#2713 RHOP S9E17: RHOPooptomac
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Well, hello and welcome to What's What's Crappin' It's the podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Broms I'm Ronnie, that's Ben over there Hello, Ben Hi, Ronnie, how's it going? Good, welcome back to Los Angeles Where we both just arrived after the Golden Crappie Awards What a fun night on Broadway in New York City What a dream, what a dream come true, am I right?

That was the best crappies we've ever done. That was insane right now, Madison. That was...

So amazing. What an audience. Oh my God. You guys are amazing. You guys really... Okay, this is going to sound cheesy. This is going to sound really, really cheesy. But I had a lot of people. Ron and I, we both sang songs. And we had an opening number. It was really fun. And a lot of people yesterday were like, man, were you nervous to sing your song? Because everyone knows that's not really my ministry. And I'm saying this...

In case you couldn't tell from the audio. You know, I'm an abstract artist when it comes to singing in that I choose notes that aren't necessarily the ones that you need to have, but you'd have to use an interpretation. No, but for real, though, everyone was like, were you nervous? And I'm being totally sincere about this. This is not some cheesy ass thing to say to be nice. This is totally sincere.

I actually was shocked that I wasn't that nervous when it came time to sing the song because the audience was so warm. And I kind of felt like the audience was just like there for us. I know this sounds so cheesy, but I felt like I was like, like the audience just as happy for us. And just like, and I just felt like the energy from the audience where I just felt like it just took away my nerves. I can't explain it, but I just,

I have to be just, I'm just so incredibly thankful for our audience who was there and all our guests and everything. And it was wild in there. It was wild in there. We had such a good time. We, we just had so much fun and all the guests who came, if you still want to watch that, it's streaming. You can still buy a ticket and stream it for two weeks. Um, the audio will be released. The video will not be released. So don't wait for that on Patreon. It's just what it is. You know, you buy a ticket and that's it. Then it's done. Then it's dead. Um,

And we are continuing on with the live tour. We go to Salt Lake City this week and Denver. We'll be doing Real Housewives of Salt Lake City in Salt Lake City. And then we'll be doing Southern Charm in Denver. And then we'll be out at the beginning of March again. So check out WatchWhatCrapHands.com to get your tickets for all of that stuff.

And then we've got a full week coming up here. We've got nine episodes coming up this week, including a bonus in our crappy hour. So we're not slowing down. So come find what you need. If you want Traders Recaps, those are over on Patreon. That'll be up tomorrow. And we're just having so much fun. Okay, so...

Is there anything else you wanted? Is there anything else I forgot? I just want to say that you were very understated when you said once the video was gone, it's gone. And I just want to emphasize you really need to see Ronnie in a turban with lipstick smeared on his face singing a ballad from Sunset Boulevard. So like really do not sleep on that opportunity. I just I feel like you were very low key about it. I'm like, no, you don't understand people. There are some strong visuals to see. Yeah.

By the way, also, I just want to give another shout out to our director, Mark, and our musical director, Brandon. They killed it. It was amazing. The slideshow broke and Mark fixed it mid-show. He took care of it. The entire show could have gone down in flames. And it just was great to have that support.

i know it gets you spoiled right yeah it does it's like i don't want to do anything alone anymore come in here what do we do now you know someone just hold our hands yeah so anyway this is the season finale of real housewives of puchumac uh wow that was a very dog poop filled finale how'd you feel over there

I watched this on the plane flying back because, you know, it's back to work. And I was cracking up on this plane. I could not. You know, Andy was like, the last five minutes of the Potomac finale are laugh out loud. And, you know, Andy always hypes things up. But

We did see in the preview that there's going to be a lot of dog shit everywhere. So I was like, I think he's probably going to be a hunt or something. And I could not believe how much I laughed. I was cracking. I could not control myself. And I was like, I know there are going to be people that were like, those poor dogs were probably so scared. Yeah, they probably were. But you know what? They got through it and they shot on the floor. They got their revenge. It's okay. Yeah.

Well, I mean, I learned a new trick because, you know, anyone with a dog knows that you are always waiting for the dog to poop. I mean, you wait for that dog to poop. And it's like the dog's power in life is like when it's going to poop, you know, because it knows you're waiting. And I'm standing there like Bueller, Bueller, can we just go? It's been 10 minutes. And he looks at me and then he acts like he's like maybe going to squat and then he'll start sniffing around again. And I'm like, God damn it, this dog and his fucking power plays.

And now I just know I need to buy a smoke machine and turn it on because apparently that's a huge trigger. And then every dog who is around a fog machine will just start pooping. I didn't know that was a thing. I was like, cause you know, leading up to it, I was like, I was like, I know the dogs are all going to start shitting, but how does that happen? Does it like one dog start shitting? Then they all want to start shitting. I'm like, I don't think that's a thing with dogs. Like what, what?

I thought it was going to finally be the comeback of Ramona Singer where she poops on the floor and then the dogs are all like, well, we'll poop on the floor too. She did it. You know, and that brings me to a question. Why is this cast so weak-willed? I mean, not weak-willed, but like weak in spirited? I don't mean that. Weak-stomached. Yeah.

Because they all started screaming. Karen started barfing. Everybody had this fit when they saw this dog poop. Ramona was pooping on the ground. Sonia had to wear diapers so she wouldn't poop herself or so she could poop herself on the jitneys. And everyone loved that. And then you get a few dogs doing it. No one in New York started crying and screaming and like running away and barfing into a trash can. Get stronger stomachs, Real Housewives of Potomac. For Christ's sake, at least it wasn't Ramona poop.

I swear to God, I was like, you know, when the crappies were done, I was like, okay, close that tab. Don't have to open that up for like 10 more months. And then this happened and I literally started up a new Google doc or I was like, okay, most chaotic 2026. The atomic finale. I was like, I cannot forget about this dog poop scene. We will not forget about this next year.

I'm not even joking. I did that. And it was also the episode where Stacy dropped her like what? And just told people off, which is really nice. I really enjoyed that. She's really great. I just I hope I hope that I don't know if she's in danger of losing her job, but I never know. Bravo. I just really hope that we have her for for several seasons because I think she's not going to lose her job. Are you kidding? They I'm just they have to love her.

Okay, good. Because I love that combination of prim and proper, but then it's going to come after you because she was coming after Karen. She had some good comebacks to Karen. And when people come for her, she can defend herself very quickly, which I think is a very admirable quality. I wish I had that ability. I'm a stammer defender.

And they start saying things like, well, like, which I guess is stammering anyway. But she really comes back and she's really on top of it. So, you know, I think this is a great first season for Stacey. And even though her wig was a little, you know,

I liked her wig. You liked it? And this is another cast. Like, you're making fun of wigs, Ashley? Really? Do I need to do a slideshow for Ashley? Excuse me, ma'am, but leave the wig criticism alone. You're not really in the place. You know what I mean? Oh, my God. Do you hear that noise? No, what's happening? Is there a UFO?

it is the long yeah bethany's coming down in the ufo oh my god it's the russians it's the russians it's uh it's like a leaf blower or a saw or something but why do they always wait until the second we're recording and then like what are you right at my window jesus christ what do you have my window huh huh huh i don't hear it at all if that's any consolation god this is a good mic then geez yeah well ronnie is gonna go into my gardener so i guess it's

It's okay. We'll all survive. I was going to go on the community Facebook and be like, excuse me. Some of us are trying to do things in here. It's me. Okay, everybody. As usual, I'm the problem. It's me. Also, I know about bad wigs, too, so I shouldn't complain either. But you know what? I'm bald. I have to get Amazon wigs sometimes, okay? Anyway, I really liked her wig. I thought it looked pretty, so I don't know what everybody was talking about. Right. Well, good.

Well, you know what? That's great. You know what? Everyone likes it. It's good to like things. So let's kick it off. Okay, we start off at Karen and Ray's, and Karen is choosing her outfit for Stacey's event. And Karen is like, does Stacey's dog marches of YSL? Hmm?

No, Ray Ray, I need your help. I mean, I would not wear, I don't think I'd wear anything above H&M, let alone the YSL to some sort of like doggy fashion show. I'm sorry. - Excuse me, that is so rude. Dogs deserve our love. You know, those dogs need to be adopted and it's a fashion show. And that's actually a very common thing, a dog fashion show.

I have a friend who has like a little famous Instagram dog and she does those. She, she like, I don't want to say rents her dog out. Cause that's, that's like you rent your child out to be in a commercial. You know, she had the dog has an agent, has a big Instagram following. And then she does fashion shows, this dog. And so she takes the dog from city to city and the dog walks with people in fashion. I mean, what a life.

What a life for that dog. But also, if I'm paying real money for YSL, I don't need to go into a room of dogs and then they're all jumping up on me with their paws that may be dirty and may actually also tear fabric. So it's going to be the casual stuff for me. Casual nice. Ben's only wearing a...

um, zap it gun or whatever. What do you call that? Stun gun. Like a squirt. I'm just going to be walking around with a stun gun over his wiener to like attack dogs with. No, I'm just not going to wear a couture. I'm not going to wear designer stuff. You know, I'll wear something nice. I'll wear something, but I'll do banana Republic. I'll do the nano Republic. So I'll look nice, but like, um, you know,

It's within a budget. That's all they're getting. So she's like, come here, baby. I'm trying to figure out what to wear. You know, Stacy has a dog walk rescue, which is admirable. But, you know, I'm on my own journey to rescue my two puppies, Grand and Dom.

and she explains that she is going to be getting designer dogs. Okay. They have a lifespan that's very, very short, but hopefully they'll live much longer because they'll be taken care of with me. Well, first of all, they're going to be crashing through the windshield at some point. So we all know that. So I don't think I wouldn't say like, Hey, you know, you know, where's the safe space for dogs with Karen? Okay. Nobody, nobody's going to say that right now.

Is this just her bullshit way of saying she wants a designer dog, but she's going to act like she's actually adopting them? Yeah. She's adopting them for a good cause? Like, well, normally people get these designer dogs, and it's cool because they don't live very long. But I will adopt them, and I'll rescue them. And they'll live a few days longer with me. And I'm not doing it because I want a designer dog. Yeah.

And she hasn't said like, oh, I'm getting them from, you know, like evil puppy mills that have been shut down. And now they have all these leftover dogs and they're going to put them on. It's nothing like that. She's literally saying, oh, I'm going to get these little designer dogs because the poor things need love because they die young. So just get a damn designer dog, Karen. It's better to just do it and not apologize than all this bullshit. But it is very Karen.

I didn't even know about this thing about designer dogs that die young or whatever. I also don't know, by the way, I don't know if that requires an adoptive... I don't know. Does that require a cause? If an animal's lifespan... Some animals have longer lifespans than others. So if you have an animal that's shorter, it's not like...

that animal is it's not like the animal's subjected to cruelty it just has a shorter lifespan right am i wrong am i just now totally heartless but i'd love a storyline well good luck with your adopted child personally i'm adopting ladybugs because they really only live a couple of days i know that's what i'm saying it's like they need me more

Oh, so you have a tortoise. That's nice. Enjoy that one for 35 years. Unfortunately, hamsters live under the cruelty of being only two years old when they die. So I'm going to adopt some. Where's my peace prize? I'm like, is that like a charity worthy cause? Like, it's like, I don't think they're being abused or anything. It's just, I don't know. But I could be wrong. Listen, I don't want to, I do not want to offend anyone.

animal activist listeners, I'm just saying to me, it strikes me as like, oh, so the dog can live a happy life. It just will die before other dogs. But it's like, well, you know, before Stacy came up with this charity, I was like, oh, God, here's where Karen's going to say that somebody stole from her, you know, because this is Karen's line every season. Oh, candles. I told Wendy about candles, which is why she came out with the candle in the first place. Mine may have come to market later, but my idea was first. Yeah.

And so I thought it was going to be one of those things. But she says, before Stacey came up with this charity, you know, to adopt dogs, my desire to adopt dogs that are bred and should not be bred.

So what does that mean? I mean, I have a pit bull Chihuahua. They shouldn't be bred. Okay. That was an accident. That was a tiny little Chihuahua. No one thought he was going to do anything. And he climbed on top of a giant pit bull and a miracle was born. And his name is Bueller Tivis Karam. Okay. Do I win a Nobel Peace Prize for adopting that little fucker? Of course you do. Well, I think that actually what Karen is talking about here is that she wants to adopt dogs.

that are actually loaves of bread. She's like, "I want to adopt dogs that are bread and should not have been bread." - "It lasts longer than a week. It deserves some love." That's why I always eat so much bread. - "I'm sick of people throwing out this bread because they left it on the counter for too long. I'm taking that dog shaped loaf of bread and I'm putting it in the freezer and treating it respectfully."

And then she's like patting herself on the back and just like nodding. And she's like, oh, I just have so much love to give, Ray. So anyway, he's like, you could give me some love, you know, like, hello, I'm right here. She's like, don't be disgusting, Ray. Pick your balls up off the ground, by the way. I just had this

room vacuumed. All right. Now, you know, dogs have these dogs have a lifespan that's very, very short, but hopefully they'll live much longer because I'm caring for them. Now I have to get behind Stacy. Hurry up. She's doing a good thing. I just can't wait to support Stacy by rolling my eyes at her, calling her a bitch and not doing shit in her show, except throwing up all over the place. All right, come on, Ray. And so he's like, are you going to walk in the show? She's like, no,

No, but I'm going to support her. And she goes, why would I support Stacey when Stacey wouldn't be fair and neutral with Mia and I? So we see a flashback to last week at the Drag King show with Karen and Mia arguing. And Karen's like, with my court case coming up, I am definitely stressed. You know, I don't need to be going down this road of my friend breaking my heart and disrespecting me at a Drag King show. I don't need any more pain, much like a...

A dog that shouldn't have been bred but was bred anyway and placed in a home without the love of Karen Hugo. Don't need that pain! What she did to me caused me more pain than a French bulldog with a golden retriever tail. It was so painful, I can't take it, Ray! And then, um...

Wendy FaceTimes. Wendy's one of those people who FaceTimes you, but then she makes you... Was she FaceTiming her? Thank you for bringing this up, because I noticed this. I think Wendy just called, but Karen, put the phone on...

on like a tripod, put it on speaker, and it was talking to it as if she were on FaceTime. But I don't think there was any indication that FaceTime was on. I think it was just a speakerphone call. She was like, hmm, I'm going to pose. Here's my angle, my angle. I'm like, Karen, it's not on FaceTime. And Karen's just the kind of diva to always have her phone on this pedestal. It's not even like a regular thing. It's like a full-on mount with a light and all of this stuff. And it's like ringing. It's like, hold on, Ray. Wendy's calling.

Hello, Wendy. It's like everything is an interview with 2020 with this woman. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crap-N's commercial. Well, the holidays have come and gone. And let me tell you something. It feels nice to give my home a little TLC after all that chaos and hubbub of December. No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture. Yeah.

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So they're talking and Wendy's like, well, I'm giving you a call because we're about to strip for the strays, honey. She's like, oh, yeah. So who's strutting for the strays? And she goes, well, you know, OK, sidebar. So you know that I'm starting season two of the Dr. Wendy's show, right? Yes, of course. I definitely knew that. I was definitely paying attention. I am definitely a subscriber to your show on the tubes of views. Yes.

Well, it was really amazing, Karen, getting the chance to do a season two. I mean, we didn't know if they were going to pick us up, but we've been picked up. It's YouTube. Okay. Let's stop the confetti. Stop the confetti.

So Karen, so she's going to get to go to the White House. Now, I also was watching Married to Medicine, you know, which I love laughing at that show. And they also went to the White House. It's a big this the Biden administration was like, listen, guys, we're flagging. OK, some things are falling. I just need last ditch effort. Just call all the housewives and just have them come to the house. Just come up, have them come to the White House for sure. Surely the White House or the housewives audience will save us.

who was on for the marriage medicine episode who was on remember last season Kamala was on marriage medicine she was again

She was really. Yeah. Kamala is like, we're going to get it going this time. She she had something about women health care or something at the. Oh, it was about the Roe versus Wade because of the decision to overturn Roe versus Wade. And they were having a talk there. So they invited Jackie to come watch it. And she brought Simone and Heavenly in.

And she scared Heavenly because she was like, now you know I only get to bring one person. So, of course, I called Simone. And Heavenly's like, you brought me over here to tell me you were taking Simone on the way? She's like, you can come too. Surprise! So they all went to the White House. It's very touching. Yeah, I can only imagine Heavenly at the White House. Yeah, mama. Yeah.

I pledge allegiance to the daddy of the United Daddies of America. But yeah, I was cute. Okay, so anyway. That's the only thing I want to show this season. I'm failing as a Bravo content creator, but also they're failing as...

I feel like being the same thing. It's your fault. I'm not watching you. They're actually doing a good. It's a pretty good season. I'm laughing a lot. They're so shady, too. They're bringing back this episode. They went on the couple's trip. And Phaedra, of course, is single. So she brought some fucking rent-a-date or some guy that she met on that speed dating thing who's hot as hell. So she brought him. But meanwhile, they've invited Apollo to come.

And Heavenly's like, well, I think we should invite Apollo because Apollo and Phaedra are just doing so great at being divorced. You know, they're so positive with each other. So we could learn some lessons from them. So I think we should invite... I mean, they're just so full of shit. That's so messy. It all goes to shit next week. I can't wait. All right. Well...

Now that the crappies are over, I can do things like I can catch up on Married to Medicine and Love Island All Stars. So I have my homework set out for me and I will do it. In the meantime, Wendy's going to the White House to shoot a show. So she says, I am just through the moon. I'm so excited. I always appreciate your support. So I was wondering if you're free and if you would like to come with me to the White House. And Karen's like, oh.

Oh, yes. Oh, my goodness. Yes. You know, I think Wendy and I have more in common than most people would think. I mean, I invited Wendy to the courthouse when I was sworn in as the ambassador to Surrey County. I'm like, yes, yes, exactly. The Surrey County Courthouse, the White House, they're basically...

Yeah. It's like when you go into like a half Pizza Hut, half Taco Bell. You're just it's like you're basically you're in the same building, you know, half Baskin Robbins, half Dunkin Donuts, two different establishments, same roof. So I totally get it. Yeah. Karen's like, well, of course she invited me. She owes me after that huge Surrey County incident. So, you know what? I'm packing up a gift for Kamala and I can't wait to give it to her.

Wi-Fi. I can't believe I'm the one to bring Wi-Fi to the White House. That was her big thing with Surrey County. She brought Wi-Fi to the courthouse. Wait until they see Pornhub. It's going to go so fast. No more clicking on pictures and waiting for 20 minutes for them to load. They're going to have so much pain at the White House. You're welcome, Biden. You're welcome.

So she's very excited. Now we go with Stacy and her friend, AJ. I love AJ and I don't know why we hit him all the way to the end of the season. AJ was so funny. His like blatant disdain for TJ in this scene is just hilarious. He is great. And I hope that we get more of him next season.

Yeah, and he should be a housewife. And he could be a housewife, too. He's the best casting in Housewives this year, I think, on this show, at least. I mean, Stacey's pretty good. But I say get rid of the other newbies that they brought on and just bring on AJ because he's amazing.

And he talks like this, which I like too. So she's like, can I be honest? Some of my best memories are me and you in Chicago. We just had such good times, you know, and strut for strays is important, blah, blah, blah. So she tells us how she knows AJ and she was a model in Chicago and, you know, she did a lot of hot dog ads and,

Whatever else you do when you're a model in Chicago. I know. Portillo's. So Stacy is like, do you like little green things on your hot dogs? Come to Portillo's. My daughter Arabella will be there. So Stacy's like. You know, Thin Quest wasn't really even a thing until I was a model for it. Hey, if you're gay and you're a bear, guess what? Two for one at the Cubs today. Come on down.

So Stacey is, she goes, well, AJ, a lot has changed since we were hanging out in the Chi. And he's like, oh yeah, yeah. I mean, you change. I see you on Instagram. And she's like, have I changed for the better though? He's like, well, you, I mean, you're definitely like beautiful, but you're also very prim and proper. And you know, like you just like hang out with women here. So like you don't hang out that you don't hang out with. Like you just don't, you don't go out on, you don't, you hang out with no other guy except for your friend. He says a lot of stuff very quickly, which I,

Admittedly, seeing it now all in text, it doesn't totally all make sense. But he sells it in a way where I'm like, totally, I totally agree. Well, I like that he's just calling her out. You know, he's like, oh, yeah, well, now you're doing this whole prim and proper dog and pony show. It's just fucking ridiculous, which I liked. And he's like, and now you're just hanging out with some dude. And she's like, he's my best friend. She goes, oh, yeah, your best friend. Okay, okay.

And she's like, I can't wait for you to meet him. And he just goes, yeah, I can wait. I can wait. So I love that this guy smells bullshit from a mile away. He's like, you're not really this character you're pretending to be. And this guy you're dating is gay. So please just stop with the theatrics. Let's just let's just call it out right now.

And, you know, AJ is definitely like, hello, it's in my name. I am like, I am the AJ. He is the TJ. A comes before T. So he definitely does not like this threat to like the dash J sidekick priority list. So Stacey's like, well, it feels like you just don't want me to have a best friend. He goes, no, no, you got to be. Look, look, you've been locked down for very long. You got to be, you got to live. You got to get out there.

And she's like, but we go to church together. We work out together. He's like, praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Okay, that's good. You go to church. Great. So he's not wealthy or is he the one holding the plate that's being passed around? Because I have a feeling. And she's like, oh my God, no. I mean, come on. I just don't know what you're talking about. He's an actor. He doesn't need money. And he's like, oh my God.

God, what? Why are you dating an actor? Are you fucking kidding? I mean, he's cute. He works out. But Jesus Christ, I mean, God, you were married for 16 years. Get laid. Please jump on some dick. Honestly, I think there's no other phrase that will horrify a friend and a family member more when describing your new boyfriend than he's an actor. You could say, well...

Well, Podcaster's a good one. Have you tried that one? Because that one's pretty good. I still think Actor may be the worst because...

Bloggers, you sort of know we're bloggers and podcasters, Sam, but actors actually try to, you know, you got TJ, you wind up with TJs and like, you could say, oh yeah, my new boyfriend, he, um, yeah, he, he has some substance abuse issues and he's cheated on, uh, his, all of his ex-girlfriends. I was like, but is he an actor? No. Okay. Well, I'm sure he will be on the up and ups and up if you say he's an actor. It's like, yeah, at least you can heal from heroin. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Acting never leaves you. So he's horrified and she's like, "Well, listen, I'm not jumping on any dicks because we're not intimate." And he's like, "Oh God, Jesus, you? You're not intimate? This is really weird now." She's like, "I don't need to have sex to feel fulfilled." And she's like, "Oh God, just jump off a cliff. I mean, this is ridiculous. You've been brainwashed. What are you? This is like, get out. The Stepford Wives or some shit. Come on now." - And so of course, TJ right on cue

you know, because he can sense, he can sense that he's being talked about or he senses that there's cameras, cameras there. So he's sure to get on. Well, because the producers probably said, Hey TJ, you should call in right now. Stacey is filming. So he's like, uh, Hey, hi, I'm calling for Tracy Ruski. I mean, Tracy Rusk. I mean, Tracy is a Tracy or is a Stacey's a Rusk. He's doing like a whole bit where he can't remember her name. And she's like, Oh my God.

my God. TJ, what is wrong with you? AJ's here. Say hi to AJ. And AJ's like, what's up, TJ? He like

He like messes up TJ's name. I think it was by accident. I did not think it was shady. And TJ goes, oh, you're getting my name wrong? Are you really getting my name wrong? And he was like, TJ is clearly upset. I'm like, excuse me, do you not realize you opened up this entire conversation with a bit about getting Stacy's name wrong? I think you revoke your, whatever. You can't say it. You can't do this. You can't be mad right now.

It's like, no, I said TJ. He's like, no, you got my name wrong. Come on, man. And it's like, um, you know what? I'm going to call you when I'm in the car because this man will eat you alive. So we'll talk next week. Bye. And he's like, oh, my God, he's a lie. I can't. You know, what was that? May I character? This can't be real. What does that even mean? He was so animated. I mean, I'm animated, but he was really animated. Yes, nobody is real. OK, you cannot. This is not your type. Come on now. Come on, Stacey.

And she's like, he's my best friend. That's enough for me. Why isn't he my type? He's like, he's a cornball, Stacey, for fuck's sake. I mean, is he serious? Come on. He's not the one. Okay? You need help here. He's very right. I mean, the best part for me about TJ is how, like, morning show he is. Like, morning show, hey, good morning. It's Stacey and TJ in the morning. And, like, the moment he gets annoyed, how, like, that whole facade drops. And he's just, like, his inner asshole just comes...

like pouring out like that's my favorite when we see that in someone because then we know our instincts are correct and we just see it right here in the scene where he's like oh you messed up my name he's like i'm an actor you should know my name you should know that i am tj girl nobody knows your name tj and they uh it's like he's like the opposite of cheers tj where you go when nobody needs to remember your name you know

So now we go to Ashley's and the kids are on the kitchen island. Where else would they be? Yeah. Where else? So then the whole family comes over. Sheila, Aunt Monica, Uncle Lump, the whole gang, you know. That's so boring because I was about to say, you know, it's nice on this show when we get to see real people who aren't just cast members, you know, like AJ who come in because they're

The Stacy can kind of fake it enough to where we're like, well, maybe she does really like TJ. Maybe she is really this personality. So to see somebody come in, who's just like, shut the fuck up. You don't act prim and proper. And you're not really dating this cheese ball, gay guy, like get over it. Come on. And, uh, this, uh,

is all proven wrong that real people are all a breath of fresh air when we get to Ashley's house. It's just like more, more fake Ashley bullshit. But she does talk about how she did decide to file publicly against Michael or do whatever because he wasn't bending to her will. And so now it's going a little bit more easily in that divorce. And then they talk a little bit about Josh and,

you know, this is a boring scene. Can we skip it? Yeah, Josh. Yeah, basically, it just ultimately culminates in her saying everything's going forward and she actually starts to sing her song and everyone in the family just looks at her like, oh God, she's doing it again. Even her mom is like, okay, okay. But anyway, yeah, that's pretty much it. Their reaction to her singing career is AJ's reaction to Stacey singing. Like, just drop the bullshit. I know.

By the way, I have to say, Uncle Lump and Monica, I think they're a hot couple. And I feel like we need to give them credit for being a hot couple. Do you think they're a hot couple? I think Monica is super hot. I think that Lump is oddly very hot. And I just feel like Lump and Monica, they have been in the sidelines for years. And I just want to put the spotlight on them and say, good for you for being a hot couple.

You're not feeling it. That's okay. I feel it. I mean, I'm not a hater really of uncle, you know, like uncle loves nice and everything. They seem fine. They're just this whole, Ashley's so boring at home. I don't need Ashley. I don't need any more Ashley at home scenes. You know what I mean? I'm bored. And here's another one I don't need. Giselle and her children.

Just like there's a lot of stuff that just bores me on this show. These are those. And this is actually my scene with Giselle where it's like, oh, you know, my dad passed away. We know, you know, all this stuff. And so now they're going to plant a tree for the dad. And it's all really nice. But that's not why I'm here. You know what I mean? It's like going to a bakery and someone's like, oh, let's talk about salami. I'm like, no, I'm fucking here for a bagel. That's not what I want. Get it out. Can I just say something?

This Christmas tree, this is a hot Christmas tree. And I just want to shed some light on the fact that this Christmas tree. This is the Uncle Lump of Christmas trees. Okay. So, yeah. So then we go to Wendy's house and they're going to the White House. Dun, dun, dun. So she tells us. So she meets Kareem, right? And Kareem Jean-Pierre.

And they go see things in the White House and stuff. And then Wendy is talking about how she said that she wanted on a clip of her show that she wanted to be at the White House. And now she's here. She's like manifesting. Yep. And she meets all sorts of people. She meets Gabriela Garcia Ugalde, the deputy director of broadcast and consumer media. And then Karen shows up.

And Wendy's like, well, Karen has always been a friend to me, except for season one. You may have forgotten, but that's okay. So I wanted to return the favor and invite Karen because at this point, I'm not going to be at the White House after January. This is it for me. My goodness. She's like, let's get this in now because it'll be at least four years before I even come close to this building.

Yeah. So Wendy's like, okay, is that my camera? Okay. And also Wendy's outfit, she's wearing a bright yellow suit, which I really like, but then she's wearing a gigantic poof on the suit. I'm not really sure what's happening there. Maybe in case she needs to like touch up her makeup, she could just kind of hide behind her shoulder and get some stuff done. It's like you have a bat in your cave. You're always corrected. You know, you're always able to correct it by just like covering your nose with your thing. I don't know. But anyway, she interviews Karine Jean-Pierre,

And she's like, so, Kareem, what kind of dick do you like? Let's get right down to it. No, just kidding. She's like, wow, you're in the White House. That's so great. And she's like, yeah, I am. That's so great, too. It's a nice scene. Kareem talks about being like the first black and queer person in her position. And it's actually a really cool thing. This is really cool for Dr. Wendy and her show that she gets to do this.

And, um, they did, they talk about it. It's a great scene. I don't, there's nothing like funny about it. They just talk about the white house and mentors and things like that. Good things, happy things. And Eddie, you know, it's nice that her Wendy's kids are there, you know, that, that they get to see it. And when, and Eddie says, um, that he's like really proud of Wendy and that she's really made a lot of strides in her career. And this is like a really big moment, you know?

- Yeah. Unfortunately they had to remove Karen because she was over there putting like makeup on a statue going, "I look amazing, don't I? And this is what I get for bringing wifi to Surrey County." - I just want to see the scene that they, of like, Kareen's aide when, you know, like, you know, like as she was like walking up to Karen Huger, she goes, "Oh my God, the Grand Dame." You know, you know, she was like, she probably turned to her aide and was like, "So who is this lady?" They call her the Grand Dame. The what? The Grand Dame.

Of what? Potomac. Potomac? Suburban town. Okay. She's like, I'll go with it. Whatever. They know exactly who Karen is at the White House. How dare you? How dare you? How dare you? I adopt designer dogs that need me.

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Hey, y'all. It's your girl, Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me. Well, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. We're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspective. And honey, it's going to change your life.

I sat down with astrology queen, Channing Nicholas. Y'all, if you want to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci, where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely going to hit different.

If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby. This is Kiki Palmer. Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New Year, New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby.

So now, speaking of dogs, it is finally time for Stacey's first trades event. And so she says hello to everyone. We meet the event planner and everything and all these people. They're at this lounge. And the party planner is like, don't forget, at the end, we're going to have a big confetti. Okay? This is going to be very exciting. Confetti only. Can't wait.

Yeah, she really does say that. And of course, I don't even pay attention to it because, you know, why would you? But now going through the notes, she totally says that. So Stacey's like, the day is here. We are strutting for strays. And TJ, unfortunately, is my favorite stray. Because she says strutting for strays. And then all of a sudden, we just cut to TJ literally strutting down the street. I was like, the ultimate stray, TJ. TJ. Okay.

And she's like, "Yeah, we're gonna host together. I just wanna introduce him to my friends and to my callings. What better way to do that by handing him a microphone?" So, you know, we're gonna find forever homes for these dogs and we're also gonna look gorgeous and we need to show some skin because who wouldn't want half naked guys when you're about to adopt a dog?

It's all very disjointed. But listen, I'm not going to complain about hot shirtless guys. Never. It's just kind of like a hodgepodge, you know. And look, this is I love any time they wedge in a hot shirtless guy on to a charity event on this show. Like you said, it doesn't really make sense, but we're always going to support it.

So TJ sees her new wig and he's like, whoa, I didn't even know who you were. New wig, who this? And she's like, you don't like it? And he's like, well, I would prefer, you know, I sent you that Caesar cut. She's like, honey, I just look too much like George Clooney. He's like, yeah, it's called the George Clooney wig. So I met him when I was doing under fives on ER many, many moons ago. And let me just tell you, he was, he was, he was a bro. He was a bro.

Until TJ burns his mesh shirt that he wore on Watch What Happens Live, he just has no right to critique anything that Stacey wears. That's what I say. And you can also see that TJ has a vision of how they should appear together to maintain the facade that he has in his life. And when she veers from it, you see him kind of like losing his shit internally. He's like, okay.

Okay, so you look. All right. We didn't talk about this. You didn't tell me you're wearing a new wig. And we're supposed to be the Stacey and TJ show. We're going to be doing photos together. Okay, thanks a lot. Thanks. So then she introduces him to AJ. And AJ's like, what up? And he's like, oh, yeah, I heard a lot about you. So look, let me just say this.

We got to be on the same team, right? He's like, so we're on the same team. So congratulations. I mean, can someone bring this man flowers? He just came out of the closet. He's like, no, no, no. I don't need that kind of team. I just mean we're on Stacy's team, right? We have a common enemy. That's anybody who's against her. So get on my team. I can't have anybody against me and we can't have anybody against you. Got it.

Because Stacey obviously told him this guy doesn't approve. So TJ is trying to be some big man and get him in line. Oh, no, that's not how you treat the gay friend. You are ruined, sir. Yeah, done. That was a rude. You need the gay friend on your side. You don't call the shots in this situation, TJ.

But AJ, I think that AJ just doesn't even have the time or care about TJ. So he's like, okay, sure, whatever. I don't care about you. We don't need to do our work to your face, sir. The gay works...

behind your back when in every conversation with the girl okay yes he's not gonna get his revenge now he will get it silently with stacy stupid yeah so then tj is like um can i get a word with you over here stacy's like sure he's like why are you looking scared because i mean are you okay you seem a little amped up are you okay and he's like well because i came into this blind so i didn't know what it was and i haven't seen you it's my first time seeing you and your hair is different

So fucking creepy, this guy. And she's like, well, how do you feel about it now that we've done a run through? And he's like, listen, listen, I'm just saying it's everything all at once. You know, I'm catching up. I don't want to catch up with my co-host, you know, and I want to connect with you. You know, I'm just really proud of you and what you've accomplished.

Oh, really? Because you're coming off like an aggro controlling fucking weirdo abuser. Weirdo. So he's like, so I want this to be a fantastic event. Not for you, but for both of us. And I just want to remember, I just want you to remember you're a host and I'm a host and an actor. So get some fucking respect and call me next time you're going to change your wig. Okay.

So then Vivian, don't forget everyone here is wearing, anyone who's walking the runway, the one way, is wearing Vivian's designs. It's like Anya by Vivian. So Vivian is here. I wish it was Anya by Vivian. Oh my goodness. That would be a dream. This one's called the, I don't know when you're sad, when I'm sad, when they're sad. This one is the Orinoco flow. No.

This is, here comes Giselle walking in the, saw her music. Like the big toms. So the ladies are, she's talking to Vivian and she's like, oh yeah, Karen's not going to walk. And she goes, oh, are you guys beefing or something? Like, I don't know about this. Cause you know, Karen's already called Vivian and said, just a reminder, I brought you on this show, Vivian. Hmm. Hmm.

If I were Vivian, I'd be pissed. It's like, you're supposed to be my friend and you may have a beef with Stacey, but this is a way to promote my clothing. So get up there on that runway, bitch. So then AJ is like, by the way, one thing I can say at least is that she is coming into the building. So whatever you did, she can't be that mad at you because she's going to attend. And Vivian's like, well, no, she's coming to support the cause and not supporting Stacey. He's like, well, that's her event.

So anyway, Stacy's like, she's also coming because it's a season finale shoot and she's not going to miss it just because she doesn't like somebody. But, you know, don't give Karen too much credit here. Yeah. Reunion's okay to miss. Not season finale shots. Well, yeah, they're all confronting her at the reunion. She's not going to show up to that.

Definitely not. So Karen shows up and she's like, let us be very clear. That's like one of her taglines. Let me be very clear. I never said that I would not support Stacey. Stacey has a great cause. She's trying to do a good thing. But yeah, I still feel a certain way. And damn Skippy, I do. You don't forget about that shit. That's hard to forget.

Hi, Karen, can we talk? So they go have a talk and she's like, you look so stunning in red. I just didn't know what to expect. So I just want to understand why we have a problem because I was a little shocked by your text. And we see the text is like, congratulations. I regret not being able to attend your party.

your event due to your comments slash actions at Ashley's last event. And I will be telling my purebred Pekingese the same thing while it's here on this earth. It should not waste friend time with half-assed friends. You're welcome. Any donations, please send to karenscandlesforfirst at gmail.com. We use those candles when we mourn those dogs that have died too soon.

My Pekingese was just five wicks of a candle in the wind. My Bulldog Dalmatian, gone too soon.

So Karen's like, by the way, that would be a really interesting mix that I kind of would want to see. So Karen says, okay, let's start at the beginning. Okay. I want to preface with this. I have no problem with you getting to know all the girls. I only have a problem with you getting to know all the other girls. Now, remember I said that when you came into the room, like now I've said, I said that now having, having said that the

Because remember, I said that. Now, having said that, now I did say that. Okay, here's what I'm saying. This is what I want to say to you right now, having said that. You know that Mia went in on my character, and I don't get what Mia says. I care what my friend Stacey does or does not do. And so everybody else is watching them, and they're like, oh my god, look at Stacey over there. Wow, she's fighting. Yeah.

And so then Karen was like, well, this woman has said heinous things about me, absolutely heinous things. And Stacey's like, well, Mia called you a drunk and she said you were a cheater. And like Norman, I stood up for you. I said, you know what? No, she's not drunk and I will not stand it. Nor is she a cheater. I will not do it. She's like, well, I haven't seen that with my own eyes. So I would like to see that. Roll the tape. No tape. Sorry, Stacey. You're a liar.

And she's like, you know, and Zazie's like, Karen Huger. She's like, no, excuse me. I let you talk for 13 seconds. May I talk, please? Okay. Etiquette 201. Zip it. Now, you act like I have known your ass forever. I'm getting to know you and your backstabbing tendencies are your personality. And that's the impression you're leaving with me.

And this is what we always get down to, isn't it? And we're seeing it on Salt Lake City now. And we see it on, well, we're seeing it double with Bronwyn and with Brittany on Salt Lake City, where they bring these people in as their friends. And then they're like, oh, we've known each other for years. I just love Stacy, one of my besties of all time. What a natural friendship. And then the first time they have a fight, it's like, I barely know you, bitch. So you...

So listen here, you better get your shit in line. I gave you a job. I got you a job. And it's pretty funny. And Stacey does not give a shit. I thought Stacey was going to stick with her kind of newish personality where she's like, Karen, I'm so sorry. But instead she's like, no.

Yeah, Stacey's great here. This was a big, I think this is a great scene for Stacey. So then in the confessional, Karen brings out some sort of doll that reminded me quite a bit of your Tonta doll that you brought to the Houston show. Did you think of Tonta at this moment? This was terrifying. This was like a straight up witch doll. This was the Bethany doll from the Halloween store when...

when Dorinda had Halloween in the Berkshires and there was that like witch doll, like biting its fists and Ramona goes, whoa, that looks like Bethany. - Yeah, so Karen's like, I want to introduce you all to Stacy. This is what I saw, Stacy. This is what I saw, Stacy, when you were yelling at me. This is how you look with your blonde hair. This is an embarrassment. I brought your ass out of the group. Now I'm gonna kick your ass right out. And then she kicks the doll over. I was like, they did a lot of effort

There's a lot of prop work for one little confessional there. - Karen, that's Karen. She's the carrot top of the show. She brings so many props at all times. Also just so much is going wrong here. First of all, Stacey was not yelling at you. And second of all, that whole, but I can kick your ass right out. Oh, hell no. This lady is gonna be staying for five years at least. And if anybody's in danger of getting kicked out, it's you. Karen is just going, listen, and it's not the first time this season, wrong road, wrong road, man.

Lady, you're going to jail. Okay. So Stacey is, um, Stacey's like, well, you attacked Mia and you attacked her as a mother and I have an affinity for her and you don't like it. Oh,

"Oh, bravo, Academy Award actress." You know, TJ is like, "And co-star, TJ." - Yeah. I like when she says, "I'm not an actress." Like one of the only times you'll ever hear that from a housewife, you know? 'Cause everybody wants to break in. She's like, "No, how dare you? I talk people into buying jewelry."

for 10 times the Alibaba price. Thank you, Karen. Thank you very much. And she's like, I've stood up for you. And if you have a problem with me, Karen went from being my fairy godmother to the Wicked Witch in record time. TJ's like, oh my God, where is she? The Wicked Witch is here? Can I get a picture? It's not a rainbow, okay? Sit down, TJ. Jesus Christ.

Put your Alphaba lunchbox away, okay? Stacey's like, yeah, I've stood up for you. Do you have a problem with me? Well, I was the one that carried in your raggedy ass. And she goes, well, can you please not put your fingers in my face and raggedy? And she sort of like gestures at herself like, not at all, honey. And Cameron goes, well, I wasn't talking about your face. I was talking about how you dress. And like this, Stacey goes, well, this is Vivian's outfit. Are you talking about Vivian? Yeah.

I'm talking about how ugly you are on most things. That's horrible. They're just horrible. And Stacey goes, just really classy. I mean, Karen is unraveling here and she doesn't know what it's like to fight with someone so classy because Stacey is just like, I look horrible. Like my clothes are ugly. Really? That's where you're coming. She's like, you're super classy. Yeah.

Yeah. And then Stacey goes in for the kill shot because Karen, because now Karen needs to stall. So she goes, no, let me sip my, my drink. And she goes, oh, really? What are you sipping, Karen? Karen goes, hot liquor. So she's like, you hinted towards my accusations. Well, what about the accusations you yourself have? Hold on a second. I need to get my teeth back in place.

I've never even brought up the accusations about you. Never even brought them up. And she's like, well, I've never been to court in my life, Karen. What are you talking about? She goes, oh, really? Really? Well, you're Jesus walking on water right now, aren't you?

Well, it's better than Jesus driving across the water and over a median, Karen. So she's like, I am not Jesus. So the producer asks Karen, like, what are the charges? If I was Jesus, I wouldn't be walking on water. I'd be walking on the bottom of a riverbed because the river was filled with absolute and you just drank it all, Karen. I did. It was a good river. So Karen's like...

So they're like, what are these allegations? And Karen tells the producers, what have I heard? Driving to the same stop sign three times. That's right. Same stop sign, three different occasions, bike ups, that winter court. But you're going to talk about me? I don't think so. Oh, really? Drunk driving? What about triple stop sign running? Got you. Prison.

Hilarious. What an idiot. What an idiotic argument. And I love that Karen, I love that Karen investigated her and that's what she came up with. Like you really do. You pay someone to do a deep dive on someone and they're like, well, she ran a stop sign.

Did she? Three times. Which one? Were they different ones? I can't bring that on television. No, the same one. The same stop sign three times? Let's get her, boys. This is what you call a bulletproof case. Also, fuck the cop. You know, fuck the cop that did that. Because you know that there's one cop sitting at that lame stop sign. And you know it's a street that they're like 20 miles an hour for no reason. And you feel like you're tiptoeing. And then she got pulled over for not doing the like.

doing the stop and roll or whatever where you stop and then kind of keep rolling through yeah yeah I think it's both first of all I don't even think it happened but second of all if it did happen I think this is bullshit not say I mean look going to a stop sign is actually quite dangerous like that's how accidents happen that is how I mean I mean when you just you don't really go I know when you stop but you know you're supposed to stop and wait till your car completely like kind of yeah a little bit and then you go people that stop like that like keep it moving we've all got a life to live

Yeah, it's like, or if you're going to do the full stop, do the full stop, but then like get going right away. Don't do the full stop. Left, right, wait, left again, right again, left again. It's like, just come on, let's come on. You stop. We got it. As someone famously said, I totally paused and that's how it should be at a stop sign. Just make sure everyone's doing what they should be and proceed. Anyway, the point is triple stop sign infraction. So,

Karen says, I haven't given up on us, but you are in a time out. You have been demoted. You are an associate. You are not a friend. Then Giselle shows up and she interrupts and Giselle is wearing this big flouncy, tuli kind of crazy dress. It's like, what is happening with Giselle right now?

And so Giselle's like, well, we were doing the dress fitting and Wendy said, I want that dress. And Stacey said, no, no one can wear that dress. So I went back and I bought the dress. And she starts cackling like it's the funniest thing ever. You paid for that dress. Well, you spent money for revenge. It's never really a revenge that you win when you had to spend money on it.

Yeah, and now you look like Jen Affleck from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Those big, you know, roughly sleeves and everything. The joke's on you in this one. Yeah. So, Stacey's like, here comes Giselle looking like Big Bird. And meanwhile, Mia is, you know, Kierna comes, which is super exciting, you guys. This is a great Kierna. Just replace Kierna with AJ at this point. So, Kierna's like, okay, guys. Okay, guys. Listen up.

Me and Greg are in an interesting space right now. Kierna, you have never been in an interesting space with Greg. This is a terrible choice of words. I think interesting space is just not a concept that like is connected to Kierna. So she goes, well, yeah, like cohabiting is like really bright out signs that are like not the best. I was like, yeah, you don't, you don't say. So what's the latest with the love affair with the

social worker that has broken the internet and she goes, well, right now I feel like Greg and I just like need some personal space. And like, every since our fight, like we cannot get back on the horse and like, we're at a place where we can't agree. We can't even agree to disagree. And so I think I'm like, okay, so you guys are just living in different places. Great. Congratulations. No one cares. Okay. I am glad that she, she learned cohabitating because you know how sometimes housewives will mess up words and then they become real words in your head.

I mean, I can't think of any specific, specific. OK, now I'm going to I'm going to pass that one off to people. I can't think of any specific examples at the moment, but it happens to me all the time. And I've been I actually found myself the other day.

Yeah, you know, I think they're cohabitating. And my friend was like, that's not a word. It's cohabitating. But it's what Kierna said last time. She's like, if we're going to be ready to be cohabitating and got stuck, got stuck in my fucking head. And I think it's a real word now. No, if they're going to be living in a tundra and a deciduous forest, they have to make some certain considerations. Yeah.

She's like, we're really trying to terraform the house so that we're in the proper space to be together. So, yeah, so that's that's the big button on her tremendous storyline there. So now Ashley and Josh arrive and say hi to everyone. And then Ashley's like, oh, my God, did you see Stacy's neck?

I think I'm assuming, did that mean that like maybe her neck makeup was not blended properly or something? No, no, because I think they're saying, I think they're making fun of her because Ashley's like, oh my God, look at her finger going. Look at her finger going. Cause she's actually fighting with Karen. I think they're just like proud of her. Oh, got it. That's what I thought she meant. Yeah. I think that's probably right.

Or maybe you're right, because then the next line is Ashley saying, well, Stacey sure missed the mark on this outfit. I mean, that wig, that's a no-go. It's giving Annie. It's a hard no for me. And this is when I was like, okay, roll the clip of Ashley with her wig from last season that is still circulating on the internet. Which wig was that again? She wore like a, I think it was like a black curly wig that everybody was like, oh, no, Ashley, no. No, Ashley, please. So then we see...

Mia says, by the way, Mia says, oh my God, she's giving Whitney Houston. I mean, last time I checked, Ashley was the one who walked into this party with the sparkly hood on like queen of the night, right? Am I missing something here? Well,

Well, I think Whitney Houston's a good one to give, right? Yeah, by the way, that's not an insult. Yeah. So then we see, you know, we see scenes from the event and everybody's kind of meeting up with each other. And then we go back to Karen and she's like, oh, associate. And she's like, okay, well, I guess I'm being demoted. Well, I'm okay with that if that's what you want to call it. She's like, well, I believe you cut me out because the queen does not get cut out. She's like...

I didn't cut you out. What are you talking about? You cut yourself out. She goes, oh, Stacey. Oh, Stacey. And now she's like, oh, my God, she's finger pointing. She's got the finger going. She's finally a real housewife. So then Stacey's like, whatever. So now she's like, Stacey's organizing everyone. They're going to go backstage, get ready and everything. And so now Stacey's with TJ backstage. And she's like, OK, I'm going to go get people dressed and I'll be right back. He's like, oh, OK, well, I'll just I'll

I guess I'll just wait here. I'm going to wait at the bus stop. Okay, fine. He like punches over. Like, I can't believe she's not paying attention to me anymore. And he's really mugging for the cameras. He's like, look at me all alone. And then they kept keep cutting to him going. Yeah. He's painful. He's fucking painful to watch.

So then Ashley goes up to Giselle and she's like, so guess what? Stacy came to my house the other day and told me that she had lunch with Karen prior to actually meeting with the rest of the group at the beginning of the season. And then, um, at that lunch, Karen was like, these are the people that you should and shouldn't be friends with. And Karen told Stacy that she should avoid Wendy like the plague. And, uh,

avoid her at all costs and that Stacey should not get close to her. So basically, she's like, OK, let me let me get this going. Let's let's let's get the real fun started. And then we see what she actually said, which was Karen and I met for lunch and she said Wendy is self-absorbed and she's not a girl, girl's girl and never to trust her. So then Giselle's like, yeah, you know, look, I've even told Wendy that Karen trashes her, but Wendy doesn't believe her.

because it was coming from me. But also Wendy needs allies. So she's just going to take what she can get at this point. Wendy is just like, just keep giving me a platform to sell my YouTube show. Okay. I'll put up with Karen shit this year.

So Ash is like, well, I think it's worth asking Karen about it. Oh, yeah, I guess it is. You know, it'd be really fun. No, we should do. We should get the bottom of this. Let's confront Karen and make her catch her off guard. So they're like, OK, yeah, I mean, basically that translates into it's a season finale. Literally nothing has happened this season and we have no ending. So let's start a fight. Yeah.

So they go to Karen and now she's like, um, yeah. So like the other day, like Stacy and I had like a really good talk and there was just like one thing that I found like a little surprising. And I guess you had a luncheon with her and like, I guess prior to her coming into the group, like she said, there was a list of people that like you, you said that she shouldn't really get close to. And Karen does that whole, like, um, she does her sock puppet thing where she goes, or she looks left and right with her mouth, like her upper lip hanging over her bottom lip. Like,

No, no, I don't know that. No, no, no, no, no. I have no recollection of that.

Yeah, well, you know, you said you felt that Wendy was not genuine in her friendships and her relationships. And Karen goes, does that even sound like me? And they just all look at her like, yes, of course it does. And Giselle's like, yeah, anytime there's a new person, Karen takes them to lunch. She tries to trick them and get them on her side and go against the other ladies, you know, which is true. We see her do it all the time.

So Giselle goes, well, did you guys meet at all? Did you meet up with her at all before the show? She goes, well, I mean, we had dinner after we taped. And what? You know what? No, no, we didn't. We never met up before the show. Which got a love. She doesn't even try. She doesn't even try to, like, start with a lie. She'd like tells the truth first and then lies and then changes it and then lies again.

She's really amazing. So then Wendy and Eddie arrive and say hi to everyone. And Wendy's like, oh, you changed your hair, Stacey. And then guess what? Eddie brought some Happy Eddie products and everything. So then Giselle goes up to Stacey and says, well, by the way, Karen is saying that everything is

that you said that she said is not true. And Karen's like, it's not true. I would never do such a thing. She's like, well, that she told you not to be friends with Wendy, that Wendy's a snake, that Wendy's horrible. All those things. And Stacy's like, well, Karen made it very clear that Mia's not Potomac. And Karen goes, I did not. I did not. Well, I mean, is it true, though? Is it true? I never said it, but I did create a series of drawings that implied it.

You also said Wendy's not a girl's girl and that she's absorbed, self-absorbed and she'll never be my friend. She goes, I have never said that to you. Possibly I've said it, but maybe not to you. I don't really know. What are we talking about? Uh,

And she's like, yeah, well, you did. You did say it. And she goes, well, why didn't you bring it up before today? And Ashley said, well, she wanted to be loyal to Karen, but now, you know, she doesn't mean to anymore. And Stacey's like, I stand by what I said because it's the truth. And if you want to know how honest about I am about things, there's my extremely virile, completely real boyfriend over there, TJ, mugging for the cameras. Cut to TJ like, look at me waiting.

I'm waiting at the bus stop for my girlfriend. So Karen's like, I never said that about Wendy. And Stacey goes, I'm sorry, but you said it. You said what she said. You said it. And Karen goes, do you believe this shit, Wendy? And Wendy's like, okay, do I think that Karen said that? No. I know that Karen said that. I've done nothing but be a friend to her and support her. And I don't know if she's trying to taint the waters because maybe Karen feels like she's on the outs with more people in this group than I am. I don't know.

So now it's time to change. And, you know, she just basically Wendy basically says to Karen, you're going to get the side eye for a minute. Oh, Wendy, for a minute, though. Oh, oh, oh, oh, come on now. Come on. It's all a lie.

So then the guys are just like chatting. Eddie's talking to Darius about like getting married and stuff like that. And Darius is basically saying that the engagement's coming or whatever. So then we go back to the women and Karen goes up to one. He's like, oh, Lord Diana, sit down.

down and Wendy's like well since I like oh okay sure I'll do it because I'm so self-involved oh Wendy please I did not even say that and Karen's like Stacy said that I said that Wendy is self-absorbed and doesn't care about the girls and I did not say that

So Wendy tells me, she's like, oh, yeah. And she also said you were not Potomac, you know. And Stacey goes, oh, yeah. And she said it when we met at your favorite mom and pop shop restaurant in Potomac. And Ashley goes, wait a minute, Tally Ho's. What?

This proves everything. Tally-ho, not tally-ho. We see a flashback. I love that tally-ho came back and that it was like, this is the smoking gun. Giselle goes, you took Stacey to your spot. That makes me know. I believe everything Stacey's saying. I don't remember Mia ever being discussed at lunch. Never, never.

uh they're like you liar karen and then because karen is like the moment they say tally ho karen goes oh yes that's right i do remember yes yes yes okay yes no yes i definitely have her reversal as soon as talia was mentioned she knows she's got she knows she's got

caught by the tally-ho. And Mia's like, I'm sorry, I can't pay attention to this because my Instacart order is being delivered. I ordered a dog bed. I'm like, oh, geez. So she adopted a dog. You know her next storyline is going to be like, this was Ink's dog, but now we think it might be Gordon's.

Well, luckily, if Ink ever winds up on the wrong side of Mia, he can always spend the night on the dog bed, too. So then Mia's like, I don't know what to think about Karen anymore. Honestly, I got tired of every time I got with her. She tries to tear me apart. And, you know, mentally, emotionally, I just don't know what I just don't want to do that any longer. So she's done with you. You quiet down over there. I can get Wendy's side of it. But nothing Karen said about you is a lie.

And also, you're full of shit this entire season. So you don't get the whole... And also, you've been coming after Karen this whole season. Like, she is a drunk. She is disorderly. She cheats on her husband. So I think you deserve what you get. But I stand for Wendy in this one. Like, you could not clearly...

give me a history of Mia's relationships with the women in this group, because since she's just like a liar, like she's always mad at someone allied with someone, you know, there's some people are like, Oh my God, they were besties until they weren't besties. But like with Mia, she's just so all over the map. So when she says I'm done with Karen and like, it has no, it has no tangible impact on me because I can never track who she's friends with or not at the same. I think at this point they just tolerate me and they know she's a liar and they realize she has a role on this show and they just go with it. Yeah. Um,

I just got an Instacart notification. Isn't that crazy? I just said, did you get a dog bed? And I got a notification. Did you get a dog bed? Instacart is listening guys. Now I have plenty of dog beds. Don't you worry. I was thinking about doing an Instacart order for some broccolini.

and puff pastry. Oh, there you go. Okay. Fancy. But I didn't, I didn't. So, um, Wendy's like, Karen, I've woed for you. Okay. I've woed for you. And I've been a friend to you. And Karen's like, oh, I appreciate it. Wendy. What a wonderful friendship. Listen,

Whenever I can help my five wicks shine upon your three, I think it really benefits both of us, don't you? Don't you? And she's like, now, Karen, I need to know that if I'm going to be in the womb, I need and people are making fun of me. I need to be defended like I defend you when you are not in the room. And I can't speak for Karen because if she had my life, maybe she'd be self-absorbed, too.

And so she's like, I'm hurt, Karen. I'm hurt. But I'm telling you, it's not true. Here, let me take you out to pancakes at Tally Ho. I'll make it all right. She goes, no, I even know that could potentially, to even know that could even be in the ethos. Well, I don't know what ethos means, but I'm telling you right now.

Talio also has a wonderful French toast. Please, let me take her to breakfast. So Stacy says, well, I have held on to what you said about everybody for months, Karen. And Giselle says, not months, run it all. And Kierna says, well, this is a common thing you do when

have sanitary and everything and then i'm like okay you know thank you thank you for weighing in yes it just sounds like okay well she has things she needs to spill it well i said what i said okay and what i said is the truth and ashley's like well you know karen doesn't realize that if she says things they can bite her in the ass and this isn't the first time or the second time

And it's hilarious. Stacey's like, guys, I have a very important fashion show to go with. I need to go remind her that we're only doing confetti and certainly nothing that can make dogs projectile poop all over the place. I've got to go. So then Karen's like, well, I'm mad at Stacey. And they're like, oh, God, whatever. Karen totally lost this one, you know. So it's humiliation time for Karen. But thankfully, it's time to walk the strays.

So now...

She's like, before we start with the fashion and the philanthropists. And Giselle's like, philanthropist? This is why she got fired from Fox.

all right let's get this party started come on ashley ashley is walking tonight with boba a five-year-old poodle mix and then ashley comes in and then everyone's just kind of like the dogs are walking and everything we're seeing this there's some cute dogs oh my god there's so many cute dogs who could leave these cute dogs leave the ugly ones keep the cute ones i know these are very adorable dogs but i wasn't really paying attention to the fashion show i was like

When's the pooping going to start? What's going to cause the poop? Where's the poop? So they're all coming out. They're walking the dogs. It's all very nice. It's all being narrated. And Karen says, well, absolutely. I'm just not going to adopt one of these dogs. I'm going to rescue two. I'm already going to rescue two dogs. They're being genetically manufactured or produced, if you will, with a short lifespan expectancy. These are horrific designer dogs that people covet. And I've decided I also will take two of them to save them.

for three more days of their life. I'm going to do what God intended for them, which is give them happiness. So then the big finale is Stacy walking and TJ's like, Stacy, Stacy's a yogi. She's a mother. She's a TV host. She's a philanthropist. Let's give it up for Stacy. Okay, come on, ladies. So then for the big finale, they just, they

They don't even like put on a fog machine. Like, Ooh, look at Stacy coming out mysteriously through the fog. They just shoot fog. Well, because they all stand, they all come out.

They all come out to stand and present the dogs. They're all out there. And it's like this big thing, like ta-da! And out of nowhere, it was like, boom! It's like, it's so much fog. It's like, it literally, I, watching it, I literally thought it was an accidental, like, fire prevention system that went off.

So they, everybody gets sprayed. And then as the fog clears, everyone's screaming and there's mayhem. And, but it starts like slow because everybody realizes there's dog poop everywhere. And they blurred out the dog. I was like, did the dog shit out? Tiny dildos. Why are they blurring it out? I,

Are there like tiny dicks all over the ground? What's happening? I think they were actually, I think it was actually for comedic effect. It kind of, the blurring out actually kind of emphasizes like, this is like shit right now because all the dogs, you know, these poor, these poor animals, you know, this, this is such a big scare. It's like, it's startling first and foremost. And then it's like, it's scary. So they literally all shit themselves. And so all the dogs shit on the floor and Karen sees it. And she was like, Oh no,

And she runs and starts puking in a trash can. And it's like someone yelled fire in a movie theater. I mean, and I'm sure half of this was sound effects, but it's just like people running around and screaming at the top of their body, running from one side of the room to the other. Um,

Then Karen just starts vomiting in a trash can. She's like, whoa. Giselle goes, well, I blame TJ because TJ served no purpose otherwise. He served no penis. He served no cunnilingus. He served none of that. She's like, it had to be him. That's his only. Otherwise, he had no purpose.

So Karen's like, "Well, that shit show had nothing to do with me. I was in the trash can. I didn't know if I was going to make it, but I pulled through. Thank God. And you're welcome, designer dogs. Mama's coming to save you." "I don't understand what happened. I meticulously planned this event out with my event planner. I did not ask for or sign off on fog machines." We see a flashback to her being like, "Confetti, right? Confetti only."

So then Ashley's just like, well, I just hope that somebody adopts one of these dogs. Well, I hope they don't because every time they poop, someone's going to be sent into a fucking...

traumatic moments like what the hell I've never seen people react like this to dog poop don't most of you have babies that poop is way worse a baby can literally poop in your eye they can like projectile that shit at you you know yeah by the way every single one of my friends who have babies they love to brag about how desensitized they are to poop so I know like

If you're so desensitized, you can handle this dog poop right now. But man, there was a lot of dog poop on that floor. And they're coming through with bleach and everything. It was every... Oh my god. It was wild. And these poor dogs. So everyone's running. And it's pure badness. And then we get... As they're running, fleeing the poop. What will happen is the screen will freeze. And we get an update on their lives. So we have Kierna...

And the update on her is that Kiernan and Greg tried moving into their new home together, but Kay moved out soon after. And Kay stands by her girl math and still expects a ring in early 2025. Now, what part of you guys not being able to cohabitat says that you're going to get a ring at some point? Where does that, how does that work?

How does that, how is that even girl math? I don't understand. I, you know, here's my theory. Nobody knows what girl math is because I've never seen it used properly. And I think a white guy wrote this there. I said, I'm just, I'm just going to say, just say girl math.

i'm just gonna say that whatever like whatever does happen with kierna and that ring and greg i have a feeling we're probably never gonna see it i feel like this is good god so then ashley's still dating butthead but her priorities are healing and thriving as an almost single woman and drag king and then we just see some more screaming and yelling and vomiting and then it cuts to giselle who's an empty nester and loving it she

She's rekindled things with her man and is open to him taking a dip in her love lagoon. By the way, I just want to share. What's grosser? The poop on the floor or the thought of Giselle's love lagoon? I'm going with the I'm going with the love lagoon. OK, I'll take the poop over a Giselle love lagoon story.

I think so, too. Also, Giselle came with Cal. I love Cal. It's always nice when Cal shows up. And I feel like one thing that we forgot to mention is that when Karen was talking about her charity, her goal of adopting designer dogs who have short lifespans, but she's hoping she can extend their lifespan by giving them love. She's telling it to Cal, and he's looking at her with a face like his eyes are squinting like, oh.

Like, wow, this doesn't make any sense at all, Karen Huger, but I will go with it for you. Yeah. Wendy has a new position teaching a class on reality TV at Wesleyan University, and she's enjoying being self-absorbed in her own life. Who wrote these cards? That doesn't even make sense.

Wesleyan University, by the way, that's like a great school. Like, Wendy? It's crazy. I mean, I don't know. Like, Johns Hopkins, Wesleyan. Well, stop sounding so surprised. She has two degrees. Just kidding. Four degrees. Come on, Ben. Don't make me count them for you. Don't make me whip out the girl math. I just love how Wendy is like low-key. Well, maybe not really low-key, but I just love how she's so accomplished, but then she's on the show at the same time. It's just very funny to me.

Um, not to say it being on the show is not that not accomplished. But it's just funny. You have Kierna who's like, I have like, my drama is with Greg, the social worker, and I've got my little spot. And you've got me while Wendy who is like going from one prestigious university to another.

It's just funny to me. That's all. Yeah. That's all I got to say. So then let's see the next one. Stacey's at the final stage of her divorce and she's looking forward to a very unstiff 2025. Me and Gordon spent New Year's together with their kids. She and Inc broke up, but she says, as the saying goes, Inc is never gone for good. So then we just see Karen gagging and barfing and then it freeze frames on her.

Yeah. What were we going to say? I was going to say, ink is never gone for good is not a saying. When they say, as the saying goes, ink is never gone for good. It is because she says it. Ink is permanent. That's her tagline. Ink is never gone for good. So then, you know, the show was really kind of

The show is kind of teasing, kind of a we pick the cameras back up moment. You know, Karen going to the courthouse. It was nothing. It was like we see Karen and Ray step out of their house. They pray. They go to the courthouse. Twelve hours later, she's going to jail. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I will say this about it. Every time I've seen that clip has been a little tiny picture. Like we saw the preview when we were at Watch What Happens Live on Andy's phone. So it was tiny. And then I saw it again on the plane, like a preview that was a tiny little picture. And I was like, why is she wearing a Thomas Jefferson wig?

It's like, what does it look like? Like she's in the wig party, you know, like the political white wigs from back in the day. But it wasn't. It was just a fur hat. So I was glad to see that she was just in a fur hat. But, you know, Karen really did come on to get some tears from the rest of us because she was in jeans and a hat. We've never seen Karen like this, guys. It's a new Karen. It's a sad Karen. It's a repentant Karen. Let's see what happens.

Let's see. So anyway, the reunion is next week, minus Karen Huger, except for a video message. So we will see how that all pans out. Thanks, everyone, for being here. And we will see a bunch of you all in Salt Lake City and in Denver this weekend. Go to WatchTheCrapians.com to get your tickets. We'll catch you there. Bye, everyone. Bye.

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Everyone out there should listen to Small Town Murder. You really should, mainly because you never know who's next door. And that's the point of this show, really. You never know who is next door. You never know what's going to happen on Small Town Murder. That's what makes it so wonderful.

The only thing you do know is that people are going to die. Yeah. And we're probably going to make jokes about it. That's it. That's all we can promise you. We dig into these towns. We see what makes them tick from local legends to scandals they may have had. And of course, the biggest scandals of all.

Horrible murders that take place there. And we put our, what I feel is a completely appropriate comedic spin on the whole thing. And you know you need a laugh right now. So get in there, listen to Small Town Murder. Follow Small Town Murder on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Small Town Murder early and ad-free right now on Wondery+.