Ep 32: If You Ever Stole A Jack In The Box Antenna Ball You Might Be Going To Hell
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Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network. The problem is nobody takes them seriously yet. So they passed me, a comedian, with convincing all of you people out there that Boost Mobile is a serious 5G network. Time to put on my serious voice.

Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network with coverage across 99% of America. Seriously. The Boost Mobile network includes roaming coverage from partner networks which cover 99% of the U.S. population. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on This Is Important... Who cares? I'm a naughty boy.

That's garbage pussy Featherstone. People are whipping their titties out. I've busted the motherfucking buttons, okay? Let's go.

Yeah! Boom. Woo! Yeah, baby. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to see my boys. Yeah, baby. Gentlemen, look at the Irish to ya. Adam, are you Irish? Divine, is that Irish? It is. It's super Irish. I actually just had a meeting with these two director dudes that directed this. Whoa. Yeah, no big deal. That's cool. I take meetings with guys that don't put me in their movies. Yeah. And...

Dates. They're called dates. Yeah, they're called Zoom dates where we talk and then afterwards, I'm not the star of their movies, but they are...

irishmen and they they're like you know that's like smith over here divine really oh right yeah for sure like it's very regular i'm like fuck you guys i'm special no but what's crazy is there's definitely irish people named smith right i don't know i think that's like english smith where's smith coming from yeah i don't think smith is irish that might be swedish sweet balls that's tom green dog what i mean is it's like they're

They're acting like they don't have Smith. Yeah, I don't think it's native to their land. But it's probably not uncommon, no? I don't know. I think it's more uncommon than divine is there. That's so tight. Hey, producers, let's look into that. Let's look into that. What are we looking into if Smith is as common as divine? Is that what we're looking into? We're not looking. I'm asking for it to be looked into. No, but is that what you want somebody else to look into? What's the search you want?

I'm wondering how common the last name Smith is. Compared to divine in Ireland. No, not even compared to divine. What? I'm just saying generally. Well, the reason we're even talking about this because we're recording this podcast on St. Patrick's Day. We are. Yes, we are. Swedish. Swedish.

balls it seems like you're calling me out on my irishness like you don't think that smith is the most smith is the fifth most common surname in ireland it's also very common in britain and scotland what i'm saying is that their analogy is super fucking weird to be like that's like smith where we're from which is actually more common than and then well i think they know that smith is really common in america

yes so for us to say that about for someone to come from a country where smith is completely uncommon make it down they would say that's like smith for us fuck it i get it yeah well i'm pretty sure they said smith like the last name can't like the korean last name kim they're like oh that's like smith for us because they don't have a fucking ton of smiths in korea yeah i hear you i actually hear you that's all i think you're incredibly right you know what i'm

I'm pissed now! You idiots! Yours is pissed now, dude. I was just trying to cheers my boys on St. Paddy's Day. I get that. I'm just saying. Luck of the Irish to you. By the way, I'm on your team. These guys didn't hire you? Fuck them. Right, exactly. Fuck them. You're not in their movie. Yeah, that's what more. It was a general, guys. They weren't

even cast in a movie. I just liked their movie and I asked if I could meet them. I did. No, they're dead to me. Yeah, fuck them. Yeah, Durs already chose size. You know what? I'm with you guys. Fuck these guys. These super nice Irish guys. There's only two Irish directors in LA that are like they how many other Irish guys could we be talking about right now? Uh,

Well, they were in Ireland. They were currently in Ireland. Like, they're fully Irish. Breakouts. They're the real deal. None of this fake shit. Like me saying, look at the Irish. That's probably cultural appropriation. Yeah, you're on a roll these days. A bunch of Irish people are going to be like, fuck you, dude. Disrespectful. Look at the Irish. Fuck you. That's our shit. Are we rocking kilts and sombreros at your wedding? I think that is going to be the move. Yeah. We're going to have corned beef and hash tacos.

I think at the end of the evening, how foul would that be? Hey, Kyle, what are you reading? You look like you're trying to say you've got some information. Oh, man, I'm just looking, trying to decipher what this says right here. It's the most common surname in the world. No, no, no. You guys were talking. No, common surname. Let's hear it. Smith is the most common surname in the world.

Most prevalent in the U.S. Right. But it says 9,425th. I don't understand that part. Divine. Oh, divine is. Oh, divine is. So it's not even, okay, so it's not even close even in a basic analogy if you accept the Smith as the analogy, you know? Doesn't even work. Right. What?

divine is most common in america no no it says it's the 9425th most common surname right hey guys we got to the bottom of it yeah yeah it's a bad analogy these guys their metaphors are whack like what's going on with these guys i'm just kidding hey they make great movies they're fucking dog shit with analogies and i'll say it

None of you guys are Irish, so this is really only like... I'm Irish. You are? Yeah. Today. I thought you were Czechoslovakian. I am. On my mother's side, the Blaziks, but the Andersons are Irish. There you go. Good job, buddy. Like you did a German accent right there. Your mom's maiden name is Blazik?

That's right. Yeah. That's where that type. Yeah. That's where blazer comes from. Blah. How do you spell blasek? Is it? No, but it kind of lines up. I'm like, isn't your name Blake? And that's where it comes from. Blake. And you smoke weed. I thought that's where we got blazer. Should we say our mom's maiden name? Should we fucking rep for our moms today? Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Let's go. Let's call our moms. Okay.

Let's say their names first. I did talk to mine. I'm good. So Blazek. And what is that? That's I was told it was like Czechoslovakian. But yeah, like I said, my dad said it's Polish, but maybe he's just trying to diss my mom. Why? What's wrong with being Polish? My wife is Polish. Nothing. I think it's I think it has negative connotations.

Well, to who, dude? To my dad. Well, Polish people are the butts of a lot of jokes. There's a lot of Polish jokes. I don't know about that in the Chicagoland area. Yeah, there are like Polish jokes that people say, but I don't I never understood any of them.

I'm always like, I don't either. It's like way before our time they were made. Yeah. I think that those are plug and play jokes for like the newest minority or person to be like immigrating to America. It was the newest minority on the block type joke. Right. Like Irish people got it and then they were like, well, Polish people are new. So the Irish people were like...

Fuck these guys. I heard this joke about me. Now I'm going to say it's about them. And then it just turned into blonde jokes. And then we just started ragging on blonde people. Right. Because everyone's like, fuck them, right? Yeah. Well, they're so hot. God dang. They have so much fun. Blonde jokes were huge. Yeah. They were big in the 90s. We had to take them down. They look like they're... Well, you're kind of blonde. You got that strawberry. You're strawberry kissed. Are you talking to me or who?

I was talking to Blake. I feel like your hair, you're like a redhead a little bit. You're more... You want to see it? I do. I'm looking at it. Yours is darker than Blake's is. It's science. It's science. We've got to do that one more.

Yeah, it's a little red. It was blonde when I was a kid. Blake, you still have your beautiful blonde locks. My hair was blonde when I was a kid, too. You were blonde? Yeah, I mean, me too as a child. When you're a kid. Guys, okay, yes. Fuck you, dog. You're not special, dog. Everyone had blonde hair as children. I wanted to talk. It was my turn. It was a few minuties. I wanted to talk, okay? Mine was blonde as well. Fanta, Fanta.

Well, I, here's something that I get a little, a little peeved on and it's not. Hit us with it. I get mistaken for like a ginger all the time. People call me a ginger online all the time and no diss to gingers, but like, I'm not a ginger. Yeah, but kind of, you're a ginger Polack and that's fine. And we're okay with it. Adam, be nice. Did I tell this story about the intern, uh, when they brought me in to do ADR, uh, on the intern? Uh,

The Intern is a movie starring Anders Holm and myself and also Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway are also in it. Yes, you guys are definitely first billing and Robert De Niro is third billing. We got one and two. Is it DiNardo or Anna Hathaway and Robert DiNardo? Well, it's for your guys' story for sure. I feel like that's a story that the audience wanted to go on.

They're like, wait, what's the scruffy husband up to? How come those two didn't meet? Yeah, what's with the guy that wears sweater vests in the office? Let's kind of take a walk down his life. Yeah, what are their stories? So I go in to do ADR, which is like when you re-record lines that you said, like the audio was bad. And we all know what ADR stands for.

Additional dialogue replacement. There we go. Thank you, Kyle. Finally, someone smart on this fucking pod. Well, I knew what it was. I was going to do it with you guys. I wanted to talk. Yeah, it's been a few minutes. And so I go in. Ten minutes.

I go in to do this with Nancy Meyers, famous director. She's awesome. And she goes, hey, it's been a while since I see you. Can I see you outside in the light? And I'm like, of course. You can see me.

Anywhere you want me, baby. It's usually like dark in these, in these re-recording studios and stuff. Just to set the mood. And she just starts looking at my head. For lice? And I'm like, right. I'm like just being inspected. Like, I don't know what. And she goes, she goes, huh?

Your hair is kind of red. And I was like, yeah. She didn't like that? Oh, she for sure hated it. And it might have ruined the movie for her. What the fuck? And I felt so... I was like, yeah. But here's the thing. Sorry. Just because you have red hair doesn't mean you're a ginger. I think it's cool. Ginger is a different thing. Ginger is like... You're real riled up about gingers, Blake. What? Yeah. No, ginger... But what do you think it is? It's like...

straight up like

red ass hair like shock pale skin like maybe even you have some like little freckles going on like it's a special sort of like our manager Isaac right yeah yeah like Isaac probably has ginger yeah I would say he's probably a gin probably has ginger that guy is the devil just super white and super red there he is you just look at him you just explained exactly what he looks like the doctor's like we've got the test back and it looks like you might have ginger

I'm sorry. You have ginger. I think Blake is real sensitive about being called ginger. It has negative connotations, much like being his Polish background. Right. Uh,

You're saying like that dude King Kroll is a ginger, right? That dude? Yeah. Okay. Yes. Yes. Totally. Great reference. Sure. Or Conan O'Brien. We're talking about Conan O'Brien. Conan O'Brien. Yeah. He's the most famous. Damn. Homie referenced King Kroll. Hey, that's great. That's the fucking sickest. That dude is so good on a guitar, man. Just him and a guitarist first album. Let's go.

That's one. There we got one. We got one. Put it on the board. That's one. Got me pumped. That's dope. Ed Sheeran. Classic ginger. Ed Sheeran. Very good poll. I think I know who that is. Classic gingers. How tall is Ed Sheeran? I heard he was 6'7". Ed Sheeran? He's a tiny man.

I met him one time. I'm joking. Ed Sheeran? Yeah. Is that the guy from American Idol? No, no, no, no. You guys are talking about King Kroll as if he's a famous, like world famous. And Ed Sheeran is the biggest. He's one of the biggest stars in the world. Yes, I know who Ed Sheeran is. Is he from American Idol? I'm being honest. No. No, that's David Archuleta. No, that's Clay Aiken.

Oh, my God. You thought Clay Aiken was Ed Sheeran. Honestly, in my mind, Clay Aiken and Ed Sheeran are the same person. Yeah. Okay. How many green beards you have, dog? Can't you tell by my teeth? Yeah. Clay Aiken. Blake got ready for this. Blake, do you get as equally mad when people say strawberry blonde? Hmm.

Or is that okay? No, I'll take strawberry blonde. That's hella cute. Yeah, that's fucking hot. That's like... Ooh. Yeah. That's cute as fuck. Well, because it has blonde in it. That's what you like. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Strawberry is sexy as fuck. Yeah. And then you're like, hey, look at Blake's red ass hair, which I think is cool. Right. I do too. Because I have a family of... I don't know. You guys, I don't think I've met my cousins...

And is this on your mother's maiden name side? All right, good job. Is this the Irish side? No, my dad's side. Yeah. And...

I got a ton of gingers on that side. So I easily could have went that way and I wish I would have. Well, did you know that in Ireland, having red hair is like having brown hair there? Shit, it is? Anyway, what's your mom's maiden name? Let's find the stats on that. Please, producers, really go deep on it. If having red hair is like having brown hair. It's science. Adam, what's your mom's maiden name?

Cobb. Cobb? C-O-B-B? Yeah. Like the baseball player? Yeah, like Ty. Like the corn! Much like the corn. Almost exactly like the corn. Is Ty Cobb's name Tyrone? Tyrone Cobb, yes. Or Tyrannosaurus. Tyrannosaurus Cobb. And he's like, I got tea so much I changed it to Ty. You're a stupid dumbass.

It has to be Tyson, right? Tyson Cobb? What do you mean it has to be? No, it could be Tyler. No, it's probably like Tyserious or something or something.

Oh, it probably is Tyserius. How old? Yeah. When did you think Ty Cobb was born? The fucking 1700s? In the Roman Empire. Tyserius, the great Roman gladiator. Yeah, wasn't he? Isn't that the bro that killed Caesar? That's the dude Joaquin played in fucking the Russell Crowe movie. Tyserius.

That's the Joaquin movie to me. I love that movie. Fuck yeah. Every Joaquin movie is a Joaquin movie. I saw the movie Gladiator at the drive-ins. We were sitting outside the fence. Like, we didn't even pay for that shit, Kyle. Remember? We sat on top of Pat's Blazer. Bad boys. Yeah, you park like on the on-ramp. Yo, that seems safe. Gladiators, ready!

Hey, do we think drive-in movie theaters about to make a comeback? They already kind of have. I think they already are. I think they're already like making a big. What do you mean? They have made a comeback. Mm-hmm. Wake up! I'm pissed now. Yeah. Well, during the whole pandemic, that's been how you did comedy, right? People go make comedy in front of cars and they honk and they're like, yeah. Oh, that shit was hella weird. Yes, that's how they did it. I was asked to do that quite a bit. Did you do that? Yeah.

No, I actively was like, I'm just going to wait. Yeah. I'll get a podcast. That's for sure. It's not going to feel the same. No. And everyone says it's the weirdest shit they've ever done because it's not laughter. It's people honking their horns at flashing their lights. Yeah. Which feels like a heckle. Guys, we fucking tried, man. This shit was tough and we just wanted to get out of the damn house. And Adam,

Just stand up and let me honk at you, dude. Please. Okay. I need this. It's only cool if you roll up onto stage on your motorcycle, and every time you tell your punchline, you just fucking go... No, I roll up onto stage, immediately crash, hurt myself, am able to pick up the motorcycle very easily because of all the adrenaline, and...

I'm laughing. And then the punchline is I look at them and go fucking squirrels and the place ignites with honking horns. I feel like it could be kind of fun if you're like,

This car knows what I'm talking about. And you like make fun of people's horns. You're like, let's hear this horn. Jesus. That's your horn. You drive around town honking like that. Okay. All right. Let's hear your horn. That's a fucking horn crowd. You got 20 minutes on horn. It's horn comedy.

Dude, crowd work. I do need more horn material, so that would be a good way to mine that. Right? Damn, look how bright this motherfucker's headlights are. Why are they so bright? And I thought this guy was horny. Admittedly, I'm really bad at...

At crowd work. Like, some guys just... That's kind of what they do. Oh, let's shout out Adam Ray, dude. He fucking kills it. I watch his little Instagrams. I'm like, this dude is money with the crowd. Yeah, he's great at that. And actually when... Because Adam opens up for me a lot when we're on the road. And I'm always like...

For sure, dude. Because he does like 20, 30 minutes before I get on stage. And I'm like, do some crowd work up top, but then do material because I don't do a lot of crowd work. And I don't want people to be yelling at me thinking like this is going to be this is going to be like a crowd work type show.

100% of the time he's like, absolutely. And then right before he is about to bring me up, he can't help it and he'll go in on somebody's hat or something. Right, right, right, right. And then you get out there and you try and go like, oh, sir, what's your name? Greg? Craig? Is it Craig or Greg? I already told the first guy. Okay, so the thing about people like...

What's your name? Craig or Greg? I feel like half of it is just being able to remember people's names because then 10, 20 minutes later, you're like, and Irene knows what I'm talking about. And people go.

How did he do that? That's exactly. And I've smoked myself stupid. I don't. I have no short-term memory. It's the dergs. It's not there. Oh, I have a weird thing. I rented this truck, this Ford F-150. Hell yeah. I like those trucks. Because I'm in the south in Charleston shooting The Righteous Gemstones next season coming at you. There we go. But I rented this Ford F-150. It's bright red. There's this fucking cardinal.

That keeps flying and hovering right by it. It sits, it looks at itself in my rear view mirror or in the side mirrors and then picks at itself and then shits all over it and flies off. The mirrors are ruined. It's been out there for like three days. The red pickup truck is like a giant God Cardinal. It has to. Like me and Chloe were just talking about this. I'm like, this bird thinks that

I'm in charge of a giant other bird that then he must try to fuck. But then he gets a little mad at himself and he's like, well, am I fucking this thing or am I going to shit on it? And he's like, I'm going to do both.

What, he's pecking at the rearview mirrors? Has he ruined it by pecking? At the side mirrors. He's not inside the car. You should let him in. Didn't you try and fuck and shit on the Lincoln statue in D.C.? Because you were like, it's a god, you guys. And you just started dragging your balls across it? I could see that. I tried to eat him out, yeah. Oh, that's right, you tried to put the legs up over your shoulders.

I could see that for Blake. Whenever Blake gets really good and drunk, he's always trying to vandalize something. Yeah. Perfect. He's like, do you think I could run through this window? And we're like, please don't try it. He's trying. Oh, my God. I know I'm the worst. I'm sorry.

I would like to publicly apologize for any time I've got a little Irish in me. Look at the Irish to you. Swedish. What is it? What's the mom's side? Blanchard? What is it? Blasic. Hard as hell, dude. How do you spell that? There's some C's and Z's lined up, right? B-L-A-Z-E-K.

Blazik. That is such a fucking sick name. That's like an Ellis Island spelling, right? That is so sick. Dude, I've never 23'd in Mead. I don't know. I don't know the history of my family. I am just...

The first Californian born, that's all I know. Right. And yet you embody it so well. Yes, sir. My name is at Ellis Island spelling for sure. There's no other Nua checks out there. Right. Oh, really? They just when they came and they they hit America's soil, they're like, yeah, let's just give something easy to spell. Yeah. Nua check. They were like, no more of these old shekels of Atkins. And they were like, no, no, we're Nua checks. Nua checks.

All right. Well, shit. Get in here, kid. Supposedly, our name is Novacek, which in Czechoslovakia is like Smith. Yes.

And it comes full circle. It's exactly like Smith. That's so tight. Okay. It's science. Yeah. So then when they came over here, like my great-great-grandpa was like, fuck it, dude. New a check. Let's just do that. Fuck it. Fuck it, dude. He's like, fuck it, bro. Fuck it. New check. What's your mom's maiden name? Cobb. Ooh. My mom's maiden name. So my father's side is the new checks. My mom's maiden name is Con. Con.

K-A-H? K-A-H-N. K-A-H-N. Please tell that story. I don't even know that story. It's not even a story. You were just saying that I think you are one quarter Jewish? Swedish. Well, I found out that her side is pretty much Russian Jews.

Right. And you were like, yeah, her last name's Khan. K-A-H. Yep. And you did not say that. I know. I didn't finish it. That's what it was. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's Khan. K-A-H. And you were like, yes. Yeah. And the N. Ka? But I figured you could fill in that one blank. Ka!

Are we afraid that now that everyone knows our mom's middle names, they're going to know the maiden names? Your passwords. Yeah, they're going to know all the security questions to all of our bank information. Let's talk about our first cars and our favorite fifth grade teacher. Our pet's names, our favorite foods. I mean, that shit's so easy. Busted. Busted.

Sorry. Just let the computer pick your password and then recognize your face. Isn't that how you guys do it? Yes, I do. But I'm kind of confused as to why they think that like those things that are so easily discoverable online are like valid, you know, whatever. Also, I never get it right. I get the name of my favorite food wrong every time. I'm like, what do I like? Right. I like spaghetti.

Like, cause I'm not a child. Like it changes all the time. It's not like, I'm not like a child who's like, I only like

like chicken fingers like no I like a ton of shit dude when you answer those questions really you have to log it because one day you'll be like ribs that's my favorite shit right and then like the next week it's raviolis yeah or you're like don't acknowledge a real ravioli run for a few months and then you name it ravioli then you get off the ravioli kick and you're like right I don't fucking even like raviolis but fine

You'll be like, my first pet was Sidney the dog, but then when you answer the question, you'll be like, it was my hamster. You're like, no, it's not. Motherfucker, it's Hammy the hamster. It was Hammy. Hammy's. I don't even know my own security questions, dog. I might need security. I got the flag, player. I got the flag. I got the flag.

Hi.

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Hey, guys. We here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese. It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. Yeah, it truly makes everything creamier. And, of course, it can be used in so much more than our classic bagel and cream cheese. You can use it in a variety of recipes, occasions, and even as a perfect snack. For example, you can dip vegetables

or crackers in it to snack on. Enhance your guacamole with it, make a creamy pasta alfredo, or even buffalo chicken dip. The recipes are endless. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it, baby. Mac and cheese, ramen, frosting, tzatziki. Now you can make it so much creamier. With so many unique recipes, how could you go wrong?

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You know, it's not a joke anymore. Boost Mobile. I know what you're thinking. Don't they sell burner phones? Yes. The answer is yes. But now they also have a legit nationwide 5G network. Boost Mobile is a major freaking player right up there with Verizon and T-Mobile. Boost Mobile has coverage across 99% of America now, and they're not

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Look at the Irish to you. Look at the Irish. My Guinness pig over there. You finish one? Yes, sir. Are you guys Guinness guys? Do you drink Guinness more than twice a year? No.

No, I don't. I always like it every time I have it. I'm like, that was really good, but I never just get it. Do you think that's why it's really good? Because it's a special occasion type thing. Like if you started a new job and everyone's like, well, come on out after work and get a Guinness. And you guys did that twice a week or something like that. Do you think you'd be like,

I'm going to just have a Coors tonight. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Dude, I remember getting sick of Guinness. Yeah, I don't think I can drink 16 of these. Like, I can't have, like, a whole day of drinking beer, like, on a boat and have it be Guinness. Like, it can be Coors Light. No, yeah, you could do Coors Light for, like, four days, but, like, a Guinness...

Yummy! We're gonna get some weird Guinness hate, and they're gonna come at us, and they're gonna be like, fuck you, dude! Absolutely, you can drink Guinness all the time. Then we're gonna go on the profile photos, and you know they're gonna be gingers. Look at the Irish to ya! Ginger-vitus. Here's what I'll say about Guinness, though. I

I have a feeling it's better over there in Ireland and all that shit. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I think Argenis is trash. When we went to, I did that USO tour, right? And so I flew on Christmas Day and we went to. USAA. Yeah. And that's their insurance. And God is so good. I think or the bank. I'm not sure exactly what that is. I need that drop. What? The USAA. I'm going to get the drop. Don't worry.

We went to Spain and then Iraq and then Afghanistan and Poland. And then on our way home, we had to stop in Ireland to gas up and then come back across the pond. And by gas up, you mean? Smoke weed every day. Yeah, gas up in Guinness. But no, they allowed us to all get off the plane and go drink. Let's go. Number two. Because it was going to take like an hour.

hour and a half to gas the plane up. Right. And we went there and all just got shithoused off of Guinness. And admittedly, like, I thought it was bullshit. I was like, the Guinness is going to taste the same because I've been to the Budweiser plants, you know, and they're like fresh off the, and you're like, yeah, that's good. I liked it. Right. I'm still going to send it. That's a, that's a can of beer. I liked it. I like Budweiser. This is what it tastes like.

But Guinness, it's definitely – because here I'm – every time I taste a Guinness, I'm like, yeah, yeah, it's good. I like it. And there I was like, this is the fucking most delicious thing I've ever had in my life. That's what I'm saying. Wow. Yummy. I can see that people over there, that's why they're so passionate about it. Right. And you were with Schwarzkopf?

General Schwarzkopf? No, I was with General Dunford. Noriega? I wasn't with Noriega. No, it was General Dunford. No. Are we allowed to? Is this classified? But he was a four-star general. He was like a big deal. It was so crazy seeing a general walk into a room of soldiers. With his fly down? General. Yeah, like doing bits. Putting his thumb through it. They couldn't look.

I wish he did fun bits like that. It was like the amount of respect that you see in these kids' eyes because they're all like 18, 19 years old. It was fucking intense. Permission to tell you your dick is out of your pants, sir.

I must inform you! Sir! At ease, soldier. Sir, your helmet! The other helmet! I know that, soldier. That was a test, and you passed. Stand down! At ease, soldier. Thank you. Major Payne's my favorite movie.

He's just quoting Major Payne. San-sa-tip. San-sa-tip. Adam, did you drink, was it like warm? I feel like I've heard that they drink it like warm over there. Yeah. I've never traveled. I hear their beers are cold over there. Oh, right.

Oh, it was warm. I don't remember it being warm, no. But maybe it was at the airport, so they were making international flavors. Cold. Wait, it was at the airport? Yeah, we stopped at the airport and only had like an hour and a half. And so we went in the airport and drank there. Weird, wild shot. You went to a regular-ass airport with the military? Yeah.

I think so. I don't know. Was it the, was it the clear port? It was in Shannon, Shannon, Ireland. Shut up. That sounds hella Irish. Was it warm or cold? It was cold. I mean, I had like seven or eight within an hour. So I don't remember. You said it was great. And it was the best. It was great. I remember like both me and my dad being like,

Jesus Christ. My dad was like, this is damn good. And I'm like, yeah, it is. Wow. This is nice. And then we were also like, you know, taking shots of Jameson. It was a quick one hour grounded pound. Hell yeah. Classic divine one, two punch. Yeah.

There we go. Could have been warm. Could have been cold. It was a good fucking time. I'll tell you that much. Warm, cold. I don't know. God did the twig. Luck of the Irish. Yeah, y'all. Yeah! Luck of the Irish. Yeah. That's a cool way to end every sentence. Yeah, I was in this fucking accident the other day. This car almost hit me, but... Luck of the Irish to you. Luck of the Irish. It didn't hit me. Luck of the Irish.

Lucky Irish, I'll be sitting here. Hey, check it out, man. I got a curly fry in my regular fries. Lucky Irish. Lucky Irish. Hey, look, I got a hamburger patty on the top of my...

How come that never happens? It's just fast food orders. It's just that. Oh, you just said you got a hamburger patty on top of your hamburger? I ordered six nuggets. I got seven nuggets. Look at the Irish. You always get one curly fry, but you never just get like a hamburger patty on top of your chicken sandwich by accident. You're like, whoa. Yeah, there's never an accidental patty. That's so good.

Check it out. I ordered a pie, apple pie. I got a McRib. But can we get serious real quick? Years ago. Let's get serious. Guys, let's get serious real quick. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. Serious time. Yes. Sometimes we joke too much. Years ago, Jack in the Box had mini sirloin burgers, right? Great commercial. Yes. Yes.

It's still my ringtone. Oh, I know that ringtone. The commercial was great. I'm like, oh shit, I'm gonna go get some sliders. I went to go get the sliders and the bun on the slider was just a regular hamburger bun quartered. So in the commercial, they just showed you the front, which is the round side. But then when you bought them looking down on it, they were just pie shaped cutouts of bun.

the regular hamburger bun. This is important. You know, this is important. Preach. And guys, this is over 10 years ago. You got played, dude. I'm going to tell you right now, you got played. I felt lied to. And I'm so glad we got serious about this. Have you guys ever had a day that bad? Uh, ever? Yes. Ever in our whole life? No.

Worst in quartered buns? And that includes getting hit by the cement truck and having family members die and stuff. Oh, you mean the thing that gave you something interesting to talk about? Look at the Irish. No, I'm asking that those count too? Yeah. Then no, I haven't. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, quartered buns. I can't even imagine. I remember getting those small burgers and they all had complete buns. Oh, wait. You got the sliders and they had a slider bun? Of course.

Of course. I remember mini burgers with complete buns. Jack and the Grizzle. Jack and the Grizz. I'm pretty sure it was Jack and the Grizz. Yeah, Jack and the Bizz. Jack and the Grizz. Jay and the Grizz. No, it's Jack in the Box that is... No, that's Carl's Jr. Carl's Jr. is Hardee's. Correct. They are one and the same. Jack in the Box is its own animal...

I'm a big fan of the commercials. I got to tell you, the guy doing great work over there. He's still doing them. It's like one guy and he does them all. He's still doing them. He writes them. Yeah. Put the hat on. He directs them. I think he was in charge of hiring the like ad agencies. And then he was just like, I'm not liking this. I'm going to do it on my own. And he's I think he's the guy who wears the or at least voices that do with the big globe. Yo. What is.

Is this real at all? Wait, what? This is all real. I did not know this at all. Adam, do you remember when you met me? I had a Jack in the Box head on my... I'm about to say, dude, the antenna balls. We need to talk about the significance of a Jack in the Box antenna ball. Oh, man.

Those motherfuckers were so sick and also got snatched a lot. Dude, no one snatched mine off my minivan. That's crazy. I'm going to admit something real quick. When I had a paper route, dude. Let's get serious. Let's get serious. Let's get serious. Fuck, dude. Those things were so coveted where I was from. Like, people wanted a jack antenna ball, right? And not everybody had them. And I wanted them. And when I was doing the paper route. And what happened? When I was doing the paper route, nobody was up yet.

And I would take the jack balls. You stole. You stole them? You stole them. You know they were $1.99. It wasn't like a Mercedes Benz hood ornament. I took them. How many did you take? And guys, let's be serious. I would like to know that too. How many did you take? Over the course of the time I was a paperboy and they were popular? Yes. Yeah.

Thousands. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe 20. Maybe 20. Wow. 20? And I don't know. I think I might have given them to people. I think I might have. Oh, like you would go to school and give them to girls and be like, I stole this. I think I might have done that. Been like, this is for you. This is a stolen thing. Yeah.

I'm naughty. Do you want to be naughty too? But did it work though? Every time. Were chicks hyped? They were sick. They were dope. I loved it. They called you the ultimate cheeseburger? Yeah, it worked. Of course it worked. That's so sweet. You're the ultimate sourdough Jack. I feel bad. I used to take them if I could. If I could, I'd put them all back. I would go get a bunch and put them all back if I knew who they were. Can I go out on a limb and say that Jack in a Box is kind of

bottom tier fast food to me i'm sorry i'm sorry i said it i used to love that ultimate cheeseburger i i know where you're coming from and i haven't been there in probably 10 years but like you guys are californians coming from somewhere else there was an exoticness to it like a oh what's this and when i put that jack in the box yeah and when i put that bobble the what is it what we call this a bobblehead not about what a no antenna topper an antenna topper when i put that

on top of my antenna. Antenna. I was like, I'm a Californian now. I belong here. Whoa. Really? It was like, I'm a local. Don't hassle me. And we're being serious right now. You're being serious? 100% serious. We've been serious since we called the seriousness. Okay. Let's remain serious. We're remaining serious for a while. I would like to remain serious during this. Are you serious, man? Since I shit on a jack in the box, I will say I love the monster tacos.

And their egg rolls were pretty good. That's how I roll. That's what was cool about Jack in the Box is they had a very large menu. Lots of things. Yeah. And breakfast all day? Breakfast all day is a big win. They just had the weirdest menu. I remember being so weirded out that you could get tacos everywhere.

at the burger joint. I remember cause it's coming from the Midwest. You're like that. Well, that don't happen though. You got to go to taco Johns or the taco bell. Food is still segregated in the Midwest. It's a, it's a very segregated place. Yeah. I remember having the same vibe from getting a hamburger at Del Taco.

Being like, this is a little, like, I don't know how I feel about this. And they have French fries at Del Taco? That's a nay-no. If you know, you know, though, their fries at Del Taco are frickin' hammer. I don't remember them being hammer. I don't know if I would call them hammer, but they're definitely ranch. Yeah. Yeah.

They're like the squiggly sides. Ziggy sides? Is that what they are? No. What are they? Crinkle cut? They're crinkle cut and they're ziggery sides? What did you just call them? Yeah, what is that? Squiggle sides. I said squiggly sides. Yes, sir. Do we want to rank Fry Styles right now? Ziggy sides. Let's do a good old rank down. But we're going to be serious. Okay, we're serious. I would like to be serious. Yeah, I would love to rank. Let's...

Nice, dude. I can see the hamster still. Real quick, before we definitely rank them, that was the best meme or gif of all time, right? The hamster turning around. Hit us with that noise again, dude. Oh, I lost it already. Psych!

Yeah. Great. That's it. Oh, God, it's great. Yeah, it was the best. It is really good. I think crinkle cuts are my fave. I fucking love a good crink. Those are your top? Yeah. Are we talking about style? We're talking about style here, not where you're getting them from? Are we talking cuts of the potato, or we're talking... Cuts of the potato. Okay, okay. I like that. Oh, you guys, you're too Californian.

No. You don't even know different cuts of potatoes, dog? Wake up! Hello. Come on, man. All right. Hello. Hello. Hello. Wake up! I want to be able to do all of them exactly. Hello. That was good. Hello.

I think I like just the straight cut fries. Regular? Shoe string. Are you talking shoe string? Are you talking steak? No, I do not like the thick cut. I do not like steak. Steak cut are the worst. I do not like steak.

Wow. I don't know. I don't dislike steak. Very hard to cook. Well, all fries are fine unless they're bad fries. But like steak cut, even if they're well done, are for me at the bottom of the best of the best. There's too much tato. I agree. A little too much tato. Oh, come on. Well, just have a baked potato if you want to just eat tato. You're trying to get as much crust.

Crispy crisp as you can. I think I'm straight cut thinner the better. So you're talking shoestring French fries. Yeah. Okay, that's your top? That's it. That's the one. And do you have a shoestring French fry restaurant that you're thinking of right now? Or is that just a general... Yeah, well, I'm basically trying to get to In-N-Out. I like the In-N-Out fries. I love fucking In-N-Out fries. Yummy! Well, that's not shoestring, though.

That's a thin cut. That's a thin cut straight fry. No, no, no. Those are a regular french fry. Those are not shoes. Yeah, but I also would take it thinner if I had the choice. I bet you would. I bet you'd take it thinner. You're getting it thicker. Yeah.

I do recall like in high school, we had fish and chips that did have a luck of the Irish. There was a thick cut fry that came with the fish. It had like a light seasoning. It was luck of the Irish. Very tasty.

Bottom of the barrel, though. So are you claiming that shoestring fries are like what you get at like Fritz? Like the really like, like usually if it's a classy restaurant. Yeah. Like super, super skinny. Yeah. The only place I can think of off the top of my head is Kua'aina, which is a Hawaiian burger place. What the fuck?

Stop. You don't know it? No, no one knows it. Whatever, bro. Leave the chat. Whatever, Harvey. Shout out to the most delicious burger place in Hawaii with the pineapple on the burger and they got the shoestring fries. That's Red Robin, bro.

Dude, that's islands. There's one in Burbank. It's islands. And do they have shoestring fries? I bet. But P.S. Don't knock it because it's fucking off the chain. I'm sure. I'm sure it's great. I'm not going to knock a burger place in Hawaii. No one's going to knock it. It's just nobody is on the.

island in Hawaii. Go to the north shore of Oahu. Oh, I'd love to. You fucking lived there, right? Yeah, I was there for a long time. Yeah, Adam, it's on that strand. It's on that strand. I bet it's great. Remember that burger spot, but I wish I did. I kind of blew it. It was just off the top of your head. Mine is crinkle cut. My favorite type of fries are the crinkle cut, and I'm thinking of the bag that my mom would buy.

and she fried them herself. The Ore-Ada? How do you pronounce that one? I thought it was Ore-Ida. I thought it was Ore-Ida too. But Ore-Ada is tight. It's a great name. And I think she probably just used too much

oil. I bet she was just like not measuring shit and was just like, fuck it! Tons of oil on it and it was just like mad crispy and delicious. Big shout out to Penny Devine or Penny Cobb. Penny Cobb. Also, Penny Cobb, is that not the cutest name you've ever heard in your fucking life? Penny Cobb?

That's cute. Swing! Just relax, dude. She's your mom! Very cute, very cute. I'm not trying to fuck her. I'm just, that's cute. I want to pet her like a puppy. Blake painted that picture for us with the swing. Blake, just close that gap. And this is not an offensive thing. Sure, sure. What's up? But be serious. I think I'm 100% serious. I think Penny is a super cute name. Right. Cobb? Cobb. No. Okay. Double B? What's wrong with that?

Cobb is not a cute name, right? Cobb. Cobb. What's a cute last name? What's a cute last name? Featherstone. So Penny Featherstone. What the fuck? That's not a name, dude. I'm sorry. If a girl walked in, whatever her first name is, if her last name is Featherstone, she's got rocking toes. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Exactly.

Dude, Penny Heatherstone? Well, that's sexual. Penny Cobb, that's not a sexual name. That's like a... That's Garbage Pussy Featherstone. And you're still like, ooh, she's an angel. Garbage.

Yeah. Admittedly. Nice Bieber. Hey. Admittedly, yeah. I get that. I think it's... You asked. I answered. Well, that's not cute. Featherstone. But Featherstone itself is cute. Well, my favorite French fry. That's not a cute last name. Featherstone isn't a cute last name. No, Featherstone's cute. The problem is you went from cute to rocket dogs to great fucking... Dumpster pussy. Yeah, to fucking like...

We're talking about cute. You were just like fucking straight up. Cute is porno. Cute and porno. It's science. Cute is. You were equating those two. I'm saying that seems like somebody who walks in and you're like, whoa, that's a cutie. Well, yes, I guess like Penelope. What was your last name? Featherstone. Featherstone. Penelope Featherstone. That's yeah. That's yeah. You're like Miss Muffet sat on the tuffet. So that's cute. Hey, Andrew Dice Clay. Yeah.

Rover took over. Blake's smoking a cigarette wrapped around his head. Hey. Look at the Irish to you. No, I hear you. That's cool. Well, my favorite cut of fry, and this is going to kind of rock the boat a little bit. I'm sorry, guys. Oh, shit. Get him. Sure. Always does. And I'm being serious. Get him, dog. Hit us with it, Blake. Tater tots.

Not French fries, though. Get them. You know what? It's a technicality. I'm sort of with you, Adam, but I am kind of in the realm of like, yeah. No, that's a hash brown. What? Is a fucking hash brown a French fry? The fuck are you guys talking about?

talking about? Okay, that's fair. I like where you're going. Is a hash brown a french fry? That's the question. I like hash browns. Is a hash brown a french fry? No. You just told me about a tiny hash brown, not a fucking french fry, playboy. That's true. You just told us about a nugget of hash brown that you consider a french fry. Yeah. And I'm saying, if that's a french fry, then is a hash brown a fucking french fry? Right. Blake, kill yourself. Yeah, Blake, fuck you, dude. I'm just wondering, where do you draw the line, dog?

Kyle, we're drawing it. I know. I want to know. Put your dick away. It's out. It's not coming back. Stand down. Soldier. I wanted to talk. So tater tot does not count. Okay. Tater tot doesn't count. Okay. Then I'm going to, maybe I might rock the boat again. Oh, get him. All right. Good. Good. Potato skins.

Let me gas you up, Blake. Barbecue chicken potato skins. Gasging you up. Hit us with it. Criscut fries. Waffle fries. Criscut. Good call. Waffle fries. Those are great. That shakes the boat. That rocks the boat. Yep, that's good. I'm with you. I don't think that rocks the boat. I think that's well within the boat. We all have disagreed with that.

Yeah, the boat seems pretty fine. The boat was fine. It moved it in a... Yeah, it shook it up. It was nice. It did shake it up. Thank you. Personally, I liked a little bit of boat rocking. It keeps me moving and balancing. I like it. Boat rocking would be like celery. And we're like, what the fuck are you talking about? And you're like, celery. What are you doing to the boat? Stop rocking. I'd like celery. And you're like, that's not french fry. And you're like, yeah, but it's the same size. It could be... It's like the same... Yeah. Okay. That would be rocking the boat.

Like dehydrated peas. No, copy you. There was no rocking of the boat. Copy you. Now we're just saying stuff. Okay, thank you. Nope, understood. Asked and answered. I love, I love, I called them crisp cut. What'd you call them? Waffle fries? Crisp cut, waffle fries. Yeah. They're the same. Those are good. But I do want to give a special shout out. Is this a Carl's Jr. ref? Mmm.

No. Bowling alley, if anything. The bowling alley. Oh, well, hell yeah. Fuck yeah. I'm talking bowling alley fries. Bowling alleys in general, are they doing what my mom did and just was like, yo, the amount of oil does not matter here? Like we're not measuring shit? Yeah. Extra crispy. 100% they are. I don't know if anyone's doing it, Adam. Just to be fair to Penny Cobb. Yeah.

I'm just being an asshole. Wow. No, dude. I think your mom had like a secret recipe that like people can't battle. No, she definitely did not. My mom's the worst cook. She has no secret recipes. Your mom is not a bad cook. I think she just put them in the oil for too long. And they were delicious? They were just so oily and crispy that they're good. It's like you're drinking oil. But did she tell you or anybody else how to do that? That makes it a secret recipe. Okay. I'm not trying to rock the boat.

Don't do not rock the boat. I can't swim. Don't don't rock the boat. I'm not trying to. Well, to be fair, I mean, I feel like we could pivot to air fryers. Who wants to talk about air fryers? No, leave the chat. Um,

I'm going to go with... Goodbye. I'm going to go with curly fries. Curly fries. Okay. You're going curly because you're a jack-in-the-box Californian. Okay. And you don't get better than... The seasoned curly? Yeah. You get more fry per bite than any other fry. And you can compare the curl. Like, if you get one with a real tight curl, that's a lot of fun. Yeah.

That's a good time. Now that's a feather stone. I like Curlies. Curlies are good. Curlies fill you up. Check out this feather stone. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Look at this feather stone. Mind dipping this into the little ketchup and ranch combo doggy? Ranch? Ranch. Y'all don't fuck with ketchup ranch combo doggies?

I actually don't use anything. If it's a good fry, in my opinion, it doesn't need anything. Bad fries need ketchup. Oh, boy. See, I went to In-N-Out because I just, sometimes I get a fucking hankering for the animal style fries. Like, I just get a fucking craving and I want to eat them with a fork and I want to eat them quick and I want to eat another one right after the first one. Mm-mm.

Well, explain what they are because a lot of people that are from other lands besides California, they don't know. Oh, my God. Yeah. Secret menu. Animal fries are fries. Yeah.

Made from real potatoes that they cut right there. And then they put the sauce on it and they put the cheese on it and little cut up pickles. It's like a Thousand Island type sauce. Spread. They call it spread. Thousand Island. Someone just crashed their car listening to that explanation. Yeah, someone just drove off the fucking bridge listening to that explanation. They're like, I'll never know. I guess I'll never know. It was fine. It's time to die. It was fine. Thank you. It wasn't bad. It was fine.

Fine. Yeah. And fine is an acronym for... What? Fucking idiot did it incorrectly. Oh, damn. You idiots! You should have said fucking I need explanation. It's Thousand Island grilled cheese and onions. Yeah, it's very good. See, that was a good explanation of that. What is it, Adam? Pfft.

Thousand Island, cheese, and grilled onions. Yeah. Yeah. I thought there was little pickles on there. There's not little pickles? You might ask for little pickles. I might ask for little pickles on it. No, pickles are in the spread. Yeah. I don't know. Like diced pickles are in that spread? Yeah, it's a Thousand Island. And they're called the spread? Yes, they call it spread. Yeah.

Have you guys had these? Do you not like them or what? I can't get down with it. You can't. I like it just fine. But it's like to me, I don't get it every time I go to In-N-Out because it's like it's so much. Wow. You're being naughty. Yeah, I will say I love it. Thank you. OK, very good. I think it's fantastic, but it's a naughty purchase.

Naughty. You shouldn't be eating animal style fries every time because it's just, it's a little naughty. It's so yummy. If you eat that and you're not like drunk as fuck and it's two in the morning, you're fucking up. It's like eating poutine midday. Oh, I like poutine too. Like on your lunch break from work. You just don't do it. Oh, okay. You don't.

Okay, so let's keep it real. Let's all let's continue to be serious. Do you do that, Kyle? Do you have poutine? Kyle, you were talking about how you are having a hard time fitting in your clothes you brought up to Canada. So maybe you've been eating too much afternoon poutine. Hold up, but I need a real answer. Do you eat poutine for lunch on purpose?

On occasion, if maybe I want it. Stop. No, I don't eat poutine. What's that occasion? I don't eat poutine for lunch. I don't do that. No. And yes, Adam, I'm a little fat. Okay? Yummy. Okay? I don't fit into my fucking clothes that I brought up here two months ago and I fit into them. Two months. And now I don't. And in two months, I've busted the motherfucking buttons. Okay? What?

Wake up! Two months. That's a little bit of a ground and pound. You must have been pretty close to the end zone. I was riding it, and I was managing it, and then I got here, and I did a 14-day quarantine with nothing but Uber Eats. Check them out. I'm with you. All you stocked their fridge was with just Oreos? Well, I'm going to need some snacks. Nobody's checking me, man. I'm here fucking just like scarfing. I'm like, yes.

I chunked out when I was working in New York in quarantine conditions as well, just ordering from the Irish restaurant. The Italian restaurant. Smith. The Irish restaurant. Smith's. Swedish. Yes.

Yeah.

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I just got to Charleston and Charleston has the best food and I've already not like three times like gotten food that is just like be careful. How many days have you been there? Oh, this is the third day. How many meals?

How many meals out of like not cooked? I haven't cooked any meals for myself. How many meals per day and at what times? Be serious. Am I being serious now? Be serious. Usually I'll wake up and have a meal and then have a meal around dinner time and then a few snacks in between. That was serious? No, it's something about being away from your house and away from your like regular routine that you're just like –

Who cares? I'm a naughty boy. Let me gobble. Yeah, dude. It's the worst. And then once it like fucking pops out with me, like it's just like blue. All of a sudden there's hell of more space, dude. Like it just feels very quick, but not in your pants. Nope. My belly, my, my, my wiener stand down is your rowing machine. Just like where you put bags of fast food when you're done with them. It's like for holding. Yeah, exactly. It's like, I used it. Like I use it for like,

like maybe four or five six times and then I'm like nah I'm not the same for me I'm gonna hang wet clothes on this now yeah yeah exactly yeah it's it's fucked up but I'm fighting back is that row machine close by can you show us that row machine no it's in the other room uh behind the corner it's uh it's at goodwill yeah

I sold it on Craigslist out here. I needed extra cash. He lied to us for no reason a few months ago. I was like, yeah, no, definitely. I'm working out. I've got a row machine. I went at it. I went at it with a pure heart. But then you do these 14-day quarantines, and it's like fucking A, bro. And now your heart's not pure at all. It's filled with grease.

Yeah, it's just exactly, dude. It's slobbed up. Hey, I want everybody to approach your workouts with a pure heart. It's so important to approach your workout. Kyle, I'm looking behind you. Did you hide the Oculus? Were you like, I can't. It's taken over my life. The Oculus is right back there. I use it every once in a while. I actually played ping pong on it. And is that a bottle of lotion next to the Oculus? What's up?

What are those beads? And what is that lotion near the Oculus? Oh, those, uh, nothing. Hey, and we're being serious now. Yeah, no, that's long. Uh, they look like those pincers that you use to pick things up when like you can't reach it. What are those? That's a deep fake. Oh,

Those are my deep fake beads. Deep fake anal beads? Yeah, those are my deep fake anal beads. This is a goof. I just can't turn it off. I can't turn off the visual effects once it starts. Yeah, that makes sense. Funny that you guys saw that. It was very funny. Very funny. Funny that we saw it. And the lotion? The lotion is totally computer generated.

That is CGI lotion back there and it looks so real. Yeah, it looks real. That's what's so crazy. I could probably squirt a little if they're... It's hosing your face. You got the Marvel team over there.

Yeah, yeah. State of the art, baby. Did you guys see the hand sanitizer cam? I think at the Milwaukee Bucks game. They're showing it on like SportsCenter and shit. Oh, yeah. Where it's like hand sanitizer, where it's a giant bottle of hand sanitizer, and then it's squirting, and it's just like hosing people down, but instead of a kiss cam. And people are like gobbling it up as if it's a fucking porno, and it's a Bukkake scene. Just people that are like, ah.

I mean, those are paid actors. Those are paid actors, right? No, no, no, no. It's just everybody in the... In the crowd. Milwaukee Bucks wouldn't hire paid actors to act like they're getting jizzed on by the hand sanitizer. Yes, they would. It's like when they do those kiss cams and the guy's like, I'm on my phone. And then she just turns to the stranger next to her and kisses. And you're like, that's not real. During Corona, you think they'd go out of their way? I don't think...

Only because the NBA is trying to be family friendly. I don't think that they're going to. So Bukkake videos is what they're doing? Don't.

Dog, I don't even understand the premise. Yeah, exactly. I don't think that they... I think it was someone going like, yeah, hand sanitizer. And then people will like hold out their hands and act like they're putting it on as like a public safety thing. Kyle is confused. But then for sure people are drunk at these games and don't want to do that. So they're going like... Kyle, it's like a kiss cam on the Jumbotron. It goes around the stadium and instead of like a kiss cam, it's like this sanitizer bottle and it starts squirting on you. So you like act...

Oh, it's like on the screen? On the Jumbotron. On the Jumbotron, you look up and see yourself getting hosed by the... Oh, I see. And people are going like, oh, yeah. Seems like an inside job. Yeah, people are whipping their titties out. Yeah, it's crazy. I don't think it's an inside job. I think it's just... Is it hot? Is it hot? It's so hot. If it's hot, it's an inside job. No, it was not. It wasn't like Pam Anderson there, you know, circa 1995. Yeah.

getting spotted at the game. It was just like, well, that's, that's peak hot. That's the hottest of hot Jenny McCarthy. Oh, that's it. Well, wasn't that her thing? Wasn't she like spotted at a dumb blonde? It wasn't a Pam Anderson thing. She was spotted at a sporting event. Oh really? Yeah. On, on a jumbo trunk and someone like, are you serious? Yeah. Swear to God. Oh,

That's a big swear. I thought that was Renee Russo. Oh, I love her. I think that she was at a Laker game and got discovered. But I thought you were going to say that this this this whatever cam this Purell cam was at the Grammy Awards where someone did not win the fucking song of the year.

Oh, yeah. We are owed money. Yeah. Who owes us money? Pay me my money. Adam, you're not owed money. If you listen back, you are off the project. Ders and Kyle are owed $100. Yes. Oh.

All right. I think I'm owed money too then. No, you're not. And I realized that. Hey, did you go back and did you listen? He thinks if you go back and you listen. Did you go back and listen, Blake? Wait, what do you mean? Because if you didn't, I'm pretty sure you owe me $100. $100.

No, you were on the Dua Lipa train. You were on the same train. Yes, he was. Me and Durs were not. Hey, guys, there's no way to remember, and there's no way to tell. I believe it's episode 17 of our podcast. I had a Grammy bet that Dua Lipa would win Song of the Year for...

What was it? Can't Stop Now? Well, I thought it was your favorite song. Admittedly, when you played it, I was like... But here's my thing. And actually, I have a little beef with the bet. I could kind of blow it up, right? Because the Grammys were pushed.

The song cooled down. It was hot. Hey, Blake, I don't care. Keep the money, you fucking loser. Wow. And I can tell he's being serious. Alright, I'll take Anders' I'll take Ders' $200 to Kyle? $200 to me. Is that cool, Anders? No, if he's paying, I guess I would say... No, actually, hey, Blake, I don't want my money either. Give it to Kyle. $300 to Kyle. That's $300 to me, Blake. But

That's 300 bucks. And Adam was owed $100. Both of them were owed $100. I remember it clearly. Here's what I want. I want my money. I don't want an excuse. And if I don't, if you shut up. Cool, dad. Then I don't want the money. Like, just pay. Shut up! Shut up! Thank you. Wow!

Look, man, I'm just trying to... I'll pay the money, but I'm trying to plead my case, okay? To me. To me. To me.

You're not getting $300. Fuck that, dude. I want it in Ethereum. I'm going to pay it in NFTs. Okay, I'll give you a LeBron highlight. I want it in NFTs of Blake. You guys know, what's the guy's name? I'm blanking on his name right now. The guy that just sold for $69 million, the NFT dude? Featherstone. It's not Featherstone. I almost guarantee it.

That's too cute. Yolanda Featherstein. But he's a big fan of Workaholics. I just, I started following him and he was like, holy shit. And I've been talking with the guy. Okay, well. You guys seem super close. I'm probably going to get. Who was this? Probably going to get. Some NFT. Tons of fucking NFT artwork. I don't even know what it means exactly, but he does do cool stuff. Nice. You sound like part of the problem.

Hey, Anders, always. I don't know what it is, but money's there. The who? The her. Well, speaking of money, 300 bucks coming to me.

Soon, I hope. Right, Blake? $300. What do you want me to do? Send you cash? Or do you want Canuck bucks? What do you want? Yeah, you're still going to send it. I don't know. Throw it up. Throw it up. Throw it in the mail. You lost, but you're still going to send it. I'm still going to send it. Throw it in the mail. Send it up to the bay. All good. His name is Beeple. Wow. Beeple. Yeah. Beeple, yeah. Beeple underscore crap is his Instagram. Crap?

He does do really cool stuff. He's selling them, right? He's not buying. He's selling them, right? He's selling them and sold. It was something like $69 million. What is this? The NFT. What we were talking about. I don't even know what that is. Kyle's so out of touch. NFTs are essentially digital properties that you can prove you own through the blockchain, which authenticates that you have the one. And then you can...

the value of whatever you have can go up and down based on how cool you are. And then you can sell it to somebody else for $70 million. And so making money out of thin air, dog. Basically it's, it's a hype machine and, uh, better get in while you get in. Sure. Uh, here's what we do. We all take photos of our bars. Hear me out. Hear

I'm listening. Yeah. And we sell it as an NFT. Uh-huh. The only way that we will reveal whose butthole is whose is if it's, if it sells for over, and let's name a price, whatever we think is a fair amount. Uh-huh.

For $60, $100? Oh, it's a four-pack? It's a four-pack? I was going to say $1,000. Is it a four-pack of buttholes? Yeah, it's a four-pack of buttholes. I'm into that. But you will post it, and it's free for the world to see, but no one knows whose butthole it is. They'll just be like, we think it's these guys' buttholes.

Uh, but then we will reveal whose butthole is whose when someone buys it for X amount of money. And this is a really good idea. And Isaac, our manager, our ginger managers listening, look at the Irish to him. Make it happen. Uh, let's, let's work on this. Adam, any take backs or, uh, apologies. I do stand, uh, double down. I do stand by everything I said on this one. Um,

Let me hop on your shoulders here and just say, what if we have a file where it's the four of our buttholes, but it's very pixelated. Now we're talking. But every time it's sold, presumably for more money, it becomes 2% clearer. So if it sells 50 times, it's crystal clear 4K. So that's not the...

how it works. I'm saying it could work. I don't even understand what the fuck this is. And if you've got an item that's like, it's a new fungible token, Kyle, and I don't want to have to explain tech to you, but it's what I just said. It's not new. It's non fungible. Okie dokie. Did I say new? I meant to say non. Non fungible. Yeah. Looks like I had too many luck of the Irish's. Yeah.

fun no i don't i don't take anything back and i think this butthole idea for the non-fungible tokens uh is a really great idea and we are going to be millionaires from by the way butthole pictures in ireland are like regular photos here on this podcast yeah they're they're like uh pubic hair photos here in america

No one of mine. Ooh, yes, pubes. My mom's maiden name is Deal. You got Kyle. Yeah, I apologize. I apologize for saying, ooh, yes, pubes. What's up? What's your mom's maiden name? Oh, K-A-H. What was it? No one cared to ask him, so he's throwing it in at the end. No, I said it. What is it? Oh, Durz, what was yours? The listeners heard it.

Did they? Dude, so offended. Hey, let's be serious right now. Ders is offended. Hey, what is it, Ders? Yeah, I'm serious. Deal. Deal? Her name is Deal. D-E-A-L? Deal or no deal? Yeah, which I also think is that Ellis Island, because in Germany it's like D-I-E-H-O, right?

And it pronounced something else, but deal. D-E-A-L. Why were they changing the names at Ellis Island? And this was important! Does anyone have any takebacks, apologies, giveaways? I don't know anything. We were all getting along. Not a lot of epic slams. Go ahead. You have the floor. I guess I would like to apologize to all our Polish listeners. I may have...

Kind of made you the butt of jokes in my mind that, you know, Polish. In my mind. Right. I just apologize. No.

nice sorry well said very cool very cool i feel like at the end of these podcasts blake's brain is like get me out of here i'm flatlining i can't say anything else nothing's making sense we have to go oh sir i don't like it it's damn yeah uh that's it oh and hey if you have hbo max tig tone season two is available tap in the

Hit him with a plug. A little fantasy fever dream. Get your Tigtone on. Yeah, get Tigtone. Fun show. Nice. Tap in, tap out. Yep. Kyle? Kyle?

I just farted in the microphone. Did you guys hear that? You got anything left? I did it just to apologize for farting. Okay, cool. Let's get to the this is important part. Yeah. This has been... Look at the iris! This is... This is... This is... This is... This is... This is...

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