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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on This Is Important... Dude, he's tripping, he's tripping. We should get our naples pierced.
IJ Oda Herbal Essence! I heard there's a scientific thing that when women would smell cool water cologne, they cannot resist. Let's go! Let's go!
This is gonna be a good one. I can already feel it. We're back, bitch. Did you hear that? Did you hear what I played? Play something for us, Scott. Did you hear what I played? Could you hear that? Listen to this. I learned this this morning. This is my son's toy. Okay, well then shut up and play it. I'm gonna go take a shit. I'll see you guys. Ready? Here we go. Please.
Whoa, is that a wizard sea shanty? Motherfucking wizards never die? Wow. Yeah, you got it, Blake. Good job. Dude. Oh, yeah. You played it flawlessly. We don't die. We don't die. We don't die. We don't die. Isn't that sick? Played it flawlessly. That's awesome. Drugs make me cool. Dude, I was playing it on the piano and then like...
My daughter was playing with this and I was like, let me see that. And I was like, it's so easy. Hey, give me your toy. Give me your toy for a second. Daddy needs to play. Go play by the pool. We've talked about how Kyle produced the whole Purple Magic Wizard album for the most part, right?
Oh, yeah. All of it? Did he produce all of it? Well, aside from a critical beat by Snarf, okay? There is a Snarf on the beat. There is Snarf on the beat. Snarf on the beat. We'll see you in Chicago, Snarf. Can't wait to see you. Yes. Yeah. I actually got to send the invites. I got to get the crew out. Yeah, you do. Snarf included. Yeah. And Mad Cobras. Let's get them out there. Let's get them out. Come on.
Also, it's back on Spotify. Kyle went through a bunch of rigmarole to get it back on the Spotify. And I think Wizards, Purple Magic, our wizard friends from another realm that produced one of the greatest all-time albums ever.
And for whatever reason was taken off Spotify, Kyle was able to talk. We don't want to get political. It was political. I don't want to get charged. There was an issue with enchantments, El Toby told me. There was some sort of enchantment issue that we just had to get around. Oh, we were cursed? The album was cursed. Let's go! Yeah, yeah. Please explain. Someone gave the album flowers? Someone cursed it, yeah, in the other world. Damn. And so he was like, well. Mm-hmm.
Let me go on a quest real quick. But the curse is over and we live again. Took him fucking years, actually. It wasn't real quick. Took him a long time. Took him forever. The spell is over and we live again, baby. That's right. That's right. Gargoyle style. Cool. I think. Really cool. That is really cool. Isn't it cool? Yeah. We'll do it live. It's pretty sweet, actually. Yeah. We'll do it live. We'll do it live.
And who knows? Maybe we're going to see the Wizards out on tour. That would be really cool. Do you think they would? Yeah. Let's talk about the second half of dates for a second because we went through the first batch and then we just, a few weeks ago, dropped the second tag.
Half of the tour. The new batch. The new batch. Gremlins, the new batch. So we're going to San Jose, California. That's just two days after my 40th birthday. Are you kidding me? I know it. I might still be drunk. Oh, my God.
Really? I'd be hobbling into that one. San Jose. That's an easy drive. If I could just put something out to the San Jose sharks, if we could get the big shark head that you guys skate out of and we could walk out of that on stage, that would be really cool. Hmm.
San Jose Sharks. Why don't you do all the promo for our tour? Or at least SJ Sharky. If he could come out, that would be really fucking cool. Yeah. We for sure need every mascot for every local sporting team to be out.
We are mascot friendly. You can be in the audience on stage. It's up to you. I think it's fair to throw that. Yeah, we're mascot friendly. We're also furry friendly. So if you want to come, dress as a furry. Oh, furry. Furry. We're furry and Furby. If you want to bring your Furby from childhood. What is a Furby?
You might be. Furby is the little talking thing with the eyes. It had a beak. It had a plastic beak. Dude, when they first came out, they kind of pitched it like it was real AI and you could talk to it and teach it. But it was for sure just pre-programmed with batteries. Yeah. It was the tough item to get at one of those Christmases. They weren't cool. They were like, when we were kids or was it after we were children? It was. I had it. Blake.
Blake probably had one. Blake had one. He was 14. My sister had one. Oh, yeah. You had younger siblings. I had younger siblings. And Adam, you were just fucking stone throwing batteries. I had a younger sibling. I don't remember Furby. Well, Britt didn't want a Furby. Okay. Fair. I don't remember Furbies. I remember them being a thing. I cannot even picture it. It kind of looked like a gremlin. No.
Yeah, they look like Gizmo. Yeah, they look a little bit like a criminal. No, it looked more like a mogwai with a beak. Yeah, Gizmo. I'm sure there was lawsuits out the wazoo, guys. And wazoo also means...
You know what? I don't, but we'll talk later. What does wazoo mean? When you lick the tank. Ooh, and you guys know where that is. Whoa. And then Grand Prairie, Texas at the Texas Trust CU Center. So we did get some Texas dates. Dude, I can't wait to go to Texas. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. Where is Grand Prairie?
Give me a hell yeah. Grand Prairie? I don't know. We're about to find out. Looking it up. We're going to learn and then we're never going to ever not know again. Yep. In one ear, out the other. By the way, before we go to these cities, like morning of, I'm going on Wikipedia. I'm pulling up facts. I'm going to know the population of the town we're in. Okay. So it's in Dallas. So it's outside of Dallas.
Oh, shit. You're really fast. I thought I was going really fast. You got it. Dallas rocks. And for people who are like, why aren't you in Dallas proper? We booked this shit kind of last minute because we need to cram it in and get the fuck out there to see you guys. And some of these venues are taken. Yeah. It's a big suburb of Dallas. I think if you live in the Dallas area, it's easy to get there. Yeah. It's closer to the airport. That's rad. We're actually positioning these all closest to the buzzball distribution centers as we can. Dude.
Because it comes down to how many and how quick. Dude, our merch game is going to be kind of tight. We're going to have some really cool shirts. We got some shirts, baby. Yeah, I'm pretty stoked on that. Yeah, dude. Oh, dude, we just got... So a lot of people used to complain about our old classic...
This is important. Our faces on the T-shirt. But now the resolution is so good. Oh, my God. This shit is fire, dude. I'm not going to commit to anything. And then beyond that, we have other different types of T-shirts. We're going to have a little assortment. Yeah. And different hooded sweatshirts and all kinds of cool shit for you guys to buy. If you want to, you know, TI Nation, stand strong. Absolutely.
I mean, admittedly, it would be kind of cool if you if because some of these are like kind of deep cut podcast reference to just be wearing that out in the world and have another T.I. Nation fans. Oh, yeah. And be like, you immediately know you're going to be friends with that guy. Hey, what's up, my naked grandma? Yeah. And then we're going to mosey on down to Austin. OK, let's get weird. Let's get weird in Austin. I want to go to Austin.
How long are we in Austin for? Because I do want to play some pickleball in Austin. I hear it's great down there. Yes. And also, what about that little surf spot that mentioned us in the DM? Oh, man. Oh, yeah. We got to do that. It looks like we'll have a day off after Dallas. So we could probably go straight to Austin and have a day off in Austin. We do. I do kind of want to hit that wave up. I do want to try that wave. Blake, you have to get that for the soundboard. Oh, yes. That's number one.
Yeah, I want to hit that. There's like an Austin surf spot. I don't know if I still can surf. Holy shit. Oh, dude, we have to do that. I think that would be so fun on our day off just trying to freaking shred Austin. Let's do it. Let's do that. Let's definitely do that. And then like not even do the show. I want that. I want that for you guys. Yeah, maybe we just stay. I want that for you guys. It's in Waco, Texas. Oh, it's in Waco. It's in Waco. So it's probably really, really far away.
Wake up. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know Texas that well, but my guess is that's 33 hours away. That's a 33-hour drive and somehow still in Texas. Yeah. Texas is big, bro. Texas is really big. I'm still going to send it. We're doing two dates in Texas because it's gigantic down there. Texas is big. Is it two or is it three? We might have another. What about Sugar Land? Sugar Land. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's further down. It's further down.
Four? Oh my god! Holy smokes! Remember when everyone was bitching about how we're not going to come to Texas and they were giving us shit? I'm like, just wait, just wait. And people say, don't mess with Texas. We're messing with it. We're messing with Texas. We're messing with a whole bunch. Mess, mess with Texas. Oh, hook them horns. Oh, dude. Waco's on the way to Austin, okay?
It's on the way if you're driving. Oh, okay. Maybe we swing through it. Let's just take ZZ Top's tour and then copy it. Okay.
Okay. I thought that's what we were doing already. We've already planned this one, so we're not going to change it. World Wild Texas Tour, baby. To mimic ZZ Top. But can we spin guitars? Absolutely. We can do whatever we want, dude. They had hella animals, I think, on their tour. Didn't they travel with a ton of fucking animals on their first tour? ZZ Top? Yeah. I think they fucking did. I think they went nuts. Well, I'm mad. I'm a little bummed that we couldn't, just with routing and with scheduling, we couldn't do...
the Carolinas, which I really wanted to go to. North Carolina. Charleston is my home away from home. You've got Carolina on your mind? And we also couldn't do New Orleans, which, you know, being the king of Bacchus parade this year in New Orleans, it was a missed opportunity. I hope they don't revoke my crown, but I will be coming to... Did you not know that I was the Joker of Sugar Land? No.
Yeah, I guess I didn't know that. You didn't know about that? I mean, I don't like to just go on the podcast and talk about my achievements outside of swimming. So, Austin, Texas, what are we going to do there?
In Austin? Pickleball. I'm playing pickleball. In Austin, Blake. I'm looking at Blake. I know that he... We're going to watch Kyle play... I'm not going to watch Kyle play pickleball. No, I just know... You can bet on him now, though. Whoa. Yeah, you can bet on pickleball now. That's big news. I can't move laterally or even walk far distances, so I'm mostly going to be parking my fat ass...
I haven't been to Austin in a while because of COVID and all that. And like South by Southwest, I haven't been in a minute. There's so many good bars on, what is it? Sixth Street, right? Yeah, Sixth Street. Shakespeare's was one of my favorites. I hope it's still around. It's got to be. Well, I just went to that TV festival for the Righteous Gemstones just a couple months ago. ATX? The ATX Fest, yeah. And that's where we premiered season three of Gemstones. And we're going to be there.
We went out that night and we went to like a true honky tonk. Oh, yeah. I don't appreciate that word. I was like, oh, this is tight. Oh, cool. Dude, there's a I think there's a place called though. It might be called the White Horse. It's kind of off the beaten path. White Horse honky tonk. I think that I think that is it. I think that was it. OK, yes. So I went to South by Southwest and it was I went to the Thrasher party. There's this this bar. I think it's called Yellow Jackets. That's has like mixed.
daiquiris and margaritas and shit. I take offense to that. That's super, super sick. And then we went to Whitehorse and it was some of the best fucking country honky-tonk shit I've ever been to. Like, people were dancing. Like, the vibe was fucking cool, dude. Yeah. It was tight. It was like people were like truly... What, like line dancing? Yeah, line dancing, honky-tonk dancing. I would love to get into a line dance. Swing your partner round and round, brother. Oh.
I would love that. And everyone from like, it was cool because it wasn't just 22 year olds or it wasn't just only old people. Yeah. The vibe was, it was a nice mix of like generations of people just throwing down. Yeah. That's sick. And I drank a lot of tequila and drank a lot.
a lone star because you got to, baby. Oh, yeah. Line dancing isn't hard. It's not that hard. Is it hard? I've never done it in like the wild. I think you just got to kind of know the moves and then you can do it. Yeah, it's all about knowing the moves. Can you just look at somebody? You can
You can't just get in line and then that's how it's built, right? What line dancing do you guys know? Nothing. The electric slide. You don't know the electric slide? No. You don't know the electric slide? No, I don't know it. I've been to a few Filipino weddings and they get down on that shit. They get down.
on line dancing? Yes. Filipino weddings go crazy for that shit. So like besides the electric slide, what is another one? I don't know the names. They're all, they all kind of look the same. You just got to watch like the coolest grandma at the party and she will know every move. Well, that's like the whole line. Why is Blake staring at your grandma?
Looking at Lola, baby. Yeah. I know what's happening. Yeah. What I, what I was there, there was this guy that was like teaching women how to line dance. And he kept trying to get me to dance with him to,
To learn line dancing maneuvers with him. Great ass! Did you not? So I fucked him. And that's a bad thing? Isn't that the whole point? Did he get behind you, kind of? Yeah, that's what I'm asking. Did he kind of get it? That's like what I'm asking. Yeah, he did. He was grabbing my hips and trying to show me. Hands on the hips? Yeah. Look at this dude do it. That's what I want to do. That's what I'm wondering. So it's going to be fine if you want to participate in a line dance. I know a guy. I know a guy.
Kyle, if you can grapevine right and you can grapevine left, you're going to be just fine. I can actually do that. You're going to be just fine. I can probably dip, too, but I do not know this electric slide. What the fuck is that? Durs, can you demonstrate? It's electric. Boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie.
Wait, did you guys not go to, I'm the only person who for sure did this. Any wedding? No, well that, but as a teenager, or not teenager, like a middle schooler, we went to this thing where you learned how to do formal dancing and you wore a little blazer and then the girls wore little dresses and you learned how to like. You're from a different world than we are. It's called cotillion, right? Yeah, you're talking about sock hups? Yeah.
It was called... Cotillion. That's like a southern thing, or rich people. They called it Fort Knightly. Fort Knightly? What are you talking about? I truly have no clue. That's some country club shit. We don't know. We're from... I mean, you guys are water trash. I'm a dirt person, so...
This is where I learned electric slide. That's all I'm saying. He's country club chic. You guys are water trash. I'm a dirt person. You'd put on a little navy blazer and some khakis. The girls would wear white gloves. It was tight. It sounds cool. I just want to party. You'd wear aftershave as an 11-year-old. You'd be putting on aftershave and stuff to smell right. What the hell? Okay, that sounds tight. Do you remember when you first... I remember hearing... I think we've covered this.
Hearing that Cool Water cologne had aphrodisiacs in it, and that's what women would, like girls would, they couldn't help themselves if you put some of this. I don't think I knew about aphrodisiac. I just knew that cologne was like the way. Adam's out here breaking the bottle, dipping his dick in it. I just knew when I smelled my dad's cologne, I got horny as fuck. No, I heard it was like a scientific thing. Yeah, I heard it was a scientific thing that like when women...
will smell cool water cologne they cannot resist it's something biological so i doused myself in this shit i was so smelly from like 14 to 17 until i realized uh this is the way it didn't work i can remember taking cologne to like camp and having the little bottle break and all of my fucking clothes just doused yeah brute or whatever it was happened oh
You know what I want to bring back? The first deodorant I ever used was Brut, and I want to start using Brut again because that shit is for men only. Do you see it in the store? It doesn't exist. Dude, I feel like everyone just used what their grandfathers –
We just use what our dads used and our dads used what their dads used. Yeah. So like, and that explains America. My grandfather did old spice. Oh dude, it was speed stick. I had anything else is uncivilized. My grandfather did old spice, but old spice used to be like, your grandpa was a fucking savage, bro. He used old spice. No, it used to be like for old people.
It's Old Spice. It's like this old thing. Really? It was in the title. Did he use Swagger or Phoenix? And then now it's like mine says like Swagger Hound on it or some shit. I know. I'll take that. I love Old Spice Swagger. Yes, sir. Chloe's like, I need to get you down or what kind is it again? And I'm like, it's Old Spice Swagger Hound Pure Sport or whatever. It's Old Spice Butt Naked Touchdown. It's Bon Stella Booyah. Got it. Thank you, God.
Smell-a-bration. Got it. Smell-a-bration. It's the smell-a-bration? Yeah, I mean, they've rebranded. It almost seems like that's the only deodorant. Like, the commercial blitz is intense. Like, if you're a kid, I guess Axe has its moment. But, like, if you're a kid, what else do you even know to buy besides Old Spice based on all the commercials? Yeah, true. What do you guys think? How did they get the branding of Old Spice? So, okay, there's a ship already.
on the logo. So they're saying like they're bringing spices from the, like the old world. Do you think that the first deodorant old spice ever made was like way back in the day made with some like really crazy spices from like, like some actual place before I answer, what do you think? No, I want to hear more. Okay.
Right.
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When did Old Spice start? Because the branding is off the chain. It makes me think it's been around forever. So the history of Old Spice was inspired by his mother, this guy named Schultz. She was an old spicy bitch. His mother had potpourri.
And he named the fragrance Early American Old Spice. Oh. To smell like his mother's potpourri. Well, why is there a ship? The ship makes me think it's spices. Because it's early American. So you think of big ships. When I think early American, I think Model T Ford. You're talking branding versus origin. So that was 1937. So they're thinking, hey, we got to...
Why does that suck? No, he said, is that sus? That's sus. Did you say sus or sucks? That's sus. Why does that sus? I thought Old Spice, they have a ship and it's saying Spice. So what do you think of when you see a ship and Spice? But you're talking about origin versus branding, right? Did it always have a ship on it? I don't know if it had a ship on it in 1937. But even if it did...
Who fucking cares? It's still branding. You know what they're playing, Durrs. You know what they're playing into. Talk to me. Old Spice with the ship. It's like Spice Tray. Because actually I don't. It's Spice Tray. I have no idea why you're planting your flag. Spice Tray? Trade. Trade. He's talking about the Spice Tray.
Blake, yes, they are. But what's the problem with that? But this is from 1937. That's obviously past the spice trade. Yes, it is. Where are we going with this? Dude, he's tripping. He's tripping. He's just getting fake riled up right now. Blake is digging in the crates. No, I'm kind of pissed. Why are you pissed? Because if they're going to call it Swagger Hound...
They're just calling it Swagger Hound now. They're rebranding to get the youth. It's not even Swagger Hound. It's just Swagger. Give me a hell yeah. Go ahead. Unless they're importing the Swagger. Key import swag. Key out port. I can't remember the exact dialogue, but we're called. You're talking workaholics now.
Yes, you are. Oh, man. So initially it was a woman's fragrance. Okay. And then it was a woman's fragrance. It didn't sell that well. It was a woman's fragrance. Then in 1938, they pivoted to men's fragrance. It started to sell a little better. In the mid-century, they started to...
expand and evolve. And they were, it was really starting to sell very well. Then they were bought out by Procter Gamble. They made that big money in 1990 for mucho dinero. Oh yeah. That's when they got me. And then they rebranded again as the man your man could smell like. And I don't even know what that means. That's fucking weird. That's like the dude you want to fuck.
your dude can smell like him. Dude, that's horrible. Wow. The man your man can smell like. I want to fuck him. At least put his deodorant on. Our deodorant smells like Ryan Gosling's dick. So essentially in the 90s, it was for old people. It was like, yeah, this is like...
what grandfathers wear in the 90s. And then in the early, or in the late 2000s, Old Spice underwent a significant rebranding campaign. Oh, yeah. The brand aimed to shed its image as a product for older men and appeal to a new generation. Nucky Grandma! The result was a series of viral marketing campaigns that used humor and absurdity to create buzz.
Believe in your smell. Enter Eric Wareheim. Those were Tim and Eric commercials. Yes, okay. Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim. Timothy Heidecker, you've been Rango'd. By the way, sign me up. I would love to do an Old Spies. I'd love to be a swagger hound for Old Spies. Come on now. Adam's the man that you want to smell like a man of. No, I'm the one that my wife looks at someone else and be like, I wish I could fart.
fuck him. And I'll be like, you can't, but you can smell me while you fuck me. And then I'll smother this on me. Just rub deodorant all over your nuts? Put your face in my armpit while I rail you. It's so cool to have a peek behind the curtain of your marriage, Adam. Thank you for being vulnerable. And with all that said, I'm switching to Brute. I'm sorry. I'm going back. I'm sorry, Mom. I was a Brute guy because my dad was a Brute guy. And then I think that Brute was the
thing old spice just got me and old spice smells really good and now you can't find brute i guarantee you the old spice people were like we need to take brute out old spice should make a flavor called brute and it should smell like brute and it should be in in green i bet that that sounds lawsuit city is brute even in who made brute polo if brute's if brute's not a thing if brute's not around if brute's not on the shelves anymore then it's free game
Okay. What was on the thing for Brute, though, Blake? Are you cool with them? By the way, what are you talking about? Like, it's got to have the thing from the stuff. Yeah, Brute is for sure for sale. Polo had a Polo player on its shirt, but, like, I don't know if people were playing Polo. But this is what I was saying. Because Brute was green and square. Polo was green and square. It still is. It's for sale right now. You can buy it at Amazon, Rite Aid, Target.
What, you can get Brute deodorant? In a cylinder or a roll-on or what? Yeah, you could get it in all different sizes. Awesome. Yeah, awesome. I'm trying to let you guys in on my mind here. Like, Brute and Polo, they were both the same green. They still are. Are we getting Brute tonight together? Should we meet in West Hollywood and get some Brute? I'm like an Arm & Hammer guy. I would do some Brute, bro.
You're an Arm & Hammer guy? Because you're like a stinky old refrigerator. Yeah, you're an Arm & Hammer. You use Arm & Hammer deodorant. It's like a white body with a yellow head. It's like baking soda. Arm & Hammer? Wait, you use Arm & Hammer? It eats the odors. Odor eating Arm & Hammer deodorant. It eats them alive. It ties up your armpit sweat and fucking bangs it and eats it. Oh my god. It eats its heart, yeah.
I feel like I watched that documentary on Disney, so it's got to be real. What documentary? The Armie Hammer one. On Disney? What sucks is he was a big workaholic. No, that's not what sucks. That's part of it. No, that's the worst part. I watched the whole documentary. Did you? I doubt you did. Comedy bridges a lot of things, man. That's in the documentary? There's a whole chapter of
him and Wayman. Yeah, I was like, I was sick. I was like, oh, he's a big work Ox fan. We should work with him again. And then he is, then his text talks about like eating girls and wants to like fillet them and shit. Yeah, he's like, dude, by the way, did you see Ders Comes in Handy? I'd love to try that. Allegedly. The crazy part about that documentary, the Arm and Hammer documentary,
documentary was like his grandfather was a Russian spy and was like... That's why you took away. I mean, did you watch it? Did you watch the whole thing? Yes, I did. Of course. Yeah, it was cool. It was cool. His history of his family was like wild. Yes, insane. They were all vampires. They were vampires? His grandfather was a Russian spy that rolled with Reagan. He was like Reagan's homeboy and he'd go to the White House and visit him and shit. Cold War era. And he...
All of his phones were tapped. So he would like get these guys. And I'm not saying if he had Reagan in his pocket, but his thing was extortion. And he would get people to say things on his tap phone and then would extort them and say, well, you have to do what I want because I have your voice saying trickle down a little trickle down. Yeah.
It's an interesting family. I'll stream it. And by the way, I was like, my grandpa didn't do shit. My grandpa wore Brute. My grandpa should have been extorting more people. My grandpa was just like a mailman. I'm like, you didn't extort anybody, dude. The mailman. I think I'm ready to go to Brute. I'm looking at
all these different kinds of Brut you can get. It's good stuff out there. I'm going for it. It does smell like a barbershop, right? I can't remember. That kind of... I used to wear it to junior high and I never got one compliment from a girl. As soon as I switched to Old Spice, chicks were like, you have swagger. Old Spice is a better...
Are you a swagger hound? Wait, really? Do you remember when you started smelling girls? Stop. When they would start rocking. What? Stop. When girls started rocking herbal essences and it was like the most super fragrant. Do you remember the commercials? Yeah, of course. Of course. Where they're like this. The commercials were epic, dude.
Oh, yeah. That got me riled. I used to J-O to herbal essence commercials. I bet you did. Blake didn't. I jerked off pretty predominantly to porno. Blake, I guarantee you, was jerking off to all things non-porno. Oh, yeah. Herbal essence commercials. I've got 30 seconds to. He takes a girl's sweater and steals it real quick. Yeah, well, you could take the herbal essence commercial. You could think about it and run in the bathroom real quick. Yeah.
No, this was like in the day of VCR. You could hit record real quick, get the end of the chamomile fucking herbal essence. A lot of work. You just rewind that shit when they're going, uh,
Oh, you did have a VCR in your room and you could do that shit. He's not joking. I'm not kidding. He did have this technology. Holy shit. IJ Oda herbal essence. My point was in that era, if you sat behind somebody who used herbal essences like in class, go off.
It was like what girls smelled like for like six years. There wasn't like another smell. Well, Bath and Body Works was my generation. That's what every girl smelled like, Bath and Body Works. And I, truthfully, hated it. Don't even know it. Like shit. It sucked. It was way too flagrant. Fragrant? Way too fragrant. Fragrant. My man's talking about fragrances. Fragrant.
Re-fragrant. Did I say flagrant? Yeah. I said fragrant. It's the same word. It isn't. Those are two different words. You said flagrant. Okay. Shout out to Sean Clements' podcast, Flagrant Ones.
Kyle definitely froze in the weirdest look. Chunkin'. I'll take a picture of that. Kyle looks at... Oh! He's gone. He's gone. God damn it. Chunkin'. Yeah, it smells strong, but that's kind of what you want when you're in middle school. It was too much for me. I remember I asked my girlfriend to not use it. I'm like, it's too much. You were the first person to say, can you not?
Yeah. I was like, this is just wash up. Can you not? I feel like Bed Bath & Beyond was like the same era as like, what was it? Not Bed Bath & Beyond. You're thinking of Bath & Body Works. Bath & Body Works. That's a different. Bath & Body Works. Blake's. All the girls from his high school smelled like fucking bath mats and electric toothbrushes. Yeah, just comforters. Cutting boards. Pillows. No doubt. What was the candle shop that used to go on?
Yankee candles. Yeah, Yankee candles. I feel like those were twin mall stores. What is that? It was just a candle shop. I feel like we hung out in a lot more malls than you did. It was a lot of hanging out in malls. I was in the streets. You were spray painting things. I was in the streets. The streets of the country club. The well manicured. Very well paved. Well manicured lawns.
No. A lot of speed bumps. Slow down. A lot of tiki torches. Portland, Oregon. That's where we're heading after Austin, Texas. I got some family there. Portland. I mean, maybe we leave the deodorant at home because Portland can get kind of stanky. That's what I like about Portland. It gets a little funky. Yeah. They need some brute. Yeah. Funk to the funk. I love Portland. I haven't been in Portland in a while.
wild. And those are dueling keep Austin weird, keep Portland weird cities. Who was first? Yeah, we got to see who's the weirdest. Who's the weirdest? Yes, I would like to go and then we will be the judge. Who claimed weird first? That's the question. I think Austin did. I was going to say it's got to be Austin. I thought Portland. But Oregon is already a little kooky out there. Kind of weird. Whereas like Austin is like the weird part of
quote-unquote weird part of Texas, you know? But Portland is the same vibe where they're like, well, what are we saying weird? Like liberal in a also kind of conservative state. It's just keep Austin liberal. I mean, that's what it is, right? Yeah, that's essentially. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little more accepting.
Yeah. It's like, cool. You want to pierce those? Come on in here. Let's go. Weird is just acceptance. That's what's cool about weird. It just means you accept people. It's just like girls with septums. What do they call that? Septum? Deviated septums? With the...
piercing right there. I feel like every girl in Austin and Portland has one of those. Has a septum. And that's what keeping it weird is. It's just having the nose piercing. That's all it takes. Maybe, dude, while we're there, I know Kyle's not here to speak for himself, but he should definitely get that piercing. A septum piercing.
The centaur? Or not the centaur. What's the fucking bull ring? The minotaur? Do we all get that for the Austin-Portland run and then we can just take them out? I love that idea. When you go first, I'll be right behind you potentially. How quickly does it heal up? Because I do not
want a hole in my nose never no you never you always have a thing there yeah because think of all the dudes who do like massive amounts of coke and their septum just like dissipates just disintegrates some blake okay just i think that's a major thing about coke dudes who do a ton of coke is the middle of your nose your septum you're right it disappears it could be a women too hey or then there's anyone could do tons of coke blake
any human being keep it Austin weird yeah but so that heel it doesn't it's not like your ear where the hole will close up after after a while it doesn't but even then it doesn't fully that's a bummer it still looks like you had like a zit that you popped that turned into a scar like when someone has like a nose piercing but it's like fully up in your nose right I don't want it on the outside I'm talking about
the bull ring. Yeah, that shit is sick, dude. If you do that, I will be so hyped on you. I think we all need to. I'm not going to be the, I don't like it. I think it's dumb. Well, you go first. You go first. A big old door knocker. You first. I will go first if you...
Inspire me. Kyle's second. I'll go first if you guys promise to also go. I'll go as soon as you go first. Kyle goes second. Then I'll go third. Jurors go. And then I'll last. Or nipple piercings. Either we all get... We have to get some kind of piercing. Oh, in Austin, we're pierced. I feel like, dude...
I feel Kyle is going to be come back fully pierced. He's, you know, he's going to have two nipple piercing. He's going to have a tongue ring. Just bored out of his mind. Yeah. Tongue ring at the, cause we're going to be drinking at night and Kyle doesn't drink. And so he's just going to be getting more and more piercings. He's just fully tatted. So that's Portland, Portland. We're getting piercings. I hope that. And then we go.
to the beautiful Paramount Theater. And I looked up this theater in Oakland, California. It is beautiful, dude. That is a pretty, pretty theater. Yeah. And we just talked about Oakland the other day. It's got a real swagger. Oh, I'm very excited. This is the way. Yeah, real swagger. You looking for some spices that are old? There's some old spice there, pal.
Yeah, and that's up to our Bay Area boys to help us sell that bad bitch out. We are Bay Area. Oh, yeah, no problem. Trust me, there's going to be a lot of people from Clayton Valley there representing. Come on, let's go. I like it. And also my mother and my stepdad and Leilani from my mom's work. I want people that went to high school with you to come out. We're going to do questions to the crowd kind of thing where you can write a question and
we'll read it at the on stage. I want people that went to high school with you to just not even ask questions, but just to tell me how, yeah, how you really were, what I really remember. That's also what I want. I feel like let's do that in Chicago. Let's do that in Oakland. And then let's do that in Omaha. No one from my high school was coming out to see me, but I love the idea. Yeah.
What I really remember is the way he smelled like my grandpa with his brute deodorant and polo cologne. Yeah, I want that. Yeah, I'm sure. People who went to high school have sent some cards up that say this guy did with this and that. Yeah. Oakland's going to be crazy. They're just all going to talk about like, yeah, he was like, he had really fucked up teeth. He had like giant thick glasses. He had a major glow up after that.
after high school. Now he's hot AF, baby. I guess that's fine. Yeah. And now you're hot as fuck, dude. Now you're the hottest one out of all of us, guaranteed. I'm actually really cold. The AC is blasting in this room. So Oakland, and then we mosey on down to beautiful, sunny San Diego at the Civic Theater, the beautiful Civic Theater.
theater and San Diego is always a good time dude we always throw down always we've done it we should we dress up like Marvel characters like it's comic-con or what what should we do that's a great idea you go first Adam will go third I feel like that might endear me to the Marvel that's true you guys have beef yeah
I had a real dust up with Marvel where I, it was sort of taken out of context about me saying that they ruined comedies, blah, blah, blah, blah. How could that be taken out of context? I stand by what I said. I stand by what I said, but, uh, you know, they get, those Marvel fans get real riled up. So I am going to dress as, uh,
What's a good Marvel character to dress as? I don't know. The Thing. We'll dress up like Fantastic Four. I feel like I'm The Thing for sure. Thing or Puck? Which one's Puck? He was on Alpha Flight. He's really cool. Real World San Francisco. Oh, yeah. Real World San Francisco. Yeah, and also Real World. He dressed up like MTV Real World. Was Puck the one that slapped that girl? No, that was Seattle. That was Real World Seattle. Remember? But then it turns out...
Sorry, was she bipolar? No, Puck didn't slap anybody. He put his finger in the peanut butter. In the peanut butter after he picked his nose. And then told them to go die. He was like, you've got AIDS. Why don't you go die? And then he was like... How cool is it that reality TV was so new at that point that all of us were watching the exact same show and can remember dumb little things from... But you know what also was weird? It was like the first time you were introduced to gay people like...
on your TV, like being gay, living like truthfully, like out loud. I had one strutting around the house, but yeah, for sure. Yes. I did. I didn't have a gay brother, but yes, you had a gay bro. Just a lot of Madonna coming from the third floor.
But it was like, oh, shit, this is fucking cool. It was a great introduction to all walks of life. That's why real world was fucking cool. It was the real world, baby. I'm not gay, but my girlfriend is. That's a really deep cut. I don't remember. Very shagadelic. By the way, I read some comments on our – I was watching Family Feud, our little clip of it. And I read some of the comments, and every girl was like –
Durs' brother is the hottest. Oh my God, he's so fucking hot. So if you ever wants to jump ship and try to fuck girls for a while, I think he would have a legion, a legion of ladies. I think that's how it works for a lot of gay guys. Yeah. I think a lot of gay guys are found attractive by women. It's the swagger. Dang, that's cool. They got swagger and they hound it. That's cool. Lucky. Yeah, well, that's what it is, is they know that they're not going to fuck them so they can throw out that, they can hound all that swagger. That Jeremy, Jeremy,
S and white. What is his name? Alan white. Just say the bear guy. Jeremy Allen. Why? Yeah. Yeah. The bear guy. Yeah.
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I have a way to make your morning more efficient. You can get caught up on the news in about seven minutes. That is my promise to you as the host of the seven podcast from the Washington Post. And in that time, I will run down seven stories, everything from the most important headlines to fascinating new information you might miss otherwise.
My name's Hannah Jewell. Go follow The 7 right now, wherever you're listening, and we will get you caught up. Okay, so San Antonio, Texas. Oh, damn. Spur me, baby. I don't know if I've spent too much time in San Antonio. I don't think I've spent a lot of time in San Antonio. I've never been. We gotta go. I wanna go the Riverwalk. Oh, I have been to San Antonio, and I did walk the Riverwalk, now that you mention it. Is it cool? Okay, let's go. Okay.
So walk along the river. It's a pretty cool. Yeah. I wish we had something like that in Los Angeles. That was a little bit more central. Outdoorsy. Yeah. Well, cause we do have the beach, but that it's so one side of the city. That's why you got to move here, buddy. Yeah. Move over to the beach. Uh, it's such as fucking zoo though. Yeah. Yeah. True. Uh, you know, and then, and then all of our parks in LA, like running Canyon is just covered in,
dog shit. Yeah. It smells like dog piss so bad. Oh yeah. Just every dog in the city just goes there to take just giant dumps and then no one picks it up. I love it. Blake likes it. We need a river walk. San Antonio we're coming to you baby.
In Sugarland, Texas. Is that right? Sugarland. Sugarland. Sugarland. Brought to you by Sugarland. What's her last name? Sugarland Beard? Yep. Who was in Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. A very funny actress. Game Over Man. And also in Game Over Man. That is correct. And also in the package. Yeah, so we're outside of Houston, Texas. So Sugarland is essentially Houston, Texas. Oh, I can't wait, dude. If we don't go to the fucking...
screwed up click like DJ screw store that's gonna be so yeah candy paint dripping trunks waving so if we don't that's gonna be so cool or do you want to go there no we have to go we know we have to go we have to go to screwed up records that would be so insane for me and do we get as a special guest do we try to reach out to Kelly Rowland and Beyonce and try to get them to reunite and the other one I say we aim for them and we land on riffraff or somebody else from Houston right oh
I don't think Riff Raff lives in Houston anymore. No, he's a Vegas boy. But he's from Houston, no? Yes, he is. Seems like he should be. I watched Red Rocket the other night. Did we talk about that? I had not seen it. It was a good movie. I really liked it. Red Rocket was the Simon Rex movie. Just when you thought we were done talking about Simon Rex. Yeah, we never are. And then we're in Huntington, New York. And I think that's a little upstate. Is that correct? Yeah.
Hey, your guess is for sure better than mine. I like none of us have looked up any of this. That's the thing about this tour for us. Whoa, one of our producers, if I may, one of our producers just said, Riff Raff went to my high school. Yes, ha ha. I don't understand the ha ha. I don't know what's funny. That's very cool. I bet there's a lot of stories about that guy. Was he at high school with you at the same time? I doubt it. I think he's probably 10 years older. I think he's a lot older. But what is the legend? What is the legend?
Oh, Long Island. Okay, that's right there. Huntington, New York is in Long Island. We're very, very excited about Long Island. Home de la Soul. Yes. It's going to go off, baby. Strong Island is what a lot of people say. And Becca, our producer, saying that he wasn't in school at the same time, but he is beloved. So, yeah, obviously. Okay. For sure. Let's get Raph out there.
Then we're going to New York, New Jersey, which I haven't really thrown down in Newark before. I would love to get my Newark on. Get your Sopranos on? Hell yeah. Yeah. Is that where Sopranos took place? Yeah, I think so. Am I crazy? Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, just right across. Okay, let's all wear suits. And we got to get to the bottom of Newark. Newark. Because like...
what's going on? Like, obviously New York is right there. Yeah, what is it? And was somebody like, this is better. I'm going to start calling it Newark. And they were like, good luck with that. Or if like someone just misspoke and they're like, yeah, I'm from Newark. And they're like, Newark? And they're like, yeah. Yeah.
fuck, I meant to say New York. And then they're like, well, this is what the city's called now. Too late. We wrote it down. Ben Franklin wrote it down. It's over. It's things like these that drive me crazy. Where like, it's suddenly nuts. Now we have to call this place Newark. Like people still say Indians about people like indigenous peoples of North America. Very similar. The basis of that is that a dumbass thought he was going to India. Yeah.
landed here in North America and was like, these are Indians now. And we still say that. I will say that that's 100% what's happening with Newark, New Jersey. That is 100% the exact same thing. What I'm saying is, where does it come from? It's actually the same guy. It's Christopher Columbus. He fucking stopped in Newark. He's like, I think I'm in New York. That guy was a fucking maniac.
moron dude what's happening Christopher Columbus fuck you like a bozo okay wow so Blake's gonna be eaten alive yeah I know fuck him strong strong take I'm sorry I love Italian people is he Spanish and then we're going to New York
New York, New York City. New York City at the beautiful Beacon Theater. That's a big bad bitch. I'm really excited for New York. That's going to be a bang. I've heard things about that one. Yes, sir. Yeah. We've had great times in New York together. I'm excited to probably have a really great dinner, probably go out that night. What's the hit up? Some cool dive bars. I like Josie's is a cool dive bar.
I feel like that show is going to be like just Kyle doing an Alicia Keys set where it's just Kyle and a piano. And then we're kind of like in the background a little bit, but it's just Kyle just playing his heart out. Well, Blake, we do want to sell tickets. It's not going to be that. Yeah, it won't be that.
We want people to show up. If you're listening and you're concerned. I think it's going to be Kyle in a piano. Isn't Blake funny? Just laying his heart out and we're going to kind of. Very funny. Admittedly, that Alicia Keys song rocks.
Wow, dude. That's her and Jay-Z, right? Yes. And then Kyle's going to do that song. He's going to do Rihanna. Run this town. Like Kyle. That's Kyle's night. So. Okay. All right. Well, I might. I might. Up top. To be there. And I think you're going to be there. And.
and Ders is going to be there. But it might be a lot of Kyle and Piano. It could be. I might even say it can't be. It could be, or it could be kind of what you expect with the podcast. Mostly us talking about our buttholes. I don't know if we're going to take a departure for the New York show. But also,
Also might be Kyle in a piano. It could be Kyle inside of the piano after playing half of a song. Man, you stupid. Maybe that's Newark. I don't know, but show up and see if it's just Kyle and a piano. Well, let's see. Maybe we save that for Ben Salem.
PA. I like every... Like, Ben Salem. I feel like there's a bunch of towns... That's Philly. That's basically Philly. Is that right? Is that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like our Philly date. I got some family that told me that they're like, this is what you think Philadelphia was. And I was like...
I don't know. We're just going on the road. Wow, dude. I don't know what to tell you. Also, people think that we chose each city. How we chose. Oh, no. I chose Bensalem. How we chose the venues or the places that we were going to is these are the places with the highest concentration of TII Nation listeners.
for sure. Really? Absolutely. So this is how they booked it is they looked at the list of where our biggest markets are and they're like, okay, we'll book shows there. And that's why we can't help it if we're suburban commandos. So if you are like, why aren't you coming to Florida? What the fuck are
There's not enough people that listen to the podcast in Florida. You guys are on some other shit. That's crazy because I have so much love for Florida. The fact that they don't listen, I'm a little pissed. They don't love you. That's fucked up. I think it's pretty resound. They don't love you. Favorite city in Florida. Naples, Florida. Where are you? Please shout me out. Nice Naples. We should get our Naples pierced. We would have to. And also Key West, Florida. I would love to.
love to do a key west date that would be i would love to do key west yeah key west seems like it's a very cool place to just uh maybe go missing i've been it's it's great it's a great time yeah that's for sure what would happen there one of us would never come back oh it's an amazing time where did he go well he died and then we find out it's just kyle's on a ship he has a pet parrot
He somehow is missing an eye. He's Captain Ron. It's science. He would love it there. Then we're going to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Oh, dang. The Oklahomies tap in, please. Yeah. I've been to Tulsa. There's a very good steakhouse. I cannot remember the name of it. I wish it would come to me. Tulsi's. We're going to eat a lot of steak. We're going to eat a lot of steak. Pupulsa!
I've been there once and it was, uh, one of the best steakhouses I've ever been to. And I hope it comes to me. I eat so much red meat. Do you meet the cow? Do you meet the cow before you eat it? Oh yeah. We're going to give him a little kiss. Uh, yes. You go out into a field, you meet it, you look at it in its eyes and say, I shall eat your haunch. Kyle rides it. Uh huh. He's crying. Uh huh. Uh,
And then also we're on a real steak run here because after that, Kansas City, Missouri, where every relative that I have is going to be at that show and the next show, which is Omaha, Nebraska. And I'm going to have like at least 100 people. Well, hey, let's not skip over Kansas City too much because I know Sean Malto and his friends are going to come out that way. Come on.
I love that. Oh, really? Wait, he's, is he going to be out there? Dude, he makes the pilgrimage all the time. Okay. That's the way to go. I love that. He has to come. And if he does come, we have to demand that he comes on stage and do skateboard tricks. Oh, he has to. John Malto, very famous skateboarder, very cool, fun guy. Uh,
I feel like we need to put him to work and have him. Oh yeah. Maybe we build a little ramp and he, yeah, let's do a little demo. He does some stunts. Alt pitch. He, he, he does a stunt and then he hands a skateboard to Blake and Blake does a stunt. Wait, alt pitch. We bring a piano out and Sean Malto just plays piano and like kind of just like, okay. I thought we were saving that for Newark or New York. Well,
I just feel like at every stop there should be a piano and someone should just really play. And this is why everyone's got to come out because you never know what we're going to do. We are going to be doing some, some, as Adam would say, fragrant shit. Uh, uh, each show it's going to be hot. It's going to be different. It's going to be fun. Your gum wants it. And it's going to be a lot of piano. That is what I said. I said, fragrant. I know, but I used it wrong in this context. Uh,
Blake is going to be all Gallaghered out, smashing watermelons at least once. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. The fun part will be like every city we go to is just finding like a one weird fun thing to just do to make it a little different, to make it stand out. Most of the time it's kissing each other and then pulling our wieners out. A lot of times it's just us three-way kissing each other. And pianos. We got to do one in a cold plunge for an hour and whoever dies loses. Yeah.
That's not a bad idea. I bet I would... I bet I'd be the one to stay the longest and then immediately have to go to the hospital because I cannot warm back up. I got a feeling that Kyle just would be like, it's not cold to me. He's a corpse. He's a corpse. He would just like sit in it and go... No, because he got in my cold plunge and he was a big old bitch about it. A real bitch about it? Yeah, he was a bitch about it. Oh, really? When you're a bitch about something... You were there, Blake. You were...
You don't remember that? Oh, that was before the Irvine show. That was blackout. Well, why don't you cry about it? Okay. This is... Makes a lot of sense. ...news to me. And then we're going to... I call it a... Wait, wait. Adam, are we going to your... Is there...
Are you taking me to your childhood home or at least outside of it in Omaha? Are we doing a little tour of the town? Yeah, we for sure could do all that stuff. And I'll take you guys to some good food places. I want to see the window that someone, some girl jumped out of. Uh-huh.
These stories I've heard. That isn't my house. That is my friend's house. I want to go there and drive out that window. If I can remember where it is exactly, I'll drive past it. You're going to be like, oh, this is when I went to Blake and Kyle's hometown, Clayton. Conquered. Sorry, Conquered.
Who was it, Clayton? Concord. Clayton and Concord are like right next to each other, right? Yes, very close. But we are Concord. We claim Concord. Concord. Yeah, so when I visited them in Concord, I was like, oh, we grew up in the exact same town. It's just like suburbs. It's just suburbs. Suburban America.
Where I was like, oh, we did the exact same. That's why we get along so well. And I think we clicked initially as we literally, it's the same restaurants, the same town. Quiznos. Was your mailbox at the street or on the house? The street. Jesus Christ. Unbelievable. Why does that blow your mind?
Yeah. It's just a different world. Yeah, it is. It is a little different. There's something different about walking out to get that mail as opposed to just opening your front door and grabbing it right off the wall there. You're right. You're absolutely right. It's a miracle we get along. Yeah, so that's the tour, baby. That's the tour? Wait, what about Seattle? Did we already say that one? Or that was last? Well, we did that on the first batch of dates. Wow, that's an insane...
Yeah, we're doing a lot of shows. Some would say too much. A lot of say, yeah, our wives and girlfriends say too much, but seems like a lot. Well, I think we have to get it in because I truly don't think there will ever be a time when we'll all be available to do it again. And who knows? Maybe, you know, the strike ends and someone has to go back to work.
And, you know, it's three of us. But I truly think that this will be the time that all four of us can get on the road and be together and do a string of shows, which will be really, really fun. Yeah, I'm actually... Yes, I'm very excited. And it's going to be a blast to meet...
the fans of all different shapes, sizes, smells. It's crazy. Dude, it's crazy. I cannot wait to meet... Just go across country and fucking meet fans that maybe have been rocking with us for like 20 years. Who's our guy from YouTube?
Who's our guy? What the hell? I can't summon it right now. What do you mean? Remember the one dude who had like a handle that we all... He would always... Hash? He would comment on every YouTube video and he's been with us the whole time. Adam, you know it. You know it. That is cool because I've done stand-up tours and so this is going to be your guys' first time on a proper tour. And it is really cool to meet some of these fans and...
That have been fucking with us since the mail order comedy days. They're like, watched our videos and stuff. And then to see us progress and then do Workaholics and then kind of fail miserably right after that? Yeah. And...
loose sort of like our career sort of this allow and then now they get to support us and be like we need to prop these guys up these guys are sad it's gonna be so cool dude yeah I just hope I mean I'm gonna give lots of hugs I hope there's is open to it as well yeah for sure we're all gonna catch new COVID what are we talking about we did we did this I know we did this in Orange County it was great we took all the the selfies and had the fun and uh
Yeah, it was amazing. I cannot wait to see how much COVID we get. Is it over or under two of us get COVID? We're all going to get it, but then I would prefer to get it in this first weekend out, and then we're just set for the rest of the tour. And then you're good. Yeah, and then you're just banging out. Yeah, smart. Which is weird for me to say, because I'm like, does it exist? Did it never? Yeah.
Who cares? It's the Hawks. Well, any tape backs, any apologies? It seems like Kyle gave up. He definitely did. He chunked out and then-
look at this text he texted uh i have a huge internet project happening over here and very possible the workers might have that's what happened to me hey maybe we don't schedule these things at the same time yeah well yeah an internet project when we're doing the that you can't schedule it for a day that we're not doing the uh or or we say we don't do the podcast today yeah well there's miscommunications i want to apologize to the guy from youtube when
When we were in our mail or our comedy days. What the hell is his name? It was like a bash or cash or you can't remember your name, but you've been there since day one. And we salute our shorts to you. And I hope we see you.
And I would like to sort of epic slam you guys for not bringing up my sick beard. The first time I've ever grown my facial hair out and not one mention, not one mention of it. Honestly, Adam, this is a week. You're calling that a beard. This is just as much as your beard. I don't call mine a beard. What do you call that thing? It's just kind of like, you know, like a stubble. Facial growth?
Yeah, so this is a weak and some change. Not the strongest beard you've ever seen, but, you know, it's not...
It's not nothing. No, it looks great, actually. I wish you would keep it growing. I'm glad we covered it. I just wanted to cover it because then next time you see me, I could have shaved this thing. I don't know. Is this a tour beard? There's a good chance. Is this a tour beard? Do I keep it? Well, ZZ Top, what if we all grow our beards really long? Don't tell Kyle and we have like really long beards and then he's out there like playing the piano and we have big beards. I don't know about that piano, but yeah, maybe. Huh.
You know, Kyle can't really play the piano. You think he's out tickling the ivories. He knows like three songs. He'll learn it. He'll learn it. There's only one way to find out, and that is to wheel a piano out during the live shows and let him tinkle around. Tinkle those ivories. Yeah, baby. When we come on tour with this! This! This!
Portland, Seattle. Fucking excited. St. Louis. Man, this shit's going to be fire.
So I have some big news for vegans and vegetarians everywhere. It's Hellman's plant-based mayo spread and dressing. Made for people with a plant-based diet or anyone really who wants to enjoy the great taste of Hellman's real without the eggs. Hellman's plant-based is perfect for sandwiches, salads, veggie burgers, or any of your family favorites.
To celebrate, Hellman's is sharing some easy, delicious plant-based recipes at Hellmans.com. Hellman's plant-based mayo spread and dressing. Same great taste, plant-based. Starbucks Iced Apple Crisp Oat Milk Shaken Espresso. Made with blonde espresso, creamy oat milk, and spiced apple flavors. It's an icy crisp sip you can enjoy all autumn long. Order ahead on the Starbucks app.
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