Ep 13: Which Of The Guys Would Do The Best In Prison?
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Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This is Important... We're out our motherfucking tunnel that we've been working on for a couple weeks. You cannot watch a porno now without wanting to fuck your mother. He's well-proportioned, he's got a little meat on him, but he's not too big.

They're just going to be putting a straw in your butt and slurping the potatoes out. And here we go.

Can I say that, Ders, you look really good with that new light. Oh yeah, I'm lit. Yeah. As the youngsters say. They used to say that. I don't think they say that anymore. Yeah. Why do they say litty? I don't think litty sounds as good or like proper as lit. Wait, litty, like, I think litty's kind of tight. Yeah, I'm into litty. I'm a litty guy. Well, you're just adding a titty to the lit. No. Litty. That's bad. Litty. Titty, litty. That's like when somebody says like, truey.

Yeah, I know. Exactly. Which I also love. Rui. Yeah, I happen to dig that. I actually don't know if that was like a universal thing or if that was just like our younger brothers saying that. Trui? What? Liddy or Trui? Trui. Trui. Trui? Universal. Yeah, that's universal. Worldwide, people say Trui. Are you serious? Who have you heard said Trui?

I say truey all the time. Everything's truey. It was Ben. Yeah, because it was Ben. It was Ben Bong. Yeah, Ben Bong. I say truey. Ben Bong said it one time when we were in the hot tub and it was like, yo, make sure you put some limes in those Coronas when you bring them out. And he was like, truey. And we were like, hell yeah. Oh, that's cool. And he goes, yeah, it's from MTV. Oh, God, TRL. No way, man. You produce evidence. I need you to produce evidence about that. I think the situation, I think Mike the situation probably said it first.

If anybody can produce evidence on this, I would be very interested. Well, the fact is, Ben was your brother's, younger brother's friend. And how much younger is Adam? What, three years younger? Two years. Two years. Two years younger. So, a younger Jen. Mm-hmm.

We're over here with our old ass slangs. Oh, hell yeah, we are. Cowabunga. Yeah, we're over here saying cowabunga, dude. Can you dig it? Yeah, Jack. Come on, Jack. Rock and roll, man. Oh, I love Jack. I think that's my favorite just slang. I guess it's a slang word, but just ending a sentence with Jack or Joe. Strong. Joe. What's up, Joe? I think, like, doesn't Joe Biden say Jack a lot? He does. He says a lot of old school shit. Come on, man. Yeah, man. Yeah.

A lot of come on, man. That's a bunch of malarkey, man. Come on. Malarkey's tight. I'm into malarkey. Sorry, I'm just popping a little of my pod sauce over here. Ooh, getting litty. What's the pod sauce? What do you got? Nothing other than Ashland hard seltzer brewed in San Diego, baby. Oop.

Ooh, baby. Nice. So good. It's so delicious over ice. Leaning into those product placements. Thank you, Blakey. Speaking of hard seltzers, I went to the store the other day, the liquor store. Nice. And bought, I think, 11 or 9 cases of different hard seltzers. And I'm having a taste test this weekend and into this week. Did you get Ashland? Was Ashland on the... I looked. They didn't have it. Oh.

Well, you're missing out. Yeah. I'm sorry. Talk to your boys. Holler at your boys. Yeah. The only thing hard about Ashland Hard Seltzer is it's hard to find in the stores. Damn. Oh, my God.

Baby, I'm coming in hot, hot, hot. There's so many, though. It's crazy. And I didn't get White Claw because I've had that. So I think I'm going to find the reigning champ and then compare it to White Claw. Well, you're not. We got to hook you up with some Ashlyn. We'll talk to our guy and get you some Ashlyn. It is because I did that, too, when we got when when we invested into Ashlyn. I did the same thing and I went and got all of them. And I want to say I didn't want to come too out of pocket if Ashlyn was like the eighth best. And I'm going, yeah.

Well, no, it's number one. Right. And for me, for my money, it is the best. I agree. I agree. Ashlyn Hart Seltzer. And you've had Maha. You've had Bon Vivre. Yep. You've had Nude. I have had Bon Vivre. Have you had Nude? Truly. Nude? Nude. I've had Nude in Canada. I do not have Nude. They're big in Canada. Nude goes down. I find that it gives you...

But that's just me. What was that shit, like that old ass commercial back in the day where it was like, I'm not only a client, I'm the president. Rogaine. Yes, it was. Hair club for men, by the way. Is that cool? It's just for men? Ball headed ladies? Well, I think it also makes your mustache grow. Yikes.

I'm surprised none of us went bald. That's kind of a surprising thing for a group of guys. Kyle's on his way. That's why I'm growing my hair out now. I'm growing my hair long because I'm pretty sure it's on its way out. So I'm just like trying to reach the end of it. Oh, but Kyle, that's always kind of a bad look. Wouldn't you want to go short so you can't tell as much? No, I mean, I'm holding on to it. Yeah.

I'm holding on. This is like the last time I'm going to be able to do the long hair. So I'm like fucking going for it. You know what I mean? Oh, okay. The last gas. Sure. That makes sense. I'm aware of that. Yeah. Let it keep receding and keep it long and go gray. Like the Crypt Keeper style. Just hella stringy in the back. Dude, I love that. Cause then I'll, I'll, I'll rock with you. There we go. Yeah. I think that'd be a good look. That's cool. And that's, that's when you got to start directing those, those porno movies. Yeah.

Cause you'd have that, you'd have that hair to go with it. Yeah, definitely. Fucking big career switch coming up as soon as the hair changes. Yeah. Are you ready to pop?

Is that your Crypt Keeper? Very good. I'd be the star of your first porno movie, Kyle. I'd be the star of that. You think you'd be the star. You'd hope. Yeah. Well, if I came to the table with some financing, it was like, dude, I'm like, I'm going to make a career switch. I need you because your name is going to help pop it. Like, you'd be there. Something's going to pop. Pop it. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha.

I would like to do all the like right before he pulls his dick out. Yeah. And then a very funny stunt dick. Oh, yeah. That'd be great. So you want to fuck but not like show your dick coming? Ew. No, I'm not even fucking. I'm not even fucking. Sorry. What's the buildup like? All right. I'm doing all the acting and then when it comes to the fucking...

Durs can use his or somebody else. Oh, I got you. That's where we'll put in my buddy. No, no. I want to be the dad. The dad is like, okay, I'm going to go take my car to the car wash. You're going to do your homework, sweetie. And then like some fucking giant dick dude just crawls into the window to study. So that would be Adam, right? And then I get back and I go, honey, what are you doing? And she's like, you can watch. And then I just sit there. Poor.

Pornos gotten so weird. Oh, it's bizarre. Why are they doing it? Don't even have scenarios. We don't need them anymore. It's so crazy that like you cannot watch a porno now without wanting to fuck your mother. Okay. Without like being told that that's what you want. Yeah. Okay. Penny, I don't want to fuck you. Oh my God.

You go to Pornhub and you see the ones that are hottest in America and you're like, oh yeah, we're so fucked. We're so fucked. Yeah, it's like mom gets stuck under a table and then like... Exactly. It's like we are fucked. So much of that shit. I mean, is that because nothing's taboo? Like it used to be like two chicks and then now it's like, okay, but like it has to be related now. And then now it's like 25 of your sisters...

- Yeah. - Thanksgiving gets fucking crazy. - Yeah. - Did I tell you guys the story of when my mom caught me watching porno? When I was in high school, and stop me if I told this on the pod before, because you know, we've done how many of these now? Seven? I'm losing track. - We're starting to double up. - If it involves a toe and cum in the bath water, we've heard it. - Yeah. - No, but you know what we should do is we should get my mom on the phone

and ask her if she remembers this story. - Sure. - All right. - Because I've gotten some people that are saying that I'm out of pocket and that I made that story up, but my mom for sure, I don't know if she knows that there was jizz in the bath water, but she for sure remembers my toe falling off. So we got to get her on record. - For sure, dude.

Absolutely. This is important. Absolutely. I definitely want to talk with her about that and say, Penny divine. Was there come in the bath water? Do you remember if there was come in there? I don't think she knows that there's come. She doesn't think that you're on live. Then I don't want to ask her that, bro. I don't want to do that. I don't even want to be in the room when that conversation is being had. My mom would be totally fine. My mom would be like, no,

Oh, I don't care if there's jizz. Oh, jizz. Woo-hoo. Hee-hee. Does she say jizz? Yeah, probably. You don't think she says, like, semen? She might say, she's watched work all. She's a big fan. She probably says E-jack.

Or maybe there's like a funny, like a cute word for it, like frosting or something. Baby sauce. Frosting is not cute, dude. Frosting is like, that's what, if you hear a girl say frosting, run. Way too advanced. Too much experience. That's when you mama marry her.

Lock her down. Give me your frosty. That gives a whole new meaning to frosted tips. In high school, I was watching porn. I was at home, senior year of high school. I had the last period of the day off and I was home from school early. What is it, a VCR?

Yeah, I was going to ask the same thing. What's the format? It was on my computer, but it was like my parents had the shittiest computer. We were late to the game. We bought like a used computer. So at that time, it was just like it literally like shook. It must have been on like a real player or something. Remember that shit? Like on discs or yeah. Is this Morpheus? Right. No, no. It was a sublime directory. Oh, deep cut. Wow.

Hello. Shout out Sublime Directory. Damn, son. Where'd you find this? On the internet, Blake. Will you explain what Sublime Directory is to those? Sublime Directory is... I can't even believe I pulled that from the deep wrinkly parts of the back brain because that was like the first porno website that I can remember that had like...

links and links and links and links of different stuff and they broke it down into categories much like they do now with amateur boobs interracial whatever no keep going and so that I was I was cruising but no thumbnails no thumbnails just a big picture of a dinosaur up in the corner yeah and then just like it like had a little description so you had to read and go okay I might be into that right but there were so many pop

pop-ups you remember how there used to be pop-ups all the time so you tornado pornado you click on a link and you think like okay this is this is what's gonna pop up and then five other pop-ups would pop up and you'd have to click out of those to see what you actually want to see which you would get really good at which was the saddest part you'd be like yeah

And so I hear the garage coming up and I just clicked on something and all these pop-ups and I'm trying to click out of it. I'm trying to click out of it. And my pants are down around my ankles. And so I'm like hopping through the basement and I pull up my pants, but I don't get them buckled. And I dive on the couch and I cover my crotch with a big pillow. And meanwhile, the computer is still up, but it's in the corner. And meanwhile, it's just shaking. It's just like, and my mom comes in. She's like, how's

And she's like, "How was school?" And I'm like, "Fine, get out of here." And I was like, "It was fine. Get out of here. I don't want to talk to you." And she's like, "Oh, this computer's making so much noise." And I'm like, "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of the computer." Meanwhile, she asked me what I'm doing. I'm like, "I'm just watching TV." The TV's not on, and I'm just sitting down there. And she's like, "Something's up." She goes over to the computer. And my mom's a very open-minded woman.

And she looks at the... I figured, like, if she saw the porn... I'm a senior in high school. I'm 17. So it's not that big of a deal. And she turns and looks at me and goes, Jesus Christ. And I'm like, uh...

Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see that. And she goes, what if Brittany saw this? Brittany's my little sister who's three years younger than me. She's also in high school. She's a freshman in high school. She probably also looks at porno. And I go, I don't know. She probably looks at that kind of stuff too. Constantly. I don't know. And then she goes, you disgust me.

and marches upstairs. And I'm like, that is pretty aggressive. Penny doesn't usually come at me that hard. She's usually pretty open-minded about these kinds of things. And so I waddle back over to the computer because my pants are down around my... - Still hard. Still hard. - Still rock hard from all that sublime directoring. And I look at the pop-up that had popped up and it was hot brother on sister incest action. - Oh boy.

Oh, boy. And I had to run upstairs. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I had to go upstairs and explain to my mom that I want to fuck my sister. Whoa. Oh, man. No, that it was a pop-up. Pop-ups. And I explained what pop-ups were. And she was like, you just saw her melt. She was like, oh, my God. Thank you. Oh, thank God. I knew you couldn't have actually been looking at stuff like that. Wow.

Meanwhile, you're watching like fucking milk gagging. Yeah. Bukkake videos. Thank God. Dude, the sublime directory used to give you so many viruses. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The most insane amount. I like how you said viruses. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. It was like, let me come. My dad was really good at computers and could clean it off. You knew how to use Norton antivirus and all that stuff. And he would come down and like, when we visited in LA and like, let me see your computer. You got a problem with it. All right, cool. He's like, and then he'd run the scanner and he's like, you have 30,

38,000 viruses on your computer right now. - Uh-huh, checks out. - Yeah, back in the day it was like, I mean, which I have a question, do viruses even exist on computers now? Or did the like flash just get rid of that? - They for sure still exist.

I mean, it was more of a problem with PCs, right? And then somehow Macs kind of took it to the next level. McAfee. McAfee, dude. That guy is... The crazy-ass dude, McAfee, was like, I can take care of your computers if you let me be dirty in real life. Where does he live now? Where does McAfee live? He has his own army and all that? Mexico? Costa Rica or something? Yeah, it's like in... There's a...

restaurant in the Bahamas that I went to on some island when I was doing Bad Ideas and it was McAfee's restaurant and he owned it and there was like a plaque outside saying it was his place and I'm like it's called Satan's Tongue the island of Dr. Moreau so give some backstory on on this dude

So he created the antivirus, McAfee antivirus. And then what? He just spun out of control and became a fucking lunatic? He made hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars. I don't think he was a billionaire, but nonstop cash, right? Yeah. Allegedly. Allegedly made money. And then for real, yeah, I don't know the exact details, but then he went down south and just started wiling out. I think he ran for president first.

Oh, shit. Oh, yeah? I think he ran for president and made a decent run at it, but then after that decided to go down to...

Costa Rica or whatever, where it was like more of a lawless land and kind of hired everyone to be his. He basically outfitted his own army down there and started extorting all the businesses and basically running it. And had like young girls on the compound and he got a little out of control. Time's up. Yeah. Right. I think he got caught though. I think he got busted or what do they call it? Ex...

What do they call it when they... Communicated. Extradited. Is that what it is? Extradited. Extradited. That seems about right, allegedly. Big word. I think they got him, boys. Yeah. That wasn't the dude who ended up murdering somebody, right? Like his neighbors? He killed some dogs. Yeah. And then maybe somebody died? I think there's a Netflix doc that's pretty trill about him.

Fingers crossed. I feel like he killed the dogs of somebody who was trying to stand up against him. There's a documentary on him. Yeah, there's a doc. It was his neighbors, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, it's a trip, man. He's got a sick body, though. I mean, the dude's cut. True that. Is he? Truey! I will say that. The dude's got the usher muscles. Ooh, the cum gutters. He's 75 years old, and he's doing okay for 75. There we go. Yeah, I mean, I think his face is falling off of his skull, but the rest is talk.

What does that mean? Please explain. Oh, his physical appearance? How's your appearance? Yeah, his physical appearance looks pretty great. How's his appearance?

Yeah, I mean, he looks like he's not fully falling apart. I feel when I'm 75, I'm going to be a dump truck of a man, a human walking garbage can. I'm not going to... Super saggy. I won't have usher muscles. My skin is going to be just mad droopy. Falling off the bone, like a Tony Roma rib. I always say I'm going to look like a human St. Bernard. My face especially is so gummy. Yeah.

I know for a fact that when it gets old, all this human Play-Doh face is just going to be melted candle wax. Yeah, it's droopy. You've been getting extra sun exposure too, which is just terrible for the skin. It's just...

Yeah, I have. Yeah, I'm getting like the spots. God damn. Life, it comes at you fast, man. We're gonna die. Sorry. My body's been very droopy since about age 25, I think is when it started really drooping. That's all the Funyuns. Yeah, that's a lot of chips. Yeah, you're eating too many chips. I think that's your issue. I'm not pointing a finger at anything. I'm just saying it's been drooping since 25, baby. I want to circle back to Funyuns. But...

Yeah.

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Who out of us is going to die first? Wow. That's a tough one. And I don't... You know, if you want to add in, if you want to sprinkle in that you think you know how it's going to happen. I know. Elaborate. But who's going to die first? Holy shit, dude. This is not fun for me. I'm like...

I don't wanna... Well, why don't you cry about it? Fine. Who's gonna win? Who's gonna live the longest? I'm gonna probably... I bet Durs is going to live the longest. Okay. Because he drinks the least amount. He never smoked. He doesn't really smoke weed that often. Wait, I don't drink at all anymore, just so you know. Yeah, but you had... I don't drink at all. Mm-hmm.

but you smoked for ever. Yeah, but I smoked for, yes, correct. But I just wanted to say he, he drinks the least. I don't, I don't drink at all. I drink the most milkshakes. I think if my heart will say, stop it and just quit it. If that's, are we saying who, okay. Uh,

This is just my idea. Go for it. Okay. So I believe Durs is going to last the longest. Then Blake. Blake runs every day. He's a physical specimen. Thanks. Then Kyle. And then I'm going to die...

in a helicopter crash in the next 15 years once I learn how to drive a helicopter. Oh, you will be piloting. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'll be piloting. It's going to be something silly and stupid. I'm still going to send it. But I'm still going to send it. I was waiting for that one. Yeah, I don't know. That's what I think.

And maybe my heart will go. Because I do chug Z-Quil every night. Yeah, that's true. And I do drink a carafe of coffee every morning. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely, I kind of agree with you on you going out first. I definitely am there.

Yeah. With you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would also agree. I would, I would count on Adam going out first. Yeah. But you got to say why just saying I'm going to die first. Like, why am I going to do something? Yeah. No, Dura said we could just sprinkle it, but I think it's going to be somewhere. I think we're all going to live a little bit later. I don't think anybody's going out anytime soon.

I feel like we have decades to spend with each other. I like that. Maybe. But then, you know, maybe when we start getting up to around 75 around there, we're going to start dropping. Well, yeah, that's how human beings all do that, though. I'm going to 100. I think around 90. Well, I think, yeah, around 90, 95, we're going to start feeling old.

I'm going to 100. I'm going to 100. Adam just reminded me of his nightly routine, and I think that that's a tick and tom bomb. The caffeine and then the NyQuil, whatever the fuck it is, I think that's not good for your body. The upper downer. But he's a strong boy, and I think that he'll be able to withstand that for another 35 years at least. I don't doubt that. I think he's got that Tom Cruise vigor. Yeah.

But hey, man, I also think Tom Cruise died 20 years ago and we've been dealing with a robot. Oh, you got a clone conspiracy? Oh, dude. I hope I come back as a Tom Cruise robot. Right? Yeah. It's like, what's the I'm With You singer Avril Lavigne? It's the same thing. Oh, you think Avril Lavigne is a robot or a clone? No, but I think that's out there. And I think if anyone's a robot, it's definitely not her. It's Tommy Cruise. So are these people robots?

or they have like an imposter like there's a they're like that's not the same girl there's a new girl and she died somehow or whatever yeah like tom hanks i think they said that about gucci man he was one he like went to prison and then came out all nice and skinny and they're like oh he's a he's a clone he looks great he does good for gucci gucci i want gucci man's body he's he's well proportioned he's got a little meat on him but he's not too big uh

Beautiful tattoos. The bounce back for Gucci Man was, that's the best come up. Oh, for sure. Of all. Because he was a real just... Oh, he looked pregnant. Doughy sack of potatoes. No, he was like, his belly looked like it was going to burst. I remember I saw him perform before he went in to prison, but I think he was drinking so much lean, that really makes your gut just...

I mean, it's a lot of sugar and shit in there, too. Yeah. What is the contents of lean? It's codeine and what else? Fruit punch or something? Sounds good. You, like, mix it with Fanta. You do it however you want, really. Sprite. Like Faygo? Yeah. I guess you could do a Faygo if you were a codeine juggalo. Damn. Look at this, dude. Trying to get some Faygo sent his way. Yeah, come on.

I'm sure people have done it. Hit him with some moon mist. I can't believe Kyle never became a full-on juggalo. It is weird. Yeah. You have all the makings. Well, I mean, you really can't believe that? I mean, yeah. Well, if Kyle grew up, if he didn't grow up in the Bay Area and he grew up outside of Detroit. Right.

There's a 100% chance that Kyle would have had the hatchet man tattoo somewhere on his body. Yeah, but here's where I don't think I could really get on board. I don't even like Halloween. I don't like painting my face. I don't like putting on makeup. It's not about Halloween. It's not about Halloween, Kyle. It's a lifestyle. It's about the family, okay? I'm your friend! Yeah, of course, I understand the family element. I understand the cultish element. Those are all things that point towards your boy. Okay.

but like, but the whole, like the whole painting of the face and that much preparation to go out and hang out with your family never got me. I didn't even like dressing up for fucking church, man. You don't have to wear face paint. Like you remember, do you remember there were like two dudes at our high school, Kyle, we went to the same high school and, uh,

Conquered, yes. We did. Clayton Malley, let's go, allegedly. But there were like those two dudes who would always rock like ICP hockey jerseys. And I always thought you could make a cool third to their duo. I feel like there was a time when I didn't really even know about ICP, but I did hear the music. And I was like, yeah, this is great. Great Malenko. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oh, that's the first thing I heard. Yeah. You are the Shaggy 2 Dope of our crew for sure. Yeah, there's something really cool about horrorcore. I'm not going to just like fucking... Okay. Here we go. Yeah. Well, I mean, why not? It's like just like... I feel like as an artist, it's like a fantastic expression of just like the darkest, like...

depths of your mind and your soul and you gotta get it out you know like a fucking chop the hell man it's like why don't you cry about dark carnival of the soul is the darkest of them all yeah it kind of is man and i think i'm all about art that gives an outlet for that cotton candy machines

Helicopter rides. Oh, yeah. Spooky. Damn. Scary mazes. Terrifying. Oh, man. Old professional wrestlers. Oh, that was the coolest shit about ICP is they did wrestle. For the listeners, if you don't know ICP, go down a rabbit hole. Look at the...

uh, dark carnival of the souls, which is a huge carnival that they have once a year. I'm, I'm pretty sure they still do it. When we first started writing work all at season one, for whatever reason, it was real zeitgeisty and we were hearing all about it. We were fascinated. We were truly fascinated by the insane clown possum. And we actually wrote one of the first,

what the fifth episode of that first season was we went to a dark carnival of the souls and saying clown posse show. Yeah. I think I have a photo that I'll share online when the that episode drops. Very nice. And that's when the world met Rebel Wilson. That's

right. That's right. That was her first American appearance. Yeah, I think so. I think she had already shot Bridesmaids, but it wasn't out yet, I believe. Right. And she had a really small part in like Ghost Rider or something. Oh, yeah? Like a cameo. Which they're bringing back, baby. Are they? Mm-hmm. They're trying Ghost Rider again? I think they're bringing it back and it's gonna be a woman, is what I was reading. Oh.

Allegedly. Like a movie or a show? Allegedly. Like I think she's going to be in the mix of the Marvel Universe. I don't even think Ghost Rider's been a female in the comic books. That's not ringing a bell? Hey, man, wake up. No, I mean, I'm down. I love it when they flip genders of superheroes. I think it's fucking cool. I want to be Wonder Woman. What did you say? I want to be Wonder Woman. I call Wonder Woman. Wonder Man.

Wonder boy! Yes! Great stuff. No, I'll just, I'll still be Wonder Woman and the whole time I'm like, don't assume my gender. There we go. Don't assume it. That's cool. You don't know what I am. That's great. I'm not letting you know. That's why they call you Wonder Woman because they're like, I wonder if he's really a woman. I wonder. I wonder. Maybe call Wonder They. Makes you wonder. Wonder Them. Wonder Them. That is actually a really great idea. Wonder Them. What is, Blake? Wonder Them.

Yeah. I'd watch it. Hey, why not, you know? Why the heck not? Let's let that one sit there for... What other superheroes have they gender swapped? Well, I mean, Thor, I believe they gave a run with... Was she called Thor? I think Thor. I mean, Wolverine had like a daughter, X-23, and she was freaking sick as fuck. Right. Right.

But like as far as swapping? Right. Like I mean they had versions. Sure, sure. Male-female versions like Hulk and She-Hulk. But like have they done like the full-blown this doesn't exist in comics? I feel like on Sublime Directory they had a whole She-Hulk. Oh.

Dude, dude. I love She-Hulk. I think they're dropping that too. I can't wait. Whole She-Hulk link that you could click on. Yeah, I'm sure if you Google search She-Hulk nude, you're going to find some good stuff. That's my ideal body type is a female, not a female bodybuilder, but a female bodybuilder.

Yeah. Like to get that lean female CrossFit bod, because they're jacked. Don't get it twisted. Oh, we're not. We're not. No, not at all. They're ripped. Yeah, no, that's cool. But not as ripped as like the guys get too big, too bulky. I'm trying to get that lean CrossFit bod. You want that Annie Thor's daughter bod? Annie Thor's daughter. Yeah, I'm talking about CrossFit women. They're like the champions. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You want that Tia Claire Toomey bod? I'm trying to get that straight out of Sweden. Right. What's that blonde chick? The Icelandic girls are running it. Women are running it. Are their names hella dope? Because as soon as you get into those Scandinavian names, they're so rockstar.

They're dope, except that they're like the patriarch. So like everybody's last name is like Sigmund's daughter or David's daughter. Really? So when you said Thor's daughter, that's actually the name? Yeah, I think it's like a thing that they do in the land of ice, baby. Wow, that is trippy. So the name, how do you spell it? Is it like two words? Catrin Davidsdoter.

Is that right? David's daughter. It's Catherine's David's daughter. Catherine Zeta-Jo. How do you spell Thor's daughter? It's with like a D-O-T-T-E-R. She's daughter in lasers. She dips beneath. David's daughter. They're jacked though, dude. David's daughter. I think they just had the championships this week, but it was weird because there were only five people in each, five men and five women instead of like the big open competition. But hey, man. Due to COVID? Coronavirus. The virus of

Of course. Oh, yeah. It's still sweeping the world, huh? Still out there. The virus is still out there. I wouldn't mind if it just swept right out of the fucking planet. Yeah, that'd be nice. I'm trying to get back to business. Can we get McAfee to come handle the coronavirus or what? Well, that's a good discussion. If McAfee had the cure to the virus now, or let's go back a few months and

at the peak of devastation. If he had it and he was like, you gotta set me free. Let me out. And then I'll give you the cure. You want a cure for the virus? That's some supervillain shit. Do we do that? Yeah. Yes. Suicide squad. Yeah. Yes, 100%. You let him out and he cures the virus. And then what? And then... And then... And then...

And then he goes on and takes on Trump, man. Oh, okay. That sounds better than what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, no, sorry. We'd have got to put them back. We could, we could be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Trick them. Then put them back. Yeah. We had our fingers crossed. What do they do with the suicide squad? Yeah. What do they do? They come out and they handle shit. And then what happens? Well, then I think they got to try to put them, put them back. Cause they get a little, little unruly or something. I don't know that.

That movie was pretty bad. I couldn't follow that first flick. The first hour, I was like, are we still setting things up here? I'm out. Yeah. Could not follow that first movie at all. And I tried and I wanted to and it looked very cool, but it was just garbage storytelling from my opinion, allegedly. I'm sorry, guys. I'm looking at photos of CrossFit women. Yeah.

But what movie are we talking about? Suicide Squad. Yeah, we were saying if you hear the whole of McAfee could come out, you know, and cure the virus. Yeah, that's right around the time that I zoned out and got deep into CrossFit women. Okay, turn the Google search off.

So then we likened that. Yeah. We likened that to suicide squad. Okay. And then the question is, what do you do with the suicide squad after they finished their whole mission? Do you put them back or are they staying out? I don't know. I couldn't follow the fucking movie cause the movie sucked and that's where we're at. I

I think they had a director's cut of that movie that they were like, finally, the Snyder cut's going to be released. And I'm like, there ain't no way it's better. Wasn't it David Ayers? Was it? Yeah. Then who did the Snyder? Oh, that was Batman versus Superman. Yeah, I think it was David Ayers. And he's a good filmmaker. He's made some good flicks before. That's where I think. And I heard that the studio just grabbed it.

And it was one of DC's first big movies. So I'm sure everybody got their paws all over it and was like, I'm going to fix it. I'm going to fix it. No, I'm going to fix it. And then it just turned into the fucking garbled mess that it is. It is crazy. Yeah. I loved it. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you? No, I didn't see it. I did see it. I saw it in the theater and I was very, very sad that it was so bad. And then like... You don't have to be sad. It's okay. It's just unfortunate that movies make it to the theater and they are that bad. With all the checks and balances and people weighing in, it means that...

People are just quiet collecting a paycheck and then they move on. It's just fucking sad dude. It made bank did there's too many cooks in the kitchen man They they need to let the auteur auteur Thanks, you know tour that's not safe anymore for the corporations that are taking over and I don't care guys I don't care you can hit the mute button on I'm pissed now

And that's just how I feel about it. Here's the question now, though. When you get into a new world where it's like we don't have movie theaters open right now and, in fact, they are threatened, then what is going to be the point of even making a movie like Suicide Squad at that caliber when you just have to put it on a streamer? Right, there's not. That's a great question.

There's going to be no point. We're about to see the resurgence of the indie film where the auteur reigns supreme. Well, why don't you cry about it? So it's going to be, we're about to see like a really cool changing of the guard in Hollywood. Oh, that could be cool. Yeah, but you're missing the fact that people are going to go, oh, cool, there's like this sick little story movie on about an auteur. I'm going to go play a fucking video game for 30 hours instead. Oh.

And no one's going to be watching those little... Well, video games have always kind of battled Hollywood. They're the most gross thing. They gross more than any flick in the theaters. Yeah, they're gross. But what I'm saying is that they will no longer be competing with the grand spectacle of Suicide Squad, big movies like that, 007. Now that you're saying they're going to dial back to these little movies, those aren't going to be able to compete with the spectacle of...

Oculus movie. No, they will though because it still costs so much to make one of those big video games and it doesn't cost as much to make a small flick. But they make it back. They make it back hella easy. They still make it back. They just drop the... Yeah, so the blockbuster is being moved into like...

exclusively into the video game. Fuck it, dude. Write a video game. Write a fucking video game. Here we go. Well, I'm more interested in the rebirth of the indie than the video game. Speaking of rebirth...

What are we on here? I looked up, and I'm late to the game because it took me a long time to learn how to share the screen. Yeah. But look at these CrossFit women. Don't you want your body to look? I mean, Blake already kind of looks like a hot CrossFit babe. Is that what it is, Adam? Is it like they look how you want to look? Yeah.

I'm not saying I'm trying to fuck these women. I'm saying I want my body to look like these CrossFit women. Wait, you're saying you want to be these women. Oh, that one right there. Lauren Fisher. She's famous. She's a beast. I think they're all kind of famous. Like this...

I'd take that lean-ass Danielle Seidel. Well, it's really just their abdominals is what you're drawn to, right? No, dude. The quads are out of hand. Okay. Brooke Ants. I'm trying to be a CrossFit chick. That's what I want. Adam, I fully support this. If you started rocking, yeah, start rocking like a sports bra and just hitting the beach.

Dude, that's actually a cool look. People would be like, where do you work out? I've never seen a homie rock a sports bra and it probably looks cool as fuck. Like the cutoff tee game is sick. Yeah, I could see no matter what I do and I work out really hard. And no matter what I do, I still have a little belly fat. I work out every day and I can't have the body of a Sarah Sigmundsdorf.

daughter. Yeah. Daughter. Daughter. Dude, I saw, I was driving around and watching them do some brush clearing the other day because we got fires all around here and there was this one dude, they all wear yellow shirts when they're working for the city or whatever and there was this one old dude, had to be like 65, kind of big belly but he was rocking the crop top. He had cut his shirt right below the pecs and

and was just letting it fly, but then he had also added suspenders to the mix. So he was rocking a crop top with suspenders while cleaning up brush on the side of the road and it was the coolest look. Was this a prison program? No.

No, this was a crazy guy. You know what it might have been? It was over by San Quentin. So, I mean, very much it could have been. Damn. Oh, okay. But I'm just saying the look of the crop top with suspenders was so good. Yeah, something you're going to go after. Was it part of the Liddy Committee? Liddy. The Liddy Committee. Liddy.

Truly, I thought it looked good. I don't think you're allowed to rock suspenders if you're like a prisoner on work release or whatever. You rocking suspenders? So then this dude was just like a sick dude that was out there like getting his paycheck. If you ask, was he getting a paycheck or was he just out there taking care of the community? Maybe.

There was other people with the same color shirts on so unless he was like, "Oh, I got a shirt. Can I come help?" And he cut it to be like different. One of those. Yes. I'm standing out. Yeah. Real attention whore. He's probably there to pick up a freaking nature babes. That's what he was there for. Showing a little belly. This guy. It was gorgeous. Hot nature dudes. It was gorgeous. Did you crash Kyle driving by?

No, I had the Tesla was driving itself. So I was all good. Oh, thank God. Flex on them. Flex on them. Yeah, baby. Let them know the Tesla's driving itself. Sick. You know it. Double click. I think I told you guys, this is my pitch to Tesla when I went and drove one, like just to see what it was all about. I go...

you know what they should call this is a test drive damn dude and the guy was like yeah I don't think so I'm like I think I'd run that one up the flagpole and he was like I don't like it and I'm like you're fucking out of your mind oh good for you did you let him know you're a big time Hollywood writer I said I get paid buku dollars to come up with stuff like this yeah damn and he still didn't run that up the flagpole well he actually said no you don't and I was like I get paid though

I do get paid though sometimes. Sometimes I have been paid. When I got my Tesla, they set it all up and it was like, they put it all under the banner of free Carl. It was very nice of them. There were some young kids that were fans of the show and they were like, thank you, free Carl. And it was like, here's your car. Yeah.

It felt nice, you know? It felt good. I was stoked. We called it Free Carl. I feel like I had to retire my Free Carl shirt, but dang, it'd be nice. Do they still sell them on the internet? I bet you could find that shit on Grailed. Yeah. I started wearing mine after just a year ago because I figured now I can. I didn't think I could do it back in the day, but now I'm like...

I think it's kind of dope if I wear it. It's a good looking shirt. Is that dope or wrong? I think it's dope. What do you guys think? I think that's dope. It's your claim to fame. Okay, thank you. I was at the grocery store rocking it one time and this woman came up to me and she was like, who is that on your shirt? And I was like, oh, it's a friend of mine. She's like, what happened? Is he going to be okay? And I was like,

I didn't have the heart to be like, it's from a TV show lady, you're an idiot. And you know what I mean? Like I didn't want to make her feel like a fool. So then I go, oh no, yeah, he, he, he'll, he'll be okay. And she's like, well, what's the story? I go, I don't, it's not even, I go, it's, it's no big deal. And she goes, well, excuse me for trying to help.

And I was like, fuck. I tried to be, you know, like not be like Lady at the T-shirt from a TV show. Yeah. She had a big heart.

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We should get a Kickstarter or GoFundMe for, to free Carl and just see how much like money, like dumb money we can get and then throw a, uh, a Kyle release or a car release party. Uh,

And have a fucking carnival or something, you know? Bro, I love it when you spitball. Yeah, okay. I don't see anything going on with that. I feel like... Yeah. I love it. You know, with the prison system right now, I think that's a great call just to... Hey, Anders? Yes, Adam? Thank you. And I totally agree. I love it when Adam just like stream of consciousness like gets these great ideas.

That's fantastic. Yeah. And they just come to me. Should we do this? Like, it would be crazy, right? We just ask for money for nothing. Yeah. Why not? Wouldn't that be awesome? And then drink the money away. Yeah. Well, we'll obviously be an open bar, but then we'll have like a dope party for Carl to come out of prison. Prison. And we'll get like a... Prison in quotes. We'll get a blow up...

prison for Kyle to like be stuck in like a bounce house yeah uh-huh exactly now you're thinking and then we get him and then we're like and and we'll like dress up like Eric Griffin as like a judge or something and he'll like bang a gavel and he's like I now sentence you to take a beer bong yeah

Yeah. This is when we all find out that Adam has fallen on some real hard times. I'm trying to embezzle money from the Free Carl Foundation. We should do this crazy thing, guys. I'm having trouble paying my mortgage. It's the dark carnival of the souls, but for workaholics fans, let's do it. Adam McAfee. Let's do it. You know what I was thinking about speaking of prison, because I was watching...

a YouTube video of this old video of a BB King, like playing a show at a prison for like the prisoners and stuff. Do we still do that? Does that still happen? Are there prison comics do right. Adam, a lot of comics perform in prisons, right? Yeah. Uh, I know Jeffrey Ross did a standup special, uh,

at a prison a few years ago where he it was like a roast he did like a roast battle but at prison and he would like roast the warden or whatever that's tight and i yeah people like lost their minds but no i think that happens sometimes it has to be set up and it and it also like i know that the warden has to be okay with it like not every prison is like yeah sure come on in he's got to be a fan

There's just so many cool performances, whether it was Johnny Cash or B.B. King. Yeah, I remember hearing Cheech and Chong would do it, but it just adds such a cool layer to a live album where you know that everyone listening and cheering is in prison for life. It's so strange. It is interesting because it makes you go like,

I never got to go to a concert like this for free, I might add. Yeah, I'm trying to get there. Do they deserve it? But at the same time, it's like, yo, these dudes are fucking locked up. Let's give them something to look forward to. Yeah, that's what I'm like. People that are so angry about people in prison and think like, oh no, they shouldn't have a TV in the commons room or they shouldn't have the small bit of entertainment that they have. It's like, who gives a fuck? Dude, they're in cages. It's bad. They're in cages.

For like 23 hours a day, it sucks. And it's like to have a little silver lining. Yeah. Did we talk about repurposing them? Like actually like going out and fighting fires and doing stuff in the community? Is that something that goes down? Anders, I'm looking at you. Yeah. There are prisoner firefighters. I don't know if that's the technical term, but yeah.

That is the coolest. That is a great news for prisoners. It is cool, but here's what's fucked up is that they have all this experience fighting fires and then when they get out of prison, they are kind of overlooked and not...

seen as somebody who has experience fighting fires. They're just kind of ex-cons. Oh, really? Well, can you not be a ex-con fireman? Is that a rule or is that... No, but I think they're just like, we're going to go with the guy who's not an ex-con. Yeah. Well, that's like where we got to bring back volunteer firefighters and just, you know, get them on that. They still have those. Yeah, they're around. Yeah. Come on. Yeah, I'd like to do this. I would like to become a volunteer firefighter. Oh, then let me just revise something. I think Kyle's going to die first.

In that first fire, he finds... I'm going in! No, you don't have to yet. You don't have to yet. We definitely don't have to run in. We're just going to hose it down from the outside. I'm going in! No, I'm in! I'm already in! I'm fine!

There's nothing in there to save. My long hair! My hair caught on fire! There's a raccoon in there! He's just gonna save a raccoon. I've gotta save the rabbits. Yeah, I don't know. Well, if you were in prison, where do you think you would work?

Cuz don't you you all everybody has to have like a little job like you're you're in the laundry you phone You like so buttons on the pants you make license plates. No, that's a great from Dannemora Little thing where what were they doing making he made like little little pants for his girl. Yeah. Yeah you you like so Zippers on the pants and shit. Yeah, you make little pants make little pants. Oh

Well, no, remember? Yes, I just like how you describe it. You make little pants. It was specific to Dannemora. Escape from Dannemora, if you haven't seen it, it's on Showtime? I believe so. Yeah, Showtime. Ben Stiller directed it. Benicio Del Toro and Paul Dano. And it's fucking awesome. It's such... Patricia Arquette. Is it the best thing?

that came out in the last two years or so. It's so fucking good. I think so. I think so. It was one of the best shows that I've seen. I watched it back. I watched it twice. It was fucking incredible. Yeah. That's cool. I could probably watch it twice. It was captivating the first time. I was like just in it the whole time. It's all set in this prison, Dannemora, and...

Benicio and Paul Dano's characters escape. Spoiler, it's the title of the show. And it's just so well done. It's so well told. Ben Stiller did a fucking awesome job with it. Yeah, true story. And based on a real story, based on real people. Super captivating. Yeah. I thought the performances are just unreal, like best performances I've seen. Do you think you would escape from a prison? Me? Do you think you would have that in you? I would, for sure. Yeah, I would definitely try.

I don't know if I would make it, but I would definitely try. I don't know. I guess it depends. Yeah, I love it. Kyle's like a cool hand Luke. He's like, at least I tried though. At least I tried. I don't know. I might just sell my asshole. Yeah. And stay there? Yeah, just be like really, just be the... That was a quick turn. Yeah. Okay. What would I do in jail? Sell my asshole? Oh, okay. I,

I don't know. That's a lot of work. You got to stay up every night. You're getting no sleep. You have to stay up every night to be digging the tunnel when you could just like, uh, you know, sell your asshole and then get all the cigarettes and you get little candy. Like they'll give you Tic Tacs. You get, I think you're going to sell your asshole. They're taking your asshole. Yeah, no, I'm no, I'm not. They're not taking it. I'm giving it. They're going to keep their Tic Tacs in your asshole.

Their cigarettes, your assholes, their cigarette holder. Yeah, they're going to go, give me your fucking asshole. I'm like, you don't have to take it. It's right here for you for your taking. And they're going to be like, OK, all right. I don't know if you're going to give it up that hard. And I'm like, yeah, well, whoever has the most cigarettes for me to smoke, that gets my sweet puckery butthole. I like your reverse psychology. It's like a cool who wants to be a millionaire like game show. Yeah.

Who's gonna win my butthole tonight? Yeah, I'm running a game show out of the prison. Out of my butthole. Spoiler alert, Adam. They're all gonna fuck your asshole. Yeah, man. Like, everybody wins. Who gets it? Everybody. For five cigarettes. I get it first.

I think if you and I were cellmates, I think we could hatch a plan to escape. I think we could figure it out. Dude, I would make the sickest paper mache us to leave under the covers while we fucking crept out. Yeah, dude. I would definitely go to the library and find a way to talk to the warden and talk about the building and the architecture and get the schematics of the place. I would work that shit. But why do you want to escape when next week Ariana Grande is performing?

Come on. We got a free show next week. See, that would be my job. I'd be concert promoter. That's why we're escaping. Hey, you know what, Blake? That's how we're escaping, actually. Because when everybody's over here looking at Ariana Grande, we're out our motherfucking tunnel that we've been working on for a couple weeks. And you know what? When you guys need to relax and take some time off, you can fuck my asshole.

Man, last night we dug a hole. We dug so much deep hole. I need a little bit more deep hole. Yeah, Kyle's like, Durst, what happened? You were supposed to dig last night. He's like, I don't know, Adam let me fuck him for three cigarettes. Yeah.

I couldn't resist. And I'm over here like, God is a woman. Damn, our prison rocks, dude. We got a pretty dope prison. Dude, I would be drawing hella drawings. That's what I would be doing. I would be giving art away to avoid penetration. Yeah, so can you write my name real quick? Like, cool. Right. I would just draw graffiti of names or pictures of people's children. Gosh.

Say, hey, man. Hell yeah. I feel like I would end up getting so many just dollops of free potatoes that people would want to, like, free mashed potatoes. You're getting dollops. Yeah, because your butt is a bowl. People are going to want to stop fucking my asshole because my ass is going to be too big. They're like, ah, you know what? Your approach to this whole question is just great, man. No, it's never too big.

There's always another dude in jail who's like, actually, I could fit that pretty well. No, they're just going to be putting a straw in your butt and slurping the potatoes out. Or washing the cat. They're just going to wash the cat. This bro got that She-Hulk booty. Yeesh. Yeesh. Do you know She-Hulk over in Cell Block 7? Your name is She-Hulk? That's your name. He's built like a CrossFit girl. Wow.

That is it. I mean, that's the huge thing. You work out so hard to get the body of a CrossFit girl. Then you do some McAfee city takeover scam.

You're put in prison and everyone's like, she looks like a thick ass girl. I'm going to hit that. This is Suicide Squad 2. We just wrote a better movie. We figured it out. We got our next movie. Suicide, but one. Dang, let's do the porno parody. I'm into it. Not escaping from Dannemora. Yes. Staying in. Staying in. Making Dannemora a home. Can't escape. Can't escape. Don't want to escape Dannemora. Don't really want to.

want to hunkering down at Dannemora. Yes, man. I hope with none of us ever go to prison for real, you know, like that would be would be bad. Oh gosh, it's terrifying. I think we're past are going to prison days. I feel, you know, Bill Cosby, right? Yeah, I don't know.

Oh, man. Comedy legend, fucking crazy rapist. Yeah. Well, I don't think any of us are drugging women and fucking men. Yeah, nobody's been doing dirty. Yeah. So I think we're good as far as that. I think we would have, like the 20s would have been the time that we would have drunk drove somewhere and crashed into somebody. The roaring 20s? Yeah, the 1920s. Yeah, you see? Yeah. I'm sober, officer. ABC 123.

Don't you know it's prohibition? I'm taking you to the slammer. I'm in this town. Yeah. Take them downtown. Get in the paddy wagon. You're coming down to the slammer, boy. Yeah. The wild days are over. Yeah, they are. Can we make a bond together right now that if one of us goes to prison, we all go to the same prison? No.

No. Okay. To visit? To like say hi? No, man. We could be cellmates. Are you suggesting that our friendship is the strongest thing on earth so that basically if one of us goes to prison, all of us go to prison? That's what I'm saying, yeah. And I believe that the court of law will uphold that. It's like you get one of us, you get all of us. There's no way I'm signing that. Yeah. And I'll come visit you. I'll put some fucking, I'll put a file in the cake.

If you need it, I'll be. Then you will go to prison with him. Yeah, you might be going to prison. But I got to do something wrong. I ain't going to fucking prison for your wrongs, bro. Bro. You just said you were going to put a file in his cake. Yeah. No, no, I know. But then I'm like, I'm making the choice. Then it's on you. I'm like, I'm okay with that. I'm just not going to sign the document that says if Blake goes to prison, we're all going to prison. So you don't want a soul link with me? No, no. Unbelievable. Let's say if I go to prison and I come out of prison, will you guys be there waiting for me? No.

With an Omaha steak. Yeah. To take me immediately to the hospital. Because my asshole's concaved. Absolutely. Yeah. Where's the prison? Sing Sing. Let's just say it's Oregon. Oregon? No. Beautiful country up there. You're not going to come get me out of prison, Kyle? No.

No. Why not? Oh, man. Why not? Well, what time of year is it? It's, you know, this time it's October. Getting cold. Beautiful. It's getting cold. It's like 30 degrees up there. It's almost freezing. I don't do that well. Well, you know what? At this time, we probably have one of the biggest podcasts in the world. Allegedly. You guys bring a whole audio setup to start the podcast back up again. As soon as I get out of prison, I get out of prison. I go into the van. We fire up the next pod.

Oh, I'm tuning in. How about this? Are you allowed to do a podcast from jail? I'll remote in. Well, you can rap from jail. I actually think you probably could. Yeah, I think that you also can have an Instagram in jail. Yeah, I think it depends where you're in prison. And I feel if one of us is going to prison, it's probably overseas off of some dumb shit. Okay, something called ear hustle, they're saying. Anna just said ear hustle.

is recorded in jails. And that sounds awesome. Yeah, so you'd be able to be recording and giving us live updates. Like buttholes. So here's my question. If one of us went to prison, but we were still able to record this podcast, do you get paid? Or do you have to defer? Mm-hmm.

Well, hey, so I take it back. I don't have to sell my asshole because I'm going to have all the cigarette money I can handle. You're still going to get fucked in the butt. Yeah. You look like a CrossFit woman. It's just insatiable. Yeah. All the prisoners have seen Pitch Perfect. They want to fuck you, dude.

And they're like, please don't stop the music. Please don't stop fucking me, dude. Are ex-felons allowed to have jobs afterwards? Yeah, right? Yes, but I'm saying during. Like, are you allowed to make income while you're in prison? I do believe you do make income. Yeah, you could make, depending on probably the prison, I'm sure you could make money while you're in prison. What about people who are like...

You know, those white collar, like Epstein, who was like, I'm in prison, but I'm leaving six and a half days a week. And I'm there just at night or whatever. He was making money the whole time he was in prison. That's a special case. Yeah. I mean, what? Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I'm just saying, like, what was everyone's got that scenario? Yeah. Well, no, of course not. That's of course, it's a special case. I'm just citing it as an example. Yeah.

Your favorite? Yeah, your favorite example? Excuse me? Jeffrey Epstein? The first one that I could think about and probably the most relatable example that everybody who's listening knows about. Who do you rock with, Jeffrey Epstein or McAfee? No way this goes well. Yeah, no, this is where you plead the fifth. Oh, you gotta rock with the Mac. McAfee's probably a fun guy to fucking kick it with. Epstein seemed like a fucking dweeb. He's a scuzz. Yeah. McAfee seems like a...

Like a wild party boy. Way too tan. You gotta hang out with a guy that's way too tan. Yes. The most hilarious stuff from all that terrible, like, Epstein shit is when they're, like, to his face telling him, like, his dick looks like a little football or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

He's like, as I've said before, do I have to answer this? Amazing. That shit was hilarious. Takes off his microphone. It's like, dude, that's your hot button? That's like the best hidden camera show that you actually know there's a camera there ever. Right. They were like, is it true your dick looks like a Nerf Vornado football? Yeah.

This dude was straight-faced like, what are we doing here? Is it true you have lumpy cum? Oh, lumpy. He's like, I'm going to take my microphone off. I can't handle this. Oh, but you can handle every other question. You've got to roast the dude. You're coming after your weird-shaped dick. You're out of here. You've got to roast him. I think every prisoner or person who's found guilty should have to go through a roasting. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I think that'd be great. Yeah, I mean, shit. It'll clean up the streets. Once they're found guilty, the jury has just been working on fucking slams. Yeah, just ranks. Yeah, okay, before you leave the courtroom, we roast you. We found you guilty on 12 counts. Also, your mom is so fat.

And the jury's like, how fat is she? Yeah. Oh, snap. How fat is she? Jury of your peers. That would be fucking awesome. I feel like Jeff Ross could sell that show. He probably already has tried. I'd watch it. Yeah. It'd be on pay-per-view style or what? Probably on his own independent YouTube channel. Yeah. Yeah. No network. Brought to you by bail bonds and shit. Yeah, exactly. Yep. Guys, I feel like we all...

kind of got along this this app it seems like there wasn't any truly aggressive slam so i don't know if anybody has any take backs apologies or compliments fuck i had when i didn't write it down i would i well adam i'd love to compliment you on your ability to adapt so quickly to prison life it just seems like you would thrive bro so good for you man i'm proud of you

Hey, thank you. Way to make the best of a situation. I also think your high booty would do very well in a prison situation. If we're going by your terms of what doing well means, yes, I think I would be doing very well in prison. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, for those of you at home who don't know, Blake's butt is very high. He's got a high...

He's got a high booty. It's high. It's like royal. It's like a royal horse. It's like a royal horse. Blake, I'd like to compliment you on your high booty as well. I don't know if anybody got a compliment. If Adam already complimented you on it, I wasn't listening. But when you mentioned your butt, I liked it. That's when Kyle perked up.

Yeah. Perked up. And I just like to compliment your butt. And I'd also like to compliment Anders and his ingenuity. Cause I really enjoyed imagining us breaking out of prison. I thought that was cool. Yeah. Yeah. That was fun. Can't wait. Um, I would also, I would like to compliment Durs knowing about, uh, all the CrossFit women knowing which ones were famous, knowing that, uh, they all have like weird, explain the weird last names where they're all named daughter. Yeah. It's the Icelandic thing. Uh,

when your dad's named one thing, or maybe it's because I don't think any of the men have it. So I think if you're the daughter of Sigmund, your last name ends up being Sigmund's daughter. Sigmund's daughter. Wild. Weird. I watch CrossFit because it makes me feel like I've just worked out. I'm like, whew, we're tired. Yeah. We're in better shape already. Good night, guys. Good night, muscles. And then I click the TV off and roll into some pudding. Here we go.

Oh, hell yeah, dude. Yeah, what's my take back today? I had a take back. It's probably something about Kyle. Sorry, bud. Yeah. That's okay. I'm sorry about it. You can take back anything mean you said or anything like that, you know? Sorry about it. Sorry. Yeah, well, I'd say another great episode of This is Important. Yeah.

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