242: #242 A Special Night (and A Little Friendship) with Nic Novicki
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Hello, folks, and hey, bear. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Bargatze, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber. Filling in for Dusty, who couldn't make it today. Nick Novicki. Nick Novicki. Let me tell you, we saw the sunrise that lies us. Minnelli? No. Man.

We have, we brought Nick in. We had a fun, we're going to get to tell some funny stories this weekend. Me and Nick were in California.

And we went to the Vanity Fair party, another party. Came straight here. Yeah, yeah. Came straight. Yeah, I mean, we really have both slept about an hour and a half. So we're, you know, I feel like people just, you know, I know it feels like we're doing a lot of celebrity talk recently. And they make me feel bad, like, you know. But I flew back here to do this. If I didn't, you know, it's like, how about you give me some credit for

Slumming it with the regular folks back at the park. Well, but I mean, I'm not slumming it, but it's like I'm not just blowing off. Of course. You know, coming back because we're just trying to be fun. He was flown back here by Tom Cruise in a fighter jet. Yeah, in a fighter. Got by real quick. We went right over. We went around Nick's Southwest flight. So a couple things. Dusty taped a special this week. Yeah.

And it went great. You spoke to him. Yeah, dude. He was pumped with it. He thinks it's going to come out great. Wants to thank everybody who came out. The shows were awesome. Excited to see that, dude. Awesome. Also, we have our announcement, Nick Thune. Nick Thune has a brand new half-hour special from Nateland called Born Young. It will premiere on Nateland this Friday, March 7th. This Friday, March 7th. We got the poster up right there.

It's a super fun one. So it's great. I've been around Nick forever, and he killed it. And it's just, you know, Nick's different, but in the best way. Totally. It's its own thing. And you can tell even from the trailer, which is great, which is up now if you want to get a feel for it. It's going to be a different vibe from some of the Nate Land stuff that you've seen so far. I love it.

All right. So before we get into our whole shebang, I feel like you – I do feel – I think I heard something that it was like people – because it sounds like we're named – this might be an episode of Name Dropping 2.

We're just saying that these people are here, but I don't know. I don't worship people. I think it's fun for us. We are not in that world. It would be more arrogant not to mention it to me. You're sharing it like a guy, can you believe this? A guy from Old Hickory is hanging out with these people. Yeah, yeah. It was crazy. If it gets normal, that's when you've got a problem. That's what I think. I'll let you know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, let me know. I was...

I had dinner with the Obamas last night. I'm joking. I don't. But I think you guys were somewhere that was probably, I can imagine, not being a name drop. Yeah, Saturday I did a show in Orlando, Florida for an organization called Nostalgia.

New Canaan Society and it was great. Our buddy Greg Warren was also in Orlando and he picked me up at the airport. Oh, how about that? I bet he didn't know what he was getting himself in for. He did not. I mean, his hotel was right by the airport. Mine was on the other side of Disney World. It took an hour to get me there. And I said, I'll buy your lunch. And he's like, yeah, you will. You buy me lunch or you got to bring me to Tampa.

Yeah, basically. And then we get there and our server's kind of slow and he gets up. Slow physically?

Yeah, like taking too long. Service. Okay. And I'm in mid-sentence telling a story I thought was interesting. And Greg just gets up from the table and goes and finds our server and comes back. And I'm like, all right, I'll pay. And he's like, I got it, man. I'm good. Paid for my meal as well. Wow. And I was like, I'll get the toll on the way back. But my wallet was in the bag. He got the toll. Yeah.

Yeah, he got the full Bates experience. Greg's the best, though. He's so fun. And then...

Flew home Sunday morning. Yesterday, I did a... Because you had time to waste at the restaurant because you were next to your hotel. Yeah. And he's got an hour drive back to get ready and then go back to the club. He may not have made a show. Yeah. He might not have got to go shower. He just had to... Go straight to the club. What time is this? Like 3, 4? No, it was earlier than that. But the truth is, he has a...

good college buddy that lives in Orlando. He was going to go see, uh, and you kind of ruined that. Well, I definitely cut it short. That's for sure. Yeah, that's for sure. Cause I'm going to drive by and say, what's up to you? Did you reach out to him?

Yeah. You didn't ask him for a ride. No, but you said, let's meet up. I just said, let's get together. I know, but you were there for 24 hours. You could just come in. Greg Warren's in Orlando just once a weekend with his buddy from college. Bates helicopters in and then calls him and goes, hey.

You're going to run all my errands for me. He whined and dined you. Yeah, exactly. That is a funny when you go, when you're like, you know, you're not mad. You're like happy to go be in C and something just kind of unravels. And then you're just like, dude, I didn't even really want to do anything. You know, and not that you didn't, but then almost everybody probably feels that way. You know, he drops you off one second to your hotel room.

and then just sits in Disney traffic. It's such a cool thing, though. When you're in a city, you look at the other clubs, the other venues, you see who else is here, and then you're like, oh, somebody I know. Like, it is a cool thing to be on the road with. I think we had a good time. What day was it? Saturday? Saturday.

Big show night, too. It's not Thursday. It's not where it's one show. It's not a Sunday where you're basically bored. I mean, it's the thick of it. Uh-huh.

He had just one show, too. Yeah. Yeah. I had to do 30 minutes. He had so much time. In my hotel, basically. I just walked down, did it, and went back up. Called Greg Warren. Why don't you come get me? Yeah. I told him that. I told him. I said, pick me up in the morning. Take me to the airport. He's like, I am not. Yeah.

But that was great. And then I flew home. Flew home for the first time ever on Spirit Airlines. Okay. You guys ever done Spirit? I have done it before. I think you're going backwards, my friend. I think you're correct. I got upgraded the last time to Vegas. I was in a first class. Of Spirit? Yeah. And I had a ticket. Did they let you sit inside the plane? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was the cheapest ticket.

So if you pay for the cheapest version, you don't get your seat assignment until the very end. Well, the first class was open, so I ended up in the best seat. Oh, wow. Is it a real first class? It's like a big, comfy seat. But they were bringing me things. And in the back of the plane was just cages and roosters and chickens all jammed up in there and just...

Fights, just, I mean, full-on street fights going down. And then Nick's like, I'll take a... Can I get a Diet Coke? No ice. The flight itself was fine, but when we got back to Nashville, I feel like the airport didn't treat us as well. Like, didn't give us good service because we're spirit. We had to sit on the tarmac forever before we could get a gate. And I'm looking out the window like, I need...

know we were here before that Delta flight. I think they purposely just like, Spirit, sorry. Then once we get off the plane, you have to get on a shuttle bus. It drives you across the tarmac to another... I've never done that. It happens at LAX too. Spirit is like...

every airline is like, hey, we're above. I feel like Spirit doesn't call ahead and let them know we're coming. So they land and then they go, all right, we'll try to find a spot to park real quick. I would bet the pilots at Spirit don't know where they're going until they back out. Yeah. And then they go, oh, all right. Where are we going? Yeah. And they land. You see their phone on the dash? And then they got to look. They could make Spirit, they go, look, you can park, but you got to look for it.

They go, what gate are we going to land at? You go, come on, pal. We don't know the gate we're going to be at. We're going to find it. But we're squeezing there. I think this guy's leaving. Squeezing. That David Spade joke. I thought of when I was on the plane. This Spade joke's so great. The guy, he goes, we drove around looking for parking.

He followed a guy to his plane. He goes, we saw a guy and he was walking to his plane. So we're like, all right, he's probably leaving. We followed him there. But he just forgot his keys. So then we had to circle back around. Yeah. That's, you know, Spirit was no plane crashes. Really? Yeah. They post that like, because after, you know, just the horrible plane stuff.

uh, spirits like, yeah, I mean like whatever, you know, it's like, they better not beat their chest too hard. Yeah. Who's, um,

whose brother was a pilot at Spirit. And it seems like a place that they were like, look, they love working. He loves working there. He loves the people he works with. I know it's looked at as this other airline, but it's kind of almost probably what Southwest kind of was. Southwest used to be the cheap bargain airport, and they're a little bit more now. I just booked a Spirit flight from Detroit to Nashville, and it was listed at $44. Wow.

And then once you go on... Yeah, you got to get... Carry-on fee. Carry-on. You can't have... Yeah. Carry-on fee and assigned seat. So after I chose those, it was $88. Still cheap. Oh, that's... I mean, that's insane. I know. I know. But yeah, you're going to check a bag too.

I'm not checking back. I mean, the total was $88. Yeah, if you want a water, that'll be another $20. Yeah. But I don't, I mean, that's crazy though. $88. Just bring your own water. I mean. Might have to buy it at the airport, but yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That counts as your carry-on though. No, you could bring a metal one and fill up. Yeah, that's true. That's true. So you could do $88. Even if it was $130. I know. That's crazy. To go to Detroit? Yeah. Yeah.

So you break even for your gig. You're right. I thought about that. And then, so that was yesterday. And then I did a lunch and a birthday party for a 90-year-old lady. All right. That's fun. That was a lot of fun. Yeah. It was great. It was at the Loveless Cafe. Yeah.

We got a great table here of covering all types of show business. Yeah, we sure do. We really do. It's like, I mean, that alone should be just worth it for this podcast to go, we show you everything. If you're a young comic, what gig do you want to hear about? Because we're going to tell you about everyone. All of them. We'll cover it all. All of them. I have done every kind of show business gig. I have too.

That's why I love talking about comedy because I've done parties. I've done birthday parties. I've done everything. I've been dressed as Elvis. I've been the devil. Yeah, yeah.

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Yeah, in Spokane. I was in Tacoma, Washington, Tacoma Comedy Club, and then Spokane Comedy Club. Two great clubs. Yeah. Two really, really good clubs. Almost all the shows were sold out. It was just a hot weekend. One of those weekends we talked about where everything's just kind of going great. Yeah. The drive from Tacoma to Spokane is one of the most beautiful drives I've ever made in my life through Washington. It was unbelievable. Unbelievable.

So great weekend. And then Sunday night, I do the show. I go back to my hotel room. I go to bed. Two hours later, I wake up. Top two or three sickest I've ever been in my life came out of nowhere. I'm on the floor of the bathroom. Called 911 on myself. 911. Called 911 on myself. Yeah.

And I just said, just come get me. I don't know what else to tell you. I'm on the bathroom floor. Come get me. So they came and got me. Ambulance ride. Yeah. Went and rode an ambulance. Oh, my gosh. TMZ has a video. Yeah. It was. Did you stay on the floor until they came in there? By the time they got there, I was sitting on the bed. But I was on the floor for a long time. He drove the ambulance, actually. A long time. Get another guy. Were you dressed? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I had sweats on and a t-shirt. And they had to bring a gurney all the way. Oh, yeah. They came up and got me. I rode out on a stretcher and down the elevator. Could you get on the stretcher or did they have to help you out? I could crawl on. When I called, what I was worried about was I felt like I was about to pass out. And I was worried I was going to pass out and then keep throwing up. Because the throw up, I mean, the vomit was...

insane yeah and it kept coming and i'm lightheaded and i was delirious enough i was like did i get poisoned like this is out of nowhere so like i don't know but i don't want to pass out and die on the bathroom floor in spokane so you figure i'll do it in the bed so i figure i'll do it at a hospital yeah like a gentleman like a gentleman yeah so it brought me to the er i spent six or seven hours just in the hallway

There wasn't a room for me, just on a hospital bed. They got me IVs and nauseam. Did you have your phone? I had my phone. The texts to my wife were hilarious, like looking back. Yeah. Because I did not have the wherewithal to even have a conversation with anybody. So I texted my wife at like 2 a.m., hey, I had a 5 a.m. flight. So at like 2 a.m., I go, hey, I think I'm going to have to push the flight back a little bit, just a heads up. I hadn't been home in four or five days, baby's at home.

And then my next text is at like 7 a.m. I just texted, I'm fine. And Lucy's like, well, the ER just called. I don't think you're fine. I couldn't even. And then I'm sitting there thinking, I'm like, well, my rental car is now late. I don't have a hotel room the next night. I missed my flight.

everything's just piling up it's just a nightmare you may just live there and then here's the craziest part was you know they take you to the er and the ambulance great and then when you're discharged they're just like good luck so it's like 6 37 in the morning monday morning monday morning i'm in spokane it's cold i have t-shirt sweatshirt on and they're like good luck

So I'm like so out of it. I like Google. I'm about two miles from the hotel. So I guess I'll just walk back to the hotel. So I pull up Uber, Spokane on a Monday morning. There's nothing. There's no cars. So I just start walking. And then I go, let me just send a call out on Uber. I call it. Dude, within like three seconds, car just pulls up.

Picks me up. I think it was an angel. I really don't... I mean, the guy came out of nowhere, gave me a ride back. I want to thank that guy. What do you mean? Send a call out? Like, I just go request an Uber, even though there's none. It says none in the area, but I just requested it. Oh, you can do that? And the guy came out of nowhere and got me. It was like a $2 Uber ride for him. There's no point of him doing that. Yeah, yeah. But he picked me up and brought me back. And then I had to stay in Spokane an extra day. It was just...

Such a great weekend. And then it was just such a tough, tough weekend. I just laid in the hotel bed throwing up. Anyway, I'm good now. It took me a long time to get back. Even when I, by the time I got home,

I told Lucy, I just got to lay in bed for a day. I can't do anything. Couldn't answer emails. I missed all kinds of stuff. Yeah. Meetings, I just didn't show up for. I was supposed to be on Today in Nashville, just didn't go because I just wasn't even thinking about it. So I'm all good now. But it was wild. That's the most sick I've been on the road for sure. Yeah. Where you're like, dude, I'm on the other side of the conversation.

country right now. Did you have a direct flight home? No, not from Spokane. I had to go Southwest to Denver. And then, so I flew out the next morning, still feeling like crap. Did you throw up on the plane? Not on the plane. I was done throwing up by then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I got it all out, dude. Yeah. I got it all. I got everything out. But then they're on that planes now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Pretty big trouble. Super spreader. No, I masked up on the plane. Oh, really? Yeah. They told me to. They were like, if you- The hospital? They go, yeah. They're like, you can fly home tomorrow. I would just wear a mask just for like, it's like just a nice thing to do. Yeah.

do i'll be honest i wish you had a mask on right now being next year i'm so fine now i'm not he even told me they're like you're not you're not contagious right now but just like if you don't want to be feeling like you're breathing on people where i'm good now though yeah but uh yeah man thank you to everybody came to those shows it was just such a whiplash from the shows were great to like three hours later i'm on the floor of the bathroom feeling like i'm gonna die you

You know. That's what, you know, it's welcome to the road, baby. I know, I know. It's so funny, like comedy. Have you ever been to an ambulance before? No. And I, no, I don't, I've definitely never, no. Yeah. I was thinking maybe I rode with somebody, but I've never been in an ambulance. You broke your back, right?

Yeah, but I think my dad drove me. But calling 911 on yourself is kind of funny. Yeah. Just like, you come get me. Well, the good thing, this is a comic. You're going to get some pretty good stuff. I've been thinking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the best part when you're like, all right, it might be a fun little story. You look back on it. Yeah, I was trying to think. I've been sick, and it's –

My voice was gone real bad once in Louisville. Are you there? Yeah. It was like insane. Sounded like this. Yeah, sounded like this. Worse than this, but it was, yeah, I'm trying to think of any, like, I've gotten sick on the road. I'm blanking on. I got sick once with you in Salt Lake City. Oh, yeah. I got real sick in Colorado. I ate like some kind of fish. Food poisoning? Yeah. Oh, man. With me. Yeah. Yeah.

You didn't eat it? No, it was just me. Hey, get my stomach and handle it. It was trout, and everybody was calling me Big Trout. Come on, Big Trout's coming in. Yeah, yeah. I'll never eat it again. Trout again. No, I'm never going to. Yeah, you think so. I would never eat it. Last night, the thing you ate on the thing was trout. Oh, my God.

All right. Well, a little lighter news. You had a different weekend? Sorry. You should have told us. I got a story about me dying. Give

given your own section. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, a memoriam section, but you, a memoriam section, but you do, you deliver it. So they're like, well, he's alive. Yeah. I know, but he felt like he died. Uh, so we were in, uh, I was at the Irvine improv this weekend. Great, amazing club, great crowd. Uh, very cool. Uh, so we were at Irvine improv this weekend and, uh,

I was already going to Irvine improv and then I got invited to the vanity fair Oscars party. You know, it's their big, big event. And since I, and since I was in Irvine, I was like, all right. I was like, well, what'd you get on the show and drive straight there and go? Uh,

The whole weekend, we had a fun weekend. We went to Knott's Berry Farms. Yeah. You know who the mascot is in Knott's Berry Farms? I don't know what Knott's Berry Farm is. Is it like Pepperidge Farms? No, it's like a theme. Food? Yeah, that's the goldfish. What is Knott's Berry Farms? I don't know either. It's a theme park. Oh, I never heard of it.

Yeah, that's fun. It's where Steve Martin started. Yeah. Steve Martin did magic at a theme park when he was like 14. He started in that park. Their mascot is Snoopy and all the Charlie Brown people. Woodstock. Yeah. Peanuts. Peanuts. Yeah. Which is kind of, isn't that kind of a lower energy cartoon? Yeah.

Kind of. It's a little more your speed. I mean that, but it's a little more sadder. It's not always... Yeah, it's not Weed of the Pooh, but it's not... Yeah, it's not like... It's not a happy...

That Linus music's pretty upbeat. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but Charlie Brown is like a tragic character. Can you do the rest of it, Nick? That's it. That was all I... I didn't think I was going to get called out. You don't even know it. Yeah, what was that? You kind of... Everyone felt it.

You don't even know it at all. It was a thing to full house. Everybody felt it. So they got a little thing. It's a cool theme park. It was right next to Disneyland, which is brutal. It's been around forever. But, I mean, it's next door to Disneyland. But, you know, there's a lot of people in there. So we go in there, just go walk around, check it out.

I'm trying to think of any... We rode some rides. Nick, so Nick... I saw one of you on the ride. Yeah. Here it is right here. We had a good time. We got on the roller coaster. Yeah, so this ride...

Fun little roller coaster. So what Nick does is you can get, you know, Nick's always working. Yeah. He's always working. But he can get a pass where he can skip the lines. Yeah. But then that line for the guest pass was pretty long. Yeah.

And I try, I still said, well, go, I go, that's the ultimate. If you can get in front of. And does he get to bring y'all with him too? Yeah. Yeah. But if he. It's like Southwest. Yeah. But if he gets the guest pass, if he could get that guest pass in front of the guest service line. So everybody there needs that pass. I was like, that's the ultimate. You can get in front of them. And he went over there and he came back. He goes a little too many canes. And he felt bad about that. So, um,

And so he doesn't do it. And then we go, we're just kind of walking around, just kind of wasting the day, not going nuts at this park. So we go through, and Nick goes and rides one ride with Travis and his son.

And so they go do this ride. And so Nick goes up and he's just like, look, I think I can get us in. This is what he does. So we go into the one entrance and I go in and I'm trying to talk to the guy. I'm like, look, we didn't get it. He's like, you have to have this pass. I was like...

And I think if you just keep asking different questions, you know, you're going to get them eventually. So I'm like, where do you get that again? He plays dumb. I know. That's my part. I go, where is that line again? How long do you, what time of day are you supposed to get it? Just a series of questions. And eventually the guy was like, okay, you can go, but you got to go in the exit. Yeah. And I go, thank you so much. What was your name? And he goes, Alejandro. I go, Alejandro, thank you so much. So then I go, we go to the other side and

And now I'm using his name. I'm throwing that Alejandro for the rest of the day. I'm like, Alejandro gave me the permission. Yeah. We get free food. If you see Nick out and he goes, what's your name? Do not give him your name. Your name is going to be how he ends up in the vault of whatever place you're at. He's like Gary Veeder's dad. Yes. Alejandro, we want to thank you. We had a great time. Thank you, Alejandro. He, uh...

Yeah, he goes, you told me you go. I mean, you have it all mapped out. You go, I just play dumb. And then he sits there. So we go ride this ride. We go up the wrong way. So I'm watching it firsthand. And he just stands there and he goes, yeah, he goes, can we go in this way? And the guy's like, oh, it's called a board pass. He's like, do you have a boarding pass? Nick's like, I don't. He goes, no, I don't have it.

And two is like when he's doing this, it's not him. He's like, I also have 50 people with me. And so he's like, oh, he goes, where is, oh, okay, where is that? And he's like, oh, it's over at the guest service. Oh, he goes, yeah, I just came up all the way to these stairs. And then he's like, well, that's whatever. And he did. He just kind of wears them out with questions. He wears them out with going like.

I don't know. Where is it? I got to, okay. And then eventually they're just like, all right, dude, just. Yeah, just get away from it. Just get away from it. Yeah. And Nick goes, and he's like, he's like thumbs up. Like we got it. So then we had to go walk around and. Let me see. Yeah.

I got a video of us in this line. Just the back half of this video. I mean, I'm losing my mind. So he drives a little scooter up the...

exit ramp. It's a long ramp and it's tiny. Like there's no... There shouldn't have been you're going to go up this ramp on a scooter. I mean, I'm barreling around corners. Like you can't see anything. Yeah. I mean, he was flying and that's where everybody exits. There's no way to turn around. So if...

If you show the video here, just pause it at the top and I'll show you the picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, all right. So, Nick is – so that's how tight the area is. It's a very small area. And I'm driving a Buick of a scooter. Yeah. And it is the size of a minivan. If you're listening, it's a very narrow hallway. Yeah. I think I said it. I go, it's a small area. No, you said if you look. No, I said, but if you look, it's a very tiny area. What?

I think, so I didn't address, if you're listening, I should address them as their own people. I think you should. Talking about something you're looking at. Yeah. It's a very narrow area. So Nick's cart was facing the opposite way. So he's got to do like kind of an Austin Powers thing.

you know, kind of thing. So hold on, go back. Go back to the beginning. I mean, I am, so you've, there's already been a whole thing. Dustin, Dustin Schafer was with us. He started filming this. It's already been a problem. He, he's got to let them, the roller coaster is trying to go, but he's got to drive on the platform. Okay. And so he gets her to hold that gate open and just immediately drive straight into that blue gate. Just boom. I mean, just drills it back,

You hear him backing up? You hear the beeping? Yeah. This is not him driving in, but this is him. Then he just comes. I mean, I'm losing it, dude. Oh, that was you standing there. Yeah. Oh, I mean, I'm crying. So that was facing the other way. Look, that fills up that whole aisle. It was facing that way. So he had to go in, go there, then he...

And then you hear the beeping. So now he's got to back up past the gate, and then he's going to drive through it. What do you have in your basket? I got it. I ended up being, first of all, oh, that's a whole other good story. But I also was just carrying everything. Once I got the scooter, they were like, let's just throw everything in. Oh, yeah. We almost as well. He doesn't need the scooter, but we make him take the scooter because we're like, we don't want to carry anything.

So where you got those stuffies, where you got the stuffed animals, was we go, they have a game in there where you can guess your age, weight, or month you were born, right?

And so this girl's there. So we told Nick, we're like, go do your weight. She's not going to be able to guess your weight. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, you're going to get a stuffed animal or whatever. I was like, go do that. So Nick goes over there and he's like, I want you to do my weight. And this girl just starts. She asks a bunch of questions. How close do they have to get? Your weight was- It had to be within three years.

Three years or 20 pounds. 20 pounds. Yeah, two years. Age was two years. Weight was 20 pounds, I guess. So it felt like this girl's like, well, I'm not doing the weight thing. And she's like, I'm just going to guess your age. Well, no one said about age. We go over and said weight. I go, yeah, we're going to do weight. She's asking me a series of questions.

Okay. You know, asking me what I eat, what I eat for breakfast, you know, things like that. And then she's not factoring any of this. She's not factoring anything. Then she's like, well, what was your favorite action figure as a kid? And I'm like, what does this have to do with my weight? You know, but I'm like, GI Joe, you know, and then boom, she's like, you're 46. I was like, whoa. Yeah.

46. So if you're listening or watching, Nick is 42 years old. So the funniest part is she's got to get it within two years. So that means what I believe is she wanted to say 48. But then she goes, I better be polite and back it up a little bit. And she goes, 46. Nick, no one thinks you're 46. But it was such a funny idea that you're like, now he just leaves that game sad. Yeah.

Right. You know, like if they did, if you walk around or if you did one of those guess the weight thing and then they were like 280 and you're like 210. I mean, now you got a big stuffed animal, but you're just, you walk around sad the rest of the day. Just like, I don't know anymore. Yeah.

She was kind of crazy, too. After, she's guessing a woman's weight. She was like way over. She was like, man, what are you, about 210? It's like, the lady was like, she's about to cry. I was like, this lady's like, man, what, a deuce and a quarter? You know? Yeah. Yeah.

She was off. So it was very, we had a lot of fun with that. Let me ask you an important question, Brian. Are you ready to optimize your nutrition this year? Yes. Factor has chef-made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. They are dietician approved, ready to heat and eat in two minutes. So you can fuel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you. You've eaten these. I've eaten these. Yeah, they're great. Pop them right in the microwave. Yep.

They're ready right away. I love Factor. I ate it for like two years straight. I still enjoy it. When I was really losing weight, Factor was a big part of it. It was a big factor. It was a huge factor. How about that, dude? How about that? Yeah.

Wow, that's why they call it that. That's pretty nice because it just takes all the work out of it. You know somebody has put together a healthy meal for you. You don't have to worry about getting vegetables, chopping them up, making them taste good. It's all right there. And you can actually fine-tune it if you want to go all keto or something like that. Or if you don't care about counting calories, there's options for that too. You can choose from all kinds of preferences. Over 40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each.

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the hotel to change into the tuxedos we have on right now looking good go to the veiny fair party we walk in nick is surprised he knows everybody right we walk in i mean at nick's by everybody's coming up to him and he's hugging people and yeah oh do you have to bait like they know they're your best friends with everybody and you could have got in there without me no yes

I know Alejandro, but... You look like your date is not only a dude, but a little person. You look like the most progressive celebrity out there. This guy gets it.

He was my date. Nick took me on a date to Boardwalk Empire premiere about 15 years ago. So this is my, I'm repaying him. So we go in, we do, you know, we're doing, like you do one by yourself, then you do one together. And we're going through, Halle Berry is right next to Nick. So I told him, there's, you know, if you scroll all the way over, you'll see Halle.

On this one, you see there's a picture of... So that's Halle Berry kind of in the background in the silver dress. Right there, yeah. That's Nick walking off after his pictures. You don't look happy there. Yeah, I got caught mid, you know, throwing up. Well, I was trying to get a picture because they were both standing there taking pictures. So I was trying to get a picture of Nick and Halle Berry. And then we walk in and then...

Halle Berry walks by and Nick's like, hey, how you doing? She goes, oh, good, yeah. I'm like, have fun. All right, y'all have fun. Keep walking. That's it. Nothing. I never talk about this again until later. And then when we're leaving, we're leaving with Travis. We met Halle Berry. He's like, when?

I go, Nick, you talk to Halle Berry. He can't see. Like they were, it was us, it was me, him, and Halle Berry walking alone. And I even, I mean, so he brought it up. So he goes, we go through, we go in the party, like it's, we're getting to talk to everybody. Ray Romano's there and everything.

Got to talk to Billy Crystal and talk to Conan about hosting. I thought Conan did a great job hosting. He was great. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, it was like super fun and it's –

So you got to see some of the awards. No, no, no, no. No, I just went to the Vanity Fair party. We watched the opening monologue. We watched it on TV. How did you know? Yeah, okay. We watched it on TV. It was, I thought he did great. I thought it was like, you know, it is a brutal job. I get the idea of wanting to host an award show, though, because there's a part of you that wants to, you know, because just the challenge of it. But it is a completely thankless job.

But he did great. He crushed it. So, yeah, we're in there trying to think what was the... Well, it was just nuts talking to him because he literally just got off. And so we're, you know, this is a random guy who had an Oscar and...

And he wins, well, not random. He's an Academy Award of sound. Some schmuck off the street. But it was a guy that we just started talking to. And then he almost had the Oscar in his back pocket. And he was like, I happen to also have an Oscar. So we ended up holding it. Yeah, everybody's walking around Oscars. We have a picture of us not holding it, but he did let us hold it. And so there was...

It was, yeah. Oscar's very heavy. Really heavy. Yeah. They gave it, yeah, because he gave one to Nick and I immediately put my hands underneath it. Because Nick just took it. He just goes, oh, hold it. I was like, I go, he's going to. It was too heavy. Yeah, I was like, this is about to fall to the ground. And I mean, these people are, I mean, dude, it's crazy just to be at a party and you're just seeing people walking around with all the Oscars. Yeah, yeah.

Everybody to that one. So we're walking around where, you know, you get to say hi to people and all this. We go up. There's Queen Latifah. And I was like, Nick walks up to her and he goes, hey, what's up? She goes, hey, what's up? Right. And then he walks back. Of course, Nick can't. He's got the eyesight of a bat. And

So he doesn't know. I know he doesn't know. His eyesight plays into a lot. Yeah. And so he doesn't know. And I go, dude, that was Queen Latifah. And he goes, what? And then he goes, so now he wants to go back and talk to her again. Because now he knows who she is. Yeah, yeah. And so he's waiting to talk to her like you're at a wedding waiting to –

you know, give the bride an envelope. And so he just stands there and then does the exact same. Yeah. Just goes, hey, she goes, hey, how are you? That was it. That was the best part. Literally, I got done exactly what I wanted to wait in line to do again. And I'm just there kind of like,

I'm waiting to have my opportunity of the exact same thing. You can't go further. It's not possible. It's just like six people around her. You can't have a longer conversation than that. You just wanted to say hi knowing it was her, though. Yeah. I know, but it's just like she... I mean, it's not like it was 20 minutes ago. It was a minute. It was on... He's on the left of her and goes, hi, and she goes, hi, and then by the time he gets to the right of her, he's in line. He's waiting in line.

And he's like, and then it's like, all right. And she's been, by the way, in conversation the whole time. It's not like she's alone. She's talking to someone. So now Nick's just standing there waiting behind her. So then we go walk by. Then you see Adrian Brody. Oh, this is the best. So Adrian Brody won Oscar for the Brutus. So when I did my, I know my cruise that I get made fun of for doing the big Paul Allen cruise that had all the celebrities on it.

Adrian Brody was there. So I was like, I go, you want to go meet Adrian Brody? He was so excited about it. He goes, all right, man, let's go. My boy, Adrian Brody. Yeah, boy. My boy. We had a good time together. We go back. We go way back. He's going to be really excited. Probably 10 years ago. Probably 10 years ago. Did y'all hang out on that cruise or were you just around each other? We did. Apparently.

Apparently not as much as I thought we would. But we definitely did. So I was like, let's go meet him. I was like, you know, this is the guy. It's his night, you know. And so he's sitting over there and he's sitting on the couch. Again, he's the same thing like Queen. Like no one wants you to come up to him. And then me and Nick are just walking up to people like, you know, like they're rides. And so I go down there and I was like, hey, man. I was like, Nate –

And there's no context to anything that I'm saying to you. And so he goes, oh, hey, he doesn't know me. And there's no context. And I was like, ah, we went on that boat. Remember that boat? We went on that trip. And he goes, ah, yeah. I go, we're in the South China Sea. Yeah.

And he goes, okay. And then this buddy next to him did know me. He was like, I'm a big fan. And I was like, oh, I appreciate it. I go, South China Sea. Yeah, yeah. Does that not narrow it down at all? He goes, South China Sea. And all of a sudden he goes, oh, yeah, that was crazy. But like he. I still don't remember. He wasn't even looking at me when he said that's crazy. He was looking. He goes, yeah, that was a wild trip. And I was like, he doesn't remember any of this. Wow.

It was just so great. I think he almost said it a third time. South China Sea on the way out. I mean, imagine just someone, you just won an Oscar. You cried, you gave a speech, and within an hour, you got a guy just going, South China Sea. Hey, dog. Yeah. What's up, Adrian? He might have recognized me more than you.

Yeah, why? Because I did this night show with him. Oh, yeah. Like three weeks ago. Dressing room right next to him. Did you talk to him? No. You could have got him in. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm saying I feel like I have as much of an in. Yeah. You do. Yeah, you do have as much of an in. I should have. If I knew you did that, I would have brought that up. South China Sea. Aaron Weber. Aaron Weber.

Ambulance. So then we go. The guy set the record for longest Oscar acceptance speech. Wow. Five and a half minutes. Last night? Yeah. Wow. Set the record.

That's so. So then five and a half minutes. That's also the another fun story from last night. Sean Baker, who also broke a record. He broke a record last night. Won four Oscars. Five Oscars. I thought it was five. It was. It was more than Walt Disney is what someone said. We read that. Nora. Right. Nora.

So he used to do stand-up comedy. I was on a show with him. You know, I've met him a couple times. But again, coming off the excitement of the Adrian Brody. Met him a couple times years ago. Years ago. Yeah. Years ago. But like, you know. Yeah.

And, you know, we just had so much excitement with Adrian Brody being so excited to, you know, re-see Nate. Nick's been loving it. He's been making fun of me. I have been making fun of him. I just keep walking around going, South China Sea. South China Sea. So then I'm like, you know, we're talking to these women from the Washington Post and somebody else that's just there. Yeah, which we got mentioned in the Washington Post. Yeah, we got mentioned for what's about to happen. Yeah.

So I tell him, you know, I've done comedy with Sean Baker. I'm so proud of him. I mean, he's done, you know, movies from an iPhone. His first movie did everything together. I'm just so proud. I can't wait to see him and congratulate him and say hi. And she goes, he's right over there. I go, oh, well,

All right, well, let's go, Nate. Let's go over. We're going to see my boy, Sean. We're back in the pit with Adrian Brody. What we didn't pick on, we just shouldn't have been in that pit. There was like a kind of two-step down pit area, and that seemed where the Oscar people were. And it was like, I don't know, maybe leave them alone. So I go up to him, and I'm like, hey, what's up? And he's so nice. He goes, hey, how are you? I'm Sean. I'm like, oh.

I'm like crushed for a second. I'm like, I'm thinking this is like my cousin, you know? I bet he's going to be like, give me a kiss on my cheek or something. Like so excited. And I go, oh, you know, we did comedy together. He goes,

Oh, yeah. And I probably should have just left it at that. But now I'm just keep going. I'm like, you know, Ian Edwards, a comedian that we both know. He goes, oh, yeah, man. God, you know, I know it's just crazy. I'm just going further. I'm like the Easter Seals Disability Film Challenge. We were talking about that. He goes, yes, that's right.

man. It just keeps going. He's like, man, I'm so sorry. He's like, I feel like everything's just been so nuts. I feel like, you know, I've been having like a vasectomy today. I'm like, oh, okay. I'm just like the South China Sea. He's just, and someone's with him going, he's got to go. And I mean, he's got five Oscars. He was the big star of the night. Yeah. He's got all this stuff.

He was so nice, though. He couldn't have been cooler. Yeah, he was very, very nice. He was just like, hey. Yeah, that's what Adrian Brody was. They're all very nice being polite to amuse us when they don't want to go to it. So then we go to this other...

after party. And so then it's after party that like everybody's supposedly going to. And, uh, so we get there and we walk in and you're like, all right, this will be the one that's supposedly like, this is where like kind of everybody hangs out, uh, late and stuff. And, uh, we walk in guy, we're sitting there. Guy walks up to Nick, uh,

And like bends down and goes like, hey, man, what's up? And Nick's like, hey, man, great. He goes, you doing good? He goes, yeah, doing good, man. He goes, all right, I'll see you, man. And then he walks off. And then Nick just walks over to me. He's not talking. And he's not like addressing what happened. I know who the guy was. So I could see the guy. And I was like, he doesn't even, he doesn't know who this, who that was. It was Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah.

Dude, Leonardo DiCaprio got an inch from his face. He bent down, gave me a hug, gave me a little hug and a dab. And was like, how's it going, man? He's like, yeah, it's good, man. You go do whatever. And then... Keep it on, keep it on, brother. Nick shouldn't even have been within 12 blocks of this party. And he's got the main guy coming up saying hello. And he's like, all right, brother, I'll see you. Uh...

Do you know him? No. No. I just was – it was like I'm standing in the middle, and I'm just kind of – I'll be friendly to anybody. I make eye contact. I'm just like, hey, what's up? He made eye contact too. I watched the whole thing. He came. He saw you, and he bent down and he said what's up. I mean, it was like – it was your moment. I mean, I think if you'd have been like, where are y'all going? Can I come hang? He would have been like, yes. Yeah. He was being super cool with that –

the little inner reaction, but then the, the, you blew him off and he just, he did it. He did it as if it was just like someone after the show going great show. And he's like, yeah, appreciate it. Thanks for coming out, man. Thanks for coming out, man. Like, uh,

And he's just not talking. And I was like, I debated. In the moment, I was like, should I wait and tell you like today? But then I was like, I kind of went, yeah. Then I was like, I'll just tell you. And I go, do you know who that was? He's like, no. You couldn't see their face at all. He was in your face. Y'all would have kissed almost. And then Leonardo DiCaprio. But this party was like super fun. I don't know if there's just like, you know, everybody was just kind of at this party. Yeah, yeah.

Did we have anything funny? There was a guy randomly who, you're not supposed to take photos at this. If you're not supposed to take photos, somebody's going to want to take the camera out and involve me in it in a place. So he singles me out and is trying to take videos with me and photos. And he's like, I'm going to introduce you to Megan Thee Stallion.

But he's now like... The Stallion? Stallion. Yeah. I didn't say... What did you say? I just said it really kind of... I just said, Megastallion. Yeah. Megan... It's not like a transformer. He said Megan Nostalgia. Nostalgic. I think he said Mustalia. Yeah. Megan Mustalia. Megan Mustalia. Megan Mustalia.

So he's like, yeah, she's my friend. She's like, you know, he's got now a phone out and he's just filming me.

And literally, on the way in, they're making you everywhere. No phones, no anything. And he's doing it. And now it's just a little person and this guy who's had a couple of cocktails who's just filming. And he's like, I'm going to introduce you to my friend. And they come up immediately. But Nick goes with it. So then I walk over there and I'm like, dude, this guy is like, you know.

He's been drinking. Yeah, he's not a fish. I was kind of like, let's kind of get moving. And then Nick's like, we're going to go with him. We're going to meet Mega Mustalia. And then I'm like, all right. So then I'm just, then we start walking over there, and then he's trying to do more pictures. And then someone comes up and says, you cannot use your picture. Then they look at us, and we're like, we're not, we didn't want to be a part of this. This guy's just being kind of a nightmare.

And then, so then everybody's dancing and stuff, and then me and Nick are standing on the side. And then he comes over and starts dancing just in front of us. Yeah. For a second. The guy with the camera. Yeah. Like, he just starts, like, you know, and then we're just looking at him. He's like, he just turns around and walks away. Very weird. Yeah. But it was crazy. McCulkins were there. McCulloch and McCulkin. And, yeah.

What's his brother's name? Rory. Rory McCulkin. There is a Rory. Yeah, but that's not the one. No. Yeah. It's about Macaulay Culkin? Yeah. But what's his brother's name that won all the Oscar last night? Well, yeah. Karen. Karen. The one that we had a conversation with, and he's awesome. He won. He brings up Rory McCulkin.

which I guess there's another brother. I told him that's like, uh, being like, uh, I met a Cooper Manning. Uh,

Yeah, he was awesome. He was awesome. He was like... Again, they probably think y'all are the most progressive couple. Oh, yeah. So everybody's like, these guys... Oh, we fit in. Yeah. Yeah, we're doing good. He was super cool. And yeah, yeah. Like, him and his wife were very down. He's going to say he's going to have four kids with his wife afterwards. And, you know, it was very funny. His wife's like, well, I didn't think he was going to win. Yeah. And so it was...

His speech was funny. Yeah, yeah. His speech was funny. He was like very, like, you know, just a normal, like very normal kind of person. He was a fan of Nate's. I would not have thought that. Yeah. Well, he was a fan. A child star. I know. And all his characters seemed just so crazy. Neurotic. Neurotic, yeah. I mean, yeah. He's a good actor. Yeah, he is a very good actor. Yeah. Yeah, it was super, super fun. We saw, you know, yeah. So, I mean, I don't know. That was kind of it.

It was a fun night, though. It was a really special night. Thank you. Yeah. And also, thank you. Shout out, you know, Amber. We got them all fitted up in a tux. Yeah, we got a fancy tuxedo. Got a great tuxedo for them. So, really crazy. Special night. Special night. Anyway, so, Aaron, just get back to your hospital. Yeah. I wasn't in the ambulance.

Aaron got a nice recognition, though, for his special. Yes. Last week, we talked about Dusty being one of the top 25 Netflix specials, which there's only 26. So Nate was only one that didn't make it. But Aaron's what, top five or five specials to watch? Five specials to watch. Vulture did a nice write-up about it. So it's a quarter of a million views now.

It's getting up there. It's going to keep growing. They said you were better observing than Nate. They did. I think we agree. They did in the article. Yeah. They said not as silly as Nate, but a slightly sharper observer. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I like being silly. That was nice to hear. You don't care about sharp observations. You don't notice things, but you're pretty silly. I don't notice them, but I am fun and silly.

So, all right. Since we wore tuxes, this is a whole shin dig. All right, Aaron. It's March. Spring's around the corner. Absolutely. And it's the perfect time to refresh your routine. Maybe you're thinking about shaking off the winter blues, focusing on your wellness, or simply finding a new way to feel energized throughout the day. Well, here's one change you can actually stick to. Ditching the endless cups of coffee for something better. Yeah. Mud water. Yeah.

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Christina Marshall. That was a crazy fun episode for me. Two of my absolute favorite things coming together. Huge Teethers fan. I cried when I watched Ben play his last game, and I am also a huge Nate Lamb fan. This was a nerd cluster of an episode. Ben Roethlisberger. Ben Roethlisberger in your seat last week. That's pretty crazy. Yeah. Big Ben. Mm-hmm. And we got Big Nick. Big Nick. Yeah. Yeah.

Terry Hagan is a hot dog. If a hot dog is a sandwich, then you have to make a similar claim that a corn dog is a sandwich. Okay. Or ravioli or tacos. What? One could even go so far as to claim that deep fried chicken with a heavy breading on the outside is a sandwich. No, a hot dog cannot be a sandwich.

I don't really get the argument. Saying like if you're counting everything with bread around it, if you got meat inside of bread, then a ravioli would be considered a sandwich because it's meat wrapped around bread. Somebody would consider a hot dog a sandwich? That was the debate. That's like the internet debate that people ask. But it's at least a bun.

Because whatever definition you have for a sandwich, a little offended I wasn't on the sandwiches episode. A lot of people said that. I felt like next time, maybe you'll do a Notre Dame episode next time I'm gone. I know. Yeah. Any definition you have for a sandwich could also apply to a hot dog when you think about it. Yeah. So that's the argument. I feel like the bread of a hot dog is really just to hold the hot dog. Yeah. You eat it too. What is the bread of a sandwich for?

How do you eat hot dogs? I mean, I try to just hold the bread and eat around it. Eat some of it. If it's two pieces of bread, does that make it a sandwich? The bun is two pieces of bread. But it's connected. So then that's the differentiator? It's just that the two pieces of bread are connected loosely? Well, I'm just saying what the argument is. I know. I'm not attacking you. No.

I didn't know you were going to be in the hospital last week when I chose sandwiches. Yeah, yeah. That's true. Mike Nelson, what makes something a burger versus a sandwich? I'd say it's either on a bun or it's bread. But I seem to only ever hear Americans call it a chicken sandwich. For example, a McChicken in Australia would be a chicken burger over here and a flail fish would be a fish burger. Hope we clear this up. There we go. I mean, I think what makes a burger a burger is if it's a burger. Yeah.

Yeah, I agree with you. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I don't know about that one. I think if it's ground chicken formed into a patty like a McChicken is, then you can think of that more like a burger. Okay. But a filet, like a chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A or Popeye's where it's just a cut of chicken, that's a chicken sandwich and it's not a burger. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It can't be a burger unless it's beef. Matthew Perkins said,

Having someone on who is a good laugher really helps. Craig Warren is the best. Close second. Brian Bates. Nick Novicki. You're in there. Look at that. I ended up in the comments. You made it in the comments. Thank you. Doug Morris. TV above the mantle is a life hack to be able to watch the game and allow your kids to be in the room while watching sports.

Aaron, being the good dad that he is, will soon be advocating TV above the mantles for anyone with children. Man, I just don't know. I just don't know if I will. You don't like a TV above the mantles. I think the TV should be low. I think it should be eye level with you on the count. I agree. Our house.

Yeah, we talked about it. He didn't like it. You don't like ours? I think it's up, but then you pull it. You can pull it down and it's way better. It's way better. But it's still not as low as I would like, ideally. We're all, you know, we have to work with the room that we're in. You have to make adjustments. But in an ideal world...

You want it to be eye level with you on the couch. I am a big fan of you showing. He shows where the TVs should go all the time. Hotels and Airbnbs. The setups people have are absurd, dude. Yeah. Where you want to go like, talk me through how you think somebody is going to use this. Yeah. Let me stand straight up and watch TV all day. Yeah. Come on, dude. Yeah. Let's lower the TVs out here. Do it on your treadmill. Yeah.

Marcus Sherman. During one of Nate's earlier diets, he had challenged the guys to a weight loss competition. I remember Brian and Nate landing specifically on racing to 165. In August of 23, spurred by a family reunion gone wrong,

I'd like to know about that. Yeah, me too. I started my weight loss journey. The three-legged race was not fun. They did a guess your weight at your family reunion. He was 5'10", about 330. As of today, he weighed in at 165. Wow. That's crazy. 50% loss. I got there first.

Wow. He did. That's crazy. 50% loss. Congrats, Marcus Sherman. Wow. I mean, you're half. Think about it. There'd be two of you is what you were. Yeah. That's so crazy. That's unbelievable. Oh, yeah. Right back in about this family reunion gone wrong. I'm picturing like a sack race that just got out of hand because he was so big. Yeah, maybe. I just thought they maybe made fun of him. Yeah. Maybe ate too much.

I ate too much. Maybe he had a little too much potato salad. He was like, there you go. There's not enough buns for the hot dog. They go, Marcus. They go, I don't even have to tell you, but Marcus got into those buns. He's eating raw buns. And he eats raw buns. And then it didn't map out. We were already one short to begin with. And then now that Marcus showed up, and now we're in big trouble. But congratulations, bud. Pratik Thepleleow.

the pill out of you. That's very good. It's always the second one that... Beat the pill out of you. Fappily y'all. Fappily y'all. I bet it's... Fappily y'all. Yeah. I know Nate doesn't say bad words on screen. What about a role, though? If offered a part in a movie or a TV show where the character says and does that kind of stuff, will he do it?

How big will the director or the movie need to be for Nate to accept this situation? That's a good question. Interesting question. Good question. Adrian Brody.

If Adrian Brody asked me to do it, I'd go. It is like Scorsese. South China Sea. Yeah. Scorsese calls you and he goes, I want you to be the lead in the next movie. But you're like a mobster, a tough guy. You have to just beat people up. You're screaming obscenities. I mean, all his movies. He says the F word 500 times. But you have to be that guy. But this is like, but it's an undeniably great movie. I wouldn't. If I couldn't figure it out not to do it.

I have not got plenty of stuff because of that exact thing. Not that I'm great or deserving of this stuff, but when I go in, I can, I mean, I did one with the Coen Brothers. I auditioned for a thing with the Coen Brothers. They asked me not too long ago. It was a movie that does have all that kind of stuff in it. You know, they're obviously, that's about as big as it can get. I would love to do a Coen Brothers movie. Yeah.

And when I read the part, I just said, I'm not going to curse in this part. And then I did it, and they went through it with me, and I think they liked me a lot. And the casting director, they were, like, wonderful, but I just said, I'm not going to curse, and I did parts. And, you know, I'm not in the movie. I don't know if that's – I'm not saying that's why. Probably because I stink. But it's – I've had – yeah, I mean, I think that hurt me with a lot.

It didn't hurt me, but it was like I just couldn't ever really go do anything, even when I was younger. Like younger, I guess maybe I could have been – I could have said something out of pure – if like Martin Scorsese or the Corn Brothers came to me and I'm 30. Yeah, yeah. And then you're like, I think I have to do this. It's like I could see in a situation like that. But even back then, I was not –

I wouldn't go do stuff. Because there's a lot of comedies that would be very dirty and they'd want me to go read for them. And I just wouldn't do it. So I don't... I mean, no, I don't think I would do it. So... The other thing is... If I can figure it... I'm not saying I wouldn't be in a movie where it's maybe not stuff like that's happening. But my character, you know... I mean, as of now, and I've said no to stuff, so I wouldn't. But...

We're, you know, but yeah, I don't know. I'm not perfect. Yeah. That's just where I've kind of stuck. You just take the role and then just start changing it on the scene? Yeah. Well, when I read the audition, I didn't do it with them. I just was like, I'm not going to curse. I've done it. Even in the audition. I was supposed to be naked in two different movies that I agreed to be in. I go, hey, how about we change some of this up a little bit? He accepts it. I accept it and change it when I get there. I go, hey, guys,

a little idea of a change here. He does what he does for those rides. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They get there. I mean, one, he like flew to Europe, right? He goes to Europe. They flew him to Europe. The whole point of this was they've all agreed that this is what happened. The day it's supposed to happen, he goes, eh.

what if we didn't do that part? And then they're like, yeah, I guess we can't now. Yeah. It's better than if you were doing it the other way around. Yeah. Yeah. Nick, it's a lifetime movie that we're doing. It's a Christmas film. Yeah. Julianne. Julianne.

Does Nick Novicki still live in Los Angeles? If he does, did he start those fires? Yes. Yes and yes. I live in Culver City. Just moved.

You were not affected by the fires, but your old house and where Dustin Chafin lives were, I mean. Yeah, it was. Actually, I was in Vegas with you about to go on stage. The city of Los Angeles thought I still lived where I lived. I got an evacuation order. My wife is eight and a half months pregnant, and we have a three-year-old. And I'm like, what? So luckily, yeah.

it didn't affect where we are. Luckily, she was alone. Luckily, I left her with very little resources while I was having an unbelievable time eating steak dinner, having a great time with my friends, working. Kind of like you with Hurricane Sandy. Yeah, yeah. I owe Till his wife a lot. I mean, we put him in so many situations. He's like, what if you come do this? And he's like, hey.

And then he's like, I just did all of this. And then he's like, let me go see. And then he's got to walk in like a husband that just goes, I was thinking like, what? You got to ask. You know, you got to know when to ask. Oh, yeah, yeah. You go sometimes where it's like your buddy could be like, hey, do you want to come do this? And then he's like, just go ask your wife. You go, give me a couple of days. Yeah, yeah. Let me...

Look, I think I can do it. Give me a couple minutes. Let me lay some groundwork. Yeah, yeah. Clean the house a little bit. I'll do something. Yeah, I got to. If I go in there right now, we're getting immediate, though. See, the problem is there's always groundwork while I'm asking for one thing and then another thing. Let me tell you about next week in Texas. Also, when you have time, I want to talk about something with Nate.

That is the hard thing, too, of like last night. I mean, it was a really special night. It's hard to not say it was. You know, my wife's, you know, we have a three-week-old baby. So she's got like vomit on her and the other baby. She's like, how was your night? I'm like in a tuxedo. I'm like South China Sea. Yeah, he was, yeah.

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Today's topic is friendship. And Dusty had a dropout last minute. I thought we were all going to be here, but we can maybe talk about it the following week when he's here. I don't think you're here next week, but we can continue with him. So this was actually suggested by a folk. I was at a show a few weeks ago and Jeremy, and he said, I'd love to hear one on friendship. People always ask, they want to know how we met each other, which I think we've kind of talked about on here. There's no great stories, but...

People would like to know. So it's kind of great you're here because you and Nate have known each other the longest. Yeah. Yeah. How did you guys first meet? Boston Comedy Club. Boston Comedy Club. In New York City. It's called Boston. Yeah, there was a club that we would do all the time. Dustin Chafin ran it. He was in Irvine all weekend. And I actually started living with him. Just graduated college, started living with him. I was living in a living room in Queens, California.

And it was like really cheap, a great setup. And I had this giant living room all to myself that was a sheet that was like half the living room is, and it was like a big studio almost. So then Nate moves in.

And so now we have to cut the sheet in half. Yeah. And Nate is on the one side. And I'm like, what is this? You know, he's moving it. But then it ended up being great. So y'all lived together separated by a shower curtain? A shower curtain. In the living room? And we just became like so tight just playing video games and just like it was great. It was the most fun ever. But it was crazy because I did not get any space. Yeah.

Nick's room was, it was a very big living room. I mean, I had a dresser. I had all kinds of stuff. He had all kinds of stuff in there. And then so I had a sliver. A full bed couldn't fit in my curtain. So I had to sleep on one of those like a recliner that folds out to a bed. And so that's what I slept on.

I had the air conditioner. It was right above my head. That's pretty sweet. It was good. So it would always get hot, but I would, you know, my, I mean, but you know, it's like, it's like one of those, like it's a blessing and a curse where you're like, you glad it's there. You'd rather there than not be there, but man, it's on top of you. You know, and this ain't, there ain't no duvets back then. You don't have like all the, you know, you got like 40, 40,

thin blankets on you. I think they had big blankets back then. I don't even know what the name is. I don't even know what the name is.

Well, I know, but no dude was buying it. You could have bought a heavy blanket. I didn't even... That was when you're young. Like, you're not even... I know. You're sleeping with a towel as a blanket. You wouldn't even... Yeah, you don't even think... There's no like, oh, I should probably decorate this. Yeah. It's four dudes in a one-bedroom apartment. So we weren't decorating. No. Yeah. It was a...

not a great you know obviously a vet like a real bad yeah so no one there was nothing that was you know it was about any house stuff you're like I just needed a place to go at night yeah nobody had silverware all that kind of stuff yeah no no silverware no yeah I mean no one was doing you know you're just we're all just minding our own business like doing doing comedy

And so you just like, you go out all day and night and then you... And then one of the roommates too, Rich Aronovich, had this crazy catalog of old VHS, you know, tapes of comics and stuff. So it was neat. It was a fun time. Yeah. I don't know if we've told the story about the Nick...

uh, made rich audition for a sketch. Was it a sketch? It was, it was like a short film, short film that Nick was doing. So the root roommates that rich is allowing Nick to stay there. Nick's not supposed to be staying there. He's allowing Nick to stay there. And he goes, and rich is like, just enriches, like very funny. And like, he does a, I don't know if you've seen, but like a bunch of the dancing videos and, uh,

It's like he dances crazy on the cruise ship and all this. I think it's been big on TikTok and stuff like that. Wonderful person. And so Rich was very, very talented. He always reminded me of Howie Mandel.

Like, he just was like that kind of guy. Very, very funny. Physical, too. Yeah. And so he wants the part. We're like, just give him the part. Like, I mean, Nick is talking like he's, you know, Adrian Brody. Yeah. And he goes, uh.

In fairness, though, I told him, look, it was supposed to be an old guy that was an agent. He's in his 20s, you know? And so I'm like, the part is you're supposed to be this old, you know, guy. And so this is like a, you know, a camp, an actor comic camp. So he comes back out and he goes in a tuxedo with slicked back hair. And he goes, I'm ready for it. I want to audition. Like, I'm ready.

I'll show you. So now we're doing an audition, and Dustin and Nate walk in. It looks like we're in a casting session in our living room. And we walk in to hear Nick go, I don't think it's going to work. And then he shut his curtain and went to bed. Yeah, me and Nick, we were with Dustin. We were just all in New York hanging out. Nick moved to...

You went to L.A. pretty quick, quicker than I sometimes even think about. But you were coming back to New York so much. Yeah. Like, you were in – I mean, I felt like you were there once a month and you just stayed with us. I stayed with you and Laura, like, you know, an insane amount. Yeah, yeah. For the Boardwalk Empire, for all these things. Yeah. Almost didn't get the Sopranos, the first role I ever got in Sopranos because I was playing Madden with Nate until –

four in the morning the day of the audition and dustin comes in he's like you should be you know working on your thing well i think laura read us lines with you that was for a different oh yeah that was for a movie that i was cast in with kate hudson yeah and i got it very emotional very exciting thing i tell my parents i got it oh my god you know this is they end up

Giving my part away, Peter Dinklage decides to do it. So even though I'm hired after five auditions, they just go. I was filming in Boardwalk Empire. So they knew dates of when my episodes were. So they were like, you know, it's got to be. He's got to be in New Orleans on this day for rehearsal. I could be there any other day. I could be. I'm telling my agent. And eventually they were like, yeah, they wanted Peter Dinklage the whole time. And they're using you as like bait.

So they, they, you know, paid me, you know, and basically I, I messed him up. So I cost him a lot of money on that deal. Cause they're like, we got a guy already hired. Oh yeah. Yeah.

That's great. I had to retell that whole emotional, like my mom, she's like, I'm so proud of you. I had to call her up and be like, hey. Everything you've worked for, everything you've done. I always believed in you. So anyways, a couple things. I'm coming home next week. That part didn't work out. There's another little guy more famous than I know. I love you. I'll see you soon. I think the lesson is to...

When you get something, just assume you don't get it. Yeah. Until it airs. I don't say anything anymore. Yeah. Honestly, you could probably film it, everything. I have a couple things coming out. I'm not telling anybody until I see it. Yeah. It's like the airplane seat. Wait until that plane's moving before you do the victory lap. Yeah. Because you could not know you were cut from the movie until you watch it, right? Oh, a lot of people. Oh, yeah. That's crazy.

That's crazy. I think they can be... Look up, has there been famous cuts in the movie? I just saw a clip of the guy. Who's the guy from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

Charlie? No, not the other. Danny DeVito? Yeah, Rob. I just saw a video of him telling a story about his first big break. Invites his whole family, all his friends, to the movie theater to watch it. And he was completely cut, and they never told him. So they're all there to watch him. And he had lines, and they just cut around him. It's pretty crazy. Yeah, it's a pretty ruthless...

Kind of thing. But it's one of those that you're like, that's what, if anybody gets into that acting, you're like, you got, you got to, that's what you're signing up for.

And you just get cut. You're probably going to get told no. You're probably never going to get told no, actually. They're actually never going to say the word no to you. They'll just stop talking to you. They will stop talking to you. And you got to just accept that and go, all right, fine, whatever, move forward. And then you're going to probably get cut. I don't think I've ever been anything. I haven't been anything. It's so brutal. I did one episode of a TV show.

And I'm playing like a guy who's like an elf in it in like a mall. But I had a really funny all this improv. The director was like, oh, my God, everything you did was so funny. You added all this new layers to it. I mean, we really we weren't even thinking about all this. It was so great, everything. So I had my lines and then I improv all these things. Mm.

I mean, they were, I was getting hugged by producers and the director on the way out. You saved it. I'm so happy. I'm so excited to do a big post about it. Every single line is cut. So now I'm just an elf standing there in the corner of this mall. And I do this whole post about how, you know, when you're, you know, seeing me tonight, it was what an experience to be able to get to, you know, do improv and work with everybody and put yourself out there. Yeah.

And it's all gone. And now I'm just there kind of like, hey. Still, it was a fun time. Yeah, I tagged everybody in the cast. I was like, you know. It's just to be part of a professional thing like that.

That's so funny. If someone just saw that post, they're like, I don't know what he's talking about. That was like, yeah, like if you look at the post last night from Nick, you gave that post basically for that movie. Yeah. Yeah.

A post like that. Instagram post. I did the photos of us from the night. Incredible experience. Artistically fulfilling. You're just an extra. I mean, hey, you know. Get that pension credit. That's so funny.

But it's all about – it's fun, the experience. You have to be willing to be like, hey, this is what it is. And honestly, a lot of times it has nothing to do with what you're doing as an actor. It's just the timing. It doesn't fit for the storyline. Unless you're the star, you're there to service it. So it's like it doesn't matter how great it is. They're not going to tailor everything around you. They're not going to tailor if you're not the – I get asked when movies –

Because we're like have, you know, we're still trying to figure out our movies. And they'd be like, I was like, yeah, I think we're doing a movie. And they go, are you in it? I get asked that every time. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, okay. Have you ever been in anything? Like I wasn't sure if it was going to be good or not. Yeah, yeah. They're always like, yeah, are you going to be in it? Like, yeah, yeah, that's what we're trying to do, man. It's kind of been the goal. Yeah.

I've been in...

I was in Mark Maron's TV show. Just played myself. Maron. Maron. So that was the only thing that I did. It was just me and him doing a podcast. So it was like, but that's the only thing I really shot. And then, I mean, SNL. Yeah. And the DoorDash commercial. Like, so I've seen, I've been around, we shot a pilot. I've been, I mean, I've done stuff. You've been on sets. I've been on sets and I've done it. But it's, yeah, it's, the hard, the thing with movies that I think will be interesting is, uh,

is how long you got to wait for it to come out and see it. Because we're so used to instant...

you know, kind of gratification or maybe not gratification, either way, but your instant response. So everything we do, if we think of a joke right now, we can go figure it. I can go see if it works in 20 minutes. Yeah. And you'll know immediately. And I mean, honestly, you could even figure it out at the moment. You could call a couple of people and just say, talk to it and just get a vibe to be like, all right, all right. I think that is a good idea. So it's like, you can feel that stuff. And then when you do, when you do this,

Yeah, let me ask you. Nick, do you ever show up for something, an acting job, and you realize right away this is going to be garbage? Or is there some stuff you're like, this could go either, this could be great, I have no idea? See, I'm a terrible judge because I like everything. So I'm like, oh, it's great. I like every movie. I'm like the worst judge. And then people are like, oh my God, what were you thinking? I'm like, I thought

I thought it was good. I don't know. You get swept up in the... Don't you run a film competition? I do, but I'm not a judge. I am the founder and director of the Eastern Sales Disability Film Times. I don't judge them because I like everything. Yeah. Yeah. And that's good. But I mean, you need... You want you around because of that. But it's... Yeah, I could see... You know, it's hard to tell, man. I mean, I can go... If you honestly... I would say if you watched movies...

And let… Make someone watch them all alone. That would be interesting.

Watch alone and say, was it good or bad? Read no reviews, blind, just watch it. And you're not around another person. You're not around anybody else. I bet most things people would think are good. But aren't a lot of movies meant to be watched communally in a theater? Yeah, like comedies and stuff. Yes, the big ones. But I'm talking about in general, like what he's talking about. It's like Hallmark.

movies right so people could be like those are terrible or something but then you go watch one alone and you're like yeah I don't know man I watched the whole thing like and I watched another one because it rolled right into it it's like and they're great and they're nice and they're you know so it's I think if you break people off

People would like more stuff. It's a big mob mentality to go against all these kind of movies or whatever. But I think you have to go into it being like, this is great. Because it's pretty easy to have – to be swayed where you're like, oh, this is going to – if one person says it's bad and then you're like –

You got to think it's going to be made to be great. So you got to go. And if you were in it, you're like, I don't think I like this script. Like, I don't think it seems good. And I'm confused. That's the hard part with me is I can't tell just because I'm not doing one.

Like, all right, if I don't like something, how much can I change something? Or how much can I, in that moment, be like, oh, we got to figure it out. Like, this is not working. The story is the main—that's why the jokes don't matter if you're writing a script. It's the story.

Comics go to jokes. They want jokes. And you can write... Honestly, if you want to write a comedy, I think you could write a sad movie and then just be like, now make it funny. Yeah, that's punch it up. But it needs to have a story because otherwise it's... The jokes are easy. I mean, it's a comic, especially. But even if you weren't a comic, it's like, just go give it to a bunch of comics and be

be like i need to make it this kind of comedy or whatever but yeah i don't know that that's the part that's uh yeah seems it's gonna be hard to figure out you know did we talk about they have script doctors did we say ever say that they have like that's a there's there's guys that are their full-time their job is they will get a movie they and they've done it i think with marvel movies and with

A bunch of movies where a movie will be bad, and then they pay this guy, these high-end writers. And that's a lot of their work, because they get just some crazy amount of money. And then they come in and just— Triage on it. Oh, yeah. And just fix the whole—and have to fix the whole thing. Yeah. And that happens almost every movie, I think. I believe. Yeah.

It just ends up, you kind of get it. You need other eyes on it because the person that is riding it has been doing it forever. And then so, especially those, I think, some of the big ones. But yeah, it's pretty interesting. Yeah. All right. All right.

It's kind of a short one. Yeah. That's okay. At least it's fun, though. Yeah. But just real quick, as far as me and you, I remember the first time I met you. I started comedy in 2007, January 2007. I think at the end of that year, you came home for Thanksgiving and Christmas like you do. A lot of people thought we met here in Nashville. We didn't. I mean, you were in New York. Yeah. But you would come home a lot. And...

I'd heard of you because NashvilleStandUp.com had listed all the comics. I was like, Bargatze? I wonder if he's related to Ron Bargatze. Yeah. Who I grew up listening to on the radio. Who was that? My cousin was the color commentator for Vanderbilt Basketball for years. Yeah. He always has all these hidden ticket links to Vanderbilt.

Yeah. That we find out about. Yeah, why don't you tell yours to Queen Latifah? This is what he was going to tell her. I'm waiting in line. Can you tell her? Oh, man. This is so. This is what he wanted to tell her. It's the party's loud. Yeah. No one can really hear. It's not a like get into a big conversation kind of thing. It's not.

A guy goes up to her. She has no idea who he is. He's already been up to her. She initiated. She said hello to me to start. And then I wanted to go back. So my uncle just died.

My uncle is from Senegal. This is brutal already. My uncle's from Senegal, who my aunt married, and my uncle died. And years ago, he was in a music video of hers. And as a kid, that was really crazy to be like, he was in this Queen Latifah music video, and I remember seeing it. So mind you, I just had everything we should have had in a conversation. I'm standing next to her on this –

Vanity Fair party and she's in a gown and I'm about to tell her that, you know, my uncle just died. Yeah, she sang a song. She sang a song on the Oscars, I think. Yeah, she did. Yeah, yeah. She did a big song, a big thing, a whole, yeah. And I, you know, I just, first of all, I wasn't allowed to get back in. They were like, you already talked. But in my head, I was like, let's not bring this up. Let's not go, yeah.

I mean, that was 30 years ago, maybe? Yeah. You got to bring up... 35, I would say. Yeah. He did bring up... To Conan, he was in something a long time ago. But Conan did remember it. This is a great... So with Conan... Conan was in a White Stripes music video.

And this is a very popular song. It was a huge music video. And I play a couple different characters in the music video, including a smaller version of Conan O'Brien. And I actually announce the White Stripes in the music video. I say, the White Stripes, and you could hear my voice. I have a Conan face on.

But it's Michelle Gondry who did Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, directed it. And it's a big music video. And there's one moment where we go from Conan is on one side of the screen to he'll walk away and the other side is me.

And I'm... Watch. There's a little door here. And now it's me. And I'll say the White Stripes. And in the doorway... So, the way... This is all... The whole music video is one continuous shot. Except when it goes from me and him. So, me and Conan are stuck in that little doorway for about six hours in a side like this. Oh, my gosh. So...

For that one shot we just saw? For that one shot we just saw. And I keep repeating him, doing him. And at the end of it, you'll see me. I play like a crazy fan. And there's another shot of me like, you know, I'm like running in a car as like I'm chasing a car or something. Is Conan actually there? Conan's there the whole time. That's Conan. That is Conan. Oh, he doesn't have like something on his head? And then watch. And then that's me.

So that's me and I say, the white stripes. And you can hear me in this music video that was the number one music video for like 10 years. It still plays on MTV. I want to hear you say it. Yeah, hang on a sec. Right here.

You can hear it. You can hear it. I'm in it. I'm in it. That's me saying the White Stripes. But in the moment, he knows I'm a comedian. The White Stripes know I'm a comedian. They're supposed to come out to see us. We're doing a show that night, and I'm telling them that Broadway Comedy Club, we're upstairs. But Conan knows I'm a comedian. He's the nicest guy, the greatest guy in the world. Yeah. And so we're stuck together for six hours. He knows I'm a comedian. Yeah.

And I'm like, you know, trying to now after a while just be funny. I'm like, what a fun time in here, huh? And he goes, you know, now he doesn't get that I'm trying to be funny. Like, oh, this is crazy that we're in here for six hours like this. And he's like, yeah, this is a fun time. You know, it says it like that. Like he's trying, but like in a delayed thing, like he's trying to kind of be like, I don't want you to, you know, like just feeling that this is exciting for me because it was exciting. He just gets everything. But he didn't get that I was like,

you know, in on the joke that like, yeah, we are sweat. Like he's literally sweating on me. Yeah. It's like a hundred degrees inside that little closet that we're in. But it was such a, I mean, you talk about an exciting day. I'm 23 years old and I'm in a closet with Conan O'Brien for six hours. Which you go from this to that Kate Hudson to Boardwalk. I mean, you're like, I'm,

on a rocket. And then it all falls downhill. Then Peter Dinklage comes in and smashes it all. I still get residual checks for that movie that was not in. That's great. That's nice. All right. Yeah, this is a quick one. And we'll continue this subject. Yeah, we'll do the friendship one with Dusty's here. Yeah, when Dusty's here and you're here and we're all here. Real quick, picture shows. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I got Vegas. Yeah. In a couple weeks. Yeah. At the Wynn. And this Friday, I'm in Bozeman, Montana at Last Best Comedy Club. Two shows. March 12th. Next Wednesday, I'm here. The Lab of Zany's for Brian Bates and Friends. Nate's doing it. Aaron's doing it. Everybody come out to Wynn.

Next Wednesday. I like to tell people you're coming, and then once it sells out, then I say, sorry, you couldn't make it. By then, I've already got the tickets. Nate bailed on us. Yeah, make you the bad guy. Throw him under the bus. Cha-ching. And then March 14th, 15th, I'm in Beverly, Massachusetts at Off Cabot Comedy Club. Nice. So the last Sunday of every month, I have a show at Flappers Comedy Club.

So come on out. And I am very excited. The 12th Annual Easter Sales Disability Film Challenge registration is open. It's happening April 1st to April 6th. Make a film. Have somebody with a disability in front of or behind the camera. The films don't have to be about disability. This year, the genre is thriller and suspense. Our award ceremony is going to be May 8th at Sony Pictures. No.

presented last year. Yeah. So, yeah, you got some good people lined up this year. We do. So, uh, yeah. And Brody. Yeah. That's what we, we actually should get Sean Baker, Adrian Brody, Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah. He was trying to approach me to be on. Yeah. It would have been the time to hit him up. Oh yeah. I think you had left me and you,

and you would have hung out with Liam. It was that much of a greeting that you could have been like, all right, dude, I'll just meet you later on. Yeah. Go to disabilityfilmchallenge.com to learn about it. Aaron Weber here. This weekend, Kansas City, Missouri at the Kansas City Funny Bone. I've never done my own show in Kansas City before, so I'm excited. That's Friday, Saturday, and then later this month, Hartford, Connecticut, Boston, Massachusetts, Chicago, Illinois. Come on out.

And watch the special. 250,000 views right now. It's getting a lot of press. Check it out. I was on Access Hollywood the other night. Mario Lopez threw to it. Yeah. It's been very cool. So thank you guys. And Nick Thune special this Friday. That's right. All right. We love you. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.