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cover of episode 3 Keys to Becoming the Parent You Always Needed

3 Keys to Becoming the Parent You Always Needed

2025/5/16
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The School of Greatness

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Dr. Becky Kennedy
临床心理学家、著名育儿专家和作家,创立了Good Inside育儿运动,著有畅销书《Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be》。
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Jerry Wise
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Scott Galloway
一位结合商业洞察和个人故事的畅销书作者、教授和企业家。
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Dr. Becky Kennedy: 作为父母,我深知育儿是世界上最重要也是最困难的工作,但我们却常常缺乏足够的准备和支持。我常常反思,为什么我们不把育儿看作一项需要专业知识和技能的工作,就像医生需要接受医学训练一样?我们不应该感到羞愧,而是应该积极寻求资源和支持,无论是通过阅读书籍、参加课程还是加入社群。我发现,许多父母最初是为了解决孩子的问题而来寻求帮助,但最终他们意识到,育儿也是一个自我成长的机会。通过学习如何更好地理解和支持孩子,我也学会了如何更好地照顾自己,例如敢于表达自己的需求,设定界限,并追求自己的梦想。我意识到,育儿不仅仅是关于孩子,也是关于我们自己。我希望所有的父母都能明白,育儿不是一项孤立的任务,而是一个与孩子共同成长的旅程。让我们一起努力,打破传统的育儿模式,用爱和理解来滋养我们的孩子,同时也让自己成为更好的人。 Dr. Becky Kennedy: 我认为,现代育儿最大的误区之一就是试图让孩子永远快乐。我曾经也认为,我的职责就是消除孩子所有的痛苦和不适,让他们生活在一个无忧无虑的世界里。但后来我发现,这种做法实际上剥夺了孩子学习如何应对负面情绪的机会。当孩子遇到挫折、失望或悲伤时,我们不应该急于去“修复”他们,而是应该允许他们感受这些情绪,并帮助他们学习如何调节情绪。我意识到,真正的韧性不是避免痛苦,而是能够承受痛苦,并从中成长。我希望我的孩子能够成为一个情绪健康的人,能够坦然地面对生活中的各种挑战,而不是一味地追求快乐。我希望他们明白,生活不仅仅是阳光和彩虹,也有阴雨和风暴,而正是这些经历塑造了我们,让我们变得更加坚强和有智慧。 Dr. Becky Kennedy: 我一直认为,父母和孩子之间最重要的关系是连接。我记得小时候,我的教练总是对我大喊大叫,这让我感到非常害怕和怨恨。我不想让我的孩子也经历同样的感受。因此,我努力在纠正孩子行为之前先与他们建立连接。我会尝试去理解他们行为背后的原因,而不是简单地惩罚他们。例如,当我的孩子打弟弟时,我不会直接把他送到房间里,而是会蹲下来,看着他的眼睛,问他发生了什么事。我会尝试去理解他的愤怒和挫败感,并帮助他找到更合适的表达方式。我相信,只有当我们真正理解孩子时,我们才能有效地帮助他们改变行为。我希望我的孩子知道,无论他们做什么,我都会爱他们,支持他们,并帮助他们成为更好的人。

Deep Dive

Chapters
The episode starts by questioning the challenges of raising children without proper guidance, comparing it to a surgeon performing surgery without adequate training. It emphasizes that parenting is the most important yet hardest job, lacking the necessary preparation and support.
  • Lack of training for parents
  • Parenting is the hardest job in the world
  • Importance of resources and support in parenting

Shownotes Transcript

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What if raising kids isn't about fixing them, but understanding your own emotional patterns first? In this powerful mashup episode, three experts transform how we think about family dynamics. Dr. Becky Kennedy reveals why making happiness the goal of childhood creates anxious adults, Scott Galloway shares how fatherhood at 42 shifted his priorities from status-seeking to finding unexpected contentment, and family therapist Jerry Wise explains how breaking free from your family's emotional trance is the true path to healing. This conversation exposes how parenting becomes our greatest opportunity for personal growth - not by healing through our children, but by facing the triggers they inevitably expose.

Dr. Becky’s book Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be)

Scott’s book The Algebra of Wealth: A Simple Formula for Financial Security)

Scott’s book The Algebra of Happiness: Notes on the Pursuit of Success, Love, and Meaning)

Scott’s book The Four: The Hidden DNA of Amazon, Apple, Facebook, and Google)

Jerry Wise Relationship Systems on YouTube)

In this episode you will learn:

  • Why trying to understand your child's bad behavior is the foundation for effectively changing it
  • How making happiness the goal of childhood creates anxious adults unable to handle uncomfortable emotions
  • The power of "connect before you correct" in creating resilient children who can regulate their emotions
  • Why parents unconsciously wish their children will heal their wounds but discover children actually trigger unresolved issues
  • How fatherhood shifts priorities from status-seeking to finding purpose beyond yourself
  • Why breaking your family's emotional "trance" is essential to becoming a healthy adult and parent
  • The three phrases every parent needs when their child experiences disappointment
  • How to recognize if you had narcissistic parents and the patterns you might be unconsciously repeating

For more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1772)

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More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:

Dr. Becky Kennedy – greatness.lnk.to/1586SC)

Scott Galloway  – greatness.lnk.to/1636SC)

Jerry Wise – greatness.lnk.to/1747SC)

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