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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This is Important. I was blowing on the dick like a flute. And then I shot diarrhea out of my dick. Pissing with a bone or rocks, by the way. Buckle up.
Another day, another dollar. Oh, yeah. The bitch. Have you guys gotten paid yet for this, by the way? Nope. Doing it for free. I don't know. Have we what? Have you guys gotten paid for this?
This is not a job as far as I know. I don't know. I'm assuming we have. I think if we're ever going to get paid, we need you guys to smash the like button and subscribe to our YouTube channel. Check out what we look like. We're all getting older. Like and subscribe. Ders, do you whiten your teeth? I noticed the other day that you have really white teeth. Let me actually tell you something. I don't believe they're ever going to change in color because these four are fake, right? But if you look to the side...
And so I do, I have to get them whitened at some point because the colors don't match. And I watch like movies or TV and I'm like, oh boy. Oh, so yeah, these are going to be like all Narnar binks and your fronts are going to be all shiny and bright. Yeah. Have we talked about this?
I'm up for like doing the grill up here. What do you mean? You're up for doing the grill up here. Should we leave and you explain that to the people at home? Like my front grill is like they want to give me either –
I think they want to give me veneers on top of it. They want to shrink my first front. Why? Do you have bad teeth? Your teeth look fine. I'm still inspecting to see if this is like a cash grab on the dentist part or if this is like, if this is me that I need to do this kind of a thing. So I'm still sussing it out. But the whole thing seems sus.
I say this because my eldest child is looking to get braces because I guess when he like swallows. He's looking. He's looking to get them. He's checking them out. Yeah. When he swallows, his tongue goes forward, which is like pushed his teeth out a little bit. And I'm like, the doctor's like, we swallow real quick. He's like, see how his tongue goes out. And I'm like, then I'm sitting there swallowing. I'm like, I think my tongue. I think everybody's tongue goes out. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, what do you mean? What do you mean your tongue goes out when you swallow? Like a lizard, it pushes forward.
So like when you swallow, does your tongue push against your teeth? Yes. Yes. Everyone does. That's why I was like...
Mine doesn't. I just swallow. You swallow your tongue? Intentionally not doing it. I'll try again. I'm talking about without anything in your mouth. Then you'd swallow your tongue. Blake, it's so good having you here. I'm going to try again. Anyway, he was like, do I need to get braces? And he was like, you didn't get braces. And I was like, I wish I got braces so that I actually had my teeth instead of these fake dog caps. Yeah, because your teeth were some real funky comodinas. Well, Pat, well, Pat.
They were a little whoop-wap. Whoop-wap, whoop-wap. Oh, wait. So, like, totally normal, right? Yeah. What do you mean? This is what teeth look like. Wow, look at those. This side was a little whoop-wap. Do you have, like, two less teeth than you're supposed to have or something? We've been over this. I had an extra tooth.
Oh. So like up here, I had an extra, when I lost this one, there was another tooth in the way. So this one started growing in far apart from this one and they had to like pull the other one out. Thank you, God. Fucking ew, dude. But you don't like your veneersters? Because I think they look real pretty, dude. I think you look really, really hot. And I appreciate that. But I do just wish that they were my teeth. Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I'm up against. I do have moments where I'm like, what if I got braces back then instead of just getting caps? And I was like, I probably would have been booking constantly because I would have looked like a high school kid with braces and all that. It would have been like my thing. You would have been booking something.
Yeah, but you weren't an actor when you were a young boy. No one would hire me. Not a young boy. I'm talking about when I moved to LA and got these. When my giggy died and left me some money, I was like, I'm going to get braces. Shout out to giggy. See, so that's what I can. I could maybe get calf implants. I could maybe do the Invisalign or whatever, but I don't want to be the 40 year old with fucking braces, dude. I don't. No one sees it. Why? Get over it, dude. Yeah.
Invisalign's fine. Invisalign's fine, homie. Really? And people are hyped on that now. And also, you're not an actor, Kyle. Get a fucking full-on headgear. Yes, he is. He's your favorite actor. I'm an actor. Well, he is my favorite actor, but you're not actively
pursuing acting roles. That slipped out. Career's kind of ebb and flow, but I was on CSI. He was on CSI. Thank you, W&E. I mean, I'm totally fine. I mean, I'm totally fine. Yes, you are. Now I'm Hulu. Sure, sure, sure, sure. But you could have braces in all of those roles. It makes the character way more unique. You're right. That's what I was saying. So then is it Invisalign or do I go old wire?
Do I go? I think, well, for you, metal. Metal, right? A full-on face of metal, dude. That's the conversation I'm going to have with him today. How much for Invisalign and how much for fucking metal? Dude, Kyle, if you get braces, you will be absolutely 10 million times cooler. Yeah, you would be my favorite person.
favorite podcaster because right now you're not my favorite podcaster but you are my favorite actor so you get those braces and you have to talk through them and your mouth is like you just have too much things in your mouth so you're always talking like this hands down favorite podcaster when you go in ask if they got any old school ones laying around throwback like retro
You could bring it back. Yeah, dude. 90s, Blake. I want some 90s braces. Yeah, I want to put my braces on and listen to vinyls. Dude, all you have to do is pick out what color rubber bands you want and you're good.
That was the best. What color would you get? Probably black and orange because I like Halloween. I'm a dude. Cool. You are somebody. Cool. You are a person. Dude. Dude. And the fact how hard you laughed after that. Probably black and orange because I like Halloween. He finally spoke a truth.
He's just looking at Blake, bro. Blake's just wearing orange and black. I don't know. I also like Halloween. He's looking at his top two screens and I'm wearing a black t-shirt and he's wearing orange. He's like, black t-shirt. This is just usual Skype suspect in the room. Buzz and frog. Buzz and... Yeah. Well, I just got some dental work. I don't know if you guys remember. Remember that huge gap I had right there? Yes, very aware. Yes, point. It's how I describe you to people. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I got it basically. Will you come closer? I still left it a little bit. Yeah. Come in, come in. Way closer, way closer. Yeah, there we go. Oh, okay. Oh. So they extended the tooth kind of? They put a little, what is that? What do they call that? Cat?
Cap? A cap? What, the tooth? They called it a composite. Yes, that's what it is. And it took like 20 minutes. And then they just buffed that shit? Yeah, and then they just sanded it down. I was like, if it was this quick, I would have done it years ago. I thought it was going to be a whole fucking thing. They're like, oh,
No, that's easy. How long did you think it should take? Yeah, what do you mean? Dental work doesn't take that long. Dude, I thought it was going to be like several trips. I don't know. I haven't spent... I've never had braces or any real dental work. It's definitely enough for me, though. And I've only ever... I think I've had like one or two cavities in my life. So it's... I haven't spent much time... I think advancements in the dental world are...
almost constant. Yeah, they are fucking killing it. Every couple years, it's like, actually, we don't do that anymore. It's a whole wildly new routine with the exception of the old school drill toothpaste or toothbrush thing. They haven't changed that. Oh,
The polisher. They put it in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, where they're like, you want root beer or bubble gum? And you're like, what? Well, I know Blake is always... You get your teeth whitened, right, Blake? No. No, I don't. Yeah, you do. You get your pubes bleached and your teeth bleached. I bleach my pubes. You get your teeth whitened. Don't.
lie to the fans. No, I don't. You have before. Oh, this is good. I've done whitening strips in the past, but I haven't done whitening strips in so long. They hurt my teeth. Oh, okay. Maybe that's what I was thinking. Because I got a free whitening from the dentist. He was like, do you want me to? I could just do it. And I'm like,
Fuck, okay. Did it. So you did the fucking... Yeah, you hit the thing. What was that? I did that shit once. I didn't like it. I didn't like it. Dude, it was great. I think it's new. What a trash. Adam loves it. It hurt. No, now it doesn't hurt. Now it doesn't hurt. I was afraid it was going to hurt too. Wait, it feels good now. Oh, it feels good? No, it doesn't feel good, but it's like... I was expecting it to... Because I've done the strips too. It burns off the enamel. And it fucking hurts so goddamn bad. Yeah, dude. I'm not...
into that. I'm not into that shit. But he's like, no, there's been advancements, as Drew's just said. And the dental technology, yes. They always are happening. It really shouldn't hurt that bad. And I'm like, okay. And so he did it, or she did it, actually, and
He's a she now. And it was fucking great. And then the next morning, I woke up and had five cups of coffee. It's science. Just put the brown back on the white teeth. Dude, totally forgot that I'm supposed to wait 24 hours. Chloe comes upstairs into the kitchen. She was like, what are you doing? You're drinking coffee. And I'm like, yeah. She's like, you got your teeth whitened yesterday. And I'm like, oh.
They're just tie-dyed. They're like stripped down and super absorbent. They look like the rings of a tree. Yeah, I woke up really early, oddly, and had like five cups of coffee. I'm feeling ready to go today. And now I'm chugging red wine. What? What's up? What's up?
We talked about when I got my wisdom teeth pulled out and Seinfeld had an episode about how he went under and as he was going under at the dentist, the people started making out, like the doctor and the assistant. And then he woke up and his pants were undone. Oh, yeah. And so when I woke up and my mom and the dentist were there, I was like, you know, they're like, how do you feel? I'm like, I'm good. But when I woke up, my pants were undone. My fly was open.
I'm going to come.
What? Yeah. I was like, my parents were undone. The joke didn't land with mom? No, zero. My mom got terrified and was like, okay, he's just talking, but I'm from Seinfeld. Okay. And no one thought it was appropriate. Was that the first joke you ever said that really didn't land? Didn't land. Because I remember mine as well. Yes. Yeah, it was weird. It was very weird. Every joke before that, standing ovation. Crushed. Right, right.
That was when you got your wisdom teeth taken out or something when you were a kid? What joke did you say when your wisdom teeth were taken out? Well, I had mine taken out just a few years ago. No, this was when I was 20, maybe. Right. Oh, okay. Yeah, just a few years ago when I was 20. Right.
My wisdom teeth, probably five, six years ago, I want to say. Later. And then, Blake, what was the first joke you ever told that didn't land? Right, Blake. Wait, you want to circle back to the first joke I ever said that didn't land? Yeah, what's the joke that didn't hit the runway, baby? Okay, well, speaking of runways, I was at the airport, so I used to fly to see my... It's this thing on...
Open for Adam. Now I've got a hot 15 seconds. That's my light. Is that the light? It's not the light. Can I do one more? Yeah, it's not the light. It's a good one. 60 seconds. Can I not do one more? Now, is that the light? The light's just not on. Is that the light?
Is that the light? Actual lights that are pointed at the stage? That is a light. No, those are just lights on the stage to illuminate you. Okay, okay. Okay, all right. Oh, okay. Let me know because I just swore I saw it back there. Blake, was this the joke that didn't land? No, this is landing. This is landing. No, so okay. This is a pre-9-11 world. I used to fly...
Hey, he's killing Super. He's crushing Super. It's a pre-9-11 world, so I want to set the stage. I remember it well. Go ahead. But it was hot on the heels of the Unabomber. I don't know if you guys remember the Unabomber. Yeah.
How crazy is it that kids that are born after 9-11 are drinking right now? Dude. Okay. It's crazy. Wow. Thank you. And we're back. Thank you, Uber facts. Wow. Let's just think about that for a second. The Unabomber was after 9-11? Zip it. No, pre. No, this is pre-9-11. It's a pre-9-11.
pre-911 world are you listening? Okay, pre-911 after Unabomber. A very specific time. Yes. Post-Unabomber, pre-911 go. Yes, yes. So you used to like... Hang on a second. What was funny? Think of what was really funny. So basically, I would travel to see my dad on... I would get on a plane to see my dad. Where was comedy there? Okay, yeah.
And I would walk up to the counter with my mom and you had to check in to get your boarding pass. And they would always ask you if you had chemicals or guns or if anybody had asked you to hold a bag or whatever. And I remember being like, oh no. I was like, oh, just some guy named Ted Kaczynski. You're a bummer. And they're like,
They're like, what? And I'm like... Because they don't know who that is. My mom's like, shut the fuck up, dude. I'm like, Ted Kaczynski. And they're like... You had just watched Good Will Hunting and you're like, Good Will Hunting? Rob Williams? They're basically just like...
Like, we should take you to another room and, like, not let you on the plane, but since you're a little fucking kid, like, just don't say bomb jokes at airplanes. Since you have that cute little afro, you're allowed on the plane. Since you look like a girl on the USA Gymnastics team, we're going to let you go. You're going to have to go. Yeah, young Kenny Strug. What was the bit they did on SNL? Oh, it was Chris Kattan was...
her little sister or brother. And he was on with her. It was so legit. And she's like, yeah! Because she had a hella crazy voice. It's like, it's such a good sketch. He would just mirror her voice. Yeah.
And then what'd you do? You guys want some cookies? Hey, and shout out to Jordan Peele for Nope and giving Catan the biggest shout out ever. Wait, what was the reference? Yeah, I don't remember that. Is Chris Catan in Nope? He's not in it, but they talk about an SNL sketch and they're like, Catan is slaying it as always. And I'm like, yes, always slaying it. Yeah, he did. He was an absolute crusher. Right.
Wouldn't put him in the movie, but they're alluding to his Mr. Peepers character, which was a legendary character. I need to watch Nope. That's on the short list of movies that I need to watch. Chloe and I just went to a screening, not a screening, but we went to the movies. Oh, hello. That's a screening. And watched Babylon. It's three hours long. Which one? What movie? Babylon.
Oh, Shazel? Is that a Damien Shazel movie? Yeah. Damien. Is it Shazel? Shazel. I don't pronounce anything right, but I pretend to know that I know how to pronounce all of them. Is that Damien Shazel? Diablo. Shazel. I always take the road less traveled. Shazel? Shazel?
Dig in Gisele. Gisele? Gisele. Yeah, that's him. Yeah, the fucking whiplash guy. Yeah. And it's really, really, really, really cool. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I love like old Hollywood stuff. What's the time period? It's like 1920s. Yeah. Golden age. Hollywood land. The dawn of moving from silent era into...
The talkies. Into talkies. I love that. I love that era. Yeah, I love that era. It's got its cool parts. It's super cool, but it's so long. I pissed three times. I think just watching movies now at home.
Has gotten my bladder to the point that I'm used to just every hour or so going to the bathroom. It has nothing to do with your body and aging and your prostate. No, I don't think so. Did you actually get up and go to the bathroom though? Yeah. Yeah, I went up to the bathroom.
room three times. Get a colostomy bag. Oh, you did leave. Three different times. I don't know if you're pissing in a cup or something, bro. Yeah, I got up and left. I went to the restroom three times. Hold up. Quick question. Are you rocking with a giant soda? I did. Yeah, I had a giant soda and a giant water. And a giant water?
You can't do that. You have to piss back in the cup. You have to finish. Just get an extra cup. Say, can I get an extra cup? For my piss? No, you don't say that part. I'm still going to send it. So I can put my limp dick inside of it around these other people and piss into this? Bro, you can block it. Wait, when you piss, you're not hard? Are you limp during movies? I'm still going to send it. Are you limp when you piss? I am during movies, but you're right. I am rock hard when I piss.
Oh, right. So it's tougher. Pissing with a boner rocks, by the way. I know that's going to be my little clip at the beginning of this episode. Now I don't want one. Pissing with a boner rocks. Todd already started that one. Can we talk about the clips? Look, I know we always go into these worlds, but Todd, producer, editor, can we just...
vary it a little bit. No, just keep doing what you're doing. Don't listen. No, man. Don't listen to Dirt. Keep doing what you're doing. It's gold. Can we do just one where we say something enlightening? He says no. Okay. We've never said anything. No, never. What do you think they... What would it be? That would be weird if we dropped wisdom. It's always like, and then I shot diarrhea out of my dick. Thanks, show. Die.
Now that's going to be. Yeah. Now that's yours. Now that's yours. You're clippable baby. That's how I got mine. Yeah. Uh, here now, Kyle, you do yours. Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Very shaggy dick. I just made a sound for mine, and that's what that's going to be. I don't know if that's going to be yours. Yeah, because it cut out. I just made a sound. It cut out. You had one job. Yeah, that's not going to be yours. Yeah, they'll find something else. They'll find something else. Yeah. Yeah. I had better stuff already. I'm not going to top my stuff. So when I was tonguing his D-hole. Adam, congratulations. That's what yours is? You know, that's going to be... That'll be... I was blowing on the dick like a flute. Your boobs are huge. Okay.
Like the top of a bottle. I don't know. It seems like a reach when you try this, too. I think it seems like you're trying too hard. Maybe. Maybe it could be. Nucky grandma! Yeah. Yeah, that could be. I have a tendency to do that. Try hard. You're a try hard, bro. I'm a try hard, yeah. But look where that's got him. No, try hard's so funny to me. Why is that a diss? Kyle, look what's got him. This guy's backstage somewhere. Okay, stop.
I know. He's about to do the Tonight Show. Yeah, I'm currently backstage at Letterman. I try hard, okay? Yeah. Yeah, I try hard. And my boat that doesn't work says that that's cool. Yeah.
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Life is happening around us. So many things to do, places to go. If you switch off, you're out of it.
But if you switch on, you're part of it. Subscribe to The Washington Post today at WashingtonPost.com slash iHeart. Switch on The Washington Post. You got a busted boat? Rudderless. Yeah, my boat keeps breaking down, dude. What the fuck? And they can't figure out what it is. They keep like changing stuff. They're like, should be good. And then I go to take it out. And it sinks. And then a motor straight up dies. And I like float into shit. Hey, we got another actor with a boat. Yeah.
Can you just get a tugboat? Is that what happens? You get tugged in? Yeah, you get towed back. You have to call a towboat. Why don't you get a tugboat? I should just buy a tugboat, yeah. And then you'll make your money back tugging other people. What?
And there's mine. That would be a cool ass boat to get. That would be it. That would be it. No, the best job on the bay is the, the sheriffs on the bay. Cause they don't really do anything. And then when they do do something, it's awesome. Like someone's trying to steal a yacht and they're like, get the jet ski and you have to like, and get the Uzi. And it's fucking cool. Right. And most of the time they're just cruising. Like you see them, they'll cruise past drinking their coffee, just on a boat.
boat all day and I'm like, what a cool gig. Just throwing evidence overboard for their friends out at the station, huh? Yeah. Right. And we found a little pound of coke. Yeah. Found this powder. Sprinkle, sprinkle. Maybe we didn't find it. Put that in my coffee. The fish are gonna like that. I like how Blake's evidence is drugs as if that's gonna incriminate them. It will.
Well, maybe. It could. It really could. I'm talking about like guns that are. Oh, guns are legal, bro. Not that if, but if you murdered somebody as a policeman with your gun, it's trace, it's all traceable. Each bullet leaves a distinct fingerprint. Wait, what? Where's, I want to know where Ders is. Where's Ders? Wait, where? Yeah, I want to know where your mind is because you have a whole scenario set up in
your head I'm just doing some coke out on the water you guys know I was a police officer before I got into comedy I know it works yeah he's just doing water coke water coke that's not a good combo you know what I was thinking on my drive down to Orange County today how much he loves sublime that we have to dust off crossbows and mustaches I feel like we're talking about projects that we
want to do together since we no longer can do the workaholics movie I'm pissed now I think crossbows and mustaches would be a super fun thing to do
I was thinking the same thing because obviously we wanted to give something very special to our audience with the Workaholics movie, so it was going to be a little pricey. But the whole shtick of Crossbows is that it's cheaply made, so I feel like we could do it. We could do it. We could pull it off on a budget. I know. I would love to do that now. That would be fun to do now, just to do like the...
VFX and all that. It'd be super fun. And by the way, this could be for anybody. But like really cheaply and kind of janky looking. Yes. From the 80s. Yeah. Like really perfect that, that perfect, that visual would be fucking great. Get your brother back in the grandma outfit. Right. My bro.
Adam's a stuntman for everybody. Yes. Herniated disc. And keep using the same, like, if we do like a car jump or something, we use that same car jump. Over and over. For every jump that we do. We're like, quick, hit that ramp. And it's the same ramp from earlier. Yeah. Out in the field. Yeah. Bruce and Steve in the Mini Cooper. It's just like.
But at the same time, we get paid officially. Let's just do a crowdsourcing. Let's crowdsource this. Yes, yes, yes. Limited. We limit the budget. That's what we do. We limit it. Yes. There you go. We cap it off. It's limited in the budget. It's capped. It's a limited series in how much they pay us and give us to make the show. That part, it's very limited. There is something special about those...
like 80s looking era what was i watching uh greatest american hero the other day oh my god dude it's so good i don't even know what that is is that like mr t time or not i mean a team time is that like that kind of era no well it's in the 80s this is a comedy about a superhero that's not that super correct oh yeah it's called greatest american hero i don't know if i've ever heard
of this. Yeah. Yeah. It's got that like awesome theme song. You've heard the theme song. Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. And then it ends with believe it or not, it's just me.
I think Blake likes it because the guy has his hair. No, he looks more like he could be you at a young age with like blonde short curls. I'm living in a nightmare. Stop trying to fuck me. Well, yes, it does look like a mix of Blake and Ders. This is you guys together are a great American hero. Yo, the show is weird, though. It's
actually really fucking cool. He's like a teacher. And he's like commanding respect from the bad students. It's a special ed class, but it's just kids who are like...
Just like not good kids. Like gang members. Right. Like the continuation schools that they had. Right. Oh, sure. Like stand and deliver. So it's a special ed class, but they're not good kids. It's like stand and deliver. They're bad kids with Down syndrome. Well, I feel like when you say special ed, you... No.
I know what you're saying. Special ed is different. That's when you have like severe learning disabilities. Like a disability. These are just the troublemakers. You're talking about like alternative school. Yeah. We called it alternative school. It was the fourth floor at our school with the babies. Really? Yes. The fourth floor, bro. We kicked them out. They were in another school. Right. That's nice. You kicked them out? What? Yo, I did.
Adam was in charge. Yeah. Well, I mean, I didn't get them out. I didn't. Yeah, you did. Homecoming court had to kick them out. Yeah. Yeah. The homecoming court decided where they go. Uh, Adam's first parade was walking them through the school saying, shame, shame. No,
There was like a bad kid school? No, I was like one detention away from being there myself. So I was like, no, they're cool. Oh, shit. Were you really, dude? They're one of us. No, they were in like the old high school. The abandoned high school. The super old brick high school down the street. Wow. Right. What was your new high school made of?
It was like an old, it was like a, it was like when it was just farm country. So it's like essentially just like. No, I know, but you said brick. Ha ha.
Yeah, but the whole outside is cement. A lot of cement, mostly. That was your new school was cement. The new school was mostly cement. Because my high school was brick. Well, maybe your high school is what he's thinking of. Yeah. Wait a second. Yeah. We put all the mean, dumb kids over there. It was like a small and everyone was trying to kill each other. Wait a second.
Blake, looking at this Great American Hero, are you looking at it because you're trying to reboot it? You're like doing some developments over here, trying to find the thing to do after the Workaholics movie blew up in our face. We're trying to make some moves, dude. And I was, yeah. I promise you someone's got tabs on it. I love that, dude. For sure someone does. It's too hot of a title. Well, you've looked into it, so you would know this answer.
Blake? I think he's watched the show. I'm at the watching stick? Okay. I'm on the episode three, season one. Adam, this is where you guys differ. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like, huh. He watched it to turn it into a show and he's just going to become a fan of it. And when it gets made to be like, oh, cool. Someone made it. Yeah, I knew it. I fucking knew it. Someone did it. I knew that was a good idea. Right.
I had that, man. Yeah, dude. And it's pretty funny. Fuck. There's something there. Man, I had that idea. I should have done it. Anyway. I watched Time Bandits the other day. Have you guys ever seen that? Terry Gilliam. That's being remade. I auditioned for that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I also haven't heard of this one. Time Bandits.
Really? It's a rough watch. Is it a show? It's a movie, right? Movie, movie. Yeah, yeah. It's a movie, but the new thing's a show, I think. Your boy Taika's doing it, dude. No, I know. It's Taika and Jermaine. They're both doing it. It's out. They're shooting right now in New Zealand, and-
The other director. It looks unreal. Whatever the fuck this is. I heard there's no little people in it. And that was a problem for Terry. Yeah. Oh, really? Well, Terry Gilliam is just like kind of a wild man, right? Like I've. Yeah. Like he is. He was the end. He was the you of Monty Python. Yeah.
Right. I remember when I found out he was the dude who was like behind the scene cutting all that shit and putting it together. Doing all those crazy. Yeah, man. I don't know what you would call those animations. Right. Dude, I've never even heard of this. It looks unreal. It was not huge. It looks like a thing that I would love. I mean, it's absurd looking. If you can finish it, if you can get through it, I'll give you $1 million.
It's a tough movie, yeah. It was cool when you were a kid. Kinda. Because it really doesn't make sense. Sort of. I never thought it was... I never really latched onto it. I remember wanting to lash onto it really bad. I bet it would scare me. Like this... There's like a giant walking, talking pig. I bet that would terrify me when I was a little kid. It doesn't cut together well. Like just this pig who...
and not cute looking like really scary like looks like a fucking pig the imagery is cool sean connery makes an appearance which you're like well i thought his better movie was he did baron munchausen right i used to watch that shit all the time and he did 12 monkeys which is right to me an all-timer 12 monkeys is fantastic yeah and he did uh fear and loathing also what
Really? Yes. That's Gilliam. Oh, he fucking rocks, dude. Yeah, Gilliam rocks, bro. He's whoop-wap. He's whoop-wap. He's very whoop-wap. Yeah. What an ultimate whoop-wap. You know when a naked grandma whoop-waps? That was him. And we love him, and we want to give him a gift, but it ain't going to be flowers. I'll say that. It ain't going to be flowers. No, where's this a huge shout-out to our boy? Hey, huge shout-out. No flowers. But you're saying that he doesn't like flowers.
the stuff that of his that's being remade he what I read the other day in my trashy news feed which is a whole other thing was that he walked off set because he was like what the fuck is this see ya he walked off set because there was no little people cast in the film because he's like where are the little people and are they is there a specific like specific you had it right
The whole group of the bandits are little people. Yeah. Oh, okay. I see. The Time Bandits are little people in the movie. Okay. But there's no reason that they're little people other than maybe visually it's interesting for 1981 or whatever. So Gilliam got...
Killiam got all the way to fucking New Zealand and he showed up and sat in his fucking chair with his name on it and got to the monitors and he's reading the signs. He's like, this is great. I can't wait to shoot this. He sees Tycho line up the shot and he's like, wait. Are you going to pan down? Are you going to pan down and reveal the main character? Why is that guy
5'9". Right. How tall is he? You gotta be careful how you shoot. Why is that man 5'9"? Right. And why is that girl 5'3"? What the fuck is going on here? Yeah, he's shoulder height. They're the same height as me. Yeah, that's not. This is a problem. That's not the bandit. They're not time bandits. But I think we're kind of getting into that era since everything is a remake now where like the original creators do not fuck with the shit being remade and we're starting to just be like
well, who cares whether they care at all? Like, yeah, we don't. Nobody fucking knows who Terry Gilliam is. Who's 25 or 20 or 15 is going to go see this movie. It's a show. Who's going to, who's going to click in on that shit. It happens with Alan Moore all the time. Like he created Swamp Thing and Watchmen. And he's just always like, if they want, once the shit comes out, he's just like, I'll never fucking watch it. I already hate it. I don't even have to know. I read that interview with him. Like he's like the meanest. He created Watchmen and,
Yeah. Even though the Watchmen series was fine. I thought it was awesome. I thought it was cool. I really liked it. This is the guy who reinvented comic books and is considered a genius and also considered not a great guy. But he's an asshole. Yeah. He's in my league. I wonder what it is they're not fucking with because they're fucking with probably the money. You know what I mean? He actually is the guy who created League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Yeah. That's true. League of Extraordinary Assholes. But he meant assholes. And he was like, I can't write that. Yes! Points! Woo!
Okay, that's a slight point. And he did Vs for Vendetta. Yeah, he's amazing. Damn. Damn, son. What's the Swamp Thing book called? Because that shit is... It's called Swamp Thing, I believe. It's not Swamp Thing something or other? I don't know, but it flipped Swamp Thing. It's completely like...
It's an incredible way to think of it. It's fucking amazing. I guess Lisa Kudrow is going to be the lead of Time Bandits. Well, I'm in. I'm in. Alan Moore is out. Terry Gilligan, out.
Wait. Yeah, what are we saying here, Blake? One more time. That's all vodka in that glass? What are we doing here? Good morning. Good morning. My favorite talk show bit. What's in there? A cup you got there? What do you put in here? There's a strong coffee on this thing, let me tell you. Yeah.
Yeah.
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I don't know. I could see people not... He just spends a long time...
in every section of the movie. So like if it were, it's three hours long. So if it were two hours long, I think I would really have loved it. But remember you said Avatar 2 could have been longer. That's why I'm kind of like caught up on this. True. So you think it should have been shorter? Yes, I do. But I also, it was a late night. So I was like out of the theater by 1 a.m. So it was like, yeah.
Yeah, it was like too late. I was like, maybe I should have just... You started doing this a lot?
Ready to go to bed. Chloe's like, are you tired? No, Chloe was like straight up falling asleep. Poor thing. If that happens, that's when you need to stand up in the aisle. But I got some cocaine from some Orange County Sheriff's, boat sheriff's. So I was wired. Hold this gun while I get the cocaine out for a second. But it's so niche. It's like, who was this movie for? Because it's for, it's like,
Like, I like old Hollywood, but do people really like old Hollywood? But you saw like the notes from the studios are like, okay, well, this is a niche. We don't know if this is like broad enough. But did you see did you see Mank? Did you see the movie Mank? That's kind of in the same period.
I didn't. Okay. Curious. But they were like, you saw the studio execs were like, well, we'll make Margot Robbie half naked for the entire movie. And then they're like, well, that'll help, right? And it did. Right. There's just a scene with Shaq. They're like, what if Shaq's in this scene? Yeah.
So what does the story just suck? It's got to be stories just not gripping. I liked it, Blake. No, it was cool. It's worth a watch. Yeah, I want to watch it. I definitely am going. I'm planning on watching that film. I imagine once you open up that time period too, you're going to just like, he probably just want to stay in it. You know, it's so cool. You want to be a time bandit. Oh.
Points. What was the movie where Bryan Cranston was the writer? Trumbo. Dalton Trumbo. Trumbo. Yes, points! That was set in early Hollywood. Yeah. And it felt real. It felt like grounded. Like, that's probably what Hollywood was. That's not what this is. This is like a Baz Luhrmann, like, spectacle. Get your kitschy eyes.
Yeah. Yeah. So it's different. And I kind of like the more grounded when you go back to old Hollywood because I like I want to feel like I'm part of that time. Trumbo was a great movie. I'm going to say that that movie. Yeah, that movie. Do I need to watch Trumbo, Mank and Babylon all this week and just fucking transport back in time? Yeah. Yeah.
Let's do a Roaring Twenties marathon. Let's do it. Oh. What is Mank? What is Mank, Kyle? Mank is about Mankiewicz, the guy who wrote Citizen Kane. So it's about his journey kind of getting in with William Randolph Hearst, who was the newspaper dude who they say Citizen Kane is about and, you know, all that good stuff. So Mank was like going to his parties and that's what this is about. Oh, cool. Who Cares? Who Cares?
And who was the lead? That is, oh, what's his name? Commissioner Gordon. Commissioner Gordon. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Who cares?
dude from True Romance yeah True Romance his name is Gary Oldman Gary Oldman Gary Oldman Gary Oldman yeah yeah he's a fantastic thespian Wargaholics fan hit it Wargaholics fan which one who cares Gary Oldman is yeah oh that's that's disappointing a few many many years ago I went into an open house and he was there hello I didn't know he was there some like teenagers came over and they're like oh shit dude like we watch our show with your my dad all the time and I was like
cool awesome that's dope bringing families together and then gary oldman comes around the corner he's like dad look oh yeah that's like true i love that that's so tight cool cool dad definitely watch menk he gives a great performance the movie is is wild i think he was nominated was that when he had like the fat suit on did was he big i don't think he was big no no i think that's when he was like church winston churchill or
something. Yeah, this is like, they have a guy, the guy who plays Orson Welles is really good. I like the guy who played Welles. It's cool. Is that the guy from Balls of Fury? No. No, that dude. Doesn't he play Orson Welles in something though? Does he? He plays Orson Welles? Who cares?
I thought he played Coppola, dude. No, doesn't he play? I think he played Coppola. Shout out to that guy who's in like Fantastic Beasts and all these movies. No, he plays Coppola. Yeah. And he's in Fantastic Beasts. What is his name? He played Coppola in fucking The Offer.
Which is about the making of... What the hell are these movies? The Offer. Which, by the way, The Offer was really cool. This is about the making of The Godfather. That's Francis Ford Coppola's play. The Offer was making of The Godfather on Paramount+. No!
Zip it. But it's a really cool series. I liked it a lot. The offer was rad. Wow. I want to watch that as well. I need to watch that. Oh, yeah. I love Coppola, man. I love his whole thing. Yeah, that's worth the watch. It's really interesting. You guys are something else. I'm liking this. Wait, real quick. I just got to get this in because I forgot to do it last week. I'm sorry, mama.
B-Rabbit on Paramount Plus at midnight. Watch it. It stars me, Diego Bonetta, Monica Barbaro. Go check it out. I'm going to Mexico City tomorrow for the premiere. We're going to have fun. All right. Get her done. Oh, sick. Buckle, dude. Sick buckle. Never been to Mexico City. Heard it's cool. Chloe is going to a screening of it. She just finished, I think. She saw it before me. In LA. A screening of it at midnight. Wow.
Did she text you that it was WPAP or Naked Grandma? She texted me Naked Grandma. On the red carpet, that's the only things I'm going to say. Look, I got a call and I was like, WPAP, I got to do it. It's a Naked Grandma and I'm super excited to be part of it. Loose butthole. WPAP! WPAP!
It was a total chore. I had the donkey wheel. Adam's texting you now. Like, how is the movie? What was it? Oh, he's getting a fucking. He's getting a what? How many what? Was it? Did she fall asleep during it? We need to know. Yeah. She said, I hated Ders's part.
Oh, wow. That can't be right. No, she did not mention the movie, but I'm excited. I'm excited to talk to her about it and I'm excited to watch it myself, dude. It's going to be fun. Yeah. It's a rom-com. It's half Spanish, half English, global. Now, when is this coming out? When is this dropping? Now? Uh,
Yeah, no, exactly. I think it comes out. It's out now. That's the whole thing nowadays. It's out now. It's already out. It's on Paramount+. Yeah, February 10th. It's out as we're speaking. It's out. Okay. I don't even know why I'm talking about it. You guys have all already seen it out there. Thank you, TII Nation. Yeah. I know. It was Wapow. Yeah. Biggest movie ever. Great job, Dersi. Way to Wapow.
Whitney Cummings is in it as a sister. Okay. And that guy is a, um, he's like a big star in, uh, Latin America. Correct. He's like, there's Zach Efron. Uh, God damn sexy. He's like perform for the president and stuff down there. Um,
True baller. I'm going to come. Very talented. That's right. Now, was he cool or was he like a dick? Yeah, spilled them tea. Hey, let's sip tea. Spill the tea. With Adam D. Super nicest dude ever. Every night we filmed, I was only there for two weeks, but like every night was a fiesta. That's fun. Popo Sá!
We were filming at a hotel that's like a total wedding venue place. And we were setting up dinners like every other night that looked like weddings and just having like, he would bring his meat guy in. Shout out to Mizrahi Meats. Okay. He had like a pallet of meat sent to the hotel and we ate like perfectly cooked steaks and all this shit. It was off the chain. Oh my God.
Oh my god. It was a big party. Every night, a good time. That's why I worked with Zac Efron and he didn't fucking bring in a meat guy at all. I'm pissed now. Well, he was the meat. You gotta lick that meat off of that bone. One day he brought some shock tarts to set. Shock tarts. Yeah. So that was nice. Oh.
He has some old Halloween candy. That's about it. That's when you know you've made it when you have a guy for specific foods. Like how De Niro on The Intern had a mozzarella guy. He had a cheese guy that would come. A cheese gentleman. This is the way. He rented a yacht for us to take out on the weekend because he was like, I want to make sure you guys are having a good time on this movie. And I'm like, yeah, we are. Fucking sick. You're like, I want to make sure I make you sit set in the morning. I know, dude.
For real, though. I love it, dude. Dang, I got to dip down south. Yeah, you need to learn Spanish. Oh, yeah. Do a Mexican movie. You know how to learn Spanish? Babble. Yes, language for life. Language for life. You've heard the ads. Yeah, that is language for life. Oh, I got to get that drop. I got to get the NWO drop. Oh, my God.
Yeah, Mexico took care of us. It was a good time. And I never went to Mexico City, so I'm excited to see a different type of Mexico, right? I'm always like, oh yeah, palm trees, white sand beaches. I heard Mexico City is very, very cool. Yeah. Very cool. Yeah. Well, I'll let you guys know. Yeah, I heard. It's awesome. Yeah, please do. I've flown in, and it's...
sprawling. You're like, my God. I mean, it's like 15 million people. Todd, what's the population of Mexico City? What's the pop of Mexico City? 15 mil? That's a lot of people. It's huge. That's a lot. I wouldn't be surprised if it's bigger.
Todd, don't let me down. Todd? Todd. Todd. How big is it? Todd, how big is it? How big is it? 8 million. Okay. 8.8. 8.8. As of 2016, it's probably double that now. Oh, come on. As of 15, it's quadruple that now. Wait, but remember we flew into Lima? The population of Lima is fucking like 12 million. Todd, it's probably six. So Todd is at six. Todd, was that right? I don't know if we should get into population conversation right now.
- What are you afraid of? - Population control? - What are you afraid of? - Hey, Todd, can we look at the population of Lima? - I just don't think we know anything about this. I'm just gonna say it. - Oh, I'm terrified. I don't even know how many people I graduate with. Like, if you try to throw that number out, what do we got? Lima, okay, Lima, 11.2 million. - Numbers in geography are not a thing. - That's crazy, right? - That is absolutely nuts. - That is nuts. You know what? That's important. Lima's not even on my radar.
Until we went there. You don't know about Lima? That shit's important. But why were you landing there, Adam? Where were you going that you landed there? You know, I cannot remember now. It was a... But I remember I flew into it and I was like, Jesus, this city never ends. Wow. Yeah. Where was I flying to? And you said...
You said pilot? Take me away. Here we go. Please. Isaac says to go visit possible wedding spots. Oh, yes. Yeah, that's right. I think that is the case. I was looking at different wedding locations. This guy, your life is a whopap. And I'm not even naked grandma about it. My life is such a whopap. I'm your friend.
your friend life is a whoop hop and then you fucking so it's Blake's birthday coming up right is Blake's birthday is the next one or is it Ders' birthday is the next one I just had one Kyle just had his 3-9 Kyle just had his 3-9 it might be my birthday as we're recording this to be honest oh yeah your birthday's today
It might be. Well, no, it's well, when this drops. Yeah. Yeah. But you said when it's recorded, I know I'm a fucking idiot. I knew what he was saying. We do this live. This is T. I lie. Yeah. That means 40. We're all about to be 39 boys. I'm 39 right now. 69. Uh,
I'm excited for a 40th birthday. Yeah, man. I want to do a real bangarang. I can't wait till my spine leaks out the side. I want a red like a pack. Now, is it just going to be a year? Is it just going to be a year full of parties? Is that what it's going to be? Are we going to have a collective big bash?
Oh, you want to do one party? I feel like it can't be a collective. Kyle wants to do a joint birthday, if you know what I'm saying. I just don't feel comfortable having my own birthday. I don't like having birthdays, man. Yes, points! Kyle, you just want to say joint birthday and wink at everybody. Joint birthday. Wink, wink. Joint birthday. Now I have to. I'm going to have a heroin birthday. Perfect.
It's about female. You're going to hire like a female. Wonder Woman is going to be there. What was my heroin birthday? This is Harriet Tubman and Wonder Woman. Yes, points. And Captain Marvel. Yeah, and I show up with a needle hanging out of my arm. Oops. I guess I missed the memo. I read the invite wrong.
That kind of heroine. I just free-paced. Hey, well, come on in anyways. Oh, fuck. He's ODing. He's ODing. I've been getting into character. He's ODing.
Adam get away from Wonder Woman save me one of these one of these heroines must save me hey let me get that lasso and tie off real quick yes points Adam's flying around in an invisible jet that's a Wonder Woman reference yeah I mean that's what he's doing what's up there man Alan Moore hates it I liked it he hates the remake uh
Any take backs, apologies, giveaways, epic slams? What do I want to apologize for? Candy criticisms, car corners. Wait, do I have a candy? Did I talk about Starburst dehydrated? Yeah, you said they were not as good as Skittles. Right. Yeah. You've been saying that weeks and weeks of saying that. I can't get over it. That's all that's happened in your life. When the schedule clears up, you really want to get this shit fucking out there.
Oh, I will say that those shots that I've been doing in my hip. Yes. So I'm on my second shot now. I just did it yesterday. Is this a compliment to the shot giver? No, I'm bringing up another thing. So I guess I'll compliment the doctor. New topic? Late new topic. All right, cool. It's called PRP. And it's when they spin the blood and take the white blood cells and inject it into my hip. And it's fucking working, dude. I feel better than I felt in almost a year. Congrats.
So you don't feel worse. I feel well it hurts it really really hurts and then I live around for a few days, but then But it's getting better. It's a different thing. Yeah, it's a different thing cuz it's isolated like my pain was like all wrapped around through everything and now Once the the hurt the pain of the shot wore off. I felt right great. I was like, yeah Yeah
Is this stem cells? Working out like normally. It was fucking sick. Is this stem cells? No, it takes your white blood cells. It spins your blood around, takes just the white blood cells, and then they inject it into the injured area. And then they battle. So big shout-outs to modern medicine. Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, I'm for it. I was trying to go the more holistic approach. Nah, fuck that, dude. Yeah, get in there. Get the scan. I'm super into that.
modern medicine, dude. Oh, yeah. Yep. And I'm thankful for everyone that fell into the DMs. They fell into my DMs. They don't... Right, right. Yeah, they don't crawl in. And saying that they also had torn labrums and what they had to do to get through it. And it was encouraging. They had to do leeches. Just going like...
You know, people have, I'm not the only one. And people have also gone through this. They've gone through this. People have also, it really brings, they've gone through it. And they're going to get Nick through. We're going to get through it together. Oh dude, didn't you see my post the other day? Yeah, the cancer post.
I'm not laughing about cancer. Dude, my stand up to cancer post, I like did it super quick. I was like doing something else and I wrote like hashtag stand up to cancer and kiss cancer goodbye. I wrote kiss cancer goodbye. I wrote kiss can't see goodbyes. You gave cancer a cute name. Cancer.
We don't like. It's really cool to see how much you care. I got the can't see. Dude, I was doing something else, but I was, I was trying to post. And then I totally fucked up. And then I, I posted it and went about my business. And then Chloe came home. She was like, Jesus, Adam, I didn't,
really need to read your, your, your post. And I was like, what are you talking about? And she's like, look at what you did. You wrote kiss. Can't see good. And then my God, the TII nation fans in, in the, uh,
Yeah, they're going to rip you up. In the comments were lighting me up. Yeah, they're going to do that. Yeah, it's good. Which I appreciated. Man, I was laughing so hard. Sometimes you got to have people check you. You know what I mean? It's always good. Bring you back down to earth. It's good for relentless. I was laughing so hard. I was crying last night. So big shout out to TII Nation for. Just being relentless out there. Yeah, for being relentless and letting me know that you are so dumb. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Keeps us humble. Well, everybody run up the numbers on...
at midnight on Paramount Plus and our new favorite streamer I'm totally fine on Hulu support your TII boys and other streamers come talk to us about crossbows and mustaches and I hope you guys make greatest American hero that would be cool to see zip it I feel like maybe you should develop it but we probably not Blake I'll become a fan with you I'll flip it on
Well, let's see what happens on the next episode of... Did I talk about freeze-dried... This is important!
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