#93 Nate & Laura at the Grammys
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Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. Let's go, folks. Welcome. That's the new open with hello. Let's go is this. There you go. You know, it's pretty fun. I just thought of it now. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast, as always, Aaron Weber. And look who's back. Hello, folks. Brian Baby Bates. Welcome back to the show. Thank you.

Baby's good. She's great. She's under the table right now. And he's just rocking over their foot. Like he just, she's doing real good guys. She's in the car, but it's a, you know, it's a little chilly day. So I don't think we can, I think we can leave the windows up. Uh,

Welcome back. We will get into all of this. We had, obviously, the Grammys. You're back. There's a lot of stuff that's kind of catch-up episode. Vandy sent me the new hat with the V. I just changed it. I forgot. People don't like the V. It looks like the Vegas hockey team. But I don't know for sure.

But, you know, I don't know. At first, you're like, you don't want change. And then you're like, I don't know. If this is all a sign of us growing, then I'm, you know, if it's moving forward, if we get a new state, it's all this kind of new thing, then yeah, yeah. Let's change away. Yeah.

So, we'll start off with you guys. That's why we're here. So, we got a lot of comments from a lot of episodes. So, we will get going and then we will get into everything else. Advertising comments. This is back to advertising. I mean, that was like two months ago. Yeah. Crazy. It's been a long time. Inner Ninja should be in the Ninja part. Yeah.

There was an advertisement for Pepsi in the 90s where if you saved up enough points, you could trade them in for a special item. In the commercial, they showed a fighter jet for an astronomical number of points that the company figured no one could collect. Well, of course, someone did, and they sued Pepsi for not gifting the fighter jet for those points. Wow. That's crazy. That really happened?

It was a $33 million fighter jet. Yeah. How many points would you have to... Only Nate could drink enough Pepsi to earn points for a $33 million fighter jet.

Yeah. Did he win? You needed 7 million Pepsi points. Yeah. And for some context, a t-shirt was 75 points. So they thought 7 million. Yeah. How would you get it? What is a Pepsi? The Pepsi points like. Yeah. How do you earn a point? One point a can. Is it 10 points? You know? Yeah. Like what? Oh, look right down there at the bottom. Uh, 1 billion. Uh, a two liter bottle of Pepsi is worth two points. 12 pack of cans yielded five points.

But you could also purchase Pepsi points for 10 cents each. So, I mean, like... You could at least get a car. Yeah. You could, like, so that person, say that person probably just, maybe it's like a rich person, and he's like, well, I'll just buy 10 cents on the dollar.

Seven million. So he spends that to get a fighter jet that he knows is worth $33 million. Yeah. So if you buy those points, that's what? That's $700,000? Seven million and ten cents. Does it say who the guy is? No, it doesn't have a name on here. Oh, Leonard. Some guy named Leonard. Oh, yeah. That's all the information we need. 21-year-old business student at a community college. Oh. I got it going on.

He went after. I guess he maybe didn't buy all those points, but he looked at it as...

He just went for it. Yeah. Y'all could have probably looked into the story more before you just read a comment and figured it out on air. But I'm glad y'all did it. I'm back, baby! Here we go. I know. I think you have some. The first comment has a story to it that we could talk about. And you're like, well, let's just read it while we're taping it. And so people at home, yeah. Yeah, that's good.

Thank you, Inner Ninja. Look forward to you being on the show soon. Jamison Working. Apple has a policy that does not allow bad guys in movies or TV to use an iPhone. Hmm. Hmm.

For all the stuff that they produce, I'm guessing, all the Apple TV and all the movies. Well, everybody has a Mac, so I guess you know a good guy is one. He has an Apple on the back of his computer. That's probably pretty smart. I Googled this. I did look this up. Oh, why would you? Yeah, of course. The one that's self-explanatory that is really like nothing. But the cool one of the story where they got afraid, we know nothing about.

Well, I want us to have some intrigue here. Yeah. There was a director who was interviewed, and I forgot what the movie was, but he said that Apple would not let the bad guys. Yeah, it's pretty much self-explanatory. Oh, my gosh. Explain it again. Yeah, well, you know there's bad guys in movies. Well, if you have to call someone, you're a bad guy, you get an Android. Oh, so Apple has a policy that it's not all bad guys in movies or TV. You use an iPhone? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What about the Pepsi thing where the guy got a fighter jet? I don't know. Let's look at it and read that about it. It looks unreal. 33 million is a manufacturer. 7 million Pepsi points. The jet was a steal. So he decided to go. I mean, we could do an episode on that. And you know nothing more than just what this is. I mean, you've had a baby. You've been home for a month. Yeah.

I don't know if I see a bad guy on a Mac and I think, man, that Mac must be bad. 46,000 cans every day for a year. It's 552,000 total ounces of Pepsi, 2.5 billion calories.

$4 million in expenditure. What is that? Is that the word? Expenditure. Expenditure. Yeah. So what he did was he said, look, it's going to cost $4 million to drink enough Pepsi to earn that organically. Yeah. What he did was he just raised money, bought the points, like we said, $700,000. $700,000. Yeah. That's how much it costs to buy 7 million points. Yeah. Yeah.

He mailed 15 Pepsi points along with a check for $700,000 and $8. I mean, this story is unreal, dude. We need to look into that story. We'll dive into this. We'll follow up. Man, that's crazy. I was up. We could have a bang, dude, just to come out with one of the coolest stories ever.

And just go, did you guys hear about that monkey died at that zoo? Oh, yeah. What happened? No, I just saw a headline about it. All right. Next comment. Let's not read into it more. That was the last comment I put into. That was? Yeah. I was up like at 1 a.m. And I was like, I need at least two comments for every show. And I found that. I thought that's interesting. But I didn't look into it past that. Yeah. Well, that's late to work until 1 a.m. Yeah.

I slept four hours the night before. But, you know, I'm not joking. Well, I mean, I didn't sleep until I get up. I got a baby. You got a baby. That's true. You got a baby. You're the first one to ever have one. So...

I miss this, guys. I miss this. We're already back in it. We're back in it. Yeah. Single moms all over the world somehow figured it out. Well, single moms ain't working on this podcast. That's true. It's hard to read a comment, to enter Ninja, give you just within one second, Googled it and read one article, and it's all this crazy. All right. No, it's been crazy for you.

Talk show comments. Ross Montgomery. I want to see Nate go on Hot Ones. That would be an incredible interview. I would like to see you do that. You ever watch those? Yeah, I've seen some of them. I've watched all of them, but I've seen some of them. I met that guy randomly. We were eating at a restaurant, and then he came up, and we talked to him. He was with a group that we knew. It was cool. I was like, oh, yeah, dude.

Cause that dude's huge. Yeah. Massive. Started low key. Like it was very, like when he sat down, it was like very like, just like, you know, he talked about it. I mean, this was probably a year and a half ago or something, but he just talked about what he was doing. He's like, yeah, we just do, you know, talking about like, he still loves it. And like, he's, you know, you wouldn't think like, and I knew him. You're like, Oh, your thing's huge, man. Like it's so big, you know?

And he's a great interviewer, too. He asks really good questions. Yeah. And you see people try to answer them while they're dealing with the hot sauce. Yeah. And so, like, all the fake, phony media training just fades away. Yeah. And you're like, oh, I'm actually hearing this person talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty awesome. Yeah, it's fun. Matt Lacombe. I've never related more with Nate than after hearing his disgust with Sepidiquinarian. What's the word?

Septuagenarian. Septuagenarian. Septuagenarian. Septuagenarian. I think I announced him. They won a Grammy this weekend. Keep it going for Septuagenarian, everybody. The look on Nate's face as breakfast and Aaron casually discuss the age range for Septuagenarian followed by his what?

And whoever says that at least 15 times in 60 seconds was just more proof that he is the greatest average American. Thanks for all the great laughs each week. I appreciate you guys. Keep it up. Yeah, what did it mean? Somebody in their 70s. Yeah. I mean, they can't even say that. You're making them feel bad. Because it's a word they can't say anymore. In your 70s? You start cutting it. They don't have the time to get through that word.

Time's everything. Once you get in your 70s, you think, I'm not saying it now. When you're in your 70s, I'm not wasting a good two hours of my day just trying to, instead of saying 74. Sexuagenarian. Yeah. Lifehacks comments. Joe Tinty. But it looks like it says Twinty. Twinty, yeah. But it's Joe Tinty.

He put the pronunciation? Yeah. Look at Joe. A lot of people put them in, and I usually just don't add them. Just let you read them. But that one, it's feeling nice. You have a baby, you know, you got a little more sensitive. You go, all right, Joe. That's somebody's kid. That's somebody's kid right there. That's somebody's son. Somebody's son. Mama Tinty could be listening. Yes. Yeah.

I just want to let you know that one of your life hacks came in handy. I drink a specific victory beer each time my alma mater's college basketball team wins.

The other night they won and I was out of that kind of beer. So I had to go to the store to buy it after the game. They didn't have any chilled. So I had to buy it warm on my drive home. I was trying to figure out how I would quickly cool it to drink in the same night. I had your podcast playing and I kid you not right after this thought popped in my head, you all mentioned the life hack of putting a wet paper towel around the drink and putting it in the freezer for 15 minutes. I tried it and it worked.

Although I did it for 30 minutes, if nothing else, your hacks made my evening a little more enjoyable. Have a good one. Well, that's cool. Look at that. I hear helping the world. Changing lives. That's what we do. Yeah. Helping people drink. Yeah. He only has one after his...

Team wins. What if he's like, who's your favorite team? Yukon women's basketball. You're like, oh, so you're an alcoholic. The team that's never lost. Who's your alma mater? Connecticut. Okay. Jeremy Rice. Reese.

The life hack where you cross out words with random letters and numbers works great. I've used this ever since I first learned about it since I'm not involved in a top secret international espionage. I have no clue why I need to use it, but my kid's eighth grade math teacher clearly can't be trusted. What was it? Instead of marking out words that you've written, add letters to them.

Here's a good example. We get crossed this out. If you just scribble through, I mean, you can clearly see. But if you write other letters over it, your brain can't figure out what it is. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's a fun one. That is a good one. If you're writing some creepy, weird stuff. So what do you write? Just like, hello, over it? Hello, folks. Yeah, just hello, folks, over it a bunch. Yeah.

You got to write multiple words over it? I think it looks like they did here in this example. You just write over it a couple times. So instead of crossing out, you got to put in a good 10 minutes of writing a paragraph. It is more time intensive for sure. Yeah. Which I would understand if you're, like you said, if you're a spy. Yeah, if you're that worried about people reading it. But...

He doesn't trust his eighth grade math teacher, so I'll be like that. And I do love that you could just – I hope Jeremy goes into eighth grade math, drops his kid off, and just looks at him. And that teacher looks at him, and they both know that the other knows. Yeah. And then they just have this weird relationship. Uh-huh. I like that. I do like that. World record comments. Nate Heckle – Heckley. Heichle. Heichle.

What? You just said it three different times. What would you say? I'd say Helky. Helky. Helky, yeah. Got heckle on the mind. I'm proud to say that my chiropractor has made himself somewhat of a local celebrity by setting several Guinness records. He is seven, including the tallest stack of donuts in a minute, fastest to drink a liter of gravy, 38.22 seconds.

Fastest blindfolded mile run, fastest time to tie a shoe, most shirts worn simultaneously while running a marathon, 50. Most consecutive viewings of the same movie in a movie theater, Captain Marvel 106 times in a row, and fastest marathon and roller skates. It shows you that you don't necessarily need to have a skill that no one else on earth has. You just have to be creative.

Oh, wow. And you're like, how is he as a chiropractor? He's decent. He's decent. You know, that's not his main. I wouldn't say he's crushing it, but he's not bad. He's got a lot of stuff he's working out to do. And when he goes and watches that movie 116 times in a row and you're like, Doc, my back is killing me. He goes, I don't know what to tell you.

I'm on, when I get done with this Captain Marvel movie, I will come. Is it Captain America? No, it's Captain Marvel. That's what it's called? When I get done with Captain Marvel, I'll come. He's like, well, what are you at? I'm at four. You're going to watch 112 more times. His old practice goes under. And he goes, I mean, you have so many. Why did you need that one too? Fastest blindfolded mile run. Yeah.

Tallest stack of donuts in a minute. I feel like I could. Imagine seeing that guy run with a blindfold on. Someone's like, what's that guy doing? You're like, I don't know. It's my chiropractor. I'm going to see him next week. I mean, just, and he's doing all this stuff and you're still only somewhat of a local celebrity. What town do you live in? Like, I hope you should move to a smaller town where you should be a much bigger celebrity. Cause you've done a lot of stuff. Yeah.

I like it. I'll go to him. Yeah. I'd love to go to him. Your chiropractor was an Olympic athlete, wasn't he? Yeah. Mine won silver. I only did it for a little bit. He won the silver medal in the silver, silver, I can't even say that. Silver. Civil War. Civil War. Yeah. He doesn't have any world records, though.

I might. I mean, he won a silver medal in the bobsled. Is that all of them are in there, right? I think so. Yeah. I'm guessing the gold medal would have the record. Yeah, but I'm saying throughout his career. Okay. Like there's other little weird kind of things that he could want. He was a sprinter. And so they get a lot of sprinters to go...

to get them to get into bobsledding because the ones that are not fast enough to actually like they're fast enough, obviously, but then there's another level. And so they're like, well, just come here and you can do this bobsledding. Have you heard this new, this new thought experiment going around the internet that I've been obsessed with Usain Bolt versus Joey Chestnut. You have to eat one hot dog and then run a hundred meters. Who wins?

Usain Bolt, obviously faster. You got to swallow the whole hot dog. You got to eat the whole hot dog. You can eat it at the beginning or at the end. Oh, yeah. Whenever you want. It's tough. Oh, the beginning or the end? I think the end, Usain might have a chance. But, I mean, what's he going to run? Just five seconds slower? That's right. So it's like, but he can maybe eat a hot dog. Considerably more quickly than Usain Bolt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Joey Chestnut's got it. Yeah.

Yeah, that one's not bad. You like that better than the doors versus wheels? I mean, that was just, you know, someone like how much you think about it and you're like, all right, dude. Well, you know, there's a wheel inside a wall. Okay. All right. That's the point of it. But like cabinets are like doors, right? Yeah, we'll call them doors if you want. See, you're doing the same thing. We've got some comments in here about that. Okay. All right. We're waiting. Can't wait. Can't wait.

Per Jellum. Hello, folks. Greetings from Copenhagen. When y'all talked about the world's tallest man blending in, I really related. I am 6'9", and remember vacationing in Maryland. Everyone from the passport lady at the airport to the guy on the street would come in on my height with a do-you-play ball at Baltimore Aquarium.

They had a machine that would measure you and compare you to an aquatic animal. When I tried it, it went, you are six foot nine and a half. You're the size of a baby killer whale. And after a pause, it said, you should play for the Celtics. In fact, I am an operat... Wait, what is that?

operatic operatic tenor operatic i've never seen that word i guess it means of an opera an opera yeah an opera tat operatic tenor and i'm trying to find out if in fact i might be the tallest professional operatic tenor in the world most tenors are short so i'm working on it would be a fun thing to have on my website uh yeah

I mean, if anybody knows, I would imagine you have to be. There's got to be, what, like eight of you? And no, I don't know. There's got to be. I mean, there's probably a gazillion tenants because of the bands. You've got to be. Most tenants versus how many wills. Who knows? You're probably the tallest person to ever live in Copenhagen and vacation to Maryland. Yeah. Probably the tallest person to do that. There's a bunch. He might be the tallest person.

I mean, are you the tallest that ever is in an opera? Maybe. I looked at Per Jellum's website. Yeah. Oh, really? He's a pretty tall guy. Yeah. Six foot nine. Yeah, he hovers over the tenor. He's a tenor. Yeah, could you be the tallest singer? Is there even a singer that's... None that I can think of. Like that's legit? Yeah. Like you might be way more than just... You're thinking too small, Jellum. Yeah, Jellum. I think you can go Per. Per.

I think you go for a lot more. Mm-hmm.

Who vacations in Maryland? Well, I'm sure we go to Copenhagen's Maryland when we go up there. Whatever their Maryland is? Yeah. Their Baltimore. Yeah, we go there and see. I bet Maryland is pretty awesome too. There are parts of it that are okay. That's just a funny place. You live in Denmark. There's parts that are okay. Let's go to Baltimore. I know, but Maryland's bigger, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a whole state. Have you been to Maryland? I've driven through it. There you go.

They went to the aquarium, Baltimore Aquarium. Yeah. They had nonstop flights. You could get the Southwest exit row where he – I'm the guy that needs it. I'd like to just see his flight situation. What does he do? You got to get that seat with no seats in front of you. Yeah. On a Southwest flight. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's – yeah, that's tough. I think he could be a – yeah. As far as our book goes, you're the tallest singer that's ever lived. Tallest Nate Land fan ever.

That I know of. If you're taller than 6'9", let us know. Yeah, could you Google tallest singer? Tallest singer ever. I mean... Here we go, Aaron. Thanks for jumping in. Shaquille O'Neal. She's a rapper. Shaquille O'Neal. Orlando. Sorry. Charles Kelly from Lady A. He's 6'6", so he's close. But I mean, Peter Steele is 6'8". Who's Peter Steele? Steely Dan. He's from a gothic metal band, Type O Negative. He's 6'8". He's got you beat by one inch.

Per Jellum does. Per Jellum 6'9". Oh, that's right. Yeah, you got it. Peter Steele Bill. Go on, Notre Dame. I went to Notre Dame. We didn't do heights. I didn't take a height class. 6'8". And he doesn't sing. Oh, is he? He is a singer. Yeah. That's probably a loose definition of singing. But still. Do tallest opera singer. But still, he's shorter than Per Jellum, so I mean. Hmm.

Yeah, they come in all shapes and sizes. Well, yeah, okay. Yeah, they do. No answer, just the answer is they come in all shapes. Many are surprisingly short compared to the impression we have of them from video performances. These are our sources. This is from a Reddit account that they've since deleted it since they posted this comment. Yeah, was there another thing? But it's like, what is the highest? No.

That's the highest voice. Yeah, what is that? Australian one? Yeah. Yeah, just click one and see. Okay. If y'all could jump in and help out, it'd be great.

Bates was doing great now. He's already back on board. Shifted. You know how many times you go, I wonder what it is as you sit in front of that computer. Yeah. And you just go, all right, let's move on and not try to be fun about it. Don't you think sometimes it's more fun to just leave it open-ended?

Sometimes. But the point of this is to be entertaining and funny. Right, right, right. So it's not supposed to be like, I wonder who the tallest opera is. Okay, next thing. We're not just giving, like, this is not called homework for the entertainer. Like, if everybody's at home, it's not like, guys, look up who's the tallest opera person and you do the work. Tell us next week. They go listen to these ads. They do us a favor by all that stuff.

And they're supporting us. But you guys let us know because it's difficult when we do it. Okay. I'll look into this. I'll get back to you. Yeah. It's been three months. Uh, for Joe might be vacationing here.

Who goes to Maryland? Better than Baltimore. You and him should go to the Baltimore Aquarium, and I think you'd have a good time. I'm sure it'd be real different from the other aquariums I've been to. You think you're the size of a baby killer whale as well? They said the same thing to me. You should not play for the Celtics. Yeah.

They start asking you, how did you get out? They think, we actually think you are a baby killer whale. How are you even doing this game right now? Founding Fathers and Supreme Court comments, Steve Savage. Stasevich? Stasevich. Israel Bissell. I don't know. Joe Biden. Joe Biden.

Israel B-I-S-S-E-L, who actually rode over 300 miles to Philadelphia to warn of the war. Paul Revere only rode just over 10 miles. Revere, however, had a better name that was easier to rhyme and sell as a hero. A man who wrote the book about it was actually good friends with Paul Revere and kind of created this folk hero narrative. Israel Bazil kind of got left out of history basically because people thought his name was dumb.

I'm glad to hear that's been going on for a long time. Because you think like, you do think like all back then they were like, figure it out. And you're like, it all boils down to like, ah, it's a lot, dude. What's that guy's name? And then they, you know, that is crazy. Paul, let's just go with Paul. Paul Revere. That's crazy. Actually rode over 300 miles to Philadelphia and no one, I mean, I care, Israel. They should have called him Izzy. It's all about, you know,

It is funny. Yeah. I mean, he looked at Paul Revere as a joke. Rode 10 times. No, 300. He rode 30 times as much. Wow. On a horse, right? Yeah. 300 miles. That's, you know, golly. And Paul Revere, I mean, stepped out of his door and yelled it. I think something's happening over there. That's all Paul Revere did. Am I crazy? Did y'all hear that? And he goes back inside.

Dustin James. Hey, guys. Big fan of the show. I really enjoyed the last episode about the founding fathers. I went to the National Archives a couple of years ago and was stunned to find out there's a handprint on the Declaration. I asked a guard who nervously said it was somebody in the preservation department who handled the document without gloves several decades ago. Thought you guys would like to know. Man.

That's a tough one for that person. To leave a handprint on it. Wow. Yeah. And just be, I wonder if they, you know, do you fire them? Yeah. And if you're like, well, that's not fair. You're like, well, that's, you know, really the main, the only thing we have a pretty strict policy about is don't touch it without a glove. Have you ever watched Antique?

warehouse what is that show road show and then you're just like don't like you know that's got cheeto dust all over his fingers you could also say why was it out like that like why was it so out that they were like some guy just walked in you know there you go uh jacob kladinski maybe someone's like they're like we maybe no one noticed and you're like let's put it back yeah

Yeah, just put it. You couldn't do anything, you know. It's like one of those things. Someone starts shaving and they get too far. Then they're like, well, I guess I got to shave. And they start doing it. Next thing you know, you're like, just make up a fake one, dude. No one knows. Do you know who Israel Bezos is? He goes, no. Exactly. Jacob Kludzinski. Kind of like that name.

I work in the appellate practice of a law firm in Washington, D.C. Someone said that to me. Would you know what that means? I know what the appellate courts are. It's for appeals. Oh. That's what the word means. I like how you emphasize D.C. Yeah. I would be like, oh, man, what's D.C. like? That's what I would say out of all that.

Oh, D.C. is one of my favorite cities I go to. That's exactly what I would say to him. Never talk about his law firm ever again outside of that. I would dare to be no. It would just be moved on. Part of my job is to coordinate and file briefs at the Supreme Court. Our office is just a short distance from the court, so I often listen to the podcast to and from filings. You can officially say the Supreme Court episode of the Nate Land podcast has been played at the actual Supreme Court. I like that. That is amazing.

He would have to get that. He would have to tell me about that. Like, where you live in Washington? D.C. doesn't matter, Nate. I'm here to tell you something that you are going to want to. Oh, okay. And then I was like, yeah, I'm glad you told me that. That's cool, man. We're basically Supreme Court judges. Right. We're not far. That's all it takes. Heartbeat away. We're closer than most. Just a heartbeat away. By the way, the biggest opera singer I can find.

is Boris Gadov at the Metropolitan Opera. He's a Finnish bassist.

There's a bass there, 6'7", 260. So the fact that this other person, Pergellum, is 6'9", and the tenor. Yeah. Strong case for the tallest tenor because I can't find anybody else taller. Strong case. Tenor's a higher voice. It's a higher voice. So bass is like, yeah, there's probably a bunch of them. There's going to be bigger guys that are going to sing lower. Yeah, that's a section that they got to spread them out a little bit, the bassist section.

Do they have to? A little elbow room? A little elbow room. Oh, you need a little more room for sure. You're like, do you guys want to sit on the actual floor? And they're like, why? He goes, no reason. I think it's fun to have you guys down front. He goes, all the bass singers. He goes, all right, that seems kind of rude. He goes, it's not crazy. We just don't want you up at the top. I think, yeah, he's got a, Pergelum's got an amazing shot at this. To ever be involved in opera. But, you know, we will find out.

Ninja and Samurai comments. Ezra Lerner. Perhaps I have become too PC, but when I initially saw the title, I was a little worried that the Ninja Samurai episode would be disrespectful to Japanese culture. I am happy to report, however, that there was nowhere near enough information presented about samurai or ninjas for someone to say something insensitive, even if they wanted to.

I learned more about ninjas in the Magic Treehouse book I read in elementary school, and yet I love the episode. I'm thrilled to have a podcast I can come to when my brain needs to cool off. There you go. We're too dumb to get insensitive. Yeah, there wasn't an opportunity for me to say something bad about it. When your brain needs to cool off, I like that. That's a good way. That's a good way to say it. Your brain working too hard out there in the real world? Yeah. Yeah.

Come wind down with Nate Land. How you doing? Welcome to the wind down part of your day as they go. Just zone out. We're basically like one of those tanks people lay in, float in that water. What is that? A sensory deprivation tank. We're like that. We're that of podcasts. Just float off in the...

Dead Sea, which is basically where the Dead Sea of podcast. Isn't that the one where people float? That's where we are. Yeah. Where the Dead Sea of podcast just like kind of just felt calm. Mm-hmm.

Uh, Matt Greenwald, how often do you not finishing? Uh, how often are you not finishing a bowl of cereal that you would even need a garbage disposal, let alone a toilet? I've never fished. I've never not finished one, two or three bowls of cereal in one sitting. Flushing cereal is mind boggling.

Well, it's hard to get it down when you know the outcome is you got to flush it in the toilet. So I would have trouble with that. I think that would make me sick to my stomach. And then I couldn't always get it all down. Or, you know, if you're a kid, yes, right now, right now, what was the thing?

Matt? Matt. Matt Greenwald. Yeah. Right now, Matt, I've never not eaten a full bowl of cereal. But as a 10-year-old, there's probably millions of times I don't want to eat. I'm just like, okay, I got to go. Bye. And I'm trying to get out of there before I have to flush it. Dylan King. Hello, folks. I heard Nate on a Geico ad, and at first I couldn't pinpoint the voice. But then he started reading how he does on the pod, and I smiled.

Yes, I am on a Geico ad. A couple of radio ads, right? Yeah. We went in. I got asked to do it. This comic I knew a long time ago, Roger Hills. He's a great dude, very funny. And he wrote it with me in mind. And so we did it. It was in Salt Lake. I did it when I did the shows in Salt Lake City. And one night before the shows, I just went to a recording booth.

and just kind of ran through it and did all of them. Yeah, it was fun. It's neat. That stuff's neat. It's like just a lot of people have hit me up. I haven't heard it yet actually on the radio. Me neither. But it's cool. That's awesome, man.

Sydney Horn. My wife Kaylee texted me a trailer for a new game called Aperture Desk Job. I can't say this. And asked, does this sound like Nate? To our amusement, it turned out you weren't just a voice from the trailer, but the main character throughout the game. We just finished playing it and it was great. You were hilarious as Grady the... Gary... No, it's Grady. As Grady the Robot. Thank you. Yeah, there's another one I did.

That was very cool. I was like, this kind of stuff is like very exciting. What is that? So it's a Steam Deck. It's basically this video game that they're making like their Nintendo Switch. They're making their Steam Deck is making their version of kind of that.

And the people that did it, I think they did Half-Life and they did a bunch of Valve. They did Half-Life, a bunch of big games like that. And this game was actually very big. And so I'm the voice of the robot. That's you right there. That's me right there. Yep. And then it was cool. Does it play? I don't even play it. I can find the video. These are just screenshots. There you go. That's a pretty good idea. And then...

Yeah, I'll pull up the video. Yeah, yeah. And this is a ketchup episode, but let's look into it as we... Just... Yeah. All right. That's my bad. I should have said that to you. Yeah, yeah. That's all right. Here you are, Nate. This is good talking once this loads. I mean, let's do introductions later. You should really already be... It's like you're doing the exact same thing you just did to us. You are a...

Yeah Yeah, that's so cool Yeah, it's awesome. It's neat. I mean, that's the stuff that I always want to do. It's like that. I

You know, you're getting like a Disney movie. Like it's like that. I love that stuff. That's that was so cool. And then when I saw it, when it came out and it was like, wow, this is crazy, dude. I have not played the finish. I haven't played the game yet. I think they're sending me one. But yeah, it's crazy. I mean, you know, I don't know what they do. They make a new one or I don't know. I'd love to be a part of it more. It was very cool.

And that stuff is like, you just go in there and do it. They say it. The guys that was in there with me that did it, they're just, they're so good. And so, like, they're very supportive. And let me say something. They're like, that's so great. Do it. Now say it like this. You know, it was just cool. Very fun. Spencer Day. I would love to hear Nate describe the plot and main characters of well-known films he's never seen. His description of Harry Potter and Dances with Wolves had me dying.

I posted a video of you last week talking about how you'd never seen Dance of the Wolves. And then a previous episode, you talked about your favorite scene from Dance of the Wolves. How y'all watched it over and over. Well, so I think we just watched that scene. I didn't watch the whole movie. Oh, okay. But I saw that scene where he's like, he's like, what is that? What is that? Put that in your book. So I remember just seeing that as a kid. I don't, I didn't watch the movie. And then, and I don't remember anything. So I,

I don't know. I would watch it, and the only thing I would remember is that scene. Justin was absolutely right. It is so similar to Last Samurai. It's both Civil War soldier, disillusioned, and then meets this other culture. At first, it doesn't like them, or doesn't know, and then becomes one, basically. Yeah, yeah. It's so similar, the plots. But one is Kevin Costner, one is Tom Cruise. Yeah. There you go. Yeah, I don't know what's another movie.

That you could do a description of? That you haven't seen? Yeah. Shawshank Redemption. Yeah. I don't even know. I know they're in a prison, right? Yeah. I've seen a picture. So it's guys that are in a prison. That's a good start. It's guys in a prison. Yeah. What happens? Someone needs redemption. Mm-hmm. And I guess his name is Shawshank. Yeah.

Mr. Shake. Johnny Shawshank. That's Morgan Freeman's character. His wife wants to get him out. And then he's been wrongfully accused. That's part of it, yeah. And then the other guy that's in it.

that's pretty famous. It's like, well, let's get him out. Yeah. I don't even know. I don't, I don't know what he needs. You're not super far off to be honest with you. I need to watch it. So don't tell me. Okay. I see it all the time. Every time I see it, I go, it's like a whole thing. It is a whole thing. And then you're like, so I got to be in the right, like kind of whole thing mood. You can't be tuning in and out. It can't be secondary. No, no. I would say at this point, there's no way it can live up to your expectations. That's just not true. It will for sure.

I bet I could like it. You know that one, No Country for Old Men, I didn't see until very late. And that's one that you told me about that I'll watch. I watched some of it again last night. I did too when I was feeding Eleanor. It was only like 1 a.m. Who's Eleanor? Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, it's great. And then that other one you told me about, the blood, where there be blood or something. There will be blood. There will be blood. I don't think I, I think you told me about that. Hell or High Water? Hell or High Water?

yeah i've only watched that once it's some reason i don't want to go back to it and i think i want to then i'm like i don't know yeah it's a whole thing it's a whole thing if something feels a whole thing to me but there will be blood it's like daniel day lewis is like i just can watch him he's unreal in that he's just so like intriguing to watch and you're just like i you know i like hearing him i like it's uh

I didn't watch Lincoln, and I should probably watch Lincoln because he's in that. He's just so good that you're like, I could watch this guy forever. Now, last week you were kind of making fun of method actors. Yeah. I think you called them character actors, but you meant Method X, right? Yeah. He's the ultimate. So he probably wouldn't be a fun hang, but... I think he would be...

Out of all of that kind of world, I think he's got to be one of the better. Because he just ducks out. It's a dude that comes in and does his job, and then I don't know where he lives. I think he has a pretty much normal life outside of that he's the greatest actor maybe of all time. Yeah. And so he just seems crazy. Jared Leto is, I like 32nd of Mars. Enjoyed that song, one song. Yeah.

I listen to that a lot. But like, and I get like, he's great too, but then he's also like kind of mixed in in the Holly wood kind of world. So I'd almost be like, at least like if you're going to do it, then go do it. I don't want to hang out with you. And then you're like, after four months, you're like, yo, what's up, man? Good to see you. And you're like, no, dude, you made me real weird.

For that whole thing. And now you're going to just act like we can just go sit and watch a UFC event together. Yeah, yeah. And then know that I know that when you're filming a movie, I can't even call you for six months because you're going to be a hello and answer it real weird and talk something. And I got to be like, do you want to go when the movie's over? McGregor's fighting. Would you like to go? I guess I would like to go to the, you know, and you're like, all right, dude, I can't. Do you ever see the movie My Left Foot with Daniel Day-Lewis?

Okay. About a guy with gout? I don't think it's gout. But it's about a guy who only has control of one foot, right? Yeah. And I've read stories about when he was preparing for that role, he would live like that with only his left foot. Yeah. In a wheelchair. See, I think I, like, I know I'm contradicting myself. I guess it's, there's the only two I know. But I think the end of the deal is he doesn't, like, you don't, you have to read about that.

I'm sure it's like he's preparing for his work and he does it. I wouldn't think he would be a bother. Is there stories of him being a crazy person? I don't think he's a bad... I know when he would go eat, there was him wearing the Lincoln stuff and he would wear it. But it's like...

But he's got to go eat. But I don't think he was like – I think people respect it. It's like being around Michael Jordan where you'd be like, yeah, that dude's intense. You're like, well, at least I'm getting the greatest thing ever out of it. Right. And so I understand it because you're like – I think Jim Carrey did that with Andy Kaufman. Yeah. I think he was like a problem because he was Andy Kaufman all the time. He wouldn't turn it off. Yeah, and was just difficult to work with. Yeah.

I could see getting – you have to get into it. I understand the commitment to it. I get it. It's like just – like I said, just do it. Just be like – I kind of need my own – if I want to make this, this comes back to me, I think people just should say stuff. I just think, what's the nicest way I can do this? I'm not against doing it. It's like, but what's the nicest way I can do it to not bother the people that I don't – they shouldn't have to – when you go walk around –

You know, when you see this stuff, like even now, like I've seen some of this world, it's like, you feel like the guys that work at all this stuff, they're all very like, when you walk up, they're like, Oh, Hey, what do you need? You know? And you feel like they feel very like they get just like told, don't be a bother to any of the artists and all this stuff. And you're like,

It's like more like, you know, you're like, I don't want to, that guy, that guy, I'm that guy. Yeah. I just got very lucky with this, that this worked out. But I mean, I would have done his job. Like, I don't. And so you want to be like, no, dude, get what, you know, they help you when they want to help you. But then you're also like, I mean, I want to sit and talk with you too. Like, it's not that big of a. So I could call you? You can. Yeah, we call.

Somebody posted, I think it was Matt Oregon posted that Lawrence Olivier did a role with Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman stayed up for three nights straight to get ready for the role because he was playing a drug addict or something. And he shows up on set. He hadn't slept in three days. And Lawrence Olivier said, have you ever tried acting? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Basically saying, what's the point of that? Just act. Just act. That's very funny. Yeah. Yeah.

I get, if you're playing some weird thing, I understand the idea of commitment. I think about when working out, like if you go work out, you don't want to work out. If you go into it going, I don't want to do this. It's very hard. But if you go into it, when you see those guys work out and it's like, like, it's like they got like their, their energy when they walk in there is like a gorilla. And they're just like, I'm here to get like, and I think you work out better that way. So I under, I,

understand the reasoning behind it, it's like, well, what's the solution to be like? I don't want to tell you you can't do that, but also what's the solution to be like? How do you not be a problem for everybody else? You know what I mean? So your solution was just put them all in a cage.

But my solution is just let them be in one part and be like, these movie stars can get whatever they want. And I'm sure they do. But you're like, yeah, just like we've created, I want a world created over here. And then Jerry, you know, he's like one of those bulls that they have in a cage. And the guy's in the middle. And you're like, I don't know what to do. And you're like, then you're doing it. So like do that and then put them back in that. Then be like, let me go back. This is what I have to do. At least keep me alive.

You're like, I'm going to be a nightmare. But the only way for this to be good is for me to be a nightmare. So I have people that know how to deal with me when I'm this kind of way. So let me just be in my world over here. I don't want to be... I would even maybe go meet everybody before and just like, hey, I'm a normal guy. This is just how I do it. I really appreciate it. It's like just have some humbleness about it and then be...

But maybe he does. I don't know if he doesn't. When I was on set for my TV show, I didn't want to be talked to. And you remember, I was in that cage, and I was like, just let me stay in between takes because I was in the zone. Because you were a method actor. That's right. Yeah. That's good. You played a serial killer. Yeah. Yeah. I heard you got a look at the... I did. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. Did you really? You got a look at the show? Yeah, yeah. How's it look? It looks good. Awesome, dude. Yeah. Greg, I hung out with Greg...

Redding, California. And so we hung out and then he was like, tell me about it and stuff. And he showed me like just the clips of y'all and stuff like that. Oh, that's awesome. And I read the script. It was cool to see it with the script just because I read the script when he wrote it before it got sold. And I was like, this is so good.

Yeah. And then, I read the pilot. And then, so it's neat to see it and then be like, I mean, he's just like. I can't wait to see it, man. He's like a guy, that's like a, he's Daniel Day-Lewis type. Like this dude, he's a problem. And, no, but he's a very, yeah.

He would never... He'd be mortified me even saying this, but he's another level of like... This dude's really like a one... Like unreal talent. And... But like the most... I mean, he does stuff where you're like... I mean, I would be like, just take a flight. He's like, I'll just drive 14 hours. You're like...

I'm not even saying you should fly private. I'm saying like, yeah, I don't know, dude, go fly Southwest or like, just be normal and make it easy. I'll just drive 15 hours. Okay. Uh, I told you, let me use this trailer when I was, you know, I was just like, he's the best dude. He's the, he's the best. He's the best dude. And, and is so good. Uh,

All right, Elizabeth, if you're thinking of doors versus wheels, then you have to consider all doors like kitchen cabinets, fridge doors, appliance doors, dollhouse doors, etc. Fine. You're still fine with it? Yeah, that's all part of it.

That's all part of it. We'll count all those as doors. I still think wheels wins. I think you're going to spend a lot of time arguing about wheels more than doors. So I think I would spend a lot of time going, like, come on, man, that's a wheel. It moves in a wheel. And you're like, okay. Because when I said the other doors, I go, what about these cabinets? Are these doors? And you go, all right, that's fine. Just make those doors. Yeah, count those. Yeah, you said it like...

The same way I'm saying about wheels. You're like, yeah, yeah, I'll count that. We have a, you know. Count them all. All right. There's no way to find, is there a real answer to it? I think the fact that Lego makes a hundred million wheels a year. Yeah. Has to make them a favorite.

Is there a way to get to the... No, that's kind of the fun of it is that it's just a thought experiment. There's no real answer. What if you guys actually put this effort towards jobs and creating stuff? You think that would be... What if you did that? You know what I mean? There's no answer to it. So what's the point of even talking about it? It'd be a lot less fun. It's fun to... How much do y'all not have to do that you like to... Did you come up with this? No, he's talking like I'm in a group that came up. Yeah. Like that you like to debate this...

And then you're like, yeah. You debate something that can't be solved. What was the other one that you did that you said earlier? Joey Chestnut versus Usain Bolt. That one's like... That's a fun one. That's a fun one, but it doesn't lead into just mindlessly... I just look into the first one that you're like, well, a nut is technically a wheel. You can wheel it. And then you're like, all right, dude, I can't.

you're just throwing stuff out of my, out of everything. You're like, my aunt, my aunt's got a fake knee. There's a wheel in there that I'm like, Oh God. So she's in the house and you're like, yeah, she lives downstairs. Uh,

Nick Braunwell, wheels versus cars might be a close race if you kept it domestic, but wheels win by a landslide. When you remember our friend, the shopping cart, think of how many sharpened carts are in every one store. You know, think how many doors are in every store. How many sharpened carts can there be? Hotels. Hotels is where the doors are. Yeah, but there's more wheels in a hotel than doors. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't like that there's an end to this. Like, there's not like a... What do you mean? That there's not an end? Yeah, there's not like a really nowhere to go. It's like, I would want the clarification of what a wheel and a door is. So if you start picking apart wheels, then it's kind of like, all right, now I've got to choose cabinets. I mean, I'm thinking of like a door and like a...

Tire wheels, what I was thinking. And shopping cart wheels, I guess you could do. But it's like wheels that move something and they're rolling. Office chair wheels? You count those? I guess, yeah. It's a tough one. And then it's like you're just, now you're down a spiral. Then I'm already out. Robbie Amron says,

A-M-R-E-I-N. ISIS isn't palindromic, Aaron, but luckily I still love you. That was a word I was real excited to use, and then I realized right away. You ever say something wrong, and then you realize it, but it's too late to correct it? No. So you just...

Never admit defeat. Yeah. Just move on. Okay. I don't know what you're talking about. So is a palindrome a word that's spelled the same? It's spelled like race car. It's like spelled the same forward and backwards. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Dimitri Martin has the world record for longest palindrome. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So ISIS, you said ISIS was? I said it's palindromic. Yeah. And it's not. I mean, it's clearly not. Sisi. Yeah. Sisi. It's the opposite of what they want to be.

It's actually an insult. You know, you call y'all backwards, you'd be in a group of them. And then you're like, Ices, you know you're a palindromic. And he goes, oh, what's that? It spells his name backwards. And he goes, what does it mean? You go, sissy. Then you're just dead immediately. Yeah.

Before we get into Grammys and move on, let's read these ads. And always we say thank you guys for supporting this. This does support us and supports the future of where we're going with Nate Land and stuff like that. And this is the start and you guys are a part of it. Welcome back, everybody. It also does this. Oh, man. They know that. This is the Grammy part. Yeah.

Here's my, I don't know if you can see it close. It's the, they give you a nominee medal. And so I got this sent to me a couple weeks ago. Nice. So I will have always have this. That's awesome, man. Grammy nominee. And what do they tell you? I mean, that's a line that's, you're going to be introduced that way forever. For the rest of my life. Yeah.

I'm a Grammy nominee. Grammy nominated comedian. You look like Kramer with his motorcycle helmet. I'll be honest, wearing this helmet when I did this. Well, let's go ahead and bring my wife in, Laura Bargetzi. All right. First time on the long time. No, I want to say the opposite. First time caller, long time listener. And no, no. I always looked at it the other way. I always want to call into a place and go, uh.

First time listener, long time caller. The opposite. He just called in. Uh, so, uh, yeah, this is the helmet I wore, uh, balded at blizzards in Charleston, West Virginia. So we went, I'm sorry, I don't want to get ahead of you. This was all your idea. So this was my idea. Uh, so wearing, wearing the helmet was, uh,

So they were going to do it. I might take it off because I can't. No, please leave it off. Oh, leave it off? I think it's great. Yeah. So this was my idea. I would say take it off. Well, it's already off. Okay. So, and I feel protected. I think this is, you're supposed to take this off, but I think it looks cool. I don't be bothered.

I'm a Grammy nominee now, dude. I can't even go out in public, so I'll wear this. I'll be honest with you. Wearing this, I think if I'm not a comedian, I could wear this on the red carpet and they would just be like, oh yeah, that's what someone's doing. He's making a statement. I mean, there's like... Yeah, I would fit in. If I wore this helmet on the red carpet...

I would have been like, I don't know if they would have talked about me. There's so many other people. They would have never mentioned it. They would have been like, oh, that one guy wore a helmet. They're like, I mean, how many helmets do people wear every year to the Grammys? 30? 40? So we did. So it was my idea. So I saw, so when they presented all this stuff and they,

I was in, I got sent like the script of like what they're going to say. I did a pre-ceremony. My award, mainly all the awards are done on the pre-ceremony. There's only like 10 that they do on the other one.

And so sometimes comedy gets into the pre the real one. And sometimes it doesn't. And it's like, I think it was in like the last three years. And this was the year that it wasn't. So, uh, they, I get the thing and they were going to, and, and, uh, LeVar, what's the name? Yeah. LeVar Burton. He had, uh,

They read in his script to say, this next presenter is a comedian. So he had that keep your hands in, making a little fun, silly joke about that. So he said that. I started thinking about, well, what can I do?

You know, and I was worried, like, at first I thought I could walk out with, like, security or something or, like, do something kind of like that. But it's like, it needs to be simple. It needs to be silly. This is not the most original I get thing in the world or whatever. It's like, I know all of that, but I know I'm also the first comedian to present a

since that happened that last Sunday. And so I know everybody's like, well, I'm tired. This is social media. I don't think it's everybody else. Social media is its own people. But it's like social media, the kind of world's like, well, I'm tired of talking about it. You're like, well, obviously, dude, people still have. This is the second award show. So it can't be like you're tired of talking to your friends about it. This award show has to somewhat address this. Mm-hmm.

And, you know, as I've said the week before, I'm a big Chris, you know, I'm on Chris Rock's side, as I think most people are. Uh,

man, I don't want to just go out and like trash Will Smith or something. And then, so, um, I was like, oh yeah, I'll just walk out wearing this. And then we told the Grammys and they were very cool. They were like, look, we'll let you do whatever you want to go do. They're like, could be a risk, but you can go do it. So when he brought me up, I mean, he was getting laughs with that thing. And then when I walked out, it did good. I mean, we're in this room. So that room is like 2,500 people are in this room during most of the day. We're in another separate room doing this. But, but,

But when I went up, it was basically at the end, the last probably 12 awards or something. So now the room is much, much... I mean, it's like a quarter full, if that. And so if there's 2,500 people there, I think it would have been a big laugh. But it got a pretty big laugh. But I mean, there's, I mean, I don't even know, 200 people in there maybe? Yeah.

Like towards the end, because now the Grammys, the doors are open. It's all kind of everybody's kind of go switching, going over there. And the only people there are really the people that are still being nominated.

The Grammy, it's very cool. They've seen us behind the scenes and seen how they run it. So I came up with this idea. I sent it to, you know, you have a publicist. My publicist is Rob Greenwald. He's a great dude. He was with us the whole time. And I sent it to him and he sent it to the Grammys. And then they're like, all right, you can do it. Rob's like, I think it's funny. Rob was like, we were getting other opinions about other people to be like, is this stupid? Is it like, am I dumb for doing this?

And then I was like, yeah, it's just an easy, you know, it's like just an easy joke. I wanted something to be stupid, something to be silly. That's what this was. I thought of, I wasn't, I'm not making a statement. It's like everything that I do, like I'm just being, you know, I made fun of like this would just the point of it. It's like, why would I wear this helmet is because it's stupid. And so why would I wear it? Like I said, it just highlights where you would hit me. It would do nothing. It protects my hair.

And so that was a fun part of it. And I truly believe everybody's taking it like that. They took it as fun. Right. I thought what Trevor Noah said was like, we will keep everybody's mouth was perfect. Trevor Noah, I thought, did unreal at hosting. What did he say? He just said like, we're going to get out awards. This is going to be a concert with just awards given out in the middle. And we're going to give out awards. We're going to listen to singers. We're going to keep everybody's.

names out of our mouths and that got a big laugh and then whatever and then quest love said something too when he went up and he said like uh just keep 500 feet away from me but it was like i thought it was like it just ended up being perfect that you're like oh the grammys did it great where it's kind of like putting a button on it being like let's move on and they just everybody knows everybody laughed with trevor noah trevor noah is

I've hung out with him a couple times. One of the nicer dudes you could ever meet. I mean, a great person. Very, very friendly. And I know if people could not like the political stuff, whether you like it, you're on his side or not on his side. But overall, I can just tell you, he's a great, great guy. And I think he really showed it hosting it. We were watching, and it was just pleasant. It was nice and fun and fun.

He just kept it moving and stuff like that. So, yeah, I think it ended up working out. The response was great. The way. The audience, the shots of people in the audience. Yeah. I mean, it was really. Laughing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I am going to tell you, it's hard for me to hear, but. Kept your hair nice. It did protect your hair. It did. Yeah. I love it.

So where were you, Laura, when all that was going on? They had like a backstage area. So I was just sitting from like 12 to what time? We were there. So this is me and Laura. That's us at the Grammys. Do you have that other picture of on the red carpet? That's us before. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a good one. We could sit now. What's the other one that's got? No. Yeah. Where's the one with the red carpet? Is it?

People ask me because they were like, they wanted pictures of her.

Oh, that one. Yeah. The sun was in my eyes. I mean, I went out early and the sun was like, some I could make it, some I couldn't. That other one before that, the other one before that was a good one. That's a good picture. It was just kind of sunny and I was like trying to do it. I don't know how to smile either. New headshot. Yeah. There it is. I have no idea how to smile. Yes, you do. Amber Lehman. Lehman.

She was our stylist that got us this kind of thing. People always ask us. She helps me with a lot of my clothes. I know I'm not trying to talk about stylists and all this stuff. But when you go do all these shows, it's like you try to wear something that's kind of...

Not insane. Right. Who are you wearing? I don't know. Who are you wearing, Laura? We don't know. We don't know. We're not. Yeah. It's just two kids from Applebee's. So we don't know what we're wearing. Joseph A. Bank. Yeah. Burleson Co. Factory. Yeah. It'd been great just to be, you know. What are you wearing? Dillard's.

I did say that and all my friends said, no, do not go to Dillard's and get your dress. So, yeah, Laura looked unbelievable. I'm a big fan of her hair like this. Yeah, Laura. She was nervous about it, but I loved your hair like that. Thank you. And then, yeah, Laura looked awesome. She had a walk around those. Professional.

Yes. Yeah, what was her name? She was great. Genevieve. Yeah. From Los Angeles. And then she was awesome until they came. I mean, it was the whole Hollywood experience. And then so we go. So we had to, I was in Charleston, West Virginia the night before. It's so funny to go. And it's like doing a show with those people. It's so awesome. And you're like, these are the people I want to hang out with. And then you go to Vegas and you're like, it's the complete opposite. Yeah.

And then we're going to Poughkeepsie this week and Buffalo and Syracuse. But it's, you know, so it's like, here's a little bit of like,

I uncomfortableness. It's cool to see all this stuff. And then a little bit of like, I don't know. You're like, I like my buddies. And you're like, you know, if I had a, you know, I mean, it's me and her there, but if like, we had like a group with us, that's our buddies. And then you're like, oh yeah, that would be awesome. Yeah. And rich day was there, but he was sitting somewhere else and there. So we, so we had to get up at eight.

7:45 or something. And so 8:00 AM to 10:00 AM was getting ready. So I had Eric- It's called glam. Oh, glamming. Yeah. And then so Eric, who's my barber trainer, Eric Miller, he came with us. He cut my hair and did my beard and stuff like that. And then she sat over there and did all her hair stuff and makeup and all that stuff.

And then, so we got ready from like eight. We went to the car like 1030 and Netflix was cool. We had a car that just kind of, because you just like, you ain't ordering Uber afterward. Like it's kind of a whole thing. Right. And it's a zoo. So it's like, you just kind of need it. So Netflix was cool. And so we set, we get there, we had to do a COVID test, negative, positive.

We did a COVID test. We had to do one before that, too. They changed their mind. And then they changed their mind. They added the day of COVID tests. Yeah. And so the day of, they're like, well, we're going to do them again. You're like, all right. I don't, you know. And so we did that. We got there, like, we left the hotel at 1030, got there, and we were like,

And then I did the run through. I walked on stage. I had the helmet. They said, I'm going to say this. And the line, it looks like my face is just open. You can hit whatever. That wasn't in the... Oh. I wrote a little bit of a longer thing. And they were like, just say they require comedians to wear these now. And so I was like, all right. So they just cut it down. They're like, you don't need all the other stuff. And then I was like, if it gets a laugh, I will...

I'll, you know, and it got, it got a laugh that I was like, oh, and then I'll just say like, oh, you just highlights my face. And then I said, all right, this is stupid and silly. Like, cause it's like, I want it to be like, all right, like, this is not, we're just having fun. I was just trying to make a joke. Like I get, it's funny. As you see people, we'd see some, I mean, it ended up being everywhere, which is kind of cool. Like, uh, the,

It was, I mean, it was like they, you know, it was on debt. Like, I mean, it's like that picture, people on debt, people in Australia, like everybody was sending it on all this news cycle of like comedian wears a helmet. You know, a lot of them are saying my name, which is nice. Some say comedian and some are saying my name. And so you're, you know, it's at least, you can say, I saw someone and I won't say who,

but they, uh, later on in the night and they, uh, I went up to him, never, I haven't met him yet. And, uh, he got introduced and he's like, Oh, Hey, I'm Nate, whatever. And they go, uh, they go, Oh yeah. Uh, you wore that helmet. I go, yeah. And they turned away from me. I don't want to say who it is, but I'm not a fan anymore. Uh,

And it was very funny though, just to be like, Oh, did you wear that helmet? I'm also nominated for the Grammy. No, no mentioning that stuff, but yeah. Was it Shay? Yeah, it was Shay. Was he there? No, no, no. He, uh, they've been, they've won and theirs was on that pre thing. So I think some can make it, some can't. Yeah. Brother Osborne was there. I know them. And like, uh, so I was there, I saw them when they won and, uh, all that. Uh,

And so it was, yeah, and we just kind of sat backstage to kind of watch it.

And there's enough going on that it's kind of fun to watch. I mean, when you're there in that live ceremony, I mean, we were there from 11 to like, you know, we were hoping to maybe go back, like being able to like have some pockets where we could leave and go to a room or whatever, but they don't, you know, in some of this, there's a lot of accepting on the behalf because not everybody makes it. So there, it's like the, these ward for the part I was on, they're like, it can go super quick. It can go super fast. Like this,

it's probably going to be somewhere in the middle but we don't know because even by the time you get to the wards where it's like the guy before me uh which i think was jimmy allen right jimmy allen jimmy allen that did i mean i think almost all his he had like if not yeah where they weren't there so like his part was and he was very funny he was like he was very funny with all that stuff and then uh so all his stuff was like super quick and then uh

so then when I went up there, I wore the helmet, got a laugh, whatever. I took it off. You know, you don't want to, I don't want to take away these people's moment and like wearing a stupid helmet. And the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't mind if you wear a helmet. If I win, you can wear, you can do whatever you want, but you're like, these are, this is a special thing, you know? Yeah. Uh,

And it was like the classical music category. Yeah. They're pretty serious. Yeah, they're very serious and rightfully so. And so I took it off. I said it. And then so then I know that I mean, there was, you know, I got some names.

Like, it was like. You got some tough ones. So we went through it at the beginning, too. This person, like, helped me, like, kind of pronounce the names and how to say them and stuff like that. She was awesome. Very, very nice. But, yeah, the classical group is a tough one to get. Well, Jimmy Allen softened the ground for you a little bit. He was giving up on some names, too. He was like, I can't pronounce them. He just showed an envelope. Yeah. He asked somebody for help.

Oh, he did? Yeah. Oh, he just showed it. He goes, this person won. And then he showed it to someone and they said their name and they came up. Oh. Yeah, it's...

Yeah, I mean, it's tough. It's like, you know, and it was like, I don't, I was like, I don't want to just do a like, whatever this name, like, or feel this kind of like, you're blowing this person off. And yeah, it's like, I mean, I didn't win a Grammy and they did. So like, I thought you did a great job. I mean, honestly, to like, get, I looked at the names as you were calling them out. And I was like, I don't know how to say that. I would just go, I knew if I could slow down. So I go slow.

And they didn't put, I don't think the title was in there. Maybe it was. But so what I would do is you're hoping when I was up there, I was realizing that once the first name was said, a lot of times the person would stand up and start cheering. So then you can kind of just kind of trail off. And so some of them, I was kind of doing that where it was like, I would say the first name and give it a beat to try to see if they stand up and cheer so I could trail off.

But then a couple of them, they weren't there. And so I'm like, I say the name and I go, and then I just keep reading more of the name. And then you're, I'm like, all right, this didn't work like I thought it was. And so you would do a mix of both of that. But luckily there was a few people that were there. One group that won, she's like, oh, I love the helmet thing. She was very nice. I don't know if anybody saw it. There's a lady in a blue dress that walked up and said something and

And my mom, you might have wondered too. My mom wondered, she said, what'd she say? And I was like, oh, she said she liked the helmet thing. And then when the models came up, it's always, it's crazy. You know, I'm trying to talk to them.

And you don't – I just don't – I think as a comedian, you just don't know how to not talk to – you're like, so what's up? I'm just asking stuff, and they're like, don't talk to me. They've been doing this for four hours. Yeah. And everybody's kind of – but so when I got the envelope, we turned and looked. I was standing on my wrong mark. They have a mark of where you're supposed to stand. One says model. One says the presenter. And I would just be on a mix of both.

Not on one at all. Towards the end, I finally was like, oh yeah, I got to stay on this side. They would always go to their mark and I stood to the left of them sometimes, not supposed to be there. It's a very simple kind of just go stand here. And then I think I'm in the way of them seeing the TV and I'm trying to bend down. Yeah.

So I would, but when I got the envelope, I would open it. And so I could like, I could open it and I would just look at the name real fast of who won. So I would, it's kind of practice in your mind. Just like, cause you hear the person saying it, that the, the, the video is saying the names. So it's like, if I could get it,

I mean, I was like, sometimes I would go meet the model. They weren't even to their thing yet. And I would go kind of run and meet them and just go back just because I'm like, I got to get this envelope open because I can't. You know, I might miss the first two names. Sometimes I would read it and I was like, oh, that's going to be a tough one. And I stood there waiting for it and it never came. And I realized I didn't hear the first two. And I was like, oh, so this is one of the first two? And I didn't hear it. And I'm like, oh, I was like, I'm not focusing. Yeah.

And so then I just go to the, this is all in my mind. I'm like, dadgummit, why didn't you listen to that first name? And then I go and just kind of say it. But overall, I think it was good. It's like you go through the names and stuff. But it was awesome. And so after that, we went into the red carpet, which, I mean, am I supposed to read these comments? Are they answering? No, you're answering them all. We answered them all.

I was going to say, I texted Brian during it. I go, how crazy is it? What a weird moment. Nate just accepted a Grammy on behalf of Yo-Yo Ma. Yeah. Think about just that. Yeah. It's crazy. Proud to accept it. We did a lot, me and Yo-Yo Ma. And Emanuel Axe. There was one group, an opera group, I think, that came up. And they were very colorful. Yeah. And you're like, I think you said something like, look at this. And

And then they came up. It was very tall. It could have been per jellum for a lot of them. Yeah, it might have been. And they were very excited to be up there. But you did a great job handing out the awards. Yeah, you're like, look at it. All right. It's just a lot of my little dumb sayings that you're going to look at this. All right, here we go. It's happening. I'm just saying, you're kind of weirdly saying all this kind of stuff.

Well, one observation about the crowd, like you said, it started out really big. It's like a – unless you have kids that do dance recitals, you won't get it. But it's like a kid's dance recital. Once your child dances, people start to file out. We open mic, we – Yes, exactly. So it's like once their category was told and whoever won, the whole category would leave. And so the room was getting emptier and emptier by the moment. So all that was left at the very end was –

The whole rock category and then your category. John Petista was still there because he was up for something. Oh, I didn't see him. Yeah, yeah. It was kind of weird. Like I saw – because I could see him, obviously. I mean, he won everything. But this one award. But it was like – so I would look at the name before because I'm trying to make sure I can say him. And he's nominated for an award and I can see him there. And then he's like looking and watching. And then I look at it and like – and he didn't win. And –

You don't want to look back up at him. No, it was crazy. It was kind of weird. His friends were making a video, and I'm already like, you're not going to win. Even if it's five seconds, you really don't know until you open that envelope. And so I was trying to – I don't know if you're – I guess it's okay I'm saying this. But I would open it. No one saw it. I did it very – I just was trying to make sure I –

I just want to do my best at giving these people the respect that they deserve. And, but it was kind of crazy to be like, I know who he is. And then, so then to look and see him and it's like, is he going to win? He's winning everything. And just, I have the moment of going like,

Oh, you're not going to. He cleaned up at the nighttime show. All right. He won album of the year. Yeah, he had the best speech of the night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He won. Yeah, he crushed it. Yeah. He had a very big night. But it was just kind of crazy. Because I don't know who the other ones really are to look at him. Yeah. But I could see him and there's not that many people left. And you're like, you know, it's like, I mean, look, I didn't win. So the person that could open my mouth, they know I'm not going to win. Yeah.

And, you know, and we don't win. It is. I had an amazing, we had an amazing time. And, you know, it does hurt not winning. I mean, you try not to let it, let yourself get to thinking that you can win. You really, really do. But in your head, you're like, I can't believe I'm even here. Right, right. And then...

You know, there's a mix of like, well, I'm the only comment presenting on this thing. You're like, do they do that? Yeah. I truly don't think that they don't know. There's it's people. They say that they don't there. It is, you know, because my even my publicist is like he thought there was like a system to be like a lot of the people that were there were winning. And then he's like, all right, maybe they're only invited that presenters that are there, you know, but then he would be like, no, then five wouldn't.

And so it's, it's very mixed. And so it's truly, you don't know. And, but it was like, you know, when it happens, it was a moment, like right afterwards. I mean, yeah, you kind of just like,

I don't know. You feel like it's so hard to even get to that that you're like, just let me win so I can just – I don't know if I could ever get back. You will. You'll put on a special next year, and then two years from now, you'll win the Grammy. I got this. The Grammys do an awesome thing where they say in the thing like –

you are always, you know, it's something you get forever is you will always be introduced as Grammy nominee. And that is, that is extremely special. And that's like, you take that with a grant and there's way more, obviously Grammy nominees. And so that's the win is the, is just to be the Grammy nominee, Grammy nominated. It's, it's insane to say it. And, you know, and I reminded myself as that, as I,

You know, I, you know, it was just, you really do in the moment. You're just kind of like, you know, it's kind of bumming and you're just kind of like afterwards, you're just like, I don't know, you know, the whole day you're thinking about it. You're like, what if I win? Like, and you know, and it's kind of like, well, what am I going to say that I don't want to think about what I'm going to say? Cause I don't want,

to, you know, have this speech that I'm going to go, then I don't do it. But it's just mentally just trying to be like, I don't know what to do. And, uh, and then, uh, Louis one and Louis special was great. And we don't know people in it. Some are not thrilled, but it's whatever, whatever it's a, we're not getting that, but it's there. Uh,

But it was a moment of just like, ah, you know, all right. I was proud to be where I was at. I got there as a stand-up comedian. That's the one thing that I kind of thought of. Like, as you kind of think about it, you're like, yeah, dude. A, how obnoxious do I think I can be that I'm, like, annoyed I didn't win? Like...

I'm lucky to even, we worked at Applebee's waiting tables. This is all past insanity. So I need to get off the high horse to think I even, I'm not deserve this. I'm not owed this. You try to remind yourself of that to be like, why don't you chill out for a second, dude? The fact that you made it here is insane. And then it was, what was I going to say? What was I saying?

Just about being nominated and how it's... Oh, and being nominated as a stand-up comic. Yeah. There is something of that that I thought of and I was like, you know what?

I've never acted. I've never, I don't do any of this other stuff. I only got to the, and not saying that it takes away from anybody else. I hope to act and I will get other stuff, but it was, uh, it was nice to be like, I made it this far with just this one thing that I know how to do. And so I did feel there was, I did feel good with that. I was like, you know what you did? It's crazy, dude. And it's insane. And, uh, it,

And so it was like, you know, as we went on, I was like, you're like, yeah, dude, this is, this is unreal. I won. It's like, you're a winner and like this. And, but you know, but it, you did, you feel a little self pity right after, and then you just knock yourself out of it. And by the end of the night, I was like completely great. If you'd have won, would you have thanked me and Aaron? Uh, no. All right. Uh,

I would have, you have 10 to, they want you out of there, dude. And you're, the thing is, and those, when you're thanking people, like when you're at the Grammys, you know everybody's there. Those people at the end, when they're thanking, I mean, there's not that many people there. Mm-hmm. And those people want to go. No one in that room, I mean, you want to hear your award, but everybody's ready to go. Mm-hmm.

And so it's not like it's, I mean, you're doing it for the camera. You're absolutely doing it for the people that need to hear it. And I mean, I would think by, you know, Laura, my family and all that stuff and her family, that's been always super supportive. And,

Netflix, agent, manager. Netflix, agent, manager. My publicist was there. I mean, try to go run through that. How much time would you have needed to get to Millionaire? I mean, I don't know if I would do it on this podcast. I have two hours. So...

They're telling you to stretch. You're like, I'm done. I go, no, no, that's it. I go. I promise that's everyone. Put the helmet back on. I go, I made it even though being bogged down by Brian and Aaron every week. The opposite. No, but there's part of me that you want to thank. I want to thank people. Then there's part of me that I'm like, I don't know if I, next time I would probably just try to come up with a joke.

And I would just try to do a joke and I'll think everybody properly, like on my Instagram or on this or like, you know, something like that. And just try to like, just be like, just go be funny. I mean, you do want to thank people cause it's crazy that you got there, but there's part of you to like, just be entertaining. Like just be funny. Kind of a wasted moment if you didn't. It's a way. Yeah. Just go up there and be like, say something, you know, I mean, I make fun of myself. Like you'll go up there and make fun of myself and be like, whatever, you know, uh,

And then you say, I'll thank every – and there's a lot of people obviously behind this. Because in that moment, you do want to – like, yeah, dude, my parents sacrificed a lot for me. Like, Laura sacrificed a lot for me. Like, Harper has to go through it. Like, my brother and sister, her family. Like, there's so many people that do all this stuff for you. And you don't want to start it, and then someone feels left out. Yeah. That would be horrible. Yeah. Like, oh, you said him, but not me. You can't think of – yeah, there's so much that you could –

think of and who you could think of. And so there's part of me that thinks like the next, like this one, I would have thanked people. And if I ever get lucky enough, if I ever get lucky enough to even get nominated or even a go again, I would probably try to just be like, well, how can I get people to laugh? Like what joke can I do? That's very funny. And then just go up there and be really funny. And then that kind of thing.

Did you meet any famous artists, musicians? We didn't because everybody's really trying to get in. You know, you had like...

They said, and I'm sure they all went to the red carpet right before. We went earlier and kind of right when it opened and quote got out of the way. Yeah. So because they said it was crowded and backed up and all this. So we were like. We were there so early. It's like, yeah, when like Justin Bieber goes and all those people go, it's going to be, there's just a line. Yeah. And. And it was hot. Yeah. It was like almost 90 degrees or something. So it was best that we just did it. So we went very early. And like, so they were like, let's just go do it. Because then now we're done with it.

And so we took one or two pictures with her in it. We don't know where that picture, we're trying to find it. The pictures were taken. I think they were barely taken. That was like a plan for me to go in and then come out. But I think I left too soon. Yeah. So yeah, he was like just a professional picture, but.

Yeah, we got that. Someone took the picture. See that little X he's standing on? They were like, goat, not that one. See that? Oh, there's the marker right there. That's the good one. So you have to walk in. They say stop on every X, and there's sets of photographers as you go down. So they were like, Laura, do one or two of them. And then they were like, come back. And I was like, no, no, I didn't get my second one. Was it fun? Yeah.

It was fun. It was interesting to see the behind the scenes. I think that's what we had the most fun doing. It's like watching all the staff work, watching all the publicists work, watching all the camera crews and all the like ushers and the, the seat fillers I thought were hilarious. Oh, that was awesome. They are like, you know, the person goes, Hey,

Come to here. Oh, you go that way. Oh, you come this way. And it was just like, you know, really pretty girls in these gorgeous dresses just running to seats and sitting. And then someone looking at them crazy. And they were like, sorry, I just got told to sit here. Because people would go to the bathroom and then come back and

They're all dressed up to the nines. And then so, yeah, we would have like some person next to us, like this dude would get up and go to the bathroom like the whole time. He was looking for people, I feel like. Yeah, that guy was looking for people. He was in like a...

he was taking pictures of everything, editing the videos during the gray. Yeah. I think the post on his Instagram and then you're like, all right. And then, so after every, every commercial break and they come out in the commercial break and they go, all right, everybody, four minutes and 30 seconds commercial break. And, uh, so we would get up and go do, you know, someone would get up and people go to the bathroom. I stayed the whole time. And then, uh,

You went to that once at the end. Yeah. But when we went in, so we do the red carpet. So next time we will be like, we want pictures of...

uh, we, we, we got it. We got at least one picture, but we don't know where it's at, but it was like, it's, we didn't get a ton. Yeah. And like, uh, so, uh, and then I got to go through it, you know, for whatever, you know, for the other reason. So it's like, you're just, it's a kind of a whirlwind. You're just going through, it's like, look over here, here. And I go to the next thing here, here. I mean, every picture is the same. My only, my different, uh, my only different, uh,

views were did I squint or not squint and that was that's my model looks blue steel yeah blue steel was like is he squinting not squinting so you were on the Huffington Post it's like the best dressed I got best dressed in

It's like a list. I got a list of like, here's where the best dressed. So I was Huffington Post best dressed. L-E-L-L-E. L Magazine. L Magazine. And then some other, what's the other one? For the Dillard. The Dillard suit? Yes. Yeah. It's a good looking suit. It's not a Dillard suit. I think it is. I know. I know it's not. But it's, but like, yeah, but it was. I think it was Paul somebody. Yeah. Just Paul. No, Todd. Todd Snyder. F Tompkins. Snyder. And then. Yeah.

So, yeah. So it was, it was, it was that. And then we did, uh, uh, so yeah, I mean, I was like already on the, you know, best, you know, kind of best dress list. That's awesome. Very cool. That's pretty cool. And then, uh,

And the first comedian. That's a really good picture. After the Chris Rock thing. Yeah. I think so. I think that's true, but I don't think there's ever been one. I mean, no one really said that. No, but I mean. That's me saying it. Yeah. I feel like it's got to be true. Yeah, I think it is. That's true. Because it was just a week later. Yeah. So we do the red carpet. Then we do art. Then after red carpet, we go back. I do all this stuff. And then when I go back in, you know, I had a couple people come up and they say, oh, we love the helmet thing. It was cool. And then, yeah.

And then we go in, we go stand in line, we get two Diet Cokes, two pretzels. We haven't eaten at this point. It's 4.30. And I had a smoothie in the morning is all I had. And then, so it was 4.30. So we eat real fast. We just sit over there in the corner, just eat like a bunch of...

You know, they're basically like, you know, whoever worked at Apple will be staying in this section. That's all they had. It was like the Predators game, you know, where they have like pretzels, popcorn, candy, drinks, if you want. Yeah, everybody just got drinks. No one got a soda. We were the only ones.

like salted or not salted. We go, come on now. What are we doing here? Nacho cheese cup. Yeah. Come on. I don't want to spill it on my dress. So we go eat it there. We went to one other part, eat into the section, saw the guy from million dollar listing, uh,

uh, one of the British guys. Yeah. Which we were fans of him, that show. Uh, and then. I saw Shaggy. Shaggy. Uh, yeah, you see, I mean, we're kind of sitting behind. Shaggy, the rapper? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, there's Shaggy. You see Justin Bieber walk, like he comes kind of, we're like fourth row from those tables. So Justin Bieber walked around, went to the bathroom and I saw Justin Bieber. Then when he came back, he ducks, he has to duck down cause they're starting and like he has to run to his seat, duck down. Uh,

You know, you see some, like all that kind of stuff. I'm not the best with music, so I obviously don't always know who everything. Brutal Mars was very funny when they did their, that speech was very funny. Anderson pack. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That guy, that was very funny. Yeah. And his was, it was, it was great.

And the show was great. All the performances were so unique and creative and really well done. Even if you didn't love the music. It was just a really cool show. It went by very quick. And now we're there, so there's a lot of stuff. I mean, we saw people get kicked out. Really? You can tell it's either some kind of something that's like, well, my client's up there, and I need to be up there.

And they made the lady leave. And they're being so nice to them. And you're seeing, it's fun to see like the true divaness come out. And you can see, and it's not really, it's not the artist. Usually I would say it's a lot of it's not. I'm sure some of them are. I saw some other artists that were. But it's a lot of the people around the artist.

And you hear him, she goes, well, that's my client. I just want to see them win, whatever. And you're like, I don't even know where you, A, there's no way you're her like main client or you would be up there or something. Like, you know what I mean? Or there'd be, you know, whatever.

And then this lady was like, once she ended up being drunk, they said. Well, they kind of body moved her out of the way. Oh, they grabbed her. And they have to like, she ain't moving. I mean, she was in her face. They didn't grab her. They just moved her with their own speed.

security guard bodies. Yeah. Almost like, yeah. They were just kind of pushing her. Just steering her where to go, which is the opposite of where she wants to go. Yeah. They finally got her out and they were like, excuse me, to the like other security. We think she's highly intoxicated and she goes, no, I'm not. Yeah. And then I think they took her like out, out. I mean, she's my client because I am relaxed.

And they go, but you got to relax. She goes, you relax. And she wouldn't move. I mean, she's talking this close to the security guard's face. And she goes, why don't you relax? They were a very nice turkish. They were very nice. Because they would shoo her away and then she would just come back. But it was pretty cool seeing all the security guards and the staff, the ushers there. Because it's like Las Vegas. So they're like kind of, you know, I don't know, like.

They look like the mafia? A little bit. Yeah. So they're like really cool looking and perfect, but like super professional. Like, no, you're not getting past here. You go that way. Right. I don't know. It's cool to see. But if they needed to, they could drag you out to an alley and beat you. Yeah.

Yeah, they got them. But like, yeah, they would get that lady out. They do it where it's like with a purpose, but not being mean and rude. And I'm listening to the whole thing because they did it next to me. We were sitting on the aisle. And so this is all happening. I mean, I'm basically in these conversations.

And so you're like... The teleprompter was right by your head. Like right behind us. So if someone said something, you know, it was like, oh, they were rude to her. You're like, no, no, lady, you were unbearable. You yelled at them and was a problem the whole show. Yeah.

You multiple times were just – the whole show was you trying to get up there. Yeah. So that makes it all go by fast too. And then, yeah, and the seat filler thing was very cool because they would just – you'd have to stand up and they'd come sit next to you at one point. I wanted to do the Kramer like if someone catches us together, you're going to have some explaining to do. I almost should have made you leave just so I could –

Well, that guy that left a million times, we had two or three seat fillers sit next to us and he would come back. And I mean, people don't know that's who it is. They think it's just someone else sitting in their seat because they've been in their own world, not watching it like we were watching. And so they come back like, this is my seat. And she's like, I know, I'm sorry. You know, and she would run away. Yeah, you get up all the time.

Yeah. You see a ton of like. There's a ton of moving around. There's a ton of moving around and there's a ton of like, you see that world where it's, you know, a lot of people think they're important. I can't imagine. Oh, it's wild. And look, the artists obviously do think that, but it's not like them. You see a lot of people that are somewhat near them.

I'm sure they know the artist in some form or they've got this ticket or they did something and you feel a lot of like, you know, like what's that word where entitlement. Yeah. There's a wild amount of entitlement going on and you can just feel it. And it's all people that you're like, did you like none of us or anybody? And you're like, and then some of them, you're like, you're not even, I don't know a performer. I don't even know. Like you're, I don't, you just maybe know a guy.

And then there's a lot of that. That's fun to see. I enjoyed it. I really did. I would go again like –

Like, just the whole thing was very neat, and to see it all work. It feels like it'd be really fun to pop your head in this world every now and then, right? Yeah, yeah. You can't be in it. No. I don't want to do... Dude, there was... I don't want to get in conversation. I mean, I could see... I said who I knew. I know Questlove from Fallon. I told him, dude, he's the greatest. He's like, did you win? And it was before we announced it, and I was like, no, not yet. I was like, they haven't announced it yet. But...

So Quest is like, he's the normal dude. The Osbournes, the brother Osbournes, they're both normal dudes. But, you know, I just said very quickly, they had a crazy whole day. And then, but yeah, there was so many. Like, I walk into a green room and you're like, well, I can't sit in. I can't even imagine. Just to, you know, it's like two artists talking about the importance of music. I was like, well, I'm not going to handle this at all.

at all of just, it was, it was really fun. Yeah, it was really fun. But then it was just me, Lauren, our provost. We would just go sit out in the middle of the table. Eat pretzels. I mean, but yeah, I'd walk into some and you're just seeing, you see them walk in, dude. You just walk in. There's just like, look, I've done a lot of stuff where I've had my agents and managers. You got a lot of people that follow you and they're in your kind of group.

So I understand that. When I go on the road, we have a lot of comics. We'll walk around. I'm not against that, but it was like just seeing someone walk in and they're like, a guy's carrying their bag and then someone's behind him. And you're like, it's like, what's the devil Prada movie? The worst Prada? Yeah, it's like, I don't know if I've even seen that movie. Isn't that what that is? Describe it for us. Yeah, it's like a devil. No, it's like, what's her face is a devil? Meryl Streep. No.

Yeah. It's about the leader of like a magazine or something. Prada. So it has nothing to do with Devils Are Pradas. No. Well, Prada, yes. Okay. So, but like that, where it's like, you know, like, you know, there's one person I saw and like he just had like his assistant was just, would flip out. I mean, he would get fanned a lot. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah. But he had his own fan and then...

I think he did at least a lot on his own. He actually had a great... Good for him. He was very nice. It seemed... You see sometimes backstage, you can see a little. You can see him get a... It's kind of fun to see. I like to think that they're not all like this and it's in this moment. But it is kind of fun to see. When you get into this business, you always hear about...

divas or people that are monsters to work with, you know? And I always want to be like, well, I want to see that. Like, what does that mean? What do you mean? Cause I've seen where people think people are this way. And I'm like, well, they're not, they asked for one thing. And then that venue, uh,

Just says, well, they blew it up and they said, well, they wanted, they wanted, they asked for a blanket because they're a nightmare. And you're like, well, it's very cold in your green. I'm always cold in there. That's why I wear a sweater. And you're like, and maybe get a blanket. They sold the show out. Like, I don't think it's crazy, you know, but then they, you know, for whatever reason. So sometimes you want to see it.

It was good. It was good. Yeah, it was awesome. We had an awesome experience. Awesome time. It was very neat. You know, just two kids that met at Applebee's. Now look at you. Crazy. That is crazy to think about. Yeah. It's crazy. It's awesome. Well, I wear this in front of her every day. Yeah. And I sleep with her until I wake her up in the morning. Make my breakfast. Yeah. I go, can I have breakfast? She goes, can you make it? I go, yeah.

If you have one of these, I will make it. But if you don't have one of these, I'm not going to make it. Thanks. That's awesome. You can go. Thanks. Thank you for coming. Thank you, Laura. Yes. I hope I helped. You did. You did. All right. And finally, we'll wrap it up. We're closed with the big news. You got time? Because we're past. Yeah, yeah. We're doing it. Yeah.

You know, I mean, this is the thing that I think is more impressive than me being nominated for a Grammy. More rare. More rare. But Bates has a baby. Wow. Eleanor. Yep. Bates and Brian and Ruth. Eleanor Marie Bates. Lovely, lovely girl. Little daughter you brought in. Yep. It's been a whirlwind, I'd imagine, for you.

It has. She was born March 21st. So yesterday we had our two-week checkup and she's doing great. Good. She was five pounds, two ounces. And we thought she was going to have to go in the NIC unit. That's what they told us the whole pregnancy. Yeah. But then she was born and she's a little bit heavier than they thought. And nobody say anything and they give her to us and we're like, all right, no one's taking her away from us. Yeah. And we were so excited. And

Yeah, it's great. She lost a little weight at first, which all newborn babies do. So she's been in the four-pound something range, but yesterday she was back up to five pounds, three ounces. So she's headed in the right direction. Yeah, did a couple drive-thrus. Did a couple drive-thrus. Yeah. She...

Just like us folks, you with your gout and you with your dyslexia and me with everything else. She has a cleft palate. Okay. So at first it was hard for her to eat and feeding her was trouble. But now we've got that figured out. Got a new bottle. We got stuff going on. So she's doing good now and-

We met with Vanderbilt Children's Hospital today and they're going to get that treated. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. In time. Yeah, I mean, they have like a good thing now with that stuff. They do. And I feel so blessed to live in a city that's got great medical treatment. They've got a whole wing just for cleft palates. Oh, really? Yeah. So it's great. It's great. And yeah, it's been a whirlwind. Yeah, I know that's hard, especially when they do have a, she's eating good, she's

Sleeping good? She sleeps. I mean, I didn't even realize this because she sleeps almost all the time except when she's eating. So we actually have had to wake her up.

to eat. And we do it every three hours. And it's really hard. She's getting, starting to wake up a little bit more on her own, but it is hard to wake up a perfectly sleeping baby. Yeah. You don't want to. You don't want to, to make them eat. She doesn't want to eat, especially early on. Cause, and it's just a huge fight. Yeah. And you're just like, golly, can you not let her sleep a little bit longer? And then somebody suggested, well, maybe I should let her eat every two hours. I'm like, are you crazy? Yeah. I mean, we should be going longer, but the pediatrician says, no,

three hours. And I, uh, I've made every mistake in the book. Uh, I forgot to put a diaper on her one time. Yeah. Um, I had the late night feeding, Roos asleep. I'm trying to, uh,

do it without waking her up. And I don't know if you remember this with Harper, as soon as you unswaddle them and they get cold, then they get cranky. So I'm racing against the clock, change her diaper, throw that away. She has a little diaper rash, put something on there and she's getting more and more upset. And I quickly do that. And then I swallow her up. So she'll be warm again to stop crying. And I start feeding her in about two minutes in, I'm like,

Why are my shorts wet with warm water? And I looked down and she had peed all over me. Yeah. But I forgot to put the diaper on. So I'll probably blame that one on me. You know, you haven't had a kid until they've peed or pooped on you. And she's done both already. Yeah. So you're in the system. I didn't even know, like, I've really made every mistake. Like, we brought her home from the hospital yesterday.

And Ruth went on a little ahead of me. And I came in with her. And she's like, what was the problem? You had trouble getting her out? And I'm like, well, yeah, I don't know how to unbook all that stuff. And she's like, you don't. You just bring in the whole car seat. You don't take them out. Yeah. I mean, you know that. No, I mean, I don't think I would. I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know it. But you carry it in and out. Yeah, you carry the car seat. Because that way you can get them. You're not like trying to. It's cold or it's hot or it's raining. You know, whatever. It's just safer. Yeah. And so, yeah, I mean, I've.

We were in the hospital and they said, you know, do you remember where you delivered at? Centennial. Centennial. Yeah. They're so understandably strict about safety and security and stuff like that. And they're like, don't push your red call button. If you need something more ice, whatever, call this number. Don't push the red call button unless your child's choking, unless someone's coming in to steal. Something like emergency. Yeah.

I'm in the bathroom taking a shower. Apparently there's a red call button in the shower. Oh yeah. I just hear people running in like swarm, swarm. And I hear someone over a speaker. There's a speaker in the show, like everything. And apparently I didn't realize they all just come rushing into Bruce room thinking there's a strange man, you know, and they're stealing the baby. Yeah. So.

And you're just in there. Do they come in the bathroom? No. I said, don't go in there. Yeah. I'm just in there singing. Yeah. What's the problem out here? Oh man. That's so funny. That's awesome, dude. Yeah. So, yeah, there she is. She's cute. Yeah, she's cute. She looks good. Uh,

Yeah, and big. Was big. She looked big there. When she was born, she was big. Well, she's not... I mean, go back to that one, the close-up of her face. You can see, right? Yeah. Well, the one after that right there. Look at Ruth's hands. She doesn't have man hands usually. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you can see she's... She's small. People see her in person, they're like, wow, she is tiny. Yeah, yeah. But when she was five pounds, it was like, oh, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we were hoping for. That didn't sound too bad. No. Five pounds, so...

People ask who she looked like and the answer is neither of us because she was an embryo that we adopted and

We met a family that had trouble having children. They had some embryos made in lab and they had some extra ones. I mean, it sounds like you're making a transaction, but we really were. And they didn't want to destroy them because they feel like that's, you know, a life as do we. And they wanted to donate them to a Christian family. And so we met with them and

And they gave her to us, the embryo. Yeah, that's awesome. So my daughter already has two brothers and a sister. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. And her sister's three months older than she is. Really? Wow. Oh, that's crazy. Name Harper. Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if they want all their info out, but...

This family is like, this is a huge mistake. Yeah. Yeah. Well, all right. That's all I'll say about that. But get her address out. Let them know. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's awesome, man. Yeah. That's a, but that's a, yeah, that's awesome. The fact that you did that, I know a lot of people do that kind of stuff.

Yeah, I would encourage couples that can't have children to look into that. There's a lot of embryos, quite frankly, frozen. There's thousands of them that people don't know what to do with. If you don't want to destroy them, then give them to someone like us who needs one, and they'll raise them. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, very awesome. Yeah, it's awesome. It's a whole...

I mean, there's nothing better than having a kid. So it goes, you know, y'all can watch Dancer's Wolves together. Okay. What's that? What's that? What's that? I met all the nurses, asked them where they're from, guess their county. Yeah. Did you? I did. One tried to tell me. Well, she did tell me up front. I wasn't happy about it. She's like, I was like, where are you from? She said, Cooper Town. She said, Robertson County.

I was like, yeah, I know. Yeah. I know. I was about to guess your school. Yeah. Yeah. I went to Cooper town. No, no, no. I'm sorry. She said cross plains. Oh. And I said, and I said, I know. And I said, East Robertson. And she's like, yeah. Yeah. That's where Carlos grows is from. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I went to Cooper town elementary. Yeah. Uh, play East Robertson. Yeah. That's awesome, dude. So it's, uh, look at this. You're a different man now. Yep. You feel different. We're tired. That's for sure. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm used to like getting through something and just like, all right, if we just get through this weekend, then we can just sleep in and there's no, just like, Oh no, no, those days are over. It doesn't stop. Yeah. Yeah. You got to wonder where they're at. You're always thinking about them every second. This is the first time I've been away from her in her life. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

She'll be proud of what you did while you were away. Proud of you, Dad. Her first words are, why didn't you do more about that story at the beginning? The Pepsi story. The Pepsi story. Because you did say, I sleep very good. Yeah, she just sleeps all the time. We have to wake her up. Oh, okay. So why didn't we do the Pepsi thing? Yeah.

We love it, dude. Everybody was excited. Everybody's happy to have you back now. Thank you. Yeah, man. Yeah. It's a crazy thing. Aaron, anything? Nothing. So you went to the Grammys. You had a kid. I got stuck on an elevator in Louisville. All right. For about 20 minutes. Wow. That's crazy. Weight limit? By yourself? Yeah.

Were you by yourself? No, but I was the biggest guy in the elevator, which is tough. I'd imagine it was at the bottom. It just couldn't go up. Stuck between floor one and two. No, I think the very bottom. The basement? Right when it goes in, they press seven, and it just goes, and just settles on the ground. It starts, and then it goes. Yeah.

It was 19 floors up, actually. Oh, yeah? Fire department had to come. Oh, wow. It was legit scary. I would lose it.

Well, a woman on the elevator did. She started to have trouble. Yeah. And me and Matt Taylor, the other comic that were with me, we were both trying to play it cool. But as soon as we got off, we were like, dude, I was freaking out. I mean, it was stressful. How long? 20 minutes? About 20 minutes, yeah. What is the lady just going crazy? When they said fire department? Yeah. We didn't even know where we were because it didn't show what floor you were on.

And then a guy finally came up and opened the doors, and we only had about a foot. We weren't even with the floor, so there's only about a foot where we could get out. And he was like, so we're going to have to call the fire department. And that's when people were like, oh, God, this might be like a thing. Yeah. You know? And what do they do? They said we have to reset the elevator. Yeah. Which I stopped. I was like, what does that mean? Yeah. Because that doesn't sound good. Yeah.

They just had to turn them all off and turn them all back on where they all go down to the first floor. And we were just on there for a while. Did you like Dwight and claim your corner? I did sit down first. How many people were in there? There's four of us, four of us total. At least it's like...

That's the borderline. One more and you're like, it's not good. It's crowded. Do you know these people now? Would you know their names? Well, it got to a point where I was like, I guess we should introduce ourselves. I'm Aaron. We all met each other. And then they had some whiskey in their backpack because there was a whiskey convention going on. So we might as well break this out now. We're stuck on here. Yeah, yeah. Kind of fun in retrospect. Yeah, yeah. Once I know that I was safe. Yeah.

Except the lady losing it. Oh, yeah. She did not have a good time. She did not. Did she do whiskey? She was looking for something, yeah. Yeah. She was like, thank you. She needed it. Yeah. That is crazy. Yeah, it was a fun weekend. Yeah, yeah. Oh, all right. All right. Well, this was a big one. So we did good. Everybody's back.

thank you for listening. As always, I'll, uh, I'll be this week, Poughkeepsie, Buffalo, Syracuse, maybe somewhere else. Check out the tour dates. We announced some more baits. You got stay in town for the next few weeks, but, uh,

our shows in Woodstock, Georgia, May 26th, May 26th. If you live in Atlanta, come see us. Yes. Brian and I co-headline in there. Very exciting. And Salt Lake city and Salt Lake city. Yeah. Yeah. And June. Yeah. June wise guys. All right. Thank you everyone. As always, we love you and see you next week. See it. Nate land is produced by Nate land productions and by me, Nate Bargetti and my wife, Laura on the all things comedy network.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland podcast.