Ep 35: Which One Of Y'all Kick'd Me?
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His mom stuttered his dad's dick. Honey, we got a zoo to downsize. Ding dong doorbell ditch. Buckle up. And we're back. And we're back. This is important. This is important. Actually, today it is a pretty important podcast. I would say today is. Does anyone want to broach the subject? It's freaking hump day.

The weekend's almost here. Crack a beer. And speaking of humping. Everybody's humping around. What happened about nine months ago, Kyle? Oh, baby. I humped. Oh, damn. Is that how you did it? You humped a baby? Yeah. That's the last time I humped. That's the last time I humped my wife. Yes, correct. Right there. In a Burger King bathroom? In a Burger King bathroom, we did the Humpty Hump and we got pregos.

And the baby came out yesterday. Oh, baby. Very, very nice. Blake, I was waiting for an it's science from you. Dude, I just switched my shit over, so we are back. Wake up! It's always a few minutes in. It's never before the podcast starts. Nope, never right on time. Can you tell time?

i'm still gonna send it hey congrats big daddy baby big congrats dude that's awesome thank you it's very important stuff yeah yeah for real that gets my pecker hard yeah man mine was nine months ago

So, you know how like some people when they'll name their kids like Austin and they're like, because we were on a trip to Austin and we actually knew that it was the baby was made in Austin. Right. Pinpoint. Right. You know, like exactly the weekend or whatever that were you able to pinpoint the time or no? Yeah. Can you pinpoint the actual come? The come that did it? There's just so much banging over there that there's no pinpoint. Yeah.

Dude, here's the thing. I was, I can basically narrow it down to two. So I'm 50%. Like I know, I know where it and when it was. Nice. See, the thing is, is like when you have a, when you make a baby, you want it to be like a sensual lovemaking session. Cause if it's like, Oh,

If you're swinging from the top ropes, then you're like, oh, this kid's going to be a maniac. It's science. That probably is how it works. It was sensual. It was beautiful. The lighting was pretty fucking stellar. It was all good. So completely dark? You had some grips in there? I'm almost positive I was made from a rage bang.

Dad came home mad. Yeah. I think I must have been too. After a fight? Like after your parents cut? No, it was like my pop's sports team didn't win. He's like, I'm going to just have to blaze this one out, brother. Oh, man. Blaze. Okay. Yeah, they even took the name. Yeah, Blake. And your mom's cool with that? Yeah, she's super hyped. Yeah. Oh, no. The Rams lost. I'll be upstairs. She got a young go-hard out of the deal. Come on. That's true. It's true. Here we go.

That's true. She got an old go hard. And how hard are you? An old...

Yeah, an old ghost off. I wonder if there's no science to that, right? That's how the sex is going in? To how the personality of the human is? Dude, of course there's science. There's gotta be something. There has to be. There's gotta be some science to it. There's gotta be some kind of science. There's gotta be some science. It's science. There we go. Thank you, Blake. Yessir.

There has to be, dude. There has to be like the vibe that, yeah, because that little sperm was feeling it and swimming. That's the one that was feeling it because of the vibe. You know what I mean? Yeah, that one was thrown out of there real quick. You know when somebody was a doggy style conception. Oh, for sure. You know. You know. I know a few doggy style boys and girls out there. I've met a few. They're cool. They're laid back. They're chill. Yeah.

Are they laid back? I was going to say they're the opposite of laid back. They're like throwing it back. Laid back would be missionary, no? Yeah, that'd be laid on their back. I guess I was just completely taking Snoop Dogg into style. It's kind of early. It's a little early. Good morning! 69, dudes!

All right. Good job on the board. Good job on the board, though, bro. Well done. Stick to the board today. Maybe your audio isn't the thing today. Maybe it's... Adam was definitely a pile driver.

Downward. Upside down and inside out. Going to show a part of people what it's all about. Yeah, guys. But I like to believe that it's not a standard pile driver. I like to believe that my dad was on his back with his dick up in the air. Bro, that is called something. And your mom was sitting on it? She dropped in. My mom was pile driving onto that. That is called Amazon style, by the way.

It is. That's Amazon style, dude. That's a real deal. You're an Amazon baby. You had that one ready to go. Kyle knew that. The name of that one. Funky butt loving. I recently figured it out. We were like talking about it on set or something. And somebody was like, yeah, it's Amazon style. And I was like, what?

Why is it called Amazon style? I don't know if that's appropriate set talk. Go ahead. Yeah. Oh, come on, doggy. Canceled. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, what happens on set stays on set unless you have a podcast and you're talking about sex.

That's what I'm talking about. Or a person with ears. Well, why is it called Amazon style? I mean, it's very interesting. No idea. This is what I would guess is because it's some sort of like woman-dominant style and like Amazon is associated with like extremely strong women that can whoop ass and shit. I believe women.

Wonder Woman is from Amazon. Like, not the Amazon, but a place called Amazon, right? Huh. Yeah. It might have all came from that. All that... I don't know. All that checks out to me. Yeah. Well, there's Amazon Women on the Moon, a classic film. Oh, yeah. So, basically, we're saying, like, the girl, like, shoves the man down, like, throws his legs over his shoulders, like, pulls his dick up through his legs. I'm listening. I don't think...

She doesn't need to be violent. I don't think Penny Devine, my mother, was violent to my father. I think my dad was like, honey, let me get into our baby-making position. Thank you, Adam. I think my sister has the exact same attitude as I do. I feel like Brittany Devine and myself are very similar people. I think we're both made in this Amazon style. And

and this is just how they make babies. This is their baby making position. Oh, the thought of somebody just being like, honey, let me get into our baby making position real quick. Then putting his legs over his shoulders on her back and then pushing his boner backwards. So people can predetermine their child's like demeanor based on how they screw. Yeah, that's cool. That's what we're hypothesizing right now. I'm so,

So excited! I believe it's science. It's science. We're not done with it, dude. The fact that we really leaned into it, science, tells me it's still good.

Give me a hell yeah. I will give that a hell yeah. What do we think Steve Austin, how do you think his parents did it? Oh, dude, his mom stunned his dad's dick. Yeah, okay. She definitely stunned it. I asked, you answered. Well said, yeah. But that means that, well, it was just, because a stunner is where you basically like hold over your shoulder and then fall on your ass. So basically his dad was...

He was holding his dick on the shoulder. No, no, no, no. It's more like the mom was like kind of like holding the dad by the neck and he was like kind of holding her in a sitting position. So it's like a stunner that's just stunning her onto his donker. So it's like a fall down doggy style.

ending up in something like that. Is this all wrestlers? Was Razor Ramon conceived by the Razor's Edge? Yeah. I feel like, yeah. I feel like they all have to do their finishing blow. Also, we're talking about career choices as opposed to... What did Hacksaw Jim Duggan's mom do to her dad? Like, just take a two-by-four? Oh,

Oh, yes. The Undertaker tombstone, baby. The football takedown. Jake the Snake. Jake the Snake was actually my father. I was born in a pit of vipers. My name is Rog. By the way, have you ever listened to like a Jake the Snake interview? Have you watched the movie Beyond the Mat? It's like an old documentary. I don't know if I have or not. Jake the Snake is the most intriguing bro ever. He was like the craziest bro.

right? That was his kind of thing. He was like a total... When he had a snake, that's pretty crazy. Yeah, that is pretty wild. Well, his whole thing, he like goes into like he just had a really weird relationship with his father. For sure. And that's kind of where all the snakes stem from. Yeah.

This is like biblical storytelling. Well, I will say that anyone that's too into snakes, I'm immediately like, they have some weird shit with their father. Weird, wild stuff. Not even allegedly. I stand by that. It's 100%. There's no exceptions. If you're too into snakes, you got some demons. Didn't DDT Yoga save Jake the Snake Roberts' life? DDP. DDP. Diamond Dallas Page. DDP. Pardon me.

DDT was his finishing move. It's very easy to confuse. Yeah, I think so. I saw that on Real Sports, I think. Real Sports with Brian Gumbel, my favorite fucking show. Best style in the world, Brian Gumbel. You do love Brian Gumbel. Yeah, it's just Brian Gumbel and six of the oldest journalists of all time. I'm talking about small people playing tennis. Did DDP save – I know he saved Razor Ramon. Jake the Snake too? Yeah.

Like, I know he swooped in on Razor when he was in a wheelchair. I thought it was Jake the Snake. I'm with Durs. I thought it was Jake. No, Razor was also in the piece by one of those old people. The oldest man alive who works for Brian Gumbel. I love Brian Gumbel. Yeah, Scott Holland. I wonder if all of those old people that work for Brian Gumbel are a little bit like, yo, I've been in this game for, like, obviously 160 years.

And Bryant Gumbel, you know, he's like 40 years younger than me. I have to work for him. Why don't I have my own show? Yeah, because they're scary looking. Like I know specifically the guy you're talking about. There's that one dude who looks like like a cryptkeeper. Who, Bernie? Yeah, he does. No, no. Well, he died. He just died. Oh, he did. Oh.

R.I.P. to him. The giant dude with the giant jackets from NPR, he died. Yeah, he looked scary, but then all of his pieces were the sweetest things you've ever seen. And you're like, well, judge a book by its cover. Don't do that. No, don't. He was like the South Bend Shovel Slayer from Home Alone. He was super scary, but a nice guy. He just needs to call his kids. Exactly like that. Or James Earl Jones from Sandlot. Also, but we should teach kids...

Like, hey, like also trust your instincts, you know? Yeah. Sometimes judge a book.

Like every once in a while. Oh, yeah. You see a person who looks like a creep and they're a creep. Yeah. But looks like or just actions. Watch their actions. But so I got a story here. Okay. Hometown Evanston, Illinois. There was a guy growing up that everyone called Bicycle Man. And Bicycle Man. Perfect. And I think Tina Fey wrote about him in her book because she worked at RYMCA when I was a kid.

Wait, so Tina Fey was checking you in at the YMCA when you were a kid? I think we had to have crossed paths when I was working out of the gym in high school and she was working the front desk. I mean, we are really peeling the layers back on Anders Holm. We're learning all kinds of stuff about him. I'm glad we're doing this. Yeah, she worked at our Y, which is a whole other story. But she writes about it in her book. It's a trip. But so this dude, Bicycle Man...

was kind of like this mangled dude that would hobble around our downtown. And this is before anybody wore a helmet. And this dude...

like riding bikes. And this dude, he was in a like car accident. He got hit when he was on his bike. So when you would cruise past him with no helmet on, he'd be like, we chase you to be like, get a helmet on. And he would always wear a helmet, but we would just be like, Oh shit. He's like scary. He's hobbling. He's chasing. And we'd just be like, fuck you. And like cruise off as like bad-ass little nine year olds. Uh, but looking back, I'm like,

He was just trying to do a service to all the children of this community because he had some savage shit happen to him. Sure, sure. He just might have been approaching it the wrong way. You shouldn't chase children down and say, wear a helmet. But he had like his speech was kind of fucked up. He didn't wear a helmet. That's probably what happened. Yeah, right. That's maybe how he got there. Exactly. He's the living warning. Yeah, I was right there with you, Adam. I was right there with you, dude. Hey, and Adam's here.

To be fair, though, it is harder to tell. Like judging books by their covers is harder to tell nowadays because in our days, like if you saw a fully tattooed person, that was someone coming straight out of prison or some kind of drug addict. But now face tattoos, you could be a nanny. You could be a really good person, really sweet. Not in my house, but yeah, I know you mean.

Oh, wow. Okay. No, no face tattoos coming in here. It's a fucking J.K. Rowlings. I'm J.K. Rowlings, you guys. I'm just messing with you. So what does that mean? Hmm? Because she's in a lot of hot spots. What does that mean? Yeah, what's up? Hey, don't judge a book by its cover.

That is something funny, though. Like in like your local area, there's always that one person that is always out walking that all the neighborhood kids call like a specific name. Sure. Kyle was that guy growing up. Kyle.

Kyle's still that guy in his neighborhood. There's the smoking child. Yeah. No, my neighbor basically, we, my neighbor had like, he was the older kid on the block. And I remember all the other kids were like banding together out in the outside playing and he never came out, but we always made fun of him because he had hella zits, dude. And so why are you laughing now?

No, no, it's horrible. It's horrible. But I have to get to the nickname that we call them because for whatever reason we had like taken an old box of pizza and put it in the road. Cause we were obsessed with fucking like watching cars run over things. Right. And just like about that, having been run over, I thought it was so tight. Like,

But we would throw these pizzas in the road, like old pizzas. We would put them in the road and we'd be like, road pizza. So this dude who had hell of like zits, we used to call him fucking road pizza. That was his nickname. It was hell of a name. That's actually kind of a hard nickname. I'm road pizza. Right. That's what I'm saying. Now I look back, I'm like, that's road pizza.

Radical road pizza. That's cool. If he would have just owned that nickname, he's like, yeah, I'm road pizza. Then you can't make fun of him. He's going to Cape Fear you. No, he used to storm out of the house angry and scare us all away because we would ding dong doorbell ditch him and stuff and just terrorize him. Ding dong doorbell ditch? Ding dong doorbell ditch. Yeah.

A lot of words there. Yeah. How old, how old is this guy? This guy was probably like 16 or 17 when we were like seven or eight or something. Oh, okay. So for sure you were right to be scared of this kid because I feel like those at that age, like this kid might just like snap and beat the shit out of you. Well, that's what we saw when he would charge out of the, out of the, out of the house. It was scary, you know? And I was like, sorry, we didn't mean to call you road pizza. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I,

And he's like, I never even heard you say that. Yeah, he doesn't even know what it means. I just don't like you throwing your trash in the street. You called me what? You called me road pizza? He's like, well, explain that. I'm going to get a face tattoo that says road pizza. Okay, that's awesome. We had a guy, we kind of named him, he was called the F you guy, the fuck you guy. Because me and...

Zach. Fuck it. We were leaving a party and we were going to... I wish I was pizza. His name is I Wish I Was Pizza on Instagram. Follow him. And we were going to get beer or something and we were going to come back to the party. And we leave and this... I had a convertible in high school, 1993 Cavalier convertible. It's science. It's science. It truly is. And I was driving and this guy...

We're passing him and I look over at him and he looks back at me and he goes, fuck you. And I go,

Well, fuck you. And then I slow way down and he walks backwards in the street, which is a busier street in our neighborhoods called Old Millard Road. And he's like, fuck you. And Zach stands up in my car and is like, fuck you, you motherfucker. Fuck you. Fuck you. Just like little children screaming at this man. He walks backwards in the street, gets hit by a car going 35 miles an hour. Oh, my God. That's not what I saw this. Holy shit.

Just distracted? And he didn't see the car? Yeah. He walked backwards into a street, gets clipped by this car. The car stops, gets out. We're like, uh, we're, you know, we're like 16 years old. Okie dokie. And I was like, fuck, what do we do? And so we took off.

Yeah, allegedly, allegedly, allegedly. Allegedly, allegedly. No, we took off. The other car stopped. The other car did stop. The one that hit him. The one that hit him. Ultimately, it's... It's their fault. And also kind of our fault. It's a court case. Okay. We were like, holy shit. And we come back and tell the story. And then for years, you saw the fuck you guy in our neighborhood.

And I had a very recognizable car because I, I was an idiot and I painted my hubcaps red and shit. It's a white convertible. And, uh,

I saw this guy all the time and he was constant. Like every time I would like see him, I'm like, he's going to come and fucking murder me. Like I'm going to walk out of the blockbuster and this man's going to stab me with a bottle. Yeah. What you don't realize is he has zero recollection of anything that happened around that time. Just like you don't remember that much from your accident, correct? Like that,

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's probably true. And also, this guy was definitely fucked up. He was like stumbling. He was like saying fuck you to a bunch of children. Before. Yeah, to us. He was like, fuck you. We didn't do anything. We just were like driving past and we're like, oh, fuck you. What do you think if... So he clearly had some shit going on before, but what if the accident like fixed everything and he became super smart and was like a supervillain and...

I'm pretty sure he lived under our local bridge by the batting cage in Taco Bell. That's where they start, but that's where they start. Yeah. That's the first chapter of his book. In the dark corners of the batting cage. And he gets super handsome and he becomes an Elon Musk type guy. Okay. I like this, Darius. I'll walk down this. Sure. Little drones get him dressed. Oh, dang. Did you say Elon? Did you say Elon, by the way?

How did you say his name? You call him Elon Musk? Elon Musk? How did you pronounce his name? He's got a long musk. Okay. Am I supposed to say Elon Musk? Elon. Well, how did you say it? Can you say it one more time how you said it? Elon. Elon.

Okay. I think people say Elon Musk because it's like electric cars. He's trying to capitalize on that. His real name's Elon. Maybe. You think it's an advertising thing? Yeah. Everything's marketing, guys. What is the country of origin for the name Elon? South Africa. Oh. So he's got a Dutch name, I would guess.

venture to hypothesize. Yeah. That's cool. Okay. All right, cool. Elon Musk, I'm down. So this guy you hit is Elon Musk. He gets dressed, little drones dress him. He has science glasses that can project computer screens into his eyeballs.

And he's worth $100 billion, right? Yeah, I could see that for him. Now that you're really spelling it out, I see that for the FU guy. And he invites you to his house, right? And you're like, oh my... And he goes, I'm the guy. And you're like, what? And he tells you the story. And then you're like, oh my God, so what? And he goes...

I'm going to hunt you now. It definitely feels like the beginning of a, like, I know what you did last summer. Yeah. Like is the premise of, I know what you did last summer. Right. Like, yeah, essentially. Is that right? It's a, it's an update. You know, the, did I mention the drones dress him in, in the morning? Oh no, I know. Yeah. You know, no, no, no, no. That was sick. Yes. That's super sick. I was like, imagine that visual in the trailer. Yeah. So tight. Oh, dude, I have a story.

I did acid. What? LSD. All right, man. Yeah. Perfect. I did LSD, man. What would we do wasting our opening on fucking Kyle's baby? Yeah, what the fuck? Don't remember doing it. Wait, how do you not remember doing LSD for the first time? That kind of makes sense. Okay, so...

I go over to my neighbors and they're all vaccinated. Everybody's vaccinated and they invited us over and we're like, okay. And we go over there and these guys are just pounding tequila. Wow. And it was a couple weeks ago and I'm like, okay. Yeah. I guess it's tequila o'clock and I just start hammering tequila and get really drunk and like come back to the house.

I slept on the couch. Chloe made me come to the bed at like 5 o'clock in the morning. And then the next day, I'm like, how did I get so drunk? Like I got so fucking drunk. And normally I don't get – like normally I remember – like even when I'm drinking, I usually am not blackout drunk. And I'm like, I know I took a lot of tequila shots, but I feel –

I love it. I feel like I should have, I shouldn't have blacked out in the way that I did. And, uh, you're concerned. This is abnormal. It was a new blackout. Uh, and that was a couple of weeks ago. And I've been like, I bought them a bottle, a really nice bottle of tequila. Cause I'm like, I feel like we stayed there too late. Like, was I being weird? And Chloe's like, no, you were being fine. Like it was totally fine. I don't, you're having a case of like the Sunday scaries or whatever the kids call it. Uh,

And like they say, go back to let me write that down. Yeah. What the fuck is that? No, they say Sunday scares is like the feeling of you fucked up over the weekend. Like you got too fucked up and you said something or did something. It's also the anxiety of going back to work and the anxiety. Yeah. Yeah.

And so I was like all anxious and weird. And Chloe's like, you were fine. Yeah. And then I saw the dude last week and he was like, dude, last weekend got a pretty fucking out of control. Huh? And I think he's like going like, yo man, you got really drunk at my house. Right. And I'm like,

I'm like, yeah. And like, again, I'm so sorry about that. I don't know. You know, I would like to come back over sometime. Like, and he was like talking to his other friend and he was also there that night and was like, yeah, I can't believe you busted out the acid.

Who did? You did? No, his homie. His homie. No, the other guy. Oh, okay. Yeah. And I'm like, ha ha ha. Huh? What? Yummy. He was like, yeah. I mean, that was a real turn of events at like 11 o'clock at night. And I'm like, say what now? And they were like, we did acid. And I'm like, I didn't. I've never done acid. And he goes, you sure as hell did the other night. We all took acid together.

Wow. So I just took acid and he goes, I busted it out thinking that no one was going to do any. And you grabbed it out of my hand and fucking plopped it in your mouth like a lunatic. Oh my God. So wait a second. I'll do it. What? So you were drunk enough that you would do acid because do you think you would, do you think you would have ever done it? Done acid?

I don't think... I think I probably... I mean, maybe, but it would have been like, we're doing acid. Exactly. So how drunk were you that you were like... It's not going to be a drunk decision, which evidently it was. And then I think that compounded with how drunk I was, and then it just like blacked out most of the night. From the taquiza. I mean, honestly, Adam, I had a similar... Like, I...

I think I have also done acid when we were in Vancouver. Remember, dude, remember we were like kicking it at like Seth Rogan's like apartment and there was the homie there that was like, yeah, I've got acid. It's all good. And I had reached the point where I was drunk enough where I'm like, yeah, fuck it. I'll do it this time. And then we like went out to those clubs and shit. And it was just, you were talking to Seth's dog for a while. Yeah.

Wait, were you talking – I'm not going to name names. Were you talking about that director dude that was there? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, remember? He was like a psychedelic bro. He was like – like when you're going into that world, you really want somebody who acts like they've been there several times in your life. Because he's from the tech world, right? Yeah, yeah. And then he – yeah. Yeah, I felt very comfortable doing it, too comfortable, and I was already like –

kind of shit face. So I'm like, this is the guy. This is my guy. Let's go. First time for everything. Wait, but you don't remember the effects it had on your mind. Neither of you remember anything about doing the trip. No, other than like, Chloe was like, yeah, you're being really weird. Like you would not go to sleep. Like I was tired. It was like one o'clock in the morning. I was going to sleep and you were like,

pacing around tweaking you like wouldn't go to sleep uh i was like was i still drinking you're like no you didn't want anything else to drink you were like just drinking like water and uh and then i finally i must have fallen asleep at around four or five in the clock in the morning yeah i think i had a similar thing it felt like you're like kind of like just on a on a good one sort of like i remember we were just like dancing and clubbing and like but i didn't feel like

Super out of my mind. But then again, maybe me and Adam are just like really good at doing that. Yeah, maybe we're just great at it. You possibly could be, you know, I mean, like, dude, my father, it's his favorite drug of all time. Like, it's supposedly a great, great experience.

Well, I think it might have been a great experience if I could remember even doing it. If that's the kind of experience you like, experiences you don't remember, which I'm a fan of. Experiences you almost don't have. That's also mixing it with like a high quantity of alcohol. Yeah, a gallon of tequila. Well, to be fair, anything I've ever experienced, I've robbed myself of like pure like drug experiences because it's always kind of mixed with alcohol. Oh, right. Yeah. Yay!

That's a bummer. I like kind of the sad comment and then thrown in the yeah. Yeah, I have a problem. Yeah! So you guys have both done acid now unbeknownst to yourselves and you don't even remember the high, the trip, the whatever. Yeah, that's correct. So now are you more inclined to do it again? I know!

Do it again? Am I what now? I'm not going to say it. Just shut the fuck up. Are you more inclined to do it again or are you like whoopsie daisy? Yeah, I guess I was never. Are you having some Sunday scaries? I guess is what I'm asking. Good job. Is your night night juice having Sunday scaries? No.

Oh, boy. I think we've got our title for this podcast. Yeah, no, I think I would try it again. Like, I'm not opposed to doing it. No, I know, but are you like, fuck, I missed out. Like, when you see those dudes again, are you going to go, hey, let's do it again. I'm not going to drink as much. Like, are you going to make an appointment to not literally appointment, but like, are you going to make an effort to do it? Or is it going to be like, well, if I'm blackout drunk again, I'll do it.

No, I don't think that is never the goal because I do think – because I've done mushrooms quite often. Sure. And it's way better when you're not drunk, like when you're just on mushrooms. Right. It's way more fun. Yeah. So, yeah, I think – I'm not going to make an appointment to do it or like plan on doing it. But I think if it presented itself and I was like, you know what? Yeah, that is what we're going to do, then I would do it. But I'm –

I'm not like super stoked on it. Like are you pissed that you missed out on the trip is what I'm saying, I guess. That's exactly like what the fuck. I don't drink and I'm like I kind of want to do LSD, but for me, I would be coming at it from a very pure perspective.

of like just doing LSD for the day. Oh, good for you. But you're saying if I scheduled that and made an appointment, you wouldn't be there with me? Uh, yeah. No, I'll do it with you, Kyle. Oh, yeah. As soon as you throw it as like a friendship challenge, I'm there, babe. Then we're in. Hey, what we have to do is we have to do it and then an hour and a half in, start the

Yeah, dude. In the same room. I think we should do this. Let's do the podcast on acid all referee because I'm not going to do it. You should do it too, Anders. What was that? Looney Tunes? What the fuck was that? That was us taking acid, my bad. Yeah, that works.

Durs, you wouldn't do it? Yeah, I'm not interested. Even in a tiny little amount of it? Yeah, I'm good. Wait, what's even the point? If you're not going to do it, do it, then why even do it? Because if we're all on acid, it's going to be the worst podcast ever, but I can be... No, you can't say that. You don't know that. That is correct. I don't know that. Right. I understand the assumption, though. I get that. But having someone to kind of steer the ship...

I would like for you to be our Sherpa. Yeah, that actually... Yeah. All right. I'm not mad at that. Ders just grills us on Donald Sutherland trivia the whole time while we're on that. First of all, I downloaded a bunch of pictures I'm going to post on today. When you see these pictures, he was essentially just Carl back in the day. Was he really? I can see that. Yes. You'll see. I'm posting pictures today. Oh, I can't wait.

Maybe, how about this? How about we, the three of us, take acid and we just watch your favorite Cheers episodes and we just kind of go through them. Yeah, we could just watch the pilot, I guess. Okay, there we go. Hey, now that's a high I can get behind. Alrighty then. Well, that's Avatar. Avatar.

Right.

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Last night I watched some Workaholics Eps because we're working on the movie now, so I'm trying to refresh on some deep cut jokes that we have in the show. And I watched Carl's Wedding, which I haven't watched in forever. Oh, baby. God damn it, Kyle. You were so fucking – you should have won awards for your acting in that episode. Complete transformation. Complete transformation. The haircut and like the band-aid on his neck. And that haircut. I mean.

And he had a rat tail. Did you see the rat tail? There's one shot where you see it. I did the real haircut. For the audience members that haven't seen this episode, Carl has this insane bowl cut, this crazy six-inch rat tail that's hanging out the back of his neck. Was it braided? Is it braided? Yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah, it is. You were changing for this girl, Hannah, which was played by Hana Mae Lee, who I was in Pitch Perfect with, and

Sewer Dwayne. We caught Sewer Dwayne sucking on her titties. Kyle Kinane. The voice of Comedy Central. Kyle Kinane was sucking. I believe Blake said the butter out of her titties. Yeah, there's a lot in that episode. That's how I roll. Sucking the butter. Oh my God.

god yeah that was uh that's a fantastic episode i feel like that episode doesn't get the amount of love that it should because especially in that second season there's so many good episodes i think it kind of gets a little buried but it's it's so good i remember when i got my haircut i was like uh this isn't fucking sane but let's go this is crazy is this with jacob dylan impersonator

That looks nothing like Jacob Dillon. We were hitting our stride. We were like, let's have a Jacob Dillon. No other show is doing this. And we also, didn't we get a Heidecker and Woods song? Yes. Oh, when Durs was trying to buck my mom. Oh.

Oh, yeah. That's right. And we were super into like Tim Heidecker's like band, Heidecker and Wood. We even saw them at – where did we see them play live? At the Largo. Largo. Largo. Me and Kyle were kind of all in on that. Dude loved Heidecker and Wood.

They only came out with one album, right? Or did they do another one? Yeah, well, because now, maybe they did two. You got to treasure it. What the fuck happened to Wood? But now Heidecker's on his like serious shit. That's what I'm asking. Where's Wood? What happened to Wood? Where's he at? He did Acid. Oh.

Oh. He did acid and he was never the same. Blackout drunk and we never saw him again. He fell off the deep end. That's right because Ders' whole storyline was like that. He wanted to buck. I was trying to buck my high school – we had like a pact, like a high school pact where if neither of us was married at a certain age, we would hook up or something like that and she couldn't remember. And then of course I like –

was a dick to Carl and that was a huge turn off for her so then I blamed Carl and I said I was going to buck his mom as like payback and she had a lazy eye too she pulls off her glasses right before we're about to actually have sex and her eyes go across and she goes are we about to buck or what Braj and I was like perfect I can't do this it's too much like Carl that woman did such a great job

of giving herself a wonky eye. I was like, oh my God, that was perfect. I was laughing aloud by myself last night at that moment. I mean, she truly did a great job with that. Also, I love the storyline that she's just down. Like, Durr's just sedursed her so easily and hard that immediately she's like, yeah, I'll fuck this guy. Hey, as we've always said, we know chicks. We know chicks.

And then you're like running around with – you need like a date to the wedding for some reason? Yeah. You run around like the homeless chick? That's right. Oh, and also like did a storyline that like now I feel like we wouldn't – I feel like there's a lot of storylines at work all except we probably wouldn't even broach nowadays. But like I was 16 and I was in love with this 11-year-old. That's right. Because she was tutoring me with math. Oh, yeah. And that –

We were going to finally date when she was 18 and I was however old. That's right. And so I went back to find her and she was like, I was actually nine. Right, right, right. Oh my God. And I just used you to rides to go to Arby's.

Yeah, that was the joke in our episode. Isn't she a famous person? No, her sister is. But the whole family is like actresses, right? Yes. Actors. They are Hunter King and Joey King. Oh, right. Right, right, right.

Luckily, that was just kind of like a little punchline and that wasn't your whole storyline where Adam's like obsessed with a young girl and we're like, oh, God, this didn't age. Holy shit. True. But then I go and I meet this like kind of drug addict. We assume homeless girl. Katie Sackhoff was the actress playing it. Very funny. Right. She was insane. And she was awesome. And then we come to the house and take a bunch of bath salts.

and cough medicine and night-night juices and, uh...

And then we get all fucked up and I'm convinced that Jacob Dillon is there performing for the wedding. Right. Kyle, what did you do with your haircut though? Did you live with the bowl cut in real life or did you shave your head the next day? I can't remember. Well, I had to rock it for a week. So it was – I rocked it while we shot it. And then I kind of fucking like cut off half of it and did this weird like –

I don't know. It was definitely a weird one. I'll try and find some pictures of what I tried to come back with. You're not going to tell us? Yeah. I can't remember. I know I kept the tail for a while. Like I had the tail in my hair as it was growing out for a while because my wife went to cut my hair and she cut the tail out of it and I got fucking heated.

I was so pissed. Your wedding was off. Wedding was off for a minute. In my mind, yeah, we weren't married at that point, so I was seriously considering, is she the one? She cut off my power. That was my tail. I'm pissed now! Jackie Chan in Shanghai Noon when he cuts off his cue and he's like, you shouldn't have done that. Now he's going to get mad. Wow, great ref. Damn. That was a movie I dragged my now wife to in the theater and she was like, I don't know what the fuck this is.

Great movie to see in the theater. Shanghai Noon. Shanghai Noon. Yeah. Did that come out around the same time as Wild Wild West? After. This was when I was in college. Shanghai Noon is fucking unbelievable.

unbelievable. I mean, Jackie Chan is in it. What's the cue? What are you saying? What cue? The long braid, Kyle. The braid that Jackie Chan has. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I don't remember that part. Sorry, I'm not totally versed in Shanghai Noon. I like the movie. Not many are. Ders is a historian. I think I know what we're watching when everyone's on asset. Ders has never seen a single Fast and Furious, but he watches all the Shanghai series. I never saw Shanghai Night.

or nights or whatever, to be fair. Oh, wow. How many are there? There's three? What, Shanghai noon, then what, Shanghai... I think there's just two. How is there not... They've got to do five so it can be Shanghai five. Oh. Okay. Goodbye. Bring it back, baby.

Yeah, they have to do that. They have to. They have to. Shake high five. It just rolls right off the top. I mean, that's Jackie Chan though, right? Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson. I mean, Jackie Chan does not make flops. That dude is flawless. He is un-fucking-believable. Operation Condor, baby. So good. Uh,

No. The guy makes flops. What? The guy makes flops. What's a flop? Dude, I was – I might do this thing with Peacock. So I'm on Peacock, the streaming service, and I'm looking at like all the shows and movies they have. I'm like, what does Peacock have to offer? Yeah.

You are so dumb. It's the acid. Broke his brain. What do they have to offer? Okay, now what's your opinion? So I'm on there. I'm looking at everything. And I'm like, wow, they have a lot of really awesome movies and a lot of really good stuff. And I was very impressed. But then I was like, let me dig in the crates to see what they really got. And so I started to look at all their projects.

A through Z. And I got into a Shanghai Noon Jackie Chan run. And I'm like, what is Jackie Chan in like on this platform? Okay. And there was maybe 15 movies that I had no idea what the fuck they were. Have you watched them though? That doesn't mean they're bad. Yeah. Like movies that have stars in them, but like you've never seen them.

The Tuxedo? Is that one of them? He has a huge career. Yes, but Kyle, these were like Adrian Brody was in the movie. Right, but that's everybody. But sorry, let me just clarify here. Everybody that's at his fame level has those movies on Netflix and Peacock and all those things now. Nicolas Cage made like 11 movies last year. No, no. Hey, absolutely. And I'm for it. I think it's awesome. I'm not shitting on him. I'm saying that he doesn't make only hits.

That's what you guys were saying. You were like, he makes only hits. But here's what I will say. I will say that Jackie Chan is a hit himself. He's un-fucking-believable. This dude was in Fist of Fury, Game of Death, End of the Dragon with Bruce Lee way back in the day. He's been around greats. And then he fucking came over here, obviously was discovered as a star in China, and he like...

became the biggest star in the world. I'm with you, man. I'm not saying that I'm against Jackie Chan. Like, I like Jackie Chan. I think he's fucking awesome. I'm just saying... Do you love him? There's only... There's only maybe a couple movie stars that have only ever made hits. It's Tom Cruise and then zero other people. But...

So to say he's only made big is... Okay, sure. Yeah, you can't say he doesn't make flops. It's Donald Sutherland, Tom Cruise. It's Donner. It's Donald. It's Donatello. It's Donner and Blitzen and Cupid and Vixen. It's the era, Sid. You're a stupid dumbass.

I might have to go on a Jackie Chan kick because like Drunken Master, half a level of Kung Fu I haven't seen in like 20 years. Have you ever seen Operation Condor? You've been saying that for me. What is Operation Condor? I fucking love it. He rocks these fucking funny ass koala underwear for a scene. And it is just hilarious because the dude is funny too, man. Jackie Chan is charming.

Agile and funny as fuck, dude. Police Story? Have you guys ever seen that? Police Story is crazy. I've never seen that, no. It's fucking sick. It says here he was in Cannonball Run 2. Have you seen Operation Condor, though? Yeah, I saw it. I like it. Moving on. That is the title, right? I know you're looking at his shit. It is Operation Condor, right? It's not Operation Dumbo Drop? No.

Hey, I take it back. The guy makes nothing but hits. Okay. I take it back what I said because I just looked at his IMDb. The movie that I was shitting on was a movie that came out in 2015 called Dragon Blade. Oh. I watched the trailer. It looked like it was a big budget movie that obviously flopped because I had never heard of it. It's starring Jackie Chan, John Cusack, and Adrian Brody. It made...

$122 million worldwide. These are all for international releases. They get a few American movie stars and then they release it here and we don't watch it because we're super racist. So guess what? I took it back.

Yeah. All right. Great. Check it back. Yo, that's awesome. It's like, what's that one with Matt Damon fighting dragons on the Great Wall or whatever? We didn't see that. I think it's called The Great Wall. But over there, I bet it made a billion a number. I thought he kind of got busted for that movie because he was like, I don't know. Last Samurai style? Yeah, like white savior. Sure. I think that was a tick for tack sort of thing that he did that. Tit for tat. Yeah, tit for tat.

Tit for tat. Kind of thing that he did that movie. And then the production company financed like his next Matt Damon's next three movies. Yeah. Which were all the Bourne identities or? No, no, no. Those were all before that. We're getting a zoo. It was we're getting a zoo. He really wanted to get a zoo. Oh, that movie's dope. Honey, we bought a zoo or whatever it is. Honey, we bought a zoo and downsizing. Those were his big platforms. Honey, we got a zoo to downsize. Oh, my.

Yo, downsizing? The first 45 minutes of downsizing, I loved. And then it just got very weird. And she was like, let me rub your feet. And I was like, what is happening? Yeah. I just wanted the fun of the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids element. Right. I just wanted that. The fun shit of the novelty of everything being gigantic. That's awesome. Honey, I Shrunk the Zoo. I love those movies. I love.

shrinking movies. But then there was like a whole political bend to it that I'm like, alright, yeah, but can we just see some giant shit though? That's what I'm here for. Can I see a big cat or a big rat or a big cockroach? Something big. An ant? I want the dragonflies. That they ride or something like that. They feed them an Oreo. If we could just watch Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. That's a good one to watch while on LSD. Dude, it holds up.

My kids love that movie. Are they on LSD? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It does hold up. I watched that one not too long ago. Your kids are on LSD? Yes. Get over it. Oh, my God, bro. Oh, my God. Rush Hour 2. Oh, Rush Hour. Rush Hour 2. Great flicks. Rush Hour 3. Is Rush Hour 3 the one with the giant dude? That shit's so funny. I don't know. Which one of y'all kick me is the funniest line in movie history ever?

Which one of y'all kicked me? So good. So good. And the delivery is just perfect. He's pointing two ways. He's crossing his arms.

Which one of y'all kicked me? Oh my God. What a gift. That's in the trailer, right? Chris Tucker, for sure. Unreal. Which one of y'all kicked me? Chris Tucker in Fifth Element. I remember being like, this is a little much for me, but now watching it, I'm like, I love this. Chris Tucker. When you say that line, hella chill, it's even better when you're just like, which one of y'all kicked me?

I'm going to start using that in my everyday. We got to dust that one off. Next time I'm on a subway train or something crowded on the way to the airport or something, I'm just going to say, which one of y'all kicked me? Just see what happens. Just see if I get the nod. Which one of y'all kicked me? We know which one.

I don't. I'll admit I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I wish I was part of the team. Really? In Rush Hour when they like... I never saw Rush Hour. Whoa. Yeah. It's pretty fucking awesome. I bet. I bet. I don't know why. That's just...

It's a blank spot that I never saw. But they go in a room. There's a bunch of dudes there. All of a sudden, a foot comes out of nowhere and kicks. Kicks him right in the face. Chris Tucker in the face. His head goes back. He comes back looking like, what the fuck? And he just goes, which one of y'all kicked me?

It's the fucking best. Yeah. Can you picture that, Adam? Can you picture that? Yeah, it seems like... In a movie, though. This is in a movie. Yeah, I feel like in the movie it would be really funny, just you guys acting it out a bunch. It's not as funny, but... Dude, you don't understand. The course of history was changed after this movie.

Everything. Everything was different. It was like 9-11. It was a before and after type situation. Which one of y'all kicked me was the 9-11 movie moments? Changed everything. For me, it was the 9-11 of 9-11s. For me, personally. What does that mean? What the heck? What the heck? Shut the fuck up!

That's my personal opinion. Yeah, I guess I have to see the movie, I think. You do. You do. There's a lot of heaters and great soundtrack. I respect it. Well, Chloe's gone. Chloe, I'm alone here in Charleston for like the next month, which I'm like a little worried about because every time she – She was like, he's a drug addict. I'm out of here. I'm leaving you.

That's Adam's nice way of saying Chloe left him. She left. He hasn't quite come to terms in his mind yet. It's like a month. I think she'll be back in a month or something. She didn't say. She's come back. You know how girls bring all their luggage of clothes with them? Gotta look nice. She said, this is a scary Sunday and ditch. Scary Sunday. She's like, this is a Sunday scary.

No, she booked an ABC pilot. So she's in LA doing that. Oh, yeah. That's good. That's tight. Give me a hell yeah. That's awesome, dude. That's good. I love the American broadcast company. Yeah, it's way good stuff. But I am worried because it does seem like every time I'm alone in my house, I get into trouble. Like I almost...

I'll leave the stove on for days like I did in my other house, and I feel... I'm a little worried. When you did that... Hey, when you left the stove on, was the flame actually going when you had it on, or was it just gas leaking out? It was just gas leaking. It was like the lowest amount you possibly... So you really had to get down to...

look to notice that it was on. My dad listened to that podcast and he's like, if his flame was on, he has nothing to worry about. He didn't almost die. I was like, okay. No, the flame wasn't on. Tell your dad to just relax. Hey, dad was debunking your fucking almost death.

I mean, I hope I wasn't almost near death. By the way, nothing to worry about? Yeah, let's all just have an open flame in our house and have nothing to worry about. You have something to worry about. You have an open flame. What if a moth flies into it and lights on fire? Thank you. That's the butterfly effect. He was just saying from a builder's perspective, from a construction standpoint and all that, it's like if a flame was on, which I think you said it was,

You were all good. It was just burning the gas off. You weren't going to explode. So that's good to know. You can, you know, hey, a little wisdom. Yeah, so if you want to save some money on like heating, just light all your stove fires and just keep them running 24-7. Oh, no, that's going to cost a fucking arm and a leg if you just burn it. Adam, you said you smelled the gas, correct? I did smell the gas. Yeah, so like something was up.

Yeah. I smelled something. We're going to have to go back and check the tapes. I'll listen to my father and we'll get to the bottom of this. But Adam, if I could make a suggestion, just stay away from LSD, stay away from the stove and just sit down and marathon some Jackie Chan rush hour. I think that, yeah, I think that's where my head was at. I was like, well, maybe I spent some time. I brought all these edibles here with me. I might as well munch on a few of them. That's right. And how did you pack those? How did you get those there? Thank you for asking. Um,

I just put him in my... By the way, McBride saw all of my edibles and he was like, how the fuck did you get all these here? And I was like, I just put them in my luggage. He goes, you're a fucking psychopath, dude. Well, let's expound on that. Like, zippers, there are... Do you have like one of those little rainbow tassels so you know it's your luggage? Samsonite? I don't. No. No, it's to me. It's quality shit. Oh, damn. Yeah, but...

Yeah, he thought I was a fucking lunatic. Your advice was just to throw it in my backpack. I agree. That's crazy.

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You know why Ders is mad about luggage is because this bro used to have the roller bag and take it to school. He wasn't a backpack kid. He was a roller bag, dude. I can sense it. Get up. Yeah.

Wait, weren't you a roller bag kid? So this is how crazy this, how old I am. There's just before there's no roller bags, homie. I don't know what you're talking about, Blake. You don't remember the kids that would take the roller bag to school. I think what Blake is trying to do, he's trying to paint the picture of Ders as he's that type of kid. But admittedly, roller bags came after much after Ders finished high school.

Finish college. End college. I remember seeing roller bags and being like, how is this a thing? Kids can't just carry bags? What's next? Flying cars? Donald Sutherland is the greatest actor of my generation. Okay, Derns, where you at? Hey, leave him alone. I don't give a fuck. Come at me. Okay. All right. Fuck you. Can I make another assumption? If roller bags weren't invented yet while you were in school...

Were you at least a kid who didn't rock a backpack, but have one big binder? Were you just like that? I have a binder kid and that's it. What? I don't know. No, I wasn't that kid either. I had a backpack and here's what I remember.

Messenger bags became very popular. That was a little trend. And I was tempted, didn't dip into it. A lot of other kids would do a backpack strap over the shoulder messenger bag style. Also very tempting. But I held strong. And I would rock it high up.

Everyone else would rock it super low hanging off. That's a super telling thing. The way you wore your backpack, how low did the straps go? I could see Blake wearing it below his asshole. It definitely hurt his back. It was way uncomfortable. Super low. I had a homie who wore it in the front.

That was his whole fucking stage. That was kind of a girl move at my school. Yeah, I dug that, though. That was cool. If you were getting something out, you could kind of go through your index and like, you know, it's right there in front of you. You can pull out a piece of paper, hand it. I feel like back in those, like the low strap was a thing. Like you rocked your backpack hella low strap. And then if you were playing like a guitar or bass, you rocked that very low as well. Straps were hanging very low in the 90s. The 90s? You're saying in the 90s? Yeah.

No bullshit. I've been on eBay the last like month looking for the backpack I had in high school and I can't fucking find it. Um, what did I rocked with a yellow Jan sport represent? Yeah. I had a bunch of Jan sports with the leather bottom. What was it? Ders first generation new balance. Uh, it was an Eagle Creek. I was rocking the new balances, but it was an Eagle Creek red backpack with like the

the flap on the top and the drawstring type shit. I don't know what you call that, like a top loader. Yeah, this is way, I feel like there was only two types of backpacks in the suburban neighborhood of Millard, Nebraska. It was just Jansport and like Eastman or Eastpacker.

or something like that. Yeah, East Pack? Yeah. You know what the big flex was? Do you remember? Like, it was, if you got a Jansport, did you have the suede bottom? Remember? Like, some Jansports had the brown suede bottom, and that was a flex. Well, it was leather. It wasn't suede. Was it leather? Pure leather? It was leather. Right. Well, yeah, suede would just get, on the bottom of your backpack, it'd get fucked up immediately. I don't know.

No, but it's extra durable. It was just leather. It was leather. Okay. My bad. I guess the shoes were suede. The airwalks were suede. The backpacks were leather. Don't come at me with not knowing your leathers. Okay? I'm sorry. Know your leathers around me. I'm sorry. All right. The North Face backpack was the big flex because those were like $75 or $80 or something.

I'm crazy. Oh, I don't even know if that was on my map. Yeah, it was like Jansport. It was Jansport or bus, dude. Yeah. It was like, or you got the cheaper one. Yeah, Kmart was wall to wall with Jansport. You could get black, you could get green, you could get red. I will say that when I first started to see kids with the roller bags...

I was like, nerds. Like I would. Yeah, for sure. Like for sure. At my school, you're getting punked. I don't know if you would get full on your ass kicked, but you're definitely getting punked. Beat his ass. I feel like if you're rolling a bag around, somebody's going to kick that fucking bag. Yeah, they're kicking the bag for sure. For sure. And you got to go up and down stairs. I don't understand. How?

I don't understand. Well, then you can put the thing down and grab it by the handle. Just like, I know, but that's like, that's like you're going through the airport. It's a fucking nightmare. I mean, all you need is a belt to go around your books and you just carry that. That's the sickest dude. That is the sickest. Yeah.

You know, there's some dude in Brooklyn is running around like that for sure. Absolutely. Are these roller bags that you're talking about? I don't have a frame of reference. It's a backpack with the roller bags. It was like at the airport. Like a suitcase. The airport is called a roller bag. It has two wheels at the bottom. It has the handle that goes...

People fucking... Yes, children across America definitely did that 10 years or so ago. No frame of reference. Nothing. Kyle, you don't even acknowledge the suitcase I'm talking about? Like a roller bag? I don't know what you're talking about. Kyle, a roller bag. Like a carry-on suitcase. No, that's what I'm saying. I understand the carry-on suitcase. I just don't have a frame of reference of people taking that shit to school. Mr. Dorsey had a motherfucking one, allegedly.

He's a teacher. He's a fucking teacher, though. Goodbye. Well, there were many Dorseys. Okay. Click on the link. Anna just sent you something. Here they are. The roller backpacks. Roller backpacks. Here we go. I hope this fucking... It's not that hard to figure out. You know it. Yes. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I love this print. The computer forward... I'm not going to say nerds, but like...

the homies that were already like rocking laptops at school had roller bags. Wait, you guys had friends that had laptops at school? No, we didn't. This is, this is a false, Blake's making shit up. I remember a kid bringing one to school, huge flex, but at the same time, there were laptops. What the fuck are,

he's talking about? I feel like you maybe stayed in high school longer than me or something, dude. Well, it's possible I was held back for math. Yeah, dude, there were not laptops at my high school. I specifically remember the kid. His name was Robbie. He had a laptop. He had a roller bag. I don't remember his last name. It was Robbie Laptop Roller Bag, bro.

Dude, this might be a made-up story from your acid trip. Roller bag Robbie. I feel like you're making this up. Like you're getting it confused with college or something. College. Because this is not occurring. I don't know why you think it's so out of the realm of possibility that a homie in high school had a roller bag and a laptop. It's the acid. It wasn't. The only bags that were rolling were fucking bowling bags, bro. That was it. All right.

Blake, I think you're thinking of college. I mean, we all went to college and dude, we got Dells. It's science. And we still thought we were in high school when we were in college, so that's fair. I got a gateway computer. Do you remember that shit? Oh, shit. With like the gateway country with the cow? With the cow, yeah. The cow box. That's a sick computer. Dude, that computer fried after like three months. I think I got like three of them before I was like, can I just have my money back? Yeah.

For real. Well, Anna is saying, our producer Anna is saying that these roller backpacks, they were for kids with back problems because books were getting too heavy. No. I don't buy it. Who the fuck are these kids? Well, that was my question. Well, for sure, books were crazy heavy, but that's why you had them.

Locker, kids. Drop off some of these books. Carry the one or two books you need and then go back to your locker. No. Only dorks use lockers. I don't buy it because people hike around with giant fucking bags with like the waist straps and shit. And like you just strap it tight and you're fine. If anything, you're getting stronger. It's bullshit. And that's why the youth of America is so fucking rich.

weak nowadays because they weren't strapping it tight like we were. Blake, since you remember these bags, could you put these bags on your shoulders as well? Or were they strictly rollers? No. Yes, yes. Yes, you could. Look at the picture. See, Blake has no fucking clue what he's talking about. She just sent it to us. We're all looking at it. Everyone at home is freaking out. Blake, you're making up stories. There was no... You have Mandela affected yourself into high school for two decades. There was no roller bag, Robbie. Don't do

He did it! So I made up this guy, I made up this kid, Rolling Bag Robbie, with the laptop. He's like, hey, dude, you know what I think it is? I think this is from... When you did acid. Your acid trip. And it sort of, like, melted that part of your brain, and... Is this my weird, like, fight club where Kyle would watch me go into, like, computer lab, and then I'd be like, I wasn't there. No, I was with you guys. I was smoking cigarettes at school. No, you never smoked cigarettes with us. You never did that. I did. I did.

I smoked Capri's, dude. You remember that? Yeah, I do remember. That's the only that's the only smoke. It was a tiny little Capri's, which was sick as fuck. Dude, I wanted to be friends with my homies so bad because they all smoke cigarettes that I was like, OK, I'll smoke. I'll smoke Capri's. You know how you also stayed away from it, too, is you were like, I only smoke Capri's. And then you were like, I only smoke with my feet.

And it was like, what the fuck? What's going on? And I have shoes on right now, so I guess I can't, bro. But then he would do it every once in a while. He would put a cigarette in between his toes and light it up and smoke. And it was so funny that it was like, hell yeah, dude. This guy's great. Did I do this?

If he's going to smoke, it's going to be a ha-ha. You know what else I did? I got one of those long-ass, from the Halloween store, those long cigarette holders. Oh, like a Cruella de Vil filter. Yeah, that's tight. I just wanted to be friends. And you're asking if I had the roller bag? You fucking don't.

If you want to kick off, take backs and apologies and take back, uh, smoking my Cruella DeVille. No, that shit was sick. Uh, well, I will take back, uh, saying that Jackie Chan has made a, that has made any kind of flop because I went back and looked and the guy's just the, the biggest movie star, uh,

of all time. So truly, truly big, big shout out to Jackie Chan and all of his work. Rumble in the Bronx. Awesome. Got it. Got a wall. Adam is so trying to get into a Jackie Chan movie right now. You guys would work so well together. I just love Jackie Chan. I don't know. Eric Andre is here shooting righteous gemstones and he has a pitch for a movie for me. He was like, dude, you got to make a movie called cousins and,

Or you guys are like brothers with a different mom or something. Well, don't give away his movie on the podcast. You're going to pitch his movie idea? But it's for me. I know. He gave it to me. So I'm going to pitch it to you guys. Okay. And to the world. Fair enough. I'm still going to send it. Yeah. Into the world, Kyle. This is what the podcast is for, to put things into the world. Is it registered with the writer's guild? I have boundaries. I have boundaries. I have boundaries.

I have none. Yeah, I know. I love you for that. It's me. It's Jordan Peele. And it's the little kid from Stranger Things. And we are cousins or brothers. The little one that kind of looks like me. Gotcha. The one with the prank show? The one with no teeth. And then our dad, we find out, is Jackie Chan.

Do you see it? You see that in the eyes? That sounds like a cool Eric Andre. And Jack Black is like our older brother or something. I'm going to slowly back away from this. Dude, I'm saying it's a hit. All I'm saying is if Jackie Chan's in it, it's a fucking hit. I definitely think you and Jordan Peele should play brothers because when he was on Workaholics and you guys were next to each other, I was like...

these dudes look the same and your your uh mannerisms were similar it was fucking creepy gosh jordan peele so we got beady little mannerisms like i think that you are his like from they uh you're his other one from underneath eating rabbits and stuff yeah i see that i see that for me is that what it's called they no us us us

Them? It's science. It's all us. Us. We. They. I love how you think they is a worse title than us. You're so insane. You called it they, motherfucker? It's just a different... They live, motherfucker. Yeah, they live. Okay. So now you're just naming movies and calling me a motherfucker. Oh, for fuck's sake!

Okay, Anders, do you have anything to apologize for? Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't have a roller bag in high school. Well, also, that whole thing was kind of out of left field because Blake isn't usually one to just shit on someone from a distance. It's weird. I wasn't shitting. I wasn't shitting. I was assuming. I'll apologize. Excuse me. I bet you were one of those nerds.

nerd with a roller bag. And I'm just like letting it wash over me. Burning others feels good. Where are you going with this? You're projecting, homie. You're the dude who's smoking with his feet, player. I was roller robbing. Yeah, you...

Finally, your acid haze is cleared and you realize that you were always Roller Robbie. I feel like Blake got put into a roller bag by somebody. You weren't even in high school then. Kyle was my friend by default. I was

Kyle was the guy who saw me as the person who had no friends. And he's like, I'll be his friend just because I'm afraid. Kyle's your Tyler Durden. Yeah, dude. Kyle wasn't even there. Smoke this cigarette. Come on, man. Okay, well, hey, I will apologize to Anders for assuming he was a roller bag guy. I don't know what got into me. I don't care. Hey, assume away. It's okay. He's a

Yeah, it only works if you accept it. It's not about you. If you feel. No, it doesn't. I guess you don't have to accept it. I guess that's true. Yeah. You don't have to. I don't like it. Okay, so you don't care that he called you that. No, sir, I don't like it. No, because it doesn't matter. Yeah, but it's not about you accepting or not accepting. It's about him apologizing. All right. Adam, is that how apologies work for you? For the person who says it and not the person that's supposed to receive it? I'm so low.

All right. Well, I learned differently in therapy. Now, and did Chloe leave any of her clothes there? Yeah, it might be time for some couples therapy. Pupos. Sunday skate.

That's what Adam calls couples therapy on Sunday. Sunday scary. I had to go to Sunday scaries the other day. Oh, man. I had to go to Sunday scaries again. I can't remember exactly what it was, but I'll apologize for saying shut the fuck up earlier or something to that effect. I felt it just got away from me. It came out of my mouth like in Kill Bill where the little girl under the bed goes...

And then she shoves the words back into her mouth in the anime segment. I felt like that, and I'm sorry. Shut the fuck up! Yeah, I feel like we were talking over you quite a bit. And I know that you don't like that, and I think that's what that was from. Well, I just know how hard our editors have to work to kind of splice this apart. Absolutely. Todd's a good guy. I appreciate him. He's in a great band. Big shout out to Todd. Yeah, man. Yes. I guess I'll apologize to Blake for going in

on his memory of high school, something that I, my memory is not incredibly clear. And I bet you, like after we get off this podcast, I'll think about the roller bags and, and find a memory. Um, if it is indeed true, by the way, they weren't really when we were in high school. No, if it is indeed true, which I still believe that he's, it was after, it was after Blake is making things up. There were some trendsetters. Now,

Here's what he's trying to do. He's trying to age himself down. He's going like, remember in high school when... Well, that's what I think too. I agree. How lit it was. Do you guys remember when... It was so litty and we were all swagged out. Yeah, like last year in high school. It's like, bro, you can't do that anymore. Remember when Playboy Cardi dropped? That was so sick. In high school? That hit the lunchroom on flame. Yeah, do you guys remember just jamming out to Little Pump in high school?

It was so litty. Oh, man. He's trying to age himself down. I see you, Blake. My TikTok was so cool. In 2002, huh? Yep. Yep.

Yeah, it was awesome. Blake, can I give you a compliment? I want to compliment you on just fucking stirring it up, man. I guess some shit's probably going down in your life that you need to lash out. Isn't that how it always is? And that's, you know, we'll get into that off the pod. Well, why don't you cry about it? Blake really rocked the boat. He really rocked the boat today. A lot of times he sets us up like, dude, should I rock the boat? And then he says some like really basic regular shit. I'm like, that didn't rock the boat. He didn't say it this time, but boy, did it rock. Well, thanks, guys. Just, just, just.

shitting on dirt from a distance. It rocked alright. Just sniper rifling dirt. What is your hat by the way? I'm trying to is it like what is that? It's more Grateful Dead swag. I've really gone all in. So you don't know if you're in high school or if you're 100 years old. Name four Grateful Dead songs go.

Go. Go. I can't. I didn't think so. Take that fucking hat off. Go. Four. No, let's do this. Let's end with this. Let's end. Go for it. Go, dude. Go, dude. You're a fucking poser. Four Grateful Dead songs, Blake. Four. Four Grateful Dead songs. Because I backed you last time on this and said you had the knowledge. Oh, he's looking it up. No, I'm not. Hands free. Okay, hands up. Hands free. Hands up. Four. Four. Four.

Sugar Magnolia. Sugar Magnolia. Very good. Okay. Sure. If you want to name four albums, I'll give you that. Keep trucking. Keep trucking. That's two. Okay. Two, two, two, two. Damn. This is like Casey Jones. Very good. That's three. Okay. Is that what it's called? Is that what the song is called? Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's called Casey Jones. I don't care. Honestly, if you can even hum four songs. Hey, you just say two other words together.

And we'll think that it's correct. Bro, come on. One more. I got one more. What's the one? Grateful Dead goes to heaven. Uh-huh.

Well, you love the band. You're wearing the merch. What about the one, I'm grateful I'm dead? Still the face right off your head. Grateful, okay. Terrapin Station is an album. Keep the hat on. Uncle John's band. I've got Yolk on my face, I tell you. Kyle, what did you have? The only one, the other one I had was Uncle John's band. Okay, there we go. Come down.

Uncle John's band. Well, it doesn't count. You didn't say it. I mean, we all know that there are four songs. Well, there's a lot of songs. Yeah, obviously. Jerry Garcia, rest in peace. Obviously, this was another episode of... This is Jerry Garcia. Jerry said Jerry Garcia. That's sick. Yummy. Starbucks iced apple crisp oat milk shake and espresso.

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