231: #231 Fairy Tales
01:57:06 Share

How do you feel when you switch to GEICO and save on your car insurance? It's like going to work on Thursday morning and thinking to yourself, just one more day until Friday. But then, somebody walks into the elevator and says, Happy Fri-yay! Then you check your phone quickly and discover today is actually Friday. So yes, Happy Fri-yay, random stranger in the elevator. Happy Fri-yay indeed.

Yep, switching and saving with GEICO feels just like that. Get more with GEICO. Okay, welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Nateland podcast. Hello folks. Hey bear. Boom, we're having a good time here. I'm here with Brian Bates as always. We've been having a good time. We do the ad reads before now and we've been having a lot of fun. I'm here with Aaron Weber as well. I like that because we're already kind of rocking and rolling. Yeah.

It feels good. These guys are two of my best friends, and I'm just happy to be here with them. It's the most wonderful time of year, too, and I can feel it. There's a magic in the air. It's gross weather in Nashville right now. We're on the cusp of a good snow. Can't you feel it? It's just kind of gross rain right now, but something's going to turn. Something's going to happen. We're going to get a magical snowfall here in the Christmas season.

My daughter, earlier, I asked her what was her favorite song. I'm trying to have conversation with her. She says the Elsa song. Let It Snow. Let It Go. And I'm not a big fan of it, but I can recognize that Let It Go, it is a good song. Yeah, it's catchy. It's a good song. And the girl that sings it really does a good job. Idina Menzel. Yeah, she really... Broadway legend. John Travolta. She really belts it out. Your guy, John Travolta, remember when he butchered her name? Yeah, I have seen that clip.

Adele something. Yeah. So I asked her, what was her favorite song? She said that. And I said, why is that your favorite song? She said, because of the snow. And then I go, you do love the snow. I go, why do you love the snow? And she said, because of Elsa. That's some real circular reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's smart.

Your daughter's trapped in a loop. Yeah. Yeah. She likes to eat snow. Well, country singer Zach Bryan asked people, what's their favorite Christmas movie? And Dusty- I commented. Yeah. Mr. Non-Christmas, but you said- You can still enjoy a Christmas movie. Home Alone. Okay. National Lampoon Christmas Vacation. Okay. Planes, trains, and automobiles. Wow. Not a Christmas movie. How is it not? That's a Thanksgiving movie. Is it? They're trying to get home for Thanksgiving. Hmm.

It's been a while since I've seen it. That's how little Dusty celebrates the holidays. Think about this, though. Think about this. John Candy's got nowhere to go. He's there for Thanksgiving. He's going to be there for Christmas. Probably so. Come on. You're not getting rid of that guy. It's a fair point. That's funny, though. I was wondering why no one said it. I was like, it's such a good movie. Why are you not saying it? Yeah.

I almost replied, Zach, don't listen to Dusty. That's a Thanksgiving movie. Well, it's embarrassing. I've been embarrassed on Twitter and now publicly on this podcast. What about Groundhog's Day? Is that a good Christmas movie?

Born on the 4th of July. But, well, I'm officially embarrassed now, and thank you for that. Well, we're learning. It's an exciting time here, Nate Land. A lot going on. This is a busy time of year. Nate's not here, but you know what Nate's got going on. He's got the Big Dumb Eyes World Tour that's on sale now. I just saw Nate.

You did see him in Vegas, right? I was in Las Vegas this past week. It was a great time. And Nate was there for a night. Yeah. And we hung out. How cool. We hung out. It was great. He had his crew there. I had my crew there. And we hung out at the Wynn. The Wynn. It's a very nice casino. Yeah. I had about 14 cigars. And because I don't gamble, I don't drink, there's nothing for me to do.

So I'm just carrying around an ashtray in one of the nicest hotels I've ever been in. You got to have one vice if you're there. Smoking a cigar. Yeah, I love it. And it was great. Nick Novecki was there having a cigar and a couple of glasses of wine. And Nick was pretty lit up. It was a good time. Yeah. And it was fun. We all hung. And Nate was very nice to my openers, Vince Fabra, Connor Larson.

uh, very nice to those guys and took care of them. And, uh, it was a good time. That's great. I was like, I was very thankful for it. Cause I was like, Oh good. Nate shown him a good time. Now I don't have to, cause I hate fun. Everybody knows that about me. I hate fun. Right. Uh, people think when I'm having fun, it's a good time, but I'm like, no, I hate this. Well, how do you show them a good time? Like what are y'all doing? Well, they gambled, you know, they did a little craps and, uh, a game called Baccarat maybe. And, uh,

I sat down. One of the guys tried to coax me into playing, offered me money. I turned it down. The nerve. Yeah, I know. The audacity of somebody. No, it was nice of him. It was a nice gesture. All of his crew was very nice to me, and they're fans of this podcast. Right. And they were all very nice, and they were having fun. But I'm not into it. This is one... There is a moral thing that I'm against gambling. Okay. But also...

This is my fear. I feel like I got a little addictive personality to a degree. If I do something and I like it, it's hard for me not to do it again. So if you play one hand of craps, you're going to do whatever the gambling equivalent of 34 cigars is. Yeah. Well, if I gamble and win...

If I lose, well, I'll be like, oh, that sucks. I never want to lose my money again. My fear is that I will win. And then I'll be chasing that. Remember, I don't know if that podcast has actually come out yet. We recorded one a while back, and I told you that it was a New Year's.

1999, I think. Maybe it was 98 going into 99 that I danced with this. I was in high school and I danced with this college girl at a party and it was a lot of fun. And I chased that New Year's until I quit drinking. And you never got there again. I never got there again. Now, I had some girlfriends over New Year's, but never... Who's to say it won't still happen? Well, I think my wife is to say. Yeah.

But, yeah, so it's like I am afraid that I'll win and I'll – because obviously gambling has a grip on people. It does, yeah. I'm not saying everybody that gambles has a problem. Right. But I'm saying there's an allure to it that I don't want to be enticed by. Mm-hmm.

I'm sure you guys do a little sports gambling, but I don't think you're addicts out here. No, no. I'll go big swaths of time without even thinking about it. And then you're like, well, I want to watch this game. I want to make it a little fun. Yeah. Let's have a little investment in this game. I can't even get you guys to buy into sports being rigged.

Yesterday. I'm not watching a lot of football this year. Turn on the Titans game. I'm watching it. Almost immediately, there's one of the worst calls I've ever seen. Hurts the Titans' momentum.

And I'm like, I text you guys about it, and you're both like, ah, it's part of the game. It is part of the game, but Brian brought up a good point. There are still bad calls, obviously. That's just part of it. That's part of humans are fallible, right? That's part of it. But there are fewer bad calls because of the instant replay, because of the review process. I just think that one in particular, everybody seemed upset by it.

by it. The announcers seemed upset by it. Obviously, the Titans coach. I've watched enough football. There's so many bad calls. It's part of the game. That's why. And then as I watch later, I keep watching the Titans play and I go...

It don't matter. They ain't going to do nothing. Even when the play happened, I'm like, it doesn't matter. It does not matter. If the season were on the line or something, it'd be a bigger deal. They looked really bad. I mean, I didn't watch her very long. I have kids. It is hard to watch now. But, you know, I watched long enough to see a Bengals player. I don't know if he intercepted or he just almost ran a touchdown and then just dropped the ball about the one-yard line. Yeah.

That happens so much. They're giving it to the Titans, and the Titans are like, nah, we don't want to mess with it. We're trying to get that draft picked. You think he had money on the game, and right when he got there, he was thinking about the points spread? No, I don't think so. I think sports is rigged through the officials, not through the players. Now, there might be a player once in a while, but I feel like it's too risky to get caught. Well, if the NFL is conspiring against the Tennessee Titans—

They're doing a good job. Yeah. If you're an NFL fan, if you want to learn more about this, Nate will be on the Netflix NFL Christmas Game Day as a special guest commentator. That's Christmas Day, 1 p.m. Eastern only on Netflix. We hope they get those streaming issues figured out. Do you want me to do...

You just read that. Do you want me to do this now? I'm trying to weave these in organically. I like that. So you guys keep talking. I'm going to find a way to... Oh, you've already done two of them. I've already worked through Nate's. Now I'm going to try to find a way to weave in that you've got a low ticket alert for your special taping February 28th at the Walker Theater in Chattanooga, Tennessee. And that's going to be... I'm going to find a way to get that in. You can get those tickets at DustySlay.com. Okay. And I've talked to...

uh danielle alfano at uh the comedy cash right and she messaged me and said so so are we racing she said the green room's almost done oh man we just need to name it she wants to name the green room and i think if i beat her it'll be called the dusty sleigh green room which it should be called anyway but if i beat her club basically exactly that's what i've always said yeah and uh

But, you know, I'm into it, you know. Since I went to Canada and I swam in the water and I realized that my shoulders are not as in good shape as they used to be, I've been doing a few exercises to keep the shoulders. Just that? You know, various things. I'm not going to bust into full on exercise routine. Jazzercise. But just some kind of stuff to keep it flowing. Water aerobics.

And I feel good. I mean, you give me, I'm again, long distance is never going to be my thing, but I'm in for a short one Olympic size pool distance. Not back. Not there and back. Not there and back. Just there. 100 meters.

Yeah, whatever. Yeah. Okay. All right. That's not nothing. That's what I'm into. That's a long distance. Let me get a couple things out of the way, and then we can really get into what we want to talk about. But do buy some tickets to that special. Do buy some tickets. Low ticket alert for Dusty's next special. We don't know where the special will be, but you saw the last one on Netflix, and the next one is going to be just as good, if not better. This kid is getting good at comedy.

Mike Vecchione, who's a friend of the podcast, he's been on a few times. Not personally of ours, but of the podcast. I mean, how well do you know Mike? I know Mike. I like him. Are you friends with him? No, I do like him. Okay, yeah. He's the man. I'll tell you what. We went to Hattie B's one time, and he ordered like a broiled chicken or something. And it took a long time because Hattie B's was not ready for that. They were like, what? Yeah.

This guy from. Nobody gets broiled. Yeah. Well, he's very health conscious. I'm sure it was something to do with, you know, he takes cold showers. He's that kind of guy. Yeah. He stayed, but his next hour special right here in Nashville, December 28th, you can still get tickets at nashville.zainies.com. And of course, check out our sister podcast, the consumers every Tuesday. Don't make me come back there every Thursday. A lot going on here at Nate land, a lot going on in Nashville. It's an exciting time. How do you think Greg Warren feels about you calling his podcast? The

I hope he honestly, it'd be nice for him to just feel something at his age, just to feel anything. Wow. That was a lot. I'm sorry.

I like Greg a lot. Well, shout out to Dustin Nickerson. The Tonight Show would have been last night. Did he really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, you didn't know that? No, I didn't know that. Yeah, Dustin Nickerson did the Tonight Show on Tuesday. Wow. If you're watching this when the show comes out, Nate's doing the Tonight Show tonight. All right. Jimmy Fallon. Wow. And I think he's doing the Today Show also. Doing the Today Show and the Tonight Show. Nate's everywhere. Yeah. Except here. The Tomorrow Show. There should be a Tomorrow Show. Yeah. When would it air? Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

And did you mention the Christmas special? I don't think I did, but I think people are pretty sick of hearing that. Oh, I thought you did, but... I'm kidding. No, it's tomorrow night. It airs tomorrow night on CBS. I hate that I'll be gone. I'm doing some military shows this weekend, and I'll be gone on Thursday. What does a military show mean? I'm doing Air Force bases. I'm doing Little Rock, Arkansas Air Force Base, Columbus, Mississippi, and Shreveport, Louisiana. Are these private shows, or is this like USO? What is it? M.

I think it's private for the military. Oh, right. But I still, you know, there may be people that are at that Air Force base that listens to this podcast and has no idea. Yeah, hop on in there. I want them to come. That's exciting. And Nate's Netflix special comes out next Tuesday. It's a big week.

For Nate. For everyone. Not for me. It's a big week for me. I got a little Christmas shopping to finish. You got to have a little positivity in your life. It's a big week. Listen, if we're all part of this podcast, if Nate's boat's rising, we're all rising here. Rising tide lifts all boats. Yeah. If his boat's rising, our boats are rising, unless it's sinking, as yours is sinking.

Mine's taking on some water. But the analogy is Nate's the tide, not a boat. Maybe. Maybe.

Not my analogy. My analogy is that he's a boat. We're all boats. So what's the tide rising? What is it? It's good fortune. Okay. Okay. His boat's rising. And so we're all in the ocean too. Yeah. So our boats are rising too. Has nothing to do with Nate rising. The tide is the success. Oh, okay. It's just wafted over all of us. Yeah. We're all in the Nate land universe is the water. Right.

Right. And we're boats in it. Okay. That's beautiful. Okay. Nate's a cruise ship. I'm trying to bring you guys in here. I know. I appreciate it. I'm just trying to understand the analogy. You guys want to be anchored down to the bottom of the ocean while Nate's boat goes up. I'm saying we're all in this together here. Let's plow ahead here. 30 knots. Nate wants us all to succeed. Yeah. I think so too. Let's do it.

Let's be honest. Most people really want for the holidays is to see their favorite people more often, which can get difficult. That's why this year the best gift you can give is an Aura digital picture frame named the number one digital photo frame by Wirecutter. Aura frames are incredibly smart and easy to use, allowing you to up

Upload unlimited photos and videos directly from your phone to the frame. Plus, you can order the frame online, preload it with photos and videos using the Aura app, so it's ready to go right out of the box. As you know, we just had a baby. Everybody wants to see pictures of the baby. I can't keep up. I'm not texting everybody back, so we just got an Aura frame for everybody. For the grandparents, you just upload. Brian's doing it right now. Just uploaded a new picture to his.

And it's the easiest way to share things like that with the family so they don't feel like you're missing out and you don't feel like you're cutting people out of your life. And they can also have the app too. So when he uploads something that they don't like, they can delete. Delete it. Exactly. Easy to do. Save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Matte Frames.

by using promo code Nate at checkout. That's A-U-R-A frames.com promo code Nate. This deal is exclusive to listeners. So get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply.

Let's talk about a weekend. Okay. Where were you, Brian? You were in Dallas. Friday, I was in Fort Worth at... Sorry, not Dallas. Fort Worth. Big difference, they say. Yeah. Especially for people who live there. Yeah. I think Fort Worth is probably more particular about that than Dallas. Yeah. Yeah. Here's a great thing about Southwest for a short time. Airlines. You say some good things, I'll say some bad things. Yeah. Southwest Airlines. Okay.

What were you thinking? I think the Southwest, like the part of the country. Oh, right. Southwest airlines. Uh, I get to my gate Friday, my buddy, Rick Roberts on the same flight going and coming back. We sit by each other on the flight, catch up the whole time. You can't do that on the other flight unless you happen to be. That's right. Beside them. So that's pretty nice. And you can't do it on Southwest. If he's a one and you're C 15, you can't, if he'll save you a middle seat. Yeah. Yeah.

So that was great. So anyway. That is fun. I did Hyenas, Friday Night, Fort Worth. Sold out first show. So they said, let's add a second show. What did you and Rick talk about? We talked about you a little bit. What'd you say? You know, just some... He's got some leaves he needs to get rid of. His head's getting so big. I picked up leaves on the way to the show today. He needs to get brought back down to earth somehow. I don't know what it's going to take, but he's just... The ego's out of control. Yeah. That's what it was probably. Okay. Something like that. So you...

Well, Rick would say that. No, he wouldn't. No, I'm just kidding. I love Rick. So you sold out the first show? Yeah. Boom. Boom. Added a second show. Did not sell that one out. What's the opposite of a selling out? You did it, though. This happens to me sometimes, and there's nothing more sad. You sell out a show.

And then they go, let's add another one. And then when you add that second one, you find out how many tickets you can sell in that city. Yeah. And you're like, ugh, should have kept it at the wall. When you add a show, anything less than another sellout feels like a disappointment. Yeah. You know, I could have just done one really great show. Yeah. But I did, well, I don't know. Was the second one good? I mean, sometimes those shows can be the most fun. It was fun. It was still fun. A lot fewer people, but fun. We just got loose. Yeah.

Had some fun. Yeah, Brian got weird in there. Did you get dirty? A little dirty. I've been trying to get you to do it. I said last week on Nate Land Live here, I said, they call him Breakfast Bates because he's the best meal of the day. Now, I know it's most important, but I said best meal. And I like that. And then I said I want to be Brian's manager, and I want him to get dirtier. Okay.

Well, I got a little string of church shows I got to do first. Yeah, get those out of the way. I'm ready for edgy baits. I think a bandana, not total bandana, but bandana like Willie Nelson kind of bandana. Oh, no. Roll it up like an 80s biker gang. Yeah, yeah. Maybe do the cutoff gloves.

So you used to want me to do that thing to grow my hair. I still do. Now you want me to cover it up. You just don't like looking at this. No, no, no. Just this. Just this. Okay. So you still have the hair. Okay. I still want you to do the hair thing. And yeah, I mean, that's what I'm talking about. Grow a mustache.

Is there anything about me you like, Dustin? Change everything. I love it all. But what I'm saying is. Your point of view? Get rid of it. I like to see people switch it up. Aaron switches it up. Your stupid face. How do I switch it up? Aaron used to be clean shaven and only wear khakis.

I had long hair, no beard, khakis. It was a wild look. Yeah. I thought I was crushing it at the time. You were, though. And then you go, I was not. It's very nice of you to say. But he's switching it up. I like to see him switching it up. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah. Just shave a couple of lines in the side of your head. Just something different. Yeah. Yeah. Get a gold tooth. Just one. Wear in the mouth. Right here. Right in the front? Yeah. Uh-huh.

Well, again, Dusty, I like me for me. And if you don't like me for me, then that's your problem. It's not about not liking you. And it's not about you not liking yourself. You would just like me more if I changed my life. No, it's like an adventure. Yeah. It's like an adventure. Mm-hmm.

You come in, you give Ruth some attitude. You tell your kid to go to a room. Yeah. You wear a leather vest. That's what I'm talking about. Then I come in with bruises on my face. Yeah, but now it looks like you've been into a gang fight. Yeah, yeah. Well, while Aaron's working on whatever he's working on here, where were you, Dusty? I was in Las Vegas. I did a show at the David Copperfield Theater at the MGM Grand Hall.

It was a lot of fun. Vegas is not for me, though, I'll tell you that. I talk about all the time how I miss being able to smoke cigarettes inside of places, but Vegas is the type of place where you go, I wish we couldn't do this.

because it's too much. It is just too much. It's too loud. I'm old, I guess. It's too loud. It's too, what do you call it? When you get- Dirty. When there's just, yeah, well, it's dirty. There's just too much light, overstimulation. Oh, yeah. A lot of lights and colors. And this is what I noticed. I was walking around with Connor. We got there early. I was going to do a daytime cigar because I had a free day. And all we wanted-

was two chairs sitting next to each other where we could just talk to each other. Yeah. Couldn't find it. No. Couldn't find it. There's no chairs unless you're at a table or a slot machine. Yeah. And there's nowhere to set anything down. Why don't you go get bottle service at a club somewhere? Everything's got a little slant to it. In the casino? Everywhere. You can't set anything down. I...

You said all the tables are at an angle? Everything. There's nowhere to set anything down. Water's 750. I'm dehydrated. It's a desert. There was no coffee pot or tea kettle in the room. I'm a big tea guy. I asked for a tea. I had a hotel contact.

In the end, the guy hooked me up. Okay. But I messaged him about 1 p.m., and he goes, I get in at 3. I'm going to try to take care of it for you. It wasn't until I got back to my hotel around midnight that the tea kettle was finally there. I messaged him earlier. I go, do you think the tea kettle's going to come? Yeah. And he goes, when I got in, there were 700 deliveries in front of you. And I'm thinking, well, I'm not trying to be –

you know, whatever. A diva. A diva. But I am doing a show here. I am a public figure. And I'm asking you this because my voice is going out. My picture is on the sign out there. Yeah. Exactly. This is not a luxury. I just need a tea kettle. I need to be able to heat some water. Yeah. 700, I don't believe that. And then it finally came and they hooked it up. I mean, they brought me a gallon of water. Oh, there you go. And a bunch of honey. And I was, you know, I was all set. I was making teas for the crew.

But it was a really fun show. I met Steve Trevino, a comedian. Oh, he's great. Yeah. And it was great. We hung out a little bit. It was a lot of fun. You met Nate Bargatze? Well, I already know Nate, but I did see him and hung out with him. We hung out the other night, all of us, after the show. We did, yeah.

I wasn't there. And Dusty said, if all of us would smoke a cigar, they'd have to just let us do it in here. Yeah, if everybody just started smoking, restaurants would finally go, all right, you know what? Do it in here. Do it. We need the business. If the whole restaurant agreed, let's light up right now. Yeah. They're not going to kick us all out. Right. They need the business. Yeah. But...

Nobody will do it. Everybody likes fresh, clean air. I do like fresh, clean air, except for smoke. I like there to be smoke in it. But I don't like a lot of chemicals in the air. But anyway, it was a lot of fun. What about you, Aaron? Where were you at? I had a show in Florence, Alabama at the Shoals Theater. The show was canceled. I found out a lot of people weren't notified that the show was canceled. And in fact, tickets were still being sold.

the day of to a show that had been canceled for over a week. So I want to apologize to, I had a few people reach out and say, came to the theater,

Saw your name was not on the marquee. I wonder what happened. I bought tickets an hour ago, and then they found out the show was canceled. The event was not taken down from the ticket service. So as you can imagine, a little frustrating to me. I feel bad that people drove, that people basically wasted a Friday night to come see a show that had been canceled. So I'm sorry about that. I feel bad about that. Sorry to all three of you. Go ahead, Aaron.

There's nothing sadder than thinking you're going to see an Aaron Webber show

And then it not happened. Or, yeah, or just any show. Nothing to do with me. Specifically in Aaron Webber. Especially if they thought they were seeing beardless, long hair, tacky Aaron. Fresh off, falling off the side of a mountain. I had a beard at that point. Yeah, let me tell you something. I was not hiking during those times. I'm going to tell you two favorite stories of both of you. My favorite story from Brian is bombing at

the event with his mom there that outdoor event so great because what i like about it it's my pain no because it's not a reflection on brian's comedy that is a no win situation yeah and the fact that you had to do it in front of your mom is really sad and then you had to sit with her i would have

Told my mom, I'll see you later. I'll be back to pick you up. And then they tried to auction off two CDs. Yeah. Great story. Thank you. My favorite Aaron story is that he was hiking and fell down the side of a mountain into a creek and then had to climb himself back up. Oh, it was just...

It could have been in a movie, dude. I mean, Chris Farley, Black Sheep. And then walk back to the car all muddy. Covered in mud. It was wet and cold. And somebody said something. I walk past a father and a daughter, and he goes, oh, you had your little fun out here, huh? It's like, no, it was actually one of the worst days of my life so far. But that's really funny. Not can I help you. Of course not.

I mean, it was obvious I had fallen in something. And he's like, oh, you had your good time, huh? But that's the energy people have at national parks. These are great. This is the old Aaron look right here. I mean, this is me on the biggest night of my career at the time. That's me on stage with Brad Paisley. And I thought, biggest night of my career. What do I break out?

Let's get the hair nice and long. Let's get a Notre Dame windbreaker. And then an Alabama State University hat backwards. Yeah. And that's the look. And I thought, golly, dude, if I get a photograph of this, my life will change. Rick Diamond came through for you. Rick Diamond does come through every now and then. If you want to pay $800 for a picture of yourself, he's the guy. Yeah. You have three of these? Yeah.

You have one in every room of your house? Well, you just go on Getty Images and it's like, oh, do you want a high quality picture for $600? It's like, no. I did this show too with you. This Brad Paisley show. You were on the show. And actually, if you look up Aaron Weber, Brad Paisley, it's also pictures of you. Yeah. Which I don't appreciate. Years later, I did another show with Brad Paisley. Same club. I look...

Whereas you look completely different. You look exactly the same. I look exactly the same. Brad Paisley, I had no idea. He could have never met me before. You know who else was on that show? Greg Warren. Isn't that funny? That is funny. It was the three of us. Pretty hot show. It was a hot show. Brad Paisley acted like he had never met me in his whole life. And I'll never forgive him for it. But here's him with his best friend Post Malone. Yeah, exactly. And that's why it doesn't matter to me. Because obviously he's sold out country music. And who cares, right?

He could not have been nicer to us. To you. You're mad at him? No, no, he was super nice to you in the moment. I remember I bombed that interaction because he was like, you know, I've watched your videos. I liked you, but maybe tell me something about yourselves that I didn't know from your set. And Dusty goes, well, you know, I just, I love comedy. I like to smoke cigars. And he's like, oh yeah, that's great. And then he goes to me and he goes, what about you? And I go, same. Because I couldn't think of what to say. And he goes, oh.

All right. And then that was our only interaction. Yeah. But he's nice. Brad Paisley liked me so much, that first interaction. He told me that me and him should get cigars together. I remember that. And then next time I see him, he doesn't even know who I am. Well, he meets a lot of people. Me too. Me too. Me too.

I bet there's some people you don't remember. Nah. You remember everybody? I meet a lot of country singers. I remember them all. Well, he might be doing a little bit better than you, Dusty. So it might be a little bit easier for you to remember him. He asked you if he could do anything for you to help you out. He did, both times. So there you go. Second time I go, just remember me. Well, that's all I need. No, I did message him. I said, hey, you had said that you'd do, if I needed anything.

reach out so i did and he didn't do it yeah that's all right it happens yeah all right let's get to our comment let's get into it man but i will say this i just watched a reaction video to the song i'm gonna miss her uh you know the fishing song yeah great song of course really great yeah brad paisley's great really great song joking around is our thing here but what we do take seriously is our socks oh yeah

I can't stand when my socks have that irritating toe seam or they get twisted in my shoe. So I started to only wear Bombas, the most comfortable socks in the history of feet. Yeah, that's true. The holiday season Bombas are perfect gift for your work friends, cousins, or just anyone that's super picky and hard to buy for. Everyone I know that has tried them instantly loves the snug and comfortable fit. That actually is true. Yeah.

I'm sorry. You're getting really good at ad rates. Don't be surprised if you end up keeping a few things for yourself because Bombas use the coziest fabric, indulgent Sherpa.

Rich Merino wools, premium long staple cotton. These socks are so cushy. They're like walking on pillows and you can get that same softness all over with underwear and t-shirts too. Bombas even come in slippers. Slippers are designed with marshmallow like memory foam and are all wrapped up in Sherpa. But no matter what you get, you purchase it.

creates a very real clothing donation for someone experiencing housing insecurity during cold months. Something like a new pair of socks can make a big impact. Thanks to Bomba Royalist all over the world. They've donated over 140 million essential clothing items. I think you'll love Bomba, but even if you don't, you're still covered with a totally free and easy return or exchange.

So ready to feel good and do good? Yes. Head over to Bombas.com slash Nate and use code Nate for 20% off your first purchase. That's Bombas, B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash Nate. Code Nate at checkout. These comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast Reviews, and Nateland at NateBarguesi.com. Dusty, take it away.

Okay, Donna Worley. Great name. Rock music was a great episode. Thank you. Bonding with people over your shared love of rock and comedy, greats, is fun to do. And kind of magical to watch, too. Long live rock and Nate Land. All right. Thank you, Donna. Yeah, that's very nice, Donna. I appreciate that. It is...

I agree. Music and comedy is fun. I feel like as a comic, I get asked what comedians do I like the most, and I feel like that I'm really more interested in music than comedy. And I think a lot of musicians are very into comedy. I think it's something about being into the thing you can't do. Mm-hmm.

I don't know if this comment is in here, but I want to address it. Oh, I think it is. I don't even know what you're about to say, but I think it is. All right, well, I'll save it. Save it for the end. Okay. Yeah, yeah. We'll save the gripes for the end. Don't let me forget. Yeah. Because not everyone's as open-minded about hearing other people's musical tastes. We'll say that. Carrie Mueller says,

hey guys love you all and the podcast but i was disappointed in the rock music episode there are so many amazing rock bands you didn't mention like aerosmith bon jovi metallica and a lot newer bands like shine down or skillet and so many others oh you mainly focused on southern and classic rock what a failure that we didn't get to skillet

I mean, what an oversight in our research. This is what I'll say. It's so funny that you go amazing rock bands, and then the first two you mentioned are Aerosmith and Bon Jovi. I like Aerosmith and Bon Jovi. They're fine. And Metallica. I like them. Yeah. But let's not put Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, and Metallica in the same. I don't think the Rolling Stones got mentioned in the whole podcast either. Metallica's amazing. They're really good. I mean, you're right. You know.

But it's like, Carrie, come on. Is that your first episode listening to the podcast? Carrie, quite contrary. Come on. We rarely...

cover everything of a subject that's right and no shade to shine down or skillet those are just two very funny i don't even mention shine down or skill i don't know any shine down or skillet song i'm not saying i wouldn't like oh man talk about cake erasure what's that what's a shine down song uh god they had uh i think those are two christian bands i think shine down i might have heard skillet i've never heard of

Skillet has some stuff. Those are Christian bands? Yeah. Skillet is. I don't really know Shinedown. I appreciate the recommendation, Kerry. I will check them out. No, you won't. I will. But Aerosmith... Listen, I like Aerosmith, but I was having a conversation with a friend who's a musician, Paul, Paul Farvar, and...

He was not into Aerosmith, and he said he doesn't think they're one of the all-time greats. They latched on to a – they found a way to make catchy songs, and then it really has affected the way I hear them in the same way the Big Lebowski affected the way I hear the Eagles. Okay. Yeah. Or like that SNL sketch affected – Cowbell? Yes. Yes.

You can't even listen to that song without hearing the cowbell now. That's all they talk about. It happens. Princess Summerland. Great name. I see her comment a lot. Yeah, she's very nice. She's very nice. Yeah. This was a great episode. Sorry, Carrie. I think we came at Carrie pretty hard. Yeah. Carrie's my best friend. Yeah. Sorry, Carrie Mueller. The Mueller Report. I'd like to read your report.

Right? All right, let's move it along, huh? That seemed to have some different... I don't know what I'm talking about. I'd like to read your report. The Mueller report. Is that the only Mueller you know? That's the only Mueller I know. I can't think of another one. Is there an athlete or something named Mueller? I knew an Alice Mueller. I went to church with her. Bob Mueller, longtime news anchor here in Nashville. Oh, okay. Sorry, Bob. So...

This was a great episode. Can't believe you don't know Greg Allman and Cher were married and had a son, Elijah Blue Allman, who is lead in the band Deadsy. That's why they made their album together. Well, I had no idea. I don't know a lot about Greg Allman or Cher, and that blows my mind. I will say, in that picture, Cher was so hot.

I can't get over it. The picture of her and Greg. He looked photoshopped into that picture with a very hot chair. Yeah, Dusty couldn't get over it. I mean, I just look at that. I can't find it. Album cover? I mean, just pick any of it. I mean, Cher's hot, and I had no idea. He looks not good. I only know old Cher. I had no idea.

You didn't know that she was younger at one time? I knew she'd be younger, but I didn't know she was hot. You know what I mean? Well, yeah. Last week, Dustin said she was probably about your age there, but I bet she was younger than that, especially if she's having a baby. That's 1977. When was Cher born? She was born the goddess of pop. She was born in 1946. So she's 31 in that picture. Yeah. So that's pretty good. About 10 years younger than me. Yeah. Not bad. Royale with cheese. This is...

This guy came around to me, Royale with Cheese. I've seen him comment a lot, but he's commented some nasty things towards me. Royal with Cheese? I think it's like- Royale with Cheese. Yeah. Like Pulp Fiction. Like Pulp Fiction. Oh, I don't get it. I said AI was demonic, and he really came at me. Oh, is this guy working AI? I don't know. At one point, I thought it was Roy AI with Cheese.

But he's come around. We're friends now. Oh, snap. Well, we'll see after this. Oh, snap. That Dusty slash breakfast tension was legit. They'll probably say it wasn't next week, but that was real. No, it was real. Yeah, I don't deny anything. I don't care for Dusty. Yeah. I don't like him. Never liked him. But I have to work with him. I'm a professional. No, I made a joke that...

That Brian likes to give his whole schedule at the end when we're giving out dates for next week. And it seemed heated. I don't even think it seemed heated. I just think it was because it was the end of the episode. People didn't realize. They don't see us joking for the next. And I didn't mean it that way, but I was just, I was trying to be funny. And then, yeah, it...

It came out snippy. All I'll say is we're lucky the cameras turned off because things got heated after last week's episode. It did. Punches were thrown.

A lot of bad names were used. Yeah. That Dirty Brian came out. That's right, Dirty Brian. Well, we did a show right after that, you know, and I introduced Brian, and I think he should do this always. I introduced him as Brian Breakfast Bates. And I said they call him Breakfast because he's the best meal of the day. I know that's the second time I've said it on this podcast. You're clearly really proud of that. Well, I'm getting – I'm trying to brand –

Second time in the last 10 minutes. I'm a brand guy. Yeah. I'm a brand guy. I think you should smash an egg on your head on stage. Roy, I so agree with you. That's the new Gallagher. He smashes an egg over his head every set. Itty cat? Gerald Floyd. All right, guys. I have been y'all.

Oh, I think it's supposed to be with y'all. Okay. I have been with you. Edit that out. I don't think so. All right, guys. I have been with y'all since episode one and have enjoyed most of them.

But Aaron's comment on no one saying they like Elvis's music crossed the line. Oh, my goodness. I got a lot of people fired up. All I'm saying, and I think a lot of people will agree with this, I've been around people my whole life. I used to play in a band. I have friends that were obsessed with music. I've listened to a lot of music. I've been in the car with people before. Long drives.

where you listen to hours and hours of music.

Not once has somebody gone, yo, throw on Hound Dog by Elvis. Nobody listens to his music anymore. I'm sure you listen to it like, let's take a trip down nostalgia lane and think about Elvis. But nobody's pulling up Elvis's music. It is true. Okay. I pulled it up this morning. He's immensely popular, but it's like, I've never been in a car and go,

uh what do you want to listen to elvis yeah obviously some elvis music i'm not never even been on a date trying to impress a girl and that's not elvis love song that's not me trashing elvis that's just that's a reality i used to make out to old pink floyd albums oh yeah comfortably numb i would go i would go even older where it gets a little weirder oh that was my move okay

Elvis not quite weird enough to get the ball rolling. No, no. No, but Elvis is... I just don't think people care about his music like other people. I have an Alexa in my house. Sorry, Bestie.

They're listening. Yeah, I mean, you don't mind the spying on you. I don't mind. And it'll put up suggestions and put up a little screen. You got no secrets. That's what I'm trying to do, get you some secrets. Yeah, then I'll need some privacy. I'm trying to get some skeletons in your closet, Brian. Your closet door is wide open right now. It suggested Elvis' Blue Christmas. I thought, ah, I hadn't heard that song in a while. Christmas is different.

You know what I mean? Christmas albums. Yeah. Throw on some Elvis. Let's light a light up like the fire, hang some chestnuts and put on some Elvis. But,

But just in the car driving to work, nobody's throwing on Elvis. This guy's name is Gerald. For the most part, Gerald is an old school name. Right. I got to think Gerald is an old school guy. Not even old, just old school. Old school. Yeah. I got a brother-in-law named Gerald. It's an old, but you know, at this point, my brother-in-law's 50. I forget that we're like, you know, we're getting old. Yeah.

But it's an old school name. I bet Gerald, my brother-in-law, knows who Shine Down and Skillet is. Yeah, maybe. But he also may put on an Elvis Christmas album once in a while, you know?

Thanks for writing in, Gerald. Why would he know who Shinedown and Skillet are if they're newer bands? My brother-in-law is a real heavy metal guy. And I just think Shinedown and Skillet are heavy metal bands. No, it's not heavy metal. It's like rock music, though. It's not bad. I actually did a festival with Skillet. My brother-in-law likes Five Finger Death Punch, I think is a band, which seems really intense. Yeah, they get intense. I met either the guitarist or the bassist.

for Big Jay Oakerson in Las Vegas. And I met him. He's a very nice guy. He does a little stand-up. The heavy metal guys are always the nicest guys. Of course. Aren't they? Of course. They're so nice, but deep down, they got a darkness in them. That's right.

Just like old breakfast over here. Yes, exactly. Well. He is a heavy metal comic. That's how I think about Brian. Yeah. I covered that last week. Yeah. Okay. Just Jordan. Jordan. Just Jordan. Just Jordan. I'm a hip hop artist from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. The birthplace of hip hop. Yeah.

Edmonton's great, though. It is. Very good beef there. I love Edmonton. Very good beef. I love Edmonton. When Aaron mentioned Corey Wong and Corey Henry, I was very impressed. Well, I appreciate that. Thank you. Corey Wong and Corey Henry, both unbelievable musicians. Two of my favorites. I'm sorry I attacked where you're from. You can't see my hands right now, but we were all very impressed.

No, this is the comment that I wanted to say. My only regret is that I don't think Robert Plant, I'm picking my all-time favorite, not all-time favorite, but my all-time group, I wouldn't have put Robert Plant.

Now I have the benefit of hindsight now. I've thought about it a little more. I mean, I just felt like we were all pretty loose with it. And Aaron's like, I'm putting together a real band. I'm thinking about calling these guys and see if they'll get together. I mean, they could. Outside of Robert Plant, I think it's possible. A couple of those guys have played together. No, he's still alive. He might do it. But he's just... He did an album with Alison Krauss. Oh, did he really? Yeah. That was 20 years ago. And really bad. Yeah.

No, I was impressed with Aaron because I'll be honest, sometimes, and I don't mean this in any way, but sometimes I think they have a fairly...

basic music tastes sometimes. And then when you came out with all these musicians that I had never heard of, I was like, oh, maybe I'm out of touch. Yeah. Well, both things could be true. I'll give you my honest opinion because we're friends and we'll just get into it. Yeah. I think you have, of all the people I've met and of all the people I've talked about music with, you have the most narrow...

taste of anybody I've ever met. It's like there's a five-year range within one genre where if it's not that, you think it's garbage. I think I have. So I don't think I have a basic. I think I can find... I really do listen to almost everything and even pop songs that

aren't as musically interesting as other stuff. I can enjoy it, and I don't mind listening to stuff that you would call basic. It's not my favorite stuff, but I'll enjoy it. I'm not saying that you're basic. I'm saying... You're saying I have basic taste. Sometimes with music, if like I'll share some... I mean...

Like, one time you really trashed a Tom Petty song that I really liked. What are you talking about? It made me sad to this day. I like Tom Petty. It was a Tom Petty Southern accent song. It wasn't one of his greatest hits, but it was a B-side. And you said you didn't like it and hurt my feelings. Oh, I'm sorry. No, it didn't hurt my feelings, but I was disappointed by it.

But when you pulled out all these artists the other day that I had never heard of, I was like, whoa, where's this coming from? These aren't super obscure guys, but they're musicians that I like. And then I'm reading through the comments and everybody's impressed. Dusty got a little jealous because he thought he was the music guy.

And clearly you are. Well, I didn't think that I was, I can put together a playlist, but when you start breaking down people in the band and their names, I get lost a little bit, but, uh, I used to be super, I used to play with a group. I used to think I wanted to be a musician. Did you have a name? Yeah. What was your name?

Well, there are now a few of them are still playing together. They're the Alexander Lane band. They're really great. I think my special is going to have one of their songs as the intro song. Okay. Pretty cool. Yeah. Greg Roush experience. He was the guitarist. We were just named ourself after him. We were never like dropping albums, but we would just hang out and play. And that was my life for a long time. There's three guys in the band. Greg Roush, Alexander Lane, and Aaron. Alexander Lane is the street that they play. Oh, okay. But yeah.

Anyway. You know, it makes me, this reminds me. I was, I hung out with my cousin the other day. I've not seen him in a long time. And he has an album out there. Music? Yeah. And I was listening to it. I was like, this is pretty good. Yeah, yeah.

And, well, now I can't find it. Do you think, well, I might be too basic to like it, but maybe share it with me and I'll listen to it. I will. I mean, listen, you're not basic, okay? I just, I really, I do like a lot of everything. Oh, it's called, his thing's called Far Beyond Reason. Okay. And when I went on there, I listened to the first one of the top five. I didn't like it. Mm-hmm.

And then... No, but I didn't. I didn't. And then I was like, you know what? But I'm going to listen to the others. Is this country? And then two, three, four, and five, I was like, whoa, these are good songs. Yeah. What kind of music is it? It's hard to say. It seems like... It's on Spotify? One seemed a bit heavy for me. That's why I didn't like it. It's not country.

But as I got into it, yeah, on Spotify. What's his name? Far Beyond Reason. Far Beyond Reason. His name is Jonathan. Okay. But it's like Shepard. Oh. Far Beyond Reason. Yeah. All right. Check it out on Spotify. And I liked it. And I thought, wow, this is good.

And I was like, wow. Good shepherd. And I want to be honest about it and say, you know, because if I just go, this is great. But I was listening to the first one and I was like, I'm not really into it. But that doesn't mean, because people have different tastes. Of course. I have a very narrow window. The most narrow. Yeah. The most narrow of anyone I've ever met.

90s country. 1990, 1994. I think I got a 30-year range in country music. And that's what I got. Okay. And that's it. Yeah, and then you can, whatever other music that's kind of country. That's why I like classic rock, because it's all, a lot of it's kind of country. Aaron Cornwell.

Dusty would love country artist Drake White. His music is authentic and soulful. He is hands down my favorite musician. I don't know if I've listened to Drake White. I feel like I know them. You know what? Maybe I did. I talked about Drake White with somebody the other day.

And I said, it's hard to be a musician named Drake when one of the most popular musicians alive is named Drake. At least it's Drake White, not Drake Black. That would get a couple of people confused. But I feel like I listened to... Somebody emailed me about Drake White the other day, I feel like. All right. Oh, maybe somebody I know is doing...

a documentary about him. Wow. And they asked me about him. Check it out. Aaron Cornwell. Cornwell sounds like a Revolutionary War general. Doesn't it? Yeah. Cornwell? General Cornwell.

Yeah. It's coming down the Potomac. Wow, this name's tough. Okay. Yeah, the next one does not sound like a Revolutionary War general. Sequoia Pelletier. That's what I'm going with. I think you nailed it. Sequoia Pelletier. Sequoia, what a great name. The two L's could be confusing. It could be like a quesadilla type situation. Pelletier. Pelletois. Pelletois, yeah. No, no, no, I don't know. I'm going with Sequoia Pelletier, and I'm sorry if I pronounced it wrong.

Disneyland is not in LA. If you want to reference the letters to remember where it's at,

Look at the A-N instead because Disneyland is an Anaheim. How very Southern of you to assume that all of California is Los Angeles. Oh, yeah. We got a bit of a Fort Worth, Dallas situation here where you think how very California of you to think the rest of the country cares about these arbitrary distinctions. I know there's efforts. I'm joking around.

I know they're separate cities. But it is pretty close. But also, the Los Angeles Angels are in Anaheim. They're not called the Anaheim Angels. That's right. Take it up with your own state. You're not making the distinction between these two cities. And I also did not know that it was in Anaheim. So, I'm sorry. I made a mistake. But to be fair, though, in the end...

And A-N is still in there, so your original point still holds up. Yeah, it still works. The heuristic tool still works. Yeah. Is that a heuristic? Never heard that word in my life. Never heard of heuristic something tool? When Shohei Otani moved from the Angels to the Dodgers, did he move houses? What do you mean?

Do you get to stay in the same house? I'm sure, yeah. So, I mean, that kind of verifies your point as far as Anaheim and L.A. Well, I think he maybe bought a much bigger house because of the deal that he signed. Oh, okay, so he did that. But I don't know if he had to relocate. Yeah. Mark Rockwell. A lot of wells out here. Mark Rockwell. Rock good. Aaron is right about the group Hanson. They have great new music. I don't believe it. Yeah. Who knew that Aaron was going to

rise as this great musical taste. I don't think I have like unbelievable music taste or anything, but I, I listened to a lot of it. And I think that Hanson, what we all know about Hanson, right. Where the youngest guy, they were like 15, 13 and 11 when they did it. I mean, what a shame if we were judged by our comedy at that age, you know? Yeah. So I think you got to check out what they're doing as an adult. They have an album that's much older than I realized.

I think it came out in 2007 called The Walk. That is really genuinely good. I'm going to check it out. Go check it out, Hanson, The Walk. It's a country song album. That whole album's great.

There's a country song called The Walk. The Walk the Line? No. The boots are made for walking. I guess there's a lot of walk. No, I think this is called The Walk. Took a walk with his old man. By Sawyer Brown. Sawyer Brown, yeah. Because I took this walk, you're walking now, boy. I've been in your shoes. It was in the top five country songs about dads. Oh. Also fits into the most narrow window of taste that I have.

It's one of those, I know, Dusty, you're going to reference that a lot. This is like when I was in the car with Dusty, and we almost got in a wreck, and I snapped, and I said, you're driving like a maniac. And then it was quiet in the car for about an hour. I never forgot it. And then about an hour later, Dusty goes, maniac. It was like something about the word hit him hard. I'm sorry, I was coming at you.

That day was also the Tom Petty day. Oh, was it really? I burned a lot of bridges that day. You were piling on me that day. I'm sorry about that, man. And now you're taking us to a great gig. We had a cabin that we stayed in. But I can't get you... Slept in the same bed. Oh, that did bad. That's how he knew how hot you were. I remember that cabin, actually. Yeah.

Yeah, it was a nice place. What was that? That was some theater in Georgia that you did. Yeah, it was a nice place. It was a really nice cabin. But I can't get you to like, I've shown you, I think I've tried four or five different times to get you to listen to John Mayer and you can't get on. No, I have listened to John Mayer. Even some of like, he has legitimately country songs. Dead and Company, I listened to a lot with John Mayer. Well, okay. I like John Mayer. Yeah, okay. I'm a big fan. Are you a big fan? Because of you.

Wow. All right. I take back everything I said. It's the one... Outside of the narrow. No, I do like it. I think that John Mayer is similar with the umbop situation, even though he's risen above it. Because everybody knows him as, I want to run through the halls of my high school. Yeah, which is... Well, the problem with this...

comparison you're drawing is that first album, Room for Squares, is unbelievable. Holds up, still great. It's really good. Songwriting's great. It's not mbop.

No, no. But I'm saying though, everybody remembers, I want to run through the halls. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. And it's like, that's where you're like, oh, that's John Mayer. But you're like, no, John Mayer is so much more. Yeah. He's everything. The Chappelle Show made John Mayer real cool. Chappelle Show. With that episode where it was like guitar versus- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Was it versus drums? No, it was how white people react to guitar. Oh, yeah. Versus how black people react to guitar. Yeah, and then Quest Love's in it. And then it's drums at the end. Yeah, Quest Love comes out and starts playing. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. Amy Genesis. There's a legend about Jimi Hendrix. Oh, God. There's a legend that Jimi Hendrix said the best guitarist was Phil Keegy.

Snopes disputes that. Well, Snopes is real flawed. We don't trust Snopes on this podcast. Nobody trusts Snopes. I've actually met Phil Kege. Have you really? Yeah. Where? There is a Christian Comedian Association that I'm a member of, and they haven't... This has been years ago, but they have an annual conference...

And he came and performed at the event. And I just happened to be out in the parking lot and showed him where to park. And he asked him to take a picture of him and Wayne Brady. Yeah.

What? Remember when you did that on the Huckabee show? You asked Kevin Sorbo. It was Cuba Gooding Jr. Oh, Cuba Gooding Jr. Oh, okay. You asked Kevin Sorbo to take a picture of you. Yeah, I do remember that. Cuba Gooding Jr. Wayne Brady would have been bad. You and Al Roker. Yeah, Wayne Brady. I mean, look, I would take a picture with Wayne Brady. Yeah. You wouldn't take one with Cuba? Cuba? Not as big a fan.

not anymore old cuba good junior really great yeah radio cuba good junior i like lightning jack you ever see that no i've never seen it you've seen it yeah really good um i i've heard this a lot though this jimmy hendrix thing people always say something like what's it feel to be the greatest guitarist and he says i don't know you'd have to ask blank yeah i hear it a lot i heard it

They say it's the country guy. Roy Clark. Roy Clark. They say he said that about Roy Clark. But then I heard Eric, they ask Eric Clapton. Eric Clapton said, I don't know. You'll have to ask Prince. I saw that last night. Yeah. I watched, I watched a lot of TikTok at night and I watched some award show where Tom Petty is singing a,

My Guitar Gently Weeps by the Beatles. And then Prince plays the guitar solo on that.

It's unbelievable. I've seen that. There's other people in there, too. Was that from the Kennedy Center? One of those? It might have been. It's on YouTube. You should check out YouTube sometime, Dustin. It is unbelievable. I've gone through YouTube already. I've gone through all of YouTube. I finished it. He plays, and then when he's done, throws the guitar in the air, walks off. How do you feel about smashing an instrument after a song? Do you think it's cool, or do you think it's played out? I think it's played out now.

But when The Who did it back in the day... That's probably pretty cool the first time you saw it. It was probably awesome. The first time you saw it, you're like... They were the first to do it? That's the first... To me, that's like the quintessential...

of that. Was it the Ed Sullivan show? I don't know, but they smashed all their instruments at the end. I like, though, when someone genuinely destroys it and then he just throws the guitar. He doesn't smash it. He's just like, I'm done with it. Pops the collar, walks off. It doesn't get cooler than that. Jeff Jarrett used to do that. Yeah, Jeff Jarrett's great. It can be kind of cool to smash the instrument, but then also you'll see...

musician who has the same guitar for like 20, 30 years. Yeah. That's kind of cool too. Yeah. I don't know. Willie Nelson. Trigger. Trigger. Yeah. His guitar is famous. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. He's had it forever. It's his second guitar. Apparently his grandfather gave him one when he was real young and it got broken and he bought Trigger and that's been his guitar since then. Wow. Hmm.

Okay. Stomach made a noise there. Joel Manuel. God, man.

Man, unbelievable collection of names here. Rockwell, Genesis, Manwell. Cornwell. Cornwell. Dusty. Helloteer. Dusty dropping the Grateful Dead Cornell 77 reference made him the best comic on this podcast. Jeez. About time in these comments. Who's picking these? Dusty, I got... The best comic on the podcast.

My buddy texted me. He listens to podcasts. Mike Rose. He said to tell you his first Grateful Dead... Oh, I'm sorry. He picked up some deadheads whose microbus broke down on I-65, the Tennessee-Kentucky border. He was on his way to his first Grateful Dead concert in Louisville, 1990. In exchange for the ride, they handed him two cassette tapes with a copy of that show you're talking about. Wow. And it completely changed his life's musical trajectory. Well...

Yeah. I mean, it's really great. I mean, because this is what, this is what I'll say. I, I used to listen to a little grateful dead back in the day, but it was like, uh, uncle Tom's band. Uh, it was, um, run it, a friend of the devil. I want you, I'm, you know, you know, obviously I'm not that big of a fan of, but, uh, at the time. And, uh, and then I found later, um,

I forget. It's probably the most popular one, but I never was into the jam of it. But then COVID hit. I'm in my garage. I'm cleaning out the garage. I got Bluetooth speaker on the Grateful Dead. This Cornell album comes on and I'm like, whoa. And I listened to it for years. Yeah.

Yeah. Sometimes it just takes something like that. Yeah. Over COVID, there was a period where we didn't have anything but over-the-air TV. So I was watching a lot of 4.5. What is it? The channel? 4.5. 4.5. Wait, what? What happened during COVID that you lost everything like that? It was just a tough period. Yeah. Oh, goodness. You were going through some stuff. No, no, I wasn't. But anyway, for whatever reason, I started watching more PBS. Okay. Yeah.

PBS is great. This is Brian's version of becoming a deadhead. I got really into PBS. Austin City Limits. Yeah. Oh, they got great stuff. I tuned in. There's this band playing and they're not singing. And I'm like, okay, I guess it's the middle. And they keep going, keep going. And it was Snarky Puppy. Snarky Puppies. Unbelievable. So there you go. I learned about them from Austin City Limits. Oh, that's awesome. Corey Henry, the musician that we've mentioned.

That's how I learned about him. I guess Dusty doesn't know Snarky Puppy because he's not as up on music as I saw him at the Ryman. Unbelievable. There's like 35 people in the band. Their best collection of musicians I've ever listened to. They're unbelievable. Just like jazz, contemporary jazz, funk. They do some gospel stuff, world music. They're unbelievable. I like that. You ever watch the show Freaks and Geeks? Yeah.

They only did one season of that show, but Lindsay Weir, played by Linda Carlini, who I was just in love with her when I was younger. Yeah. Just loved that character in that show. Me too. The whole plot of the show is her trying to find her identity, right? She's a smart kid, but she hangs out with the burnouts, and her brother's a geek and all. But...

This is not a spoiler. The show's been over for a while, but it ends with her essentially becoming a deadhead and she finds her identity through the Grateful Dead. I'll be honest with you. I like the show, but not enough to finish it.

I never finished it. I love that show. My first introduction to her, because I didn't watch Freaks and Geeks when I was a kid, I was introduced to her through Grandma's Boy, the movie. Great movie. I don't know that movie. Really good. Nick Swardson. It's pretty filthy, but it is good. Last comment, Amanda Boa. That's not right. Amada Boa. Amada J? I'm thinking the J is silent.

Okay. Okay. I mean, the J's connected to the A at the end. Yeah. That makes me think it's... That's given that A and uh-uh. That's Linda Carlin. Yeah. You recognize her? Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's been in a lot of stuff. I didn't like her in the Avengers movies, though. I liked her in everything. I like her, but I just didn't feel like... Oh, she was his... Yeah, I was like... She was barely in it, though. Yeah, it's a boring move for her. I mean, she got to take it for the money. I get it, but...

It's a boring – it just feels like she's cooler than just being Hawkeye's wife. You know what I mean? I'm sure the character had a name, though, right? Yeah, maybe. Hawkeye's wife. I mean, she's the wife of the guy with no superpowers. I saw her in a series a year or two ago on Prime. She and the guy from Friday Night Lights –

the main, the coach in it. Kyle Chandler. Kyle Chandler, their siblings, and there's one or two other in it, and some weird thing happened, and they live on this beach house. Bloodline? Is that the show? It might have been Bloodline. Yeah, a Netflix show. I've heard that show's great. Yeah, maybe it was Netflix, but yeah, it was really good. That's the first I knew of her.

Very talented. All right. Amada Boa. Amada Boa. For a hot second, I was banking on breakfast naming Lita Ford in his band. Well, I know Lita Ford. Kiss me once, kiss me twice, kiss me deadly. I hadn't heard of Lita Ford. That's very funny, though. You know that song, Kiss Me Deadly? Lead guitarist for the all-female rock band The Runaways. I just like that this person was banking on this. For a hot second. Yeah.

How old is Lita Ford? How long is a hot second, though? How old is Lita Ford? She's 66. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, when I was young, she had a song called Kiss Me Deadly that was very hot. She looks good there. I don't know how old she is in that pic, but yeah. That's last year. Yeah, she's 65. She's 65. She's looking good. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think I take it. I don't know if this is an insult or a compliment, but I take it as a compliment. I take it. Yeah, man, I would take it as a compliment too. Yeah. Okay. We love talking about our Helix mattresses, but not as much as we love sleeping on them. Am I right? Sometimes I go over to Aaron's house, just sleep on his mattress for a while. While he's up with the baby, I go, you're going to be up for a while. Let me nap here.

I've had my mattress, my Helix mattress for almost three years now. Nate's parents just got one. I go over there and sleep on there sometimes. They love it. They love when I come over. Three of us can go on the mattress. Not a big deal. We all love it. It improves how we sleep. Everyone knows I love their pillows. The pillows are the best pillows ever. When I don't, you know, sometimes, I don't know if you know this, but I have two floors in my house. And I don't want to turn a brack here, but...

We know that. We've been to your house. I know, but maybe the listeners don't know. A lot of these listeners think I live in a box out back. But sometimes if I'm downstairs and there's no Helix pillow on my bed, I go upstairs to get the Helix pillow. I'm getting better sleep. Aaron's getting better sleep. Brian's getting better sleep.

My old mattress was one of those with the old springs, and I finally realized how bad that is for sleep. It's bad. There's nothing like a spring digging in your back while you're trying to sleep. You know what I mean? Metal. Who thought sleeping on metal was a good idea? Some moron. Not Helix.

Helix fixes that issue. It's great for hot sleepers, right? Oh, yeah. Aaron is a hot sleeper. I sure am. I like the fan on. I've shared a hotel room with him, and I've been like, what is that heat coming off of that bed?

I had to turn the AC on just because I was like, dang, we're not going to get our deposit back on this hotel. Radiating. How hot it is. You got a microwave in bed? Yeah. People with back pain, snores. Brian knows what we're talking about. Of course. Brian cuts timbers down in his sleep. I wake up and I go, Brian, we're not even in the same hotel room. And you keep it down. Different.

Different floors. These mattresses solve that problem. If hotels had Helix mattresses in them, people would move out of their homes into a hotel. And it's for everyone. It would be a problem. Yeah, they're too good. They're too good. Yeah, you wouldn't want to leave. You would go, check out at 12. I'd go, can I get a late checkout? How about 5?

Right now, you get 20% off plus two free pillows for all mattress orders. Just go to helixsleep.com slash nate. You can't beat this deal. That's helixsleep.com slash nate. Okay. All right. This week, you know, a few weeks ago, Dusty broke down Pinocchio, and people loved it. So I'm like, let's expand a little bit. The top two movies right now, do you know what they are?

No idea. I can see it on the sheet in front of you, but... Oh, Moana 2 and Wicked. Okay. Both, I would say, to some degree, are fairy tales. Especially Wicked, right? Well, what is a fairy tale? Fairy tale is a broad definition, but generally, there's fairy tales, there's folk tales, there's fables. Okay. Fables generally...

have a message. It's usually an animal that has human characteristics and there's a lesson to be learned in it. Like a parable? Like where there's something you're supposed to take away from it? Yeah, like the tortoise and the hare. Right. That's a fable. Folktales are...

stories that while made up there might be some truth to to the point where dusty probably believes them paul bunyan johnny appleseed things like yeah john henry that's probably true yeah i mean these all these things are probably based in truth i don't believe anybody any of these imaginations out here you don't think anybody makes something up entirely no what do you think lord of the rings is based on

Well, I think it's, you know, they kind of loosely base it on Christianity in the Bible, right? So it's like, yeah, it's like, you know, you make up some stuff, but were there ogres? Probably. But... You know what I mean? John Henry. John Henry was a real person, most likely. But the story was, you know, that he was a steel driving man. He battled the machine to see who could be better. He won. He died in the process. Yeah.

None of that's probably true. Yeah. Probably is. Okay. And then Paul Bunyan was probably real too. A lumberjack. The big blue ox. Yeah. So folktales are exaggerated. Like George Washington cutting down a cherry tree. That never happened. I guess that would be a folktale. But it's based on a real person. Why do we think it didn't happen?

Because I think, didn't we talk about this on the podcast? I don't think a cherry tree is really that big. No, it was just, I think somebody admitted they made it up as just a device to. To prove the point. I cannot tell a lie. Yeah, to. So you would lie to make a story about not lying? Yeah. But is that really lying or is that just, is that lying? If you told me that George Washington cut down a cherry tree and he didn't.

But what's the point of that story? That George Washington would always tell the truth. That George Washington was a virtuous man who prioritized telling the truth. Yeah. So that's the takeaway. Over eating cherries. Yeah.

Right. It's not about the cherries. It's not about the tree. Maybe it was during his campaign. They make this, build this story to build his image. Yeah. Or something, you know, somebody trying to, I think it's somebody trying to sell a biography about him after the fact. To prove he never told a lie. We're going to tell a lie in his behalf. But is that really a lie? That's my point. That's right. Or,

Or what was the cherry tree an analogy for something else? I think it's just, doesn't that have a little more oomph than like apple tree? Someone just said, maybe. Doesn't the cherry tree sound, you know. A little pop to it. Nativity scene. Okay. Typical nativity scene. I made a point recently, the wise men were not there when Jesus was.

Yeah, it didn't come until like a month later, right? It could have been years later. Yeah. But someone argues to me the point of this painting that we were talking about is to show that everyone came to realize it's – don't take it so literal is what the person was telling me. Sure. What if it was just – there was just three guys that happened to be there and everybody's like –

those are the wise men and they're like no no we're just three idiots we're around you know there was a lot of hoopla we wanted to see what was going on over here we're not that smart really don't call us wise you know check it out but it's like yeah we're not the wise men but we were there and then the wise men come later yeah and then we're the wise men yeah no no no no no they've already been here try

And then fairy tales generally very often have a fairy or a witch or some type of magic involved. Something supernatural. Supernatural that's tricking you. There's usually the mom's gone dead. There's an evil stepmother. Very often they have a very similar fairy tales because very often there's fairies involved. Okay. Which some people believe are also real. At this table. Fairies. So I don't know if we'll get into any that Dusty doesn't think actually happened, but...

But anyway. I did bring a story that I'd like to read. All right. Okay. Do you want me to do it now? Well, I don't know what it is. I think now is the right time. It's called Flora's Magic Flute. Okay. Let's get a shot of that. It's a story I read to my daughter. I want to read it to you guys because there's a bit of a hole in the story here. Okay. How long is it? It's not very long. Okay. 14 pages. No, it's not very long.

Long ago, deep in the woods, a tiny village of fairies lived in peace, including a fairy girl named Flora. I think we can all believe that. Yeah. For as long, now this is an important detail. For as long as the fairies could remember, every day had been clear and sunny. Okay. Okay.

Flora played music on her magic flute and all day the fairies danced and sang. But then one day the sky grew dark and it began to rain. Soon the fairy village was muddy and gray. Everyone in the village was sad. Would the sun ever return, they said. Then Flora remembered how happy everyone had been when she played her flute on sunny days. Could her music make them feel happy now? She took out her flute and began to play.

All right, here we go. Flora's music made the other fairies remember that after the last rain... Okay, let's go back. Let's go back. Here we go. Let's go back. For as long as the fairies could remember, every day had been clear and sunny. Here we go. And it made the fairies remember that after the last rain, the trees and flowers had become even prettier than before.

So they all danced and splashed in the rain to celebrate the beauty that was to come. So this is talking about some kind of village where they forget everything. They can't remember anything. Because for as long as they could remember, every day had been clear and sunny. Right, right. But then one day darkness came. Flora played the flute. Right.

Now, there's no talk of the flute being magic. It's called magic, but it's just a flute. It's called the magic flute, but they never mentioned it being magic in the story. Oh, but they can't remember anything. Every day is bright and sunny. Then she plays the flute, and suddenly they're like, oh, we remember after the last rain. Wow. Well, every day had been clear and sunny. So what last rain?

You don't think music can be... Mic drop. Let's see that book. Okay. Flora's Magic Flute, written by Stephen Hall, illustrated by Jennifer Bartlett. I'm trying to...

Teach my kids to observe things. I mean, I want to collect all four of these. Griff learns to fly. Augie the grump and scuttles diamonds. Yeah. This is a... What are you reading to your daughter? I'm reading just black and white

at this point. For your read philosophy. Yeah. No, I'm not reading her Aristotle just yet, but it's just like a little book with a mirror in it and that kind of stuff. Oh, yeah. She's just starting to smile, which is pretty fun. Oh, that's fun. Pretty fun. That is fun. Pretty fun to get like a real, not just a I'm farting smile, but like a real I'm looking at you and smiling. Yeah, that is fun. That's pretty fun.

You don't think music can be transformative like that, Dusty? I do, but my whole problem with it is that these fairies were like, it's never rained before. But then the moment Flora started playing the flute, they were like, oh, we remember the last rain. I think this is a story about art.

And how art gives us perspective in life. These fairies are just plowing through life, working hard, right? They're not looking up at all. And they're so bogged down with the minutia and the reality of everyday life that they get depressed, right? And then an artist comes along.

And goes, no, zoom out a little bit. There is beauty in the world. Good things are coming. And they go, oh. And that's what art can do to people. And also like, wake up. Don't you remember? It's rained before. I don't think it has quite that energy. Yeah, wake up, you idiots. Things are going to be okay. Don't you remember things? It rains sometimes. How do you think we're growing all these mushrooms? Mushrooms don't grow without moisture and a little bit of darkness. This reminds me of a...

When I was a kid, it looks like the Smurfs. They do. When I was a kid, we read a book at school about a place where it rained every day. Essentially that. Seattle. The kids had never seen a day where it hadn't rained. So they always had to be indoors. They locked one of their kids. They bullied him, put him in the closet just to mess with him. Jeez. Yeah.

One day, well, I guess it was- Is this a folk tale? The same day. Same day. This is from Brian's journal. Finally. I wrote it while I was in the closet. This could be, yeah, some truth to it. Finally, it stops raining and the kids get to go out and enjoy the sunshine for the very first time in their life. Wow, wow. When they finally come in at the end of the day, they realize, oh yeah, we'd locked that kid in the closet and he didn't get to experience- Wow.

It's kind of a dark. And what a loser he is. You didn't even see the sun. Is that the point of the story? I don't know. I just remember reading that as a kid. It haunted me. What's the turn at the end? Does something happen? I mean, I think they felt maybe a little bad. And then they found out that kid was blind. Maybe the turn is they all decide, let's not even tell him that we saw the sun. Maybe. And then it's like he never missed out on it if he doesn't know that it happened.

Could be something fun there. I'm subjecting my daughter to Christmas shows that I watched as a kid. Yeah. And I've made a- Bonanza. A Bonanza Christmas. I do like Bonanza. Yeah, me too. It's a good show. It's a watch with my grandpa. Haas, Little Joe. And Gunsmoke is good. Yeah.

That looks good, yeah. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, which I had her watch last night. It was a little much for her. They have an abominable snowman. Yeah. Yeah, I remember. Yeah, that part's scary, I bet. She kind of, she didn't like it. But then Frosty the Snowman. She's really gotten into Frosty the Snowman. She wants to watch it over and over and over again. And I don't know if you remember. Particularly the part where he's in the greenhouse. That's what I'm getting at. Okay, sorry. That's...

I don't know how much you remember it. I don't remember that. Basically, there's an evil magician who wants the hat back because that's what's making him come to life. So the hat is what animates Frosty the Snowman? The hat never belonged to Frosty, to be honest with you. I don't know if this magician was evil or not. He's like, I just want my hat back. Well, they try to make it clear that he threw the hat away and discarded it, and that they claimed it. But they're out in the snow trying to get North Pole to warm the little girl up.

They go into a greenhouse and then the magician shuts the door and locks him in there. Oh my gosh. So then Santa Claus shows up and goes in and there's just...

that little girl in a puddle of water and she's crying because Frosty is melted. And Santa's like, don't worry. It's Christmas snow. We'll bring it back to life. And they do, of course, bring it back to life. Okay. But the trauma girl went through watching her best friend slowly melt away. He's talking to her. You don't see that, of course, but I just like that girl's going to need some counseling. Oh yeah. And all the kids watching it. Right. Well, it was just,

You mean watching the show? Yeah. Yeah, you don't see him melt. You just see the puddle of water. And it can't be the same Frosty. You just can't make new snow and put it on his head and it be the same guy. They're just going to have to refreeze the water that melted. Which is kind of what they did. It kind of like zipped out the door and spun and become Frosty again. Okay. Still with the hat? Well, they had to put the hat back on. The magician still was claiming it, but Santa told him he's not going to get any presents unless he...

I don't know if I know the story of Frosty the Snowman. This girl made a snowman and then the hat got put on it. But when we put it on his head, he began to dance around. Frosty the Snowman. You know the song? I know the song was a jolly, jolly dude. I don't know the lyrics that well. The song came first.

Okay. Song came first. One of Elvis's songs. Then they made an animated show. Same with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Gene Autry sang them. Whoa. I didn't know that. The song came before. The show. Did the song invent the entire or the first to tell the story? I think so, maybe. You know, there's a song where he says, what is it where he says, we'll pretend like, dang.

We'll talk about the snowman. And then they go, we'll pretend they say, we'll pretend that he is Parson Brown.

Once you're like a preacher or whatever, or somebody that can marry you. And it says, we'll pretend that he is Parson Brown. He'll say, are you married? We'll say, no, man. But you can do the job when you're in town. You know that song? You guys know that song? What song is that? I think it's Frosty the Snowman. Yeah. That's like verse seven. I've never gone that deep in the song. I think you're right. But that's not...

They don't do that part on the show. He does say that, but I thought, I didn't know what Parson Brown was. I thought they were saying marching proud. We'll pretend that he is marching proud and he'll say, are you married? We'll say no, man. I was like, are they going to marry Frosty the Snowman? And I think this is actually from the song Winter Wonderland.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, not Frosty the Snowman. Yeah, my bad. But they all blend together. But yeah, we'll pretend. See the line, though? Parson is actually another word for a clergyman, especially a Protestant pastor. The word has gone largely unused since around 1980. But apparently he could marry people. But I just thought he said marching proud, not Parson Brown. And then they said, he'll say, are you married? We'll say, no, man, but you can do the job when you're in town. I thought they were marrying people.

The Snowman. Oh, I see. That's walking in a winterland. That's the song? Winter Wonderland. I don't know if they're walking in it. Yeah. I'm confused. Okay. This is a different guy than Jack Frost. Frosty Snowman is a different guy. Yeah, because we looked up last night because she's really into it. There is a Frosty 2 and the global warming. The antagonist is Jack Frost. What about the Santa Claus 3? You know that one? That's also Jack Frost.

He's battling Martin Short as Jack Frost. They're battling? Yeah. So Jack Frost is a villain? Yeah, in Santa Claus 3. I thought Jack Frost was a good guy. The Santa Claus. I did too. There's like a... C-L-A-W-S? No, like a... Claus? Like a Claus in a contract. But that's spelled the same. Maybe just the E.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. I got an idea. Let's get off our butts and into some action, and it's fun to do that with.

Mountain Dew with bold flavors and a refreshing citrus kick. Mountain Dew will get you off the sofa and have you kind of feeling like you're charging up the side of a mountain, a mountain where the weather's perfect, your friends are ready to hang, all your clothes fit okay, and it's just a good day, just a full day of epic games are happening. Could you imagine? I certainly can. I get that feeling every time I drink a delicious Mountain Dew. Check out all the flavors. Original Baja Blast Code Red Voltage. Baja Blast is the best.

I am ready for some snow here in Nashville. We just haven't had any yet, but once we do, the sleds are ready. I don't care how old you are getting to go down a hill with your friends around and getting some sledding in. That's the best. And then to cap the day off with an amazing, refreshing Mountain Dew. It's a nice, when it's cold enough, you can just leave drinks outside. You don't even have to put them in the fridge. Just leave the drinks out in the snow. That's the best.

My favorite thing about winter is being able to leave food in my car and know that it's staying refrigerated. To leave a drink in the cup holder, come back the next day, it's just as good as when you left off. And I imagine doing that with an amazing fresh Mountain Dew. Especially if it's just below freezing a little bit, so there's a little ice in there. A little bit of ice in there. The mountain is calling. I mean, you hear us talking about it. You should answer. Grab your friends, grab an ice-cold Mountain Dew, wherever refreshing beverages are sold, and say it with me, audience. Do the Dew.

All right. So fairy tales started back even before people were writing, they were doing oral stories and passed it down. And then 1600s, Charles Peralt, some funny guys.

Sometimes you gotta clear your throat. I don't know. I just caught Dusty's eye. Charles Baralt wrote Tales of Mother Goose. This is in 1697. It had Little Red Riding Hood, Tom Thumb, Cinderella, Puss in Boots, some classics. Oh, man. The way these old books...

What they call cats is too much. Yeah, I don't like it. I'm trying to read these things and what they call chickens and even a horse. There's one nursery rhyme I'm reading with what they call a horse, basically a male rooster plus horse. And I'm like...

to Banbury Bush riding the blank horse to Banbury Bush. I'm like, I don't think so. Not in this house. We're not. That's crazy. Wait till you start reading Mark Twain. A lot of these fairy tales are very dark. Many of the classic ones are incredibly dark and they were written for adults.

Okay. And then later they were kind of sanitized for children. Right. To some degree. But some of these are incredibly. See, Disney. This old man, he played too. He played knickknack on a shoe. That's apparently about like the Irish potato famine. Knickknack, paddywhack, give a dog a bone. This old man came rolling. Yeah, that'd be a nursery rhyme. Yeah, it's apparently. Is that not what we're doing? We are. Apparently. We haven't even gotten to nursery rhymes yet. Okay. But that's about the Irish famine, I think.

The potato family. Like people coming for food, but giving him a bone. They knock on the door, give me a bone, and they go, we can't because all we have is potatoes. Yeah, something like that. So Aesop's Fables. Aesop. Yeah.

You've heard of Aesop, right? Yeah. Oh, Aesop did it, man. Yeah. He's a collection of fables credited to Aesop, a slave and storyteller who lived in ancient Greece. What's some of his fables? Boy Who Cried Wolf. Oh, yeah. Man, that stood the test of time. Yeah, it did. Tortoise and the Hare. Oh, Tortoise and the Hare.

You know what bothers me about tortoise and the hare? They're constantly, all they ever talk about in every fairy tale is how slow the turtle is. It's like, cut the guy some slack here. Well, he wins in the end. That's the point. Yeah, but it's like they're always just, oh, he's so slow. And it's like the idea of that story is to tell us that the tortoise can beat the hare if he's slow and steady. But the reality is the hare's beating you every time.

The hare's going to beat you every time. Well, clearly not. You find a different race. Don't try to race the hare. Race other tortoises. Okay? Because you're never going to beat the hare. This is you swimming. You're going to be ahead of Danielle, and then you're going to start feeling cocky, and you're going to slow down. This is just like we saw in the football game with the Titans. Leon Lett, famously in the Super Bowl. Remember that? He slowed down. He wasn't much of a hare, but...

Don Beebe snuck up behind him, knocked the ball loose. Yeah. I'm looking at a list of Aesop's fables. You're never going to beat the hare. We know about tortoise and the hare, but a lot of these have been forgotten over time. Let's get a couple. The wolf and the lamb. How about the monkey and the camel? What is that about? Well, I would think the monkey thought he didn't need water, and the camel was like, I have it in my back at all times.

The moral of this is do not try to ape your betters. What does that mean? I don't know. What a reach that is. The camel carries a lot of water in his back. There's a lot going on here at the club. I don't know if you hear that. I think there's some kind of theater troupe out there performing.

It's a much different energy out there than there is in here. I'll tell you something about Aesop. Yeah. All except for the peacock. He loves the and the the. The blank and blank. Yeah. The wolf in his shadow. The travelers in the purse. The frogs who wished for a king. Let's get into that. What about the blank and the jewel? These are so much longer. But this one, they reduce it down to the moral, which is nice. So the frog who wished for a king, the moral of that is be sure to...

Be sure you can better your condition before you seek to change. Jeez, that doesn't... Or how about... Here's some classic words. Sometimes you gotta change to better your condition. Yeah, that's weird. The goose that laid the golden egg. That's an Aesop fable. Okay. Do you guys know that? Not really. Not the way. Yeah, I mean, there was a goose. Kind of a clunky title. Couldn't lay any eggs. And then one day, laid a golden egg.

And then the king came along and wanted to eat the egg because he's like, I got a lot of gold. This doesn't really mean anything to me. What I need right now is an egg. No. None of that's correct.

I was buying it for a while. Yeah. I was so convinced. I don't really know what the point of this is. There's a man and his wife. They had a hen that laid a golden egg every day. Okay. And they got. Actual gold. Yeah. The egg was made of gold. Not just the color gold. It's a egg of gold. Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chain? It's an egg. Okay. Okay.

And they got greedy and said, well, I mean, she must be full of gold inside. So they killed her to cut her open to get the gold. And this story is about the dumbest people that ever lived. The point is not to be greedy. Yeah. And use your brain a little bit.

Wow. That's so dumb. That's the dumbest people I've ever heard of. For two years straight, this chicken is making us the best. Who better kill the chicken? Let's cut it open. Let's not even try to. What would be that a modern day equivalent of? The dog and the bone. Me killing Nate. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Trying to cut Nate open. Yeah. Be like, Nate's given a lot of opportunities. He must be full of opportunities. Yeah, yeah. Let's cut him open. And steal his wallet. Yeah. Let's grab him. I think it would be similar to the dog –

bone where the dog's holding the bone and he's looking over the river right and the river he looks in he sees his reflection and in that the bone is much bigger so he drops the bone to get the bigger bone but it's actually just a reflection but that's that's a dog so you understand why he would think that except for the dog holding that bigger bone must be bigger too so it's like you really think you're about to take it from i don't know that i don't think it was bigger right i just think he saw another bone he's like i want that one too

And this one's moving a little bit too because it's in the river. Yeah. But this is a couple who owns a farm. Yep. I imagine they pay taxes. They run an operation. They're too smart to. There's no excuse. Even just look at the mass. You're seeing this egg. How many eggs could possibly be inside the goose? I know. Even if the goose was just full of the eggs, how many could possibly be in there? Just let it keep turning them out.

The Lion and the Mouse. I don't know that one. It's about a lion who got a new computer and having a lot of trouble with the mouse.

The lion gets mad at the mouse for waking him up. The mouse begs for forgiveness and basically says, it would be no honor for you to kill a little mouse like me. Maybe someday I could help you in return. And the lion's like, yeah, right, whatever. I'll let you go. They're out of mercy. And then the lion, I think there's different versions, gets caught in a rope and the mouse bites the rope part and saves the lion. Wow. So I guess, I don't know what the message is that,

Even little people. Even if somebody keeps waking you up, let them live. That's the message. Yeah. That is the message. Way too specific. Yeah. Do not murder over small inconveniences. Don't kill a mouse. I mean. You never know what they'll do for you in the end.

Hansel and Gretel is so dark. Yeah, what is that? So Hansel and Gretel, they're leaving bread in the forest or something. What is Hansel and Gretel all about? I think they find a house made of cakes. So it's two little Germans walking through the forest. Yeah. And they're leaving bread behind them. And they got lost. And they... Why did... But... I think... A bird came along and was eating the bread. Is that... They were dropping, yeah. Is that true? Yeah. I had to look the story up last night because I couldn't remember. The stepmom told the dad, get rid of these kids. Yeah.

So he took them out in the woods to get rid of them. Oh, my God. But the dad. Wait, well, hold on. Don't breeze past that. I mean, it gets much worse. Okay. It's a story about a weak man, first off. You get rid of the stepmom. Just get rid of her. Well, he clearly doesn't care about the kids either. No. He goes, all right, I'll take them out to the woods and just leave them out there. Yeah. He didn't like it, but he had to do what his wife said. Oh, my God. He didn't have to if he were a stronger man. Why did she wear it?

Why did she want the kids gone? Were the kids bad kids? Were they misbehaving? She wanted some peace and quiet. I mean, I love my wife, but if she were like, take the kids to the woods and leave them, I'd go, how about we just, we're going to leave. I'd go, I'm calling immigration. Yeah. She's a citizen now. There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry, Anna. So the kids figured it out. They overhear the plan. So the first- The kids are old enough to understand.

How old are they? Well, I don't know. They're old enough to understand. Honestly, they're probably old enough to be out of the house. They're 32 and 30. That's a thing that Hans O'Gretto gets left out a lot. That's the message. They did need to get out of the house. Yeah, it was time. You voted in four elections.

They're like stepbrothers. Get out. Okay. So I thought they were like toddlers. As it goes along, you start to side with the stepmom a little bit. Yeah. They're probably nine or 10, I'm guessing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And they get wind of it. So they have these pebbles that they drop along the way. And the kids are Hansel and Gretel? Yeah. Yeah. They drop along the way. And he drops them off. Then that helps them get back to the house because they follow the pebbles back. The stepmom says, do it again. And he's like, okay. Okay.

And this time they take breadcrumbs, but the plan doesn't work because the birds come and eat it. So now they're out there in the woods. They find a house made of candy, right? Okay.

Cake and stuff like that. Yeah. And they're like, we've hit the jackpot. We're glad we're lost. But it's really an evil witch. Of course. Who wants to eat them. Sister to the stepmom. Wants to eat them. Wants to eat them. She has to fatten Hansel up first. So she holds him hostage to fatten him up before she eats him. The girl's already good to go. Yeah, man. Her name's Gretel. Yeah.

You can imagine what she looks like. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't know, but she's fattening Hansel up. And then bottom line is Gretel tricks the witch and like, hey, what's in the stove or something like that. And then she pushes her into the oven and kills her. Okay. Gretel does. Yeah. And then they head back to the house to do the same to the stepmom.

Well, since they escape with the witch's treasure, so... Oh, so you had treasure there. I guess, yeah. Why don't they just stay in the candy house rather than go back to the family that just tried to murder? Yeah, that's a good point. That's what I would think they would do. But maybe the cops will come around going, where's that witch? Yeah.

These fat kids are eating all the cake. Gingerbread house. They got no roof on the house anymore because they're eating the cake. House is the golden goose and they're up there eating it. Gretel, I told you, don't eat the roof. We need that. Eating the support beams in there. Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, I couldn't have told you the difference. Do you know?

I mean, I know now because I looked, but I get those. They're very similar. I mean, is the dwarves. Is that the difference? That's Snow White. Snow White. I'm saying, is that the difference? Sleeping Beauty is just no dwarves. No comic release. Snow White. I mean, she was asleep, but she was poisoned. So they thought she was dead. Okay. And then she's poisoned by whom?

There's always a witch. Okay. There's always an evil witch. Yeah. I've been telling you guys that since I joined the podcast. There's always a witch. Even before that. This is finally a come around to... Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then at the end of the day... Now everybody's like, witches are good. Oh, I guess it was a queen. I'm a good witch. In this case, it was a queen. And then once they find out what's going on...

the prince who saves Snow White makes the queen wear red hot iron slippers and to dance with them until she drops dead. Wow. Well, that's insane. Little Red Riding Hood. I mean, again, the wolf, you know, shows up, swallows grandma whole, then Little Red Riding Hood shows up, swallows her whole. And that's the end. In the original version. Yeah. Then he takes a nap. Yeah.

Then they sanitize a little bit and the next better version is people come to save them, cut the wolf open. Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are fine. They're just stuck in there. They're just hanging out. Yeah, like a boa constrictor. Wolf's got poor digestion. Yeah. And then they put rocks in the wolf so he can't move. And then there's much more sanitized versions. Okay. But these are so dark.

Yeah, it's different. What's the moral of the story when the wolf just eats them both? Keep an eye out for wolves. Hmm, I don't know. I do like that. I'll be honest with you, though. I like it. Let's put some fear into people because they need to be paying attention. I love a story that ends with the main character taking a nap. That's just good storytelling right there. Well, Disney...

It kind of came and made these much more... Palatable. Palatable, but I think that probably was like the 90s on. Yeah. So I was already in college and then working...

So most of these stories, I don't really know that well. You never caught the modern version of it? I want to know what the three little pigs really were. No, what is it? The three little bears. Goldilocks and the three bears? Yeah, Goldilocks. What really happened there? What's the true story of that? Goldilocks is dead. That bear came back. She's dead. And they tore her up.

One of my favorite books as a kid was called, I think it's called like the true story of the three little pigs. And it was from the wolves perspective. It's like sympathetic to him. Oh, yeah. It was great. The illustrations were great. I tried to make a joke one time about the three little pigs was talking about like living in a trailer, you know, and it's like, and the wolf is a tornado. Yeah.

And if you spend your time playing around instead of getting a proper brick home, the tornado is going to get you. Never really panned out. What about Humpty Dumpty?

I'm still working on that joke. People say Humpty Dumpty was a cannon or whatever, and that kind of ruins the joke. Humpty Dumpty was a cannon? Yeah. What does that mean? I thought he was an egg. I know. He's an egg in the thing. But I posted a clip of the video one time, and everybody's like, oh, he's a cannon. He was a cannon. I'm like, listen, try to just hear the joke. I'm not really seeking answers. Yeah, you shouldn't let that deter you. Everybody thinks he's an egg. Yeah, look at him. Yeah.

Well, I'm starting to get why somebody pushed him off the brick wall. Yeah, I mean, put some pants on. That's not how normally you work. Hey, can you quiet down for a little bit? And he's just twirling his baton. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. He's like, it's 2025, guys. Come on. Yes, I will continue to dance. And then they just kick him off. Yeah, I mean, that guy. Send the horses. All the king's horses. Yeah. And all the king's men.

I don't even think the men got down from the horses. Can you do it? No, I can't. No, I can't reach. Can't reach. Beautiful legs, though. Tone. Tone. Jack and the Beanstalk? Okay. That's true. That is a true one. I do believe that. That there is another, you know, kind of layer above us where giants live. And Jack...

Above us. Above us, yeah. Like where? Why can't we see it? Past the firmament. Oh, okay. And you get up there through a vegetable. Well, however you can get there. And who are they? Well, they're giants. Giants. Cannibals. Well, Jack and the Beanstalk, do you know the story, Aaron? Let's just move on. Okay.

He buys some magic beans. He buys some magic beans. When he should have got food, I think. Yep. Yeah. Because his mom was like, go get food for the family. I think so. And he bought magic beans instead. Yep. A little bit on the mom for making the kid go buy the groceries. Clearly, Jack is not capable of just getting the groceries. Is this the same guy who jumped over a candlestick? I think it's the same guy that killed the golden goose. Okay. So this guy, Jack's in a lot of trouble. Yeah.

He buys a magic bean. Jack Bean Nimble. From a witch, probably. A witch probably sold it to him. I would think, yeah. But the real magic beans, they sprout an enormous bean stalk. Yep. Probably putting out lots of beans. Which Jack climbs, and it takes him to... He doesn't have to climb it.

He doesn't have to. Just putting out a lot of beans. He's just got nothing to do. Yeah. So he climbs it. You want to climb it to see what's up there? And there's a castle up there. This is where Fee-Fi-Foe-Fum comes from. I smell the blood of an Englishman. Yeah, so that he's English. Yep. So, okay. Gets up there.

that's where the giant lives. Right. Giant's not home. His wife's home. Jack's like, I'll stay for a minute. Is this real? Yeah, this is real. Okay. And he's like, he just hangs out. I'll hang out with the giant's wife. I'm hungry. He said, and she gives him some food. And then the giant comes home. Fee, five, four, five. He hides. And the wife's like, no, there's no, you're crazy. There's not here. And the giant's like, all right, whatever. I'll go to sleep. Jack leaves, goes home.

comes back up the stalk later again to see his wife i guess jack's got a crush you know what i mean that's where the jack be nimble jabby quick he's up there in the giant jumping over the candlestick yeah yeah um and i think eventually the giant wakes up this keeps happening the giant wakes up chases him keeps smelling him the whole time i smell the blood yeah he smells him okay then he's like i guess i'm crazy where's the giant going every day

It's to work. It's to work. Yeah, just everyday life up there. Yeah. In the sky realm. Long commute. Yeah. And then eventually he chases him down, but Jack gets down, I think, and cuts down the beanstalk, kills the giant. I guess his wife, too. So the giant's on the beanstalk, and he cuts it down. He falls, creating the Grand Canyon. The cloud realm is not held up by the beanstalk.

No, no, no. Beanstalk is just a pathway there. Okay. Well, of course there's a cloud realm. Mario showed us that. Well, I'm just saying in this story, there's no cloud realm. Right, right, right. Well, what was up there then? Just a castle. Just the top of the beanstalk. That's where he lived. Mm-hmm.

But the... Well... It had to be more, I guess, if he's leaving and going... Yeah, I mean, it had to be there before the Beanstalk. There's a whole economy up there if he's going. The Beanstalk was just the way to get there. Yeah, it was just the portal. It was already there. It's the interstate. Oh, I see. I envisioned him, the top of the Beanstalk is where the house was. It was on top of the Beanstalk. No. No, no. This was just a pathway there. It was just a pathway. There's a whole city there. Yeah, don't be silly. There's...

All right, we'll do a couple more. Yeah. All right, if you hear a fairy tale story, a modern day fairy tale story, you know kind of what that means, right? You and Lucy, the power couple. Oh, a modern day fairy, like a storybook. Storybook, yeah. Storybook, romance, whatever, something like that. A Cinderella story. They all kind of mean the same thing.

Cinderella story, when Cinderella story is used in sports now, it's the... Rags to riches. It's the team that has zero chance that everybody writes off. Mm-hmm. Just like Cinderella. Is that really what's... I thought Cinderella was just like she... They lose a shoe. Yeah, what is even Cinderella? She was ugly or something? She wasn't ugly. And then put on a shoe and she became... She became the princess. I guess she did get hotter, but...

What, does she have the stepsisters and they're real mean to her? Evil stepsisters. The evil stepsisters, and then they go to the ball. But there's no Beast. No. This is not Beauty and the Beast. I think the Beast is the sisters. Oh. And then she gets the carriage made out of a pumpkin. But then after midnight, things turn back and she lost her slipper. There's a lesson in there that good things don't typically happen after midnight.

Right, but also if you leave a little something behind –

With the person that you have an interest in. That's a reason to come back. They'll come find you. So if you're ever into a girl and you want to see her again, leave some stuff over there. So you can call and go, oh, I left my phone charger over there. I need to come get it. That's what George Costanza Seinfeld. He says, I always do a leave behind. Yeah. Leave behind. And then he has a reason to go over there. Ah, thanks for holding on to this charger for me.

Do you want to hook up while I'm here? You know what else needs charging? My ego. Three blind mice. It's a good one. Cut off his tail with a carving knife. You ever see such a thing in your life? Two little mice are in a bucket of milk. What was that? Catch me if you can. Remember that? It's two little mice.

They're in a bucket of milk. And one of them turned so hard that he turned it into butter. You know what I'm talking about? No. I have no idea what you're talking about. Christopher Walken. You all ever seen Catch Me If You Can? Leonardo DiCaprio? Yeah. 20 years ago. Christopher Walken. Two little blind mice stuck in a pile of milk.

It's a good film. I like your Christopher Walken here. It's a good movie. That was good. It's a little Sebastian. There's 69 variants to the Cinderella story. Let's go through all of them. Around the world. Just letting you know, there's a lot out there. Let's go to 68 and 69. Let's wrap it up. All right. I'm kidding. We can wrap it up. I mean, I'm having a good time, but there's a show starting outside. Well, okay. I can hear him out there.

uh i'm not trying to i thought this has been a really good podcast it honestly has been good you know what i'd like to know though i'd like to know where you're at next week uh let's get into it uh i'm off for the rest of the year i mean i got a couple of local shows but nothing public what do you know nothing public okay i'm on a show here at zany's but when i pitch it because i'm not headlining it so i don't care whoa that's a

I think it's already sold out anywhere. Nasty energy. Um...

January... The tension here is real, folks. I don't know if you can feel it. Well, I'm nasty. That's the new Brides, the new persona. January 3rd. I'm going to take a while on this. January 3rd and 4th. Yeah, we got a new year. Yeah, let's walk through all of 2025. January 3rd and 4th. Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky. Let's go. Four shows. That is a good club. Old school. It is. It is. People always complain that we say every club's great and...

Why do we do that? We're lying about a lot of them. I don't say that. I don't say that. That's right. You always say it's a hot show. Well, if I'm part of it. But once you leave, it's not. There's some clubs that are good. Comedy Off-Broadway is one of them. That's January 3rd and 4th. January 7th, my next Brian Bates and Friends show here at the Lab at Zadie's. Now, I've done five so far here.

I just want people to know, if you don't care for me, I want you to know who else you're going to get to see. Okay. The first one I did, Aaron, Mike James, Alex Vluto, all been on the podcast. Everybody on the show was on the podcast. That was my first one. Nice. You should just circle on the show and friends. Okay.

Never mention me. In Friends. You're going to see In Friends this weekend? The second one, Nate's on it. How about that? Crazy. The next one, Nate and Angela Johnson's on it. The next one, Dusty's on it. Wow. That was a hot show. And Stephen Park dancing. Starting to move back. Yeah. And then the last one, John Chris was on it. So I'm just saying, you're going to see. You never know. Yeah. Well, you do know. You're going to know. It's going to be a great comic. It's going to be great. Well, you know that, but you don't ever know specifically. Exactly. So that's...

Because Brian doesn't book till the morning of. But. People don't commit till that afternoon when they have zero else going on. That's January 7th. January 11th, I'm in Fort Myers, Florida at the Luminary Hotel. They're doing comedy for the first time in a space called The Workshop. I'm doing two shows. Nice. Six and eight o'clock. And January, I'll stop there.

I'll stop. No, no, no, no. I was the, I forgot. I forgot where we're at. I want an image of a calendar. And as you're going through it, I want to see the days being torn off. I don't even know what you're talking about. Uh,

Oh, Aaron Weber here. We got a big 2025 coming up. Exciting things in the works. Detroit. I'm going to be in Detroit at the House of Comedy January 17th and 18th. That's the first leg of the tour. And then I'll just say one more weekend after that, doing a fun Texas run. Houston.

Austin, San Antonio. I'm doing Creek in the Cave in Austin, which is fun. The Houston Improv, LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio. That's the last weekend of January. And then a lot of fun things after that. Go to AaronWeberComedy.com for all the tourist dates and information. You can get right to it.

Well, all right. December 26th. That's going to be my last public show of the year. I don't know what else might pop up, but it'll be my last one on my calendar. I'm in Grant, Oklahoma at a casino. I've done that casino. Last year, I opened for Larry the Cable Guy there around the same time. Very cool. Actually, no. It was middle of the year. But this time, it's me.

It's going to be me and a guy named Tyler Elliott and Adam Bush. We're all going to do the show together. Awesome. But like I said, this next week, this week actually, tonight as this podcast comes out, I'm in Little Rock, Arkansas, Air Force Base, and then Columbus, Mississippi, and Shreveport, Louisiana. If you happen to be – I've never done military shows. If you happen to be on the base, come see the shows. You're bringing out the Dollar General joke.

I may. You're going to tell them how you were going to join the Army and they got arrested? Yeah, I may. Yeah, I may. I may get into that. And I did try that at a military show recently. I've never done military. This was more of a veteran show. You know, the corporate gig I talked to you about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, I think it went okay. All right.

But this has been a great podcast. It has been fun. Bit of a Cinderella story, this podcast. Real storybook podcast. Yeah, fairytale ending, if you will. Yeah, I think the clock's about to strike midnight, ladies and gentlemen. All right, well, thank you guys. Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay, signing off. We're having a good time. Good time, and we love you. Hey, Bear. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

What makes a great pair of glasses? At Warby Parker, it's all the invisible extras without the extra cost. Their designer quality frames start at $95, including prescription lenses, plus scratch-resistant, smudge-resistant, and anti-reflective coatings, and UV protection, and free adjustments for life.

To find your next pair of glasses, sunglasses, or contact lenses, or to find the Warby Parker store nearest you, head over to warbyparker.com. That's warbyparker.com.