I believe. Mr. Pibb's Coke. Yeah, Gene... Wow, I didn't know that. I mean, you and Gene might... Gene's a big Georgia fan, man. Oh, yeah? I was at the National Chips again. Yeah, I'm sure he was too, man. Yeah. Yeah, wow, I did not know that. I thought Dr. Pepper was...

They're their own thing. I didn't know that either. Mr. Pibb or Pibb Extra is a- Dallas, Texas maybe? Yeah. Dr. Pepper? Yeah. It's a Texas drink for sure. Yeah. That's crazy. It's its own- They paired up with 7-Up, I think. Wow. Yeah, they paired up with 7-Up. They paired up a long time ago with 7-Up? Yeah.

I think 80s maybe. I mean, because Dr. Pepper is holding its own as far as, you know, it's one thing. It's a good drink, man. It's a good drink. And it's, you know what? Remember when you would get those 20 ounce plastic bottles that we all get if you're on the road, man, you grab a 20 ounce soda. That's that pet plastic. As old as time. Yeah. They used to be glass, okay? Yeah.

in the 80s, and the first one to come up with the plastic was Dr. Pepper and 7-Up. They had – Coke and everybody was glass, and then those guys were the first one to have plastic. They had – they must have been like a patent or something because for about two years, I was like, well, I don't care what. I'm getting the plastic. Even if I feel like a Coke, I'm getting the plastic because it's just – it's got a better feel to it.

Interesting. I remember a commercial where someone would actually knock the glass bottle off the table and it would shatter and go everywhere. Really? Yep. And then someone knocked plastic and it just bounces because it's plastic. That's how they sold you on it. Really? Look how much better this is. Yeah. I was really hoping you would remember this commercial, Greg. I don't remember it, man. I mean, yeah, I don't remember that. It's genius. It's good marketing. He was in the thick of it back then. Yeah.

Yeah, I had a lot going on. I had a lot going on. A lot going on. Yeah, that was... You weren't even thinking about soda. No, we had the... That was probably right around the time when we had the Fisher Nut acquisition. What was that? You know Fisher Nuts? No. I mean, maybe. I don't know. It's like a kind of a competitor of planners. Here's an interesting move in the beverage industry I had no idea of. Do you know Keurig owns Dr. Pepper, Snapple, 7-Up, and more? Wow. Keurig owns these brands now.

I tell you what, you blink, you'll miss a lot. Oh man, that's the one category. These companies get moved all around. Beverage is crazy. No, I'm just saying, because we sold Folgers. Yeah. And that is the one category where I feel like I couldn't go back and be relevant. Coffee, it's a different world now. Because there was no Keurig when I sold it, man. You're talking, I feel like I'd be a-

You know, I wouldn't know the price points. I wouldn't, you know, I'd feel, that seemed like a dinosaur. You're like, you know, what's your price on curd? You're like, I can get you a percolator. You know, I'd sell you a percolator and I'll no drip if you, if you, you know, old man, you don't know what you're doing. Yeah, this guy. When's the coffee going to be ready? You're like, a couple of days. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know anything about that business anymore. It's embarrassing. I could go in. I could, I could walk back in and be selling peanut butter in a week. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, what would you need? Just a little... Just wrap your head around what's happening? I mean, I know what's happening. I go and I keep an eye on the shelves. But I would just need to know the price points. I need to know, hey, what are we advertising? What are we trying to do? Yeah, like back in the day, man.

The lowest price point you're going to hit. I mean, 18 ounce, that's the main size. You know, that's, that's where all the promotions happen is 18 ounce. And you know, you want to fight for, it was, it was a fight to get the back to school ad. And a very aggressive ad back then would have been two for three. Wow. You go two for three on an 18 ounce. And that's like, if you guys see that, and I don't know if they're doing that anymore.

Stock up. Yeah. It's not coming back till next August. Yeah. Yeah. A two for three. A two for three. Yeah. That's like, and as the other companies are like, oh, are they annoyed? Well,

I mean, I'm not, I don't want to point fingers, but like, like Skippy and Peter Pan would come in real low, real low for that back to school ad. They would come in and they'd give them some kind of crazy deal. And these guys would buy, they'd buy pallets and pallets full of it. Cause it's like, you know, grocery stores, like, Hey, let's load up at this low price. Okay. And they couldn't sell it all in that back to school ad. Well, guess what you're eating for the next six months.

six months. Right. You're eating peanut butter that's been sitting in the back room because they bought too much. Yeah. And it's, you're not eating a fresh product. Yeah. You know, where... At Jif, we, I mean...

Yeah, we didn't do quite as – we played some games. I'm not going to say I was innocent, but we – Yeah. Yeah. But we played some games, but not like they did. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the true – in the cake mix business, the true – Betty Crocker and Duncan Hines – or Betty – I had Duncan Hines, but Betty Crocker and Pillsbury, Pillsbury especially, the ones that played that kind of game. Yeah. I mean, it's like they're selling them three years' worth of cake mix for the Christmas ad. And it was embarrassing. Yeah.

You want to eat a three-year-old cake mix? You ever try to bake with... I mean, it's not out of date. It's not going to be out of date. Cake mix doesn't go out of date, but it's not going to be a fresh... Do you know all the stuff that expires and doesn't expire? What do you feel about expirations? Are you like...

Is it, are there some places being loose where you're going, come on? I. Or is it summer? I mean, most of my stuff was other than that Citrus Hill. That was where, you know, that was very strict dating and they're pouring it out. Yeah. It was like, yeah, we're not. Right. But as a consumer. So why did Citrus, all right. I have both questions, but Citrus Hill, so Citrus Hill just never took off?

As an orange juice, but it made a lot of stuff. Nate, if I knew that. Yeah. I mean, if I knew the answer to that. Probably the name. You think you'd be sitting here today if we knew the answer to that question? If I knew, no. If I knew the answer to that, man, I'd be running that company. I bet it's the name. I don't think it's the name. I don't know. Every other thing has got a name. Like Citrus Hill doesn't sound- You think Citrus Hill doesn't sound as good as Minute Maid? No.

it's not really not an orange game. It seems too fancy. Citrus Hill seems too expensive and too fancy. So it would seem like it doesn't for the blue collar person is going to be like, if you're like, I drink Citrus Hill, I think it feels like kind of high end. And where if you're like, I got Minute Maid, that's more of like kids, mom, I'm getting Minute Maid, Sunny D, it's easy to say what you have. Yeah. That's what I think. I love that you think Sunny D belongs in that category. With that, which person? With, with,

We sold a lot of Sunny D because people like you thought it was orange juice.

Yeah, it's the same thing. Yeah. I mean, because what, I mean, what's, yeah, it's like, but you're not really thinking about it. Like, you're just like. Yeah, no. You're pouring a drink, you're drinking a drink, and you're going about your day. But that's, this is what I, my theory with all of Hollywood or even anything, any of this stuff is they don't, you go like, yeah, dude, I have a life. I can't just sit and think about what this thing is that I'm drinking. That's why it's easy to,

Citrus Hill is, it's kind of, if you have to go, what is that? And then you'd be like, I don't know. And it's already, I'm already out. I mean, but it had, even if it's the better one, it was the better one. Even if it's the better one. It's like, if you tell me what Minimate is, it's like, I'm not even, I'm not even, there's not a thought of even, I know what it is.

Yeah, but that's because you grew up with it, man. Well, that's where you're competing against. I'm telling you why you failed. I don't know why we failed, man. I think we just didn't know how to be a food business. We're more of a soap company. So they are, yeah. Citadel does soap? Procter & Gamble. Tide is Tide. Tide would be its own company. Tide would be a Fortune 200 company by itself. And you throw Downey in there?

I mean, those are the- It's a wrap. Yeah. And we got kind of treated like the- Game over. Stepchildren. Like, I was a food beverage rep. Then you had the paper rep. Yeah. Bounty, Charmin, Pampers, right there. Giants. Giants. Okay. And then you had the health and beauty, like Crest, Scope, that kind of stuff. And soap was-

Soap was Tide and then like Cascade and that kind of thing. So food and beverage, we got treated like stepchildren. And we got abused in some ways because they could take it out on us. Like the Tide guy would walk in and be like, yeah, you're going to take this because you need Tide. And there's no substitute.

And then I'd walk in there and be like, the guy would be mad at the Tide guy and he'd take it out on me. He'd be like, hey, man, I can get Maxwell House instead of Folgers. You're not that big of a player. Right. Yeah. So the expirations, do you think people get loose with that? Like the expiration date? I hope not. Yeah. Man, I hope not. Yeah. I mean- I hope not. I hope not. That's a serious thing. I don't think so. Yeah. I mean-

I'm not going to say anything. Yeah. I think you still got friends on the inside. Yeah. I just, you know, it'd be, it'd be a cheap shot to be that. I think that some of these guys are doing it, but no, I don't think so. Yeah. I think now the retailer might, I mean, that was like an old, uh, Simpsons episode. I think we're like, uh, Apu was talking about like, you're like, okay, this is the time of the day when we go change the expiration. Yeah. I think I can't remember what the episode was. Yeah. I would imagine some of the, uh,

Some of the retailers, yeah. Do you think you're, as a consumer, are you more worried about expiration dates than me, do you think? Like, do you heed them strictly? No, I do maybe just because I'm, like, you know, it's back to the

I'm a maniac, like not being able to finish a sleep study. That OCD type thing is not because of my experience in the business. Okay. Because again, most of our stuff, they all have like the package stuff, it won't have an expiration date. If you notice, you get your peanut butter, it'll say best buy. Yeah.

It's a best by date. So this product is best by March 10th, 2025. Right. Okay. But that doesn't mean you can't eat it. It's not going to kill you. It's the best before that. It's going to taste- But still pretty good after. It's not going to hurt you. Right. But you've all had, like I get it with peanuts, man. I love peanut, like dry roasted peanuts, man. And every now and I'll just take, I'll be, come on, man. There's something up here. This is not-

Yeah, I never liked the Best Buy thing because you're like, well, what's the actual thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I just take it, well, that's my expression then, I guess. I kind of do too. Yeah, yeah. I mean, maybe on like what, you know, spices. Yeah.

That's the one thing I wonder. Like spices, because they all have best buy dates on spices. And I'm like, do I really need to only use this spice every now and then? I got to go buy a whole nother thing of this spices. Paprika or whatever. Yeah, I'll play it fast and loose with spices. Laura's weird with expressions, but I mean, I have a joke about that. But yeah, but she'll, not weird with it, she'll let stuff fly.

I mean, I'm- Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Not like meat though, right? No, not meat. Eggs? No, no, not that stuff. But I mean, anything that's like- Dog medicine. I mean, it just doesn't- These Pringles are expired. They're not expired.

Dude, did you try one of those? Yeah, I did. I mean, did you? Honestly. I did. I savored it, man. I enjoyed it. It's the perfect amount of salt and vinegar on there, man. It is perfect. They're doing good things. Yeah, man. Yeah. I had a few Missouri questions I wanted to ask you. Yeah, sure, man. One of them I posed to these guys when you weren't here. So the St. Louis Arch. Yeah. 630 feet tall. Yeah. Do you know how wide it is? No. No.

It was built in 64, was it? Now explain what you mean by width. Between the two legs? Yeah. Yes. Man, I don't. I did know the 630, but I don't know the width. You want to make a guess? I'll just tell you. 250? It's 630. It's the same. Oh, man. It's a perfect square. Is it really? Yeah. You guys ever been up there? Perfect square? Yeah.

It's not square, but it's as wide as it is tall. I have been up in it. Yeah, I have. Is that what you're still saying? If you were to diagram the space that this occupies in the sky, right? Leg to leg, you'll go straight up from each leg and then across. That's a square. But I mean, that's not the shape of a square. No, it's not at all. He's got you there, man. Nice. Yeah.

But I'm saying, let's say you put that on graph paper. I don't even have to look at the internet to tell you to write them. You get what I'm saying, though. The space that it occupies is a square. I don't. And we just said it's as tall as it is wide. Yeah. So that's what a square is? That's a square. So then what's the point of even having a square? If anything can be a square, then what's the point of something being a square? Why would you even have a square? Let's get rid of squares because I guess everything's a square. No.

All right. That's fair. I kind of see where you're going. Yeah. I'm saying if you put that on a graph paper. Yeah. Right. I mean, you'd have to. Which would be extremely difficult. Yeah. Well, not to scale. All right. That's a lot of paper. Yeah.

Is that what they would say? It'd be wasteful. No, obviously it's an arch. It's a different shape. But the fact that it's the same width as its height. It's like a square. You think about its actual, the space that it occupies. You wouldn't put something to the left of the top. You know what I mean? You wouldn't put anything there. Whom would say that? On top of the... Well, I mean, if you look at the picture...

If you bring in those, if you would bring it, if you crop it. Right. Yeah. Now. Now, you wouldn't put anything here is what I'm saying. But I'm saying if you cropped it by the legs, you took that in, then you would have a square, I think is what he's saying. Yeah. You could make a square out of this. But it doesn't look like it from here. No. Yeah. There's actually no bottom either. Well, I'm saying think about. It's just the bottom is the ground. So, I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah, there's no bottom. There is no bottom. That would be cool, though, man. I guess if we could just put stuff together, anything could be a square. You're like, yeah, we're just grabbing pieces. This Pringles could be a square if you give me a couple minutes. See that courthouse right there, the old courthouse in the middle there? That's where the Dred Scott case was decided, right there in that courthouse. Right in between the orange? Right in between. Well, I don't think it's time, no.

Arch was built in 64, I think. The guy who vetted the- Fred Scott was what? Well, you know, Nate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't a triangle? I mean, that looks more like a triangle to me than a square. Yeah, but what I'm saying is, look, you see where the mouse is right here? You wouldn't build anything right there. Yeah. You wouldn't build anything right here. So for all intents and purposes, this-

Just this is a square the space occupies right here. Square space. Yep. Square space. This is like where college, like they just. I don't even know how this could help.

Someone that went to college versus not college. I don't see the difference of what we're talking about. All right, let me give you a good segue to it. So the guy who invented the elevator for that, college dropout. All these architects couldn't figure it out, but this guy – If you've been in that elevator, you would say this guy is a college dropout. But, I mean, this is Nate to a T. He could figure out stuff the other ones couldn't. He made it half elevator, half Ferris wheel. Yeah.

Yeah, it does. It kind of goes. Yeah, it kind of goes. Yeah. It's got to. My mother hated that thing. Yeah. God, if you're any kind of claustrophobic, don't do it. Yeah. Yeah. I am now. It'd be tough now. Yeah. Have you been up there, Nate? I have. A long time ago. Yeah. You taking your daughter up?

No. You got to take it up. I know. I would maybe have trouble though because of the claustrophobia. That museum underneath is really cool, man. Yeah. That's a museum of Western expansion. It's really, really cool. Wow. That's neat. There was a guy- I mean, I don't even know how to respond. It's really cool, man. Yeah. Yeah.

As a father, you should take... Yeah. Nah, she's learned enough. We're not teaching her to pass the Mississippi. That does sound like a Southern attitude, man. There's a bunch of nonsense on the other side. You don't need... I was like, well, good night. You do not need to pass the Mississippi. I said, good night, America, because it's over.

So there was a guy who used suction cups, climbed all the way to the top and parachuted her down. Really? Yeah, in 92. I thought you would know all this, Greg. No, I didn't know. Man, God, that reminds me of one of my favorite Norm bits on Center Live News when he's doing the update or whatever. He goes, some guy, he goes, eh.

Snake Man, a guy that calls himself Snake Man, attach suction cups and climb to the top of a New York skyscraper. Just like a snake. That's a funny name for a snake man. He's like, ah. Just like a snake.

All right. You were in Kansas City this past weekend. Yeah. Yeah. Kansas City has more fountains than any city in the world, except Rome. Water fountains? Yeah. Drinking fountains. Is this like a wheels or doors thing? What do we call a fountain? Like a decorative fountain. Decorative. Yeah. I just thought, yeah. So it does not include water fountains. Yeah.

No, man. They're not drinking fountains, man. That's not what he's talking about. Oh, okay. He's talking about like, yeah, like- Fountains that have water in them. Celebrity, or celebratory. Statue in the middle. Celebrity, famous. Celebrity fountains. Famous fountains. Yeah, I think most of those are on the plaza. I think most of those are- It's funny the way it's said, too. It's like, it's got the most in the world, except Rome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's not- You go. I should just say the second most. Yeah, it's the second most. It's got the most in the world. Wow.

besides rum. Well, obviously. You know what I would say? I bet you it has the most barbecue per capita as any city. I was going to mention that next, that they're the home of barbecue. I don't know if they have the most, but... I don't know if they're... I didn't know they were the home. I can just tell you they have... It's every corner.

Well, Kansas City barbecue is, I guess, famous barbecue, right? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, so is Carolina. Yeah, Bernhans is great. Bernhans are awesome. St. Louis is famous for ribs, which Nate doesn't like. But, man, I just was there. I had barbecue three times. Well, St. Louis has all those mozzarella things. No, you're thinking of toasted ravioli. Toasted ravioli, yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah, it's got mozzarella inside of it. Yeah.

It doesn't? You're thinking fried mozzarella is a different thing. Cheese sticks? Applebee's? All right. You go to Applebee's. I'm back. I'm back. You get the little... It always goes back to Applebee's. You get a little front cheese sticks with some of those boneless ribs. Oh, yeah, man. Some of the Applebee's fries. Applebee's has some good fries. Toast ravioli is a thing and the St. Louis-style pizza. Yeah. I think you'll be interested in this, Greg. The Missouri Hyperloop. Have you heard about this? Oh. Do you know what a Hyperloop is? It's starched, but it goes underground. Yeah.

Like a square. Makes it a full square. It's kind of like a train. It is a train, but it's like a... I'm forgetting the word. Fast train. A shuttle. Oh, is this the thing we're going to do from St. Louis to Kansas City? Yeah. That's not going, though, is it? Well, there's still talk about it. There's a committee. It would be awesome, man. It would be the fastest train in the world, except for, obviously, the train that's faster. Yeah.

Except for the one in a row. What's the trip now from St. Louis to Kansas City? How long is that? I just did it yesterday. How long is it? Three and a half. All right. This would be under 30 minutes. Wow.

Man, it would change. I'd be doing spots in Kansas City just because I could. Yeah. I don't know how many people really need to bounce between St. Louis and Kansas City. But it's good to know that it's going to be that quick. I mean, I can't imagine that they're like, a guy's like, if I could just bounce back and forth between Kansas City. Man, there's a lot of business. I mean, the T.

T-Mobile's over there? I know, but I just can't imagine. Does it stop in Columbia? That's where the Missouri Tigers. I don't think you can stop it for 30 minutes. Yeah.

Yeah, you can't do stops. It says connect the city of St. Louis, Columbia, and Kansas City. There you go, man. Stop right where I went to college. How are you going to do it in 30 minutes? Are they still thinking about building it? Dude, I just traveled on that. I-70? Yeah, I-70. There's nothing that would let you know that that thing's coming. Oh, yeah. I mean, I would love it, man.

It says Missouri Governor Mike Parson. Is he still the governor? Yeah, Parson's the senator. He announced a panel committee to examine the funding and construction of it. I'd like to see him put one between here and Nashville. So what, you have to pay taxes for it? Oh, sure. That stuff drives me. I don't know.

I don't know much about taxes. But that'd be so fun with your taxes, man. Now it's just like, Kansas City, Missouri? Yeah, but you're like just stolen stuff out like every year. Taxes, yeah. It is probably something that some guy tried to get elected on. Hey, what we're going to do-

Oh, yeah. But I mean, I don't know that's... You think it's good for your body if you did that every day? Traveling that fast, just your insides? Do you think it's good for your... People fly every day. They go way faster. Yeah, that's true. I don't know. How fast would this be? 500 miles an hour or something? I think so. It's like magnets and there's no friction. So it just... Oh, that's so scary. It zips along. I almost don't trust it. It feels like that RoboCop, man, when they'd send them into the future.

They stick them in that thing and they just fly off, man. Elon Musk is trying to do one from Southern California to Northern California and get from LA to San Francisco in 30 minutes. He already has those tunnels, right? He's trying. Boring tunnels. Yeah. It's a good name. Boring. Boring. Some of the worst natural disasters in history in Missouri. Some crazy tornadoes. Joplin tornado. Yeah, that was bad, man. I had friends that were affected by that.

Uh, the new Madrid earthquake. Yeah. The new Madrid fault. Of course in Missouri, we don't, we don't say new Madrid, which is how it should be. Oh yeah. It's new Madrid. Um, yeah, that, the, the, that fault is real close to St. Louis.

They just had an earthquake? This was like 1811. 1811. That's how Rulefoot Lake was created. We may be vulnerable. Yeah, but everybody's vulnerable. Man, this was over the course of three months. Can you imagine? Terrible earthquake in December and then January and February. They keep getting aftershocks.

Wow. But every day? No. There's two additional aftershocks. But two, and they were that big. Yeah, they were that big that they just kind of lumped them all together. An earthquake is about the scariest thing I've experienced. I've never felt it. I mean, all of the tornadoes and all the... It's the...

it's the the least control you have because everything is shaking yeah it's every like it's it's and you're like it's the earth it's not you know what i mean like you think well i'll run outside i'll run inside everything is shaking it's you have to go up you have to go up and then uh so i climbed a tree and didn't feel anything and uh did you were you in an earthquake

Yeah. What? I've been in a few. Well, you lived in LA. I lived in, well, I was in New York when we had it in New York. New York had an earthquake. Really? Yeah. I mean, I remember my things shaking in LA when I lived out there, but I don't ever remember like this. I just feel like, oh, this is a little weird, but like- You didn't think it's an earthquake?

No, it's what do they call it? It's like a- Aftershock? Tremor. Tremor? It's something like that. And you just, you know, you've just seen it all in St. Louis that you're not even fazed by the earth moving. I just had been around enough people in LA were like, this is a thing that happens every couple of months where your china shakes. This is the problem. This is why I don't go across the Mississippi River. The arrogance.

of once you pass it everybody's like this is ain't gonna wake up for the earth shaking i do remember like stuff shaking in my condo in la and being like this is a little i mean that map looks like we could be okay memphis not so much but yeah here in nashville of course i live on the west side of town so that's how the new madrid earthquake would uh yeah yeah yeah

I guess that's how it affected. That was 1895. Yeah, it's the first time I felt one. I went to LA and it was, I mean, the light thing was really moving. It was like, it was a big one. And then you would feel some little ones. I know those little ones that you're talking about. And then you would, in New York, when we felt it, uh,

Laura worked in a high rise for something. But I felt it. And I was in New York because it was like in LA, you were just immediately like, that's an earthquake because that's what they do. But in New York, it was like, well, I don't know what's happening. And I was playing video games at home and I remember sitting on the couch and I saw a dump truck and I thought, is that dump truck just that loud? And then I would talk about it. I'd go out. This is how much people don't want to talk to their neighbors in New York.

We all walk out. All of us are on the porches looking at each other. Not one person goes, did you feel that? I mean, they don't have earthquakes. None of us are like, hey, did you feel that? We all just stared at each other and then we all just went back inside. Yeah. I remember my parents visiting me up there. Now we'd all be in the cul-de-sac talking. Yeah. In New York, you're like. Because you know your neighbors. I do know. I remember my parents visiting me like, well, what's your neighbor like? I'm like.

what my neighbor's like. Yeah. What are you talking about? I don't know that guy. Yeah. I never saw him once. We can wrap up. There's some cool things invented. That's like, they do worry like they're, you know, everything's like, we're all on fault lines. We're all on everything. Everything's on, you know, you're like, all right, what are you gonna do? Yeah. Yeah. I want to have my own car and not have to be mercy to, uh,

This Hyperloop. You know what I mean? Isn't there something to be said about that? I don't want to rely on this kind of transportation. You're telling me that wouldn't be fun, man? I mean, it'd be fun to have. If you had some of the KC barbecue, you'd be just going over there. You're right. Seriously, what do you want to go for lunch? Go to Kansas City. I think they're going to be sending an empty tube back and forth because they're going to realize. Yeah.

It's like at the bank. Now, this is arrogance. You're just trying to say that it's two hillbilly towns is what you're saying. No, no. I'm on board a hillbilly town. I'm saying, but I can't imagine you need the back and forth between St. Louis and Kansas City. I can't imagine much business there.

is being like, we got to get to Kansas City tomorrow. There's a brewery? Right now. You got the brewery in St. Louis? Yeah, yeah. You got T-Mobile over there in Kansas City. Hallmark? Hallmark is in Kansas City. Why do they need to go to St. Louis? Huh? Why do they need to go to St. Louis? To?

To the brewery? Go up in the arch? This is like uptown in New York where it's like uptown, midtown. I think St. Louis and Kansas City don't even really like each other. They don't. Okay. A lot over that Dinkager thing. Show me series, right? Yeah. So then what are we even doing? This is going to help end that. I did it. Oh, you're trying to help end it. Yeah, you can bring people together. Yeah, that's what it's about. It's your neighbors now. You're not going to hate each other. I feel like you come out of that tube and your hair is just like back. Morty! Yeah.

You're just like a mess. You come out and you're like, oh, what was that? Something's a little off about you. You can't sit down that day. You go, I don't know, dude. Your mouth tastes like. I honestly just thought of the barbecue thing. I would be like, what do you want to go for lunch? Let's go to Kansas City and get some barbecue. We'll be back in an hour. If you could go anywhere in the United States in under 30 minutes, how often would you leave the city where you live?

Oh, I would go. Every day, would you go somewhere? Well, if I was younger, it's your age. It's going to be... But even now, I'd go to... You're saying any city? You can go anywhere. You wouldn't go to Seattle for lunch once a day? Maybe, but there's places 30 minutes away now. I don't go every day. That's what I'm saying. Can you imagine what you're... You guys, everybody in this room is a road comic. Do you think how cool that would be? Yeah. It'd be sweet. It'd be sweet. I'm going to go to New York and do a couple spots tonight, and then I'm going to come back to St. Louis. Yeah, yeah.

For that, absolutely. That's going to be amazing for that scene. Those scenes would explode because you're like, you get two cities. Yes. I agree with the scene. But it would be like, you would be like, I know the New York Times would be like, I mean, these guys aren't even from, they don't live here. They don't belong here. They're just coming in on the Hyperloop every day. Just come out of the Hyperloop. Y'all got to go do a set. You're like, it's like, it's all like, you come out of it like.

And you got to be in front of people and just, hey, I just got that hyper mood. That's how I picture all that's coming out. Just a mess. Just an absolute mess. It'd be like they give you the Pringles chips. That's the lunch they have. And you're just like, I don't know. Some guy gave it to me. Has he handed it to you? He's like...

they're shaking and you're like ah thanks man there'd be like a whole uh genre of like jokes about the hyperloop that you know yeah you know when you get on the hyperloop yeah golly yeah yeah man that would be awesome though yeah it'd be sweet all right uh all right uh that's it

This is it. Oh, head backwards. It looks like you just got off the iPhone. Yeah, I did. I just got off it and I do a podcast because God, dude, what day is it?

All right. That's it. Uh, I'm, I'll be in Europe, uh, London, London, I think sold out. Amsterdam is close to sold out. Dublin, probably close to sold out. Oslo, you know, we, we could, if you, if you know someone in Oslo, give them a, give them a shout. We're doing pretty good. I think it'd be like 300, 400 people or something like that. That's great. Yeah, it's great. Yeah. Uh, and then, uh,

Belgium too. But they're both, it's all going to be great. The people will be there. Wow. That's amazing. And so I look forward to meeting you guys out there. It's going to be very cool. And I'm honored to get to come to your land. So I'll be there. I'm home this week, but I do want to mention a lot of people in Bristol did not know this. April 14th, I'm going to be in Johnson City and I'm bringing Nate and Aaron with me and Dusty. Mm-hmm.

So April 14th, Johnson City. A lot of people don't know that we're all doing that show as well. Yeah. Yeah. It's the same weekend as the Bridgestone show. The night before. The night before. Wow. Johnson City. Yeah. Yeah. This weekend, I'm in Lowell, Arkansas. Oh, man. The Europe of the United States. That place is great. Lowell is awesome. The Grove. The Grove Comedy Club. I'm going to be there Friday and Saturday. It's really exciting. And then next week,

I'm here in Nashville at Zany's headlining Wednesday night. And then I'm in St. Louis. You're stomping grounds next weekend too at the helium there. So come on out next weekend. You're in St. Louis. Yeah. Are you there next weekend? I think I'm going to the, uh, this like is coming or yeah, we probably do this after. Oh yeah. Sorry guys. Screwed up the whole time. Yeah. Where are you at? Um, I'm going to be in, uh,

I'm doing like private stuff. I'm going to be, I'm going to be a Dr. Grins in Grand Rapids in a couple of weeks. That's a great. Yeah. Yeah. Well, go check Greg's website out and see all his dates. And yeah, special come out in April. Yeah. It's going to be awesome. It looks great. Yeah. Thanks, man. It looks great. All right. Well, we love you as always. And we will talk to you next week. All right. See you. Bye. Bye.

Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetze, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.