Ep 120: Edging Towards Incontinence
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The male human body can't go seven hours without jerking off. Show me a shit that doesn't stink. Oh, you just put your hand in and go like, those are eyeballs. What would you liken the feeling to immediately after? Are you getting like a dose of euphoria? Buckle up. Did we get it? We're back. We're back. We're back.

Whopper Whopper Chicken Nugget. Here we go, baby. Whopper Whopper. Hit it. Go. E-K-N-O-G.

First of all, I would like to thank our fans for loving the last episode as much as they did. I got a lot of sweet, sweet feedback. It was a best of luggage talk. Oh, yeah. And I feel like the fans came out clamoring. They came out hot, loving the luggage talk, baby. Yeah.

So get ready for more sweet, sweet luggage talk in the future, and we're excited to give it to you. Did they? Did they, though? What? Did they? They loved it? They loved it more than this right here. I don't know. The people that were in my DMs actually...

Surprising. I was like, wow. Because I got like maybe 10 and 15 people in a row that were like, dude, luggage talk. Love it. Hilarious luggage talk. Fuck yeah. Luggage talk. Squirt, squirt. Luggage talk. Boy, you got squirts. And then I was like, my God. This went over way better than I thought it was going to. And then I looked at Twitter. And Twitter was where you go to be mean and nasty. I feel the DMs are where you reach out to be kind of pleasant. And Twitter people were pretty pleasant.

Pretty butthurt about it. Yeah. Are people still tweeting? We'll get to that. We'll get to that. Apparently. That's a great question, Anders. Like, what's happening on Twitter? Yeah. Anders, apparently, yeah. I know, but I mean, like, by and large. Like, are you guys tweeting? We're talking by and large? Absolutely not. I haven't put a tweet out there. I've never tweeted. I haven't put a tweet out there in probably five years.

By and large, have you? Six years. By and large, six years. Yeah. Yeah, are we talking by and large or... And by and large. I guess I just... When I go on there and I see people still tweeting, I'm like, what is happening? It's like you graduated high school and you go back and everyone's still there. You're like, why aren't you on TikTok? I'm not on TikTok, but... You should be on YouTube stories. What are you doing? Exactly. YouTube stories are...

What a fail. But exactly. They're still on Twitter. That's the thing. The whole point of the internet is to fucking turn and burn, man. What are you still doing on Twitter? It's a bagel. And what are you saying? You idiot. If you've been on for, let's say, 10 years, what are you still saying? Honestly. Because if you've been on Twitter for 10 years and you're still tweeting. 14. You've got to be super fucking annoying. Right. Who cares? Who cares?

Right. In a major way, you kind of have to be because it's like, what is your ritual where you have to put this thing out there? And how often are you fucking tweeting? Well, it's like, do you ever shut up? Honestly, like, shut up. I don't even go there because I don't want to read it. Well, yeah, for sure. For sure. People that tweet too much. Definitely. You look at them and say, do you ever shut up? Right. Because they don't.

Shut up, bitch. Yeah, thank you. But I will say that it is still the best place to go to see what's happening right now, like in pop culture. Because I'm not that plugged in with pop culture stuff. So it's really easy just to go. For what? You mean news?

Yeah, just like a thing that happened or like a viral trending thing. Isn't Hood Clips going to post something about it? Hood Clips is on Twitter though. Hood Clips. Yeah, but like weeks later. I do remember the last time. Like days and days later. Twitter has their finger on the pulse, I would say. I remember last time I used it was Fires. But like what's an example? Fires. Fires. Okay. Fires. Fires.

Adam, what's an example where you're like, I gotta get on Twitter. Like legit. I'll give you one joke and then I want to hear her legit. I'll tell you right now. Sports. I'll tell you right now. Sports. Instant sports. You can watch along. Something that is still live. Like fires. For things that are still live. House of Highlights. House of Highlights is posting highlights in game. Yeah, but you can't really scroll through what people are thinking unless you're going to read the comments on House of Highlights on Instagram. That's a trash conversation.

graveyard you don't want to see that one girl who posts the first comment every time there's there's always that one guy I forget his name but he comments on everything he goes blank is the goat for sure oh

Who cares? Lethal shooter. It's not him. Do you know who I'm talking about? Blank is Da Goat, no cap. That's what he says every time. Yay, he's talking about Kanye. Stephanie. With the big booty basketball girl? Yeah, basketball girl. Stephanie. I'm not talking about Kanye.

That was the guy, though. He would say, yay is the goat, no cap. Like, he'd be the first one on all his posts. This is deep internet fucking dorkdom right here. Is it? I feel like we think it is, and then you can ask a zillion people that know. Yeah, but he's still, that guy's still going. Yeah, well, you can't give up. What the fuck are you guys talking about? You're just talking about somebody who's still tweeting? What are you talking about right now? Kyle quit when Elon Musk bought Twitter. Kyle was out. Oh, fuck Tesla. Okay. Okay. Whoa.

Yeah, I'm over it. Why would you ever say that? They're fine, but I'm just like, I'm over the robots. Yeah, you turned your back on Tesla. Why did you turn your back on Tesla? I was thinking about getting one. I'm not turning my back on it. I'm just kind of over it because my Y has been taking a shit. I've had an X, a three, and a Y. I've had three of them.

Okay. Dang. Okay. Money bags. Get them. God damn, bro. God damn. I've had experiences. Stick with the winner. I've had experiences with them and it was great at first and now you cannot talk to a human. You cannot. Wait. What? Oh, yeah, yeah. Customer service wise. Yeah. You're saying customer service is bad for Tesla. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's awful.

and this is going to make me sound old, but, and are a millennial who wants the old ways, but like, I really do want to talk to a human when it comes to my car. I want a human voice on the other end. And preferably English speaking human if we're going to get into it. All right. I mean, whatever. I just, it's so confusing. Like my car has died two times. The front motor has gone out on the road and then it's basically just like a fucking. Oh my God.

What's the second best language acceptable to you? That I would be able to understand is probably French or Spanish, I think. Oh, yeah. I do. You speak such fluent, beautiful French. I would love to hear you have a conversation with us. It is crazy how often French people are problem-solving my technical stuff. They're like, bonjour, and I'm like, oh, this is crazy.

This person's not going to understand me. Right. Is that right? I feel like I've never talked to a French person ever. In your whole life? I'm joking. Yeah, what's up? And I've been to France. You've been to France? You just what? Are you being sarcastic, Durs? Yeah, but obviously. But like, I do like that you're like, I've been to France and I've never. Yeah, I was joking. We're back. I refuse to talk to French. Okay.

We're back. But okay. So, so look at this. You guys are chunking so hard. This, this podcast sucks. You are chunking pretty hard over there. It's always sucked. This one's par for the course. Yeah. This one's a little tough to time right now. It's going to be tough for Todd to time this one, but.

The clap in was off. Right. Right. The clap in. So wait, you had a Tesla problem. So did we, by the way. Really? X. X crapped out. Needed a whole new battery. What was your problem? Mine? So the front motor went out on multiple occasions, which that means that when you hit the brake, it goes like...

Gary. Yo, how many miles you got on this? I don't know. It's a lease. I think I have like, it's only 17,000 miles, dude. I got it mile zero. Oh, lemon law. Lemon law. That's damn dude. Yeah. Well, I lease it. So it doesn't matter. You'll get all your lease money back. Oh, hello. Talk to me about this. What are you talking about? I did it when I had, I got the first,

- First like-- - Fucking thing sucks! - I got nothing bad to say about Volvo, terrific machines. - Well, okay. - But I got like their first electric hybrid that they had with the XC90, like way back in the day, 2016 maybe.

And it just, the motor and the engine weren't talking to each other in the right way. And I had to go in the shop multiple times. And if you just have that information and you submit for a lemon law here in California, and you're under, I think, 30 or 35,000 miles, you get every penny back. Dude, so that's what this is. This is in the lemon law.

I can get all this back. What's the lemon law? That's if you, you walk off with a shit car, it's called a lemon. Blake doesn't understand. Uh, they call cars that don't work that are brand new. A lemon. Yeah. Yeah. I'm aware of that. I am aware of that, but I was unaware that there's a law where if you get a bad car, they fully reimburse you. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I did it. How come we don't do that with more, more stuff? Uh, uh,

Yeah, like a printer? Yeah, I don't know. Run for governor or something. Okay. Yeah, Blake for governor, dude. I'd vote for you. I want a Lemon Law for everything. You've stood on that platform. Now, Kyle, I have a question about why your engines keep crapping out. Like, are you curing beef jerky on the engine? Or, like, what are you doing to these cars? The opposite. He's stuffing leaf. Are you watching tons of porno on the... Yeah, are you, like, watching... Are you...

fully pornogging it on your are you hitting the auto drive and just auto the auto drive the auto drive allows for some selective viewing if you want to you say force them now you said was the was the sound the engine made something like this is that what you said

Because if the engine is making torque noises, that might be something else. Yeah, no. Kyle, do you... Real talk, have you watched porno? And Durs, too. Have you watched porno while it's self-driving? Yeah. Just like kind of kicked back? And don't lie. You're under oath. You want me to... Why do we have to real talk this? What is this? You're under oath. I can answer this two different ways. Yeah, real talk. I don't want any fake talk. I don't want any of this hee-hee ha-has. Let's get real. I've never watched porno...

on my car. No, but... Where? Right. Has porno been on in my car? Okay, so... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I can't control... Kyle's on the spot here. Sure, yeah. Yes. Kyle, on the main screen. And where did you... No, not on the main screen, but you can... So on the main screen, you're cruising along. Yeah, you're on, what, the 5 freeway? You're cruising along. Did you then... Now, you're just... I get it, because you take those long drives from up north...

down back to LA. And it's like a, what, a six hour drive, an eight hour drive. What is it? You're going right past Harris ranch. Six hours. It's a, it's a, in a, in a Tesla, it's like seven. Cause you got to charge and you got to stop and charge a motherfucker. You can't make it all the way up there. No. Okay. So it's like seven hours. And we all know the human, the male human body can't go seven hours without jerking off. So you, Adam, to answer your question, just, you had to, you had to, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, bro. Yeah, man.

I love it, dude. I don't have to stop, dude, but it's like the thing's auto-driving, dude. And you're wondering why your car is going haywire, but you're out here going to YouPorn, Pornhub. Yeah, there's jizz in the circuit boards. No, you guys, you're tripping. It's not on the main screen. It's harder than you think to put something on the main screen. Oh, is it now? Because Tesla's got deals, proprietary deals with everything and stuff. Right. What's that? Wait, what do you mean? Model X hamster over.

over there. Right, it's Rancho Fucko. Rancho Fucko. There's parental controls or something that makes it so you can't access porno on your Tesla screen? Is that what you're saying? That's a lemon law for me. I don't surf the net on it. You can go use their theater mode to get into like your Hulu or your

or your whatever, your fucking Netflix and shit, but that's about it. I promise Elon Musk is not limiting what you can watch on your Tesla. So what do you do on this computer besides look at porno most days? Yeah. Maps? The computer. Yeah, I guess the maps are helpful. What are you looking at, maps? You fucking dork. Yeah, maps. You're doing everything. It's a Tesla. It's a fucking Bose speaker with wheels. You know what I mean? It's like...

It's doing everything. I guess. Well, a Bose speaker is just a speaker. A Bose speaker? Kyle thought he was dropping some shit right there. He's like, it's like a Bose speaker on wheels. Are you feeling me? Don't care. It's a computer. Bro, that's just a speaker. You're like, whoa, so it's just a speaker then? Yeah, it's a good sound system.

You know what I mean? You can't touch anything. There's nothing in it. It's just like, you're just, it's the computer. What? What do you mean by it's a Bose speaker on wheels? This is what's so scary. This is why I'm not into it. Like I said, five years. See, this is why I wanted to dig into this, because I knew there was gold here. Yeah, there is. Because, dude, when you're in a Tesla, which is essentially- So why was it a Bose speaker? When you're in a Tesla, and essentially it is-

An iPhone, a speaker, a piece of fucking tech that you get. A speaker and an iPhone are two very different things. A speaker and an iPhone, yeah, iPhones have so many functions. Speaker does one thing. Do you know when your phone is on the fritz? Adam, you know this. You have a tech ghost. Pizza, pizza.

Adam, he's getting personal now. Yeah. Adam, you know this. You have a tech ghost. Hey, dude, I'm telling you. So when the tech ghost comes into your Tesla. I do have a tech ghost. Yeah, it haunted me last night. It really did. Okay. And what did you hold up for the record? That's why I'm scared to get a Tesla. That's why. My phone, my shitty phone that's on the fridge that like just spazzes out on me. Like today, it just didn't work. Right. I don't know.

Like, I was trying to find maps to get home. Yeah. And it just didn't work. And I had to use my brain. Whoa, that's not good. Oh, man. That's not good. Would you look at that? I've lived in L.A. for 20 years, and I was, like, down...

I was fairly close and I was like, oh fuck, my maps don't work. Right. And I had to get back home and it probably took me an extra like six minutes cause I just took a fucking straight up loop-de-doo route. Six minutes? And of course there was construction on the, on the road. Of course. And I was like, this, this fucking sucks, man. I need my maps, baby. I'm so sorry, dude. I'm so sorry, dude. Well, that's what, that's what I'm saying. But yeah, no, I, I fully have a Ted ghost. That's why I don't want, uh,

a Tesla. I'm afraid to get it. Chloe was like, I think we should get a Tesla or, uh, or something for the next car, like an electronic car. And I, I'm like legit frightened that I would get it and it would explode. Hey, you know, you tell her, you tell her, you go, Chloe, we can't do it. It's basically a Bose speaker. Okay.

I promise you she'll go got it. I'm sorry. I even brought it up. She'll completely understand. Yeah, I get that. And is there anything to touch? I've heard that. No, apparently not. Dude, it's like a it's like a beats pill with an engine. All right. That's basically what it is. It's a beats by Dre. I guess I keep hearing that. When I go on Twitter. Well, the thing is, when it starts to die, when you're out there and it and it fails.

It's like, it might as well be a pair of headphones. Oh, yeah. It might as well be. Over the ear. Headphones. Turn the Bluetooth off and on. You have to like, you hard reset your fucking car. You're like out there hard resetting this thing. And I'm like, no. And it has auto drive. Control. And so you're like, well, what happens? What the fuck is going on here? What if your fucking engine block breaks? What if your carburetor pops or your.

See ya. Well, you can't even get it towed. I can't even choose who tows it. Yeah, and then all of a sudden, like, all the weird videos you downloaded from LimeWire start to pop up on the screen. Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. I Heart Deep Throat is popping up. Right. I don't want people seeing that. Yeah, all the stains in the car. Right. Come on. The guys out there to help you fix your car. Yeah. Morpheus downloads. Well, Kyle, you were bringing up an interesting thing.

Is there a triple A for specifically Teslas? Or do they send out the same dude who's, you know? This part of the company, it's up to you. It's good. It's just like a geek squad guy rolls up in his Tesla? Let me take a look at this. You can't choose who is towing you, right? You know what I mean? What? What?

Yeah, sure. Like you can't just hit the app. I mean, this part is kind of dope, but this is the part that's a catch 22. You hit the app. You say, I have problems. And then what happened to me recently is they're like, we're going to just leave your car, leave your car.

And then you get a ride wherever you're at and you just leave your fucking car and we'll come pick it up when we have time. Adam's already like water trash. What is wrong with that? You just leave it with the keys? What don't you? No, they can hack it. It was weird when I was out and I was going to dinner up in Calistoga and it was like all of a sudden I have, there was no cabs. There was no, I had to leave this thing on the side of the road and it was in the middle of nowhere at like 11 o'clock. I'm in the middle of nowhere.

And then you just hitchhiked to... To the nearest Arby's. Wait, but what's the difference? Whopper... I'm sorry. We got a ride. We did. We found a ride. Okay, look. You've got Whopper, Whopper, Junior, Whopper, Double Whopper. Wait, but... Right, right. So if you're in...

A regular ice combustion engine car, and it breaks down. What's the difference? You can call any tow truck to come pick you up. You can call the nearest tow truck to come get you. Right. Right? You can't do that. Yeah, you could do anything with your phone. You can't get a Tesla towed?

No. No, you have to. They have to send their... Because you can't unlock the wheels. You can't just grab the car. You have to go in and program it. I'll grab it, all right. The wheels lock. What are we watching on the screen? I'll grab it. It's a fucking computer. It's turned off.

Yeah, but can't you put it into neutral or something? Yeah, you put it in a neutral. Sure. So that's kind of annoying that you can't just get it towed to where you want it to be. Yeah, that's weird. You have to wait for Tesla to get out there. So really, you better not be driving somewhere super remote because... This is where I ran into like the...

But if I may, Adam, if I may. You may. Hey, Ders, you may. Thank you. At least you know it's going to a Tesla-certified place as opposed to those classic 90s movies where they're like, well, I looked at it and it looks like it's going to be here for about a week and a half and it's going to cost you about $2,300. No, you're right. You're right. That's a good point. Unless that pretty little wire for yours over there. They're like, what? What is happening? Honey, run. Run.

And I still, yeah, it is. You're right, because that's the other side. That's the other side of it. Every 90s movie. Can't believe these guys are Highway Robbery. Yeah. Unless that tall drink of water. Honey, what do you think? I'm not leaving you here. Honey, what do you think? I know what I think, but what do you think? You got a birdie mouth. You can walk a couple miles up the road. They'll help you out. I'm not leaving you here. It's fine.

I'm going to be fine. It's fine. He seems like a nice guy. Meanwhile, he's just cranking down in the corner. No, he seems great. What do you mean? Cleaning the oil off the hands, like looking at his hands like, yeah, it's going to be about $2,300 unless you leave that pretty little wife of yours wants to stay here with the girl.

Honey, I'm not leaving you. What? No, he seems great. Meanwhile, he's just twisting his nipple. Right. Yeah. He's just trying to twist the head off his dong. I would love to watch everyone's audition for that role.

Yeah, who could be the creepiest? I don't know. I feel like Ders has a... He could pull off a good creep. Look at him. Look at her. The mustache helps right now. With that mustache, I feel you got a little... Yeah, that helps. Ders is good because he can turn off his eyes. Kyle, I feel like, he's central casting choice, first choice. I feel Kyle's first choice as far as central casting goes. No.

But I think Blake would also have a pretty fun take on the character. Thank you. Well, you had me at the twist in the nipples. I don't think I can turn off my eyes like Ders. Like go dead in the eyes? Right. Well, one of them will. Yeah, look at him. His eyes can go dead. Look at that dude. It's like Undertaker.

Right.

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Hey, guys. We here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese. It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. Yeah, it truly makes everything creamier. And, of course, it can be used in so much more than our classic bagel and cream cheese. You can use it in a variety of recipes, occasions, and even as a perfect snack. For example, you can dip vegetables

veggies or crackers in it to snack on. Enhance your guacamole with it. Make a creamy pasta alfredo or even buffalo chicken dip. The recipes are endless. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it, baby. Mac and cheese, ramen, frosting, tzatziki. Now you can make it so much creamier. With so many unique recipes, how could you go wrong?

And yes, you can find a ton of recipes on the Philadelphia website. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home. Remember how the Fairley brothers always had like that, like, they almost had their own like players, their own little stable of actors that they put in every movie. And there's one guy who'd be like...

Who was that fucking guy? That dude was into everything. He was so good. But he played like this. I think he played this mechanic role. I don't know if I know who you're talking about. I know that they do have a stable. I don't know. But yeah, I liked how...

I feel like a lot of old, like, 90s comedy guys did that. Like, Sandler does that, where the same guys are in a lot of his movies. Shout out to your boy. And the Fairley brothers did that. Yeah. It's the same ensemble. Yeah, we were going to do that with Wayman, but...

Remember our boy who we were going to put in? We were going to do that with the Workaholics movie. Yeah, tried, failed. I found out that the dad from Kindergarten Cop was from like Mobile when I was filming there. They were like, you know, nobody ever came out of Mobile except for that guy. And I was like, yeah, crisp. I was like, yo, that's the best dude to ever come out. And he's in the Farrelly Brothers. The dad from Kindergarten, like the... Dominic, I'm your father guy. Oh, that guy's the best.

I know, and he's from Mobile. We've talked about him. He's basically TK. Thomas Kellogg? Yeah, he's Thomas Kellogg. He's there, Thomas Kellogg. But he was in big movies. But he was in a bunch of Farrelly Brothers movies. He was one of their players. Got a little thing about him.

Yeah. I love that. And Three O'Clock High, legendary movie if you've never seen Three O'Clock High. I have not seen that. Is that a John Cusack? Cusack. No, but it's an 80s movie. John Cusack. John Cusack? Cusack. Cusack movie. I'm a Cusack. Cusack? Cusack.

Yeah, it's about like a kid who like bumps into the bully and the bully's like, I'm going to kick the shit out of you at three o'clock. So then he's got the entire school day to like get out of it. And then they redid that movie with Charlie Day and Ice Cube. Absolutely. Trash. A ridiculously stupid movie. Didn't they try to redo that movie for like

Oh, it was called Fist Fight. Yeah. They made that movie called Fist Fight. Fist Fight, yeah. I feel like that one didn't work quite as well as they wanted it to. Better title, Three O'Clock High. I mean, it's better. I don't know. Well, yeah. I guess it's a play on high noon. Right. I know what Fist Fight's about to be. I'm not sure I know what Three O'Clock High is. That's why it's better. Well, it's based on high noon, Three O'Clock High. Well, that's why it's better, Blake. No. That's right. You're one of those guys. I need my movies to be called Plane.

P-L-A-N-E. Saw it. I saw it with Rajman the other day. Ooh. What did you see? Plane? Plane. What is this movie? Explain to me what this is. What do you think it is, bitch? Well, okay, bitch. Talk to me, bitch. What is it? It's a plane goes down in the Philippines and then they got to survive. These like gorilla dudes are coming after them. And it's called Plane? Oh, that's not what I thought it was about. Just kidding. I don't like you anymore.

We're breaking up. It's done. It's over. I'm not saying you're breaking up. I'm saying we're breaking up. Yeah. Should we tell them? It's Gerard Butler. It's basically Gerard Butler doing one of his like... Is this thing on? ...streaming movies or whatever. But this one went to theaters and I went with a bunch of comedy writers, which you guys know is not my thing to do to go to a

movie and shit all over it live. Right, that's going to be loud. Continuously the entire time while everyone else is trying to watch it for real. Yeah, they're like, I actually really like Gerard Butler. I actually think Gerard Butler has kind of a cool career. I like that he's just like, you know what? Fuck it. I like acting. I like being on set. I like making movies. They're not putting me in A-list big movies, but they are putting me in these big action movies.

I'm like, it's fun. I wish more people. Did you say big? Yeah, right. Well, big. But like he did a lot of. He's 300. He was in big action movies, wasn't he? Like Law Abiding Citizen, I think is one. He's 300. And he did Olypus Falling Down and whatever the other Falling Down was. And he's built a career off of it. Look, there's no doubt. Homie has a career. So, yes, those are the movies. Those are the movies that kind of. . .

took him into that world of like essentially just financing a movie and then just getting like yeah and Liam Liam what's his name Gallagher the older guy Gallagher he's kind of doing the same thing now where you're just like it's another that's because he told everybody that he wanted to fight black dudes in his dreams and they were like you can go that way wait he said that you can go that way and make those movies and he was like okay what did he say

Yeah, he had some controversial things he said for sure. Look, I'm getting this wrong for sure. Well, you shouldn't allow every old man – you shouldn't give every old man a microphone and let him just go off. Allegedly. Because they're going to say some wild shit. He was being interviewed and said something about like somebody in his family was like attacked by somebody who happened to be black.

And he was so angry by it that he went out walking and he was like, he's like, I mean, I don't know what would have happened if I ran into somebody black. I think I would have like beat them up or tried to kill them. And they were like, what? He's like, I didn't. And they were talking about-

racism and whatever. And they were like, sir, you're on the comic-con red carpet. They're like too late. You're live at comic-con. Right. Yeah. Oh shit. How old is that? I'm just promoting the wolf movie. I'm Josh from MTV. This is a very, yeah, right. This is angry, sad, confused. We're just doing a fun bit. I was angry and I was sad.

So yeah, after that, they were pretty much like, so the movies you're going to make are over this way. Right. And by the way, he still makes a grip because nobody in like a ton of countries gives a shit about what he said. And he's still making money.

Yeah. Well, what an absolute insane thing to say. But I hope you just was saying it out of context. But he was just saying like how it affected him that he was like, I can see how these things happen. They got it. It didn't happen to me. How old is that dude? How old is Liam Neeson? Let's check.

He's got to be 75, 77. Maybe say that to your therapist or something. Not Josh from MTV. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, you got to say that to someone else. Right. It looks like he was born in 70. No, that's his early life. 70. 63. 69. No. He was born in 63? I think he's older than that, right? He's older than that.

52. 52. There we go. Sorry. 52. There we go. We got there. He's age 70. Whoa. So he is 70. Okay. He's an old dude. Wow. He's age 70. Dude, that was tripping me out. You know what? I feel like when we're 70, though, we're not that far off from 70. Ders is almost 70. I feel we're going to. It's going to be there quicker than we think. And then we're not going to feel old. No. We're going to be like, but we're still cool and young.

Yes, sir. Blake will just be carrying a skateboard. I already feel old. You're talking about your groin exploding. What are you talking about? Well, my body will shut down, but mentally I'm still going to be a dumb, dumb idiot. Yeah, but I can't wait for Blake to have that hair gray. I'm still going to be just doing chucks and gigs up here. Oh, Adam. Wait, that reminds me, dude. I saw that that footage of you getting your fucking like back cracked and shit.

And I really want to know what that process was. Where? Is this on Twitter? Oh, yeah. I posted it on Insta. It was hot Twitter, dude. It was trending. You didn't see that? I didn't see this. Was this Twitter? Did you post this on Instagram? Yes, it was on your... I didn't. I did not. Someone did. How the hell did I see it? The chiropractor did. Oh, okay. The chiropractor did, and then it became like a viral thing. Mm-hmm.

Oh, I forgot. Blake wakes up, Googles you, then does stuff. Right. He's got the Google. Yeah. He looks at, he looks up my name. Now I can shit. Well, the bummer was I like, I also like was in so much pain that day. Cause I'm still in a lot of pain from my groin and back. Let me get in there. And, uh, I was going to this chiropractor in Charleston. It was really, uh, he was doing great work. And so I,

saw this guy online and hit him up and he was like, he was in Newport Beach. And so he's like, come on down. And I came on down and he did the craziest shit. He put my neck in like a strap. Yeah. And then like elongated me. And I honestly, I felt taller. Right. It was crazy. Yeah. He did all kinds of, I still was in a lot of pain afterwards. So it didn't really help in the same way that... More pain. It was actually...

In a weird way, in more pain? I was in a ton of more pain. It's so much more, actually. Newer. You're a fucking disaster, my guy. No, I mean, it just didn't work in the way I really wanted it to. You thought it was going to be a magic bullet? What do you think it was going to be, an off switch? Did you think it was going to be an off switch? Where it's like, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack? God, I'm looking for the off switch, man. This pain is like, it's...

It's a year. I'm a year in to like not being able to do shit. Like I got to send you to my guy, please.

Adam, I had to get an MRI this week on my back because I got major fucking shit happening. Now they're like, you've got to go talk to a surgeon. And I'm like, oh my God, really? Hey, what happened? Because of pickleball? On your back? Why? Because of pickleball? It's not because of pickleball. There's like potato chips. This dude, I've been going like the last two weeks. It's gotta be the potato chips. It actually is because this dude's like, you have like, you have,

so i'm numb and like you have a ruffle i have like a growth on my fucking back a frito i have a growth on my fucking spine dude no yeah well that's not good from ruffles i don't know what the fuck it is i just found out today okay wait what are those things chili cheese fritos oh jesus oh that's scary dude i'm sorry yeah like a bone spur is that what they're called no he said it's like a fatty tissue it's like some so it is the chips it's the fatty tissue bro oh my god you got a fucking crunchy cheeto on your

They congealed in one spot. Yeah, I don't know enough about it, but dude said you might want to talk about the surgery because where this is pressing, if it grows, like he's like, first of all, he said there's nothing to worry about except if it does grow, when you get older, you might be incontinent. What is incontinent? Like you got to shit through a bag? Like you shit your pants and stuff. Like you can't control...

You're fucking shit, bro. Isn't that normal? Well, that's hella funny. Look at one side of it. Which I see out of any of us, I see that mostly for you, Kyle. So I think that would be the coolest for you out of the four of us. Wait, is it pee or poo or just poo? I think it's just poo. I think you can still hold your pee. They're different tracks, bro. We're back!

They're different tracks. Wow. Those are different. Those are, those are different pipes. Well, yeah. Then take, then take care of that for sure, dude. That's, that's scary. I know I was tripping. I was, I'm getting another MRI today too, on my back to try and figure it out. The bummer about my groin is I, he was like, dude, uh, he was like, yo bro, I don't know. Dr. Brozark here. Uh,

he says it's a... I keep forgetting the name of it, but it's basically like the meniscus of your hip joint is torn. My hipness. Basically, he was like, you're a bitch, bro, because he's like, a lot of times this is torn and people don't feel it. And he's like, you're experiencing a lot of pain and I don't understand why this is hurting you this bad. Sensative. And so we're going to do some injections. I know. He was like, basically, you're a bitch. But he was like,

Essentially, he was like, I wish this were a hernia because then I would know exactly how to treat it. I don't know how to treat this. He's like, I've never seen this shit in my life. So now I have to go to another specialist too. Fuck. Oh my God. Someone that deals with some other shit. Fuck if I know. Meniscus. Yeah. I'm getting plugged in up here to like my general practitioner and all that stuff. And just like, I'm like, oh God, here we go. Plug your Tesla in, bitch. I'm going to find out.

Dude, as soon as you start to walk down the track, you're like, oh, everything's fucked up on me. Yeah, man, just don't go. Just throw away this body. But isn't it good? It made me feel good. I'm like, you know what? Fucking what is this shit in my back? Okay, but you know what? I'm young enough. I could do a surgery. It hasn't gotten crazy yet. This is the time to go in and fucking dig.

Right? Yeah. This is it. Dig deep. This is it. And then you get prepped for the next fucking, you know, 10 years of your life or however long it's going to be. I like Blake's angle of like, just don't go or just ride it out and if something hurts, just be like, just bury it. Don't let anybody know. Yeah, man. Well, that, by the way, was Isaac's

Yeah. ...to me when I was like, dude, I'm in so much pain in my groin. He's like, you'll probably be good. Have a margarita. And I'm like... It's science. I don't know, dude. I'm like, I'm in a lot of pain and I've been in pain for months and months now. And he's like, it'll probably just go away. And I'm like...

Maybe. Maybe not, though. It's been months and months and months and months. Drop him. Drop him. So he's fired. Dude, also, as soon as this guy said I got a fucking thing on my back, and he was like, you could be incontinent later on in life if you don't handle it. That's the poop pants. I'm like, is this why I've had fucking issues with my digestion? And he's like, yup. Your pickleball game? And I'm like, no fucking way, bro. This thing could possibly be that? Can you imagine how good a pickleball you'd be if you weren't shitting your pants all the time? Yeah.

So what do you mean your digestion? Because your poops are extra smelly? What's the deal? It's not smelly. It's just they're not as regular as I want them to be. They're not smelly? They're smelly. Your shit doesn't stink. Every shit stinks. Show me a shit that doesn't stink. We're back.

Okay, so yeah, what do you mean your digestion? I didn't know that you have problems with your digestion. Well, I've talked about it before. My fissures and my hemis. And what are hemis? My hemorrhoids, you know. Oh, sure. But this could all be walked back. Oh, I didn't know that those were digestion related. Yeah. They are. Oh, okay. I didn't either. I thought that's just when you had a big old turd. Either you have diarrhea or you don't. This has been a very intimate conversation. Kind of forgot we were podcasting here.

Sorry, I thought fissures and hemis were when you split your asshole open. When you were straining so hard that your asshole explodes. Yeah, that's what I thought that was. I asked him if this could be affecting anything going on in that region, and he's like, yeah, bro. Yeah. Good, bro. This shit is for sure growing. And then did he say, you're a fucking disaster, my guy. You also went to Dr. Brozark? I go to Dr. Brozark as well, dude. Yeah.

yes yes hey dude disaster my guy yeah bro okay kyle i forgot we were podcasting i hella forgot we were podcasting guys no let's just let's just get out of it you gotta remember brother you gotta you don't be the liam neeson you're just talking talking with your buddies about your bodily issue yeah let's get out of this don't be the liam neeson of the pod all right let's

So you're saying if you don't cut this Cheeto off your spine, you're going to start shitting your pants in how many years? I didn't get into that. I was just like. I need hard lines. How long can I ride it out? I'll let you know. I guess I got to follow this up now because we are podcasting. So I'll let you know. Fuck.

Damn, dude. That's crazy. Yeah. I mean, I'm afraid for you, dude. Thank you. Thank you. Scary stuff. He said it was nothing to worry about, though. But, you know. Thoughts and prayers. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, dude. Thoughts and prayers.

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Well, that's disappointing that that back cracking didn't fully heal you, Adam, because those are those, like, back crackers that you watch on Instagram where it literally looks like you die for a second because they crack your neck so fucking hard. I was, like, watching it through my fingers. It was...

Yeah. Terrifying. It was pretty fucking scary, especially when they're like breaking out like tools, like the strap around my neck. I'm like, this is how I die. Right. Yeah. And I was in so much pain that day. I was like, yeah. Those YouTube videos are perverted though. Perverted? It's, it, uh, yeah, I wish it worked. Maybe I need to go more.

more regularly, but I have a good physical therapist and I just need to keep at it, I think. Do the work. It sucks, but it is what it is. Just do the work. What would you liken the feeling to immediately after? Are you getting a dose of euphoria or is it like...

Or are you like... No, it's like you stepped in front of a truck and then someone pulled you back right before you were brutally killed. It was like, I'm dead, and then you didn't die, and you're like, oh. You don't know what that's like. Adam's the only one who does know what that's like. Damn. I don't know what that's like. Yeah, I just stood in front of it.

So it's just like you're getting yoinked. I wish that was what Adam always used as an example. What does it feel like? Well, it kind of feels like you almost got hit by a cement truck. In the Macy's Day Parade, there's a lot of nerves. It's almost like you're standing in front of a truck and your best friend pulls you out of the way just in the nick of time. Just in time. Wish I knew what that felt like. Okay, and back to you at the studio. Oh, shit.

Well, by the way, this is the year of parades for me. Yeah, because I'm doing the, I am the king of Bacchus, which is a huge parade in New Orleans. Yes. And I'm going to be the king of the parade. Bop-a-sah!

And the list is incredible. Like their list of past kings are like Dom DeLuise. Whoa, that's big. Wait, wait a minute. Was he an American tail? Yes, he was, Durz. That's my reference. Yeah, he's a fucking cat. Yeah, well, that's like old. And then it goes like in the 80s, it's like Hulk Hogan and Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Wait. Right after we did Hard Target, probably. And Val Kilmer and Gandolfini. Whoa. And...

And then, like, Elijah Wood and Sean Astin, back-to-back years. Oh, shit. And then Anthony Mackie, Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly. And then here we are in 2023, and it's me, baby. Okay. Perfect. And it's going to be a true epic throwdown. What the hell is it? It's just... What are your duties? It's essentially just a... Yeah, my duties...

Essentially, I'm like, I really, I don't know. I'm like excited to find out. I think like Friday night, there's going to be like a big party, a big welcoming party. And then Saturday is pretty chill. And then Sunday is the parade. And the parade is like five hours long. I'm just aggressively throwing out beads. And then there's a giant party that lasts till like 5 a.m. So I think it's going to be like a true epic throwdown. I just want to party.

And by the way, the guy told me he's like, only one king has made it to the very end on Sunday night. Anthony Mackie. And that was Anthony Mackie. How did you know? Ders, you got it. Was it? He paced himself. Yeah. You got it. I knew it. Yeah, it was. It was Anthony Mackie. He's a pro. And I'm like, oh, shit, dude. I have to. I guess he's a New Orleans local. So, like, he knew what to do. He knew what to expect.

So, yeah, I plan on going long, hard, and strong. Yeah, I don't know if pacing's your thing. I'm kind of stoked I knew it was Anthony Mackie. Yeah, dude. He's a party pro. Well, yeah, the thing is, though, I don't need to pace, dude. My body takes up, just gobbles up alcohol, and I piss it right out, man. Right. Adam is like Sandman. You're not done.

Adam is the Sandman of the friend group. He can just kind of absorb and shape-shift. Yeah, just absorb it. That's cool, dude. Just have another. So is it heavy partying all three days or you save some in the tank for the last day? Like how do you pace this out? Come on. You know our guy. What are you doing? Well, no. I think what it is is I get in Thursday night and there's like a little restaurant. What's cool is like since I'm the king, they straight up close restaurants down. Wow.

That's nice. It's good. It's going to be crazy. Yeah. So it's going to be like nuts. And so, uh, Thursday, uh, we're, I'm, my guess is we'll go out big Thursday. We'll go out big Friday, Saturday. It'll be like daytime stuff. And then at nighttime kind of crash early. Cause Sunday, uh,

is like the true main event is what the plan is. My guess is that it's going to be full on the entire time. Nucky grandma. That's just my guess. That's just my guess. Yeah. If I had to guess, yeah, is the rolling me back into the room, uh, Sunday morning. That's going to be, so you're, you're confident, but, but I, you know, I'm going to go to the children's hospital and, uh, and you're confident you're going to make it. What's up guys. Who,

Who listens to the pod? Yeah, I've never, Kyle, I've never not made anything. No, I mean like you're confident you're going to make all days like you're going to do the Anthony Mackie. Yeah. Fuck yeah, bro. I've never not. Okay, okay. Yeah, I mean, do you think I would ever quit? I don't know. Do you see give up in me? I don't know. Only if they make you get up early.

Is there a time where you have to get up? Yeah, what are these call times? That's what I mean. I'm like, you're talking. Well, they were like, no, it won't be early. It'll be like 9.30, 10 a.m. And I'm like, what if it's noon? And they go, hey, you're the king. It can be noon. And I'm like, great. Whoa.

Oh, okay. Great. Right. Yeah. Wow. How interesting. They're just going to change all the clocks. Yeah. Actually, it's not that time. Yeah, dude. Dang, that's going to be fucking wild. Yeah. So I think it'll all be very, very doable. I've never done any sort of Mardi Gras at all. I don't know much about the traditions, but it seems like it's very fun.

I bet it's a very buzzball-friendly atmosphere. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. That's what I'm saying. If I get, like, a buzzball little beads, that could be sick. Yeah, get your buzzball on, baby. Biggies. Biggies. Oh, wow. That would look cool, dude. Yeah. Okay, we got an opportunity. Biggiesies.

So what's going on? Are you talking with Buzzball behind our backs, Blake? I heard rumors that you might be talking to Buzzball. Yeah, we had a little conference call last week. We got some things in the work over here. This guy's going corporate. Oh, my God.

I'm feeling good at it. As the kids say, securing the bag of buzz balls. Yes. That's great. Twitter will be a buzz. We're trying to trend, baby. Let's go. Dude, I'd love that for you. I mean, smooch. They're packing up the smooch for us, guys. I want you to taste it. Oh, we got a smooch boy. I want everyone to know. I'm excited to sip on a smooch. Smooch VBB. Get a little splooch. If you get a little splooch right here, it's not a big deal.

And Kyle, you're riding the liquid death train all the way into the station or what, baby? Bro, yeah. Just like every one of us. Yeah, dude. That's cool. Yes, sir. I like that, man. Yeah, man. Wow. We got a lot of big things popping in the new year. We do. Not the movie, but a lot of other things. Hey, Kyle, can you put beer into your mouth and then spit it out? Or does it get... Wait, what? What did Ders just ask me? This is a good one. Like, can you... Can you...

Like, drink. Can you put a shot of alcohol in your mouth and then spit it out or not? Like, mouthwash it? Yeah, it's like your question is, what are the lines? But why would you? What are the lines? Your question is, where is the line? Where is the line? For an alcoholic. Yeah. Yeah!

Can you like just wet your I don't know I know that I will smell If I want to partake and be like oh what is that wine like I'll fucking throw my My nose up in it and fucking smell that shit Yeah I don't feel like you're the type of person That like if you Like were around it like you would Absolutely need to do it especially at this point Right it's been like a damn decade Right yeah no I can smell it I don't know I mean I Have never taken a drink I've never Taken a sip and then not

swallowed it. Like, I haven't, I've just smelled. That's it. That's my boy. That's my guy. Yeah, you are a swallower. Hell yeah. So I don't know. I don't know where that would be. I mean, that's an interesting question. Yeah, I don't know, because I want you to taste the consistency of the smooch.

And I'm just wondering if you can put it in your mouth and then spit it out. Well, what you could do is you could put it in a Ziploc bag for me. And I could go ahead. Oh, you just put your hand in and go like, those are eyeballs.

Like a haunted house? Yeah, okay, sure. Put it in a Ziploc bag and then I'll put the part of the Ziploc bag in my mouth and kind of like taste it and then I'll smell at the same time. Now we're getting somewhere. And then I got the consistency and the smell and I'm pretty much there. Okay, yeah, I like that. Dude, that's perfect. Hey, you know what? I'm going to do the same thing too then. Yeah.

I want to do that too. We'll slap the bag. Is that still happening? Slapping the bag? That was a cool trend, I feel. Somewhere. Somewhere it's got to be. Absolutely. Oh, it should be. It should be. I feel like that's a tailgating thing. A lot of people- Slap the bag. Slap the bag. And slapping the bag is where you take the bladder out of the box of wine? Yes. Yes. Take that big ass indestructible bag. The udder. You slurp it and slap it. What is it?

What do you do? You just slurp it and then... You just take it and you slap it in the bag. That's it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you just pour wine out. Okay. And you just hit it hard? Yeah. But you can really smack those motherfuckers. I know. It's really cool, Kyle. It's so cool. No, I remember smacking it hard. I just thought there was like a number thing where you had to smack it once or twice or hard or soft or something. Maybe. What I like is at the Iowa-Nebraska football game, they were doing this thing called...

Getting basted where they have a turkey baster and they fill it up with booze and then they go around squirting it in people's mouths and then you say let's get basted. I'm like, hell yeah, dude. I'm into that. Winning. I'm like, I really like this.

There's no point system or anything. It's just kind of drinking out of a baster. Just some mom. The point is if you're the drunkest, you win. Oh, yeah. You get the most basted. Yeah. You would win, Blake. You'd do great. You're the master basted. Yeah. I wouldn't baste up. You'd be a wild success. Well, I don't know. Adam. It would be between Adam and Blake. It would be between you two, I think, right? John Bastow, baby. Yeah, I would say.

I like that. What a body. What a body. John Bastow. Speaking of John Bastow. Any take backs, apologies, any epic slams? I have an apology to James Cameron. Okay. Wait, is this a prepared speech? He's pulling out a piece of paper. Should we turn the mics down and you talk just to James individually? Is that cool? Yeah. Hey, Jimmy, I just want to apologize. I just yesterday...

finally saw avatar and i'm sorry about that um i honestly wild that it took you that long i know you're maybe the biggest avatar fan that i know and yeah he's not kidding basically i wanted to like bring the kids right like i didn't want to just go see it and then be like man i saw avatar my kids being like what the fuck wow

Right. Yeah. Yeah, good dad. Now, are your kids old enough to appreciate how dope it was? Because it's long. Yeah, it's super long. So, like, my real youngster was like, by, when there was like 45 minutes left, he didn't shut up the entire time. He was just like, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.

Whopper, Whopper, chicken nugget. He was like, Whopper, Whopper, single, double. But it was tight. It was cool. Who would you say liked it the most? Well, they both came home and started drawing shit immediately. The dopest thing about these movies, they're not like super game changer stories or characters or whatever. But like...

You have to go, oh yeah, none of this is real. This is all animated. It all looks real. But the animals are fucking dope. Like, I don't know. I just think it's fucking cool. It's so cool how they make that movie. Whenever I see behind the scenes footage of like,

James Cameron being the animals and like right there next to him. And they're just like in this space. And he's like using this giant head to be a placeholder to like sniff them and smell them or whatever. And then it's fucking sick, dude. He's a genius. And the action sequences...

Look, I mean, I know if you have a location, you can kind of map out your shit. And I know that they will build him the location computer-wise so he can see and plan the shots. But you're like...

How did the geography, like, how does he know that they're going to fall this way when it's turning and like water's filling up this way. And now they're in this room. It's just crazy. Yeah. It's just crazy. Yeah. It truly is a very impressive and incredible. And honestly, I loved the second movie and it, for me, I mean, I went as an adult and I didn't have kids with me. So like I was fully immersed. I like, I'm a man. It could have gone on longer. Whoa. And usually like a three hour movie, uh,

I'm the type of person that an hour and a half in, I'm like, and let's wrap it up. It's about that time. If it gets over two hours, I'm like, who the fuck do you think you are? And

This entire time I was fucking stoked. So team avatar over here. Dude, hell yeah. Wow, everybody's on the avatar train. And my kids, I don't think they'd been to a 3D movie because they were tripping on it. Oh, yeah. They were like reaching out for stuff. Oh, yeah.

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. And I was like, you're embarrassing me. It's not real. Quit embarrassing me, you idiot. Stop trying to grab her. Wait, but here's a question. So there was somebody sitting behind me talking the entire time. Okay. And I was like,

Jesus fucking Christ. Like what the fuck is going on? Then I realized they were translating for somebody. Oh, wow. So like they were with, I mean, so French to English or something. Yeah. Definitely French guys, man. Everywhere. They're everywhere. It was like an old Asian lady and maybe her daughter or younger Asian person was like, uh, translating it. Right.

At least that's what I ended up figuring out because they would only talk like right after everyone talked and I'm like, Jesus, is this okay?

No, absolutely not. Absolutely that's not. Or what if it's like a blind person? Is it okay to hear somebody be like, okay, and now they're on the dragons? I think it's okay. They're flying. Yeah. No. I think it's okay. Let's be real. No. I think it's okay. Or do they have to sit in the way back row? Yeah. You have to wait until the movie comes out at home. No. If you need... No. No, because it's 3D. No. Let's be real about this. You've got to have the 3D experience. Was the theater packed? No, and...

It was not packed. It was a free third. It was right after school. That's fair. There should be a space for this. But you got to go to the back row, no? Yes. Yes, they do. You do. Okay, what if we have showings? What if we have showings where people go and...

and, you know, interpret for people. Bring your translator showings? Yeah. Then you're limiting. Yeah, translator showings. And there's just like a German guy being like, Nein, ich schnitt! Ich schliefe! That's kind of cool. Yeah, that would be cool. Well, wait a minute. You're saying a trans show. Yeah, trans showings. Trans showings.

Well, can't you just like when you go to Alcatraz, like when you go visit Alcatraz and shit, you put on the little like history things and you get. Yes, that would be nice. Everyone knows what it's like to visit Alcatraz. Yes. I've been there. And you get the little translations. Yeah.

You get the headphones and it's like, you hear like the clanking of the jail doors and it's like, this is where Al Capone slept for a month before he was murdered. I got to get back to Alcatraz. That's hella fascinating. I want to go as a man. I've never been. It sounds fun. Dude. As a man. It's really cool. Let's go. Come up to the bay. Let's go to Alcatraz. Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Yes. Man trip to Alcatraz. Fuck yeah. Oh, fuck yeah.

All right. We're going to The Rock, baby. Well, dude, I am bummed that, you know, we were planning on doing, obviously we're going to do the movie here. Let's go to The Rock. We'll be shooting it like right now. Uh-huh. When this podcast comes out. It sucks that we aren't all together. We all need to get together during this time and at least have some fun, you know? Let's go to Alcatraz. I saw these two. These two came over to my house. That's true. Yeah, come on.

Oh, shit. Why wasn't I invited? You know what I'm saying?

Here's what it comes down to. You were in Indonesia or something. We have to talk about that next pod. Your cruise. Was he already gone? Yes, he was gone. Oh, you were already gone. It wasn't a cruise. Oh, yeah, he was. He wasn't in town. Oh, I wasn't in town. Okay, we'll figure it out. Well, debatable. When did you guys go? Let's get to the bottom of this. All right, well, let's wrap it up and jump right back next week. Ah, fuck off. Okay. They went to my house. Tune in next week. That's another episode of... Of... Day!

This is important. Important.

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To celebrate, Hellman's is sharing some easy, delicious plant-based recipes at Hellmans.com. Hellman's plant-based mayo spread and dressing. Same great taste, plant-based. Starbucks Iced Apple Crisp Oat Milk Shaken Espresso. Made with blonde espresso, creamy oat milk, and spiced apple flavors. It's an icy crisp sip you can enjoy all autumn long. Order ahead on the Starbucks app.

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