Ep 18: Blake's December To Remember
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How could you go wrong? And yes, you could find a ton of recipes on the Philadelphia website. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously the most important shit in the whole freaking universe.

Today we talk about... Back in the day, when resources were thin, you're watching Nick at night, you gotta do what you gotta do. I deserve to be more drunk. I wish I was like six. I wish I was double the amount of drinks deep. Cut your fucking hair. Why are you afraid to cut your hair, you bitch? I'm not gonna kink shame you, but you like to jerk off the...

Here we go. Start your engines. It's a hot one. It's a hot take. Well, Kyle's internet is, what is it doing, Kyle? My internet's chunking right now. It's just chunking like a moa. Oh, I love that. What's chunking mean? We all know that classic internet term. Did you hear that or is it chunking too hard?

When your internet chunks, get VPN. It is chunking because this is, we're not working right now. Everyone's kind of chunking over each other. We're chunking a little bit. I feel a little chunky. Oh, man. Especially this holiday season, I'm feeling chunky. Yeah, how's everybody's post-Thanksgiving chunk coming? Uh,

You know what? I was afraid to do a pre and post like that day because remember when I would visit you, Kyle, I would gain like 10 plus pounds over Thanksgiving. Yep. You hold the record. Oh, you were afraid to do a weigh-in before. I was afraid to do the weigh-in just by myself because now I'm – when I was doing it with Kyle, I'm what, 23, 24 years old. Right.

It's fun. It's funny. That's a young man chunk. You can put on the chunk, then you can easily lose the chunk. Now I'm afraid this boy's not losing the chunk. This boy has turned into a man, boys to men, and I...

I won't be able to lose a chunk. So I just weighed myself this morning, and I am up just a couple LBs, like almost three LBs. That's not bad. I can lose that LBs, but I didn't weigh in the day of. Well, you know what they say, a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. They do say that. That's what I heard. That's the saying I heard. I've never heard that. That's cool. Really? No, people say that. No, I'm not saying they haven't.

But also, like, just don't be a fucking lazy ass, dude. That's if you eat and then you just never work out. You never do anything. You're not active. I think by the time we're at 40 on this pod, we're going to have just a sick little string of Adam's workout tips and body dysmorphia. Dude, I'm fitness inspo. Oh.

Yeah, I have noticed you're leaning into that.

Uh, and, um, that's, that's sort of my life. So if you're sick of the rock and his dope ass gym and him like saying, I don't got time to bleed and all kinds of cool catchphrases. Uh, and if you're sick of that, come over to me. I have minimal catchphrases. I don't really know what I'm doing and I'm just copying other people's workouts that I find online. Right. What, what catchphrases do you have? Yeah. I said minimal. Uh, Kyle, you're chunking. You're chunking a lot, Kyle. I know. I'm,

I'm going to be chunking this whole ep. Sorry about that. Okay. Diarrhea. Did you hear that? Because you sound like. Diarrhea. Diarrhea. Remix, baby. Remix. We got some diarrhea up. This is important. And sometimes when I mix up a workout, I say, oh, oh. Diarrhea. Oh, that's a little bit of a diarrhea. Diarrhea.

That's the OG one. I like the high-pitched one, the dance party diarrhea. Little did I know is that Pepto Bismol has been going at this song and dance diarrhea for a minute or so.

There's a wealth of commercials to draw from. I would say little did anyone know. Yeah, a lot of people didn't know that. Yeah. But we're bringing it to them. I deep dove. I didn't even know where you got that clip from. And then I was watching TV with the whole fam the other day. And my dad hears the PetroBizmo diarrhea. And he's like, yeah, baby, diarrhea. Yeah.

And I'm like, he's like, I love that commercial. And I'm like, oh, shit. Blake straight up nabbed that one, allegedly. Oh, man. Allegedly. He allegedly took that from a commercial. I'm trying to be the guy on the street that people used to yell tight butthole to and now go, it's diarrhea guy. Okay. I also want that for you. It's going to happen. Yeah, I can't. Do we...

Was I just... I'm thinking I'm drunk again. Cool, man. My boy's drunk again. Oh, man. Hey, can I just say, I wish I was more drunk last week. You were drunk enough. No. No, that's the thing. I wasn't. That was only my third drink. Listen, no one's saying you didn't drink a lot. You were drunk enough. Well... No. It should have been for as much flack. Flack. As much fucking aflac I got. Yeah.

I deserve to be more drunk. I wish I was like six. I wish I was double the amount of drinks deep. Sure. Yeah. We got to do one. We got to do a pod where we get really hammered. I'm actually switching over. I'm starting an event that I'm calling a December to remember is what I'm trademarking. Hopefully that's never been done before. I've never heard of that. Yeah. Yeah.

Not like on a jewelry commercial or anything. I've never heard of that. No, I think that's a ridge. I don't know, but I'm— Does that mean you're not, like, blacking out or what? Since, you know, we're not going to any holiday parties and I really won't have any chances to black out, I'm really looking forward to remembering December completely, and I will be drinking N.A. beers for the month. N.A. beers. Don't drink beers. Dude, why even— So you're having a sober November, right?

Or, sorry, December. December to remember. Yeah, December to remember the whole name of the month. I'm not drunk, I swear to God. So then why even drink the NA beers? Because those are gross. Well, I want to taste test them. There's so many options. Last week I tried the Budweiser Zero, and yeah, it's really pointless to drink, I felt. Yeah, it doesn't make NA sense to drink them. Well, I feel like they all are pretty pointless to drink if they're not getting you drunk.

though. Right. Kyle, let's ask the sober friend, Kyle, do

Do you, when you were first saying, you know what, I'm done drinking, I'm not going to drink anymore. Did you drink any beers or were you like, those are gross? Oh, I filled my fridge with them. There you go. Because it was like I needed, I felt like I needed to drink a beer, but. Yeah, I love that visual. Yeah. I filled my entire refrigerator with that.

Not alcoholic beer. But then when you really break it down, it's like they don't taste good. They don't get you drunk. There's nothing good about them. It's kind of like... I disagree. Right now, I'm trying this N.A. Heineken. It's pretty freaking tasty. Yeah, but you could also just have a LaCroix, you know? I'm liking this. Yeah, drink water or like some... What is it? Mio? Little Mio squirt? So what is this for? What is this...

What is this for, Blake? Are you just trying to... You're tired of pissing out of your ass? Is that what you're tired of? What are you... Waking up in... The cause of diarrhea. Diarrhea.

All right. We got to diversify the portfolio here. That's the only downside. That's the only downside. Unless you are like blacking out a lot or you're driving into trash cans with your bicycle and breaking other arms. Yeah, has that happened? That did happen over the quarantine. I did hit a garbage can. He did break his arm. And you couldn't go shark diving with us during Shark Week. You had to sit on the boat. That's true. But I don't know.

Allegedly. I grew up with an uncle and a stepdad who drank NA beers. Oh, good for you. Good for you. I think they're kind of freaking cool. Dudes who drink NA beer or chicks that drink NA beer. So this is part of you rebuilding your image?

Yeah, I'm trying to go bad boy. Oh, okay. Then that's fine. I get it. Adam's working out online. You're doing this. Yeah, I'm trying to give fitness inspo to the people. Sick. Ders, what are you trying to do? You're just still being a basic-ass regular actor in TV and movies? Whack. Yeah, come on. What's your 2021 vibe? I'm a non-alcoholic. Yeah, I got nothing. Whack. Fucking diversify, man. We already have a podcast.

We're already branching out. That's it. I'm podcasting now. I'm branching out. Podcasters. You're podcasters. Yeah. I'm a recovering alcoholic. Adam is a fitness inspo guy. Guru. I'm a fitness guru who says still an alcoholic.

I'm not an alcoholic. The emptiness in your laugh was pretty cool. Fitness guru is still an alcoholic. Pause. I did. My parents just visited and man, we drank a lot.

A lot. Those folks, they've been living at Lake of the Ozarks now for a couple years, and they're just going for it. Not a lot of NAs. Their level of going for it is at full steam ahead. And my parents didn't drink a lot when I was growing up. My dad actually didn't drink. Yeah, me neither. From like when I was seven or eight till I graduated high school, and then he started drinking again. Like, I'm going to get back on it. And then now he's like back on it.

I think it's cool that you guys are all watching TV together. I feel like that's like a lost family thing that like families just sit and watch one thing together. Yeah. What sucks is my dad's like, ah, son of a bitch. God damn it. Because he doesn't like streaming. He doesn't like not just being able to flip through the channels.

Wow. He's a surfer. He's pissed every time he'd like go to grab the thing and like go to turn it and then it would just come back to the main screen. Right. Yeah. And he's like, ah, son of a bitch. I'm pissed now. He's pissed now because he wants to watch all the, you know, the fun commercials, the knife commercials and all the fun things that we're missing out on. Adam, were you the one who says flicking channels? Yeah.

Or is that Kyle? No, that's like flip off and flick off. I didn't flick off channels. Flipping. Somebody used to say flicking channels, and I was like, it's flipping. What are the shows that families watch? I mean, I watch sports with my family, but other than that, what is it? Like Masked Singer or something? Yeah, it used to be like American Idol. Yeah, we watched Masked Singer. My dad, although he's the one that turned it on, he was like, never seen this show. And I'm like, well, why are we watching it then? He goes, because it looks stupid as shit.

And I'm like, okay, well, it seems like you wouldn't have turned it on if you hadn't watched it. And then he was like guessing who it is. He's like really invested. I'm like, it seems like you watch it. He's like, I might've seen it a couple of times, but it's dumb as hell. This part's good. Listen to this. Oh, this is good. Oh, I've got to see who the Jenny McCarthy, Jenny McCarthy. Yeah, she gets it. I just got to know who the cake head is. I got to know who's the cake. It is a crazy show. And now they're doing the mass dancer.

Yeah. Like, they need to just mask off. Like, how many mask versions are we going to get? Oh, they're going to spin that off. And have Future host it, mask off. That would be synergy. Oh, yeah.

And I, yeah, and I understand that reference. What does that mean exactly for the listeners who doesn't? Mask Off, it's a hot track. Our listeners know they're young Goharth. Well, some of them are, and some of them are our age. Some of them are knocking on 40. Children and families and maybe don't. Well, they still got to listen to Mask Off by Future.

I'm on. Well, some of them do and some of them don't. So it is a song by Future, Mask Off. Yeah, I guess I can cue it up and we can play us out with it at the end of the pod. Okay.

Yeah. Oh, please. That's what they're going to wait on. Wait till the end. Babe, I can't stop listening. Mask Off is about to play. Do you guys think you could have a normal conversation with Future or no? A normal conversation? I don't even know who... Future. Future is? I know who he is. I couldn't tell you what he looks like or what. He looks fucking cool. Yeah, he looks like a Lynx. I'm sure. I'm sure he's cool. He kind of looks like...

One of H.R. Giger's aliens has became a rapper. Oh, he's like tall as hell, right? Yes. He's like 6'8 or something. I don't want to be 6'8. He's not like 2 Chainz tall. I think I'm thinking of 2 Chainz. 2 Chainz is like the lanky ass dude. 2 Chainz is dope and he can ball. But Future just, I feel like if I was in an elevator with him and was just like, hell of a day. Yeah.

Yeah, man. Like, I just want to know what he would say if he'd be like, yeah, or if he'd say nothing, or if he'd be like... Do you remember when Blake and I were at the NBA All-Star game? When I did that weird... I did that weird song and dance with Queen Latifah and Jamie Foxx and Kevin Hart for the NBA All-Star game in LA, and then I came out. It was so weird. It was the weirdest. It was literally me, Queen Latifah, Jamie Foxx. Who else was there? Kevin Hart...

And like two other ludicrous. I shared a room with ludicrous and like our green room was the same room and he was getting his haircut and he's like, anything you want to listen to Adam? Wow. And then I go, Oh, anything by word of mouth ready for, ready for him to be like, ha ha. And he goes,

nah, man. And I'm like, okay. I don't think you're going to have a good conversation with future either then. No, but I remember when me and Blake were at the game, the slam dunk contest and Migos had just won like the celebrity MVP and the celebrity all-star game. And he had the trophy. I believe Quavo, Quavo, Quavo,

Quavo. It was Quavo, yeah. Migos is three people. Yeah, it's three people. That's right, Quavo. And I go, yo, so you won the trophy, huh? And he was holding it. And he's like, yeah, man. And I'm like, where are you going to keep that trophy? Bad question. I'm just trying to spark up a conversation. He's sitting right next to me. And he's like, I don't know, man. And I go, are you going to put it in your bathroom? People put trophies in their bathroom. And he's like, nah, man.

And I'm like, oh, okay. So you got a shelf or something? Like really trying to get a conversation going. And he goes, yeah, man, I got a shelf. That's cool. All right. Okay. The cool thing, maybe he didn't even have a shelf. He was like, fuck, I don't know what to do. He was probably super high, just having a good time. I also kind of think he was probably really nervous to talk to Blake and me. He was like, oh, shit. Yeah, super starstruck. He was like, it's the guy with the hair. Yeah, he was like super starstruck by us.

The guy with the hair, the short one that was just dancing with Queen Latifah. Oh, nervous. It's King Latifah. It's King Latifah. You've done a lot of singing and dancing, and I'm sure you're under contract, but...

If you're one of the masked singers, can you blink for us or something? How far away are you currently masked up and doing the show? I cannot say. I cannot say if I'm a masked singer, if I sing with masks on or off. Oh my gosh. I feel like you're seasons away. Can you say, have they come to you?

Have they offered? Does Robin Thicke have your phone number? I don't know if Robin Thicke does, but someone over there does. And I will say that. Okay. You're built for that show, man. You're really built for it. Short and squat. How am I doing, guys? I moved a little closer to the router. Am I still chunking or what's up? You seem less chunky right now, Kyle. You seem a little less chunky. Everything feels a little bit...

smoother i moved upstairs i'm sitting on the floor i'm very zen right now okay all right good good good good well don't come don't come back in and take over the whole goddamn podcast we're talking about yeah just fucking bulldozing the whole thing what are you talking what did i miss what did i miss no no we're not going yeah no no no all right where are we at

How are you, how are you doing with the podcast Kyle? Cause my mom is, is really worried about you after last week. I kind of told her, uh, you know, about the podcast and, and she had listened to a few episodes and she thinks we're giving it a little too hard to you. So, uh, I'm going to take Penny's advice and, uh,

I'm going to be nice as fuck to you from now on, at least during this podcast. I feel like you say that every weekend, then you rip him to shreds. No, I don't. No, I don't. I always try to be nice to Kyle, and then at the end, he backtracks and then stabs me in the back when I'm trying to just love my buddy. Mm-hmm.

I'm trying to kiss on my daddy, dude. I don't mind it. It doesn't bother me. It's just as an entertainer, it feels a little one note. You know what I mean? It feels like I feel like I don't want it to become predictable. I would hate for our podcast to be like, you know, I've heard that episode before. So I think it's good to switch it up. I think that's just good from an entertainment standpoint, bruh.

Yeah, that's absolutely right. So we got to find someone else to kind of dog on. Hey, Blake, fuck you, man. Yeah, fuck you, Blake. See, I don't know. That's not the same. Cut your hair, you bitch. Think of how many episodes. Okay, okay, everybody. Fuck you, Blake. Cut your fucking hair. Why are you afraid to cut your hair, you bitch? You know what? It looks like I'm chunking over here. I might have to log off. Okay? Yeah, that's a nice little defense mechanism. Yeah, it works.

And I disagree. I think yelling and ripping Kyle apart every week is money. It's like, I love Lucy. Come on. She's going to get into trouble every episode. Okay. Yeah, that is. Yeah, that's absolutely true. The fans, the fans need it. And the aruguloids, I feel like they also like it. They're like, you know what? I like salads, but also I'm getting a kick out of this too. And I would venture to say people have been saying we are the I love Lucy of podcasts.

And that's such a topical reference. And I think a lot of people are, you know, during quarantine, they're going back and they're watching all their classic favorite shows from their childhood, especially fans of our podcast, people that are in their 20s and 30s and some in their early 40s. They really remember I Heart.

Lucy? I love Lucy. It's one of the... Yeah, I love Lucy. I heart Lucy. It's I Heart Radio is our podcast channel. I actually might start a spinoff podcast where I'd watch every episode of I Love Lucy and I just chit-chat about it. That's what the people want. Yeah, thank you, Lucille Ball. Guess what? I'm not pissed now! Okay. What else did... I know that that show was like

groundbreaking game changer super hilarious still holds up what else did she have I know she produced things but did she star in other things like did she ever cross Lucille Ball yes

Lucille Ball. I don't know if she did. I don't know if she did anything else except for that show. Like, did she cross over into movies? Or like, did she have a podcast? That's actually really crazy. Yeah, if she doesn't have a podcast, was she even an entertainer? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I mean, at this point. I'm sure Desi Arnaz had a fucking radio show or something like that that she was on. Desi Arnaz was a big...

a major player. He bought RKO Studios after the Orson Welles era. Right, but wasn't she the business savvy one? Yeah, but I think it was a different time and Desi was kind of the guy making the deals. The puppet? Yeah. She had her fucking fist up his butt and was like talking with his... You got some spainin' to do. There we go. Can I just say, I'm looking up some Lucille Ball right now. Yeah. She's for like, even though she looks...

Even when she's younger, she still looks like she's your grandmother just because that style and hairdo. But kind of a babe. Babe grandmother, right? Oh, yeah. She was hot. Yeah. I had a fucking crush on that. When I'd be homesick from school. Did you really? Yeah. What's up with, like, black and white porno? Wait, you jerked off to Lucille Ball? Yeah, for sure. Ew. Really? And Patty Duke on Nick at Night, for sure. Who's Patty Duke? Yeah, what the hell? Don't make the noise, dude.

Patty Duke, the Patty Duke show. It was about twins, but it was played by one lady, Patty Duke. Okay, yeah, this woman's pretty for sure. My old time lady was Mary Tyler Moore. Oh, yeah. That was my speed. Come on.

Mine was... It's also weird because my mom would get that she looks like Mary Tyler Moore kind of a lot, like when we were out and about. Yeah, that is weird. Yeah, but I wasn't like jerking off like this creep. I was a child. I'm like eight years old and I'm going... Yeah, baby! And I'm going like, oh yeah, that woman's pretty. Like my mom's pretty. I bet you'd take care of me and give me food. I bet you'd love and appreciate me the way my mom does. I love Mary Tyler Moore. Let's get out of this one.

Whoa. Patty Duke is Sean Astin's mom and you look like Sean Astin. So what is going on there, dude? I do look like Sean Astin, but I don't know who Patty Duke is. I just looked her up. She's a pretty woman. But I'm talking about Mary Duke is Sean. Wait, Adam, what Kyle's saying is that.

Patty Duke is Sean Astin's mom. You look like Sean Astin. Uh-huh. True. So do I want to fuck you? Right. And I feel like we've covered this. Oh, okay. You fucking idiot. Good radio. What the fuck, man? Yeah. It's already well established that he would marry me. Oh, yeah. Catalina. Yeah. To take my boat to Catalina and fuck me on the boat.

Yeah.

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I'm trying to think of what my classic beauty I would like to shack up with. Like the old school. Well, I mean, Sophia Loren, like there's some. I mean, you obviously have a weird like. Yeah. Kind of. I'm not going to kink shame you, but you like to jerk off the old school footage of.

of TV starlets. I'm not saying I do it now. I'm not going to kink shame you, but you like to wrap your nuts in tinfoil and stick them in the microwave. Oh, that's good. I'm not on Pornhub like hitting like 60s sitcom bays. I think you are. Is that a category on the hub? I'm saying back in the day when it

Everything is a category. Ticket to the hub. Wow. But I'm saying back in the day when like resources were thin and you're watching Nick at night, you got to do what you got to do.

No, because come on, MTV like Beach House is on. Yo, don't get me started on, oh, say, can you see? Hey, first of all, Blake, Ders is the oldest person we know. He wasn't watching Beach House. Beach House is when we were kids. He had to watch old black and white, old timey. Oh, maybe like I Dream of Jeannie. Oh, boy. Come on. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh my God. Ders. Wasn't the guy, who was the one, the dude in one of those old shows, like Hogan's Heroes or something where he was like a, like a total porn addict or not a porn addict. He was like addicted to fucking and him and his buddy would like film each other and make their own homemade pornos. And then he got murdered. Yeah. That movie, the autofocus movies off the chain. Yeah. Oh,

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Who was in there? It was like Greg Kinnear or someone. I love me some Greg. Kinnear plays the dude and his best friend is played by Willem Dafoe. And he's like a he's like a gearhead that's like a photographer and gets all this like early camcorders from Japan and stuff. And then they just started filming pornos. And there's a great line where they're like sitting watching their fuck fest from the night before. And he's like, hang on a second, pause it.

whose hand is that on my ass? And Willem's like, that's mine. He's like, what do you mean it's yours? He goes, well, I had my thumb in your ass. You didn't seem to mind. Hot, hot, hot, hot. I like that. They freak out. He's like, what are you talking about? He's like, hey, it's a, what do you call it? He's like, it's a grab and go or some shit. I got to check that out. It's a classic grab and go. Oh my God. I'm a big Kinnear fan. So good. I think my, would this count as an old school lady? I kind of thought Gina Davis was hot.

I liked her in... Yes. Geena Davis is unbelievably beautiful in Earth, Girls, or Easy. Geena Davis was super hot. She's kind of weird looking. Oh, man. No, that's not my reference. That's not my reference. My reference. Fly? League of Their Own? It was League of Their Own. Yeah. So...

super hot. She's so hot. She's the star. But also, A League of Their Own, she was a babe, dude. She's the star of the movie. She's a super hot babe. Yeah, but now I look back, I like her younger sister, Kit, right? Is that her name? Kit or Kat? Well, that's not her... Oh, you're talking about... Kit, I think. Yeah, from Free Willy. You look like you're seeing a ghost.

Bro, she was great. What was that woman's name? He's hot. Tank Girl. What was her name? She was one of the first people I saw. I saw her when I first moved to California in Venice Beach with her. Remember she had a shaved head for a while? Yeah, yeah. We can do this. Don't tell us the name. Don't look it up. We can do this. She was in the army now. She was roller skating in...

Sorry, skateboarding barefoot down the street in Venice, holding a bottle of red wine. Wait, roller skating barefoot? No, no, no. She was sorry. Skateboarding barefoot down the street, holding a bottle of red wine. And I was like, welcome to California, man. This is the coolest fucking place. Lori Petty? That is her name. That is her name. Got it. I think she went to my college roommate's high school, and that was his claim to fame. Claim to fame? Somewhere in Iowa. She was great.

Oh, that he would. No, like that she went to his high school. He was like, that's how cool I am. And I was like, that's fucking sick. Yeah, that's super dope. Yeah. And she was roller skating while skateboarding? Yeah. Lori Petty rules. That's amazing. No, she was skateboarding, man. Hairfoot. God damn it. She was skateboarding hairfoot. Tank girl. She could do it. Welcome to California, baby. We've established that I... Adam's drunk again. I just...

I'm drunk again off my caffeine high. I'm riding too high off the fiend. By the way, Geena Davis is like shockingly beautiful. Yeah, the bone structure on that. We were talking about like – and also Geena Davis is a little old. We're talking about women that are now in their 70s or 80s. Yeah.

That's what we're talking about. We're talking about like grandma style. This is important. Welcome to our... Like, Geena Davis could be like an older sister. Like a little too young to be your mom, probably. Yeah, she's 50-something. Right. Geena Davis? Now? Geena Davis, man. No, she's like 70, dude. Are you kidding me? Yeah, you guys think you're younger than you are. No, dude. No. Get the

Fuck out of here. How old is Gina Davis now? Look it up. I'm going to say she's 53. No way. No. I'm going to say, yeah, 55. She's almost 70. No, she's like 67. Yeah, I'm with you, Blake. She's got to be up there. No, she was 13 in A League of Their Own. Oh, my gosh. No. She's almost 70, if not 70. She's 64. That's exactly what I just said. 64. She's 64. No. You're 10 years off. She's 64.

64, so I was three years old. So I got it. So yeah, she is our mom's age. And so Blake wants to fuck his mom. That's weird, dude. And it's all, we circle back, baby. That's weird, dude. Ow.

How come everybody's... No, that's not what I'm saying. That's kind of your thing. And that's fine. Maybe that'll be the thing that everyone likes about this episode. Because we're not beating up Kyle. Okay, well, I think they're going to like that you beat off to Nick at night, okay? Yeah, it's an Oedipus complex. Everybody here got that.

No. Oh. What does that mean? An Oedipus complex is when you want to fuck your mom and kill your father. Correct, it is. Oh, it's got to be both? Huh. It has to be both. It's not just fuck your mom. That's just kink shaming. Well, I got news. If you fuck your mom, that's going to kill your dad. Yeah, true. You do it all in one stroke. Yeah. Admittedly, dad would be pretty salty on that. Yeah. Yeah, that'll break his tart. Mm-hmm.

And that's cool that I know that my parents listen to the podcast. So this is going to be fun for them. This is going to be a fun little few minutes for them. This is going to be a fun drive to the supermarket. Mine don't. But they were the ones complaining that we pick on Kyle so much. So be careful what you ask for, you know what I mean? Yeah, see what happens when we let him loose? My God. Yeah, totally. He sets us up. Well, I didn't mean that we all had it. I was just relating it to us in like a way. But we don't. None of us have that. No, absolutely not. Nah.

Nah, we don't have that. You guys ever watch, you ever see The Graduate? No. Yep. Not enough. Of course. I mean, I did. I have. What's her name? Mel Brooks. Isn't that Mel Brooks's wife? Oh, I don't know her name. What's her name? Stunner. This is like the golden age of Hollywood, correct? Is that what we're talking about? No. Yeah, The Graduate kind of kicked it off. No, golden age. We're talking like Anne Bancroft.

No clue. Jesus Christ. No one remembers who this woman is. I just pretended. Yeah, I know Kyle's just saying, oh, yeah, no, I know it because he's a director, so he has to pretend he's seen films. He's like, oh, The Graduate. Yes, my favorite. Well, it was either right there in that moment. It was either, oh, yes, or The Golden Age of Hollywood is actually the 30s.

Is it? Yeah, it's the 30s. Yeah, for sure. No, the golden age of Hollywood is when Fight Club came out and the next year was The Matrix. Fuck y'all, dude. No, the golden age was in 1994 when Jim Carrey came out with Ace Ventura, Mask, and Dumb and Dumber all in the same year. That was the golden age. Okay. Get at me, Hollywood historians. How are you not hitting the soundboard? Thank you.

Man. Redo? Sha-ka-ka. Sha-ka-ka. There we go. Thank you. Two sha-ka-kas. Oh, I'm like, what? Yeah. Hey, Kyle, how often when you go into a meeting and someone references, because you're not very well studied when it comes to knowing. Movies? Movies. Well, that's kind of not true, but what's up? Well.

He kind of is. No, no, no. He's seen 10 movies. But go ahead. You've seen 10 movies. How often does someone like a producer or something say like, oh, a deep cut movie and you are like – because I do it sometimes. But I'm sure as a director it happens to you so much more where they're like, oh, yeah, and you remember this film from like –

1964 and you're like well that's true I mean no no you're but like a deep cut because you're not a true cinephile you're not like studying films all day every day I'm getting more so I'm more so getting there now like I just watched Citizen Kane a year ago for the first time I had never seen that before oh wow yeah

Because I wasn't interested in studying it. I was more interested in making the films. You know what I mean? And just the craft of doing it. But yeah, you're right. No, I get it. Kyle, is that your argument? That you're like, I don't watch movies. I make movies. That's what it was. Yeah, for sure. You know that doesn't work, right? Okay. Well, now he knows and he's doing it. How do you handle a line? Do you say, I didn't see that? Or do you do a classic line?

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm that guy. Because that's what I do. I for sure – I lie almost – I would say 80% of the time. 20%, I'll go like, you know what? I don't know that one. But most of the time, more than most of the time, I will go like –

Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, I'll do that when it comes to actors and actresses. Like, I'll definitely be like, oh, right. I remember him or I remember her. But not when it comes to movies and plots. Right. When it comes to movies and plots, I'm just like, I can't. I'm not lying. You know what I mean? Like, it's not. Because you're watching it for shots. Sure. In case they have a follow-up question and they're like, so what did you think of this plot device? Were they – and then you have to be like –

Oh, yeah, I haven't seen that one in a while. Right, I can breeze past an actor and an actress and just be like, yeah, or this actor or this actress. You can kind of do that. Or someone that I know. Right, exactly. Or one of my friends. From Mortal Kombat the movie. Yeah. Yeah, my...

I find that sometimes people will be like, you know what's their name? Or like, you're friends with it. And I'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they continue with it like, so yeah, I was just talking to them the other day. And you're like, yeah, I actually don't know that person at all. Right. Angelica Houston. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll be like, yeah, I know. And you're just like, mm-hmm, sure, for sure. Yeah. Jelly? I probably met them at a Comic-Con when I was blackout and they remember the time I met them and I don't at all. Jelly? Well, that happens to me. I would say that...

specifically from you where people being like, yo dude, I'm Blake's homie. And, uh, and I, then I have to, well, this is in the before times when I actually would go out places and see people that I didn't know. But, uh, I would always get people to be like, yo, I'm, I'm homies with your friend, Blake, man. And then I have to like have a conversation with them for like 10 minutes or

And then I kind of put it in together like, oh, he doesn't really know Blake. He was at a bar once with him. Yeah. And for some reason, they feel like they have a connection with you that then they go like, hey, we're really good friends. The next time I see one of these guys, I have to let them know that –

Well, next time just FaceTime me and show me the person and, you know, we'll sort it out. That always works. And then you could be real harsh with this. Like, I do not know that man. I don't know him. Sorry, man. Walk away. I do not know that man. Run. I don't know this person. Get the hell out of there. I just turn and run.

See ya. Kyle, what are your five most as well? Let's do this two ways. As a director, what are your three most influential movies? And then just as a movie fan, what are your three favorite movies? Just so we can get inside that brain of yours and not make funny or whatever.

Oh, well, yeah. I think one of my top influential films is The Wrestler. Okay, tight. The Wrestler. Sick movie. Very nice. That's up there. I'm an old piece of meat. Is what? What did you say? The Wrestler with Mickey Rourke, Aronofsky. Oh, yeah. You love The Wrestler. That is true. And I also love The Big Lebowski. Big Lebowski is so...

Yeah. I was just talking about this the other day. Absolutely not. It's perfectly rated. I feel like people love The Big Lebowski. No, no, no, no, no. It's underrated because the swing that the Coen brothers took with that fucking movie, it's insane. It's crazy. And for some reason, you just go, it all works together. For some fucking crazy reason, all that stuff together works. And it shouldn't. There's literally like

the dude days. There's like holidays surrounding people obsess over it. You're right. There's Lebowski fest. There's, there's all that stuff. I know, but I'm saying it's like a film I'm saying is like, not like a, Oh dude, we used to get stoned and watch that shit all the time. I'm saying like what those guys did, they like created a whole new genre in that movie. And I think they get the love for that. I really do. I don't think they get it for that movie.

From like film critics. I think stoner dudes are like whatever and film critics are like Fargo, Miller's Crossing. And you're like, all right. Yeah. I watched that movie. I remember I got – when I was doing – when I was a kid, I would do voices on the radio and get free tickets to movie premieres and like concerts and shit. And they gave me and my dad a ticket to go see The Big Lebowski. But I'm in like –

seventh grade, sixth, seventh grade. So it was way over my head. I remember just leaving going like, I don't know what the fuck I just watched. And it wasn't until I watched it when I was like 19 or whatever that I was like, oh, that was actually great. Dude, I saw The Big Lebowski right when I was making like stuff with my friends and I watched it and I was like, what? That felt like the most natural film I've ever seen in my life. Like the performances had to have been

improvisational. They had to have been like, what did the actors like bring to that? Like what, what? And then when you go and you actually do your research on that movie and you're like, every word, every punctuation was thought out by the Coen's. Right. And you're like, Oh,

So this is a testament to fantastic writing and a testament to the fucking best performances I've ever seen. Like all those guys made that shit great right there in the moment. Very casual and just so sick, dude. But then, but this is what I'm saying is you have that where you're like, Oh, they're just recording these friends talking. Then you have Julianne Moore coming in and doing like that whole fucking thing. And it works. And you have, uh, the other Lebowski, uh,

Being very performative, you know what I mean? And you have Philip Seymour Hoffman very kind of doing his own different thing. And for whatever reason, somehow, Tara Reade steals the whole fucking movie. Yeah, yeah. With the toe. Exactly. Like, how do you get that? I mean, that's just good performances, man. That's like PTA-level performances. And the dream stuff? Yeah.

unreal. Like the Vikings and like... I mean, great soundtrack. Soundtrack's bangers, dude. So what's your next one, Kai Guy? You're on a roll. I think I would actually go to... I think I would actually go talk about Paul Thomas Anderson and talk about either...

Boogie Nights. I think I got to talk about Boogie Nights because that's like just fucking so good. Again, great performances, great shots, great story. Julianne Moore. Like, great tone.

It's like, you know, funny at times and fucking really like heart wrenching a lot of the times too. It's like, I love that. I love when I'm laughing in one scene and then I'm like kind of fucking feeling in the next scene. But mostly Wahlberg's cock in that one shot. Well, that's his best performance of all time, right? Yeah. I mean, that was the cherry on top for you, Kaya. I don't know. I heart Huckabee's. He's pretty cool. Fear. Yeah. Just throwing it out there. Fear. Right. Fear is good too. That's very true.

Oh, fear, man. He rules in fear. Yeah, Huckabees was good as well, for sure. Welcome to my dojo. I mean, it's good. What's that guy's name? The Yeller. Who made that movie? What's his name? Screamer. Yeah, yeah. Dan or David?

I don't know. Oh my God. Where do you stand Kyle on the first 45 minutes of blow? The greatest movie of all time. The greatest first 45 minutes of all time. Now that's me as probably. So there's also asked as a movie watcher, like blow is really fun for me to watch. I love watching that because I get fucking juiced. It's like the rise to the top. It's very fun. Uh, and Peewee Herman's crushing. Yeah. Uh,

Dude, Paul Rudman slays in that movie. I used to watch that movie every night before going to bed like a psychopath. Yeah, you loved that. I loved it. I would watch it as I'm going to – well, I slept on a couch for like two years of my life. So I would just – I'd be in the living room about to go to bed and I'd just put it on and watch the first 45 minutes as I'm falling asleep and then turn it off.

because then it gets kind of sad and you're like, oh, his life's depressing. But the first 45, when he's just like a kingpin weed dealer. So you don't like the latter half of that movie? No, I like the latter half too, but I'm like, I'm not trying to go to bed being like,

oh this poor guy lost everything I'm just trying to go to bed be like drugs rule yeah I'm gonna have nice dreams yeah just saying drugs rule that's a major cautionary tale you should probably spend the next 10 years of your life just watching the second half

Funny how life changes. No, I've seen it and I get it. The thing is, deal weed, not cocaine. Hello. Smoke weed every day. The best part of the whole movie is Penelope Cruz in the windsuit at the end. Oh, damn. I miss her. God, Penelope Cruz rocks.

She looks fucking cool. What happened to her? She was sick. She's still doing it. She was in Zoolander 2. Come on. Hell yeah. Yeah, what happened to her? He has cocaine in the trunk. He's got cocaine in the trunk. And then bust his ass. Oh man, I was so mad at her. But you know who killed it like in the same vein with Sharon Stone in Casino?

where it's just like yeah it's like the the woman in the relationship who's basically like sticking her neck out on the line for the guy and she's like fuck this this is insane we have a family to raise and just throws it all that's kind of that's kind of a cool role is like the the cocaine queen like in most of those cocaine movies the wife of the king or like the actual i'm in charge yeah it's like michelle pfeiffer right in uh

And Scarface and Penelope Cruz. Well, you know how they're like turning every movie – Hollywood's turning every movie on its head and like making the women be the leads now? And I want to be – The man candy? I want to be the cocaine queen. I want to be like the – just the – I want to play like the coked up wild man husband who is – she's making all the money and you're like, I can't control this hot piece of ass.

That's what my wife is saying. My wife is going like, I can't control this hot piece of ass. I'm only keeping around because of his thick, juicy ass. Look at that ass. And then gratuitous ass shots at me, like walking around the pool. You're always in a speedo. You're like, honey, come here. And you're just like, she's like, oh, she just buries her face in your ass. Like guys always like crumble to their knees and just put their face right in her crotch. Like, baby, I'm so sorry.

I just want to go home. Yeah, exactly. Those are the roles I'm trying to get right now. That's why I'm working out my fitness, trying to be a fitness inspo. Oh, so it all comes back. So the fitness inspo is on the way to becoming more man candy for the gender swap. Okay. Yeah, well, it's 2020 now, and this is my year of health that I'm getting my body and mind in great shape. So when 2021 hits –

and that man candy roll is up for grabs, it'll be me and all the hot boys, me, the Hemsworths, all the Chris's, Michael B., and I'm right there in the running. I've been doing it for a few years. The water is warm. Come on in. Okay. All right. Yeah, Dersi's been hot man candy. He's always sitting around. He's always like cutting up carrots and shit by the sink. That's his hot boy roll. Hey, we're going to need some new carrots. I cut all the carrots, so...

I cut it. Let's just say these carrots are getting cut.

Yeah.

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How is it playing? Because that is true, Derzy. You've been playing these. You get roles that Blake and I do not get. The hot boy roles. The hot husband. Not too hot. He's just he's home, isn't he? He's just home. Hot enough. Yes. Stoked you married him. Right.

Right. Yeah. What's that like, man? Well, you get both. You get stoked to marry him and then like, oh, he seems like a great guy, but he's actually a cheating bastard. I turn on everyone. And that's why ladies at the airport fucking flip me off. Do they? They're like, fuck you. From the intern. That's right.

Yeah, well, explain your role in The Intern and why the women hate you. The movie The Intern, starring Adam Devine and Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro. Correct. Bobby D. De Niro becomes an intern for Anne Hathaway who runs this big, like,

internet clothing store. I'm her husband. She's at work all day and I get lonely. Watch it on a plane. It's a great plane movie. It's probably being watched on a plane right now. Daddy gets lonely, steps out. Ann knows. She confronts me. I apologize. She stays with me. Game changer of a movie.

Wow. Yeah. Well, it didn't have to. Could have left your ass. Oh, my God. And a lot of women are mad. They're mad at you. Day one on that movie was me crying with Anne Hathaway. Oh, that was the first day? What a brutal first scene. It was so rough. Oh, my God.

Gotta re-watch that. I didn't realize you cried. How did you cry? Because you don't cry that often. Yeah, what did you do? How did you do that? Yeah, you are a robot. Did you use the tear sticks? Let's get real. Let's get real here. Ready? You ready to get real for the first time on the pod? Yeah. I squeezed my nuts really hard. Let's go! I'll get real. I was like, yo, you gotta get in fucking gear for this. This is Anne Hathaway. It's a big movie.

You don't do this. Nancy Meyers, big writer, director, world famous. You have to step up. You have to deliver. Especially because in the audition, Anne cried when we did our one-on-one thing. She's so fucking good. She's so good. She cries exactly when she's supposed to. And I was like, fuck. So day one, I had just had a friend pass away. R.I.P. Tripp Healy, my man. And I was like, just...

Think about your homie, how much you miss him, start to cry and like get into gear. And like five minutes before, as I'm kind of like doing my thing in the corner, I'm like, this is the fucking worst idea. The dumbest fucking shit. My homie trip would be like, what the fuck are you doing? Put the picture of him away and just go tell someone to put eye drops in your eyes. Yeah.

Really? So I was like, fuck this. So you almost were method, and then you decided not to be. I was just like, this is so fucked. I have a real friend who died. I'm not going to use that to pretend to cry for a movie. Mm-hmm. Hmm.

Interesting. And I was sad. And then I was like, okay, what's the scene? And I was like, the scene is sad. You can be sad. And then I never cried. So they had to have someone like come blow the menthol in your eyes. Yeah, tear-stick you or whatever. I fucking love those things. When we used those, I only had to use them once in Workaholics when I was cutting my dick off. And I was like, yeah, give me more. Okay.

I love it. Yeah, so it's like a menthol, you know, when like you have a cough drop and then you put on your fucking mask these days or you're chewing gum with your SARS mask on and the fucking. COVID. COVID, yeah, but I have SARS. I mean. Oh, you do. And like you get that fucking little wind of peppermint blowing on your eyes and you're like, oh shit. That's essentially what we're talking about here.

And I love that story, Jersey. That was a beautiful story. Can I say that Blake fucking missed a primetime opportunity that when he was being very real for the first time in the podcast, that's when you should have done, yeah, baby, yeah, right in the middle of it, man. Why don't you cry about it? I mean, I thought we weren't doing that today. I thought we weren't cutting each other. I thought we were kind of, you know, just... What? No, we're not picking on you. Shut the fuck up, Kyle. What?

That's not a, we're not cutting on, that wouldn't have been cutting on Ders. That's delivering a funny ha-ha, a gig for our listeners. I will say. You know, because they're here for the gigs. They're here for the ha-has. I disagree. That's my bad. This is your worst day at the soundboard, I must say. I have an explanation. I just wasn't set. Because you came out hot. You're like, look at all my new things. And then it's like. No, my shit wasn't, my shit's not set. My shit's not set. What do you mean? It's like. Okay. Did you just recently have a homie die? No, I did not.

Well, then what's your fucking excuse? I just didn't get my sounds to a little bit before and I was having technical issues, but I finally have figured out how to have like more than just 10 sounds. So soundboard chunking. Okay. Well, that checks out. My shit wasn't ready. Okay. Okay. It was a little chunky. Yeah. Soundboard chunking over there. Yeah. Well, what can I do?

soundboard chunking so wait so you didn't tell the story of when you were at the airport it was like right after it was like after the intern had been playing for a little while you got women coming up to being like how dare you oh yeah they had just watched it on the airplane and then they see me and just fucking flying punch me yeah I did have one woman push me

Like playfully. Really? Like, I don't like you. And she like pushed my shoulder. And I fell off, fell into a garbage can. And I fell down some stairs, funny. No, but yeah, it's part of the gig. So guys,

Come play the husband, the boyfriend. Cry your eyes out. Yeah. I'm trying to be a sexy bad boy. That's all I want. And I don't see it in the cards exactly, but that's kind of... But why? What the fuck would be fun about that? Playing the sexy bad boy? Oh, what's fun about this? You're working. Yeah, well, working's cool, but if you just have to pick your... Yeah, no, I get that. But, like, to shoot for it, like, why would you... I don't know. Yeah, but are you looking at my face right now? Oh, shit. I hope we're rolling on that. Yeah.

Because it's fun to play something different. The cause of diarrhea. You know, that's the cause of diarrhea. Because Adam's always fun and fun-loving and lovable and all that. And I'm sure he wants to be the guy who's like,

Actually, fuck you. And everyone's like, whoa. Well, I do say that my dream would be to do like the movie Fear, basically, with Mark Wahlberg, where you're like, oh, yeah, he's a great boyfriend. We love him. Everybody seems to like this guy. And then just turn and I'm actually a fucking psychopath. Do you think you would get taken seriously? Yeah, I definitely think if you took a turn into your fucking insanity, that would be fun. Yeah. I think...

I think you could turn into your insanity really well, and it would be like not in a comedic way, but in a very dark way. It would be awesome. Do you think America would let you do that now? Hell yeah. Do you think in a movie theater people would laugh? I'm sorry. Is America your boss? Wait. Oh, what? I'm not saying like – I'm saying do you think America would interpret him –

as a serious, scary guy, or would they be like, this doesn't work for me? I think it would work. Yeah, I think it would work. I know you. I'm talking about the general pop. I'm pissed now! You know what I'm saying? You gotta try it, I guess. I think you just gotta try it. I don't know. That's why you go out on a limb. Well, also, like...

Would you think that people would take after Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore would take Sandler seriously? And then they do. And I don't. I never have. I think it sucks when he tries to be serious. Have you seen all those? Wait, really? Oh, see, I love it. And then the same with Robin Williams. Robin Williams killed it. Wait, what? What? Wait, hold on. Let's talk about Sandman for a second. What's the matter? What's...

adam sandler does great in those roles i disagree i don't think he does i don't think i don't what roles are we talking here what movies i mean we can talk about pta's movie punch drunk love punch drunk love i would have loved to seen anybody else in that role what about uncut gems that movie fucking rocked i'm gonna go to uncut gems next but like you think a better movie and it would have been an amazing movie he killed

Yeah, he crushed. I also think he crushed. Even in Rain Over Me, he did a great job. I don't know what the fuck that is and no one else does because they don't want to see that shit. That's the one with fucking Don Cheadle, bro. The post 9-11 one. No one. Yeah, I hated it. Thank you. I fuck with the cobbler. But that's my point is that if he was killing it

I would, you would say that name of that movie and I would go, oh yeah, of course that one and everyone else would too, but no one's seen that show. Well, even I said two and you know what they are. And so like he did a great job and people accepted him as that. No sir, I don't like it. Who? Huh? Nobody accepted him as that. Who liked him in Uncut Gems?

No, Uncut Gems. Yeah, he was great. I loved him. Kyle, I'm with you. I think Sandler does a great job. I don't mind. People liked him in Uncut Gems and everyone's like, he got snubbed for an Academy Award. It's like, he didn't get snubbed. He wasn't awesome. Oh,

Shut the fuck up! You're wrong. He didn't give a fuck about that, FYI. That's not why he did it. I think he did. He did it because he liked the script and liked the character. He doesn't care what people think about him. Let's get him on the pod. I'm on right now. Who do-do-do? Yeah.

The worst Sandler impression of all time. I just think you're being a little tough on the guy, man. He fucking... I think so, too. And... We can't be tough on guys? No, you can, but he just is like a homie, and I'm like, I back him up, so I feel like I'm... So what do you want me to do? Be like...

Do you want me to not say how I feel? No, I just think that like you are contradicting yourself in saying that he was good in Uncut Gems. Therefore, your initial statement was a little bit kind of... I thought he was fine. I just don't believe him in these things. That's all. Yeah, okay. I feel you. You can have your

opinion. That's cool. But then what about there's other actors. What about Robin Williams when he... And when you said that, I said he killed it in like Good Will Hunting or whatever. Yeah. Right. So I'm not saying no one crosses over. The whole beginning of the thing was, do you think

Would America in general would believe you as the scary, mean guy or would it be – No, I think – I don't think I'd be – I think I would be like a little bit of a psychopath. And I think if it's turned on the head where I'm exactly what you think I am at the beginning of the movie, I'm like a fun-loving guy that everybody kind of is just like, oh, this guy is fun. I like having him around. And then all of a sudden I turn. I think that's a good –

plot device in a movie where you're like, oh, what a fun turn. I didn't see that coming. Right. Then you take your shirt off. They would invest in the character and then they see those abs and then I wear the abs that I'm going to get and my fucking cheeks. Yeah, baby. I was going to say the tattoo of that goat man on your back. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I want to see you in that role. I want to see Ricky Gervais in that role. There's like a lot of comedians I would love to see make that film. Wait, what? Really?

Yeah. I would also like to see that. I mean, look, Jim Carrey, the fucking man. And then you put him in like the number 23 and he's like, yeah. And you're going, no. That wasn't a great grip though, right? No, that's not a great one. Yeah, but Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, that movie ruled. And he was great in it. Yeah, he crushed. And he was great after The Riddler. I thought he was fine. You just have to pick the correct movie. I know, but I thought he was fine. Did you like that movie or not?

I mean, his performance was good. I didn't love that movie, but I thought he was fine in it. It seems like you like people when they just play in their lanes. And I like that too, because I mean, there's a reason Sandler keeps going back to the well of making his type of movies because people just fucking love them in that way.

realm. I mean, by the way, I'm not a huge Sandler guy like period. So that doesn't help either. Okay. Okay. But I'm no, it's a very limited lane like John Candy in JFK. It's interesting like small part, but it was like, whoa, holy shit. This dude is like this fucking Louisiana guy. Now that's weird and crazy and you pulled it off. Some people would do some people do it. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I don't know. I think you're being a hater. Yeah, I think you're sipping a big glass of haterade. Hated it. Dude, you're sipping so much goddamn haterade right now, Ders. It's cool, though. That's our opinion about your opinion. Right, that's why I just go, okay. Yeah, yeah, I know. Well, Dersy, I think you can very easily get out of your pigeonholed existence as the hot boy husband and, you know, play a super fun-loving swinging cat. Oh, dude, and that's my fucking dream role.

I keep saying to our manager, can I just be a fun-loving swinging cat? Okay. Maybe you could roller skate and skateboard at the same time. Here we go, Blazer. What would your role be if you were going to reestablish yourself as something? What would you want to take on where people would be like, oh,

whoa, damn, I didn't see that coming, but you think you could kill... I want to see Dersi as a little bit of an action hero. That's my vote for your career. He's already kind of done that, though. I would love to... If I want to do... The thing I would want to do right now next would to just be like what Adam does, which is like the ridiculous friend of the person who's like crying about some girl, you know? I think that would be fun to be like the absurd dude who gets to say the most insane shit. But

But they don't want to see me be insane because they're like, ew, frat guy, chill. Right. You're too hot to be insane. Hey, 80s movie villain, you're too hot. I don't know what it is. My neck is too long. I don't know what it is. Got to grow your hair out. No, I'm not saying people should stay in their lane. I think that it is a fucking, it's a hard needle to thread. Not many people can do it.

and you guys think some people can do it that I don't, you know? I get that. Yeah, I do love watching people put themselves out there, and I guess I do give them a tremendous amount of credit for even just stepping out of their lane in general. So, like...

Because I think that that takes guts and takes like, you know, it just takes – it's a tough thing to do. So maybe I am giving people more credit than just the role at face value for even stepping outside of their lane and taking the risk as a performer because that takes guts. You know what I mean? It's cool. I like that. It's also rolling the dice as far as like your career goes. You want –

At the end of the day, when we're all fucking old people and we're just like on our deathbed, you want to look back and be like, oh, I did step out of what I do all the time and I tried a little bit of everything. And then maybe you try something and everyone's like, absolutely not. Never that again. Then just don't – you don't do that shit again. Or maybe you do it and people are like, oh, I fucking did not expect him to be like a psychopath in this movie. And that opens up a whole other –

You know, segment of your career that you never thought was possible. You know what I mean? Like, like I'm doing a lot of, I've been doing the last few years are like rom-coms where I'm like the cute guy that gets the girl at the end. And I never saw that coming in my fucking life. If you would have told me when we were all 23, 24 years old and we're like on the promenade,

of creating Workaholics that I was going to be like a romantic comedy guy, I would have gone, you're fucking nuts. But then the opportunity arrived and I was like, okay, I guess I'll roll the dice on this. I guess I... It comes down to like, I appreciate... I know what you're saying about people stepping out of their comfort zone. I don't think that that's that big of a deal. I think you are being a little generous with your like, hey, just because you did that movie, I'm going to give you props. Like...

I don't think it takes that much guts to do that. I think people get bored being the same guy and they're like, oh, here's my opportunity to be a weirdo. And they're like, I'm going to do it to say like,

Fuck you. You can't control me or pigeonhole me. I'm going to show you how good I am, how diverse my portfolio is. Well, the guts, when people say guts, like acting, it takes no guts. There's no guts. That's not true. Yeah, I disagree with you. Well, no. I would say to do some things, it takes guts. Yeah, I think it does. But, I mean, sure, but like really...

really we're just acting. It's not real guts. It's no, we're not fucking firemen running into burning buildings. It's like, have you seen backdraft? I disagree. Some people are really afraid to access certain emotions. I think it can be a very, like for people who take on roles that are really heavy, like who likes to sit and think about their dead friend, right?

Because you're playing in a movie where that's where you're living for three months is in that headspace. Or if you're playing a real life person who's still alive and it's like an important movie, there's like risks involved with like fucking that up and feeling horrible about it. For some people, that is one of the scariest things. Sure. Like Kindergarten Cop. Yes. Like Arnold in Kindergarten Cop, the amount of lifting...

Or Demolition Man and Wesley Snipes, his portrayal. Yeah, he's Simon. He's like a serial killer. He has to live in that. Yeah, he has to live up to that. Are you kidding me? Dude, but honestly, in Kindergarten Cop, can we talk about the bad guy, Crisp? Yeah.

Because he was fucking so good. Where was he when he made that movie? He's a killer. Hey, I take it back. I don't want Robin Williams' career. I want whatever that guy's name is in Chris. So let's get into that. That guy, okay.

He was in a movie called Three O'Clock High where he played the bully that was like, I'm going to kick your fucking ass at three o'clock. It was unbelievably scary and fucking good. In Kindergarten Cop, super fucking scary. And then he's in like all the Farrelly Brothers movies and he's super fucking funny. That dude, that dude gets my fucking seal of approval. There and that.

That dude wins it. That's cool. That's just a character actor that's trained and goes in wherever he feels like he's talented. And kills. Yeah. I'm team crisp. So is there any take backs, compliments, or whatever, put downs? What the fuck? What's the other one? Yeah, put downs. Take backs and apologies. How do we not know this yet? Take backs, apologies. Compliments and put downs.

Any slams? And ultimate slams. Let's add ultimate slams, please. Compliments or yo mama jokes.

I would like to compliment Kyle on finding the good Wi-Fi. He was chunky. I thought he was about to bail. I thought he was like, hey, you know what? I'm going to go eat some fish tacos or whatever you're trying to do with your life right now. I'm making an independent movie. Make an independent movie. Or I don't know. Maybe I thought during that time you got a little hungry. You wanted fish tacos. I'm not sure exactly what you were doing.

And so I'm glad you came back. I'm glad you found the good wifi. Welcome back, bud. That wasn't chunky at all, my friend. Thank you. I would also like to apologize for the chunky wifi at the beginning. I know that all the aruguloids out there miss me for those five minutes. Uh,

I don't know what was said. I don't know what was going on, but I was happy to be back. It was the peak of the show for sure. Right, right, right, right. December to remember. I'll text you about it. I did want to talk to you about that, Blake. I was bummed I couldn't talk to you about your freaking N.A., man. Yeah, and I just tried all three. Not good.

Not good. You're on your second NA beer. Drinks a case a night. Can I compliment Blake for going for the December to remember? Going 30 days without booze is not an easy thing, so great job, buddy. Probably won't make it, giving it a shot, though.

Is it really that hard? Yes, absolutely. I love beer. Okay. Especially during the holidays. It's a tough thing to do. Yeah, 30 days? Come on. It's going to get boring as fuck. I don't think I could just... We didn't get quite into that. Why are you doing... Is it like a health thing? You're trying to tighten up the midsection? You're trying to tighten up the game? No, because he's drinking beer every night still. Or you just were blacking out a little too much? He's just blacking out. It's to remember things. Yeah.

You were blacking out too much. Just enough. No, it was a little bit of just coming off the holidays. And also, I just want to try NA beers, and I thought it would be fun for the pod, for you guys to journey with me. I'll be probably insta-ing about it. We'll never know, Adam. I'm telling the truth. Sure. And I'm trying to remember December. I'm not trying to worry about it. I compliment you on telling air quotes the truth. Okay.

Okay. Thank you. I would also like to compliment you for really digging deep there and telling us exactly why you're giving up drinking for the month and just being real and serious with us. Yeah. December to remember. I'm going to have shirts made. Because by the way, you can taste NA beers and still drink beer.

But hey, he birds one stone. Yeah, so the whole point is to stop. He's blacking out. The truth has been spoken. December to remember. Yeah, he was blacking out a little too often. He's been blacking out. He's been blacking out too much.

So I'd like to compliment Blake for realizing he's blacking out way too often and sort of correcting the course. Hey, the ship was going off the side of a cliff, and let's steer that back out to the wide open ocean. Okay, you got it. And my apologies will be, I guess, for the soundboard. I dropped the ball. I didn't come prepared. This will be the last time I have an excuse because I've officially figured it out. So all my boarders out there. Because I'm in a car.

Get ready because next week we're going crazy. All right. Excited for the board. Hell yeah. The cause of diarrhea. Not board members. The board teenagers. The board members. Chairman of the board. That works. Chairman of the board. My compliments are to the chairman of the board. They've got some good songs. Thank you, sir.

Okay, and with that, we will play off with Mask Off by Future. Oh. All right. Oh, okay. I know this. This is important. Percocet. Percocet. Yeah, you know it. Percocet. Taking Percocet. Okay, everybody keep your mask on, but mask off. There you go. You know Future. That's it. So good. Everybody keep their masks on. Guys.

This was important. Yes, it was. Oh, God. I feel so turnt. Here we go. Down this shit goes. It really does. That was, dare I say, litty? It was. Litty. And we're out. Starbucks Iced Apple Crisp Oat Milk Shaken Espresso. Made with blonde espresso, creamy oat milk, and spiced apple flavors. It's an icy crisp sip you can enjoy all autumn long. Order ahead on the Starbucks app.

That's F-A-C-E-T dot com.

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