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When a young woman named Desiree vanishes without a trace, the trail leads to Cat Torres, a charismatic influencer with millions of followers. But behind the glamorous posts and inspirational quotes, a sinister truth unravels. Binge all episodes of Don't Cross Cat early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Watch what crap happens. Watch what crap happens. Watch what crap happens.
What happens when there's so much that happens? It's so crucial, but what little things are happening? What happens when there's so much that happens?
Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap. I'm going to type in the guy from Baywatch. Okay, let's see who it is.
David Hasselhoff, obviously, is the most honest one. Parker Stevenson. Do you think it was Parker Stevenson? Okay, well, the movie guy was, you know, we made it Rob Reiner, but it was rumored to be Quentin Tarantino was the movie director guy. So she does not have great taste. So maybe Parker Stevenson. Is Parker Stevenson still with us? I don't even know. But I will say, while you look this up, we did get some, you know, an old queen in the bar did reach out to us.
and uh basically the old queen of the bar said i know who jesse's mystery woman is and wanted to share the tea with y'all um and she's my cousin's friend and they have a crazy backstory blah blah blah blah blah which is i'm not i'm not gonna like i don't want to well basically by the way i'm not saying this to you i'm saying this to her to the mist like the mystery girl in general i'm curious though yeah yeah keep going no no the only thing that the only thing that
The only thing that I think the real takeaway from this is actually at the end of this email where she says, P.S. She's a flat earther. That to me is...
So, like, it's a blind item. I'm not going to say the person's name or anything because this is totally weird. You can't say that and then not say the person's name? Okay, send it to me. 100% I can because I don't know if this is... Well, you can Google it. I can Google it. It's a stranger. A stranger just said it's this person. So I'm not going to say some person's name on our podcast. But I want to Google the person. A flat earther who dated Jesse Lally. But what I will say is that
According to an old queen of the bar, Jesse Lally's Orange County girl is a flat earther. So, you know, and to all the flat earthers out there. But I want to Google her name. You might be offended at this, my ridicule. Well, that's going to be on you. Sorry, you'll have to deal with it. Yeah, whatever. Walk off the edge of the earth about it.
So send me her name so I can Google this girl plus Baywatch actor. It's in our, okay, yeah, I'm going to text it to you. Okay, hold on. Okay. Here we go. I won't say her name. By the way, I'm the one who just said, who cares? I don't care who she is. And now I'm like, who is she? I have to know. Because it could have been Zac Efron or it could have been The Rock. Wow. I think it was Parker Stevenson though. Well, this is the girl. This is not the Baywatch person. No, I know. But the girl hooked up with the Baywatch guy.
Oh, got it. Yeah, I just sent it to you. Oh, okay. Well, you can go on. I'll do this. Okay, I'll go on. So in the meantime, yeah, she likes to talk with a guy from Bear Watch. And Jesse's like, all right, thank you. And then also, he's like, okay, thanks so much. I have more to say. No, that's good. I'm good. I'm set. I'm going to hang up on you. Bye. No, but I have more details. By the way, this is not a secret. This is out.
I just Googled this name and it says, who is the Valley star? Jesse Lolly's girlfriend, Lacey Nicole. Okay. In that case. Well, then I guess I just put it out there that she's a flat earther. Congratulations. That was a young queen in a bar who told us that. They're like, you got to ask a guy. We've already heard it, okay? It's in Newsweek. It's literally in Newsweek, ma'am.
Well, then in that case, I was just trying to protect the identity of anyone involved. But I guess I guess it's like, well, that could only make her more popular these days. You know what I mean? The world's going in a crazy place. Some people will be like, oh, my God. Oh, and then thank God it's flat. Am I right? Yeah.
The world's going to crazy place. So make sure you don't fall off the edge of it. Okay. So yeah, she was like, yeah, the guy from Baywatch verbatim, literally verbatim. It was so verbatim. I was like, stop touching yourself in front of me. Okay. Do that at home. And so he's like, okay, Sheena. Thanks. Just sorry for the bad news. So she's out of there.
And then Michelle's like, this girl can do whatever she wants. I don't even know her, okay? But what I'm just saying, and he's like, okay, fine. I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed right now. I just had a crying scene. I don't know if you noticed. So I'm going to go pick up Isabella. If that's okay with you, thanks for coming by, toots.
It's sad that my four-year-old daughter tells me to keep Malibu when she goes to her mommy's house because she doesn't want me to be lonely. But Michelle can't see that. She thinks that it's fake. I didn't cheat on her. I didn't lie to her. Yeah, maybe I was a shitty husband, but I didn't hurt her. You don't get to gloss right over that part.
You being a shitty husband is not just some light thing. It's not like you left a yogurt out on the counter. You're a shitty husband. It's like, but what about me? I'm alone in the house. You're alone because you were a shitty husband. You just answered your own question. You're also not lonely because you've got a flat earther in your bed.
Allegedly. Yeah, and they do a close-up of him, and his eyes are just glazed, and he's a mess. He's a mess as well. Rehab for everybody! By the way, I would also like to add another thing, which is that there's no way that daughter is leaving her toy. I guess is that like her stuffed animal or something? The dog? Yeah.
I remember I was feeding the dog Malibu scrapped eggs. The only way the daughter will know that Jesse is lonely, because the daughter is young, is if he's telling her that. I guarantee he is playing emotional warfare, and he is sitting there being like, yeah, I'm so lonely, I'm here alone. He's saying this, hoping that the daughter...
carries this message to Michelle and to anyone else. I think it's actually a little messed up that the daughter would even know that he's quote unquote lonely because you should not be putting that onto your child as far as I am concerned. Yeah. So then we go to Jackson Brittany's and Danny and Jason show up. Bro, bro. Hey, Jackson, I know you're going through a rough time, bro, but you ever heard of a place called Santa Clarita? Yeah.
"Hey, bro. Hey, I'm a little bit sick. I got hand, foot, and mouth from the kids." Yeah, when you got three under three, they give you three different parts of your body that get the disease, you know what I'm saying? And Jack's like, "Ugh, disgusting." It's like, just kidding. It's just a joke, but Jack's washes his hands anyway. So Jason's like, "Yeah, I'm no professional, but I think Jack's is depressed and, you know, it's like he's rageful." Yeah, yeah, Jason.
So they're basically like, listen, we heard about the cruise thing. We're just here to make sure your stool's okay, bro. So yeah, how's that doing? And they're like, Jax, you know, you need to get help, rock bottom, et cetera. And he's just looking at his phone. He's so pissed off that they're even there, you know, because he's like, God, how many scenes? And he even says, he's like, God, I've been having this whole fucking conversation all fucking week. Maybe I'm a little sick of it. Because he's mad that they're making him shoot these scenes. You know, but welcome to the life created. Exactly.
And Jason's like, well, you know, you reached out to me and you reached out to other friends. And I know like, you know, you know, and you're like, you want to help and like you're struggling with some stuff. And like, you have a lot, you have a lot of really bad depression and anxiety. And Jack's like, the more Danny and Jason are talking, the more this feels like an intervention. I was like, yeah.
Yeah, exactly. Although kind of a sad intervention that you can only drum up two people. So Jason is like, he's like, yeah, I just thought something you can cure on your own. Jack's like, I'm a huge fan of intervention. Just never thought I was going to be on that show, but they want me, call me love to be another TV show. Thanks. Yeah. So he's like, yeah, I'd fuck the lady who was crushing cats in between newspapers. That was something. Yeah.
So they're trying to talk to him, but he's not having it. And they're both like, we're guys who are keeping the man accountable. Look at us kind of gently talking to this person that we've enabled for the past two years. Yeah, we're good guys.
And so he's like, oh, just guys, sorry. I'm just waiting for a call from the, you know, the doctor. Cause you know, it's a place, you know, cause I'm trying to get help, you know, except a good guy. So just one question guys. What about me? Okay. What about, okay. Whoops. The phone's ringing. Get out, get out, go, go fucking go. Just go. I got to take this call guys. Got to take this call.
He's like, Jax is saying, you know, it's tough for me to ask for help, but I talked to my sister and she's like, you should go. We see a flashback of the FaceTime with his sister. And she's like, yeah, you need to check yourself into a facility because mental health issues run in our family. And you're kind of a poster child, not just in our family, but in America right now. So check yourself in. Thanks so much.
Yeah, and he's like, "Yeah, my dad's turning over in his grave for doing this." Oh, okay. Your dad's upset that you're gonna try to not be abusive and throw furniture and get off coke? Yeah, I'm sure your dad's super disappointed.
So then the mental health clinic person calls and he kicks the guys out of the house and they're like, okay, well, glad we came by. This was fun. So he's on the phone with this guy and the guy's just like, hey, man, I know you want to get help. So thanks for participating in that. Really appreciate it. Yes. Tell us what's wrong. He's like, I've got anger. I've got anger issues. We're going to get a brief survey at the end of this call, okay? Just remember to give me all tens. Okay. What's up today?
all right so i just have like a lot of anger issues mainly because of my my wife you know she did this to me like no one's checking on me what about me huh and the guy's like so uh what's your depression on a scale between one to ten ten being the most severe he's like yeah nine for sure nine yeah yeah it's like okay well look we're gonna get some stuff settled for you come on in yeah i think it's gonna be 30 days it's gonna be thirty thousand dollars no big deal right bro and jack's like well what thirty thousand dollars
He's like, so what if I don't do what if I don't do the whole time? And he's like, yeah, unfortunately, if you leave early, we can't refund you the rest. OK, it's not like because, you know, Jax is like, OK, so two days is two thousand dollars because I got that. No, it's 30 grand, sucka. And how much you spent on Coke in the past year?
So then he's like, yeah, no refund. But you know what? Just 30 days. You'll get so much out of it. It's going to be twice as effective as two 15-day stays. No, it's the same amount, but right in there, right at the same time. It's twice as effective. If you want to do 90 days, that's five-tuple times as effective as four 10-days. Okay. Do you want me to keep doing math for you here? Because I get paid for this.
It's like, oh man, I'm at the end of my rope right now doing all this math. It's hard. It's crazy. This is a big deal, man. 30 fucking days. I mean, do you realize that's like 30 days I've got to step, I have to be away from my like showing up at a bar and like pouring some drinks like once per week and then just like going around places on my golf cart. It's a lot. It's a lot for me to step away from. So then we go to a, well, he is contemplating that. We go to a restaurant elsewhere in the Valley where Michelle, Brittany and Janet meet up
And Brittany is like, hey, so you know what? You know that I've been keeping spice between me and Jackson, cruising Jackson and everything. Well, I accidentally sent a lot of my stuff from Amazon and I got it. God, I said it was for the new house, but I said it's the old house. So I went in there and like I go upstairs to see if I want to grab any extra clothes and stuff or something like that. And then in the bathroom, there's like a thong on the bathroom sink. And I took a picture of it to show you guys. Look, there's a thong. It's like, what is there? Baby wipe on top of it too. Like that.
not even a hot phone. And Jana's like, gross, she must have wiped her vagina on your baby wipe. Okay, snot sucker. Since when are we going to shame people for wiping their vagina? That's actually like 10 classes above what I expect from Jax. Is it weird that I'm actually impressed? That being said, why is this stuff left on the counter? Was this left on the counter, like intentionally knowing that Brittany would be coming by at some point? Like, I don't
Who is leaving just their thong on a sink? And who's leaving the wipe? Don't you realize you forgot your thong? Aren't you like, hey, there's something in my butthole right now. Or like you take off your thong and you're like, why do you put it on the sink? Like, why don't you just leave it on the floor maybe? Or like, why is the wipe not in the garbage? No, I'm a big taker. Nothing makes sense. I take off all my clothes and I put them on the countertop.
Well, I think that in this case, something was afoot. I feel like Jax left things there somehow. I think he either knew she was coming by, maybe like
He probably she probably was like, hi, I'm coming by to get something. Let me know when you're not there and I'll come by. I think that's probably what happened. And he must have left on the counter knowing that she'd go upstairs just to get a rise out of her. I guarantee because I just don't that doesn't make any sense why that thong would be there. Well, he's just throwing it.
Yeah, who knows? I don't think Jax cares for Britain. I think he definitely cares. I think there's probably thongs everywhere all the time. It's Jax. I'm sure it's like a fucking party fucky house over there. It's fucking all the time over there.
And she, so they're like, aha, she wiped her vagina on there. And so Britain's like, I thought it was a COVID mask at first. You know, that's the kind Jack's would wear. They would just be strings. Or one time he made one at, uh, he had one, uh, ordered that was made out of sweater material. So things could still get through a chunky sweater. COVID mask. Yeah.
What's the turtleneck sweater? See, you cannot tell me. I do not believe for one moment that Jax ever wore a mask during COVID. So for her to think that there would ever be a mask in that bathroom. That would be weird to find in the bathroom, in Jax's bathroom on the countertop, a fucking mask from the pandemic. Yeah. No way. There's no way he ever wore a mask.
Think about all the people who got COVID from him. So then Brittany is like, I'm not going to hire them. But Michelle's like, well, I actually was good at, I was better at calling Jesse out the other day. I saw him and they sent him the schedule and he's like, he's like, yeah, he loves to agree on something and then like take it back. But the problem is that this girl that is dating Jesse, she sent me a really horrific text message saying,
And they're like, oh my God, what she is threatening to zoom me. That's like, it doesn't really feel good. You guys are threatening to zoom me. Well, why are you starting shit with this girl? Michelle? Like I'm on your side here, but why are you going to Jesse and saying that girl's telling everybody she's cheating on you with a guy from Baywatch? Like, how is that your business? Why are you getting yourself embroiled in this girl's business? Well, of course that girl wrote you and said, fuck you to you. Isn't that logical? Well,
I feel like I understand the logic of what you're saying. Like, just stay out of all the business. But I also feel like as someone who's dealing with Jesse Lally, you're going to go for it.
This is someone who's gonna be around your child. And you'll be like, just so you know, this person does not have your best interest at hand. And so like, you're bringing them around my daughter. So just so you know, this is what this person's saying to other people. And you're, you're exposing this lady to our, to our child. So you should know this. So I think it was actually okay for her to say it. You shouldn't be surprised if you go on national TV and say some girl is alleging all this stuff on national TV and then be shocked that you got a text message telling you to fuck off is all I'm saying. You know what I mean?
I mean, well, this person in Michelle versus Jesse, obviously, I'm more team Michelle than Jesse. But I think I'm just pointing out, like, I feel like it's unfair to not judge everybody. Like, I mean, come on, you're pretty messy as well, madam. I wonder where the I wonder, by the way, I'm interested. I wonder where the public sentiment is on Michelle versus Jesse, because I saw something briefly that I don't know, someone tweeted something that seemed to suggest almost like.
They tweeted something like, I can't believe we have a show with both these people on it. It was like Jax and Michelle. And I was like, really? Is Michelle being viewed as the worst offender here in this situation? Jesse has a lot of people fooled with his victim. I think he does. Like, she cheated on me. I didn't do nothing. Maybe it was the bad husband kind.
but she drove me to it. You know, people fall for that good little boy shit all the time. I mean, I saw a whole ass threat and granted it was like in some Facebook group, but I saw a whole ass thread. Like, can you believe Brittany attacked Jax when she came in and started trying to trigger Jax on the day that he was going to rehab? I was hoping that she'd come in and say, Jax, I'm so proud of you for going to rehab. I mean, that's a huge step for Jax and poor thing dealing with this witch and awful.
I was like, how do we all live on the same fucking planet? Like what language are you watching this show in? Do they change it in the subtitles? Like what's happening?
Yeah, I don't understand how anyone could ever have that take. Okay, and listen, I know I have some hot takes that are a little out there, but that's terrible. That's a terrible hot take. So then Michelle's basically, she's like, well, basically this girl is constantly threatening to sue me. Like, it doesn't feel real good. Like, you're spending a lot of time with my daughter. And Brittany's like, oh, but why is she trying to sue you?
And so Janet's like, well, I met her at Jax's bar. I thought she was very nice, but she said that she's going to send us all cease and desist so that we don't talk about her. And I said, how dare you while you're eating my casserole? I brought some casserole in my purse. That's just how moms roll. I'm a mom.
You know, she had this, you know, she seemed nice and everything, but like, why? And Janet's like, I'm not interested in getting sued. And there's one word that you can add to a sentence that helps prevent that. And then she does her hands out and allegedly appears on screen. And then Brittany is holding up a sign that says allegedly. And she's like, allegedly, she just told four people at a kid's birthday party that she was dating a guy from Baywatch and not Jesse. Yeah.
I still don't understand this. What I need to have better context about the Baywatch. Is it the movie? So this girl is telling everybody that I like that. It's not just, you know, it's like literally everybody. She's going to a group party and being, Oh, I'm not dating Jesse. I'm fucking the guy from Baywatch fucking Parker Stevenson. Okay.
So Michelle's like, well, how am I supposed to feel about you when I get a dicks like that? And Janet's like, oh my God, you know what? Like if that girl doesn't want her name out there, she shouldn't date somebody famous. You guys, we are so famous right now. So that's what you get. And Michelle's crying now. And these girls don't know what to do because they're like, oh God, emotionally supporting somebody. This is Los Angeles, ma'am. So they're both like, oh, are you crying? Let's
Let's talk about a party. Do they have mozzarella sticks here? Anything. Change the discussion. When you have mozzarella sticks, do you prefer marinara or ranch?
Do you want me to come over there and sit by you? Will that make you stop crying? Because I still have to talk about drinks, and Janet probably has to talk about that casserole. So Michelle's like, no, it's just, it's like, it's really, it's fighting so much with my ex-husband, and now I have this girl literally harassing me. So anyway, Janet, talk about your birthday. So Janet's like, yeah, my birthday's coming, and like, I did it pre-COVID, but like, I really want to go to Dave & Buster's, you guys. Millennials.
You. You. Gross. So then she's going to do this and she goes, I wanted to ask you what you think about inviting Jax because I feel like right now it's not aligned with what I want for him. Was that her way of saying, I don't want to invite Jax? It was such a confusing thing to say. It's not aligned with what I want from, who knows, it's fucking Janet. I think Janet's like, I'm going to invite Jax unless you tell me not to, is what it sounds like. But Jax is going to be in rehab anyway.
So Brittany's like, she's also going to invite Jesse.
right yeah she's gonna invite jc as well yeah so britain's like i'll be there one thousand percent neither way i don't care nothing okay so um basically she's like it would be it'll be nice to have peace from jacks but whatever so now they have another round before they all go drive their kids so then they're basically like look we don't want either our exes at this party but we know we're shooting a tv show so go ahead pretty do what you have to do it's time for a commercial
It's time for a Crappin's commercial. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics.
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Everyone has that friend who seems kind of perfect. For Patty, that friend was Desiree. Until one day... I texted her and she was not getting the text. So I went to Instagram, she has no Instagram anymore. And Facebook, no Facebook anymore. Desiree was gone. And there was one person who knew the answer. I am a spiritual person, a magical person.
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So now Zach is FaceTiming Benji. And he's like, "Oh my god, Benji! It hasn't been easy this past almost two months!" And Benji's like, "I know. You've been calling so much. It's been rough."
I thought when I said I was quote unquote deported, that would be enough to get you to be quiet. But you keep on calling me, which is really hard. Yeah, it's amazing how your apartment in Canada looks exactly like the one in Los Angeles. I can't believe you got deported to the exact same building. Why are you sitting in front of a green wall? Oh, I'm sorry. Hold on. Let me flip this switch. Wait a minute. Now you're at Disneyland Japan? Yeah.
I've been traveling. I'm totally not in the country right now. I'm not here. Sorry, let me switch this. Is that a kangaroo behind you? I'm in Australia now. Yeah, I've been...
I'm definitely not in Los Angeles. I'm definitely in a different country right now. Okay, well, I feel like I've done a really good job of trying to give you as much space as possible. Have you? Have you? Yeah! And, like, you know, you can ask Kristen or Brittany and, like, I'm just, like, not really good at giving space. And, you know, I love Banji. Like, he listens to me. We have amazing communication. I don't feel judged and I don't
think I've ever met anyone in my life that I really do hope that we can like work through this and get back together someday he's like yeah so I wanted to call you because it's like D-Day and by that I don't mean Deported Day I don't
I mean, decision day. Okay. That's what I'm talking about. So like, if you're going to tell me you're not moving to LA, I'll accept it. But you know what? Like, maybe I'll move to Canada because I'm following you, Benji. He's like, oh, sorry. I'm not in Canada anymore. I'm literally on the moon. I'm on the moon right now. I don't know if I can get it.
Oh, yeah. Benji's like, you're like a U-Haul lesbian. And he's like, yeah, I'm like your little lesbroom hitched to my U-Haul. Okay. And Benji's like, yeah, I can't tell if you're really serious or not about it.
I was like, you know what? I would hope that you would never think that I wasn't serious because I felt that when you broke up with me, I realized how much I wanted to be with you. So then I was like, when he said that, I was like, oh, is this a situation where the breakup wasn't because of deportation? The breakup was because they were like...
Not a good couple. And then when Benji finally got away, Zach, it was one of those moments where Zach was like, now that you're gone, I realize how much I love you. I just feel like there's more dysfunction here than what we're being presented with. Yeah. And he's like, well, you know, I've always heard the term like, oh, they make you a better person. And, you know, look at me.
Okay, well, I'm not really a better person, but I did change my hair slightly. So I'm with Benji for life. I'm with Benji for life. I mean, literally, on my Grindr profile, it said, like, if you even have the word outdoors, you can swipe left right now. But, like, I go outside now. I go outside, you guys. I put my feet in Brittany's pool. Yeah. So Zach is like, so, like, what do you think you would want to move in for at least half the summer? Benji's like, yeah.
I don't know if you understand what the concept of deporting is. I don't know if that's really an option, but I'll just say yes, just to get you to shut up. Oh my God. Like, I'm not going to cry. Oh my God, I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I'm going to cry. Yeah, I...
Um, so he's like, oh my God, I'm so excited. But like, there's so much nerves about it, but oh my God, we mesh so well together. Oh, maybe we could like, well, I mean, you're not divorced, but like, maybe we could do like, you know, like 90 day fiance wedding swarm or something. And he's like, okay, then I want a Cheetos chapel and an Elvis impersonator.
My favorite thing is when Zach says this because I'm so excited, but there's definitely nerves that surround that because like Benji wears flip flops inside my house because he thinks the floors are too dirty. And it's basically like lava to him. I was like, wait a second. I love Benji. I love the idea. He comes in. He's like, hold on. Let me put on my hazmat suit and your disgusting style of a home.
And now he has to live there. This is not going to go well. So Zach's like, what do you mean a Cheetos chapel? And he goes, yeah, because I want it to match your skin.
Fuck you. You're such a dick. I'm laughing at your wig. Benji is great. More Benji. More Benji. Free Benji, for sure. So then we go to Jackson Brittany's and she goes inside the house with Cruz and she's like, you want some fruit? Oh, it's all rotten. No. Jackson can't even keep fruit alive. Come on.
Although the banana looked fine. I don't understand that. But, you know, I believe there's probably mold over everything. To some of us, fruit just always looks rotten.
Tell me about it. Tell me. Preach, sister. So Cruz is, he's like sad. He wants a bottle. And then we see like empty frames that I guess used to have pictures of them together or maybe they've been turned around or something like that. And so Britt goes in the fridge and there's like a cup that has the girl's lipstick on it. And Josh, not Josh, Jax shows up and he's in that golf cart. So he pulls up.
And he comes in, he's like, "Hey, Cruz! Hey, Cruz!" And Cruz immediately starts to cry. And he's trying to give Cruz a hug, and Cruz is crying in Jax's arms. It's actually very sad. Is he crying? Yeah. I thought Jax was crying. No. Well, maybe Jax cried too, but Cruz was definitely like, "Ahhh!" When he saw Jax, he started to cry. So I was like, "Oh, God, I feel uncomfortable."
So Brit's like, don't kiss them all the face. Jack's don't kiss them all the face. You got horror all over you. You are covered in whore. Jack's you're covered in whore. Okay. You didn't take a shower.
"You had a disgusting girl here last night!" And we see ring cam footage of her leaving the house. And so Jack's like, "I didn't do anything! I didn't do anything! I don't know if you took a shower, so please, don't kiss him on the face with that skank! You got skank all over your lips!" And again, Kieran, like, we send the kid to a different room. Like, come on, you guys. Jesus Christ. Seriously. So gross.
So he's like, I mean, why is Brittany coming after me? Like, it's not fair. Like, I invited Paige over. Like, big fucking deal. You know, like, okay, so we had a rule of me not inviting people over and I broke the one rule we had. I mean, big fucking deal. What about me, though? How is she allowed to fuck my best friend? But I can't have somebody else. It's not fair. Like, come on. Okay, you agreed to a rule and you broke the rule and you left, like, a thong places and lipstick all over places and she's, like, on the video coming into your house. Like...
Two wrongs don't make a right. It's as simple as that. You know, sometimes these old adages really mean something. So then they basically give the kid to Zooli, the nanny, to get Cruz out of there. And then Jack's like, you ruined my life! So he keeps on moaning and groaning about having to go to rehab, which to me indicates...
He has no interest in going to rehab, which I guess we could all divine. But like this is... It also shows like this is not going to be effective whatsoever. And anything that comes out of this, I don't think will be effective. I think this is just...
Jack's he's doing with this because the producer said, you've got to go to rehab. Otherwise you're not going to be able to stay on this show. And he's blaming her for him having to go because since she called people after he threw furniture and had a rage at her, it's her fault that he's now in all of that trouble when she should have just kept quiet about the abuse, his drugs and everything else. None of it's his fault. It's her fault for tattletaling and that ruined his life.
And that's always been his MO, and that's always the narcissist MO, which is that when shit goes down, the narcissist is always like, why do we have all these voices interfering? It's always like a circle of the wagons, right? And this is what Jax did with the whole faith scandal, which was like, I'm so sick and tired of everyone weighing in. I don't want people to weigh in. Everyone has something to say. It should just be about us and create separation between people who could actually be helpful in the situation. And so he's –
That's sort of like an extent that's extended here to that by like implication. So we're seeing how he's acting and then we're seeing how he's acting in his confessional, which is of course like the good guy. So he's like, you know, I'm going to a treatment center for 30 days and you know, like I'm spiraling. I just don't want to be like this for my son. You know, if I have to do it, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it for my son. But meanwhile, I was like, fuck you. I'm doing this because of you, you bitch. Like,
It's like, yeah. So he's like, well, yeah. Why don't you go, go back to your boyfriend, Julia? Do you hook up with the past five months? What do you do that? What do you do that? And she's like, I'm not hooking up with him. And you know that. Okay. And so they yell about that. And he's like, you hooked up with Julian for five months. I have it all documented. I have the dates. And so there was a girl in my house this morning. Yeah, there was. That is disgusting.
did. Yeah, she was in the spare bedroom, which, no. Oh, right, right. He's pulling a Sandoval with this one. Yeah, she was in the spare bedroom. That's my spare bedroom. That's my mom's room. He's like, I don't care. You don't pay. You never paid one bill in this house. Why all the bills on this house? You don't pay the mortgage at all. So what? I pay the property taxes. I put the same amount of money down as you did, and I still pay the bills. Hell yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he goes, oh yeah, and you hook up with the guys at your thing. And she goes, I have an Airbnb. So she has my house. I can fuck in an Airbnb. You can't fuck in my house. Does that make any sense? That was our number one rule.
i don't even recognize you anymore like who are you i'm like how do you not recognize him he's exactly he's the man you married we all recognize him where the have you been you're the one with him every day weirdo so he's like but i begged you i begged you i begged you to come check on me see how i'm doing you never checked on me that's why i had to have that girl over and we see a screenshot of this girl and she's of course who jack's
is with like it's just like so it's so on type for jacks it all we see is like this really pretty girl with size five tuple you know x boobs and it's all jackson loves you know so um she's yeah but he's doing
Yeah, he's just pulling this card of like, you didn't check on me to see how I'm doing, which is so ridiculous. He goes, but you scared me. You were the one who threw the, you don't get checked in on because you're the one who threw the bar stools. That doesn't work that way. Right. So she's saying you scared me and you hurt me and you need help. And he's like, you do. You need help. What about your help? What about your help? You need to get help for not checking on people. Do I have rehab for that?
And she's like, I do. I have to go therapy because of all the stuff that you put me through. And he's like, yeah, well, if you were that miserable, you could have left years ago. All we do is argue and cry. I think she tried to leave years ago. And then you were the one who was like, it won't happen again. I'm going to be a better man. Don't you worry. So that doesn't really hold up for me. And so now she's crying. She's like, I don't want Cruz to grow to be a person like you. And he's like, oh, he can't anyway. He doesn't have the lats for it.
She goes, I didn't make you throw chairs and punch holes in the wall. And, and he's like, oh my God, are you serious? He goes, that's it. I'm done. I'm done filming. I'm done with this all. So he like walks out and he's like, this is toxic. She's like, I'm not toxic. You are. Yeah. He just keeps going. Yeah. She's toxic. She's toxic. She's toxic. I can't do this. This is toxic guys. See, see what you're making. You're making me film with a toxic person. And.
And he's doing the whole, she can hook up with my best friend, but I can't have someone over. What's the difference? What's the difference? And Serge is screaming and yelling at each other. And she's screaming that if he doesn't stay the whole 30 days, she's filing and she's taking Cruz and she's getting full custody and she's getting a restraining order and he's going to lose his job.
Yeah. And she's like, you can't take responsibility for anything. So then she's like, you know, he's going to go, he's going to go, go for one day and he's come right back. And then he's done, he's done, which is exactly correct. She knows when she's like, you need to get, get over your Coke addiction. She's like, you're the one who has an addiction. And he's like, so how much Coke have you done? And she's I've done it, but you're the, but you do a drug test on me right now and I'll pass. What about you?
Yeah. And then he says, this is wild because she can hang out and hook up with somebody that's in my circle and some pictures of my son to him. And yet I can't have somebody over to the house when she's not there. And it's a different room. That's gaslighting. If anybody's a gaslighter, that's her. I'm like, that's literally not even not even close to what gaslighting is. Of course, Jax pulls out some word from the zeitgeist and tries to use it.
- Yeah, so they're screaming and yelling at each other and she's screaming, "You need to be honest with the doctor and not go in there and start lying about yourself." And she's like, "Listen, I'm not protecting this fucker anymore."
you know, I'm adding everything. So let's do this. So this is when she's like, you're the one with the Coke problem. So he's like, she's like, you're the one with an addiction. He's like, I do not have an addiction. Okay. I do not have an addiction. And so I give, give, give me a drug test. I'll pass. Will you? And he's like, I'm not doing this toxic. I love that.
I love when she said that. That was great because he really, he was like, uh, I'm not going to do this. He had no, he couldn't even lie about that. He couldn't even, Jax, the serial liar couldn't even say, of course I'll pass. He's like, I'm not going to answer that. So she's saying that like Cruz deserves more. She deserves more and she can't take it anymore. Yeah.
And she's like, you know, you're going to realize that one day that I was the only one who actually loved you enough to hold you to it and get you actually the help that you needed. And I'm like, I don't want you to even say that because that implies that someday he's going to come around and realize and almost the suggestion is almost like, like he will appreciate the things that you do. Like you don't have to live for his appreciation. You don't have to care whether he appreciates or not. Like you close that door on this awful monster. Yeah.
Yeah. So she's, she goes outside and Jason's there and he hugs her and she's like, yeah, I mean, I was in there and he was screaming at me because I was hooking up with somebody and I might just be honest about partying, you know, like going out all the time and stuff, you know, and he wasn't listening to me. Okay. So maybe you can talk to him. Just tell me, you know, to be honest with, with the therapist. And he's like, uh, yeah. Okay. That's going to work out. Great. Sure. I'll do that. Okay.
I just ate a casserole. It was very heavy. Do I have to go in there? She's like, go on, do it. So she says that it's going to be like a huge relief to her that he's going to be basically away in a facility for 30 days. I felt actually my heart really broke for her because that's just, that's a terrible place to be in where, you know, like you can only find peace when this tormentor of yours is basically in a way for 30 days. It just like, it's just,
like it's such a terrible situation that they're, they're all in. And so she basically is telling Jason, okay, go deal with them. And Jason is like, he said, well, you know, when you're dealing with checking into a mental health for 30 days away from your friends and family, it's gotta be terrifying. And,
Well, if he makes it through the entire 30 days, I'm going to be extremely proud of this guy. Spoiler alert, you will not be proud of him. Never. Not at all. You know, so he has a talk with Jason, Rich Axe, the other Jason. And he's like, you know, what are you afraid of, bro? And he's like, I just, I'm missing out on things, you know? Like, I'm not going to see my sub for a month. I mean, what am I going to throw in there? I'm not going to have anything to throw. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I have a son. I have a son. I have a son.
So then he's like, you know, I just, the only reason I'm doing this is because, like I said, my son. And, you know, I took it out of proportion with throwing things, you know. I mean, I made a mistake. I screwed up. I screwed up, you know. But like, just one question. What about me? What about me? I'm a work in progress. What about me? What about me? So, yeah. My name is Jax Taylor, and I'm finally admitting that I need help. No. Yeah. Don't let my dad know what you said.
No, I said, I'm finally admitting that I need help, which is what he said. But like, I don't think that's like saying that you need help. He always says he needs help. He always says, well, you know, I'm a work in progress. I need help. I need help. I need someone to help me. Like you're not special, like not special. This is not a significant thing that we're ending the episode with him saying, I need help. It's like, I don't think you think you need help because you just were yelling at Brittany that she ruined your life. So you're just saying the things that you know, the people need to hear. So that way they, they, they treat you better.
Yeah, but he can't stop himself from interspersing it with the truth every other sentence. So it's not going to work. I mean, well, what's also funny here, they don't need him for this show. He was barely on last week and the show was fine. Just get rid of him.
You know what's also funny? This scene was really dark. Really, really dark. It was a little uncomfortable to watch. And as it starts to come towards this finale, they start to segue in to watch what happens live. So they split the screen. So in one half, you see this shit happening with Jax, and it's serious, and it's dark. And then the other screen, you see just like, you can't hear anything, but you see Andy talking to like Kristen and Nia. He's like, ah, wow!
They're just like laughing and smiling and joking. I was like, this feels like a weird juxtaposition of what I'm hearing versus what I'm seeing. So it's like the serious scenes when you see Andy. Yeah. Yeah. That's hilarious. Okay. He's going to rehab and their babies are already kind of drinking because they are in their stomach. It's Kristen and what's her face from the valley.
Okay, tonight's secret word is rehab. Whenever you see the word rehab, take a shot, do a line off someone's ass, just make sure you're not driving. All right, welcome to Watch What Happens Live.
Oh, fun times. Well, a great show. Really, really dark and disturbing, but fascinating to watch. Thanks for everyone for being here. We got some dwell. Hello happening later this week. We have our bonus episode. Our bonus episode is next gen New York City trailer trash. So check that out and we will catch you on the next one. Bye. Bye.
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