Shownotes Transcript
Lara Parker is a writer living in Los Angeles. She rose to popularity after publicly discussing her issues living with endometriosis and comorbid conditions, including vaginismus, vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitis, PMDD, pelvic floor dysfunction, and interstitial cystitis, among others. You may remember her from the short-form docuseries Can We Cure, in which she and fellow Buzzfeed producer Kelsey Darragh tried laser therapy in an attempt to treat their chronic pain (new flash: Lara still uses laser – in case you were wondering, like I was!). Here’s the thing about Lara: she is as real as they come. She sees and acknowledges her privilege, she is unapologetically self-possessed, and she’s mad as hell (listen in to find out why). Her first book, Vagina Problems – a collection of essays that discusses the effects of endometriosis and chronic pain on her life and relationships – comes out October 6th, 2020.
**Tune in as Lara tells us… **
that she first started noticing abdominal bloating and pain when she was in 6th grade; but she didn’t take her conditions seriously until about 3 years ago
that she has been diagnosed with 10-12 different conditions
that she was diagnosed with endometriosis about 6 years ago – through laparoscopic surgery (which is invasive and cost-prohibitive)
that the surgery she had in order to diagnose her endometriosis made her pain worse
that she also lives with constant bladder urgency
that women’s health issues are constantly brushed off as not serious – and this puts women’s health at risk
that she has almost always had pain during penetrative sex and orgasm – and felt betrayed by her own body for years
that she has had to go from hating her body to showing it love
that she’s had to untangle not only physical trauma, but also emotional trauma
that her work in therapy is to reframe her experiences
that she’s become very forthright in communication because of her conditions – not only with sexual partners, but with others, as well
that she no longer blames her body for her experiences – and no longer makes apologies for what she needs
that she is grateful for her Spoonie support community, from whom she’s learned so much – and to whom she credits her increasing confidence
that writing became an outlet for her – because she didn’t know how to talk about her adverse health experiences
that she didn’t know what kind of support she needed…or how to ask for it
that despite the few good eggs out there, she doesn’t feel doctors are on her side – because historically, they haven’t been
that she has shifted the anger she used to have toward her body to anger she channels at the doctors who treated her negligently in the past
that unless you’ve experienced chronic pain, you cannot understand it
that endometriosis is a progressive disease – and for her, it’s gotten worse over time
that chronic pain is systemic – if it affects one area in your body, it can begin to affect others as you compensate in your behaviors
that chronic pain makes you work harder
the importance of an empathetic workplace
that most doctors really don’t know how to handle chronic illness, and tend to get frustrated when they can’t treat in their own specialty
that the most caring practitioners she’s encountered have been holistic practitioners – as opposed to traditionally-trained Western doctors
that she pursues an integrative approach in her treatment
that her great grandmother was institutionalized…and she wonders if she could have had similar symptoms that were simply misunderstood in her time
that she uses medical marijuana for pain management, as opposed to opioids
that a hysterectomy is not a cure for endometriosis
that endometriosis is consistently underplayed by the medical establishment and beyond
that the diagnosis and treatment of endometriosis amounts to a public health crisis
that birth control was more of a hindrance than a help to her, but, as with opioid use – she can’t judge anyone for using these drugs, as needed
to remember that doctors work for you, and that you are the boss of your body
that she will always seek pleasure despite her pain, and will never give up sex and orgasms This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit uninvisiblepod.substack.com)