Ep 52: LIVE From The Lake Of The Brozarks It’s Friday Morning!
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Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about... I'm a little disappointed at how few dicks I've seen. Same vagina forever. You got a botched circumcision? Is it time to ride the bull? No.

Here we go. Start your engines. Rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang, rang.

That's the best one yet. We're here. We're queer. We want to drink beer. Where is the beer? Where is the beer? It's probably here. Guys, this is huge. This is it. This is the moment we've all been dreading and waiting for at the same time. We're in the Brozarks. Lake of the Brozarks, Missouri. Uh...

Durs, why aren't you wearing your sunglasses, dude? We're all wearing them. Yeah, where they at? I thought we were doing it in solidarity. I had my headphones on and it squeezes the side of my head. Just give me a little bit of a headache. Yeah, we all got matching Oakleys thanks to my buddy Atiba Jefferson, our collective buddy. And he got us all...

Oakley's for the Brozarks. And the thing about Oakley's is they're great. Yeah, they're awesome. You look cool. You look great. They're not a sponsor of the podcast, but we would love them to be. Adam, you look great. Fantastic. Thank you. Blake, you look fantastic. Are they still making the ones that go over the top of your head?

Oh, from the last episode? I think they tried to bring them back. Didn't we have those in the last episode of Workaholics? We did. I still have the pair. I still, I have that pair. Did Raymond wear them or did you wear them? The ones that wrap up like this, right? Yeah, right over the top of your head. Yeah, two over the top. So tight. And there's no nose bridge on those, right? It's like two separate. Yeah, no, they're like just kind of like on your eyes. It's fucking cool, dude. It's future shit. Should we show off our cool t-shirts? Oh,

Oh yeah, hell yeah. Hey, we did it. Divine's among angels. I love that. I don't know where they got this photo of me, but it's pretty fucking great. And show off your shirt. Yeah. Ya dickhead. Ya dickhead.

Dickhead's getting married. This dickhead. And if you're listening and you're not watching, it says this dickhead is getting married. And then it's got like a giant hairy bald cock and shaft or like balls and shafts. Just a shaft and a ball. And then my head is the head. I do kind of look, my actual head does sort of resemble like a head of a cock. Yeah, I didn't even realize until now. Until right now, it really makes a lot of sense. Where you can kind of actually see it in real life.

So it is, the guys got in late last night. They got in about 10 o'clock, not that late. And then we drank until about 3 a.m. Yeah, baby. Mountain Dew, baby. Kyle drank Mountain Dew. Yeah. I'm the wild guy. I probably got drunker than Mountain Dew than you guys. Yeah, I was. I was. And then we've had people puke already. Yeah, me. Blake is our resident puker already. And then we also had a friend, not going to name names, but...

- Pissed on his bed. - Yeah, and he didn't piss the bed. - No, different. - He woke up from his slumber, turned around and peed onto his bed. - Did you witness it?

No, but he came out very proud of what he did. Yeah. Wow, really? Yeah. Wait, so when was this? The morning? Is this in the morning? He woke up trying to find the bathroom, like walked in a circle in his own room, had the spins or whatever, and just couldn't figure it out and just stood up, peed on his bed. Wait, so he was drunk enough to fucking pee on his own bed, make that choice, but also very proud of it in the same moment? He said when it was happening, he was like, oh man, this isn't right. Right. Yeah.

But he couldn't stop. Okay. Okay. Right. Like he was looking for the bathroom. And then when it started happening, he was like,

Is that right? Weird, wild stuff. Can't do laundry later. Yeah. He's probably doing laundry right now, I bet you. I mean, to be fair, though. Yeah, I haven't seen him. He's not here. I think he's doing some work, actually. Yeah, that's what's weird is we all came out really hot day one, and everybody kind of has stuff to do today, like actual work, because it is the week, middle of the week. Yeah, but it's not weird. I feel like that's very much on brand for us and our friends to come out way, way too hot night one. Yeah.

We burn bright, and then you limp into the rest of the weekend. I will say, like, okay, I was definitely on struggle mode this morning. It was almost a bit of a disaster, right, Adam? Because, like, the elements were against us. We were all coming from different cities. The airports were in shambles. I was coming in hot. What happened to the airports? Tell me. Lots of delays. Lots of delays. It was basically Kabul. Kabul.

Right? It was in shambles. It was total mayhem. Fully charged morning. Here we go. Dude, I'm charged up right now. This is it. I got my Oakleys on. I'm charged. Yeah, multiple people got delayed. Yeah, it was basically the crisis in Afghanistan. Yeah, it's almost exactly like the crisis in Afghanistan. Is that what you're saying?

I mean, I would. You're saying it's shambles? I feel like one person got delayed by 20 minutes. That was insane. You said it, though. You said it. Yeah, but that's what he's saying. I can speak Blake. When you say shambles, we all know what you mean. So shambles. You can tell what I'm thinking through these Oakleys. Yeah, dude. I'm wearing the Oakleys, too. I have Oakley power right now. Honestly, I can't do sunglasses inside.

Can't do it. Is it fucking with you? Yeah. I've never been able to be like, well, to be fair, I'm not that guy, pal. Hey, hit him. I'm trying, man. Find it. You're not that guy, pal. Trust me. Did you do it? Yeah. I don't got my headphones on. It's slightly delayed. Don't worry about it. Uh, yeah. So people got in late. Uh,

And then it was a dead sprint. Then it was shots. We were on the dock, living a lake lifestyle. People were up early jet skiing. Oh, dude, I've already been out on a... I feel like the sober crew got up early. Yeah. There's, what, two or three people that are sober? I don't know. Austin, myself. Bro, I already hit the fucking jet ski for like an hour, homie. And I got like 12 feet of air out there, and you guys didn't. You got 12 feet of air? At once, or like from...

10 different things. - No, one wave, bro. Sometimes I get six feet, sometimes I get nine feet, and one time I got 12 fucking feet of air off a wake. - Whoa, dude. - I feel like I've-- - First time on a jet ski too. - That is crazy, 'cause I feel like I've-- - But I'm a natural. - Ridden jet skis my whole life, and I've never even seen anyone get 12 feet. - Oh, bro, I was clearing shit.

What were you clearing? I was clearing like other jet skis and stuff. Yes, points! What? Y'all missed it. You should hang out with the sober crew. That's really dangerous, dude. No, it was sick. I mean, it's not that easy. It's crazy dangerous. It was so sick. I do feel like that was my alarm clock was you. I heard the jet ski going. Yeah. I don't remember hearing you get 12. No, it was on the other side of the island. It was on the other side of that island over there. Nobody saw it. It was a bummer, but I did. Yeah.

Yeah, it was tight. That's cool. So we have a big day ahead of us. We got a lot of drinking left to do. Is there an agenda? We got a lot of drinking to do. We've got two kegs. And then we have dinner tonight. Tonight is the dinner. What kind of dinner and where? What are we fondue? Michael's Steak Chalet. Oh my God. He pulled that one out, dog.

Michael's Steak Chalet. We have our own little house next door, so we don't have to deal with the riffraff. Oh, beautiful. The Delta variant. We don't have to deal with it. We're in our own little hut. They call it the Wine House. And we're going to have our own private bartender. And then we're going to get even more drunk there, I'm assuming. It's kind of a hut. Sometimes they make pizza. Yeah.

Are we going to Pizza Hut? That'd be sick. I can't remember what it's called, but it's this hut-shaped building, and there's a pizza red roof oven. We're back. Popo Sal! Yeah. Popo Sal. Wow, it really does feel good. Hey, this is like the first time we've ever done a podcast since like the first...

Oh, yeah. In the same room. This is the first one we've ever done together. I think it's second. I think the first one we did together. Well, let's go. Well, the very first podcast, we did do it together. Right. That was tight. Magic. We were just firing on all. I told a story about Pinocchio. I just watched it. Oh, yeah. We were just kids. Yeah. Wow.

we were young in the podcast game now we're saged old vets slower slower pace notice the pace click up one click up this one we've gotten a lot slower it's nice yeah well we're not afraid to we're not speeding through it anymore no it's cool we feel cozy yeah we're in our fire right exactly we're in the pocket we're in our lane we know what we're doing and now we all have matching sunglasses and shirts

Kyle's lit up. He looks like, I mean, he looks like a professional wrestler right now. What do you mean I don't look like Bret Hart?

You have. You look like Jimmy Hart. We got to post that picture real quick at Comic-Con. You met Jimmy Hart. You look like Andrew WK. Yes, I got Jimmy Hart's autograph. And we got a picture of you guys together, and it's crazy. Why? Because they look exactly the same. They're the exact same except Jimmy Hart's like 5'8". I got to hold his megaphone or something. I was like, hell yeah. How much did you have to pay for that? Because I know at Comic-Con when you go get those pictures with the celebs, they be charging you.

Oh, dude, I paid. Especially wrestlers. I paid like, I think it was $100, and I got Hogan and Jimmy Hart. I paid for them. $100 for a picture? $100 for two pictures. That's good. Plus my own. That's a deal. You think that's a deal? That's a good deal.

Well, what's wrong with that? Or a Hulk Hogan? Yeah. You could find him on the street in Tampa Bay and be like, let me get a selfie. But then you gotta go and you gotta spend money to travel to Tampa Bay. Yeah, that's a $700 flight, bro. I'm trying to get direct. I'm trying to move. What was his show called? The Thunder One? Thunder in Paradise? Oh, yeah. Was that good? It was like a boating show, wasn't it? Yeah, it was just like, and this boat here is a 75-foot catamaran. Yeah, he was like, wasn't he like a...

like a bounty hunter or something and we'd just take the boat place to place and catch bad guys. I mean, you're pitching a really good show. And if it wasn't that, that's our spin-off show that I feel like we make that show. Yeah, but we could do it on jet skis. And it's based here in Lake of the Brozards. I'm so all about jet skis, by the way. Like, that shit was so fucking sick. That was the first time you... On a Wave Runner, yeah, since I was like probably like 11 or 12, I think was the last time I did that shit. So not the first time then? No.

No, and full disclosure, not 12 feet of air. What? I'm sorry. I was pulling your chain. What? Yeah, yeah. I'm reeling over here. Hold on. Yeah. No, not 12 feet. 15, dog. When Adam goes, was that your first time on jet ski? Really? You go, on a WaveRunner? Yes. Well, because we're talking about... Not since I was 12. Why did you discern WaveRunner? Well, I have trouble...

I know I did jet skis where they... You know how you could stand up and hold them up? Yeah, the old school ones. I did that shit and you could sit down on those as well. So you could ride those kind of like wave runners. Where do you sit? On the back of it, like where you stand. I feel like I did that when I was like 11 or 12. I don't think there's a seat on those. When you fold it down... When you fold it down...

You've been lying to us this whole podcast, Kyle. What's the deal, dude? First, you come in. You say you caught 12 feet of air. We kind of let it 15. And we kind of let it slide. Then I ask you if you've ever ridden a jet ski before. You said no, never. And then you go, not since I was 12. I haven't, not since I was 12. What? I'm confused a little bit. Oh!

I'm pissed now. I'm still reeling from the fun. You guys are all waking up in a different spot. We're all reeling. I'm coffeed up. I'm jet skied up. I'm fucking out there. Hey, I'm drinking a liquid IV. I'll be fine in about one minute. There's my guy. I would smash a liquid IV right now. Oh, last night I did a pretty cool move where I poured the liquid IV in my Bud Light and...

My butt. And did that work? Yeah, it did me all right. It foamed up a little bit. It overflowed like a science experiment from a child's like... And you were the one that vomited though. Yeah, like right before we recorded. Yeah, like merely minutes ago, I vomited. Okay. Yeah, I've already thrown up twice. I just gave you... You did? You threw up two times? It's got vitamins in it. Oh my God. So you can do that one or the hydration one. I think I want to hydrate, right?

Okay. You also want vitamins. There's water in all of them. What? I'm just saying. Wait, are you going to pour it into liquid or are you going to just douche it into your mouth? Wow. You can't do that. Didn't you ever have? I think I'm just going to put it in your mouth. You can't drink powder. You can't drink powder. This is Brozarks exclusive. This is fucking Fun Dip shit, man. You can't do this.

My god, you're gonna get canker sores right higher mouth. Okay open up don't breathe Open your mouth like this We should all do it that ruled

I would love to. You guys are going to love that. This is called the Liquid IV Challenge. Might as well. When I get in that hut, I'm doing it for sure. Yeah, the pizza hut? Oh, bro, they have pizza there? Pizza, pizza. It's a steak chalet. I don't want you guys... Oh, that's right. It's whose steak? Stephen's? Michael's. Oh, Michael's. Is this a renowned place on the Zarks? It's Michael's Steak Chalet. It's right on the water.

It's glorious. You guys are going to love it. Private Hut. And are they known to have pretty good steaks? Or is it like, I don't know anything about how the Ozarks works. How food works. Yeah, how food works. I don't know how food works. Well, food's basically the same here as anywhere else. Yeah. And we're in the Midwest. The steaks are good. We got some good barbecue on the way here right by the Kansas City airport where we flew in. We went to Scott's. Shout out to Scott's. Shout out to Scott's. So good. From Scott's to Michael's. Here we go. Some burnt ends. Some Casey burnt ends. You got the burnt ends? Yeah.

Oh, damn. That's how I say hells yeah a lot now. What did they have? That's a new thing since coming to the Brozarts? Since now. They had a burnt end burrito there. Nobody got it, but that was like a trippy fucking thing on their menu. Why does that sound really gross to me? Because it's a fucking burrito and steak. It's like, I don't get that. What do you mean? Whoa, whoa. Just leave me alone. Taking a burrito, you don't get it? You don't get that? Leave me alone. Don't.

This is what the podcast is. You say shit and we pile on. I'm just looking at myself thinking about how I look like my heart. Now we're in the same room. You can't avoid it. Yeah, you can't avoid it. There's nowhere to go, dude. I'm looking at myself right now. Yeah, what else is new? This guy's an egomaniac. No, I get it. I get it. I realize there was a slip of the tongue. It was a slip of the tongue. It was my bad. I understand. I'm hungry. We have had no breakfast. You're alive.

I fucking went out on jet ski. Dude, I like that you're saying jet ski as if you worked out this morning. I did. I was standing the whole time. Oh, do you stand on it, bro? Because I was standing the whole time. Yeah, I stand on it. His thighs are rocked. I rode jet ski for hours. I stood the whole day. The whole time.

Kyle's going to bed. I was also up. I went to bed at four and I woke up about 6.30, 7 o'clock, bro. That's rough. Yeah. So you're on like two hours of sleep. Bro, yes. And coffee. Dude, I'm not lying because you've done nothing but lie this whole podcast. I'm not a good liar. I'm not a good liar.

- Okay. - I believe you got seven hours of sleep. - That's not true. - I believe you sat down the whole time on the jet seat. - Actually, it is true. I got about six hours of sleep. - What is happening? - What the hell?

- Just taking you all on a ride. - So what time did you go to sleep? Don't take us on a ride. - What time do you go to sleep? 10:00 PM. - 4:30. - You didn't go to sleep. - And then when did you wake up? - 4:00 Ozark time, which is two o'clock Pacific time. - We're only talking about the time we're living in. - Yeah, I was like, what the fuck I'm looking at four. - Okay, and so then what time did you wake up? - Seven.

730. Where's the six hours? Weird, wild stuff. Then I went back to sleep for a little bit. So it really was like a workout. You hit the wave runner. Sorry, Jeske. I don't know what we're calling it. It's a wave runner. Out there. I'll let you know. It's a wave runner. I read the side of the fucking do hickeys. All right. Okay. I,

You really took us on a ride there, buddy. And this was another episode of... I do stand by a jet ski workout, though. That is really cool. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I don't know what to tell you. I can stand by it. It's just not a real thing. I mean, I rode jet skis. It's not a workout. You literally... This is all you do. You...

I didn't say it was a workout. I didn't say like, God, I'm so, I'm saying I'm hungry. I haven't had food yet. Sure. I'm hungry too. That's a big fucking deal, bro. Admittedly, my, my dad, bless his heart, beat cancer. So we're, we're letting things slide. We're letting things slide. I'm looking at like fucking 12 uncooked eggs over there that should be cooked in my fucking belly. What do you mean? They're like,

Uncooked eggs like it's... Yeah, no, he's right. They're just chilling there. No, that's breakfast material. It's on the counter. Someone started laying out breakfast and then abandoned it. What my dad did is he goes, and for the past month...

He's gone. Tell you what I'm doing. I got it. I'm getting a griddle, baby. And then he got this griddle last week. And then he goes, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I got the griddle every morning. Eggs, bacon. Waking up to flat pancakes. And I heard about this. And he gets closer and closer every time he tells you. He's like, pancakes, hash browns.

everything you want baby and i'm like oh yeah that'll be awesome people will love that and here we are damn near 1 p.m here we are not okay not a not an egg has been cooked they're on the table though they're just sitting there what happened do you remember when we before we started this morning everybody was in the kitchen

Everybody was like making things happen and then they all just abandoned us. What the hell? Well, I think they were like, we're doing the podcast and we're respecting it. I wanted it to be bustling. But the griddle is outside. You could be cooking eggs and all that out there. Yeah. So what's up? Wait, are they eating out there? We're giving him one pass. What do we got? One, like one month. No, no, no, no. This was it.

This was his swing. So we can fire on your dad tonight? Yeah. I will say last night the highlight was at some point we all just start drunkenly, minus Kyle, chanting Dennis. No, I was there, though. I was soberly chanting Dennis. He was saying minus the drunkenly part. Okay, but I was there. You were there, Kyle. I don't know. You might have been out jumping waves. There's no waves on the jet skis out there. But the chanting Dennis, I was like, I'm pissed now!

We know what that means. But one of the Nate was like, whoa, Dennis must be having a pretty good time over there. Yeah, I love it. I love my favorite part about bachelor parties is just the aggressive chanting that is done for no apparent reason. Yeah, we were having some heart. We had some good chance in the bus. What was the song that everybody fucking like went to town on singing? It was like a Green Day song that everybody was singing every fucking lyric. And it was like, wow.

That's when I went back for another beer. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Ders was not impressed with that. I liked it. I thought the moment was sick. Yeah. Do I have the time to listen to you whine? I don't. Whoa. See, he remembers it. Yes, points! Thank you. Well, they're going to be at the wedding, I think. That's cool. You can show your disgust to them in person.

Hi.

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Oh, look who's here. Wait a minute. Breakfast of kings. Okay. We got ourselves a fried egg. Look at this. Popozao. Bro, just hooked me up with one of them eggs. Popozao. For everyone at home, Kyle just took an egg off my plate like it was a... Pancake. Like it was an Ants on a Log snack or something. Pizza, pizza. Barehanded. I'm very hungry. Delicious.

It's all there when you're ready. Thank you, Dennis. He just showed us his breakfast. Why do you just sit down in five forks and then you take the food away? Yeah, there's some real fucking... You don't just sit forks down and then... There's some logistical nightmares happening over here. You can't get egg yolk in the computer. It screws them up. That's a good song. That's true.

He just said you can't get egg yolk in the computer. It screws him up. Well said. I've never done this before. He's right. I'm glad you're back, man. He's right. I eat because I'm on Hoppy. Thank you, Dad. Honestly, this is fucking huge. Thank you. It's like he heard us through... Yeah, how did he hear? Are we live? I have no idea. He's coming back for more. How did you hear us talking shit? I'll take another egg, man. Because Isaac's got you tuned in. Oh, man.

Wow. Can I get one more of the Mags? I just want one. And maybe another. Thank you, Dennis. I feel like we should probably just be powering through on the podcast and not eating the whole time, but...

Yeah, I mean, I think it's kind of fun. It lets people kind of get a sense for what we're doing. This is interactive. You're at the Brozarks with us, guys. This is a really special moment. Do you smell the bacon? Yeah, lucky you. Do you smell the bacon? Do you see the hash browns with a little bit of, what is that, an Ortega chili? Mm-hmm.

Delicious. The bacon is legit. Okay. What episode of Workaholics was that? I just saw a clip. Someone posted a clip the other day I saw online. He's crying. And no, it was you looking. It was Blake looking in the mirror and he goes, why God?

Why did you curse me with this ugly face? The snot, the boogers, the BO, the deodorants. You got a Dennis Devine spotting behind you, Kyle. Oh, hey-o. You see this guy? There he is. Thank you for the egg, sir. The man, the myth. Wow.

Yeah, I don't know. I think that was a later episode in the season. I don't recall which one that actually was. A later episode in the season? It's like you're in the bathroom. I remember doing the bit a lot in the room. The bit was like... Oh, that was a later episode in the season. In the season. And then he said, what did I say?

I'm broke, man. I'm dusted. I'm dusted. Dear Jesus. The Bloody Mary is not bringing you back at all. It's helping a little bit, but I puked right before we got on air. Right. He did. It's not good. For some reason, I thought this whole Brozarks live cast would be a fun idea to do in the afternoon, but I woke our ass up at 10 o'clock in the morning to do this shit. Yeah.

That was rough. Yeah, I was out on the jet ski and I get a fucking like a, whoop, whoop, come in. I'm like, I'm having fun. I'm getting air. And then it's like, all right, cool. Come in here. None of you guys even want to do it. I'm stoked on it. I can't believe you're away yet. That being said, I was like to everybody, I was like, hey, if you want to come on, you have like a fun story or whatever you want to tell on the podcast. You know, it's a bachelor party podcast. I think it'd be fun if anyone and everyone was like,

Yeah. I think they're coming in 45 minutes. They're going to come in. They were like, we'll come towards the end. And I said, sure. Who said that? People. There's no one here. It's just us. Adam's bachelor party is very sad. We have cardboard cutouts of our favorite celebrities. He made us do our podcast.

I don't think this is my idea. Was this my idea? It could have been. Maybe. Oh, let's walk it back. Check the tapes. Yeah, let's walk it back. I'm having a great time, guys. I am too. It's my favorite episode of today. I think so. Of the season. Well, we're going to do a couple. Yeah, it's a later episode in the season. It's a three-parter for sure. So we've already had one person vomit, Blake. One person stand up and piss the bed. Perfect!

So far, the bachelor party's going great. Now we need someone to get arrested. Okay. And...

Someone to get a minor injury. Damn it. Sure. And then lose someone for a night. And then you're like, oh, what happened? And then you're like, uh-oh, maybe they met a chick. But then, no, they slept in an alleyway. Right. That's the worst. Yeah, they slept in like a gravel pit somewhere. That's like scary. And you wake up, where'd they go? Uh-huh. Yeah, but it's... Under the golf cart. But, you know, it makes for a good story for a bachelor party. Yeah, you got to find them. Uh-huh. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah! Hey!

Hey, okay, we got another puker. Adam Ray from the distance just said that he puked as well. A three-pointer from beyond the arc, a fellow puker. I don't even know where he is. I just heard his voice. That's the thing. Adam Ray has the most beautiful voice. He's got the best voice of our crew. Some resonance. Yeah, so it can be coming from... It sounds like the voice of God. It just kind of pierces your spine. Adam? I puked as well.

Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Have a great bachelor party, Adam. Oh, my God. God's cool. I like that God is also the same voice as, like, Santa Claus. Who's nutty bunny for these?

Thank you, God. God's voice is the same as Hyundai commercials. Yeah, right. Get an all new Hyundai Tucson. I always did envision God as Santa Claus, to be honest. Like when I think of God. Then America has done its job.

Deforming Christianity. When you think of God as a being, what do you see? I see Bismarck-y. Why? Okay. Good answer. I don't. I mean, maybe Morgan Freeman because I've seen Bruce Almighty. So many times. Yeah. Yeah, I can dig that. This dude is always watching Bruce Almighty. Dude, I just love Bruce Almighty. I can't stop watching Bruce. It is a funny movie. Is that noise from Bruce Almighty?

It's one of the funniest scenes in movies where...

He made his career on that show. This dude said it's one of the funniest scenes in movies. It was the last time you watched when Steve Carell is at the podium and he's controlling his mouth live on TV. Is Jim Carrey controlling him in that? Is he Jesus in that movie? He has the powers of God, right? He becomes God. Yeah, that's why he's almighty. So God is Jim Carrey. Well, God has the powers of... Jim Carrey has the powers of God, but then Morgan Freeman's like, yo, you gotta use your powers fucking right, bro. Andy Dude Frayn.

Remember Andy Dude? What was that from? Andy Dude Frane. Andy Dude Frane. Crawled through two miles of shit. I think it was a room bit. No, it was Andy Dude Frane. Andy Dude's friend.

Andy dude's friend crawled through two miles of unmentionable poo-poo. Maybe that movie would have won an Oscar if that was the case. I think it did, player. I think it got it. No, it got beat by like Forrest Gump a bunch, right? Damn. Whoa, Shawshank was up against Gump?

He's the best. Yeah, if you want to call it that. That's a fucking year, bro. It's crazy. The staying power of Shawshank, obviously, everybody watches it whenever it comes on. It plays all the time. On TNT. You're not really watching Forrest Gump that much, although I would say... Too long. The movie's too long. Shawshank, I think, is... Yeah, they're both really long movies. Can we get running times from the producers on Shawshank Redemption and Forrest Gump? I'm willing to bet $100 that Forrest Gump is longer than Shawshank Redemption.

You're willing to bet? Okay, I'll bet you. I mean, I'll go for $100. Hey, I'm willing to jump in the lake right now. What are we saying? But I'm not. Forrest Gump is longer than Shawshank Redemption. For $100. I'm going Shawshank's got to be longer. No way. I think Shawshank's longer by like 10 minutes. No. Forrest Gump is very long. I can't wait to take your fucking money, bro. Forrest Gump was like two VHSs when it dropped. No, it wasn't. Both are two hours and 22 minutes, they're saying. Wait, they're exactly the same? They're the exact same? They're the exact same. Oh my God. Oh my God.

How did we play this? What? That's crazy. One more credit. A couple more credits could have changed the run time. This is insane. This is absolutely insane. Kyle, you're speaking inside baseball right now. We truly... What?

have a hundred dollars on the line and you're telling me that it is the exact same runtime that's yeah but i don't believe when you make bets involving any kind of money or anything i'm good for it no and a dude friend what is he not good for it what did he bet we bet something earlier do a leap of thing yeah oh yeah i had never saw that cash yeah

Yeah, you do owe us for that. Yeah, but if you go back and listen to that episode... You do owe us for that. If you listen to that episode, that was so convoluted and fucking... You guys just ruined that. It was pretty clear cut.

Yeah, he was saying that he's betting that Dua Lipa was going to win the song of the year versus everyone else, and you were willing to put your $100 on the line. And your reputation. And then it didn't win. Right. She, that song. Right.

That song didn't win. It didn't win. Cousin It, bro. Right. And then no one saw any money. So how was that convoluted?

I remember over-engineering the bet for the purposes of entertainment, but we knew what it was. Did you send it to me in liquid IV? Yes. I'm paying you daily in liquid IV, so drink up. Fair enough. Pour that powder in your mouth or wherever you want to put that powder. It makes everything better. If I had Venmo, I would ask you to Venmo me right now. You don't have a Venmo? Dude, I recently got a Venmo. I don't live in this digital currency. I don't live it. I don't have it.

You have to. This photo is about a derse. I'm over here. Oh, hey. Now we're taking photos. Yeah, we're taking a photo. Guys, we're taking live photos right now. We're at the bachelor party. It's getting out of hand. People need us to look certain directions. We're taking photos. We're wearing cool sunglasses. A team is coming in. This guy's got muscles. The shirt is off. He's flexing. It is a festival of dudes out here, and we are lit.

Loving it. Man, you know those fucking eggs are kicking in right about now. What does that mean? Feeling good. Feeling regulated. Feeling more calm. Feeling less likely to lie. Yeah.

That's what happens when you're hungry. When you're a little hungry, you just become a lion. I get really erratic and my behavior becomes like, I don't even know. Are you saying this so that when you are on trial later, you're like, it's out there. I get erratic and do crazy things when I'm hungry. And when they found that body, I was starving. Might as well.

I was hungry. Okie dokie. Didn't have any fucking Jack in the box. Atiba, have you been jet skiing? So gnarly. Everybody's jet skiing. Come on, dog. Did you catch any air out there? Bad breath. What's up, y'all? What's up, y'all? Atiba Jefferson, everybody. We're good. He hooked us up with his sunglasses. He's been jet skiing. He's having a hell of a time. He's one of my mung angels. Yeah.

He's one of divine's mung angels. I'm an angel. Yeah, we call him the hopper. He's the one who jumps on the body. Yeah 100% Oh shit. I hear the board. I'm not a rugaloid. Sorry, Kyle. I'm a boarder. About damn time. We got some representation. I feel the borders don't get enough love at

I feel like the Rugaloids is a better name, but the more people are board bros. I'm on Blake's angle right now because I'm a boarder, bro. I'm a fucking boarder. Give me a hell yeah. Look at this. Oh, damn. The true hero of the match party right here. I'm just going to say, Adam, I love you. Thanks, Tom. And I love you, Love Animal Collective. All right.

I love it. Oh, dude. Hell yeah, you do. That's cool. Fucking pound it again, bro. A strong shout out. A strong shout out from Atiba Jefferson, the second guest on the pod. We were playing some last night. Hey, Animal Collective, if you guys are listening, I'm sure you are. If you want to send us a new theme song, we'll use that. Animal Collective, I know these guys are big fans. I don't know any of them, but I could just tell through their music that they would like us. Yeah, they definitely do. If they want to send us a theme song, feel free.

We got a bunch of mung angels here. They're coming here and floating in, looking for the fried eggs. It's starting to bustle a little bit. It took about 30 minutes of respecting the podcast, and then they're like, can they wrap it up? And now the wheels are off. The wheels have fully come off. We got pissed my bed, Mike. Hey, watch my light, bro. Wet bed, Mike. Oh, pissed my bed, Mike.

This is a bit, right? You're doing a bit about pissing the bed? Yeah. That's right. That wasn't for sure you. A good popo's out to you all today. Wow. Hey, man.

I just want to say congrats, Chloe and Adam. I love you both. I want to give a shout out to my No Limit Soldier neighbor who was listening to the pod simultaneously as I was. And he's been there since he was five years old. So he's like probably 20 now.

Who? My neighbor. I was walking my dog, and he's like, what's up? Like, you're going to the bachelor party. Oh, he knew about it. Wow, now there's some hugs coming in. Oh, we got a kiss. We're getting forehead kisses. I got a lot of bald head kisses last night. Oh, yeah, I kept rubbing it and touching it. If you're just joining us now, we're having fun. He's one of my mung angels, one of my many mung angels. Hot, hot, hot, hot. One guy has a backpack on, like...

Inside for breakfast. We're at a dining room table in a house. People are behind us. Winning. How many? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 human men. 8 human men. 8 hungover human men are behind us.

It's like if Harry and the Hendersons had several Harrys. That's what's happening right now? And that was another episode of... It's as if Harry and the Hendersons had several Harrys. That's a good pitch, though. Oh, the bloodies keep coming. I think you just cracked the pitch. Henderson and the Harrys. Multiple Harrys, dude.

Henderson and the Harrys. Yeah, flip it. So now John Lithgow, he goes into the forest to kill himself because he had like a rough life. Yeah, this is it. Here we go. He's about to jump off the cliff. No one believes him that a Sasquatch lived with his family. And it destroyed his reputation. His family. He got divorced. His wife is like fucking like a real estate mogul now. He's been shamed.

fucking a real estate mogul or she is a real estate mogul? Both. She's fucking one and then took over his business. They're flipping houses on a reality show together. And they bought his house. They're like, you can't afford to live here anymore. And they bought it and he goes, fine, take it. He goes to the cliff, he jumps. Before he hits the ground, the Sasquatch catches him. And he goes, you live with us now. Yes, come with us. Wait, and I do a John Lithgow. Let me do it for the pitch. Okay. Harry! Harry!

Yep. Thanks for saving me. Yes. Oh, my God. Have you seen Third Rock from the Sun? Well, that's really good. Adam Ray, everybody. Adam Ray, everybody. It brings in Third Rock. So we're a Third Rock, Harry and the Hendersons multiverse. Got it. Holy fuck. There's the Lithgowverse. Yeah. Yep. Thank you. Galverse. Wow. I love that we're all rocking the Oakleys. It's all coming together, guys. And there's like... I mean, I love this pitch. Yeah.

I do too. It sold it for me when Adam Ray came in here and blew us out of the fucking water with a Lithgow. I love that Adam Ray is so talented. He has a John Lithgow. Right, right, right. Ready to go. Not many people. I do want to say I'm officiating the wedding as John Lithgow slash Isaac Horn. This wedding is so fucking punk rock. That's amazing. Congrats, Adam and Chloe. Rage.

Get those Dennis D cancer-free eggs and bacon ready. He's got a lip gal, bro. When did you start doing this lip gal? When did you first discover you had a lip gal?

About five minutes ago. Yeah. No way. No way. You've never done a Lithgow? I've done, my brother-in-law rapper, Derte, brother-in-law, believes in Bigfoot, and so I make fun of him for believing in Bigfoot, and I did a Lithgow to him once. That's rude. What's that? It's rude to make fun of him for believing in Bigfoot, but that's tight. Yeah. But he's not a little boy. He's an adult man. That's true. Got him. I'm with you. It's still just like, you know, you're shaming him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But also, people are too sensitive now. You should be able to make fun of people when they're dumb. Right. Thank you. Okay. The people that were like, coronavirus, corona beer. Beer made the virus. I've seen a Sasquatch print. I've seen a picture of a Sasquatch print. Like a footprint. Kyle, stop, dude. Yeah, and we're allowed to make fun of you if you believe in it. Actually, I'm doing it so that you can. I know you're doing it. Come on, man. This Bloody Mary number two is,

way stronger than the first one. Gracias, señorita. Isaac's getting a heavy hand on these boars. I'm going to be puking in no time. Thank you.

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Do you think you're going to yackle again? You don't think? I feel like I woke up today not feeling like, not my best. Right. But then this has really turned it around for me. Yeah. The hair of the dog. Do we want to mention the fact that before we got here, when everyone was in route, what were you doing? Jetskiing and drinking. You didn't puke? That shit's important. Oh, I puked. Well, I drank. You woke up and puked yesterday. I woke up and puked yesterday. What? Well, yeah. What?

we were playing beer dice. And so I drank like 10 beers the night before. And I haven't drank

that many beers concurrently in a very long time like right we drank it in like an hour and a half I had like 10 beers and was just so bloated the next morning I'm like working out because I know I have to jet ski I'm working out by jet ski I'm doing my crossfitty shit being a fucking athlete fitness style and uh and I just yacked and it tasted exactly like

Coors Light and Puppy Chow. Like the perfect mix. Puppy Chow, the like kid snack. What would you eat? Adults like it's fucking delicious. Wait, Puppy Chow is for dogs. Not Puppy Chow dog food. It's right there. Puppy Chow like Midwest. That's Muddy Buddies. That's called a Muddy Buddy. Hey, no. Homie, we're in the Midwest. I don't know a goddamn thing about Puppy Chow for humans. This is Muddy Buddies. Look it up. Let me see it. Okay, this is called a Muddy Buddy. Well, not here. Yeah, this is a fucking Muddy Buddy. Well, this is a fucking Muddy Buddy.

It says people chow right here, by the way. That's okay. That's a fun play. It's a fun play. A fun play? It doesn't say muddy nothing. I've never heard it called that. I just got to try it. Oh, it's delicious. I love it. Well, you're not in California anymore, okay, Blake?

You're in the Midwest, and here we call it puppy chow. I'm pissed now! That's a weird thing to call it. Now let me try this stuff. What is it? Admittedly, it is a weird thing. It is weird. It does not look like dog food, but I guess it kind of does. Dude, that's fucking good. But it's delicious. So anyways, imagine you puke that the next day. It's actually kind of pleasant. Right. When I puked it, I was like...

I didn't mind tasting that again. What do they call that? A repeat? When you burp and you taste it, is that called a repeat? It can be. Take two? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And that's all just covered in cocaine. That's crazy. That's a really weird snack to have. This is a really expensive snack that we bought at the local Hy-Vee. Shout out to Hy-Vee food stores. Shout out. I don't call them grocery stores anymore. I call them food stores.

Hy-Vee is a very Midwestern...

grocery store chain and shut them out. There's a helpful smile in every aisle. Oh, that's, is that their thing? Or do you just make that up? No, that's their thing where there's a helpful smile in every aisle. By the way, there's not, I went there. I'm like, I'm asking this kid, people hate their life. Yeah. And I'm like, Hey man, do you, uh, you know where the solo cups are? And he looked at me like I'm a fucking asshole. And he goes, no, I don't know, dude. It's my second day. Oh,

Oh, man. And I'm like... I got this started out as like, love it, shout out to them. Although... Although... Fuck that. Did he also take his Oakleys off? Was he wearing Oakleys? He should have been. He should have been. No, that was... Hy-Vees, the first time I ever had an over-easy egg. Because their thing is they have... Hey, I don't know what that is, brother. They have... They have little, like, restaurants attached to each one of them. And so...

We are firing on all. I thought this dude was about to pull out a word I never heard before. He was searching for the word restaurant. Dude, well, I called the grocery store a food store earlier, so that's where I'm at. So there were restaurants. We ordered eggs, and my dad goes, I'll take mine over easy. I'm like, what's that? He goes, just get it. I got it. Just get it. Didn't know that you could do eggs any other way.

Then scrambled. Exactly. It opened my eyes. Shout out to Hy-Vee. Wait, wait, wait. Just the other day, you didn't know you could have eggs? No, he's talking about his youth. No, no, no. I was a child. Hy-Vee. When you were a child. Yeah, when I was a child. I'm tripping on something, though. That's a grocery store with a fucking restaurant. Yeah, dog. A sit-down? Yeah, man. That's pretty dope. That's so dope. You can go, like, work out in a grocery shop and, like, push the cart around. What?

Wait, what? Wait, how is that a workout? Well, you know, like you're pushing the cart around and stuff. Oh, yeah. You kind of just relay any kind of activity is a workout for you. Yeah, I mean, yeah. So you're working out your arm right now by holding the microphone up? I'm stretching. Yeah.

Does your Apple watch say you've got your steps yet or what? Let me see where I'm at on my watch, bro. By the way, they've just started doing dishes behind us. I love that we respected the podcast for 30 minutes. Now we're fully doing dishes. Well, there's also a huge announcement. It looks like we have a giant box of Hot Pockets that got delivered to us. Yeah, I don't...

So that's pretty cool. Who? Oh, this is big. Me. Yeah, I don't know how... Pepperoni and sausage Hot Pockets. That's big. Are Hot Pockets a sponsor of the pod? Because they should be. Hot Podkits? They most definitely should be. Hot Podkits. I don't want to hold it. Thank you, though. Wait, why? Didn't we have somebody reach out to us about Hot Pockets? What was it? So I said...

We were coming out to the Brozarks, and I just want Hot Pockets to be there. And then Hot Pockets DM'd me like, heard you talking shit. Wait, what was the name of the handle? They were mad? No, no, like good shit. But Blazer, what is the name of the handle? It's very funny. I don't remember. What is it? I can't. It's like... It's like... Fuck. It's at Hot Pockets. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's like a play on... It's crazy. It's...

Tasty Hot Pockets. What, the handle of their Instagram handle? Or their Twitter handle. It's something like Microwave Us. Do you remember when they started to do the croissant pockets and they changed the fucking gazane? Dude, I used to fuck up a lean pocket. I was a lean pocket boy. That's right, you were. You really thought that shit was going to get you spelt? No, I didn't think it was going to get me less fat.

Than the normal hot pocket. Than the normal hot pocket. Did you find those lean? It is true. It's just less fat. And on this pod, we respect hot pockets. I love hot pockets. Hot pockets are the bomb. And I say, fuck whatever breakfast they're trying to make us. Let's just eat 25 hot pockets after this one. I can't find it. But the guy's name was like Pep Aroni or some shit. But it was good. I can't remember it. Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up!

Shout out to Hot Pockets for hooking it up. I thought someone just bought these Hot Pockets and was like, you know what? I don't trust Adam to have groceries for us because he calls a grocery store a food store and can't remember the name of a restaurant. Sure. So then they just sent Hot Pockets. But no, big shout out to Hot Pockets for actually coming through. Thank you, Hot Pockets. Yeah, they rocked it. Do you Cali boys say market?

Huh? Did you grow up saying market for what? For a grocery store. No. They say market in LA. For the grocery store. That's weird. I don't know. I'm having fun over here. You just shut off. I know. What happened? You were fine just a minute ago. What's happening, Durst? You're getting sad. Is it time to ride the bull? Yeah, ride the bull. Durst just goes, it was a funny thing. I'll look at it. It goes quiet for three minutes. I can't find it. It's better. Did you guys say market? Bitcoin was down. I'm crushed.

dude remember the guy so i was flying here from atlanta to kc and the dude was watching that stock market channel or whatever losing his mind losing his mind like so mad at the stocks yeah like hitting the chair next to me i'm like is he gonna punch me because the stocks are going down you're such a bitch that's what went through your mind is he gonna punch me

I was scared. Because of stocks? He was an aggro stock dude? Super aggro. I've never seen somebody react to stocks like it's sports. Well, they're moving so fast now, right? You kind of can't. Can I tell you something? I mean, I don't know. Everybody who is a trader looks at stocks like they're sports. Trader? Yeah. That's the whole thing. Yeah, that's what they get off on. But also, unless that is your job...

Unless that is your job, don't worry about it. Just invest in companies that you think will be around in 30 years and then truly don't look at it. That's my business advice. Do not look at it. Guns and butter. Look at it like twice a year. You want the graph that's going like this, but a lot of people are after these fucking quick graphs right now. Not us. We're about that slow money, Kyle. You got to burn, doggy.

Yeah, I don't know. Only invest in things you like. Okie dokie. Get them. Yeah. Yep. A Jeeba Jefferson with that hot, hot Intel. Big Pharma. Yes, sir. People like me like stuff no one else likes. Nintendo. Yeah, you would make poor Nintendo. No, I'd lose money on that. Yeah.

He goes, that's fine, dude. No, but isn't that what they did with the fucking GameStop shit? They liked it, and they held it, and they fucking manipulated that shit. All right, let me call them. That shit's tight. Let me call those guys. Love the fucking pirates out there, bro. That shit's important. All right. None of us invest like that. Do any of us day trade or anything like that? I don't know. I see people do that all the time just on Robin Hood or whatever. Yeah, right. Robin Hood? That's the app. Oh, that's the app.

I've never heard of it. That's the app where you can get in and start fucking trading. That's why all these people are throwing their digital currency in there and then they're watching it. And that's why he's about to punch you because he's like, I fucking put everything in this. I haven't had any advice except for the people on Reddit. You know? He was stressed. That's what it is. It's like Wall Street bets. I felt bad for him, man. Zach, what you got over there, dog? Okay, right now...

There's a person with some things over there. Wow. We got some props coming in. Yeah. Zach made us all t-shirts. He's christened everyone the divine mung angels. I will say, like, I was a little worried that Zach was, like, in charge of getting all this stuff done. He's just a surfer bro. But look at this guy. Prepared as hell. He's got a fanny pack. A puff boulder. Uh-oh. Game over. Look at this. Game over.

- Time over, man. - Look at this. - I'll put this on right now. - And we're wearing this to Michael's pizza. - He's wearing this with no bottoms on too. This is just his pants. - I thought we were going to Olive Garden. - Yeah, I'm a little disappointed at how few dicks I've seen. - Zach's had his dick out last night. - What do you mean? - Full fruit yesterday. - You went skinny dipping last night. - Oh yeah, I did see your dick. I just remembered. - Didn't you go skinny dipping too?

Your dick is forgettable, dude. That's good. It's burned into my memory. It's a non-starter. You got a nice looking cock, Zach. That's what you want. You want a forgettable dick. You got a botched circumcision? You don't want everyone to be like, it's so small, you remember it. Now I'm kind of remembering it. Yeah, you want it just to be like, that's a dick. I've been told I got a great, great doctor. Like, that's the gold standard of circumcisions is your dick. Moving on. Oh, it's good circumcision. Ha!

Thank you. You were snipped well. Great. I wonder, do you know who did it? Do you have his name? Or hers? It was in the forest. Wow. You were snipped in the forest. Wow. Adam's looking good. So guys, if you're just tuning in at home, he's wearing all sorts of bachelor party. Same vagina forever. Same vagina forever, baby. Get cozy. Wow. We're back. I love it.

I love it. Hey, guys, any take-backs, giveaways, or compliments? Are we there? Are we there? Ders is pulling the rip cord. Ders is done. He checked out, bro. I'm trying to go work out. Yeah. Right away, runner. Let's go fucking. Yes, let's go. Should we do another one in like three hours, though? Another podcast? Yeah. As much as we can get ahead on this stuff. I think our producers would love that. Yeah. Should we bring the headphones? Yeah. Sorry. Forgot those. My bad. Is that a take-back or an apology? Would you like to take back or apologize for that? Yeah. Yeah.

I would like to apologize. The one thing I forgot to pack was the damn headphones. But we made it work because we're in the same room. I never unplug this stuff. It's in a nest in the corner and I grab it. I'm not coming from my house. I was coming from Atlanta. I had a lot to think about. Get off my back. Okay. But why do you unplug? Why does anything come out of this? Get off my back. Well, because you have to. You have to unplug stuff to roll it up and coil it up properly. Thank you, Kyle. And look, and I can reach over.

and I can touch him. I never do. Adam doesn't either. I can feel that. Adam and I are going to be friends longer than friends with you guys. We're the best friends. I like this side of the table. That's fine. We're over here. Well, guys, thank you for listening to this absolutely insane episode. We're pretty hungover. My mom's here. Penny! Wow! Hi! Hi! Say something really funny.

Something really funny. Yeah! Oh, shit! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! The jumps are in the jeans. That was sick. Oh, hell yeah. Dennis! Dennis! Dennis! Dennis! Dennis! Dennis! Dennis! Dennis! Dennis! Dennis!

That's that. We did it.

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Hey guys, we here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese! It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it. What? I know, I'm crazy. Yeah, dude, it's hella good. You gotta try it. With so many unique recipes...

How could you go wrong? And yes, you can find a ton of recipes on the Philadelphia website. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home.