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cover of episode E897 Ask Nick - Am I A Nag?

E897 Ask Nick - Am I A Nag?

2025/3/10
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The Viall Files

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Casey: 我和男友交往五年,他只在周末发生性关系,并且缺乏亲密行为,例如接吻、拥抱等。此外,他对未来组建家庭没有兴趣,而这是我渴望的。虽然我们最近因为争吵而分手,但我们仍然住在一起。我计划搬回老家,这让我更加纠结于是否做出了正确的决定。 我意识到,如果我们的性生活和亲密关系更好,我或许会愿意在其他方面妥协。但是,现状让我感到不满,尤其是看到我兄弟姐妹的家庭生活后,我更加渴望拥有自己的家庭。 男友曾对我进行言语攻击,说我年轻幼稚,缺乏经验,这让我对未来感到担忧。他似乎更喜欢能够塑造和改变以适应他生活方式的伴侣,而不是改变自己。 我尝试过与他沟通,但他总是很防御,不愿意承认自己的问题。他认为我应该更多地表达需求,但不断地提醒他却让我感到疲惫和不真诚。 我曾尝试过一些方法来提升性生活,例如发送性感照片或穿性感内衣,但效果不佳。他去过心理咨询,但只去了一次就停止了。虽然我们现在处于分手的状态,但我们仍然住在一起,并且仍然保持着亲密行为。 我纠结于是否做出了正确的决定,以及是否应该继续与他保持亲密关系。我担心如果我搬走,他不会真正意识到失去我。 Nick Viall: Casey,你描述的伴侣似乎固执己见,不愿意反思自己在过去感情中的角色。他将责任推卸给前任,将自己塑造成受害者,而不是尝试理解问题根源并做出改变。 他对你提出的要求缺乏回应,并且在沟通中表现出防御性,甚至言语攻击。这表明他缺乏成熟度和同理心,不愿意为这段关系付出努力。 你渴望拥有家庭,而他对此没有兴趣,这是你们之间不可调和的矛盾。虽然性生活和亲密关系也是重要因素,但更重要的是你们对未来人生规划的差异。 你已经多次尝试挽回这段关系,但始终没有得到积极的回应。这表明他并不珍惜你,也不愿意为这段关系做出改变。 继续与他保持亲密关系只会让你更加纠结和痛苦。你应该果断地结束这段关系,专注于自己的未来,寻找一个真正爱你、尊重你、愿意与你共同创造未来的人。 不要因为对他的同情或对过去投入的感情而犹豫不决。你值得拥有更好的生活,拥有一个真正爱你、珍惜你的人。

Deep Dive

Chapters
A caller seeks advice on whether to break up with her boyfriend due to intimacy issues and conflicting future goals.
  • The caller's boyfriend only wants to have sex on weekends.
  • They have conflicting views on having children, with the boyfriend being disinterested.
  • The caller feels unfulfilled in terms of intimacy and emotional connection.
  • The boyfriend exhibits controlling behavior, preferring to mold partners to fit his lifestyle.
  • The caller struggles with the decision to leave due to shared history and moments of happiness.
  • The boyfriend's past experiences of being cheated on influence his behavior.
  • The caller is advised to prioritize her desire to have children and reflect on her needs.
  • A breakup is suggested as the boyfriend is unlikely to change.

Shownotes Transcript

Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition!  Our first caller is wondering if she should break up with her boyfriend who only wants to have sex on weekends. Our second caller is a lifelong vegetarian and is debating giving that up for a man. And, our third callers are a couple who don’t want to hang out with their friend anymore.  “I wouldn’t start with a porterhouse steak…" Listen to Humble Brag with Cynthia Bailey and Crystal Kung Minkoff every Monday starting October 21st! Available wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@humblebragpodhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/humble-brag-with-crystal-and-cynthia/id1774286896) https://open.spotify.com/show/4NWA8LBk15l2u5tNQqDcOO?si=c03a23d537f94735)

Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/)  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [email protected]) to be a part of our Monday episodes.  To Order Nick’s Book Go To: https://www.viallfiles.com)  If you would like to get some texting advice, send an email to [email protected]) with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line!  To advertise on this podcast please email: [email protected] or go to: https://advertising.libsyn.com/theviallfiles)  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: BetterHelp - Build your support system, with BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/VIALL) today to get 10% off your first month. Hero Bread - Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to https://hero.co) and use code VIALL at checkout. Helix Sleep - For their March Madness sale, Helix is exclusively offering our listeners the best offer available! Better than what you’ll find on their website! Go to https://helixsleep.com/viall) Helix is offering 25% off sitewide. Fabric - Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to help protect their family. Start investing in your child today at https://meetfabric.com/viall)    Timestamps: (00:00) - Intro (00:13) - Caller One (48:36) - Caller Two (01:21:18) - Caller Three   Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @justinkaphillips @dereklanerussell