Ep 22: A Message Specifically For Taylor Swift
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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Hey, guys. We here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese. It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it. What? I know, I'm crazy. Yeah, dude, it's hella good. You gotta try it. With so many unique recipes...

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today on This Is Important. You can fit your dick in the gas tank, bro. Come on. Bitch better have my honey. I squeeze, I cut off the stream, and then I let it go back on, and then I do it to like a beat. I go, small cock comedy, grandpa. Buckle up.

And we're back. You guys, let's freaking do this. Yeah, man. Let's go today. Oh, let's do it. Let's go. Are you going to go? Can I say I do hate that? I see all the time. Everyone does it now. And I think it started with LeBron. And I think I might have shit on this in the podcast before. But when people go, let's go.

It is crazy. It bugs me. It honestly, and I don't get that bugged by a lot of things, but I'm like, you're very unbugged. I'm unbugged. You can't bug this. You can't bug this guy. I'm bugged by that. I am bugged by that. Let's go. It's the response to everything now. Everything. The intensity of it, I think would get very annoying and it is annoying, but I did work on set with some guys who very subtly were like, let's go. And I did dig it. Well,

If you're literally going somewhere. Yeah, they were on their way to go somewhere. Yeah, if you're like, hey, guys, let's go. Let's go. We're ready to go. Guys, the van's running. Yeah, let's go. When it's like you sink a cornhole shot. Right. And you go, let's go! Or the kids opening up their Christmas presents on Instagram. They were like getting a PS5. They're like, got the PS5. Let's go. About a Christmas gift. Let's go. Let's go.

My parents are rich. Your poor ass parents can't go anywhere. We get it. So go. This is a thing I've always wanted to kind of like step out, but then I just forget because it's not that important. But this is important. It is important. It is. It is. This is important. So right now it's let's go. Right. Right. True. Before that, it was that's what I'm talking about. And that is what I'm talking about. Was it? Yeah. Before that, at some point, it was like booyah. Yeah, booyah-ka-shaw. Mm.

Sure, yeah. Booyah had a day. What is the history of that exclamation sports thing in chronological order starting? It goes, are you starting newer or older? Are we talking Blake's favorite decade, the 90s? Do you think it started there? Do you think it started? Where are we starting? 80s. I don't know where it started. I'm saying let's start with let's go and work our way backwards. Okay.

Let's go. Let's go. It starts there. Let's go. Let's go. Was that what I'm talking about right before that? I think so. I think that's what I'm talking about. Because people used to just say that. They could have not said anything, but they would go, that's what I'm talking about. And that's a long one too. Yeah, that is. And also, they might not have been talking about anything. No, you were just doing it. That person wasn't talking shit. They were silent for 30 minutes.

Then a thing happens, then that's what they're talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. You're like, hey, Jeff, you didn't say shit, dude. You weren't talking about anything. Literally, you were silent. You're playing chess. You're playing chess, and you haven't said a word in minutes. But wait, sorry. I think before Let's Go, it was just, woo, woo.

Like it was the Ric Flair woo. Like people were doing that instead of speaking for a while. That's true. I mean, does a high five count in this? I feel like maybe the high five was the big bang. No, no, no. It has to be an oral exclamation. Verbal? The high five could be where it started. That was the big bang. Like that could be back in like the 50s. No, it's for sure just like some old timey like a snickerdoodle.

You know, like 20s slang. That's for sure. Yeehaw. Well, hang on. It's yeehaw. Okay. It is yeehaw. Yeehaw. Horse riding. It is yeehaw. But I'm going around like sports. Like popularized sports phrases that are said once by a pro and then 12-year-olds across America go, I'm going to say that for 18 months. See, like I can only think about Tropic Thunder when he was like, get you some.

Oh, Get Some? Get Some was one for a while? Get Some. Somebody out there on Twitter, step this shit out. Suck it. Hump the air and you say, suck it? Yes. That's Degeneration X. Let's get ready to suck it! Suck it!

Nice. Hey, Blake. Fucking kudos. There you go, buddy. It looks like you didn't fall asleep at the wheel this week. Thank you for that one. I was ready for the suck it, baby. Hey, Kyle, do you currently have egg on your face?

Why? Uh-oh. Is there egg on your face right now, dude? Uh-oh. No, I don't think so. Oh, shit. It's about to get important. Let's go. I feel like there might be some yolk on your face. Let's go. Oh, my God. How am I not following along? That's the only yolk this dude is.

because the people have spoken. What? And they say that I have the nicest ass. Uh-oh. They said it. There was a poll. Oh, bro. Oh, God. Hundreds of people did it. Who put a poll out? Did you do the poll? It was an independent poll. Yeah, it was an independent poll. It was an independent poll. There was like

500 people? Yeah, where was the poll posted? Twitter. Who was the pollster involved? 500 people were polled. I don't know these people. These are internet people. I demand a recount. I want a recount. I want Wolf Blitzer to put out the fucking poll if we're going to get real. I want the dude with the screen zooming in. All I'm saying...

Is I got 50-something percent, then Blake had 33. Hello. Then Ders with some change, and then you had like 5%. It's all because you fucking... It's because you had a little sob story going on, man. It's because people felt bad for you. It was biased. By the way, I love the like, do you have yolk on your face? Kyle has...

No idea about this poll of 17 people. I know, dude. He's been waiting for two fucking weeks to say this, by the way. I guarantee it. Okay. 470 votes. Okay. 470 human beings clicked. Bots. Where is it posted? Where is it posted? Some...

And I reposted it so you could go to my account and follow it. Evidently, this person made an account where they just kind of follow the podcast. That's fucking bullshit right there. And it says Blake with his high and tight got 33%. Adam with his thick with a C and juicy 51%. Kyle stepping in. I don't know what that means exactly, but stepping in is what they say about your ass. I think he's just stepping in for...

because nobody else showed up. Yeah, no one showed up. You got 3%. And then Ders is the sleeper winner, which I think is what you called his ass, 13%. So just saying, there might be some yolk on your face. There might be a little egg.

On your face? Which is a saying, right? I feel like I've been saying that a lot lately. Yeah, if you got egg on your face, eat your humble pie, eat crow, bitch. I don't know if I've heard yolk on your face. Well, no, I added that. It was egg, and then I added yolk. You know, it's egg. This is cool. Hey, you know what? Kyle, do you eat eggs? I eat eggs, yeah. Yeah, I do. Do you eat ass? No, well. Come on, this is important, baby. Dude, this is. Ah!

Pizza, pizza. Kyle, what were you going to say? I was going to congratulate Adam. I was going to say I'm happy that you're happy right now. I think that's very cool that you found it and you post that and get all the wins. I didn't. No, it was already there. No, dude, if you posted it,

If you fucking posted that shit, it's biased as shit. You understand me? No, it was already done. And then I posted the results. Oh, okay. So you weren't kidding? Yeah, I posted the results. No, it wasn't live at that point. Oh, really? People weren't clicking through to go vote from your place? No, no, no. When I posted that, that's what that was, 470 votes. And then you weren't able to complete it. It was already done. So again, okay. All right. All right. I won't... I'll congratulate you. I completely disagree with everyone, but... I mean...

I didn't retweet this. I didn't retweet this. So we don't know what the Mindy Project fans that are just... Yeah. And I don't think it's like a thing that they're fans of me. I think they're fans of my thick and juicy ass specifically. What picture of your ass were they voting on? There was no photos. This is just them knowing our asses. From memory. Maybe they could do their own individual research.

about our asses. But we discussed in the pod that your ass has changed, like, dramatically, so... It hasn't. My ass is really, really great, actually. It has deformed. Oh my gosh, we can't go down this again. We can't. No, I'm not doing it. I'm not. I'm just saying. We can't dedicate a fourth episode to Adam's ass. No, no, we're not doing it. Definitely doesn't deserve it. This is important, man. I started biking, Adam. Nice, dude. I pumped up the tires on my specialized road bike, and I'm out there on the fucking streets getting it. I didn't

know you had a road bike Kyle fuck yeah Blair I'm out there

I was wondering if you had any luck getting any kind of free swag from anybody because I am a hoopty motherfucker out there on the road. I mean like sweatpants and work boots. Admittedly, I'm trying to up my game on I want to get a pointed helmet. I want to look fucking stupid. Seems doable. Yes, I agree. I want to look like I'm a professional cyclist.

Like, oh, this guy must do tour de France shit. He's wearing all the tights. He looks like a maniac out there. He's got all the carb, but then I'm really only going like 15 miles and, and it pretty, pretty lackadaisically. I'm just kind of having fun. I'm like rocking, like my board teenager jackets with like the fucking hood. And it's like very much, uh,

a drag. It's, it's drag. Like I can't get going fast. I'm working harder. It's like a parachute. And I just do not want that. I don't want to work harder. The answer to your question is no, no, no one's giving me free stuff. Specialized reached out and was like, dude, we thank you for mentioning us on the podcast. We love you. Have your manager reach out. We want to do something for you. And I'm like, am I about to score a free bike? Am I going to get a free bike?

No, I didn't. They just were like, yeah, we're big fans. Oh, okay. And then we're like, oh, okay. Oh, that counts. Well, maybe they'll hook me up with some gear. Like, all I need is like a fucking shirt. No, hey, specialize. Come at us. Yeah. We're not afraid to go on air and just beg for free shit. Come at us. I need a shirt. I need shoes. I need padded butt pants. You know what I mean? You got to have padded butt pants. Go to your local joint. Go to your local...

Cycle shop. Yeah, those bike stores need your money. Oh, Mr. Support Local Businesses. Anders Holm. Wait, what? Oh, wow. Mr. Support Local Businesses. Yes. Hey, Kyle, just go to Walmart like the rest of America. Come on.

Let's go! Go to Walmart and or go straight to the company and beg. Damn, I hella want to join Adam on this attitude, but I'm not going to do that. Okay, cool. I'll go to my local shop. Yeah, good call. Kyle, where are you going cycling, pal? Dude, I went around on the road. There's a nice bike trail on the side of the road that goes right below the, right at the foot of Mount Diablo.

There we go. How are you pronouncing this now? Mount Diablo, but as I grew up, it was Mount Diablo. Yes, that's the way we were trained. Wait, you guys said Diablo? Like, you don't remember this? This is the way. This is the way.

This was a real thing. Oh, I get that. We grew up saying Mount Diablo. And a lot of people in the Bay say that. Well, it's the way that like you guys just, and we all do this to a point where we will miss say a word to be funny, but then we miss it that way for so long that that. Do you mean mispronounce? No, I miss it. That is.

Well, to be fair, what's weird is like everyone in the entire county calls Mount Diablo Mount Diablo. Everyone pronounces it wrong. Yeah, that's like Rodeo Drive. Like people just were like, we're changing it. Yeah, we're throwing a little panache on it. Because what, that word is rodeo? Well, for sure it's rodeo. Yeah, what's up? Hey, apparently it can be whatever the fuck it is. So are you saying that Mount Diablo is actually putting a little panache on the word Diablo? Yeah.

Yeah, we're going to keep saying panache. Right. Well, we got to put panache on it. Pizazznash. No, I think there's less Nash. I think there's less Nash with the Diablo. Diablo sounds fucking stupid. Diablo is a cool... That's a cool sounding mountain. It's a real word. It's got an extra syllable in there with Diablo. What?

What? Diablo? Diablo. Di-a-ba-lo. Diablo. Diablo. Diablo.

Diablo. Three. Diablo. I've always said Diabolo. Diabolo. Yeah, but you say things. You have a little extra sometimes. What's my extra sometimes? Well, like when you say thanks, you say thanks, which is you're doing a little spin on it. That's not really an extra. And that is true. You do say thanks. Thank you. Thanks. Thank you.

But that's Adam actually. I take that as a compliment, so thank you. Adam actually says extra in the word divorce because you say divorce. Divorce. Well, he says past tense. He says they're divorced. Divorce? Yeah.

How am I saying it? Divorced. You say sugar and divorced. I do say sugar. Yeah, you do say sugar. You do say sugar. And railroad, I understand. That's a regional thing. Because my dad says railroad. He's from Missouri. I don't say railroad. Yes, you do. I say railroad. No, when you're like, my dad worked on the railroad. And I'm like, well, it's fine. Let it slide. I never say railroad. Yeah, you do.

You've never heard him say railroad? I know. I think it's a rare road. Rare road. Yeah. So railroad. My father worked on the railroad. He didn't work on the railroad. You never say railroad. You always say railroad. I might say it fast because, yeah, I'm a quick talker, you know, I'm in a hurry. You're in a hurry. No, we got. Hey, you got. Let's go. Let's go.

I say whale-wode. Whale-wode. My puppy work on the whale-wode. I have a question. Yes, Blake. You know the word sherbert? Yeah. Yeah, sherbert. Yes, this is a great one. But there's not two R's in the word, right? Isn't it sherbet? You're right. Yeah, it's sherbet. But everybody in the world says sherbert. I know. The podcast stops. We're all like doing the fucking... Wait, wait.

What? If you look it up, nowhere does, if you look it up online, nowhere in the world does it say Sherbert. There is no second R. There's no Bert. So is it like wherever the word is from, is it pronounced like Sher-bay, like Sor-bay? Like Sor-bay. Or is it like a mutation of Sor-bay? Very possible, but why does every single person on earth say Sherbert? Do you think this is like a Mandela effect kind of thing? Ooh. Ooh.

What's that? What is that? We're in an alternate, alternate, uh, alternate, alternate universe. Oh, dude. An alternate reality. I know what you're talking about. I watched, I watched that episode of John Wilson or whatever, where people were like, don't you remember? It said, it said Stouffer's Stove Top. And it's like, no, you fucking idiot. It never said it.

No, but it's true. There is shit like that. Do you know what the Mandela effect is, Kyle? No, I actually don't. I'm learning. Oh, God. Well, let's teach you something. Let's go! Let's learn! Kyle's going to get into this shit. They believe the Mandela effect, there's like this, I guess it started with a whole bunch of people

thought that Nelson Mandela died, was like killed. All right. In prison, right? And like this whole tons of people said that they remember like the news talking about it and they fully have vivid memories of this happening when he didn't and he went on to be the president of South Africa and he

But they believe it – these people believe it a certain way. And they think that like there's a – in the space-time continuum that something split off and the only thing that these people remember about their timeline is this thing happening that didn't happen in the new timeline.

that they're on. It's the dumbest fucking thing in the world because what they're doing is they're going, no, when I was five years old and I had this memory, I had it exactly. No, it's Fruit Loops spelled like fruit. And you're like, no, it's two O's. Alrighty then. And people are like, no, I swear it was Fruit Loop.

We're in a different time. It's so weird. It's just like why people double down because of their pride. It's missed memories that a bunch of people have together. And there are conventions where they go together. They're like,

yeah, the movie quote was this, but all of a sudden I watched the movie and it's different. But we all said, yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. It's like, if you build it, they will come. But it's not necessarily, that's not how it was said in the movie. It's like, if you build it, Ray. It's like, Luke, I am your father. Yeah, he never says that.

Right. He never says that. It's like these things that have been distilled down to a nice line that works out of context. And it's like, that's the line because the world says it that way. But when you go back to the movie within context, the line is different. There we go. And you got it. And that's Mandela effect. That's it. And so these people have found each other. They think they're like onto something. Yeah.

And it really is a collection of people with hope. You know, that's the nicest way I can put this. What are they hoping for? Yeah, almost too nice. They're hoping that, like, there's another plane of existence? They're hoping that they're not idiots. They're hoping that they're not wrong because there has to be some bigger explanation other than they're wrong.

Right. Well, it's also I think a lot of people want to believe like when like when Elon Musk started to say like talk about like timelines and talk about how like we're in a simulation and shit. I think people just really want to believe that shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Because they can't believe how shitty their lives are. Do you think Neo ever sits down and goes, man, I'm

this has got to be some fucked up reality. This can't be it. No, he's Neo. And he's out there like, are you referencing the matrix? Let's go. No, I don't think he's, are you, I'm referencing the R and B singer. Oh yeah. That's what I thought you were. Oh,

And also, has he even sang a song in eight years? Neo? Would you, after the Year of the Gentleman? You don't have to do anything. Thank you. Okay. Hey, let's go. He's Mr. Independent now. You're referencing a character from The Matrix. Like, homie, that's weird. That's cross-referencing. I apologize. Yeah, because The Matrix is kind of about it. Right, right. Okay, Tyrese. You're stepping on toes, man. Tyrese is killing a... To be fair...

Isn't Tyrese's nickname Black Matrix? Is it? Is it? No, I made that up. Oh, all right. You could believe that, though. Yeah, we could.

Yeah.

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I feel like people will go deep into this hopeful attitude for things like this because you do think about a space-time continuum moving off and being like, oh my God, there are other planes of existence, much like people dive deep into religion because they're like, there is a different life going

that parallel. So yeah, life after death might just be jumping over into this other universe. And, and maybe, you know, maybe they're a professional baseball player in this other life. You don't know. Dude, totally. You get into like reincarnation shit at that point where you're like, well, this is just a level of Buddhism. Does anybody ever go like, Oh, there's gotta be another life. And for me, it's, it's much worse. I,

I am a fucking toilet licker in ancient Egypt or some shit. No, for sure for the four of us, we're pretty pumped on this plane of existence. This is it. This is a great plane of existence for the four of us. I could see other people being like, fuck this plane. Well, we are YOLO generation where you only live once and that's kind of what... YOLO might have been the fucking let's go right before let's go. Shouting YOLO. YOLO!

I don't know if you screamed YOLO. I don't know if I heard that. Yeah, I don't know if you screamed. Yeah, I think you whispered it. You would say it to a friend. You'd say it quietly to yourself as you're about to do something stupid. Yeah. Really? YOLO. YOLO. You would text it. You would text it to yourself. Oh, God. I shouldn't do this YOLO. Oh, God. It's pretty high. It's pretty high up here. But YOLO, right? Yeah.

That's a great way to live your life. I think you're right. I think that religion was the OG. I think that it said Stouffer's Stovetop. Dude, totally. That's how Christianity started. They were like, no, I saw there was water in

And then it was wine. It's a miracle. Meanwhile, this motherfucker is like switching it behind his back. Like, duh. You see that shit? And they just brought out the second course. I'm like, here's the wine. This blind dude can see now. I remember him seeing. Freaking scam. For sure it was like, you know, it was the type of thing where someone tells a story and then another person tells it and then 200 years go by and like 200 or like, you know, 40 people have died.

the story in different ways and they're like, no, no, he was walking on water. Yeah, that's what I heard. He's the son of God. He's like, no, it's the son of Bob, dude. Yeah, Bob. I'm confused. It's Bob, not God. It was Bob. I don't know.

I swear. I heard God. I swear. Here's what's fucked up. As we get into this digital era, right? Hit us with it. Where like everything can be kind of constructed in a way that you're like. Hit us with it. Yeah, that's a 100% believable photograph. We're fucked. Hit us with it. Oh, yeah. Information is done. Deep fakes, bro. I mean, right? Because then all of a sudden there will be pictures from 1985 that have stofers over the stovetop.

And then who's the idiot? Damn. Maybe I'll have yolk on my face. Yolks on your face. I have so much yolk. Is it yolk or is it yolk?

Is it yolk? Yolk. Yolk. Yolk. Yolk. It's silent. I say yolk. You say yolk. For an egg, you say yolk. For a what? For an egg. An egg? You said yag. For an egg yolk. For a yag? I remember you saying yag. You said yag? For a yag? I say yolk. Egg yolk. Let's go. Yag. You say egg yolk. You take time out of your day to say yolk instead of just yolk. I mean, I have to say home.

So I say, yoke. Fair, fair. That's cool. You got it different. Get those L's. Okay. Take your L's. So we – look, we're probably the last generation that's going to see something that's Photoshopped and believe it or see a commercial that is like nice and good and done by advertisers and be like, that's real because some company made it.

Now, that generation, it's over. Now you look at a Photoshop and you question it. You look at a picture, you question it. You look at an image that might have some information, you question it. But we still grew up in a time when what was printed in textbooks was real. What was on TV was kind of like that was a real advertisement. So you think moon landings.

What the fuck? Yeah, Kubrick's a genius. But also like explaining like these commercials or like movies and shit, explaining like the CGI is not real to my kid.

He's like, are those real dinosaurs? I'm like, no, but they look real as fuck. That's what you say to him? Yeah. And I say, give me my beer. Don't finish that beer. And that beer over here. Yeah. Growing up quick over there. Yeah. Daddy, what is CGI? Like when they have a car commercial, like a car commercial when we were a kid, it was just that British dude explaining shit while a marble rolled all over it. And now cars are like,

exploding into pieces and reconforming and like driving up buildings and stuff and he's like can we do that and I go no and he's like well why did they show it then and I go exactly son now give me back my beer that is actually brilliant no we're really breaking this down in a pretty educational way people are gonna leave this podcast going read some books what's that one more time sorry

No, no. Read some books? Read some books. Is that not audible? What is it? No, Blake. Admittedly, you came on strong with the board and we were all for it. And then... What is that one? Read some books? Go read a book, you illiterate son of a bitch. Ah, step up your vocab. Dude. Is that Eminem? Read a book? Is that what that said? Read a book? It's from Nacho Libre. Read some books. Oh. Oh.

It's off the board now. You're off the board. Hey, next week, will you just give me a little Don't Be Messed with South Central while drinking your juice in the hood? Something from there. Messaged!

You got it. You're already in the air. Dude! And guys, ladies and gentlemen, and in between at home, we did not communicate about that. So I'm hard. Rock hard. Peckers are hard. That's amazing. You got a hard pecker now? Peckers are hard. Yeah, it's hard as it gets these days. Is that what your dad said, Kyle? You got a hard pecker now? Yeah, he said, that makes my pecker a hard pecker. Yeah, didn't your dad ask you if you had a hard pecker? No. What the hell? How odd.

Wait, no, I distinctly remember it saying, Stouffer's, how hard is your pecker? My dad was just talking about tools and said, like, that makes my pecker hard. That was the Mandela effect about Kyle's hard dick? Yeah, right. Didn't your dad ask you, like, he asked to look at your hard pecker? What? No. What the fuck? The Mandela effect is how hard it gets your pecker. Yeah. Dude, that's a trip, man. Yeah. Augmented reality. Yeah.

fucking changing shit up, dude. Oh, dude, has anybody gotten a... What the fuck are they called? The thing you put over your face? The Oculus. The Oculus? The Oculus... The Rift?

Does anybody have with the VR goggles? Oh, like, no, no. I can't believe none of us have a pair. I can't do it. It's going to go straight to a crazy porno land. And then it's just. They do have Oculus porno. Yeah, that's it's a slippery. It's a slippery slope. I mean, I agree. And then you're always just like spending way too much time in the bathroom with your Oculus Rift. Like, don't come in. Don't.

Don't come in. Daddy's going to be in the bathroom for a while. Fucking your iPad. The craziest part of that is you can have the device on with the headphones and this, and you could be standing there cranking it and have a whole gang of people watching you, and you don't even fucking know. Yeah, that's probably what you're into, dude. Let's go! You're tapping into my ultimate fantasies. You're just like, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, no, that's the best shit. But there's also those cool videos of, like, dads getting way into the game and then just, like, jumping headfirst into their televisions. Into a ceiling fan, yeah. That shit is tight. Yeah, also, I'm like, these people have no spatial awareness. Like, they're playing the game, but they know that they're still in their living room. You lose it. It's super crazy, dude. Have you ever put it on or played a game? It's fucked up. I've only done it one time, and it was, like...

They were showing it off at like the Grove and I was like surfing. Ooh. Which is like an outside mall in Los Angeles. And they were like, here, come try it on. And I tried it on and I was just like surfing. I was like, okay, yeah, this is cool. I mean, it looks like I'm surfing. And you didn't dive in and go swimming and accidentally hit the

pavement? No, I just sort of crouched on the surfboard and... You didn't dive into the concrete? The first time I put it on somebody, it was like a Game of Thrones thing at Comic-Con, and they had... They were shooting, like, heat, like, flaming arrows at me, and I fucking freaked out, dude. Like, it was... Yeah. It was scary. Like... Hey, that just tells you your body's working. Your senses are intact. That was bizarre. Congrats, you're human.

Yeah, they had like wind pumping too. Like that's cool that when the wind's pumping and you're like, damn, I'm fucking feeling this. I did one where you just – you like walked out on the ledge looking down over a building or whatever and did not enjoy that. I was like, this is fucking stupid. Oh, like you didn't like it because you were scared? Because you were afraid of your emotions? Yeah, because I thought I was going to fucking step off this building. They're like, go ahead. Take another step. And I was like –

I don't... It tricked my brain. I was like, I can't. I'm not... It's that good, really? Yeah, got my peckerhood. Why'd you say it was stupid? Was that you being like... Because he doesn't like to feel. Because I was deflecting about me being stupid and not being able to handle it. So you were scared that you might have cried in that moment, but instead of crying, you called it stupid. George was afraid to cry. Couldn't cry. What's new? He can't. He's got no tear ducts. He's going to learn eventually. Life...

Makes you learn eventually. It was weird. Do you think when you do cry, you're going to cry for like fucking like a week straight? Yeah, to make up for everything? You're just going to be like blubbering for it? Yeah, I could see that. I mean, if you want to keep it real, I hope not.

That sounds like a real fucking like terrible breakdown. Yeah. I hope the next time it happens, it's like 10 minutes. I hope we would step in and kind of bring you out of that deep depression that you're in. I think we would all have to move back in a house together and live with each other for six months to bring Durs out of that one. I'm like those dark sand people in Seoul. Okay. Let's go, baby. Let's go.

Blake did it, but for real. He just said it. Yeah, let's go. Earnestly. Yeah, he was let's going. Let's go. I mean, are we not going to say let's go? Is that not? Oh, what about sko? Let's sko.

Hey, can we talk about Taylor Swift wearing the bear jacket? Oh. Oh. And saying 2020 was weird and hopefully 2021 isn't as weird or whatever her comment was. And she's wearing the bear coat that Blake wore in like the third episode of Workaholics. Bitch better have my honey. She's wearing it. She's saying like stuff about weird, which that was our catchphrase. Let's get weird. Yeah. And then no love. No tag. No tag.

No mention. We mentioned Tay-Tay here on the podcast. Mm-hmm. Said there wasn't a lot of overlap. Evidently, there is. Evidently, Tay-Tay herself listens to the pod. I'm looking at it two ways. And they're both pretty cool. Okay, let's go. Maybe I'm wrong about both. Let's go. But my first version is she's seen the show. Yep. She's a fan. She's ashamed. Maybe she heard that we talked about her. Maybe she didn't. Either way, she's repping. The other side of this coin is that

Taylor Swift is who we're talking about. I just said Tay-Tay. Yeah, I don't know if I mentioned. The bear coat and saying let's get weird is just now like ubiquitously part of culture. And she didn't even realize she was doing it. It's a Mandela effect.

Yes. And we are Nelson Mandela to her. I do have a piece of intel, though. Well, not really. It's just... Pizza? Okay, Blake, let's go. Piece of pizza. Pizza pizza? Pizza intel. Pizza pizza intel. I like thinking of a therapist who just continually is like, okay, let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. That coat is official Bear Workaholics merchandise. Right. That's the one they released. Yes. That's what I thought, too. It looked like it came from... It says, like, Workaholics in the hood of the... Mm-hmm. Yeah, it says Workaholics on that coat. So she definitely...

watches the show and knows it's from the show or kicks it with somebody who fucking loves the show enough to buy a hundred dollar bear coat from urban outfitters you know what you know what this is i'd like to talk right now to taylor swift because she's listening she's a pain everybody else turn it off well it'll get it'll get to her quiet if you could mute it just for a minute uh i'd appreciate if you're not taylor swift because taytay

I would just like to say thank you and we appreciate you. And we're all fans. Like, I think we mentioned it on the podcast about how I saw her live in concert and I was like, oh, I get it. You're absolutely stunning. You're wildly talented. You deserve all the success coming your way. Tay-Tay Swift. Tay-Tay Swift.

And that's to you. Now everybody can turn it back up. Everyone can turn it back up. I'm no longer talking directly to Tay-Tay Swift. Bring it back. We're still talking about it, but yeah. And I feel it's a huge compliment that her most recent album was basically about us.

Yeah, it kind of was almost entirely about us. Was it? What? Right? Well, have you listened to it? No, I need to listen to this. There's like little things you can pick up on. Easter eggs. A lot of innuendo Easter eggs. Thank you. Wow. Yeah. Very cool. Yeah, the first through last tracks, there's little things about us. Yeah, from the very first one to the very last one and also the secret ones is almost entirely about us. I think Adam has the best butt. Yeah, there's a lot of that. Oh, my God.

my gosh yeah you you did hear that track that's cool so yeah blake knew that hey

Everyone else, stop listening for just a moment. Turn it down. Taylor Swift, who's got the best butt? Because, like, honestly, I don't care about any bull that is out there. Whatever Taylor Swift says, that's the one. Keep it real. She's wearing the bear coat, so we know who she picks. Who wore the bear coat? Who's she really shouting out here, huh? Yeah, but the bear coat covers the ass. Maybe she's like, yeah, you got to cover this thing. It's disgusting back there. She's also wearing pants, so...

Oh, come on. Yeah, keep dreaming. Everyone knows I wore pants in most of the episodes. You did wear pants a lot. You did. You wore them well. Taylor, I know you... Taylor, everybody else turn it down. Everybody turn it down. Okay. Turn it down. I'm speaking directly to Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift, hey... We never brought them back. Okay, let's go. Oh, okay. Keep it down. I brought them back. I did. I brought them back. The audience was back and then now they're leaving again because Kyle's about to talk directly to Taylor Swift. Turn it down. I'm talking directly to Taylor. Taylor, you have impeccable taste. I know that you have...

chosen blake as the best hiney and i knew that we're soulmates and i i do enjoy you and everything about you okay everybody can turn it back up you're spinning out of control hey everyone turn it back up yeah what the fuck turn it back up yeah it's cool turn it back up guys welcome back this wasn't about hitting on taylor swift kyle at all yeah i'm married i'm not i'm not i'm

I'm not hitting on her. Exactly. So what's happening? What was that? Well, you just said we're soulmates. What happened there? You kind of spun out. What was that? I meant to say, everybody turn it down real quick. I got to correct something that I said to Taylor Swift. No, no, no. Actually, no. I'll do it. Everybody, if you could just turn it down, I have a message for Taylor, and I just want to apologize for Kyle, okay? Don't turn it back up. Let me just say real quick, I'm sorry, Taylor, for saying soulmates. I didn't mean that. I'm married. I'm sorry if I got your hopes up. I meant to say kindred spirits, Taylor.

Thank you. Everybody can turn it back up. Okay. That's even weirder. You thought you got her hopes up? Yeah. Like she's bummed? Turn it back down, everybody. You think you got her pecker hard? I could see Taylor specifically fucking with Carl the drug dealer, though. Thank you. Because you know, like anyone that has such a – she has like a goody, kind of goody two-shoes vibe about her. Skull.

squeaky clean. Like that's her persona at least. Public image. That, you know, they're always just the baddest chicks. You know, they're always just wild bad gals. Yeah, they like the scuzzies. Or boys if that's your thing, you know? Yeah. I mean, Dustin Diamond. Let's take him for example.

Okay. Screech. Screech. Yeah. From Saved by the Bell. You know, you look at him, you're like, he's a, he's a, you know, kind of a sweetheart, kind of a total dork, like lovable guy. Turns out psycho, psychopathic. Psycho nightmare man. Allegedly, uh,

There's like rape cases against him. Allegedly. I'm not sure. Not willing to look it up, but willing to say here on the podcast. He's a mass murderer. Allegedly. Allegedly. There's like rape cases or something. I don't know. I'm not going to look it up, but there's something about it. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. But that is kind of the thing. I will say like when people are assholes as their persona, for the most part, they're pretty nice guys. Yeah. Like they put that asshole on.

on as like part of their persona, but then they're really nice people. Right. Right. For the most part, like, like Jessel, Nick, like Anthony Jessel, Nick is like a really nice guy.

you know what i mean but his whole stick is that he's like the meanest most cutting comedian that you can you can be he's fun right i mean look at ders everybody thinks he's an asshole he's a goddamn teddy bear yeah it's true you break it down he is he's a thanks you're that's what you're welcome welcome thanks for that hey let's go and you're welcome let's go guys let's go are

Are you calling it? Let's go. Let's call it. Let's go. Okay. Hey, guys, let's go. Yeah. Oh, man. I suppose we should be done, but it's only been 30-something minutes. So are we talking cake again? Are we going to go down that route? Cake? What were we doing? We were doing cake versus presidents of the United States of America adverts.

that. Let's give that 60 seconds for sure. Sure. I have to go pot USA forever. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Way better than cake. Well, guys, I mean, remember how you guys are kind of getting on me for telling the same stories on the podcast and you guys were like, hey, man, you already told that story. Like, geez, we got to not tell the same stories over and over. We can't go back and talk about

Bands again? Cake versus President of the United States of America. Like, specifically those two. We gave it 60 seconds. We're done. I just, I gave it a 60 second cap because I know where you're coming from. I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, turn it down. Everybody turn it down real quick. Kyle's whole thing is like, a week later, he's like, now I know what to say. Turn it down real quick. I want to talk to Adam personally. Okay. And, and,

So I can't listen? No, you guys take your headphones off. Yeah, if you guys... Yeah. Bro, come on. Come take them off. Come take them off me. I'm talking to Adam. Come take them off, dude. All right. Let's go. Adam. Yeah, come on. I'm listening. I'm right here, man. What's up? There's a certain level of awareness that we have on this podcast, but sometimes when you shit on us, like it makes us look bad in front of everybody. And I don't know that we should do that. We should just kind of like, you know, keep going and move on. So what are you saying that I shit on you? Yeah. Yeah, you did. You shit on me.

What, what, what did I shit on? Oh, I don't cry about it. You shit on all of us, man. You shit on all of us. When you shit on one of us, you shit on all of us. Okay. I need you to remember that. Okay. Everybody turn. Yeah. Turn it up. Turn it up. Hey, Kyle, I'm, I was here the whole time. I hate to break it to you, but guess what, buddy? You heard that? Listen to me. If someone shits on you, you let it roll off your back like a duck. Yeah. Copy that. No, I hear that. Okay. Kyle. And I stand in solidarity with theirs. Uh,

I think you're being a little too sensitive. Copy that. In all fairness, I had no idea he could hear me. Oh, do you need fairness? I just had no idea. I thought I was speaking to Adam alone. I didn't know that you could hear me when I was talking to Adam. I thought we were having a personal conversation. My bad. I thought you would do what you said. That is your bad. I thought you would respect Kyle's wishes and take the...

headphones off, but you didn't. You left them on. You heard it. And you heard it. I left them on, but I completely tuned out. I'm not going to let this bit live. You're killing the bit? You guys are looking at me. I never took them off. And you're pretending like you can't see me? I'm not letting this bit fly. Wow. Well, I'm only looking at Kyle right now. I was so focused on Adam. I'm sorry. Laser focused. I was trying to just talk to him. So you guys had the Zoom set up so you only see who's talking? Yeah, dude. You can pin a video...

Wow, there's a little yolk on your face, brother. Yeah, is there a little yolk on your face? I like looking at all of my friends. I got you guys set up. I got the boys on top. I got me in the middle. I got producers and people on the bottom. Nice. I didn't even know you could do that. You make a little smiley face with a nose. Yeah, how are you doing this now? Upgrade your lifestyle. I like looking at all my guys. This is a Zoom lifestyle we're living.

How was your guys' holidays? I feel like this is the, is this the first one back since the H days? I think so, right? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, we did Christmas and New Year's. You guys are Christian? We took a little break. We took a little break from the pod over the holidays. We could just be with, you know, with our loved ones and not catch the COVID. Right. I started so many other podcasts. Oh, you did? Yeah.

Listening or talking? I have new podcast friends. Oh, really? Yeah. I got a murder one. I'm not buying it. No, you don't, dude. You can barely do this one. Yeah, I'm not going to let this bit live.

Don't shit on me. Stop it. Did you mean that? Hey, guess what? Hey, I just sniped this bit right here. Yeah, the fucking bit killer. How does it feel? How does it feel? Can I tell you something? I know exactly how good I am at this and how exactly bad I am. Okay? And I like where I'm at. I like where I'm living. Mediocre. Okay. Okay.

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I've been watching like a gross amount of TV. I don't have shit to do. I'm so bored lately. I've been watching so much. I watched all of the Peaky fucking Blinders. Watch that again. I got to watch that. I got to watch. Is it good? Oh, it's so good. You got to watch it. It's awesome. Watch it with subtitles because they're so British that it's hard to understand.

Do you go subtitles? Oh, I go subtitles. I went the whole – like I tried like the first like four episodes. I was like, you know what? I'm just going to – I'm going to – I've already seen it once. So I already am familiar with how they speak and this is a rewatch of the whole series. I can make it and then watch four episodes and I'm like, I don't understand what the fuck is happening because I can't understand them even though they're speaking English.

But I think I would have a hard time even going to England. Like when, when like British people are talking with each other, I feel like British people slow it down and like,

Kind of dumb it down, Americanize the way they speak when they're speaking to other Americans. But you get a bunch of British people just talking together. I'm like, oh, I'm fucking lost here, mate. Do they say mate or is that Australian? I think they say mate for sure. Yeah, I think the Aussies and Kiwis are a little tougher, I think. I'd say Australians are easier. Okay. Really?

Yeah, for me. Okay. Went to South Africa and got off the plane and went straight to the car rental place, right? And they speak fucking English there. There's an accent, but it's very close to like Australian. Where were you again? Sorry. South Africa. South Africa. Okay. South Africa. Mandela effect. Mandela effect. All connected. Went to his home. Not a big deal. Soweto. Shout out.

Is that where he died? I don't know where he died. Okay. Did he die? No, he hasn't yet. Just kidding. Mandela effect. Mandela effect. So I get to the car rental place and the woman's like, hey, and I'm like, hey, and she's like, all right, it won't fit a polo. And I was like, excuse me? And she goes, she won't fit a polo. Do you want to fit in a polo? She's saying polo. I don't know what's happening. And I'm like, I'm sorry. I turned to my wife to be like, help me out here. She's got nothing. I'm like, what are you asking? She goes,

Do you want a Fit or a Polo? And you were like, let's go! I go, let's go? Is that what you're saying? And she slides the list of cars to me. And she's talking about a Honda Fit.

And then a Volkswagen Polo, which we know as the Golf, but they call it a Polo. Oh, so she was saying, do you want to fit for a Polo? Well, by the way, I was like, well, that's an insane thing to say at the car rental place because neither of those are cars that are rentable here. I've never heard of anyone. We got Honda Fit.

What the fuck is a Honda Fit? I don't even know what a Fit is. Honda Fit is like a little hatchback. There's just like a little exercise studio within the car. There's like bands for you to curl. Getting ripped. Um...

Like a fit? Fitness? Yes. The fit because he's got a gym in the back of it. Right, right. It comes with running gear. No, it's because you can fit your dick in the gas tank, bro. Get him. Hey. Get him. Yeah. But yeah, I'm like, fuck, I got to. Dipping the dick in the gas tank. That's fucking language.

God damn it. Do you want a fit or a polo? Do you want a fit or a polo? Kyle, you can't understand the Kiwis you work with? I have trouble sometimes. Because it's like they speak sometimes. I find it hard when anybody speaks like this, but I find mostly Australians and Kiwis are like... Mumble. They mumble. Yeah, across the board, that never works for me. And it's just like, what the fuck is going on? But it feels like... I don't feel like I meet a lot of English-speaking people

people that mumble that bad. But I could also be doing that. Like when I'm just speaking like tired, I might be equally as frustrating to anybody else on planet earth. You know what I mean? When they're talking to you like that going wrong, are they speaking to you? Are you listening to like a conversation that they're having? Yeah. Are you spying on people? Yeah. No, I feel like you can like when someone from a foreign English speaking country, cause that's what we're talking about here. Right. Foreign to us, foreign to us.

Yes. Thank you. But in English-speaking country, and they're speaking in their English version of English to someone from their same country. I feel like, yeah, I always have a hard time understanding fucking anyone that isn't from America. And even sometimes if you talk to people from Philly, it's also confusing sometimes over there too. Yeah.

Yeah. I never, the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song, I'm like, what is he saying? Like, yo, Holmes, smell ya later? Like, what? Smell, smell what later? Makes no sense. What?

Like, tell me you got that one. There it is. There it is. We've had that. Well, don't be afraid to bust it out, man. Oh, man. That truly strikes a chord in my sense memories. It's perfect. Have you guys seen the mom recently? I saw like an interview with her the other day and she's...

Fully silver hair. Oh, dang. Still very attractive. But it was like when you saw Ted Danson in Saving Private Ryan the first time he had the shock white hair. And you were like, whoa. Becker. She looks cool. She looks like she's from the future. I'm going to have to look that up. I always liked Jill. Jill. Jill Taylor. Jill Taylor, yeah. And what's her real name?

Patricia Richardson. Ooh. Yeah. Equally cool. Did she just kick it after? Like, is she just like, I did it and I'm out? Or was she like chasing other stuff? I mean, I feel like it was kind of... I don't know. That is kind of a cool move when you're just... Because those sitcom actors back in the day just made so much goddamn money. It's kind of cool to just be like, hey, I'm...

I'm good. I'm going to raise my family and bye. Bye bye Hollywood. Unless you like unless you loved it. But if it was just a job for you where you're just like I'm in my 20s I'm just trying this thing.

And then you hit? Like, yeah, fuck. Yeah. Take that money and run, son. I mean, the show ran for almost 10 years, right? Oh, yeah. That was a slam dunk. Yeah. And then that money just kept coming in, right? I mean, those are the types of deals that they got back then. They would get like... Syndication. Yeah. The syndication money was so real. What was the show where like the... Oh, it was the Brady Bunch, right? Where like the oldest son like actually like got it together with the mom, right? Had sex with the mom? Allegedly. Or like they had like a thing, right? Wasn't that a thing?

I wonder if that's ever happened. Wait, is this Brady Bunch? Is this an episode or is this off? No, this is like behind the scenes. Like Greg Brady was like macking. The late seasons of Brady Bunch got weird as fuck, bro. Yeah, they jumped the shark and all of a sudden the oldest son started like necking with his mom. Greg is making up. Lifting up that little duck tail she has. So you're saying that the oldest son in the Brady Bunch actually. The actor. The actor. Greg. Actually fucked the mom.

Allegedly. I think that that's the whole, I think they like, they always wink winked about it to like interviews. Cause they're like the rumor is, and they're like, I don't know. Did we, by the way, even if they're winking about it, it's weird. So tight. Yeah, no, it's awesome. I mean, sure. They're the Brady bunch. It's like how Bob Saget's all like, that's a king. The other day I was paying for an abortion cause he was on like the most family friendly TV show of all time. For sure. Yes. That's not his joke by the way. That's, that's Blake's.

Well, come on. Open mic night, baby. So what are we going to do? We can't do that because our show wasn't. We go clean. Yeah, we got to go so squeaky clean that people are like. Church guitar style, Kirk Cameron style? Yeah, we got to go Kirk Cameron style. Dude, yeah, start making some Christian movies. I would love to pivot to be very Christian. I would love that.

I can see that for you. There's always like a super Christian guy that kind of looks like you, that's wearing like a scarf, that you're kind of rocking, a bandana around the neck. This is for COVID purposes. Yeah, for COVID, for COVID. Even though everybody just has proper masks now and it's proven that the bandanas don't work that well. Okay. What news are you watching? It's a COVID look and I feel like there's Christian guys that look kind of like you.

with an acoustic guitar in every church in America. So I see that's an easy pivot for you. Thank you. Thank you. Also, don't get it twisted. Also, every, you go into a church, into a mega church,

There's a thousand little fucking beady-eyed me's running around, you know, praising Jesus. Hey, I'm sorry we have it so twisted about that very specific... Don't get it twisted. Well, I wasn't just shitting on Kyle saying he... Or on Blake saying he looks more Christian. I don't find that to be shitting. I didn't realize that was an insult. Yeah, come on. Oh, it is. Praise Jesus. Okay, then I did have it twisted. I guess shit. Yeah, it is. It's a little bit of an insult. Last time I checked, reading scripture is pretty darn cool. Okay? Okay.

Jesus is my rock. Thank you. Jesus is my rock. Jesus is my rock. See, Blake is ready for this. Oh, my God. I know it. Hey, the Lord has a plan for me, dog. Okay? Let's go! Let's go! Who's ready to praise Jesus on high? Let's go!

Go! Yep. I feel like that would work so well in the church right now. Oh, you know that the leader of a youth group is for sure screaming, let's go, when talking about like...

Let's go! You know, about scripture or about climbing a rock wall. I mean, did you guys dodge? All right, everybody, are y'all ready to recite the Lord's Prayer? Let's go! Let's go! He knows every hair on your head, brother. Let's go. Let's go. Jesus gets my pecker hard. On the third day he rose again, much like my pecker. Let's go. Did you guys miss that whole story about...

Justin Bieber's like – it's all – I guess it would be allegedly but like his super fucking cool pastor dude. Yeah, I saw all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's trying to roll with some Hollywood. You can't. Well, that's kind of the – my character on The Righteous Gemstones. I've sort of – I stole his look of –

He wears like the dumb big glasses that are pretty popular right now. Right. Non-prescription style or prescription style? The non-prescription style. Yeah. I mean maybe he has contacts and these are just a cool hip pair of glasses that he has. But I'm like, oh, I gots to get me one of those on the Righteous Gemstones. And I sport that in a few episodes of it. I mean did you – have you seen him with his shirt off? Talk about the body of Christ, man.

Jesus gives him a beard. Oh, my God. He's got the usher muscles and everything, bro. He's about it. What is his name? Damn, I wish I knew. I'm so glad I don't know his name. Is it Calvin? I feel like Calvin is a youth minister. Calvin Broadus? Yeah, that might be it. Calvin. For shizzle. Is it Antonio? Antonio.

Calvin Antonio. What is it? Hillsong is the name of the church. Yes, correct. Carl Lentz. Carl Lentz. Well, that just sounds like a guy you went to high school with. That isn't that cool. That's the guy from The Fugitive, right? Who switched the samples? Wait a minute. You switched the samples. Is this a cable guy scenario? Oh, dude. This dude's been setting this up the whole time. Oh, shit. Carl Lentz. Where have I heard that name? Carl Lentz. Carl Lentz.

Carl Lentz, Lentz, Lentz, Lentz, Lentz. I could see him pulling some shady shit, man. Why? The Lord works in mysterious ways, brother. With a name like Carl Lentz?

Let's go. Interesting. I like how dark this got suddenly. Let's go. This is the exact photo I'm talking about right here. Oh, those glasses. You see him with those big ass glasses? That's my character. That's Kelvin Gemstone right there. That's what I'm going for. Are your shirts all like see-through like that?

They do put me in like really dumb clothing, which I get a kick out of. But yeah, and you know, he's all over the place. It's weird to me that people want to see that guy be hella Christian. Yeah, for real. Because like right off the bat, I'm like,

nah i think it's like people want to because i mean there's been like a negativity in christianity for a long time of like oh if you're christianity is not cool and not hip so they like have this dude who is cool and hip blue jeans bible yeah and he's just like yo i'm just like you i can i do tiktok videos and i uh

I dance and I wear tight pants and I have these cool glasses that I rock. And people are like, oh, snap, let's go to church. Oh, snap. We're in church. We can't say shit. Exactly. Oh, snap. Let's go to church on Wednesday and Sunday.

I do love that he bridged the gap. He was like, wait a second, there's a whole untapped resource of youth money. That gets my pecker hard. Yeah, he cashed in. He did it right. I mean, that's a smart business move. I have a friend that is a comedian. I won't put him on blast here, but you guys all know him. And he is also super Christian. And he doesn't ever want to bring up his Christianity in his comedy.

But then also like stopped cursing and doesn't tell like dirty stories or anything in his comedy. He's like really clean. And I'm like, well, what do you – just do it clean and perform at these megachurches. I mean there's a million of these giant megachurches. If that's your thing and that's what you like, why not do it and make money? He's like, I don't want to make money off of my religion. And it's like –

Oh, well, okay. I don't want to even step in that. That's the whole point. Personally. The Vatican is like dripping with jewels. Yeah, the Vatican is exactly. Well, yeah, he could also make enough money and then give as much as he wants back to the church if he wanted to. Thank you. Let's go. What do they call it? Tithing? There it is. Tithing. Hey, guys, let's go. Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Should we go? Should we go? Should we perform? Let's go. Let's go.

And I'm serious when I say this. Let's go to church. Should we do wizards at a church? Let's go. I'm a wizard, bitch. You can't defeat me. I'm like, oh my God. Magic is scary. I used to love Midnight Mass when you were hella young. You're like, I get to stay out past midnight.

They give me fire. It's the fucking shit. And you're like, you're sipping a little hot cocoa to stay awake. Maybe you put a little whiskey in it. I'm drawing in Bibles. I would just take a Bible and then just draw in it the whole fucking time. Oh, you're going to hell. Oh, dang, dude. You're going straight to hell, dog. And I'll see you there. Dude, I used to go to church so much. My grandpa built a church out here. Like, that was his thing. He built a... You went so much that he built it?

You know what? I'm going to build you a church, kid. You know what? You like it so much. Merry Christmas. He built it. That's the last time I was in a church was for his funeral. Like I was in the sanctuary that he built. And it was like, whoa. Like this is two generations removed. And it's just like he put the stained glass up. He built a sanctuary for people to worship in. And I'm telling dick jokes. Come on, man. You're staining glass? Yeah. Like it's just like so weird. It sounded like his life was pretty boring, honestly. Yeah.

Not to shit on your grandpa, but your life is fucking way better. Too late. Oh, oh, oh.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's just two different ways of thinking about what your goals are in life. I don't know. I like your life better. I vote for Kyle's life. He was a hella funny dude, though. Allegedly. Allegedly. I've never heard it. He just did his act hella clean, you know? Can he text Adam Sandler right now? Exactly. He said the funniest thing to me. He also had a great dick joke that was just hilarious. When we went to Mexico—

And we were Porto Vallarta and we went in and we were all swimming and then we were wearing swim shorts and you know how swim shorts have the net in it and stuff. Sure. We went into the bathroom and I was standing in one urinal and he came in and stood in the next urinal and he was just like, he's just mumbling to himself and he's like, where did I put the net? Okay. That's pretty good. Grandpa bid for the win. And I was like, oh man. And that's funny because like small cocks right in your family? Yeah.

Yeah. All right. It was great. Let me know what path I should be running on for the next 10 years. Embrace the small dinks. If you got it, make fun of it. Yeah. Embrace the mold. Embrace it. It's all good. That's a good one. It's all good.

Yeah, it was hilarious because, I mean, nobody made small cock jokes at that point. Everybody was like, oh, my dick's so big. My dick's so big. Everybody, yeah, it was all Big Johnson jokes. Everybody was wearing the t-shirts of the dork with the huge dick, Big Johnson. Yeah, and I was like, Grandpa, that's it. And that's when you decided to get into comedy. You were like, wait a minute. Small cock comedy.

Small cock comedy, grandpa. I could make a career out of this, grandpa. And he goes, I bless you, my son. And then father, son, Holy spirited you. And then screamed, let's go. Let's go. Do you think you could say that joke to a complete stranger? Like at a urinal? Where did I put that thing? I think it would work. You think they'd be like, uh,

uh what or do you think they'd laugh and be like this guy's funny it depends on how cool that dude is if it's uh is he cool if he laughs or is he cool if he goes the fuck out urinal protocol is so it it goes either way you got to read the room you got to read it goes either way it depends if you're if you're in a bar and it's like every and everybody's pretty drunk and it's like kind of a rowdy bar and you say something like that i think it'd be funny i think people would be like ha ha ha

Like, where did I put this thing? I think it'd be funny if you're just at the airport or something. And like, it's just you next to like some, you know, 60 year old businessman. And he's like, excuse me. What if you go, I got to get me one. If we turn to the guy and go, man, I got to get me one of those.

How do you think that goes? No, you can't do that. That's not going to work. That's not going to work. Probably, I would say 90% of the cases, that would not go well. You go, hey, you want to trade? And he goes, excuse me? And you go, oh, I want to call. Yeah, so high. So high. Yeah.

Dude, remember that was the thing. You say some really weird shit on set and if it doesn't fly, you're just like, I was just running lines. I was talking to myself running lines, sorry. What did you just say? I'm running lines. Sorry, just running lines. Are you shooting that scene today? Because I don't see that in the show.

sides. Oh no, from another thing that I'm doing. No, it's actually for this commercial. I'm writing this thing that we're going to, I'm developing it. It's developing. The move would be you'd go to the bathroom and whatever, at a bar or something like that. And it's super busy. Bunch of people are in there. He would just, if he, if he was leaving before you, he would just turn the lights out and fucking peace out. Everybody's fucking. Yes. Okay.

All right. Somebody. And it's like everyone, you become a community so quick where it's like, okay, whose hands are dry? Like if you've already washed, you want to turn it on for me? Or like if you haven't gone to the bathroom yet, are you the guy who does it? I'm out, man. I'm taking a shit. So if somebody could help me out. Exactly. It's a whole thing. That's a pretty solid prank for your friend. That's a good one. I love it. Yeah, that is a good. Turning the lights out in places, the power.

You get so much power. One of the best moves to do, like when you go to the bathroom and you see your buddy in the bathroom and he doesn't know that you're also in the bathroom and you go up behind him and just reach around and grab his cock. Right, right, right, right, right, right. And you start yanking it. Wait, and you start yanking it. What? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you lock the door first? Let's go. Let's go.

You invite his family to watch for sure. Yes. Right, right, right. Yeah. Walk me through this. And when I do, I squeeze, I cut off the stream and then I let it go back on. Yeah. And then I do it to like a beat. I go, do, do, do, do, do.

And then we start singing Hands Where My Eyes Can See by Busta Rhymes. I love that one. If you want to putty with me, putty with me. Yeah. You don't say party, you say potty instead. I love that. That's the punchline. Everything else before that was just the setup. That's the punchline is when you get to the potty. Put your pee where the potty can be. You guys love that prank, right? Yeah. So much power in that one.

That's a good prank. I've never felt more powerful. No, I was going to say, well, I was going to say not that, but then I went down that road. So what were you going to say? Yeah, that was an interesting little route you went down there, buddy. Allegedly. Allegedly, I don't do it. Allegedly. You go and you push your buddy into the urinal a little bit. What's that? Oh.

kick them in the ass. Yeah. Or you like kick the back of their legs a little bit so their knee buckles and they're like, oh. Or you just pee on their leg. Or you reach around and you grab their cock. Yeah. And you just kind of slide your hands up their shirt and start to play with their neck. And then you slide their hands up and down on the shaft and you're like, got you, dude. Or you like pants them. Wait, what was that part? All the way down, you start to eat their ass. Yeah.

Oh, man. That's an insane prank, dude. That prank is wild, bro. Yeah, that's funny. And they put their hands up on the wall and like, they like it, right? That's funny.

That's because the prank is... They start liking it, and then the ultimate part is that they end up doing it to you later. That is the ultimate part. Oh, that's a prank award. You've got to have a prank award with your friends. I had such a prank, dude. Fucking pranks on you. Oh, man, we need a prank show. I'm starting to have workaholics flashbacks already. Just porno prank show. Classic. Porno bloopers? Allegedly, we don't do that stuff. Oh, my God.

Right, right, right. Allegedly. Any take-backs, apologies, or compliments, guys? Well, you know, even though it was fun, I kind of take back going down that weird road just a few minutes ago. But, you know, it was worth it, and I thought it made for a fun ending to the podcast. We were all laughing just because it seemed pretty fun and seemed pretty exciting. I think we're all gigging pretty hard.

Yeah, and you guys at home, you know we're being silly. Obviously, we would never do this. It's ha-has. It's funnies. It's gigs. I was looking for that word. It is ha-has. It is ha-has. It's gigs. Ha-has and gigs. It's gigs. It's riffs. It's LOL. Riff dogs. We're looking to give all y'all the LPMs, you know. And we want you to really, when you listen to this podcast, we want you to sit back and think, let's go!

Damn right. You know? I want you to feel that. Get you some. I want you to get some. Get some. Any compliments, take backs, or, you know, put downs, or giveaways, or what's the... Oh, giveaways, epic slams. Epic slams. Ultimate slams. Any ultimate slams. Ultimate slams.

I'll give a compliment. Kyle, the painting in your background there was painted by your wife, correctly? My wife. That's fucking sick. Is there a story that goes with that? Give us a story. Give us a really detailed story about that.

My wife is an abstract artist, and this was something that probably the interesting thing about her art is she puts probably like six paintings on one painting. So she'll finish one. I'll be like, that's great. That's fantastic. Then she'll just paint right over it.

and put another one on it. I'm like, that's fucking gorgeous. And then she does it again. She really, it's therapeutic for her. That's beautiful. But yeah, I like it. It feels like, it looks like a magic eye to me. I feel like it's a magic eye of the Wu-Tang W. Oh, I see that. Now that you say that, I see Wu-Tang. Yeah, I see the Wu. Yeah. There we go. Also, it could be yolk on your face, you know? As Durs would say, yolk. Yolk. It'd be yolk. Yolk. My folks. These are my folks. Folks.

I'll make sure to pass the compliment on to her, Anders. That is a really nice compliment. And I would like to compliment Adam and his epic win on his butt according to that poll that was put out there. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. And that's a – you're being a big man. You're being a big man for realizing that the majority of people disagree with you. Yeah.

407. Well, I'm not saying that I agree with them. I'm just very happy that you're happy. 470 people. Not all of them disagreed. I would say 200. That's not a lot. That's more than half agreed. Yeah, if I could keep it real, that's not a lot of people. Oh, it's definitely more than just you. Small sampling. Yeah, no, that's true. And let me give a compliment to Adam real quick for knowing that 400 people is more than Kyle.

Yeah, 470. Yeah, but yes. That's a math. Yeah, I'm good at math. I'm a math guy. Yeah, well, my choices are normally seen by 70 plus million people. Your what are seen by what? My choices. The one movie he did were 70 plus million people saw. In three days. Kyle, this is not becoming of you to talk this way. I'm going to be coming. Okay. I know. I know. I know.

Don't be that guy. I'm sorry. It's not me. It's like I'd like to take back my fucking backhanded compliment to Adam. Okay. Also, it was a backhanded compliment. Wow, I thought it was real. Yeah, it was. I went into it knowing that it was a

I went into it trying to slam you. I tried to combine an epic slam and a compliment. Oh, so it was a slam. It was a condescending epic slam compliment that I want to take back. So just set it up as an epic slam because we've established that now we can epic slam each other at the end. But an epic slam is like really good when you turn it from a nice compliment. So I was trying to combine. Well, you know what you should have done right at the end? Screamed let's go and then say epic slam. There you go. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Right. Yes. Okay. Okay. Copy you. And then started saying, this is important. And then we're like, oh, it's okay. Yeah. And then the podcast is done. Yeah. And Adam, I will compliment you on your win. Thank you. The people have spoken. 479 people have spoken. You.

You won. Congratulations. Thanks. And also, listeners, if you could turn it down for a second. Okay. This is for Taylor Swift. I'd love to give you a compliment. Tay-Tay, she's still listening. She didn't turn it off when we were talking about that hilarious prank where you stroke another roach cock. Right.

Right. Well, I saw you wearing the bear coat and you wore it well. Thank you. She did. Yeah, she looked good in that bear coat. And I want to apologize for Blake's creepy voice there. Just say it normally. You don't need to whisper it like that to her. It was intimate. Okay.

Guys, this is a great episode. I'm glad we stuck this one to the wall, put this one on wax. I wonder, what can we do to just end it on a little bit better of a note? There's got to be something, right? Sometimes there isn't. Which note? I've been playing the piano a lot. We could end it on like a C major. That's a normal note. Sorry, do you have a piano right there? Or is that just a note joke? Oh, no, I was just going to use my voice to make the... I was just going to say, there's a note joke, and I could say like...

We're done. And that's roughly a C major. Ooh, but definitely don't do that because that didn't sound good though. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm not even, that sounds like an F. All right. F minus. And I'm back. Uh, guys, this has been another great episode of this is important. It is important. Bye. Bye.

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