#90 Conspiracy Theories ft. Dusty Slay
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Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I am Nate Bargetzi, and I'm here with Brian Bates and Aaron Weber. Welcome. Welcome, everybody. Welcome. Hello, folks, again. I was thinking, you know, it's funny to think like, well, I'm probably not...

Let's talk about ads. But... Just trash. Yeah. No, no, I don't make fun of the ads. The ads we read is like stuff that like, you know, how we either use or used indeed. Like, that's a big main thing. But people think like, don't listen. Like, you know, if they complain about ads and podcasts and you're like, dude, if you like...

We listened to radio, dude. It was just ads. Like TV is just ads. Like it was like, if you're older, you're like, what are you taught? Like if you could be delivered the ads, like the way you can in a podcast and all stuff, you would be like, at my age, you're like, that's unbelievable. Yeah. And it's crazy.

And like, so it is always, it's funny to think we, like Sirius XM was supposed to be that. The whole point of that was to be no ads. They're all ads. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. There are a ton of ads. Yep. And it does, I never understood that because it's like, you're like, well, you're paying for it. It'd be like if Netflix started doing ads.

And you're like, oh, I thought the point of this was. Some of the Hulu, they use ads, man. Yeah, I mean, movies now, when you go to the movie theater, there's more and more ads in front. That was never a thing before. Just trailers, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, well, Hulu, even if you pay, they still show you an ad? You can pay for no ads. But yeah, the base plan. Well, yeah, the base plan I get. Yeah, that's the system. Like YouTube is like you can pay for no ads. That's what I mean, though. It's like if you pay for no ads, then you get no ads. But Sirius, the whole point of it was there was going to be no ads. They don't have to. There's a subscription. That was the whole point of it.

I thought, I think, when it came out. That's how I remember it. Howard Stern went over there and they, you know. No ads. Yeah. And then it's like, well, we still got to do something. You know, and you're like. Come on. We got to do a couple. Make some more money somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. Ethan Anderson. Last ad we ever do. Ethan Anderson. Gentlemen, I've been trying to catch up on the podcast for the past couple months after discovering it.

Like, I just, when I read something, I can make it be like it's about to be over. And there's, you know, I've been trying to catch up on podcasts for the past couple months after discovering it.

After discovering it. Yeah, like it's starting another sentence. My rhythm, I really bail out on this rhythm. I start to, like, I should be like, I've been trying to catch up on the podcast for the past couple months after discovering it. Like that. And I'm like, I've been trying to catch up on the podcast for the past couple months after discovering it.

Just want to check into the latest episode to see how much the show has changed. Turns out pretty much everything is the same from the beginning. Nate is still barely able to speak. Beekeeper is still worried. Naren is still the grill master. Keep up the fantastic, uplifting content. God bless. There we go. There you go. Zero character development. We are what we are.

Amber Cunningham. Hi, guys. I'm a teacher from Alabama. I listen to your podcast on the commute to school each morning. Your podcast is great because I no longer have to plan lessons. I now just teach whatever is on the podcast. By the way, I'm supposed to teach landforms next month. It would be really great if you could do a podcast on that. Big fan. Keep up the great work. What's landforms?

It's like canyons, mountains. Plateaus. Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, we could do that. You might not want to teach. What is this episode? It's going to be conspiracy theories. This is a conspiracy theory. Yeah. Maybe don't teach this one. Good luck with this one, Amber. Let them know. That's what Amber should do. That'd be great. If she goes in that day and she goes, did we not land on the moon?

Welcome Dusty Slade. Dusty comes in. Hey, kids. I'm not buying a lot of stuff that's in this room. Yeah. He goes, we're all having fun. He goes, this globe you got right here. He goes, you think that's it? All right, we're having a little fun. Well, Middle Earth, we'll tell you. Yeah, I don't know about all that.

Lindsey Hansen. I took my son to school for basketball camp and realized I had forgotten my payment. I told him I'd go find some money in the car. I got in and started rummaging all over for cash. Couldn't find any, so I went back to tell my son to go to camp, and I'll bring the money later. Went back out to the car and started searching some more. The more I searched, the more clues I saw that something was not right. There was snorkeling gear in the back seat, an air freshener I'd never seen, snacks that were not mine. Then I panicked.

that it looked like I was trying to rob them. I got out.

Looked around to make sure no one saw. I'd gotten into this car, this other car, two times with a mission to find as much cash as possible. So glad I didn't find any. Man, that's very funny. That's hilarious. Yeah. How much cash do you keep loose in a car, Lindsey? Like even in your own car? Yeah. Are you like, to pay for a basketball, I mean, how much is a basketball camp? 40, 60 bucks? Yeah, at least. And you're like, all right, I'll go find some cash in the car. I got 60 bucks of cash, of loose cash. Yeah.

Well, you need to get your own car situation settled. How much is $120? I run to the car. I go find some loose cash. Just under the seat? Just under the seat. I found $500. That's how much money the Hanson family has. There's two grand under my... I just don't want to get it. I usually just, with a vacuum, I clean it up. What do I care? Yeah.

Caitlin Blanchard. We know the Blanchard family. Oh, the Blanchard family is back for more trouble. You talk about comedians who don't like their audience. This may be a stupid question, but how can you tell? I'm a huge, if you don't know, you're the audience they hate. I'm a huge stand-up fan. I've seen many comedians over the years, and I don't know what I've ever experienced to show where the comedian was clearly unhappy to be there. Is it obvious? Is the comedian simply being rude and angry with the audience?

Sometimes that's the comedian's thing, so I wouldn't necessarily pick up on it. Just curious what the experience would be like. You know, there's no way... I don't think you would know it being there. That's the job of a comedian. They do love telling jokes. Maybe if you had some old catchphrases from a show and people were still yelling them out. Yeah, it was like...

I don't want to say even the office. Dwight, I remember Dwight. What's his name? Rainn Wilson. Rainn Wilson. They asked him once about people coming up. On Fallon, I think. Yeah, on Fallon or Conan. Yeah. And he was like he didn't like it, like in whatever. And it's like that kind of thing where it's like does he hate the people that watch The Office? No. Are they tired of people? Then probably. Mm-hmm.

I don't think they're like in the weird way you want to be like, well, you should still be appreciative of it. Try to remind yourself to keep being appreciative. Yeah. I don't know if there's a way. I don't know if you wouldn't. I don't know if there's a way to know. I mean, I don't want to say who I think, but it's, you know, I just, yeah, if they, I think some people don't want to be their audience, like their audience that comes out to see them. They're like, I don't want to,

They don't realize they are that. Yeah. And they don't want to be that. And so when they look out there at the crowd, they're like, I don't want to be this. And this is what I am. And so they're like, I'm better than this. And I think, but that's what pays the bills and that's where you make money. So I'll keep writing for this, but just I know that I'm not this. That's how I look at it. So I don't know who that, take that for whoever it is. It's Bill Cosby. Yeah.

Matthew Hawkins, just an update on my bombing career as assistant to the junior high principal. I was asked by our second and third grade counselor to come speak to the students, including my daughter, about fairness. Before it's my turn, they play a video of a guy who looked like Tom Petty playing a guitar and singing about fairness. Once the video was over, I grabbed the mic and said to a bunch of eight and nine-year-olds, so who knew Tom Petty dabbled in kids' music, huh? Straight crickets, except for one teacher about my age.

From then on, I stuck to the top. I'll stick to my day job. Yeah, that's tough. That's hilarious. Do it to eight, nine-year-olds. I know. I tell jokes to Harper. I was like, I think it's an adult joke. I don't get it. Yeah. We doubled down. I was like, what, a bunch of Tom Petty fans here? Yeah. Is this a Tom Petty concert? Whoa, I guess I crossed the line.

Should I say Neil Young? I'm just trying to run down a dream up here and start quoting songs. Jimmy Miller. Nate, I noticed that you wore your wedding ring on the special, but you never wear it on your podcast. Do you only wear it when you're traveling to keep the ladies from constantly pawing at you? Just curious. Yeah, me and wife, there is no Laura.

I'm the comedian that I was talking about earlier. I look at y'all and I go, I don't want to be that. So I never got married. Just talk about it. I'm not a big ring guy. I never wore the ring. I wear it on stage just because I'm, I mean, one of the main reasons I'm talking about being married and it's like, I just don't want you to be like the gun thing. We talked, that was in this episode. It was a different. But like, I don't want you to be like, where's his ring? Sometimes I'll forget it.

but I've never been a big ring guy. And so I wish I could, I thought about the tattoo thing. Like I would almost like that better, but I, I just don't, I like not having tattoos. And then, uh,

So I just kind of don't wear it. I mean, you know, I always joke like, I mean, I talk about she's here, she's producing this. I give, there's, what else do you want? You know, this is a point. Yeah. I mean, what else do you want? You want a picture of her? Symbol of our love? Get out of here. What do I got to, I got to walk around with her face on my shirt. I go, I'm married to her. We wake up every day. She's there. No. No.

I'm not a big ring guy. You wear yours all the time? I do, but I forgot it. Forgot it today. Not all the time. Forgot it all this past weekend. I think most people don't take it off. You don't take yours off. No, I do. You think I learned my lesson after that first week when I almost lost it, but I take it off every... I can't wait to take it off when I get home. I know. So that's why I don't... Because it's like I think about it... So mine's in my... I don't even have mine. Mine's on the tour bus right now, which is not here.

so it's in the ricky's house yeah yeah it's not yeah i have it so i and i put a watch and a ring on right before i walk on the stage and that's the only time i wear it a little something going on outside that's about the phone yeah this is everything's falling apart the whole system's breaking so i don't wear a wedding ring uh

Keep going, Nate. Keep going. Dave Malin. Malone. Malin. Malin. Probably Malin, like Fallon. Yeah. Dave Malin. Nate, a few months ago, my family and I saw your show in Hersey, Pennsylvania. We lived nearby and left to get...

We left to get to Hershey a couple hours early so we could grab a bite to eat for the show. Welcome back, Aaron. On our way there, we passed a tour bus and I quipped, I wonder if that's Nate's bus. Seems like he's cutting it a little close to showtime if it is. When we got to the theater, I walked to where the performers' buses park, and sure enough, it was the same bus we passed. Do you normally only get to shows a couple hours before showtime? We usually go...

earlier uh it depends i mean sometimes i forget we were before hershey but sometimes you're just getting there you gotta get there yeah it would be a couple hours before but sometimes the bus could already be there like it drops you off and it drove us back to the hotel or something like that sometimes that stuff can happen uh so usually the bus can be there a little bit like you know for merch chase that sets up a merch uh

He's got to start setting up like two, two and a half hours for doors open. So if doors open at six, it's like 3.34 or something. He's got to be out there. But sometimes you can be cutting it close. Sometimes you won't be. But I mean, sometimes I won't be dressed into my clothes. I mean, the first act will be on. But I'll be on the bus. So I'm outside or in the green room. And then I'll start getting ready for the show that close to time. I always like that.

like that i always think it's funny to think like i've taken a shower been like i was you know i talked about that like you're just like i was in the shower you know and now i'm in front of everything like i've done it where you're like you do a show in a hotel and you're like 20 you're like 20 minutes ago i was taking a shower yeah and now i'm in front of 500 crazy it's crazy uh john kidwell aaron has been very open about the fact that he drives a minivan

A minivan is a great choice for people with multiple children or people who use it for some sort of business where they have to haul stuff around. As far as we know, Aaron has none of these. So maybe explain how he landed on that choice of vehicle. Nothing wrong with it, by the way. It's a very honorable choice of vehicle. Can I take a guess? Yeah. You're a big fella. What the space? You've never used the actual driver or passenger door and you only go through the...

How funny would that be? I enter an action through the sliding door. You come through like on Star Trek, how they get to the front. And you start climbing up to the front. I guess it's my turn to drive.

All right. And I'm sorry. Oh, that's funny. That's good. It was really funny. I had a two-seater Toyota Tacoma truck. That was my last. And there was no room. And I had to drive that. When I would do gigs on the road, there was no room in there. Yeah. And I could never give anybody a ride. And I said, when I get a new car, I can give seven people a ride in that minivan. You liked it. I love that. I love the room. I love the stow-and-go seats. I throw golf clubs back there. I throw suitcases. It's perfect. Yeah. I recommend it to anybody. Yeah, I could see you getting a van. I think a van's fun.

Yeah, the new ones are getting awesome. Once you just stop caring about the optics of me, I don't care. You know what I mean? So I'll just, whatever's functional. Yeah. There you go. Very honorable. Thank you, John. There you go. I think my answer was funner. Reed Jones. I've heard Nate reference his TV pilot several times, and every time he brings it up, I just want to hear more. I'd imagine I'm not alone. Could you share some stories of how it all came together?

What it was about, how it went filming, how it happened after, any behind-the-scenes stuff. People like us who have never been around the TV biz would love to hear about. Yeah, I mean, I'd probably have to do a whole...

Like, did I talk about the pilot? We've talked about it. Yeah. Yeah, intermittently. Yeah, we did. I mean, it's crazy. You walk in, you go to a studio, you have your living room, your – we had a golf room, living room, kitchen, parents' kitchen, and then daughter's bedroom. And it's all – I mean, they're – and it looks like it's all real things, stairs that go nowhere. Crazy. Crazy.

And so you're just kind of – you're watching it get built. And, I mean, they're putting stuff in there that's like they have a – like they have the Tennessean, the Nashville paper. I mean, down at – Titans magnets on the refrigerator. Oh, man. It's like it's all this stuff that you kind of like – it makes sense, but you're like, I never would have thought of this. Like the people that designed this stuff, it's crazy. Yeah.

uh, we spent a lot of nights writing it. I stayed in a hotel, uh, continental hotel right next to Fox studios for 50 nights. I was there and I'd walk over there every morning and we'd write all day. And you write, when you write a show, you don't, you write, write it over and over and over again, just the whole time. It's, it's always changing. Even up to the night when you're taping, it's changing so much that you're like, try this, do this. We got to get this. Uh,

you know, and what was about mine was about my family. It was just like an, everybody loves Raymond kind of thing. We had Kerwood Smith and Debra Joe Rupp were my parents and,

And so like, you know, just him, he'd fall, Kurt would fall asleep on the couch with the live audience there. Oh, really? Like he would just like, it would be like, yeah, like it's just, I mean, he's working and he was just like, I'm gonna just go over here and like close my eyes for a little bit. And you're like, it was like, I mean, you're, I'm a nervous wreck and it's crazy just to be like, this dude's so comfortable with this because he's been doing it forever and you just are. And you're like, you know, he's like, yeah, I'm just gonna take a little nap. Maybe I just watched recently. Son of a Woman?

Yeah. No, no. Dead Poets Society? Where he's in it? Yeah. That is what I was going to say. Dead Poets Society. That's what I meant. Yeah. It's one of our favorite movies and he's the dad in it. Yeah. One of the dads. Yeah, yeah. Y'all watch a lot together? We had a weekend on the road. Yeah. Sorry I interrupted you. I was thinking the same thing. Yeah. I just watched that again recently too. When we watched Dead Poets Society, Apollo 13.

Yeah. Probably Shawshank. Yeah. Yeah, we watched all the greatest hits. Yeah. It's probably more to what I was, you know, maybe we get Greg Garcia in here one day. We'll talk about

like TV pilots and stuff like that. Well, you know, Greg, I mean, I'm starring in one of Greg's shows. I'll text him if you want to see. Yeah, you're possibly reoccurring. Lee Ledford, when you guys talk about being clean as a comedian, is that only in relation to cursing? Or is it subject matter that might be a little on the dark side, is not included as well? I know you've said it's harder work to tell jokes without the obligatory curse words, but are you still considered clean if you talk about the dark subjects?

I don't... Have I said it's harder? I don't think I usually say that. Other people say that. I let people say that. I don't stop them. I don't remember you saying that. I don't say it. I let them stop them. I'm not... Yeah. I don't... Yeah. I'm not gonna... Someone says it, I'm not gonna stop you, but a lot of people say. It's... No, I don't... Look, I don't think... I talk about... I talked about our dog dying. Like, I don't... I think if you could be... If it's Christian, maybe...

You have to somewhat probably think a little bit more. There's a couple of times I've done a church where I can't say a joke or maybe it's like, you know, it could be like inappropriate. Like, I mean, I talk about drinking jokes. I had like, some of them could just be like, eh, this is not the place for that. But I don't, I don't, I mean, that's, that's the clean that I want to do where it's like, it's just, I like doing, you know, for me, I just like doing it. It's like, it's being clean, but yeah, you would, it's definitely not cursing.

And it's not painting too much of a picture. Like you can't, you know, because you could describe something and it would, it's just, yeah, it's not painting too much of the picture. But the dark type subjects I like. I mean, there's a lot of murder. Like I talk about like someone getting hit all the time. Like it's like that's the funny thing to me. So it's...

There's a lot of stuff like that, you know, right? Yeah. You used to have a lot of fighting. Yeah. Not that that's dark, but there's a lot of... A lot of fighting, a lot of, like, yeah. Ninja, murder. Yeah, ninja was a murder. I say murder in my act now. Yeah. Murder. Chris and Kate Jones, do any of you know a comedian in your style similar to your own who has a bit that you wish you'd written for your own act? If so, who is it and what is the bit? I can never think of. Joe Zimmerman.

I always liked the wolf bit. We smiled. They take a smile at a wolf, you know? I think we did it. I think we talked about this when we first started this podcast. I think we did, maybe. Yeah, when we were trying to do comics on this podcast. God, remember that? Oh, wow. We would show like- A clip. A clip. I think we did just the once. Yeah, yeah. Did we just show that? And then we did his, but Joe's joke about-

Yeah, if a wolf, they tell you just to show teeth or something and the wolf will back down. So you got to like smile at the wolf. I mean, I can't remember all the joke right now, but I remember that joke and I remember like very jealous of that joke. And I could, and me and Joe are probably pretty similar. Like it's, you know, what kind of lower energy, that kind of stuff like that. Trying to think of any other ones. I mean, do you have any? Your time travel joke is one that I always think about myself because that

I'd often thought in my head, just never formulated a joke about if I went back in time, I wouldn't be able to. I just remember thinking if I went back in time, I wouldn't even know how they made the stuff back then. So I always kind of thought about that, how if I went back in time, I wouldn't know how to tell them to do anything. But then that was such a great joke that I was like, yeah, I wish I had thought about that. When I first started, one of the first bits I wrote was about Goodwill Hunting.

And that line from Good Will Hunting, how do you like them apples? And what if the guy hadn't liked apples? I remember it was like the second bit I ever wrote. Yeah. And it was garbage. Yeah. And then in Louie's- Sounds like the first. Go ahead. Louie's last special, he has like a 10 minute bit about that line from that movie where it's obviously it's done brilliantly. Yeah. And you're like, oh, that's to see somebody do something really good with an idea that I did nothing with was pretty cool to see. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the, that's the hard part when you see, there's a lot of times you could come up with an idea and I can't think of it. And you're like, I'm not the comic to configure. I can't do this yet. I don't know how to do it. And I mean, some of it's like, I mean, my jokes, like I, it was like telling stories and joke for me now. It's like, I mean, it's kind of longer stories and,

I still have a lot of jokes in it. But yeah, it's funny. And when you see that, nothing's... Because everything feels sometimes like an idea someone might think could be hacky or could be whatever, whatever. But if you're a great comic, you can say anything. You can figure out how to do it. You can figure out how to do it where you're like, it's not going to... Wherever I'm going to say, it's not going to be like this. Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting to hear. Like Louis...

Yeah, that's always like, you're like, oh, I'm probably stuck with that. I know, but I would have never taken it to where he did. Yeah, that's a great job. All right. We're here with Dusty Slay against Dusty Slay. Stand-ups.

Go check it out. Season three? Yes. Where were you in the order? I think I'm episode five. All right. I'm the real hot spot of number five. Yeah. I feel like that's where, like, if you're in a movie, first credit, really good. Last credit, great. Fifth, they're like, well, we got to put him in. They go, oh, he was in? Yeah. Is there six?

Six, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soda on mine, I was first. Soda was sixth. Oh, yeah. But it's good. I think people go find, like, people want to, like, I think the stand-up thing, stand-up series, I mean, that changed my life. And then, and I think it will change yours. And then it's, it's, they're ordered, the way they do it is just such a good, people get a, like, it's become a pretty good little series and people kind of go, oh, I get to watch,

And I just go through and see what I like, that kind of thing. And they get great comics on it. So it's a cool thing. You're wearing exactly the same thing. Yeah, I wear this a lot. It's like a uniform for me, really. Yeah. I've always been a uniform guy. I don't mind a uniform. One article called you, raved about you, but what's that one right there in the middle there? This one? No, the one where they're all- The prom picture. That one. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like it's Photoshop. They had a good time. Y'all did that in real picture? Yeah. Yeah, we did. Yeah, I like Melissa V a lot. Yeah, she's cool. Yeah, she's... There's just something about her. She's very, very likable. Yeah, she's so funny, too. I watched a bunch of her stand-up before doing the thing, and she's really funny. Yeah. One of the articles called you a Nate Bargatze with bluer material. Oh, yeah. But I don't know.

I don't know what you have that's blue. I don't know. Filthy. Yeah, talk about loose plugs and stuff like that. People interpret that some kind of way. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I just really want to know who's stretching out the plugs. People think that's a sexual reference. People send you photos. In the light. Yeah. You got to plug in your phone charger. This falls right out. That's true. What's happening? What happened in there? Yeah. That's very true. Why does that do that? I don't know.

Yeah. Over time. I mean, who's got these big phone chargers? That's what I'm asking. Well, it's probably over time. So many people just jerk them out. Yeah. I think if you could watch people do stuff, you'd be like, you're the one. Yeah. Like if you could slowly get like just someone like every time they leave my tour manager, Travis, I think he, he's that he would be, he would just jerk things. He could just jerk things from the side. He's the most like man, man.

Like, you know, what do you stereotype of a man? It's like, he's the most. There's no gracefulness to no gracefulness. That's a beautiful way to put it. There's yeah. There's just, it is just, uh, you know, you open the door, a lion walks in, uh,

Charges his phone, does everything, and leaves. No concept of doors or like any, you know. Oh, yeah. Walking hard, slamming doors. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a bad thing. No. You need that. Yeah, you need to walk around just banging into walls and stuff, you know, to remind yourself you're alive.

You got to let loose. Yeah, that is interesting with the plugs. Do you know why they do that? I don't know. I watched a video and they were trying to show you how to tighten it up. And I was like, that seems like a lot. Yeah. I'll just buy another plug to go over it. A multifaceted one. You know, like a lot of plugs. Yeah. And then you can screw it in. You're talking about for hotels? Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't do that at the hotel. But if I had loose plugs at home, that's what I would do. Oh, but then you would be the one that makes them loose. Yeah.

And I don't do that to my plugs. Yeah. So you don't have any loose ones. Yeah, I don't have any loose ones. I got all snug plugs at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're saying that, yeah, but at a hotel you would...

Yeah, you get in there and they try to plug it in. It falls. Find out the next day. Yeah. Found that lamp. I have to prop stuff up to try to balance it. Yeah. On the lamp too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Lamps can get loose. Yeah. The whole time you ever go digging for a plug and then you realize it's inside of the cabinet. Like, right. You're like.

You got to rearrange all the furniture. Yeah, but not on the side of the couch. Now they put the plugs built in. Oh, yeah. But you won't see it. It's not obvious. And then I'll forget. And then, yeah, I'm moving the bed back. I've got one of those big, long plugs. I've seen some where they don't want you to plug something up.

Yeah, they're like, don't use a lot of electricity while you're here. Yeah. You got to plug your phone in the hallway. Yeah. And just hope no one takes it. Yeah, you're here for one night. You're not paying the power bill. So this week, Dusty, we're going to talk about conspiracy theories, which is fun. All right. I mean, I'm into it. I'm into it, too. I'm into it, too.

I thought I'd start light. So chemtrails. What are, no. Okay. I was going to say that is not like people get very upset. My wife is tired of hearing about it. You walk around them when you walk the baby. You try to go, why are you walking weirdly half on the sidewalk? Half not. We'll look above you. Yeah. Up there in that atmosphere. Yeah.

There's a very popular one. Paul McCartney was killed in a car crash in 1967 and replaced by a lookalike. You heard this? I guess, yeah. Like I read it today in the paper. I did read it this morning.

You've heard this? Yeah, I was talking about it in a green room because they were talking about this new Beatles documentary that came out. And this guy goes, oh, well, they debunked that on this documentary. And I go, yeah, I bet they did. They debunked the... That he didn't die. Oh. So they talk about it in the documentary. They were like, oh, that was a hoax. They asked him. Yeah. And he conveniently goes, well, he said yes. He said he's the guy. Yeah. He's like, no, no, I am Paul McCartney. What would the incentive be to...

pretend he didn't die. Well, I think they had a lot, like they were a huge band about to make a bunch of money and he died and they were like, we got to bring in another guy. You think if he were gone, the band would just be, nobody would care anymore? I think so. Why do they think so? They think he looks that different? Well, there's supposedly clues that they've left in different records. And Abbey Road on the album cover

Paul McCartney is walking out of step with the rest of the guys, and he's walking with no shoes. And in all, oh, what is he dressed? In a suit like he's going to a funeral. Yeah. His own funeral. Yeah. They think that's a clue. Oh, that's how you open the image to be bigger? Oh, yeah. What do you mean? I didn't know how to do that. I thought I would double click it.

You do control, since you don't have a right and left click enabled here on this trackpad, you just control click, open image in new time. And he's smoking, which is, you know, that's death. Wait, he's out of step. So they're all, how's he out of step? They all have their left leg forward. He's got his right leg forward. No, that guy in the middle has his right leg forward. Ringo Starr? Oh, Paul McCartney. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. This is Paul McCartney right here. Yeah, yeah.

But then you can say, hey, John Lennon's got his hand in his pockets and nobody else got their hand in their pockets. What's going on with him? Yeah, and he died. And he's wearing a white suit. And that's the guy that died. Yeah, well, two of them are dead. Oh. George Harrison died too. Oh, yeah. I think there is more to this picture, but I don't know what it is. How much thought do you think went into this picture? Do you think they go, hey, we're here, let's just walk across the street real quick? I think it says something on the bug tag.

The license plate? Yeah. I didn't read that. You know, what does it say? I don't know. I dug into it for a while. I don't remember. But there's some stuff with the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album cover too. Yeah, and Revolution 9, if you play it backwards, there's supposedly a clue. It says Paul is dead. Yeah. That'd be a pretty good clue. I don't think it says Paul is dead, but it's something like that.

I think the mind is an amazing thing and you can get yourself talked into anything. Like I would imagine if you go back to that picture that day, they take a million and then they go, this one is awesome. And then they go, I don't care, just put it out. And you got to think like,

You dissect it because it's this iconic, legendary kind of thing. But when they made it, they don't know that it's going to be this iconic, legendary thing. And they just go, yeah, that picture looks the best. I'm tired of doing pictures. And then we go from there. Yeah, I agree with that. That makes more... I always think of stuff like that conspiracy theories. I mean, look, I hope they're real. But I...

Well, that's what I say too. Could it be just like, yeah, dude's like, yeah, dude, I took a picture. Paul walked in. I didn't even think about. It could just be a thing to sell albums. You know, they go, oh, is Paul dead? Let's listen for the clues. Yeah. And he plays everything backwards and you're like, it also says everybody's dead. It's backwards. But they say like John Lennon was about, he didn't get along with the new Paul. So he was about to release the secrets and that's why they killed him.

Yeah, I mean, but it's like, but it's, that's like all perfect. It's a perfect, it all fits like so great. Yeah. Where it's one of those where you go like, so either it's exactly true or it's not. Right. There's no, there's not even in the middle. That's a pretty good lookalike. Yeah. I know, man. He's still alive. The fact that he can sing like Paul. Like with the odds that you're like, so I guess Paul McCartney is a dime a dozen. I go, who's not Paul McCartney? Yeah.

People tell me I look like about 30 people. I don't even think people know what people look like. No, no. Do you get Paul McCartney ever? No, no, I don't get any Paul McCartney's. But I get Kid Rock, and I don't really look like Kid Rock. You look a little bit like George Harrison here, to be honest with you. If he had the hat on, you're wearing the same shirt. I think you would look like...

I think you would look like the original Paul McCartney that's still like, I didn't die. And then you're upset that they. Yeah, you know, there is that theory. Yeah. That he didn't die. He quit because he didn't want the fame. And then he still lives in England. And there was a video on YouTube of a Paul McCartney looking guy just talking in his yard. And they were like, this is the real Paul McCartney. Yeah. This guy, it looks a little bit like you, honestly, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that would be, I like that. Well, there's a video or a photo of a guy, looks like Steve Jobs, and they think Steve Jobs faked his own death just to get out of the rat race. Yeah, people think that about Elvis too. He invented iPhones. I'm just tired of this rat race, of it changing the world. A young Aaron gasped at what Steve Jobs did. Brian calls it the rat race. That's...

That's the difference. I'm just trying to get a break from all this muckety-muck. I'm tired of the nine to five, if you know what I mean. I'm in the corporate ladder. That's that one. Yeah, that guy right there. Where? The top guy. This guy? Yeah.

No, they're saying this is him. Yeah. It's just hanging out at a Whataburger somewhere. Yeah. Well, he's out of the rat race, you know? He's out of the rat race. Yeah. He's like, now I can just live a normal life. Yeah. With millions of dollars. But they say Elvis did that too, you know? Elvis, he faked his death. Has anybody successfully faked their death? Like that you would have ever even found out about? I mean, I guess. Tupac's another one that they think. Yeah. Faked his death. Yeah.

I think it's like, it's always the most, who's doing it is the most beloved person that you don't want to die. And so you make up anything to have hope that they're not dead. They're always, like, Tupac's very beloved. All these people are very beloved. No one's aunt is faked their death. Right. No one's like, you know, my Uncle Joe, right?

there you go we don't know if it's him like in here because no one it's only the like ones you want no one's like yeah we hated Uncle Joe and we think he faked his death yeah but we he could have just went to another town no one's questioning Rodney Dangerfield yeah

He got no respect. He's beloved. He got no respect. That's true. That's what they go. Do you want to fake your death? And he goes, I don't think I can. That's the whole. I think everybody would just be like, what if he is alive? And he's like, and everybody's like, no, dude, we're. They were like, we liked it when you were dead. Yeah.

I mean, some people thought Andy Kaufman did that. Yeah, so this is people that have... Yeah, I hadn't heard any of these people, but here's an example. Joan Stonehouse. John Stonehouse. Ooh, a little natism, dude. Easing into you. Rubbing off, man. Former member of the UK's parliament faked his own death in Miami in the 1970s. He wanted to start a new life with his mistress. He'd been caught in a series of fraudulent businesses, so he just escaped, and then he got caught in Miami.

Pretty crazy. Yeah, under a different name. How long did he... Why would they not tell you when he got caught? Did it last a while, or was it like... We got a separate article here that's got all that. Yeah, was he like... He faked his own death, and then Tuesday they grabbed him, and he's like, well, that wasn't worth it. 72 hours. Yeah. Yeah.

So he pretended to... He drowned on 5th of 1974. He was later found in Australia with a false passport. He claimed to have had a breakdown, but a psychiatric report released to the National Archives reveals he'd been using a dead man's identity for months. This was so well orchestrated and thought out. It's pretty crazy. But still, you don't have the answer of how long did he... How long before he got caught? Yeah.

Yeah, because he faked it in 74. No, he didn't even make it more than a year. In 76. Oh, yeah, he didn't make it a year. Yeah, 1974, he fake died. And then 1975, he's back in England.

He was facing the consequences. So he was probably already caught. So, I mean, he didn't even, he had like four months. Four months of just the best time ever. I mean, how do you get caught in 74 when there's, and you're in my, like that guy wants to get caught. I think you could just walk off. Like back then you could leave your home and you're gone forever. No one can call you. They'll never find you. Track you.

Yeah, what are you doing with a fake passport? I mean, just hang out in the country you faked your death in. Yeah, go to Miami. Yeah, you're in Miami. Go out to Kansas, hang out with your mistress. Maybe you found out the mistress wasn't that great and was like, I'd like to be caught, actually. Yeah, you know what? I miss my wife. I'd rather go to jail. I miss my wife and my family. Boy, they're going to be surprised. You think they're going to love me back again? I'm sure they will. I mean, you know, that's what he's talking to his new wife.

He's got to talk to the new friend. Hey, what if I told you I faked my death? That's the way to go, though. If you ever find another woman, it's easier than, he didn't leave your wife, just fake your death. It's less, you know, you don't have to deal with your family being mad at you. It'd be tough to do now, but I think back then, that's, I mean, it's a shame. That guy's, that's disgusting that that guy got caught. Yeah. I mean, that's borderline airplanes don't work back then. Flew all the way over here.

Do you remember the movie Sleeping with the Enemy? No, I don't. I've heard the name. It was Julia Roberts' first big movie after Pretty Woman. She was like the biggest star on the planet and she had an abusive marriage and she wanted to get away from the guy so she faked her death. Yeah. Had a very elaborate and it worked almost but Is it good? Don't tell me.

Is it a good movie? Yeah, it's a good movie. I'm going to watch it. Don't tell me. Okay. All right. That movie came out in 19, probably 86. Yeah. Early 90s, like 91. Early 90s. Don't spoil it. Don't spoil it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Me and Dusty ain't seen it yet. Six months of it. Take it down a notch. Yeah. Go ahead. Do you have more Paul McCartney info?

No. Well, this is Paul McCartney. He looks up just enough. I was going to say about Tupac, the reasons they gave, the shooters were never found. Suge Knight, who I guess was right with him, wasn't hit. I thought he was hit. He's big. It's hard to miss. Tupac always wore a bulletproof vest, and the man who cremated Tupac retired immediately afterwards.

Like there was something, you know? Yeah. But he's probably close to retiring. Might as well. Yeah. He's like, you peak, you go, I'm going to go out on top. I'm never going to cremate anyone more famous than this. Someone goes, who's the last person you cremated? Tupac. Right. And you go, you want to go like Susie Rosen? Yeah.

You want to be like you go. I mean, if you're at the verge of retirement, you ain't getting better than this. Yeah. So I'm out. I buy that. Go out on top. Go out on top. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but why cremate Tupac? No one wanted to see the funeral? Maybe that was his wish. You can still have a funeral with a cremation. Yeah. I would want to be cremated because I want to make sure. Yeah.

But I want to, like, I always have a theory. I want to make sure I'm dead. Yeah. There's a fear. Have I ever talked about it on here? I think you have. Being buried alive. Being buried alive. Like, you know, what if this is a major problem and we have no idea? I think that's why they had, where the wake came from, right? Because people were getting buried alive.

Yeah. So the wake was like, he might wake up. Is that why they call it that? That's why they tied a string to your finger. This day's going to go two ways. It's going to be real sad or it's going to be bananas. And like, I mean, how many wakes were there? Just because...

Hey, guys. Guys start forking over money. They go, I told you. I saw him blinking two days ago. And you're just handing over 20s. That's where the phrase dead ringer comes from.

Because they would tie a string to your finger and put a bell at the top. And if you woke up, you could pull the bell. Crazy. When did they use? Just like when you wake up from a minute, you're in a casket and just like going. And they go, oh, he's doing this. Oh.

But when they use the phrase dead ringer, they're like meaning he looks like that person. Yeah. It could be a dead ringer for that person. Yes. That is true. But I think that's what it originally was, or his face rings a bell. I think it comes from- Seems like a fake in your own death type of thing. Yeah. That's a dead ringer for that guy. That is true. Yeah. Yeah.

He doesn't. We don't know if that's true. No, I don't know. You could be. I made that up. According to this. Yeah, according to this. This is kind of Paul McCartney related. At an event, Paul McCartney was playing at Stevie Wonder, caught a microphone that was falling, which makes people think Stevie Wonder was not really blind. Yeah, so I mean, I've...

You're going to break the scoop here? I mean, the gig, no one wants me to talk about it anymore, but my Paul Allen gig, Stevie Wonder did it. I opened for him. I know. And then, I mean, I watched him. I mean, he has a bunch of people with him. If he's... I was around the... I sent you the link. I don't know. I mean, I would think any time he could not fake it, this would be a time he couldn't. Or he could be like, yo, I'm like... You know, he's around just billionaires. So...

I saw him. I mean, the idea of him being, I think that's kind of crazy, you know. What would be the advantage of pretending to be blind? He's like, this piano thing's not working out, but if I couldn't see. I mean, I think you can get out of conversations a lot easier. Yeah, yeah. You know, you can just always be. You don't think it's a little more interesting? The fourth one. Right here. Yeah.

Just show everybody, Mo. Well, we won't put this up. No, just let everybody see it. They should know. You got a lot going on. I got a lot going on. People are like, why does he attend NBA basketball games if he's blind? That's one of their arguments. Well, you can take your shoes off. You can feel the squeak. Yeah. I like the noise. I mean, I think your senses are so strong the other way that you would enjoy hearing. There's probably a safety of hearing a bunch of people.

Yeah. Versus like, cause you're in the darkness the whole time. And I would think there's a comfort to hear. Like, I know I'm, I'm surrounded by, you feel like surrounded by love probably. He had a lot of people around him. And like, if you went up to him, it was, it wasn't like you could just go up to him. Like, so, I mean, they were faking it. There'd be a hole. He was late.

He was late. Yeah. So, I mean, there's another one. Yeah, it's tough to find a place when you can't see him. You see him just run, and then right when he gets to that door, he goes, all right, hold on, hold on, hold on. And then they go, and he just walked into it once. He goes, I'm ready to go. That's how he lets them know. He just walks it. Gets his game face up. Forehead hits it and jerks back. But this is him catching it? Yeah, that's the slow-mo of it. Seemed like he missed it.

That's the catch. Well, that's the slowdown version of it. At the beginning, I think it shows it in real time. I love YouTube videos like this. They use an iMovie. You can see that fade in. Jerry Seinfeld's there. Yeah, this is one of those big...

Oh, okay. So Paul McCartney's walking by. He knocks over a mic stand. Stevie Wonder instinctively reaches over. And Paul McCartney, of all people, he was like, let's get a little controversy going, Stevie. You remember when I told people I was dead? Let's make people think you can see. It'll help the album sales. What are the odds that those two guys have that interaction and neither one of them are doing the thing? You think they go, yeah, they hang out backstage and they go,

Hey, you want to grab a coffee or something like that? And he goes, yeah, I would. And he goes, all right. And Stevie lifts up and winks at him. And then they go.

Is it somewhere private? He goes, I'm not even this dude, man. This guy. He goes, what's the real one? He mows my yard. Like, he goes, I don't know. Now, that's... He hits his head on the microphone, so Stevie would have heard that. And then he just... All he does is... He doesn't grab it. He just holds his hand up and it hits his arm. Yeah, by accident. Yeah. Yeah, it's like Paul knocked it over. I mean, you gotta think. Someone that's blind, there are other senses. Like, he's...

He's not like a dumb animal. Like he can hear what a microphone sounds like. He hears. And he's been blind his whole life. So his senses are just through the roof. I mean, he can probably just guess what...

something's doing because he's like yeah i mean i you know i have to i have to be so conscious of all of it and this other guy here that goes to catch it with glasses on yeah he's like he doesn't seem shocked that stevie yeah called it he's like let me get that for you this guy yeah herbie hancock i'm pretty sure yeah well he was super late herbie hancock yeah you were at this event no no i did a

Yeah, not unlike this, though. Not unlike this. A lot of the same. Stevie Wonder was there. Keanu Reeves is immortal. Okay. He's been around since. So just the movies that he made now were just that? Well, he's around long before that. There he is right there. 1990, wow. Just popped in. Oh, 1530, 1875. Yeah.

Yeah. But those are drawings, though, it seems. Well, that's a guy, Paul Monet, a French actor born in 1847. But they think that's really Keanu Reeves. He looks older than the 1991 version of Keanu Reeves. Well, because they know they're onto him. Oh, wait, you're saying he looks older now? He took a pretty big break. Well, he took, I mean, he was very slow going. He's like 1530. He's like, I don't know.

He's like, I'm not going to take my picture or anything. And then 1875, he's like, I'll do another picture. The camera's getting better. 91, he was like, you seen those cameras? I'll do, you know. I'll start a movie career. Then he only takes a picture every four years. He does wait between these pictures. Well, you know, there's a theory that there's no pay phones now. And in the Matrix, they use the pay phone to escape the Matrix. That's got to shut that window.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can just shut it real fast. The speed of a sloth. I asked the sloth to shut the window. This window? Yeah, I would have done better calling Harper downstairs to come up and show just that turn. Just the most rain.

Back in business. Back in business. You a big paper towel guy? I love paper towels. I could feel like grab those paper towels. Like you would, like, I could see you walking around. Like if you, the old Aaron, like if you, if you go, Hey, we're having a cookout. Would you bring your own paper towels? I would love to. Yeah. I'd love to be the paper towel guy. What are you going to bring? Chips? Dip? Uh-uh. Something a little more important that you don't even know you need. Yeah. Paper towels. You know why? We didn't use paper towels growing up. Yeah. We didn't.

We never did. It was all cloth napkins and towels. So to have a paper towel and be able to use it whenever I want is a pretty powerful thing. Yeah, like you could bring – would you bring for the party and then you'd be like – have Lucy like keep ours in our purse? Like, you know, like keep your separate – Our own separate paper towel roll? No, I wouldn't do that, but I would take what's left over home with me after. I'm not just going to give you – Do you have paper towels in the van? Yeah.

I do have one in the van. Yeah, it's probably good to... Yeah, you never know what's going to happen. I treat paper towels like gold myself. When somebody breaks off two at a time, I get uneasy. You know, like I had some plumbers come over and do some work and they kept using paper towels and I was like, you guys don't have your own napkins? Yeah. And, you know...

I use cloth. I like to use cloth too, but when I was single, I had a friend over and he's like, you got any napkins? And I handed him a cloth that I'd probably used all week. And he was like, oh, he's like, this is fine if you wash it once in a while. Yeah. Love paper towel, love paper plates.

Yeah, I like paper. They're firm. A little chinette. I love paper. If I wasn't married, I would only have paper plates. You don't need the other stuff. I wouldn't have the other stuff. I really wouldn't. I would have just like, you know. Solo cups. Oh, I would be, I mean, global warming would love me. If you're global warming, you're like, this guy's keeping us alive. That's how I would live life.

Well, you know, they say about Keanu Reeves, right? The Matrix, they have the telephone booths. That's how you escape the Matrix. So they said they got rid of the phone booths so we can't escape. We're all in the Matrix, but now we can't get out. There's no phone booths. And then also in his first movie, they traveled in a phone booth. Bill and Ted. Yeah. Yeah.

So he's like a phone booth guy. Yeah, he's traveling. He's going around. He's been stereotyped. Yes, he has. Yes, he has. But are you saying you think he knows more and he's giving us clues?

I don't know, but I just think that's interesting that we can't go to the phone booth and get out of this. Get out of this thing we're living. Yeah. I'm sure there's an old phone booth somewhere. Yeah. I mean, now people use them to go use your cell phone or phone booth. Do they? Like sometimes at a hotel. Like a privacy booth. Yeah. Just rip the phone out. The cord's still hanging out. It's going there. Hello. Still checking for change. Hello. Yeah.

What's for dinner? What time are you coming home? He goes, I think I'm going to die on this trip. You got to start to plant the seed. I tell you what, I don't feel good and I don't think I remember how to swim. Weirdly enough. All right, I'll see you. Nowadays is a good time to fake your own death, you know? You think? You can be like, I'm not breathing well. Say you have COVID. You're like, I think I have COVID. You're like, you're out. You have to go somewhere safe.

I don't know where you go live. You have to go somewhere pretty remote. Yeah. Alaska, Montana. Uh, yeah. Cause you could probably go to Alaska. Like, I mean, I think cell phones are gone. I think you'd say different names. It would be, it probably would be interesting to what are you like? What if I, what if you tried to be like, let me just go, you say you don't fake your death, but you're like, go live in a town for a month.

and just say, I'm a different name. I just moved here. And then see if you would like it. I don't think I like that. You know, sometimes people can say they use a fake, a different accent. I don't know if it's just in movies, but I'll talk in a British accent to someone on the phone just so they think I'm British. Yeah. I'm very uncomfortable with that. I would never do it. That's why I'm uncomfortable with prank phone calls. If you were better at accents, would you...

I guess I'd be, yeah, but I'm uncomfortable with prank phone calls. I don't like hearing, like that's why the pranks I like are the pranks that get set up and I can kind of walk away from it. And I know it's kind of happening if I can watch it. And it's like, I don't, but I'm also friends with the person that's the prank. I don't want to do it to random people. Yeah. And so there's a little bit more to it, but I would have trouble looking you in the eye.

And, you know. Just lying to you. Yeah, like you would, you know. That's why I like impractical jokers because they're the ones that are really, they're not messing with other people as much as themselves. Yes. It's their buddies. The prank is them looking silly. Yeah. I went to a coffee shop and they always have a hard time with the name Dusty. They always write Dustin or Justin. So one day I was like, Mike Duster.

And they yelled out Mike and I went and got the coffee and it felt like I had done something. Yeah. It feels good. Yeah. I felt like I got away with something. I'm like, I'm not crazy, but I'm getting this coffee. I've been doing this for years, but I, I always say my name is Doug.

I've done that for years. I say Doug at a restaurant. Yeah. And it feels good. So you're, why do you do that? I don't know if I say my name wrong, but I feel like I always have to repeat it. Yeah. I never land it the first time. Yeah. Nothing sounds like Doug. I kind of feel like a Doug. Yeah. So I'm Doug. I like that. I want to call you Doug now. Yeah. Feel free. Doug did the music at the top of this podcast. There you go. Doug Brown. Yeah. And then, yeah, I could see.

Yeah, I would feel – I would think I'd feel uncomfortable if I said the wrong name and then they yelled it and I'd go get it. I just would feel weird. I'd have tried, though. I know a guy who's like – It feels like, Cartwright? I'd have tried. Yeah. I'll just be Brian. I know a guy that was – I'd say Brian. That was Daryl, and he was like, I want to be called Mitch. Yeah. And then we all just started calling him Mitch. And it was like, he just –

Just made the switch. Did it stick? Yeah. I mean, I don't know where he's at now, but he could. Where did Mitch come from? Was that a middle name? He said he just always liked the name. Yeah. That's not how it works. He said he just wanted to be a Mitch. You're a Doug.

but, but I'm not trying to get my friends to call me Doug. You just told us that we could call you Doug. I said you can, but I'm not, I'm not lobbying for it. I mean, all the, you gotta think, but how many people will call you Doug? All the restaurants you go out to yet? They, I mean, I probably better know it as Doug. Look, who's back. Doug, Doug, whoever's network. Doug, come on over. There you go. You got your favorite restaurant. I got a booth. I,

I knew a guy named Marshall for years. I met him in Charleston for years. I knew him as Marshall. He moved back to Illinois. He came to a show with a group of his friends and then I was calling him Marshall and he kind of pulled me to the side and he goes, Hey, they don't know me as Marshall. Like he had a different name and he moved to Charleston and became Marshall. Oh, but now he's like, that's, you know, they don't know me as that. What do they know him as? I forget. Like John or something like that.

But... Yeah. So he did it. Yeah. That's weird. But then he ended up back home, so it didn't work out. Oh, so it was Marshall. So he... Yeah. I don't know if he turned around. Like, he lives two different lives. Yeah. Yeah. And when he came back home, he went back to Marshall? No, he went back to whatever his other name was. Yeah. Bob. Yeah. Man. Robert, Mike, Mitchell. Yeah. Told his family, y'all call me Marshall, and they just hit him in the head. Yeah. Yeah. So...

It's a bit of a conspiracy. The Denver airport. There's a lot going on there. Oh, I love that one. Yeah. That is a good one. Yeah. What's your favorite? Well, they have all these, well, they have the, they have the horse out front named Blucifer. Yeah. And it killed the guy that, that built it. It fell and killed that guy. The statue or the horse it's named after? Well, the statue. Yeah. Fell and killed the guy.

And then there's a bunch of murals inside that seem to depict like people dying. Yeah. Like stages of death. Oh my gosh. I've seen them in there. And it's like, there's one with a gas mask and a guy with a sword and the gas is coming out and all these people are dead. And then it's like the rebirth of,

So it's like it's predicting this whole, we're going to kill everybody, and then the people that are left, we all come together. Yeah. And it's happy and harmonious. So I'm thinking there's some Nazi imagery in there. Yeah, I could see that with this one right here. There you go. I mean, my gosh. See this, I don't know if, he has the gas mask on, and you see all the people crying, and there's people laying there dead, and then he's stabbing the dove.

The artist says, in reality, it's about world peace and a healthy environment. Oh, that's what I took away from this. That seems peaceful. Well, is it the stages? Like he's saying, there's a point you got to fight these people. Yeah, you got to keep going. Keep going. See how it ends. Yeah. Dusty didn't walk that far. It just seems like that guy has an AR-15. We go pull up to the airport. You're like, look at that blue horse. You go, wait till you get inside. That's the most normal thing you're about to see.

At the airport? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess there's gargoyles all throughout it. Yeah, I would think they just gave it. They let a dude go do whatever he want. And then they... Yeah, see, now that guy's dead. Oh, it's a good ending. And all the people have come back in harmony. Yeah. Yeah, see, Dusty didn't walk far enough.

Yeah, now it's a good song. Two Doves? Two Doves. But what are they predicting? That's what I'm saying. They're predicting maybe what we're in now.

Right. So there you go. Yeah. Just go look to the Denver airport and then they go. And they say the Denver airport has all these like, like. That thing represents COVID. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they say they have like almost like a skyscraper's worth of basement in the airport. Some think it's underground bunker. Yeah. For the apocalypse or it goes to NORAD all the way to the, wherever NORAD is there in Colorado. They think the Illuminati is,

Well, I shouldn't say they. Somebody thinks the Illuminati helped build the airport because it was way over budget. And they have secret meetings underground there. What are they talking about? What's Illuminati? Well, who knows? You know, everybody always talks about it, but, you know. It was a real thing. It was a real secret society that was created. Secret society of all the rich people. Like, really rich. Not like, I got a lot of money, but like...

And they get together and they plot and decide what to do with our lives. I think originally it was created like... And then we get mad at each other while other people are playing around with us. Right. I think it was created in France in the 1800s. It was just a secret society and then people found out about it and disbanded it, but supposedly it still exists. Yeah.

It's grown. The Freemasons is another one. I don't know the difference. Yeah, we get an email for a meeting on that. Like, how do you get that? Like, are they just texting? Hey, we got an Illuminati meeting tonight. All right. All right, let me get my goat head. All right. What are we going to do? Because we're going to look at... Well, you know, like the movie Eyes Wide Shut, they say there's a lot of that kind of stuff going on. Yeah.

Well, that movie's, yeah, it's like, that's the point of that movie. They made a movie about the Illuminati? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I couldn't watch it. It seemed, it's too gross for me. Yeah. Was there any more Denver Airport? I think it's haunted, maybe. I don't know. I know about the murals and about the horse and about the basement. Mm-hmm. Blucifer, though, just is- Yeah, why would you call it that? Yeah. It's a weird name. Yeah. Yeah.

I've flown in and out of it. It has red eyes. Does it have red eyes? I mean, Blue Suburbs is a very appropriate name for it. Yeah, but why would he make... Why would you throw this up outside the airport? I think they went with an angle, and they let whoever designed this, they go, what do you want to do? And he goes, I got a plan. And he's going to tell a story. And then like... Because I would think if you're...

If you're our Illuminati, would you be this obvious about it? How would you be like, hey, we have a secret place we go to. Where is it? Where the blue horse is with red eyes. You're like, the thing everybody can see, you idiot. I think that's it. The hidden in plain sight. They put it so out there that it's like, oh, well. Do people say that? Yeah. It's like the Denver Broncos. Which came first?

I'm sure the Denver Broncos. The airport or the Broncos? Yeah, I'm sure the Broncos. I think the Broncos are there before the airport. Yeah. Are you seriously asking which came first, the airport or the Broncos? Yeah. I would think the Broncos. I think the Broncos. This airport's new. It's like the Broncos has been around 100 years. No, but the airport's new. Okay. Opened in 1995. Okay. Yeah.

They also had like some Egyptian statue of the god of death out there temporarily at one point. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, at the airport. Just kind of hanging out. Yeah.

Welcome to Denver. A lot of planes are on fire as they land. Yeah. There's a lot of every plane you get off of, you're like, I swear there's more people on this flight than I thought. Yeah. A lot of times it's just like, why are you doing that? Like even in Nashville, the Parthenon, you got this 50 foot statue of Athena in there. That's like, you get in there and it's like, why is this here? Because we're the Athens of the South. Yeah. But like there is Athens, Alabama. There's Athens, Georgia. Wow. Yeah.

We're Athens in spirit, not just in name. Yeah. You know? Those are small towns. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We're a real city. We're a real city. But what makes us the – and then we have the Titans. We're a hub. We're a hub of education, dude. Yeah. A lot of colleges there. All right. I see that. That makes sense. That's what I was told. Right. I don't know if y'all – I don't think I've ever been told any of this. That makes sense, though. That's why we're the Athens. I'm an old hickory on the other side. They ain't nobody talking to us about anything. Yeah.

They just go, you're lucky to be here. I told you to calm down. We just know we park there for Vanderbilt football games. I park next to the building in the park. Never thought anything about it. See, I was told in the way that Athens was a center of intellectual thought where people gathered and exchanged ideas, that Nashville was that because of Vanderbilt and Belmont and TSU and all these colleges. You wouldn't think that on Broadway, though. That's not what you would. If you go down Broadway on Saturday night,

You're not like, this is intellectual fault. That's true. It's a little tucked. Yeah, that's a good point. It's a little tucked away. But again, we're not saying the US. We're just saying the South. So we don't have a lot of options there. Yeah, we're not the Athens of the United States. Yeah. Just the South. Just our little of Nashville. Our little corner. Athens of Nashville. The Athens of Nashville. Yeah. West End is the Athens of Nashville. Yeah.

We're a little bit better than Broadway on the other side, where all the honky-tonk bars are. It's a little more... Yeah. At the split. This side's like, yeah. It's like, I don't know, man. We drink our cups. Yeah, pinky up. Yeah, pinky up.

What are they doing down there? Are we going down there and watching them for fun? Yeah. But, yeah, just, you know, why do we need the statue in there? Is that helping us think? I think people come see it. You know, it's easier, a little quicker trip than going all the way there, see the real one. When you go in there, you got to see something. Talk about this one right here. Yeah, that's Athena. I mean, you can see it on this, but it's nothing until you're in there.

Oh, it is pretty big. It's tall. You've not been in there? No, I don't go. I've looked at it on the outside. I didn't know anything was on the inside. Do you refuse to go? Well, I don't know if I want to go now. There's this big creepy statue in the middle. But would you go see the real one or would you be like? I'll go see the real one. I know, but you just go this one and you're like, I mean, same idea. Yeah, it's not all ruined and torn down. Yeah, it's prettier. It is prettier. It's very nice. And it's in the middle of Nashville. Yeah, the trip is easy.

It's a lot easier to get there for sure. In 1968, Stanley Kubrick produced the film 2001 A Space Odyssey. The next year, the moon landing happened. Oh, wow. Some people say he directed the moon landing. Yeah, there's no way he did it. There's a video confession. Hey, do you mind if we do the, as he's doing the 2001 Space Odyssey, they go... Sequel. Hey, can I talk to you for a second, Stanley? Yeah.

My name's John Nassa. There's zero chance we're getting to this moon. I, borderline, don't even know if there's outer space. So could we throw you a little extra money? Make it look real nice. Buy yourself something real nice, Clark. Make it real nice. Make it. And they go, yeah, dude, I've already got the stuff here.

Yeah, I mean, the moon landing is wild though, huh? Because you just go up there, they just fly, they land right on it, they get out, they got a little cart, they're driving around, they're playing golf up there. It's like, what? We just went up there for a little vacation? Yeah. Some guy's standing on the moon when they land to take a picture. Somehow he got out there. Oh, what do you mean? I feel like we, this has all been waiting. We've been rewatching

reeling you up just for this movie. As it lands, they're taking a picture of it. They make a phone call to the president. He's talking on a landline. In 1969. He's talking on a landline to the moon. Hello? You guys on the moon? Yeah, how do they have satellites? Yeah, they don't. Yeah, they're just like, ah, we're on the moon, Nixon. And he's like, that's great. That's good. Good to hear from you. Sound great. Yeah.

He goes, I can't keep my feet on the ground, but besides that, it's a pretty good time. He goes, that's kind of annoying. I can see how I would be annoyed by this. And look at all those pictures. Where are the stars? That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, but I don't know if you would see stars. Like, it could be dark. I mean, like, it's so, like, I could see, I think I could see not seeing stars. Like, you know, and a camera in 1969. Like, how? Yeah, I mean. Why, have we not gone back to the moon?

We went back a few times. Yeah. Not since the 70s. Yeah. So we went in 1969 and then the 70s and then that was it? Yeah, we can't go right now. Why? I mean, they're working on getting us back, but right now if we had to go, we couldn't go. We don't have the capability. We're going to Mars. Well, not right now. They're working on it. Isn't there something on Mars? But why can't we go to the moon? We could if we wanted to, but we could if we wanted to.

But there's no public desire to go back to the moon. We've already been there. I'd like to go. People couldn't justify the funding for it. It's like if there were a national outcry, we got to go to the moon. They would be, all right, we'll do it. Let's do that. Nobody wants to do it anymore. Let's get the outcry going. That's why they stopped doing it is because of public lost interest. They're just like, ugh.

We've already been there. We're going to the moon war. I mean, no one even believes it. Yeah, you ain't been there first time. How about you go one time and then I'll see what happens. But, you know, it's like, yeah, I mean, I'd like to go. I mean, what's going on? There's no interest. The public's not interested. I'd like to go. Let's see what's happening up there. Let's put a little cabin up there. So if people don't believe, what do they think the moon is? What do we see at night if they don't believe in the moon?

I think they believe it's there, but that we didn't go land on it. That's why Dub, what was Borat, not Borat, but what was his other character? Ali G? Yeah, Ali G. Where he had Buzz Aldrin on. He's like, there's a theory, and I know you've probably heard this before, and he thinks he said that the moon's not real. Yeah.

He's so confused. Like, what? Well, Buzz Aldrin is always involved with some people talking to him about the moon. He's punched a guy. Yeah, yeah. And he told a little girl that we didn't go to the moon. He said we didn't? Yeah. The little girl's like...

you know, when do we going back to the moon? He's like, we didn't go there. And it's, it's very confusing. I just watched that clip the other day. It came up on Reddit for some reason. He struck me. He wasn't making any sense. He wasn't making it. He was like, well, we didn't. And then we, we, we never did. Yeah. I would say he could, he could just be answering these questions. He probably likes being like, I'll just say we didn't like, it doesn't, you know, it's, it didn't be a point.

It's been so long, and people are just like, I don't think you did it. And he's like, what do I care that this loser is just walking up to me going, I don't think you did it. You're like, you live with your mom. I'm not going to answer. I'm tired. Fine, I didn't go. I didn't go. You just give them what they want. Yeah, you go, I don't care. Yeah, and who knows? But it's like, it is weird that

They made a phone call from the moon. It's like, come on. You made a phone call from the moon? You think the technology wasn't a big deal? Yeah, I mean, you can't. It wasn't like a pay phone. They had the radio communication. Yeah, but it's like, did they say moon now? Yeah. From the moon? From the moon. Yeah, why do you have cell phones? It took a minute to get there. It wasn't like, they weren't FaceTiming. You saw it. It's close. He goes, it's over St. Louis. He goes, all right.

And then it's supposed to be spinning so fast and also spinning, like spinning around and spinning. To land on that thing seems like quite a feat. Yeah, well, I think nobody's arguing it was super easy. But have you seen the ship that landed there? It doesn't look good. I wouldn't feel safe driving that thing on the interstate. Well, it doesn't have wheels. And now we're going to the moon and this thing? Yeah.

it's so hard to land that they landed back in the ocean. That's how hard it is to land. That is pretty funny. They're like, we can't land it. It's so hard to do. So when you come back, dude, just hit water somehow. Cause it's like, why are they not landing it? You're like, could we land it on the land? He goes, no, absolutely not. It would be too hard to do. So just dump it anywhere in the middle of the ocean. That's, and we'll come grab you.

And they still do that. They take a little jet. So what is that? I do it in my act now. Just hitting the waves. A jet ski? A jet ski. A wave runner or something. Yeah, just going. And he hits and he grabs Neil Armstrong. Yeah, I mean, that's more believable than if they had landed back where they took off from. You know what I mean? Like if they were like, oh, right back where we started. We've seen the new SpaceX.

that'll come back and land right where it was. What about the... So it came back. So what did they do? Just dumped a... Because then don't they show them like come out of the water? So they're just saying like they just dumped the thing in the water. I mean, you know, I don't...

So easy. There's a video of it coming down. So like they, what did they do with that? They just, I mean, I don't know. I mean, but you could just launch like Jeff Bezos and then pull your parachute and come right back down into the ocean. Yeah.

We did it. We did it. We're back. Time moves differently up there. They just see it. We've been gone for months. They see two pictures and they go, the sun's the same thing, dude. Look at the sun. It just went from here. They go, then tell me why is it the launch and a perfect lake right next to it? I mean, it's 100 yards. He just went big, shot from there, went to there, and they go, woo.

Yeah, I would believe it more if one of the guys had got lost. They were like, we couldn't get him back in. Apollo 13, that almost happened. Yeah. They almost died up there. Where were they going? They were going to the moon. Oh. They were going to land on the moon. And then that was the last time we tried?

No, we went back after that. What happened in Apollo 13? A bunch of stuff happened. They lost oxygen. There was a fire where stuff got burned off, so they wouldn't be able to land on the moon. So what they had to do was they had to go to the moon, use the moon's gravity to slingshot back to Earth to preserve fuel. And this is all from the movie. 100% from the movie. With Clint Eastwood and Tommy Lee Jones.

No, come on. Tom Hanks. Ed Harris and Tom Hanks. Oh, okay. Ron Howard. Ron Howard. Which was Space Cowboys. That was a funny place. Yeah. Similar. Yeah.

I need to go watch Apollo 13 again. Apollo 13 is unbelievable. It's a great movie. Yeah. Have you seen Gravity? I have seen it, yeah. I don't know if I've seen Gravity. Is that Matthew McConaughey? George Clooney? No, George Clooney and Sandra Bullock, and that's it. Yeah, see, I believe that more. Is the movie about debating gravity? To debate. Do people not believe in gravity? Well, I don't know. I mean, I can't get into that one. Yeah.

Some people may not. I don't know. What would these some people say? Well, you know, they would say that, you know, well, that's a, it really opens up a whole bunch of stuff that it's, it's hard to. Things just fall. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, they would say that it's a, the, the, it's a density thing that the, you, you, you're heavier than the air around you. So nothing needs to bring you down. It's just your weight. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that's gravity, right? Is that... Well, I mean, it's just, it's weight. You know, like this cup is heavier than the air around it, so it falls. But like helium is lighter than the air around it, so it lifts. Right. So gravity is not real. It's just your weight. Theoretically. Yeah. So it's just basically... Yeah, but what is the force that causes that to happen? What is... Yeah, it's just, he said the weight, your weight is the force. Yeah, but what is...

But why would you need a force to make the weight happen? It would almost make these people upset with the word gravity, like literally the word. And you go, do you want to just change the word, man? And he goes, I'd appreciate it. Because I think you hung up on the actual word of gravity. Yeah. Right? That's what it sounds like. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. But you're asking, I know what you're asking, like what makes, just because you're heavy, what makes you go down? Yeah, what is that? The weight.

Yeah. Why is weighing more would cause you to go down? Because you're heavier. Gravity is heavier. Like they're saying, the answer should be what I'm saying. And they go, well, it's gravity. I go, no, you're heavy. And what's around you is not as heavy. So you're saying like, why do we have gravity? Well, like my weight. So I should be like, right now I'm trying to lose gravity. Yeah.

Like that's what I should say. Yeah, you're trying to lose gravitational force. Yes, I'm trying to lose some gravity. Yeah, people always like as they get older and they sag more, they always blame gravity. They go, oh, as you get older, gravity really pulls you down. It's not helping, dude. We've talked about this before. If you go, you know, there's astronauts that go to the moon, they come back, they're a few inches taller. Yeah.

Because they spent some time without gravity pulling on their spine. Yeah. So they're a couple inches taller when they get back, and then they shrink back down. Yeah, gravity's sucking you. You know, you're like an inch or two taller in the morning because you've been laying down on your back all night. Every morning. So if I measure myself tomorrow, I'm going to be 6'1". This is the new Krispy Kreme challenge. Weigh yourself, not weigh yourself.

Measure your height? Yeah, measure your height when you wake up and then measure it when you go to bed at night. And there's going to be a considerable difference. Yeah. What if you're just floating around in a pool? There you go. It's the same principle. Yeah. If you spend a month in a pool, you're going to be a little bit taller when you get out. That's my guess. Is that what they tell Bezos? You're like, quit spending money on all this and just go scuba diving. Right. It's the same thing. That's what I'm saying. Let's explore the ocean. Yeah. That's what I'm always saying. Look into the ocean.

We can only go nine miles into the ocean, I think. Seven miles down. Two miles deep before the pressure becomes too much. They have no idea. Well, I think James Cameron sent Cameron to the bottom. But we don't know if that was the bottom. Maybe a bottom of a certain place. Yeah. Yeah, he doesn't know. How do we know where? I don't think James Cameron solved the ocean issue. Yeah, no. He did Titanic. What's the ocean issue? We don't know what's going on down there. Yeah.

But it's like we should focus more on the ocean. Yeah, let's focus on it. I think everybody's scared of water. And then I think scientists probably don't learn how to swim. And they go, they just go, let's go up. Let's go the other way. And then you go, come on, man. That's why we need doctors and lawyers down there. Yeah. Well, I mean, they want society, people to live on other planets eventually. Yeah. I mean, that's probably in our lifetime that's going to happen. We're going to go start a colony on Mars. Yeah. In our lifetime. Yeah.

Yeah. You want to bet? In our lifetime. Yeah, I'll bet. Yeah. Okay. We're going to track this down. I'm going to be 90. It might be that long, but yeah. Yeah. There'll be a colony of people on Mars. And they're just up there living it up. But can they breathe without wearing that? Well, they're going to have to create some kind of...

A way of oxygen. And then the goal eventually is to create, you know, an atmosphere there on Mars where people can breathe and live normally. Why do you, why would you want to do that? Because the earth, if you, if you're, if the premise is that earth is, has finite amount of resources and we're damaging it for global warming and all other things, we need to, we need to go set up shop somewhere else. So Mars has some resources. Yeah.

Or if another asteroid hits the Earth. Better get out of here. We need to be somewhere else and we keep human civilization. It's not putting all your eggs in one basket. It's that. But why not build that structure here that you're trying to build on Mars? Or you think this is going to end. Yeah, we can breathe fine on Earth now. I'm talking about build a structure where you can breathe oxygen on Mars. But how do we know? Why don't we go to another planet? We're just picking Mars because it's easiest to get to. Mars is the only one we can get 100%. Yeah.

And it's the only one that has a chance. Yeah. And Mercury's probably already global warming down. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's probably pretty hot there. Venus is, yeah, just toxic. Very cold, yeah. It's the hottest planet. Okay. Yeah. It is funny. How do they get... Do they just look up there in the telescope and the scientist tells us this? We didn't fly to Venus. We've been on Venus before. We have? Yeah. Not us. I think maybe China.

What? Not a human. So we can't know. No, no, no. I was like, I'm learning this. This is like the moon landing all over again. I'm like dumb and dumber when he goes, hey, everybody, we went to Venus. I was like, breaking news here, Aaron.

That'd be the greatest. So when did they send that off? Venus looks like a nightmare. I don't know. I don't know when this happened. See, I think you could say this is- Oh, that's a proposal. But we have landed something on Venus. I think this is, you could say, is more fake than the moon landing. When they go, don't we send something up there? You threw a rock up there. It's up there. Yeah. I mean, we did it. The Soviets in 1970 became the first spacecraft to land on another planet.

Oh, they were first. They went to Venus. What did they have in there? In the 70s, they had the technology to get to Venus, take pictures, send it back. Yeah. Amazing. I don't think... Amazing. Yeah. And cell phones took as long as they took. Yeah.

That's just the best way to... Amazing. Yeah, I mean... That's pretty incredible. It's pretty crazy. I didn't know we had images of Venus. Oh, yeah, man. I mean, there's not much to look at. That's probably why these pictures aren't talked about more often. Well, it looks about like Mars. It's not quite as rare. I feel like they should talk about it more. I think I've been to that place. Yeah. That's in Montana. That looks like Fayetteville, North Carolina. Well, that's a coffee zone gig. Yeah. If we've been to Venus, that would be...

So these are pictures that are from 1981. Yeah, so now it could be a city. Oh, here's why. Here's what happened. So this lander was designed to function for 32 minutes in the crushing pressure and heat of the surface. It's the hottest planet in the solar system. But it ran for 127 minutes. So that's why this thing was here taking pictures. It only lasted two hours before it just... How did we get the pictures? It sent it to us. Satellite. Airdrop. Yeah, airdrop. Yeah, so...

Okay, so that's pretty good that you can, in the 70s, and what is it, 450 degrees? Yeah. Like, still have those pictures. That's Celsius. I cook my tostinos up and my pizzas on that. Wait, that's, I don't know. I just think we're being punked here with this. They're like, no, no, no, we went to Venus. It was very hot. Yeah. I think we just crashed a spaceship into the sun.

Did we? We did. We did just send something at the sun. Like the last few months. It's 850 degrees Fahrenheit. Not enough money to get back to the moon, but let's send it into the sun. Why did they send it into the sun? See how hot it is. Turns out pretty hot. Yeah. Yeah. We entered the solar atmosphere for the first time. For the first time in history, a spacecraft has touched the sun. And then it blew up? Yeah.

I don't think it lasts that long. How about you not mess with kind of the main thing we need? Like, how about like, yeah, go do whatever you want on the dumb old moon, but how about let's take it easy with the sun? Yeah, the sun's like, stuff's in the stuff up there. I'm going to take off. Yeah, you need me more than the moon. I don't even see the moon every night. That's why I don't believe in it because where is it every night? I don't see it. Yeah, it takes vacations. It takes shows on. It's like, listen, I'm going to just be half in it tonight. That's a great Rory Scoville joke. One of my favorite jokes. What?

was the moon he goes when the moon comes out during the day and the sun's like what are you doing and he goes what he goes i mean he goes i'm still out here he goes all right well i'll leave he goes well you can't leave now everybody's already seen you might as well stay that's my favorite joke i think yeah it's so funny all right what about satellites

Well, I mean... Well, that's what's sitting in all these pictures. Yeah. I know, but... So basically, it would be like... Would you say a conspiracy person would be like, they want to see it? Yeah, I mean, it's just like... It just seems so weird that they're like, yeah, we went to the moon a couple of times, but it ain't really worth going back now. People got bored with it. Yeah, they got bored. I just don't think people are really... They got bored with this story. It'd be like if someone's writing these stories. I mean, we were writing Harry Potter, so why can't we write these other stories? We were just writing stories. Yeah.

You take all these pictures. So basically, we're just trapped on Earth. You're like, stuff's going up. Can't see anything. You're like, yeah, it's fine. I don't know. Whatever. And then you come back, and then you're like, are we up? Yeah, I've just never heard people be like, I'm pretty tired of hearing about going to the moon. I think there was like a big space race between the US and Russia during the 50s and 60s. And they went to Venus, and they won. Well, that was right after we went to the moon. Oh, boy.

But once we went to the moon and landed humans there, that's about as far as we can do technology-wise. We weren't close to anything else. So we did a few more times. They're like, all right, I guess we're done for a while because there's nothing else we can race each other at. It's just pure competition. I think a lot of it was. So it's like, don't worry about trying to figure anything out. Let's just... Human achievement. Yeah. That's what it was. Yeah. And then now... And then James Cameron came along and he goes, I'm going to go the other way.

Yeah, he's like, I'm going to go. The Titanic guy? The Titanic guy. He's going to find the Titanic? Yeah. He's going way deeper now. Way deeper. Titanic wish. Wish he could go where? I think Louis C.K. has a joke about gravity. It's just Sandra Bullock unable to grab things. Yeah, yeah. The whole movie. Yeah, I mean, George Clooney dies in that movie, and it was unnecessary. No, I haven't seen it. Oh. Well, it happens pretty quickly. I don't remember which one's George Clooney. Yeah. You're kidding me.

All right. Katy Perry is actually JonBenét Ramsey. I went down that rabbit hole too. I mean, I'm into any of this. I'll look at anything for a while. I could see it's like your own movie. It's like a movie. Yeah. And so I could see how people could read it, and then if you just keep going and you see one little thing, if you want to believe it,

It will never stop if you want to believe it. Yeah, and you don't even have to believe it to just be like, this is interesting. I saw something the other day that was like, Morgan Freeman is Jimi Hendrix. And I'm like, I want to check it out. I'm into it. I saw one that was, Jim Morrison was Rush Limbaugh. And I'm like, I don't believe it, but I'd like to check it out. Bill Hicks and Alex Jones. Oh, Bill Hicks is Alex Jones. Yeah, I mean-

That one. Yeah, that one's real. That one's ridiculous. I got one video. If you watch, everybody I've sent it to, they go, okay, I believe this now. Yeah. I mean, it does look like him. I mean, and that would be a Bill Hicks move, in my opinion. I didn't know him, but he's like, you mean I get to talk conspiracies and yell at people all day? I'm into it. Yeah. Have you heard the one about the singer Lorde? She's 25 years old, but people think she's really 45.

Oh, wow. They did one of those. I know a lot of people like that. They did one of those howold.net tests and she came up 45. She's got a birth certificate that looks very doctored, they say. And her look and her music makes her seem much older. So they think she's really 45. Like she weirdly knows a lot about Dawson's Creek. You're like, how do you know that? Yeah.

Marissa Tomei won the Oscar for My Cousin Vinny. Can you imagine if you're Lord and you, A, your name's Lord. Yeah.

Is it Lordy? Lordy? Maybe that's what her old, she goes, just call me Lordy. And they go, yeah, you're trying to be 22 years old. Like, why don't you go with Lord? And you're a young woman that's 22, and people are like, there's no way you're not 45 years old. A whole conspiracy built around it. Yeah, what are you going to look like at 45? I mean, you're lucky to see it.

Oh, Lorde is a 45-year-old male geologist of South Park. Turns out Lorde isn't actually 45. She's just older looking than everybody. That's the worst headline you want to see right there. Isn't actually 45. Turns out much younger. Yeah, we had to really look into it. Yeah. And...

No, she's a teenager. They got her birth certificate. They confirmed she's... Yeah. Yeah, but did they show us? I love when they debunk a thing. I'm like, did you debunk it, though? And you're like, you're still trying to sell records. I think you could... Yeah, what, like...

Yeah, is there a conspiracy? You got conspiracy theories that have been true? Mm-hmm. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was going to end on those. Yeah, that's fine. New Coke. We've talked about New Coke on here. There's some theory they put it out, made it so bad on purpose to drive up sales for the new one. I believe that. You do? Oh, yeah.

Wait, what happened? Does New Coke even exist or is it just all Coke Classic? I don't think a thing would take the risk of that. You'd be too afraid people would leave and go to Pepsi or something. You wouldn't be like, let's send a bad batch out and then we'll do the new batch and it's so good. I think that's a big risk. And I think these companies don't take risk like that.

I just don't think they do. So they brought out new Coke, and it was bad, so people would go, give me the classic. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Oh. They're trying to get you to go back to old Coke. Oh. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You get a lot of people talking about it. I think it's a brilliant marketing move, dude. But who's abandoning Coke, though? It's like... I don't think so. You don't... I know. I'm a Pepsi guy. I'm a Pepsi guy. Right, but you're not like...

Yeah, but Pepsi doesn't need advertising either. Yeah, they don't need. I don't think they would take a chance with this.

All right. It's very funny that this is where the two of you draw the line. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't have to throw out anything that you guys aren't on board with. Yeah, you're like, come on, don't be ridiculous, guys. Aaron, get out of here, you stupid nonsense. You coke. That's well. That's fair. Yeah. Well, that's because you said that one's true. Yeah. So that one, that's where the conspiracy is. We're like, I don't think so. Okay. Okay.

Have you guys seen the movie Black Panther? Yes. There's a Wakanda. Jalen Smith, Will Smith's son, thinks there's a real Wakanda. He thinks mankind's holding back some advanced technology they don't want us to know about yet because they don't think we're ready for it. Oh, I'm into that. Yeah. Yeah. Where is it? I don't know. Maybe in Africa. Yeah.

There's parts in New Jersey people don't know. What's that part? New Jersey smells weird. That's where you keep the, you know, there's parts where you're like, I ain't going over there. Yeah. Yeah, they're trying to keep you out. Yeah, or under the Denver airport. Yeah. Like Atlantis. Yeah. It's in the ocean. I don't think there's people that are smart enough to have this stuff. That's what I don't think. Like, you're not, like, that's the, a lot of conspiracies are like, there's got to be some, that means there's like borderline,

alien smart like they're different species smart that they're able to do all this stuff right under everybody's noses with cameras with everything and you can't even see it like that's the hard part for me is to think like there's you know like the Bush 9-11 stuff is like so you're like everybody not to go into that one but you're so everybody's kept this secret everybody's like you know I still think they're fun to

Yeah. Talk about. Yeah. I'd love to just talk about, but it's like in Mount Juliet, you can just drive around and then all of a sudden here's the biggest warehouse you've ever seen. Yeah. And I'm like, wow, what is this weird thing happening? Yeah. What's going on in there? Yeah. Like, well, that's the thing about like the resources going away. You're like, go drive through the, that's what people complain about population. I never liked that. When people go, it's overpopulated, you go drive anywhere. Yeah.

Yeah. It's the least populated. Like there's nothing. There was – Abigail got me a book of like something. It was like Missing 411. I don't – it's – she said it's a big thing. Oh, yeah. You know what it is. Talk about missing people and stuff. Yeah.

But even when you see the sections of it on the back of the book, they show you where the hot spots are. And you're like, the middle of the country, there's just not a ton. Mm-hmm. Because it's like, there's just nothing in there. There's not. And it's like, the spots are all East Coast, West Coast. It's basically all there. There is pockets of these other cases. But you're like, that's where a majority of them are. You're like, everybody just lives on the outside of America. Mm-hmm.

The most is there. And then the inside, you're like, there's just a ton of room, dude. Yeah, I mean, I've drove through Kansas and New Mexico for hours and not seen anything. Yeah. New Mexico, it was 115 degrees. I was like, if I break down, I'm going to die. Yeah, yeah. But I think the question with overpopulation isn't physical space. It's the amount of, it's a finite amount of resources and energy. I'm not driving through just emptiness. There's trees everywhere.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Lakes. I think it's like food and clean drinking water and things like that. I mean, there's a ton of lakes. How do lakes keep getting filled? By the rain? It still rains. I don't know how lakes work. Yeah, you got water out there. Yeah. You know? And you got an ocean. I mean, they got to figure out how to... Why don't you figure out how to get rid of that salt? Yeah, let's dig around in there. Yeah, why don't they start doing that?

Why would we not do that? I think you can desalinate water. Yeah, but that should be like, we should be like really cooking with that now. Yeah, that should be the main thing we're doing. That should be the main thing. We're scared of losing water, and they say that near the most water I've ever seen. So much water that we can't even go look at it. And you go, let's, we can't, I mean, we're sending people to, in 1970, they called, 69, they called from the moon back to earth.

And the most, our biggest threat is no water. And you're like, dude, we got the most water you can pot. We have more water than land. More than you can fathom. Yeah. And they even landed in the water. We have so much water that we just tell the spaceship, aim for the water. And they weren't thinking, let's clean some of this up. Yeah. Yeah, because I've had my water cut off before at my house and it gets desperate quick. Yeah. Yeah. We need that. What'd you do? Well, I got it cut back on.

But I was pretty crazy there for a while. You pay it. You have a moment of like, we'll be fine. I'll show you. Two hours later. All right. I've changed my mind. Britney Spears was on the White House payroll during the Bush administration. Every time something bad was going on with the Bush administration, Britney Spears would then

pop up in the news doing something crazy like shaving her head or have her kid ride in her lap every time Bush was in the news for something bad. No, that's like that. You know how dumb the population would have to be to be like, we're at a war and they're like, well, we shaved her head. No,

I checked with Ruth. This one's true. Oh, Brittany is. Yeah, she's the one who called her. Yeah. She still has her number. You want to go, what years were those for Brittany? The years someone would act like that? Like 18. She's worth $50 million at 17. Yeah. And she shaved her head at 22. You're like, I don't even believe it. You don't think the media will push stories to the forefront to distract from other stuff? They're not going to put her on the white end. I think there's a difference between that and...

Britney Spears being hired by the White House. They can tell them to push this story. Or like, isn't it people like to hear this story? It's funner than listening to like a war or something like that. But yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I shaved my eyebrows one time at like 19. And if I were famous, people would have been following me being like, that guy's crazy. That guy's crazy. Why'd you do it?

Just to be, well, I was just weird. And I was like, I like to put a hat on backwards and walk through Walmart and show that I had no facial hair at all. Yeah. I thought that was a lot of fun. Yeah. To pull my hair back and everybody just walk around. It was a lot of fun to me. I was craving attention. Yeah. You really grew up in a trailer park. Yes, I did. That's like all I did. Yes, I did. Yeah. Those kids at least would be trying to steal a Nintendo out of Walmart. Yeah.

I'm just looking suspicious. And you're doing the worst thing. I would rather you steal stuff from here than come in here with my eyebrows. I could explain that more to...

I think I started mentioning this. I've never finished it. Marissa Tomei won the Oscar for My Cousin Vinny in 1993. Jack Palance is the one who gave her the award. She was a big underdog to these legendary actresses. And the theory is that Jack Palance was out of it. He was so old and saying crazy stuff that he read the wrong answer. And they never corrected it. They never corrected it, yeah. Yeah. That was a good movie, though. She had a hot scene. Yeah. She saved those cases. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like that...

Ralph Macchio got off. I've never seen it. Really? Yeah. Very good. Joe Pesci's great. So who were the other people? Who did they think should have won it? It was like Vanessa Redgrave and a bunch of actresses. I hadn't heard of that. Well, they're probably all dead now, but this was 20... You would think someone would have...

finally been like, hey, that's... Yeah, but Steve Harvey read off the wrong thing and they made a big deal about it. I mean, I don't think it's true, but that's one that's been out there. I would think this one would have come out by now. Yeah. Maybe they were afraid of Jack Balance. He seemed like a crazy old man. Otherwise, why would they... Like now, why would they want... I watched this, him announcing it. He...

leading up to it he's saying a bunch of crazy stuff but when he reads her name it's very clear yeah it's not like he's stumbling he opens it he looks at it and says people don't think she should have won right because she was a big underdog yeah yeah okay uh because they already did one where they corrected it right yeah just that just happened yeah because they show them the card yeah it was someone would have caught it yeah um the frozen envelope theory in the nba draft

Patrick Ewing was one of the top players in years coming out of college. They wanted the Knicks to get him because New York big market would be great for the NBA. So when the NBA draft lottery where David Stern reaches in and pulls out, they froze one of the envelopes so he could fill around and fill which one's really cold. So he knew to give him to the Knicks. Wouldn't you be able to tell though?

Like eventually it starts dripping. Yeah. It's in a clear thing. And you're like, what's the water in there for? And he's like, yeah. He goes, what's wrong? Nothing, nothing, nothing. He just moves that one to the side. It sticks to the side because it's frozen. He just jams. You're like, well, why is that one stuck on the side of the, you know, we can see through that.

I watched again this. There's nothing that would indicate anything weird about that. Yeah. All right. I went on a few that were true. Mm-hmm.

Oh, I thought all of these were true. Yeah. Except the new Coke. Yeah. Back when Woodrow Wilson was president, there was a conspiracy theory that they were hiding that he was really sick and had a stroke and that his wife was really calling the shots. I mean, there's that now with Joe Biden. People say that. This was true. He had had a stroke.

He was incapacitated. They think for months his wife was really the one running the government. That's not the line of succession either, right? The president and the president's wife. Well, how are things going?

I mean, I don't think they went fine. Yeah. A lot of people think that's happening with this podcast. Ruth is the one that's behind it. Bates had a stroke and this is all Ruth. The government was stealing dead bodies to do secret testing? Yeah.

Sounds like one Dusty would be on board with, right? Yeah, sure. I bet they're doing it right now. Yeah, probably are. It was true at one time. What were they testing? During World War II, when they were doing nuclear testing and dropping the bombs, they would take parts of dead bodies because they need a young tissue –

and deceased babies and children, and they did samples to see how their bodies would react to this nuclear. Oh, I don't even see that as a big deal, though. Yeah. It's like, let's do that. Let's figure out what's going on. Yeah, you could call someone and they go, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, donate your organs. Right. Like, I mean, why would they, if you're like, I'm going to donate my organs, and they're like,

All right. We're going to do this too. You're not like, well, I don't want my skin and stuff. Don't mess with that. It's been a big explosion. Yeah. If I, you know, kind of dig around out here. No, no. I want my insides. You can do every one of my insides. Outside I'd like to be left alone. What do you think is going on in Area 51?

I don't know. I mean, you know, I don't know. I don't know what's happening. That seems like the most boring conspiracy because it's like an alien thing. But it's like, yeah, I mean. That's the one they want you to go look at. Yeah. Probably something sketchy, though. I mean. What if they just had that big area and they're like, there ain't nothing going on there. But like, we make you want to go there.

Yeah, because that would be – everybody's real dumb. I don't even know that I buy the aliens thing. Yeah. They believe in aliens. Yeah, I don't think so. They're saying – but you don't know – what is this stuff that we have all seen? The videos or the – you think there's just like – there's some weird explanation for it. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I don't believe in space aliens. Yeah. I don't think they're out there. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's good. All right. Probably demons. Yeah.

Well, NASA has a lot of symbolism, right? There's some stuff there. Denver Airport. That's where they take off from. Yeah. That's how they tell them where to land. They look for Blucifer out there. The demon's like, hey, where do you want me to come in? I got a great spot for you. Blucifer. Yeah, Blucifer. What is it? The NASA, isn't there something it stands for? The...

Oh, I don't know. I can't tell. That's like you go over and you meet a guy and you're like, what's your name? He goes, Dayton. You go, I don't know. He's got horns. You're like, I don't know about that. It's like Satan. You get it? Dayton. And he goes, hey, your name's Dayton. You go, I don't know if I'm blind. That's Blucifer. Well, Neil Armstrong, first guy on the moon. Neil A. Spelled backwards. Alien. Oh. Oh, yeah. Look at that.

Yeah. And you find the other words and you're like, it can be also spells Fox. There's no X. You mean Neil Armstrong? No, it only works if it's Neil A. Yeah. The thing that nobody ever called him. Yeah. Neil A. The CIA was testing LSD and other hallucinogen drugs in a top secret experiment. Oh, 100%. That was true.

They start by using volunteers, but then the program, I guess not if people weren't volunteering. So they just started doing it with people without their knowledge. Yeah.

Left many victims permanently mentally disabled. Wow. That's crazy. You're doing them a lot, huh? Yeah. Yeah, you got to do just a little bit. Yeah. You know? Well, everybody's doing it. It seems like most people would agree to do it if you're like, yeah, I'll do a little bit. Yeah, yeah. You know, I don't want to do all of it. Yeah, like what's been happening with people? They're like, well, some have been permanently mentally disabled. Well, I don't think I want to do it. I'd like to stop right before that. Right before it. Yeah.

And the last one, the Dalai Lama was a secret CIA agent. Somewhat true. He did work for the CIA. They paid him up to $180,000 to kind of do surveillance on China. They wanted to know about China and the Tibetan resistance. It would be equivalent to 1.5%.

seven million dollars today that they were paying him and they go was that is he dead well there's always a dalai lama this is during the 60s oh i think this is the last one i think this is the last dalai lama oh oh i had no idea that was a guy yeah me too like 180 000 is one point inflation is up yeah yeah yeah

I know gas is expensive. Well, I mean, it is one person, but they're... We're on the 14th right now. Yeah, I mean, I thought it was just a guy. Oh, that guy named Dalai Lama? I thought his name was Dalai Lama. They called him D? Yeah. They go, D-Dog. I mean, I thought he was a young boy in his Dali home. And they go, ah, he's around here. Like that's what I just thought. Lama residence. Yeah. This is the last one?

I don't know the exact – this is some article from 2014. He says he might be the last, maybe the last one to hold the title. He's just shutting it down, huh? He's like, no, I'm not electing anybody else. Wow. Honestly, I thought it was – Me too. I've always seen the same picture. If you told me – that would be a conspiracy. If you go, there's Dalai Lama, there's only one of them. I'm like, yeah, of course there's only one. Like, he's been around forever. Yeah. 14 – when did he start?

This current one started when he was a child, and now I think he's very old, right? He's 86 now. How do you become the Dalai Lama? Born into it? I think you're reincarnated as it. Oh, they just come out and you go on the road. I think there's some type of religious ritual they do to determine who becomes it. There's a movie with Brad Pitt where he befriends, based on a true story, where he befriends the child Dalai Lama. Oh, yeah. What's this headline that you're about to pull up? Yeah. Yeah.

When the Dalai Lama dies, his reincarnation will be a religious crisis. Here's what could happen. Wow. CNN's got the scoop. Yeah. Oh, boy. This is a lot to dig into. It could be two separate Dalai Lamas being chosen, one in China and one in India. Hmm.

That's a lot. Maybe we should look at Dalai Lama more. I don't know. Let's do a Dalai Lama episode. You're like, we're stuck on the Pope over here. And you're like, no, this is real Dalai Lama stuff's going to be at night. You're like, that's weak. Because you're all just worried about that. I'm worried about my pastor down the street. Yeah, this Dalai Lama thing is a problem.

Dusty, is there any that we failed to mention that you wanted to bring to our attention? No, I don't think so. This has been great. I don't, I mean. I love it. Yeah, you know, I'm sure there's many more, but, well, there is many more, but these feel good. Yeah, these are the only ones you're comfortable letting people know you believe it. Honestly, I've said too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. That was awesome. I loved it. Yeah. All right, everybody. We love you. Thank you very much. Jesse Slade. Go check his stand-up on Netflix, The Stand-Ups.

They will be out April. And I'm pretty sure this episode comes out mid-March. This should be, if my baby hasn't come already. Oh, baby might be here. It'll be here. Yeah. Go ahead and promote it. Just plugging the baby. Baby breakfast, March 18th. March 18th, baby breakfast. And yeah, I'll be, whenever this comes out, yeah, this will be a month. I might not be looking like this.

I'm about to leave. February 20th is when it starts. February 20th is I'm gone from February 20th to March 19th or March 20th. Exactly. And so I'm gone for a month. But I'll be starting with my new working out. So I might be a different dude. His barber's got a fitness thing. My barber's my fitness guy. All right. There you go. I'm into it. Like the old times. Yeah. All right, everybody. Yeah, we love you. Thank you very much.

See ya. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetze, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.