229: #229 Acting featuring Jon Reep
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Hello, folks, and hey, Bear. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargettzi, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber here. Dusty's not here, so we got basically the exact same. All right. Yeah. I'm having a great time. John Reap. Oh, took it up a notch. I'm taking it up. I'm having a great time. Yeah. It was equal trade. Yeah. No team got better. They're just... It's a lateral move. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No, we're excited, as always, to have our boy John Reap with us. Dusty was out last week because he wanted to see Wicked. Yeah. He liked it so much, he's there again today. That's right. Really? Really? The movie? No. No, no, no. Yeah. He's not on board with it. Yeah. No.

Uh, so let me just get the Nate land news kind of out. Uh, my tour is announced. Uh, dates are announced for 2025. Go to neighbor gets it. I come and sign up for updates. Pre-sale for shows is today at 10 AM local time with code eyes. E Y E S all shows go on sale to the public December 6th. Get in early with that pre-sale code. Uh,

And I'm going to be coming. There's more, you know. So the shows that you see are what's for 25, and then we'll have 26, too, to come out. So if you don't see this town, it will be 26. Also recording Mike Vecchione's next hour special in Nashville, December 28th. Tickets available for that. Dustin Chafin will be here on December 8th. And then, you know, the Consumers Every Tuesday podcast and Don't Make Me Come Back There every Thursday. All right.

so you didn't even say the name of your tour big dumb eyes big dumb eyes i love the name yeah what's that about uh like all caps the the letter i just all caps yeah yes you like the lowercase eyes better yeah big dumb it was the title of my book and then it's the title of that of the tour so uh and having to come up with another tour name that's like

It's like when it's time, it's like we need another tour name. You're like, I don't know, man. You just saw the book? Yeah. I go, what's this book? I didn't know. I go, what's this book? I keep getting shown. No. I've been doing it. I've been doing the book the past couple. I wrote yesterday, 12 to 9 p.m. Wow. Wow. On a laptop. I think I ain't doing nothing. I was on the phone with part script, a script, and then the book.

So you're writing a book right now. Yeah. Big Dumb Eyes. Big Dumb Eyes. And then that's also going to be the name of the tour. Yeah. Got it. Was football on at all? Yeah, yeah. I just had the games on. Unbelievable weekend of football. I mean, it was so great. What a great time of year. College or pro or both? Both. Yeah. It's all great. Yeah. It was fun. Yeah. I watched Titans. I kind of want to watch their whole game.

You know, I bailed after a while and went to the Red Zone channel. Yeah. And then I did a little bit of the three screens, like the YouTube TV. Oh.

You have the two games, three games. I did a little bit of that because your Carolina game was good. Yeah. The Chiefs, yeah. Yeah, the Chiefs. Well, not the Chiefs. Oh, that was last week. I'm sure they were playing at the same time. It was like Carolina and them, the Rams, and the Eagles-Ravens. And so YouTube TV is the real deal. We went to the Vandy game. Nice. My brother was also there. We don't know where he was at in this photo. Yeah.

Brian looks very excited. Yeah, I was. Yeah, oh yeah. He loves it, man. And so he sent it out, I think, to his Facebook group. I did. Yeah, he sends a mailer out. Look at this, guys. It's a pre-sale code of you got to be over 50. It's an actual mail. I'm on there. I mail it to you. It's physical mail. It's physical mail. You get this picture. From 12 to 9 yesterday, licking stamps the whole time. Yeah.

So Michael Clay, John Crist, me, Bates, the Vanity Tennis game. Started off hot. Sure did. Started off, we were very excited. You got that other photo, Aaron?

Tennessee does feel like they're peaking at a good time. Yeah, so this is fun. This is the opening kickoff. Opening kickoff. We are in the top. There's like a balcony above that 40 clock. Can you spot us, Aaron? You can't zoom in. You got to zoom all the way back out. Yeah. We're at the very top. Oh, at the very top? Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah.

There we are. So that's Michael all the way to the left. That's me and Bates. Our hands are up. John, Chris, Felix, neighbor Felix, and Derek. Derek's not even looking at the play. Yeah. Derek was looking at us. He's like, why are y'all laughing at me? Was this a kickoff return for a touchdown? First opening kickoff. Oh, man. That's the best. Opening kickoff.

Then we get a turnover, get a field goal. Yeah. And I'm thinking that we were a 17 to nothing. It was 14, nothing. It was 14, nothing. Then we got, yeah. Yeah. 14, nothing. Like within the first eight, five minutes, 14, nothing. And we're like, here we go. And, uh,

But, I mean, yeah, Tennessee just really looks like they're kind of all coming together. They're the real deal. They're coming, yeah. I actually thought that because the way they just kind of came back was like, all right, this is – they're a very, very good team, obviously. So didn't Vanderbilt just upset somebody not long ago? Alabama. Alabama. That's – okay, that's what I was thinking. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was great. Yeah, that was great. This would have been nice, but no. No. He was –

Busy in New York hosting SNL. Oh, that's true. I host SNL. Well, priorities. I have to tell, you know, I get asked that all the time. And like, you know, sometimes I will say just no, I wasn't at the game.

but I mean, so many times I was like, did you go to that Vandy Alabama game? And I was like, I was doing SNL that night. And they're like, Whoa, you're like, yeah, but you're making me answer. Right. Like, I will start going. I'll just be like, no, I didn't get to go. Yeah. I didn't get a chance. I was watching it though. Yeah. I watched it. I don't go to all of them guys. I don't go all to them. Yeah. Yeah. I can't go to every game. Yeah. Sometimes you got to host SNL. Yeah. Uh,

That's what I tell him. That's right. Sometimes you've got to quarterback an American institution. Yeah. But, yeah, I wish I could be there. I wish I had the downtime like you did. That's what I say to the person. Right. Who's probably very busy and has – Must be nice. No, I wished. I wished. And I was working. Yeah. But you went to, what, four out of the six home games? I went to four out of the six home games. Oh, that's good. So I don't ever really get to go to games, but this was a year that I got to go. And what a year to go to. Opened it up with Virginia Tech.

South Carolina, Texas, and Tennessee. You saw the other three losses, but big, big games. What was the final score of this game? It doesn't matter. It started off good. 31? Was it 36-23? Yeah, yeah, 36-23. Oh, that's not too bad. No, no, no. No. It wasn't close. Vandy's not getting blown out anymore, man. They're a different Vanderbilt. Yeah. I think...

People are having to come and be ready to place. Right. And that's what it was. Is this guy wearing a half shirt? Yep. Okay. That used to be the move, dude. We're bringing it back. I know that was an 80s thing. It was cold, too. It wasn't cold. We got cold here in Nashville. If I had abs, I would wear every shirt like that. Yeah.

You do have abs. I'm just saying. If you can see your abs. You're right. I understand. Let's move the goalposts a bit. I've had a garage. I can park it. Well, you just got stuff in the garage. You do have a garage. It's there. It's just you have all your stuff in it. That's why. You can't access it. Your car is just parked in the driveway because your garage is full of stuff. Right. You can pull that car in the garage. Yeah. Yeah.

Is he the only one wearing the half shirt? I saw another guy. Because I'm noticing Tennessee guys. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, okay. That was a big 80s move. And they had... Back when they had the jerseys that were like the mesh, the holes were bigger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember that? Yeah. And now I'm noticing the...

The new trend of not wearing any kind of pads. On your knees. On your knees. They're pulling them up all the way up. Yeah, they pull them up and then they do them on their thighs. But yeah, that's kind of gone away too. Because you see quarterbacks and it's kind of a free-for-all out there.

Now I can do whatever I want. And they're getting hurt left and right. Yeah. And they go down. They go down hard. They're dropping like flies out here. Would you wear one of those things on your helmet? Like that little... Oh, yeah. I probably would. Yeah. It looks so bad. It does look bad. Yeah. There's a guy that came last night for the 49ers. Yeah. Off his alignment. It looks like a joke. It looks like they're wearing a do-rag on their helmet. Yeah. And I can't imagine what that really does. Right. It can't do that. Like there's...

I bet the first guy to wear a face mask felt like that too. You know what I mean? No, you at least know what that does. This is an added on. Maybe the first guy that did double face mask. Or a visor. Yeah. Or a visor. But it's, you know, because it's like, man, football, they go down. Every game, someone goes down and they don't move. Right. Yeah. And it's like, before, I don't remember them not moving like that. I don't know if it was just you're not aware of it. No.

Yeah, Trevor Lawrence did the fencer's pose. Oh, no. Yeah, with the arm out and everything. Yeah, it's terrifying. Yeah. Why not add a little extra cushion, a little piece of a mattress? I know, but it's me. It's also like, I was thinking about this weekend. What if you had something that was connected? Because it feels like it's when your head goes down. So if you had something...

Like it went from your helmet down to your shoulders and you wore it around your neck. Which just locked your head in place? Like NASCAR. Like NASCAR. NASCAR does that. And then it just doesn't, like your neck can't really give in. There just needs to be some, like I don't, if you're just an outsider, it looks like they're going backwards. Yeah. It looks like, well, we had a problem. Yeah. How are we going to fix it? More people are going to go down. More people don't know where they're at. And you know.

They need the whole cage, like a roll bar like NASCAR does. Isn't the solution to take away all the helmets? That seems to be the only solution, but then it feels like a different game, doesn't it? It would be a bad one or two years for sure. You wouldn't want to be in those first two years. There's a learning curve. Yeah, you're coming year three on that. I'll tell you what, if you're going to take the helmets away, yeah, you want to be about four years old right now so you can dig into it. Maybe not born. You might not want to be born yet. They should take the helmets away.

I would love to see it. They already have a throwback weekend where they wear old uniforms. They should play with no helmets and see what – Just do the old equipment as well. Yeah. You know, the leather helmets? Yeah. I'd love to see that. Yeah, just something –

Yeah, or do you know how much? You get to see your face now. Yeah. And you get beat up. I mean, you get like... You would learn how to tackle differently. Yeah. You have to. That's the whole point. Yeah, it's like you have to tackle like rugby players. I mean, some... Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You just get your ears ripped off. Look like Greg Warren. Yeah, that's what it would be. Yeah. That's true. Well, maybe that's what they need to wear is just the wrestler's outfits. Mm-hmm. You know? Okay.

Come out there with those little earpieces on. Yeah. Just that. Yeah, singlets. You want less clothes. And singlets. Yeah. I want like the lingerie bowl. Yeah, why are they all bundled up like that out there? Cool off a bit. I can't see nothing. I want to know who these boys are.

Notre Dame looks good. That's where we were. Notre Dame looks real good. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's going to be their year. Can't wait to lose. What was the... First round of the playoffs. What's the... Are they done this season? Maybe. Now we go to a bowl game. Now we have a bowl game. We have a bowl game. Okay. Six and six. Nice.

I think my NC State Wolfpack ended up around there. Beat Carolina. You had a big fight this weekend. I saw that. About seven different fights this weekend. Yeah, there was a lot of them. And that was a good one. Michigan had one, right? Ohio State, Michigan. It's a big rivalry, Carolina and State. And so, you know, that's going to happen, it seems like. And it was the last game of the year. Both teams were kind of exact same record. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know.

Oh, that's interesting. Whoever went to a bowl, maybe? I'm not sure. I think there might be a bowl game for one of those guys. Okay. Yeah. North Carolina just fired their coach. That's right. Mack Brown. Well, I think he – did he get fired or did he just say, like, I'm done? I thought they fired him. Yeah. He's old enough that that line's kind of blurred. Yeah.

He's out. We don't have to go into specifics, but he's gone. All right. I feel we should think about the people that don't watch football. Yeah. And we keep going more. We'll market football, and then they can skip forward. And they can skip. We said that last week, too. Yeah, we didn't do it. We didn't do it? I don't know. Yeah, we market. Always remember, you can skip forward on YouTube. We're the only podcast that promotes skipping parts of it.

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You were with me this weekend. Well, Saturday for a few hours. I can't imagine you had any other plans. Not the whole week. When did you, you got a Saturday. I ducked out for a few with you, Nate, but I've been. Yeah, what have you been up to? I was at home. But Thanksgiving Eve, I did my Brian Bates and Friends show here at the Lab of Zany. Sold out. Great time. John Chris came, did a set. It was a lot of fun.

And then spent Thanksgiving with my family. Oh, yeah. We had Thanksgiving. You hosted at your place? No. We've already moved on. Back to me. We went to Alabama and Lawrenceburg, Tennessee. Oh, you did both. Easier to drive tour. Yeah, I was on Bates. You're on my tour. You see Bates posters up there? I saw Bates posters. I saw a couple trucks with the...

You know, just their regular trucks. A lot of billboards, too. A lot of billboards. A lot of billboards. His billboards are the ones, they're on the trees. You know. Jesus saves. Brian Bates here. January 14th.

Yeah. He puts them on the side of the interstate, you know, where there's someone. Ten more miles to Brian Bates. Where there was an accident. Where there was an accident. He's just a little, he goes a little bit past that. Yeah. And then also goes Brian Bates. Sorry for your loss, but Brian Bates. Sorry for you. A horrible thing, but I will be here. Yeah. Uh,

Probably on a Wednesday. That's a good marketing strategy. Yeah, there's a good chance of that. Yeah. Yeah, which is bad because that's half my audience is go to church on Wednesday night. Oh, yeah. Wednesday night supper is a big deal. And other ones driving off the road. Yeah. So it's a mix. Okay, John, where were you? Yeah.

When? For Thanksgiving? This weekend or Thanksgiving. Oh, I was in Nashville this weekend. Here? Yes. Zany's. Zany's Comedy Club. Love it. Did one show Friday, one show Saturday, one show Sunday. Zany's, my favorite comedy club in the world. Yeah. And this whole lab thing is brand new to me. I wasn't here last time I was here. So I love that they got that going on now. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah. It's nice.

Zanies is great. It's just one of those rooms, you know, that's always electric. The crowds are always good. It's a good mix of different types of people. Were you performing here when it was still a smoking room? Oh, my gosh. I don't think so. Okay. That could have been, though. I was just curious how different it felt.

I mean, it's probably 2000. I think I went up when it was still smoking. I wouldn't say it was way later. I wouldn't have been headlining, but I don't think you would have been headlining. Well, when did they stop smoking? You would have been maybe featured. Way later than you think they did. Yeah, it'll be like 2007. Oh, then yes, definitely. I don't know if it's 2007 here, but it might be.

I just don't remember it being always smoky. Do you remember smoking? Yeah. Doing shows in smoke? Well, what comes out is the punchline in Atlanta, the one that was the barn. Yeah. I remember that being smoke-friendly. Yeah. And it was just, it would billow up like it'd make a cloud because it was like a barn. Yeah. And everybody smoked. It wasn't like three guys. It was like 40 people smoking. When everybody was smoking inside, I don't think you could ever imagine that they wouldn't smoke inside. You were just like...

It's just what it is. And then it just went away. And you're like, oh, it can go away. Yeah. And it was, yeah. I mean, you just do a show. I think I've talked about it. You'd have to bring, you would just almost have an outfit for the stage because it would just be. Oh, yeah. You'd come home and just smell like smoke. Oh, yeah. I would bring an outfit for, I'd have to bring, I'd pack, you'd have to pack more because I just didn't like that.

It smelled like a cigarette. Just secondhand, too. It just gets all over you. Yeah, it just gets all over you. Yeah, I don't care about anybody smoking. It's just like your clothes. That's why cigars are, you know, it's like your clothes are going to smell like it. Yeah. They call it thirdhand smoke. You got your firsthand smoke. Secondhand is just in the room. Thirdhand is in the clothes. Oh, really? Yeah. Are they really called that? In curtains and stuff. How deep does it go? I think it goes to seven. Yeah.

Like if you blow it in water and it boils up, that's the fourth one. Yeah. Wow. There's also like a mist. Yeah. But no, I think three is as high as it goes. If you're on a plane where they just got done smoking. Right. Yeah. If you sit next to someone that smoked on a plane, that would be one. That's one. Yeah. Is that four or five? That's probably a little deeper. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I think if it's in the air, it's got to be one. Because I've been on airplanes that still have a place for the ashtray. Yeah, yeah. Have you seen those? It's crazy. They've welded it down, but it's still there. I can't believe you can smoke on an airplane. Yeah. I'm glad those days are over. Yeah.

You guys don't smoke. We do some, no. I go, yeah, we try to get after it. I used to smoke cigarettes here and there. I'm from North Carolina. It's the tobacco state. It's helped the economy. Exactly. Our state bird is a little tumor.

But it's great. So I don't do it anymore. And now when I see people smoking, I just, you know, it's like, why are you doing that? What is this? So we have your hot sauce. That is my barbecue sauce. Barbecue sauce. South in your mouth. John Reap, south in your mouth. Hickory Smokehouse barbecue sauce. That's a great name. So good, it'll make your head shake.

And it's a mix of three different Carolina styles of barbecue sauce. Mustard, vinegar, tomato base. It's really good. The guy, when I moved back home to Hickory about six years ago, there was this guy who has his own restaurant called Hickory Smokehouse. And he said, you need your own barbecue sauce. You talk about Hickory. I got the restaurant, Hickory Smokehouse. Let's work on something. So I bought a bottle for everybody. Oh, nice. Merry Christmas. Thank you so much. Good stocking stuffers.

Yeah, what do you recommend we put this on? I like that best on pulled pork. Amazing. Because it's not the thick, sweet kind like Texas. It's a little bit more runny. That's the vinegar part, and it soaks up real good in pulled pork.

Are you, when you make a barbecue sauce, like are you, how involved are you? I just tasted it. Yeah. So he called me up. He goes, come over to the house. He had all these different flavors and we just tasted different ones. And this, there's not one like this because it's a blend of three different ones. I like to picture you. Yeah. I need to do that. I need to make some photos where I'm in the lab. So they. That's very cool, man. Yeah. It's really good.

Are there plans for other, other things in this line? Yeah, they've got different ones already. If you go to the website, south in yarmouth.com, that

That was Lauren's idea. I said, that's fine. South in your mouth. I want to be the Paul Newman of barbecue sauce. Oh, yeah. Paul Newman was known for one thing, and all of a sudden, salad dressing. Yeah. I want to ease into this. Yeah, killed it with the salad dressing. Yeah. You give 100% of the proceeds to charity? 100% goes to me. No, actually, I don't even get 100%. I get maybe 30% because it's Lauren's thing. He spends all the money. I just said, you can use my face. But it is really good.

And there's different ones. We have a hot sauce, too. So you want to be the Aunt Jemima of barbecue sauce? We could go that way. Yeah, sure. But I want to stay on the bottle. They took her face off. I don't mind staying on the bottle. One might come back around, though. Could be. You'd be long gone, but they might be one day like, Reef, you can't have his face on the bottle.

And they'll be like, well, you know, it's – Here's a video of him saying, please leave it on. No matter where Cancel Courtra goes to, Reap would like to stay on. He wants to stay on. Yeah, that's going to be in my will. And I'd also like a little hologram. Yeah, yeah. He's like, I can't imagine any scenario where I would want my face off this barbecue sauce.

I would like to say that now. It says it right here. So good. It'll make your head shake. My head needs to be on here. Your head. Yeah. Otherwise, it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. I like it. But it's really good. Yeah. Congratulations. Thanks. Yeah. That's awesome. I'm loving it. Yeah. Aaron?

I hosted Thanksgiving at my house this weekend. Oh, really? Had my family and Lucy's family both there. Yeah, and I was thinking that does not happen very often. Yeah. It's like the wedding. It's the baby. I was trying... It's the baby brought everybody together. We just couldn't travel this year, so... Don't get high on yourself. No, no, no. You know where it's coming from. 100%. You know who's selling the tickets? But...

She was the star of the show. That's for sure. But I was just thinking growing up, I was like, my mom's family and my dad's family were never in the same place. So it felt, it was like since the wedding. It's nice. Like my father-in-law and my spouse.

brother had never hung out. Did they like each other? They'd get along great. I thought about that this weekend. I thought I would like to do it and just be like, there is no more. We're going everywhere. It's like, everybody comes. You're the epicenter of it. Come to me. Everybody come here. I mean, yes. Hey, it's nice to have everybody come here. But it's also just to be like, yeah, just have more people around. Everybody's essentially family. All around the old Nate Land set. Gather around there.

We just did that at my house, too. So I want to be the epicenter. So I had people come to my house as well for the second time in a row because I just bought this house. And it's the better house for everyone to come. There's more room. That's the thing. You got to have – it has to be like obviously we need to go there. Yes. It's an obvious choice. There's more room for people, you know.

And did you cook at your... No, I outsourced. So my mom, my mother-in-law, they brought food. Okay. And they were like, you're responsible for the meat. So I got Martin's Barbecue here in Nashville. I got so much stuff. And it like...

I thought it was the right amount. And then when it's right in front of you, you're like, this is absurd how much I got. Half of it's in our freezer. We're just going to eat it. You need to get Laura. You need to get Laura to take a look. Laura will not order anything more. To find the right amount? I would go order like you.

But then you need to get her to go just tell her how many people are coming and she's going to order just she is actually very good at ordering the exact amount. I don't like it. Yeah. Because I want it to be extra. I don't want to worry about it. Yes. She's I will say I would never say this to her, but she is right. Usually.

And she nails it. That's just efficiency. That's good. It is. But it's the, I'm like, just order the most. That's what I do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Better not have too much and not enough. We cut the brisket in half. That's in the freezer. All the ribs are in the freezer. We got pulled pork in the freezer. That's great. Now you got some. I'm good for a while. You got some barbecue sauce. I got some barbecue sauce to put on the pork. Spice it up a little. It's crazy. Just dip those ribs right in that bottle. We did a Cracker Barrel Thanksgiving this year.

Oh, you went there? No, you just call them up or go on the website and you order a Thanksgiving feast. Yeah. And they'll have it ready. You can easily just drive up and text them you're there and they'll come out and put it in your car. Oh, nice. And you just basically reheat all the stuff for about an hour. Awesome. So an hour. Yeah. Yeah, well, the turkey, you get these two gigantic turkey breasts. So it's not even a full turkey, just two gigantic breasts.

And whatever sides that you want. Yeah. And it tells you how long to heat which thing, but the whole thing takes about an hour. Yeah. Why did that number hit you weird? It seems like a long time. If you bought it at the store. I thought you just went and picked it up and came home and ate it. Yeah. Well, you pick it up and then you tell your family an hour from now. I think you probably could do that if you, you know. There's probably that as well. Yeah. Yeah.

This makes me feel like I'm actually cooking, though. It feels like I'm doing stuff. Throw away all the Cracker Barrel bags and just have it. No one knows. No one knows. This is delicious. You got to like cooking. It is. I wonder if cooking, it does. I need to. I should learn because it's one of it does go away. You know, it's like you can see as older people. We, you know, our family, there's a lot of Laura's family, a lot of a lot of everybody's getting a little bit older. And it's just like as people get older, it's like,

You know, it's just a whole thing to cook. And so you can see that. And then the younger go to your house, you're going to Cracker Barrel. If I had to do it, I would have to go somewhere and you would, you know, and so it's like, we're eating out. Like everybody eats out more now. Yeah. Be door dashing Thanksgiving. Yeah, man. I was this weekend, dude.

on door to door dash. Oh, I love it. I love it. I got whatever my SNL set where I have a door desk stuff. I got a few more minutes added is, I mean, that's why I'm talking to someone better. I've admitted, but yeah, I've mentioned in the better, if you don't know the better help ad, but I haven't talked to someone about food cause it's a problem. Oh wow. It's a big, I have a, yeah, I can't, you know, it's like frustrating cause it's like, I can't figure it out. Like it's, it's the one thing that I can't, uh,

I like trying to solve something. So like even career-wise, I love the idea of like, all right, let's solve this thing. And with your food, it's the one that I'm like, why can I not...

You know, I had a slushie from Sonic last night. I'm having stuff that people don't even know is around. Right. Somebody's got to save the slushie. Yeah. Is it the slushie with, like, nerds in it and stuff? No, they didn't have that. I would have. That's what I wanted, but they didn't have it. I had a... I mean, I'm just... Yesterday was, like, three meals. Yeah. Because Laura's gone. I was sitting there working. It's so convenient. Yeah. And you do it, and you're just like, it's probably embarrassing. Do you, like... Is one of the problems...

Eating at night or... Yeah, yeah. Eating at night, but then it's just, you know, I'm not going to... I don't go there and... I'm not reasonable on the DoorDash app. Right, yeah. Have you ever looked through the history on the app? No. And you can see, like, the pictures that they've taken, the driver. I look...

I saw something online about it. I looked through, and there's like three pictures where they're taking it, and you see me behind the door just like waiting. Oh, man. Just wait. I'm waiting until they leave. Oh, that's funny. That's a good series. You're standing that close to the door? Oh, yeah. Just waiting? How? Because you're tracking them, right? Because you can see? Well, there's one where I'm looking through the blinds, and then there's one where I... You guys...

You got to post these pictures. You got to post these. I posted one of them at one point where I actually opened the door and the guy was like, I got to take a picture. So the picture is like him handing it to me. Because they have to take a picture. Right. To confirm that it got the list. So you're basically photobombing all your DoorDashers. Yep. Pictures. That's great. That's awesome. Well, the one where they see you to the blind. I mean, those are. I got to get one of the bushes. I'll go post it because I have it somewhere. I was just looking at it.

I got to find it. Try and scare him. Get in the bushes. Come out of nowhere. I mean, just to see. They know you're there. They're like, sir, just come grab it. Leave it at the door. No one's home. There you go. Oh, did my wife order this again? I've door dashed. She's going on Lucy. We just got my baby a phone. She's already doing this. All right. I'll take it into her.

So you travel all the time. Do you door dash like everywhere you go, different hotels? Not in the hotel. I won't do it. If I did it in a hotel, I would have Travis go pick it up because I would be too embarrassed. Okay. I would... A hotel is... I do it in hotels all the time. No, I know. Travis will go get it. Travis does it. Chase. If I have someone on the road, they can usually go pick it up and they'll go grab it down there because I would be just meeting the guy down. Like, it's just...

I get him because you're just like, I look like an animal. Well, they're supposed to bring it door dash to your door, but some of them don't like getting out of the car, getting on the elevator, going to the fifth floor to go to your room. That's where I, for some reason, draw the line there. That feels like...

A little extra work. But if you add a little extra tip. No, no, no. But that feels like across the line. How lazy am I to bring it to my hotel? That's like bringing it to your bedroom in your house. The whole deal. All go down to the lobby. They bring it to you. I know.

I know. Do you wait in the lobby or try to meet them out front? I'll wait in the lobby. I'll be there. Oh, you just sit there and let them come in. I'll wait in the lobby and come in and I go, Aaron? Yeah. And they know. I'll go lobby if I have to, but if I don't have to, I'd rather you just bring it on up. This is the whole idea of DoorDash. You don't have to leave this room. You say the door's open. Door's open. Come on in, man. Get your plate.

Yeah, he goes, I'm down in the lobby. That seems like a you problem because I'm in my room. This says DoorDash, not LobbyDash. LobbyDash is a different service. Lobby is a different service. Yeah. I mean, I feel like is DoorDash swallowing up Uber Eats too? Like Uber Eats is. I still primarily use Uber Eats. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. It's just a function of what you have in your area. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I've done it before because, you know, you travel to different hotels. I forgot to switch the address. Yeah. And I've ordered some stuff. I go, oh, they got sushi here? Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're in Omaha. Yeah. And then it doesn't even go to the right place. I'm like, oh, no.

I forgot to put the... And so the sushi just gets delivered to you. Somebody else gets sushi in California, I guess. Yeah. What if the last hotel was? Yeah. So they just get... Is there a John Reap staying here? I bet. I'm looking. I see the picture. This does not look like the hotel I'm in. I'm like, oh, that's right. So probably don't take Ambien before you DoorDash. Oh, yeah. That's the problem. I've done that before. Take Ambien 5 p.m.?

You go ahead and get it in. Well, see, that's one of my problems. I eat late at night. I do too. Yeah. So it's around 9 or 10 p.m. where I'm ambien and eating. You want to start sleeping before you. Yeah. Well, the ambien gets you in the mood to eat. Yeah. It makes you more hungry. My body wouldn't even know what it's like to sleep on an empty stomach. I mean, it would. It helps you sleep. Yeah. I mean, I go – my body during bed is – it's –

All hands are on deck when I lay in that bed. There's no resting. I mean, my brain's going because I just had a slushie on the couch, and now I'm in bed. And I can go to sleep sometimes. See, that's what's crazy. You get used to it. So you're saying you like to eat before you go to bed to help put you to sleep? I will sometimes, yes. But I'll eat dessert. I'll eat all kinds. I mean, it's just absurd. But I'm trying to now –

write down like before I like today, I already wrote down what I'm going to eat and where. So I'm not surprised by anything. Yeah. Because when I get surprised is when, you know, when I'm, or if I'm like, well, I don't know what I'm going to do tonight. And I start panicking. Then I'm like, well, then I'm going to go to Burger King right here. Yeah. And so if I write down like Laura's cooking some tonight, I'm like, all right, I got, I wrote down what I had for breakfast. And I kind of, if I can plan it, then I'm, I can be kind of okay. I can wrap my head around. All right.

Or do you try to like, after you eat, like on a five or six, do you like, okay, well, I'm going to try and be in bed by this time? No, not that far. Then this is day one. Still journaling. Check back in a week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's there. I do know how my night will end. I'll have Laurel make something.

And then I have the Yossi yogurt things. I think they're called Yossi. I don't remember. But it's like a yogurt ice cream kind of thing. And so I'm going to have that. And so I'm just wrapping my head around it. That's what I'm having. I won't have two of them. I won't have – I just – you're going to have one. I can decide when I want that one. Yeah, yeah. As long as I feel like there's an outlet where it doesn't feel like it's shut down. So I will know, and I'll put it all on my fitness pile. Okay. Yeah.

Do you try to go to bed at a certain time, though? No. It's always different, right? It's too sporadic. But I'm trying to get on a routine to wake up earlier. Okay. Today, I want to start waking up at 8 would be nice. I get up at 9. I kind of wake up at 9 and kind of get slow to get moving. But as I can see is where stuff is all going. If you shoot a movie, I think you got to get up early. So it's like everything will be flipped. So I need to just get on some kind of –

You get more stuff done in the morning. Yeah, definitely. If I can look at everything and kind of go through everything before you really get brought in and talked to. It's nice to ease into the day and not feel like, oh, I got up late. Now I'm going to rush to do all this other stuff. And then you're just getting asked questions, and then it's like the day's already kind of going. Yeah. I have a problem going to sleep. I don't like –

going to sleep. I don't like the nighttime. Go brush your teeth. Go pee first. I don't like that whole thing. I feel like my mom and dad still yelling at me in my head. So I don't like planning the sleep. I just want to go to sleep when I'm tired, which is hard to do. I'm not always tired. And so that's where the ambient kicks in. That helps me get out of sleep. But then I also, in the morning, I hate getting up.

I do too. So I don't like going to sleep. I don't like getting out of sleep. I want to stay in both states as long as possible. Well, you're so warm in the morning. But it's like you got to just get up. I mean, this morning I laid in bed for – I mean, I can lay there for an hour. Like, you know, I might like do some stuff on my phone or, you know, whatever. But, yeah, it's like you're kind of just – it's not a – it's a –

It's so nice and comfortable when you get in there. I'm trying to get better at wanting to go to sleep. So, you know, being excited about. Right. Laura, my wife, loves going to sleep. Loves it. Can't wait till they go to sleep. I'm always like, I want to be like, I still got stuff to do. I like to watch, you know, still watch like documentaries. Yeah, yeah. I watched Charlie Chaplin movie last night.

Which one? Robert Downey Jr.? Yeah, Robert Downey Jr. Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought you meant A. Charlie, like a silent film. No, I was trying to get into... Charlie Chaplin, you know, he started his own studio. We should do an episode on Charlie Chaplin. Or the silent... Did we ever do one of those? Yeah, we're doing silent movies. I'll save it. Look at that. That's fun. That's fun. Won't talk during it. Let's play one now. Do a silent podcast. Yeah. Right.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. The holidays are here, one of my favorite times of the year. Get a hot chocolate, watch the movies, saying I love all of it. I know it can come with a lot of stress, you know, for the moms, dads. You know, dads are putting the stuff together late at night.

Moms are having to do the whole month's probably a nightmare. It's a lot. It's a lot to do. Go to therapy. I've actually been talking to someone because I have a food problem. I really have a big food problem. So I've really been talking to them and trying to journal. I've got to write down what my food is.

Cause I have a problem. So it's like, all right, well, how do you spell McDonald's? Uh, but I honestly have had like, it's really, it has really helped. Uh, cause I just can write it down, talk it out. I I'm not good with food and, uh, I usually go to the worst thing and I want to eat it. So I've been talking to someone as well. It's, uh, it's great to get that, you know, you gotta get this stuff off your chest. Uh,

If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It is entirely online, so it's to your schedule. You can do it whenever you want. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash nate today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash nate.

Comments from you guys. We'll start with, start with you guys. Comments. Jason White. Great episode. I love the Nickerson's and love when they join in with Nate land. It's nice to hear different perspectives. B,

being debated with good humor and mutual respect from people who seem to actually enjoy each other's companies. Well, at least I'm glad it looks like that. It got pretty heated once the cameras turned off. Jason White, Heisman Trophy winner. Remember him? Oklahoma. Could be him. Could be him. Oh, wow. Was it Oklahoma? Jason White, yeah, Oklahoma. One of the lesser known Heisman winners, I feel like. I'd say, yeah. He was like 38 when he won or something. He was old looking. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's one of those. Yeah.

What year was that? 2002, 2003. Yeah, he's like a guy that could come out, like you could meet him and he'd like, they're like, could you surprise me? And he's like, I could surprise you. And then he shows you a Heisman and you're like, get out. You won the Heisman? Did they win the national championship? No, isn't that the year they got blown out by USC? Did he play for the Giants? He played a little bit. Maybe. He didn't do much in the NFL. Paul Goodness. That's a good last name. That's a good one.

I was listening to the latest episode about road trips as I was on a road trip.

I'd use the bathroom just as I was struggling on a rural New York route. They talked about that app, Flush Toilet Finder. At the next stoplight, I downloaded the app and took a right to stop at a convenience store that was listed on the app. I love this podcast. Incredible. Wow, is that a real thing? Yeah. I got to get that. Yeah, yeah. And I love that it worked out for Paul like that. That's why I even would do a podcast is just to work out that perfectly for someone. I love that. That is amazing. I didn't even know that existed.

Yeah, we found out last week or whenever we did it. Goodness is an all-time last name. Paul Goodness. Mr. Goodness. And a great first name. The Goodness family, Paul Goodness? Paul Goodness. Does it have that name? The first name shouldn't be too complicated because the last name's so good. It's like, I'll let the last name speak for itself. And Paul's already a solid name, so it's Paul Goodness. I mean, it's...

Yeah, Paul Goodness. Wow. I mean, if it was like Jerry Goodness, that's not even as fun. A little too much. Paul Goodness. It needs to be one syllable. Yeah. Paul Goodness. Maybe a Bob, but like Paul's perfect. Bob Goodness would be good, but Paul Goodness is, I think, the best of the Goodnesses. So I would be curious to see what other Goodnesses, their first names. Brian Goodness is not bad. Yeah, one syllable name, John. Aaron Goodness. Nate Goodness. Nate Goodness. Nate Goodness. Nate Goodness.

What about Dusty Goodness? Because he says good time a lot. Yeah, Dusty Goodness. We're having a goodness. His wife's Asian. My goodness. He can't be doing stuff like that. Wait, I liked it. Yeah, I know. I liked it too. Is her name Mai? Is an Asian named Mai? Yeah, sure. I don't know.

I bet we can find one. Yeah, we would find one. There's a lot of Asians. My goodness. That would be great. Married into that. They would have fun with that. Paul, my – I hope his wife's named Ma. That would be great. Paul, my goodness. And then someone else named Gracious. Goodness, Gracious. Yeah, Goodness, Gracious. Henry Cho is a bit about the father of one of his daughter's friends. His name is Me. Another. Who's on first kind of situation. Yeah, exactly. Who's that? Me. Who's him? Me.

Yes. That's great. That's what I'm trying to say. David Womack. My wife and I are road tripping from middle Tennessee to the far side of North Carolina. This was the perfect topic. When we finished the episode, my wife said, I think I'm dumber now than when we started. That's her way of saying great job. Keep up the good, the great work. Yeah, that's our goal. Hope you be, you just got more information that doesn't really matter, but it will come later.

There are plenty. If you're looking to learn, there are plenty of other options. We tell you to go to them. Yeah, go check them out. Carolina Reaper. You'll be back. Yeah, go to Carolina Reaper. That's a good one. There you go.

Well, I have another one called AI where we talk about artificial intelligence. Oh. Let's see. Because I feel like I have artificial intelligence. Yeah. Like that's what I have. Yeah, that's funny. My intelligence is not real. Yeah, yeah. It's artificial. That's funny. I think a lot of people have artificial intelligence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my podcast is called AI, Absolute Ignorance. Yeah. And yeah, we troll chat GPT and stuff like that. So this would be good for that guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Aaron Ward Mahajan. Mahajan.

Aaron sounds like that family didn't approve of that marriage. That's right. Well, we'll just have to settle for both of them. She hyphenated it out of spite. I don't even know. I think I even meant the other way. The Mahajan family was like, you're marrying Aaron Ward? You're like, come on.

My husband and I just moved from South Carolina to Asheville, North Carolina.

It took us four days to travel 2,300 miles with an old and loud 15-foot U-Haul. We practically had to yell over the noise and talk to each other. So for long stretches, we opted for re-listening to Nate Land from the first episode. As we entered the Nashville traffic, my husband yelled out, hello, folks, and goodbye, folks, as we left the city. I love it. That's great. That's great. Stop by and say hi next time. Yeah. Yeah, at your house. Yeah.

Where are you going to meet them? Bates will meet them. We would have the wards, not the Mahajans. My Paul goodness. We'd have the wards for Thanksgiving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jake McCleary. My dad once picked up a hitchhiker on the way home from work. The hitchhiker asked my dad to drop her off at a Denny's that was close to her house.

Later that night, my dad got a knock on his door from the police. Apparently this girl had just caused an accident, was fleeing the scene of the crime, and the police thought my dad was an accomplice who helped her escape. Which he technically was. He was. He did. Without knowing. Without knowing. You picked up a...

Hitchhiker? No, but I've seen them and I've thought about it. Is it because you look like one? Yes. That guy needs to pick me up. Yeah. I'm the one who needs help here. He goes, well, sir, you can't pick yourself up. I pulled over one time and I rolled the window down to help a guy, and I was going to ask him if he needed a ride, and he just yelled at me, that thing got a hammy, and then I got mad and left. Oh, really? Yeah. This guy's trolling me. Yeah.

He's like, he was waiting for you to come. Yeah, he saw me coming. He goes, I heard John Reed uses this road all the time. I go, it'll work out. He's been sitting there for... I know his routine. Yeah, he's been following. Yeah, I mean, I bet a lot of comics, Southern comics would have picked up because they just drive back in the day. Like, they would have picked up a ton of hitchhikers. They'd have opened for them. Yeah.

Don't come to the show? Kim Berg. As a kid, our family traveled from southeast Kansas to Denver. It was a 12-hour drive with us. Kids in the bed of a pickup with a topper on it in July. Wow.

It was a 12-hour drive with us kids in the bed of a pickup with a topper on it. Man. My dad did that. Really? Now talk about this. Yeah. It snowed real bad one year in Hickory, half an inch. And dad was like, let's go sledding. But he wanted to drive us to the Appalachian Mountains. That's like an hour. Yeah. Driving us in the snow, in the bed of a truck, four kids, four

up a windy hill, but it had the shell on it, like a little camper shell. And to keep us warm, he did this. It was a kerosene heater back there. Oh. So we had a kerosene heater. These four kids sitting around this kerosene heater. That's unbelievable. Going up the mountains on a snowy road. Was it awesome, though, as a kid? It was awesome, 100%. Yeah. It was great. And the kerosene heater was probably moving all over the place. Yeah, it was. It was. You had to put your foot and kind of push it back the other side. Oh, yeah.

But it was a great time. Yeah. When I remember of it, I was kind of high a little bit. Yeah. A lot of kerosene. Yeah, locked in with kerosene. Yeah. I mean, I love kerosene now. Yeah. But no, it's, yeah, you could not get away with stuff like that today. You know, putting kids in the back of a truck and just riding around. Someone would call the cops and go, there's. Well, if you have the thing closed. Is it street legal in Tennessee to ride with somebody in the back of your pickup truck? I don't know.

It used to happen all the time. And no one thought twice about it. Oh, yeah. I mean, it used to be. A few times growing up. Yeah, you would sit on the tire, you know, like in the thing that goes on the tire. Yeah. Which is kind of crazy. You're sitting halfway up. You're going 45, 50 down the road. And you're not like all the way down. You're halfway. You're like sitting halfway where if it's a big. But, you know, people didn't fall out.

It's like you just have them going and you just sliding all over. Yeah, I've rode in a lot of back of trucks. I mean, it wasn't, it was like, can we ride in the back of the truck? That's where you wanted to be. Yes. I think kids still want to be. I think they do. But it's, yeah. You ever been like in a car trapped behind the truck and there's a guy sitting, there's just one person in the back and they're like facing you and you're having to make this weird sort of like, I don't want to look at you, but I have to look ahead to drive. And so you're kind of like, they don't know what to do with your face. Yeah.

Well, this person, so their dad bought this thing called a boot that went between the topper and the cab of the truck to funnel AC to the back. Oh, wow. A 12-hour drive is wild. I mean, I hope they put a mattress or something back there, at least, you know.

A hard bed of hours is a very long time. A hard bed? 12 hours, dude. That's torture. That's, yeah. They do that in Guantanamo Bay, I think. Yeah. They just put people in the back of a truck and drive around for 12 hours. In July? I mean, you know the bed of that truck is so hot. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, right in Kansas. I bet when you, yeah, and then you're ending in Denver. That's where you'd want to start because you'd at least be up in the, probably have some cool air. Karen Kurth. I hitchhiked from a town in Romania.

It was picked up by a couple. It seemed safe enough. Halfway in the middle of nowhere, I mean, halfway in the middle of nowhere, I think I like that as a saying. Oh, you like it better the way you said it? Yeah. Halfway in the middle of nowhere. You're fine with this? We're halfway in the middle of nowhere. It sounds like an Eagles song. Yeah, yeah. The driver screeched to a stop, hopped out of the car, and began to beat up a man on the side of the road. Oh, no.

When the beating was over, the driver returned and we continued to my town. I, a single older woman, said nothing during the ride. Yeah. Wow. Maybe that was the point of it. And he goes, this lady's probably going to talk me up a storm. So beat that dude up. Then he goes, I could say I don't want to talk, but he's like, I don't like confrontation.

So I'll just beat up this man on the side of the road, and I think that will set the tone for the rest. That's crazy. I want to know why. I'd be closing on that story for, you know, unbelievable. My dad, he said he was driving to Myrtle Beach. This was when he was a kid, like 19 or so. Him and his friends going to Myrtle Beach, spring break kind of thing, and they're all drinking and driving.

And they get pulled over by a cop. And my dad told his friends, I got it. Don't worry. I got this. My dad gets out, goes back to the squad car, starts cussing the cop out.

And his friends were freaking out, like, what are you doing? And he got back in the car, and they left, and it was my dad's brother. Like, he knew him. But if you're sitting in a car, and you see a guy just get out, like, we're all going to jail. What are you doing? And he says, no, it's all right. It's my brother. So I have to drive now, because this guy's too drunk. Meanwhile, my dad, they were all drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those were some good days. The good old days. The good old days. Moe Afram.

So not sure where I fall in the John Reap rules of fandom. I live in deep South Texas among a family of Dallas Cowboy fans. I jumped on the 85 Bears bandwagon, mainly because I was a huge Walter Payton fan. Almost 40 years later, I've never jumped off the bandwagon and fully invested in all things Chicago Bears, cheering them on through the highs and mostly lows. So am I entitled to carry the true fan label or

Having never lived in Illinois or had any other ties to Chicago. Right. This is a good question. In the NFL, I don't have rules for the NFL. It's just for college sports. So he can do what he wants there. But I would say he's probably grandfathered in. I'm not sure how old Mo Afram is, but it says here what he grew up in South Texas, Texas.

So technically, he should be a Cowboys fan. Yeah. Technically, for going location. Yeah. Jumped on the 85. So right there, he's saying bandwagon. Yeah. He's using the word bandwagon. He says a huge Walter Payton fan. I'm guessing not Gen Z. You know, this guy's a little older. He's probably Gen X. Walter Payton fan. Or older. Almost 40 years later. So yeah. All right, there we go. Jumped off the bandwagon. Fully infested. Never jumped off. Never jumped off. Stayed with the Bears. Yeah.

I guess I'm okay with that because he did it so early. Maybe if you're in South Texas and you hear a lot of Cowboys guys all the time, Cowboys Cowboys, you get tired of it. Yeah. And he's trying to – You're trying to do something different. Yeah. And then you get locked in. You get locked in. And then you're like, well, I can't change now. Yeah. Probably roots for the Cowboys side. Like you want the Cowboys to do good. He said – I cut some of it out. He was a Cowboys fan. Tom Landry. Right. Yeah.

I'm trying to guess his age. You could have just said that. I didn't think about it until you were speculating on it. How old do you think this guy is? He brings up Tom Landry. How much do you mean? I remember Walter Payton four years ago. He's old. Yeah, he's old.

So maybe he is grandfathered in for real. Yeah. He's probably a mix of both. And then, yeah, probably different. You know, you hope he's like an SMU fan or something. You know, like some. Well, I tell you what, those SMU people coming out. They're coming out of nowhere. Out of nowhere. Yeah. Well, they've had to be quiet forever because they got, you know. The death penalty. The death penalty, which was kind of crazy. Yeah. And then, but I mean, you see them now.

A lot of people have seen a lot more of them. A lot more SMU ties now. They got a lot of, they, you know, they were essentially Alabama back in those days. 80s, right? Yeah. And then they got forced out. So now they're like, this is what we do, pay players. The problem I have with this one. You go, nobody pay players like we pay players. He goes, so now you're saying it's all legal? Y'all are going to have. Pony up. Yeah, we're coming back. We're coming back. We're the Pony Express.

bringing it back are they the pony yeah they're the uh mustangs right so there's like a horse oh yeah you're talking about like it works like like a nickname they call it i think it was yeah i don't know do they say pony up pony express i i want to say that somebody was i don't know something to do with that i haven't seen that 30 for 30 pony up top smu pony is a beloved black shetland pony and mascot for smu their mascots a pony

I could see it being fun being an SMU fan. But, I mean, that's like a school that you're like, you don't... People, it looks like, you know, like...

just some weird school getting in where you're like, what? And if you're young, you're just like, Oh, I remember SMU. I kind of got on board with them. You're like, no, they were the, they were the top of the top. Yeah. And then they got knocked out. 2022. The pony delayed a game against Navy, trotted onto the field, did its business right on the field.

interrupted the game that's pretty great you gotta get that stuff under control but other than that no i'm joking and obviously i just like the idea of answering that in a real way you know what once you get to the bottom of that stuff and you can make that happen i think you guys gonna make keep that pony chained up you get that pony where it ain't doing something like that you guys are gonna get some good recruits down there hitch that horse up danny rogers

I am in Arkansas, and we do not have a pro team. The name Danny Rogers, I could have told you he's in Arkansas. It's actually Danner Rogers. Danner. Danner Rogers. Oh, wow. I'm sorry. Even more so. Yeah, Danner Rogers. He didn't even need to say where you're – obviously, you know I'm in Arkansas.

We do not have a pro team. The Razorbacks are the closest thing we have. So if your state does not have a pro team, you should get to pull the largest school in the state without attending. That is in the rules and regulations, yes. Yeah. So about us being Vandy fans. Yes. We did not.

have a pro team growing up. That's right. Your grandfather did. Yeah. For that. But most people went to Tennessee. But you're like, you could choose any... Well, most people pulled for Tennessee but didn't go to Tennessee. But do we have to pick Tennessee because of the largest school? No, you don't have to. Where did you go to school? Middle Tennessee State University. That's who you should be pulling for. Well, I agree with that. He does, but he grew up a Vandy fan. So...

They play on TV maybe once every 30 years. Is it a matter of the MTSU wasn't in college when he was growing up? It was a college, just not a university. No, I think that's fine. It's a boarding school. Yeah. I mean, if they have a football team, that's fine. That's not true, Aaron. We play on Tuesday nights. Do you really?

They schedule a lot of, just to get on ESPN, a lot of Tuesday, Wednesday night. Yeah, you don't know. I mean, he got to know where he's like, you got a home game tonight. Yeah, I'll be flipping around sometimes. I'm like, Tuesday night football. Yeah. Are you ready? Yeah. On ESPN too or something like that. Derek Mason's our coach. Yeah. All right. You ever give Sinden money? No. You give them something. They got you pretty far. Yeah, they did. You know? Mm-hmm.

Give him 40 bucks, man. Why don't you drive down there? Drive down there and give 40 bucks to a teacher. Chick-fil-A card. Because walk in, give a hundo to the math teacher and get out of there. The math teacher. Because do the right thing, Brian. Math teacher. Where's the math teacher at? Knock on the door. And tell them and go, I only do it with cash. They go, we want you to give money. You go, I do cash.

I come around December 20th. That's when I make my rounds. Walk in, thousand bucks. I hand it out accordingly how I see fit. You should be like that kind of donor. Yeah. Yeah. Let's start that. That's a good idea. My brother-in-law, who's my age, he didn't graduate college. I think he went a little bit junior college and then dropped out.

but he's not happy with his job. He wants some type of career path change. So he enrolled at Nashville Tech Community College. And I'm like, what class are you taking? He said, I just wanted to get my brain working. So I took math, math,

And some type of humanities course, like a philosophy. He said, because I wanted both sides of my brain to get a little work. Yeah, that's both sides. And he said the first day they're in there debating what is a person? What makes a person? It's a big question. He's like, oh my gosh, what have I got myself? Here we go. And now it's just a math class. Yeah, that's a big question. I would enroll in – I looked at really trying to enroll back into Vol State. You could do Vandy now.

Well, I don't have the time. Yeah. But I really did. But you have the time for Ball State. No, I didn't have the time for Ball State. If I could have enrolled, like when I was off, I was like, what if I go back to community college and I do a semester or something? But it just – I thought about that too. It'd be great content, you going back to school. Yeah. Well, I thought even just for my act and just to learn – You could do an online course. I would like to do that too, just learn more about social media and just the whole –

you know, computer side of things. I need to, I feel like I need to refresh my skills on that. Yeah, I think there's YouTube classes you can take. Yeah, there's ways. You can take like entire Harvard classes online. Yeah. Really? Completely for free. Yeah, they just upload all the lectures and

So you just watch the lecture? Yeah. I would do it to even learn how to, I don't even know what to do in school. I don't know how to study. What do you mean? I don't understand what you would even do. What do you mean, do? Like, I don't, you go to a lecture. You go to a class, you listen to it, you take notes, and then you either. You take notes of the class. But do they teach you how to take notes? That's the whole thing.

No, they don't, but they should. I don't know how to take notes. When I was in high school, I had really bad grades, and my mom made me watch this seminar called Where There's a Will, There's an A. I did too. Did you? Michael Landon used to promote them. And it teaches you how to learn.

Oh, I need to go watch that. Everyone needs to be doing that. I mean, it's so funny. I almost brought that up. That's so funny. I need to watch that. Yeah. Can I go do this? No, I mean, that might be it, but that's not. I mean, there's probably a lot of guys that do the same seminar, but it's called where there's a will, there's an A. And I remember this step-by-step.

uh how to how to learn oh yeah ways of tricking your brain into memorizing things yeah like word association and that kind of stuff are these them right there do you remember this yeah all right yeah cassette tapes yeah you can order it we have a dvd i sold millions of these yeah is it i would say i would start with that yeah and then and then enroll into a class okay okay but now it's like you just download all of it mm-hmm

But yeah, it did help. But the problem with me was there was no will. Yeah. John Ritter's not a will. There's a C. The problem's in the title. Yeah. Where there's a will, there's a name. What if there's no will? Yeah, I don't grant your premise, buddy. Whoopsies. Heather Hellickson. That's not a bad last name. Hellickson? Oh, I like that. H-H. Yeah, it's kind of a fun name.

And her first name, Heather, I feel like anybody first name Heather is like, you're like, that's trouble. That last name? Hellickson? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Heather Hellickson? Yeah. That's trouble coming your way. What does she drive? What kind of car does Heather... Heather Hellickson drive? What does she drive? Hellcat? Yeah. I mean, she's got to drive... Is it always different? It's always someone else's car. It's always...

Whose car is that? And there's a reason, a story behind it. Camry. Toyota Camry. You think that's what she's driving, the Camry? Statistically. Heather Hilkson. That's the most common car in America, right? Toyota Camry. Yeah, but that name. That's the least fun way to answer the question. She's not driving that. Well, statistically, it's probably Corolla or Camry. Yeah.

I feel like she's got a window that doesn't go down. Oh, you think it's the worst car? I think it's always changing. It's always like her boyfriend's car. Right. I think she has a plastic bag on her car. Jeez. My brain, it was one of those cars called a Brat.

Do you guys remember this thing? I don't know. It's kind of like a Pinto. Yeah. A Brat. No, B-R-A-T, right? Yeah, B-R-A-T, Brat car. A Brat car? Yeah, I think so. Subaru Brat? Yeah, that's what she drives. Oh, yeah. This car looks unreal. Yeah, it's kind of like a Pinto. It's got the seats in the back! Yeah. Look at that. Where you can look at the people behind you. That looks like a lot of fun. So she's got a Brat, and it's got a license plate that's yellow because of the amount of DUIs that she's had.

So you have to have, you have to have a yellow. Yeah. If you get like six DUIs, they change your license plate. Really? In North Carolina? I think it's, uh, everywhere. Uh,

Definitely in Ohio. Everywhere he goes. They let you keep, but they go, you keep driving. Yeah. We just put... No, we know you're not... We know that you're not going to obey the law. Yeah. So we're not going to try to enforce it anymore. Is that real or are you making this up? I think it's real. Yeah. I'm kind of going both on this. That's so funny. Can someone look it up? Is that your car out back? Yeah. Yeah. That's my brat with the yellow license plate. If someone's got a yellow license plate and they just have the most DUIs... Something about yellow license plates, DUIs. Do that. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I'll have to look into this. Because it is a thing. I don't know if it's a thing anymore, but I know at one point it was a thing. Yeah. In Alaska, their actual license plates were yellow anyway. Oh, so it just looked like. I bet Alaska's got the most DUIs. Right.

I think it's a lot of people escaping their own state, and then they're up there just living free. Yeah, but I would just think in general, you just drive drunk because it's like you're just kind of... Yeah, that's the thing. I don't even know if there's even... It's almost like it's not roads. It's just like... You just... Yeah, it's just... You just kind of... You kind of like... It's like you head off into like an empty parking lot. Right, you just start drifting. Yeah. You just go out and let the wind take you. Yeah. I bet there's roads in North Carolina or in Alaska where you could...

you like you know you get pulled over and the cops like you know you're like in the in a farm right now you're like i don't know where the road was okay what does that say north carolina has proposed legislation that would require convicted dui drivers to have special uh special license plates potentially include inquiry yeah including yellow plates the plates have been

So everybody knows. Yeah, so states, if you have restricted driving privileges, they can change the color of the license plate. I've never seen that before. That's a good heads up for the people around you. Yeah, yeah. I bet now everybody's going to start looking at license plates and you're going to start noticing. Yeah. You see a yellow one, you're like, oh boy. Yeah, they chose yellow because of jaundice. Yeah. If you have too much alcohol, kidneys stop working, you go jaundice. Chad Kirk.

Two first names. I think Breakfast Bates looks like a live-action version of Charlie Brown. We never even read Heather's comment. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, sorry. Yeah, we did not. Heather Hellickson. Aaron's true destiny is in ad reads and voiceovers. Not in comedy. Not in comedy. Well, I think you're good at both. Thank you. Thank you, Heather. Chad Kirk. Yeah, Breakfast looks like a live-action version of Charlie Brown. But you could...

Probably like, where's Charlie Brown now? Oh, that'd be a great series. That'd be a good one right there. A good YouTube series. That's pretty good. Yeah, whatever happened. Yeah, whatever happened. Like, you could see Lucy...

Still getting you. Oh, yeah. Right, right? Yeah. You are. She's still pulling the football out from me. Dude, I'll be pig- I'll be pig-pinned. I'll be pig-pinned. I'll be in it with you. We should shoot. Adrian, write it down. We're going to get it, Adrian. We're going to shoot a live-action Charlie Brown sketch starring Brian Bates. Yes. I mean, it's perfect.

It's, it's, we should have a series. Brian Bates Christmas. Brian Bates Christmas. Charlie Brown's Christmas is my favorite. Good grief. I mean, this is. I say that. Yeah. Yeah. This is just. Oh, just got to get the shirt. Worried about everything. Does everything. Yeah. Wants it calm. Yeah. I mean, this is unbelievable. Yeah. There you go, Chad. You just parked to, about to see some Brian Bates acting chops. That's right. Yeah.

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Jasmine Lozana. My son watches Into the Storm multiple times a week, and I just realized that John Reap was Revis. Yes. I play sort of a redneck tornado chaser in this thing. What? It's the comic relief part of the movie. It's not a comedy. It's like a disaster thing. Into the Storm, it was a big movie about...

tornado, whatever. Yeah. And me and this guy, Kyle, we played the sort of redneck, the comic relief, the tornado chasers that we wanted to be like the real tornado chasers, but we just had a four-wheeler and we just kind of followed those guys around. Is it a...

Movie or documentary? Yeah, it's a movie. Yeah, yeah. It's a movie that's shot... I'm surprised I haven't seen it. I'm trying to think if I have seen it because I love storm movies. Oh, yeah. You'd like this one. It's a found footage type movie where the whole thing is shot as if it's found footage. I'll watch it tonight. Like Blair Witch. Like Blair Witch. Into the storm. Right. And...

Yeah, who else is in that? I can't wait. Is this you at the premiere? Yeah, at the premiere. They gave us camouflage tuxedos. They gave them to you or you chose them? They let us choose them. Yeah, yeah. I was about to say. I don't still have them. I wish I did. That would be, yeah. And I said, well, let's do the Dumb and Dumber thing. So that was fun. I worked a couple weddings where the whole, everybody's wearing those. Yeah. Those camo tuxedos. Yeah.

What were you doing at weddings? When I worked at the country club here in town. Oh, yeah, that's right. I ran the buffets. Yeah, yeah, that's right. And they got married up there. And you go down there and they go, man, if I had your shoes, it'd be perfect. Because you had camo Crocs on.

Probably. How does it work? It is a matter. I think you wear that stuff all the time. I don't think you wear it anywhere. I think you tell them to go, well, my feet get big after a while. My feet swell. You have the doctor's note that says, what do you want me to do? They go, well, that's very unprofessional. Well, his feet swell. And they go, can I talk to you?

They don't want to say it in front of you. Come here. He goes, his feet swell. His feet swell. And they go, oh, come on. And then they go back over to you and go, hey. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Where have you been? You're okay. We're going to keep you in the kitchen tonight. Yeah. Yeah.

So in this movie, Sarah Wayne Callies is in it. She was in The Walking Dead. I don't know if you ever watched Walking Dead. I did not. That's her. Oh, yeah, but I didn't know. She was kind of a big deal. And then Richard Armitage, he went on to be a hobbit in the Hobbit movies. Wow, fantastic.

And then Nathan Crest, this Disney kid. Is it like I'm seeing it? Like did a lot of people, was it kind of like a cult classic type? Like people liked it like that? I wish. Oh. This guy watches it multiple times a week. Yeah. Some people love it. Yeah. It's fun. It was a good time. Yeah.

Well, that's a perfect segue. Yes. This week we're talking about acting. Oh! Boom. Brian's playing Charlie Brown. Aaron's doing voiceovers. Yeah, what a good is that? That's why that comment was, you know. All right. That's what we do. It's the stuff. Nice segue, guys. Nate's eventually maybe going to get a chance to do something. Yeah, we'll see. I'll be, you know. The plan is, but until I see it, I don't believe anything. I've tried to sell. All the no's I've been told.

about any tv show of ever being me on anything uh i couldn't have been told no more wow so with the movie i don't even understand what it would look like what it i mean we're writing it but i don't know like yeah you know being on set you know all that i don't know any of that stuff so uh yeah i'll be you know but you're writing a film now yeah oh nice yeah so we'll see

But I don't believe you. It's about a redneck storm chaser. I was going to say, if you need a redneck storm chaser. It's about you, actually. I know a guy. It's about your career. Well, let me check my schedule, but we'll see. So, John, you've been in multiple TV and movies. Yeah, yeah. You've done it all. I've done it all. I've done some, yes. I've been in movies. You've got a reel? Sitcoms. I have a reel. Commercials.

Are you most known for the Hemi commercial? Yeah, probably so. That or Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Guantanamo Bay, people like that one. That one comes up a lot. Yeah, probably Kirby Enthusiasm. Kirby Enthusiasm. I'm on that right now. Episode two of Kirby Enthusiasm. Is that an old video that we get taken down? I mean, I watched it last night. It's just restricted here. This is the network we're on. Oh, okay.

Well, that was impressive reel. Thank you. I watched it. You're in my favorite storyline of Eastbound and Down, which is the...

The sports talk show. Yeah, the Sesh. And you get kicked off the show. That was, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was great. That was a dream come true because I was already Kenny Powers for Halloween like two years before that. And now here I am on this show, you know, doing scenes with the guy. And it was very intimidating because. Probably near your house, right? It was in North Carolina. Yeah, yeah. They filmed it in Wilmington.

I was living in California at the time, and I was getting divorced during that time. So I thought, this is a great escape from that. Yeah, yeah. And I said, just keep me there the whole summer. And I was in four out of the last eight episodes of

And it was just a lot of fun. Those guys work hard. They play hard. And like I said, it was intimidating because I really respect these guys a lot. Yeah. And I just didn't want to do anything to screw it up. Yeah. So I'm in the trailer. I'm trying to memorize everything back and forth. And all these scenarios are played out in my head. And I was ready to go. And day one, take one.

They start rolling, and the guy who was this guy right here, Jimmy Clay, was doing his – he had a line before me. So I was waiting for him to be done with his line, and then I knew that it's my turn to say my line, but he started improvising. I was like, oh, well, when you're done, do I jump? And I just – I was like, oh, I didn't know we were doing that. So then I realized, oh, they're going to want to do a lot of improvising on this show, and it was great after that, but –

I think I'm better as an actor in things that I don't care about because this one I cared too much. And it kind of like... I think you were good in this. I thought I was okay in that. You were great in it. No, I thought you were great. I thought it was great. I wouldn't have even thought anything that you could be good or bad. I think you're good at everything because I just think you know what you're doing. So it's... You're...

You're like you playing a three time Winston Cup. It was wonderful. Like you had like an ugly wife or something and they all didn't like that. She's a big woman. She's a larger woman. But you thought she was beautiful, right? That was an accident. Honestly, they told me later. They said when they cast her, they cast her on a headshot.

Not a body shot. Yeah. And so... She did have a pretty face. When she showed up, but it wasn't like a plain Jane. Oh, okay. She had a plain Jane look, and that's what they wanted. And then she got there, and it was more than that. Yeah. And so they said, but you know what? It works. They just keep it the way it is and just play it that way, and it still worked. But yeah, I don't know. I just... Thank you for saying all that, but I think...

Harold and Kumar escaped Guantanamo Bay, I think I was more confident as an actor in that because I didn't really watch the first one. I didn't watch the first Harold and Kumar go to White Castle because I'm like, okay, it's a modern-day Cheech and Chong. I get it. But then when I auditioned for this and I got that part, I went and watched it and I go, I could do this. Who are these guys? I don't know who they are. I could go in there and do that. So I had like a chip on my shoulder. I'm going to steal this in a weird way. But on here, I'm like, no, no, no. Just...

Let me know when you want me to chime in, and I'll chime in. I was almost too respectful. I could see that. Yeah, I mean, but yeah, I think you did. I think, but that's almost kind of maybe how you should have played this even. Yeah. Because you're an announcer. Yeah. So I don't know if you would have played it.

The other way. Yeah. What do they say with acting? Because I did an audition once, and they told me to listen. Yeah. I don't listen. Right. So what is it? That's what I've been trying to figure out as I head into. You head into a major production. You just have to give the illusion of listening. Yeah, but it's like, are you thinking of your lines? I think you're supposed to. I'm sorry. No. Go ahead. Oh, God. That guy does one. Screw you.

sprung episode because he was on sprung he goes sorry sorry john uh greg garcia brought him out now he's got oh man and now got a big you want to see my reel he won't even probably restricted do you have your reel i said it darren i don't know if you can see oh oh yeah yeah i think you could see it i don't think it's taken down uh there's nothing on there it's wide open you just have to get it's all greg garcia oh sprung it's yeah it's greg garcia

What is this? What are you talking about? Is this you? That's him. Look at that. Look at that acting. This is excellent. Yeah. Brilliant. Yeah. This is, yeah. Handle the lector mask.

Yeah, Bates is real is just literally all the time he was on television. It's the whole one episode. 14 seconds. Is there other stuff? He goes, no, that's all of it. That's the only, that's every bit of it. Did you know you'd be wearing the mask when you auditioned for it? Oh, dude. I was in two episodes thinking that much. Yeah, but yeah, Greg. Aaron's in the trailer.

Aaron made the trailer. I had one line that described the whole plot of the show. What is it? I don't know what the show is. Sprung? What's Sprung? Greg Garcia. You know Greg Garcia? Comedian? No, he's very funny. Is he a showrunner? Yeah. Yeah, I know him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he created this show. Oh, wait. Yeah.

you know what i've seen this because i remember seeing you and i'm thinking oh yeah they would advertise it during football games yeah it was great it's on free v right came out the whole script's great greg's yeah i mean we greg is always greg's done the greg is he's done the podcast yeah yeah yeah so i have authority to talk about this yes you do yes you do have you do you have more authority than i do yeah exactly to be honest so now if we're looking up stuff as an actor can you look this one up yeah uh one mississippi

That was a sitcom that Tig Notaro had. And I was on her show, John Reap. I wonder if there's any clips of that. Yeah. Because that one was another one where I'm just like super confident because I already know Tig and I like her and I think she's great. And I think she cast me just based on that as well. Yeah. Are you still like, is it...

So this one you probably got just out. Oh, that's... Oliver Anthony. I did a tribute to Oliver Anthony's song. It's called Poor Men South. Now, his is called Poor Men... No, his is Richmond, North of Richmond. Mine is Poor Men South of Portland. Yeah. And I just basically did the reverse of what he did. You can play it if you want. I'm not a great singer. I'm not a great singer.

- A million views. - That's awesome. - Oh yeah, yeah. - Yeah.

It's not one Mississippi, but it's good. It's hard to find that. I couldn't find any video clips of it. But go back to your listening question, right? So if you memorize the script and you're working with someone, see, a lot of the things that I've done, you get the part. You audition, you get the part, you show up, they give you a trailer or whatever, and no one says, hey, let's run lines. No one's out.

I was hoping they would, but I've always had to do it myself, just going over it tons in my brain. But if it's you, you're going to have many opportunities to run lines with whoever you cast on your show. And doing it over and over and over again with someone –

It will come to a point where you actually are looking like you're listening and not just waiting to do your mind. Yeah, it's almost – because ideally it should be what is said is almost kind of what the only answer would be. I was going to say like when you know your acts forward and backwards, you don't even have to think about – you can be thinking about other things ahead to whatever. So therefore, in a way, it makes you more in the moment. Yeah, and you can take risks. When it's your project, you can say, well –

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Now, did you ever have the resume with your picture on the back? Yeah. I had the headshot. I did that for stand-up, too. Like, before the internet, you know? Do they do headshots still? I don't know. I bet they do. They have to do something. You send out a headshot, you probably just email. You email it, but yeah. If you get booked on a show, then that's for a headshot. You get a look and you get a...

I mean, I bet now you're almost like you get someone's personality because now there's so much video that you could be like, let me just see. You know, you could probably look someone up and be like, I want to hire this guy. And then you're like, well, let's go. You know, like if I want to hire you, John, it's like, but then I could go like, all right, I go watch some of your, I watch you on social media. Yep. Probably get a vibe to see if you're a good guy or not. Yeah. Well, that happens a lot. And then be...

And then you kind of go from there. Like the idea of like for the Christmas special, December 19th, CBS that we did, the idea was, or the idea that I would like to do in making anything is to be like, I want people that are good people. And like, you know, as far as I know, you know, like, but it's people that you're like, yeah, I can hang out, hang out with these people. I could hang out with them off.

off air. Yes. Essentially. Yeah. Essentially. Like, so that's, and I think if you bring that to the casting. Yes. To go like, we're all going to get along, then you could, your casting should be like, I only cast people that,

You can't just cast your friends because your friends can't do the things that you need people to do. But I would only cast people that could be my friends. Right. Like I wouldn't cast someone that – I can't be your friend unless they're so specific of a thing that you're like, you know, this guy is like – are you friends with him? You're like, he's just – look what he does. This is not going to be a normal person. You know, like if you go – like if you're with, you know,

Tom, you know, I don't know, Tom Hardy or something or Daniel D. Lewis. I don't know if that's going to be the most fun to be because you're like, it's such a different thing that you're like, yeah, but I'm hiring top of the top, you know. It's like, that's the deal. Like, I'm hiring the best of the best. Yeah. And if you're hiring those guys, I think it probably is hard to

Like, you know. But you have, I mean, you killed on SNL many times, and that's acting, and that's live. That's one of the highest stress things you could do in terms of acting. I mean, I love it, though. That's crazy. I love the live. I know it's interesting with a movie to be like, could it be boring? No studio audience. Because I only have done a live audience. Oh, right.

Even the Christmas special is live audience. Even though it's not taped live and you can redo things, you always have the pressure of a live audience. I think you're going to like it better without the live audience. Really? Yeah. Because you can get into it more. You don't feel like you're wasting other people's time. You don't feel like I got to get a laugh every seven seconds or whatever it is. You feel like I can just take my time. But you are and you should be. Let's get it right. Well, you know what?

We will all have a timer in our heads. Yeah, yeah, sure. Because we're comedians. That just happens. But maybe it would be better. But I bet that first feeling of you worked on it for so long and the first time you're watching people watch it, I bet that's crazy. Oh, yeah. I bet that's nerve-wracking. You're like, God, what if it just bombs? Yes. Oh, yeah. Gigantic screen. Yeah, like a movie. Like, yeah, even all the stuff that SNL was live and the Christmas special, even though it's not out yet, there was an audience. So you got the reaction. Mm-hmm.

So, yeah, I could see like a movie where you're, you know, is it like a movie when you have a movie come out? Are you like, oh, I forgot I even shot it? Or is it? No, I do. I do forget like the little nuances. Like when we did Curb Your Enthusiasm, that thing didn't come out till like two years later. Like, was it COVID? Something happened.

And it just delayed it for a whole year or two. So... Was there a writer's strike? That's what it was. Yeah. It was a writer's strike. And so that delayed it for like a year. Sounds like it was some serious...

9-11? Yeah. That's what it was. Something happened. The birth of your child? I don't know. The Ukraine war. All right. Now I'm back. Okay. That's what took so long. Yeah. It was the writer's strike. And so when that thing came on, I was like, oh, I forgot about that part. And that was a lot of improvising you said, right? That was a lot. That whole thing was improvised. Between you and him, that's probably nervous because you don't want to be... Yeah. Because he's known for being sort of a curmudgeon anyway. And I'm

I'm this guy like, if I get the part, I'm not going to hassle anybody. I'm not going to ask for anything. I'm just going to come in, do my job, and then go away if that's what you want me to do. So I didn't try to bug anybody, but I'm there. The first scene, we're in a jail, and you don't know how we meet, me and Larry. But he notices I got stomach. So the whole audition, when I got the audition, it was just emailed to me. Normally you get sides, scripts and all this stuff.

And this, it was just a scenario. So you are in jail with Larry David. He notices you have stomach cramps.

You guys talk about that. And then you exchange phone numbers at the end, everything else in between, just figure out. Yeah. And so we did that, but I, in my audition, I did that with a buddy of mine where I filmed my, my, uh, my podcast. Yeah. And he's got like a little studio and stuff too. So we did it there, send it in. And I guess they liked it enough to just give me the part. And now I got to do this with Larry, not my friend. And Larry's like, you know, kind of intimidating guy, but super nice. He,

He was all business, too. He came in and sat down. Me, him, and the director walked over. He goes, all right, guys, we're going to run it two or three times, and then we'll wiggle it down, and we'll get it right. And that was it. It was real simple. And I was happy with the way that turned out. I thought that was a pretty good episode. And there's a blooper that I want. I don't know. It didn't air, but I made him laugh out loud really hard one time. And I'm like, oh, I want that.

Because when he laughs, it looks like his jaw comes out. It kind of comes forward too, like down and like that. But yeah, I had him rolled in one scene, but that was a lot of fun. Definitely. Has there ever been a big part you really, really wanted and just didn't work out? Yes.

Well, what comes to mind is the Dukes of Hazzard movie. I mean, it seems like. It goes. Just give that to me. The audience could have just guessed that. The one with, oh gosh. Steve-O. Johnny Knoxville. Johnny Knoxville. That one. Jessica Simpson. Oh, yes. That's the one. I auditioned for that for the role of Cooter. And David Koechner got it, which is obviously a better choice.

But I wanted that role. I had it memorized. I thought I killed it in the audition. I'm sure you did. Were you in it at all? No. Oh. No, and I got another thing I got cut out of. Not cut out of, but...

Not Talladega. Which one was Ricky Bobby? Talladega Nights. Talladega Nights. There was a scene where I was going to be like a NASCAR fan in the stands, kind of like Rob Schneider. You can do it! Kind of a thing. And that never came to fruition either. But you shot it and everything? No. They auditioned for it, and they said, you got the part. And then they said, never mind. We're not even going to do that at all now. Yeah, that's probably for people that want to become actors. Yeah.

That's probably the part that you got to... You were going to get punched in the mouth. Yes.

The point of being an actor, I believe, is 95% to be punched in the mouth. Yeah. Right. That's the... Can you take a punch over and over and over again? Because you're going to shoot stuff. You're going to add things that you think are going to change your life, and they're not. Right. Because it just doesn't happen. It just totally treated like a commodity, like dehumanized. Oh, yeah. Too ugly, too fat, whatever. Yeah. Don't need you. Yeah. Not good. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. But it's like it is what it is. It's like you got to...

Do a part so you're... It's like you just got to be this. Yeah. That's tough. You have to know that going in. I mean, the worst is if you're doing background acting. When I first moved to L.A.,

um i wanted to get into acting i just didn't know how so this my roommate at the time this great actor named joe stevens uh he said you should just sign up for background actors they always need people to just be in the background and you can work your way up and get to know this guy and but they treat them like cattle it's so bad they're just really mean to them yeah yeah we had uh for those in the sketches we because we've had background actors

You know, you try to like say hi and stuff. But obviously, yeah, I can't go – you can't go sit and talk to everybody. And I do get if you were doing a lot of movies or a TV show all the time, I do understand like you're saying like the professional, like Larry David's like, look, I'm coming in to do this. I'm not trying to become your best friend. Right, exactly. All this stuff. I mean that's – you're like – everybody would be professional. Me talking about I want to hire people that are friends. You can't hire –

You got to do, you got to be professional and you want people to be professional. Like, let's come in and let's do this, kill this part. And there's a weird thing with acting. Cause I think with standup is like, we're just involved in everybody's life so much that you're, you know, it's like we go do a show. You're like, yeah, I'm going to be with every, you know, you're just know the other comics. Yeah. Yeah. Hanging out for a whole weekend together. Yeah. More time, more downtime. I think it was Tom Papa that told you that, uh,

Like comedians, like if Matt Damon or somebody walks out, people are just going to be at all. But comedians, because of the nature of what we do, they feel like they know us better. So they just treat you. Not that...

Comedians should be treated like Matt Damon. Seinfeld said that. Seinfeld, okay. They just go, Jerry! But if Matt Damon walked through, it's like a different kind of thing. But I mean, all that's even kind of, because there's the star, the movie stardom is, I don't think it's gone away. I just don't think they do it anymore. And I think it's not on their, you know, like having a movie star. Like who's come out? Timothy Chalamet.

He would come out, and he's probably the, he's a movie star, right? Like in the grand scheme of what we think. But it's still done in a different way, because what is, is Dune, was Dune a TV show or a movie? Movie. A movie? Yeah, it was a movie. And it was just on streaming? It was at theaters. No, no, it was a huge, yeah. Hundreds of millions. Yeah. So, but he, was he the main, so it's like he's become a movie star, Willy Wonka. Yeah. So like that's like a movie star that they're in the making. Yeah.

But I wonder if he's doing too much different kind of things where it's like, you know. He's playing Bob Dylan. Yeah, and he's playing Bob Dylan. Yeah, I know what you're saying. With comedians, they don't get starstruck. You get starstruck with like big stars. And I guess they see us as friends, like what you're saying. But I feel like they're not making movies. Like you go, you're not going to watch a movie

timothy chalamet movie you're going to watch he's just the best he's the best one for so it's like he's going to be in it where versus you go watch a tom cruise movie you go watch a jason statham movie you watch a denzel washington movie tom hanks movie the rock kevin hart like some of these i guess they have but it's yeah it's like there is the stars the movie i mean the rock is one i think it's just like overkill too yeah they get like too much

And then they're making, yeah, it's, it's the industry's just should go back the other way. You know, I was talking about Charlie Chaplin, like watching that last night. Cause Charlie Chaplin was someone that he started like kind of Hollywood. He was, do you have Charlie Chaplin stuff? I think I have some stuff about improv and how his style kind of. Well, it was, but he started a studio.

So when he died in 1977, he was at the 1974 Oscars, I think, or 72 or 74 Oscars. You can watch a video. They bring him out because he thought everybody was going to boo him because he was kind of ran out of Hollywood. He's ran out of this country. Oh, I forgot about that. And then so he was like they wanted him to come back and he was very nervous about coming back.

He did one talking movie. It was The Great Dictator, which set out Adolf Hitler. He had a wild 1940s. Got accused of being a communist. So that's not get all in a political... But the FBI investigated a lot of that stuff. If you watch the movie, it's... Look, I don't know the... We're not getting into it all. But it was...

Yeah, I don't know, man. I mean, it's like one of those, yeah. On the face of it all, he was blamed for this thing. Sure. And then afterwards, I don't think he was, and people don't now. But he went against the grain, I guess, when he did that.

satire of hitler like okay and not that i've seen it i don't know you know it's like it was a long time ago but he was but he was like someone that was like well i'll just do it myself like so he started making uh he was with someone he's like well i'll just start making he started a studio and to be making all his kind of silent movies and then when they went to talking he was just like i'm not gonna he's like it's over yeah he he was able to have that that reasonableness that there was a mystiqueness

that you needed to have, that's what's kind of gone. And that's what you got to have. That's what you have to be

You got to be like, I don't know what this guy's like in his real life. I don't know what, you know, where now you're, you know. Right. I think some of the best actors are the ones that can just disappear into a part and you don't even know them as a human. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aaron said there's not been a, what, since 2012, a Hollywood star because of that? No, this is like a theory that every major star exists

But Nate just gave one example that proves otherwise. But every major star you've heard of before 2012. And then after that, just the way entertainment, it just changed so that there's not going to be another Leonardo DiCaprio. But yeah, that's what, yes, that's true. So you got Timmy Chalamet who could be, but it's like even, they're almost overexposed. Right.

And the movies are not big enough. They're overexposed in not big advertising things. So you got a Timothee Chalamet, but then he's kind of everywhere because it's just him. So then it's almost like there's too much... Because if you're like him, it's like you should be in more control of it to be like, you know what?

I don't need to be overexposed. I try to do it. I can just speak of it for myself. But like this December, I'm going to have a lot. I'm going to be around a lot in December. It's a lot. It's a lot. I know. Too much. It's like Peyton Manning. Yeah. Too much. But I try not to do... I've been asked to do commercials and do that stuff. And I've intentionally not done them. Because it's like I don't want to be around too much. I do this podcast every...

I try on social media not to be me talking to the crowd too much. It's you only see me through my work. Yes. And, you know, in the podcast is, you wouldn't want to be this available in a sense. But, you know, our podcast is like, it's going, it's still like when you go to arena, most people don't. The vast majority are not there. They're the podcast fans. So the podcast, I feel like I got a little window into like,

People that are – it's not this – this isn't the Joe Rogan podcast. It's a fun little corner of your career. Yeah, yeah. And the actors or whatever, biggest celebrities have really the least amount of social media presence. Yeah, and I think you have to do that. And I think that's a smart thing. It's like a line that says, I'm not going to go over here because I'm so good over here, you don't get me over here. Whereas some people have to go this way. I should get you in a presented way.

Now, as a comedian, we're kind of different just because we're naturally talkers and we get in situations. But it's like, yeah, as you do podcasts, you do interviews, it's like less and less to be like, you get to where you go like, I'm doing way less interviews than I ever did before where I would do everything. And now I'm only doing...

I'm not trying to be like I'm better than anybody. I don't think I'm better than anybody. But I'm just trying to make the experience for the person at home better with me. So I don't want to be everywhere for you. It's not because I don't want to always go do everything. I'm doing it for you because I want you to be able to watch something and the mystique is not kind of taken away. And so you try to go like, I'll do what needs to be done to, you know,

I mean, I'm doing Talk the Town. You are? Yeah. I was going to try to get you on. I thought I could pull some strings for you. You don't need me. Are you going to go tomorrow? It's tomorrow? Yeah. Yeah, I'll go. Yeah. So I'm doing Talk the Town. But I'm doing Talk the Town. I'm going to introduce you to Leland. Yeah. I like going to the ones that, you know, that's the local. That's the local Nashville Morning Talk. Nashville Talk of the Town. Oh, okay. And so it's like the local one that's been here forever. I can't get you on, John. Well, I can't just get anybody. So it's like you go do, you know, if I do podcasts, it's like, all right, well.

Trying to be like, you know, and I'll do my friends. You just try to kind of go like, I don't need to be everywhere. If you had any, or you, Johnny, the one really bad auditions where you like, you walked out of like, there's no way I'm getting that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wrote an email to...

I think I've talked about it. We'll move on then. Yeah. I don't know. Mine, I might have talked about it. I wrote, I did one and it was so bad, I emailed. An apology? An apology. Really? Oh, that's funny. It was, look up who cast the office. Who did you apologize to? Allison. Allison Jones. Yeah. Okay. Allison Jones. And I, still to this day,

Talked very highly of her. She was very, very nice to me. And really tried to get me into stuff. And I just... Some I did well, but more than often, I blew it and I was so bad. And she would just... But she would always be nice. She always brought it back. And I emailed Allison Jones. Right after the email. And I said, you should email her and say, I'm so sorry for that. I'm...

was very uncomfortable in whatever it was and I'm sorry that I wasted your you know I just felt bad I'm sorry I wasted your time that you had to sit through that because you shouldn't have had to you're the real you're professional and that's not a career move you legit felt bad that you wasted oh it wasn't even I'd never gone back in front of it it wasn't it wasn't because when I lived in LA so 2012-14 I helped him audition

a lot of these yeah a lot of these i would do all of them i might have sent in more auditions actually to her through a tape or something like that but yeah i could easily tell my route was going to have to be i'm going to have to create what i'm going to be in uh but it's yeah but i emailed her and that was out of a pure just out of a human to a human i just like i'm sorry that that's probably a good move though because if you want to get back in she'll be like well

I'll get a good email. He wasted our time last time, but he did apologize. But he did apologize. My car was broken into when I walked out to the car. Talk about a day. Backpack stolen. Oh, yeah. Now I do remember this. I have talked about it. It's all your insult to injury. Yeah, so bad. Horrible audition. And then I was recording my... I was recording my...

submission for my hour on Comedy Central, I think, full-time magic. And so you had to record the full hour to send to them to show them what you're doing. And so I had it on note cards and had all my note cards, had backpacks in the front row. So I get out of that audition. That's that bad. I feel sick to my stomach. I'm embarrassed.

And called my agent. I said, email her and say I'm sorry. I called, I mean, as walking to my car. I go email to say I'm sorry. I go, that was so bad. I just don't want to. She's always been so nice to me. And I feel bad that I didn't do what I should have done in that kind of thing. And hung up and then got to my car. Car windows smashed. Backpack with my set list gone. So my set list is gone. So now I've got a fine...

some set list maybe at home. I'm trying to find a set list to, you know, I kind of knew it, but I was worried that I would forget. Call me to see what jokes I remember. Yeah. Just trying to go through it. That's a funeral. Yeah. I mean, he's at a funeral. There's a decent chance. Yeah. You call Brian. There's a decent chance he's at a funeral. At least a 50-50. And then, and so then, yeah, and all my stuff was in the windows shattered. Oh, man.

Oh, man. That is a bad audition. And I had that night, because it was that night I had to do my set. So then I had to do the set. I tanked an audition once for Punk'd, the show Punk'd. They were auditioning comedians to be on it. And so I did well in this first audition.

And they liked it. They said, well, Ashton wants to meet you. Can you come back on this day? And I'd just gotten into the college market, like doing NACA gigs. And so I was just about to make some decent money, get out of debt. And I didn't want to cancel this college gig. I said, well, I can't. I mean, that's going to be a lot of money for me. Can we move it to this date? And they said, all right, well, Ashton likes you. So he said he'll meet you in his dressing room on the set of that 80s show. Yeah.

70's show. Yeah, 70's show. So now I show up. They go good. That's right. I'm 10 years too late. Yeah, yeah. Or too early. But I came. It was weird because there was no script again. It was like, well, I thought your audition was funny. On the show, we punk people, so...

We have to come up with something now if you want to punk somebody. He wanted me to go to his castmate's dressing room and do a thing where we punk them. Yeah. And see how it goes. And so we had to come up with a scenario. I'm like, what can we do? So he wants me to brainstorm with him. Yeah. And I'm very nervous. Yeah. Because this is Ashton Kutcher. And I'm like, I don't know. And we came up with this idea of like, I have an amazing – so I – my –

My relationship to Ashton is that we went to college together, but he barely knows me. He knows me enough to let me on the set and hang out with him. And I'm trying to sell him my idea for an app.

And my app is a crosswalk app. So when you're walking and you come up to a crosswalk, if you have the app, you can hit a button and it makes it walk for you. So you never have to stop walking. So you can just keep going. Oh, it's a good. Boom. It just, it changes. It changes. Yeah. So stupid. Yeah. And he's like, all right, go sell that to my friends. And so now I'm in their dressing room just hanging out and Ashton wants me to like,

just do some weird, awkward moments with these guys while I'm waiting for Ashton to show up. And I couldn't think of anything. It's weird to say this now, but Danny Masterson was in there at the time. Yes, good night. By the way, is John Reed talking? These are all his friends. These are all John Reed's close friends. I had to come up with something to do weird, and I'm like, I don't know. It was Danny Masterson, Ashton Kutcher, and what's his wife's name?

They look good. They're all in trouble. I started the whole thing. You started the whole thing. That's why your punk should have been that. You go on there. That's my ultimate punk. It took a while for it to register. You go, ah, hey. Yeah. Surprise! You know all I know about Ashton Kutcher? He had the most brutal review written about. I think about it every time I hear his name. He did that first Steve Jobs movie, and I was just reading the review. It got bad reviews. It was not a very good movie. But I saw one review that just said,

Ashton Kutcher's Poverty of Talent on full display. I remember like, oh my God. Poverty of Talent. That's brutal. Yeah, that's brutal. Poverty. On full display. I don't even know if reviews even affect anything anymore because...

The internet. Everything's mean. Yeah. Right. So it's like you, there's no one really that you go to. But they're like the cleverest. Well, I mean, they are. I know. I'm saying you should have some trust to go to it.

I think you could build back up reviews because you should be because now it's getting too Wild West-y. So it's like you're just like having to go – like last night, I watched that Chaplin movie and you just kind of got to look at like Amazon reviews are always going to be great. And I enjoyed it actually because I really was interested in learning about him. But it's like, yeah, the reviews are – it's like a tough – but you should be able to go – I feel like you should –

You know, we should do reviews. We should do a review. Maybe you do a movie review. Nate Land Reviews. Yeah, why don't you do a Nate Land movie? Would you review movies? We'll do it. We'll 100% do it. Oh, review Into the Storm. I think it's like to build the trust. They want you to do it. Huh? People love your movie reviews. Oh, they do? Yeah. I'll do them. Salt. I want to watch movies with. Yeah, they loved your salt. Oh, really? A bunch of them.

I want to watch movies with you. I want to watch movies with you. I want to watch movies with Dusty and just have y'all talk about it. There you go. Or John, I want to watch some movies I want you to watch. Did you ever see Mystery Science Theater? Remember that show? Something like that. Yeah, yeah. Remember Salt? The way the president ran? And it...

took you out of the whole movie yeah just the way the president was running yeah you went on for like 15 minutes and so they liked their oh all right well maybe we maybe do a movie review yeah it'd be great maybe i would do it on the podcast so it's yeah uh no but i'll just do my movies that i watch random exactly yeah that's the best you see shawshank redemption oh yeah many many many good movie right yeah it's great it's really great never seen it all right give us hot no on purpose

At this point, yeah. No, it's still... I'm not... I will watch it when I'm in the mood to watch it. Sure. I would be forcing it right now. I've never been in the mood to watch it. Okay. I'm going to have to be... How do you know if you're in the mood? You don't even know what the movie is. I know when the mood would strike for me to get involved. And I haven't been in the mood. Is there something about it? I was in the mood for Chaplin. And I watched Chaplin. And that's what happened. And that's what happened. Is there something... And I was in the mood for Salt. I was in the mood for...

uh, a session Ninja. Yeah. If it was called something like that, you would have watched it. So much of this is the title. Yes. I hate on this salt. What's salt?

I don't even remember now. Angelina Jolie. Yeah. She's like an assassin or something. Yeah. And then they're trying to kill the president. I watched some, yeah, crazy movies. Yeah. So I watched Yellowstone. I'm sorry. Do you watch Yellowstone? No. Okay. I started watching Landman. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was good. Yeah. Landman's good. I'm telling you, man. It's... Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bob Thornton. He's great in it. He's very funny in it. But I mean, like the stuff with his...

Yes, thank you. It's insane, dude. And it's almost like I enjoy it because I love the idea of kind of learning about this world because I didn't watch Yellowstone because I'm not a Western guy. But this I do like. But the stuff with his daughter. There's some great cheesy moments in here. It's just insane, dude. Everything is so...

You know, it's insane. That's just the world that they're... So it's a little bit... Maybe I'm becoming... I don't know if I'm getting... I am, but it's getting older, but you're just like, good night, man. It's the stuff with his daughter.

And she's, you know, I just don't understand it. Yeah. With his ex-wife, too. His ex-wife. Yeah, it's crazy. When they were hanging out by the pool. Yeah, yeah. That was just so, like, one-dimensional character. I mean, it was just so. Well, it's just so, yeah. It's, you, there's really, you want to go, what's the point of the daughter being in the show? I don't know the point of it. Yeah. It's, everybody else has a point.

And I would just say, I don't know the point of her being in it, except for what, if you watch it, exactly what she's in it for. Yeah. Just to be a distraction. And then you're just like, yeah, yeah. It's like. Pain in his neck. Maybe I've only seen one scene, but it's the scene where he tells her how all's going to. That's not his daughter. Oh.

That scene, that's a lawyer. And that, yeah, that scene is good. But the stuff, it's just like the, yeah, it's just, you know, it's just what you think. It's the way they make stuff now. And they just, it's just too much. And I don't think it's like because I'm a Christian or like some kind of thing like that. I think most people would agree to be like, I always think about that girl having to audition for that.

Why do you got to make... Imagine doing a girl as an audition. Everything you go do is going to be like, well, are you willing to wear nothing? That's everything you're making them go do. Okay, I'm piecing together. That's the idea of it. And that's like, you know, as we, as I make movies, if I get to the... I don't want to... I don't want to... You have to...

Women have to just be willing to take their clothes off now. Right. Like it's uncomfortable. Yeah. And it's, I mean, getting old enough now that you want to go like, what's the, not even. We don't need this. You're making Jennifer Lawrence has been naked. Yeah. What are you doing? You got, these people are the great actors. Maybe if they want to do it, then go do it. I don't, I have no, do whatever you want to go do. But I just always feel like you're like, golly, dude.

Yeah. Just this is – is it not – this movie's not intense enough. Right. I guess they have some outlet. Maybe they think it's an outlet, but it's – It seems like that's one producer who's really pushing hard for this one – Yeah. And it's like – You got to get rid of that guy. Yeah. Then everything else can be fine. Yeah, then everything else we can make it – Normal. Yeah, you make it just be normal. Be normal. Yeah, be normal. It's so – it's enough that I –

Want to watch it. I don't know if I will finish it just because I'm kind of a – it's – That scene at the pool with those two. The pool and the football field, like in all of it, it's just – I mean, it's – yeah. It's pornographic. That's why – And I don't know how to say it, but it's that much where you want to go, this is insane. Yeah.

It's very Yellowstone in the sense that there are some really good acting scenes by some great actors. Oh, yeah. And then every now and then there's a scene that's just like straight out of a soap opera. Yeah. Where it's like super dramatic or done way over the top. And it's kind of funny. So now I end up laughing at it. So I'm watching it for two different reasons. Yeah. I think it's like the comedy in it is the reason that they're doing it. But it's just so...

you're like, is this the comedy? Right. Like, is there not another? You could have her be something else. Like, I, you know, if you want to, if it's a wife that spends all your money, like, that's fine. But don't, does she have to wear nothing? Take her dress off at the country club? Does she have to, like, just have her, just be fun and have a wife that spends the money. Like, that comes in or, you know, and dresses nicely. Like, you can dress her

To go, she's very proud of the way she looks without having to be like, I mean, dude, it's, it's not, the daughter is the one that I had probably the most trouble with, but it was, but yeah, I don't know. Don't listen. Don't listen. Do whatever you want. I don't know. Stick to salt.

All right. So acting started in ancient Greece. He did. I didn't know what he did. Sorry. Taylor Sheridan. He did great movies. Oh, yeah. Sicario. Yeah, Sicario is like, I mean, I love it. Sicario is the most violence you could ever do. And I know that doesn't even make sense that for some reason I'm okay with one versus the other. Yeah. But I think most people are. Yeah. I'm just guessing. Do whatever you want to go do. But the violent way is weirdly enough...

the one that I think is kind of okay. Like, it's like, everybody's kind of fine with, I don't think you got to show someone's head being sawed off. Like it's, you know, there's ways to do it, but at some reason, yes, violence. That's just how the, that's just how it works in my head is I'm okay with violence and I'm not okay with that other stuff. Yeah. That makes sense. So if you're a dad, that makes sense. You know,

So acting started in ancient Greece. Most of the time, people would just tell stories. They would orate stories. But then this one guy, Thespis, he started putting himself in the story. So he wasn't saying so-and-so did this. He would act like that person. And he was like the first actor. And now people are called thespians. Oh, I did not know that. Oh, wow. So he just thought, like, what if I just move a little bit? Yeah.

That's a movement. He's like, why don't I just pretend like I'm this person instead of reading what this person's doing? So all actors slash thespians are just doing an impression of Thespis. Yes. And I'm actually going back. Yeah. I'm going backwards because I'm just telling this story. Wait, am I? Yeah. So I disagree with that. Yeah, it's too much. It's too much. But I guess he'd be telling a story about someone else. I'm telling a story about myself. Yeah. But he would just act out.

Yeah. The scenes. Yeah. Imagine when he first did it, you're like, oh. Yeah. His buddy. Did you see what Thespis did? Yeah. His buddy, he goes, do you think this will be good? And you're like, oh my gosh. It's like having to sit across from someone playing a guitar. You're like, I don't know, man. I don't know. He's really committed. Yeah. That's what I thought. I might do it in a joke, but I thought about the idea of the joke is being, I can't handle commitment in a small area.

hmm that's the idea so a guitar oh i think yeah like that's the problem i don't have the i don't have a problem with it in a big area but i have a problem with commitment in a small area yes and i think that's what hurts with uh auditions when you do auditions yep it's the commitment in a small area commitment with intimacy and it's they're like full-on be this person yep in this area and you want to go it's not really uh

I don't even know if you're going to get the best thing out of it. Yeah. Because you're, you know, it's like, I don't know. There's not, they need to like, you need to, I need to, you need to see them play, you know, otherwise you're kind of like in my head, I think when you do auditions, you would be, I know you got to do auditions, but it's almost like, I just need to hear the person. I just need to, you know,

I would like to see them act in something. Yes. And then I just need to see them as a person. I think that should be the way it is. Auditions are like, I mean, what are we doing? These guys have a great resume. Go look them up. You know what they're capable of. And now you're going to make them come in here. Yeah, yeah. You almost wouldn't even have the audition process.

You would just go, you should, by the time you get to the level of like a movie, well, you should have enough work. So if you're young, you're like, well, then you got to go make stuff. Then you have to go audition. Then you got to go, well, you either have to go audition, but yeah, it should be at a smaller scale. And then otherwise, yeah. Yeah.

It is weird that like, you know, any other profession, it's like, all right. So, you know, you were the CEO of this company. And we were thinking about hiring you for this company, but I need to see you go delegate duties now. Go over to this business and start bossing people around. Fire that guy. Yeah. And you go, all right, I'll do it. Hey, buddy, you're fired. I might not even be hired.

But you are definitely fired. But you're, but I can tell you one thing. We'll both be leaving today. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, like, I mean, these big actors, I don't think they're auditioning, but it's, you know, that's what I've had. The only last one I did was a movie I did not get.

But it was, and I did it over Zoom. I think they want, mine, I think they always want to, in their head, they're like, I want this guy to get it. But then when they really, when they really deal with me, they go. What was the movie that you watched?

Are you allowed to say? I don't know. It's a Coen Brothers movie. Yeah. So that's where it was. I remember you talking about that. It would be like, that's the only ones that you would do. But then I also wouldn't curse. I make them. I mean, I'm just, you know, I really, you get back into a thing where I go, just make your own. Yeah. Yeah. I got so many, you know, I'm like, so they have cursing in it. And I'm like, well, I'm not going to, I've made it this long. Yeah.

Now, you're like, I'm not going to do it. So they were like, we don't care. You don't have to curse. You know, I was like, the whole movie would have curse. I'm not saying I'm not going to control the whole movie, but my part, that's the plan, you know, is to be like my stuff. I mean, I'm hoping if it's Nate laying on it, it's all of it's under the. Yeah, it's all implied. And that's the goal with the movies that I make or if I get to make them.

Because I think we can make this Sicario. Yeah. Put Charlie Brown in there. I think I can make Sicario. Bates. With Charlie Brown. You know what I'm... Yeah. Well, what I say, my thing that I tell them at the... Yeah, I go, Bates could play all these parts. Put a mask on him. I'm Benicio Del Toro's guy. Yeah. Just reenact that scene. He comes out with a... You're a cartel guy. He comes out with a gun. Bates comes out with a gun. It's pointed towards him. Yeah.

And then we get, which houses they work. Yeah. It's a safety off. Yeah. He keeps, he's off on the safety at all times. So when he wants to not fire, he's always, it's always off. I kill multiple. It's always on the wrong part. It's always going off in his holster. Accidentally. He gets, he would get every gunfight started, not on purpose. Yeah.

But we would all be in one. Sorry. They go, that cruised the most gunfights. You're like, do they? Why? And they go, because the one guy does not, he can't wrap his head around the safety. And he doesn't know when one's going one way and when one's going the other way. And that's, yeah. I always say, I can make movies now when I pitch movies, I go, I'm going to start with the TBS version.

So all these movies can air on TBS. I'm just going to start with the TBS version. So I won't ever make the...

I'll just make the one that can already go on TV. - With commercials. - So it doesn't have to be with commercials. So when you're at a movie theater. - Get up, go get a drink. - I'm gonna have commercials in there. - Yeah, that's great. - You can get up, everybody go pee. - Yeah, come right back. - Might not be bad to have some commercials in there. - That's not a bad idea, actually. - You go in there, right when you're in it, just go like, if you have a long movie, be like, we're gonna throw commercials in here. - If you had the option to go see a movie, one of them you pay regular ticket price,

oh and it's as is and the other option is it has commercials like on television but it's free

I think people would definitely, you know what? People would maybe do that to go like, and you could go, yeah. I just don't know if it's going to really add up enough to be like, you're like, so 200 people have to go, you know? Yeah. But it's, yeah, I think, yeah. They would have to sell a lot of concessions. Right. To get the money back. I think you double or triple your concession sales if you had a break every day. I think if you live in the PG, PG-13 world though, that's the, you know, that's what the other one I tell them. I go,

I'm probably going to start a PG. You can talk me into PG-13. I just got to know why are we PG-13. I got to know the reasons. I don't want it to be because of cursing.

Yeah, yeah. Weirdly enough. I have a lot of crazy rules, but they're only my rules that I make. I'm not trying to make anybody do anything. Right. I want to see a movie like Sicario where it's just like, yeah, gum it. Yeah. But I think you could do that. This dagnabbit gum. You could do. I think I could get away with it because it's not about that. Right. I would not. And it's funnier. I'm just telling you now. Be a comedy. I'm talking about now. Now, when I made the movie, those would just quietly not be in the script. Yeah.

Yeah. It wouldn't be a big deal. That's what I try to do with my act. You just quietly don't have this stuff in there. Yeah. You're not trying to – yeah, I'm just – it's my – look, I know it's not easy and I'm a problem, and that's why I've gone the long route of having to do it this way. I think it's admirable. I think it's awesome. Because I've had to do it. And still, nothing is gone. We have not shot anything. No.

I'll tell you the opposite of that is when I auditioned for Eastbound and Down, I happened to be visiting my mom at that time, and I had to record the scene. Me as Jed Forney and my mom off camera reading Kenny Powers' lines that had cuss words in it. My mom, sweet Southern Baptist lady, never heard her cuss. I said, Mom, I need to do this audition. Do you mind just reading this part and I'll do this part? And she was reading ahead. She goes...

Well, if it's for my son. Yeah, and she did it. There's a tape out there about a Betty Reap cussing like a sailor. As Danny McBride. If that just floated around her church, it would be... I know. She'd be careful. Excommunicated, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough when you got to get everybody to do it. I'm trying to think if I had...

cursing in auditions. That's probably why I didn't get in. They go, he's not doing all the lines. Do I have to read these three words in a row? I go, I just don't think, could I try something else? Yeah. And they're, yeah, that is a lot. That probably does hurt you on an audition. Yeah. I refuse to say some of your lines. I changed it. Yeah. I changed it. I punched it up a little bit. This character you've been building? Yeah. You have a picture for all this? Yeah. I go, hmm.

I would like to, oh, dude, going through these scripts because I get these scripts. That's what I do all the writing because I go through. I mean, there's one that I'm, it's a soft R that I mean, you got to get it down to what I want it to be. You can imagine how far, I mean, I'm like, no, no, no. I mean, just gone. So I have to go, I will sit with the writer and

Yeah. Because I was like, I just, I'm trying, I don't want to be a bother to you. Like, I really am not trying to, I am not better than anybody. I go, I watch the movies that are not this. I'm just trying to do what I'm saying. I don't want my parents to be mad at me. That's all I'm trying to do. That's all I'm trying to do. Right. So I go, I just sit there and I go, I'll go, I'll sit through the entire script with you and we can go through it and I can tell you what I'm uncomfortable with and what I'm not.

You know, like, I'm not going to... I can tell you right now, I'm not going to say anything. My side, your side, here's the words I'm okay with. Right. If I'm in charge of... Yeah. Right. Well, you've got to that point where you can... We're safe. We're not to that point yet. It could all go... They could go... No. We have a movie greenlit. Still, I think stuff can still not go. Oh, okay. I don't think it... I do have a greenlit. There's... Look...

All indications, there should be a plan that we're trying to shoot a movie before I go out on this tour. It's looking like whether it's the one that's in the article or it's another one. And there's a chance it could be another one, not that article. There's a chance. And not that the other one would be shot. We're trying to do a – there's just a very tight window with the tour schedule. And so, yeah. Yeah.

I wonder if I'm supposed to talk about this stuff or not. Now that I think about it. But I don't know. Is it called Sicario 2? It's the third one. Because there's already a second one. So I'm doing a third one. And it's Laser Tag. The PG version. The PG version. It's Laser Tag. And you get a lot of... Rats! You...

Cartel got me again. I might have to go back to Charlie Chaplin because I'm going to be so, well, these words are just so mean now. And so I go back, I'm bringing back silent movies where we can just be very nice to each other and just slap you on the head. You've come a long way from words are all that matter. Words are all that matter. Now you're like, I'm doing silent. Now I do one to no words. Yeah. Let's just say I'm going to have a lot of fun movies come out. Yeah.

uh all right we probably gotta be done yeah probably we probably didn't even get into all acting no oh no maybe one thing yeah well that'd be good we'll do acting and and throw in some charlie chaplin okay yeah all right yeah charlie chaplin acting without acting you gotta imagine how great of a stunt guy that guy was yeah oh yeah just his charisma like he could have he's like a athlete yes you're a real athlete like he he would be a stunt guy today yeah uh

I mean, if he was, you know, he was smooth the way he could, you know, a whole building would fall down around him. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah. Uh, all right. Uh, I have no idea where I'll be.

I think I'll be here. Well, you just announced Big Dumb Eyes Tour out. I got a big tour. Yeah. We have a big tour. Yes. It is a pre-sale starts today. Eyes. E-Y-E-S is the code. Go get that. If you don't see your city, your city will be added. I promise you. It's just what we have for the 25. So, yeah. Go get it.

Doing a little show in New York. Little New York. September 27th. Madison Square Garden. Yeah, that's crazy. You're doing Nashville, right? Yeah, Nashville, Bridgestone. That's in December. So it's like a year from probably close to now. That's near you. Yeah.

Well, December 13th. It's just funny. That's what it was. December 13th. I'll be at Hyena's Comedy Club. All right. This is the one that got you back. Yep. Yeah. Yep. We need some tickets. I mean, well, it's looking good. Nice.

He goes, hey, thank you. Yeah. Where's your camera? We don't even give you a camera. Where's your camera at? He's kind of in the middle. Hey, he's doing all right. He's between two cameras. He's between two cameras. It was so funny, though, because Nate was getting real. We need to talk. Then he felt bad. He's like, no, he's doing good. He's doing good. You know what? We need people to sell their tickets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This weekend, sell your tickets to Brian Brakes.

December 13th, that's it. And then January 3rd and 4th, I'm at Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky. Great way to start the new year. Yeah, I'm actually going to be there this coming weekend. All right. I'll be at the Comedy Off-Broadway, Lexington, December 5th, 6th, and 7th. It's the best. And then I'm going to...

then Wilmington, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Charlotte for the rest of the year. Oh, like you'd be at home kind of pretty much North Carolina run. Stay close to the family for the holidays. He's here to drive. Yeah. Yep. I got a private show this weekend. Uh,

Then I'm back doing public shows. Oh, you're going back to public. Back to public shows. You are going to allow the public to see your idea. That's right. December 13th, Florence, Alabama at the Shoals Theater. That's where Laura was born. In Florence. Beautiful town. Beautiful theater. Come out and see me. And then 2025, I'm everywhere. Detroit, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, Boston, Hartford, Connecticut, LA.

All of them. Kansas City. Everywhere. So check it out. Aaron Webber. This is Aaron, by the way. Yeah, and that's all public. Those are all public shows. Next year is public shows. I'm done with private shows next year. Yeah, I bet there'll still be. I got a few. He's got a few. Yeah, he's got a few, but he's not going to talk about them. I won't even mention them. You won't even know. I need you to know I could be working. He could be working, and I am working. It's just a private group hired him. Yeah. Private detective group. Yeah, private detective group.

All right. I think that's it. John, good to see you. Good to see you guys. Thanks for having me, man. You just fit right in. You just really fit in with us. You don't even feel like a guest. Yeah. That's exactly what I want. You're kind of not a guest. You've been on enough. You're in with us. I think you have the record now. I'll be the dusty alternate.

Yeah. Greg's been on quite a few times. Yeah, Greg's been on. John Reed, Greg Warren, like the guys that have come in and hung out with you. I'm honored to be a regular. All right. We love you. See you next week. Bye. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

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