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cover of episode The #1 Method To Defuse Any Argument & Have Hard Conversations That Will Change Your Life w/ Trial Lawyer Jefferson Fisher

The #1 Method To Defuse Any Argument & Have Hard Conversations That Will Change Your Life w/ Trial Lawyer Jefferson Fisher

2025/2/24
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The School of Greatness

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Lewis Howes
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Jefferson Fisher: 我在书中分享了一个有效的沟通公式,包括控制、自信和连接三个要素。掌握这三个要素,就能有效处理艰难对话,因为沟通不是一次性的,而是持续的。每一次对话都是通往更好沟通的阶梯。 在沟通中,我们看到的并非我们真正对话的对象,要关注对方内心的感受和需求。每个人都有表面的和深层的自我,要尝试理解对方深层的想法和感受,才能促进沟通和成长。 与情绪激动的人沟通时,有效的三个问题是:"听起来你这么说是因为有原因的"、"告诉我更多"和"你还好吗"。这些问题能帮助对方表达情绪,并建立连接。 处理棘手对话的有效方法是设定框架,包括说明谈话主题、预期感受以及获得对方的认同。设定框架能使对话更有方向性,避免偏离主题。 在争论中获胜意味着失去联系、可信度和信任。真诚的道歉包括:道歉、承认对方感受以及说明未来改进措施。避免使用"但是"等词语,以免抵消道歉的效果。 面对不真诚的道歉,应该直接指出其问题所在。如果对方总是扮演受害者,试图让你为他们没有做的事情道歉,应该逐渐疏远他们。 即使是沟通专家,也会在控制情绪和结果方面遇到挑战。在争论中,承认自己正在变得防御性,有助于控制情绪。 任何成功关系的基础都是明确的协议,而非假设。明确的协议能减少冲突,增进和谐。 在争论中哭泣无需道歉,可以尝试对哭泣进行描述和解释。帮助悲伤的人,最好的方式是直接行动,而不是简单地问"你需要什么"。 Lewis Howes: 我认同有效的沟通和人际关系建立在清晰的协议之上,而非基于假设。 在亲密关系中,清晰的沟通和界限至关重要。 处理悲伤情绪,直接提供帮助比空泛的安慰更有效。

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In a world where heated arguments and misunderstandings ruin our relationships, trial lawyer and communication expert Jefferson Fisher returns to the School of Greatness to reveal the art of meaningful conversation. Sharing insights from his new book "The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More," Fisher unpacks his powerful three-part framework for transformative communication: control, confidence, and connection. Through vulnerable personal examples, including his own struggles with defensive reactions, he illustrates how mastering these elements can heal relationships and prevent unnecessary conflicts. This episode offers game-changing strategies for anyone looking to enhance their personal and professional relationships, particularly those who find themselves caught in recurring arguments or struggling to have difficult conversations.

Jefferson’s new book The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More)

In this episode you will learn:

  • Why winning an argument actually means losing connection, credibility, and trust
  • The three-step formula for delivering a genuine apology that truly heals relationships
  • How to use "frames" to transform difficult conversations into productive dialogues
  • The power of saying "Tell me more" and why it's transformative in emotional conversations
  • Why clear agreements, not assumptions, are the foundation of successful relationships

For more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1737)

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More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:

Erwin McManus – greatness.lnk.to/1731SC)

Vanessa Van Edwards  – greatness.lnk.to/1231SC)

Mel Robbins – greatness.lnk.to/1710SC)

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