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254: #254 Commercials

2025/5/28
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The Nateland Podcast

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People
A
Aaron Thoom
A
Aaron Walsh
B
Bob's Automotive
B
Brayden Meadows
B
Brian Bates
B
Brian Paris
D
Dottie Mac
D
Dusty Slay
L
Letty Wadford
M
Moe Afram
R
Richard Phillips
S
Scott Knopfel
Topics
Brian Bates: 我认为,如果Dusty这周末不幸去世,我们仍然应该播放这集播客。我们可以简单地宣布Dusty在天堂,并呼吁大家停止食用猪肉。虽然我们会想念他,但我们仍然会录制没有他的新节目,并保留他的广告时段以维持收入,但我们永远不会承认他不在。为了尊重他,我们会在节目开始时简单提及Nate正在拍摄电影。 Dusty Slay: 我希望你们能播出我做的介绍,因为我觉得做得很好。当然,我不希望自己真的去世,因为我需要留下来保护我的孩子们。我最近经历了一次非常惊险的飞行,这让我开始思考死亡。如果我真的去世了,我希望我的播客能被播出。

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Chapters
The hosts discuss a hypothetical scenario: what would happen to their podcast if one of them were to die during Memorial Day weekend. They debate whether to continue the show as if nothing happened, or to address the situation. They decide to mention the absence, but keep the ad reads.
  • Discussion of podcast continuity in case of a host's death
  • Decision to address the absence but maintain ad reads

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

Okay, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Nate Land Podcast. Here we are. Hello, folks, and hey, bear. There it is. I'm Dusty Slay, and I'm here, as always, with my wonderful co-host, Brian Bates. All right. And Aaron Walsh.

Webber! Where in the world is Nate Bargettsy? This is a Nateland podcast that Nate is a part of. Oftentimes, it is not just a fan podcast devoted to Nate. It's

We do do a podcast with Nate, and he's not here today, and that's okay. Filming his movie. As someone in the comments once pointed out, I say this a lot, but we're all professional comedians. Yeah, yeah. A guy said that in a comment. He said, if I had a dime for every time Dusty said...

We're professional comedians. He said, I'd have, you know, 80 cents and I go, I commented, I go, send me your Venmo. He never sent it. Sounds like a cash app guy. Yeah.

But we're here and we're pumped about it. Recording a little early. It's Memorial Day week. That's right. Recording a little early. So who knows what happens? Yeah. That's true. So I won't be able to comment on whether Vermont was fun because I'm sure it was. But, you know, I'm not gone yet. So...

But, you know, should I jump into this news here? Do you think if you died this weekend we would play this episode? I would hope so. You want us to just play it? If you die in Vermont, I hate to get morbid right off the top, but it's one of those days. Let's say you die horrible. Let's say you go to the world's tallest filing cabinet and it falls on you. Yep.

What if Champ comes out of the water and eats you? Yeah, so what do we do for this week? Just play this podcast, act like nothing happened, or do you want us to do like... You play it, and you say, Dusty's in heaven, and stop eating pork. That's your one message to the world? I think we would record another one without Dusty. We'd keep his ad reads. Okay. Of course, we need the money. Yeah, but we would do it without him, but we would never even acknowledge he wasn't here.

I would feel like you would have to. We would read Nate's date. You'd have to do a little something at the beginning. You would have to go. We'd say, Nate's shooting a movie, guys. That was a good intro that I did, so I do want you to air it. Okay. I think we would say, Dusty's obviously not here. We'll get to that in a minute. But first, Nate's shooting the breadwinner right now. His big dumb eyes tours in the city. Yeah, we got Dusty shooting the dead winner because he died this weekend, and we're going to miss him.

And then we'd move on. Yeah. Dusty's on this big demise tour. Demise. Yeah, because he's dead. Demise, yeah. I hope you don't die, man. Well, I hope not, too. Yeah.

You don't want to go to heaven? No, I do, but I have kids now, you know, so I got to stay and protect my kids. Right. Well, I had a – Before kids, I could have gone at any time. I had a super turbulent flight last weekend. Oh, yeah? The flight where you start to, like, look around, and everybody's looking around, like, at what point do you start to go? What's happening? Yeah, yeah. It was that bad.

It was so bad, everybody applauded when they landed, and I wasn't that upset about it because it was like it did feel good to land. What were the flight attendants doing? They couldn't get up the whole flight. They never got the clearance to get up. Could you see them? I couldn't see them from where I was sitting. I did look for them. They looked fine. They were playing it cool. But I talked to – I might have mentioned this on the podcast. I talked to a Southwest flight attendant, and she said about twice a year –

They're legitimately scared on a flight, and they still try to play it cool because they know people are looking at them. Are you in an exit row on this one? Oh, yeah. Are you like, well, let me go ahead and get that pamphlet out? Do you start stretching? Yeah. You start looking at the door. Can I do this? I said, yeah, but do I even know how this works? Everybody's looking at you like, oh, this is the guy? Do I have to open it? The dude I had, me and Lee Kimbrell sitting –

aisle window in the exit row. And you know, it's getting towards the end of the flight and you're like, I might have an empty seat here. And you start celebrating a little early. I always make that mistake. Dude walks on late, big fat dude. He comes, somebody stood right here. I was like, golly, dude, I had to get up, let him sit down. It's like this guy had never been on a plane before. Kept putting the table down. Flight attendant had to be like, you gotta leave it up.

taken off, pulls it down. He's watching Gladiator 2 on his phone vertically. He never rotates his phone. He's watching it vertically like this the whole time. Of course, no headphones had to be told. The guy did like a million things wrong. And then I watched this guy get off the plane and he's walking, flow of traffic just stops in the middle of it. This guy lives in his own world. It was just...

The guy did. It was the last guy you wanted in the middle seat. Yeah. That's how it goes, too, because if you're on Southwest and you're trying to protect that middle seat, all the good people are going to pass you by. I know. And then you're going to get the bad guy that's got nowhere else to go. I know. Smelled bad, too. Yeah. It's one of those, man, it was just watching a movie vertically.

I don't know why that annoyed me more than anything. You wanted to say something so bad. I go, hey, buddy, if you scroll down, you can unlock and then rotate your phone through the magic of technology. Yeah. You're going to watch it. You're like, it's hard for me to watch on your phone when you're doing it like that.

I watched a movie yesterday on the flight on my phone, and I saw the guy next to me reading a book. And a couple of times I could see his head kind of look over like. Yeah, of course he's going to. That's way more interesting. Yeah. I watched 21 Jump Street yesterday. So funny. It's so funny. Both of them are. 22 Jump Street is too. Yeah, it's very funny. Yeah, it was really great. I watched A Complete Unknown, the Bob Dylan movie. Yeah, how was it? Yeah, it was great. It was very, you know, Bob Dylan seems like a jerk. Yeah, yeah.

But very interesting. Timothee Chalamet was good in that one. Yep. I like real old Bob Dylan. Bob Dylan hasn't done anything that I like in the last 40 years. Well, this was about a four-year span from 61 to 65. Okay. I mean, that stuff is incredible. Yeah. Michael Jordan hasn't done a lot of good basketball in the last 20 years either. No, but Bob Dylan's still making albums. I know. He's still doing concerts, and it's brutal. Yeah.

But everybody says that – I've never went to see Bob Dylan, but everybody that's gone said he just does new stuff. He won't do the classics. Yeah, none of the hits. And in the movie, that's the issue. Oh, really? That's part of the issue is he won't do the hits. Well, he has a Nobel Prize for literature. That he didn't attend. Did he really? He skipped it. I kind of like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway. I like, I mean, old Bob Dylan, though. I had the Essential Bob Dylan. And disc one of the Essential Bob Dylan is really great. Yeah. Those are all his greatest hits. Yeah. It's really great. Disc two has got some hits, too. I love when somebody goes, what's your favorite album for somebody? Well, the Greatest Hits album is really awesome. Yeah. It's just nonstop hits. But he has Blood on the Tracks is a really good album altogether. Yeah.

So just in case you're looking for a full Bob Dylan album. Okay. Yeah. Dusty, you want to give some Nate Land news? Yeah, he has a song. I will do it. He has a song called Idiot Wind on that song, on the album, Blood on the Tracks. And in the song, I Only Want to Be With You. Somebody's got it in for me.

The planet's stories and the praise. Yeah. How'd that sound? That sounded just like it. He has a whole line out of that song, a whole chunk that is just directly in the I Only Want to Be With You song by Hootie and the Bullfish. Really? Yeah.

So he stole it from them? I only want it to be with you. Well, he did a unique thing where I think he references Bob Dylan. So I think it's like I shot a man in Italy and something like that. Just to watch him die? Yeah. Okay. Nate News. The breadwinner. Nate's first feature film is filming this week. Big Dumb Eyes Tour. Coming to a city near you. Check out nateland.com.

And then in the Nateland world, we have Greg Warren's new special. Greg Warren, one of our favorite comics, favorite guest. My favorite. His new special, The Champ. The Champ. Is out now, so go watch it. We love Greg. Nateland has a handful of great specials from Aaron Weber. Yes, sir. Nick Thune and Steven Rogers. Plus...

The Nateland Podcast Network. Don't forget to catch The Consumers every Tuesday. Let's see it. Do you know this one? Don't make me come back. Oh! Every Thursday. It was written out DMMCBT, and I don't think, yeah. And the new website is live called nateland.com. Yes, sir. So there's a new website just devoted to the Nateland podcast.

June 22nd, 23rd, 24th. You skipped something there. That arrow. Do you have an arrow pointing down from the podcast? No, you got all kinds of info on there that we don't have. Just me? You want to chime in? All right. Breaking news. Sorry, Dusty. Yeah, okay. Thank you. Breaking news. Let's hear it. I apologize. I didn't skip anything. Breaking news.

Breaking news. So we've got the consumers get don't make me come back there. Of course, Nate land and launched last week. Correct opinions with Trey Kennedy. All right. I like to think I helped with that because I did his podcast and we talked about this. I don't know if I did it. I got him on this podcast. So we both helped a little bit. We'll double assist. I like Trey Kennedy. Way to make it about yourself. Very nice guy. Yeah. Trey's great. Correct opinions every Wednesday.

on the Nate Land Network. Really? Same day as us. Yep. Going head to head now. There's other days in the week. I wonder why they're doing that. He's always been on Wednesdays. There's only so many, though. But there's two more here that we don't have a day. Friday and Monday. Well, maybe he honors the Sabbath. Dusty, maybe you should try. Well, that's Saturday. Well, that's one of the days. Yeah, yeah. Not one that I named. But...

June 22nd, 23rd, and 24th, we're back with Season 3 of Nateland Presents The Showcase. Yes, sir. Tickets are on sale if you want to be part of this taping right here in the great city of Nashville, Tennessee. There it is. Also, Nateland merch drop now available at natbargatze.com. Just click shop at the top. Check out the site for new drops. And if you're coming out to a show, come find us.

at the merch table. Not you. I'm not going to be there. You're working Nate's merch table? Yeah. This guy just sounds like a big fan. Hard up for cash, dude. He's going to be selling t-shirts at Nate's show. Our favorite comic. The comic we've devoted this podcast to. That's right. We started a... This is my house. I built a little shrine to Nate in here. Just a big fan of what he does. You know what I mean? Be cool to meet him.

All right, so let's get on into the comments. I say we jump right in. Let's get into it. Comments come from Twitter. Well, let me ask you this. Where were y'all this weekend? Well... I was off.

I was off. Well, I was in Vermont. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you thankfully survived. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Okay. All right. Let's talk about something we all deal with, bad hair days. Everybody except Brian. But what if those bad hair days could become a thing of the past? With the iRestore Elite, you can say goodbye to thinning hair. And hello, folks.

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You know what I mean? That's what I would be worried about. I got to show them that I'm bald. Yeah. They'll believe you. Give yourself the gift of hair confidence this year for a limited time only. Our listeners are getting a huge discount on the iRestore Elite when you use code Nate at iRestore.com. Head over to iRestore.com. Use code Nate for our show's exclusive discounts on the iRestore Elite. Please support our show. Tell them we sent you. Hair loss is frustrating, but you don't have to fight it alone. Thanks to iRestore.

Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast Reviews, and nateland at natepragazzi.com. And nateland.com, I imagine. All right. How about that? Okay. Moe Afram. You think that's it? Afram. This guy's written in before, I think. If he had an E at the end, it would be Moe Afram. Moe Afram Cabin. Yeah. You know?

With all the playful ribbing and loads of genuine laughter, you all embody the true meaning of friendship. It's a big reason I've been listening to you all since day one. Really makes me appreciate the great times with good friends talking about nothing while enjoying the simple joy of being together. Thanks for being a bright light and a source of happiness. Well, you didn't have to read it sarcastically. I thought that was very well written.

You do. Anytime something's remotely sincere, you have a way of making it sound super sarcastic. Thanks for being a bright light. Happiness ends in an ellipsis. Happiness, dot, dot, dot. It's like he had more to say. No, I appreciate Mo here, but what I was trying to do was read it with some, like you could put soft classical music behind that read, and that would come off as very genuine. Okay, let's do it.

Hold on. I'm going to find it real quick. Okay. I'm going to find some royalty-free music. Sure, it's royalty-free. Yeah, I'm going to find some royalty-free music. I want to see how this sounds because I want to see how it sounded in your head. I put my own podcast on YouTube, and I have some royalty-free, and I got flagged. Now, I got it fixed, but it got flagged. Copyright-free. There's public domain music right here. Okay. Here you go. With all the playful ribbing and loads of genuine laughter...

You all embody the true meaning of friendship. It's a big reason I've been listening to you all since day one. Really makes me appreciate the great times with good friends talking about nothing while enjoying the simple joy of being together. Thanks for being a bright light and source of happiness. I liked it. That was good. That was good. Music changes everything. It sure does, man. Scott Knopfel.

Every time I fly and I fly often, I get bad anxiety. Do any of you guys get anxiety when you travel, even though you guys travel all the time? What do you do to control it? By the way, I love flying. So it's not the flying part that I get anxious about. Well, what are you anxious about?

I don't understand. I feel like he just negated everything he said. I can't talk about necessarily what causes my anxiousness sometimes when I'm getting on a plane, but...

This is what I tell myself. I go, you got to get it together. I say, you about to get on this plane? You like to get anxious, don't you? I said, there ain't going to be no escape for you. You better get it together. That's right. Well, I think Scott, you're right, Aaron. I think Scott's living a lie here. Yeah. He gets bad anxiety every time he flies, but he's like, it's not the flying. Well, it sounds like it is. Every time I fly, I get bad anxiety. I love flying. So it's not the flying part that I'm anxious about. Well, then what are you, I feel like you're missing something. You're trafficking something, I think.

He's nervous about what he's got in his bag. You've got contraband on you, Scott. And I get it. But I do think that that method of just telling yourself, get it together. Can I tell you something? I got my tags renewed. I made it 13 months. Got my tags renewed on my car. Had to buy both years, the year that I did. And I had to do both of them. And for the first time in over a year, I'm completely illegal.

My license is renewed. My tags are up to date. I missed the rush. Did you get that real ID? I got the real ID. I don't have real ID. I've been traveling with my passport now. I tried to make an appointment, and the earliest appointment I could find is August 11th. You don't got to do an appointment. Go to the Lebanon DMV. Go outside of Nashville and just show up. Put your name on the list. You can go to your car. They text you when you're ready. It takes two seconds.

Don't bother with the appointment. You got to get outside of Davidson County. Somehow I'm against the real ID, but I'm also like, I'm not in for the fight because we already lost. Yeah. You're just giving into the man, Dusty. Yeah. Well, we've already lost. Like people, I watch all these people that are refusing to take, have the picture taken of them. And I used to, you know, I pre-check. So I go through and I don't have to go through the weird x-ray machine, which I do hate because

And then you can refuse that. If you get randomly selected, you can refuse. But they really make it hard to refuse. So I just have given in. I'm like, we already lost. Who am I fighting this battle for?

you know if i flew once a year maybe but i'm flying every weekend sometimes multiple times a weekend right right you still do clear i still have clear but i most places it's not worth it i mean nashville it's you know the only thing clear gets you is skipping around that long corral they make you walk through yeah but i'm i grew there and

I was in line the other day. It was my turn to go up, and then somebody stops me like, hang on. And I thought, oh, it's somebody important. It's a pilot or something. It's just a guy with clear. Some dork in a vest escorting this person. Well, that's the thing. You pay a little extra money, you get a little extra perk. I'm not into it, though. I'll be honest with you. I'm not into it. I was walking past him. Guy goes, you want to sign up for clear? I go, no.

He goes, may I ask why not? I go, I object to your whole business. And he was like, okay. He's like, I'm not trying to get into it with this guy. He's like, do you know Dusty Slug?

Okay, Richard Phillips. I met Aaron briefly at the Atlanta airport. I listened to the podcast, but didn't realize how much weight he has lost. He looks downright skinny. As expected, one of the nicest guys. Huge fan. How old is this comment? This came from a while ago. This was front weight. Oh, 1994. I thought it was three.

That's very nice of Richard. No, that was from like two weeks ago. That's nice to say. Aaron is skinny. People say, oh, you're being mean with the fat joke. No, he's not fat. No, well, thank you. Technically morbidly obese would be the technical term. But that's very nice of you to say. Thank you, Richard. It's good to meet you. That is very nice. People are very nice at the airport. People come and say hi at the airport. It's nice. Brayden Meadows. I got married last Saturday. I took my honeymoon home.

In Panama City Beach. There you go. Getting it started right. On our way to our condo, we passed the Fontaine Bleu. I had to explain to my wife why I started laughing. On our way back home, we listened to the new episode, and Dusty quickly became her favorite. What? Thanks for the laughs.

Well, Brayden sounds like you got a good woman. Brayden sounds like she makes some bad decisions. Sounds like you got a good woman. You and Dusty. You got yourself a good woman, and the Fontainebleau will always be a special place for me. Yeah, that's cool, man. That's where my dad met his wife.

Which one? This current one. Okay. I've been making a lot of jokes about my dad recently, and I feel like I went out to L.A. and I did that stand up on the spot. And I did a couple. I think I already talked about this, but I did a couple of jokes, and then they clipped those up, and I'm like, ah. Has your dad seen them yet? Yeah, probably. My dad watches all of them. You haven't talked to him about it? No. Okay. Yeah.

But, you know, it is what it is. I got more jokes about my dad than I'm doing. And I'm doing a show in Auburn, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I got the same – I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I got the same problem, though. I got a show coming up my mom's coming to. Wow. And I'm like, I got some jokes that –

I think might embarrass her a little bit. Yeah. But they're some of my best jokes, so it's either her or me. Yeah. And then you just remind her. You go, remember that auction that we did? Yeah. I was pretty embarrassed then. Yeah. Yeah. And I still sit with you. Mm-hmm. Bob's Automotive.

Looking forward to bifocal baits. When he does bring them, I want to see Nate put them on and roast baits for them. After the roasting, Nate will say they actually help his vision, though. Bob's own load is very funny. A few weeks ago, we were talking about names for comets, and...

I said, you know, as long as it's a real person, I'm not going to do like Bob's Automotive. And you were like, oh, I'd love to hear from Bob's Automotive. And this person changed their handle. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. This comment is confusing because everybody calls you a B something. So he's called you bifocal baits. But then he gets into it as if you really are bringing bifocals.

Well, I said last, I guess it would be two weeks ago now on the podcast, I'm getting glasses and you guys kind of glossed over it. But I just got an email, I mean a text from my optometrist office saying their glasses are in. Come by. What kind of frames are you looking for? I've already picked them out. What do they look like? How would you describe them?

For the listeners. Thin? Yeah. I don't know how to describe it. Thin glasses. The frame of it is thin? No, I think it's great. Because I'm very insecure about it. So when you go thin glasses, that makes me think I messed up. No, I was just confused at what you meant. The frames, like they're not big, thick. Are they like red? What color do you? They're like black. Black?

Brown. Do you know the colors? Are you colorblind? Is this what the glasses are going to help? The colors? I think they're like gray. Break out a color wheel. Gray, okay. Okay. What'd you say? Break out a color wheel.

That's exciting. You're going to be wearing those on the pod. Maybe. Maybe. We'll see. Next week. Maybe. Glasses are kind of my thing, though. Oh. Yeah. I should have known you wouldn't want me to get them. I'm growing my hair out. Only Dusty can wear glasses. Yeah. We're all just going to become the same person. Singularity. Aaron Thoom.

For my 30th birthday, my girlfriend surprised me with tickets for us and my parents to Nate and Peoria. What an incredible birthday surprise that my favorite member of the band, Aaron Weber, was on the show as well. That's what I'm talking about. The next day, my parents watched Signature Dish because they enjoyed Aaron's set so much.

Thank you, Nate Land, for making my dreaded birthday a lot better. Well, thank you, Aaron. Aaron's got to stick together. Why was this a dreaded birthday? 30th. He's turning 30. But his 30, 30's not a scary one, is it? I think he just, he liked his 20s. Now, my life got better, exponentially better in my 30s. Me too. Than my 20s. Yeah, I think you're going to like your 30s. And my 20s were a blast. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, there's a difference. We've talked about it before. There's a difference between happiness and fun. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're happier now. Because I'm much happier, but I don't have a lot of fun. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's the difference. You get your fun out of the way in the 20s, and then 30, you find meaning. I wonder if he likes you the best because he's close to your age. Probably. Because apart from that, I just don't understand why you would be his favorite. It doesn't make sense. We have the same name. Yeah, I guess. Aaron Thumb. Hmm.

Is it Thumb, you think? Nah, I think Thumb too, but Thumb is fun. Aaron's Thumb. Aaron Thumb. What if he has bad thumbs? Yeah, that'd be tough. Dottie Mac went to the Comedy Catch in Chattanooga this weekend, and the night started with a 50-year anniversary video featuring Aaron and Dusty. How about that? Well, first of all, I think it's a 40-year anniversary, but I thought I was in it. People have told me they've seen me in it, but maybe Dottie...

Just skipped over me. Dottie, I think you probably went to see Steve Byrne and my friend Vince Fabra featured for Steve Byrne. I think you're right. I think she added that part. Yeah. And that was very exciting. Steve is great. Vince is great. I don't know who the host was, but I'm sure they were great. Yep. Maybe it was Eric Lonez. Might be. Eric Lonez. Yeah, I hope it was Eric Lonez. Eric's my friend. Eric. I like Eric.

Letty Wadford. Hold on, can I just, yeah, get it going. Around 2006, my mom and I took a trip to Charleston. We went to a wonderful restaurant and had a delightful waiter who was so nice and kind to my mom and me. He brought boiled peanuts as an appetizer to the table. As a fan of boiled peanuts, I thought that was the best. I remember the food was good, but the service was amazing.

I'd like to think that we were at Hyman's and Dusty was our waiter. Wow. Well, Letty, I appreciate that because I don't know where you went. Were you there in 2006? I was there in 2006 and I was working at Hyman's. Okay. And I was a good server. Did you serve bold peanuts? Bold peanuts to every table. Okay. And as far as I know, I think we're the only restaurant in Charleston that was doing that.

I looked much different in 2006 and it's likely that I was hung over, but I was still very good at my job. Right. Right. Well, let me write us back and see if, did he eat food off your plate or off your boyfriend's plate? If you, if you're attractive. Oh, he shoes with her mom. Okay. Yeah. So, so I probably ate off both after they were done with it. Yeah. Yeah.

One time, we used to serve sesame-seared tuna, and it had a lot of sesame seeds on it. And that tuna would often be overcooked because you want tuna very rare. But it would come up, and then they would put it under the heat lamp, and if the food runner didn't get it fast enough, the lamp would actually continue to cook it. So this guy ordered this tuna, and he said, this is way overcooked.

So I go, I'll get you another one. Don't worry about it. And then I take his tuna that's not eaten and I take it to the back and I start eating it. Yeah. I just tear it up. And then the new tuna arrives pretty quickly and I go out and I just check. I go, how does it look? He goes, looks great. I'm smiling. I'm happy. I go back, look in the mirror and I have sesame seeds all in my teeth. Yeah.

So we both got fed and I told him I appreciated it. Yeah, that's funny. Thank you, Letty. That was a very nice email. And I bet I was your server. You know, now they have my name on the table. Yeah, we talked about that. That's really cool. Brian Paris. Paris. Paris. Brian Paris? No, it's Paris. It's two R's. My bad.

As professionals, do you have a higher bar when listening to other comedians, or can you appreciate it all? I'll let you guys take this, because I hate it all. I think we're probably much more, I don't want to say judgmental, but...

Yeah. I mean, we probably graded a little bit because we've heard so many sets. If someone has a hacky premise, the average person who goes to a comedy club once a year is not going to know that, but we're going to know that. Right. There are certain jokes that people can do that work for almost any audience, and then it crushes. But when we're watching it, we go, is that?

I know we've seen that joke a million times. Yeah, yeah. But you can't, you almost can't blame the person. No, you can't. Because it's getting a laugh. It's working. So the audience is happy. So that's really all that matters. Stuff is hacked for a reason. Yeah. You know, it works. But I also think I go through phases where I'm way less snobby about it. It's like respect the kill. It's one of my favorite sayings. If somebody's just crushing, you're like, look, artistically, you can pick this apart all day. Yeah. But somebody's just murdering, you're like, all right, respect. Yeah.

You know, I here here here's an example. I worked with a comic magician named Eric Eaton. Right. And I had interacted with Eric a little bit, but I had never seen a set. And we talked a little bit on online. I'm just I always say to myself that I'm not and I know Nate's dad does it, too. But I always say I'm not into this comedy magic stuff.

But he let me do a guest spot on his show. And then I sat and I watched his whole show, which I don't think I've watched a comedian's whole set in years. And I loved it. It was so funny. And he was being fun with the crowd. Spells? No, no. It was all kind of just fun magic, right? And he was roasting the crowd a little bit at times, but it was all nice, all in good fun. And I really liked it. So it just...

I don't know. It just got to hit me the right way. There are comics I like that Aaron doesn't like. But it doesn't mean that they're not funny. It is... Comedy is subjective. Every now and then...

It's like you start to appreciate things that are just different. You know, I saw Orny Adams in Austin. I watched like 30 minutes of his show. Yeah. It was so much fun. Yeah, he's very funny. Because he's just so different from anybody else I've ever seen. So, yeah, it's like anything. You see a lot of stuff, you just, yeah, you start to. Who's some comics that you don't care for?

At this table or just in general? Either. I was joking. I know. I was trying to think if I could come up with a funny answer. Myself sometimes. When people get into politics or social commentary, I usually tune out pretty quick. I'm just not into it. I don't want to hear another take. I'm not into it. People can make a light joke and it'd be fun, but...

I don't want, if people are like, if they, I've seen comics go, they do some political joke and it bombs and they go, too real for you, huh? And it's just like, nah, nah, just not funny enough. Yeah. Cindy Tully. I have a cousin named Cindy Tally. Could be her. Cindy Tully.

Can I just say that it bothers me how Aaron can continuously pat his stack of papers on the tabletop multiple times, but the edges of the papers never go into order and line up together? How is that even possible? I don't know, Cindy, because I can do it. And look at that. Crisp. You don't even know this is multiple sheets of paper here. Okay.

I don't know. Cindy, it bothers us all. We talk about it, and he's just always like the Jon Stewart in here stacking his papers. Cindy, I think you might just listen to this. You know what I mean? We tell a lot of people, go to YouTube. You're missing out on a lot. But I think you're...

I think you should just listen on, you know, just audio. Oh, you just mean listen to the podcast? Yeah, just listen. Listen to what you're saying, Cindy. Stop watching it. Because then she won't know that you never get them straight. She'll still hear you stacking them. But she'll assume at that point that you're getting them right. I also disagree. I just got them straight just now. I can do it. Yeah. I have dexterity in my hands. In your face, Cindy. Cindy, I got to agree with you, though. Yes. Why?

It's the first time he's ever got them straight. Yeah, I think so. That's often what I think. He stacks it sometimes when he just has one piece of paper. The Fancy Farm Girl. I like that. Who are these people out here dogging on Dusty?

That's what I'm saying. I feel like every Wednesday I tell my husband, Dusty brought up that thing I was telling you about the other day. Thanks, Dusty, for representing the people with questions out here. Listen, Fancy Farm Girl, I get what you're saying. I mean...

Brian and Aaron, sometimes I don't even think they open their apps to see what's going on in the world. And I present them with a new idea and they just stuff it down. They just... I'm like, I'm just trying to...

Open up the world to everybody. And they just... Close it down for yourself. And they shut it down. It's our college education that they train us to shut alternative opinions down. They've indoctrinated you, and you guys are clouded by it for life now. I agree, man. I appreciate it. Thanks for telling your husband these things. Because I'm out here... Listen, I spend...

too much time on social media. And I like to comment and I like to share. I'm a meme account half the time. I love to share little, you know, I see funny things, I put them in my story. Yeah. I mean, I'm like, it made me laugh and I want it to make you laugh. Well, sometimes you'll share something and it makes me laugh. And I think part of the reason I'm laughing is because it made you laugh. Yeah. I can just think about it. You shared one, this has been a while, but I thought it was so funny. It was just a montage of

honking the horn right when someone's about to do their golf swing. Yeah. And then they just lay in the day. We get so mad. Yeah. And you shared that and I laughed and I play golf. But the thing I liked about that one is that

I agree with the men being honked at where I'm like, I'm mad about it too. I don't even golf, but I'm like, that's annoying to me. And I just love how mad those guys got. Oh, I figured you were with the honkers. No, no. I, the honk, I, I like, I like a little bit of both. Yeah. Um,

But, you know, the one that I shared that I find the most funny is there's a lady who was in like some local, what do you call it? Like a town hall kind of local town hall. And they were like, we're here for 50th Street. She's like, I live on 60th Street. And he's like, okay, well, this is about 50th Street. She goes, okay.

I hate Facebook. I don't like social media. I can't find a job. Does that make any sense to you? And the guy's like, man, this is about stuff here on 50th Street. And I just love it. We're all struggling out here. That lady's like, I'm about to get hurt. This is the video. I've been watching nonstop. Watch this. These two ladies. Yeah.

Man, even among twins. This is good stuff, dude. Wouldn't you like to see these two ladies at a gas station? Yeah. I don't appreciate the snacks they have, but I like everything else going on. I mean, they're identical.

I don't know what those... I think they're twins. I don't know what... I know they're twins, but I'm saying even for twins, they are... Eating it right there in the store. Yeah, why not? They grab the whole box. You see those Australian lady twins that are like completing each other's... They like witnessed a crime. Yeah. And they're like... Completing each other. And they're telling the story and they're like echoing each other. Yeah. As they're telling it. I don't like that. It's pretty wild. Well, I guess it corroborates. If they were telling totally different stories... Yeah.

Aaron Weber here. I got to say, I am so excited to see Ben Rector, one of my favorite musicians, on the Richest Man in the World Tour coming up. He's playing the Pinnacle here in Nashville. Great musician. You'd love his lyrics.

It's not quite really what you listen to, but I think you'd like it. I like to get out. I like to branch out. Great musician, great songwriter. And I want to give the sponsor of today's video, SeatGeek, a huge shout out. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more. Right now, you can get tickets to the Lumineers, The Weeknd, Gracie Abrams,

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That's 10% off tickets with promo code Nate10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app, have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, SeatGeek. All right. Our last comment from the comment section portion of the podcast.

Tim Cochran. Nice. Breaking Bates needs to start his own podcast where he just sings or nose whistles old commercial jingles, kid songs, and classic TV theme songs. He would, however, need some co-hosts that actually recognize and appreciate the iconic tunes. Oh, he found the oldest man in the comment section. Well, he didn't say that he would even understand them.

He just might want me to do it for others. Well, thank you, Tim. I appreciate that. That's a good segue into our

topic today commercials i've been doing impressions by the way in your act yep can i hear wow no i mean you we get it started right here okay i didn't and like you know i do impressions now everyone knows it and i'll say throw out some and they'll throw out and i'll do it can we do another round just like a real rapid fire just quick round if you want i'm good at it who do you got hank williams jr um let me think

The preacher man said it's the end of time. Yeah, very good. Country boy can survive. Yeah, that's very good. Thank you. Trump. Trump. China. Very good. You're a natural. I don't know. I agree. I don't know how you've not been doing these your whole life. China. China.

I agree. I agree. People kept asking me this week, can I do Nate? Yeah. What'd you do? Nate is tough to do an impression of. I'd go, um. So. Um. Yeah. Something like that. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Yeah. Morgan Freeman. Um. I've spent a lot of nights in the hole. No, not in the hole. What is it he said? What the fuck is that?

What is it he says? Nah, that's a good one. I like that. I've spent a lot of nights. It's not a bad quote to do. Let's clip that out. I've got a lot of bad nights in the hole. That's your Morgan Freeman? I thought I nailed it. You did nail it. What is it he says? It's not the hole, is it? He's in multiple movies. I'm talking about Shawshank.

I remember my first night in the hole. But I'm talking about the night where Andy, he's waiting for Andy. It was like a long time ago. You guys are natural. Well, I am at least. A tall drink of water. All right. Andy Dufresne. I guess I just missed my friend. Some birds aren't meant to be killed. Sorry.

You know, I've said before that I've cast us all for Shawshank. Yeah. You're Andy. Yeah. You're Morgan Freeman, Red. Yeah. Okay. Nate's the warden. Yeah. And I'm Brooks. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Today we're talking about commercials. Let me ask you guys this. When's the last time you've actually bought something, you think, based off a commercial? I buy the – I go to Cracker Barrel all the time now. Well, yeah. When's the last time you were in a commercial? I was going to make the same joke. And then decide. I was going to say, we were at Cracker Barrel debating this. Yeah. Yeah. That's one of the great –

fun things in life. It was meaning, you know, time of your life where you're free enough. Do you see a commercial about something and you go, I got to go get it. I just don't even know when that car and go and get it. It depends on what you mean by commercial. If you mean a YouTube or a, uh, tech talk ad, um,

Two or three times a week, I'll buy something off TikTok. Oh, okay. In the TikTok shop. Yeah. How about a what? I don't know. A compass, a water filtration system, a... We're getting different ads, dude. A bug out bag. What about your survival shovel? Remember that? Was that a TikTok ad? Yeah. I think, well, that might have been before the TikTok shop, but I...

It was an ad. Yeah. And it got me. So you buy survival stuff. Sometimes stuff comes. I don't even know what it is. I got stuff in my car. Because TikTok I send to the post office box. So I'll go check my post office box. I'm like, what is that? It just stays in my car. But at the time, it seemed like it was a must have. Okay. What about you, Aaron? I think it was.

I mean, I think I remember this was years ago, but I remember seeing a Zaxby's TV commercial when I was living with some buddies from high school. And I was like, that looks so good. I could go for that right now. My buddy's like, let's go. Got in the car, drove to Zaxby's.

I think that's the only thing. That was great. Yeah. I'll occasionally see a food commercial. I'm like, that looks so good. I'm hungry right now. And the next time I see, I don't go out, but next time I see that restaurant passing, I'm like, I'm just going to go there. It never looks as good as it does commercial. You ever been full when you see a TV commercial and you're like, everything looks disgusting right now. I haven't.

I'm just kidding. Sometimes, though, on a commercial, the food looks bad. And you're like, this was your chance to showcase it. Yeah. Most of the time, it looks way better than it does in real life. Yeah. So commercials. Big Texas. I've never seen anybody go for a big Texas cinnamon roll.

Oh, is that what that is? That's a big Texas cinnamon roll, yeah. The commercials have evolved a little bit over time. Well, one, I think I sent you this. It used to be cigarettes could just advertise on TV. It hasn't been since 1971 that they finally realized cigarettes are bad for you, so they stopped doing ads. It's when they admitted that they were bad. Yeah, and I think we've showed this before because we did a –

advertising episode years ago. But I sent you some links. There was a cigarette commercial where the Flintstones...

Fred and Barney were advertising cigarettes. Oh, yeah. It's a very funny commercial. Their wives are out there in the yard working, doing yard work. And they're like, man, these women are really working hard. And they're like, yeah, let's go in the back so we don't have to see it. And then they go in the back and smoke cigarettes. Yeah. It's a good commercial. So anyway. I watch Andy Griff. It is funny how cigarettes have, even just in the way people view them,

Because I'll be watching an Andy Griffith episode, and he'll just be out on the porch and smoke a cigarette. And it's like, you think that this show is so wholesome that they would never do that. Not now. But Andy's just lighting one up out there. Yeah, it was different then. Yeah. It's like a character trait. Now, a lot of Aaron Sorkin's characters...

Like the hero will smoke cigarettes? Yeah. Just to let you know they're a little complicated? They have some demons? Well, I think we're going to do a tobacco episode here pretty soon. I've already done some research. And we can talk about some cool TV characters. Okay. Again, I was watching The Complete Unknown. That movie, Bob Dylan did not have a cigarette in his hand. Which is probably true. Probably. But I mean, it was just one right after the other. But TV ads used to be 60 Seconds.

Even I don't remember that. 60 seconds. What are they now? 15 if you're lucky? Yeah. So then most of my life, it's been 30. But now 15 is more prevalent than even 30 because people's attention span just keeps getting... What were yours? 15 seconds? 15 seconds. I talked to my dad the other day. He goes, you got to do a longer one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Your dad's like me. He's used to these longer ones. Yeah. That is such a dad comment. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, do a longer one. Just let them know. Yeah. Some Super Bowl commercials, I think the night of, they might be a minute. And then the next time you see them on TV the next day, they're shortened down. Condense it down. Condense a lot.

Like Nate's, I guess. Oh, yeah. The DoorDash. It's a DoorDash one. Yep. Yep. All right. Do y'all have a commercial as a kid or something that stood out to you? A favorite commercial? There have been a lot of really good ones, dude. I remember Goop. What?

That's what people say when they can't think of one. What do you mean? I was about to get into one. Okay, I'm sorry. You're like, where do I get started? So many. Look, I was thinking of the answer. I mean, which ones aren't good? But I was going to lead into it so seamlessly the people wouldn't have known. Okay. But I was thinking about it as I said that. Gotcha. And I'm still doing it right now. Okay. But...

Probably my favorite out of all the very many favorites that I've had. And it's been such a journey just getting to watch all these commercials. I would say if you put a gun to my head, let's say you put a gun to my head and said, Aaron, what's your favorite commercial of all time? I would say, listen, there's so many good. It's hard to narrow it down. It is. Google Chrome had a commercial, um,

years ago and it was about a single father and his daughter and it was all about their communication together over google chat and it's it's a tearjerker you'll cry at the end of it it's it's a it's just like a super cut of them talking to each other and and she's going off to college and she's hitting them up and it's it'll make you cry and then you look at the logo and you're like oh that's six six six

Google? Yeah, the Google Chrome logo. Because I don't remember that from the commercial. You're saying that's the 666? It looks like a circle divided into three things. Oh, I see it, Dusty. That's such a reach. Why would Google? Why would they put 666? That's the question. Yeah, why would they? Is it a reach, Aaron? I think it's pretty obvious. This demonic browser.

Dusty, you have a favorite commercial? I don't think so. I mean, I'm sure that I... This is going to be a short episode. No, I'm sure I've had some, but it just doesn't stick out in my mind. Cracker Barrel right now. Yeah, obviously. Cracker Barrel is the best commercial on TV currently. You know...

you know, like Matthew McConaughey driving in a Lincoln town car. I mean, I think he's cool. Uh, you know, uh, there's that one, uh, where they do the Paul Harvey, if I were the devil or I, or maybe they didn't do that one where they did the farmer one, the farmer one's very good. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

To me, right now, and you say you don't watch commercials. Anything flows in, or the other girl that does AT&T, Lily. I haven't seen Lily lately. Yeah, those are good. She's a stand-up comedian. Is she? Mm-hmm. I saw her here one night at Zany's. Oh, yeah? Were you on the show? No, I was just here hanging out. You didn't tell me?

Shoot me a text. I mean, this might have been before you even moved to Nashville. Oh, okay. She was... Do you follow her online? No, I didn't know she was a stand-up comic. There's a lot of pages just dedicated to... Big fan of AT&T. AT&T girl. Yeah. I have AT&T. I would say right now... There's your end right there.

commercial for AT&T how are you I have AT&T you know I have AT&T right I have phone service and fiber well you know she does how many times have you done after midnight one time okay she does she does that so maybe I'll be on the same episode that show just got taken off the air it did yeah did it oh I didn't know that got renewed and then she stepped down I'm doing the show I had no idea it's over

Until somebody else takes it over. Would you do that show? Yeah, I'll take it over. Okay. Tone of it's going to change a little bit. Way after midnight. It's going to be. That's true. It's the only way the FCC will allow it. After 2 a.m. with Dusty Slay. Yeah.

Anyway, to me, the funniest ads going today, and I referenced them last week's episode, is those progressive commercials where it can't make you not become more like your peers. Those are very funny. They're very funny. You said it makes you impolite. No, I do think they're funny. I like them, but I do think it steers people away from just being polite and having a conversation out in public. I don't think people's behavior are that dictated by a progressive commercial. And I think the guy who's the...

Director? Art shapes the culture. You think that's art? A progressive commercial? Yeah. Okay. You know what? Now that you've said that, though, I think my favorite commercial chain is the Mayhem Man.

The mayhem all state. Yeah. The insurance industry. Yeah, I had a whole thing here about it. Dominating the commercials. I love the mayhem. The mayhem is really great. What is up with that? Why is that? It's beer and insurance. Well, they have a ton of money because we're just giving them money. For nothing. For nothing. I read a tweet somewhere. It was like, my favorite thing about having health insurance is that you pay a whole lot of money, and then you get hurt and go to the hospital and have to pay a whole lot more. Yeah.

But you're right. The Geico Gecko. Oh, yeah. They all so easy. A caveman could do it. Caveman. Yeah. First time that aired, I was in a restaurant in Charleston watching. And the first one where he said, it's so easy. A caveman can do it. And then a caveman's holding the light. And he's like, come on, dude. I'm right here. That really made me laugh.

Well, the guy who came in was a cultural phenomenon. Yeah. I mean, that guy was everywhere. I think there was a TV show about him. I think so. Very short-lived. It became a thing, man. Beef jerky with Sasquatch. Let me go through the insurance commercials. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down.

Messing with Sasquatch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just remembering commercials. Well, that's your favorites, but now I'm going to move on. But as we start to, the mine's starting to open. Okay. Yeah. Dusty's mine's finally starting to open. Dusty's in. Yeah.

That's how they get you. It's that Google Chrome logo got them going. All right. Anyway, yes, the caveman, the Geico Gecko started in 1999. He's been around for a while. Yeah. 15 minutes could save you 15% more on your car insurance. Everybody knows that line now. Yeah. Flo from Progressive. She's appeared in more commercials than any actor. And then her little sidekick that kind of looks like you. Yeah. Yeah. Good looking dude. Well, he is. Yeah.

He's in shape. Why can I not find how many commercials she's been in? If you're trying to find that guy, how would you Google it? Oh, progressive? Dorky progressive guy. Progressive. I don't know about dorky. I think progressive guy got him. I didn't need to insult him to find him. But there he is. Seat gig. She's appeared in over 150 commercials as Flo from Progressive. Flo's great. I would never have guessed that many. She's in Mad Men. She plays a very small character in Mad Men.

I think she makes a lot of money now as Flo. Yeah, I don't think she needs to do bit parts like that anymore. Jake from State Farm. Yeah. I remember when Jake was white. Yeah. That first commercial? Yeah, there was a few, I think, and there was one where it was a very bad commercial. Oh, Khakis? That's a great commercial. That one is a good one. That's so good.

I'm talking about the one where the wife thinks he's cheating. Yeah, that's the one. That's so terrible. What are you wearing, Jake from State Farm? Packies. I thought I was going to break the lunch. What are you talking about? You're coming. You would. No, I'm kidding.

Hackville. What were your favorite ads from Little Orphan Annie growing up? Cigarettes. Winston Naturals. All right. The Affleck duck. Yeah. Oh, my dad sold Affleck for 30 years. Was it? Were they doing the duck back then? Oh, yeah. Not when he started, but while he was and he would have the little stuffed ducks. Yeah, that he could give to people as gifts. And he used to go around telling people.

that he was the voice of the Aflac duck. That's a great lie. Yeah. I thought it was Gilbert Godfrey. It was Gilbert Godfrey. Was it really? Yeah. Well, nobody, most people didn't know. So my dad would just, and then Gilbert Godfrey made some kind of joke about something in Japan. The tsunami or something? Yeah, some kind of joke. And apparently-

Japanese people are, now this is just what they said, are very concerned with cancer because of some obvious things that went down with nuclear bombs. Wait, what happened? So they do a lot of business with cancer policies with Aflac. So he made that tweet and Aflac dropped him. Yeah. Wow.

How about that? We bomb a country, then we swoop in and sell them insurance. Yeah. And now it's Nick Saban and Deion Sanders. That's right. Nick Saban is the worst actor of all time, but I love Nick Saban. He's in those Verbo commercials now. He's in a lot. He's pretty good in those, I think. He's just playing a jerk. Yeah, playing himself, but the writing's good. Now that he's not a coach, he's probably getting some acting classes. Mm-hmm.

Uh, the mayhem man from all state. That's the best. I love that character. Dean Winters. This is his name. I love that character. And then there's the, the Dennis Hasbert. Is that his name? That's all state stand. That guy. Yeah. I like that guy. But those commercials are too serious. Yeah. They're very serious. I like that guy. He was in a heat. Yeah. And he was in, uh, he's been a lot of stuff. He was in a baseball movie. Um, Mr. Th,

No, the one with Tom Selleck where they go to Japan, maybe? I don't know. Oh, he was also in Major League. He was... There's a show called The Unit on CBS. He in Major League 2? I've only seen Major League 2 once, so I don't remember, but you know him in Major League, right? He was... The voodoo guy? Yeah. Oh, I didn't connect. That was him. Yeah. Wow.

Now, let's say, Dusty, let's say we talked a little bit in the last episode about career ambitions, your goals. Let's say a company comes. I know you said the Cracker Barrel commercial, but what's your dream? Company comes to you. They go, we want you to be the flow or the mayhem man, and you'll just do this the rest of your life. Make millions of dollars, do funny commercials. What's your dream company to do that for?

I don't know, but I've been saying to people I'm trying to be the flow of Cracker Barrel. That is what I've been saying to people. I don't know. I don't know that there's a product that I'm wholly looking to endorse the rest of my life. Do you have something, Logan? No, I don't know. I'm trying to think about you. I don't know. Survivalist stuff again. Yeah, but they don't really do real commercials for that because that's not going to make you money. Especially if I'm trying to do it the rest of my life, it's like –

And we need the survivalist stuff. It's like, that keeps going after a while. They're going to be like, do we really need this? Yeah. You wouldn't do like a,

bass pro shops or something like that bass pro shops would be cool yeah just to be like that guy cabela's that whole yeah that whole universe yeah uh levi's or wrangler's or something like that yeah not wrangler i don't think okay because wrangler gets associated now with the cheap jeans at walmart does it really well it always has okay because wrangler makes very good jeans but then they also make cheaper jeans okay

And then they can get down to the rustlers. Bugle boy. Yeah. You know, I just, I don't know. What about Waffle House? I am more of a Cracker Barrel guy than Waffle House. Waffle House has really fallen off. I used to love it, but it's really fallen off. I think you're just growing up, man. I think Waffle House is what it is. Yeah. What if Western Sizzling started a campaign? If Western Sizzling got going again, I mean, you know.

They'd probably want me to take the joke down about the sweating on the buffet. Maybe so, yeah. Or lean into it. Yeah.

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Have you ever done any commercials? No, never done one. You did that, I mean, kind of a commercial, that promo for Sprung. You were in that. Oh, yeah. That aired during commercials. That's true. I was on a national TV spot for a while. Yeah.

There's helpful when you're one spoken line sums up the plot of the show in one sentence, but you delivered it. Well, yeah, thank you. Um, there's a commercial now. I think I sent it to you. Somebody posted on Reddit for auto zone or something. They say it looks like me. Maybe it's not auto zone. I'm not going to be able to see it because Reddit's blocked on the, uh, well, nevermind. Sorry. Go look it up folks.

The Limu Emu and Doug from Liberty Mitchell has another insurance. Limu Emu. Oh, I like that one. They kind of punk that one guy, though. I don't like it. The main guy, he gets punked a lot on that. What does that mean? Well, he's like the cop in charge, and it feels like they always treat him like he's not good enough, and I just feel bad for that guy. Of all people to feel bad for. I don't think those commercials are very good. I don't either.

I feel bad for that coyote, dude. He never gets the roadrunner. I do feel bad for him. Well, I did feel bad for him. Because a coyote should just be smart enough to just go for a different kind of bird. But don't you think it's the rejection that is so tempting about it? You know what I mean? It's chasing that which cannot be caught. It's like Moby Dick. A good finale for that show would be him catching the roadrunner finally and eating it.

Yeah, I think he catches him once, but somehow he's been shrunk in the Roadrunners. He's so small that he can barely get his arm around the Roadrunner's leg. That was kind of the joke. He was excited, but he couldn't do anything. All Looney Tunes stuff like that. I used to love it as a kid, but now when you watch it, it's like...

There's just always a loser and always a winner. And the winner never loses. The loser never wins. Don't you think a good ending to the Roadrunner coyote would be the coyote catches the Roadrunner, and he's about to bite into him and kill him. And he decides, I don't know if I really want this. Maybe the joy, maybe the thrill of this has been about the chase. And that if I finally catch it, if I finally kill this Roadrunner,

I won't have any meaning in my life anymore. And he lets them go, continuing an endless chase. Wouldn't that be nice? I like this ending. Yeah. Hold on. Let me get it. Let me get all of what you just said. Let me get just a little something going here. Yeah. I like what you said. All of what you said.

He lets him go. And then the roadrunner runs. Right. And then the coyote pulls out a gun, takes him down from long range. High powered rifle. And then gets to him. The scope. Takes a bite and goes, ah, this is tough. And then doesn't even eat the rest of it. That would be nice. And then he goes, Bugs Bunny's next. You know, when Shane Gillis hosted Saturday Night Live, they did a...

a sketch, the emu. Yeah. Where he had a gun. Cut for time, and then they put it up. Yeah. And some people commented like, oh, emu with a gun. Got that from Nate Land. Oh, that's funny. Which I don't think he did. I think so. You think so? Yeah. That's funny what you said about Bugs Bunny, like Looney Tunes, the clear-cut winner and loser. All shows used to be like that. Yeah. I just watched Crocodile Dundee 2.

You like the Crocodile Dundee movies, right? Paul Hogan, so great. But in the second one is when he goes back to Australia and the cartel chases him. Yeah. But he never ever – there's really nothing he ever does wrong. There's never any real conflict because he's always so much smarter than they are. Yeah. So by looking at it through today's lens, you're kind of like, well, what's the conflict? Why am I even worried for you? Because – I've not seen two in a while, but I think they kidnap his friend, right? Yeah.

They kidnap his girlfriend at the beginning. I thought they kidnap his friend and then he shoots his friend. Oh, yes, yes, yes. He shoots him, but he nicks him.

To make it look like he doesn't care. That's true. Yeah. That's pretty cool. The thing about Crocodile Dundee, though, that I like is it is like, this is a man that knows how to handle himself. That's right. But some of these, like the Equalizer and some of these, it's kind of cool, but yet when they never, ever do anything wrong, you're like, well...

You're going to win. Yeah. Yeah. Give them some flaws. Let them overcome something. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You ever see Lightning Jack? No. With Paul Hogan? You've seen Kangaroo Jack? And Cuba Gooding Jr.? No. Yep. Is it good? Yeah. And Beverly D'Angelo? Oh, I like her. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Can you drink in a beer commercial? No, you can't. Shane Gillis and Post Malone have a commercial now where they kind of allude to that, right? Uh-huh. Have you seen it? No. Okay.

Post Malone can't even do commercials now? Nah. It's not a, like it's not a law. It's an industry self-regulation. Yeah. The Beer Institute and beer companies have all just agreed that it would be best not to show people actually consuming alcohol. Oh, I love their morals. What a sweet, just, hey guys. Yeah, let's sell it to them, but let's don't show them drinking it, huh?

I want beer and alcohol commercials where you see where it's all people hung over. Just people hammered? Yeah. Yeah. That's what I want to show. All right. Let's talk about some of the most famous commercials ever. Apple, 1984. You guys know this? It's a great one, though. It's the Super Bowl commercial. Yep. Introduced the Macintosh computer. It's often cited as the best commercial ever. Wasn't the Macintosh a bit of a failure, though?

I think it was. The product that it was actually trying to sell. I mean, it got so much buzz. It's such an iconic commercial. I think the Macintosh was considered a failure. I think you're right. Coca-Cola, Mean Joe Green. Great commercial. You know this, Dusty? I don't think so. Probably if you show it. It's from the 70s. Did you send it to me on here? I can probably just look that up. Yeah. Mean Joe Green played for the Pittsburgh Steelers. He's walking off the field. Some kid somehow gets access.

And tunnel and... Hey, Mr. Green? Yeah. You need any help? Mm-hmm. I just want you to know, I think, I think you're the best ever. Yeah, sure. Want my Coke? It's okay. You can have it. No, no. Really, you can have it. If you're listening, skip ahead. Okay. Well, he downs it, doesn't he? Slickly.

The kid's 60 now.

I love that commercial. That's such a good commercial. Give me chills. That's so good. But you're right. It's so much. That would be a 15 second commercial now. That was a minute long. Yeah. And a lot of it is like, maybe you don't have 20 seconds of him just drinking the Coke. Yeah. Like, let's trim it down a little bit. You know, but that, you know, I watch the TV show Columbo a lot. And what I like is that they do take their time with it. Yeah.

You let things set in. Yeah. It's not quick cuts all the time. Yeah. Yeah, I like that too. I mentioned this a few weeks ago here. I don't think you guys were familiar with it. Where's the beef? Oh, yeah. It's from Wendy's. Old ladies are looking at the beef patty. I think it was referring to McDonald's. And she goes, where's the beef? This was such a popular. It's a musical.

bad when I was a kid. Everybody was like, where's the beef? It's a very big fluffy. Where's the beef? I love it. They probably can't even do commercials like that now. Now they're like, where's the impossible meat? Yeah.

Budweiser has two famous ones, Was Up and The Frogs. The Frogs. Budweiser. That's a good one. Budweiser. That was a really good one. I remember that one as a kid. That was a classic. Captain Obvious. Somebody just called Dusty Captain Obvious on Twitter. Yeah. I agreed with him. Dusty made, you know, I don't know. Oh, I saw that. That was a crazy comment. It's so like inappropriate. I mean, I'm just like, you know, I'm just sharing stuff. I was surprised you didn't.

didn't lay into him more. Yeah, but he seemed like he was, he follows me. Yeah. It seemed like he was trying to be funny. He was trying to have fun. That didn't usually hold you back. No, no. I follow you. Dos Equis, the most interesting man in the world. Yeah, those were great. Really good. Yep. Speaking of that similar vein, greatest commercials of all time, Real Men of Genius. Oh,

I forgot about those. Real men of genius. Oh, yeah. I can't remember what the product was. Bud Light presents real men of genius. Those were great. Yeah.

I don't even remember what any of them were, but they were so funny. Mentos had a good run. That's how Morgan Freeman got a start. Is it? Yeah, it was in a Mentos commercial. Yeah, Mentos where they would. Is that true? I might have completely made that up. I did see your link to celebrities in commercials. I might have completely made that up. Well, Mentos was like, you know, they'd be like, oh, I'm scared to do this. And then you're like, Papa Mentos. And then you're like, now I can do it.

Now I can do it. You know what I was thinking of? That was actually a... That lady, though, that just popped up. For putting the Mentos in the Coke. I got Morgan Freeman mixed up with Vinny Chase from Entourage. He started with a Mentos commercial. Some people say... That happens a lot. Morgan Freeman, this is a 1971 Alka-Seltzer commercial. Look at young Morgan Freeman. Yeah. I never knew he was young. He was born 50. This confirms it to me. Some people say that Morgan Freeman is Jimi Hendrix.

Who says that? Some people say that. Why would he become another famous rapper? Well, he's like, I've done everything I can do in the guitar world. Though, Rolling Stone will have me as the greatest guitarist of all time every time. Yeah. And now I can, you know, become a great actor. All right. He looks like him there. Yeah.

A couple more. Snickers, You're Not You When You're Hungry. Those are good. They kind of relaunched Betty White a little bit. Any of those commercials where they just create a formula and then they can just pump out like 30 of them. Those are really good. Joe Pesci has one of those too. Hungry? Why wait?

That was a Snickers commercial too. Volkswagen, the force where the kids out as Darth Vader. Oh, I haven't seen that one. You know this dusty. And then the dad has the automatic starter. This is a few years ago when it was newer. And right when the kid's doing the force, he starts the car and the kid freaks out. Cause he thinks he actually did it. So anyway, that's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. That's cute. Yeah. That's a good commercial.

A couple more from my childhood. I've fallen and I can't get up. Oh, iconic. Yeah, yeah. Life alert. Let me tell you. Those were so good. When I was in maybe sixth or seventh grade, went to summer camp. At the end of the summer camp, we all had to put on little sketches for everybody at camp. Yeah. And in one of the sketches, my character fell down. And our camp counselor was like, you should say I've fallen and I can't get up.

I was like, that's not funny at all. He's like, trust me, it'll kill.

And I go, I fall, I can't get up. And it murdered. And I had, with all the older people, I had no clue what it was. And I think it was years later before I realized that was what it was a reference to. But it was that iconic of a commercial. Yeah, I did. I remember my senior year of high school doing an act out thing in drama class where the girl goes, I fall and I can't get up. And then there's the second line, I'm having chest pains. ...to summon an ambulance, my next door neighbor...

I love it. Yeah, that's what the dispatch guys look like. I'm having chest pain. I'm calling paramedics and your family, Mr. Miller.

I've fallen and I can't get up. We're sending help immediately. The Crying Indian. Never seen that. I know that it's very iconic. Is that Lando Lakes Butter? No, this is a PSA actually for like conservative. Oh, Keep America Beautiful, 1970. Iron Iris Coney. Marlon Brando. At the end, he has a little tear down his cheek from all the pollution he's seen.

Right there. Jeez. Turns out that guy wasn't even Native American. Oh, that's where we've talked about this before. Yeah. That guy was not Native American. Yep. Wow. A couple of controversial commercials. Help reduce litter by 88% across 38 states, according to one reliable source. I don't know who that was. Just one guy was like, nah, 88% reduction. Yeah.

The Peloton commercial from a few years ago where the guy got his wife a Peloton. Yeah. You seen that, Dusty? I think so. Yeah. And people got really upset about it. Now Peloton's doing great. They had a couple of shows where people. Oh. They're laying off people by the thousands. Yeah. Well, there's a couple of TV shows where someone died on a Peloton. Really? Yeah. I think Billions and I think there was another one where. From a heart attack or something? Somebody had a heart attack. Wow.

uh pepsi's global message of unity with kindle jenner remember that i do remember that yep um you remember uh head on apply directly to the forehead oh yeah head on apply directly to the forehead head on apply directly to the forehead what about um locally we have that uh commercial about buying junk cars

We Buy Junk Cars. You ever hear that one? It's just some jingle. Real annoying. You ever get a card in the mail for We Buy Ugly Houses? And they're like, your house is on our radar. And you're like, oh, God. Let me tell you, We Buy Ugly Houses was hitting us up hard, dude. They were like, you're top of the list right now. The longest running commercial is Discount Tires commercial.

First started in 1975. Still airs some places where the old lady throws the tire through the window. You guys know this? No. Maybe when you see it. I don't think it airs much anymore. Thank you. This is Gun Tire Company.

You don't need Life Alert. It costs $18 to make that commercial. Yeah. Netflix now has a thing now, $7.99 a month. Of course. You can have ads. It was just a matter of time. A matter of time. $7.99, you can have ads. Yeah, or you pay more. $25 is the highest subscription, I think, a month, but $8 is... Just comes creeping back, dude. All right, a couple more things here. Subliminal messages. Dusty, you're getting to this, right? Yeah, man, that's what all of this is.

Here's the famous case that I always heard about, but I thought it was prevalent, but apparently it was just one time. 1957, a market researcher called a press conference and he said that he repeatedly flashed the slogans, drink Coca-Cola and eat popcorn throughout a movie too fast for conscious perception. As a result, he claimed sales of popcorn rose 18% and Coke by 58%. He called it subliminal advertising.

He thought everybody was going to love it because it was going to save money making these ads. People did not like it. He later confessed that his research, he's not even sure if it did increase the sale of the ads. So that one you're looking at there, that's a Burger King commercial. KFC. Oh, a KFC commercial where there's a dollar bill subliminally put in there.

What's that supposed to mean? Like you get that because it's only a dollar? I think so. I think your brain just registers a dollar bill as a good thing. There might be money in that sandwich. Get your snacks. I may have lost a page here. There was a McDonald's commercial. There was an Iron Chef episode where a McDonald's logo pops up

In the middle of it. Middle of the episode. Middle of the episode. They said it was just a mistake. It was an error. It's... You know, who knows. But Dusty, do you...

You think this is going on? It's tough to explain as a mistake. I mean, it just... Well, for sure, I think it's going on. I accidentally hit the McDonald's button. I don't know how they're doing it, but I think they do it with music. I think they have frequencies and things that can change your mood, can, you know... Well, music can change your mood. Yeah, but I think, you know, there's...

subliminal things that are happening in there. Like they put in something in music and it makes you change the frequency. Like there can be a healing frequency to music. And then there also is, you know, the opposite. Um, yeah. So I think everything is some kind of subliminal messaging to get to us.

To make us buy, to make us consume. Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy. You ever see the movie They Live? Yeah. Yeah. When the guy puts on the glasses and then it changes everything. They Live is, I wouldn't say They Live is a great movie, but it's a must watch. That's such an iconic scene. Obey. It's a must watch. The longest running sponsorship, this is not TV, it's radio. Martha White for the Grand Ole Opry.

Oh, yeah. Martha White Brand's been advertising the Grand Ole Opry since 1948. Oh. It's pretty crazy, huh? You've heard those, right? Yeah. Sure. That and Dollar General. Yeah. And Humana. Humana's, I think, the title sponsor, unfortunately, for Reno Collier. Cracker Barrel's Campfire Chicken, supposedly shaped like a satanic symbol. That's not true.

That's just what they're saying. That's what they're saying. I don't know who they is, but that's what they're saying on TikTok. When it opens up, there's a... I'm joking. It's the Ark of the Covenant. Here's another one. Burger King tweeted, this is in 2021, posted a tweet stating, women belong in the kitchen. It was supposed to be that only 20% of chefs are women. People are like, what? So it backfired on them.

Taco Bell used to have a commercial about the –

Belluminati. Uh-huh. And it was playing off the end. Charlie Daniels tweeted about it. Oh, yeah. Saying, don't be joking about the Illuminati. And then he died. And then soon after, he died. He got too close. Taco Bell, the bell in there does look like a snake's eye. You ever see that? Oh, that reminds me. I meant to talk to you guys about something. Okay. Okay. Look at that reptilian eye in that. Look at that. Just a circle? Nah, look at that thing in there.

That's a reptilian eye right there, man. Inside the bell? Yeah. What's he saying? Well, he's not saying anything. He's just looking at you. Letting you know I'm watching? Yeah, looking at you. I saw last night when I was doing research, all those hidden little FedEx. There's an arrow. You've seen that, right? There's a few others. Tostitos. It's two people putting chips together in the middle. Right, which will just break the chips. You never want to do that.

They're fighting over a chip. You never want to do that. Not over a bowl of salsa. Yeah. You're going to get your carpet all messed up. It's going to ruin the carpet. You have a club soda on. It's a whole thing. You know, I wanted to just, this is not on commercials, but we talked about cats one time. Yeah. And house cats, you know, they just say they're, you know, an evolved species of the other cats. But all the other feline cats,

have regular looking eyes, like almost human eyes, whereas the house cat has more of a reptilian eye. Well, I'm glad you brought that up now. It's a good time to talk about it. Yeah, it just looks like an eye. But then the pupils dilate, really. I mean, so that looks like normal eyes right there. But look at a lion's eye. My point is...

Yeah, what's your point? That the eye, I just don't think that that is, they never have the slitted eyes. So I just think that the house cat is a different species and not just a domesticated. So you think it evolved from reptiles? I think it's just a different kind of animal. And I just think that they always push the domesticated thing on us. I don't think so. It's a different kind of cat. Yeah, you've sent me some,

Instagram videos about this. Yeah. 3 a.m. I'll see my phone light up. I'm like, what is this? My mom. Oh, no, it's Dusty sending me a conspiracy video. My heart's pounding like, what's happened? There is an explanation for this, but it's not interesting. So we'll just move on. But just know it's been talked about. And no, Dusty's not going to agree with it. Yeah.

All right, let's get into... Go ahead, Dusty. No, I got nothing. I just don't... You know, I'm just saying what's interesting and what's not. Yeah, who are you... No, I'm saying the rebuttal to what you're saying is not interesting. So... What's it say? Well... Just give us a synopsis. Smaller cats have vertically slitted pupils, which are better suited for ambush hunting and judging distances. So they've just... They've both...

That seems interesting. It's a key adaption that helps them thrive in their respective environments. That seems interesting to me. What about you, Brian? I'm saying it's an explanation for the question that you're posing. It's an answer to it. Yeah, but that's what I mean, though. I just don't think that they always just tell us they're domesticated lions, and I just don't think so. There's a few steps in between. I think it's its own thing is all I'm saying. You don't think it's a feline?

I just think it's its own thing. It's always been this cat. Okay. That's my point. Okay. You think dogs were always just dogs? Well, I don't think they have a changing of the eye. Okay. And I think dogs are, in Bible times, always referenced in kind of a gross way. Dogs? Yeah. Yeah, they certainly weren't considered pets, I don't think, then. Yeah. Yeah.

They're much more domesticated now. All right, guys. Today we're talking about commercials. Here's one. We talked about some good commercials, some bad commercials. Here's one. Not even an ad because it's way of life. Bombas. Yeah. I'm wearing Bombas right now. Bomba spring socks are the best. It's a busy time of year and the right socks can make or break your spring. They really can. They really can. Bombas makes the ultimate air in socks from actually spring cleaning to walking the dog to everything in between. Yeah.

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Some TV commercial jingles. This is fun to me. I'll sing any of them you want. Alka-Seltzer, do you know? No, I don't know that one. Pop, pop, fizz, fizz. You guys don't know this? Is that melodic at all? You're so young. How does it go? Pop, pop, fizz, fizz. Oh, what a relief it is. No, I've never heard that. That's amazing. I got a lot more here. Kit Kat? Kit Kat.

Dude, give me a break. Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar. What about Baby Back Ribs? I want Baby Back Ribs. Chili's, Baby Back Ribs, Barbecue Sauce. That's a good one. Iconic. What about Rolaid Spells Relief? I don't know that one. That's not a jingle, I guess, but that's what they say. Rolaid Spells Relief.

um doctor naza heart nausea heartburn indigestion upset stomach diarrhea hey pepto bs ball yeah you know that one yeah i think so i don't know if that last part's out went but uh dr pepper you said one i'm a pepper you're a pepper what you want to be a pepper to be a pepper drink dr pepper everybody i don't know everybody's a pepper but not everybody's a doctor was that their expression too that's pretty good yeah

Dusty's now would be, I'm a prepper, you're a prepper. Would you want to be a prepper too? Well, everybody should be prepared to some extent. That's right. Band-Aid? Band-Aid. I'm a big kid now. Is that it? I think that's Oscar Mayer Wiener. Is it? I don't know. Barry Manilow. What is I'm a big kid now? Some kind of vitamin?

Hold on. You know what I'm talking about, right? I do know what you're talking about. I just don't know what the product is. Kit Kat? Snickers? Maybe Kix the cereal. Kix? That's kid-tested, mom-approved. Oh.

They don't eat. They don't. I'm a big kid now. That's a Huggies commercial. Okay. What about Apple Jacks? They don't taste like apples. We eat what we like. You're born. You probably were. What was it? Apple Jacks? Apple Jacks. They go, the dad goes, why do they call them Apple Jacks? They don't taste like apples. And the kids go, we eat what we like. Oh. That's not bad. What about the Trix? Trix.

They never let the tricks are for kids. Silly rabbit. Yeah, tricks are for kids. That's not really a song, is it? No. Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly. Is that a national commercial? I think it has to be. What about, they're great. Only half of these are songs, but I like it. What about this one? I know chickens can't fly, but can they swim? That's a good one.

That's a good commercial. Oh, Cracker Barrel. Yeah, that goes, crack, crack, Cracker Barrel. Is that really it? No. Oh, come on. The snack that smiles back goldfish. You know that one? I don't know that one. Band-Aid. Band-Aid. I'm a Band-Aid now. What does it do? I am stuck on Band-Aid. This Band-Aid's stuck on me. Great song. I'm getting cut at home. Stabbed with a pencil. Yeah.

Barry Manilow wrote a lot of these jingles. Did he really? Yeah, including that one. Good for him, man. But you came and you gave without taking. But I sent you away, oh, Mandy. Just a Barry Manilow song. Okay. I was like, what is that for? Meow Mix. Meow Mix. I write the songs that make the whole world sing.

I've got chicken. I've got liver. Meow mix, meow mix, please deliver. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Remember that one? Yeah, I just knew the meow, meow, meow, meow. I'm sure you did. Call J.G. Wentworth. 877-CASH-NOW. What about this one? I have a structured settlement, but I need cash now. What about this one? J.G. Wentworth.

877. I need cash now. 877 cash now. What about at the opera? Morgan and Morgan and Morgan and Morgan and Morgan and Morgan and Morgan and Morgan. You remember you made that question? I'm John Morgan and Morgan and Morgan and Morgan and Morgan. You made a spoof commercial? I took all the commercials that I cut down to just the Morgan and Morgan and Morgan because it's like, I'm John Morgan and Morgan and Morgan. That sounds ridiculous. It's just...

Yeah. Remember, there was a phenomenon for a while, FreeCreditReport.com. Oh, yeah. Remember those? FreeCreditReport.com. Tell your kids, tell your dad, tell your mom. Remember that? I was writing jokes about it because they just tell you to go check your credit and it'll get better. What about – this is an old one, Oscar Mayer Bologna. My –

baloney has a first name it's o-s-c-a-r my baloney has a last name second name uh second name it's m-y-e-m-e-y-e-r there you go yeah yeah uh a few more toys r us toys r us uh let me think no i don't know i don't want to grow up i'm a toys r us kid yeah and then we grew up and they closed yeah they did

Now, you worked in advertising, right, Aaron? I did for a little bit. Did you do commercials? A little bit. It was more social media stuff by the time I got into it and less about... The guy I worked for created...

One of the best commercials ever. It was a McDonald's commercial, like a Little League football. Then that eventually became the movie Little Giants. Really? He ended up writing the movie Little Giants with somebody else. But it was a commercial first for McDonald's of kids all playing football. And it was just a great commercial. So I worked with people that did that, but I was never involved at any kind of level. I'm loving it. Remember the one before that?

Also, that one and the ESPN one. The ESPN commercial where they're just doing the SportsCenter jingle at the beginning of football season. That was a good one. ESPN has the best promo commercials. They're so funny. Very funny. The SportsCenter ones. I don't remember that. 1972? I think they've had some in between. You Deserve a Break?

What is that all about? But yeah. And then we talked about the Roll Tide commercial. I like that one. I don't know High Tide. I don't know that one. You guys talked about that. That one stinks. Did you guys ever do puffery? A little bit. Yeah. I didn't inhale though.

It depends on what your definition of is. Yeah, puffery is the amount of, it's the kind of the license you have to exaggerate about your own business and it's legal. Like you're legally allowed to say best pizza in town, even if there's no metric to justify that statement.

So it's not, it's like a vague claim that's just kind of like, yeah. You're puffing yourself up. It's puffery. Yeah, exactly. It's beating your own chest, just saying, you know, whatever. It's the best thing since sliced bread. It's like, well, it's technically not.

Well, I say those sort of things, but they're true, though. It's like you're allowed to say it's the hottest show in town. Yeah. But you can't back that up with a science. I guess not. If I hired you as an advertiser to make a 30-second ad for me, what would be the copy?

Would there be any puffery involved? What is it for? For your show? Yeah. Or just for you in general? It's Brian Bates and Friends at Zany's. Oh, well, the sad reality is I'd probably just get Nate to talk. I would really try to get him to. You'd just get him to voice it? I'd just need Nate in the shot, and I'd need him talking. Hey, this is Brian. That's what will sell the tickets, unfortunately. Or maybe Dusty, too. Get him and Dusty.

just kind of keep you out of it. And I think that it's good. No standup in the video. No, God, no, you don't lead with the, you know, your worst foot. Focus on the friends part. Yeah. Yeah. Brian Bates and friends emphasis on friends. Yeah. Yeah. Friends and Brian Bates.

And you talk about puffery and friends, they might not even really be friends. Exactly. Yeah. Brian Bates and Acquaintances. Yeah. Brian Bates and who is available. That's a funnier title for a show. That would be. Brian Bates and Acquaintances. Especially now when there's so many and friends shows. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it'd be more accurate. Brian Bates and Strangers. No, you book your, you have your friends on the show. Not the next one coming up.

No, I'm joking. All right. Any other commercials y'all want to talk about? I think we covered all the big ones. We sang a lot. Oh, I'm sure we forgot many. This is probably the most singing we've ever done on the podcast. Well, I think it's the hottest podcast we've done. No puffery. I think Dusty's the hottest comedian in America. Hey, yo. No puffery here. Yeah. Yeah.

Dusty, if you were doing an ad for yourself, what would you do? Well, I'm trying to do ads for myself all the time. Yeah. So what I tell people is I go, come to my show. It's a relatively clean show. I say, I'm an adult and I'm doing comedy for other adults. I don't recommend kids come, but this is the type of show that you can bring your aunt to and you're not going to be embarrassed that you brought her. That's my ad. I go, it's a good show.

I'm not making fun of people. We're just laughing. We're having a good time. It's just like, hey, I make a few jokes at myself, but not enough to make you feel sorry for me. Right. It's just fun observational stuff. Do you make any jokes about yourself? Oh, yeah. A little bit. This whole thing is, yeah. What? Not clean, not dirty. Yeah. Just dusty. Just dusty. Yeah.

So that's the kind of ads I try to do where I'm like, hey, this is a show that you can just enjoy even if you don't know who I am. And then I say, hey, I got an hour on Netflix. I got an hour on YouTube. Go watch both of those if you want. This is a long ad. Decide if you like me or not. Yeah, my social media team is having a problem with it too. It's just too much good stuff. It's a little mini doc. Decide if you like me or not and then come see me and you're going to get a whole new hour, maybe more.

I like you do the mean Joan Greer commercial, but with you and you're walking to the green room after a show and a kid goes, Hey, dusty, you want some of my Coke? And you go, nah, there's all kinds of chemicals in there. Trying to give me high fructose corn syrup, buddy. And he goes, okay, sorry. And then that's the end. And then I swap it out of his hand. I go, you don't need to be drinking that either. Where's your dad at?

Mean, dusty sleigh. And then we'll do one for Aaron where he takes the Coke and then takes a sweat towel and throws it in the kid's face. The kid's like, oh my God. That'd be fun. And then I do one with me where like, hey kid, can you be at my next show? I need some extra people just to fill the seats.

All right. Uh, no, we're all professional comedians out here. We are the most professional of, we're the, probably the most professional comedians out there. No buffering, no puffery. Um, well, you started it, so I'm sorry. I'll let you. All right. So, um,

This weekend, I'm going to be in California. I'm going to start off in Modesto, California on Thursday, and then I'm going to go on Friday. I'm going on down to Bakersfield, California, Bakersfield, for a little Bakersfield sound, a little Buck Owens, a little Dwight Yoko, a little Merle Haggard. And then I'm headed on up to San Jose, California to surf the waves and

And do some comedy. All right. It's going to be great. I'm taking my friend from St. Louis, Will O'Donnell, with me. It's going to be a lot of fun. We've recently got QT, the quick trip gas station, to send us some swag. Awesome. And we like them. Big fans of the QT. And then, you know, just to throw a date out there down the road a little bit, I'll be back at Zaney's on June 24th. I just want to throw that out there. Yeah.

Where are you going to be June 24th? Jamie's in Nashville. All right. How about here? In our own backyard. Yes. Right there. Exactly. June 29th, I'm back at the Grand Ole Opry. Okay. July 6th, Good Nights Comedy Club in Raleigh. July 9th, Chattanooga at the Comedy Catch. July 29th, Brian Bates and Acquaintances. Awesome. You should call it that. You should call it that. This weekend, big weekend for me.

Saturday night, South Bend, Indiana, the Stock Room East. Hopefully both shows are sold out by now. Probably not. But then Sunday, I'm in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and I think that that's all sold out by now. So sorry if you can't make it, but if you are going to be there, I appreciate it. And then I want to plug it one more time. I won't talk too much about it. I'm worried I kind of described it wrong. Let me say for Fort Wayne, you actually added a second show.

No, we didn't. Oh, okay. Yeah, that'd be nice, but I don't know. I don't know if we have the time to do that. But October 22nd, my wife and I are doing a fundraiser here at Zany's called Prater Silly, Prater Silly. Sorry, it's for the organization Prater Wheelie Association of America, I think it's called.

It's not for us. I want to make that it's not a fundraiser for us. It's for the organization that we're hosting. The lineup's great. It's going to be a great show. We got a lot of corporate sponsors. People are putting money into it. We're going to give them a show worthy of it. That's October 22nd. My wife and I are really proud of what we're putting together. So make sure you check that out if you're in the area. That's awesome. Thank you. Yep. Thanks, man. Appreciate it.

There used to be a comedy club in Fort Wayne called Snickers. I heard of that. Never did it. I did that club with a guy named Dobie Maxwell. Me and him did that club, and I featured for him. We put on a really great show. Both shows were sold out. Back-to-back, really great shows.

I mean, the audience laughed the entire time. What happened? And then we go out to stand by the exit. I got a little merch. I think he's got a little merch. I got a CD, and I think maybe he has something similar. And I don't think a single audience member even looked us in the face. Yeah.

I've never been walked by by that many people in my whole life. Why do you think that was? I don't know. Yeah. Because I never met Dobie, but I had a good set. And then I thought he had a really good set. And I never seen anything like it in my whole life.

Both shows? Both shows. I don't even know if we went out there the second time. I'll be honest. Sometimes it'll be like that. They're really great show. Then they just leave. And then you think it's a bad show. And a lot of people come up and are very nice to you after the show. But it was great. I really liked, I liked Fort Wayne. That was also a club. I wrote a joke about this, but I went up to a waitress there at the club and I go, Hey, can I order some food with you? Right. She goes, you want to order some food with me? I go, yeah. She goes, I'm busy. Right.

And then I was like, oh, okay. And then she – I was like, all right, whatever. I'll just find another waitress. And then she comes running up to me and she goes, oh, you want to order some food? I thought you were asking me on a date. Yeah.

I was like, oh, okay. Well, that's much worse. Before, I just thought you were bad at your job. Now you're rejecting me. I'm busy. You got rejected without even putting yourself out there. Yeah. I'm busy. Oh, geez. All right. That's very funny. I didn't know that was there. Yeah. Well, come see me. Come see me there. Yeah. Summit City.

That's it. You want to close it out, Dusty? Yeah, we've had a great time doing this podcast with you guys. We've sang a lot of jingles. We played a lot of commercials. This has been more of an interactive podcast than I think we've ever done. We showed a lot of it. I mean, interactive in the fact that we use a lot of technology and we put a lot of video into this.

And high production value is very good. Aaron just ran that computer like that's his job out here. And Brian put together another flawless podcast. I mean, his research is unmatched. And I just want you guys to know, as we're signing out here, that we all are professional comedians. This is what we do for a living.

No puffery. And we want to thank you for listening to this podcast. And come see us at our shows. And we hope you have a wonderful day. We're having a good time. See you next week.