Ep 20: In Defense Of Mario Lopez As Colonel Sanders
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Was it up to us to put it in his mouth? It kind of was. When you're here, kill your family. Oh, that's right. You always wear sweatpants now. Let's go. And we're back. All right. Woo.

Oh my God. That was a hard go right at the beginning. A lot of tech stuff. We're dealing with technical issues over here. Tough tech, tough tech. A lot of tough, tough tech. So I guess we should just come clean, right? We should tell everyone what's happening. Well, they're going to want to know. They can tell we're coming into this with a head of steam. Oh yeah. We've been waiting on the tech. 2020 Tech Talk. Here we go.

Let's talk it. So, guys and gals listening out there. What happened? Don't upgrade to Big Sur. Thank you for saying guys and gals. Everyone's included over here. And also people that don't even... They're not even... They're genderless. Also those people. Welcome. Oh, hell yeah. Audience. Yeah. I mean...

You good? I'm fine. Great. Yeah, I feel like it goes without saying, but okay. No, a lot of people think about these people, they think about us and they're like, hey, these guys, they're talking to one gender or another gender. Guess what? We're talking to all genders and all humans and also people that aren't humans. So them too. Fair enough. Yep. Very inclusive podcast. We're sending this podcast into space.

So everyone out there, don't upgrade to Big Sur if you got a podcast because it ain't going to work with your Focusrite equipment, which is top-notch equipment that we use every week, week in, week out. But it ain't work today. That's just the price you pay for being ahead of the curve, for being one of the first to be at the tech. You have to be willing to experiment because...

Because a lot of times, shit ain't going to catch up. We got a nice window when things all work, then it keeps moving and evolving. And see, when Anders was talking to our producer, Anna, and they were like, did you get Big Sur? Are you in Big Sur? I thought you were traveling and you were at the beautiful mountain town of Big Sur.

And I was like, oh, maybe his connection's bad because he's in Big Sur. But no, it is a computer thing, a technical computer thing. Technically, it is a computer thing. Yeah, it's like the operating system update is called Big Sur because it used to be like –

El Cap. It used to be some other shit. Dude, I... They're California crazy. Oh, my God. I camped in Big Sur this year, Father's Day weekend, and God damn, it's a beautiful place. Have you ever been there? It's... Goodbye. Super dope. Goodbye. We heard, hey, Blake, they work better when people are listening. What did you do? Did you do one? Did you do a little butt dial? Slam me again real quick? God damn, it was gorgeous. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Oh, right. Okay, great. Thank you for the redo. So yeah, you guys ever been to Big Sur? I just remember driving through it and feeling like the world was on a tilt because it's just like a big mountain that just goes into the ocean, right? Yes. It's like cliffside. It's a little... Oh, that's right. I drove...

to wine country. And I decided, I was like, you know what? Let's take the chill, the chill ride up the one and then left too late. And immediately it was dark and I'm just on the side of a cliff.

Uh, and you know, that drive always feels like we're going to take the scenic route and you get on it. It's like, nah, this is, and you're just like, what the fuck am I doing? This is taking like eight hours too long. Yeah. They made highway five for a reason. You get super drained at driving that drive too. Cause you have to be alert the entire time or you'll drive off a

But guess what? What? You're not, you know, you're not alert. You're smoking weed. You're smoking weed. You're smoking weed. You might stop off and have a lunch beer or two. And you might drive off a cliff and kill you and your fiance. Oh.

And is that what you want? I don't know. Maybe. Are you like excusing a murder you're going to pull off? Or one that you already, what's up, bro? What's going on? Yeah. Is this another screenplay I need to write for you? Catalina 2. Scenic 101. Big sinner. Do I need to call Chloe in here? She's here. I swear to God. All right. We haven't seen her for months. Yeah. Yeah. She's a deep fake, bro. She went bird watching again.

He deep faked your fiance. That would be awesome. Come on in here. Come on in here. It's this like old school CG, Adam. Dude, that would explain why she's so purdy. You guys ever watch those datelines where they...

It's like a dateline missing persons. And they keep trying to be mysterious about somebody who just walked. They said they were going for a walk and they never came back. What happened? And it's like, they killed themselves. It's so obvious, but they just try and drag it out. But he said goodbye to everyone as if he would be back. The thing was, it was so cold and he didn't have a jacket. So we don't know. Right. And-

You're like, dude, he jumped off a cliff somewhere. It's a damn shame. Earlier in the day, he was listening to the saddest music. He had dogs. He just left his dogs. Yes, he was clinically depressed. Yeah, he was going to kill himself. That's sad.

That is sad, guys. Thank you, Blake. It is sad. Hey, it's great TV. Yeah. I'll tell you. Killer radio. Deadline is they're sad all the way to the fucking bank. I wish they would have Lifeline, some uplifting stuff where people live their best lives. Can we get that? What?

about good news? They do. I think it's called Lifetime, the whole channel. Okay. You basically said it. Oh, you got Deadline and Lifetime. Yeah. Well, Lifetime, and that is one of my favorite channels. They have great holiday movies. Oh, can we talk about that fucking commercial? Mm-hmm. The Mario Lopez KFC commercial.

Telenovela on Lifetime. Yeah. Pretty great. It's awesome. Have you guys seen it? No. People are like shitting on being like, oh, this is the worst thing, of course, 2020. Oh, 2020. Of course this is happening in 2020. Yeah, fucking this dope ass thing happened in 2020. Yeah.

That's the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. What is it? What is it? What is it? Somebody give me the context of this fucking thing. It's not real. It is real. It's not real. I think it is real, and I think it's like a full-blown... It's a full-blown production. It's not a movie. I think it's like 11 minutes long or something, so it's a short... It's a short film. But it's basically a telenovela involving Mario Lopez playing...

Spanish version of Colonel Sanders. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. We like it. The Rippin' and the Terran. There we go. All right. Yes. Yeah, you know Mario Lopez is Rippin' and Terran as Colonel Sanders. The thing that I think why people are like upset at it is because it's very confusing as to what's going on. It's like,

Like it's a, it feels like a sketch, like a funny or die sketch that is put on by Lifetime, which is normally not playing in the comedic world. Right. Am I out of touch with that? I think they kind of do sometimes. Cause wasn't it Lifetime that did the, the Will Ferrell movie?

movie a few years ago with, uh, where Farrell did like a, he did him and Kristen. We, yeah, him and Kristen. We did like a lifetime full on movie. That wasn't a comedy movie that they just played it as seriously as they could. Oh, but that's the bit. That was the bit. Exactly. But they made the movie when I did the intern, I was joking in the intern. Oh, you were really? Yeah. That was a bit. Oh yeah. I don't know if Nancy Myers would be pumped on that.

Right. On that quote. No, she was in it. It is Nancy Meyers' week. I am going to pull that quote and send that to Nancy. So they're down with satire, and that's what they're doing. Like, they had, like, Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig satirized them. So they're like, we can laugh at ourselves, and now this is the next step of what's going on. Yes. Now I fucking love it. They're going from comedy genius to comedy genius. And just, and by the way, is it like an origin story for Colonel Sanders? No.

I think it's a love story for Colonel Sanders. Well, they can, it can be one in the same. True that. I don't think it's an origin story. I, well, you know what? I haven't admittedly haven't watched it yet. I just do like, I, I watched like the teaser trailer for it. Yeah. And I liked that.

I'll say it. He looks great. I want more cross-branding like that. You will get more. Yeah, like TV shows about just paste picante salsa. Yeah, please. Right. Please. Yeah, we're like it always ends with the New York City line. We are in a fucking whirlwind of collabs. You will get everything your heart desires. Mr. Peanut, Sex and the City, Collabo. That will happen.

I want to tune in. Blake, you think this is going to start that? Like it's just going to become par for the course now? Oh, absolutely. Look, we're talking about it. Everybody was talking about it. That's how you get Twitter to trend. It's just, it's great. It's a great marketing ploy, but it's not real.

It's the new campaign. This is the new commercial campaign. Yes. Yeah. Adam is saying Colabo. We're just talking about products of the show, right? Like you're saying somebody said sex in the city and Mr. Peanut, but it wouldn't be sex and say, you know, it would just be Mr. Peanut, the show.

Exactly. But in the style. Right. It would be Valvoline, the sitcom. But you want to hear Mr. Peanut about him fucking people, right? Yes, of course. Mr. Get that nut. Well, you would. He has the monocle. He's nothing. Yeah.

He has the monocle. He has the cane. You know women are going to be after that nut. Okay. Yeah, the origin story of Mr. Peanut. Who plays Mr. Peanut and what kind of prosthetics? Martin Lawrence. He has to sit in the chair for like four hours. Martin Lawrence. It's either Martin Lawrence or I'll do it. Or Adam. Yeah, either one. If you had to sit in the chair for like six hours every morning and get done up like Mr. Peanut, you'd still be all about it? I would be more about it, Kyle. Oh.

Oh, man. What would you bring to the character of Mr. Peanut, Adam? A fun voice, that's for damn certain. What does it sound like? I'd say, hello. Hello.

Oh, I don't know. No. I'm thinking. I said, hello. No, I like this. I'm casting out him. I like this. Thank you. Wait a second. I'm clearing the air here. I was baby nut. Yeah, wait. What? I'm baby nut. What do you mean? I'm already in there. That's right. I forgot Dervs was the voice of the classic commercial Baby Nuts. Everyone's talking about it. The commercial everyone knows. Right.

From the Super Bowl that almost got canceled because of... The virus. Kobe Bryant circumstances back in the day. But when we were in Peru filming, every night Adam would go to drink beers and write more stuff for the episodes.

And I would just go crawl under a comforter in my hotel room and record different lines for Baby Not To Say. We were shooting Bad Ideas, the travel show that I did for Quibi. R.I.P. R.I.P. Quibi. We were in Peru shooting all kinds of insane shit. I think at that point we were doing the episode where we were on the side of a cliff in an ice cream truck. That's right. And-

After we were done, it was a fun shooting day because by the time the sun sets, you were done because you might just drive off the side of a fucking cliff. Yeah. So then we would go hang out, kick it by the river, drink some beers, talk with the crew, you know, chum it up. And Anders would have to go back to his room and just do baby nut voices. And I'd come back to my room and just hear him like doing fun little voices. Aw.

Is that what you sounded like? I haven't seen the commercials. What did you sound like? Yeah, can we hear it? Oh, dude. So there were like four days in a row where they just rung me out and I had to do like 40 different versions of stuff where it was like, do languages that don't exist. And then they come back to me and they'd be like, they kind of sounded too much like real languages and we don't want to offend anybody. Can you do everything? Verdy, verdy.

The Swedish chef. Yeah, dude. That is so frustrating when like you're doing voiceover. Because I also do a bunch of voiceover stuff. And when they don't know what they want. Yeah. And they're just like, they're just making you try a ton of stuff the whole time. Yeah. And you're like, I don't know what you want. So how am I supposed to give you what you want? Yeah, that's pretty wackadoodle. I told our manager, I go.

Hey, let them know the next time they call, there needs to be more money put in my bank and then I will continue. Yeah, man. Give them that baby nut. This ain't a motherfucking craft. It's a business. I'm making a fucking language over here. Yeah. You know what Adam's saying when they don't know what they're talking about. Odds are it's going to turn out sorry.

So like, it's not going to be great. And you're like, well, I might as well get paid more for this. It's the truth. There are lines in this business and you have to draw them because you will get squeezed by the motherfuckers in the suit. Yeah. I love it. You don't want to get squeezed. And you just know that like, it's not going to be a game changer for you if they're like fucking floundering. You got to go, oh, this is going to be bad. I should get paid. Because also at that point, you're technically writing.

the commercial when they're just asking for different reads and asking you to do you're technically writing. So it's like when they're asking you to improv the entire thing, right?

It is fucked up. I just did a commercial the other day in my backyard. I saw that. They just brought a ton of snow and put it in my backyard, and there was like a Coors Light snowman. Oh, I saw that too. I got to be in a Coors Light commercial in my backyard. It was the fucking best. That's so sick. That's pretty cool. Yeah. I'm like, I wish everything that I did, they just brought it to my backyard, and I just stumbled out from the warmth.

into the cold. That's what we're learning this year during COVID is like how much people, how, how, what you can get away with. Like I'm directing commercials in Korea and,

sitting on my couch in Los Angeles. I directed four NFL Apple commercials at the same time in four different cities from my couch. Nice. It's going to start to be a big power play, I think. Like, I do think this will stay around. Where, like, if you're a big actor or writer or whatever...

And you don't really want to go across town to meet some executives. So be like, let's zoom. Or if you're a big time executive and you're talking with some like nobody actor or writer, you'll just be like, why don't we zoom? But then there's going to be that weird middle where it's like we should meet in person because we're both kind of big, but kind of not. Some of it. I miss some of I.

I do. Admittedly, I do. Most of the time I'm like, this can just be done over Zoom. We don't need to travel to go see each other. But sometimes I'm like, I just want to get out of my fucking house and go eat a fucking, you know, midday burger. Right. So that's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's what I'm saying is that you will be like,

hey, I gladly come to Santa Monica and see you. And they'll go, I think we can do this over Zoom and you will know where you stand. And what? Then I got to change out of my sweatpants? I don't think so. Oh!

Oh, that's right. You always wear sweatpants now. I'm fully banking on this staying around. I mean, I'm leaving Los Angeles. You're investing in COVID. Yeah, you're out. I'm out. No more. The only reason I was staying here was to drive around and go to studios and talk about projects because I don't shoot anything here. Not to see your friends every once in a while. For sure. Copy that. Hey, we can Zoom. Well, no, I mean, I'm still going to come down and hang. We get it loud and clear.

I'm still coming down and hanging, all right? I'm crashing on your guys' couches. Let that be known. Yes. You should. But when it comes to the business, like, I haven't shot a frame here since, like, 2016 when we wrapped Workaholics. Like, I've been in Canada. Why don't you cry about it? And then it was like, okay, I can get out of here. You guys fucking railed me for the one I dropped. Fuck y'all. Go ahead. We didn't rail you. We just didn't hear it. We wanted to hear it. Hey, whatever. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Ta-ta. Well done. See, when it's nicely timed. I'm sick of being criticized, all right? I need all my borders to report to the fucking Insta comments and stand up for your boy, all right? Go ahead, Kyle. Dude, the border patrol. Oh, my God. That's my fan base, okay? And we're fucking hardcore, okay? Oh, what a day.

Where are my borders at? Dude, I'm a border whenever you play that, bro. Yeah, I'd say I'm a border. I'm a rugaloid. I'm a three points dancer. I would say I'm a border line border. Okay. I come and go because sometimes I just feel like you're asleep with the wheel and someone's going to get hurt. Oh, God. Okay. Are they bored? Can we just hash this out real quick? Because I got to know. Are they bored teenagers? Because that's your brand. Or are they the border patrol? No.

Ooh, I like that. I like Border Patrol. Oh. What makes them the patrol? I don't know. They like it. Just because we're patrolling the board, finding what's the best one to drop. Give me a hell yeah. Hell yeah, brother. Yeah. Okay, I get it now. They're bordering the patrol.

trolling the board the board but they're not teenagers either and I think that gets confusing because it's his company that's the board teenagers so I'm like maybe there's something else I don't know am I overthinking this? Blake's fans are all teenagers there's no adults respect this guy you have no power they turn 20 and they go oh man that was great they jump ship they jump ship there we go

Well, whatever. Yeah. Fuck LA, bro. I'm out of here. All right. There we go. Just say it. Yeah. Wait, like, so you lived in LA for how many years? 18 years I've been down here. And do you like it more than you dislike it?

I think for the past 10 years, I've been like, well, my business is here. Okay. You know what I mean? I don't necessarily love Los Angeles, but I love my business, and I love creating and doing all that. So, I mean, if you ask me if I like seeing my folks once every or three times a year, no. I mean, I'd rather kick it with them. I'd rather go to my mom's house for dinner. Sorry. I'm not...

I'm talking about the city of Los Angeles. Do you like it? Well, no. I mean, I'm out in Calabasas. I like Malibu. I don't...

I don't like L.A., really. You know what I mean? All right. Studio City was cool for a little bit. Stay out. Goodbye. Okay. Yeah. We don't want you, so bye. Well, yeah. See you. Bye. Later. Au revoir. Well, what are the things that pull some of us to remain in Los Angeles? I mean, it is hard to...

kind of know and remember what we loved during Corona. It certainly took away a lot of the stuff I liked, like live shows and fucking basketball. Oh, yeah. But, dude, talking to my folks who live in Chicagoland, they freeze their fucking asses off and sit inside during, like, coronavirus times and they're miserable. Whereas I'm out fucking hiking and shit. Yeah. And they're like,

Sounds awesome. And I'm like, it kind of is. Yeah, admittedly, like, I loved it here down in Orange County for the coronavirus times. I'm like, I'm always outside. It's awesome. Well, to be fair, there's no corona down there. That is true. There is a weird bubble. No one's wearing a mask? There is a weird bubble down here in Orange County. It's because it's hot. Can't survive in the heat. Yeah. Trump was right. It can't survive. It can't survive. That's right. Hell yeah. Oh, wow.

Oh, dude, every time, homie. But I know what you mean. LA's got some rough aspects about it, but I fucking dig it. At the end of the day, as we've discussed what that means. And coming from the Midwest, it's, I mean, yes.

Are you kidding me? California weather fucking rocks, and especially Southern California. It's the best. Southern California rules. You can't beat that. Yeah. It rocks, and there's a lot of great people out here. I mean, I know Kyle doesn't have any friends, but it's like there are really friendly people out here for sure. He went hiking a few months ago. We're his friends, Blake. We're his friends. What?

Yeah, no, if I moved, if I had to make the choice to go back to the Midwest and bank on that, I don't think I would do it. But really, like, me going five hours north back up to the bay where I grew up is not really...

it doesn't feel that different. Well, and also, I mean, admittedly, just in your situation where you, you got a little baby and your wife is from the Bay area as well, her family's up there and your family's out there. It just, it makes a lot of sense. Yeah. It totally clicked. And like, yeah, there's the whole zoom element with the industry just tipped it. And it was like, okay, it's undeniable. And also it's nice. Admittedly, I'm sure it's going to be nice for

to just go, hey, mom and dad, you want to watch the kid for a night while I go do a thing? Hello. Also, let's keep it real. It's going to be great for me to be like, okay, babe, I'm going to go down to L.A. by myself for a little bit. Yeah. See, that's what it's about. Yeah, here we go. No, no, no, no, no. Dad's night out. Yeah, dog. Drive down the five.

baby. Now I'm going to be the guy that comes down fucking hot. Like let's fucking go. Yeah. You're going to come in uncle Kyle, except for you. Like don't drink it or shit like that. So it'll be like, let's go eat some fucking salad. Let's stay up late. I want to play video games and drink Mountain Dew. You don't play video. You don't play video games though.

You don't even play video games. I'm going to start. I'm playing video games. I'm playing the bass. Let me come help you with your backyard. What do you need? Any kind of honeydews? I'm on it. Do you want help in your garden? Let's build a fence. Can I build you an orchard? Can I help you rebuild your deck? Hey, guys, I covered a watermelon in Vaseline. It's kind of fun and slippery to toss around. Can you catch it? Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know, man. I don't know if I can catch it. Dude, 100%. I don't know, man. Do you just want to go to a bar or something? No, I don't. I don't. I don't drink. I don't drink. No, I don't drink. No, sir. I don't like it. I feel like we could have just as much fun in the park. Have you been in a bar? When's the last time you've been in a bar, though? Not even drinking, but I'm saying to be there. I used to go in...

in a bar a lot when I was playing with the band because we played bars all the time. Right. And did you have one of those things under your pants wrapped around your thigh with like the spikes and you would pull that? What is this? Oh, oh. You would just pull. Do you not drink

You don't even want it and you pull on it and it digs into your thigh to kind of stop you from... Wait, that's a thing? I think like all Catholic people wear it. Oh, I'm Catholic though. I've never... Yeah, but you let into your carnal desires. Oh, baby. Yeah, that is true. I do let into my carnal desires. That is so true. Yeah, you're not very devout. Carnal desire. That's the Mario Lopez project. Hello, salute carnal desires.

No, it's an old throwback Catholic thing for priests when they would be... Like thinking about fucking kids and they're like, don't think about fucking kids. Tighten the chains.

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Pornhub, did you guys hear the news? What up with it? Okay. They deleted something like 30 million videos from Pornhub. Oh, that's good. That's a good thing. Yeah. They purged themselves of anything that might be even remotely. I guess there's a New York Times article about how there's Pornhub community now. Right. And so anyone can just put up their video and be like, yeah, this is me on Pornhub.

jerking off on a cantaloupe and then my fiance eating it or whatever. And they're like, there's no way to prove that these people are of age or there's not any weird like incest thing going on. Right. This is, this is a really great thing for society. Yes. How's that possible? How did they not have that to begin with? They just had to click something that was like, you're 18, right? I'm sure. I'm sure it was just that simple. We're just like, yeah, I say that I'm 18. So I'm 18. Yeah. It's the tech thing, dude.

It's like when you're forward on the tech, you're going to fucking, it's not going to be all perfect. It's like, just like YouTube, they were putting that Momo thing in the children's section and people were putting these fucked up things in the children's section. Yes. That was funny though. That's cool. Yeah.

The Momo thing was devilish. Kids would be watching videos. They're like, hi, it's a kid's show. And then all of a sudden this character called Momo would be like, kill your parents tonight. Kill your parents tonight. And then it would flash back to, and they'd be like, what? And then it would flash again like,

Shit in your sister's lunch. Shit in your sister's lunch. They'd be like, tonight when everyone's asleep, go outside and stand in the road. What? What? Yeah. When I was making the Momo videos, it was a bit. I could see out of the four of us, you'd be the one to just make some weird Momo videos. Yeah, Ders is Momo. Yeah. My nephew saw Momo. My brother would do it. My nephew saw Momo and was like, yeah, I know who that is. And it's like, what happened? You're doing the face really good right now, Kyle.

Oh, yeah, I know who that is. You did it perfect. I need to Google Momo. Is it like this? Yeah. It looks like that. Ders is perfect. He's spot on. He looks like the screen mask. Oh, fuck. This is scary as fuck. You saw Momo? Are you just looking at it? Yeah, this shit looks like some Junji Ito shit. Dude, yes. Oh, shit. Oh, that's terrifying. See, if you're a kid and you see that,

Your world has changed and you're convinced that that thing is everywhere. I mean, that just scared my soul. Just Blake just showing me now. If I was eight, nine years old. Oh, my God, dude. If I was eight, nine years old, for sure, I'd listen to it. I'm still going to send it. And I'd send it. You're still going to send it.

For sure, I'd have to shit in my sister's lunch pail. Yeah. So, yeah, that's the... When kids were just watching YouTube, that character would come in enough to subliminally fuck with them and then go away. And that was because they weren't policing all the uploads on YouTube. They can't. There's too many. Why isn't this a major motion picture? This is the scariest monster I've seen in years. Oh, God. Because I won't sell the rights.

Those are mine. Fuck, dude. This is really on it. For sure it's in the works. I mean, without a doubt, Blumhouse has like, they're going to invest, you know, $63,000 into the movie and make $200 million. I don't know. I think this lives on lifetime. I think you hear the true story of Momo. You have her... Origin, the love story. Yeah, it's the true story of Momo brought to you by Olive Garden. Yeah.

endless breadsticks and salad. When you're here, your family. Oh my God. Kill your family. Kill your family. But in the meantime, enjoy endless breadsticks and salad. When you're here, kill your family. Yeah. So like Pornhub is, is obviously not going to be as like forthright in cleaning up their act than YouTube. It's the porno industry. Like they're not like, wait, I'm sorry. Nobody. Let's get this straight. What? Nobody at Pornhub

is interested in underage pornography. I'm sure someone there is, but they're not. Why, why would they want that? That's so confident. Yeah. Daniel, the one dude, Daniel's in Daniel in the basement. They don't want it. That's bad for business. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, well, right. And so they finally deleted all of these things. But Adam said, how many videos is on there? Oh, it was like, they just like got rid of everything. They just said, oh,

Fuck it. And they went from like, I mean, we got to find the real stats here because I'm just shooting from the hip. I'm already on it. Isaac was telling me earlier today, our manager Isaac. Super into porn. Pornhub.

And that guy's into porno, dude. Yeah. Bro, he's so into pornhub. He's so into pornhub. Dude. Man, he loves it. But he was saying that they went from like 30 million videos. Now they only have like 3 million videos or something. Oh, man. That's not enough, huh? Well, dude, for real. You're right, Durz. But.

By the way, I was scared when Chloe told me, because she told me the other night about this too. She was like, yeah, they got rid of all the videos on Pornhub. I'm like, oh yeah, that's crazy. Immediately, I'm like, I have to go to the bathroom. I just started looking. Guess what, guys? There's enough. There's enough videos. You're not going to notice. It's like back in the day when you used to put a VHS in to watch pornos

like you would have that, that warning that was like, everybody is consensual in this. Then we entered this whole time where it was like, none of that shit. It was just whatever you see goes, we upload it from the phone. It goes on there. That's it. What is that called? Gonzo. Now we're getting back to, you got to prove and sign the waivers. You need a script. You got to have the proof of concept. But there, but there was even bullshit back then. Cause what's her name? Tracy Lord was like, I think she was,

two and a half when she was doing it? Yeah, she was two and a half years old. Oh my God! No, but she was like 16 or 15 and then they had to like burn all those tapes. So it's been happening. Wow. But this is a mass scale. This is great. 13.5 million videos down to a little under 3 million videos. Dude. That's a lot.

Videos gone. But that's not that. Hang on. That's not because they were all child porn. They're basically saying we can't corroborate. I don't know the fuck. Confirm whatever. So they were like, they're out. Yeah, right. So all those people who got their videos deleted, it's actually kind of sad because some of those are just small business owners. You know what I mean? And the worst part is some of them are probably legit. Right. They're probably great pornos. But I mean, the small business of it all, they're no longer getting paid per click. Small business of it all. That's where the tragedy is.

Right, right. And now your video vixens, your big box vixen video. Right. Now we're back to vivid owning the industry. Right. Big porno. Big porno strikes again. Big porno is back. Big porno is back, baby. Ah.

Fuck. Well, you know, I mean, it's fine. They're just going to go over to OnlyFans. They're still going to send it. Come on now. Well, yeah, there's always going to be a place. Hang on. And let's be clear. Not that we're rooting for this. No. Oh, wow.

I'm just saying, Adam, it sounds like you're instructing everyone. Like, it's okay. They're going to be at OnlyFans. You can have that way. I'm saying yes, probably. I'm letting them know. I wonder if Pornhub actually has like a place where you can download. I'm going to go ahead and pivot because I'm saving you, Adam. No, no, no.

no, no, no. I'll double and triple down. What are you double and tripling down on? What are you doing? If you, if you have like, let's say you're into the community aspect of the pornos. Yes. And you liked this couple. Yeah. They're probably going to go to OnlyFans. Just go to there and look for it. Okita.

But it sounds like you're saying, hey, if you're still looking for underage porno, head to OnlyFans. Right. You gotta be really direct here. But we've established that it really wasn't about the underage porno. It was about you couldn't establish if they were of age. Right. But I think the subject got muddy. Go over to OnlyFans. I think that

they do a better job of confirming because you have to set up a whole account and it's more of a thing. It's more of a process, it seems. But all these people who got their videos taken down, they just have to prove that everyone was consensual and of age and then they can put them right back up. Yeah, I bet the vetting process wasn't that great over at Pornhub. I'm sure it was nothing. I'm sure they were just like, yeah, I'm still going to send it. I'm still going to send it. It was just that dude Daniel like, okay. Right.

You're good. They probably have a button you can click now when you're a community member that's just like, here's the boilerplate legal paperwork that you need in order to post. Hey, they're clicking my button. I mean, imagine how warped your brain is if you're the guy that has to look at every video and make sure that everyone is of age. Like, your brain is melted. Like, you close your eyes and you just see buttholes winking. Yeah.

Blake's just shaking his head. Blake's like, no, he's good. I mean, isn't it like a bunch of like college age kids that are like, it's their side job kind of thing where it's like, yeah, man, it's pretty sick. You just bring snacks and you just click porn or not. And like, I think it'd be fun for like three hours. And by that fourth hour, you're like, oh man. Well, Adam, you're a human. Yeah. Right. Thank you. Some people are like just killing time. They're like, dude, it's fucking sick. Then we just go skateboard after seven hours to

Deciding what's porno or not. I'm hungry. Yeah, how do you regulate this? It's like the kid who would – when you were like dissecting the frog in class and they'd be eating the pastrami sandwich while they're doing it. Remember that guy? Yeah. You want to name names? Pat. Yeah, who was it? Remember that guy. It was Kyle. It was Pat, bro. Oh, Pat. Of course Pat did that shit. I like porno as much as the next guy. I just don't want to watch so much of it that then you're like –

I can you just shit on my chest? This is the only way I can ejaculate now. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how it gets there. If you go too far down the rabbit hole, if you watch a lot of porno, though, the only way you're going to be able to ejaculate is by your own hand. Hello. What? Because you're fucking jerking off the whole time. So like, you know what? It's funny. You should say that. I always find sex with my wife way better. Yeah. Me too. Me too. Yeah.

My hand is a distant second. Yeah, I took a leap right there. I know what you're saying. I just am wondering. I don't know. I took a leap. We're all just wondering. That's what this pod is about, is wondering aloud and stumbling through touchy subjects. Yes.

This is important, guys. You're right. This is important. You know what? This is important. We just don't want to get that weird. No. Do you guys want to hear some shit? This is kind of pertaining to the technical difficulties that we had at the beginning of the show. Okay. Please. I love tech shit. So right now...

I couldn't use my laptop, guys and gals at home and humans. And humans and aliens. So I had to plug into my iPad, which is now at 4% battery. And I don't know how deep we are in the podcast. We're about halfway. We're about 35 minutes deep. I guess I'll be bowing at you.

Oh, so you have to... Right. Because you can't charge because there's only one port. They still only have one port? Yeah. Steve Jobs, come back from the fucking grave already, pal. We need you. Give us another port. Dude, that's so wackadoodle, man. What's up with that shit? Goodbye. Yeah.

I mean, so anyway, I'll let you guys know. Or I'll just disappear, I guess. Yeah, you'll just disappear. Ride to the end. I'm just giving a heads up to everyone at home who you can turn it off when I'm done. You know there's going to be some people that just jerk their car into a tree when Durs leaves. They're going to be so fucking pissed. Yeah. Sorry, RIP to those people. We can also just always take breaks and recalibrate.

Can we? It's not live, guys. It's not live. What? It's not a live show. I'm sorry. You want to take a break? You're trying to take break. What? So we're going to sit and wait for Ders to charge his iPad. We're not doing it. We're not doing that, Blake. But what are they going to do then? They're going to cut it and then put a commercial in and then make it seem like it was last time or something? Uh,

That's actually a great idea. Brilliant. I don't want our fans, the aruguloids, the three-point stancers, the boarders. Border patrol. The board patrol. I don't want them. I don't want to betray their trust like that. Okay, Blake? Yeah. Okay. You are so dumb. So wait, let me get this straight, though. We would just be able to take a break and he charged it and then they would cut the audio and put a commercial in.

there is this breaking your brain i just don't i guess i don't understand how podcasts work i mean look at and the producers are now on here they're like yes that's what you can do guess what we're not doing it that's not loose and fun and magic like what we do every week well then why don't we just go live unedited i like i thought that's what we were doing you thought we were coming to you live do y'all want to take a break and charge a little is what our producers no we don't want to do

that no this is good radio we're loose we're magical and when i'm gone you guys can uh you know probably just you can talk about me are you talking about me you're probably gonna shit you're probably gonna shit all over me when i'm gone you're just gonna be talking about me fuck you asshole yes thank you arnold you can talk about whatever just keep it going

Oh, thank you for blessing us with talking about whatever. Oh, thank you, Ders. Can we talk about whatever? Wow, thank you so much for allowing us to talk about whatever while you're gone. Jesus Christ. Yeah, you're welcome. I'm sorry. I'm just upset that you're leaving early. Like, that's...

freaking me the fuck out. Guys, we're at 3% now. Make it count. Make this last 3% count. Make it count. 3%. Should we talk about swimming real quick before I get out of here? Whatever you want, Anders. It's your fucking show. You're on borrowed time right now, so please, just whatever Anders would like to talk about. Okay. I will say, you guys like cake? Of course. Goodbye.

Yeah, let's talk about the band. Come on, man. Let's talk about Cake the Band. Oh, I love Cake the Band. Is Cake the Band underrated? No. I don't know about underrated. I think they're rated right where they're going to be. I think they're rated just fine. I will say that when my – I really like Cake, and I liked Cake as a kid, the band. Yummy. And also Cake was pretty – I'm more of a pie guy. Yeah. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. I did not know that about you. Yeah, I'm more of a pie guy. But we'll talk about that when Ders goes on. When my dad told me that he loves Cake, the band, that's when I knew that my dad had awesome musical taste. Like before that, I'm like, yeah, he likes all old guy rock. He's like fucking Bob Seger rocks. And I'm like, sure. He does. Sure he does.

Yeah, okay. He's like, Aerosmith rips. I'm like, yeah, they're fine, I guess. I don't know. And then he's like, I like cake. I feel like I took them for granted. Yeah, I think that's probably seems about right with your character. I disagree. Took cake for granted, man. But cake always was going the distance. But if they come on now, I'm like,

This fucking band is good. And they were doing weird shit. And I don't think they got their full due. I don't know. I don't think their sound transferred. I'm not a huge fan of...

But look at your face as you do it. You're smiling. See? But you're wiggling and you're smiling. It makes me turn into fucking Momo, dude. I'm not trying to get down like that. They had great bass and great horns. They were like borderline. They were like ska rock because they had a killer horn section. He's going the distance. He's going four speed. They weren't ska. They had a horn section. It did. They were much. I believe that they were in the same vein as like a Primus.

They feel like they could have been on the same bill as Primus and everyone would have been happy. Way more accessible. But Primus didn't fuck with horns. That's why I'm like, they're like ska. For sure. They were heavy on bass lines is I think what Adam is picking up on here. Yeah. They have a groove. Nothing compares. I would say Primus seemed a little angrier, a little less accessible. A little more metal. A little more metal, a little more speedy. These dudes were just...

more alt rock and just experimental in a fun way. That's like, Hey, look, uh, there's a fucking phone dialing in the middle of this song. Do you appreciate me? Or is it going to take 20 years? I love that Durst loves cake. I love that Durst loves cake. Yeah. I love that. This was your 3% with Durst. Yeah. I like, he had this in his back pocket ready to go. He's like, I'm going to wait until it gets signed about 3% and then fire off this cake reference. Yeah.

Cake is, yeah, I think they're rightly rated. People from the 90s, my favorite era. Blake's favorite era. Won't shut up about the 90s. Have a soft spot for them, but other than that, I think you leave them there. Right. Where were they from? Where was Cake from, guys? 2%? Bro. Bro.

I don't know. I really don't know. Are they a California band? They sound like they might have been from Cleveland or something, if I had to guess. I feel like our manager would know. Where's Cake from, Isaac? Cake is actually from Irvine. I went to high school with him and McG. They used to work at the Arco. Actually, if you heard their first album, they were fucking actually punk. Sacramento, dude. They're NorCal. They're NorCal. Oh, so they're Sagtown, baby. You changing your tune there? No, not at all.

Sacktown and back down. Wait, Blake, why do you think you just don't, you just don't, you can't, they don't go? They don't go as hard as you would expect them to go now? They don't go. Oh, I'm sorry, Blake. They're not, I don't know. What are the kids saying? They're not litty? I don't know. Wait a second. I like a girl with a short skirt and a long,

Long jacket. You are so dumb. Yeah, I hate that. No. I'm like, I'm into it. I wasn't into it at the time. I was all hip hop. And then now I'm like. Somebody kill me, please.

All right, baby. Yes, give it up for Sandman. Sandler represent. You went from hip-hop to cake, and that was your intro to alternative rock music? No. What I'm saying is I was mostly listening to hip-hop then. Kind of skipped most of alternative rock. I think I was listening to Soundgarden. Oh, yeah, baby.

Mostly sound writing. I love that. But then like recently in the last five years, whenever Cake comes on, I'm like, oh yeah, from fucking MTV when I would just be watching videos and you can kind of pick up everything that's going on. And I'm like, I'm not turning the station. Well, my musical taste, as we all know, has not evolved that much.

since 8th grade. Diarrhea! And so I'm still all, I listen to Cake once a week. By choice or is it just on the playlist or something? I play like, I listen to a lot of Spotify and then I'll just do like alternative rock playlists and then there's like 200 songs and it'll blast off some Cake. Yeah. And Primus and that's probably why I was like, yeah, they're like kind of the same. They're super high rated. They come on all the time. Right.

Lithium. Dude, if you don't start repping all lithium gear, I don't know. Lithium? On Sirius XM. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is lithium? Lithium, I believe it's named after a Nirvana song. Yeah, it's a Nirvana song. But it's the 90s alternative rock station on Sirius XM. Oh, I thought you said rocking lithium gear. Like they have...

merch that I should swag. Yeah. Merch. I assume. Oh yeah. Okay. Or just like a belly buster tat that says lithium across. That'd be so fresh. Ooh, that's kind of hot. Adam commit, bro. I feel like I'm pretty committed. I don't know how, I mean, other than like rocking merch, I feel like, uh, well, he just said you could get a tat. Well, does green day know you bought the house next to them on purpose? Yeah.

I socked them down so I could be friends. I have a nautical star tattoo. Yeah, that's very cool. That's true. And if that's not more 90s pop punk era, I don't know what is. That's true. You are repping. I'm repping Blake's favorite decade more than anyone, I think. You've immortalized it.

It's true. You're going the distance. I'm going for speed. You're going for speed. You're all alone. All alone. In a time of need. In a time of need. And that is a cover, right? Or no, their cover was... I Will Survive. Oh, yeah. I Will Survive. But I think Going the Distance might be a cover as well. Is that? No way. There's no way somebody else did a song that's called Going the Distance and it was so specific. I could be making that up. Wait a second. Oh, yeah? No one's ever said...

going the distance a idiom but that's like a story of a race car it's like so like out there and strange if that's a cover i will be blown away it's a very weird song i don't think the shangri-la's were singing that in the 50s spiders oh damn and on that goodbye there we go blake

There we go. Thank God. Fucking dead weight. Jesus Christ. Yeah, for real. God, can you believe it? We're like, we give you 3% to go. And he goes, was cake overrated? He's not even talking about the baked good. No, he's talking about the band. I'd rather talk about Adam's love for apple pie. Admittedly, I thought that was a fun little tangent we went on. You know.

I think we've been talking over each other a lot in this podcast. I don't know if this is our best one. I'll say it. I don't think this is our best cast. Oh, well. Wait a minute. Hold on a second. What's up, dude? What's on your mind? Yeah, what was it, Ders? What's going on? Give us notes. Give us notes like the director of the podcast, please. Okay, here we go. I think we came in. It was fun and dandy, but we were speaking over each other a lot. I was really quiet. We're not giving each other a lot of wiggle room to talk.

go out on a limb and then kind of go in on each other, which I feel I know the three-point stancers enjoy that. Rugaloids like that, too. And the rugaloids like that as well. How are the borders? How are the borders like in that, Blakey? Just shut your big yapper!

That's what they're thinking. That's what they're thinking. So they don't want to listen to podcasts? No, they just want me to do random board drops the whole time. Oh, sure. They like the boards. Yeah, okay. Oh, wow.

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I can't stop that. Yeah, I mean, though. Who is that? Is that Godsmack or something? Isn't it Disturbed? Disturbed, yeah. Disturbed. And Godsmack was a, I'm doing the best I ever did. Go away. Yeah, every song they sang was about going away. Every single chorus would be something like, leave me alone, go away. Go away. I'm doing the best that I can.

That's a pretty legit lyric right there. I'm doing the best that I can. Now go away. Yeah, dude. Okay, well, just stop poking me about this. I'm doing what I can. It's just like every 14-year-old boy talking to his mom. Just like, I'm doing the best I can. Go away. Or it was like the anthems you would sing right when you got off work that you couldn't say to your boss. So just like, I'm doing the best I ever can. Go away.

What'd you say to me? What? What'd you say to me, employee? I didn't say anything. Uh, nothing. I didn't say anything, all right. I'm just singing a song, dude. Chill out. What a weird time in music, too. It was just so fucking angsty. Like, you know what I mean? There was just so much just, uh, wah.

Oh, yeah. So much. Yeah, I think there were lots of, like, fucking, like, Join the Army commercials on, like, Comedy Central, and we were always just being told to go out and go wild.

Fucking drink Mountain Dew and go. True. Yeah. Well, no, I think it was drink. At that point in time, in Blake's favorite decade in the 90s, it was drink Surge and go unleash the beast. There we go. And go. Surge was huge. What the heck happened to Surge? It's gone. Yeah. They just like folded up shop. Huh.

Who owned it? I don't know if it was a Coca-Cola company or whatnot. I don't know the inner workings. Surge was, for the listeners that are too young and don't know Surge, it was essentially to go against Mountain Dew, right? And it was like...

And before energy drinks were a thing, it was like it's got more caffeine than Mountain Dew. Surge, unleash the beast. And it had that commercial where the kid like slammed a Surge can down and then he goes, Surge! And then all the kids like are sprinting for the Surge. And then there was like – it was like the first viral videos of kids like attacking each other for Surge cans. Yeah.

And in my middle school, I remember they put in surge vending machines all over the place. That was a bad idea. It was a fucking horrible idea. There was fistfights over surge. Kids got like their ass kicked over fucking 20-ounce bottles of surges. Teenagers are having heart palpitations. It's just bad. Fuck.

fully pouted out. Admittedly, dude, I've been going hard lately on my caffeine intake and I'm also like... Wait, what? You already go hard every day, boy boy. You're going harder? I'm going harder. I'm trying to like slow it down a little bit because I'm having a hard time going to sleep. Like I'm, it's like, it's like 2, 3 a.m. and I'm still, the heart's just like...

Yeah, brother. Why are you going deeper into the calf? What's going on in your... Well, I'm trying... If you guys have been following me on the gram, I am a fitness influencer. Always. I love your shit. Yeah, thank you. And I'm influencing... I'm influencing big time right now. And I'm just trying to get out there and really fucking bring it. And also, I noticed that I've been... I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh at you. It's okay. And...

I've been adding to my collection of fat on my neck and my body. Right. So I think that was post Thanksgiving where I went a little – I went ham on the ham. Okay. And I've added to my collection of fats. So I'm trying to take that off. But while – from taking that off, I have to –

really double and triple down on my caffeine in order to get the energy to go out there and truly bring it in the streets or with my cycling and with my cross fitting. Okay. So right now you're, uh, influencing people to what, to get fit. Yeah.

for overall fitness lifestyle, but see, the thing is, Blake, it can't just be all fitness because I follow a lot of fit people on the Instagrams, the Jeremy Scott Fitnesses, the Ryan Fishers, those guys. Get them out. Get them out. They're beefcakes. And these guys live and breathe fitness. That's not me. Good. That's not the people that I'm influencing. I want people that are like, yeah, I like working out. I like, uh,

the chin fat, but I also like beers and bratwursts and cheeseburgers. And caffeine. Well, yeah, I thought the other day you fucking nailed it. Like, I was like, oh, this is the influencer. This is the fitness influencer that I'm following is the guy who's out there in the streets. Yep, pedaling, cycling. Because he went a little hard on the burgers and the beers.

Yeah, had a big weekend. I thought that angle, this is just a little thought from me, I thought that angle was very good, very universal, and I feel like it's something you should run with, bro, because you're not going to... I don't run. I have bad knees. Well, you should go with, but like, yeah, but...

you know, you're not going to be those influencers that just have like a ton of fucking no body fat. You know, they're just like muscle. You're not, you're a comedy guy first and foremost. So play to your strength, play boy. Uh, maybe, or maybe they're just, uh, haven't realized,

really hot sex with other super hot people. Not sure exactly. And I'll never get there. I just don't think that my body, I, I'm not willing to not eat a cheeseburger or not have some French fries or not eat the pizzas. You gotta live. You know? I think that's exactly the type of guy that I want to follow. But I do work out every goddamn day like a fucking lunatic out there. Yeah.

in my bangerang garage where I'm out there throwing medicine balls around, whipping the battle ropes up and down, doing the pull-ups, swinging the kettlebells. That's sick. I want to applaud anybody in this quarantine who has gotten fit, stayed fit. Just good for you guys staying dedicated to the craft. Yeah. It is a – I wouldn't say disappointing, but it's like when you see someone that is –

lost a ton of weight and you're like, and everybody's like, oh my God, how'd you do it? You're so great. But then I'm at a point that like, my body won't lose a ton of weight. It's basically, I can lose like 10 pounds maybe. It would be the max that I can lose. And it is frustrating when you get down to those last 10 pounds and you're like, well, I wish I could just take out these stupid fucking 10 pounds.

But it won't go. And it is frustrating. And people send me that workaholics gif of me when I'm like gripping my fat and I'm going, stupid fat. I hate myself. I hate myself and my body as I'm like smiling through. And I'm like, oh, that's a – there's a reason we wrote that show. Do you want to unpack that? Like where your body dysmorphia spawns from or – Yeah, let's go deep. You know.

You know, I don't think I'm that morphed. I think I'm the right amount of... Dismorphed. Yeah, I don't think... I think I'm the right amount of chubby, you know? I think you're perfect. Thank you, Blake. Well, I don't even think you're chubby. Yeah, I think you're not fat at all, actually. Fitness! Yeah, I think you're right in the wheelhouse of a very physically fit human. Yeah. God damn it, guys.

And this is why we cut Ders loose. Get the negativity out of here. Yeah, let's get down to real shit, man. And the three of us will ground and pound some compliments out on each other. This is why we lived together and he did not live with us. This is what it was like

At night. Yep, that's right. The positivity triangle. Yes. Right. We're all about building. Yeah, building. And you know what? The house was weaker when we added that fourth corner. I agree. Yeah. I agree. The triangle is the strongest. Structural shape. Structural shape. Yes. Yes. It goes back to the ancient Egyptians, I believe. It does. Pyramids. It is. They knew what they were doing. Can I say, Kyle?

Today, you look like Dave Grohl. And I think Dave Grohl's a really handsome looking guy. And just specifically today, a lot of days I'm like, Kyle doesn't look like Dave Grohl. But today, Dave motherfucking Grohl. All right. That's cool, man. Yeah. You're aging like you lived a very hard rock style life. That's how you're aging. And I think it's beautiful. Yeah.

That's cool, man. That is cool. I love Dave Grohl. I love Dave Grohl. Super talented. Super talented and nice guy. He just always feels like when he's doing like a Sonic Highways and stuff that he's just so happy to be in the craft that he's in and he's been given a gift with every moment he gets to play music and experience music. And I just think that that is...

I know you're not complimenting my attitude. You're complimenting my looks. But I'm kind of taking it as a complimentary towards my attitude. Yeah, you can take it however you want. I meant it a certain way, but you can definitely take it however you would like. And I hope to always have that attitude towards my craft of filmmaking. Absolutely. Absolutely. Stay passionate. And I'm not cutting my hair because fucking –

Why would I? Why would you? And let's see how long that hair is exactly. It's kind of blending into your shirt. It is getting long. It looks really nice. That is getting long, isn't it? I think Ders would probably say he hates it and it's ugly and it looks a little like unkept. But I think it looks really nice. Yeah, I personally think it looks great. Ders would definitely mention that it looks like a rat's nest and it looks disgusting and it looks stringy. And you're definitely balding. This is what Ders would say.

Right. No, I appreciate you talking for him, but I know you're the triangle of positivity. You know that I think it's great, but Durs would definitely say that you, that it, that it looks like you're balding and it's coming down and it's stringy and you can see your scalp through the strands. Right. This is, this is why it's great that Durs isn't on the podcast right now, because that would throw me into a fucking like,

fire sale mode and I would try and rip them down and, you know, just be mad. And then I would actually carry that with me for the next couple of days and I would feel ashamed. And I'm just glad that he's not here to say that. Honestly, thank God Durst isn't here to say that.

Cause that would, that would have been really, and then, and then Blake and I were kind of put on our heels and we're going like, Whoa, should we stand up for our friend Kyle? No, I know. Yeah. But we know we got to have the podcast and can't just be us like defending you the whole time. But Durs would probably be talking about your big forehead. I don't know. He probably would be going in right now about your forehead and how you can land a plane on the,

Dude, I know. I've heard it all before from that motherfucker. I know. Your hair used to come down inches, inches and inches down south on your forehead. It keeps just creeping back is what Ders would say. I think Ders would... This is like... I know. I've heard it all before from that fucking asshole. He's a real prick. Yeah. And I'm just happy that you guys are my old roommates and my current best friends. Yeah, absolutely. And you were there to not...

You wouldn't say that to me. No. You would not ever. We wouldn't say that. Not from your own mouth or your own mind. No, absolutely not. No. But I don't like it when he does that in front of us. And I don't speak up because, you know, it's just that's the way our group works and we got to kind of keep...

The waters still don't want to make waves, but... That's right. Yeah. And that's in any great friendship group. You know, there's ebbs and flows. There's yins. There's yangs. And I know Durs would say that you look like you... Like, he would have taken the Dave Grohl thing and kind of spun that out to, like, yeah, grungy. Like, gross. You look dirty.

You look like you've lived a really hard life and you went through periods, real periods of alcoholism and drug addiction. Right. And that's what Ders would have said probably and I –

I hear all this and I hate that prick, but like honestly, like, you know, having heard all of this and heard you, I think you could stand up for me every once in a while, you know, as a friend, like you could. But especially you, Blake, I've known you for so long. I know, I know, I know, I know. Like we go back to third grade. I mean, it's like. We go back a solid 18 years now, Kyle. That's a long time. That is a human adult person. Yes, Adam, but I have.

No, it's not since third grade. Yeah, that is true. Third grade is longer technically, right? Well, it's obvious and I feel like Ders would chime in and say yeah like do basic math Adam like you know like that's obvious but Kyle have a much stronger bond. Ders would kind of go in on like whether I know basic math or if I'm an idiot or if I'm the dumbest friend and

And then he'd kind of spin that off onto you being the dumbest friend, Blake, and how fucking stupid you are. And then, yeah, he would go in on both of your stupidity and your ignorance and how you're lucky that you're comedians because otherwise you'd just be the dumbest people in the room. Yeah, just failures as far as humans. Durs is classically going after that kind of stuff, going after your intellect because he thinks that you are not well-read. Yes. You are not...

You do not know. And he would be – probably would be right as far as reading books because the last book I read – actually, I was going to shit on myself in my – I've been reading, Ted. Really? Okay. Congrats. I've been reading books. I've read like six books over quarantine. Oh, wow. I was saying like – Oh, my gosh.

which now it's been like 10 months, so that's actually not that many books. Yeah, that's slow. But at the beginning of it, I was like, oh, I'm going to read a book a week. And then I read so goddamn slow. I'm like, I'm going to read a book a week.

I'm going to read a book every like month and a half. I will say you used to fucking crank out books, dude. When we lived together, you would crank out every biography. Yeah, I like biographies. Of every fucking comedian. Uh-huh, I do. And you were, dude, you did some fucking research, bro. Yeah, man. You got to see what they did so you know what to do and what not to do, you know? My homie is learned. You got to be up to date. What to do?

Cocaine and heroin. What not to do? Oh, baby. Also cocaine and heroin. See, it's a double-edged sword. Yeah, you can die from it. You have to do it until your hair gets stringy and you start to fucking wither away. You lose a good 10 years of your life, but then bounce back and have a nice little fucking story, you know? Yeah, so to whimper out on that note.

Any compliments, take backs or giveaways? What's the third one? Compliments, take backs or apologies. Apologies. Yeah. I like giveaways though. Yeah. So if you want to give away something. Yeah.

Let's add giveaway. I have a couple Jolly Ranchers here that I'd like to give away to the guy who guesses my favorite color. Okay, very good. Is it green? You got it. It's coming your way. Nice. Okay. Expect that in the mail. I would like to give an apology to Anders for putting a lot of words in his mouth, although those were words that he for sure would say.

Without a doubt, 100%. He would say all that stuff. But was it... He's a prick. Was it up to us to put it in his mouth?

It kind of was. But, you know, I'm still—I'm still in the waters, as Blake so eloquently said earlier. Thank you. And I'm going to still the waters and apologize to him. Yes. And I want to compliment both of you for just enduring the abuse that Ders has wrought on this group for years now. Jesus Christ. Thank you. And also, does he even have a huge fan base like the three of us have? We have the aruguloids. We have the three-point stancers.

Blake has the Borders. Yeah. Durs has the League of Extraordinary Assholes, but... Oh, the League of Extraordinary Assholes. And you know what? Actually, I would like to take that back.

what I just said because I think there's a lot of extraordinary assholes out there. There are. There are. You know what I mean? It's great when you find a group of dudes, like a dude crew like we have, there's always somebody that is just kind of an asshole. Yeah. And I think they're all in Durza's camp.

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, the abuse he has caused us, you know, it's like the pressure on it. And we've come out diamonds is what it's a pressure cooker, baby. That's right. That is correct. And I'm not the dumbest friend, Durst. Yeah. And once again, Blake, so eloquently said.

I'd like to compliment Blake on his use of the board and his use of words and just his hair and, like, you know, just being homies with me since we were in third grade, way longer than anybody else on the pod. Absolutely. I feel connected to you in a way that...

Should last lifetimes. God, do you want to fuck Blake? No, no. Well, I already... Did I fuck him or did I marry him? No, I fucked you. I married... Yeah, I want to marry him, bro.

This is from the game that we played, Fuck, Marry, Kill. You didn't actually fuck and marry. Of course not. You guys, go back on the pod. It's a classic episode. Oh, no. There he is. There's Dersi's back. He's in the car. And we're just wrapping up. Guys, I just want to apologize for my battery dying. Hey, it's okay. Hey, there it is. All right. Because this is the apology segment, so you made it up. Yeah, you entered back in at the very end of the pod. Yeah.

Uh, we're doing apologies. We're doing take backs. We're doing the other one. Compliments. Can I take back the whole cake?

You can't. That is forever. No, the cake thing, Rick, we were off to the races with that thing, dude. I like 3% left and you just hit us over the head with a fucking grand slam knockout punch. Thank you for that. That was cake, the alternative band. Thank you for that. Thank you, Anders. All right. Well, apologies I've given, but I just want to give compliments for seamlessly letting me back into the podcast on my phone.

While I drive. Awesome. All right. Great. Yeah. Hey, and we're glad that this podcast is something that you're able to do from your car. I know the rest of us sort of have all this equipment set up and we're all, you know, fully charged up, ready to go. And we're just happy that you're able to do it on the go. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, I'm not a fucking idiot. Time is money and I got to be places. So I bob, I weave. But on a serious note, does it sound that much worse? Yeah, it sounds horrible. Yeah, I think it doesn't sound that bad. I think it sounds okay. Oh, I think it adds an edge to it. Should we all be driving when we do this? Yeah.

We should definitely have the driving episode, I feel. I think if we get it sponsored by a car, we each get in like a Scion. We take a road trip and talk. It'll be perfect. Elon, where you at, baby? Come on, Tesla. Yes. Anders, I would like to compliment you for all the words that we knew that you would say to Kyle when you left. Yes. You left, and we – me and Blake –

spoke for you which i know that you are 100 okay with yeah we spoke we spoke for you and uh you and kyle do have a lot of beef and you do have a lot to work out um but uh i'd like to compliment you for uh giving us that ability to speak on your behalf yeah thank you honestly i don't even want to know i just want to listen to it when it comes out in a few weeks or whatever

Yeah. Okay. Well, you were just pretty standard issue prick. Yeah, you were kind of right down the middle. Hey, Kyle. Yeah. People like me keep people like you alive, okay? You would have jumped off the bridge a long time ago if I didn't give you tough love, pal. Okay, get in here. Give me a hug. Oh, boy. There we go. All right. That is true. Kyle definitely would have killed himself. All right. And we'll see you next week on... This is important. This is important.

Yes, take us out. All right. It's so good. This is important. All right. Now we're talking. Bye, bitch. Bye, bitch. Hear that? Pumpkin. That's fall calling. And the pumpkin spice latte is back at Starbucks. From that first sweater to late autumn weather, it's all a fall in just one sip. Order ahead on the Starbucks app.

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