223: Dumpster Dive..
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This episode is brought to you by Diet Coke. You know that moment when you just need to hit pause and refresh? An ice-cold Diet Coke isn't just a break. It's your chance to catch your breath and savor a moment that's all about you. Always refreshing, still the same great taste. Diet Coke. Make time for you time. Okay. Oh, your other ring. Wait, do you have both rings? No, just one ring. Oh, okay.

What happened to the other one? The other one's like my travel and like bop around ring. Okay. Because this one's precious. Nice. Yeah. Here we go. Coming at ya. It's Wednesday evening for us. June 11th. It's been a bit of a hectic, sad, heavy week here in LA. Kind of felt like a big shit sandwich, if I'm being honest. Yeah.

So this episode is hopefully coming at a good time to distract everyone and take our minds off of things. I know I patched it in an episode a couple back, but really thinking about our immigrant communities, those that are being affected by everything that's going on right now. And links will be in the description if you're undocumented and are worried about ICE and just need to know your rights or if you want to help out and get involved in your community and

Make it a safer, better place for others. So check the description if you want to get involved. But thinking of everyone and just it's not OK what's going on. It's pretty reprehensible regardless of what side you stand on. Treating other humans this way is barbaric, horrendous.

There's no words, honestly, for how I'm feeling right now. So I'm going to try not to cry. And I just want to get into this really crazy fun theme I have this week. But...

We do have new merch and it feels odd to be like, oh yeah, we have new merch guys. But I've worked on this now for four months with our amazing merch team, getting it right, getting it perfect for you guys. And we are all wearing a piece of clothing from the new merch line.

Lauren, what do you got on over there? I think you can describe it better than I can. You know, cloths, words and sounds, and I don't know those. Lauren is wearing this amazing brown sweatshirt. Hers is light brown. I'm in a brown sweatshirt as well, but mine is dark brown. And the two sweatshirts have two different cuts. Mine has like a dropped shoulder seam here that you'll see if you're watching on YouTube or looking on the Instagram. Go look.

And then mine is Terry. So mine is like really heavy duty material on the inside, whereas Lauren's is also heavy duty, but hers has a soft finish. And Lauren's hangs really nicely. So if you're a curvy gal like myself and you love a sweatshirt that just like hangs loose and kind of off your hips, the light brown might be for you.

And then Justin has our new Gab Gossip Tea Chisme shirt. And it's like it's got T-H-T in like blue letters underneath, but it's like super subtle. And then it's got like a grapevine going across the letters like, haha, I heard it through the grapevine.

I love it. The tea, the gossip. So it's been really, really fun to design. But I think it looks like it could be a designer shirt. It's actually, I was telling Morgan, because this is my first time seeing it. It's my favorite shirt.

best far. I think it's so cute. Thank you. And that's not even the best part. Okay. So we all love like a good customization, a fun craft, especially right now, like getting into crafts and like doing cathartic activities is so good for you. So with the hoodies, it comes with one patch on and it's just like a standard, like staple two hot takes patch.

And then with the hoodie, you get a total of 12 other patches that are all Too Hot Takes related. So it's our Let's Dive In. We have the Slug, Waiting for an Update. One of our tour tees are Heart Guys. So this is like a Too Hot Takes society. Little cherries that are fun. Maybe my personal favorite.

Nice. Always. And he says, too, how to take social club. Am I the asshole? So we've got some really fun patches and they're meant for you guys to like be able to arrange how you want them. I'll post a picture of how I think I'm going to arrange mine and then you'll see on a final reveal like an episode later. Can't wait. The coconut definitely was not the asshole.

Just saying. No, but it's meant to like be able to do fun stuff and like I'm going to hand stitch I think some stuff on mine like a little like horseshoe and I know like chain stitching and like embroidery is really fun for some people so I just really like

I want to see everyone be able to customize it in a way they find really cool. It's a canvas. It is. I love that. It is. It's actually so cute. I think it's going to be so fun. We're going to have like a little patch party. And then I think, you know, everyone that gets them, we're going to do like a special like Zoom event eventually. And like.

If you want to wait and put your patches on with us, then you could. Like we did a tie-dye party back in the day when we did our very first merch drop. I know, I remember that. That was so, so long ago. So it's kind of reminiscent of that and just giving us all a way to connect and have some fun together. But anyone else have some life updates they want to share? Anything big going on? I'm just trying to day by day. Yeah.

Just out here. Just existing. Justin has a concert coming up. Oh, that's exciting. What concert? Your own. You're doing it? Just a little show around here, around town. Yeah, he's got a show. Just a little show around town. So what are the dates? A date? Yeah. 24th of July. Where at? I thought you were going to say my birthday. I was like, no way. July.

I don't know how to pronounce it. Bar Lubitsch. And it's free. It's free. I'll post a link for the show info if anyone wants to come. I'll be there. Maybe Lauren will join me. That's the reason they come. You got to support our guy. And you want to see his music. Gets people in the door. That is true. And we'll cheer. We'll cheer loud for Justin. But okay, I'm kicking off my shoes. I'm getting buckled in. No shoes on the shrug.

I'm getting buckled in. I am ready for this episode. You guys aren't matching my energy yet and I'm a little scared for what that's going to bring. So I in my head was picturing like fireworks and picturing all those like crazy little noises that you guys show me.

The like little sound effects. Yeah. I think you should add that to that moment. The chipmunk sound effect alter my voice. No, no. Like more of just like like what we usually do when we're pumped or just like a fake like laugh track or like a fake clap track. Yeah.

Yeah. Cheers. Okay. Or it could be the, you know, the Teletubbies intro. Oh, no. Not this again. No, no, no. Nope. We're good. We're good. Okay. Let's dive in, everyone. Let's do it. Let's go. Let's go.

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No, don't do it. Morgan, shut him down. I'm just kidding. Live your best life. So I've been saying shit sandwich. So we're going to do like the opposite of a shit sandwich and we're going to do a cronut. I don't know. What's a good sandwich? I don't know what cronut is. Can I say a brand?

Whoa, what just happened there? Say a brand? I can't say a brand. Well, just say what you're going to say. Jimmy John's, Ike's. Yeah, that little Dutch crunch. Cousins, subs. Do you remember Cousins? Never. Cousins, subs? In Minnesota? I don't think that existed. No.

Yes, it did. Yes, it did. See, I lived in Minnesota. Didn't see any. Yes, it did. Yes, it... I don't know what that is. So the opposite of a shit sandwich is like if you think shit sandwich like bad and bad, good in the middle. Whoa. This is going to be good, bad, good at the end. Oh, that's not what I was talking about. I was talking good all the way through, like pot belly. Yeah, no, we're going to have chaos in the middle. Wait, what's the order again? Good...

Bad. Okay. Good at the end. I feel like that's a shit sandwich. That's like a tuna sandwich. They usually call it like a ham sandwich. It's like tuna. You guys out there that eat tuna, you're hearty. You are hearty. Hopefully you're not seeing anyone right after. You know what I'm saying? Okay, Justin apparently really hates tuna. I never knew this about him. I think tuna's pretty good. For you. Well, like a tuna sandwich, like that's not bad. For the consumer. Yeah.

Bring one on a plane and try it. What happens? Fresh. Just open it fresh. Just go for it. Does that happen to you? Just see. No. Okay. Okay, so this first one. This is coming from rslashoffmychest, 13 days old, titled, I fixed my neighbor's sink. Two months later, he left me his house. Oh my god.

I've lived in the same apartment for almost 10 years. Quiet place, mostly retirees. One of them was a grumpy old guy who never smiled and always wore socks with sandals. Are you kidding me right now? Oh my god. Two months ago, I heard banging and cursing through the wall. I knocked and found him standing in a puddle with a wrench in one hand and a YouTube tutorial paused on his iPad. The kitchen sink was spraying water like a busted fire hydrant.

I'm no plumber, but I offered to help. Took me an hour, two towels, and one trip to Home Depot. When I finished, he just grunted and said, huh, thanks. After that, I started checking in, bringing his mail up, picking up his meds, talking baseball in the hallway. He never said much, but he'd nod a little longer each time. Two weeks ago, he passed away. Massive heart attack. I figured that was that.

Yesterday, a lawyer called me. Turns out he left me his condo in his will, paid off, furniture included. Apparently, I was the only person who, quote, bothered to give a damn.

I still don't know what to do with it. I never expected anything like this. But I guess sometimes kindness boomerangs in the weirdest, wildest ways. Anyways, be nice to your neighbors. You never know who's watching or what they'll leave behind. Wow. I didn't know we were going to start with such like... Oh, you're making me cry. Okay, I can't look at you. It is true though. I mean, kindness is honestly the greatest thing because...

Whether in a bad situation, a good situation, no matter what it is, kindness never hurts. You'll never be upset with yourself for being kind. You'll go home and regret if you were, you know, mean or short with someone. You'll regret that, but you'll never regret being kind. It goes such a long way. Also, you never know. It also makes me think of like even simpler things. Like this...

Fixing someone's sink that's exploding everywhere, that's, I mean, that's next level, you know? But simply going out and every day challenging yourself to give someone a compliment because we always remember when we've gotten compliments. I can think of each compliment practically that I've received, you know, in the last few months. Oh, I like that jacket or whatever it may be. They stick with you.

And you never know what impact that's going to have on somebody. Yeah. And so like, obviously, he was doing it without expecting anything in return, just being a good person. And when you're a good person, good things come your way. Absolutely. I think kindness goes such a long way. It is one of the most beautiful human things like kindness and helping others and just empathy. And I just think this is a beautiful reminder, like,

The last line here, be nice to your neighbors. You never know who's watching or what they'll leave behind. And it's like you never do something kind like with an ulterior motive. But it's like sometimes kindness is really rewarded, really rewarded. Never know. It just like that story just makes me feel so much because you don't know what people are going through. Like even if they look like they...

don't want to talk to you, even if they look like they're happy, you don't actually know what they're going through. You don't know who else they have in their life. You don't you just don't know. And and I think it's just so beautiful that this person took the time out of their day to help someone and then continue to help someone. And again, just for no reason but to just help someone. And that person clearly didn't have a lot of people in their life that did that for them. And so it's like so.

It's like sad and beautiful at the same time when you see that like that person got to end their life with this like kindness in the world. You know, they got to experience someone who just, quote, gave a damn. Yeah, the top comment kind of picks on that too, Lauren.

I wish you had been able to know him longer. Rest in peace to your neighbor. Has to feel a bit weird receiving a gift like that under the circumstances, but you should be glad that you had a positive impact on his life. And that's the thing. Like, the guy said, you know, as you mentioned, like, gave a damn. Like, the only one to give a damn. And it's like, oh, like, you wish he would have got to experience that relationship longer. And, you know, at least you had some positive impact. And...

OP responds, yeah, it's pretty out of left field, really. A little baseball pun because they talk to baseball. A lot of really just positive comments. Thank you for being there for him. I had tears in my eyes when I finished reading it. At least you cared for him. The old guy had a friend in the end. That's beautiful. Nice to hear something like that these days. Sorry for your loss, but I think you made a difference.

Next comment.

May Mr. Grumps be resting in peace in heaven. Amen. And someone comments, you're thinking of Melina Salazar. So apparently this is a story. Yeah. But moving on to our next one here. Okay. Nice. Lauren's got the macchiato pants on today. Oh my God. Marked onto the next. Shit stain. I've never laughed so hard. Okay. Number two for us here.

This is coming from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit, two days old. Nice. It is titled, Am I the Asshole or Just Overwhelmed? Mother-in-law called asking for help tacky and dramatic. I'm a 37-year-old female who was recently diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. I'll be undergoing an extensive and invasive surgery followed by radiation.

My treatment and surgery are over two hours away, so there's a lot of travel and logistics involved on top of everything else. People have been asking how they can help, which I really appreciate. My close friend offered to make a Facebook post explaining that gas cards and food gift cards would be super helpful, mainly to cover driving costs and to support family members watching our kids, ages 10 and 7, while I'm in the hospital.

The post came from a place of kindness, but my mother-in-law saw it and called it tacky and dramatic. She texted my husband and me while we were away for treatment, saying she was angry about the post. She also messaged my friend directly to say she was out of line for posting it.

When my friend told her, my mother-in-law, that my mom, sister, and I all knew about and approved the post after my friend asked permission, my mother-in-law said, quote, there are two sides to this family.

She also told my husband and me, quote, this is not the, insert family name, way. Wow. That's so embarrassing. To be fair, my mother-in-law has already been supportive financially. She helped us out a lot to offset the cost of me taking leave from work while I recover, which I'm very grateful for. But this reaction still feels hurtful and confusing.

Not wanting to add more drama during an already hard time, I asked my friend to take the post down. She did without hesitation. But now I feel like I gave my mother-in-law exactly what she wanted. Control and silence. And I silenced someone who was just trying to help. So Reddit, I want to ask, is asking for help like that really tacky or dramatic? Even considering the financial support my mother-in-law has already provided?

Should I ask my friend to put the post back up? Knowing my mother-in-law will definitely see it. I'm trying to focus on what's ahead, but juggling family drama on top of cancer is exhausting. Any honest advice or similar experiences would really help. Thanks for listening. Damn. I'm pissed. There's not many things, situations in life where asking for help isn't right. It isn't, you know, it's like,

I think asking for help is one of the most respectable and respectful things you can do because, I mean, it can apply in so many different situations. I think a lot of people, this is different than the story, a lot of people get a job and they want to prove that they're so good at the role that they're afraid to ask for help. And I think there's a lot of times in life

Similarly, that people are afraid to ask for help because it's shown as like a weakness, which is why this mother-in-law is, oh, you can't tarnish this family name and ask for money. It's... Yeah. It...

It's very old fashioned. It's very weird pride over. That's what it is. Yeah. And totally just so out of her realm because she's not the one going through this very scary situation and just looking for help on the things so she doesn't have to worry about all this as she's freaking fighting cancer. Yeah.

And I don't think there's anything wrong in asking for help. I do agree, Justin. I think this mother-in-law is like, you don't air our family business. It makes it look like we're not helping you. And that's embarrassing. You're asking for money when you have a family. It's not our family's way.

It takes a village. It takes a community. And like there are studies that show when someone feels more supported and is more like no stress during treatment, especially cancer, they have better outcomes. If you have stress, stress changes you and makes you sick on a basic level. Now adding cancer and going through treatment, like this is not what she needs to be dealing with. So to have that village, to have people

stepping up who I'm sure are more than happy to do so because how crazy does it feel for you when you have a loved one who's sick and it's so out of your control and you want to help you want to feel like you can make a difference and make their life easier or better like we as humans typically enjoy helping our loved ones and making sure they're okay so like

It's not like it's burdensome on these other people. They just send a gas gift card, a food gift card, or they don't. Yeah. Right. How is it tacky? Yeah. I think you guys honestly nailed this take. I agree with, I think, everything you guys just said. And you guys made a lot of really good points. It's also just so frustrating to me because it feels so selfish. Like, somebody in your family...

is going through something traumatic. They're going through cancer and you're making it about yourself. And literally, and that's so frustrating to me, especially because we all know that it's not good to be stressed when you're sick. It makes it worse. Yeah. Cancer or a cold, being stressed

hurts your immune system we know that like that's a fact so it's just crazy that she would have this blow-up type of reaction saying it's like unacceptable

You know, sure, I could give her the benefit of the doubt and think, you know, she grew up in a time where this is not common for her and she feels like it's a reflection that they're not helping. And that's not the way that her mom and dad taught her. I could give her like that. But I still think that would be a conversation like, hey, I saw this post up.

I thought we were helping you. Are we not helping you enough? Not blowing up being like, how dare you take that down? That's like, to me, so crossing the line and, and that's what's unacceptable. Yeah. It's almost like she is feeling almost that she didn't step up enough because now they're asking the mother-in-law is feeling like,

oh, well, it's showing that I didn't do enough. Who knows if she's actually feeling internally like, oh, I should have helped out more. I could have. And now is feeling some sort of embarrassment out of that. But regardless, you don't then tell someone that it's tacky. I mean, it's not even approaching it. If you were approaching in a supportive way to say,

Hey, I saw the post. I know it's a crazy time. I would really love to step up and I would love to help you guys out with whatever you need. Just let me know what it is. I'll help out. And then if that's your coded way of getting the post removed, at least you're doing it from some part of decency. But like,

It's all in what the motive is. And the motive here is clearly not help. It's clearly, oh, we can't be seen this way. Embarrassment. But you know what I think it could be too? Which is so frustrating. I think it could be embarrassment or it's the fact that she's not getting any recognition because the help that she's given, the support she's given financially isn't on a public display like a Facebook post. You have all these people on the post being like, I'll give you a gas gift card. I'll give you a food gift card. But it's not like mother-in-law is going to comment and be like, oh, well,

We already gave you $5,000, but if you want more, let me know. Like, she maybe wants recognition too. Like, maybe there's some aspect of that. But I hate, hate, hate feeling like you need to...

monitor your life and monitor what you're doing, especially when it comes to social media. Like I've had to block people on social media because it's like, I'm not doing anything wrong and you need to work on you. You need to pursue your feelings and really get to the bottom of it. So like I've blocked people from my stories because I don't want to deal with it. Well, you know, we've, we had this conversation earlier, but it's like,

Little acts of kindness can mean a whole deal to somebody and little acts of negativity can also. Yeah. And so it's like, I feel like I am like, I'm I know I'm sensitive. I'm very sensitive to things that people say. I wish I was less sensitive, but like I'm.

Like somebody saying something negative to me when I'm going through a really hard time that they don't know about. They don't know what's going on in my life and they say this negative thing to me. It can change the direction of my day. I wish it didn't. And I just think stuff like this when you have people around you who are trying to patrol, control and just like

They are trying to project manage your life to save themselves embarrassment of some sort. Like, I... Yeah. That's just such a bad feeling. It's not... It's not okay. No. It's like a really... Like, the way you put that, too. Like, someone trying to project manage your life. And it's like, literally. Like, micromanage me? You're trying to micromanage me? Like...

Buzz off. Like just say that we're not related and like move on. Let me do me. Like if you're embarrassed, just be like, let's change our last name. Like unfriend me. Like unrelate to me. I don't know. Scroll past the post. Yeah. Keep going. If you think I'm embarrassing, then just like move along. Like you don't have to be attached to my identity. Yeah. No husband. I hope husband says something. I'm excited to see if there's any comments from Opie.

Top comment on this one, though. You and your friend should block your mother-in-law on social media. I hope your treatment is successful and you have a long and happy life. Next comment. Absolutely, OP. You and your friend deserve a drama-free zone right now. Blocking your mother-in-law on social media isn't mean. It's protecting your peace while you focus on healing. You're allowed to accept her financial help without letting her police your support network. Take care of yourself first.

And next comment down that has like the next second most upvotes. She's centering herself in your illness. When you get diagnosed with cancer, people want to help. It's a natural thing. Even if you didn't need gift cards, it allows people to feel like they're contributing in some way as you go through this really difficult process. Okay. I did not read any of these. And this person is like, it's weirdly like they're in my head. Wow.

It also shows how many people love and support you. She had no right to take that from you. She made it about herself and prioritized, what will all the people whose opinions I care about think over you, the cancer patient, and how you actually feel. In addition, she made you feel terrible and criticized during this already scary time in your life. I encourage your husband to talk to her and explain these things to her. This wasn't her call, it wasn't her business, and it wasn't her place to contact your friend.

I wish you all the best and a full recovery. Let people show you love in all the ways they can.

Yeah, damn. Isn't it crazy how us humans, we do that? Like the people who are closest to us and that we love the most and that we see day to day, that we care less about their opinion than these random people that are just like sometimes show up in our life. Why do we do that as humans? Why are we sacrificing the opinions and the feelings of the ones we care the most to impress people who we don't even like recognize?

rarely talk to. You know what I think is a great, great example of that? What? Is the show Schitt's Creek. Because we're now on our third round of it. You know how you pick shows up? No, it's like the fifth or sixth round. With Schitt's Creek, they start in a position of just kind of being lost in this hoity-toity world and not really in touch with reality. Yeah. Then it's so beautifully displayed how then they are in the absolute...

I mean, they're in the trenches of reality all of a sudden. And it comes to a head when they go out to dinner for their anniversary and all of a sudden they're recognized by this couple that was in their hoity-toity place with them. Yeah. And all pretend, oh, everything, our trip to the blah, blah, blah, like all the crazy shit. And they start, you know, the friends haven't been in their seat yet. So-

They're just like, oh, this town we went to, Schitt's Creek, it's such a disaster. Can you imagine living there? Oh, yeah, Schitt'sville. And you see them actually stand up and say, you know what? That's where we live. And this guy sitting across from you, that's the mayor of this town. This is the only thing that supported us when we lost everything. We didn't hear from you. We didn't hear from you at all. You wrote us off. And it's so powerful.

God, it's just so... Don't remember that episode. It's written so well. And it exemplifies aspects of what you were just talking about. And it's a good rewatch, everybody. Go start it up again. You won't regret it. It's the best. Yeah, no, it's a really great show. I mean, it's amazing to watch. Like, I feel like you watch them grow as people throughout. You watch them go from these out-of-touch rich assholes to like...

Oh, they're kind and they're caring and they're human. It's a reality check. The whole thing. I just feel like I can't get the image out of my head of David sitting in the farm. The homage field. Yeah, we just watched that too. And his like black dress or whatever he's wearing. It's so good. David, we're here to get you. You've been missing. He's like, I texted Alexis. David.

busy oh my god sits creek is just a beautiful beautiful well done show i love that the whole levy family is involved in it too i just i know levy levy fuck eugene i don't know oh my god it's everyone it's like dad i know let's get eugene on the show can eugene come that's like a dream guest see those those seats we'll put we'll put you both right there eugene come

Come on. I'll take the floor. You know who I really want to get on? I would actually cry if you guys didn't let me be here. Lauren can be on the floor over there. I'll be on the floor over here. Yeah, you guys can come. You can come. Okay. You know who I really want to get right now though? Who? Dakota Johnson. Is there something? Is a movie coming out? She's got a movie coming out with Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans and like they're on their press tour right now and like

Let me tell you about chemistry. I literally thought you were talking about fanning. So I was like, this makes more sense. I have seen those previews. Her PR clips are so funny. Her and Pedro were like talking about like injuries on the job. And she's like, she starts cracking up. She's like, I have been injured. And she's like, I got whiplash on 50 shades. Oh. And it's just, it's funny. It's funny. I...

Have been listening to Coldplay. Okay. That's all. The scientist is a bop. Sorry. No, I didn't know. Isn't one of the leads dating her or used to be dating her? I think they just broke up. So I think I saw a clip of them being like,

Oh, their breakup. So sad. And then all of a sudden I'm listening to Coldplay and I'm realizing I'm like, why am I listening? Oh, I started putting it together backwards. So everything's connected. You know, it's the world is a small place. Okay. Moving on to this next one. Oh, buckle up for this one, you guys. It's not good. What?

What? What did I miss? Was that too far? Should I have stopped? Guys, I've been listening to Coldplay. I had no idea where you were going with it. That's all. All right. Let's go on to the story. I mean, at least you eventually tied it in. But at first I was like, dude, what in the hell is that? What do you mean? Oh, my God. I kind of wanted to just end it there. It would have been really good.

Oh my god, that was so fun. That was so fun. You know what's not fun? This next one's not fun. Oh no.

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This is also coming from our Too Hot Takes subreddit, 6daysold, titled, Am I overreacting for being uncomfortable with my dad's new shirt? My, 19 female, dad, 45 male, is weird. Recent years, he's gotten into golfing with some of his camping friends and is starting to get pretty serious about it.

Last year, him and his friend bought some Titleist gear and then shortly after that got a hat in the same Titleist font that says titties. I actually thought this hat was super funny and would steal it all the time. Well, the other day I came home from work and my mom asked if I've seen dad's new golfing shirt on the table.

I hadn't, so I go out there to look and he's gone a happy Gilmore jersey and a polo shirt that was filled with various sex positions. He had both of these proudly displaying on our dining room table. I was really grossed out. My mom then told me that my little sister, 11 female, had seen the shirt too.

Mom asked her if she knew what it was, and my sister responded, quote, I probably shouldn't know, and walked away. I told her that it was gross, inappropriate, and that it shouldn't have been left out for my sister to see. She responded by telling me that she thinks golfers have a high sex drive, and that is funny, and just what golfers do.

Wait, this is the mom saying that? Mm-hmm. Okay. All of my parents' friends, ages 43 plus, think it is hilarious and are excited for him to wear it. All of my friends, ages 18 to 21, all think that it is inappropriate and isn't something a dad with a little one should proudly wear, especially in a campground full of young kids.

My mom says I'm overreacting and that it's not that big of a deal. I know he's a grown adult who can wear literally whatever he wants. He has a shirt of a stick figure humping the words, fuck your feelings. But for some reason, this shirt is bothering me. And my friends have come up with some creative ideas on how we can ruin it. So really, am I overreacting over this shirt?

I think you guys will be able to speak to this since you chose your wedding stamps very specifically. Hey, we did not. Did you get a crane? You didn't give me a crane. Well, I'm going to give you a crane when we get back to our house. Anyone who has two. I don't know if I want a crane. They don't look like that. Anyone that has two eyes that can see straight and they work perfectly.

Even with one eye, you can tell it's not two birds. Wait, I'm sorry. Can you tell how far something is from you? Is this a sensitive subject? I'm sorry. I wouldn't have brought it up. I thought it was something we laugh about. If anyone actually thinks that, I don't think you should be driving because you clearly cannot tell how far something is from something else. Oh, it's depth perception. But have you seen the colorblind girlies on TikTok? No.

Oh, my God, you guys. This girl is crashing out over her couch. Oh, I saw like a video talking about that, but not the video. Yeah. So this girl thought her couch was blue. And so she showed a video of her couch.

Her couch is gray, gray, gray, gray. Wow. And so she's just finding out that she's colorblind. And then multiple other women are now posting their couches. And this woman is like, she's like, I always fight people about this. So I figured I'd post it. Is my couch brown? Her couch is red. Whoa. Her couch is really red. Can I tangent from your tangent really quick? Yeah. Really quick.

Most people would look at this cup and call it red. But what if I see this cup as my purple at the end of the rainbow? I see this directly as purple, but I know purple is red. And I see the world totally different from all you guys. When the light turns, I actually see the color purple, but I say, oh, I'm at a red light because I've learned that color to be called red. That's what colorblind people do every day. But you never know. How would you ever know that you're not looking at the same color and you just know it as a different name?

I know that wasn't math, but it felt like a little bit too much math for me. Okay, we can get back to it because I don't want to pull away too far. Yeah. No, I loved it. Yeah. I get what you're saying, but like it's hurting my brain. Yeah. No, the stamps are wedding stamps if you missed that episode. Appear to have two cranes having sex, but I don't— Making love. Making love.

It would never be on a stamp. The odd thing was it is a stamp for animal conservation. So therefore. I mean, I support the reproductive rights of animals, okay? But there's a foreground and a background and clearly one crane is in the background and one is in the foreground. I'll try to remember to insert another picture here of them. But yeah, they're not doing that. It's a beautiful stamp.

Here is the picture of this man's shirt. You know, it's not as explicit as I thought it was going to be. Like, it's kind of sneaky. It's like the symbols you see when you go to the bathroom. But doing stuff. I mean, there's some wild positions. That right there, the woman with her legs up and a guy going down on her. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Interesting picture.

Like doggy, but like doggy from a missionary. A lot of standing situations. A lot of standing. Do you remember I bought a dice that looked exactly like that when we were in Prague as an intention to give to a friend is like a funny joke. No, sex dice are great. Yeah, that's nice. It's like when things are cooling down, you just roll the dice and here we go. Helps keep the creativity alive. Yeah, I just, I thought it would be really funny and, um,

Yeah, I don't know if she ever actually used it. I think it's probably just a prop, but it's fine. We should call and ask. Phone a friend. Yeah, phone a friend. What I'm seeing here is just a guy that's never grown up. Yeah. I like a joke. I think they're mainly this shirt could be worn on a bachelor trip where you're going golfing. Yeah, exactly. There's a time and a place when you're a single guy or you're having a midlife crisis. You just had a divorce and you're just out with friends on the boat. But-

Like putting it on your table for your 11-year-old daughter to see? No, calling the 11-year-old over. Like A, you've never grown up. You're grossly immature. Your wife is kind of living on Pluto. And I don't know. You're kind of beyond help at this point. Yeah. See, I feel for...

The 11 year old. Because 18 year old. It is inappropriate. 18 to 21. It's annoying. It's weird that your parents are doing this. But you're at a point where it's like.

it's not going to have, hopefully it's not going to have any adverse effects on you. Yeah. But for an 11 year old, it's just like, and the 11 year old is more mature. It's weird when you're more mature than your parents to say, I probably shouldn't know. I probably shouldn't look at this. Yeah. You're already understanding that your parents are immature and have this weird sense of comfortability around sexuality with you.

that you're already, you already know, oh, I probably shouldn't because this clearly isn't the first time. Yeah, no, it's, it felt a little gross to call the 11 year old over and be like, look at dad. Sure. I'm so proud. Like, what the fuck is that about? You know what energy it's giving? It's giving the same energy as maybe that. But Justin and I had this story a couple episodes ago where this mom was sending her son, her only fans link. Oh,

And his mom sent him nudes, essentially. Spread Eagle. And a lot of people were calling it out as like covert grooming or covert. I'm forgetting the word right now. It's not coming to me. And that's almost what this is giving. It's almost like you're indecently exposing your children to things.

It's just weird. It's not normal to make your 11-year-old come look at this shirt. And in the similar vein, when she'd bring home the sex toys. Yeah, the mom would bring home sex toys for her kids to play with. That is so messed up. It's giving the same energy. And then she'd be like, did you use it?

Did you try it? Yeah. What was it like? She'd give him condoms and be like, does she like condoms? What kind does she like? It was a crazy episode. What episode was that in? Because it was the beginning of an episode with someone and then you finished the end with me. It was a Michaela episode and it's at the end. No, it was Efron.

It was the Dylan Efron episode. It's at the end of that. I watched some of that. I think it's Michaela. I don't know. I'll put it in the description. He seems like a homie. Yeah, he's chill. He reads the same books as me. He's chill. That's awesome. Yeah, Dylan's cool. What are your thoughts on this one, though?

I don't think... I think that it would be a funny shirt seeing what I just saw because it's so small that it looks more like a pattern and then it's not until you get close up. So it's kind of more of like an optical illusion shirt where it's like a gotcha moment. I don't think you need to go through like a midlife crisis or anything to wear that shirt like with your homies and like just laugh about it. But like adults only. I don't like that to involve...

minors in that and try to make jokes about that when like at 11, it's like, that's not, I don't think how people want to learn about that part of life. It's not the birds and the bee conversation you want to have yet. Yeah. So I think that's in that aspect. I think it's like irresponsible and really weird. But like the shirt in general, like I think that if somebody were to wear that just like in an appropriate setting, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. That's why honestly I'm more concerned with the mom.

Like it's more weird with the mom. Because the dad is just being like, oh, I like sex stuff. But the mom is like, hey, go look at that. If you have any questions, let me know. Do you know what it is? Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. I mean, I think there's ways –

Because it is natural for kids to ask questions, but it's like the kid's not asking the question. It's not like you watched a show and the kids saw two adults, you know, making out and then leading to a room. And it's like, well, what is that? Like, this was really kind of awkward. I don't know. I don't know. Top comment on this one.

Golfers have a high sex drive is a new one. And honestly, that's odd.

What's odd? Golfers have a high sex drive for the mom to say that. That's why your dad has this sex shirt. Yeah, that's golfers just want to fuck. OK, no, that's odd. I thought you were trying to say that comment in itself is odd. Like and I was I was just thinking about that time where we had an episode where I made a joke about golfers actually being out.

being nefarious and i'm like i'm just kidding i don't want to give anyone anxiety about that and then a bunch of people in the comments were talking about how there's actually like statistics around that it's golfers and pilots we looked it up we did look it up yeah and i was like oh shit i forgot about that someone responds to that one golfers have a high sex drive someone should have informed my ex-boyfriend what apparently he was not

Uh, high sex driver. Oh, that's why he's an ex. Yeah. It would be totally fine if he was just wearing it around with his buddies. It got weird when you said your mom already showed it to your 11 year old little sister and then to be wearing it around other children. It is inappropriate to use around children, period. Not overreacting.

Just point to a few of the images on the shirt and say, I've tried this position, this one, this one too. And yeah, I want to try this one now. You'll never see that shirt again. And this is what I was telling you earlier, Lauren. That's so funny. There's a subreddit I've read a story from in the past. It's called Traumatize Them Back. And I think there are moments in life where we need to start traumatizing people back again.

When it's justified. When you're going about your day and people are, you know, getting in your business and being rude and mean to you, traumatize them back. I'm going to say, would you please give us an example? I can. Nice. Let's hear it. So strike up a conversation of someone that really annoys you, okay, for whatever reason, or that really fucks you over. Become their friend. Say, hey, I'd love to connect some time. Either get an email or a phone number and you've got all you need.

Oh, because you're going to put spam on them? There's a lot of things you can do with an email or phone number. And a lot of times people won't give you their junk mail. A lot of times for a personal connection, they won't give you their junk email. They'll give you like the one they actually see. Blow that thing up. It's like people that sign their X's up for Scientology. Oh.

I haven't heard that one, but I do know somebody. I know someone who signed like her ex up with like a bunch of like like how to be a better man type of like ads. That's good. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm just getting a thought. Honestly, do you think they're swingers?

Do you think they're swingers? There's this mention of campground and golfers have a high sex drive. This is kind of giving swingers. No? No, but the shirt didn't have a pineapple on it. I wouldn't be surprised. Hey, OP, you're a listener. You're on our subreddit. Are there pineapples around? Pineapples? Upside down. They're going to a campground with all these other young people and they're all of a sudden getting into golfing. But there's kids there.

swingers can still have children. They just don't, you know, they go to someone else's camp. You don't bring the kids to the place you're swinging. The kids go to sleep and then they go to a swingers tent. You're right, Morgan. Or the swing set. This sounds like a community campground. Everyone shows up every summer and it's a fuck fest. Whoa. What a word. Huh.

Okay. It's giving swingers. OP did respond to that comment, though, the traumatize them comment, like tell them you want to try all those positions. And OP did respond, I'm going to do exactly this. Nice. I love that. I would like an update, OP. Thank you. Thank you very much. We are going to be moving along, though, at this time, but thank you for posting. Okay, customer service, Morgan. I'm so good at customer service.

I've wanted to go be a server again like I miss serving I miss working at Lululemon like I miss interacting with people I at my last job I actually wanted to on the weekends like become a server again just one day a week but one day a week

Nice little wine bar. Yes, that'd be great. A little wine bar, you know, happy people coming in, getting a glass of wine, maybe some Mediterranean food. Oh, I didn't know that was your thing. My bad. More of like a tacos and tapas. Ooh, yeah. I'll whip out some margaritas. Nice. Yeah, same. Okay, this next one. This is coming from r slash relationship advice. It is 12 days old now.

Titled, my 27 male fiancé, 29 female, was accused by her friend slash maid of honor, 29 female, of stepping out on me. My fiancé claims she's trying to sabotage our relationship. I'm lost and questioning everything. How do I move forward? I, oh God, I hate stories like this.

My 27 male relationship with my fiance, 29 female, has kind of blown up. I never felt this unsure in our relationship. I'm in need of outside perspectives. For context, we're college sweethearts. For orientation, I was touring campus and she was my group's tour guide. That's how we met. She's my first love and best friend. Now we're in the height of wedding planning.

About a couple of years ago, we had a rough patch with her shutting down and pushing me away. She wanted to take a break so she could find herself again. I don't believe in breaks. I wanted to work through it together. But her mind was made up, so I agreed. We established boundaries for the break. We wouldn't see other people. We were to have checkups about where we were emotionally. The goal was to reinforce our foundation.

The break was only a month. We bounced back stronger, but it's still a sore spot. The break was the most distant we'd ever been, and the experience highlighted why I'm against it. Recently, my fiancé had a bad falling out with a mutual friend slash maid of honor, 29 female, who all called Joss for clarity. Some nasty stuff was said, and Joss accused my fiancé of being a bridezilla and an even worse friend.

I hoped the rift between them would mend because they were close for a long time. They were like sisters. But my fiancé kicked Joss out of the wedding and uninvited her. The damage seemed to be done for both. The other day, Joss reached out to me and said that my fiancé wasn't being completely truthful. She revealed not only did my fiancé see other guys during the break, but also hooked up with someone on their annual girls' trip.

She gave the guy's name, but I don't know who he is.

On the trip, my fiancé's group linked up with another they clicked with. Joss said it was clear that the guy had an eye for my fiancé, and eventually she and he began wandering off. My fiancé ignored Joss's attempts at talking her down. It was a lot to take in. My initial instinct was to shut Joss down. Up until this point, I trusted my fiancé fully, but I couldn't overlook how much Joss's account matched my doubts from back then.

Like I said, we were the most distant during our break. It wasn't on my part. There were times she was AWOL on our checkups. During the girls' trip that fell on our break, she went radio silent in a way she wasn't on previous trips.

There was truth to linking up with another group because my fiance told me about it. She's still casually in touch with some of them. Right after the trip, she was gung-ho on calling the break off, how it was a mistake, and that she was in a better headspace.

Joss claimed this was part of her falling out. She was pushing my fiancé to come clean with me before the wedding. She felt I deserved to know and wish she would have said something sooner. I didn't say much. I was too numb to really feel anything.

I initially didn't confront my fiancé. I was trying to process. But she could tell something was wrong and kept asking. When I did confront her, she was a whirlwind of emotions. She mostly ranted about Joss, but I told her this was her chance to tell her own story. She asked if I'd hear her out. I promised I would.

She confessed to seeing other guys during the break, but claims nothing happened. She also denies ever hooking up with anyone on the trip. I asked her why Joss would tell the truth about her seeing the other guys, which alone thoroughly broke our boundaries, but make up an elaborate lie about her cheating on the trip. She insists that Joss is trying to sabotage our relationship. She said the other guys meant nothing and I'm the one she was in love with,

It was like she wanted me to be grateful for choosing me. She promised to do anything to regain my trust. She said we're starting our lives together and I shouldn't let Joss come between us. I wasn't very receptive to her. We fought and I told her I needed to think. Ever since, she's been pouring on so much affection. She still swears she never hooked up with anyone on the girls' trip and that Joss is trying to sabotage.

But I can't shake the possibility that Joss is telling the truth.

All of this has blown up while we're in the middle of wedding planning. Invites already delivered, venue booked, catering being arranged, suits, dresses, everything. I feel so numb. I'm in love with my fiance. She's my best friend. It feels wrong to doubt her, but I'm questioning everything. Even myself. I don't know what to believe anymore. I feel like an idiot. How do I move forward for myself and my relationship?

Well, it was a girls party. Talk to the other girls. There's more than just Joss there. Yeah. And this might be bad because there are weird people out there that do weird things for weird reasons. But I feel like if anyone came up to me and said that my boyfriend cheated on me, I'd be like, OK, I believe you. Like even if it's like the most loyal, trustworthy person in the entire world.

I don't know why in my head I'm like, I can't imagine people go out of their way to tell someone that. And that's probably wrong to think that because I know there's people out there that do try to sabotage and do crazy things. But I feel like in my mind, I'd be like, OK, like, I mean, this happened to me. Do you remember our spring break trip to Panama City Beach, Florida? Oh, my God. Yeah. On that trip.

About halfway through, my boyfriend at the time started ignoring me. And I was leaving from Florida to go up to Canada where he lived to go spend the rest of spring break with him. And halfway through the trip, he started ignoring me.

And I was like, what is going on? Like, what is going on? Like, is he okay? Is he alive? Like, what's happening? It turns out my best friend at the time who was on the trip with us told him that I cheated on him. Lauren was there. Didn't happen. I ended every single night eating Hot Pockets in one of the bunk beds at the Holiday Inn.

Panama City Beach like falling on a budget is what it was called actually yeah like like they actually had a name for it sorry go on yeah no and so it's just like I don't know what her motive was but I have had someone do this to me yeah I forgot about that I guess you're right she was like in love with him maybe um she there was something there she always tried to like

imply that they had more of a relationship than they did. It was really weird. And I met him because of her. Like, we went to a party and he was there. But I don't know. So it's like, it would be tragic. This would be like,

us, all of us here, and you going to Justin and being like, Morgan cheated on you. And Justin being like, why would Lauren lie? I've known Lauren as long as I've known Morgan. This is her best friend. Lauren's been my biggest champion. And that's the thing. This would be a mind-altering... Yeah. I don't know what you would do. This is a really complicated, triple-stacked shit sandwich. That's why I think...

unfortunately we need to call some people into question we need to let's go full trial yeah literally i girlfriend number one to the stage like or what is it honestly bring out mori bring out mori do do the show oh yeah you know you guys put that in a better perspective i guess i was just thinking about it from no but

Justin's been huffing and puffing the whole story. Like, I could feel his anguish while I was reading. So do you think that she was lying? Which one do you think is lying? I don't know. And that's why I hate stories like this, because it's like Austin land.

And nothing gets me more stressed and anxious than some shit like that. Forgot about that. I watched that and thought it was going to be traumatic. It's like a cute movie. It's literally a rom-com. Yeah. No, it is not. That is the worst rom-com in the world. It's a really good movie, actually. It's very cute. Absolutely. Well, sure, it can be a good movie. But what happens in it makes me ill. Okay. It would be like you guys turning to me right now and being like,

Yeah, we were never ever this to you. This show isn't real.

This relationship isn't real. You've been played the whole time. It's like how Ronald felt in the... No, that... I think... Again, I think what you were thinking about is the Truman Show. Like that... That's weird. That is bad. Austin Land is like just super... It's the same shit, all right? It's the same shit. But what I think... She knew she was going to the land of make-believe. Without giving anything away. Yeah, I'm like... No, it's fucked up. You can't do that to somebody. I know.

I need everyone in this family, this two outtakes family to watch Austin Land. And give us your thoughts on this. We would literally do a poll. Yeah, please. I think that this comes down ultimately to a gut decision. And also the decision that if it happened or if it didn't, does that drastically change the future? You were on a break. Yes, you set standards. You know, we're way beyond that.

We're getting married. Does that change your love and your outlook for the future with this person? Because that's what it's going to come down to. Unless you can get a full crazy trial together and get everyone to take the stand and really get all the facts or even a little bit more information, you're really truly never going to know. It's one person's word against another. One person who definitely has a reason to try and take this person down.

But the thing that got me is the fact that then they were like, well, it started over the fact of I was wanting her to confess before the wedding. And it's like, I get how that could be a play. But at the same time, that doesn't feel accurate for me, though. I know. But there's just some really good.

It's like two lawyers going back and forth in this. Yeah. And I feel like you're never truly going to know. So what does your gut say? Because my gut in the past has been right. And when someone was definitely cheating on me, I was correct. And it was a gut feeling. It came from no direct source. It came from a gut feeling. Yeah. So I think...

When all else fails, that's what you have to go with. And once you make that decision, you stick with it and you go forward and that's the choice you made. Yeah. But there's no going forward and choosing to get married and then continually bringing this up. It's you decide now. No. And I think like it's hard because like I've been on girls trips where like

you combine groups of people, right? There's a guy's group on a girl's trip. There's a girl's group on a group trip. And like, if your girlfriends are then hooking up with the other guys, you could become friends with one of the guys and like wander off. And like, you're wandering off because everyone else is hooking up. But like, you're not necessarily doing anything bad. You know what I mean? Totally. Like, there's been trips. I forget where it was. But I feel like we did a girl's trip somewhere. And there were like, a group of guys and like,

A lot of the girls were single and some of the guys were single. And so like we kept like meeting up with them. I don't know if it was like Mexico for Alejandro's birthday or where it was, but like, oh, I feel like there's been a trip like that. And it's like you are going to talk to someone because your friends are engaged with their friends. You're not going to sit there and twiddle your thumbs. Right. But it doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to make out with him. Totally. Yeah. And so like there is, you know, maybe something there where like to me, like,

This doesn't feel like Joss trying to do a good deed and be like, you need to come clean before the wedding. This feels like Joss being hurt and throwing one last dart at the board, twisting the knife like I'm going to get even whatever. Like, I'm curious what their fallout was really over. Yeah. And truly, was it over this?

I don't know. And does Joss really want him in the end? Does she want them to split up because she's obsessed with him? Because we've seen that before. We have. And I literally just saw a TikTok today where

And it was like, tell me the craziest thing your friend has done to you or like ex-friend has done to you. And there was someone, I think it was like honestly the top comment. And I'm pretty sure she even like name dropped her. She literally did do like Melissa last name. It was like my ex-friend tried to lie to my husband, say I cheated because she wanted to be with him. Like I just saw this video today. That's so nuts. I feel...

I don't know why I don't even...

think that's a possibility like i just because who would want to start a relationship off of like literally the worst lie like lying about someone's cheating to get with someone like you were building a relationship off of like the most i don't know i just can't imagine someone wanting to do that but like you're right there are people that do that yeah maybe they think it's the one it's not a great way to get there but no i'm

You never know. People are nuts. I know. Let's get into the comments on this one. So top comment, they quote OP, we established boundaries for the break. We wouldn't see other people.

Yeah.

Next one down. I was prepared to call out the friend for being jealous, but after reading it all, I think she's telling the truth. See, that's why this... You know. I think your fiance is trickling out the truth to you. She's only telling you what she thinks you will forgive. She's lied and then realized she had to tell you a little bit. She's been lying since you got back together. Contact the other women that went on the trip and ask them as well.

Check her phone for the messages between the group at that time. Get tested. OP responds, I'm considering reaching out to the other women. I don't know how open they'll be about it. I get along with them, but they're more of my fiance's friends. She just puts them in a group chat. Hi, ladies. And they've largely stayed out of the falling out.

Either way, he doesn't trust her at this point. Like bottom line, he doesn't trust her and his gut is saying something's a little off. So whether it's show me your messages, but again, at that point, you're going to have a really big hill to climb to get back to that trust. And the friends are going to back her up, most likely. You know, it's friends are going to be a stronger bond over unless there's someone that's

you know wants to do right yeah but more often than not i feel like people have their friends back and you're not you're not going to be satisfied with their answers because they'll probably all come in mixed and you'll still you'll be even more confused i know that's actually such a point i don't think i've thought about is like like if morgan did something and then like

And then you asked me, did Morgan do something? Right. I would just like do like a Homer Simpson and like go into the bush. I'd be like, oh my God. I will say, I think, sorry. I think I was going to say, I think you would tell me.

I've never thought about that. So I actually like don't know what my like reaction would be. I know, but I just, you as a person, I feel like you would because you're a person that's out there for the greater good of people and everyone. So I feel like you would do it for the good of me, but also in a way where you wouldn't ruin your relationship with Morgan. But I feel like that's just who you are. I feel like if it were me,

I would also like tell you like something happened. Like I would I don't think I would ever put my friend in that position to lie like that. Like if something happened, I would tell you I'd be like, yeah, like whatever. Like it would be fucking terrible. But an example I know is like someone who made out with someone at their bachelorette trip because they got blacked out.

And she did tell her fiancé. Did it create a lot of turmoil? Yeah. Did they work through it? Yeah, because she was the one that came clean. In this circumstance...

It's not the girl, the fiance coming clean. It's him finding out because of her friend and only because of a fallout. Yeah. Like friend would have kept the secret. Friend has kept the secret for how many years? So why now? So can she be trusted? You just don't know. That too. But you know what, you guys? We get an update. Oh, shit.

I don't think we're—so sometimes when we talk for a while, it makes me assume that there's not an update. Mm-hmm. So this is wild. Mm-hmm.

Thank you to everyone who reached out. It helped give me much-needed perspective. I wanted to give an update. I wanted a fuller picture before making a decision on anything with my fiancé, 29 female. I knew her friends and bridesmaids would be a lost cause. I get along with them, but they're more of my fiancé's friends, and their group runs deep. They weren't going to talk at the expense of my fiancé.

I asked Joss, 29 female, for more info and for evidence to her claims about my fiancé hooking up with someone on their girls' trip. She said my fiancé avoided talking about that particular trip, especially over text. Most of their arguments were in person, but she showed me texts from shortly after the trip where my fiancé confirmed hooking up with the guy.

She texted how, quote, it's in her rearview mirror. And she, quote, doesn't need a lecture about the past. She's focusing on the future. I knew the possibility, and my fiance already confessed to seeing other guys during our break. But I don't know, seeing those texts made it real in a way it wasn't before. In the text, she expressed regret, but it didn't make me feel better. I confronted my fiance, and I knew immediately by the look on her face.

She came clean on everything. She thought Jess deleted the texts. Around the break, we were having serious talks about marriage. She started worrying she was missing out on stuff her single friends were engaging in. During the break, she sought validation from other guys and fooled around with that guy on the girls' trip. In her own words, she had a temporary high when he chased her but felt worse about herself post-hookup.

She claims the break showed her what was important and that she wasn't missing out on anything. She was reassured we were right for each other. I hardly said anything to her. I mostly just listened. I was too numb for much else. She kept asking me to say something, but what was there for me to say? I felt her actions spoke enough for us both.

She kept apologizing for stepping out. When I asked her why she wasn't upfront with me, she said she didn't want to lose me over her biggest mistake. Her position that Joss isn't being noble hasn't changed. I told her Joss's motive doesn't matter. The truth is the truth. She asked if I could find it in myself to move past this. She said she loves me and she's fully committed. I couldn't tell her what she wanted.

I said it was best the wedding be put off and I needed some space to sort my feelings. She was against postponing and proclaimed this didn't have to define us. And she's still the same woman I wanted to marry. She asked me not to give up on us. But the same way her mind was made about the break, my mind was made on postponing. It wasn't a choice.

It wasn't so much a fight, more putting everything out there. She cried a lot. She rarely cries. It felt wrong to leave her crying. My first instinct was to comfort her, but I was too broken to fake it. I've been hurt before, but she hurt me in a way only she could. I know postponing the wedding is for the best. The reason why I didn't call it off entirely is because I'm way too much in my emotions right now. Hurt, anger, sadness, and somehow numbness.

At all possible, I try to avoid making decisions lost in emotion. I need to clear my head. I was so sure of my course and our relationship. My fiance was my partner in every sense. She was who I wanted to make a life with. Sometimes she'd act so superior about our relationship compared to those of her friends. I feel so stupid. She says she's still the same person I love. The fact is she had a secret life I knew nothing about.

I'm trying my best to understand that, but I'm at a complete loss. I'm not sure if I can move past this. All the guests have been informed of the postponement. Some questioned why, but I've been vague. I'm just too embarrassed. I feel bad for the guests too. Some with limited means already booked flights and hotels and took off work for our wedding. That's how far we were in the home stretch. In some ways, it doesn't feel like my life anymore.

We were just together, wedding planning and discussing the honeymoon. The honeymoon was a surprise destination for her, somewhere she's always wanted to visit. Now we're here. I don't know where to go or what the future holds. Thanks to everyone again for the support. It means a lot. I just like feel heartbroken for him because the thing is that she's telling him,

This one moment shouldn't define us, but it's maybe, maybe that one moment wouldn't have, but you know what does you line for years and you know what does getting caught and still line that defines the us that you're referring to. That's broken. And I don't know how, I don't know. I don't know how you build that again. Cause like personally, I don't think I would be able to like the line is what would get me if she came clean to me.

Right away, like, hey, you know, I know we said this, but something happened and I still want to be with you. And I like if you'll accept me, I would love to try again. If you won't, I understand. Then you gave him a chance to think about it and know you and make a decision for himself. But instead, you lied and you faked you faked it, not knowing if he would even want to be with you if he knew that fact. And that's not how people should get married.

Well, and it's interesting because of the timing where, you know, you could say, well, you should address this separate from the wedding, but the wedding is what is really putting it all in perspective at the same time. Because I mean, people book their flights. I mean, we're here. And that's why it feels like to me, yes, it'd be a lot to take in and it's a lot to process, but almost I feel that the decision to postpone the wedding is

was sort of his decision on the relationship. It feels like that's where we're headed. I think that's what you're kind of getting at too. Yeah. Is when you decided to postpone that it's not even an option, that's what's happening. It feels kind of like that's where we're headed overall. It's the line multiple times. Me personally, like everyone, if they're going to do a break, you can decide your own boundaries, right? But I think if you're going to do a break, you need to be broken up.

Like, I think the more boundaries you have, the more set up for failure you are on a break. I think like the main boundary should be we don't talk. Yeah. For X amount of time. You're going to do you live your life. Find yourself. I'm going to do me live my life. Find myself. We're going to come back together. Let's see after three months where we're at. Did you miss me? Do you love me? Do you want a future with us? Or did you find yourself? Are you happier? Do you want to do this? And like,

The breaks that I've seen be successful, they don't put all these rules in place because if someone wants a break, they're missing something. They're looking for something. And a lot of times they find it through experiencing life and other people and whatever. My brother and his now wife of, oh gosh, 10 years. They've been together though since like 17 on and off. They took a solid break.

Amy saw other people. Matt saw other people like they, Amy went to grad school in Florida. Like they were done and they have the most amazing life because they did that. That's why it's so much stronger because there's no what ifs. They fully determined that like, you are who I want. I'm going to make sacrifices for you going forward. And,

You know, she wanted a break and OP was like, I don't do breaks. I don't do breaks. I'm not blaming him. I'm not blaming him by any means. I'm just saying in general, like, yeah, it's the line though, right? Like if she would have came back from the break and been like, you know what? I wasn't honest about why I wanted this break. I, I felt like I was missing out, but this break, it confirmed how right you are, how much I love you.

I'm hoping you still want to proceed and have a future with me. But like this was the reality. Like I did hook up with someone else. When you go then into the future transparently versus lying and then Joss comes clean and Joss says she cheated on you. And OP's like, I didn't hook up with anyone. I swear we hung out.

You just lied again. Yeah, exactly. That was your chance. You lost trust doubly because when confronted with a lie, you'll double down versus come clean. Yeah.

You have no credibility now. How does anyone proceed forward with you? How can he trust you moving forward on anything? He can't. He can't. When he could see... When he was so twisted in his mind and his stomach, like, sick for days, weeks, whatever it was, not knowing what to believe, and you were just trying to get away with your lie to, like, save yourself at, like, his expense. Like, it's...

How do you trust someone after that? I would have a very hard time. It's just like Austin land. I mean, it's, it's, it's right there. It's the same, same thing. Exactly. Everything you're saying, Lauren, you're basically describing Austin land. I think it might be time to just go hook up with Joss.

You know what? I think this feels like a little bit of a petty revenge. I'm kidding. You know what? This show is called Two Hot Takes. Once in a while, we need to have a hot take out there. So, you know, I applaud that...

That strategy. You want some petty revenge? Hey, have it. You guys, this is about to get really fucking crazy. I mean, a lot of times I say things to see how you guys will respond. We know that we understand. It's okay. So you guys, we have a problem.

Someone commented to OP on his post this update and said, OP, she wrote in confessions and deleted it. Apparently, it's way worse than you even know. See if you can find the confession. I did not fucking know this existed. I'm sitting over here now having a panic attack because I'm like, where is it? Can we find it? So OP goes a post and this person included a screenshot of

of a comment of a summary of the post and OP goes, are there screenshots of the deleted post? And someone goes, would it really change the fact she cheated, refuses to call it cheating, and you would have known none of it if it had not been for Joss? And the person who said there's a post OP goes, I wasn't able to find it, unfortunately, just had to go off what the person was saying. I'm sorry, brother.

I feel like I read that in Paul Kogan's voice. Sorry, brother. But I don't know if it should really change anything. If you want a deep dive, you can ask everyone who responded what was said. I'm sure you can get a clearer picture. And then they link the post. Okay. So the post is titled, I ruined my own wedding before it happened. And it's deleted, of course. Of course. Reddit couple over there.

I wonder if they know that they're both on Reddit. So here's what I think happened. I think she knew OP posted to Reddit. I think she was hoping he would see her post and then maybe like...

Oh my God, she is remorseful. But I thought it was way worse than how she described it. I'm not sure. Someone three days ago replied to OP and did have a copy of the text of the post. Whoa. So here we go. Nice. Here we go. Y'all are crazy out there. Don't do anything crazy online. Someone will have a copy. I cannot get comfortable in this chair today. I'm just like so unsettled by the stories, by this post. Ugh.

So, text of the post. There's no easy way to say this, and honestly, I don't even know why I'm writing it here. Maybe because I can't say it out loud without falling apart. I was supposed to be getting married this fall, to the love of my life. We met in college. He was quiet and kind, always too good at making me feel seen when I didn't even know I was invisible.

He brought me coffee during midterms and held me when my dad got sick. He was...steady in every way that mattered. But a year and a half ago, I asked for a break. I told him it was about needing to find myself, but the truth is I was spiraling. I was overwhelmed, suffocated under the pressure of a life that felt too perfect, too soon.

I thought maybe if I pulled away, I'd miss him and it would reset something inside of me. Instead, I made the biggest mistake of my life.

We had rules for the break. No dating, no hookups, check-ins every week. I broke every single one. I didn't mean to, not at first. It started small, late-night texts with a guy I met through a friend, drinks that turned into kisses, kisses that turned into guilt and silence. Then came a girls' trip. That's where I crossed a line I can't uncross. It wasn't love. It wasn't anything. It was a moment I wish I could tear out of time and burn.

But I did it. I slept with someone else. I came home and buried it. Told myself it didn't count because we were on a break. But that's a lie I wrapped around myself so tightly, I stopped recognizing my own reflection. And I never told him. It just slid back in his arms like nothing happened. I told him I was better. That I'd found clarity.

What I really found was fear of losing him, of telling the truth, and watching his face break. It almost worked until last week. My maid of honor, well, ex-maid of honor now, told him. She said I was lying, said he deserved to know. I called her a traitor, accused her of jealousy, of meddling. But deep down, I knew she was right.

Now he looks at me like I'm someone else, and maybe I am. I keep trying to explain it, to apologize, to say that I love him and always have. But what does love mean when I shattered the one thing that held us together? Trust.

I want to marry him. I want the life we planned. But I also know I made a choice, and that choice might have destroyed the only real thing I've ever had. I don't know if he'll stay. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. But I had to say it. Somewhere. Because carrying this lie any longer feels like dragging a body I buried myself. So yeah, that is apparently...

her side of things account is zoe orbit 15 it has been suspended but could be the other side of this it sounds very fitting it does but it there's nothing new yeah there's not any i didn't learn a single thing no it could be someone who read op's post and is posting it to stir the pot and

It is interesting OP to be like post. Do you have a copy of the deleted thing? Yeah. You know, I could see someone who saw their fiance's post and was like, I need he's on Reddit. Maybe he'll see this. Things go viral all the time these days. Like you guys, how crazy have we been in the past with an ex-boyfriend and what we post on our Instagram story in hopes that they'll see it or ex-girlfriend and ex like

You will put crazy stuff out on social media to get a feeler, to get a response on your story because you're clinging for any hope they see it and come back, miss you, respond, engage. Like,

We've all been there, right? Oh, we've all done that. Yeah. You post, you post something with a coded message in it. Yeah. For one person to see. That's what I'm saying. I just like, I want to tell this story because it was like one of the craziest things ever, but I was head over heels for this guy in high school and he was in college and

I was a senior. He's a freshman. And I it didn't work out. And I was crushed. And I posted on Facebook this quote. It was something along the lines of everything has a time and place. I know we'll see each other again. Like something like cryptic and emotional. Like, I don't know. Yeah. And I cannot make this up.

He had deleted Facebook and deleted everything. Like I didn't have his number. I didn't have any contact to him. And it was like seven years later. And what? Yes. Seven years later. Yeah. And I got this memory from my Facebook that said this quote and I laughed at myself. I'm like, oh, God, I was so dramatic. Like I just was so crazy about him.

And hoping he would see that and it would like spark something in him. And anyway, like a couple of days later, actually, I think it was the same day. I get a Facebook message request from him and he said, I moved to L.A. Do you want to get together? What are the odds? I know. Well, so then in my head, I'm thinking he must have somehow still had that Facebook that he deleted and got like a memory notification somehow. Yeah.

Just because it's so weird of timing. Because it's so weird. And so I got together with him. And finally, at the end of our conversation, I brought it up. I'm like, did you see this memory? And there's no way. Like his face was shook. Like he was like, I haven't had Facebook for X amount of years. He's like, I moved to California. I was like looking. Basically, I don't know how he explained it, but it was just the crazy.

craziest moment. And so I feel like that's like the only time I can really share this right now. But what you're, what you said is so accurate is that we do post things sometimes when we're hurting in hopes that somebody that we're hurting will see it and it'll spark something in them and maybe they'll change their mind. Cause at the time he was like, I'm in college, you're in high school. And I'm like, but change your mind. Literally. I, I, I could see this being a tactic. Yeah.

I could. I don't know. OP really hasn't said much else after that. Just thanking people for bringing it to his attention. I'll look into it. But I mean, it doesn't really change much, does it? No. She's remorseful, maybe. If it is her, she's posting, sharing her side. But like, again, kind of like Justin said, it's no info. It's not

I've completely ruined my, I mean, in a sense it is, I've ruined my life. I ruined my wedding before it even happened. But it's interesting the title was, I ruined my wedding before it even happened. Not, I broke the person I love. Because I think it's about the wedding. But it's, I think that's because it's postponed for now. That's what my assumption was. And I'd probably click on that title more than the latter. But like, if you're... You know, like, it's a good title.

I'm a little click baiter over there. Okay. Okay. I don't know. This is interesting. I, do you guys think it's salvageable? Do you think this is one that could be saved? Personally? No.

But for other people, they can get through those things sometimes because, you know, I know that people do that. I know that that is definitely a human reaction to be so shameful of your lie that you bury it so deep and you convince yourself it didn't happen because of how much shame you have around it, that like you've lied to yourself so many times that you don't even. So I know that that actually happens in the human experience and that people do that.

accept and get over that and continue to make things work. I personally just don't feel like I could because I'm really into honesty and I have a hard time if people are lying to me even about something silly it starts to make me question other things and that's just something that I think I need in a relationship is more of that consistency with honesty so that would be too big for me I think to get over. Yeah. Yeah anything's possible but

It's a lot. It's hard. I think they have a big, big, big, big hill to climb. But you know what? I could see it actually working. They would have to do a lot of therapy, a lot of working out of that roach motel, as relationship expert John Gottman calls it. Oh, yeah. But, you know, if she is truly remorseful and really realizes, like,

I would never forsake you in this way again. I would never hurt you in this way again. I'll do anything to fix it. It could work, but you can't have OP holding a grudge, being bitter, having resentments, you know, the scars like it would take a lot of work. But and the thing is about this, too, is that like, OK, let's say that she messes up again.

Even with therapy, let's say she does something again that she thinks might make her lose him. She might be more likely to lie because she doesn't want to lose him. Like now her motive is to not lose him. And that's like really hard to come back from because the relationship should just be about joy. Now, like if you're in a relationship where you're starting off in all this therapy, you

It can work, but it's really difficult because like now she might feel like she's on thin ice. Like, oh, crap, I forgot to take the garbage out. Like, yeah, I took it out. Don't worry about it. But then like that type of thing. And then she's in her head. She's like, oh, shit, if he knows that I lied, then he would leave me because I'm on thin ice. I just think it's such a hard thing.

thing to deal with. I know people can get through it, but it's so difficult. Let us know what you guys think about this one. I'm very curious all your thoughts. I got to move along. We got to get through them. So this next one is coming from Am I Overreacting? Titled, Am I Overreacting for Getting Upset My Dad Cropped My Wife Out of Our Baby Announcement Post?

Oh, gosh. What's going on here? We just had our first baby. My wife, 30 female, and I, 31 male, took a picture together holding the baby for the official announcement. I sent it to my parents and said they could share it. My dad posted a cropped version with just me and the baby. Oh.

When my wife noticed, she asked if it was a mistake. I called my dad and he said, quote, well, I figured people only care about the bloodline stuff anyways. Oh, okay. My wife is not white for context. Oh, no, no. I am. She was devastated. Oh, gosh. What a jerk. I told him that was disrespectful and racist. He said I was making drama over a photo.

My mom is saying he meant no harm and I'm blowing it up, but it doesn't feel like just a photo. Am I the asshole for making a big deal of this? Absolutely not. This was going to be a funny story. I thought there was some type of like stupid little drama, but if it does have something to do with race, that's so messed up. Yeah. And even if it doesn't, it's still messed up. Like on any level, it's just like why...

Why? No, I mean, we've read so many stories where a parent has a problem with someone's partner and that can come from, from who knows what place for a variety of reasons. If there's something that happened in the past where it's, it's in a strange relationship.

But that's not the case here. No. Because that would have been talked about. And honestly, when I first read this one, I did not read the whole thing. I only read the title. Yeah. I was on the same line. I'm like, oh, he just must not like the wife. But if race does come into this, like, that does make it 10 times worse. Like, you have a very clear message from your dad that, like, he does not like your wife. He does not approve. And...

He's racist. Yeah. And so honestly, you got to cut him out. I don't think you're overreacting at all. I think bare minimum is he gets cut out. He doesn't deserve to know your child if that's how he feels about that child's mother. Literally. No. You lost your privileges. So crazy. Bye. I thought it was going to be something like... I thought it was going to be petty as fuck. Yeah, I thought it was going to be like...

Well, I was going to play it off like it was an accident because I'm older and bad with technology. But really what happened is your mom was mad because she didn't share her cupcake recipe and she said we shouldn't post her until she shares the cupcake. Like I thought it was going to be something like silly like that. So do we have more context or what's going on over there? So it is three days old now.

6.2k upvotes in am i overreacting so it's getting a decent amount of traction over there

Top comment. Protect your wife from the racism of your parents. What your dad did is unacceptable and your mother excusing it makes her complicit. Your wife should have a loud voice in what happens next in regards to her relationship with them. And she shouldn't be made to feel she has to decide anything right now. Childbirth is incredibly taxing in ways you can never imagine physically and emotionally. She needs time to heal.

Additionally, you both need time to bond with the baby before you try to process this foolishness. Nothing should hinder this adjustment phase.

That means the best solution may be going no contact with them for the time being. The behavior is targeting her and she should never be made to feel she has to talk to or share space with people who have shown her profound disrespect. Once you've both figured out the rhythm of your new normal, you can decide if you want to keep no contact or choose what boundaries you want in place if interaction is allowed.

No contact gives you a minute to adapt and rest, giving you much clearer heads to make decisions about the future. Well, you know, it is a big thing to cut off parents, to change a relationship dynamic and really hold a boundary. Because this was posted in Am I Overreacting? It makes me feel like if you're considering that you could potentially be in the wrong for this, that this may be a pattern, this may have happened before.

with them and that it seems the boundary has not been upheld and it is not stuck. I think we're now at a point where the boundary needs to be concrete. It needs to be set in stone. And yes, like everything the top comment said, take your time. Nothing needs to happen right this second. I mean, don't continue being all happy family with your parents, but see what

you know, the mother of your child needs in this moment and up until, and then, yeah, you have time to sort out, but definitely this is at the point where it's like boundaries here and boundaries staying. And we're not, you know, questioning if we're overreacting. I know it can be really complicated with parent-child relationships where you almost feel like, hmm,

Am I crazy? Because someone can manipulate you to feel like you're in the wrong, like you're in the wrong when obviously you're not. So I just hope that it can stick this time. Absolutely. And there's a comment here where they say, it's not just a photo when it erases someone's role in your life. Yeah.

It's not like he just won an award for some baseball game and he's holding it up and they, you know, and they cut like out the wife because they're just like, no, this is his moment. It's like it's such like a family unit moment where it's like it just doesn't even make sense to cut out the like other half. Literally the baby's here because of her, too. Like what if even if like we.

like Justin and I have a kid if his mom were to post a picture of just him and the baby like if even if it was a picture that I wasn't in and she posts just a picture of him and the baby I think if I was like postpartum I know me and I'm really sensitive like I would overanalyze that and be like

there's other pictures of me, you and our baby. Like, why am I not included in this? Like, why did you pick the one where I'm not in it? Why, why, like, why am I being excluded when this is my baby too? Yeah. Do you know what I just went through to bring this baby here? And like, maybe that's just postpartum and hormones after and like everything you're going through. But like, no, like, I think that's very valid. Like, this is your baby. You want to be included. This is a big, huge, important, incredible milestone for you guys as a family unit. And,

It should be showcased as a family unit. You can also tell when people crop pictures. Now it's just him standing awkwardly. Was it a sign or something? What did it say? Oh my gosh. How was it announced? It was just like a photo of the three of them.

Right. But so now it's like awkwardly just him. And then, you know, you can see some element like a hand or an arm or something. And it's like I've seen pictures posted where you can tell someone was cut and it's just like, oh, OK. I know. What's the story there? Trying to see if there's any comments from O.P. None in relation to this post. However, O.P. has since as of today.

two days ago, been very active in r slash just no mother-in-law. And so clearly, you know, some dynamics there with mother-in-laws and moms. Okay. I'm curious if OP and maybe wife are sharing a Reddit account now. Right. I was like, okay, now is it her parents too? What's happening? Yeah. I mean, there's a comment here on another post from OP. Your mother-in-law's hypocrisy is

So, seems OP is very with it in clocking other people's issues and just kind of needed this to, like, get reassurance. Sure, yeah. Like, am I being crazy here? Am I reading into this? Or, like, is this an issue? And it's a motherfucking issue. Yeah.

Shit sandwich. Mm-hmm. Moving along. So here we go. This is coming from Two Hot Takes, nine days old. Titled, found photos of my pregnant sisters and breastfeeding video on my boyfriend's phone. Ooh. What do I do? Whoa. Hi, fam. Long-time listener, and I've never had a problem like this that I needed advice on. Oh, my God. This is a friend. First ever post, so bear with me, please. No.

My boyfriend, 22 male, and I, 21 female, have been together since 2019, with only one breakup in that time. A little background, he's my high school sweetheart and also the only man I've ever slept with. We broke up previously due to immaturity on his part and not being ready for a life commitment. On to the issue. We have had a photo album of us we've been working on together since we started dating, and it's almost complete.

I went into his photo gallery to see if there was any new good photos to add to our album to finish it off. We have an open phone policy. I'm scrolling and I see photos of my pregnant sisters and a video of my sister breastfeeding her daughter. I can't describe the sinking feeling that came over me and how fast my heart started to beat. The videos and photos were recorded from my phone 24 days ago online.

While I was sleeping, I have no idea what to do or what to say of him. The one thing I've done so far is edit them on his Snapchat to where the video says, quote, why are these on your phone? And to the pictures, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark. I'm currently waiting for him to wake up and notice. Once he does, I'm not sure what to say or what to do.

So, Morgan and Two Hot Takes fam, what do I do? Call the police first and get a restraining order. Break up with him. This what, ma'am? Ma'am, what's going on? Is there anything that would be reasonable for this? Is there any excuse that we can think of?

It's her. No. Her phone. Yeah, not currently. Yeah. Her phone. So her phone had a video of her sister breastfeeding her baby. And while she was sleeping, took her phone, found the video and recorded it on his. Got it. Or like airdropped it over. I think Opie could tell it was a recording. Which is creepy. Yeah. Very creepy. That's to try to avoid the evidence. I think it's.

Which actually, can people see what they've airdropped people? Is there no trail of that? I don't think there is. I don't think so. I don't know. I've never thought about that. Not that I know of. Yeah. Actually, there probably isn't an airdrop trail. So the only explanation I have in my mind is that like maybe this is a kink for him, like breastfeeding pregnant women, right?

I don't know. But like she's like always just into the sister. And that's like the closest thing he had had access to. I don't know. Either way, it's not good. No, it's not. But it's just so messed up. It's very it's very clear. Right. It's very clear here. It's not like the last one where we have no idea what to believe until the very end and the update it came out. But here it's like, no, the evidence is right there.

So what do you want to do? Because you say, you know, when he realizes, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. But like Lauren was so sure, you know, it's breakup number two. Here we go. We were right the first time and here we go. Here's the only like innocent scenario I can come up with in my head, which is still...

Let's hear it. Not okay. But like him recording that, sending it to his buddy and being like, bro, I hope my girl's boobs get this huge when we have a baby. I knew that's where you're going to go. Look at these honkers. Isn't that the same? Well, I mean, it's, I mean, it's still messed up. Like I'd like still be furious, but I'm just saying like in, in, I'm trying to think of the least creepy, least like he's into my sister way. Um,

And that's like the only thing I can come up with. But I kind of hate that I said it out loud because now I feel like he's going to use that. I mean, it's not like it's a picture, a nude of the sister. It's like it's breastfeeding. But what about the pictures of them just being pregnant? I don't know. It wasn't described. Yeah. Is that like, I don't know, pregnant photo shoots or like? I'm curious the context of the pictures. Yeah.

But I don't know, you guys. I don't know. I just like... It could be a pregnancy thing. I think it's a kink for him. It's just something's just not right. You obviously have to have a conversation. I mean, you guys have been together since 19. You're 21. It's only two years? Well, 2019. Oh. So it's like six years. Oh, okay.

I'm bad at math. Yeah, no, that's a long relationship. And I mean, that's kind of where we're at. Like, we're about to hit seven years. If I all of a sudden discovered you were recording my family members breastfeeding,

I would be really weirded out. Oh, yeah. I'd be right there with you. I agree. There's no way to make it normal. There's no way to make it something that is explainable. I think it's one thing if it's your partner, because I think that is a beautiful thing to record if it's your partner, your baby. Well, yeah. That's why she has them in the first place. Exactly. It's your sister. It's, you know, this magical thing.

But it's so weird that he screen recorded them. You got to have a conversation. See what his answer is. If you believe it and it's something you can work with, there you go. I would be really creeped out. I would feel very violated that he took this off my phone. I would have a serious trust issue with him. I would feel somewhat uncomfortable then if he was in the room with my sister breastfeeding going forward. This would be a really hard one for me to get over, honestly.

And this is really weird. People might judge me for this. I would have a harder time getting over this than the line for the last one, I think. Is that weird? No, it's not weird. I guess it would just depend on what his reason is. Like, what is he using those photos for? Oh, yeah, because if he's using them for a spank bank, don't you remember one of the stories we had from a listener earlier?

ages ago she found pictures of all of her friends on her boyfriend's phone and it was in a folder and it was his spank bank oh yeah i would not want i wouldn't be able to be around him never never no never spank bank yeah okay are you still here where'd you go i just just processing that it's a good rhyme spank you've never heard that phrase

I don't think so. Wow. Yeah. Jealous. Live in a cave. Yeah. It's definitely much more clear cut in this moment, but it's like, I really want to know when he wakes up or whatever, when he sees what, you know, how you should put the text on the photos and the video. Oh man. I just, I want to see the reaction and then I want to hear the first words. I can't imagine waiting for him to wake up. And just-

No, I would like grab the collar of his shirt and be like, why I oughta?

Like, just imagine letting him peacefully wake up. Like, couldn't be me. I know. I'd wake him up. I wouldn't be able to post this on a Snapchat and wait. I'd be like, hey. Well, I don't think it's posted. What the fuck is this? She put the text on it in the camera roll. So when he wakes up and goes to look back at those things again, it'll be, oh, shit. Yeah. And that is a moment I would pay to be there for. Same. Top comment.

He is filming your sister breastfeeding exposed without her consent, confused on how he got them. He is not a safe person for you or your sisters. I'm wondering if what he did is illegal in your area. There is no coming back from this. Get him out of your life now. Wake his butt up and confront him and tell your sisters what he did. Dump him. I mean, honestly, do you even have to ask? Says the next one.

Which, hey, it's hard. Oh, yeah. Only 21? After that many years? Like, it's so hard to, like, pull... Your first love? Yeah. And to have your first love, your first everything, last six years? Mm-hmm. Oh, the pain of that. Like, it's one thing when you have your first love, your first everything, and it only lasts a year, and you break up in high school, but to go... Or literally one month. Ugh. Yeah.

Couldn't be me, JK. It was me. Help. Yeah. But like, yeah, no, I can't imagine six years and then just... It's not that easy to just flip a switch after that amount of time. So I understand asking questions and not having it be like a no-brainer of dumping him. Yeah, for sure. That's really difficult and confusing and extremely painful. Yeah. Only...

Two real comments from OP on this one. No formal update yet. Ma'am, it's been 11 days. Oh, man. It's time. Just kind of highlighting how the videos were there. My sister sent me the videos in a Snapchat group. We have to stay updated on each other's lives. And he used his video camera to take a recording of my phone with the photos and videos on it. Have you ever taken a photo of someone's phone for a number, meme, contact, whatever it is?

People were asking, why would your sister even send you that? Why would you have your sister breastfeeding? This is my sister's first child and was born premature. Baby has been in the NICU for about three months. So her baby being able to breastfeed and not fed from a tub is a big moment for her and something she was proud of as a new mom to share. Yeah. I don't know why people are asking that. That's I don't think that's

I don't think it's weird at all. No. It's a magical thing. And like, your baby's in the NICU, like, that's hard. That means she was pumping to maintain her milk supply. I mean, she was doing a lot of work to be able to do that. And then like,

Baby has been fed through an NG tube to then have the baby be able to latch like that is a feat that is so amazing. So like, yeah, I would imagine you'd be proud and sharing it with your family because it is a big achievement and breastfeeding isn't inherently sexual, you weirdos. Right. Well, it's just so it's such a crazy connection to life.

I mean, we, you know, you see animals all the time, birds, and then there's a baby bird and this and they're feeding the baby bird and all this, but you're literally doing that yourself. I know. It's so crazy. You grew this human inside of you and now you're able to feed this human. Like it's just kind of a crazy thing. I know. I wish you could do it. I would try. I don't want to do it.

Also, we have a baby bird that's living right above our door. Lauren, you took a picture of it today. I did. It was really sticking up out of the nest. Is it one or more than one? I think it's just one, and it was about to hop out of the nest today. Lauren got a really good picture. It's time. It's time. It's already—it's got a lot of feathers. That thing's got to go. No, it's, like, ready to fly, but the bird keeps shitting in my shoes because, like, I take my horse shoes off right before the door before I get in the house, and it's shitting in my shoe. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, he's big. It's a big bird. Time to fly. Time to fly. Look at him. He's like a little master. Also, did you guys put that there? Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Are we sure that's not Mama? No, that's a baby. That's the head I've been seeing. What's down to the left? What's that? I'm getting up there tonight. No, you can't disturb them. Also, did you guys decide to put this on here or did it come with it? The gargoyle came with the house. Nice. And we believe in Juju and not fucking it up. I was hoping you guys decided to put it there because that would just be such like a...

A statement. Yeah. Yeah. Like so random of you guys that I would be like, I think we have to- All right, I'm with it. We definitely have to take it with to our next house. It gives good juju. Oh, I don't know about that. We'll get a new one. We got to leave things where they are. Okay, last one because we have to end on a positive note. We can't end on the poop. We need a good bun to close the sandwich. You know, the positive sandwich.

The sappy, sappy sandwich. It's not going to be sad, though. I'm not doing that again. The happy sandwich. Yeah. So this is coming from r slash two hot takes. Our very own people titled She Made Me a Plate and I Almost Cried. I never thought a paper plate with food could get to me, but it did.

I was at my college roommate's family barbecue over the weekend. The air smelled like charcoal and ribs. Everyone was laughing and calling each other cuz, even if they weren't actually related. I stayed near the back, mostly quiet, because I've never really been to a family gathering that felt like this. Warm, chaotic in a good way, full. Then my roommate's mom walked over and handed me a plate. Not just tossed together food, a plate. I was like, what?

The kind where someone actually thinks about what you like. She gave me the good macaroni, skipped the coleslaw because she remembered I didn't like it, and gave me a double helping of the cornbread I'd just been raving about. No big speech, just a quiet, here you go baby, eat.

I almost cried right there in her backyard. My own family doesn't really do that kind of thing. Growing up, dinner was just there. Get it yourself. Don't be picky. I can't remember the last time someone made a plate for me without me asking. No guilt, no attitude, no second guessing, just care. I didn't tell her. I just said thank you, but it meant more than she'll ever know.

Oh, I just it's timely because I was just thinking about that this week. Like, it's actually so crazy. Like the like the friends, parents in my life growing up who actually like helped me and the ones who did the opposite. And it's just like.

These things are so meaningful. Like, you don't even know how much you could change someone's life. Like, especially a young person, too. If you are an adult and you're around a young person, I think you should especially be mindful of making them feel included. We're so, like, afraid when we're young. And we... I mean, we still... We grow up that way. Like, there's so much...

shame that everyone experiences, embarrassment, like nervousness, not knowing our place, not knowing our belonging. Like it's so beautiful and so important when you hear little moments like this that can impact someone's life so much. And it's so simple. It really is. I think the most impactful things a lot of times are that simple and they don't take a lot of effort. It just takes a little thought.

And, you know, it makes me think about those videos you see where, you know, showing up matters and it's a graduation for young, old, whatever, or some sort of celebration. And the person sitting there looking around and then when they see the person, the way they just light up, it's so simple just to show up. It's simple to make someone feel seen. And that's why, I mean, we're really bookending this episode because it goes back to that

Just compliment, a comment, any sort of going to a restaurant and seeing an elderly person sitting by themselves. Say, hey, can I sit here? And challenge yourself to just compliment

try and start a conversation. Yeah, it may not work all the time. Yeah, you might get shut down. But for that one person that it actually works for and you have a meaningful conversation, it's kind of like, you know, you won't necessarily end up with their condo, but it's that same sort of impact. Yeah, it really is. That person will then go and talk about that for months. Some random person sat down with me at this restaurant and just started asking me about who I am and

What I do in XYZ, you can have the biggest impact from the littlest things on people. And I think it just...

It makes you feel good, not because you're doing it for yourself, but just from the pure joy you can inspire in others. Yeah, the response on this was really great. It's since been removed. And I don't know why I couldn't even find it on my own subreddit. I had to go in some like weird red lib finder. The top comment is to be seen is to be loved. You're one of her kids now.

And OP did respond, wow, you're so right. I'll remember that. Thank you. Someone else goes, perhaps a handwritten thank you and telling her how much it meant to be included would give her as much warmth in her heart as the plate did in yours. And I think that's something like write a thank you card to someone, write a letter to someone, call your grandparent, call a family member, a friend, check in with a loved one, like take today to make the world a better, warmer, happier place.

I know my world is better, warmer, happier because of all of you. And I appreciate all of you being here. Another episode, another week, another month, another year. And I think our community together can do some big, amazing things. So take the buns as positive messages today and spread some kindness because the shit in the middle was not it. But any final thoughts, my friends?

No, I just I mean, I think when we go back to looking at the first story and then the last story, it just kind of puts into perspective. It's like at all ages, it's never too late to make an impact on someone's life that is beyond meaningful to them. So you might be having a rough day. A lot of us go through a lot of shit.

But when you're out and about and you're communicating with people in person and, you know, online even, just try to remember that we are all human beings going through this complicated, confusing life together and try to be kind because life can hit you hard. And it's so beautiful when you have people around that are showing you this like positivity and this light. Absolutely. Okay. Okay.

That's all she wrote, my friends. Lauren, your toe sticking out of that blanket. Whoa. I hope we can see that on the camera. Your one big toe is poking through the blanket. And that just made my night. No free feet pic. One free toe. There we go. One toe. Until next time, guys. Until next time. Until next time. Bye. Bye.

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