Shownotes Transcript
One of the reasons we love watching Bravo shows is for the luxury. I mean, come on, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Most of the time I can just watch it for the shots of the gorgeous city and the houses. And let's not forget Lisa Barlow's $60,000 ring that she lost. Oh, heck yeah.
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When a young woman named Desiree vanishes without a trace, the trail leads to Cat Torres, a charismatic influencer with millions of followers. But behind the glamorous posts and inspirational quotes, a sinister truth unravels. Binge all episodes of Don't Cross Cat early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Watch what happens. Watch what happens. Watch what happens. Watch what happens.
Hello and welcome to Watch Watch Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and glorious Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Well, hello, how are you doing?
you know, I am just great. I'm just great. It's Monday. I'm back in LA. I feel, feel great to be back here. Had a nice morning and ready, ready to dive into real housewives of Atlanta. Um,
But before we do that, we've got three shows left on the Mountain Hysteria Tour. It's been a wild and great ride so far. So come finish it out with us. May 9th, Emo's in Austin. May 10th, the Texas Theater in Dallas. And May 15th, Wise Guys Town Square in Las Vegas. Those are going to be three amazing shows. You better be there.
You better, if you're in Texas, you better put on your cowboy hat and you better march right on down to our show and take a seat and enjoy yourself. And if you're in Vegas,
No cowboy hat required, but you can still wear one and just come and enjoy yourself as well. So we're going to have a great time. Tickets are at watchworkrappins.com. And also go to patreon.com slash watchworkrappins to get access to our bonus episodes and also our crappins on demand feature, which allows you to watch us, not just listen to us. So that's all the fun stuff in store for you.
Great times. All right, let's get into Real Housewives of Atlanta, season 16, episode 7, Nashville, Hold'em. Nashville. This ain't Texas. That's for true. That's for real, because it's Nashville. So we start off with a classic trope from the world of The Real Housewives, which is where the kind of like,
middle class one who lives in a town home goes to a car dealership and pretends like they're gonna buy a Rolls Royce. So that's... I know, I was like, wow, you know, you're really stretching the imagination here. Yes. Okay. This is definitely the Dorit scene of that. Ooh, let's go to the Bentley store. Oh!
It's like, ma'am, I think you're $11 million in debt, you know? But okay, let's go with it. But they do have enough credit to test drive. So that's saying something because they actually do get to sit in the car. And Britt is one of those annoying people who gets a noisy car and then just sits in it and hits the gas over and over to hear it go. I have across the street neighbors who do that constantly. I've never wanted to key a car. Like I want to.
this fucking car. I want to key this car. Not even key. I want to egg it. I want to key it. I want to save up some poop and just go poop on. I want to poop on their car and I want to do it right in front of their ring cam so they see me. They're like, there's a crazy old queen across the street. Is he wearing a turban? And why is he pooping on my car? It might be worth it.
it honestly might be will be will i go to jail possibly will i make it to the top of the next door feed you bet your ass i will i definitely saw a video over this weekend on instagram i was like from someone's ring cam uh someone had like uh like a sports car and a fox the fox there was a fox on the block baby
A fox like was sort of like walking along and you know how sometimes animals, they're crazy. They'll just like walk on anything. And the, the fox was like on a side thing and then got up on the, like the hood of this sports car and was just like walking across the sports car and then just sort of stop and just like shat on the hood and then just kept on going.
So maybe you need to get a fox. That's so funny. That is a Texas animal for sure. That's how animals are here. They like look you right in the eye while they poop on your sidewalk. I saw one where it was a freeway shot with someone's car cam and the freeway, a bull ran through the freeway and it was chasing a guy and it jumped on top of a car and crushed it and then kept running. And the lady just got out of her car. And I love that her first thought, she's like, I'm going to stay here in traffic and just call State Farm. She's calling the cop. It's like, what are you calling the cop on the...
- On the bull. - I'm not gonna come for the bull on the freeway. Move your car. If I was in the car behind her, I'd be like, move the fuck over. We've still gotta get to work, ma'am. - I cannot believe that that happened and that someone actually recorded it happening. A bull stomping on a car in traffic. - It was so good. - It was good. Okay, so here we go. Britt is at the car dealer shop. - Speaking of bull, let's have Britt talking about how she's gonna buy this car. - Yeah. She's like, "Oh my God, man.
Like, that man won't even get you granite countertops, ma'am. You are still cutting on plastic countertops. Why would you believe him? Yeah. Why? It's not going to happen. He also, he kind of has the energy of Greg from The White Lotus. He just sort of looks at her like, really, this is...
this is who I wound up with. I guess she'll do. He's like, oh yeah, I promised. She's like, yeah, happy wife, happy life. He's like, yeah, well, okay, fine. He like is so, he is not about this charade. Like he, she was like, honey, we have to shoot a scene where I pretend to buy a luxury car. He's like, but I just got you a Toyota. No, we have to pretend we're getting a luxury car. He's like, they're standing in the lot. Like I could be home watching football.
Yeah. And instead, they're checking out a Ferrari F8 Tributo priced $458,000. That is $457,000 more than this lady has. And we all know it. And she's like, oh, can you hear a saxophone? Yeah.
Oh my God. It's on TV. He put sex in the engine on TV. Fire it. I don't hear sex in the engine. I hear annoying ass person in my neighborhood in the engine. That's what I hear. I hear douchebaggery in the engine. That is what I hear as well. That's what I hear. So she's like, oh, I had a rough couple of weeks. I mean, I couldn't get out of bed. I was crying so hard. Okay. Your victim storyline's over. Yeah.
You had your episode. I've declared it over. I no longer feel for you. It's over. I felt for you last week. It's done now. It's expired. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of agree as well. Like, I think it's really shitty what Kenny did. Like, deeply, thoroughly shitty. But I'm kind of like, okay. You've had an episode. You've had a week. Listen. I can feel for somebody and also feel this. Shut up. Okay.
Shut up. So we see Drew goes to Angela's now and Angela's like, oh wow. Oh wait, no, Britt, I'm sorry, Britt has a good quote here. So she's still going, and she lifts her leg up and is like, if you can't fuck in the car, you shouldn't buy the car. Okay. Well, that's...
Another reason I don't want to work at a Kia dealership. Not a great endorsement for a coupe. So see all these soccer moms just like, honey, can we fucking this? Let's try it. Like, no ma'am, please pull your leggings up, ma'am. Okay. This is a Kia dealership. Put your fucking pants back on ma'am. Okay.
So then we go, Drew goes over to Angela's. Now, and I've been trying to do Angela's voice literally all week. And every time I think I've got it, this is where I wound up at. Oh,
I don't know why I closed my nose for that. I'm just used to doing Brit. Like I can't do Angela's voice at all. Angela may be my new candy. Like, cause she has like a bubble in her throat, but she also has this sort of like slow drawl that I think is like really enchanting. Cause like no matter, even when she's mad, she'll be like, I don't know. I can't do it. Her voice is a little bit of like a white whale for me. Is that what they call it? A white whale, a Moby Dick. I think it's,
I mean, I've heard of the Moby Dick, you know, like that's your great Moby Dick and you're the Ahab chasing it through the ocean. She has that bubble voice. You know? Yeah. I don't know how to do it either. So I'm not going to try. So basically, Drew goes over to her house and Drew's carrying around this little purse that shaped like, I don't know, like a margarita. Oh, a Cosmo. It's the Judith Lieber Cosmo clutch. And it's $5,975. I don't believe this either.
I don't believe it. That's a Timu purse. It's Marshall's. That is a team. By the way, congratulations to me. I just won $400 on Timu. Unfortunately, I have to check out within 29 minutes. Oh, wow. Good luck. That's huge. So they're settling in and everything. And Andrew's like, by the way, Drew, I'm going to have to let you know. I spoke with Marcus and he said you guys are not related. And Drew's like, oh, yeah.
You know, I said that as a joke and we get a flashback that Angela is apparently talking about Marcus Jordan, you know, sometimes Bravo star. And we see a flashback to last week when Drew said, you know that Michael Jordan is my cousin. Yeah, my maiden name is Drew Jordan. And I'm very happy because I feel like normally you're the great predictor on this show.
I feel like I was really, really outspoken about predicting that this was a blatant lie, that Drew Jordan is not related to Michael Jordan. I just said it. I think I said it. I hope I said it. I at least internally- - Yeah, we didn't believe that shit. Yeah, not that we're supposed to believe that. - And I was like, this is a lie, Drew.
Drew Jordan. And it's clearly a lie. Clearly a lie. It's so much of a lie. I can't believe Michael Jordan didn't come out and say, nah. Yeah. And then when she's now, so now Angela calls her out on it and now she's like, Oh, I was just, that was a joke. You know, that was a joke, you know, because my mom was like, it was probably a cousin. It's like, Drew, you were caught. Angela caught you. Yeah. You can try to make an NBA lie to someone who's married to an NBA person.
So Angela, you know, is talking about, oh, it's been a rough couple of days. You know, peace brunch. It was a sour lemonade. Food, sour lemonade. Food was only halfway cooked. And she's like, oh, no, not the food halfway cooked. So those grits still needed some cooking. So then we go back. Now we go to Kelly's.
And Kelly's with her sister, Camilla. And okay, so Kelly's dog, Cha-Cha. So last week, you were talking about the dog. And for whatever reason, I didn't notice her dog. But this week, wow, that dog, it looked like it had been to a car wash and doused with dye. I was like, what is happening with this little dog here? And we get a lot of close-ups of this dog. It is really, I've never seen a dog like this.
- Yeah, the dog has too much going on. And I think it's jeweled too. So she was like, "Oh yeah, you know, my dog is died. And the reason is, is because my dog ran away and so it was scared me, you know? And so now I have to have a very recognizable dog." Okay. But your dog wasn't stolen. - No, she said it was stolen. - Oh, it was stolen. The dog was stolen. Okay, sorry. I thought they ran away. - So she's basically like the dog was stolen.
And so now I have a dog that no one will ever be able to like, like a dog that won't just blend in. Like it's like, that's Kelly's dog. So I'm like, okay, well I sort of see that. I also feel like there's gotta be a better way. Can you just put like a chip on it?
something like a GPS tracker on the collar or something like that. But an air tag on the damn dog, you know what I mean? Or the little thing, the little, the little rice thing you put in their neck. They have that. You don't have to make your, your dog look like, you know, Cindy Lauper's hair in 1982. Yes, that is what, and I think, doesn't it look like the dog is also bejeweled?
It looks like she's like glued jewels to the dog. It was wearing like a sweater of some sort. It looked like something was going on with that. I couldn't even process it, but it was just a strange, strange looking dog. And the fact that like the explanation for it was because...
She was stolen. I was like, of course it's the most melodramatic response, like backstory to all those ridiculous hair dye. Yeah. And she was like, well, we end up, the police were involved in this and we ended up finding the dog on Craigslist.
And when I got her back, I said, no one will ever get Cha-Cha. She will be so hideously ugly. Not even a drag queen will steal this dog. It's over the top, even for a drag queen. And she's like, and we did what we had to do. And don't worry, all the colors are vegan and animal cruelty free. They're not cruelty free to the dog. And that's an animal. And I'm like, the producer called her out. The producer was like, oh yeah, nice that you're saying vegan and animal cruelty free while you're wearing a fur. And she's like, oh.
She doesn't, and she doesn't even say, Oh, this is fake. She just like, ha ha ha ha. She just looked down because people are apparently real fur is back in. People are wearing real fur again. And it's like, that's like the trend for 2025. Who would have thought, who would have thought, who would have guessed in 2025?
So then Portia's talking to Kelly. She's like, so what happened when you went to the Peace Branch? And Kelly's like, well, Drew and Angela walked in and they already had, they were already team twirl. So Britt, she was already in defense mode. And, you know, because she's dealing with a lot of things on the blogs, you know, as am I, but mine are more waffle related. So it's much easier to process or to digest, if you will. It's a little joke. So then we go back to the car dealership and...
Britt, you know, she just cares about the rims. She's like, "I like the rims on that car." And so now they're talking about the peace brunch. And she's like, "You know, I didn't appreciate Angela. Like she says that she knows about insurance. Like how does she know about insurance? She doesn't know what's going on with me. I'm under investigation." - Yeah, but you were also caught lying because you said that they took your license. And then when you were confronted on it, you said, "Oh no, I'm only being investigated." So you already got caught in a lie.
Ma'am, I watched it again to make sure. Liar. You're already a liar. So I don't care about you. I don't believe you. You're just a stupid liar. And I don't care. And you're not being, I don't even care if you're being investigated. And if you are being investigated, maybe it's for something shadier, which is maybe what Angela is alluding to. Like, are you using this to cover up for whatever fraud investigation is already going on? But, um.
Here's what I can see happening. Okay, now I don't understand the ins and outs of the insurance industry. I do know that they are very straight laced and they're, you know, it is a serious, a serious, serious industry. But what I can imagine happen is that like this whole thing, you know, when it happened, there were headlines about it. And so Britt wound up, you know, in the spotlight a little bit, you know, she was in the blogs and,
And I can imagine that then her suddenly higher profile maybe surfaced something like it made her land on the radar of some people at the insurance agency and like, oh, she's an insurance agent. Let me look her up. This is funny. Like, wow, I can't believe this agent that I deal with all the time is in the scandal. And like, wait a second.
That's like an unpaid something or another, or that's an improper something or another. I can imagine that it led to something. Her higher profile may have led to something. Of course, this is speculation because there's no indication whatsoever that she has done anything wrong or not paid bills or not done anything. So I'm not saying that she's being shady, but it would make sense if she was under investigation more that not that she'd be under investigation because she's
She gave a guy a blow job when she was, you know, 19 or whatever it was, but maybe because the high profile nature of this stupid scandal then surfaced something that looked a little weird in her record in terms of professionally. That's all I can imagine. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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So I Googled "Brett Eady insurance fraud" just to see what would come up. Much faster than my explanation. I don't think it's much faster because it's long. Because of course, where did it lead me to? Reddit. Where else? The Bible of truth, Reddit. So, um...
Someone made a post 14 days ago. It said, "Brit Eady's Insurance Company? Melty face." You know the face that's like melting. Not that long ago, I was reading some article from the Real Housewives discussion and they had a link to Brit Eady's insurance company. Now let me tell you something. I wasn't expecting much, but I wasn't expecting this little either. My dad owns one of the biggest law firms in the country, in the world, that handles insurance. So I do have some knowledge.
When you go on her website, you're first greeted with a video of Brit where she literally says absolutely nothing about what her business does. Just a ton of empty promises about sign up now and you'll grow your business. Well, unless you count her repeatedly saying things such as I'm going to help you find your way slash map out your blueprint, but then tell you nothing about how I will achieve it. So, um, is that
She's basically selling lessons. So it doesn't even look like an insurance agency. It's like she's selling women empowerment lessons and she's got a picture of a mansion and she's got a picture of a G wagon. And it says what you will learn, how to break into the industry, how to determine which side of the industry is right for you.
you why being an insurance agent is also lucrative. And there's like 20 bullet points. And then it says included online courses, actress to my funding team, my funding team opportunity to open your own agency with my affiliate program app access to the community on the go inserts of Brit Edy's original business plan. What? Brits insurance playbook ebook.
Special discounts on future offers, downloadable worksheets, and bonus content. So, I don't know what the fuck's going on. I guess she's selling, like, Brit empowerment courses. And you, too, can get an internet picture of a G-Wagon on your insurance site. Dun-dun-dun. An insurance masterclass. Yeah, it's... I'm on the site, and...
Yeah, I don't know. Her LinkedIn said that she was an Allstate agent until 2023. I don't know. I also feel...
Listen, we've been, we've been at this, this isn't our first time at the rodeo and we know when people, when, when people have their websites and they have, they flaunt their, like their G wagons and everything, um, on, on the real housewives shows, we know that usually the bottom falls out at some point. So we'll just wait and see where, where the cracks are, et cetera. But
I just wouldn't be surprised. She says, if you're interested, I stumbled upon the insurance industry and turned an untapped opportunity into a multimillion dollar career path. I created a lane with no traffic in it. I took over the game and made a name for myself in an industry that was boring and male dominated. And now I'm here to teach the game and how I did it. Wow. She really did a lot without that Allstate gig. Yeah.
Her LinkedIn says she was there from January 2020 to April 2023. So I guess she really turned that Allstate
She went from Allstate to All American, apparently. She really blew it up with that lucrative, lucrative, that crazy, crazy insurance. Yeah, queen. You can see how she did it for $149. Or you can get her insurance playbook for another $149. Look, do I have proof of anything? No, I don't even know what I'm alleging here. But here is what I'm saying. For sure, I know 100%. I do not believe you. No.
Yeah, it feels something. I just feel like there's more to the story in this this situation. And I just I just I have a hard time believing that like should be under investigation for like, revenge porn that Kenya drug up, you know, I just I think there's more to the story.
So here's what she's giving us this week with Mike, with her scene with Mike. She's saying, you know, I mean, you know what's going on with me. You know, I'm under investigation. And she tells us this woman came for my career. She's calling me a porn star, an escort and a fraud. And due to this whole situation at hand with all these accusations being thrown around, my license is being investigated.
And she's like, you know, because being in insurance, there's a lot of red tape. And he goes, yeah, yeah, you know, and there's like dealings, dealings with the general public, you know, and they don't take very kind to that type of stuff. What the fuck does that mean? You know, it's dealing with the general public and they don't take kindly. You know what insurance, you know, insurance agencies hate?
is when their agents deal with the public. You know what, like that's why insurance agencies are sure to not flood us with commercials, make sure there's very few billboards and they just don't like to reach out for new clients. That's famously what insurance is all about. - And she's saying she went through a very hefty background check
She's like, they wanted me to be squeaky clean. Okay, but then how was this other? This is crazy. So then she says, and you know, Angela lacks empathy. And I thought she was a girl's girl. And now I'm like, I can't trust you, bitch. So what if I bring up all the things I heard about you? Because I heard about her husband had a baby on her. And I'm not over here worrying about what you're doing in your personal life. And-
They ask where she heard that. But I love that she's like, you know what? Someone slandered me that was, by the way, not Angela at all. Angela was actually supportive of her. So I'm going to slander somebody else in revenge. Like, what the fuck kind of thing is that? Yeah, when all Angela said was like, wait, you lost your...
you lost your, your, your license. How did you lose it? How did that happen? And then, so she's saying, because Angela questioned her on that front, she is now going to say, well, I guess also that she met with Kenya first. I think that was the real bone of contention. She's like, okay, well here's my response to that is I'm going to create a whole lie that, um, your husband has a baby with someone else, which is more of like, that's actually more of a destructive life. You asked me because that's actually like, um,
could ruin a family. Maybe it's true. It could be true. But like either way, I kind of feel like that's a really outsized response to what Angela did. Yeah. But even if it is true, which it probably is, I mean,
I think it's true just because I've read it too. So if I've read it on the internet before, then I assume it's true. I don't know if it's true, but if it is true, so was the stuff about her doing stuff online as evidenced by pictures. It doesn't make it right to out it like that on TV. So she's just proven that it's okay. Like, so it's okay because you haven't seen pictures of whatever. So only the, she sucks.
Right. Like she, she, there's not like, she didn't like take a lesson from this and say, what was done to me was so hard that I would never do that to someone else. She's like, what was done to me was hard. And now I'm going to do it to somebody else. Not even the person that deserves it. Now, admittedly, there is a difference between, you know, sort of,
coily or maybe not so coily announcing a rumor versus like having pictures of you like giving a blow job being paraded around on poster board at like a public event. And that is a different, there's a way different kind of embarrassment. So I'm not going to, but that's also not what Angela did to her. So like, it's not even a comparison because if we're going to compare what they actually did to each other, Angela did nothing to her.
And she's going to do this to Angela now. She sucks. Angela just challenged her lightly. I get what you're saying. The revenge porn, it doesn't change anything about the revenge porn being horrible for Brit.
But that's what I'm saying. It's just like, it doesn't make it more, it doesn't make it less horrible, but Brit doing this makes Brit more horrible. So the one thing that Brit has done all season is that she's been incredibly fragile with these things. Like even when, when Kenya went to like give her like a sort of a little hug and she's like, that's not a hug. You didn't give me a proper hug. Like everything with her is like, Oh my God, Brit. Everything is like, is, is an affront to humanity with her. Yeah. Um,
Yeah, she's an asshole. So then she's like, yeah, so should I bring that up? And she says, well, there's whispers that Charles had a baby on her, you know, and now for you to have so much to say about me, I guess you should be worried about yourself because these rumors don't just fall out of the sky, sweetie. Well, neither do anything that's come up. Neither does anything that's come out about you. It doesn't make it.
True or untrue, it just makes you a shitty person for doing this. So then we go back to Angela and Drew, and Angela's like, I thought it was a peace gathering, and I was so ready to receive Britt peacefully and just hear her out. And I just thought she would have been more vulnerable about the whole thing. And Drew's like, yeah, a little more humble. Yeah, Drew.
I just hope that there's some growth. Yeah, Bruce Adora, the humblest one, starting lies about how she's cousins with the most iconic basketball player of all time. So then, Drew's like, speaking of, by the way, she actually texted me, Britt texted me and said, I feel like we got off on the wrong foot yesterday. Would you be down to meet me for a drink so that way we can become friends and isolate Angela? And I said, sure, sure.
So Angela's like, oh, that sounds like a date. You know, she's like, yeah, well, we'll see. The jury's out. But, you know, we're just going to let her sit right there and we will see. We will see. Because she is so lucky to be able to sit with recording artist Drew Sedera.
So now they move the conversation to Ralph and Ralph is in the house and she's sick of leaving the house, but she's got a court date and she and her attorney are trying to convince the judge to keep the case sealed to protect the children from Ralph's horrible behavior.
Did we ever find out what was in this? Because they unsealed it, right? So what was it? I'm assuming it was the stuff that the lawyer said on camera that maybe it would not have been allowed on camera had it remained sealed. Remember when the lawyer was like, well, he hasn't paid this. He hasn't done this. He hasn't done this. He's been tracking you. I'm assuming that stuff was the stuff that was sealed. Yeah.
This is another fishy area here. I mean, Drew's adora. Every year, every year there's always some amazing half-Drews. 'Cause now Drew is saying like, she's telling us like, "I just don't want the kids to have to read about all of mommy and daddy's fighting." And then she later on, she winds up saying something about how like, "Oh, she's just, I'm fine. Like there's nothing for me to be embarrassed. I just don't want them to find out." Like she says, "It's just more for Ralph. I feel bad for Ralph for people finding it out." Like, no.
you have some shit in there that you don't want to come out. And we all know a drew. And it's not, there's gotta be something about drew in there because the rest of it, she's put on TV. So it's not like she's kept it completely out of wraps. And we know that children are more likely to watch TV than they are to read. I mean, unless children have changed their,
in some miraculous way. So now she's saying, you know, this thing with Porsche is interesting because Dennis had a conversation with Ralph early on to get permission. And I had a conversation with Porsche and neither one of them had a problem until now. It's like now the cameras are up and they want to have a problem. - Right. So now over at Kelly's, Cynthia's there by the way, Cynthia had a spiel earlier about how- - I feel like so many Cynthia scenes begin this way.
where we're like, oh yeah, Cynthia's there too. Yeah. Like Cynthia actually had like a whole moment that we just totally just blew past where she was just like, I'm not dating or I'm not. She just talked about guys in her life that like literally did not have any impact. So Cynthia's like, so,
Portia, did you make up with you and Drew yet? Portia's like, no, I moved on in a very mature fashion. Very much not old Portia. Yes. Very mature Portia, who later on this episode is going to throw a fit about Drew's adoring. Portia, by that, Portia means I have not kicked her in the stomach yet. Okay. That's what Portia means by that.
And so she goes, "Oh, okay, so you guys are good." And she's like, "Well, I wouldn't say good. I mean, you're using beautiful adjectives. You know, some people, you just realize who they are and you don't let them get close. And clearly, you didn't think that much of our business relationship or our personal relationship, so I'm done."
Okay. I mean, she's working with Dennis. But I think her album did well, I read. I mean, look, this is one of the rare cases where Portia is being extremely petty. But I kind of back it because I also feel like Drew is a scam artist. So I kind of feel like her instincts are probably correct on this one. Did Drew's album really do well?
I think so. Wow. I read that because, you know, I read stuff on the internet, so I believe it. Well, now that she's worked with Dennis, the hot dog man, maybe her next step is to get a song produced by DJ Mustard. Hey, yo.
- It actually peaked at number six on the US iTunes R&B Soul Albums chart, making it her highest charting project on the platform. And her song, "I Did It To Me." - Wow, that's a good Drew song. - It's a song about spilling ketchup on yourself at Costco while having a hot dog. ♪ I did it to me ♪
Second only to her song "Tide Stick", reached number five on the iTunes R&B charts. So yeah, I mean, that did well, all right. Damn. - Okay. - Go Drew. - Good for her. Good for Drew. - Let's continue ragging on Drew.
It does not change anything for me, but good for her. So Portia's saying, by the way, I want to move on. So my birthday is coming up and I invited all the girls and you were not in that call, actually, by the way, but I had a call. Cynthia, sorry. I knew your phone still doesn't have FaceTime on it. So here's what happened. I said, let's be like Cowboy Carter and like go to Nashville and it'll just be like a bunch of like bad, beautiful bitches. And like, I'm going to...
I'm just gonna bring a few other friends. She's like, who? She's like, um, it's my sister, Lauren Manietta, Chanel, Amy Provey, Gabby from the Traders. Um, there's someone down the street who I like. Oh, the barista at Starbucks. I'm gonna invite them. Oh, there's an old librarian from my childhood. I reached out to her. Really just a small group of people. I love when people do a straight up recasting trial where they're like, oh, I don't like any of these people. I'm gonna bring on all of my friends and hope they just get cast on this show. I know.
And I was fine with it. Although I was like, not Monietta, please not Monietta. - I like Monietta. - You do? - Yeah, I mean, yeah. They showed, it's amazing when, no matter what the season and how much we complain about said season of any "Housewives" show, whenever we see a clip of that season years later, I'm like, oh my God, that was such a good season. So I'm watching "Black Mirror" and one of the jokes in "Black Mirror" is they're on the spaceship and one of the episodes are on a spaceship.
like a Star Trek spaceship. And one of the girls on the ship is obsessed with Real Housewives of Atlanta. So whenever she gets a break, she puts it on the big screen and it's so fucking funny. And it was a, it was a Mineta season. Someone's like, wait a minute, which one is that again? And she's like, oh, this is the one where she gets angry because somebody slams door in her face. And she goes, really? She goes, it was heavy door. It was very heavy door.
That was Monyeta's. I'm like, I like Monyeta. She's on Black Mirror. Yeah. Well, I'm happy that she actually got like a featured moment on Black Mirror. That's actually very cool. But I just feel like Monyeta is sort of of that class of like friend dubs that are like, they're fine. But like they just. Monyeta didn't really do much. Yeah. Yeah. I want. I remember. You know, give me a Tanya. Bring Tanya back. Normalize Tanya coming back.
- Tanya was not amazing. Let's just say this, Tanya was not amazing, but she was amazing. - She had that Benihana day, remember that was fun. - She did, she did. - Yeah, she got Bolo shamed though, so she's never coming back here. - Yeah, she's gone. - But there's one point they show Marlo going off about something, she goes, "I love her, I love Marlo, what a bitch."
i think shamara should come back as a friend of and i think that that was what was proposed at one point and didn't her husband say like no it's either you're you're full-time or nothing is that is that well who knows yeah i think that that was the story but yeah who knows who knows what happened but anyway here we are with our new cast and they're talking about this nashville trip and uh of course she's not inviting drew
And so then we see the Zoom call where Portia, Shamia, Angela, Britt and Kelly are all talking about this trip. And Angela's like, "Well, but I'm missing my Chicago partner. I need, you know, can I have a plus one?" And she's like, "Um, for some reason, Angela, your call is the only one on silent." Like she makes a joke.
So, which becomes a point of contention soon. So Porsche is like, yeah, you know, fuck it. I'm moving forward with peace, but I'm not inviting anybody I don't like to my birthday trip, including her. Yeah. So which I get it's your birthday. Why would you have someone that you don't like? But we also know this is a cast trip. So you're kind of icing someone out of the show, which, you know, we have traditionally never approved of.
So we go back to Angela and Drew and Angela's like, so Portia's birthday trip to Nashville is coming up and I really would just like to hear all this. And so I would like for you to just accept my invitation and come along. And Drew's acting like she's not wanting to do cartwheels across the porch and like raise pom poms and be like, yes, I'm on the gas trip. She's like, oh, well, I don't know. I do love you, but I'm not sure. Drew, you know, you want to be there. Stop acting coy.
Yeah, and as we find out later, Drew's got other plans anyway. Passive aggressive plans, I'd like to add. She's like, you know, just with energy and how it's been, I just feel like, you know, it would have to come from her. I'm just such an easy person to communicate with. I just don't understand. And meanwhile, Portia's like, yeah, she's a pathological liar. Yes. Fuck her, you know.
Pretty much. So then we go back to Britt and Mike, who are still at the car dealership, now in a different car, pretending that they're going to buy. Which, by the way, we never see any checks being written or papers being signed. And Britt's like, Well, as far as the trip is concerned, I feel like it's going to be a good vibe there. I'm really ready for peace. Which is...
One of my favorite things that they always say before a trip, like literally never in the history of any Real Housewives trip has a trip ever been good vibes. Like they go on the trips because they know the producers know it'll create chaos. And every single time they're like, this trip will be a great reset. We're, you know, we're just going to come out as better friends from it. I was like, no, you're going to be traumatized. Yeah. Yeah.
So now we're catching up with the ladies around town as we do. Kelly's teaching Chloe how to drive, which thankfully is cut to a five second scene and we do not have to suffer through the whole, I'm teaching my child to drive. Look at my kid trying to parallel park. Yeah. And then we see...
a lot of the, sorry, I was in a different section there. Okay. So Mia is now singing. She's with B flat, her producer, and she's singing her song cause she's going to become a big star. And then Angela's with her kids and she has made some fries. She made like a little bowl of fries. And you know, Charles was watching and like, wow, like, are you even trying to cook for people? Like you need to have about 40 times more fries. Like that's ridiculous. Yeah.
So she's with her son, and she's talking about how...
She goes, "Hey, how's my face doing?" And he's like, "I've been told you about this." I was like, "I told you. Why would you do this to yourself?" And she's like, "Yeah, you know, when I got my nose job initially, it was just too pinched, but I was advised to get Botox to blow up my nose. And then I did, and then my whole face blew up. And so my kid won't stop making fun of me." And he's like, "You look like Yoshi from Super Mario. And we found a fill-in for this show. Finally, a solid..."
Dependable fill-in for crappins. Yeah, truly. So then Portia's, we're at Portia's and Cynthia comes to visit again because that's all Cynthia does. She just visits. Oh, hey,
I kind of just like followed you home from Kelly's house. You want to hang out still? You're still socializing? She's like, okay, well, are you ready for Nashville? It's like, yeah, I got to go on Amazon and find my cowboy hat, which I love that Cynthia is getting her cowboy hat from Amazon. Like most of us would, but I kind of feel like if you're a real housewife, you go to a proper cowboy hat store and get like a nice one. You go to like Kimo Sabe's of Atlanta, but she's like, no, I'm getting my $15 one from Amazon. Commercials.
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So she's like, you know, if you'd if you'd have told me six months ago that you and this man would be going through this, I'd be like, wow, Portia, that's about five times as long as I've ever lasted with a man without having any kind of drama. So good for you. Yeah, I wake up every morning and I feel shocked, shocked. This this this whirlwind romance is falling apart. And Cindy's like, yes, my favorite hashtag was.
Be his peace. Hashtag be his peace. It went from be his peace to can you give me some peace, goddammit. Which is a longer hashtag, but still. And Portia's like, yeah, give me the peace. So then we go to Cafe Belly.
And Drew and Britt sit for their lunch. Now I'd just like to point out that we know Drew is going to try it at this lunch because she has worn a life-size crucifix. So let's see what Pastor Drew tries to pull out today.
So she first says that she was really happy that Britt reached out. And she's like, you know, you did come in really hot at the peace brunch. And she's like, well, I was like, nobody wants to hear how I felt. I was like, how could they not? Like, it's all you were doing. It was like, what about me? So then Britt saying that she's just like hoping to be positive. And, you know, that's what she was trying to do at the peace brunch. But Drew was defending Kenyo. So she had like no patience for that.
Yeah, 'cause she said at the brunch, "I understand how she felt, being threatened with a weapon. She's gonna protect herself." So Britt's like, "You know, I'm the one who was publicly humiliated. Where's my support?" She goes, "Okay, okay, I get that.
But I'm going to be honest, you were just very much like, okay, Kenya's no longer going to be here. And I mean, I get that too. Like the newbie of the cast being like, here's how casting is going to work. She's out, you know? So they're kind of trying to stand up for Kenya in that regard. And I think that they're kind of like mourning in a weird way. This sounds weird. I think they're kind of mourning Kenya, like sort of the way we all did, which is like, wow, Kenya, you're so good at this. How?
how could you, how could you, like, how could you do this? Like, you're so much better than this and you're just, you're so good at being the villain. Like the fact that you had to like resort to this like hideous stunt, like you're better than that. You can do better. And it's kind of like, oh, like the way we're all kind of like, oh, whether you like or hate Kenya, you still kind of like, I think most people kind of
holds space for her being kind of like, you know, an excellent villain. And when you see someone who's just as so good at doing the one thing that they do and then they fail at it, you're like,
Well, there's also the element of like, here we are, we just rebooted a show and now you're getting rid of the biggest star of the show. So what the fuck are you doing lady? Like what the fuck do you think you're doing? So Drew's like, you know, I mean, it just felt a little celebratory and I just think we were all taken aback. Like I'm getting to know you, but I'm just trying to understand you. And she's like, well, I've always been an open book. And if there's anything you want to ask, I have no problem answering it. So she goes, okay.
So, did you ever sell it? She's like, what? She goes, the cat. Did you ever sell the cat? And she goes, um, no, I have never sold cats. Okay. Have you ever done pornography with your cat? I've never fucked cats on camera. Have you ever done pornography while listening to the soundtrack of Cats? Well, I haven't done pornography in the first place. So...
But I have listened to cats while I blew people for money on camera. Is that what you mean? I did once meet a guy who did call himself Mr. Mistoffelees. I never really understood it until this moment.
Okay, so then she says, "No, I've not, I've not. Excuse me, I have not done, I can't even talk." Okay, so she gets flustered, right? So she's like, "Yeah, I mean, never ever cat, what, meow." Okay, so I've not done porn, but I have done webcam. Okay, now I've seen a few webcams in my day. Is that considered porn? They were definitely doing porny things on there. You know, not to out myself. I think like,
I don't, I don't want to be a prude or anything, but like, I'm not being a prude. I've looked at webcam. No, I know. I'm certainly not a prude. I'm like, I kind of think webcam is porn. Like, and I don't have it. I don't. And I say that with no judgment. I'm like, but I think it, I think it counts, but I think it's a full supporter of porn. What'd you say?
I say as a full supporter of porn, I think that you do pointy stuff on webcam. I think that would be considered porn. I don't know. Does there need to be like a studio involved? I just don't know how it works. I mean, look, it's not going to be shown on Disney plus, right?
Well, you never know. They change their things. Now you're an adult and they show you a Nora. I mean, they might as well show you. I was like, wow, how can I watch Mufasa and a Nora? Like, why are these things listed right by each other? You know, I was talking to my friend Susan and I said, let me go and watch some classic Beauty and the Beast. And there's a Nora right there with the Erika Jayne song. No, I mean, like.
I know there's different tiers of porn, and that's fine. I don't know. But I think, again, it's just one of those things where you just... I don't know. It feels like she's being a girl. Look, I feel like you shouldn't be shamed for it either way, whether it's webcam or whether it's porn. I'm just confused. Why is one considered porn?
- And the other's not. So she's like, and I did it with my friend, my friend that's a woman. And basically we were just on there naked, like having conversations. So, okay. So she's like, but as far as intercourse or doing anything explicit, I've never done that. It's just like conversational naked. I was like, how'd you make money from that?
Well, listen, people pay for a lot of things. And if your kink is watching a naked lady just chat, then, hey, it's like voyeuristic, I suppose. I mean, look, people pay for Larsa Pippen. So there's a every pot has a lid. I guess a lot of pots just need lids. Just put a lid on. Some lids are a little harder to explain than other lids. But, you know, a lid is a lid is a lid.
So she tells us she only did webcam for a week in her twenties because her and her best friend were like, "Oh, this is fun and daring and spicy." And she's like, "And I'm not ashamed of it. So for women to shame me is kind of like, you guys probably did worse than what I did." And Britt's like, "So did you say
that you knew the recipient of this dick sucking incident. So this is another big controversy that's been going on online. Supposedly Ming Lee, do you know who she is? - Ming Lee. - Ming Lee supposedly had dated
People common people. And that's where this footage came from. But then Ming Lee is denying it saying, ah, that did not come from me. Leave me alone. So that's what's going on off the show. But apparently drew, I didn't even hear drew say that, that she's like, well, I might've known that day who got sucked. So she's like, did you say that, that you knew the recipient of this Dick sucking incident, which is a great sentence. Did you say at the get together at Shamia's that you knew the recipient of this Dick sucking incident? Yeah.
Drew was like, it was Michael Jordan, my cousin. She just said, I may. No, no. I said, I may. I said, I may. And you know when Drew's lying, when she starts squealing. And when she does her tilt. When she does a tilt, like she's like in a...
billboard for like a diner or something like come to Drew's Diner. I don't know. And she says that she got a DM from the person whose it was, but she doesn't know for sure. And she goes, I mean, well, on the poster board, there were people and I thought I recognized one of the people on the poster board. She goes, oh, wait, so you recognize the dick. So does that mean that you suck the dick? And she goes, no, no, I didn't even know it was from him if it was his dick. And she goes, but why would you point that out there to the crew?
What is Drew talking about? I love this show. I love that Drew saw a dick and was like, I know that dick. Yeah. I recognize that dick. And then I got a DM from the person potentially whose dick it belonged to. And why is this person DMing Drew to be like, guess what? I heard you may have seen my dick recently. I want to confirm it was my dick if that was what you saw. But if you didn't see it, then it wasn't my dick. Like what? Who's going to? Why Drew Sedora? Like that's the person you're going to go for? Oh my gosh.
I'm looking things up on the internet. That's terrible. I've been doing nothing but searching Google for this. Well, we've been doing a lot of like, there's been a lot of like, like cross-checking we've had to do this episode. So was it Rick Ross? Because I looked up past dating people for Brit Eady and one was Rick Ross. Oh, they talked about that on the show. Yeah.
Okay. And then I looked, yeah, but I could, I didn't want to make a mistake. So then I put Rick Ross, Ming Lee, and it says, did Ming Lee date Rick Ross? Yes. Beauty influencer Ming Lee was in a relationship with rapper Rick Ross. Oh,
So I guess that's the gossip that she that that was his wiener and she got the wiener on her phone and had her phone. She tweeted something like I have all my iPhones since 2012 saved up. So they're like, OK, so did she pull this from her iPhone and then give it to the cast and then the cast is using it against Brit? And then that's why Drew is saying I recognize that dick.
That's so confusing. I'm sorry, I read too much Reddit. So Rick Ross DMed Drusadera. Like, Rick Ross, who's like a successful and famous musician, is like, you know what? I heard that my dick has been put on a poster. Let me go tell Drusadora privately. Rick Ross doesn't care. Yeah, I don't know. None of this is probably even true. This is just what the internet's been talking about. Okay, so...
Now, Drew's like, "Yeah, I just recognized the dick on the poster board, I think, maybe." And she goes, "But why would you put that out there to the group?" And she's like, "Oh, I like to joke. Just made a basket, like my cousin." And Britt's like, "I've just been the one publicly humiliated, so tell me, Drew, where's the joke?" And she goes, "Could you put yourself in my shoes? Imagine everything you worked for is overshadowed by someone accusing you of being a whore and a fraud."
I'm like, welcome to real housewives. That's just like, that's just like, that's, that's just the, your first step on the show is that you get called a whore and a fraud. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Your five minute one and done scene on real housewives of New York classic. Okay. That's just, that's just your initiation process. You get called a whore and a fraud. Yeah.
And then you say, "Okay, I'm not. Moving on." And Drew's like, "Well, I'm living that though. I've been in the flongs. My character's been compromised. And listen, all of these things, to hear them about you, I said, 'Who is this girl?' But I am sorry. My heart goes out to you and what you're dealing with. Do you have a copy of that poster board anyway?"
Those really good poster boards. Life-sized. We're trying to build a billboard for my new album. Just trying to assemble all the materials as possible. So Drew says, people have attacked my marriage, destroyed my character, and it hurts. I'm sorry, Drew.
You cannot compare yourself to this girl who just got like revenge porn. I'm so I like, I know it does suck when people talk about your marriage, but also like you have a scam marriage. It's kind of, you know, so she's like, yeah, I understand how Brit feels. We all can be wrong at times. We're not always going to agree, but at least we can come together and resolve our issues. So going forward in order for Britain, I to be friends, she will be living in my basement. Also.
So they do that fakey bakey Real Housewives thing where they're like, oh my God, we're gonna be friends now. And they do the whole, hey, we're friends. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckas.
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