#2692 RHOSLC S5E16 Part One: Circle (of) Jerks
01:02:54 Share

Ready to electrify your drive? Hyundai's cutting-edge EV lineup is about to change everything you thought you knew about electric vehicles. Prepare to be captivated by a range that's as bold as it is brilliant. From the lightning-fast IONIQ 5 and IONIQ 6, charging from 10 to 80% in a mere 18 minutes, to the tech-packed cabins boasting Highway Driving Assist and Blind Spot Collision Warning,

Hyundai EVs are redefining the electric experience. And with America's best warranty, including a 10-year, 100,000-mile limited electric battery warranty, you'll drive with unmatched confidence. Hyundai's EVs aren't just the future.

They're the now you've been waiting for. Learn more about Hyundai's EVs at HyundaiUSA.com. Call 562-314-4603 for complete details. America's best warranty claim based on total package of warranty programs. See dealer for limited warranty details. See your Hyundai dealer for further details and limitations.

As you write your life story, you're far from finished. Are you looking to close the book on your job? Maybe turn a page in your career? Be continued at the Georgetown University School of Continuing Studies. Our professional master's degrees and certificates are designed to meet you where you are and take you where you want to go at

At Georgetown SCS, the learning never stops, and neither do you. Write your next chapter. Be continued at scs.georgetown.edu/podcast. - Behind the delivery trucks that keep your life stocked, thousands of employees at BP go to work every day. People bringing a new offshore production platform online. People making our refineries capable of more, like making renewable diesel from agricultural waste. People trading and shipping fuels to our customers.

and people helping truckers fill up and get maintenance at our convenient locations. They're part of the more than 300,000 jobs BP supports across the country. Learn more at bp.com slash investing in America. ♪

Happens when there's so much that happens. Bronwyn seems nice. I like her business plan, marrying a guy who has one foot in the grave. Oh, she's already crying. And one on a banana peel. But I like mine better. I'd rather be self-made. She's nice, but she doesn't listen because her ears are stitched down to her face so tight she can't hear anything. She wears a hot dog to outfits to remind us she sucked her way to the top.

Okay. The most awkward, the most awkward episode ever. So here you go. What an awkward way to start it off. Welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. I want to read the meanest text I've ever written about you. Okay. You ready? Okay. Yeah. Ben's cute. I'm so sorry, Ben.

I support Ben in everything he does. If Ben kicked me in the balls, I would say, thank you, Ben. I love you. Okay. Here's the Ronnie. I'm going to read you the meanest text I've ever written about you. And then we burn it. We burn it. Burn. It gets burnt right now. Turned and burned.

Honestly, I don't want to invite Ronnie over today. I want to invite over Bronwyn. Okay, Ronnie, it's burnt. Oh, wait, I forgot there's one other part. Fuck you. You're burnt. I'm going to burn you. Wait, wait, there's one other part.

Ronnie once invited over someone so he could watch that person give John Barlow a blowjob. Okay, it's burnt. That was the worst thing I ever said. It's burnt. It's burnt. Burnt. What an episode. What an epic season finale episode of Salt Lake City. We're going to do that recap right now, but we're going to be doing the reunion part one live in two cities, both San Francisco and San Diego next week. Get your tickets and watch what happens. Dot com. When we start.

a mass hysteria tour across America and a little bit of not America. Also following that, we're going to be on Broadway with the golden crappy awards. We're getting all our music ready, all our Broadway numbers ready to go and hope to see you there. It's almost sold out. So you better hurry up and get your asses over there. That's watch what crap is.com. And then we'll be in salt Lake city and Denver, right?

Yeah, Denver the next weekend. So it's going to be three weeks of...

absolute mayhem and hysteria. So join us for that. And if you want this on video, it is on video right now over at Patreon. It's also going to be on video next week over at YouTube. So join YouTube if you want a bunch of free videos. We're also recapping Traders right now. And Traders is a Patreon exclusive. So if you want Traders recaps, head over there. Ben, how you feeling today, buddy? I don't even know. It's like that Salt Lake City finale...

was so wild like i there was uh there was a part of me that actually felt bad for those women like that was truly the epitome of people just hurting each other um except for you know you know meredith got off scot-free she didn't have to hear anything about and on top of that meredith and lisa didn't have to say anything about anyone but um that was said she did she was on watch what happens and she said that she did read it to meredith but they cut it

Oh, is that why Meredith was maybe crying? Well, it was... That was wild. This was one of the few times where I would say...

I kind of felt like that episode should have been supersized. It felt almost truncated. It felt like when we got to the last stretch there, it felt like, wait, why are we ending this right now? It feels like there's still so much to talk about. I was actually, don't even think it should have been the season finale. I know they want to end on a bang and they need to sort of compete with last year, but it felt like there needed to be more after that. That was wild. Yeah.

Yeah, and it was just so weirdly edited because they cut so much out just to get to that dinner. And I just, you know, sacrifice New York. Take New York away and then give us more of this. I'll take a two-hour finale. Yes, give us a 10-hour finale. I want this to be a Netflix special where I can watch it for six hours. It was so good, so fun. So let's jump into it, shall we? Oh my goodness, yeah. I'm like, mentally, I'm like, this is... I'm like, this is...

I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know how we're going to do this because it was so it was such a wild episode. I'm scared. I'm scared. We'll be fine. Okay, so we go we start with Heather and Heather. So fucking Heather monologues, which is Heather's thing now, which she just has to give us monologues all the time.

So she's like, it's true. It's true that we chose to do this. It is. And it's very dramatic. We see them all sitting up, setting up in the confessionals and they're all pretending that the fourth wall is being broken, but they're staring directly into the camera, especially Heather. Heather's doing this like actor-y stare to the camera, but it's terrifying. She's like,

Yeah, they're just staring blankly. They're getting a little bit of glam. And then their backgrounds are green screened out. They're keyed out. And they have clips of their season so far. And just kind of funny because it's all the main housewives. And Brittany is obviously not part of it because she doesn't have a snowflake. But I'm imagining Brittany was at home in front of a children's chalkboard or an easel being like, come on. Hey, Jared, does this look good? Does this look good? Just in case they need me, I'm ready to do a shot for them. Yeah.

So Heather gives her monologue and she's like, we put our lives on display, showing our weakest moments, sharing our darkest secrets, leaving ourselves open to criticism, open to judgment. And those opinions can hurt. But what happens when the friends you turn to for support

have turned on you too and you realize that your closest friends can cut you the deepest. Oh, for fuck's sake, you are the one who does it. You are the bad guy, ma'am. You're the one who makes everybody hurt each other's feelings after. By the way, great job. You deserve an Emmy.

Yeah. She's like, when she says, when you realize that your closest friends can cut you the deepest, well, they're only going to cut you the deepest. If you say, please take out your knife and stab me. I want to see how that feels. Great. Okay. Now let's all stab each other. Now we can all feel the pain of being stabbed by each other. Cause that's what this episode really is. Yes.

So we see clips of the season and why they're all so traumatized. And then we rewind to 24 hours earlier. And we're back in Puerto Vallarta, day four. And Brittany's eating breakfast at a table. And she's like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, toast. I just wanted to give a toast toast. Jared likes toast too. God, I can't wait to eat you toast.

Guys, I just want to make an announcement. I'm having a physical relationship with this toast. I'm literally eating it right now. This changes my life forever now. Talk about a yeast infection. By the way...

I want to just say real quickly that before we do our like rewind 24 hours, they show shots of like the chaos that's to come that evening. And they show footage of stuff that we never get to see. Like we see Lisa Barlow and glam and a producer's like, do you think there's any road back at this point? She's like, I don't know. I really don't know. And we see all these things that I feel like never made it to air. Do you think that like Bravo is going to do, um,

like an extended cut sort of like that time on New Jersey after like season one, the famous table flip, they did like a fine, like they, they made a whole episode about that dinner where they showed, you know, unaired footage. Um,

Maybe, but they did that years later. So I don't know. You think they're holding on that tightly? Being like, hey, in five years we'll make another episode. Hopefully they'll fill it out. Because yeah, you're right. Now that I'm looking over all of this stuff, it is a lot of stuff we didn't see. Lisa crying and saying, you started this whole thing! And then Bronwyn crying and just like,

kind of wiping the makeup off of her eyes, which is really all I've wanted her to do all season. And listen, I know that that double line is in fashion. Like I've seen it on other people. Chris Schoen, the traders actually has an eyelash on her eye where she has an eyelash on her eyelid, which is something, it looks like that's going to open up and start eating people, you know? But anyway, I get that that's fashion. I don't think it really works for bra.

right so i was glad to see her wipe it off i was like oh my god it's her arc her arc is coming to an end she's wiping off that weird double line yeah she's no longer reading between the lines she's just reading her lines so then we so going back to breakfast um people are just having their own breakfast etc and then we see meredith and she has this like brown furry eye mask that she's put over like one half of her eye she and i was like

Is that intentional or is she just still drunk from last night? She's like, well, hello. Heather, it's official. I have scratched my cornea. I woke up and I woke up with a scratched cornea. I was like, no, no.

For some reason, this show really has an issue with morning eye injuries on vacation. How are you guys still not having cameras in their room at night? How do we not get to the bottom of the scratch cornea? The good news is that that scratch cornea unscratched itself by the time we got to the dinner because there was no eye mask in sight.

Is that how corneas work? I don't think that's how they work. I don't think so. But maybe she just diagnosed herself as having a scratched cornea. And Heather's like, oh, my God, a scratched cornea? Meredith, is that what it is? The pirate patch? Is that why you're wearing that? She's like, yeah, a little comer. So Heather's like, wow, you've never screamed at me before like you did last night.

Why, I don't feel like I'm hurt unless I lose my temper and start screaming.

we get a flashback of Heather being like, why are you screaming at me? In life, sometimes people scream at you, and other times people don't say anything to you. What's better, being in a checkout line when people are screaming, or knowing their friends are in their car, listening to their phones, and checking out their favorite pod? If you stay on, I don't need a monologue. I'm sorry, was that my outside voice? Ugh.

We are friends. And, you know, by the way, Heather's big move also is that she likes to take her finger and hold it like an inch above the table and then point as if she's hitting like a button on a keyboard when she talks. She's like, we are friends and you don't have to yell at me and derail my whole nighttime activity. I agree. And Heather goes, well, I accept your apology, even though there was nothing even close to an apology even uttered at this table.

Well, where's your apology about all the infidelity stuff? I like that Meredith's not even going to bother. She's like, whatever. Thank you. My cornea says thank you. So then we get to all the girls getting texts. It's like bloop, bloop, bloop. And it's a text that says that they have fun activities. But first, it's a tribute to Lisa lunch. Lunch is like breakfast, but it's with friends. Yeah.

Munch is the best dinner to have with friends, unless they're enemies. It's like, oh, for fuck's sake. We just get through this episode, Heather.

So it's going to be a tribute to Lisa lunch. So, um, uh, then we cut right to Heather coming out of her room and she's got like the Lisa wig on and she's like, Lisa put together such an amazing trip. And I really want to have a theme lunch to thank her. Cause that's what friends do. They cut hard, but they also do tributes hard. But I know that Lisa hates themes, but I knew there would be one theme that Lisa would love. Hmm.

So Lisa comes out. She's like, hey, where are you guys? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. And when we see what she's oh, my goshing, we see that everybody is in baby gorgeous wigs dressed like. Yes. Yes.

And Meredith is like, in the 10 years that I've known Lisa, I don't think I've ever seen her speechless until now. Honestly, these girls have never looked better. And even though Whitney is wearing like three-year-old Tom Ford pants, she still looks good.

so so they go to this uh restaurant and she's like hi um we have a reservation for eight lisas and the hostess is like what the fuck i was dying when they walked up to the restaurant and every single one of the ladies is going oh my god i love this i love that look at that i love that i love that

I love that. So then they all order and the waiter's like, what's good here? And he's like, well, the lobster is very good. And they all go, oh, I love that. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds great. Can I touch?

So now Heather gives her intro monologue to this thing. She's like, thank you, everyone, for being such good sports. You know what else is like a sport? Friendship. Sometimes you catch the ball. Sometimes you don't, but you still run down the field and hope someone will try throwing it to you again.

Heather, we sign up for this. We sign up for this, for the ridicule, for the critiques, for the attacks. But one thing we also sign up for is sisterhood. Sisterhood that can come together wearing wigs. Now, everyone do an impersonation of Lisa Barlow. So Bronwyn, and I have to give it to Heather. She is stirring a lot in this episode. But A, that's kind of her role on the show.

And B is she's doing it in more creative ways. It's not just a hi, everybody. We're going to play a game at lunch. Everybody go around and say why they hate Lisa Barlow. You know, she knows this is going to cause trouble because how can it not? You're with one of the most sensitive people in the world and you know that people are going to be mean to her and you know she's going to lose her shit. But at least it was creative. It was the first time we've ever seen it on Housewives. Yeah.

It was. It also gave Whitney a chance to resurrect her storyline, her feud, because Whitney's kind of been in the backseat a little bit the second half of the season. And Whitney was like,

Whitney is like, you know what? I'm not going to let the season finale, you know, just end without me saying my piece. So Whitney had a really big comeback episode, I would have to say. Whitney was just a struggle muggle over there, trying so hard. And, you know, Lisa fell right into it, that's for sure. But, oh my God. Whitney is so sad. And also, I will never forgive Whitney for something that happens in this episode, and it's about to happen right now. So, yeah.

They all take turns doing imitations. And Bronwyn's like, oh, sorry. You caught me catching my 200th selfie of the day. Well, I've got my Tom Ford and my Bottega, very exclusive. I got it off the runway. I know you didn't go, but I did. And Lisa's like, ha ha, ha ha ha. That was so funny. That was so good. You should call Saturday Night Live. That was amazing. Very good.

And Angie's like, oh, Mary, I heard you got a new Range Rover. I love that. I could have got a Range Rover, but I got a G-Wagon instead. Oh, my God. That's so funny. Because I did get a G-Wagon. That's so good. That is so good. That is hilarious. Whitney, why don't you go? And Whitney's like, um, I

Here, this is my Lisa Barlow voice. I just love my $60,000 rings. I have like 20 of them. And then she turns around and starts doing like a runway walk and she's got all these price tags hanging out. And Lisa's like, oh my God, though, but your tag is showing. Your tag is showing, Whitney. Yeah, I know. It's because I have to return it after the trip.

Okay, that's not me then, stupid. That's not me. God, I hate her. I hope she dies right now. That is not me. No, it's not. And Whitney's like, I would rather die than be Lisa for a day. But I'm going to lean into it. And I'm going to be the fakest, phoniest, cattiest, materialistic, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick,

Can we start over? No, Whitney, keep going. Friendship is like a ham sandwich. Sometimes it's good, and other times it's good too.

I love friendship. Whitney. Stick to the original script. Mat- Mat- Mat- Mat- I'm gonna be Matilda. Matilda is the bitch. So Lisa's like, okay, you know what? I was all about Whitney until I saw the tags hanging out. Like, what are you implying? She's like,

that maybe you're like a little more fake than you come off. Fake? I'm fake? Just because I have a fake tan on right now. I think you're very fake. I think you're really bad at divvying into connection and feelings and understanding people. I think you're a friendship. The friendships serve... I think... Heather, how do you do this all the time? There's so many words.

friendship is like a prison, but sometimes you get to go outside. Nevermind. Hey, that's not even close to who I am. What may. Yeah. Well, you tend to make stuff about yourself. Okay.

First of all, you're making the whole Lisa lunch about yourself. And who are you calling fake when you literally have a new face and your whole jewelry line is on Alibaba? And there's people who get mad that we say that because they're like, oh, it's called distributors and people get stuff from distributors and you should stop slandering her. The exact pictures are the same ones on Alibaba. Like, at least be creative and change your shit up before you call people fake. Whitney!

By the way, I don't care about your face being fake. I'm just jealous. I want my eyelids done so bad. I want my eyelids done and my waddles done. So whatever, Whitney. Enjoy your faces. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

DC, are you ready to start 2025 with incredible live entertainment at Capital One Arena? On February 22nd, comedy takes center stage at the hilarious Joe Coy. Then on March 17th, feel the energy as Disturbed gets down with the sickness.

On March 26th, it's all about the legendary Mary J. Blige bringing soul and power to the stage. And don't miss pop sensation Kylie Minogue on April 8th. Tickets are going fast. Secure yours now at CapitalOneArena.com. Hey, y'all. It's your girl, Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me. Well, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. We're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspective.

And honey, it's going to change your life. I sat down with astrology queen, Channing Nicholas. Y'all, if you want to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely going to hit different.

If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby. This is Kiki Palmer. Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New Year, New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby.

So Lisa's like, this doesn't even close to who I am. Whitney goes, but you tend to make things about yourself. And Lisa goes, your gut is off. It's leaking. Take a probiotic. It's a mess.

Take that fucking wig off your head. Don't pay me because you'll never pay me. She's like, I don't want to be Lisa Barlow. I don't want to be a mean, nasty, horrible person. But you're a mean and nasty and horrible fucking liar, okay? And you never sell as many companies as I have. You'll never be as ethical as I have. I saved the Dolphin for breakfast. You will never be as ethical as I am. Yeah.

Shut the fuck up and listen to me. And so Lisa stands up and reaches across the table. It's a good old-fashioned, you know, it was the Lisa Rinna swat at the air, come close to the neck and then not, but she was trying to get the wig off of Whitney's head, I think. And so, and then everyone's like, oh my God. And Brad was like, oh my God, oh my God. Oh no, oh, this is...

I can't nod fast enough to show how upset I am right now. So Lisa's yelling at her to get the wig off. You've lied about me. You've lied about my marriage. You've lied about everything that I fucking care about. Remember when you said that Frosty was a peanut buster parfait? You bitch. You bitch. Don't fuck with Wendy. You've done the same thing to me. You plant things about my marriage, my business, my, um,

potted plants. And she's like, go prove that. Go get your purse, and then I'm gonna sue the fuck out of you and take your fucking new house.

So Lisa's like, what a shitty person. Yeah, she's like, I'm not forgiving. I'm forgetting this time. And Brittany's like, um, Lisa, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Listen, Jared just sent me a text and he said he hasn't even known Lisa that long, but she would never do that. And if she's free Tuesday, he would love to take her out. God damn it. God damn it. Ding, ding, ding. I'm breaking up with Jared. I'm breaking up with Jared.

Lisa, I haven't known you that long and you've been the most loyal person. Like to me, Whitney, that just makes no sense. And Mary's like, Brittany, I don't know why you're even chumming in on anything considering the fact that you recorded this whole group. And once everybody got a little tipsy, they forgot about it. But I didn't forget. Right.

And she's like, are you serious? You all do this exact same thing as me, and especially you. Don't you remember, everybody? Mary was recording out the window. How come no one ripped Mary's head off? And Mary's like, you're a liar. Girls, shut up. You got caught is what you did, is what you got. Okay, well then I'll point out that when everybody does the exact same thing as I did, I'm going to point that out. And Heather's like, no one secretly records each other. That's

That's horrifying. That's a reach, Brittany. And she's like, yeah, well, you've been torturing me, calling me vile and vicious and cruel. Well, you know what? Those were my feelings. And you wouldn't know that if you hadn't been putting listening devices in my room.

Yeah, but like, well, you know what? Meredith, I will never, ever recover from that, okay? Do you understand? Well, I'm also entitled to my feelings, and as the mother of a toddler, I'm in a sensitive place right now. Maybe I won't recover from the things you did to me. I mean, I was so hurt my cornea scratched.

But guess what? We all have a social filter, and I would never let those words come out of my mouth to someone. Never! And Meredith is like, well, you just accused someone of mental health and eating disorders behind their back. Hmm.

Which no one really did, but I love Meredith's commitment to the cause. I know. Don't talk to me. I'm still crying over the slut shaming. And she's like, well, clearly I don't have any friends here. Ding, ding, ding. I'm walking away from this table. Please don't follow me. If you do follow me, I will be at that round ottoman thingy two tables down. Ah, ah, ah, ah.

You do have friends here. You do have friends. This is a friendship circle. We get together. We put on bonnets. We make butter. Sure, we fight, but we also hug. And this is a sorority, a sorority that Heather, just go and find your friends. I walk off, Heather. I'm walking off. Just go after her, Heather.

So Heather goes and Mary's like, let her go. That girl is good. Don't worry. And, you know, by the way, in the middle of this, Brittany had said that Mary was also recording people. So Angie's like, Angie gets up. She's like, I'm going to get up for a second and see if there's spanakopita over there. So she goes after Brittany and Mary is like, what the fuck? Yeah. And she's like, I'm trying to figure out why Angie's over there. Like, leave that girl alone.

And so we see them talking to Brittany behind a giant spanakopita tree. And Mary's like, why are you chasing a girl that doesn't like me? I mean, she just accused me of recording, too. I mean, don't run after people that don't like me. Don't do that.

Okay. So, um, but you have to set that boundary first. You know, you can't ask a Greek lady who's so proud of her heritage to choose between your invisible boundary and a spanakopita tree. Yeah. No, no. So Bronwyn is telling Mary that they've got to go horse riding. And, uh, Whitney's like, no, I've got to go learn how to make, um, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a

Never mind. Okay, well, I'm going to bring, we'll bring some home to you, Whitney. We'll bring some ceviche to go. It'll last for many, many days. You can enjoy it. I'll bring some back. I don't want to eat Whitney's ceviche. She would do it wrong. No, I don't want Whitney's. It sounds like salmonella-che. I don't want it. I also feel like she wouldn't even use fish. It would probably, like, her ceviche is probably just like...

It's just prison necklaces. Look, I marinated my necklace in lime juice and you still left it in Milwaukee. Wait a minute.

How come this lime juice didn't cook this aluminum tinfoil I put in there? I cooked Bobby's soda with lime juice. Now she's drinking ceviche. So I love that the editors just cut out this big Britney scene because Britney's trying so hard to have a moment and the editors are like, not showing it. Okay, so let's get past the talk. So Heather's like, we better go. We have an appointment for ceviche. Friends don't miss ceviche.

Unless they're enemies. So Angie's like, well, I'm supposed to go horseback riding. Hopefully it's a Pegasus. And Heather is like, well, you can switch up the itinerary. So they basically like make Brittany feel better and sort of like pick her up off the Ottoman and bring her back. Yeah.

So then they go to ride some horses. Some of the girls are riding horses. And then the other girls are doing ceviche making with Chef Israel. And he's like, you have all the ingredients in front of you. Red onion, beautiful, sweet, sweet potato.

they use sweet potatoes on their ceviche that sounds delightful yeah uh also like uh like a peruvian uh ceviche has sweet potato and it's lovely well that does sound lovely i've never thought of marinating a potato in a lime before so is it the same as our potato like a an orange mushy thing

Um, I think so. I mean, I'm, I guess what I'm just, I'm not going to speak on authority about Peruvian ceviches. And I don't know if it's exclusive to Peruvian ceviches. But I've had ceviches at Peruvian restaurants that have had chunks of sweet potato in them. And they were orange and they were delicious. It was a wonderful kind of crunchy.

They were soft. They had like a really nice texture. Because another thing is that they're these, sometimes these like kind of nuts. Well, there's like corn, these corn kernel things. They're like Peruvian corn, which is like the kernels are much bigger. And that has a certain texture. I think there's sometimes are like nuts. Like there's like, I don't know if they're, I think they're nuts. Or maybe they were toasted something that became nutty. I don't know. But you have some crunch from that. And you have the soft sweet potato. It's like a really nice texture.

You know how the seafood has a certain kind of chew to it, so when you get the soft sweet potato, it just is like a really nice, sweet, soft pillow for the ceviche. Well, you heard it here first. This is Ben. This is Ben. Talking out of his ass about Peruvian ceviche, even though we're talking about Mexican ceviche on the show. Yeah, if you're a waiter, I would order that.

So he tells them how to make it. And Heather's like, and lime juice will just cook the fish? Why am I microwaving hot dogs? We could serve my kids ceviche. I have a big dick. We come here together as sisters, microwaving hot dogs. But what none of us realize is that if we just put all our issues to the side, we could be cooking with lime juice. Israel's like, I'm

Can we get back to the lesson, please? So we go horseback riding and these horses hate them. Okay. These horses are drag race fans. Let's just say that they're anti housewives right now. And they are, they are team Bob. These, these horses, you were right. I did read that on the internet. The fandoms of the trade. We're talking about the traders. For those of you who don't know, there is a drag race guy, Bob, the drag queen, and he's trying to kick off the housewives. So we're mortified. So the, the,

The fandoms are coming for each other. The RuPaul people are going against the Housewives people, and they're all going against the Challenge people, and it's pretty great to read. It is Game of Thrones. It is amazing, because...

Bob is like, all you Housewives people, I'm not afraid of you. And so now the Housewives people are like, I'll get him. So it's a great mess over there. I mean, I think we should all get along. We should be allies. There's no reason why Drag Queen and Housewives fans should be at each other's throats. I thought we were allies. I didn't know we didn't like each other. We should be joined together against the Derricks and the Wests of the world. That's the problem. We need to join alliances and get rid of the bro-bros.

Well, that's the thing. That's how this all happens. Because Bob the Drag Queen, I think on some level, is worried that if he doesn't go after housewives, people will assume he's with housewives. And then, I don't know. I'm just going to blame the bros. Well, hey, ceviche, am I right? Guys, let's just all marinate in lime juice and call it a day. So, we go back to horseback riding. And Bromwen is terrified. And she should be. I mean, she hasn't had a great month with animals on this show in general. She's still like...

This one is an ugly horse. Puss is coming out of her mauling wounds. Yeah. Yeah. She's still probably like ripped open from head to toe from those damn dogs. And she's now on this horse. The mad horse was mannerisms like Meredith. It was very like, oh, I was like, oh, my God, that horse is galloping in its own head. It's like, oh.

Nay, nay. I am done. Did you put a hearing device in my stable? Nay. So she's scared. And then Meredith is acting up, too. But then hers calms down a little. And she sees Bronwyn's is going crazy. And she goes, well, I feel like we got the horses that represent our personalities. And then her horse farts. And she's like...

Am I right, horsey? And then we see the horse and its horse siblings all putting their hooves on a lemon as a farmer slices it. So then...

So then the girls, now it's time. Now we're at dinner. By the way, we're like 13 minutes into the episode and we're already at the final dinner of the season. I wonder if this just ended, if Brom was like, I'm too rich to die like this. No, I will not do this. I will not do it. So they're showing up and Lisa's like, for our last night in Mexico, I organized the most epic dinner ever.

At the Vedanta World Luxury Theme Park. I was like, of course this show would have a final luxury dinner at an amusement park. Vedanta World Luxury Theme Park. Now, I will say this. I mean, it's an obvious commercial, right? It's a good commercial. I wanted to go there when I saw the theme park. It looked beautiful. What is a luxury theme park? Is it actually like a...

Like, what does this actually mean? A luxury theme park? I don't know, but Vedanta, give us a call. We want to come. We will do it. I don't know what we can do to get. We will do a show. We will do a live show at the luxury theme park if it means we get a trip down there. Okay, Vedanta, do it. Probably five people will show up, but we will fucking do it. Do you want to see me, Vedanta? We will record from the roller coaster, okay?

It's been an episode. So now the waiter comes and takes her orders. And then Bronwyn does. She's like, I think, girls, I think we should do a Mexican toast. Yes. Yes. You all agree? Yes. Yes, you do. Okay. So it's amor, salute, pesetas, y tiempo, para gastarias. Okay? So that means love, wealth, health, and time in which to spend all of Todd's money. Okay. Yeah.

Opa! Opa! We're last night in Puerto Vallarta, everybody. So Angie has ordered some pizza and Whitney is sitting in between Angie and Mary. So...

So I don't I don't mean to interrupt. I mean, I do because I'm interrupting. But I love that they're at this luxury dinner or whatever. And like three of them order pepperoni pizza. Well, it's housewives. You know what I mean? They're like, listen, I'm eating five bites today is going to be what I fucking want. Yes. When you're eating so little, five bites of pizza is a luxury. We're not shooting tomorrow. I'm going to have the pepperoni. Heck yeah. Yeah.

So, um, Angie, Whitney is sitting between Angie and Mary and Angie's like, Mary, do you want a piece of pepperoni? And Mary just kind of gives her a look like, she's like, no, Mary, you are being very quiet with me.

She goes, I know. She goes, what's going on? She goes, what do you think is going on? Running out the door like with Brittany and went out there and stayed with her so you don't care what I feel with her. She goes, I do care. And I've told her she's not been very nice to you. And then you ran after her. I've been spending months trying to gain your confidence. And I didn't ask you to. That was a choice you made.

And she's like, but you made the choice too, my friend. And you said, God brought us together. And we went together like olives and feta. And I believe that you believe that. I believe that you greatly believe that. And Mary's like, I did believe it, but I can be wrong.

I'm human. She goes, wrong about what? She's like, I love trying to explain to Angie that she hates her now because Angie just doesn't get it. She's like, wrong about what? She's like, wrong about you. Are you serious? Yeah.

She's like, Mary, Mary. And she's like, I feel like I'm really big on loyalty. And Angie's like, look at me, Mary. And by the way, when we've seen Mary do this before, people sort of like snap back at Mary. And so she closes off even more. But Angie is actually giving like an honest appeal because they have a true friendship. And she's like, look at me, Mary, look at me.

I found some spanakopita. The tree's right over there. Okay, keep looking at me. I'm so sorry. Give me your hand, Mary. Give me your hand. Mary. Mary. Mary's like, no. Yeah, she's like, no. And so she's like, Mary. And she starts crying. She's like, you've changed my life. And then I started crying. Such a sad. It was like.

That was so beautiful. I don't know how Mary changed. I don't know how Mary changed your life, but I trust that it happened. I feel like it's probably a religious thing. They probably talked about God and stuff, right? Yeah, probably. She's like, you changed my life. You took half of my income to build a church that never opened. I just don't understand how we're not closer. Yeah.

You taught me that I can have things that aren't white in my house. I can have pink things and blue things. It doesn't have to all be white furniture. When you called me and made me one of the people that you called an overweight nothing,

Poor person, because I didn't buy you a Chanel for your birthday. I mean, it made me feel so included, Mary, with the rest of your congregation. You taught me that you can watch a bat mitzvah from the outside, not just from the inside. I don't even go to temple anymore. I just stand outside and look in while I smoke a cigarette.

So Mary's like, well, you hurt me. So then Mary's crying. And she's like, but I didn't mean to hurt you. And she's like, but you did hurt me because I told you everything. And she goes, I know. That is why you're hurting me right now. But it's just, okay, now this is where it gets super impressive because we've never seen this from Mary. We've seen the other part where Mary just kind of turns on a friend and is like, fuck you now. I don't like you. But we haven't seen her actually stay at the table and finish it

In kind of a mature way, I was shocked and it was actually a really, really good turn. So she's like, I'm like that. She said, it's just that because both my parents abandoned me and my dad even admitted it, that he didn't like me. And my mom, who was my best friend, cut me off. I mean, granted, you did marry.

the grandpa that she wanted to marry and took her church. But still, let's put that aside. And she's like, and now, you know, I'm just an adult with abandonment issues. And I don't like when people betray me and I don't do well with it. And I'd rather walk away. And this was just so good. I mean, it was, it was really beautiful and really crazy that she even saw that honestly. And she's like, cause I remember feeling from six years old when my dad left and he told me my mommy, he didn't like me because I spoke my mind. And

And so when, when somebody abandons me, I feel like it's with my dad all over again. I was like, Oh my God, it was so sad. And then Angie's like, I'm not abandoning you. That's why this is so sad for me. Cause I lost my mom to Mary and I have abandonment issues too. And they're like clasping hands, by the way, they're like having to do this all over Whitney. Like, like when he's in the middle, like, um, when can I go back to my pepperoni pizza? Cause they're like talk, they're like holding hands in front of her. So Mary tells us, um,

That when you have abandonment issues, she says, I feel like you lead with that for the rest of your life. It's scarring. And then you go through life and people abandon you and just brings up that same feeling with my dad walking out the door. And I will never. And she says, and he never came back. Sorry, I will never be able to forget it. He never came back. And then like he didn't even care. He just went and lived his life. So I braced myself just in case.

Hey, y'all. It's your girl, Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me. Well, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. We're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspective. And honey, it's going to change your life. I said,

I sat down with astrology queen, Channing Nicholas. Y'all, if you want to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely going to hit different.

If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New Year, New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby.

Yeah, so they cry. And Angie's like, I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. And I do love you. You are the ta to my heeny. I want to be your friend forever. And so Mary's like, I realize that Angie does have my back. We're sisters. And she just does that squint, little satisfied squint smile. And it was really cute. What a nice...

What a nice wrap up to that. And I'm extremely happy because Angie must have had a really rough week because the previews last week made it look like they showed this scene. But we kind of all assumed that Angie probably told people about Mary's son, which would have been a huge. So I'm wondering how many people online have been like, fuck off, Angie, you untrustworthy heathen.

I am so happy that that's not what this was about. Like, it was weird. I kind of feel like everyone was rooting for that not to be the case. I think people...

really enjoy this friendship because it does feel genuine and at least they portrayed in a really sweet way like bravo has given like a little bit of tenderness and care around this friendship and we've seen them have special moments together even on this trip remember when when mary showed up on the trip and then they hugged it was just so sweet and then mary and then angie was helping with mary's hair maybe not effectively but she was helping and and

It was just, I don't know, like, I think we all are kind of rooting for this on a show where they really take each other down so many pegs and they'll just go there. It's nice to have this friendship. Yeah, it is. So then Mary's like, yeah, guys, every time I hang up the phone, I don't want to say I love you to her because I'm waiting for her to say it first. And they're like, oh, my God, that's so cute. Lisa's like, that is hilarious. That is hilarious. Yes.

You know what? The person at the Wendy's drive-thru said the same thing to me. I got my fries and I was like, oh my God, I love you. And she was like, I didn't want to say it first. And I was like, I'm not talking to you, but thank you. She started crying. It was so sad. And he begged, what were we talking about?

So Angie's like, I do love you. I mean it. So Heather's like, Mary, I love what you shared. I thought it was beautiful. And I love this friendship. And I know she's your friend. And this was great. Who else wants to clear the air? Because we had a beautiful moment. And I think we should only follow it up with an incredibly, incredibly toxic fight. Yeah.

Well, listen, I do have an issue and a concern and a cornea that scratched. So, listen, I want everybody to look at the tag on my car. It's a double disability. So I am backing into this space and I'm staying here for as long as I like. Now, you will listen to me. Okay. I shook my head so much I forgot my place in the notes. Okay. Oh, here we go. Okay. Thank you. I can help other side of my brain. Go ahead.

Whitney, okay, you accused Lisa of planting a story with the blog about your jewelry company. The story says that you sourced stuff off of Alibaba. And she's like, huh, what? I'm going to let you finish that pepperoni in your mouth before I continue. Just let me know when you're ready for me. I forgot what we were talking about.

Okay, well, you said that you had proof. Receive timeline, everybody. My song is playing. Okay.

When I say proof, you say receipts. Ferris wheel, your turn. So Meredith is like, well, you said you had proof. And the person who supposedly gave you this proof contacted me and told me a very different story. Oh, up and out. I'm getting all messy. I love it. Yes. Make those calls, boo.

Yeah, well, years ago, hello, America, I'm talking to you now. Years ago, I met the podcaster that Whitney has been talking to, and over the years, we've seen each other over a handful of time. And recently, he called me and told me that Whitney had reached out to him saying that she thought Lisa had planted the Ollie Boba rumor.

And she was enlisting him to try and get proof while he told me that he had never given her proof. And that Whitney has twisted his words around to say that he gave her the proof when he in fact did not give her the proof. Double double done.

Wait, okay. He said it's Lisa and it was followed by a phone call that explained it. She's like, yeah, that's not proof. I don't feed blogs. I don't talk to blogs. She's like, yeah, you do. Because I have a lot of proof of it. Ha! Put that in show at, which you do need to do. This is a finale. This has been your only big fight this whole season. Where's the proof? I mean, are we waiting for the reunion? Yeah.

I don't believe Whitney. I think Whitney's full of it. And Adam said that she's full of it. So, I mean, I don't know, though. Are we supposed to believe Adam? Because the way that they're telling... I mean, do you want... Especially Meredith, I guess I'm asking. So, do we believe Adam or not? Because if we believe Adam... I'm so confused about that. I mean, look. If I were friends, I would never let...

A content creator come between a friendship, I think. I don't, I mean, I don't think so. I mean, let's see. What if it was like Alison Roman? What if Alison Roman was like, let's have a fuck Ronnie pie making contest? Well, unfortunately, Ronnie has a waddle. You're like, here's my pie. It's called waddle pie. It's dedicated to stupid Ronnie. I will allow, unfortunately, Ronnie. You would do it. Alison Roman could get between us. Yes. I know you would. You're like not up and Adam though.

No, no. But what I'm saying is that, like, well, listen, we went on to Adam's show and he was super nice. Yeah. And he seemed like just a lovely, lovely person. But, like, if you're a celebrity, you have to question, like, anyone who's doing a podcast, you have to question their motives. You do. And I'm not saying that Adam is shaming or anything. Including us. Because the thing is, you're famous everywhere.

And our jobs depend on us talking about you guys. So, like, I feel like no one's more ethical than us. I feel like we're pretty good on this front. But, you know, like, if you're like a celebrity... We've kept a lot in our vault, for sure. Yeah, we have. But we also stay up front, Mike. Okay, so...

We don't care about you. And we're not a really gossip podcast. I mean, now we do the crappy hour live thing, but we just read what other people give us. We're not really like a gossip pod, but we tell people when we meet them right up front, it's cool to meet you, but we don't need anything from you and you're not getting anything from us. And when we go back to work tomorrow, we were going to, we're going to be mocking you relentlessly. So, so if you're okay with that, let's continue this dinner, you know, I think I'm pretty good about being up front.

And so I just feel like I'm just I'm trying to explain this in a way that I'm not I'm really not trying to shade Adam because I thought he was so nice. It was it's more like from the perspective of your someone on TV. If you see that there is like a podcaster or a blogger or a content creator that's talking to one cast member and that cast member is having this reaction. And then they go and talk to another cast member and they say, oh, they're having this reaction.

I just feel like I would put my relationship of the person that I know better first. I think I would – I like to think that, unless Alison Roman gets involved, in which case all bets are off. Well, but Adam's come out already and said his side, which is that Whitney is lying, that Whitney asked him for stuff and that he told her –

No, he told her something else on the phone, but the editors edited it together. Made it look. Right. I also believe. To sound like he was agreeing with Whitney. And so that was a whole lie between Whitney and production. So is that a lie? Yeah. I mean, I know in this case, I do believe Adam. I also believe that Whitney is not very bright. And I feel like.

Whitney is cut from like the, that, that housewife cloth where they hear something different than reality. And I think that she, which I think Whitney believes what she's saying is true. I don't think that Whitney is actively lying. Right. Like it could be Whitney going, okay, here's the clues. Did the person who sent the blog about Ali, did that, was that one of, was that somebody that knows Lisa? Yeah.

Was it Lisa? Well, no. Could it have been somebody named Lisa? Possibly. I mean, that's a pretty common name. Wait a minute. It must be Lisa. Just rides off on her little bike, you know, into Cabot Cove. Who knows with Whitney? Yeah. I think that Whitney, like, hears things and then she synthesizes. I don't know. I don't know what happens. Whitney lies, though, straight up.

when he fucking my straight up though i mean she probably just for jazz shit and all of that i mean she's she's got so many lies on this show like that's how the season opened was with everybody comfortable you exploited my vagina that whole vagina controversy that was straight up lie where like where heather was like we talked about it we cleared it and now all of a sudden you're gonna act like you're mad about it so yeah she does have she does struggle with the truth yeah

But either way, I'm just saying, like, ultimately, they are just tearing each other down so hard. And it's all because of the third party that they don't know very well. Yeah. Well, Meredith isn't really tearing her down. She's just saying that's been your storyline all season. And I talked to the blogger and it's bullshit.

She didn't say, and it's bullshit. Oh, you know, she just said it's bullshit. So she didn't, she didn't do any tearing down. I'm a mother of a toddler. I wouldn't speak like that. So, uh,

Lisa's like, bro, that when he goes, well, it's no secret that you fed reality volunteers, but she goes, what did you, what did I feed? What did I feed reality volunteers? You better be real clear right now. She goes, well, you would just say things like, Hey, this situation and stuff about Jen. And you would send it to this account. And you'd be like, blah,

blah, blah, this, blah, blah, blah, that, et cetera, et cetera. I don't believe this for one second because Lisa would send it to bigger accounts. Reality Von Teese was not a big account. I mean, they're making it sound like it was this huge thing on this show, but it wasn't. It's a big now because everybody notes the name because of the controversy, but it was like 2000 people or something. It wasn't that huge of an account. Lisa would go for the big

dogs. I think what Whitney's talking about, and this is Lisa's constant commenting. Like if you read Lisa's Twitter, she, she will go comment on every content creators bullshit and say, this isn't true. You know, like she's in one this week because like Mary, Mary Cosby's fan page keeps saying,

Queen Mary created the show. And it was even said in the book that Mary created the show. And then Lisa's like, I'm going to comment just so this is straight. I'm the one to show Senator Brown. Everybody knows that. And then she has her own proof. You know, she goes into all of the fights with people. So Whitney might have been like, you engaged with Reality Von Teese and said something. Maybe that's it. But I don't believe Lisa's like covertly sending Reality Von Teese anything.

I didn't say that. You're lying. I can bring up my phone right now and show you. Actually, no, I didn't. I didn't do that. It's not true. It's not true. It's not true. And so Heather goes, who told you that shit? And Winnie goes, I reached out to the most credible source I could find. Monica. Friendship. And Meredith is like, well, she talks to Monica. She just said it. I think that's what my cornea heard. Okay.

Listen, Monica is the worst, worst source you can go to. The most unreliable narrator. Monica, of course, will say Lisa helped out because Monica will do anything to cause like chaos and to bring down Lisa Barlow. And to get back, you know, get back on the show. She probably thinks she's still on break, you know, and she might be. Who knows?

She might be on, what do you call it? Paws. Paws. She might be brought back. Who knows? So, you know, Jen Shaw now is getting out even earlier. She's going to be out by Thanksgiving 2026. I'm telling you, she's going to be out in 2025. I just feel it coming. I feel it fucking coming. You know what? A lot of people are going to be out of jail in 2025. And I think Jen Shaw just may be one of them. So, Heather is like...

After everything we've gone through to distance ourselves from her and her memory, there's no fucking way you did this. What level of desperation and paranoia led you to think that this was a good move? That that would somehow strengthen your case to go to one person who has the least credibility among any of us? Oh God, I'm really just on a roll with these monologues today.

I reached out to her out of desperation because I was sick of being called a liar because she said she had proof that Lisa fed information to press outlets and then press outlets would feed information to Lisa. I'm so tired. Have I been running? Yeah.

The best part about those press outlets is that you can get the same press for about 50% off. No, Whitney, they're not the same as a clothing outlet. Oh, that's a fucking lie. You just make up shit, Whitney. Oh my gosh. A snake has proof? Let's run and best friend her and fucking call her. I'm disgusted. Horrifying. You put baby in a corner. And Heather's like, that is a betrayal to me. I didn't fucking corner you. How was your fucking...

friend. I was your sister. I was your confidant. And the second the winds changed, you pulled out your umbrella and you started walking a different way. And friendship isn't that. Friendship is snuggling under a blanket.

Shut up, Heather. I'm not even talking to you. These two cornered me. The dark haired ones. And she does a point. Yeah. And Lisa's like, don't point your finger at me. When he takes both her fingers and it's like, Oh,

So Lisa just ignores her. It looks like Lisa's going to snatch her fucking hair off her scalp, but she doesn't. She just lets it go. So Mary is like, well, first of all, you guys are not the friendliest people, okay? So you're not the friendliest, and you're not either, Lisa. She's like, oh, you know what? Let me lie about you and see how you respond. Yeah, but when you're mad at people and you gang up on them and then you make people do things in despair. I was one.

Well, it's weird that Mary is specific. I feel like Mary's writing poetry over there. You make things do people do things in despair. What the fuck are you talking about? The fact that Mary is actually sort of defending Whitney is a little wild right now. I'm a little.

bubble head honestly that image of whitney double pointing at lisa barlow was kind of like the most amazing thing she did all season that was so funny so so um yeah so heather goes look at us look at us everyone buckle yourselves up because we're gonna do this this one's a page girl this is a whole page monologue this one what was shocking about this monologue is if i remember correctly the trailer for the season they

use this monologue in the trailer. And I assume she was reading off a script, but she was actually just monologuing at the table. Yeah. So she goes on this whole thing.

We're obsessed with trying to find the receipts, trying to find the proof, trying to find the timeline. It's a musical now, you guys. I'd just like to thank everybody for nominating me for this Tony Award. Yeah, I'd like to thank Sir Elton John for doing the score. So she says, we're just trying to focus. Receipts, proof, timeline.

Can you feel the receipts tonight? There's 11 reprises of that song. It's just going to be so good.

Listen, we're trying to poke holes in each other's stories, expose each other, find out who plants a story about us. It's not okay to have you having horrible fights with them over a blogger who's exploiting all of you, a stranger on the internet, a stranger, and he's turning you against each other. The only people who should be turning you against each other is each of us.

We made fun of Monica for having a burn book. And then look how many people want to burn my book after reading five pages. That was actually a good book.

But still, we are worse than the lady with the burn book. Look at us. What's happened to us? We once were friends. Now what are we? Ghostbusters? Gremlins? Pick a movie from the 80s and let's go there. They were about friendship, am I right? Cocktail. Cocktail. Oh yeah. Okay, everybody. Who wants to go down to Kokomo? Yeah.

All I heard this night is like, I want to prove you as a bad friend. And I want to prove you as a bad friend. And I want to prove you as a bad friend. And receipts and proof and timeline. They're saying it all over the roller coasters and the merry-go-rounds. Well, we thought we got rid of the problem last year, but we didn't. And I think tonight we're going to solve it.

And I think the way we solve is that we should take our phones out, go through our text messages and find the worst thing we've said about someone at this table. I was like, no, you were doing well there for a moment. I literally went, no.

No. Because listen, you know, inside voice is just gnarly. Everyone has the inside voice. It's horrible. And the inside voice comes out when you're writing comments on Reddit or when you think people don't know what you're... It comes out in writing the most, I feel like. And you know the most...

horrid inside voices are the house, the real housewives voices. Like these people are constantly having to go to battle and the most vile shit that can possibly said, they've got it. They've got it on their phones. Why are you doing this? Heather? Why are you giving a French and monologue and then making everybody hurt each other to the core? This is horrible. This is going to be the worst shit. And like, on top of that, I don't see how this is going to be healing. I,

I actually think that if you're doing something like this, I actually think it's really irresponsible to do this. Like, Hey, I've got this idea. This will heal ourselves. I think if you're really trying to heal as a group, you literally need a professional to sit down there and like guide the process, but like not let's go and like just do

air out the worst things we've ever said about each other. I was like, this is not going to help. Nothing will be released. Because guess what? By the way, you may not realize this. You do this every year at the reunion. There's no release that comes from that. Yeah, I think what Heather is doing is just setting up a nice much. She's doing this big friendship monologue. And then her thing is going to be something really mean about Whitney. So it doesn't look suspicious when Whitney throws all this Lisa Barlow stuff out. I mean, I'm sure Heather knew that that was in there.

These shows are so obvious. And everybody's got their pre-prepared thing ready. They didn't like sit there and scroll on their phones forever. Because how do you find – like if ever I've said anything nasty about someone on text, I'm sure I have. But like I don't remember when and what – I don't even remember what I said about someone if I was in a bad mood. Like I don't know how you even find it. You have to do like a huge amount of scrolling. And so they definitely were given this assignment. You could just be like cocksucker.

Oh, here it is. It's called Ronnie. Alison Roman's like, well, remember you wrote this thing about Ronnie to me? Here it is. Thanks, Alison. And the garden's like, say it, say it, forget it, write it, regret it. Am I right? How delicious is that? I was thinking that this episode is the epitome of that saying. Yeah, truly. So listen, first of all,

Terrible idea. And by the way, when I mean terrible idea, I forgot to say terrible idea. Yes, queen. Yes. Terrible idea for their relationships. Terrible. Great idea for us. You go, girl. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap.

For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckas. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.

Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Catherine DiBernardo has our heart-o. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels! Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Jamie, she has no less name-y. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Hava Nagila Weber. No.

Know Your Worth with Jason Kerr. We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns. She's Our Kind of Mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip Some Scotch with Jessica Trach. Knock Knock Knocking on Katie Mannock's Door. She's Our Favorite Streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a Bee in Your Bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the Funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She Gets an A from Us, it's Lindsay Deeb.

Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox.

Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson. Have a heck of a time with Rebecca. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we can-a. It's Savannah. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. The Bay Area Betches.

Betches. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. She's got a leg up, it's Beth Ani. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch.

She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Shadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alcalani. The incredible, edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose.

Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys.

If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.