#88 Dinosaurs ft. Dusty Slay
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Every frame is designed in-house with a huge selection of styles for every face shape. And with Warby Parker's free home try-on program, you can order five pairs to try at home for free. Shipping is free both ways too. Go to warbyparker.com slash covered to try five pairs of frames at home for free. warbyparker.com slash covered. Hello folks, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm neighbor Getzey, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber.

Hello, folks. Doing it again. I guess we do it twice. Like I said, welcome to Nate Land Podcast. Happy you guys are here. As you know, this is one of the episodes I get. We've already been talking about a bunch of probably. I've been gone for one month. So I'm out on the road getting in amazing shape.

I hope you come back so fat. You imagine how happy it would make me if you come back 350 pounds. I go, all right, everybody, we're going a different comedy route, more of the Chris Farley.

it would be like, uh, when Elaine's back went back out and Jerry's like strange, I would've thought Kramer would have. Yeah. Cause you're using your barber. Yeah. But at a neck for some people's five or something like that. Eric. Yeah. It's funny. Eric doesn't know how to do stuff. You go, where's his real job? He's a barber. Your hair looks great. You're enormous. You're gigantic. A beach dwell walking in here. Uh,

No, it's good. It'll be great. I mean, we'll see. Yeah. I've been like going crazy because it's like, I know it's like we're going to reel it in. And I mean, I've gotten like, I'm pretty big now. I don't know what I'll weigh. I need to weigh myself. I don't think I'm 200, but like, I mean, I could, like I have a belt that I put on and it's down to the last circle. And like, it's.

last hole i guess last notch the last notch you have to make a new one yeah it's like well it's like it's funny just to it's almost good for me to see it to be like yeah dude it doesn't take you know i mean i was my waist would get down there's jeans i can wear they're 32 and stuff and like i mean you're like you're down there and then now i uh you know it's uh you it goes the other way and it gets there quick oh yeah yeah pretty crazy

All right, we'll start off with some of you guys' comments. Michelle Chapman, Nate's laugh is the best when he gets really tickled. Best podcast that covers all the first world problems. Margarine versus butter, jam versus jelly, the great ketchup refrigerator debate. Do they have a podcast category at the Grammys? We call Harper's, my wife's, my mother-in-law, she's called Grammy, so...

I don't know. No, they don't do a podcast category at the Grammys. I don't guess so. No, I don't think they would. We would win. Probably. Yeah. Everybody gets a Grammy. He's got an Emmy and a Grammy. He's halfway to a kneecap. He's halfway to a kneecap. He's the one that's going to be Whoopi Goldberg, Brian Bates. Yeah.

Thank you, Michelle. Trey McIntosh. Hey, Nate, you are mine and my fiance's Sydney's favorite comedian, but I can't get her into podcasts. What is your best idea for me to get her to watch you and Barnaby Jones argue over how to say words and Aaron laugh condescendingly at both of you? Condescendingly. Condescendingly. Condescendingly. The way I'm saying it. Yeah, it kind of worked perfectly. Yeah.

Yeah, that- That means to like talk down to someone. Yeah. And that was- Because you didn't know you're an idiot. That word is- Yeah, so they make that word just hard enough that someone goes condescendingly. Yeah. And they go condesc- Yeah, the C is silent. Yeah. Condescending. Oh, what C? In the condescending. The second C. Mm-hmm.

Oh, I pronounced it. Condescendingly. So if I said it like that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Why are you being so condescending right now? Why are you being so condescending, dude? Right now. Yeah. It's condescending. Yeah. Well, that's pretty funny. They've made some words that are pretty funny that you're like, yeah, they really work out. Science. Think about that. Science? Oh, science. That's how science is spelled. Yeah. Yeah, science. The first guy that did it. What if the person that came up with that word wanted it to be science? Science.

It never took off. And that was just science. Because that's science for you. That's science for you. If you wanted to get in a podcast, I wouldn't start here. And...

I mean, you got to, yeah. Ours, I think you got to be along for the ride. It's so tough. I mean, you'd be, you know, it really, I think podcasts are people's time. Like, do they, you know, it's like your job, you have a drive, do you have a, it's like that kind of thing. I think it's easy if you can upload them easy to like, sometimes it's hard to think,

I don't know, dude, I got to get my phone and do a whole thing. Am I going to like, you know, and people are just like, ah, just turn on the radio. I don't, you know, I think it's just, yeah, it's time. Do you listen to a lot of podcasts? I do. When do you do it? Drives? Cause I drive a lot. Like every weekend I drive a ton. So I have a few podcasts that I. Yeah. It's like when you're driving, like, or, you know, or if you can have it on, if you're doing stuff around the house or whatever, it's really a time. Like if you have time for something.

But ours is, I think ours is good because you don't have to pay attention too much. So that's the point of it. It's passive entertainment. Yes. We're not looking to be your main thing. Put it on the background of a dinner party. Just turn it down low. Yeah, just turn it down a little bit. Yeah, we should be in more dinner parties. Yeah, Trey, have a dinner party.

John Barry, I know Nate gets a lot of flack for potential being potentially being dyslexic. I mean, I was close. Because I'll get hung up on potentially, and then I'm dyslexic. I have an alternate theory on this. I often struggle, much like Nate, with confronted with a new word I've never seen before.

Trying to sound it out. He's got commas. This is supposed to send, it's supposed to keep going. It's not supposed to stop. I mean, I mean, that was a lot of commas. I often struggle much like Nate when confronted with a new word I've never seen before, trying to sound it out.

The idea of being confronted with this new word is so great too. Like just being like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No one said anything about this. Yeah. Bartholomew. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't just come flowing numbers around. I don't know what that means. I think it boils down to how you originally learned how to read. Apparently reading clicked for me by memorizing words. I commonly see.

until I have essentially memorized every word I run into. My wife, on the other hand, learned to read by actually sounding out all the individual phononics. What is it? Phonics. Phonics.

Hooked on phonics. Hooked on phonics worked for me. That's a Brian Regan joke. Hooked on phonics. Worked for me of each word. When we go somewhere where we encounter a new word, I don't even have a shot of trying to sound out the new word, but it just flows off my wife's tongue every time. So good news, Nate.

John Barry's going to have to write a new comment and go, after you read that, Nate, I don't know what's going on. So good news, Nate may not be dyslexic. However, Nate may not know how to read. I mean, it's a bunch of that. Yeah. I don't know how to read where you can follow along.

I think I can read. It's kind of a big part. Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm trying to get other people to listen. Oh, you mean, you didn't know how to follow. I know how to read, but it's like, just leave me alone. Like, don't ask me about it. But if you're like, no, we need you to read to people. You're like, ah, come on, man. Yeah. I'm not going to be, don't make me up there to go read something in front of people as we do this podcast. They can only take a little bit of this.

Brandy K. Y'all had a breath of fresh air with your best guest yet, Leanne Morgan. She inspired me to start stand-up comedy, and now I am insufferable. There you go. Here's advice I need. How do you guys work out your new bits? I keep trying to run them by my husband, Bill, but he is so over it. Please, either give me some better advice or tell Bill to get over it being over it. Get over it being over it. We're both listening. Many thanks. Yeah, I mean, I think...

I always think a good way is try to mix them in some conversation. Let me try to tell, like, that's a, I tried to, I mean, try and tell a story. I think it makes you sound more conversational on stage. So you see if now, if you do a real jokey joke, it might be a little different, difficult, but like whatever your idea is, just try to do it to some friends or try to, and try to really, you don't want them to know that you're trying this.

Because I think that helps you on stage and that makes you conversational. So that's how I would do it. And then you go, it's funny, right? I might do that on stage. And then afterwards you say you might do it on stage. But you just kind of like, it don't feel like you're just rattling off. You can't just be like, sit down. You need a friend that is able to handle that. Probably not your husband. I wouldn't do that to Laura.

You want someone else, find out, you have a friend that's a good laugher. Yeah. I would have buddies, Pete, Jeremy Morrow, like I'd call him. Jeremy would laugh at anything. So if you want just some confidence in a joke, I could tell him and he would, he would be dying. And so like, you know, you have a friend that's like willing to, you know, you know, they're going to laugh a lot. Call them. They like enjoy hearing stories, you know? Yeah. So find that person.

Matt Tanner. I'm Nate's age, and what I've noticed as you get older is every generation seems to watch the shows they watch in their 20s or maybe early 30s the most. I noticed the generation that grew up with Westerns love them, and I hate old Westerns. I think it's a comfort level, and like Nate said, you don't have to follow these shows close because you know them well. That's true. I'm not a Western guy.

People love them. But people my age love them, and you love them. Gunsmoke. That's how you grew up. I could get lured into it because I watched some with my grandfather. It brings back memories. Yeah, me too. And then, yeah, what memories does it bring back? Are you like, oh, he pushed me on a swing one time.

Just watching it with my grandfather. Yeah. That's it. Oh, that's the memory it brings back? Yeah. That's funny that everybody says it brings back memories. You go, what other memories? No, just a memory. I watched it. I remember I watched this with my grandfather. So it brings back one memory? You go, yeah, I remember him. So that's the bringing back memories? Yeah, I can watch old TV shows from like the 80s, and I remember watching it with my dad and him laughing about certain scenes, and it still brings joy to me now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah, that's cool.

I think you should say that, though, instead of memories. That's a little not... Like, that's a more pleasant thing to hear. Yeah. That brings back memories. You're like, all right, who cares? Well, my dad, the way he laughed at the shows, well, that's beautiful. Well, we didn't watch Westerns together, so that's why I said that. But... Cop. You watched cop stuff? Me and my dad? Yeah. I watched a little Chips, yeah. Coach. Andy Griffith. Watched a little Coach.

uh andy griffith we watched as a family that brings back a lot of memories what were those memories idiot uh yeah just clapping idiot idiot uh liam unra unra hey is that correct i'm calling liam you liam you

Unruh. I bet it's Unruh. Unreal. Liam Unruh. Unruh, believable. You think it's Liam Unruh? You think the sentence is about to keep going? They go, I'm Liam Unruh.

Oh, that's it? Yeah, that was it. Unruh what? Unruh what? Yeah. Unresolved. Yeah. Unruh to get out of here. Hey, Nate, Aaron in bed rest. Love the podcast. It gets me through work every day. My dad and I almost saw Nate at the Rhyme in October. We flew out from Winnipeg only to find that tickets were all sold out. So we sat on the curb and watched enviously. Enviously. Enviously.

It's a new word. My God. What do you say when it happens? Now the word's in your database. Now it's in there. Yeah, enviously. Yeah, what is it when someone and I'm...

Much like when we come over to the new world, it seems trying to sound... He never gave it a term. Yeah. No, but I like the way he said it. Confronted. Yeah. Yeah. So I was confronted with, whoa, you get into a sentence and you go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where'd this sentence come from? Watched in jealous of all the people heading into theater for some laughs, wishing there was some way to sneak in. Can't wait till you guys come up to Winnipeg. Keep it up.

Yes, Liam. I'll be at Winnipeg. I hate that you came all the way down there. That's crazy. When he said that, you hadn't even announced those Canada shows. And now we are. Yep. Yeah. And I think jealous is actually the correct term instead of envious. Oh. What's the difference?

Yeah. Envious would be like- That explains why Liam came to a sold out show and couldn't get in. They're not smart enough to- Sorry, Liam. I'm telling you. You know what? Dead gummit, Liam. All right. I'll meet Liam. We're going to meet Liam when you come to the show. Just email the podcast. I thought envious would be like if you were jealous of someone going to any comedy show. Jealous is specifically Nate's show. Well, I've never heard that distinction before, but you might be right. There you go. All right.

But you missed Liam. Bunch of that on stage for... Trey, if you're trying to get your fiance to watch this podcast. Fast forward to that time. If Liam writes back, we'll meet him in Winnipeg. I mean, he said outside the whole show. Let's go meet whoever he's with. Chris G. Nate, my wife wants me to get my hair cut like yours. I've asked for the Bargetti cut.

But the person cutting my hair doesn't have a clue what that is. I saw an old tweet where your hair looked like Faith Hill. And I'm guessing she wants to look more like your 2022 style. Does the haircut have a name? Well, there's Faith. That looks like me. Yeah, I like Faith's hair. She has good ears. She does. Does your haircut have a name? No. No.

Eric, once I... I mean, I've been working out with him, so I'll figure out what to... We'll make it the Borghese. Called the Nate. I don't know what it is. It's, you know... What is it? It's like short here, and then it fades up. So I go... I mean, it's not cut right now, but it would be like a fade. So it's like... And then my beard will be like this is... There's not much here. And then it fades up. And I have it faded up pretty high. And I have a cowlick. I was licked by a cow at a young boy.

and so i have a cowlick right there so i have to always go that way yeah have we ever done a cowlick thing no i was yeah i would say they get a cowlick i go yeah i got licked by a cow when i was a kid can't get away from it joe so chris just show just show your barber that video just show him that video fast forward to that part of the podcast or see if your wife wants like mine keeps yeah uh

Yeah, if you're like Brian, get keeps. Yeah, what's your haircut? What do you do? You go, just hang on.

Guys, don't touch it. Nobody touch it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. It's everybody's real easy. What are you doing, dude? Yeah. You can have some fun down low, but that's up top. Let's get tighter. They put police tape around it. You have two different people cut your hair. You let a beginner do the bottom, and then you fly in a guy for the top. That's go easy. Stan, come on in here. Yeah.

Joshua Brewbaker. I feel like I've seen the last name Brewbaker before. Was stoked to see Nate and crew discovering Buc-ee's. Our two girls went to their first Buc-ee's in January, and there was sensory overload for sure. My wife wants to know what souvenir Nate brought Harper. Oh, a sweatshirt. I read it. Yeah, I was definitely confronted by it. Laura put the answer in there for me.

Yeah. And highlighted it. Laura highlighted sweatshirt. And you're like, oh, sweatshirt. Yeah. Yeah. Just in case I, because I'd be like, I don't know what I bought. Yeah. Yeah. We brought, we got her the sweatshirt. Apparently a big deal for these kids to wear. So we got her one. Someone said that Bucky's is being built in Crossville. Crossville, not Cookville. Same thing.

Cumberland County, not Putnam County. Yeah. Come on, dude. Come on, man. Aaron went to Notre Dame. Christopher Stanley. Nathaniel mentioned that he has done away with mic stands. Was this before or after the shows in Vegas in December? I remember him saying goodnight and walking right into the mic stand on his way out. That is hilarious. I did do that. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and figured it was a tribute to his dad who opened that night in the old clown days. On that subject, though, can any of you,

the three gents tell any stories about any embarrassing things that have happened while you were on stage, a trip, a fall amount, a wall. Oh,

A wardrobe malfunction, et cetera. You guys are literally the greatest. Thank you, Christopher. Yeah, that night, that was pretty embarrassing. I had the mic set there, and I think I already started not using the mic, and then we went back to the mic stand just because my dad and Nick were there. And so I kind of forgot about me moving it, and so I just turned and I walked right into it.

Uh, so that, I mean, that was kind of embarrassing. I mean, that's, you know, gracefully as people will give you this big applause and you're like, I did it. And you just sat by that, like walking into a rake and you're just like, oh, uh, that, I think I talked about it recently. I had a sneeze. Oh yeah. That was, that's not great. Uh, I've had my zipper down.

You know, I check it so much now, but I've had that. And my hair, my haircut in the Comedy Central special, we talked about that. If you, huh? We did talk about it. The Lego hair? Yeah. Yeah. No, no. But the hair mess up in it. Oh, right. Between takes. Between takes. If you go look at it, one, I have one side that swoops down on the left side is a big swoop. And then other jokes, it's not. And my hair was different in both shows.

so it cuts back in before. So, I mean, some people have noticed it. Not everybody's noticed it, but those are mine. I mentioned my shoestring being untied on stage, and the whole time I'm like, nobody's going to notice this, and I think that's all everyone was focused on. Oh, yeah. That's all that was noticed. Yeah. That'd be tough to get, you know, that'd be tough to get over. Some reason my head... Did you address it? No. I mean, I really just thought...

The angle, like up on stage. I mean, I know up high, they're higher than I am, but I thought they're so far away, they won't notice it. And then the people on the floor, I thought, I'm higher than they are. I don't think they can see it. That's all they see. Yeah. I would have to address it. I mean, if I ever spilled, I mean, I've spilled water on me before, and I'll have to be like, I didn't pee my pants. I'm going to walk out. It's the first thing I'll say. If I have something wrong, I'm going to. Yeah, you got to. There's no way for me not to say it. You got to. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm a real hack, so I use voices and I use the mic stand a lot as a prop for a joke. So I've broken a couple mic stands in the middle of the show. What are you doing? And one time I dropped it into the crowd and it landed on somebody's table. What are you doing? Are you serious? I'm trying to survive up there, dude. Yeah. I'm doing everything I can. You use the mic that much? The mic stand. You use the mic stand that much?

You used enough that you dropped it in the front? I was tilting it, then I lost control. It tipped over. What is not getting across with your jokes? What are you not? Are you not describing them good enough that you got to? No, I need the visual, dude. Yeah. You got to be like, so I'm walking with this lady. All right. So me and my wife go out. She's mic standing, right? Everybody can see it. So here we go. And then I turn and I bump into it. And then you knock it into the crowd and it hits the table. Yeah. Yeah.

It's only once. Do you use the stool? I don't use the stool much. No, I don't use the stool. What about the xylophone sound effect? That's just with the mic. I know, but don't you have on your iPhone? That's what I'm saying. I'm juggling a lot of props up there. You got a lot of stuff up there. But does it always work? A lot of water bottles. I'm doing that. You're the opposite of everybody that leaves stuff in the green room. You take it all off. I take my backpack out there. I set that down. You're walking out there with a lot of stuff. Carrot top. Yeah.

Yeah. Take my wallet. I spent the first five minutes getting everything out of my pocket. Yeah. Put it on that stool like John Cena. So when you go do theaters, they're going, do you want a mic stand? You're like, oh, yeah. I mean, that's the reason I'm doing theaters. I have a couple of backups. That's what got me here. I would always, they have two, like, I remember my agent, my old college, when I do colleges, my writer said to have two stools.

And so they'd always have two stools on stage, and I would just go. And you get riders, I think I've talked about this, but you get them from just old different acts and whatever. Yeah. And then you're like, why do I have two stools? And I just would always have two stools. I'm like, I don't even, I mean, I just use a stool to, you set your water down there. A borderline, I don't even need one. But then now I've got two of them, and I don't use them. I realize sometimes they're used if someone sits on the stool,

And they have their water on one stool, but I'm not using either stool. So then you're like, this guy just looks like he's like, I'd like a couple of stools out there if you don't mind. Like when you don't touch, when you don't touch them, everybody's like, why would you have all those? I just like be out there with a couple of stools. Yeah. Spread them out. Yeah. Let them, let them wander. It's like Chekhov's gun. You know that? Okay. Uh,

No one knows what that is. You know Chekhov's gun? It's a theory in filmmaking. No. It's that if you show something, you have to use it for something. You can't just be there, then it's distracting because you're wondering what are they going to use that for the whole time. Why is it called Chekhov? I think Chekhov was the guy who did it. And he never used a gun? I think there was something with a gun. Alec Baldwin?

Alec Baldwin's gun. It's a dramatic principle that suggests that details within a story or play will contribute to the overall narrative. So if there's an empty stool there, I'm going to be sitting there thinking he's going to use that for something. Yeah. And it'll disappoint me when you don't. Yeah. Okay. Kate Hudson. Oh, Katie Hudson. Oh. I saw Nate's...

best friend forever jay cutler at the salt lake airport even being a huge bear fans growing up all i want to say him was i i love you on nateland i refrained because he was there with his three kids wondering what your take is on being approached while you are with uh your family i think jay's a reasonable person that's that's my joke like a jay would have bitten your head off uh

I don't talk to Jay when he's near me. No, I think Jay would have been... I have no idea how Jay handles that. Jay's famous where you're like, this happens all the time. I've had people come up with my family, but it's not enough that... I don't think I've had it enough where I'm like... I like the old... The reason we're probably getting to be on that trip is because you watch my stuff. So I'm always super appreciative of that.

of it you know i mean i get like if you're with your family it's like yeah don't it's like i don't want you to you maybe don't be as aggressive as if i was alone yeah but it's like saying a hi or something like i don't mind i have sometimes they want a picture and they'll be like oh harper can be in the picture there's some of that where you're like oh she doesn't need to be in the pic like i'll just take it with you yeah and i don't know there's any real reason for why i want that or not but it's just almost like yeah there's no reason to drag her in this pic like she you know or like laura there sometimes be like

You know, sometimes Laura doesn't, you know, we're in the airport. She doesn't want to be in the picture. Right. I'll take pictures all day. I'll take them of your family as you walk. I'll take just me, your family, and we all leave. I'll go ride with your family. Stuart Oler. Nate, my fiancé and I watched a new Netflix special, and we need to know what kind of your mom's pants did your dad wear to that funeral? Who wore them better in your opinion?

So this is also highlighted. Walmart white stag. I don't know what that means. I don't either. They wore, oh, Walmart white stag pants is the pants my dad wore. So my mom had, my mom buys her pants at Walmart. They look like comfortable pants. I get it. I would wear them. Yeah. We shop at Walmart. We buy our clothes in Walmart.

Just bags. This was the winter collection. You walk out, it's all the same size. That's how Dan Soder bought his Levi's. That's the best we bought in a Walmart. He bought them in bulk, right? He bought them in bulk. We're in the middle of Pittsburgh or somewhere, just at a Walmart. And he goes, give him some jeans. Bought six of them. They were like wrapped all together. Like Jane Soder. He's like, yeah, this is good. This is how I wear my jeans. Yeah.

Yeah, one more white stack. Jeremy Donovan, on a previous podcast, you talked about golf etiquette and people staring down the ball in mid-flight for too long. I'm an avid golfer and completely agree. However, I had one situation where I should have but didn't. On a par three, I hit the hosel of my iron and the ball went out of bounds.

I teed up another ball and struck it well. I immediately turned away out of frustration, but also because I thought it would be rude to stare down a third shot on a par three to see where my soon-to-be bogey putt would land. As I walked to the court, I heard my friend shout in celebration as my ball fell into the cup for the best par of my life.

To this day, my friends make fun of me for not seeing it go in. Would you have watched a shot in that situation or turned down and pouted the way I did it? I understand the situation that you were in. I think you handled it. You handled it a better way. I'd rather you be you missing it than you be you watching it. Yeah, yeah. Because then if you would have watched it, it's like you watch it for the reason.

And if someone wants to watch, like I get one or watch their shot. There is, it's not long. There's just a few extra seconds.

but it's like, just get, you know, got Greg, get your tea. And as you watch it, you just kind of walk off like that. Let the other person start team. Just stand there the whole time. Yeah. It's like, it's when they stand there the whole time. And then he turned your foot. Yeah. And then they turn their foot clubs. Then they got to, then they got to get their tea. That's my joke is always when someone like a, I know he turns his foot, but, uh, when someone does it, I'm like, you got everything, your keys, wallet, like, it looks like they're just being like, do I have everything before I get out of here? Uh,

So it's like you just grab it and just kind of walk off. But, yeah, I think you would, as you hit it, I think I would do what you did. I'd maybe be watching it as I walked to the cart. Yeah. Like, you know, maybe walk a little slow if it's like, man, that's a good, it's right on line. It's even better, you know, Jeremy? I like that you are you. So there you go. All right, everybody. We are here with Dusty Slay. He's on the stand-ups.

The new season, season three. People have been talking about it. People have been, your part, you killed it. Well, I'm pumped. Yeah, thanks for having me. We're having a good time. And I, yeah, people have been talking about it on Twitter, but I don't know, you know, I don't know how anything's doing. Have you done road stuff?

I don't think so. Have you been on the road? Oh, I've been on the road. Yeah. I didn't know if that was a thing. Yeah. I'm like, have you, you haven't done roads? I'm like, you're just going nowhere. Oh, you haven't done road stuff yet? Oh, you got a long way to go. Yeah. Uh,

uh no you see if you see people come out yeah i mean i did denver uh the weekend it came out yeah and i don't know people were like i i don't really do denver so people were like oh this is great for a wednesday and so i was like oh yeah denver is a great comedy yeah and that's yeah and then i did brea california a bunch of people came and that was improv yeah yeah and i did raleigh improv and i'm

Way more people came than the last time I was there. Yeah. I did a show last night at Zany's, sold out. Yeah, sold out last night at Zany's. Wow. You did? Yeah. Oh, wow. The ovation feels different now when you walk out, right? It does feel different. Before, I mean, I got used to being able to do a real weird show because it felt like a lot of people were there, but...

Maybe they didn't know why they were there and I got to go out and be weird. But last night, there was no room for weirdness. I mean, they were ready to laugh. Yeah, you almost like you missed the weirdness.

Yeah, I was like, at certain points, I was like, I've done that joke before, and it's not gotten that kind of laugh. Yeah. So I'm like, I don't know. Do you think it's funny, or are you just pumped to be here? It's a mix of that. It's a pump to be there, but they have expectations. Yeah. But that's where your job comes in, to know...

Like you got to go, all right, I got to, you want to exceed their expectations. Right. And you got to be aware of it because then you can tell if you're like, because I think that's, this is, you're at a spot where it's like, it can go two ways. You can either just ride the crowd that's laughing at you and no matter what, they're just, they like you and they're happy to be there. And then you don't get better as a comic. Right. Which I think you're this comic of, you're aware of it. The fact that you're aware of that.

Is you go like, well, let me make, cause you know, what's good and what feels weird. And yeah. And I, you know, I had a joke where I'm talking about a guy trying to give me popcorn at a show and, and, and it kind of died off at the place that normally dies off. So I was like, okay, I mean, they're with me, but they're like, well, listen, that wasn't, we're not going to go. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to get in the van. Right. You know, like I'll walk up to it. I'll, I'll, I'll see what you're selling. But yeah, now that you're on TV, we'll check the van out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, well, it's great, dude. That's awesome. You're a very funny, deserve it all, uh, earned it all. And it's yeah. The rod, the ride begins, dude. Well, I appreciate it. You know, they told me that you recommended me for JFL, uh, years ago. Well, I'm the only reason you're there. Yeah, exactly. Don't ever forget that. You know? Yeah. Uh,

We, uh, there's also possibly a tornado and you're, you seem nervous about that. Well, I'm fine with it. I grew up in a trailer. Now I live in a house. I feel very safe, but my wife grew up in Canada and they don't have tornadoes. That's true. So she's like, I don't know what this is all about. And the first year we lived in the house in Hermitage, a tornado came through, tore up lots of things. We just had some wind recently that tore up my canopy in the backyard. Yeah. So wind is terrifying to her. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I get that. Hermitage gets, you know, Old Hickory Hermitage is where I grew up. Yeah. And so we get hit. We get hit. Yeah, tornadoes just are drawn to it. Yeah, yeah. Floods, tornadoes. Yeah, yeah. High school's been flooded. High school's been, do you have to say about tornado? Yeah, I grew up in a trailer. My brother's school, all of their countries. Yeah. And we weren't this afraid of wind. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it was a real threat to us back then. But now I look out the back window and the tree is going like this. And I'm like, I don't know what's happening out here. This is Tennessee wind. I grew up in Alabama. You know, it's different. Yeah, we bring the heat. Yeah. Yeah. We're here. We flex a little bit. Well, this week we're going to talk about dinosaurs.

And you know a lot about dinosaurs. Well, I'm into the conversation. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's great. It's a great way to put it. Yeah, I hope you don't believe in them or something. Like that's, you know, we don't know. I've got some thoughts, yeah. All right. Let's don't get ahead of ourselves. It's so fun. Did you guys growing up, were you into dinosaurs, played?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I played, yeah, I loved, I mean, Jurassic Park is my favorite. One of my favorites, Scream and Jurassic Park was one of my favorite movies. I loved it. Like, they got the new one coming out and I know I talk about new movies, but,

But I'm like a hypocrite that I'm also fine with it. If it's my movie that I want to see, I'm like, well, they should do it again. But it's the other one. I think it's supposed to be the final one. I know. That was like kind of, yeah. I love Jurassic Park. There's just no movies like that. Jurassic Park was great. When I was a kid, they had us out digging around outside of the school. They were like, we found out there's dinosaur bones out there. We were digging. We found them. Oh, wow. We was like, this is so great. Was it? Yeah.

Well, I don't believe that they were. It was probably chicken bones that we had for lunch. Yeah, yeah. Just the school. It's a small school that just throws them out there. Yeah, that school's been there for a while. Yeah, yeah.

So, but it was, you know, and I love Jurassic Park. I loved, you know, I love, they started talking about all these different periods of dinosaurs. So then the names changed. Like I was in with the brontosaurus and the stegosaurus, triceratops, brontosaurus. And then they were like, there was a whole different line of them. And then they're telling us multiple meteors came in and destroyed the earth many times. And then these dinosaurs just kept coming back. And I just not sure I can get into it.

Yeah. You're getting way ahead of me here, Dustin. Okay. Sorry. Okay. I was going to try to start off normal. It's like a movie that starts with the final scene. And then it goes five years later, five years earlier. They do a flashback? Yeah. Well, I'm ready to believe that anything I believed as a kid is not true. Yeah. When I was a kid, we studied dinosaurs. We learned that some dinosaurs were so big, they had two brains.

one in their head and one in their butt. Did you guys ever hear that? Wow. That was way back then. That was not true. They've totally negated that. That's crazy. Who told you that? Tennessee Public Schools. Oh, man. I mean, if you Google... This makes your case for even if these dinosaurs would be questioning it, you're like...

Yeah. I mean, that's crazy. They had, if you Google that, they thought they had two brains because they're just too big. They were too big. They're like, well, how's it going to talk to the other one? Yeah. It was like, they were so big, they needed a brain back there to navigate the tail. Contrary to a popular myth, the Stegosaurus did not have a butt brain. Yeah. Wow. That's really in there, huh? You can Google that.

That's what we were learning back in my day. Double dinosaur brain meth. I mean, what? Yeah. I mean, what did y'all think of a giraffe? They were like, well, there's controversy. I mean, your school would be, we don't talk about giraffes because we don't know for sure. But we know for sure brontosaurus had the giraffes.

The old butt brain. Yeah. I've been called a butt brain a few times as a kid. If you see an animal's butt really moving, you're like, it's got a mind of its own. Yeah, it's got a mind of its own. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Good night. It's got a mind of its own right there, man. You can just calm it down. Tail comic. Can't sleep at night. The top part of you is asleep. The bottom is just...

kicking the covers everything's going crazy and you go i just i don't know dude i had set on some sugar and i guess i can't get it well people just come up with these things right and then they go why do you why do you believe that and they go well he's a scientist yeah and then they go oh okay well that that makes sense but we don't still don't know where that comes from yeah did they maybe it was the prostate yeah it was a hole for a giant prostate back there i think it was just probably like

I look at a lot of stuff always like a scientist. No matter what, they're just going to get like, it's a long day. And then they're like, well, how do they move their legs? And the guy's like...

there's another brain down there. And they go, Oh, is there? He goes, yeah, I don't, you know, and he's just like, yeah, I got to get out of here. Like I'm, you know, and then it's just, and then they move on. And then that just gets ran with, I think really rich people go to the scientists and go, they go, how many brains are in there? And the guy's like one. And the guy's like, well, I'll give you a lot of money if you say there's two. And he's like, okay, there's two. Yeah. I want to keep being a scientist. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well,

Well, they lived on every continent and the way they got there, because I think we've talked about this before, used to be one big super continent, Pangea. I saw a Super Bowl commercial. Morgan Freeman was talking about Pangea and it was just one big blob and they all lived there. And then over millions of years, the continent spread out and went apart. But they were all on. I'm not against the Pangea idea.

Yeah. Yeah. It fits pretty good. I don't know if you're asking for things along the way. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. I'm not against it. I like a little heads up if you're on board or not on board. I'm way down with that. Yeah. I'm not against that idea. Yeah. I mean, who knows what's happening? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like it fits. We don't know a lot about the ocean. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. They're always trying to go to space and I'm like, let's try to see what's in the ocean. Yeah. It's right here. Yeah. Maybe don't leave the planet until we figure out what we got going on.

We have just the guy from Titanic. He's the only one trying. James Cameron. Oh, yeah. You're like, can we get someone besides James Cameron down there maybe? Yeah. Could we send a scientist down? Could we send a doctor or something? I don't even know doctor, but I would send a doctor. Marine biologist? Could we get a doctor down there? Okay.

ER doctor. Just everybody. That's the only thing I can think of that's smart. Can we get a doctor to come in? Maybe he roams around down there a little bit. He doesn't do that. Yeah, he's a smart dude. Maybe get a doctor and a lawyer to go down there. Can we just throw them down there? An accountant. Throw them. They talk about some stuff down there.

Now we're going with James Cameron. All right, all right. He made Titanic. I get it. An avatar. The show last night we did, Dusty from the Grim, Dusty's set of other comics. Aren't you a lawyer? And the guy goes, dude, I'm 22. Yeah.

And yeah, I was like, I don't know. I saw that on the internet, I guess, this guy. I was like, you're 22. You look 45. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It looks like a lawyer. He's been through it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how old anyone is. He looks like the lawyer that was defending dinosaurs that they're proven. Like he goes, no, they were real. And you're like, I don't know. All right. Birds are direct descendants of dinosaurs. There's a line of dinosaurs that have king birds. In fact, when I Googled what's the smallest dinosaur ever, it said the hummingbird.

Yeah, that's like annoying. Yeah, I don't buy that at all. Yeah, that's like annoying when you're like, all right, you know what I mean, dude. Yeah, I mean dinosaur. Yeah, I mean dinosaur. And they're like, yeah, but they're related. What happened to the dinosaur? Oh, they turned into birds. That's like we're all kind of related. And so that would be like anybody I see on TV, they're like Prince –

Henry, I'm like, that's my cousin. Oh, good. Yeah. What does he do next? What did he do? I don't know anybody's name, but is it Prince Henry? I think there's one of them. Yeah. Prince Harry? Yeah, Prince Harry. Yeah. I don't know. I'm just trying to think of it crazy. Do you see Meryl Streep? Oh, it's my aunt. What'd she do? Like, just everybody. Because technically, you're like, well, we're all kind of related. And that's what I feel like when they say, well, Hummingbird's a dinosaur. And you're like, well, you're annoying.

I had a guy email me yesterday, and he said, hey, I just found you online. I've been working on my family tree since 1995, and I just found out we're seventh cousins. Yeah. Never met this guy from Kansas. So you're like, listen, I've not made a lot of money. Yeah. If that's what you're going to get to. Yeah. If that's where you're going with this. He's trying to fill in his family tree. So I'm like, seventh cousins. We're probably seventh cousins. No. So when I go to Utah –

they have a family tree center. And like, so Mormons are there. They know everybody's, but you can go there and enter your family tree. We've been doing it. They have it online. It's awesome. And everybody's relate. Like, I mean, you're just do it in the room. You can do it on your phone, but like anybody around me that's related. And I mean, there was two people not related to me. And then there was,

15 that were so you're like only the only two people not related to me like well i guess i want to talk to them how are they not related like yeah everybody else is uh related like it was it's it's everybody's like cousins and walt disney like everybody's got eventually we all got the same kind of there's a way to get back to everybody you know it's interesting yeah yeah

Was it Bush and Obama, distant cousins? I think all the presidents are related. Yeah. Everyone's related eventually, yeah. I mean, somebody, I don't know. I just see things and I guess it's true. Yeah. But I just, the bird being a dinosaur, I just, I don't get how we, because weren't dinosaurs reptiles? Well. And then suddenly they're like, oh, the scales turned into feathers over time. No, now we think all dinosaurs had feathers. Yeah.

Yeah, I was about to say. You've not heard that? Yeah. You've not heard the new theory? No. The scientific advisor to Jurassic Park. There are birds all along. The scientific advisor to Jurassic Park told Steven Spielberg that T-Rex and the Velociraptor had feathers. Oh. So they're like a big, big rooster. Yeah. He was like, I don't care. No beak, though. Yeah.

Yeah, here's what the Velociraptor probably looked like right there. Yeah. It's just a big... And they couldn't fly. So they couldn't fly. Some of them could fly, but not those guys. Yeah, I know. Well, I get that. I'm saying this couldn't... So having feathers is annoying.

Yeah, if you can't fly with them. Like, you can't go up in them. What's the point? It's just like every day is like- Like a big ostrich. Yeah, it looks like you're just going somewhere. You're like, you got a dinner tonight? You're like, nah, it's just how I look every day. Seems like they need to drug test the scientific community. Yeah. Well, T-Rex with feathers seemed even more crazy. Yeah.

That is like science should be more fun where you're like, but we also don't know. Like they should say that every now and again. Just to go, but it could change. We're always looking at like, make it like fun. Scientists debate whether dinosaurs were warm blooded or cold blooded. They now may think they're a mixture of both. They debate in a room. I got a little bit of each blood to go with the two brains. Yeah. One brain gets cold blood. The other gets warm blood. Yeah.

You got to swim like a duck when you put your head down and his butt sticks up in the air. That's how they'd have to swim because the other one could handle it. Yeah. And he just has to, he gives up and breathes. And then he's like, oh, his butt's like freezing. And then he has to go back under. And they get a good ways away. So. Well, what about the triceratops? What did it look like with feathers? Well, let's find out. I don't, I'm just going to do every dinosaur. What would it look like with feathers?

Yeah. See, they haven't got around to drawing that yet. I don't think every dinosaur they can have it. They haven't. Yeah. They're like, well, we can't. Yeah. They go, I don't know. We can't go down this road. Some had feathers. Some had scales. Yeah.

There's a lot going on back there. Something had a mesh. There you go. Here's the truss. It's got a little, a little cock flu out there in the back. It looks like when your, like your, your, your child colors the thing wrong in the coloring book. Yes. Yeah. And it looks like, yeah, it almost looks like you would be like, can we call it over? Yeah. Because the colors would, you know, and then you would be like, golly, I wish you didn't have those enticing feathers. Yeah.

So they lived on Earth for about 165 million years. Oh. And if you compress the time of the dinosaurs from when they started until now into one 365-day year, they started on January 1st and would have ended about the third week of September. Humans would have come along on December 31st. Wow. Yeah.

So what's the point of that? Like just to show how much longer they were on the earth than humans have been. Oh yeah. They act like that's our fault now. Like it's like, right. Everybody complains, you know, like, Hey, we were, we're new here. You're like, we're here though. And they're not. So,

So, like, what do you want me to do? Like, it's like, we're doing what we can. Quit making me feel bad. Like, well, look at us. We're the ones ruining it. They got the earth blown up a hundred times. Yes, several times. Several times. They were getting just destroyed by meteor, like...

They walked around talking about climate change, and they probably went through just all kinds of stuff. So what happened? They were just here for 165 million years, and then a meteor came, and then all of a sudden humans popped up? Is that the idea? That they were like, oh...

Well, we'll try a different kind of species. We come from hummingbirds. Oh, yeah. I think all of a sudden is relative. I think it was a few million years. Well, it seemed like it was just a few months later. Yeah. I mean, according to Brian, he just said it. This is in one year. Yeah, September 21st. They were here for basically nine months, eight months, and then we showed up the last half, and then we're the problem. In fact, the Stegosaurus...

and lived 80 million years before the T-Rex. So the T-Rex is closer to us than it was to the Stegosaurus. So how did the T-Rex just pop up? They never met. They never met. Yeah, we have no idea. Well, Jurassic Park, I think, chose them together. But I guess they remade those dinosaurs. Yeah, they remade them. But the Stegosaurus never even...

Do you think T-Rex Stegosaurus? Is that what it is? I think that's a car. Stegosaurus? Stegosaurus. Stegosaurus. Stegosaurus. Stegosaurus. Why does the T- Don't go to that Stegosaurus. Tyrannosaurus Rex. Yeah. It's like it's got a first name and a last name. Because they started, they go, because it's all kind of like X it ends with and then Tyrannosaurus and then Tyrannosaurus.

And they were like, Tyrannosaurus X, X. And then somebody just goes, well, we split it up. Yeah. And we're getting closer to humans, I guess. Yeah. Building us up for that. It's the Rex family. How you doing? It's my son, Tyrannosaurus. Actually, the T-Rex turned into the human. This is my wife, Melanosaurus. That's what they say. Yeah. And then she starts going, this is my daughter, Susie. Oh, hi, Susie. Susie Rex. Oh, pleasure to meet you. So, yeah.

They became extinct about 65 million years ago. Now, I always heard of asteroid. You're saying meteor. I thought those were the same thing. Oh, is that? Yeah. Like that would be like, oh, yeah, this is where we're going to draw the line in the sand. Now, Dusty, I don't know if I'm buying what you're saying. We always thought it was asteroid. You say meteor. Where do you get off? Yeah. I had no idea those were different things. Borderline doesn't believe in them, but let's dive into the asteroid and meteor. Yeah. Yeah, I thought they were the same thing, too.

But I'm sure there's a difference. Yeah, I think Astrowood's a lot bigger. Yeah. You get what we were saying, though. The idea of it. Well, I also wanted to ask, because you talked about multiple meteors killing them. I thought it was just one event. Well, it seems like that there was a group of them that was here, and then they... What happened to the Stegosaurus?

Yeah, it just went away. How did it go? Did it just get old age? Yeah, just this one guy. Yeah. They said global warming was already happening during that period. Oh, so we got nothing. So we've been worrying about it, so we just think we're at the end of it right now? There's been different periods. Oh, yeah. Some scientists think even if the asteroid hadn't hit, they would have died out. So the stegosaurs had power plants? Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, why don't we blame the dinosaurs if they're not stopping? They weren't thinking about it, and they got it, and now we're dealing with it. Yeah, I've been told it's the cars. Yeah. And the airplanes, but now we're... No, Stegosaurus. I always thought it was like one big hit, and then they were all dead. The asteroid hit. Boom. But what I read was it took over years because like soot and stuff covered the sun. It's a nuclear winter, right? Yeah, nuclear winter, and they died. Well, where was the soot coming from? Well, when it crashed, it like up into the air. Oh, okay. That's a good one.

and stuff like that. So the idea is there's a huge, huge impact, right? Yeah. And then a lot of smoke and dirt and dust and everything goes up and then that... Goes into outer space. No, that goes up in our atmosphere and blocks the sun so plants can't grow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's a nuclear winter. Just gets stuck there. Now, some things lived. It just gets stuck. It can't go any further.

I think it can. But it's like too much. But it just blocks everything out. So like if they just wait it out. Eventually it's gone now. Well, how does a spaceship get out? It goes real fast. It just goes like the smoke. It can't. But a spaceship just. Well, the smoke eventually because it's. But a spaceship goes straight.

Like it's a point and it goes right through it. It just stabs right through it. It just stabs right through it. So now the smoke can get out. That's what they probably got. We've been stabbing through it. It just had to poke a hole in it. Yeah. That was what the moon thing was so important. Yeah. Problem solved. Because it was just like opening a window. Like finally, we got a crack and now the stuff can get out. Yeah.

It eventually got out. And that's the problem with the Amazon guy, Jeff Bezos. His rocket was rounded. That's why he couldn't get out. Well, he only went up. That's like a loose where they go, we went to space and it's like, then they go just kind of high in the sky. Drop back down and then everybody cheered for them. Yeah, they're like, oh, we were in space. So he leaves the astronauts. They're the ones that are way up there. So they say that obviously some things live because-

There's still people here. So the mammals, small mammals, they think lived. They were able to survive because they didn't need as much food and stuff like that. So they eventually became what we are today. They evolved into humans. Yeah. Dinosaurs died off. Now there's a theory that... So we lived through global warming. So we shouldn't even be worried about it because we crushed it that first time. And now...

We're crushing it. In fact, we emerged from global warming. The global warming crisis created us. Created us. So why don't we worship it a little bit? Yeah. Yeah, I think our attitude towards it's wrong, and we should be trying to speed it up. So I have to say, if that had to hit, we probably wouldn't have...

become what we are because the dinosaurs and it's the asteroids supposedly it's so funny to say that is just imagine staying in a room you go and oh that didn't hit we probably didn't the first guy that says it we probably wouldn't be here worried you're like oh yeah do you know that he goes probably yeah yeah I'm a scientist so over millions of years anything's possible yeah you stretch it out long enough you can go hey it took a long time

Yeah. This isn't like tomorrow. It's millions of years. There's a lot of gray in that million. Yeah, there's a lot of like, what about this period? It goes, you were like half one, half the other. That was like 10 years. It was just like you have to use your arms because you have fish legs. You know, they think dolphins over a period of millions of years became land animals.

They went on the land. They were like, nah, I don't like this. And they went back to the water. Wow. That's what they think. That's why they're so close to us. That's why they swim near us. That's why they're so smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why they're smart and why they are always kind of by the shore because they're like, I used to do that. I used to be up there. And they're like-

God, if we would have just stayed, I could have went to that McDonald's right, it's right there. But who knows? Maybe there's a whole bunch of stuff under the ocean the dolphins know about. And they're like, you know, it's better down here. It might be. Same, the weather's probably the same. Yeah. No weather. They go under there. They got a real party going on. No tornadoes. No tornadoes. No global warming. You don't have to worry about hurricanes. You just go down. I mean, are they below? They don't go that low, right?

I think it affects the water a little bit, but no, it's not. I mean, you go, what, 10 feet down, and you're like, hurricane just blows right over you? Yeah. 10 feet. Yeah. You just let it go, shoot on by. You're like, yeah, it's out of the way. Well, the asteroid supposedly hit in Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula. They think that's where it hit. And they said if it had hit it just a little bit earlier or a little bit later, it would have been either in the Pacific Ocean or the Atlantic Ocean. Had Pangea already happened? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Not like we have today, but it already started spreading out where there were oceans.

And if it hit in- It started just growing. The ground started growing. It started spreading out. It started. It goes, there's a mountain. It starts popping. But that would be it comes from the bottom, I guess. The ocean. Yeah. Because the ocean's all land.

Well, it used to be all ocean, I think. Yeah. And then it starts rising up. Yeah. And then the land just came out of the ocean? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Like shake it. All right. So it was just ocean. Yeah. The land emerged. Land emerged. And then-

dinosaurs just started popping up. Just boop, boop, boop, boop. They just started like, yeah. And then they were around for a long time. Longer than us. Yeah, then a meteor came. Six months. Or an asteroid. Asteroid. Bam, bam, bam. And a lot of smoke happened. Crazy. Couldn't get out because no one's gone up. Only the mammals survived. Small mammals. What about the reptiles? We smoked cigarettes because we can handle ash. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, I'm just trying to piece it together. I think we are. I think it is pieced together. Yeah, it seems very scientific, and I just... I mean, I don't know how you don't... I know, I know. We just went through it. Yeah. Well, if it had hit in the Pacific or the Atlantic Ocean just a few minutes either way, it would have probably... Some dinosaurs would have survived, and they would still be flourishing. Now, they think, just like humans have evolved over time with...

got smarter, the dinosaurs would also become like an elephant. In 1982, a scientist for the Canadian Museum of Nature in Ottawa published a paper proposing an intelligent dinosauroid, which might one day have evolved. There's photos of this guy. Of the guy or the dinosaur? Well, he's kind of half human, half dinosaur. Oh, the guy. Yeah.

Oh, you're showing me. I thought you were just showing me a picture of the scientist. Oh, this is like reptilians that people talk about. Yeah. Yeah, that's him. Eventually. No, that's not him. D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R-O-I-D. Yeah, totally. Yeah, reptilians. Yeah, people always talk about that. Yeah. Yeah, that's him. That's what this guy. Any of those. They think eventually dinosaurs would have evolved

Where they would have walked around. Yeah, that looks like an alien. Kind of really stuck in the middle. Probably frustrating life, you know? Yeah. Just to be kind of like, I wish I made a choice. Yeah, I wish I was one or the other. Look at this guy. He's like, I'd like to go in the ocean. If I want my family to breathe underwater, could I go live in water right now? And then, you know, I make Harper live in water, and then Harper's kids will be able to breathe a little more underwater. Like Kevin Costner. Yeah. Yeah.

Waterworld. Yeah, you got a little gill behind his ear. Eventually, you're going to be like... It's going to take a few million years, but yeah. But in a few million years, those Bargetzis, we have to go get everything for y'all when you drop them in a pool because we got a nice little company built out for us because I planned for this. It's a long game. It's a long game. Those dinosaurs wish they played that long game. You got to plan ahead. You got to plan ahead. If you're going to survive global warming. Take to the oceans. I might as well start now.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Just have a fat Bargatze family photo for every generation. How deep until we got in the shallow or in the water. It's a picture of us walking on the beach until finally Uncle Fred was able to have just the top of his head show up. He stayed on there for quite a while. Thanksgiving dinner, have it right down there.

So scientists say humans and dinosaurs were about 65 million years apart as far as if they were here at the same time. However, nearly every ancient civilization has some sort of art depicting giant... Civilization.

Civilian station. Civilian station. Yeah. Every civilian station has art depicting giant reptilian creatures and humans with dinosaurs. Yeah. Now, we didn't find dinosaur bones until the 1800s. So then the question is... We probably weren't looking. Yeah. So all of those civilizations are wrong then is what the scientists are saying. Well, when was the shovel made?

the year before the dinosaur bones were found? I mean, I bet it's the same time period. I would say shovel, like a good shovel. I'm guessing we had some form of a shovel. I'm saying a good shovel. Like what's the difference between a shovel and a spoon really?

What makes a shovel a shovel? Yes. Well, you're right. So a spoon, though, you ain't gonna get no dinosaur bones. When did we get a pretty decent shovel? Like, I bet the 1800s was like, the shovel world blew up. I think a wooden shovel, it's been dated back to approximately 1750 BC. Wow. So 50 years before 1800s. And so... So... Well...

wonky donkey tools. Nailed it. That's what they called them back then. Nailed it. You didn't know which 1800s I'm talking about. But that shovel's dumb. You ain't gonna dig down to find a dinosaur bone.

It's like made the fabrics weird. 1750 BC, were they really that deep, though? Yeah. There's still some time. They were bright. I bet the floor was wet. Yeah, you're still stepping over them. It's been 65 million years, but. Still stepping over them at that point. Well, and the water and the land is still rising, so you're like, every day is like just soggy socks. And look at all these bones. Yeah. Yeah.

They think it's weird that we're like, y'all went and searched them out. They were everywhere. I used to sit on our kitchen table with a T-Rex. It was a stegosaurus. There's some 33,000 figurines, ceramic figurines found in Mexico. A cambaro figures. A-C-A-M-B-A-R-O. And there they are. So if the dinosaurs hadn't been, bones hadn't been found yet, they don't know how

They knew how to make these, these old figurines. Well, we made Spider-Man. It's actually a good point. They had imaginations back then. But they seemed to have such an imagination that they created the thing that we now say existed long before these people would have known about it.

Well, they probably looked it up on the internet. They had their own internet. Well, there is some debate about how old these are. Some say 2500 BC and some say 1969. That's a pretty big spread. They collected those from the moon then. Yeah. I would say 1969. That looks like 1969. There was some drugs involved. Yeah.

2,500 BC, how would they use it? And they're still just that good? Still see the groove? Well, they can't just carbon date it. I mean, that's how they're telling us that things are 165 million years old. But they're like, this could be 750,000 years old or, yeah, last week. Well, they don't want to cut it open and see the rings. Yeah.

Which one would you cut open if you had to? Because one of them, you got to be like, well, it's not going to work. I think I'd cut this guy at the neck right here. Yeah, that's an elephant. I would cut that one. I would cut some of the tail off of one of those. You could cut the tail off of one of the other ones. Is that not a trunk? That one looks like a horse. I would get rid of the horse. Yeah.

I would just say. This one right here. That one right in the middle. I would say, give me the horse. Let's dive into it. If we lose this dumb horse, no one cares. Or the tree stump next to the horse. Maybe that's a. Maybe that could be something. Yeah. I feel like those were made at a school and then just come up with imagination. One guy's like, I know a horse. I just do that. I just think it's funny that we'll doubt these. We go, no, I don't think these are that old. But yeah.

165 million years old, we're like, well, that's got to be true. That's got to be true. Yeah, and an asteroid came. This could be like a little kid in 2500 BC. Can you imagine they come now and you wake them up and they're like, hi. And you're like, hey, what's this? He goes, I don't know, my daughter made it. I stepped on it all the time. It's a dumb toy. And you're like, lots of people worship it now. So...

It's not a big deal, though? He goes, no, I don't know. Like our Walmart. And you go, okay. It's that simple of an answer. She made it at Bible school. Yeah, you're like, all right. Because we have people traveling all over the world to pray to it. But you're saying, you're telling me right now, it's just you got it. You went out to get some hay and you just grabbed it on the way home. He goes, yeah. All right.

The Pauley River in Texas, P-A-U, P-A-L-U-X-Y, became famous for its controversy in the 1930s when they found dinosaur and human footprints side by side. But scientists now say those human footprints were really dinosaur tracks that had just changed over time. Those are the beginnings of the evolution. The feet came first. Yeah. Yeah.

You start evolving from the feet down. Well, your toe. I bet it's like – I bet it all goes, you know, frontwards or backwards. Oh, yeah. So it's like your – you know, it's like your toes, nose, and eventually you're like, golly. And there's a moment – It goes that way? Yeah, it goes that way. And then there's a moment of just like – you're like, you look rough. A lot of back hair. Yeah. I mean, there's just probably 100 years of just like, oh, my goodness. Look at these –

Just some of the ugliest people on earth. Did you not buy those school photos that year? Yeah, you're just like everybody's – everybody's photo still says photo on it. And you're like, yeah, we didn't buy anything back then. If you just catch it from the front, a good straight on, you don't want a profile pic back then. Yeah, no. Yeah. You could have turned around and then got the other half. I like to think it was a thing moving. So –

Cryptozoology is the study of animals whose existence has not been substantiated.

I don't even know what I know what most of those words were. I don't know what the sentence means. It means like the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot. Okay. Yeah. I'm studying those. See? Scientists say that. Did you know what that word meant? Substantiated? Yeah. You know? You know? Now, I could fake through a conversation with it. You know. Yeah, substantiated. Y'all say it all the time. Christmas and stuff. I took a cryptozoology class in college.

college oh golly here we go here we go dogecoin fortune favors the brave fortune favors the brave what'd y'all study now we just talked about the pseudoscience and how to i don't know i feel like i'm not a good advocate because you just don't y'all just use enough words then you you really go it's just the blah blah pseudoscience what do you mean by that

I mean, you learn how to tell if something's nonsense or not. You know? How do you do it? Yeah. What's the line, Draw? Because the line right here is that a bunch of asteroids hit this earth and killed all these dinosaurs. So where's the line where you go, that's, don't be ridiculous. Well, when the land grew. Yeah.

Yeah. When the land grew. I think it's just what do we have evidence for or what do we not have evidence for? And there's a lot more evidence for dinosaurs than, say, Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. Well, Bigfoot hides their bodies. That's why. How was the Loch Ness not a dinosaur, though?

It might be. Some people would make that argument. Well, I was about to get into that. It's a prehistoric creature that just kind of hung around. Yeah. Because it was in the water. Yeah. Good water. 10 feet down. It was the one that had the foresight to stay in the water. Yeah. That day he goes, I'm going in. Anybody? And everybody goes, that's the dumbest. He goes. The velociraptor is like, no, dude. He turns around one last time. One last chance, guys. One more chance. You with me?

I can take one more of you in here, and then I think it's too crowded otherwise. All right, we're going. And the others are like, I'll just turn into birds. Yeah. We'll soar through this thing. They were over there too busy. They go, I think the new world is up. Look, we have feathers. So eventually we're going to go up. But he knew. Yeah, birds, dolphins, or humans. That was the- That was your choice. That's how you switch it up.

There was a scientist in Hong Kong in 1935 that was in a pharmacy and found an unusually large primate molar for sale. And he was asked about it and they started doing some research. It's now a species called Gigantopithecus, I guess. A large hairy animal, much like an orangutan, but was 10 feet tall and weighed 1,200 pounds.

And they found bones from this. And they think, Bigfoot hunters think that that's what Bigfoot is. Yeah. A hairy creature that may still live. So we just built a whole thing around a tooth. Yeah. Well, I think they found more bones after that started. Look at this big old tooth. I bet I know what this is. Yeah, I understand if you see one of these in the wild, you think that's Bigfoot. You know, it looks exactly like.

What we think of Bigfoot being. Yeah, why is that? That would be Bigfoot. Yeah, we would just call that Bigfoot. Yeah, and wait, that thing, it used to be out there. It's not out there no more? Mm-hmm. Okay. Went extinct. Yeah. That's what they say. How do they know this stuff goes extinct? Do they just go, all right, I've looked everywhere? Stop running into them. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't they just discover the gorilla? How would you go? In the early 1900s? Yeah, we talked about that on here. Yeah, did we? One of the gorillas. I barely listened. The Discovery episode. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, like early, like the 60s. They just found the gorilla, but they're like, these other things are not real. Yeah. Yeah, it is funny because there's a moment if someone said, I think there's gorillas, they would go, you're a lunatic. Until pretty recently. Yeah, they would burn you. And then you're like, I told you.

They're like, we already started burning, so we're not going to stop. But we won't burn anymore past you. But they probably didn't call it a gorilla. And so then they were like, oh, no, it wasn't that thing we were talking about. This is a gorilla. Yeah. Well, I think it was one type of, like the lowland gorilla or something. The lowland? Lowland. Oh. Sorry.

Well, Marco Polo, the famous explorer. Polo. He's only known for that game. Isn't that crazy? I thought that was two people. I did think it was two people. I thought it was two. Marco Polo. You thought Marco and Polo were two different dudes? Yeah. Yeah.

Lewis and Clark, Marco and Polo. I don't know. I think I might have too. I don't think I've heard it. Marco, Polo. They're just yelling each other's names back to each other? Yeah. That's the game? That's how they explore. I guess that makes as much sense as saying the first name and the last. Well, they never found each other. That's the point of the game. One of them got out of the water. And that's against the rules. Yeah.

That's all. What is... All right, what's Marco? He was the explorer. Why is he just a game now that kids play? Did he get lost in the water? Maybe. No, I don't know where the game came from, but he was trying to find a new route to trade spices. The Silk Road. Yeah. This is what he did. I think we talked about him. Yeah, you're like the... He developed this path here. That's like the least fun. Somebody goes, oh, Marco Polo, that game. You go, no, he's like the guy that made the Silk Road. And you're like...

Like a dinosaur sound. He's like, I got all these spices and nobody to buy them. I want to know why the game is called that. I'll look that up. While you're looking that up, I'll tell you why I mentioned him. He talked about on his journey, he kept journals, and he talked about giant sea creatures that he encountered along the way that he had to go around. Oh, like in the water? Yeah. It would be a whale.

Well, the way he described them were like the Loch Ness Monster. Yeah. Something like that. Had a long neck. Yeah. Came out. He was big bodied. Big boned. He's a big bone gal. Two brains. Two egos. Must have had two, three, four brains. Now, keep in mind, we talked about Columbus thought that mermaids were, what, manatees? Yeah, he thought manatees were mermaids. Yeah, manatees were big. Columbus. Yeah.

Some big old ladies. He's like, I've been out here too long. He wrote in his diary, he was like, they're not as feminine as everyone said they were. They're a little more masculine than I'd like. They got a mustache too, right? But you got to do what you got to do. You know, when in Rome.

So here's where they think the Marco Polo game came from is one origin story. This is kind of the legend of it is that while traveling to China one time, he got separated from his family and they started yelling out. They were trying to Marco and he just yelled back Polo and that's it. That's how the game happened. It seems like a confusing way to communicate. Yeah. I mean, Dusty. Slay. I don't know. You got a name for it. Like I don't. Nate. Fagate. And you're like, oh, yeah.

Yeah. That's, I mean, that's, how is that game? That's so fun. There's no way the game came from that. He's like, so we did that as a family. And then I told it on my podcast and everybody started playing it. I wrote it down in my journal. I said, we should play a game. Marco Polo. How boring was it when they came up with that game? That was like the fun game. That was the game. We still play it now.

I played this today. It was lunch break. Yeah. I play it every day. The Marco Polo game is a great way for kids to build communication skills. They yell two words at each other. Yeah. That's the communication skills. You're learning how to converse at a high level, dude. By going, say the two words back and forth. I guess it Marco Polo. That doesn't make sense.

And you go, the kid's out there learning. He's going to be one of those brain boys. Children must also learn how to keep their frustrations in check while trying to catch another player without the benefit of seeing them. You're learning a lot. It's a great game, dude. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, yeah. I'm fine with it. I like it. Is that it? You're out of stuff? No, no, no. I'm getting close. The Bible mentions some creatures that could be considered dinosaurs. Leviathan was mentioned.

A large, fast-moving serpent, the Leviathan, called a sea monster in the Bible. Behemoth, Book of Job. God talked about a behemoth at...

much like a dinosaur. And some people think it, he was describing a hippo, but he talked about his giant tail. So they were like, well, hippos don't have giant tails. Job described it. Well, elephants too, tiny tails. Yeah. I think God was speaking to Job. Tiny tails. Look at this behemoth. He,

It's like God just said that to you. He goes, Joe, look at this over here. He made everything. And God just goes, Joe, come here. Come here. Now look around the corner. He goes, what is that? He doesn't know. That is a thing. Look at that. It's a big hemoth. You know what I mean? And then Job's like, I think it's a hippo.

And he goes, no. I think I would know, if anybody. It says he made his tail stiff like a cedar, like a cedar tree. So I don't think that would be a hippo. Dusty, any thoughts on this? I agree with it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's like, yeah, it says a tail like a cedar. And then an elephant has a tail like a...

Like a pig. Yeah, like a pig, like a small. No, they don't have a pigtail. They have a. Yeah, it's like. It dangles. Yeah, it's not like a cedar, though. No. I never, I don't go, man, look at that cedar tree. You think about like a dog when you cut its tail off. Yeah. And it's a little nub, like a snout. Yeah, like a little pit bull thing. Like a snout. Yeah. Yeah, pit bull. Yeah. Gets a little. A little. Just. Little wiggles. Just enough to let you know I'm still a dog. Like a phantom tail. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I'm into it. There's some celebrities that have come out. There's also a dragon in the Bible. I don't know if you're getting to that later, but I don't know where that is. Don't jump ahead, Brian. Are we getting there? Is that the Apocrypha? No, regular Bible. You got to read the King James. There's a dragon up in there. That's where, okay. Yeah. What's it say about it?

Well, it just says it's out there. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then the Chinese Zodiac, they have all these animals, all real animals, and then a dragon. Yeah. And all these cultures love a dragon. Yeah. Why do they love a dragon? Yeah. If it just made up. Unless there was a dragon. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. And everybody's like, oh, that's crazy. But we believe that a dinosaur turned into a hummingbird. Yeah. But a dragon, that's crazy, dude. Get out of here. We believe that dolphins came out of the water, became humans, and then said, nah. Nah.

Only Aaron believes that. They become humans. Yeah, they were out looking up. They started driving. They had trouble with it. They drove with both feet. They go, this isn't for us. And then the dolphin family started just like, they all moved to the beach. Then the next generation lived way steep in the water, and they worked their way back into just finally. And then when dolphin goes, there's always the first one that goes. Yeah.

I'm back. Yeah, this land stuff's not for me, man. Wouldn't there have to be a first one? There's got to be one that's like when it goes out to land and back, there has to be one that was like

He, you know, it's like, he's like, I don't know. I just do better underwater. Like he's, you know, he's like, everybody else is like, you sure you don't want to be up here with us? You know, it's a wife going, I mean, we got invited to this dinner. It's just, it's up there on the sand. And he goes, I don't, I don't think I'm them anymore. I think I'm, I'm supposed to be here. I don't fit in.

You know? Yeah, I'll come see them. You know, when they're in the boats, I'll come up next to them. Tell them sick. Yeah, yeah. I'll follow them. I don't want to mess around with them. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's the same with the evolution of man. From chimps to heaps, somewhere along the way had to be the first one that's

That kind of clicked. You know what? I'd like to walk more upright. Yeah. I'd like to get into that a little more. Or it's the ones that were walking a little more upright, they had a competitive advantage over the others. And then those were the ones that got to breed, and then those traits began to express themselves over time. I don't know about the competitive edge, though. I mean, have you ever fought a monkey? No.

Yeah. I mean, I've not, but I've seen people fight monkeys. You've seen people fight monkeys? Well, on the internet. Okay. We'll eat your face and your hands right up. You don't think we have a competitive advantage over monkeys? Well, just the pure travel aspect of it. We can fly in planes. I know. We're killing it. Technology-wise, we're doing well. Yeah. Well, there you go. But if it's just you and a monkey in this room...

I don't know. I bet there was people. No, yeah. I agree with you. I definitely agree. You don't want to walk up on a monkey and then be alone and you're like, this is no good. Yeah. I understand that. But I wonder if the families would be like the crooked backs or looking at the straight backs and they're like, oh, God, look who's coming in. He hits his head on the top of the door on purpose. Oh, sorry, my fault. Been standing up straight too long and you're like, oh.

Yeah, maybe that's what caused the dolphins to go back in the water. They were like, it's skidding. How high are we going to go? Yeah, these people have changed. Yeah.

There was a couple of celebrities that have come out recently. Well, celebrities may be a stretch. Professional athletes. How would you say celebrities? I was trying to build it up. Then I was like, well, I'm about to tell you who they are. So I don't know why I'm going to... J.J. Reddick, which I think we've talked about before, on his podcast, he said the word dinosaur didn't exist until 1842. Then some guy comes up with the word dinosaur. Then 15 to 20 years later, after he comes up, now we're finding all these fossils that

He's like, humans have been here for 10,000 years. And now all of a sudden we're just finding all this stuff as soon as a guy comes up with it. He's like, it just doesn't make sense to me. I think it is funny though. Like a guy you're like, well, you play basketball and stuff and you're on a podcast now. So I wouldn't worry too much about it. Like there's a mix of that. Like where you go, yeah, you know, it's like, well, I just don't. I mean, I like that he doesn't, but it's just, it is when you really think of this and you're like, well, I just don't get it. You're like,

Yeah, I don't think you're looking into it either. Like, I think you're just, like, you're this breeze by subject is, you know. Wouldn't you think so? Like, sometimes it's like you're not really diving into it to really get the real answers. I have been in a museum. Yeah. And then you'll see a dinosaur, like, built. And then it'll be like, we found this bone. Yeah. And then, like, the rest they made. Yeah. And they were like, we found this big femur. Yeah.

And we were like, I bet it looked like this. William Hayes, NFL football player, said, I don't believe in dinosaurs existing, not even a little bit. With these bones, it's crazy because man has never seen a dinosaur, but we know exactly how to put these bones together. We know where every single rib goes. I believe there's more of a chance you'll find a mermaid than you will a dinosaur because we find different species in the water all the time. But if you know how to build your body, I mean, it's kind of the same way. Maybe they're not built like, maybe we're doing it wrong.

What if we were like in the dinosaur body? I know, but we, we built the dinosaur, like our body. And then they come back and they're like, what are you doing? And their brain, they grabbed the brain, put it in the butt and they go, there's nothing up there. His brain was always down here. This was most of the works being done. Yeah. And then they're like all this time. They're like, it was reptiles. And now they're like, you know what? I bet they had feathers. Yeah. That's where it's like, you're going to, you're going to switch. That's pretty, that's a pretty big switch. Do you think dinosaurs were on the ark?

I mean, you know, I mean, there's a theory, right, that there's some reptiles out there that never stop growing as long as they're alive, right? So if the flood happened and things live longer prior to, they would have just got real big. So you would just take small dinosaurs.

Like an alligator. You ever see these big alligators on the golf course they find in Florida? I mean, that's like a dinosaur. Yeah. Yes. That's what you think of a dinosaur. That's what you think of a dinosaur. Yeah. They used to have feathers. Yeah, right. Alligators used to have feathers. And they couldn't fly, so they got rid of them. Yeah. So Noah just grabbed the alligators and was like, these probably won't grow. Right. He's like, I'll just take some small ones. We'll only be on there for a year or so. Yeah.

I think I saw one of those before. I had a Sunday school teacher growing up. I think it was our preacher who said he thought that God put dinosaur bones here to test our faith, to confuse us. I don't believe that. So you believe they were real?

Yeah, I mean, I believe there was something out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But... Well, it's like everything is, but you're just like, yeah, it all changes. You learn more and more and more and more. Yeah, I'm just like, it gets me when they're like, 165 million years ago, we know this happened. But then we find these little figurines and they're like, we don't know. They could have been...

built last week. We don't know how old they are. It's like, well, why not? You know what I mean? Let's crack one open. Let's give it a check. Maybe it's because it's built out of rock or something like that. You're saying because they could figure out bones? Because they can find bones. Yeah. Yeah. But you're like, you can't tell me when these things were built? Yeah. They're like, it could be any time, man. 84? Yeah.

Any of the 84s. To 200,000. Yeah, 84 BC, 184. I would just go any of the 84s. Well, I like this. This feels good right here. This feels like a big reveal. Well, our intern Cole. Unabomber came and he brought his manifesto. So you're like, you think they're real, huh? Well, let me show you a little something here, bud. Come on out, animals and scandals. So Cole.

Cole, our intern, brought these over. And these are some dinosaur artifacts, I guess. It's funny because he definitely doesn't believe in dinosaurs. That's why he has so much hard time at school. He goes, yeah, right. And during his dinosaur class, he walked around the other table and goes, give me a break. Cole, could you sit down, please? Trial bike.

It's 300 million years old. I wouldn't think you would just put it in a box, but I guess there's plenty of these. Morocco, Africa. Wow, 300 million years old, huh? Where did he get these? It really takes you back. I don't know. He just has these? Stole them, I guess. It looks like a, yeah, a bug. Yeah. Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that in my dad's pool. Yeah. I stepped on one. Yeah.

I mean, 300 million years old, it is crazy to be like, how am I touching it? Yeah, that's a good rock. Yeah. I would build a house out of that kind of stuff. Yeah, why would they not build houses out of, they should just go, we should use this. I think they are building it out of- Out of rock? Out of stone and stuff. Are we allowed to touch these or is this, what's it called? It's glue dipping. Oh, man. Trilobite nose, eyes, mouth.

This is terrible handwriting here. This is only cool. This is $20? We're selling this for $20? This one looks like a rock. If you stared at this one

For a long time, I would wait for the moment someone goes, hey, that's a regular rock. Someone put it up there as a joke. And that's what I think. You'd go, oh, okay, sorry. That's a limestone. Oh, I thought, yeah. You would be like, I guess I see it there. And then someone goes, give it, that's a regular rock. That's not a, that doesn't look like, that doesn't have any, I can't see it. I picked up several of these yesterday. It is a fern fossil found in Pennsylvania, dated 320 million years. Yeah. Hmm.

How do they do that? Carbon dating? No real age on this one. They count the lines. You just needed one more to put in the box and get that in his yard? That is a rock. I mean, I truly believe Cole just put a regular rock in here. Just to mess with us? He's testing our faith. And Cole. You got a piece of petrified wood here from Arizona. You want to guess how old this is?

150 million years old. Wow. That's some good wood, man. That is some solid wood. Yeah, this is cool. That is good wood. Oh, it's petrified. It's really afraid. Yeah, petrified. That's what happens when you get real scared. Freeze up.

There's, like we said, one more Jurassic Park coming out. And then scientists think someday maybe they could recreate the dinosaurs. I hope so. Not just like having Jurassic Park where they got sat from a tree, but they can... You know, we talked about the woolly mammoth. They think they can do that now. Yeah. But what did you do? Did you get a T-Rex and just throw them out in the Yosemite Park? And now everybody's got to deal with that? Well, that was my question. Do you guys think if dinosaurs just roam free today, we could...

Stop them? We'd have to put them in a controlled environment, dude. We can't just let them loose. Well, how would we do that even? We have these nature preserves all over the country. How do we catch them? What do you mean catch them? Well, you're putting them, so you're making them, and then you just put them in there. Yeah, we drop them off. Well, I'm saying if they got loose. So you put them in a cage?

In a nature preserve? Oh, some kind of fenced-in area. For a T-Rex? What kind of fence are you going to get for... Like Jurassic Park. Some kind of electrified fence, dude. And we'll shock them if they try to jump it. That didn't work out in Jurassic Park, though. Well, we've advanced so much since then. It was 93. Well, this picture that you got here... But they're still getting out in 2021. That's their 22. That's where the movie's going. Maybe we could bring them back mid-transition. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what I'd like. This is from an Animorphs book, I'm pretty sure. I'd like to see the middle guy in the overalls. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, this guy right here? Yeah, yeah. In the overalls, you know what I mean? He's a farmhand and...

Like he's still like that. That looks like his, uh, he'd get his hand me down close and he goes, no, he's my brother used to wear all these. That's where the, that's where I was. That's why I don't. He goes, why are your sleeves so big? My older brother, he had feathers. And so they had to make the sleeves big and I get all his hand me downs, you know? And the other guy's like, well, my, he goes, yeah, I got holes in my back. Cause he had, he had triangles coming all up down his back.

So now, so when I put this shirt on, I'm always a little chilly. Older brother, you know. Can you take that to Goodwill? Yeah. And the T-Rex, he just, they were like, he just, he died off. There was no transition. No, I guess he came to the, boy, T-Rex would have probably become the Velociraptor because they look alike. Oh, yeah.

And then the Voss rapper came, that teenage boy. What's the hawk there? That just kind of flew in. Just a hawk. It got stuck. Yeah, it kind of flew into the pig. Did you ever read any of the Animorphs books? Oh, yeah, a few times.

So the Animorphs books is these kids develop the ability to transform into animals, animals that they've touched. Yeah. And they could only remain those animals for a certain amount of time. One of the characters, I know nobody cares, but one of the characters in the book stayed a hawk or an eagle too long. And he just, now he's just, that's what he is full time. He waited too long. Yeah. So he can't. Right now he's still an eagle. He's still an eagle as we speak. Yeah. And he waited too long to transform back. Wow. Yeah.

So that's probably who that is. My guess. I haven't read the books in a while, but that's who I think it is. Can you imagine what if you were in that mid-transformation and then you come back and you're like, you're the velociraptor dinosaur and then you've missed two and now it's that kid and you're going, what are y'all doing? And he goes, this is what everybody's doing now. He goes...

Word was hot. He just went to the wrong side of the island. He got lost over there and he comes back. No one told me about this. We're going to come with something else. Why does everybody have to change? That is interesting too. Why does everybody change versus some? What do you mean?

I guess because you're saying the smarter ones then breed and the other ones die off. And then now there's this. Yeah. It's natural selections. Whatever gives you a competitive advantage in terms of breeding over time, then those characteristics will play out over time. Then why am I still here? Yeah. You're the last. Yeah.

The last link. That means to present yourself as evidence against evolution. I'm the biggest proof against evolution. Well, you're the one that's kind of on the fence. The stuff you've learned growing up, you're very much just on the line. The two brains. I would say you're the proof of it. You'd go, yeah, yeah. You're going, he's making progress. Have you ever met Bates? Yeah.

Hey, guys, I don't believe in evolution. Let me introduce you to a guy. You remember Brian Bates? I'll change your mind real quick on that.

Well, that didn't go quite like I expected, but it was fun. What did you expect? I thought we would talk a little bit more science and then we'd eventually... What's science? Do you have stuff? No, no. I mean, it just moved at a faster pace than maybe I was... Yeah, I thought that was very science-y. Yeah. I felt... Yeah, I mean... We talked about it and made fun of science the whole time. Yeah. Pseudoscience. Who knows? I guess it's up to your interpretation. Whatever you find ridiculous could be...

Pseudoscience, right? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It was fun. But I did learn something, though. I learned that the hummingbird is a dinosaur. Is a T-Rex. And that's pretty interesting to me. I don't think they'd be invited to the fame reunion of the T-Rex. Yeah. But I think they would. Seventh cousins. Yeah, it would be like, are we supposed to be married or not? I think the pterodactyl is the dragon. Yeah. That's what I think. Pterodactyl is not a dinosaur. I learned that. Oh. Yeah.

Is it not? How do you hold back on that information? Yeah, yeah. What was it? A bird, I guess. They're just switching that up on us, huh? We don't know, dude. All the dinosaurs turned into birds. Turns out this one was a bird the whole time. There has to be something in science that's just wrong because the guy was like, I'm just not going to believe in it. Like that, like Terri after one day, he goes in and goes, I just found out last night.

Couldn't sleep. Went in the other living room, trying to be quiet. Pterodactyl's a bird, not a dinosaur. Long story short. Well, you look that up to verify that that's true. But if the other dinosaurs had feathers, then aren't they all birds? Yeah. All right. Maybe it wasn't a bird, but already wasn't a dinosaur. Neither birds nor bats.

Pterodactyls were their reptiles, close cousins of dinosaurs who evolved on a separate branch of the reptile tree. Why does it say pterosaur? I think that this is the general term that includes pterodactyls. That's why they kept changing the names. Yeah. Oh, it's a close cousin of the dinosaurs. They were the first animals after insects to evolve powered flight, not just leaping or gliding, but flapping their wings to generate lift and travel through the air. So they were really killing it. Yeah. That's a dragon. That's a dragon.

I could be them. Like, that's if I could start living in the water. You could be. Someone had to start that for those guys. There's some great, great, great grandfather that they should be like, we know how to fly because of him. You know, people get hung up on the fire breathing thing, but there's an insect that creates a little fire spark that's alive right now. Oh, really? Yeah. It's a...

Yeah, there you go. It's good to have for needle light. Yeah, one of these. Yeah, look at that guy. Oh, wow. A bombard, a beetle. It's a beetle that can breathe fire. That's pretty crazy. I think the great thing is the fact that, Dusty, you're here.

To say, you're basically going like, hey, I don't believe in dinosaurs, but I am going to sell the dragon thing pretty hard. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in on the dragon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in on the dragon. The dinosaurs is like, let's talk about the dinosaurs, but there's no way there wasn't a dragon. Right, right. So- I'm in for the dinosaurs, but I just, I do think dinosaurs and humans live together. Yeah. But people are like, oh, they came along into the year and-

I think they were all together at the same time. I think there was one human like, all right, we're good. And when they all died, he goes, come on. And then a bunch of humans ran out. Come on out, guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, we've been hiding in caves waiting on these things to die. Now they're dead. Let's have a party. Let's start our own little global war. It's very cloudy today. You're like, eventually it'll clear up. Yeah. Once we put a rocket through that thing, it'll get right out of there. It folks it and you saw everything just zoop out and you go,

It's a beautiful day today. 1969. Didn't we go to the moon then? We went through the atmosphere. All the smoke came out. We found the toy dinosaurs. It was a big year. It was a big year. Charles Manson killed a bunch of people and it was- Look at the weather. Pre-1969, I bet weather was like, it's like Seattle every day. Yeah. And then we go up there. Boom. Everybody moves to California. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Well, we solved it. Solved it. We did it. I don't know when this is coming out, but it's DustySlay.com. Is that yours? DustySlay.com, yeah. Go check it out. Go see him. He's starting to blow up. People are going to see him.

Yeah. Have you ever wrote a new hour? Yeah. I mean, well, you know, I did some classics on the Netflix half hour. So I got, yeah, you come see me. I got a whole new hour. That's good. I'll still be saying we're having a good time, but other than that, it's different. Yeah. And I'll be waving.

What if someone goes, he did about 30 of the same jokes and it's all saying we're having a good time? And you're like, no, no. Well, I'm ready for that to happen. It looks like my internet is, my website's moving slow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There it is. Look at all these dates, man. Yeah. Exciting. Yeah, a bunch of stuff. So, duskyslay.com.

Yeah, go check it out. Yeah, go check it out. It's going to be hot. Yeah. I have makeup on in that picture. Wide open. Wide open. We'll pitch again. Wise guys, April 15th and 16th. Yeah, right. Go head on in that. I don't know when this comes out exactly, so I can't think of what else.

St. Louis Helium, Indianapolis Helium, Cap City and Austin. I got a lot of stuff coming up. Yeah. Come see me. I'm not saying to promote it because it's this weekend, but I'm doing a marriage conference in Orlando. Oh, really? And the name of it is...

What's the phrase for butter? I can't believe it's not butter? Yeah. I can't believe it's not better. Yeah. Playing off like a marriage, whatever. I didn't know that. Oh, man. So the poster is just comedian Brian Bates, I can't believe it's not better. Yeah. Wow. And I'm like, what?

You asked me to do it, but that's just the name of the conference. Well, that's a bad name for the conference and the conference show. You have to do all marriage stuff? I like your just website showed up. I can't believe it's not better. Come in, comedian Brian Bates. I can't believe it's not better. Just his BrianBates.com shows up.

I like that name for a comedy show, actually. Not for a marriage. It's like, have you not lived life before? Related search, wife Ruth. People are looking into it. Go to his net worth. Look at the number two. Number two is he had a stroke. Go to his net worth. See what his net worth is. Did you have a stroke? No, we think he did. Net worth 1.5 million. That's right. Wow. This is big money. There you go.

Is that your real birthday? Well, that's not right, but the net worth is. Yeah. 1.5 mil, huh? Yeah, dude. He's killing it. I don't need this podcast, guys. I just do it for fun. He's killing it. Oh, that one says 1 mil. Estimated 1 to 10 million. Wow. I'm so accurate. Yeah. Could work, dude. Give or take. Give or take.

under 700 000 oh yeah it is definitely that's that is accurate it is under 700 000 oh my god they have really specific information on here before you had to undergo surgery for an unrevealed health issue oh i've i've revealed it what was it i've ruptured my appendix oh yeah yeah and it was gross but did you keep it under the wraps for a little bit

no no i was talking about it right away yeah i was gonna say that pray for me i'm dying in here yeah yeah get me out of here yeah what's yours aaron under 700 000 i like that they phrase it like that because that's true but it looks better when they do it like that no there's an aaron weber that created sonic the hedgehog oh oh that's not you so that's probably who they're talking about here spelled a little wrong

He's worth one to five million. Yeah, you're going to flash that up with that guy telling you your seventh cousin. Yeah. All right. That's fun. That's fun. Mine's $100 million, so don't worry about it. It's going to be real. All right. Thank you, guys. Go follow everybody. We love you, as always. Thank you. See you next time. Bye.

Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetze, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.