‘So I Married an Axe Murderer’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey
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Charlie, have you ever stood at the edge of a subway platform with someone and you thought just for a split second, what if I... No, not really. Usually I follow the Judeo-Christian ethic of thou shalt not kill, but that's just me. And look how vulnerable we are. And I could do anything to you in your sleep. Stick a needle in your... So I Married an Axe Murderer. Rated PG-13. Sneak preview Saturday night, July 17th.

All right, so I Married an Ex-Murderer came out 30 years ago. Mike Myers coming off Wayne's World 1 and 2, still on SNL. He was a guy. Season ticket status, I think. This movie came out and it bombed. I didn't understand it. I loved it. Here's what happened, though. As the years pass, Mike Myers really doesn't make another good movie after, what, 2002? That's the last Austin Powers movie. Yeah. Are we counting Shrek? I guess we could.

But the Austin Powers stuff happens and he kind of becomes known for that. And then this becomes this tucked away thing that then becomes the most rewatchable movie he ever made. So how did this happen?

It's a really good question. I wonder if it would have ever gotten that cult status if he didn't make Austin Powers, but that there's something ironic about that because this is the last time he ever made a movie in which he played basically Mike Myers. Yeah. And he doesn't really like to play Mike Myers and he's much more comfortable playing characters. And this is just a guy that he's playing. He's just, I have a lot of questions about...

what this guy's life is. So many questions. But he doesn't, he never again leaned into it, you know, whether it was Wayne Algar or Shrek or Austin Powers or Fat Bastard or the Love Guru or the guys from the Pentavarite or any, I mean, he's literally never played a normal guy since. In Glorious Bastards, 54, like think of all of the movies that he's made. Bohemian Rhapsody, never played

Just a dude. But when you say normal guy, it's like everyone, he's got a wig on or fake teeth. That's what I mean. Or some accent. He's closer to Andy Serkis than he is to like Eddie Murphy now. Where it's like every movie he did was like this complete and total physical transformation. A character that is like, he doesn't show up and he's like, I'll be funny. It's like, I know I've created an entirely new person that I'm going to inhabit for this. And this movie is the...

The sort of like X and Y graph of like his trajectory up and starting to feel himself and being like, I think I'm going to rewrite this script. But a real director, like a screenplay, like, you know, a cast, a good supporting cast and actually a story. I like when Mike Myers is Mike Myers. He would do it on SNL, too, every once in a while. And I don't know. I almost wonder if this movie because it bombed.

I'd psyched him out and that was it. He's like, I'm out. Never doing that again. I'm never playing myself. I need to hide behind some sort of gimmick and that's it. Don't ask me to be me. You know what I've thought about a lot revisiting this movie was the love story in Wayne's World.

Which is when I saw Wayne's World, I didn't think that that is where they would take that character. Like there's nothing in the sketches in SNL that would indicate that he would make a love story. But Wayne's World works so well. And actually he and Tia Carrera were great together. That's some of the best stuff in that movie. So I think maybe he thought maybe I am going to be a kind of leading man rom-com lead.

And so he leans into it really directly with this. And since it doesn't work, you never see him try it again. It would have been cool to see him try it again. Well, it's fascinating to think about. I'm not going to do casting what ifs, but the people who had been up and around for the role of Charlie in, you know, before, before Mike Myers got the part. And those are all pretty typical, like,

leading men leading men with comic abilities right but not like comic geniuses who are creating a new character every time and like inhabiting this person it's basically he's way more close to Sasha Baron Cohen and some of the Eddie Murphy stuff where he's doing you know Nutty Professor and things like that than he is like Chevy Chase you know he's a weird guy mm-hmm

But yet vibes with the leading lady. And he did it with Tia Carrera. He did it in this movie. I think him and Nancy Travis have great chemistry. I feel like he did it with Elizabeth Hurley and with Heather Graham. Beyonce, not as much because I'm not sure Beyonce's an actor. But there's something silly about

Where it's like, I actually believe that these two people would like each other and he's so silly and he's bringing out this funny side for the other person. He's a good flirt, right? He's good. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. He's a good flirt. And it's weird that he abandoned that too. I don't really understand what happened to him. And it felt like it started to get weird with 54. And when he made that choice and I, I kind of liked 54, I thought he was good in it. When he made that choice, I thought, Oh, is he going to go this way and become like this kind of weird dramatic actor? Yeah.

But then he did two more Austin Powers movies. Kind of Jim Carrey, right? Yeah. Yeah, and then he did the Love Girl, and then it just seems like he lost the narrative. He did the Cat in the Hat, and that was one that really did him in, I think. Because he was supposed to make

the Dieter movie. Yeah. And then he got into a legal dispute with Universal and so to pay them back, basically, he did The Cat in the Hat and that movie bombed and people hated it. And so then he was like, he's not a romantic comedy lead. He's not like a kids movie star. He's already made three Austin Powers movies. Love Guru doesn't work. Like, where do you go? Yeah. And it sounds like he's a little bit more trouble than it's worth sometimes.

on set. Very controlling, it sounds like. When it got to the point when he was doing the gong show and makeup and not acknowledging that it was him hosting the gong show, that was when it was like, this is getting now weird. Yeah. What happened to this guy? I've always been fascinated by him, though. I do think that movies need people like this. It's the same reason I love Sacha Baron Cohen, where people are just like, I'm not...

acknowledging the joke here. Like, I'm just, I'm doing what I'm doing. This is my world that I've created. And he's kind of created worlds over and over again. He's done, he's been more successful

than arguably any self-styled comedy star of the last 35 years. You could make the case that just Shrek and Austin Powers alone, that's bigger than anything that's happened. That's bigger than Jim Carrey, bigger than Will Ferrell, bigger than any of those people. So it's hard to quibble with, but this one is such an outlier from all that other stuff. You could also give him that 15-year run starting when he joins us now all the way through the early 2000s. That's like...

you know, about as good as you're going to do. But for some reason, the next 20 years became the bigger part of the narrative. Like what happened to him? Why did he lose the steering wheel? And, and, but I, I actually think that run he had is underrated now.

Because especially the SNL stuff, like he was one of the better cast members, I think, in the history of the show. And I don't think he gets mentioned like that anymore because it was like, oh, he just did Wayne's World and the other one. He had a lot of good stuff that he did. I think he got he felt too in love with the coffee take coffee talk lady. He felt too in love with that Simon. Like he would just get super weird, almost like a little too weird.

Where people need to reign him in. But I thought he did a bunch of good stuff. Every generation kind of gets their SNL cast. I think Sean's probably a little bit more Sandler Farley generation. Myers and Carvey was when I started watching. But yeah, Myers and Carvey were like, that was the period of time when I would be like, Mom, I'm staying up to watch this to one. Yeah.

Yeah. Seth always talked about how Myers was like, he loved the 10 to one sketch, the sketch that got super weird. And that would be like the one that he shows. Yeah. So he, he becomes when his movies hit, that sets off the whole SNL guys going to the movies thing that, that kind of launches it. But he stayed on the show and he probably stayed on the show. I would say two years too long considering what his profile was. And then in the middle of this, he puts out this movie that, um,

I had really high hopes for. And then it just kind of came and went. I think some of that, though, is how loaded 1993 was, which we've talked about in the past. Just an amazing movie year. There was just so many choices. And you also knew if you didn't catch them in time, they were going to be in Blockbuster at some point. So one of the other things I love about this movie

It's, I think, one of the best San Francisco movies. Yeah. Like, San Francisco is a co-star of this movie. And I wrote down, like, San Francisco movies I like. 48 Hours is the king. Axe Murder, Zodiac, The Rock, Basic Instinct. Bullet. Bullet, Mrs. Doubtfire, Pacific Heights, Dirty Harry, Body Snatchers, and The Game.

Great. They all just like use the city. It's such a cool city to shoot. You got Hills, you got the water, you can see Alcatraz.

it's kind of creepy, but there's also parts of San Francisco that look like you're in Europe. That scene he's in with Nancy Travis and their first date, it looks like he's in like Rome. Yeah, where they're eating a hot dog. Yeah, and they just, they use it really, really nice. So I think San Francisco is my favorite movie location place. And I say that as somebody who loves Boston. We were in San Francisco together a few years ago, me and you, and you were very romantic about the city. I love San Francisco. You were like, I love it here. Yeah, I remember that very well. This was the best San Francisco time. And I had some friends that moved out there. In the early 90s?

Pre-Silicon Valley, there was still a coolness to it. A lot of young people were moving there to Portland or places like that, but you could still live there for cheap. You could get like,

either like a floor of a house or you could rent, you know, what apartment, whatever, but you could live like three, four to a place. And it was realistic. They did the real world. I think that was the third real world season or second, second. That's the pucks. No, it was New York, LA, San Francisco. So that was happening. Plus like basic instinct, um,

this movie like that this was like a run of san francisco movies and it just seemed like the coolest place i always felt like it was like yeah it's interesting it's like it's a driving city like in the movies it's a driving city it's like this hilly city every it's a good chase city seems real but then the view seems incredible yeah it photographs beautifully yeah it's like it'll be like a normal like kind of beat-up apartment of a cop and then he'll look out the window and he sees the bay

Yeah, it's like a nooks and crannies city. Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. There's like a little small porn part. There's like a little weird Jack Kerouac part. Yeah. Chinatown's amazing. Chinatown in San Francisco is one of the best movie locations there is. It would be an amazing late career pivot for you to just be like the Anthony Bourdain of red light districts across America. The Combat Zone with Bill Simmons? Yeah.

Sticky floors with Bill Simmons. Let's talk about tassels. Yeah, a lot of those movies I listed all came out

In like a four year span. Yeah. Like even Pacific Heights, good San Francisco movie. Oh yeah. You know, and there's always like you could shoot stuff where things are tilted. This is also the time of a full house, which is there's like a full house shot in this movie where you see those, that row of houses. And that, that was probably the first San Francisco TV show I watched. It's weird that San Francisco is so different now.

where it was 25, 30 years ago. And then there's a lot of reasons for that. But like, cause I feel like Boston has improved in a lot of ways. It's a city that made it nicer. They added the seaport. They had the big dig. Like it's pretty clean. Um,

San Francisco feels like it's in shambles compared to where it was 30 years ago. You've been really involved in the legislative work there. I've been actively trying to get people recalled. I haven't been to San Francisco in like 15 years. The fact that the Nordstrom at the bottom of the hill is just, they shut it down. That's like fucking amazing to me. That'd be like if they shut down Faneuil Hall in Boston. Yeah. Which is like, yeah, Faneuil Hall's gone. So anyway, it made me...

Nostalgic. What's your favorite movie city? Well, that's a good question. I mean, New York has the most movies that I love that are set there. That's like cheating, though. Well, you know, you asked the question. What if I was like Cleveland? I certainly love the film set in Cleveland. Venice!

I think New Orleans is good as a movie location. Yeah, but I don't like when they set things in New Orleans, but they're not in New Orleans. They cheat? No, they shoot things in and around Louisiana, but then they don't. They're like, this is actually Chicago. It's Shreveport. Miami's a good one. Miami's great. No, that's for you guys. That's CR and BS right there. But it's out of sight. Sure. Bad boys. That's a good one. You guys are just thinking about mojitos. That's all you're thinking about. My advice...

London's good. I like Chicago a lot. Chicago's had some good ones. But it's weird that cities have runs. Like, Chicago had that, like, early 80s through the mid-80s run of just, like, a million movies for some reason that we all love. And then San Francisco had this run from, like, basically late 80s through the mid-90s. You basically need directors who are probably, like, affectionate for that place. Like, a lot of the Chicago movies... I don't know. I mean, like...

Andrew Davis, who made The Fugitive and stuff like that, really liked Chicago, so he set a bunch of movies there. You know what I mean? You get directors who are like, it's important for me to have it set here. Yeah, you mentioned two Fincher movies on the list, Zodiac and The Game. It's like he's from the Bay. Yeah, and Mindhunter is basically like a lot of the prisons that they do in Mindhunter are all in Northern California. It's definitely...

Definitely. I feel like this movie is done with the love and care of somebody who like really likes San Francisco. Like, let's go here. Let's go to this spot. We'll do this. We'll use this apartment. Let's go to this location, which I really appreciate. It's directed by Tommy Shlami. Yeah. We met Tommy once. Remember? Yeah, we did. Um, who became a pretty legendary TV director. Yeah. Huge. He did not, uh, stay in the movie side, but he was like ER West wing. Um, he

He was like the main West Wing guy. Almost every West, not everyone, but like a lot of them. But he created like a style of TV show in a way, obviously with the writers who wrote those shows. But the way that a lot of shows look now, he kind of invented like the steadicam following characters talking is like, that's his thing. Which was a huge issue on this set is that Myers was like, do not move this camera. Yeah. Should we start talking about that? I think we should. This was when the Myers reputation begins. Yeah.

That he was a little prickly. Yeah. So somebody who worked on the movie said that Myers had this philosophy of if you want the joke to be funny, you have to shoot the actor directly when he's delivering the joke to you so you can see both eyes. And that was why he said lay down tracks, one eye jacks. Chris Ryan feels the same way. That's how you do million dollar picks. Staring right in the camera so I can get my jokes off.

You also, you wouldn't come out of your trailer until we did Black Hat on the show. That's right. The Meyer stuff, there's been a lot of writing about him. I don't know how much of it is he was just genuinely a weirdo and how much of it was him cultivating the artiste thing with what he was doing. Because the fact that he backed out of the sprockets thing was crazy, but really seemed genuine where he was, he basically like this idea is not good enough. I don't want to do it.

That philosophy falls apart when you do like the love girl five years later. That's the part I can't wrap my head around. It seems like he was just going through some stuff. It seems like nobody could wrap their head around love guru, which, you know, if you just say he's like reclusive and doesn't make anything for the last 25 years, then we're probably having a different kind of conversation about him. But instead he was like, here's what I've been working on. And everybody is like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's a weird one. I think.

He I'm sure I said this when we talked about Austin Powers, but he idolizes Peter Sellers Yeah, sellers famously so difficult on films famously would disappear behind Costumes and wigs and mustaches but was a genius and people were like, you know what? We'll just accept it We'll just deal with it because what you get on screen Doctor Strangelove being there whatever is so worth it that will deal but he also arrived at a time where like there and

There was more money on the line, you know what I mean? Like, Austin Powers was a billion-dollar operation, ultimately. So I think it's harder to justify. It's also funny because there's the 93 part where it's like you would still get magazine articles or newspaper articles that were just, like, immediately after a movie had come out and people being like, I didn't really have a good time making this, you know? And also, in the intervening years, I think even Tommy Schlamme and, like, some of the other people have been like, it was...

complicated and a little bit difficult, but it wasn't that bad. You know what I mean? Like he is very specific. And if you're going to work with him, you got to kind of know what he's going to do. I think that this movie actually works because of that tension though, is because there's still like a cool setting, you know, and some atmospheric stuff and some interesting like zags and Tommy's slammy is doing like a San Francisco movie. Like you're saying,

But then you also have the Mike Myers part. It's something that I wish more comedies had, which is that it has real competent filmmaking. Like, the movie is very slick, very smooth. It's well done. It looks really good. You know, it's got energy. It's got pace. The music is great. Like, it's not just like...

a thrown-together SNL sketch. It's not just the Apatow guys kind of riffing for two and a half hours. It is like one slow-mo walking scene. That's like their... Right, right. Like, you can make the case that the flaw of the movie, even though I really like this about it and it's what attracted it to me in the first place, is actually Mike Myers. Like, Mike Myers, like, doing...

bits and being like, hello! In a scene where you'd be like, no one would ever do that. I had that in What's Aged the Worst. He does it three different times and it's like, that didn't work the first time. It's really weird. I mean, I love Mike Myers more than I love the movie, so I'd rather have Mike Myers than a slightly better movie with a less comic-centric actor, but

There's something weird and frictive going on here that you can feel even while you're watching the movie. Most difficult Canadians, Mike Myers, Dylan Brooks. Are there any other ones? That's it? Those are the only two? I'm sure there's a hockey player we're not thinking of. Yeah, some problem. I mean, R.J. Barrett's hard on my heart, you know?

Yeah, that's true. R.J. Barrett's like, no lateral movement or I don't come out of my trailer. R.J. Barrett is how I feel, the way Mike Myers feels, and so I married an ex-murderer watching him play. I'm like, is this guy going to kill me right now? I watched this movie twice in two days because the first time I was having such a good time with some of the scenes that I wasn't even thinking about it critically, so I had to watch it.

watch it again. It's a quintessential rewatchable in that way. It's so... Because the reason why this movie gained steam as the 90s went along was just these signature scenes. And the first 30 minutes are about as good as you're going to do for a comedy. And then it kind of has to...

go through the whole, oh, we have this black comedy horror type piece. And, you know, I don't think the last 20 minutes is great, but the fact that there's just like, hey, Phil Hartman's going to be in this for two minutes. Michael Richards at the peak of Seinfeld. He's just popping in for three minutes. Charles Grodin's here for no reason at all. Steven Wright's going to fly a plane. Like, I don't feel like movies do this anymore. But that's the thing is like, this is basically singles.

done as a Monty Python episode or as a Saturday Night Live episode where there's like 15, 20 minutes of Harriet and Charlie. And then they just have like a weird sketch in the middle. And like they went to like funny people and were like, what would you do in this scene? Or what about this idea? And they just have like five minute scenes that are almost like interstitials throughout the movie. But they make sense in the movie, which I think. Yeah. There were a lot of other movies from this era where they were just Saturday Night Live sketches kind of patched together.

But this has... And in this one, everybody, even the Michael Richards scene, which is bizarre, but it kind of makes sense in the framework of the movie. Pushes the story along. You learn something. And Alan Arkin. I didn't mention Alan Arkin, who's in multiple scenes. That's the nice sergeant. Yeah, there's like real thought and care put into why these people are in the movie, what they're going to do. And I don't know if like the equivalent was down. It was some...

where they built the movie around one guy, but then it's like, Bill Hader's in it for two minutes. Mm-hmm. You know? And then Fred Armisen's in it for one minute. And, oh my God, there's Kristen Wiig for 90 seconds. Like, we'd be like, what is this movie? They just don't do it this way anymore. It's a good call. I actually wish that was the case with more stuff. I just don't think people are creative enough like that. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think... That's one of the reasons we love Superbad. Like, fucking Bill Hader's in it for, what, two scenes? Three scenes? But what...

I read that those people are all in this movie because they wanted to work with Mike Myers. And I assume that's true. Which speaks to how much cachet he had at that point. I mean, Alan Arkin is like, I want to be in a movie with that guy. In 1993, Alan Arkin was Alan Arkin. You know, it's pretty crazy.

He's just always at least an A-. Arkin? Yeah, like A- is the floor for Arkin. Where do you stand on The In-Laws? It was part of a movie swap episode we did on the show, The Big Picture, earlier this year. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. I love it. My dad's best friend, Roy Anderson, had this whole thing about how The In-Laws was the greatest movie of all time, and he watched it every six months. It's so funny. So funny. He was like, this is the perfect movie. And he would just say, he was like a...

like a Scientologist about it. When he's losing his shit and they're doing the run on the tarmac, that's like the funniest thing I've ever seen in a movie. It's great. And all the way through Little Miss Sunshine. Incredible career for him. Well, this movie, $20 million budget, made $11.5 million. Roger Ebert, like, begrudgingly gave it two and a half stars. He said it was a mediocre movie with a good one trapped inside, wildly signaling to be set free.

Picked it apart. I don't think... Raj is a big story guy. I don't know if he loved the story. I wanted to know what you guys thought of the point that he made in the review, which was that he thought that the family...

and I'm sure we'll spend a lot of time on the Scottish family, that that was the movie. Yeah. That if he had made that the movie, then you would have had something great and all of this business with, you know, Harriet and Charlie and the murders and everything. It was not as interesting. It does feel like they're two separate movies. And it feels like one is like a vestige of the older version of the script and the other is like Mike Myers exploring like what this guy's life in San Francisco would be like if he had this Scottish family. Yeah.

I would have loved to have seen that. I don't know if split-screen technology was quite where we needed it to be. I think that was the biggest problem. The other problem was, I hated the colonel with his wee beady eyes!

He puts an addictive chemical in his chicken. The dad, well, we'll do it in rewatchables, but the dad's first scene is like one of my favorite four minutes. It's unreal. I think of the 90s. Yeah, so funny. It is like just like an A++. Let's take a break. Today's most rewatchable scene brought to you by The Home Depot. Every great movie goes big.

Whether it's a heart-swelling love story. What's your favorite heart-swelling love story, Sean? Jeez. English Patient? English Patient. A mind-bending mystery or a nail-biting adventure. What's your favorite nail-biting adventure, Chris? Raiders of the Lost Ark. Home Depot wants to help you go big this holiday season with festive outdoor decor. Snatch up bigger, bolder inflatables and your favorite characters of great values along with some classic decor ideas.

done in new ways. I always want to say Decker when I read it. Decor. Yeah. It's one of those that tries to trick me. One of those words. You got it. Yeah, I know. I know. I know that shop now and give yourself the gift of a stress-free holiday season with the Home Depot. I always want to say Home Depot when I read it. No kidding. The Home Depot, there's nothing bigger than that. Visit homedepot.com to learn more. All right, here we go. The opening's awesome. Coffee shop.

We should talk about it. Following through the mug? This is a sneaky like... I think the mid-90s, people just tried shit. They're like, you know what, fuck it. But it's also like a 90s time capsule. Yeah. You know, this is sort of like the real central perk, you know? Right. Well, I was going to talk about this later, but there is like, this is the first wave of coffeehouse shit because singles had it the year before. Friends is a year later, but...

I was Dunkin' Donuts really until 93, 94. I don't even think any coffee house was in Boston until- The first time you went into a coffee house where you're like, you guys think you're better than me. I'll tell you this. We didn't have them in Boston, but we had them. You know, you go to San Francisco and be like, what's this place? It's like a bar, but it's coffee. What was the bookstore next to Newberry though that had the coffee shop in it? That place I think is still there. It is. Yeah, I didn't, I wasn't a fan of that place. Really? I was a D&D guy.

Okay, why do you have to choose? That was just a D&D guy. And you wouldn't hang out at the other side cafe or anything? No, I was just like Dunkin' Donuts. Just walking by being like, fuck you guys. I just didn't understand it. And then eventually they kind of beat you down. Is it like this is the real America? Like Dunkin' Donuts, this is how we really do it? It's just like Dunkin' Donuts. That's what I was used to. Cool. Then I expanded my horizons. Did you do a lot of coffee shops? No, I didn't drink. Ice cold ethical? No, when we were...

when we were just taking a break, you were like, I bet you're a big beat poet guy sitting in the coffee shop. Like, I didn't start drinking coffee until like 2009. So, no. Really? Yeah. Yeah, now it's a huge part of my life. What Ringer staff member do you think could have been a beat poet guy 30 years ago? Austin Gale. Austin Gale? Austin Gale? Yeah, but just very fast poetry. Speed poetry. E-P-A! Jalen Waddle waddles down the field.

Maybe that should be, we should launch an NFL beat poetry podcast. That sounds like a really good idea. Write that down. FanDuel got a new idea for you guys. You better be sitting down. Same day, parlay.

So the cappuccino, we followed all the way through and it goes to Myers and Myers goes, there seems to be a mistake. I ordered the large cappuccino. It just, and we're off. We're gone. We, uh, we had the fair commitment established. He's talking about his girlfriends. He says she smelled like soup. She smelled like beef, vegetable soup.

And then he does the woman poem. Now, like Jeff Chow was like, oh, that movie, it's funny except for the beat poetry. I'm like, I am completely in the opposite camp. I love the beat poetry. He could have thrown in three more. Woman. Whoa. Whoa. She was a thief. You gotta believe. She stole my heart and my cat. Betty. Judy. Josie and those hot pussy cats.

They make me horny. Saturday morning. Girls of Cotwins won't leave me in ruins. Be Betty's Barney. Hey, Jane, get me off this crazy thing called love. She was a thief. You gotta believe. She stole my heart and my cat. Is it time to start asking questions about Charlie?

Or do you want to wait? Let's wait. Okay. Because we don't, yeah, I have a million questions. Hey, Jane, get me off this crazy thing called love. I'm kind of into beat poetry. Oh, yeah. I think I would have had a good time. Maybe you should host the beat poet football pod. We could do it. Maybe we have some space in the Spotify office. We do. It's a little stage.

That's a great opening scene. Then we get to go to his parents' house and it's just, it goes to a whole other level. The Scottish Wall of Fame, which I wrote down, we'll talk about later. The Bay City Rollers. Incredible. Myers leaves and the dad goes, float away, you fairy! And

It just seems like for three minutes he's trying to make Anthony and the Paglia break. And it works. And it works. And he's just fucking laughing. That must have been the best take they had of the Paglia not dying. And that's what they had to you. Look at the size of that boy's head. I'm not kidding. It's like an orange on a toothpick. You're going to give the boy a complex. Well, that's a huge noggin. It's a virtual planetoid. Has its own weather system. Move!

They should just put like the entire edited footage on YouTube because he's like legitimately like dying laughing. You're giving him a complex. It is like a 10 to 1 SNL sketch in the middle of a movie. Yeah, right. He starts going, he starts talking about the pentavarite.

Well, it's a well-known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world known as the Pentavrit, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado known as the Meadows. So who's in this Pentavrit? The Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Rothschilds, and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up.

I hated the Colonel with his wee beady eyes and that smug look on his face. Oh, you're going to buy my chicken. Dad, how can you hate the Colonel?

Which ends up being a terrible Netflix show later. But that joke, he ruined that joke. That joke was always the funniest thing to me in this movie. When he just fires off the names. Yeah, the Queen, the Vatican, the Rothschilds, the Getty's, the Getty's, the Childs, Colonel Sanders. Before he went tits up. I was like, just let that sit there as your own mythology that you invented. Oh, you're going to buy my chicken.

The drive-by shooting of Colonel Sanders is just unbelievable. I don't even know. How did they come up with that? They also just do so many hat-on-a-hat things where you think it's like the end of the joke or the end of the scene, and then like Anthony Lopaglia making out with Brenda Fick. Right. Well, we got to talk about William because William... Yeah.

In the theater, the first time I saw this, and after, William and... Boy, he did! Look at that head! It looks like Sputnik! And... Oh, go cry to yourself! Hold on, that gargantuan cranium about! All of the head jokes with William... William! Move your head! Pants! And poor William with his, like, little weird afro. And... I just...

That is my funny bone personified. It just fucking slays me. On his huge pillow. It's like an orange on a toothpick. That is like the perfect four-minute comedy scene. It's so good. I do have one important question. Yeah. How old is William? And how old is Charlie? This is... We got this coming up. There's a lot of undiscovered country with the McKenzie family. Well, let's do it now. Charlie's probably like 31. And then they have a 14-year-old boy.

Pretty weird. And the parents seem like they're in their mid-60s. Yeah. Father McKenzie is definitely on in years. Sired late in life. Sired a child. And Brenda Fricker, in the movie, she's only in her mid to late 40s, but she's costumed to look like she's 59. Yeah. So it's pretty weird. I'm just going to read this without the accents. This is the actual dialogue at one point. This is just what it says on the script. Look at the size of that boy's heed. Pfft.

I'm not kidding it's like an orange on a toothpick shh you're gonna give the boy a complex well that's a huge noggin that's a virtual planetoid shh has its own weather system like how do you even like putting that on a page and giving that to actors I don't even know how you would react it's just the fucking best we were trying to figure out though when we were talking about this

Mike Myers says he's descended from ancient Scottish ancestry, but his family is from Liverpool. He seems like he hates Scotland. So does he like the Scots or hate the Scots? Well, he's done quite a lot of Scottish material and Shrek is Scottish. You know, like...

I mean, maybe not actually Scottish, but he... He was not born in Scotland, Shrek. Well, he, I mean... We get Henry Louis Gates in here. The next... Finding your roots with Shrek. Well, the next scene I had where he has that quote about, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. Yeah. It's the fucking perfect... It's so true. Like, who's like, what are you guys eating tonight? Oh, we're going to get some Scottish food.

Like you would never, there's no Scottish category of Postmates. I do like a scotch egg. Do you really? Flirting at the butcher shop is my next scene, which also gets the Big Kahuna Burger Award for best use of food, drink, and the Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness Award for best needle drop. Cause it plays the, uh, the big audio dynamite song. Um, the funny montage to me is undefeated.

Where it's like, Mike Myers, he's just going to help out behind the counter. He's got meat and he's just going to try to be funny with all of these cold cuts and meat that are on display. And he fucking pulls it off. Yeah. Some health code violations in the mix there. I don't think it's, I was going to have this in what's aged the worst, but just generally like, uh, just poor butchery. Yep. Yep.

Mom, could you call the school nurse? Call the school nurse. Even on Nancy Travis's part where they're like, I'd like a quarter inch thick sirloin. She's like, ah! She's just like slapping at the thing with a knife. This, I mean, you have those three scenes basically in a row. This movie is like just on a killer pace and you think it can't get any better and then Phil Hartman shows up as John Johnson. What the hell is that?

Hello, everyone. I am a park ranger and I will be leading you on the tour. All of the park rangers here at Alcatraz were at one time guards, myself included. My name is John Johnson, but everyone here calls me Vicky. Will you please follow me? I love Vicky. He's great. He's the best. That's a classic thing where it's just like, oh, it's really funny. He's like, call me Vicky. And then the tour keeps going and he's talking about girls. And then Phil Hartman tells the machine gun Kelly's story.

Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell block, machine gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system a bitch. And one night, in a jealous rage, Kelly took a makeshift knife or shiv and cut out the bitch's eyes. Hey, you know, another thing about Harry that I love. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day, he and four other inmates took turns pissing.

into the bitch's ocular cavity machine gun kelly had what we call in the prison system a bitch i like when he gets mad meyer starts talking and he like gives him like he tries to be like oh yeah i don't really know what to do with it i think that's the funniest minute of the 90s for me he's phil phil hartman as the alcatraz god a guard makeshift knife or a shiv

And cut out the bitch's eyes. It makes me sad. I miss Phil Hartman. I feel like he's one of the biggest what-ifs ever. 20 years we don't have of him doing stuff like this in movies. It sucks. He's in my all-time funny pantheon. Yes. With Eddie and Will Ferrell. Ooh, here we go. You sure you want to get all this way? How long is the list? That might be the entire list. Eddie, Phil Hartman, and Will Ferrell.

Just for people that could just make me laugh in any situation, if you gave them any kind of line of dialogue, just how they can hit. What about Clark Griswold being shot by a shotgun? No, Belushi would be the fourth one.

Those four were just like, they just make me laugh. And Phil Hartman, like he's the fuck. Like who else could be that funny as the Alcatraz guard? Like literally nobody in the planet. He's the best. Incredible bit. Yeah. Just like, here's the story this way to the cafeteria. Yeah. He's just so different from all those other guys though. Cause all their comedy is about like them. And Phil Hartman is doing some character that is not like an outrageous Mike Myers character. Yeah. He's like,

stuffed shirt guy, I guess, is like the best way to describe, but that bit always works. It always worked on me. And Farrell used to do this, like, Farrell basically does what Phil Hartman does where it's like, he's being completely serious in this scene. And everybody else is dying. They can't believe how funny this is. But like, even like when you watch Phil, like Will Farrell on like Eastbound,

Like he's being completely serious. Right. And everybody else is like, I can't believe Ashley Schaefer is a real thing. I also love the friendship with Meyer. I had that on one stage, the best Myers and the Paglia. Like they really seem like genuine friends. And I like when they get Vicky and Vicky's like, all right, guys, follow me at the start of the tour. That must have been the easiest paycheck Anthony ever got. Yeah. Oh man, we got Vicky. How many times have you guys been to Alcatraz? Yeah.

I love that. We got Vicky. This is great. It's like one in four chance. Alcatraz is amazing. That was another thing we loved about San Francisco, like going there and learning. I was like, oh, let's go to Alcatraz. We went like, I think, I think I personally went three times in the 90s and I'm not even from San Francisco. You did a bit. What was it like there? It was much like The Rock. Yeah. So much fun. The Michael Richards cameo where he's with the mechanic from Curb, the Amco guy from season one.

And he just is smoking and just crazy and then flips out. Does, stop your job. Look at the insensitive man. That's what they're paying him for. Really good to see him. I like all of the Ark and Lapaglia scenes where there's like some sort of, I wish this was more like Starsky and Hutch is basically the premise. The one later in the movie when he really tries to. The guys upstairs are calling. Yeah. That one is the best. It seems.

The old lady that confessed to the murder of Ralph Elliot has also confessed to a couple of other murders. I knew she would. I knew it. Yeah, right. Well, she's confessed to the murders of Abraham Lincoln, Warren G. Harding, and Julius Caesar. She's a nutcase. A nutcase. Oh, my God. You screw this one up, pal, and you'll be writing pocket tickets for the rest of your life. You got that? Captain, I won't let you down.

Good for you. That was so much better. Really terrific. It was fantastic. The beginning felt pretty good. Yeah, it was great. I get too much in the end. No, no, no. It was really terrific. That whole bit is just great. It's so smart. I like when he wins her back with the beat poem. And I like when he finds out that she's the murderer. But really, the best scenes of this movie are in the first, I would say, hour. I like this poem sucks. That one is really good when he wins her back.

What do you got for most rewatchable? This is really tough. It's the first Mackenzie scene. It's the first Stewart scene. Agree completely. That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. I'm going to agree, but only because it's longer than the Hartman scene. Hartman scene's like a minute and a half. The first Mackenzie scene, it's unbelievable. I want to give a special shout out to just the very 12-second scene where...

uh, LaPaglia is like commandeer Charles Grodin's car and he's drumming on the dashboard. And he's like, could you please stop that? And he's like, Oh, is this bothering you? And he's like, no, it's one of my favorite things. It was like Charles Grodin in a nutshell. There's also like when Steven Wright is like, Oh my God, I was dreaming. I was born eight and a half months. Is it LaPaglia or LaPaglia? I think it's LaPaglia. What is it, Chris? I have no idea. Yeah. I,

I always think Italian. I never knew. He is Australian. He's Australian? He's not Italian? We can't claim him? I assume his family is. He's the most Italian-seeming guy on the planet. If you watch interviews with him, it's like the deep, almost New York Italian with an Australian accent. It's really unsettling. I might be misremembering this, so don't quote me.

But I feel like there was like a year there where people were thinking he might be the next De Niro. Is that possible? He was a pretty big deal for me. Because he was a big stage actor too. And I think there, I think there was some like buzz with him. And when he was in this movie, it was the first time he'd been in a comedy and it was pretty jarring to see him. He's in a stretch here. Yeah.

Innocent Blood, So I Married an Axe Murderer, The Client, really good on The Client, and Empire Records, which I love. And then he was on that show Murder One, which was a really good Bochco show in the 90s. What was his show that hit in the 2000s? Without a Trace? Yeah, that was like eight years. I'm sure he did very well on that show.

All right. That's it for most rewatchable scene. It's brought to you by the Home Depot. Finish the movie marathon. That is your holiday season prep with the help of the Home Depot. They've got everything you need to add some joy to your home with outdoor decor, like bold inflatables and your favorite characters are great values. Give yourself the gift of a stress-free holiday season with the Home Depot grand finale. If there ever was one, visit homedepot.com to learn more. This episode is supported by State Farm.

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mentioned early 90s san francisco mentioned early 90s coffee house culture chris where do you stand on sensational 90s tabloid newspapers oh i love them between the newsletter and the yeah yeah the news of the world or whatever it is yeah you think the internet killed those papers or do they still exist uh i think that they're just on the internet now yeah okay and they also have like permeated everything sensitive beat poets i have

Funny actors playing multiple characters as long as the actor's funny. I still enjoy same. I like it You really had it's really a select group of people that can do it who's on the list? My many Myers Murphy Peter sell carry could do it Jim Carrey the Sandler ever do it now, right? I just don't think he would yeah, yeah It's not it's a short list Shane Gillis

Maybe. Could be in his future. Here's what was on the Scottish Wall of Fame, which has aged the best for me. Sir Harry Lauder, Sheena Easton, Alexander Graham Bell, Sean Connery, and Jackie Stewart. That's a fine photo. Sheena Easton is so good. Alexander Graham Bell. I didn't even know he was Scottish. I wonder what would have these perfect photos. What additions I would make since the early 90s.

I don't know. Gosh, I don't know. Ewan McGregor. Yeah, for sure. Good one. Who else is from Scotland? Who's from Scotland, Craig? Uh, groundskeeper Willie from the Simpsons. Chris, have you been to Scotland? No.

I just never got over there. I did Ireland. I did England. How far is it away from England? No, it's just right up there. It's up in the north. There's got to be some reason you want to go. I went to England like 30 times.

Never like wonder what Scotland's like? I would love to go to Scotland. I've been to Edinburgh. Yeah. It's beautiful. Incredible. Heard it was really nice. Nice, big, awesome buildings. There were some buildings. Beer. We could do the retrain spotting in Glasgow or Edinburgh if you wanted to, you know? I've never really liked Scotland, but I have no reason. You've never been? Never been and never wanted to go and don't really...

Like it. I wonder if Myers like Jedi mind tricked me into not liking Scottish people. It's pretty fun. They're pretty cool. I had a great time. Good puddings for them. The one thing, the one thing that really destroyed me when I was there was, you know, I stayed in like a beautiful home in Edinburgh and they served a full English breakfast every day. A Scottish breakfast every day. You have to walk like 32,000 steps to work that off. And it messed me up. Yeah. Morwitz aged the best. Cubby Webby womb room tea. That aged the best. I just thought that was funny. Um,

The Queen Elizabeth dartboard in the bathroom, which you see for a split second. Just like little stuff like that really works. No, that was in Ireland. Never mind. I was going to just tell a story that there was when Queen Elizabeth died, there was like a video of like soccer fans at a stadium chanting Lizzie's in a box. Irish! I put this in just for Chris for what's aged the best.

Drunk beer drinking dads on 70s recliners. Yeah. With bottles right next to them. Just for this. The movie credits in the beginning, I think, with the Boo Radleys and the giant cappuccino cup, has aged the best from like, oh, this was fun in the 90s when everybody tried to copy Goodfellas for like five years. I miss that era. It's probably the great shot Gordo of the movie. I don't know if you would. The cappuccino? Yeah, I agree.

I'm smitten. I'm in deep smit. Solid. I like when people twist words like that. I know that this has probably fallen out of larger fashion, but neurotic guys in the 90s navigating the world of relationships was pretty good movie fodder. Big Woody Allen hangover from that. But like Campbell Scott, Ethan Hawke, this, you know, it's like guys who are just like, oh, I can't get relationships right. It's like, eh.

Average looking guys who can attract the hottest women in the world who are like, I don't know about this. Should I commit? Dude, Nancy Travis is right there. The double date where they're fighting over the check. I like negatory. No. And they're just nobody's grabbing it. And then she just takes it. I like when the dad says the second time they go to the McKenzie's and he's like, show the picture of Charlie when he shit his pants at Niagara Falls. Yeah.

Just kind of stuck it in there that it is a Charlie, we're in there. Let a match. When he's just basically trying to make it seem like Charlie's taking a shit. Could you say the birth of Dr. Evil is in this movie? Evil. Evil. Evil. The fruits of the devil. I think whatever. He's probably playing around with it. Yeah, he's playing around with it. The back scratching maps. I really liked as a, which is the best. It's like golden gray bridge. Go to Oakland. It's Andrew's fault. They had really good chemistry. I thought the two of them.

I like when people leave a trail of dead husbands across the country. Yeah. So Black Widow with Teresa Russell and Debra Winger, which is a really solid movie that somebody should remake into a scripted series. But I like when somebody's got a past and then you can look it up and it's like, wait,

She lived in Miami. That's where that guy died. That's where Wayne... And then he was married and the wife disappeared. Yeah. Always good. Thumbs up. I just think it's funny to imagine, like, her being, like, if she was a killer, just being, like, so honest about everywhere she's been and every person she's been with. Yeah, all the artifacts from her previous marriages. Yeah. Yeah, I had a Harriet's apartment just because it was cool. Yeah. Good set. Tchotchke-filled 90s apartments. Yeah. The one thing that's missing is an oversized map of the Atlantic City. Yeah.

Oh, you got one. The supporting cast, we mentioned a lot of these people, but just Anthony LaPaglia, Amanda Plummer, Michael Richards, Brenda Fricker, Charles Grodin, Phil Hartman, Debbie Mazar, Stephen Wright, Alan Arkin, and then Sheila Kelly's in the pictures. I thought that was so funny. Yeah. That doesn't talk. They must have cut her out. Yeah. Is this the most overqualified cast in movie history? It's definitely a lot of... It's probably like you want to come do a day, maybe a day and a half. Yeah, with Mike Byers. Yeah.

For Sheila Kelly, it's like, can you pose for a picture with a cat? I can make fun of you during my beat poem. So apparently Nancy Travis cut her finger in real life during the butcher scene. And there's a couple shots where you can just see her with like a giant bandaid on her finger because she was laughing at Mike Myers and accidentally chopped her finger off and they had to reattach it.

The Alamo Drafthouse was showing anniversary showings and they lifted their no talking rule and allowed people to shout quotes at the screen. Wow. High praise. And then the last thing I had was the...

the, the, the Pally with the Serpico detective and the Alan Arkin where he's like, I thought it was going to be Serpico instead. I'm fish from Barney Miller. Yeah. It's aged the best and the worst. I got that joke. No way. Craig got it. But, uh, I love the back and forth. What, uh, what other words age best? Uh, no, I, I, I just really thought like nineties guy trying to sort out like long-term relationships was like, this is, this is actually a pretty big sweet spot for me. I mean, yeah,

Mike Myers in general. Yeah, early 90s Mike Myers. Because now we know we're never getting it back, right? So we got to cherish this very short list of movies he made in the 90s. Well, I like this movie so much that I created a new category for us that we won't use every week, but I think we're going to get some use out of it. I'm pretty excited about it. It's the Elizabeth Shue as an Oxford Electrochemist Award for

for most improbable casting of a hot actress. And it goes to Nancy Travis, who plays a hot butcher. How many hot butchers have you seen in your day? Honestly, not a single one.

Going down to the butcher. She's fucking smoking. How does it relate to all the other cities that she, like, was she a butcher in every town? She's a traveling butcher. I don't think, I don't know how she winds up with the job at World of Meats or Meats of the World. Meats of the World. But it doesn't look like she's been like,

on a trail of like opening and closing butcher shops across the country so this is just something she's taken up now that she's moved back or maybe she's like gotten a job fledgling butcher yeah but you have to learn how to do that she's overwhelmed by her customer base that's true she doesn't seem to have very good knife skills how would you do in a butcher shop uh front of house like fine but any kind of like i have to get the ribs off like not not well you

You ever worked in a butcher shop? I'd be terrible. You really have to pay attention and it's, it'd be just careful the whole time. I would chop my hand off. You'd lose a manacle? Yeah. I'd be like, wait, what's the Red Sox score? I do think though that a sneaky Dion Waiters candidate is the guy who's like, I'm next. I'm next. Do you agree that that category should be named after Elizabeth Shue in The Saint? Yeah. As an electrochemist working in Oxford? Or would you have gone with Nicole Kidman in that movie when she's like a

Neurologist in Days of Thunder? I have a really great candidate. Hold on one second. I'm going to tell you. I used to have a whole list of these people. I think I did it in a mailbag like 20 years ago. By far my favorite example of this is Denise Richards in The World is Not Enough. She plays Dr. Christmas Jones, an American nuclear physicist. That's right. That might be better than Elizabeth Shue.

Denise, so the Denise, what was her job again? She was a nuclear physicist. Her name is Dr. Christmas Jones. There was like a... The Denise Richards as Dr. Christmas Jones award. That's really good. We had a 15-year run there of like extremely hot women who would put on glasses for one scene. Yeah. And be like, I think there's an alien here. Yeah. She's all that effect. Yeah. There was somebody was doing nuclear fusion in one of those movies too. Yeah.

I want to say it was Nicole Kidman. I think she double dipped. She was in the Peacemaker. I think she was in the Nuclear Fusion in the Peacemaker. That sounds right. There's nothing funnier when it's like...

Here's the whoever. And it's just like six foot tall. And it can go both ways. There's been some really funny Keanu Reeves jobs. Yeah, it's true. It's like, come on. Yeah, but it was getting to the point where it was like, you know, the new leader of the United Nations is Shannon Tweed. They're pushing the envelope in the late 90s. The Den of Thieves Benihana Award scene stealing location. The hotel's pretty cool.

Yeah. At the end. Yeah. And I like the, uh, the, the poetry place. Great check order award was the opening credits. What's the Butch's girlfriend week link of the film for you? For me, it's the last like 15 minutes. It's just like, I know he's going to not get killed and let's just get to the end.

Yes. And also I think that the comedy after Grodin and Stephen Wright is a lot of like, oh, my balls. Yeah, it is really slapsticky when he's being chased on the roof. And like the accent between his fingers and everything. It's a very different tone from the rest of the movie. What's aged the worst? The pentavarite just because it led to where we were. I had that too. 90s green screen. What else do you have?

I mean, the birth of Mike Myers is a diva, you know? Yeah. It's kind of fucked up a lot of opportunity. A lot of comedy. I think...

This weekend is one of the best movie comedy weekends of all time. It's the same weekend as Robin Hood Men in Tights. It was my birthday weekend. I turned 11 on this weekend. And I saw both of these movies over this weekend. Did you go with a lot of homies? I did. I went with friends. But I got introduced to Dave Chappelle this weekend from Robin Hood Men in Tights. That was my first Mel Brooks movie in a theater. And Mike Myers, who I was just discovering from SNL and Wayne's World.

And I was like, oh my God. So very similar. I wasn't on a date. Did you write a birthday poem that year? Yep. Yeah. I'm going to perform it right now. More would stage the worst. Hello. Yeah. Just the, just so hacky. The guy with the bits at the coffee shop.

I also had the hygiene for the opening scene coffee mug where they basically... Oh, I had that in Nippix. They wash it for like one second. In dirty water. Wipe it down with a dirty rag and then hand it back to you. I'm so glad you brought that up. I had that later, but it's disgusting. Because I watched it and I'm like,

Wait a second. Was that the same cup that they pulled off a table and I rewound it? And yeah, they watched that thing for one second. I got to tell you guys, when I worked in catering, I worked as a dishwasher and pretty accurate. That's all I'm going to say. Yeah. As somebody with an extensive restaurant background, I'm going to also say accurate. I was just surprised they led the movie with it. What's aged the worst? There's only really one truly funny grandfather or father scene with Charlie's dad.

And I just feel like they were just sitting on...

plutonium. Basically, I mean, we get like three or four scenes with him. We do nothing that comes down. It's all solid, but nothing that compares to the first four minutes. He's funny in every scene he's in, but he doesn't get a lot of time after that. So this leads to my next, which is, could he have played darts in the, in the bar or something? Rather than the pentabular, why didn't we just get the Stuart McKenzie TV show? That would have been great. I've,

I do think that what's aged the worst is the split-screen technology. Oh, yeah. No question. Because you can see everybody who's in the scene with Stuart is basically holding on for dear life not to crack up. And then Mike Myers is just staring at a dot on a wall somewhere. Yeah, yeah. Some of the pop culture references. Did you know who Huggy Bear was, Craig? Yeah. And you've not seen Starsky and Hutch? No.

The soundtrack's okay. Oh, this is a shock. I thought you were going to flip out about the soundtrack because this is very Simmons core playlists. So you're not wrong, but it's like, I just feel like this was such an awesome time for music that they really could have landed the plane with one of the great soundtracks. It's like they put there. She goes on it twice. So the whites, but,

Right, but two different bands. But the song plays four times in the movie. Toad the Wet Sprocket, Soul Asylum, The Break, which is actually, I like that song. I think that Toad song, didn't it blow up off of the So I Married an Axe Murderer soundtrack? Big Audio Dynamite, that one's been on a couple movies. It was remixed. Yeah, I feel like that's a pretty familiar one. That song came out like 1990, right? That's not a new song. The old Ned's Atomic Dustbin, redoing this Saturday night.

And then the big one that really feels the most 1993 to me was Spin Doctor, Two Princes. Yeah. The Spin Doctors, I can't explain it, what happened. They were gigantic for four weeks, four months. It was longer than that. It was like a... Whatever. Massive on MTV. Better part of a year. Pocket full of kryptonite. I had that album. Yeah. Yeah. It was probably four months. They had two songs that were huge songs. They had two songs.

They had a video. They had kind of a weird guy who did like kind of the weird kind of dance fun thing. They were like the rock version of the jam band. Like it was them and Blues Traveler kind of popularized. But everyone flipped on them in the exact same time. Yeah.

It sucks when that happens, man. It was actually like when you're just like every single person in the world is like, I'm good. Those guys fucking suck. In what movie were they a punchline? Weren't they like a very obvious punchline in a movie a couple of years later?

Wasn't it like the fucking Spin Doctors? I'm telling you, it flipped instantaneously. It happened with Hootie and the Blowfish too, but they were more because that album was so huge. Everybody was kind of going, wait a second, what happened? Yeah, how is this bigger than the Eagles? Spin Doctors, people were like, yeah, won't you? And then one day we all looked at each other and we were like, they suck. Get them out of here.

And that was it. Seemed like an overreaction. It's perfectly fine. Pop rock songs. I think they have a couple of good songs. There you go. Get the doctor revival going. Maybe they'll come back.

My last What's Aged to Worst is I just can't see Amanda Plummer as a crazy person in a movie without thinking that she's going to go, I'm an ex-gay and I'm a fucking mother of a fucking one of you! I just, when she starts yelling at the end, I'm just in the coffee shop with her and Tim Roth. I like that little sneak preview of Pulp. Pulp. When is that coming? Well, next year's 30.

When pulp comes, that's when you'll know we're all out of here. That'll be it. That's how we, that will know. It's like, oh my God, they did the pulp fiction part. You mean out of here, you mean like, like depart this mortal coil? Yeah, that's just, we're all going to die. We're going to move to Scotland together. That's right. The three of us. And Craig, we're bringing Craig. That sounds nice. What was Amanda Plummer really quickly? Christopher Plummer's daughter. Yeah.

She starts her career. Can't stand her. She's kind of normal in movies. She's in World According to Garp. Freaks me out. She played Ellen James in World According to Garp. She's never played a normal character at any point in her life. But she's only psychos after this movie. Yeah. Right? She's like in Needful Things. She's in Pulp. She's only like... You just see her like, oh, she's the bad guy. It's like she's like the one-armed guy in The Fugitive. Like, oh, that guy. Don't trust that guy. Yeah, she... I don't think she could do anything other than play crazy.

I think she's, I've always thought she was too over the top. I kind of liked her in Pulp Fiction. She's fantastic in Pulp Fiction. Honey Bunny? Yeah. I don't know if you guys have seen that movie. I'm going to get around to it soon. I can't imagine any other actress in the universe as Honey Bunny. That's how good she is in Pulp Fiction. Emma Stone? No. No. No. You have to be legit crazy. If you saw Emma Stone sitting in a diner with, like, you would just be like, oh, wow. Emma Stone with, like, I felt like Emma Stone could do crazy.

I agree, but there's something feral about Amanda Plummer. Where it's like, did she just come in off the street? That's a great point. You could maybe get away with like, I was going to say Julia Fox. Julia Fox? Yeah. That's not what I think of when I think of Julia Fox. Not feral, let me tell you. I don't know about that one, Chris. All right, Jesus Christ. God damn it, Chris! Jesus, Chris. Well, you know what Sean's feelings about Julia Fox. Jesus Christ. The queen of Long Island. Come on.

Sean went to her book signing. Julia, can you sign this too, Sean? Yeah. I love the big picture. Thanks, Julia. You're my hall pass.

I don't know. It was actually like a six-month window with Julia Fox, and things went way crazy, but that six months, man, we really had something. You guys had Aaron Rodgers lined up with Julia Fox and cooking. The spin doctors. Yeah. God, it was all coming together for the Long Islanders. Ron Burgundy flew to where... Steve Cohen is spending... I know. Ron Burgundy flew to where best time for a pee break. Probably like right around when they get engaged to the wedding, and you can just... The actual wedding, you can jump into the bathroom. Was there a better title for this movie?

I have a note about this, which is that it should be so, comma, I married an axe murderer, dot, dot, dot. How do you feel about the spelling of axe? Well, it's not... Are you an AX guy or are you an AXE guy? I believe AX is how style at The Ringer. We need to confirm that with Craig Gaines. I think it's AX, though.

Oh, I think it should be AXE though. Because? Because that's how it's spelled. How is it? When is it? It's spelled AX ever? I think so. I think Chicago style is AX. I've never been. So what would you go with a better title or no? I don't understand the punctual, like any of the punctual. It's just, so I married an ax murderer. Is that a sentence?

I don't like the title. I think it has a little bit of a... The one about... Right, but where's the ellipsis? I know. I'm just saying, I think it was in the manner of the day of trying to make a funny sentence out. Like, when Harry met Sally. I guess that's a little bit easier to understand. You're right that it is clearly inspired by when Harry met Sally. Would you rather call it pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities? Is that better? Yeah.

So I pissed into the bitch's ucker cavities. That would be an incredible prequel about Vicky. I do really want to have the Machine Gun Kelly in Alcatraz movie. Should they have done it as a flashback in the movie? I had that in Unanswerable Questions. Do you think that story is true? Or was that Myers just coming up with it? I don't know. Who knows? We've got Machine Gun in it. Come on in, Machine Gun. I don't think it's the right title. What do you think it should be?

Harriet Sweet Harriet? No. Who would see that movie? If I was like, hey, Bill, you want to go see Harriet Sweet Harriet with me this weekend? There is a great slasher called Alice Sweet Alice. My Killer Wife? Something like that. My Wife the Murderer? That's probably... My Axe-Murdering Wife?

I don't know. I don't know. This one is memorable for some reason. It's always irked me the way that it's styled. Maybe it's memorable because the styling of it is so bad. Yeah. Best quote, basically anything Stuart McKenzie says. What's your absolute favorite? Float away, you fairy!

Well, you know, it's a funny quote was like, I know when they, she's like, what do you like about a woman? And he says, I know everyone says sense of humor, but I'd really have to go with breast size. Um, now for McKenzie, I don't know. He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow. That's probably the best one. That just kills the Paglia. He's like done after that. He's rolled over. Um, all right, let's take a break and then we'll do how to steak.

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I actually just kind of sneaky think that Harriet and Charlie don't have any chemistry because all of the scenes which they're getting along are montages. So we don't really get a chance to see like why she would like him other than like, I guess she thinks he's funny. But... Yeah, they have flirt energy, but not like, what would they talk about at dinner on a Thursday night energy? And this gets into much larger unanswerable questions and picking nits about Charlie. But for me, I think that my hottest take is like,

That was a charity case by Harriet in almost any other scenario. My hot sake is related to that, which is that Charlie is one of the 10 worst movie characters in the history of film. We know nothing about this guy other than he has Scottish parents and he's a beat poet. Does he have a job? Does he have a career? I had that later. Yeah, I have that. So this movie's on Max.

And in the description, it says a bookstore owner falls in love with dot, dot, dot. That's a bookstore owner. They never mentioned. Unless the implication is that that coffee shop is Charlie's and that there is a bookstore there. There's no indication of that. Yeah. He's like, I'm going up tonight. Yeah. So he's unemployed. He's a beat poet and his family's insane. And he has fear of commitment.

Well, he clearly has time all day to just drive around. Just hop behind the counter at the butcher. Stopping by the newspaper to drop off this ad for my parents' 30th anniversary. Like, what is this guy doing with his life?

Get a job, Charlie. It's funny because my hottest take is related to your hottest takes. Nancy Travis, worst-tasted men of any actress in the last 35 years. This is great. Garcia in Internal Affairs. Incredible. Fucking domestic violence asshole. Charlie the Broke Poet. Jeff from The Vanishing, who's going away on the weekends. Fucking search for his dead girlfriend. Becker and Tim Allen.

It's the fucking murderer's row. So we have to do the total affairs to complete the Nancy Travis trilogy. There's also Michael J. Fox in Greed. That's the other one. Oh, that's a good one. What is it about her that's like, let's put her with the fucking loser or an asshole? I don't know. She seems like a lovely person. Yeah. She's that very specific kind of beautiful that seems very normal. Doesn't seem unattainable. I loved her. She's great.

She was like one of my absolute early 90s all-time favorites. I think she hangs well with Myers in a weird movie where Myers is like, I'm doing bits here, everybody, in this normal world. I'm doing bits the whole time. I think she keeps up and sells it great. She still looks great. She's on...

What is she on now? She's on that Tim Allen show, right? Yeah, I don't know what show she's on. Yeah, she's on... Yeah. Last Man Standing? I think that's it. Yeah. Last Man Standing. Okay. Unbelievable career. Little Nolan Ryan-ish. Yeah. Still going. Still throwing high 90s. No hitters. Still right around the corner. But yeah, I don't know why they didn't just put her in a normal movie. She was around for... Oh, and she was also... She was the lady from Three Men and a Baby, but I don't know which one...

was the dad but it was steve guttenberg selleck or danson it was guttenberg add him to the list damn destiny turns on the radio forgot about this one casting what ifs a lot of people attached to this there was some chevy chase thing we know for sure that the studio wanted gary shandling and then they backed out and there was a big dispute about that gary shandling in this movie

I think it would have been a lot more neurotic. Yeah. The fear of commitment. I'm not against it. Post Woody Allen leading man is definitely a Gary Shandling. I'm not against Gary Shandling. Probably would have been better with Chevy though. This feels like a Chevy movie. Yeah. Woody Allen was allegedly on board for three weeks and then wanted a lot of money. He's way too old and I don't know how that would have worked. Yeah.

I 90% believe this, but Sharon Stone was supposed to play Harriet and she wanted to play Harriet and Rose and have them be kind of an interesting flex. I love that idea. Yeah. I love that idea. And they said no. And then she said, fuck off. Not a bad idea. I don't want to dump my girl Nancy Travis. But the crazy twin sister as played by Sharon Stone. That's a, it's a different movie, but it's a cool movie. That's pretty good.

Can you imagine Tommy Schlammy with like two stars who are both playing multiple roles? Also Mike Myers and Sharon Stone on the same set is chaos. Yeah, that's a good point. Myers wanted Ackroyd to play his buddy because he idolized Ackroyd and Ackroyd was making cone heads at the time. Double bomb.

John Candy. I'm sorry. I will. John Candy was the first choice to be the police captain boss, but couldn't do it. And then Gary Busey was supposed to be Vicky. But did Rookie of the Year instead and dropped out. Oh, incredible performance. And then we end up with Phil Hartman. And then I guess this is true. Sean Connery was supposed to play Stuart McKenzie. No. That was in the, this is half-assed. And then they tried to get Michael Caine as well.

And then he decided to do it himself. I don't know. Who knows? I'm thankful it worked out the way that it did. Sean Connery as Stuart McKenzie is fucking weird. Thank God that didn't happen. Can you imagine if Sean Connery was just in this movie for three scenes and it made like no money? It was just like one of them. It's like Sputnik. He was pretty hot. Sean Connery's stretch too.

ruffle hannah rubin a partridge over acting word they knew and they let it happen don't you call me lady i come in here i give these things to you give me all you got this and give me all you got i treated you like a son you fucking stabbed me in the heart fuck you fuck you amanda plumber oh i was actually gonna go for myers here oh just for hello hello

Maybe hello is actually funny. Should we bring it in? Should we make it a part of the show? Chris, just start doing it. The hello award. Just start doing it on the watch. Do it with Andy, but don't tell him. Like Andy makes a pun and I'm like, hello! Do it on Monday's watch and see if he's like, Chris, what the fuck is going on? Why are you doing this? Do it like a hundred times. Andy has a little bit of hello to him. A little bit. He does, yeah. A little bit of riffage. I'm in my own movie.

Heifetz has it. I can see Heifetz doing it on Fantasy Football Pod. Maybe it's time to introduce Hello to Heifetz. Yeah, he'll beat a bit into the ground. A lot of people catching strays on this pod. No, Austin Gale is a big winner. Yeah, he's the beat poet of the ringer. I love that. Defeat your way!

You called out the Blitz. Give me a kiss. Oh, my God. Best that guy word.

Some incredible nominees here, including the Amco mechanic from Curb. Or Borat's prostitute date. Who was my winner? Lunel. She plays the cop. Yeah. She's in A Star Is Born, too. I couldn't remember where I saw her for a while. And then I clicked. Yeah. She has a bunch of those over the years. She was like the woman at the checkout register at the beginning of A Star Is Born, too. Yeah. I think Sheila Kelly works as well. Yeah. That's a good one.

Dion Waiters Awards. This is one of the hardest Dion Waiters I've ever had. No, it's not. It's Hartman, but it's an incredible... I do think Richards is on the podium. Richards can't believe he didn't win it. Grodin's in here. Who else would you have? Debbie Mazur is perfect in her one-lip view. She's just like electrocuted. Being electrocuted. I like that a lot. It's got to be Hartman, though. No Stephen Wright. He's a nominee. Some great Dion candidates. I've never done it at night.

Re-casting couch. I don't know. I mean, you want to get Amanda Plummer out of that? Yeah, you want to get Olivia Dabo in for Amanda Plummer or something? Oh, like someone a little less obvious. Yeah. Yeah, I do think that it would be better to have a head fake. Yeah. Debbie Mazur would be a good rose, honestly. Yeah, I love Debbie Mazur. So it has to be somebody around Nancy Travis's age. Either a little lower or a little higher.

but it can't be somebody too famous. Nancy Travis is 62. What if it was Glenn Close? Too old. How about our girl Sandy Bullock? She wasn't famous enough yet. Very non-threatening. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be pretty cool. Is Sandra Bullock 62? If that's true, that's mind-blowing. How is she 62? What do you mean? I'm just saying, like, is she around Nancy Travis's age? Yeah, 59. 59. She is the Nolan Ryan. That's remarkable. You see her in The Lost City? She's 59? Yeah. My word.

She's just a delight. Another one I loved. Love Potion number nine. Just loved her. While you were sleeping. Half-assed internet research. Myers had to put three to four hours of prosthetic makeup on to play Stuart. It's so funny because all he really needs is the glasses. The glasses is what makes it. Yeah. There's some screenwriting stuff where...

Obviously, Myers rewrote that script and put in 90% of the bits because they're all like screaming Mike Myers. But the Writers Guild gave the screenwriting credit to the guy who originally wrote the script. And Myers was pissed about it. The restaurant, the Fog City Diner, where they eat, that's gone. The butcher shop they use for Meats of the World was actually Prudente Meats on Grant Avenue. Still exists. Do you go to like an independent butcher for your meats? My wife does the farmer's market one. Okay.

which is really good. You're a big McCall's guy. I slaughter all my own hogs. That's good. The hotel is the Dunsmuir House in East Oakland. And then the cafe is Cafe Rhodes. It's in the bar Vesuvio, which is at the corner of Columbus Avenue and Jack Kerouac Alley. Still exists, apparently. Nancy Travis married the producer after filming this movie. That fucking lucky bastard. Um...

Great job by Robert Freed. Yeah. Produces... The movie didn't make money, but he... He seems also like a pretty cool guy. All his quotes and the So I Married an Axe Murderer 20 years later kind of pieces are really delightful. The soccer game that they watched...

Scotland won, won nothing, and it took place in Denver, Colorado on May 17th, 1992 at Mile High Stadium, Chris. Yeah, I don't think the USMNT... Who was on the pitch for us? Do you remember? I can't imagine, but that was a pretty decent run for Scotland in 92. They were in the U.S. and stuff. Interesting. They were a solid team. That's got to be early Tony Miola days, right? Sure. And then an eyewitness said that Myers doing the woman poem took like 14 hours to shoot because...

He kept flubbing the takes. And she said, I hear it in my sleep sometimes. Whoa, man. Hold on. I got to do that again. Apex Mountain, Mike Myers. Now I'm going to say yes for Nancy Travis with this and the vanishing at the same time. I felt like I thought her career was going to keep going up. She went into TV instead. I feel like she probably did pretty well on Becker.

Oh, yeah. Like 20 million people were watching Becker every week. It's kind of crazy. Did you watch one minute of Becker? No, never. Do you know what the plot of Becker was? Becker was a newspaper editor.

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. He was a hat maker. I love Ted Danson, but I was like, we had such a good with Sam Malone. I'm out. Dr. John Becker is easily a doctor. Yeah. By noisy neighbors, a ridiculous comment, a flickering streetlight. He's a talented and dedicated doctor and goes the extra mile for those in need. But he doesn't waste a chance to give anyone a piece of his mind. Oh, it's a cantankerous doctor. Dr. Becker.

Oh yeah. I'm just looking at the, uh, Shawnee Smith. Yeah. From the saw films. It went from 98 to 2004. Yeah. Shawnee Smith. My mom, my wife's mom came over like a week and a half ago. Cause we were gone for a while and she came over with her dog to hang out with our dogs for a few hours. And I was like, do you want me to put something on TV for you? And she said, no. And I was like, no, I'll put something on. And you're like, you're going to be here for like two hours. Cause she was waiting for somebody. She's like, can you put on the golden girls?

So I'm like, I can absolutely do that. She's 83. Um, so found gold, gold girls on Hulu. I'm like, what season? Like one of the earlier seasons. She's like, yeah. So we put in the first episode of season two, Blanche was pregnant. What? Blanche got pregnant. Rue McClanahan's character. The character is pregnant. The character was pregnant. And that was, and I put that on and I left and I don't know what happened to Blanche.

But it made me think like this. There's no way she was actually pregnant. It was the first episode of season two. Well, that's one of the things about the Golden Girls. First of all, I like the Golden Girls. Me too. It's actually really funny. It's a really funny show. I was laughing. I think that Dorothy and Blanche...

are on the younger side of retirement. What, like 59? What are we talking about? I had no idea that Blanche was pregnant. I don't know if that's... Blanche was apparently like the harlot of the group. She was. So it was like, oh man, Blanche is doing it again. She's getting around, yeah. Still, Geddy was not getting it in. The show was like... I'm not kidding when I say I never had seen a single minute of it before and I was just kind of like, what's going on? You've never seen the show before? Never, never. Get the fuck out of here. You've never watched the Golden Girls? Never.

That's a rare blind spot for you. Because I feel like you're really up on it. That show was a huge show. And it was good. I know. Craig, did you ever see the Golden Girls? No. That's funny. You should do like a 400 episode Golden Girls rewatch. With Karis Bob. Were you into Maud? Like, do you have any Bea Arthur stock? Didn't watch Maud. Wow. Wow. That's a big blind spot for you. My biggest Bea Arthur...

you know, connection is Jeff Ross saying, I wouldn't fuck her with B. Arthur's dick at the roast, which is, that's how I always think of B. Arthur now. The funniest roast joke of all time. Um,

Apex Mountain for Scottish people? I was going to say Scotland. It's an incredible run here. We go 1991 Teenage Fan Club releases, bandwagon-esque. Yeah. We got Scotland making the Euros for the first time in 92. Axe Murderer, Braveheart in 95, and Trainspotting in 96. What a run. Incredible. The 90s belong to Scotland. Incredible. And somehow we skipped going, you and me. Yeah.

We mentioned, I truly think that the early 90s right around now is pre-Silicon Valley, San Francisco, Apex Mountain. This was like the best fucking time to go to San Francisco. I loved going. I loved seeing my friends there. It was the most fun. The maroon Volkswagen Karmann Ghia convertible that he had. I don't know what year that was. Is that Quentin's car too? Is that the Bill car? I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. That's a really cool car. Nice one.

How about Haggis? Apex Mountain for Haggis? Probably. Never seen that in another movie. Definitely where I learned about Haggis. Did you ever have a car where, like, if it started, was kind of, like, up for debate every single time? Yeah, the fucking Saab Turbo. Yeah. Crooks. Do you miss it? I hate Saab. That's the reason that company went under. The worst car company of all time. Those crooks.

Oh, they were. They were crooks. Yeah. Why were they crooks? Because they made bad cars. I just, I was just reading in a novel that was set in the 70s and this guy, it's like three pages of this guy trying to get his car started. I don't, I never think about that anymore. Yeah. And I was like, this is so weird. You just press a button and everything starts. But like back then my dad used to have to like pump the gas five times. Yeah.

do the lock three times and then pray and then turn the key. I've told you that. I drove a 1980 Buick Regal to high school for a year. Every morning was an adventure, truly. My dad had an Audi in the 70s that was the same thing. It was like,

Oh, it started. It was like one of those. Harder to get the parts for those too then. Yeah, because you'd have like one German guy in town could do it. Yeah, we hated Audi. We thought Audi was never, and then Audi made this huge comeback. Audi's are great now. They were not great in the 70s. I liked aesthetically, I really liked Saabs. Like to look at. Yeah, that was how they hooked you in.

Like, isn't this car look nice? Like, yeah, it does. And it's cheaper than BMW. Kind of a Nancy Travis of cars, you know? And then all of a sudden, tax murder. Crooks. Hey, go find a Saab now. You can't. Weekly World News. I think this is Apex Mountain for the Weekly World News. Never seen it used better in a movie. Okay. I'll go with that. The Paglia? Probably the TV show. Pregnant man gives birth. These are facts.

How about McEwen's export beer? Yeah, I think that was probably created for this. Eight bottles? You don't think that was a real beer? Oh, yeah. I don't know. I'm not sure. I've never heard of it. Scottish weddings? Apex Mountain? Uh, hmm. I feel like there's got to be another memorable moment with men in kilts at a wedding. Oh, McEwen's is real. My bad.

The Caldonian Brewing Company. Shout out to them. That's great. Chris taking more shots at the Scotland, at the Scots. Why don't you just get educated? You know, get over there, get educated. You spend plenty of time in the UK. How about beat poetry and movies? Woman! I mean, yeah. Did you ever go see live poetry in your life?

I have, yes, but not with the intention of seeing live poetry, with the intention of just being out. Do you think you and I have a close enough relationship that if I was like, Sean, I'm going to read a poem tonight at a cafe, would you come? I wouldn't come. No, I wouldn't come. I would ask. I'd be so mortified. Chris is doing beat poetry. Would you be like, I have to watch Reptile for a third time? I would only go if Phoebe went. She would not go. Because I want to see Phoebe watch you read poetry. No. Have you ever read poetry to a woman?

No. No. But you have. No, I haven't. I've read a short. I've read fiction to a woman. Fiction. But not my own. What did you read? I think I read like. Sounds of the Lambs. I read Heat 2. The Exorcist. I was like, this is where Shireless goes. Craig, did you ever read poetry to a woman? No, I have not. Yeah. Never done beat poetry. No. Okay. I don't have any relationship with beat poetry.

slam poetry no slam poetry was what was big when i was yeah slam poetry at a moment picking nits we mentioned charlie not having a job the dad says soccer instead of football i was a little taken aback complete bullshit yeah he would say football what's that about that was a meyers mistake what do you mean it was it you think that that was a studio note to so the audience is canadian so i wonder if they're just like soccer and yeah but like do they say soccer i don't know okay

Who makes someone a health shake as a surprise? I would just assume my wife was trying to kill me. A lot of her stuff is weird. He has reason to be suspicious. She's super weird. Her health shake also looks like Kool-Aid. Yeah. It doesn't look like it went into a juice tiger. It's also weird that there's multiple jokes about making healthy drinks. Like, you know, Brenda Flicker's got the juice ninja. Yeah, the juice tiger, yeah. Um...

I, along that point, like from a pick and knit, like she's fucking weird. I know she's hot, but Jesus, like she's talking about murdering there on the first day. She's like, uh, what do you mean? Have I ever like brutally murdered somebody? She's just like, why would you say that? I would be like this. I'm not going to marry you. You're, you're, you're in too. You're too weird. Yeah. She's been through some serious trauma. She's had three husbands disappeared. Okay. You guys are bagging on Nancy Travis.

Poor Harriet. Nobody at the wedding from Harriet's side brought up any of the other weddings or dead husbands. Never came up, even in the reception after when everybody's drinking. Like, hey, you know that Harriet's been married before. There's a lot of narrative threading that you could nitpick. If you're a friend of Harriet, are you going to wedding number four? Like, how many weddings until you stop going to your friend's wedding? Wow. That's a bold question.

I'd go to two. If Sean got married five times, are you going to all five? Well, you know, the thing is I like weddings. I don't necessarily want to buy five wedding gifts, but I do enjoy a wedding. Even if the first three ended in death. Have you been to any weddings? Have you been to multiple weddings for any friends? Like more than two? Yeah, have you been to any second weddings? No, third is the one that I'm interested in. I've been to a second wedding, not a third. Third, that to me is the demarcation point.

It's like you go on a Sean's wedding. It's number three. He's married Jessica Chastain. Let's go. She's still saying she's 49. Yeah. I say this from the bottom of my heart. If I marry Jessica Chastain, neither of you fucks are invited. Come on. Really? That's hilarious.

Just going to be me and Jessica. Alone. Me and Jessica. Trying to figure out that EGOT. How can we get that? I can help her. I know about the campaigning. That's what I have to offer her.

How far away was the honeymoon that the Paglia had to fly? I don't know. It's a really good call. He's been playing for an hour. Yeah, they go to Big Sur. The cops get there one minute after he does. Yeah. And I'm like, so you saved a minute by taking the plane. Also, they know the storm is happening, right? Because he loses power. So he's like, I'm going to fly right into that storm. That's a really weird choice. Any other pick and hits for you guys? We mentioned a lot. Um...

Yeah. I mean, like the Weekly World News really nailed this story. Yeah. Like how did they nail it so well? I think everyone's, you know, one out of a hundred times. It's right. Yeah. Okay. Sequel, prequel, prestige TV, all black cast are untouchable.

All podcasts that you could talk me into for this. I would also go untouchable. It would be funny if Eddie Murphy had just done this movie and played other parts himself. He was like crossed between Boomerang and this. Naughty Professor. Yeah. It's Eddie Murphy, Nia Long, and Vivica A. Fox as the sister. Sounds great. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Catherine Hatton, Steve Buscemi, Sam Jackson, Frank Vincent, JT Walsh, or Philip Baker Hall? I just want to say I can't believe Buscemi wasn't in this movie.

It was prime early Buscemi. I could see Buscemi as Tony.

That would have been good. Or just like a two-minute Buscemi as the guy who checks him into the hotel. That's a good one. Just something. It just feels like he needed to be in this. It's so weird. Do you have other thoughts, Chris? Heed! I didn't know I was working with Super Detective Inspector! This lassie has a dubious past! If she is an ax murderer, then she is going to jail a long fucking time!

Wait, why? Scottish Wayne Jenkins. That might be it. We might be done. That might be the last one. Why is Wayne Jenkins? That might be the last one I do. Scottish Wayne. Why is Wayne Jenkins Scottish? Scottish Wayne Jenkins. Do you want me to do like, here's the backstory of our week? But like, we have a cop. Like, he could just be Tony Giordino. I like Scottish Wayne Jenkins. But there's no libel. I don't like his old fucking tits. I don't like his old fucking tits.

Let the man cook. Yeah, Jesus. I'm just looking for logic in Wayne Jenkins and I can't find it. That's it? You're retiring Wayne Jenkins? No, I'm just saying. That could be it. Scottish Wayne Jenkins. A challenge. I don't know how we topped that. I could see Philip Baker Hall in this movie, by the way. Oh, yeah. As Arkin or something like that. I mean, actually, Danny Trejo, Sam Jackson easily could have been in this movie. JT Walsh easily could have been in this movie. Yeah. It's one of those movies. Just one Oscar who gets it. I guess Myers.

Yeah. Is Hartman in it long enough? Would that be the shortest? Yeah. I would actually give it to Myers for supporting actors for Stewart. Wow. Oh, wow. Yeah. Mike Myers as Stewart McKenzie? Has that ever been done before? I don't know. Probably not. It's probably illegal. Oh, that's intriguing. Do you think there's a law?

Gavin Newsom is like, I veto this to allow Mike Myers. I'd like to ask the Academy about that. Yeah, you should. Could you be nominated? Could Eddie Murphy have been nominated for one of the Nutty Professor family members? Right. I like the idea of one of those characters being significantly more moving than the other two. You know, we got to give it to him first. Probably unanswerable questions.

Why is Meats of the World completely empty one day and completely packed the next day? Like, packed. Incredible question. Packed. Zero people to like 50. Makes no sense. Yeah. And why is she the only person who's working there all the time? It's a Friday afternoon. I will say McCall's, our beloved McCall's in Los Feliz. Yeah. Gets crowded. It gets really crowded on Fridays. Because everybody's like, it's barbecue time. We got to get all the meats for the weekend. So maybe it was a Friday.

What is haggis? This is actually answerable, but I want to go through it. It's the national dish of Scotland.

It's a type of pudding composed of the liver, heart, and lungs of a sheep, minced and mixed with beef or mutton suet and oatmeal, and seasoned with onion, cayenne pepper, and other spices. The mixture is packed into a sheep's stomach and boiled. Yep. That sounds fucking disgusting. I also don't know if people are taking down haggis on a daily basis. I think it's an older delicacy.

I don't think it's something you're just like, did the haggis come in today? Like, you probably have to order that, what, four weeks in advance? She's got meats of the world, so she's got, she should have those things on hand. If there's a place that would be carrying it on a regular basis. What I just laid out, is that something you would ever eat in a million years? Would you have one bite of that? Did you have haggis when you were at Scotland? I can't remember. I can't imagine you eating that. I'm pretty sure they put it on the plate one morning because they changed it up every morning. We were there for four nights, so it's possible.

I don't know. The food was pretty intense in Scotland. Any other unanswerables? Best double feature choice of this movie, Chris? I got Rear Window, another great San Francisco movie. I also had a Hitchcock movie.

There's a great Hitchcock movie called Suspicion. Yeah. Starring Cary Grant and Joan Fontaine. This movie kind of steals from it, right? Very much based on this about a woman who's married a guy and she's not sure if he's going to kill her. And they feel very much in conversation with each other. I always liked that plot. What was that? They tried to do a Bruce Willis and Halle Berry that didn't work. Oh, Vertigo. Yeah, that's San Francisco. What's the one? Bruce Willis and Halle Berry? Once they start dating and she thinks he's going to kill her. Is that Gothica? Yeah.

No, it's like an erotic thriller. Bruce Willis and Halle Berry. Halle Berry. Hold on. Perfect Stranger? Yeah, Perfect Stranger. Oh, Perfect Stranger. I haven't seen that. I like those where somebody falls for somebody, but guess what? They have a past. They're not who they say they are. I have The Vanishing for best double feature choice. Just four hours of Nancy Travis. Let's go.

The Andy and Red's want an air word for what happened the next day. I think the marriage gets annulled. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Well, also there's absolutely zero economic stability to this couple. No, it's like a occasionally packed, but usually empty butcher shop.

and a poet. The last working poet in America. Silicon Valley comes in and blows these two out. Maybe they get a good price. They're living in Sacramento with sharing custody of a kid 10 years from now. Since Amanda Plummer's character is going to prison, does she get sole ownership of that apartment? Because if so, that's prime real estate. Oh, sell that. Maybe she becomes rich, man.

What piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie? I really like the Atlantic City poster, but I'll go with the coffee cup at the beginning. Yeah. Or the Scottish Wall of Fame. The coffee cup? The disgustingly clean coffee cup? Just like, hey, it's the giant coffee cup. The Scottish Wall of Fame would be pretty cool to just have right there. You could probably recreate that. Yeah. There was two pictures I couldn't see. I freeze-framed it. There were two that I just couldn't tell who they were. I want the bagpipes. Mike Myers' car.

Chris always goes for the car. It's like the, of course the car is the answer. Okay. Mike Myers is sports coat. Like, I don't know. You guys are getting all punchy. No, like, like what's, what's. Guys, guys, guys, hold it together. I know it's been a long pod. We're going to get through it. The coach Finstock award for best life lesson. Get your marriage annulled. If you find out on your honeymoon that your spouse is brutally widowed multiple times, that's an annulment.

Everyone understands. Throw that marriage out. It's a very good take. Who wins the movie? Myers? Well, it's a weird one, right? Because obviously everything he gives the movie makes it so memorable. Yeah. But it bombed and he never made a movie like this ever again. And so is that a win? I think... Maybe the producer married Nancy Travis got the win. I do also think, though, we get...

the hints of what's to come here. So on the flip side of that, like, do you get Austin Powers without this? Without him being like, I can do both. I think it's a win for him because I think it's his most beloved movie now. Also, like, who else would win this movie? Like, San Francisco? Oh. Want to do that? Yeah. Does that make you feel better? Solid. Sounds great. We're back to being friends again? Come on. Myers wins the movie. What are we doing? Did you like it? I loved it.

You did. I did. I genuinely enjoyed it. So Craig hadn't seen it. No. I'm kind of shocked. And when we told Craig that we were doing this, I was like, 100% chance Craig likes this movie. I don't know why it landed with me, but it really did. It's a great concept. I enjoyed their weird execution of it. I like the... I just think... This is the first time I've ever seen Mike Myers as not a character.

Yeah. It's funny thinking about Mike Myers. He has such like a big impact on my life. My friends, like Mike Myers is huge. And it's literally only because of Austin Powers. It's weird to have somebody with such a real, I have, I feel like I have such a relationship with, and I'm like, to be honest, I've never seen Wayne's world. I've seen the SNL sketches. I've never seen the movies.

And it's literally just Austin Powers. Yeah. Other than, like, him doing things like Inglourious Bastards. So it's kind of weird that I feel so connected to him, but it just shows how, like, big of a deal Austin Powers was. But yeah, I don't know. I think I like...

I like SNLE movies where it's like you have the main character and there's just like a bunch of Dion Waiters from that like... Yeah, yeah. That era's comedy universe mixing in. And we don't... There's no universe anymore. It feels very independent now. And it's like you don't get the like, oh my God, that guy's doing the three-minute scene. And then there's a four... You know, even in like Happy Gilmore, it's like, oh, the Ben Stiller scene. We don't really get that anymore. And I think that's why I liked it. But...

What was your single favorite scene? It's the beat poetry, man. It kills me. Woman! Whoa, man! I also think Myers is one of the best yellers in comedy history. I think it's him and Farrell are the two best yellers. Oh, yeah. Farrell's probably the champ, but it's like a seven-game series. Yeah. And, like, this was fun. The Fat Bastard connections was great.

Craig, did you also like that this was like probably minus credits, like a cool 88 minutes? Oh, yeah. 93 minutes total? Craig loves a short movie. It's the best. Craig would make the town nine minutes if he had a bigger say in the producer. I would. It would just be like immediately over. All right, that's it. Produced by Craig Horlbeck. Thank you, Chris. Thank you, Sean. Thanks, Mike Myers. You can check this movie out. It's on Max. I think it's on a couple places, but it's definitely on Max. It's on Max. Good to see you guys. Thanks, Bill. Thanks, Bill.