Shownotes Transcript
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Resist the overwhelming urge to follow my gorgeous voice. Stay away from me, sailors. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, and I don't know why, Peter Sagal. Thank you so much, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you.
You're very kind. It's great to see you. We do have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to the great actor Sterling K. Brown, who's starring in the new series Paradise. But if you are a fan of that handsome finance guy from This Is Us, well, this is he.
But right now it's all about you. So give us a call to play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Alexis Breitnacher calling from Cummington, Massachusetts. Alexis, how are you?
I'm doing very well. How about you? I am fine. I don't know where Cummington is, and I applaud your ability to just say it without hesitation or shyness. You just said it. What do you do there in Cummington? I did just say it. You just said it. What do you do there in Cummington? So I'm the mom to 10-year-old twins, which is a thing. Yeah. And I run a nonprofit that builds affordable housing and helps small businesses. That's great. Thank you.
We're going to need all those things. We need all the things. Yeah. Well, Alexis, let me introduce you to our panel today. First, he's a comedian who will be at the State Theater down in Austin, Texas on April 17th. He also writes the weekly newsletter. That's marvelous. It's Josh Gondelman. Hello. Hi, Josh. Thank you so much. Next, she's a comedian and host of the podcast Fake the Nation, who you can see performing at TED in Vancouver next week. It's Nagin Farsad. Thank you.
And making her debut on our panel, she's an Emmy and Grammy-nominated comedian and host of the podcast Handsome. You can find all her upcoming live shows at tignitaro.com. That's right, it is Tignitaro. Thank you.
From one twin mother to another. Also a twin mother. Well, welcome to our show, Alexis. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show that you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I'm ready. All right. For your first quote, here is the President of the United States making a major announcement in the White House Rose Garden.
It's such an old-fashioned term, but a beautiful term. Groceries. It says, a bag with different things in it. That was President Trump on Wednesday explaining why he was slapping what on almost every other country on the globe? Oh, that would be tariffs. It would be tariffs! On Wednesday, April 2nd, which he christened Liberation Day, President Trump announced the highest tariffs in history...
And the world did not like it. The next day, Thursday, the Wall Street Journal actually ran out of words for how badly the stock market was tanking. It was like, Dow plunges, S&P 500 crumbles, the NASDAQ gets its junk stuck in a zipper.
I'm sure you guys celebrated Liberation Day in the manner of your own families and customs, right? It's a traditional stuffed turkey in our home. Yes, absolutely. I continued not paying my taxes. And we have stuffed tofurkey. Yeah, of course. Because you are a... Lesbian. Right.
Now, this is true. This is absolutely true. The markets cratered so badly in the 24 hours after this tariff announcement that the world's 500 richest people, including, of course, Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk, lost a combined $200 billion in just one day. But, but, wait a minute. Cat rules. But there was also bad news. Yes.
For example, the day after the tariffs were announced, the U.S. dollar became weaker than the euro, the British pound, the Australian dollar, and those arcade tickets where you need 500 to get one low pop. We are going to be running on a sticky hand-based economy soon. They're like, let's go harder with it. Really? Yeah.
And my view is, let's bring them to the United States and let's start tariffing each other. So it's like, if you're wearing cargo pants too many times a month, you're tariffed. You know what I mean? There's a lot of behaviors I think we can control amongst ourselves. Is that a fashion judgment on cargo pants? Or are you just, because it has cargo in the name, it's now imports and exports? Right.
Both. All right, Alexis, your next quote comes from legendary Chicago newscaster Bill Curtis right before the great Topeka tornado of 1966. For God's sake, take cover. That would be a lot harder for him to do now because thanks to government cuts, what is about to become a lot less accurate?
Weather reporting? Weather forecast, that's right. Thanks to cuts to the National Weather Service, weather forecasts are about to become a lot less accurate and useful. But think about it. Now, talking about the weather with your in-laws will be that much more exciting.
Who knows what's going to happen? Part of the reason for these cuts is, people believe, to eventually privatize the weather forecasting industry. So if you want to know, say, if it's going to rain, okay, that's free. But if you want to know what it's going to be raining, water, men, then you need weather premium.
So it's to privatize, you're saying? Pretty much. Honestly, as a Jew, it's just so nice to hear someone else accused of wanting to own the weather. This is like a big relief. I think bad for the country, but big for me personally. Things will be so unpredictable that people will be betting on multi-day forecast parlays on FanDuel.
And, you know, but it might be fun to like engage in like the nostalgia to the days before we had like reliable scientific weather forecasts, right? We'll have to go back to peering at the horizon from the front porch of the ranch house and saying, mama, get the cows in the basement. This is true. You know who's going to be so valuable? People with arthritic knees. Yes.
Yes, exactly. That will be our only source of knowing when a storm's coming. Yeah, that's a way for that guy to make up for the lack of social security. That'll be awesome. But you can also just the whole lick your finger thing.
Don't forget about that. It's very handy. We're going old school. Yeah, and I feel like weather veins are going to have a real moment. Yeah. And varicose veins as well. I don't know what that means. I'm putting all my money in veins after the stock market has done crashing. We're really going to, the groundhog is going to take on so much more. It really is true.
We're going to be like, I don't know. It's as good as anything else we got. We have an overworked groundhog over here. All right, Alexis, your last quote is from DoorDash. Buy now, pay later. So you now instantly take out a loan so you can afford to do what? Get takeout? Yeah, order food delivery. Klarna is a company...
Very good, yes. People are excited for you and for the possibility of going into lifelong debt for a sandwich. Klarna is a company that lets you buy things online, usually expensive items like clothing, maybe, or electronics, and you buy it on credit, and then you pay it back in installments. But now they are partnering with DoorDash,
the food delivery company, for all of you who've ever said, you know, this burrito is great, but I just wish it affected my credit score. See, I feel like this isn't new. There are many things that I have ordered and eaten that I paid for later. Yes. Although, I hope...
In many installments. I hope it wasn't in monthly installments because that would just go on too long. There goes Tig again talking about her vegan food poisoning.
Or someone trying to poison a lesbian. But they're so cute. I want to advise people who are thinking of doing this, remember to pay it back because you do not want to be the first person to get your legs broken because you're behind on a breakfast bowl. I'm here from DoorDash. They're very disappointed in you. Bill, how did Alexis do on our quiz? She did perfectly. She got them all right. Woo!
Well done. Thank you. Thank you so much, Alexis. Take care. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye-bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tig, this week, the New York Times offered their advice on how to navigate a tricky social situation. When you go to see your friend in a show, and then what happens?
You have to compliment them? Exactly right. Yeah. Yeah. The show is awful. Many of us have been there. You go to see your friend in some kind of show, whether it's a play your friend is in, your co-worker's improv show, or your other co-worker's improv show. And if the show isn't that great, what do you say to your friend when you see him after in the lobby? I'll tell you exactly what I say. I figured you guys would know. Go to. If I go to see a band that is not great, what I say...
with as much enthusiasm as I can muster, I will be like, "Man, you guys were rocking up there!"
Which is true. Right. They were rocking. Right. And that way I don't have to like really critique. I can just say, I have eyeballs and I saw you. You just reaffirmed the action they did with enthusiasm. I'm like, I saw you up there for sure. What if it's a comedian who sucked? I'll be like, you were rocking up there. Yeah.
I just lie and say that was a great show because I am a total coward. But, like, what do you have to gain when your friend is, like, in a band that plays three times a year and you're like, hey, I've got notes. Like, what do you think they're going to do? Take the notes. Because they only perform three times a year. Like, eh, eh. Oh, here's one. He is on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. He knows jazz. ♪
Coming up, our panelists relive their teenage years in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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The NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Nagin Farsad, Josh Gundelman, and Tig Notaro. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air, or you can check out the pinned post on our Instagram page. That's at WaitWaitNPR. How do you run Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me?
Hey, this is Jason Laughlin and I'm calling from Des Moines, Iowa. Des Moines, Iowa. Great place. What do you do there? You know what? I'm a recovering attorney. In a couple of days, I'm actually going to start in a master's program for mental health counseling at 50 years old. What inspired you to leave the law and go into mental health counseling? You know, law, I think, drove me to counseling and then counseling affirmed that being a lawyer is toxic.
I
I could have probably figured that out on my own, but it's nice to get it confirmed. It's nice to have you with us, Jason. You're going to play our game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Jason's topic? I feel like I'm 17 again. This week, we read about something from your teenage years that has come back, and it's not your acne. Our panel is going to tell you something from the teenage years that adults are now fully embracing. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Absolutely.
Absolutely. I admire your spirit. Let's get started. First, let's hear from Josh Gondelman. Park ranger Lou Reggiano was doing his usual rounds past Bemidji, Minnesota's famed Makeout Point when he noticed something strange. Through steamed-up windows, he could see that the parked cars weren't full of teenagers, but rather grown adults. Reggiano says he first became suspicious when he heard a passionate cry of, "'Ow, my back!' coming from a minivan."
With recent economic instability taking a toll on their finances, many adults have moved back in with their parents, causing them to revert to adolescent habits for amorous encounters. "My husband and I couldn't afford dinner out and a sitter," said a 29-year-old woman, "so this is date night away from our toddler. And not that it's any of your business, but we're out here trying for a second child."
Even more upset are local teens who have been left without anywhere to get busy. I wasn't that excited about college, but now I can't wait to go, said Jameson, a local 17-year-old. All those student loans will be worth it if I can finally get to second base. Adults forced to live at home again in Bemidji, Minnesota, making the best of it and driving their cars up to Lover's Lane to make out. Your next teenage throwback comes from Tig Notaro. The typically quiet Boca Raton, Florida retirement community...
Sleepy Shores reported incidents of senior citizens mooning fellow residents. The events began before a wholesome pickleball game as the sun went down, or shall we say the moon came up last Tuesday.
Myrtle Ashton and her longtime travel companion, Mildred Rawls, both 71, decided to revisit the mischievous and daring activity from their days of youth. The long-term live-in roommates began flashing their derrieres as speedwalkers and golf cart drivers passed their court, causing shock but mostly utter joy by fellow neighbors.
"You don't have to be 19 to show 'em what you got," said Rose "The Streak" Bowman, 94. Although there are mixed feelings amongst residents, Sleepy Shores has made it clear how they feel as they started selling unisex underwear, reading "Over the Moon for Retirement." This story is still unfolding. - Residents of a retirement community in Florida,
Pick up their old teenage habit of mooning. Your last poll from pubescence comes from Nagin Farsad.
The dental world is having a cultural moment. After years of Invisalign dominance, patients are finally getting hip to old school braces. And not just any patients, adult patients. That's right, being a metal mouth isn't just for begrudging virgins with pimples anymore. Adults are saying goodbye to plastic mouth trays and clear back brackets in favor of
full industrial alloy chompers. We're also seeing reports of respected adults making their maws festive with colorful brace bands. Green for St. Patrick's Day, red for Valentine's Day, or Labor Day's famous chartreuse.
Influencers such as Abby Clancy and Charlie James and rappers like Lil Uzi, all names that mean nothing to an NPR audience, are showing off their be-meddled pie holes on social media. But as always, beware, if two metal mouths make out, they'll both pick up radio signals. All right, so one of these things...
From our teenage years has come back, is it from Josh Gondelman, the town of Bemidji, Minnesota, where Lover's Lane has been taken over by adults who had to move in with their parents like they were still living there, so why not act that way? From Tig Notaro, a group of residents starting with long-term roommates...
in a retirement community in Florida who've decided to start mooning anybody who goes by, or from Nagin Farsad, braces the scourge of so many teenagers being worn proudly by adults. Which of these is the real story of a teenage trend coming back?
You know, all of those being so cringy, I feel a lot better about being a new student at 50 years old. Why not? I've got to go with Tig and the mooning matriarch. All right. Your choice then is Tig's story. Well, we spoke to someone who had covered this real story. I remember when I had braces in the eighth grade and I definitely didn't want them.
That was Tracy Swartz, a journalist from the New York Post, who commented on the story about adults embracing braces. I just got some grills, so apparently I'm behind. Yeah. So you didn't win. However, you earned a point for Tig in her very first time in the show, which is very exciting for her. Pretty cool. Thank you for that. And thank you so much for playing. This was awesome. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you, and good luck in the new gig. Thank you as well. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
And now the game where we ask really well-known people about things they don't know anything about. We call it Not My Job. Sterling K. Brown had been a working actor for 15 years or so when he became famous and won an Emmy for his performance in The People vs. O.J. Simpson. Since then, he's gone on to star in This Is Us, as well as the movie American Fiction, for which he was nominated for an Oscar, and now Paradise, a political thriller, or so you are led to believe...
We believe we are thrilled to have him with us now. Sterling K. Brown, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Jamie. Um...
It's an absolute pleasure to talk to you. I've been a big fan for a while, as I am of your new show, Paradise. But there's a problem, which I'm sure you are aware of, which is that there is a big twist at the end of the first episode, and it would be bad if we discussed it. So the question is, you're out there like a good guy promoting the show, which you should do. It's one that everyone should see. How have you been handling this? Like, you can't actually talk about, like, what's really going on in the show.
It is a very similar experience to promoting This Is Us. Right. Yeah. It's the same creator of the show. So I can say that Dan Fogelman created This Is Us, created Paradise. Very talented man. Love him dearly. But the whole time when you're talking about This Is Us, you're like, oh, it's a family drama. And it's got, you know, all the feels and all that kind of stuff. But if you know the end of the pilot, you're like, wait a minute.
All these people are related, you know what I'm saying? Sorry if I ruined anything for people who haven't watched this as much. It's been out for a really long time. Oh, that's the us! Oh my god! I don't know who it was about. Yes, famously, I think I can talk about this, the pilot of This Is Us, this family drama, you're having all these different characters, and then you find out at the very end that you've been watching in different timelines, and some of these characters are the parents of these other characters who are now grown into adults. How nice. So, have you tried talking about what the twist in the new show, Paradise, is not?
So, for example, it turns out that your character is James Marsden's grown son.
That would be funny. That would be, that would, have you come up with any tricks or like? Well, you know, to be the adult son of more white people I think would be going to the well. It's definitely not that. I usually just try to talk about the things that I can. The president dies in the pilot. But most folks, and you see that in the preview. Right, right, yeah, yeah. And I say that that's the tip of the iceberg. Right.
Yeah, so yeah. The whole audience going, which president? The president in the show. In the show, yeah. Everybody calm down. I have to ask you about another project you do. You do, and I believe you're coming back and doing it again, a podcast with your wife, right? I do indeed. My wife and I, Ryan and Michelle Bathay, we do a podcast called We Don't Always Agree. Spoiler alert.
Yeah, it describes most marriages. But we've been married. We just celebrated 19 years in March. Mazel tov. March what? I want to write this down.
So you had an episode where you talked about the fact that you did ayahuasca together. That is correct. That is correct. Whose idea was that? And again, I mean the podcast. It was mine. The podcast is my wife's idea. Ayahuasca was my idea.
We're both what we like to call crunchy granola black people. So we don't really fit in the box of like typical sort of things. Like we like to do what they call white people stuff. So you are on NPR right now. Yeah, I know. I'm on NPR right now. So.
That's good. That was really good. But the ayahuasca, we went to Costa Rica. It's one of the few licensed dispensaries of the medicine in the world. And I think we were interested in seeing... A friend of mine described it to me as it unlocks blind spots that you weren't aware that you had. And can you share what your blind spots were, please? Yeah.
The biggest blind spot in all is that we all sort of delude ourselves into thinking that we have some degree of control over what happens next. And really all we have control over is our response to what happens next. That's probably the biggest takeaway. You know what else is a way of finding out? Wow.
Do you know what else is a way of finding out you have no control about what happens is being on stage with Tig Notar. I want to ask you one more thing, which is I love working actors, the guys and women who put in their time, and I love asking them about the odd jobs they might have done. Is it true that before getting into acting, you were an intern at the Federal Reserve?
Yeah, that's right. That's correct. I was an economics major when I was in undergrad, and I thought that being an intern at the Fed was going to be something that led to me doing some sort of investment banking thing or what have you. And really what it led me to, Pete, was knowing that I was bored to tears working at the Federal Reserve Bank. Really? Something else, yeah. Did anything interesting ever happen at the Federal Reserve Bank while you were working there? I'm sure lots of things, but I was very low level.
You're doing seminars that are like, don't touch the money, don't sniff the money. Something like that. Do you ever find yourself, you know, since like financial policy is so much in the news, a weapon out of, well, you know, as a former employee at the Federal Reserve, I can comment. I try to comment as little as possible. Most people don't want to hear from actors about most things, so I just try to keep staying in my life. Yeah. Said the guy with a podcast. Um...
Well, Sterling K. Brown, it is a personal pleasure to be talking to you, and we have asked you here, in fact, to play a game that this time we're calling...
A retirement paradise. So your show, as we've discussed, is about a community called Paradise. Very mysterious. So we're going to ask you about a community that claims to be a paradise and isn't mysterious at all. Jimmy Buffett's Latitude Margaritaville retirement communities. Yes.
Come on now. Come on. Answer two out of three questions about what sounds like really a terrific place to be, and you will win our prize from one of our listeners. Bill, who is Sterling K. Brown playing for? Irene Chan of San Francisco, California. All right. All right, Irene. Here we go.
Here's your first question. The Margaritaville retirement community calls itself your home in paradise. And down there near the eastern coast of Florida, they offer a wide variety of amenities, including which of these? A, the hangar workshop where residents are invited to, quote, trick out their golf carts. B, Jimmy Buffett karaoke, which happens every night. Or C, a nude beach. LAUGHTER
All right, I think if you're in a retirement community, you're not trying to drop trowels. So then the first one was tricking out the golf cart. It is Florida. It's golf courses. That seems like it's going to be the answer. And it is. That's right. Yeah, like a lot of retirement communities, it's...
Because they're sort of self-enclosed, people ride around in golf carts instead of cars, and as you can imagine, drunken golf cart driving is a persistent problem down there. All right, here's your next question. You got one right. Let's go for two. Margaritaville prides itself on being a place where people, quote, 55 and better can, quote, grow old but not up, unquote, and that explains why their monthly newsletter once contained what exciting phrase?
A, Bert took over the DJ booth for Trap Music Night. B, party starts at 4 and ends when you pass out. Or C, look at all the fun our residents had at the QVC watch party.
This one, I'm believing B makes the most sense. The party starts at four and ends whenever. I'm pretty sure they might have said that at one time, but the one we saw was the fun at the QVC watch party. The line to get in the QVC watch party went down the block. Now, this is all right, because there's one more to go. If you get this right, you win everything. Okay.
Now, the founder, of course, was the late Jimmy Buffett, quite a remarkable guy with a remarkable career, and he found his musical success relatively late in life. In fact,
After years of trying and failing to be successful in music, he was just about to quit it and go into what business when he did finally have his first hit record. So, what was he going to be? A, a marijuana smuggler. B, he was going to go into private equity. Or C, he was going to go into the Catholic priesthood.
The audience is all yelling A, marijuana smugglers. I hear them. I hear Chicago. I gotta go with the crowd, baby. Let's go A. Yes, yes. He says that
He was living down in Florida and he was just about to buy a Boston Whaler to bring merchandise to the beach at night when his third album became a big hit and the Jimmy Buffett we know and love was born. Bill, how did Sterling do on our quiz? Two out of three, she reached paradise. Yes!
Sterling K. Brown is an Emmy and Golden Globe winning actor whose new show is Paradise, which you can stream on Hulu now or catch it Mondays on ABC starting April 7th. Sterling K. Brown, what an absolute joy to talk to you. Thank you so much for joining us. You're the best.
In just a minute, if you're feeling tired, Bill might send you to jail. It's the Listener Lumerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Josh Gondelman, Nagin Farsad, and Tig Notaro. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much. In just a minute...
Bill opens a limerick aid stand in our Listen to Limerick Challenge. Be careful, Bill. Those limericks have been recalled for limsteria. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. McGee, this week we learned about a new way stressed out parents are letting off steam. It's a party where grown-ups go to be able to do what?
They like yell at like mannequins that are their children because you're not supposed to yell at your children. They get it out. You're so close. I feel I have to give it to you. The answer is throw a tantrum. Just like your kids, right? Right? What parent of an out of control two-year-old hasn't looked at the kid and thought, yeah, that's the vibe I want to be given off. The concept was described by a therapist in Australia.
Alright, I have to be honest, she is described as a "life coach and breath worker". I just didn't want you to hate her yet. She calls it a "tantrum party" and it's exactly what it sounds like. There's loud music, there's pillows to hit, an adult in the corner saying, "He never does this!" Also, at some point, does someone just give you an iPad? To just shut it down? Yeah, I know.
Josh, this week the New York Times ran a piece in favor of doing what to strangers in public? Oh, good question. Well, it's New York, so it sounds like it should be "ignore them."
But is it talking to them? Actually, it's the opposite. It's what they're doing when they're talking and you think they shouldn't be. Shushing them? Shushing them, yes! Shush people in public. That's the advice. The columnist says that shushing someone once only reserved for babies, libraries, and bars that look like libraries is a socially acceptable thing to do. I would never shush a stranger. A stranger could be stabbing me in public and I wouldn't be, like, keep it down.
Right. No, no, just express yourself. What if they were shushing you because they were stabbing you? I always thought it was odd how... I know you're supposed to be quiet in a library, but I always thought it was odd if you talk that people are so on edge and are just like... They can't focus at all if they hear any word. But if you're out and about or on a subway reading, people aren't freaking out. But if you're in a library...
The best solution, really, is if you're in a situation where people are talking and they shouldn't be talking, is to quiet them the way you might quiet a baby. Pick them up and wrap them really tightly in a blanket. Now, the writer says... Swaddling. Yes, swaddle a stranger. The writer says having been... I donated so much money to that charity last year, swaddle a stranger. Josh, question for you. Josh...
Josh, this week, a boob-loved chain restaurant filed for bankruptcy. What's the restaurant? Hooters. Yes, Hooters. Hooters. It's a sad day for Hooters, America's number one restaurant cited in divorce proceedings. They struggled since the pandemic, but the final blow came, of course, with President Trump's 25% tariffs on big old knockers. Ha ha ha.
But I've never been to one. Have you guys been? I can say this in all honesty. I've never been to a Hooters. Josh? I've been to one. Yeah. I mean, I go to strip clubs all the time, but Hooters, no. Yeah, because you're a grown-up. Exactly. You're not like, what would a Mormon's idea of a strip club be? The CEO of Hooters says that... There's a CEO of Hooters? He's that cartoon wolf that goes, Oh, God.
He has an MBA. That doesn't seem possible. A master's in breast administration has his MBA. The CEO of Hooters says they'll be rebranding to a more family-friendly concept, a process he calls, and this is true, re-Hooterization. What would make Hooters a family brand? Is it that, like, you see the Hooters, but this time they're breastfeeding? Yeah.
The whole time? It's just breastfeeding the entire restaurant. Table service is so slow. Sorry, I'm breastfeeding.
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's a game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, or you can come see us on the road. We'll be at the Merrill Auditorium in Portland, Maine on June 26th and 27th. For tickets and information, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, it's Sharon Coleman calling from Standardsville, Virginia. Standardsville, Virginia. Okay, and what do you do there?
I work in the pharmaceutical biotech industry. So when you work in the pharmaceutical industry, I've always wondered, do you get all the free samples you want? Oh, not really, no. Do you get all the free samples you can steal without people seeing? No.
Sharon, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis right here is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to go? Yep, I'm ready. Here is your first limerick. You officials, and also my veep, must adjust the late hours you keep. 10 a.m. is the time. Don't nod off. That's a crime. In my cabinet, don't fall off.
Asleep? Asleep, that's right. This week, the president of Zambia warned his cabinet he will consider it a serious crime if they continue to fall asleep during their meetings. Well, what do you do when you start every one of your meetings with a ceremonial glass of warm milk? In a press conference that included a surprising amount of the word conking, the president said he had tried many times to address the issue in private with his ministers. Unfortunately, they didn't hear him because they were asleep.
As a compromise, it will only be a misdemeanor if you do that thing when your head starts nodding and you snap back up at the last instant. Do they need to look at their sleep hygiene as a cabinet or does he go on and on? Well, he says it's not his fault. He's very interesting. But he says the problem is that the ministers are going out all night clubbing. That's true. That's what he says.
Every time before a cabinet meeting? Yeah, like they're out clubbing and they come to the cabinet meeting at like 10 a.m. the next morning and they all fall asleep when he's talking. Zambia is hopping. It is. All right, here is your next limerick. His great rise hasn't gone to his head. He's still filled with whole wheat, yeast, and dread. And on German TV, he expresses ennui.
He is Bernd, the depressed loaf of... Bread. Yes, bread. This week, Germans are celebrating the 25th anniversary of a beloved children's TV character, a loaf of bread with clinical depression. It's the kind of thing that makes you say, oh, so that's why Germans are like that. The character's name is Bernd Desbrat, and he's a TV presenter who is depressed because he didn't land his dream job, the mascot for a bakery's ad campaign.
Man, when he finds out what happens to loaves of bread after the bakery sells them, he's going to be even more depressed. Did you ever get an awe because people eat bread? Even the vegans among us are not upset about that. All right, here's your last limerick. On the floor where the atmosphere is thinning, we faced north when the meal was beginning. Lift my fork to my mouth, now my view's looking south.
Because we dine while the restaurant is... Hooters? A good guess. Good guess, good guess. Rhymes with thinning and beginning. You face north and then we faced south and then presumably you'd face north again.
Winning? I don't know. Did you say it? Well, you've already won, so I'll give it to you. The answer is spinning. Spinning. The New York Times reports revolving restaurants are coming back, so now a whole new generation can experience the joy of saying, oh yeah, I think I went to one of those once.
These include the View Restaurant in Times Square, which does a full rotation every 45 minutes. It's great. I've been there, and I always say it's not truly fine dining if I'm not completely disoriented when I leave the bathroom. And some of the restaurants are reopening around the country, most with names reflecting the gimmick. There's La Ronde in Honolulu, changing scene in Rochester, New York, and right here in Chicago, Old Spinney's Bucket of Twirls. LAUGHTER I need to write that down. LAUGHTER
Well, if you're here for another day, you definitely want to stop by Old Spinney's. Bill, how did Sharon do in our quiz? Did well. Two out of three is a win for you, Sharon. Good work. Congratulations. Thanks for playing and take care. Thank you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
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This is Ira Glass. In Lily's family, there's a story everybody knows by heart. If this story had never happened... All of us wouldn't be here right now. Sammy wouldn't be here. Nana wouldn't be here. Wally wouldn't be here. Anyone that we know wouldn't be here. So what happens when Lily's mom tells her this story is not true? This American Life, surprising stories every week.
Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Sure can. McGeehan has one. Tig and Josh each have three. Oh my goodness. How am I sucking so bad? McGeehan, you're in third place. You're going to go first, fill-in-the-blank.
On Tuesday, the longest speech in Senate history was completed by blank. Cory Booker. Right. On Monday, the White House began another wave of blanks affecting employees at U.S. health agencies. Layoff. Right. On Monday, the astronauts who were stuck in the blanks spoke publicly for the first time. International Space Station. Right. On Wednesday, the CDC warned that cases of whooping blank were on the rise throughout the country. Cough. Right. This week, an AI recipe generator was flagged after it posted a recipe for a blank.
Biscuits. No, cyanide ice cream. And also, quote, actual cocaine. On Tuesday, teachers at a high school in Virginia said they saw notable grade increases after enforcing a blank ban. A phone ban. Cell phone ban, right. Known for his roles in Top Gun, Batman Forever, and Top Secret, actor Blank passed away at the age of 65. Val Kilmer. Right. This week, a man in Texas who broke into a car dealership was caught after he blanked.
Fell asleep in the car he was stealing. No, he called police because he couldn't figure out how to get out of the building. Police say there was actually several unlocked doors the man could have gone through. Reports also say the only thing he managed to steal was a handful of candy. And even worse, he somehow ended up paying an extra $700 for undercoating. Bill, I think Nagin did pretty well. Very well. Six right, 12 more, and that gives her 13 in the lead. All right. All right, Josh.
I'm arbitrarily picking you to go next. So here we go. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, despite over $20 million in spending by Elon Musk, the liberal candidate won the Supreme Court election in blank. Wisconsin. Right. On Monday, the DOJ directed prosecutors to seek the death penalty against blank. Luigi Mangione. Right. On Monday, Italy said it would tighten regulations after a huge increase in people applying for blank. Citizenship. Right. In a first for women's sports, South Carolina coach Dawn Staley blanked after making the final four for a second straight year.
Celebrated? She celebrated specifically by signing a baby's butt. On Monday, Mexico banned the sale of sweet treats in all of the blanks. Bakeries? No. Schools. On Wednesday, the Switch 2 was announced, the latest gaming system from blank. Nintendo. Right. This week, a British man on his way to a soccer game who noticed papers littering the street quickly discovered they were blank. Wanted posters for him? No. Top secret documents about British troop movements.
The papers included details about patrol routes, weapons checks, and even included soldiers' names and phone numbers. It's like top British military officials heard about the U.S. group chat and were like, hey, hold my room temperature beer. Bill, how did Josh do in our quiz? Pretty good. Four right, eight more points. Total of 11 is in second place. All right. So...
Tig's already been very impressive. How many does she need to win in her debut appearance on our show? Five to die, six to win. All right, Tig. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a federal judge dismissed the case against New York Mayor blank. Eric Adams. Yes. This week, the FAA confirmed the creation of stress managing teams to help blanks deal with understaffing issues.
People. Yes. Specifically air traffic controllers, though. On Monday, an iceberg the size of Chicago broke off an ice shelf in blank. Water. The Antarctic. This week, a high-speed chase in Nashville ended when officers caught the car they were pursuing when its driver blanked.
Stopped. Yes! I want to give it to you. Specifically, he stopped at a gas station to put more air in his tires. On Wednesday, the Queen Mary 2 was forced to end its cruise early after almost 250 passengers caught blank. Diarrhea. Norovirus. According to new data, getting the blank vaccine could protect against dementia. Shingles. Right. This week, a flight from L.A. to Shanghai had to turn around mid-trip because blank forgot their passport.
Pilot. That's right. Two hours into the flight, the 275 passengers heard the pilot's, quote, very frustrated voice on the intercom announce they were turning around because he had forgotten his passport. The flight resumed six hours behind schedule. But don't worry. Passengers were awarded food vouchers worth up to $30, just enough to buy one egg to throw at the pilot. Did diarrhea count as neurovirus? I don't know. I think, I think, I don't know if you can...
They wanted to. Give the people what they want. Diarrhea. So, Bill, using your best judgment, did Tig Notaro do well enough to win? Well, for a rookie, she did great. Four right, eight more points, totaled of 11. That means our champ is McGee and Farzad. You see? You did. Oh, my God. Thank you.
Both of your faces. Yes. Both of us? Yeah, that was really low. Ouch. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists, now that we have Liberation Day, what will be the next new holiday? But first, let me tell you that...
Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeker writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shane O'Donnell. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Liedemann composed our theme. Our program is produced by...
Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Our meteorologist is Peter Gwynn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical direction is Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock, and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Annabella Danforth. Now panel, what will be the next new holiday? Nagin Farsad. National Thank You Note Writing Day, where you write all the thank you notes you haven't done your whole life.
Josh Gondelman. Daniel Day Lewis Day, which you prepare for by spending 364 previous days living as a calendar. And Tig Notaro. Measles Schmeasles Day. And if any of that happens...
We'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Josh Gondelman, Nagin Farsad, and our new rookie, Tig Notaro. Thanks to all of you here at the Studebaker Theatre and anywhere you are for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.
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