157 - Obi Wan Nairobi, SAS Operator & The Accident - Christian Craighead | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 157
02:00:39 Share

I'm 5'11". I'm the king of the manlets. I think one of the best things ever for me is probably killing someone for the first time. Are you gonna be like going in and out of a bad English accent this entire time? Yeah, I thought you were talking to me. For the second time in the podcast history, there's about to be a fucking fight breaking out. No, there's not gonna be a fight. I'm just gonna give someone a band.

Brandon, what's wrong with Nick?

I don't know. He looks fine to me. But imagine if Patreon f***ed YouTube instead of, you know, YouTube f***ing us. He's trying to say that we brought together some of the finest creators in this community and put them all together in one place without all the bullshit. We're going to have everybody. Demolition Ranch, Kentucky Ballistics, Administrative Results, Donut Operator, Brandon Herrera, Unsubscribe Podcast, and everybody's favorite, The Fat Electrician.

Thanks, Nick. And that's not all. You get all the YouTube videos plus exclusive content, no censorship and all ad free. What exclusives you might ask? The unsubbed live documentary special is actually available right now. If you missed the live tour, this is a great way to see what the hell happened because I don't fucking remember. We drank a lot. And after that, we have another exclusive range day video from the big creator range day. We all just finished up. I miss Nick.

Oh, shit. I'm back. Hi. That is right. This is the official soft launch. And the best part of this soft launch, we have a limited time offer. The first 2,500 people to sign up with Pepperbox will be able to get it for half off. So $3.99 for the life of your subscription. So if you're as excited as we are, you should come prematurely. I mean early. That's it, everyone. Go to Pepperbox.tv to sign up and start your two-week free trial right away.

This is a, what kind is this? This is your 50 pence? The wrapper? Yeah. 50 pence? It's becoming a short. God damn it, Eli. It's becoming this, that's what I say, I call them 50 pence. He takes credit for that joke, not me. It's the, and I've been tagging him on all this stuff now because it's, he'll do this thing like,

My ex, like my baby mama has been sleeping with P. Diddy or whatever. I didn't realize she was a small sex slave or something like that. And then it's like all this thing and it'll be like, hashtag Branson Cognac. It'll be like all this blah, blah, blah. Completely irrelevant. Hashtag Branson Cognac. We see what you're doing, man. When they say there's no such thing as bad press. We found out that was a lie. Oh, I have found out that is definitely a lie. Bad press is not fun.

Companies have learned from that. A wheel company specifically. Thank you. That way we pop the top.

Are you going to be like going in and out of a bad English accent this entire time? Yeah. What do you mean bad? You mean perfect? Yeah. I thought you were talking to me. Are you just going to be going in and out of this thing? It's really annoying. We know you're from Arkansas. I was trying to do it on that, on that, actually that skydiving trip. And then Matt was saying about, you know, you work on like an American accent.

And I remember there's one, I was driving again, we should be rolling with this. I was driving by myself in a car in Arizona trying to do American accents. And I was just like, I want to hear that. No, because I was like laughing going,

There's probably someone watching me just with their hands on their head going, please stop. Just don't do this. I always think of that whenever I'm doing shit like that or I'm singing like car karaoke shit. I'm like, my FBI agent hates me right now. That's the whole thing is I wouldn't have seen... I have solved that as well. If anyone, whether it be a foreign intelligence agency or now my own,

is like listening to what I'm saying on the like, God, oh no, he's putting Celine Dion again. Celine Dion's going on again. You're just really into it though. But can you, as a question to any feds who listen would be, if someone's singing in your car, can you isolate them singing? Or if you want to tell secrets in the car, just turn up your music really loud and talk to each other. If feds out there in the comment section, let us know. Or you could intentionally fuck with them and two minutes into the song,

You can just pause it and go, bomb, dirty bomb, napalm. And then restart it. So they have to listen through the entire thing. They have to continue like, oh, fuck. Oh, you ready to start this, bitch? Holy shit. When's the last time we did a podcast? Dude, I feel good because I'm like, it's been so long. We had a refresh. All right. You want to be doing it? Doing the thing? Okay. We hold it up here. Three, two, one. And then you take a sip.

Man, that's just, oh, the lemonade vodka is good too. What? Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Unsubscribed Podcast. I am joined today by Eli Doublefap, Mr. Christian Craghead, and Brandon Herrera. And our boy, Bonut Bopper Bader. I have Bonut Bopper taters here too. Yeah.

God, we haven't done a podcast in a freaking while, man. I don't know why we missed you. What's up, bros? Yeah, we had so many just sitting there that we did for, you know, we had range day and we were building up all these podcasts because all of our guests were coming into town. We've been backlogged a lot. Yeah, we were just backlogged. Now we get to relax and what a fucking episode to come in on. Dude, I'm so fucking stoked. This is, I'm like...

been jonesing for this we've been trying to do this episode for like a year right now we're just like oh we need to have christian on at some point christian it's been a long time coming and i've always said i was going to do it and here i am but dude we're just waiting for the right moments and then he was talking in his weird accent we're still trying to nail where it's from but uh dude we're like stop talking please please save this for the podcast he's like oh i still want to hear that american accent oh yeah we can start with that here let you have done it before let me hear it no oh

Okay, come on, dude. We were talking about Guy Ritchie movies earlier. I can't do an American accent. I'm working on it. The only thing I can do is... I can't do a British accent, but I try. Try. There's so much pressure. Maybe I'll slip it in later on. That's probably a better way of doing it. You'll have to see. I had a British exchange student in high school that I went to school with that the only thing he could say in his very forced American accent was...

He talked very high, like he was a very high vocal range individual, but he would just go really deep, I would like a cheeseburger. That was the only thing he knew how to say. I mean, let's face it, if it's a British guy coming on exchange to, was it in America? Yeah.

I don't know if I know your intention on that sentence. I don't like where this is going. I know, but if it's a British guy doing an exchange into America, he must have come from money, so he probably wouldn't have had a regional accent like mine. And for the record, I'm trying to put on my best speaking voice here. No doubt. Because if I went into my full regional accent, no one...

no one would be able to understand me. So regional accent, where are you from? I'm from Northeast England. Okay. Do you watch Game of Thrones? I do. Game of Thrones. King of the North. I'm from Winterfell, basically. Yeah, okay. You're from Winterfell? That's awesome. Because I wasn't the whole thing. Like they asked Sean Bean, like, hey, can you do like a Southern accent? And he goes, no. So they're like, all right, well, you're all speaking like Northerners now. Yeah. That's it. They're all like the, if I went into my, slipped into,

the regional Geordie is called accent is super fast and, and they're like, and they go on like peaks and bursts. It's like burst transmissions. It's like, I'll speak really fast. Can we hear it? And then I'll do something else. Can you do, can you do just like a brief, like, Hey, welcome to unsubscribe. We're going to have a blast today. How would you say that?

Hey, everyone. I'm just on the original... I'm on this podcast today with these canny dudes. They've got Eli, Brandon, an AK guy over here, Cody. I'm going to be really good. We're going to do a lot of stuff and keep up, stay tuned, and we're going to have a reet laugh. A right reet laugh. You might need subtitles for that. Done. And I completely cuffed that. So I didn't... That wasn't, as you can tell, it wasn't pre...

pre-made pre-made Geordie. Well, I appreciate the fact that you put in a lot of effort to speak real English with us here today. Yeah. Real American. Thanks for coming out of Texas. Thank you very much guys. And can I have some ranch with this? Man, we sound like dickheads. That's how we sound to you. Yeah.

Yes, ma'am. Okay. Yes, ma'am. Howdy, ma'am. I love how he just says Americans have manners. I know. They just say yes, ma'am all the time. Okay, we're doing the shot, which is this.

Because, him. It's the P. Diddy liquor? What is this? No, it's not P. Diddy. It's the other guy. It's 50 Pence. Oh, I see. It's 50 Pence. Wait, does he own this brand? Yes. Dude, 50 Pence. Really? Shout out to 50 Pence. Oh, so it's not the P. Diddler? No, it's the 50 Pence. I have not had cognac one time in my life, so we're going to just tappy taps. Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's one of the things. Yep, that's a thing. That's one of the drinks of all time ever. That's not awful. I don't think I'd like it again. That is definitely a hangover. That is a lot of sugar. I can taste the sugar into that one. Yeah, thanks, Christian. Fuck, man. So that's your drink of choice?

No, it's just something I was interested in trying. Yeah, it's by 50 cents. I believe it's his cognac. And yeah, I just wanted to try it. Due to inflation, he's now 80 cents. Brandon's training to be a dad. That's great. That's great. One day, Brandon. Because I put my British spin on it and called him 50 pence. But that's even better now. I like that inflation thing.

I'm trying to be a dad currently. Mr. Christian, for all the beautiful individuals out there that don't know, he is Obi-Wan Narobi among James Bond. What else? This man has lived a life and it is truly an honor to have you sitting at the table. And now that we're done jerking you off, I can't wait for this. All of us have been so fucking stoked.

to have you on to conversate. You're just a fascinating individual. It's like fucking, we've literally a whole year. We're like, okay, it's going to happen. One day it's going to happen. You're a busy dude. And you just came stateside. How long ago did you move here? In January. So that's where we are now. Yeah.

And then you're doing the entire process right now? I will do eventually, yeah. But I'm a resident of Texas and Texas driver's license, Texas resident. No, you need to just fly to Mexico and then come across the border illegally. That way you get a few grand and a cell phone. That was a plan B. Yeah. That was the...

If everything fails, try that. Rocco's like, Christian? You're only allowed if you're coming here from Somalia. But I'm told, again, I don't know if you can put this out, but it is actually a...

a different thing so depending on your passport is all the different rules which uh and i i'm not speaking with authority here so i'm not sure but i did hear for example it's very very hard to get into this country if you come from cuba yes because they probably don't want you to give you a certain message people a certain message or vote a certain way so it's if you so if you've got a cuban passport it's very hard to get into the country that's something i've heard as well yeah on the borders yeah so it's same as if you've got a uh

a British passport or a Canadian passport or whatever. It's different rules for different passports. Only allowed to come into the country from Cuba in the 80s if you were a criminal. Yeah. You're the wrong kind of brown. I've done seen Scarface. I know how this works. That

That ain't no Mexican accent. Her fucking resident Nazi here, Bryn Herrera. Oh, yeah. Apparently. Neo-Nazi Brandon Herrera. Known neo-Nazi. It's like, known to who? When I think Klan members, I think of Mexican Brandon Herrera. I had somebody at one of our political rallies. There was a local precinct chair shook my hand. He's like, oh, if it isn't the brown face of white supremacy. Yeah.

This is a text, so if you don't know, Brandon's been... When someone says that to you, do you go, thanks? Well, thankfully, that time I kind of assumed he was fucking me. I don't know what I'm going to say. Yeah, you can't do the nervous, like, oh, oh. Well, actually, I did that at one point. I'll go, hey, I haven't got a brown face. I'm quite Aryan, can you tell? Yeah.

Before we get into this, I need to address something serious. What's that? If you're still placing bets with Two Finger Tony, you need to know that MyBookie is here to save your limbs. MyBookie's been around for over 10 years, is trusted, and allows for bets on any sport on the planet. All for

the comfort of your home. No more trips to the shady bar on the other side of the town. I have so many jokes I can't say right now. I've been to that bar. You don't want to go there. Seriously though, if you're looking for your first sports betting experience or an improved sports betting experience, you have to try out MyBookie. Sign up today to receive your share of a generous welcome bonus using code UNSUB, which gives you that house money

to play with. You know they say the house always wins? They're wrong. Bet and play anything, anytime, anywhere with MyBookie. Place your bets now over at MyBookie.com. MyBookie.com. Code unsub. Mike Tyson actually has a quote. It's hilarious. It's interviews like, you're a...

liar, something, something. And he responded with, first off, I'm no liar. And you're like, whoa, bro, why did you? That's a joke I was trying to get at. That's funny, but it's like, it's an actual Tyson quote. I thought you were referring to my favorite Tyson quote, which is, quote,

I'm going to you until you love me. Yeah. It's final. I broke my back. It's fine. You're like, I wouldn't fuck. Are you getting him on here? Oh, dude. Oh, that would be amazing. I would love. That's a good. That's it. Oh, we should do it. Like, cause when's the fight? When's the Logan Paul fight?

Because he might be on a media tour. We might be able to make that happen. That would be an amazing fucking weird interview. Because I've looked up to that dude saying he's a fucking monster of a human. If you especially watch his, like that dude hit. Yeah. Goddamn freight train. You just kill people. And then him in his prime. He's like, and this is like a compliment to him. He's an animal. It's like, that's when you know when someone's got it in them. And it's a difference between there's someone who can be an athlete and a fighter. And I was talking to with a really good friend of mine who's a,

ex UFC fighter Brendan O'Reilly and we're talking about the difference between there's athletes and there's fighters who've just got that animal instinct who are just like it's on and when it's on that's it there's only one thing that's going to happen and he's like the OG of not the OG of that but he's the one that brought it to my attention because when he was in his

Initial prime, I was like 11, 12 years old, and I was looking going, yeah. Dude, his stare downs. If you want terror, his stare downs. So technically, you weren't allowed to wear black shorts unless you were the champion. He did not give a shit. He was like, I'm going to be the champion. I'm wearing out black shorts every time. And he would always wear black shorts out to his. I like the whole, I think it's all part of it. And this is the beauty when someone does something naturally.

it works better and the fact that you know you have all these fighters coming out with all these like silk robes and doing all the dancing and stuff and he comes out with just that towel with the little black ankle boots

That to me is like a good image. And this is, I'm repeating myself, but it wasn't image because it was actually natural. And that's what makes it even more terrifying to your opponent is that he's not doing it for the vision. He's doing it because it's him and that's why it works so well. And that's why if someone else tried to do it, it maybe wouldn't work. And it sounds so cliche, but you can see it in somebody's eyes. Like I remember the one time, the guy, the dude at the boxing gym who fucked up my ribs before my fight,

is this just really big black dude who like just like right before we got in the rain together it was his first time sparring at that gym he had it in his fucking eyes when he was looking at me because we're just sparring and he was looking at me like I just his wife

And it was genuinely scary. And so he went to town. But you could tell that guy, however he grew up, he was a fucking fighter. And that is the difference. It was not a sport to him. He wanted to fucking kill me. And then Tyson, if you want some of the best stare downs, Tyson's stare downs are absolutely terrifying. Because everyone else would move and he'd just be like this. That's it. You need to come on here and then you need to do like a stare up.

All have to try and do a stare out. And then he gives a judge who's the best stare out of you three. I'd come too fast. This is why we can't have nice things. This is why I said no eye contact. Just like in prison, no eye contact. Look away. Look away from it. It doesn't count. Dude, some of this... It doesn't count if it's in prison? No, it doesn't count if you don't make eye contact. Oh, I see. Yeah. We were talking about this earlier.

The fucking... The new Roadhouse movie. Yeah. The one line they didn't use that was the best line ever...

is I used to fuck guys like you in prison. If Conor McGregor would have used that line, it's like, come on. Yeah, like that, yes, that's the most intimidating thing ever. And they didn't use it. Like, I wish Conor McGregor would have used that in the new Roadhouse movie. My biggest complaint is that nobody ripped anyone's throat out. Right? I thought it was leading up to that at the very end. I haven't seen it, and it's a spoiler. Did Conor McGregor get his throat ripped out? No. Did he get killed, even? Did they kill him?

I haven't watched it. All right, we're not going to spoil that part, but nobody gets their throat ripped out, and they don't say the guys like you in prison line. Those were the two big, like, what the fuck else is Roadhouse? Swayze's dead. You can't get him. But those are the only two things you can do. That's a combat patch I want to fuck. Like, you can walk out, but if you walked out with a patch that said, I used to fuck dudes like you in prison, I'm like, what?

He's way more scary now. It's like that Shane Gillis bit where it's Vikings versus gay Vikings. Like Vikings, they're just, you're not too worried. Gay Vikings, on the other hand, when they bring up that rainbow flag, you're like, uh-oh. They're going to take our gold and our women. Gay Vikings.

Fuck. I am holding back right now. I'm holding back. I'm holding back at all. So this is amazing. Christian hasn't watched a single episode because he wanted this a raw experience coming on. You're better off. I was going to, and then I thought, no, let's go into it raw. I don't want to watch, like, trying, all right, maybe don't say this, maybe don't say that.

Again, I'm using my judgment of, you know, I am being held back because I'm not rich enough yet, like I said to you. And then once I'll come back on again, when you see me back on this channel, it means I made a load of money and I made a load of money and I'll be able to say what I want.

He's actually just using us as like a Tinder profile. He's going to come back on two weeks from now. He's like, hey, by the way, if anybody's interested, I made a load of money. Hey, what's up, dawgs? They're crying with the money. Just patting your eyes. It's the zombie land with the $100 bills. Woody Harrelson. Oh, this sucks so bad. I hadn't cried like that since Titanic. That's the gif I send people on Twitter. It's like, what?

When they get so mad at me and they're like, you're a piece of shit. You're a Nazi. It's like, oh, this is horrible. I'm so sad that this one individual doesn't like me. Like, fuck. Okay, so...

We, all of us, especially Brandon, have went through basic training. Shut up. We've done military experience. You have no idea how many, real quick. Because this is just a direct fuck you. I was just in, I believe it was Terrell County on a campaign stop recently. And I had to answer a question from an unsubscribe viewer, clearly, who didn't know time and place.

And we're in a group of like 30, 40 people that are there for like, actually, this is a real campaign stop. And they just hear, we hear that you're an honorary veteran. Would you like to comment on that? And so I had to explain the joke of my Purple Heart friend who started this joke out of spite for me because he hates me, I guess, that I've been running away from ever since that he has just taken...

Fuck you. I didn't know how much root. I did not expect it taking that much of a root and read it. And then everyone else like, yes, yes. Weaponized. Okay. Brandon's a medal of honor recipient. It has gotten like people have actually gotten to legitimate arguments on social media. Like, Oh, Tony's record is this. Well, Brandon, I don't know if you know this, but a purple heart winner, medal of honor recipients. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Those are jokes. Those are jokes. Those are with you in rugby, right? Jesus Christ. Yeah.

And this is how more gets written. And then somebody's going to ask me about it, being totally serious. And somebody who has no idea what this podcast is. And then you just, Kristen just writes him in the book. He's like, I wasn't even part of it. I don't have a passport.

So you went through, though, you joined at 16, right? Yeah. Which is fucking... I didn't even know that was a thing. So that, when you wrote that, you were talking about it, I didn't even know you could join at 16. Yeah, you still can. And I've talked about this a lot, but...

You can join the British military when you're 16, but you cannot deploy on combat operations until you're 18. So you're just doing training? You do training and things. But again, it's kind of something I am proud of is I jumped out of a C-130 aircraft before I slept with a woman. So this is like stand-up virgin soldiers and it's like that thing. I was like a...

So I was like, yeah, jumping out of C-130s and being like a ranger, if you like. Yeah, so your first jump on a C-130 was when you were 29? It was a few weeks ago. No, no, no. That's right. Yeah.

See what happens? Yeah, that was instant karma. I tried to throw in the slightest bit of shade and I immediately embarrassed myself. Well, time to fucking f*** myself. F*** yourself? I thought I knew where that was going. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Sorry, I'm thinking memes now. Oh, Jesus Christ, I'm sorry. Wow. Thankfully, Ryan won't care.

He made this out to my son to write in. Sometimes just one wolf can make all the difference. Best C, which truly thank you for this brother. This is, this is fucking amazing. And you've ruined it. You're making me feel like such a piece of shit right now. Holy fuck. My only one of, I go to sell it at like the road show and 50 years. So like it would have been worth $50 million, but there seems to be booze spilled on it. Like that means it was worth more. That was tech.

That was President... Yeah, President. He's built his village one more, right? What is that? Future former disgraced congressman. So what was... So you were jumping out of planes at... At what age? 17. That's fucking... What's the drinking age over there? 18. So you were...

doing this gnarly training and you couldn't even drink. Yeah, that's it. I mean, it was like for me, it was a lifelong ambition. Wanted to do it.

But we talk about focus. I was just wanting to do that. And to me, it wasn't. That's all I wanted to do. So what was the train-up leading? Like basic training going through it for us is like your 12, nine weeks and then four weeks, I think, for infantry. So for me, we had this thing. And I was the last platoon in this format was called Junior Para.

Junior power was six months of being a junior soldier in the parachute regiment, which is the equivalent of the ranger regiment over here. And it was just six weeks, sorry, six months of brutal training. And it was brutal. I look back at it and it's like, do you know what? That's kind of badass. And the instructors were really, really good. But it's a different world. Like if you tried to do that stuff now,

then people will be like, yeah, that's brutality. 16 and 17, that's ridiculous. And it's like, and one of the things, I feel in some ways feel sorry for some of the instructors because I have to think it was about week four when we started what we call tabbing, which is rucking. We'd be doing a ruck march every Saturday morning. Real quick, any little phrase or any word that you guys have, like a...

What would you call that? A slang term or phrase. Could be interpreted as f***ing. Rooking. No, what was the term? So we call it tabbing. Yeah, like literally any other British slang in my mind is immediately f***ing. We're shagging. We're tabbing. Yeah, I tabbed her later. Oh, that girl down at the pub. Yeah, no, I tagged her last week. Right in the boot. What?

I know British. So you did rucking, which is, if you don't know, it's ruck marching. You put on a 35 to 60 pound bag and you walk at a very fast pace. You're my height, so you probably hated rucking. No, I loved it. You fucking weirdo. Because that's why I wanted to, you know, for me it was what sets...

the the tough guys apart from the the normal guys it's like that's what we do i want to do that on a saturday morning go rocking do that and then throughout the week it was just brutal physical conditioning then that finished after six months and then it went into normal training not normal training but training for the parachute regiment they have like a test called p company which has changed a number of times over the last few years but it used to be really hard and um

um but that was like kind of like hell week oh okay thing and it's like it's a hard test and there's a really good if you ever go on youtube and a cutting edge documentary called p company look at that was like the p company kind of what i did and then um yeah and then you go into the they do parachute training which is just the round parachutes and then you go into your parachute battalions and and for me it was like a great honor to serve in the parachute regiment it was 10 years after the foglands war

And the Parachute Regiment played a key role in the Falklands. Can you break in more on the Falkland War? It was just like a war that happened in 1982. The Argentinians invaded the small island in the South Atlantic, and then a task force was sent to get them out of there. And so it was like conventional warfare for...

A few weeks. It was one of the few instances, I'm going to go into like a little bit of like a weapon nerd history. It's one of the few instances where the same service rifle was used on both sides of a war. Right. So you had the FAL on both sides. I might be mistaken. I mean, I want to say this in like a five-eye sort of view, like, but it's kind of like the last...

Force-on-force war where you had aircraft fighting against each other way have like a naval force fighting against each other It wasn't just going in like a counterterrorism war Yeah, I know people with all the again Gulf War veterans might be getting hot around the collar That was a three-day event of us But it was kind of like a like a kind of force on life to my know is like a force on force like the other one Might have been maybe the Balkans

uh, the, the Yugoslav civil war. Well, not, not really for us. Oh, for the UK. I mean, I mean, that's what I mean from like a, like a UK, US, you know, like when it's, when it's like back to the old, whether you've got the carrier groups and submarines and you know what people think war is about. That was like the last in my, again, I've got a lot of combat experience, so I kind of, I think I'm allowed to say all this, but, um,

It was, to me, it was the last, like, I don't want to say real war because, like I say, I've done lots of fighting and lots of killing and stuff like that. But, like I say, force on force, we've got,

aircraft against each other submarines in the water naval carrier groups soldiers and soldier like what people think war is yeah like that was like a clear cut you know the bad guys it's black and white i think the term is like near pure warfare like where you have yeah and again there's might be history buffs and people like cursing me now or whatever but that to me but it was a and it was true grit it was the the prime minister of the uk at the time margaret thatcher was like yeah

We're not going to just, it's thousands of miles away, but we don't care. This is British sovereign territory. We're going to get you out of there and send down a task force. Lots of different units, regiments, lots of people died, especially in the naval side when anti-ship missiles striking ships and killing hundreds of people.

But in one strike, but it was, but it really raised national pride at that time. And people, I hope they still are very proud of the Falklands War. I know I am. And it was one of the big motivators for me to, outside of media and things, but it was the thing that 10 years later, I was joining the parachute regiment, which was the,

the the regiment to join in the british the british military and what what year did you join 1992 okay god you are all yeah you're the i am did you just say did you just fucking you're just old i did damn you are old you i was forget because you look fucking good for your god damn really dude that was before i was born for context yeah you joined the military before brandon that's incredible jesus okay

Oh my god, dude. I was over here doing the math on the Falklands War. I'm like, wait a minute. Frank's like, how old are you? Yeah, because I always forget your... I would have thought you were like 40. Yeah, on the dot. Like, you look like... I'm 48. Yeah. You don't look 48. You look 40, like he was saying, on the dot. Yeah, you fuck...

Oh, look at me. I'm good looking. I'm well spoken. I have a British accent. Go fuck yourself. Can I tell you a story about this motherfucker right here? So like, like Heather and I go up to, uh, we're up at staccato, you know, like I was like two months ago, something like that. We're hanging out at staccato and, uh,

And we're really, we're like having a good time. And you're like, Cody, good to see you. What's up, bro? Good to see you. And then you turn to Heather and you're like, my darling, it's good to see you. I was like, Christian, save some pussy for the rest of us, man. I said, chill out. Hello, darling. Fuck man.

All the girls, like even Sav, you're like, Sav, we're going to go eat at my house afterwards. Sav's like so excited. She's like, oh. And I'm like, god damn it. And you're respectful and it's hilarious too because Sav will show some cleavage at times. God bless her soul. And when he was talking to her, she's like, hey, Sav, how you doing? Like he just put his hand here. It's fucking hilarious and respectful at the same time. Like, ah. Is that not a joke, really? No, it's a joke. Oh.

I wouldn't put it past you. It's like a kind of thing to go like that. He did it still. Oh, okay. That's why he was doing it as a joke. I didn't put my hand on her. I was like, man, so respectful. So respectful. Hey, homie.

So you joined eight years, would you say eight years or a decade later from the wars? God, I love the whiplash of this podcast. Yeah, the Falklands War was 1982. 1992, I joined the parachute regiment. And then what was, how many miles? When you were like rut marching, how far were you doing? It would build up, but the standard towards the end was the 10 mile standard, which was, I hope it still stands, is...

You're carrying a ruck of 35 pounds and then a weapon, and it's 10 miles in, one hour 50. Holy shit. You are cooking. Holy shit. So EIB, for anyone, you have to do a 12-mile ruck march under three hours, if I remember right. So the parachute regimen, 10-mile a day.

which we eventually, so we didn't start off in like week four, but towards the end, that was what we were building up to is the 10 mile on P company is one hour, 35 pounds in one hour, 50. Three hours for the EIB. So expert infantryman's badge, you have to do it under three hours with the exact same loadout. Doing fucking just two miles left in an hour 50 is horrible.

Like you are stepping the fuck out. You're not just walking. And P Company, like I said, has changed a lot. But after the Falklands War, they tweaked it again to make, because that's what happened. The task force landed on one side of the island and then marched to the other side and then fought a battle at the end of it. And Two Power did two battles. So they did a battle at the start and then another one at the other side. So they tweaked P Company again.

believe after the Falklands but but yeah it's a tough test and that's that was then is and that's still again it is disappointing that they do change the standard and change the tests but but the core concept of it still remains the same of power troopers land on one location and then move as fast as I can on foot to another to another point to then fight a battle after it so

That's the concept. And for those people who think they shouldn't do it or don't know why they do it, that is why they do it. And long may it stay that way. That is absolutely right. I don't know if you guys, like Brandon, if you want my, and you're literally like my height's one inch taller, so you're like 5'10"? Yeah. Yeah. Stepping out. You're 5'9"? Yeah.

I am. Are you? You're what? 4'10 now according to the internet? Yeah, according to the internet. I was showing him little brand images. I'm like, wait a minute, hold on. I'm 5'10. What? What?

I'm like, what? Are you really 5'9"? Yeah. Yeah, because I know how to stand up. Maybe I'm just thinking like the internet's meme of you that you're like that much shorter. It's the same thing. Again, it's being brought up and like Evan Haver brought this up and everyone brings it up. It's like, I'm 5'10". And everyone's like, pulls that face and goes, really? I'm what? I...

I fucking know how tall I am. It's like, I know how tall I am. I didn't lie about it. I didn't say, yeah. And like when I, and I said, when I stand up straight, we're back against the wall measured. It's five foot 10. I've been that height since it was 16 years old. 69 inches. And then, and then, and then, and then, and then people pull our face on. Really? I'm on. Why, why, why is it when someone says about the height or wherever we go? Really? I'm like,

I'm like, what do you think I'm lying? Why would I lie? Why would I like say that to you? I mean, get it. If you put it on your profiles or whatever, like six foot four or whatever. Yeah. Get in there. Bro. Brandon woke up and chose violence against you today. I know. I like it. Well, I would understand it. It's like,

The veteran thing, I would always choose violence against me. I would wake up and be like, I have so much fucking ammo in reserve for you right now. I'm just quite pleased that you said like, oh, 510. I was like, oh, thanks. I was like, I'd rather go, oh, you brought 580. I'm like, yeah.

Really? Fuck you. First of all, fuck everyone. I'm 5'11". I'm the king of the manlets. You're that one inch too short. You fucking bitches. Tinder sucks for me.

But you're six foot two when you stand on your wallets. Exactly. I have never heard that. I love it so much. I like that. And that's another bonus about living in Texas is like I wear cowboy boots a lot all the time and they've got big heels. So actually I do look like five, 10. Yours are really big because they're like platformers.

I'm just you look like a go-go dancer he's just walking with these giant boots I'm like huh didn't expect that like president macron of france with his little booster feet oh jesus that's still one of my favorite videos of president trump like just walking out in front of all the world leaders pushing them out of the way just oh yeah this is my america's here so yeah I mean yeah that is good isn't it it's just like

Connor, you ever heard about tushy? Oh, you mean this? Did you know just wiping your butt with that dry ass toilet paper just smeared poop around? With Hello Tushy, you have a fresh stream of water spraying directly on your butthole, eliminating adult skid marks, itchy buttholes, and the risk of spreading pink eye. No amount of furious wiping can give you that shower fresh confidence of washing with Hello Tushy bidet. It'll change the way you think

about wiping after a spicy dump. Now the reason I like bidets is because it reminds me of Japan. Plus the cleansing feeling is amazing. Let's talk about the one you can take on the go. You can clean that booty hole on the road now. Oh! The at-home butthole cleaner is amazing. God, I didn't mean the three nozzle settings. It gives you, oh, oh, oh!

And every TUSHY bidet comes with a 30-day hassle-free return and a 12-month warranty. It's that time of year for spring cleaning, and what better place to start than your butthole? Stop wiping until you bleed and join the 2 million butts who've already switched to TUSHY. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off your entire order when you use code UNSUB at checkout. That's promo code UNSUB.

What was your least favorite part of training up before getting into, like from basic training to the actual like regiment? What was the least part? Like inspections and things, you know, like locker inspections and making, you know, I make them better every day.

Like, not... And I don't want to drop it like some, like, McMakey bed, Navy SEAL kind of thing. You have a lot of animosity against SEALs and stuff. No, I don't. I was just thinking... That's the first comment I made. I just said, like, McMakey bed. I do make my bed every day. I thought you had animosity toward Jordan Peterson. Like, clean your room. So what... No, I do that. But, you know, like, making the bed blocks, and I think that's not allowed anymore. And, like...

polishing everything and making everything neat and tidy. I get why you do it, but I just didn't like it. Well, when was the first time you ever deployed? What year? 1993. Okay. Jesus fuck. Where? Northern Ireland. Northern Ireland.

Really? Yes. Okay, now I really fucking care. I don't think we should talk about Northern Ireland, not because there's anything. It's just because I'm going to do it. I would do it in justice. And I don't know. It's a very complex kind of insurgency. But yeah, so I went to Northern Ireland when I was 18 years old. I was 17 when I flew out and then 18 when I went onto the ground. And then I was there two years then and left. And there's not really much to talk about. It was the main conflict that was going on for the British at the time.

But it's a very super complex situation. There's a lot of this situation. I mean, war is a complex thing. It used to be just like, I want that land. This is it. Now it's way more deep. Especially that since it was technically a domestic deployment. It's a little convoluted, to say the least. That's crazy. There's a reason why Dave and Sho are not here with us today. So...

Training up until going over, how long were you in before you got selected to try out for the SAS? Or did you step in and be like, hey, I'm doing that? In my mind, even before I joined the Army, I wanted to do it. But it was such a bold thing to think. I didn't say it out loud. And it was one stage at a time.

And then I was going to try it when I was young, really young, like 21. And then I got persuaded to go into the Pathfinder platoon, which is like a force recon type unit. Lots of land nav going into Pathfinder. Yeah, it's a very, very tough selection again. But did that, and then I tried to get on three times to get into the SAS. And I failed one injury and then another situation. And then eventually I got in, and it was just,

When was that? In 2006. Okay. So, okay. I want to rewind now to the Pathfinder because what is the training going into that? How long is one of those road march? That's also wild. 14 years later. That's dedication. But that's kind of the average. I don't know what it is now, but the...

They say that when they do the math, it's like average age is a lot younger than what it is, but it's not the average because you might get one person who joins when they're young and like say 21, 22, that brings the averages down. But the real average of people joining the, like a T1 unit is around about 30, 31 years old. That's what it used to be. So they've done typically 12 year service. Again, it might be younger now and things, but...

from what I always used to see and then being an instructor would be you'd get like two groups you'd get guys who are 24 which was the first time I did it was when I was 24 you get the 24 year old group and then you get like 30 something group and typically the guys who were in the 30 something group were the ones who filled it when they were 24 and

And that's kind of like the age bracket. Going back to your question about Pathfinders, it was just a fast and furious selection course of six weeks, but very, very tough. Intense, intense. Yeah, and that was just, again, getting into that unit was really good. I was in the unit longer than average,

And it was a catch-22. I was in this military unit where I kind of didn't want to be in it, but it was better than being in a standard unit because it was a special unit. But the first year in that unit was probably one of the best years of my life. It was so good. And, again, I've spoke about this before, and then all of a sudden they decided to get a sergeant major, and then things got worse. And then it was just like, yeah. And it's not knocking those sergeant majors. It was...

what was like this little tribe of guys who were like super soldiers, super fit and keen and having a laugh and doing good stuff. Then you get a Sarmier and it becomes not real again. And I didn't like it very much after that. And then I did my first combat leadership when I was in Pathfinders and that was really good and a great honour for me. And a lot of the guys, the team that had 3-4 Delta,

It was a six-man team. I think four of the six all ended up in the SAS. No shit. And then maybe five, I can't remember. But they all ended up in there, and it was a good team and a good group. But yeah, so it was like best of times, worst of times. So when you say it was like the best day or the best year of your life, were you just like, holy shit, this is fucked up? Oh, I don't know. I think one of the best things ever for me, and it was probably killing someone for the first time,

and I don't want to say this as a psychopath or a sociopath or whatever path, is you've got to think about it like this. When we're kids, we're playing soldiers. 100%.

And here's a funny thing. Because again, I'm just saying, again, cancel me, don't cancel me. Is, did you play soldiers? I'm using the PC term now. You're running around shooting things. Yeah, you find that rice stick. I don't know what you call it. As soon as you're seven years old. You mean cowboys and Indians? Yeah, so there's cowboys and Indians. We used to call it like Japs in English.

And now people are like, what? Japs in English, really? No shit. Wow. Because we're still living in, then in the 1970s, we're not that far away from World War II. Do you got the scotch tape? That's wild. In my mind, because we don't even call it that here in the US. So there's three terms you could play, cowboys and Indians.

you could play armies we could hear japs in english but the most common if you were running around with guns was japs in english because i'm just thinking like japs in english is like we the the the european theater was way more prominent for the uk well not necessarily because we still we had the we had the empire then so there was still the and and and and i think especially if again i i don't know this for certain but regional areas of the uk even even when you go to working man's clubs

Some of the drinks are a bit obscure. I can't remember what the drink is, but in Burnley in Northern England...

they have this really like obscure drink because the local battalion in World War II were based in North Africa. So they picked up a taste for this like liqueur. So it became like a tradition. People would have that with a beer and a chaser of whatever it is. So if you have like a local regiment who spent most, like if you think of 80% of the town of the fighting-age males went to Burma

or in that theater of combat. When you come back, that's why they're calling it Japs in English or whatever, and armies. Okay, so not like specific like World War II Pacific theater, but like other ventures. No, no, World War II specific. Really? Oh, really? So it's all like, because it's all, if you think about when I'm young, like you could think the council estate street where I lived, it's like the street of say 100 houses, not even that.

But you could probably say that more than 50% fought in the war. So at that age, because my grandma and everyone else is still there and they're still kicking it and they all did their bit. So that would definitely perfuse into the rest of the kids and everything. So it's like saying stuff and whether it be even in slang, like for example, in, in UK and maybe it's died out a bit now, probably be making a resurgence because of immigration. But the, um,

Like a term of... Why are you laughing, Eli? It's a term for women, like a slag term for a woman is a bint. Especially in Northern England, saying, oh, a couple of bints. Or the Arabic for woman or girl is bint.

So because that's, and to shoof, they say, I'll give us a shufti at that. That's like a slang term. But the verb in Arabic to look is to shoof or something like that. So it's from all this activity in World War II, they come back with slangs. Funny that's come back around recently. But even so, the parachute regiment is something I still to this day, and I don't think they teach it anymore anymore.

Because I remember when I was in the SAS, this was probably 2012, asking guys who just got into the SAS from the Parachute Regiment, do you know what the regimental battle cry is? Do you know what battle cry is? Oh, yeah, I do. You have to do a battle cry. For those who, when you're charging the enemy, scream something like... Dude, show me your war. Yeah, so it's a battle cry, but the Parachute Regiment has a regimental battle cry. And it's kind of a twisted joke, but it's Wahoo Mohammed.

and even and used to see old guys from World War II if you saw you wearing a parachute regiment shirt they'd look like oh Mohammed and you'd know that that guy was like a World War II vet or a veteran of the parachute regiment where'd it come from because when they were fighting the North African campaign all

only like the locals would always go, "Wohomohamed" to them is like a greeting. So they go, "Wohomohamed." So they took it as a sick joke. So when they were bayoneting Germans, they'd be going, "Wohomohamed" as they were bayoneting them and stuff. - It's fucking hardcore. - But if it's always- - How you doing? - It's like a black joke, it's like black humor. 'Cause that was the normal greeting that everyone, the locals and everyone say, but it became, I got taught that

is there's a regimental battle cry and it's, "Waho Mohammed?" "Waho Mohammed!" But that's what they turn it into a joke, like saying, "Being it," and people will... Storming machine gun bunkers shouting, "Waho Mohammed!" - Did you have family that fought in the North African campaign? - No. But that's where the... So another interesting fact about the Parachute Regiment is their nickname is the Red Devils. And it's not because they wear maroon berets. It's because in North Africa,

The sand's red, similar as in Kenya and other places. It's got red sand. So when they were charged, after fighting, they'd be covered in red dust. And the Germans said that the paratroopers were coming at them like red devils. Oh, that's fucking gang. Dude, that's when you know you're making an effect is when you're called like,

Red Devils because the way you look coming into battle. In the name of the Marine Corps, the American Marine Corps, the Devil Dogs. It's a similar situation. I fucking love that shit so much. I don't know what the original, we've come on a long journey, but what was the question? I don't even fucking know. I just got a history lesson. All the audience was like,

Well, I hope that people... These motherfuckers are autistic and shit, so they're just like, just happy. But what I hope as well is people in the UK are watching this and people in the Parachute Regiment, because I think some of this hasn't been taught anymore. Maybe it has been, and people will comment about it, I'm sure. But this is what we used to get taught, and it's something I was fiercely proud of. It was like regimental history, both SAS and the Parachute Regiment.

I didn't get taught when I was in the, well, the parish regiment stuff I got taught in the military, but the SAS stuff I knew before I joined. And it's just, it's quite sad, you know, when any sort of history dies away. Oh, yeah. Whether it be positive or negative, because we learn from it and we evolve and we,

And a lot of it is a good example, again, is like, well, nobody talked about it. Nobody talked about it, but it's such a good example of like black humor is we're going to have this regimental battle cry, which will survive longer than most of the people who fought in the campaign did. Well, it does now.

because I'm bringing it back to life is Muhammad and it's having this sick joke of when you're being in someone going like a cheery thing going hey how is it doing like Muhammad if you need just an idea for you if you did a shirt that just said that yeah that's a fucking dope ass shirt I guarantee the Chinese are already fucking on it right now because of this right here they'll be linking it in the fucking Twitter bio Muhammad

I do accents all the time. But, but, but there's a thing. Cause I remember a friend of mine, um, he was doing some extra work when he was on leave in the parachute regiment. He had a, had a vest on a lot of guys in the parachute regiment have like the parachute regiment cap badge tattooed on them. I, I, I don't have mine covered. And then, um, and then, uh,

And he's doing some work on a building site. And some old guy was like, whoa, Mohammed. And it's like, cause he saw the tattoo. He saw the thing. And it's like, oh, dude, it's one of those experiences. Ah, man, I love like just the lore behind like history in general and learning about it. I know also I was talking to fat electric Nick today. Hi, Nick.

He actually wants to do just a video on you, how he does his history breakdowns. He's like, ask him if I can do a history segment on him. Yeah, because I had no idea that your lore, so to speak, with the British military went back that long. I would suggest that, yes. I mean, there's lots of, like, traditions and, like, customs that go back hundreds and hundreds of years, older than this country. Yeah.

We don't hold that 1770s bit against you, by the way. No, I don't. And then this is... Several year period was a little awkward, but aside from that, we've all been very good allies. This is where I show my true colors. And probably that's the right term for it. I remember someone commented on social media saying...

hey, I'm glad, I think it was a Black Rifle post or something, and someone said, we're glad you weren't around in 1776. Yeah, 100%. And I said, well, I'm trying to become an American, so I was probably a turncoat anyway, so it doesn't matter. My favorite post, I think, ever on social media was yours, you know, it was July 4th, and you said, happy treason day. Yeah, all right. Joe Jericho, he's a good friend of mine, he gave me that T-shirt.

and I was like, I thought I'd wear it. But I love the, again, hopefully people could see the joke in it. I'm there and I've got a cup of coffee and I'm holding like an assault rifle going, happy trees and things. I hope people got the joke of it. And yeah, but that's what I lead into is like some of the stuff like my logos and some of the products I'm doing. My favorite one or one of my favorite designs is I call it the Blackbeard Boarding Party.

And it's the skull of the Blackbeard pirate, but it's got a hatchet and a flintlock crossed. And I say it's like because that's what it's got, like 1770s vibe to it of like going against the authority with flintlocks and hatchets. Yeah. I love it. So...

Kind of like that right there. Almost like this. When did you get this design from? This is the... Oh, this is yours. Yeah, so this design is... So I was wearing a patch with a black beard flag, which is kind of like this. And then we just tweaked this. So this is the design of me running into the hotel room.

an area of the hotel there's like iconic photograph and then we tweaked it to make it look like it was up because it's up and it's got like a chalice in one hand and then we just sort of twisted it my good friend Travis I had the idea with it

And then because I'm not talented with artwork and stuff like that, and then I get people, old friends of mine supportive to say, hey, I've got this idea. Can you do this? And then he uses his expertise to then tweak it and fine tune it. Now, before we go into the story, a lot of people have heard, and I've actually tried to not hear as I'm going in as...

as possible going into the big one. But you have like the Ministry of Defense. You actually carry around something particular for that MOD, right? Bring it out. I've got it over there. Oh,

never mind don't bring it watch this magic trick connor oh magic connor big shout out to king trout i'm sorry were we not supposed to say your first name again no i don't think so i've got my my company i've got a company called the ministry of defense and it's this company that's evolving right now we're we're selling some merch which is like official branded

chris craighead mod t-shirts and baseball caps and other bits and pieces the other thing we're doing are these we call them armor upgrades which is a esv english english standard version bible and uh we just we're just launching some of these again this is one of my logos cross but says uh send me in it

And the whole idea is all my life was, not all my life, from 1999, I carried a Bible in my equipment and that same Bible all the way through till I retired. So it's in a lot of combat operations. And, uh,

And the line I said, it was in there. And did I pull out and read it? I don't think I even, I did read it initially because there's still tabs in it. I read a lesson in church from that Bible because I had the big grand Bible in church. And I said to the Padre at the time, I goes, I don't want to use that Bible. I want to use the one I carried on missions. So I had this little tiny little Bible and reading out of that. And it's like this whole thing about, you know, like, did I need it? Like on my belt, I carry, I used to carry a pistol, fighting knife or a hatchet.

hand grenade, spare magazines. Did I need them every day? No. But like that Bible, it was there if I did need it. So that's why. And the other thing as well is people will say, oh, Bibles or whatever, and well, it doesn't really matter about your religious sort of viewpoint. Because one thing I did see, and there's lots of stories in this history of guys used to scoff at me for being like a practicing Christian or whatever. And then we're getting ready, for example, to invade Iraq.

And then the bar leaves a load of crosses out on the table. Next morning, they're all gone. I'm like, all right. So all these people who were like, ah, religion starts all wars and yada, yada, yada and everything. Sometimes you need every, every, every bit of help you can get. And that's what they reach into it. So yeah,

So I like to think that people will buy even if they're not, even if they're not going, you don't have to go to church or you don't have to be like a practicing Christian. It's like, like I say, that's why I call it the armor upgrade. Yeah. It's there if you need it. And if you don't need it, then that's good in some ways. And real talk, even if it's not like something that you wholeheartedly believe in, there's a lot of wisdom in there. Yeah. And I call it the handrail. Yeah.

A little bit of history. Yeah. One would say, yeah. I call it the handrail because that's what it is. It's like when you're walking in the darkness or you have that handrail and that's what it's there for. You can use it 100% and live by it 100% or it's just there if you need it. And sometimes when the journey's steeper or the journey's darker, the handrail's there.

Because if you don't hold it there's a chance that you get drawn into the darkness and the other thing as well from the hand Reels there are things out there that's gonna drag you into that darkness So that's why it's that's why I call it the hand reel, you know use it as you need it But it's there if you do need it and I think it really ties in with like the main story Because you have some amazing segments. I know talking to Shane and you earlier about it like so it's so dope and

But before that, because we can tie this in beautifully, you're driving. Oh, jeez. My boy. So. It's one of my favorite stories. I'm just going to warn everyone how things about to get ugly. If you're a Texan watching, stand by. I'm coming for you all. That feels like a very valid threat right now. Ow, I feel threatened.

That's not a letter. That's a threat. So come on. I'll open it to you. Comment on my driving. So we were in Arizona doing skydiving, jumping out of planes. I was never done this. You've done it a whole bunch. How many jumps have you done? Like, I haven't done many since then, but over a thousand jumps.

Oh, God. So you're looking at Eli, you're like... I'm okay. We got King Trout right now. I'm just like, what the fuck? You're looking at Eli, you're like, oh, we're not getting shot when we land? All right. We... I'm deathly fucking terrified because I haven't jumped out of shit. And then I go in the tube, I look like a bag of shit flapping around. I'm like, how did they control themselves in the air? And then, like, fucking Christian's in there. He's like, okay, I'm not...

like doing flips, rotating. You're like, fuck you, you British fuck. What the fuck? But driving, we had this like 30-minute drive, 20-minute drive. Yeah. And now... We'll hear his story, then I'll tell the truth. So, and you don't have many big vehicles like trucks like Americans do, correct? No, no. Like over a seat. Yeah, I mean, everything...

Like, everything is smaller over there. Everything's bigger in Texas, bro. But it doesn't matter. Anyway, go on. Carry on. I'm already feeling myself getting really defensive. So, fucking homeboys driving for us. We just drive back and forth. And it's an open desert road. We're, like, going over there. And I look over. I'm like, bro, fucking relax. Dogger's just in the middle of nowhere. He's like...

death knuckling the steering wheel i was like relax he's like i am relaxed i'm like doesn't look like like death so so for the record death knuckling means having two hands on the steering wheel you've got white knuckles in your veins in west texas it is like a an act of god for me to have one hand on the steering wheel and that's the thing is people like driving like there's a friend of mine i'm gonna drop his name even uh he's called tony

and he used to drive and he's like sat like that and he'd be like talking to you with one hand on the wheel like drinking a cup of tea or something and going yeah and like eyes eyes on the road please Tony and he's like what and he's like sat like not even legs forward like with one like probably edge of his foot on the accelerator going like that yeah

And all the road bumps in between are just coincidental. I drive with two hands on the wheel. Normally it's a thing and people will joke and go, no, you just look like you've passed your test because I drive with two hands on the wheel and I take them off to do maneuvers and most of the time I've got two hands on the wheel and that's just a thing. I love how you're already like,

oh, stop doing this. Maybe, hey, it might be a thing because one thing I do know is when people take photographs when I'm not looking, I've got my fist clenched, which probably there's some psychology behind that about going, but I'm looking and I'm like, oh, when they're off guard, I'm like, and then, sorry, on guard, I'm like, and then off guard, you'll see and I'm like,

I'm like, look at my hands. I'm like, why knuckles? Yeah. It looks like he's going to punch the windshield with both hands holding the steering wheel. Yeah. But then it was, yeah, okay. Continue, please. So we call him out on that. We just start making fun of Josh about it. And going to speed limit, I was like, dog, it's like, you can go 10 over here. Like, fucking go. Just go a little bit faster. This. And then watching him park.

The big-ass vehicle under just a tight parking spot. There's the rear camera. He has us making fun of him driving. So naturally, he just hates everything right now. And we're like, back up. It's good. Just do it. Just do it. So with that, I'll own up there. Like parking then, I've only just started to get used to using cameras. I'd still be using the mirrors and stuff. But I'm better. And I remember someone who was very dear to me once. I was parking in the car, and then...

and there was next to a wall and I said, oh, it looks like the wall's moving and she was like, what the fuck? What, the wall's moving? And I was like, no, I said it looks like the wall's moving. I'm not claiming the wall is moving. I'm like, but that was that and, but yeah. You got out. Are you finished? You got, no, wait, hold on because you had me park the fucking vehicle. I didn't have you. You fucking liar. You got out, remember? Yes, you did. This has not happened. You got out of the vehicle. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. You got out.

For the second time in podcast history, there's about to be a fucking fight breaking out. No, there's not going to be a fight. I'm just going to give someone a bin. And they're just like...

That's the intro. I swear to God, I swear to God. I fucking put this to you now. I put this to you. Au contraire, au contraire. It's that no one has ever parked a vehicle for me. I think I got out and I joked and said, someone parked the vehicle for me. But I got back in that vehicle and I parked that.

Just so for the record. And I know I'm right and you're wrong. That is such a like a prison like hold my pocket story. Park this vehicle for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or I thought more in prison of like hold my coffee. Someone's going to get shanked. Someone's going to shank. We have very different prisons. Are you finished now? Yes, I'm finished. So here's what really happened. Sorry.

No, because you forgot about the stop signs because at that time I hadn't been coming to him I've been coming to America is like I'm training and stuff But I hadn't really that was like the first steps of my journey into becoming a resident here So again, some of the driving thing was unusual to me So the stop signs were like it was either I wouldn't stop because I was like fuck I've just gone through a stop sign or I'd say it about 30 yards away and then slam the brakes on and like everyone come to the front and

So that added a factor to the driving experience. So your insurance was very expensive. Oh, no, it is. Even now, it's super expensive. Like, it is really expensive. Because I just took my Texas driver's test a few weeks ago. Well, it's a few months ago now, which I felt really sort of an injustice.

Because they really didn't like you driving in the left side of the road? No, no, it's fine. Because legally you can drive. On the British license, you can drive in Texas. But it doesn't transfer over. So if you want to get a Texas driver's license, you have to do the test. And I've been driving, and I have to say this, and I've driven all over the world.

And the worst drivers in the world, I have to say, without fear of contradiction, are in Texas. Yeah. The worst in the world, more than anywhere. Have you seen my new shirt? And this is the thing. So when I went to do the test, I was like, kind of not, I honestly thought, again, and it's credit to the people, I won't say the company because they are really good, is I went there and I thought, oh, you've been driving here 30 years. Okay. Nod, nod, wink, wink. Because that's what I heard might happen is they'll say, yeah, you can drive. We know you can. Just drive around the car park and park up.

uh-uh. So I turn up in a Porsche, just put it on there. And then they said, do you want to use your car to drive? I was like, yeah. And I think it's going to be that. And then she says, can you help me with these ballards? And I'm like, all right, we're going to do parallel parking. So we put them into the

trunk or the boot and then we uh and then we do that and then she goes right you're ready and then she gives us the rules this is what we're going to do if you go one mile and over one mile and over over the speed limit it's an instant fail all this jazz and i'm like wow fuck this is this is really happening i'm doing my driving test so i pull away we do the driving test do the power and parking i kind of nearly ace it i dropped one point for something and then uh

But yeah, but that's the thing. I was in my mind, I was thinking, if I fail this,

I will be outraged because seeing the worst drivers in the world are out there and you failed me. I didn't. So this gives, and I would not have said, I would not be saying this. I would not be bad mouthing Texans right now. Had I not done my driving test, but now I've done it. It qualifies me to say. That is the most British thing I've ever heard. Holy, like, holy moly. It's like, it's bad. And I know a lot of Texans. You got a license to bad mouth this license. I'm like, I did something really British the other day, like really British. And, uh,

it was some guy, some douchebag, and I did something. And I was just, you know when you're, I'm trying to get in that lane, you know I've got to, and he just sped up. And it really got to me. So I accelerated in front of him, then I put the window down,

That window. And I put my hand out and made like a wanker sign. That would have so confused me as an American. I was like, you jerking off a ghost. It was like my natural. Jerking off ghosts out here. My natural. You fucking wanker. And I like stopped and I like laughed. And then I got to, I was driving to Staccato.

Yo, darling, I was on my way home and Harry Potter just told me to jerk off. And there's a good friend of mine, Lily, who works... She's a dear friend of mine, Lily, who works at Staccato. And she was born in the UK and I said to her, I came in and went, I don't know what came over me. I said, this is the most British thing ever on the road. So I told her what I did and she was like laughing going... She wouldn't have... She said...

Whoever you did that to didn't have a clue what you were trying to tell them. So that's fine. I would have not known. But the point is, yeah, and when I mentioned this to Texans, and like I live in Texas, I love this state, and as I said it before, it's one of the best things about living in Texas is, you know, I'm just in this country. I haven't been here long, but I do feel superior to everyone else in the country. And... LAUGHTER

That's going at the beginning. Another thing at the beginning. But no, it's great being in Texas. I love this state. And I say this story about driving, but as much as I love this state, it's one of the things about the driving. And then other Texans will say, well, it's because of all the transplants. You mean Mexicans? I don't know. It could be anyone. Californians, probably. Okay.

And then I do live near Austin, so, you know. Touche. A bunch of failed actors from L.A. So there's that. But this is where the ones who get me is like the Doolies.

Oh, you're not. Dang it. I was hoping you got... What were you saying yesterday? Doublies or something. Yeah, you were like, what are they called? The doublies? Yeah, the doublies. The doublies? So those douly drivers out there. The douly drivers, and you see these big Texans, and you can see them with their... I imagine them. They've got their Czech shirts on, and they've got their... You're describing Cody right now. What's your index?

And if this kept up, they'd have their oversized jeans with their... There's the same amount of tyres, but like double of them. So the doolies, and like, it's not, I'm not Captain Jack Sparrow. And then...

And then, and then, so you got the, but you have heard of me. And then you, so you got the duty drivers and then these big, you see these big, big Texans with a check shirts on. And if they step out of the oversight jeans with their boots on, with the big bell cogos and they've got, and straight away, I look at them going, you have fucking tiny, tiny, like,

The smallest heart. That's what I'm saying. That's why I call the big little Texans. The big little Texans? Yeah, like big men with big little men. Cody, do you have a belt buckle on right now? I have a fat...

He's a man of his word and his girth. What have I heard? You're a man of your word and your girth. But do you have a big belt buckle on right now? No. Damn it. We have King Trout over here. He's like just the biggest belt buckle right now. And just so we say, I'm not saying, it's more about dualies rather than belt buckles. And I am going to do it on the Ministry of Defense. We are pro.

probably going to do a bell buckle. Yes. So send me bell buckle. I would love, I would rock one of those all day long. We all would rock one of those. Now this, okay. So going through the, your terrible driving,

Wow. Kiki. Boom. You have a funny car. But Eli's either trying to hit on you or get you to kill him. I'm not sure. Both. The driving segue leads into your drive to, well, you, you're born identity driving to the event, but leading up, you had a, a gentleman in a business suit that you've never experienced before.

leading up to the countdown of the day. Can you go into... Because, dude, you will see, this is fucking mind-blowing shit. Like, mind-blowing shit. This sounds like Craigslist classified, so I'm not really sure what you're talking about. Yeah, where are we going, Eli? So, I think the story is... I've told it before on different podcasts and things. It's...

So most people know that the reason why I'm sat here now is because I did intervene in a terrorist incident in 2019, which was the most remarkable day of my life and something I felt I'd been training for since the moment I was born. And that morning of the attack, I was living in Africa and I was doing my own bit of shooting, finished my training, my own training, and then was driving back into the city

I was driving my pickup truck and then as I was going towards the city, there's what I call the main, but it's a dirt track. I pulled onto a dirt track. On this dirt track, it was commonly seen Maasai tribesmen or workmen working on the Chinese rail link. So it was weird for me when I pulled out there to see this short black guy wearing a smart business suit and highly polished shoes walking down the track.

And then something compelled me against all procedures, against common sense. I don't pick up hitchhikers. I stopped the car and went, hey, do you want a lift? And he comes running over. Thank you so much. Get in the car. So then we start driving. And he said to me straight away, he said, what's your name? I'm Chris. He tells me his name. And then he said, well, how old are you? I'm 43. That's how old I was at the time. He said, I'm 43 too. When were you born? I was like, September.

I'm born in September. I don't know what day, but what day were you born? September 15th, he's at. This is a good sign. In September 1975, you and I were both born. Says some other stuff that I don't really recall and reaches into his pocket, pulls out this long dagger. I don't feel any threat whatsoever. I feel completely chill about it. And I joke and say, you're not going to kill me with that. And this is like a long curved dagger with a double tip, unusual looking thing.

and he's oh no i carry this when i walk down this road in case i come across any evil spirits or demons and then he chuckles to himself puts it away i then turn to him and say judging by how you're dressed i take it you're going into the city he's like no he goes drop me off at the first village we come to don't go inside the village drop me off before we get into it remember this is in africa so it's like a like mudhuts wriggleton tribes and and so we come to this farm said this village is yes so bring the vehicle to your stop

He then opens the door and steps out. As he steps out of the door, everything changes. His foot hits the ground. And as soon as his foot hits the ground, his face changes. And when I mean changes, it's still the same person, but it's a bit like if I insulted you badly. And he's like, what? His face changed. He's like, Chris. And then his voice changed. And it wasn't...

The way I described it is it was quiet but loud and I could hear it everywhere. So it wasn't as if he was just coming from one direction. It was everywhere around me and I could feel it in my heart vibrating. It's like, Chris, may God bless you many times this day. And then all of a sudden snaps out of it. Thank you, thank you so much, thank you so much. And then closes the door and I drive off. And for the record, about 150, 100, 150 yards down the road, I look in the mirror, can't see him again.

And I kind of thought about it a little bit then, but I didn't think about it that much. But 30 hours later of the most remarkable day of my life, before I'd even left the complex, his words were echoing in my mind going...

wow and that was what where did that come from who was our message from fucking crazy like though and that started the countdown of how many how after that event how much longer so that would have been roughly about 10 30 11 11 a.m and then the terrorist attack happened at 3 30 or 327 and then um

So the clock was ticking from then. And everything after that was perfect. In my life, I've always said it, that I always consider myself unlucky to a certain point. And if someone had said, on your watch, this terrorist attack is going to happen, then I would say, oh, that's going to be the day I'm going to be out of country or I'm going to be doing something else and not get involved with it. But actually, everything from that moment was perfect for the next days. Everything was perfect.

Like second perfect because after that I went and got a haircut. Got my haircut. Then I went to lunch, had Moroccan beef for lunch and a dour cocktail. Then I went home and had a shower. And the moment I stepped out of the shower, put my jeans on, that's when the phone rang to tell me that someone was saying, hey, there's a terrorist attack going on. No shit. So you had a cocktail, you just took your shower and you're like... Yeah, I went to lunch, went to get my hair cut, had a haircut.

then went to a bar that i used to like going to all the time really great place um and got a cocktail got a got lunch had a cocktail with it drove home got in the shower did some chores first got in the shower stepped out of the shower put my jeans on put a t-shirt on phone rang looked at the phone wasn't going to answer it initially then thought tell whether i'll answer it and then it was a friend of mine who was in the complex saying

there's a terrorist attack going on there's a complex a complex terrorist attack going on at 14 riverside drive you need to get down here so you weren't in the area i was close to it i lived luckily i again everything is is it chance or not it was i lived fairly close to the area this is the story that i heard uh over and over like just tells you how like media disseminates information i always was told that you were there

You just happened to be there, but you actually heard about it and decided to go in. Yeah, and that's when I jumped in the pickup truck and then drove there. And then what was the drive like leading up to, like, hey, getting there? Because we were talking about it earlier. So this is the thing. It's like when I get in, so I hadn't been living there long, so I didn't even know where it was. So I put it on Google Maps, where is it, distance, not that far. And again, I'm trying not to give away people where people live and stuff, but the distance, it would...

I did that drive on a Tuesday afternoon, which is when it was, after the event, and it took me over an hour to get there. Whoa, okay. On a normal day when the whole city's coming to a halt, it took me 15 minutes to get there on the day. And I used my advanced driving techniques that I'd been taught

And then I was like driving on the sidewalk. I was going in and out. And the thing about advanced driving or high speed pursuit driving, as it's called in the police, is it's not about driving fast. Part of it is, but it's about knowing when to make the move and when not to make the move, when to go for it, the gaps to see, because everyone can drive fast, sort of. That's when you're going to get killed or kill someone else, which is never good.

So this is the basic 101 San Antonio driving course. Get there, yeah. It's just get there. Get there and don't die. And that's what it was. So I was driving high speed, getting as fast as I could, get there, because as it developed, and I kind of sensed it at the time, but what was happening, it was every second counted, every second counted, so I had to get there as fast as I could.

because this collapsing timeline and then what so what uh you were describing it to us music popped on during this so i again the funny story is it was like again it's an extreme drive i'm driving there i'm trying to call people trying to make people know to know to know uh success part of that thing is trying to get in touch with people i'm turning up the volume because i don't know if i can hear them or not but i'm trying i'm driving for my life i'm driving like i've got to get there

but I'm not going to kill anyone and I'm not going to kill myself. Not until you get there. But somehow I had this, because it was a new truck, and I had a classical music playlist.

and somehow I engaged with the music going into the floor. So you're on like fucking hold music for us. No, no, no, it's more that it's better than I click and all of a sudden this music starts blaring and because I'm like got two hands on the wheel trying to like drive, I can't, I'm not going to mess around trying to turn this off and all of a sudden Vivaldi's Summer starts blaring through the music and I'm,

doing these movies, like going in between trucks and like everything. It's like, and there's a certain point, there's the comedy of it. I start laughing because I'm thinking this, I'm living in my own movie here. You've forever formed an anchor to that song for the rest of your life. That song, that should be, is that royalty free? Yes, sir. Editor, fucking put it up, dog, because it's royalty free. He already has. He's been doing it since he mentioned it. So yeah, and that's the...

And that's the, that was playing it. So it's a good soundtrack into that. And it was just like, I was laughing going, this is, I'm like living in my own movie. You are the main character. That's what, uh, your Casey and I said, yeah, bro. Yeah. I was, I was talking to Casey and I sat earlier and he was like, bro, you're hanging out with the main character. But what, what kills me about that too, is just like, you want to go into the Texas DMV and be like, I know how to drive. And they're like, do you know how to drive? Yeah.

You've only gone through every fucking course in the world to know how to defensively and offensively drive. Meanwhile, they give a license to every post-Quinceañera citizen of San Antonio. And I've got to admit, though, when they said, when she put the ballads out to Powell Park, my heart was, like, picked up a bit. I'm going, oh.

Because I was in a parallel park now, but I didn't realize how big the space is when you do your text drivers test in Texas. You and every Taylor Swift American. That parking space is not a real life parking space. It's like if you're a parking trip, like an 18 wheeler, that's probably what you'd put in there. No, it's literally a football field. They're like, no, parallel park. It's like two cars, 100 miles per hour. You're like, okay. Yeah. And then I pass. Yeah.

Yeah. Good job. Yeah, but it was good and that's fine and I'm glad. What was the second song that came on? The second, after, so first song came on, that finished, then the second song came on and that would then, and then I'd reached my destination. The second song was...

I'm not sure if it's pronouncing this right, Dance Macabre. Another classical piece. It was a classical playlist that I had. And the second one that came on was Dance Macabre. And for anyone out there, when we're saying he was like, Christian was driving, fucking, you're like going in between vehicles. You're going on the curb. You have closing gaps and you're like fucking gun it, going through this shit. Yeah, that was the second song. Yeah.

And then I'd reached my destination. So now the fucking, you kick open the door, you grab your kit, you're throwing it on. And are they coming to you first with the information or how did that go? No, there's no one there. It's quiet. And I thought the whole idea of this podcast was not to talk about the incident, but... Yeah. We all had the fucking rules of engagement from the very beginning, but here we are. But some of these were, like, even these things. And that's the thing is, I drove into this area, saw the burning cars,

There's cars that have been set on fire by hand grenades. Use that as a demarcation line. Okay, I'm not going to go further than those cars. Parked up, threw some kit on. Not the kit. I had more kit in my car, but I threw that kit on to look official and then see what's going on. And then canted forward to the entryway to the complex to see what was happening. And then the rest is history. And the rest is history. And it's leading up to that. Jesus Christ. Yo, hand grenades set shit on fire.

I thought it was more fragmentation. I mean, whatever, but they were throwing grenades or something. And they, yeah, originally people thought there was a car bomb. It was like a diversion type thing. But it wasn't intentional. It was just, they were throwing grenades and shooting at people and things. And somehow the cars set on fire. Jeez.

So, yeah. Eli, you want to bring it up? No, because there's like the information. Eli, is there any other PTSD at this table that you would love to just delve into? I want to extract all your PTSD right now. No, it's the information on like the religious things on, because you had like the feelings inside. It's not like the event itself happened. You've told that story a million times.

It is the feelings and stuff that you've not touched based on. You're like, okay, like when you were singing the song, like, Hey, like right now, Hey, this is about to happen. Or what was the feelings in there? Those little like, um,

I know Shane was talking about it. It was like, you had these little like moments you would look around and you're like, well, this is like, it's more of a, cause that was a religious experience. Cause to add to it for that, like the, the story I was always told, like from somebody on the outside looking in just from headlines, you were a guy who was there and did the right thing.

But I didn't realize that that was a conscious choice you had to make and you had to go out and seek that out. I think the bottom line is, without going into the detail of the incident itself, is I went there in a role to, because I heard it was going on, and at the same point I heard a woman scream and I heard a burst of gunfire and the scream just got cut off in mid-scream. And I went, in my mind I was like, someone's just been, she's just been murdered.

And I turned to them and say, right, I'm going in. And then the rest is history. The rest is history. And then you have... And then 22 hours later, I walked out of it. And there's all those religious... 22 hours. Yeah. So, yeah, 22 hours later, I walked out. The incident was done by then, but I wasn't just in, out. It was...

And then what I did in between is for, you know, that's between me. I mean, lots of people know because I've briefed a lot of people, police, military, there's people out there, everyone knows. So I'm sure eventually people are going to be talking to people and saying, hey, what happened? And saying, well, we've heard the full brief and we know exactly what happened, what he did, who he talked to.

his role in this whole incident. It's not for me to talk about right now, but the information is out there. And I'm sure, like I say, we see information, we see videos, we see things that I have no control over coming out all the time. And as more time goes on, people are looking for these people saying, hey, were you in the police or were you in the military and had a brief by Christian Craighead about what he did? Yes. Do you know what he did here? Oh yeah, this is when he did this and this is when he did this bit and this is this bit. So yeah,

This was all authorized when I was in the military, but that information is out of my control and out there. But I could sit here and tell you the whole incident and they'd just be upset with me, but I'm sure that information will come out on its own. I would never ask you to divulge that information here of all places, but it shows how much there's a discrepancy between the public opinion

I guess the public idea of what happened versus what actually happened. Because in my mind, from just somebody that has been reading headlines, I think of this whole incident as taking place over maybe two, three hours. Yeah, and that's... And to hear a 24-hour period, that's crazy. Yeah, I mean, I was briefing some guys in the US military unit, and that was the big thing. They were like, what the... Because, again, from their thought, they just thought it was one building that I'd run into and help save some people. Yeah. The whole scale of it is pretty epic. Yeah.

And again, it's not for me to talk about it now, but if people hear the full story, and like I say, I'm sure it will come out through people who've heard my story before, they'll be like, holy moly, that was quite, it's quite badass. And I'm thankful I was there. And that's the thing, every single evening I pray, and I'm thankful, and I always give thanks for that, was there for that moment. Like what Sarah says all the time is, you know, be the someone. Yeah.

Exactly. If in absence of it, be the somebody. And that's why I say it's your rip. Sometimes, and I've said it lots of times, is the whole world is coming down around you and you're looking, you're waiting for help to come and then you realize you are the help. And it's like, well, I guess we better...

Get on with it. And then people fell in line after because they see you. You might have those fierce hesitations we talked about in the car. You're like, you get excited for like, you're like, okay, the gunfire started. This is like, this is what I was designed for. This is what I've worked towards. This is what I'm trained for. And that's the thing. And again, it's like not taking any, like there's people like in every situation, people do things and people don't do things.

And I'm not going to be this dickhead who's going to stand and go, yeah, I'm the man and I'm alpha male and I did everything and blah, blah. I didn't. I did do it. You're acting. You are legitimately one of the most low-key motherfuckers. The humble dude is humble. We've known each other for a good minute and you are never that guy. Yeah. And that's the thing is, and I think maybe the reason for that is because I don't need to be. And that's why, again, it's my thing and I don't want to go into this veteran shaming or whatever, but it's these guys who are like,

The loud ones. Lifting boats and shit like that. Yeah. I mean, that probably... Are we going on the Sills? And that and going about being... And that's why I wanted to do this interview podcast is like, do I want to be this super serious guy all the time? It's not because I'm Chris Craighead. It's because, yeah, sometimes I'm kind of funny. I'm a normal guy. I will fuck you up if you cross me.

But otherwise, I'm not going to be this guy going, oh yeah, I've talked to Chris Craig, he's super intense. God, you would not be on this podcast if you were like that. I would have hung out with you once and I'd be like, oh. You know, they're all saying someone said I was intense once, so I stared at them until they apologized. LAUGHTER

I would apologize. Sorry, bro. That's one thing that I've always said, like, even just like from our experiences at shot shows, like, you know, Chris Craig had, Oh, he's done this. He's done that. I'm like, dude, he's always just been like the nicest fucking guy. Like you've always just been very down to earth. You've never been like, Oh, well I'm this person. You've just always been just a real fucking. And I, and I think the people who, who are there going, yeah, I, I'm,

Chris Craighead or I'm this guy who did this and I'm SAS or Delta Force or SEAL Team 6 or that and giving it big chest pumps and yeah, be the deadliest man in the room and be hard to kill or whatever. It's like you are so insecure. That's just stinks of insecurity. It's like, yeah, I'm all of that and more, but I don't need to keep reminding you. And it's like that saying, isn't it? If you keep on saying you're an alpha male, it's probably a good indication that you're not an alpha male. I'll do it 100%.

All right, I'm going to ask a question. What do you do in your free time, man? What's your go-to relaxation to get away from your head thoughts, the shit that you've gone through? I think the biggest thing now is I go shooting.

Yeah. But no, I do. Well, you know, I know some people in San Antonio if you ever want to do that. I mean, for me, physical exercise has always been a massive, like even last night, I think we talked about it earlier, that I'd be looking at some things on social media and I was like all angst and all angry and I was going to send some messages to people and I was like, oh, burn, like burn it down. And then I had a good night's sleep, good workout in the morning. And then I was like all chipper. I'm like, oh.

How's everything going? And that's the big difference. And then riding motorbikes really like sorts me out. Riding motorbikes fast, shooting guns and skydiving. They're things that really like bring me down to a level. And I don't do the riding motorbikes and skydiving, I don't do as much as I should, but I still do it. And I really, to me, they're a big source of like focus, right?

Relaxation and that reset for you. The motorbike thing, and this is not a shameless plug or whatever, but I kind of want to say it because I think it's a good story. I had this when I was living in Salt Lake City. I woke up and I was like, I had this dream. And I just woke up and I was like, I need to get a motorbike. I used to ride a motorbike all the time. Joseph Smith part two. And I was like...

I got a religion. 450cc is a religion, brother. So I thought, get a bike, get a bike. So I get up straight away and look on my laptop and I'm like, on the MacBook and going, more bike. And I was thinking about getting a Triumph Scrambler, but straight away I'm going, like, I've always had a thing with Ducatis. So I go, Ducati, and look at Ducati Scrambler. And I'm like, oh, well, they look pretty cool.

ducati dealership salt lake city and i just jumped straight in my truck and go straight there turn up at uh i think it's euro motorsports in salt lake and i'm like hey i'm just like looking and see this ducati scrambler right there and going wow that's that's pretty sexy and uh at that point i hadn't ridden a bike in eight years and uh so i go in there and i'm talking to the guy i'm saying look i'm just looking had this like crazy thought about getting a motorbike again don't know why

I'm looking at getting a scrambler. You know, I want to see what they've developed. Remember, this is 2022. So like vehicles is hot, the heart had come by. Oh yeah, expensive. So I'm thinking, so my question to him is basically going to say, if I put my lame down phone now, am I likely to get one in like two years time or something like that? And he just looks and went, well, funny you should say that. We've just had two delivered right now. One of them's already been sold.

If you make a decision in the next 15 minutes, you can have it. And I'm like, oh, I didn't think it was going to be this soon. And I was like, I was like, to hell with it. Yeah, I'll take it. So then got a Ducati right there. And then it got delivered a few days later. I'm so jealous. And then I saw it. So they get to turn it back on. I wanted a scrambler for a minute. So the Ducati scrambler turns it with black. I got it delivered a black rifle in Salt Lake. And I'm there and I'm like, kind of like,

apprehensive because eight years since I've ridden and I must say that motorbikes seem to be a lot easier to ride now than what they used to be get on it and like holy moly this is great but then I said to my friend Phil Reed Jr. is the managing director of Dakai and he's a great guy but I told him this story because this is a thing so bear in mind I've been retired for two years but I've been in lockdown because of that two weeks to flatten the curve and

And then we... That's what we call below the radar. That is a good one. Flatten the curve. So I get on this motorbike to ride home in from Black Rifle Coffee to where I was living in Sugar House. Is it Sugar House in... Yep. That's where I was living in. I get on this motorbike and I pull away and I'm riding down the road

I start crying. I start crying because I'm like, and I said to Phil, I was like, this is this feeling that I've got of the thrill, whether it be the thrill of danger. I mean, you see me ride, it's probably thrill of danger because I'm not very good.

But I'm like, because I max it out, but I'm like carrying it down this road and it's just the freedom, the noise, you know, like the noise of the bike, the noise of the air, the feeling of the air around you, this like sense of real freedom on a motorbike that you don't get in a, I don't think you get in a car. And I'm just like, I haven't felt this way for a good few years. And I start like crying, not like bawling, but you know, like this emotional like,

Yeah, this is what it's about. It's a feeling. It's just like good. And that's why I've got such a, I think there's a, like motorbikes, it's just a thing. And I think, and those who, and those who don't ride, those who don't ride, like it's this thing if you've ever thought about, if you look, it doesn't matter how old you are, whether you've been like thinking about it, I urge you just to get on one. And even dare I say it, it's not very manly, but even if you know someone who's got one and get on the back of them,

You will see what I mean. You will feel that feeling. I ride with Brandon all the time. Yeah. No, genuinely. In the sidecar. No, in the back. I just hold him. He wraps around my tummy. It's a whole thing. No, genuinely. When I first moved to Texas years ago, that was an experience. We were at brunch, and at one point I just said, man, I miss riding motorcycles.

I fucking miss it. It's a sense of freedom. I think it's weird. It's like people, you don't get it. And I know it's like a cliche thing, but you don't get it until you feel it. And then you feel it and go,

I know exactly what you understand. Yeah, no, because it was that day. I left brunch. I went to a motorcycle dealership that was close to where we went to brunch at the time. I bought a bike, and I still have it in my garage, and maybe Connor might fucking grab it one day. You're supposed to. I bought three bikes in Texas since then. I fucking love it. I really do. I genuinely enjoy it. Boo!

Boom! The year's 2024. Do you know what that means? A new look for you. Manscaped has the 5.0 Lawnmower Ultra. That's right, the Lawnmower 5.0 Ultra is a man's cheat code to looking good, feeling good, and have all the confidence. Whether you're looking to maintain a trim or make sure everything's gone, this has you covered. Trusted by 10

million men worldwide. I actually use this. I endorse this. I use all their products. Equipped with two skin safe blade heads, a standard one for taking a little bit off the top and a new foil blade to take everything off comfortably. And for the dudes out there that want a full grooming experience, look no further than Manscaped's performance package

In that grooming kit, you get the trusted lawnmower, Manscaped's ears and nose hair trimmers, and essential aftercare products with the crop soother, ball aftershave lotion, and crop preserver anti-chafing ball deodorant. Head over to manscaped.com and use code UNSUB and get yourself 20% off and free shipping. I love free shipping. Make your balls and your spouse happy.

It's really crazy for me because I thought I had a decent understanding of the incident. And I'm realizing now the more we talk that I just had no fucking clue. And that's the, I think the tragedy of it all is, again, it's not self-gratification or whatever. It's a good story. But when people hear it, they're like, even the toughest audience in the world, which are tier one operators who I briefed this to, they're like, what?

this is like badass because most of the time when people hear things of like historical incidents they're going oh i thought he did a lot more it wasn't as busy as that all but with that's the opposite of mine when people hear what happened they're like

Yeah. That's badass. For reference, without giving away anything, it's like how many, you were injured on this mission? No. You didn't get injured on this one? Oh, you fuck. I suck at my job. I got shot doing that. Wow. Fuck, doc. You're in like those quarters. I'm out in the open and I get shot. What the fuck? I got shot in the open. So I got shot in the open before that. Well, it's just fucking interesting, you know, because like you have a certain perception of it. You think of like, okay, this thing went down.

seven seconds later or seven minutes later it's all over yeah i had no idea this took place over and the thing again and there's quite conveniently all the video footage has been taken down so that's fine and you know like i say here's gonna hear i've heard that before no problem

So I meet him. I'm then going somewhere else in London. I get in a cab, a black cab, and I'm driving in this cab and London black cab drivers are like the salt of the earth. They're good guys. They know the city and they're normally good chatter as well. When you say a black cab, what do you mean on that? Like the black London taxis.

No, we have no idea. I just thought he meant it had a low credit score. It's like a Christy life. So in New York City, you've got yellow cabs? Yeah. In London, you have the black cabs, and they're like licensed cab drivers. And they're normally great chat, they know the city, and they've got to be licensed, and they've got to do a really rigorous testing to be able to drive that cab.

And he's talking to me and I'm looking and he's in the mirror and he's like, I don't know how I hear from you. And then he goes, I think I know you. And he's like, he goes, are you in the military? And I said, I'm ex-military. And he goes, what were you in? I said, oh, because I was in a unit called the SAS. And he goes, you're that guy from Kenya. And I was like, yeah, I am. And he's like, oh, oh. And he starts and he pulls in and he's turning, he's in tears. He went...

I can't believe you're in my cab. Like I goes, got to say you are like everything, all my friends, everyone, we all love you. You are like what, what this country should be about, what it used to be about. We're all, I'm so proud. He goes, can I call my friend? My friend's like one of the biggest fans. He'd love it that I'm in your cab. So we'll try to call it. I said, yeah, I'm laughing going, yeah, call your friend, calls his friend. He doesn't answer. And he was like, I just want to say on behalf of the country,

Like, you are what makes Great Britain great. We love you. And I went, oh, thanks a lot, mate. And he goes, you don't understand what that means to me at this moment in time. Because at that time, I was going through, like, the darkest of days. In light of, again, what my friend, the actor, just told me about senior diplomats. And it's interesting, that's what you get. You get the two sides. You get the, like I say, this officer class or the established upper class going, oh, he shouldn't have done what he did. It's not his place. He could have messed things up. Versus the working class going,

You are what makes Great Britain great. We love you for that. And that's the whole thing that I hope I put this across to people.

I'm quite anti-UK. And for the record, I'm working to be a US citizen. I'm not interested in being a dual citizen. I want to do full US citizen because I'm turning my back on my country that I fought for and did everything for. They turned their back on you, though, first. Yeah, but I think the other thing as well, but here's the interesting thing. In light of the day, this was one of the things I was concerned about. Again, I think a lot more about what people think about me than I should do.

And I thought, given the people who follow me are kind of patriotic about the war on terror and about that kind of stuff, and no one's ever said, you're a traitor for wanting to be American, blah, blah, blah. Your fight's here. You should be a British citizen. Overwhelmingly, I've never heard anyone say that. They're all saying, I wish I could get out if I could. This country's fallen. Good for you for getting to America.

You've genuinely made me a more patriotic American just in the two hours we've had. And that's the viewpoint of the usual working class of the UK. They're not saying, you should stay in the UK, you should be a better UK person. You'll fight here. They're going, good for you for getting out when you can because this country's fallen. What you've done and how you stood up. It's like we were talking earlier. All of us come from...

None of us grew up well-to-do. We grew up in, like, I lived in a 700-square-foot with seven people, like, tiny house. Cody, Trailer, Brandon...

Small house. Born to a one-bedroom apartment. Yeah, we all grew up poor, and then all of us has made this different. We all did different walks in lives, but everyone just, the end goal was like, hey, I have this dream. I have this ambition. Yours was SAS, and you fucking crushed it. Cody's was, hey, military police officer, and then you're like, I'm going to do YouTube, and you fucking crushed it. Brandon, same. Brandon was supposed to be a lawyer. He dropped out of fucking law school. He's like, no, I am pursuing YouTube, and I'm going to make this fucking work.

and he is crushing it. And then he was like, I want to do Congress, and now he's crushing that, unfortunately. Unfortunately is a good word. But that's the thing is, it's just, but going back onto it, it's just a tale of, you know, like life's complex and everyone's had their views, but it's the shame of, again, of the establishment. And that's what it is, is the old man always comes back to the establishment. And, you know, I think it's fairly, like, do I support President Trump? Yes.

the way the reason why i support them is because like i've said this before on a podcast i met president trump and he thanked me and he was like and the first thing i was mouse with thank you for saving american lives

No one from the British government has ever thanked me for doing what I did that day. That's crazy. But to me, when I met President Trump, there was nothing in it for him. That's what I keep on saying to people. It doesn't matter if you support Trump or not support, if you think he's whatever or not. You can have your own viewpoint. The point is, from a human perspective, is that he...

No one, when I met him, it was in his private study in the White House. There was no media there. The British government did not know I was there. No one knew I was there. And someone just told him and said, hey, that guy that did that thing is in the White House. And he said, well, I want to meet him. And that's like an abbreviated story. And the first thing he said was, thank you for saving American lives. If there's no one there to hear that, then that kind of, to me, proves that it kind of came from the heart.

It's not the thing. He's not like, hey, make sure you hear me say that. He said it to me and no one else heard that other than the people in that room. So that kind of says something about his feelings on the incident, at least. And the reason why I think people do not like, again, it's down to the establishment. Like,

Was Trump born wealthy? Yes, but he wasn't born into that class, if that makes sense, if people don't know that. And maybe I'm speaking offhand here and maybe I'm speaking out of lane and maybe you should research this yourselves, but it's like there's a difference between you can be born rich, but not in the establishment and you can be born poor, but still in the establishment and they look after their own, so to speak. And if you're not part of their gang,

You know, that you're not part of the gang. So that's that. You are just, you're probably my favorite podcast guest we've ever had. Dude, this is what I want to put that out there. Dude, this, the, the moment, a lot of some words of how good this fucking is because you are just so well-spoken. You are humble to a degree. I'm not used to like, it is an amazing thing. And it's awesome to share you, your story, everything to the community because it, it,

It's proof that you don't have to be an arrogant asshole. You don't have to do any of that. Just chase whatever dream you are and then be humble during that journey. And life is going to throw fucking speed bumps at you, but persevere, step up. You're going to have dark times. You've, you've discussed multiple dark times. I don't know how openly, but yeah,

you still didn't give up during those. PTSD, it's those experiences that we've all have and some more than others, but you didn't let that end you or your career or your lifestyle. You're like, no, I'm going to fucking keep going. I'm going to keep pushing on. And I'm going to set the example of how dudes should be because we all at this table. Dollar for dollar, you're probably somebody that I personally know that has done the most

who has talked about it the least. I think, and I think one of the things, like, I'm super proud of this children's book, and this is not a plug, I'm just... Plug the fuck out of it. No, no, plug it, dude. This is what I wrote. I wrote this... Only two hours after I spilled white claw on it. Sorry. I'm not going to talk about how this book came about and all the rest, but it's the children's book I wrote, but one of the... What's the name of it? The Wrong Wolf. There we go. But the thing that I like, I mean, there's a lot...

all of it is me none of it was edited the only editor was my my dear friend denise she did like a grammar edit but um but it was it's all from my heart so the how it's how it's written how it's worded is me and she just did the grammar grammar edit one of the things i get to it it's kind of a biography but it's there's lots of it represents everyone in life but it's the dedication and the book this book is dedicated to all the wolves living in the wrong pack

- And this is the one thing I was like, Connor, this is a really good statement. Before the podcast started, I read that, I was like, holy shit, this is probably one of my favorite statements I've ever read. - And what is the statement? - This book is dedicated to all the wolves living in the wrong pack.

And the whole moral of the story is it doesn't matter how or when you're born, how or where you're born. That doesn't determine where you end up in life. It's such a true story. It's just if you're an individual, you can be in the wrong pack. You just have to rise above and go on your own or build a new pack. That's why I think with this group, you are part of this pack. You can lead it if you want. We're fine with it. I'm sure they all agree. Yeah.

But it is. And wherever you want to lead us, we'll just go along with it because we're scared. Wherever you want. Why are we naked? Uh-oh. Why are we carrying the boats, Chris? Why are we covered in bass when we're watching Harry Potter?

this is weird seriously thank you so much for coming on thank you for having me on seriously brother it has been an honor and a privilege to have you on uh we i you are this has been an amazing like this is probably easily one of my favorite episodes yes absolutely should we give some shout outs two shout outs do because i said should we no we give two shout outs to eli

In Georgetown, my friend Eli. I like your name. No, no, remember, we spoke to him on the phone. Oh yeah, holy shit, yes. He's a good friend of mine and I love his whole family. I won't show their surnames for security, but the whole family get on with him. But when I mentioned, I was mentioned about, I'm thinking of doing this, I'm not thinking, I'm going to do this unsubscribe. But he was like, oh, I completely watch it. So I called you and then he was like blown away. And again, that was good for me to say like, like that was the...

all right, people actually watched this. That was the dude. That text you like, are you busy? I was like, what the fuck? Why is he telling me about that? And then FaceTime, I was like, oh, oh. Hey, what's up? Yeah. And so young Eli for giving a subscriber and to Ace from...

Lucchese in, like I went to the store yesterday and I was looking around and Ace, so if you're watching, he should do because he's a subscriber and he said, what are you doing here? I said, I'm doing a podcast and unsubscribing. He goes, oh, I'm a subscriber and blah, blah, blah. So I said, I'll give you a shout out. So, and he was a great guy in the shop and- Dude, just like,

I need a new pair of boots, so I might go down there. Yeah, I mean, they're good. I mean, I don't want to say these $1,000 pair of boots, but... They're nice-ass boots. $35,000 pair of boots? Goddamn. But these are the cheapest ones, I think. Oh, shit, I'm not going to Luceze. Ariat's good by me. Luceze's boot better than your blowjob. Yeah.

That's a down payment right there. If you're watching this still, if we haven't let this bit out, Ace did a great job. Everyone else, Lucchesi, Boots, they're really nice. They're comfy. They're good. They look good. I'm not being sponsored by them at all. No. Maybe I will be, but...

but with Brandon, with Branson Cognac, Armani Jeans, anyone else we can name drop in there, Black Life of Coffee, and whoever else. Just making sure we get that AdSense revenue up. Real estate, real estate, mortgage banking, money, federal reserve. Isn't that the manager of Wrexham Football Club? Yeah. Wrexham Football Club, and you're another tale. Isn't that, oh, sorry, I rephrase that, everyone. Wrexham Soccer Club, and then that's it.

S-A-S, State Secrets. Which is like plugging everything. The M-O-D, like my M-O-D, not your M-O-D. And then all that jazz. I fucking love it. Cody, do the beauty. Close us out, you beautiful son of a gun. Thank you guys for joining the Unsubscribe podcast.

I didn't talk much, but we have Eli double fab. We have Christian Craghead. We have Brandon Herrera and myself, donut operator. Thank you so much for listening to whatever the fuck we do here. And then, uh, Mr. Christian, where can we find you? Website. Fucking sure. Plug the shit. Yeah. I mean, um,

Check out my shadow band all the time on Instagram. So you have to type in Christian underscore Craighead, press search, and then the bottom of the list, the one with the blue tag, that's me. So that's where you go. So don't type in. I think one of my fake accounts has got like 12,000 followers or something. But yeah, Christian underscore Craighead, the one with the blue tag, that's me. Is this on Amazon? Yeah.

No, it's not on Amazon. So go to bookbaby.com. And you're about to launch a new website? Yes. And my company is called the Ministry of Defense. And that's on Instagram and it's on the internet. And that's where you can buy all the merch and you'll be able to buy copies of The Wrong Wolf, but they'll be all individually signed by me.

And not only will you be able to buy merchandise, but as the company develops, if you want to do one-on-one training or any training, if you're from a special mission unit or anything...

This is where you're going to go to if you want to do any firearms or combat training with me, then you can find me there. Do you have any experience in that? A little bit. I saw some on TV. I've watched Die Hard. Hey, guys, thank you so fucking much. And then stay tuned for the after show. We will do a 10-minute segment and just hang out with our boy. We got some good who we had crushes on.

Can't wait for this. We're going to talk about girls. Woo, vagina. Woo.