#2870 Top Chef S22E12 Part One: The Forage Seasons
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Watch what happens, watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Watch what happens, watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo we love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Hello, Ben. Hi. What's going on with you over there?

Not much. Just excited to talk some Top Chef with you. We have so many exciting things happening. We have our Seattle show next week where we will be recapping the season premiere of The Real Housewives of Miami, which I feel like people are not... People need to be talking about the fact that this show is coming back next week. It's going to be so great. And then the week after that, we have our final, final, final show.

of the mounting hysteria tour. And that's gonna be in Los Angeles at the Fonda theater on June 19th. So, uh, please join us there. Tickets for these shows that were links to the tickets are at watch what crap happens.com. Anything you would ever need from us is at that link. Uh, you can also find links there to our Patreon, but it's also easy to remember our Patreon, which is just patreon.com slash watch what crap happens. Um,

where on Patreon we have Crappas on Demand, where you can watch us, not just listen to us. So hello, everyone. We do lots of fun things like trailer trashes. We also do our bonus episodes. And we're very excited because Love Island USA is starting up, which means that for the duration of that show, we are going to be checking in every day and talking about the last night's episode. So we did that last season. We had a lot of fun with it. So I hope you join us because last season was honestly truly amazing. I love Love Island season. It is upon us.

And lastly, I think that is it. I don't think there's anything else. Next Gen NYC is starting up this week also, so we'll be having recaps of that and just all the fun stuff. But right now, Top Chef is starting to wrap up, and we're here at the semifinals in Canada. What do you think? Here we are, Alberta. Alberta. Alberta.

Here we go. Last week, we missed a recap. So if you're listening to this in the future, like, where were they? How could you skip an episode? We did that because Ben was in Norway. And that's it. That's just how it happened. That's all it was. Ben was living his magical life. And that was really all it was. And did it kill both of us that we missed an episode where Gail was literally eating berries off people's plates? Yes. Yeah. Of course, it hurt. But we had to do it. I will say.

I would like to make an update on this front, which is that the week that we skipped was the Beef and Berry Challenge. And as people may know, I really hate most berries, but...

when i was in norway guess what i did you did not i ate various berries i did how did you feel about it did you come back a berry convert or are you just like no not a berry convert but i think i'm very tolerant now where if i see a berry on my plate i don't immediately like oh no i can't eat it i can't touch it like it was so bad that i really like if berries were touching stuff it was really hard for me but now

I think I can just eat berries. I still don't like a lot of berry-flavored things, so if there's a candy that's raspberry-flavored or whatever, it still is totally repulsive to me. But I also feel that way about things I do like, like banana. I don't like banana flavoring or grape. A grape candy is disgusting to me, but I love grapes and I love bananas. So I feel like I made a lot of progress on the berry front in Norway. Well, I love that for you. Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you. It was like a one for me. That is huge. Yeah. Like, I think I can like deal with strawberries. I'm hoping to get to a place where I actually look forward to it. Like I felt that way about passion fruit for the longest time. I hated passion fruit and it got thrown to so many desserts that I had like nice restaurants. I was like, Oh, it's passion fruit, but I guess I should just power through. And now I actually enjoy passion fruit. So I hope I can catch up with really the rest of the entire world and start to enjoy strawberries and blueberries and raspberries. Not quite there yet, but yeah.

Yeah, big progress. Nice. Well, it's fitting because while you were gone, I tried something new too. Vaginas. Get out. I'm just kidding. Did you have sex with a lady? No. Wouldn't that be funny?

You're on a very journey. I'm on a vagina journey. It's crazy. Our lives have changed in one week. We are totally different people. We've all changed. Okay, so here we are with Kristen. Welcome. Okay, so Lana got kicked off last week, which I felt really bad for her, kind of. I felt kind of bad for her because, I don't know. Well, you guessed that Lana might win because they had been setting up

Like Lana, like let's give Lana backstory now. And you thought that that meant she was going to win. And so I kind of had it in my head that she was going to win. And I will not win, but get to the finals. Get to the finals. Yeah. Yeah. So I was sad. I was sad for Lana because she's got a boyfriend in Italy. She needs the money. She's so cute. I really liked Lana a lot, but yeah, she just couldn't, she was, she was starting to.

She was starting to flame out, so that's okay. So she's no longer with us. But we do have Cesar, who actually, we know he's still with us because his first line of the episode is, "I'm still here." - -"I'm still here." "Yeah, you know, I'm gonna miss Lana's love and-- But you know, I am here. I'm one challenge away from being in the end. And after the end, I get back-- get to go back to my crow lights under my bed."

Rutabagas. My rutabagas are missing me. Isn't that a Sondheim song, I'm Still Here? Isn't there a song like that? I'm still here. Good times and bad times, I've seen them all, my dear. I'm still here. Rutabagas grow light.

- That's all I have. ♪ Spain is not putting up a fight ♪ ♪ And I'm still here ♪ - And Bailey's crying. She's like, "I have such a true friend in La La. It feels like a bigger purpose now because I'm fighting for all women." Oh, for Christ's sake, just go burn your lasagna already in the streets.

Tristan's gonna win this thing so stop trying to hold out for any sort of symbolic gesture like whatever you want to do it's fine but Tristan's gonna win so let's just like let's set expectations so you think it's for sure Tristan huh I think that that's obviously the front runner I think it's gonna be Shwai for some reason no I think it's gonna be Tristan Tristan has been so good all season long and like

He literally skipped his father's funeral to be here. And I like, are they really going to not, they're not going to give it to Tristan. I mean, they have to, he has been. And on top of that, like, not only has it been so good, he's also like,

Lovely. Like, I think we all are rooting for Tristan, right? -Are we rooting for Tristan? -Yeah. -I'm rooting for him. -Yeah, I'm rooting for Tristan. I love Cesar. I even like Billy. I mean, I like everybody at this point. This is one of those seasons where I actually like everybody and everybody seems super talented. So, yeah, it would be great to see Tristan win, for sure. And he probably will. I think you're right. But I think they're gonna do a shocking thing where they-- And also, Tom loves to give last chance-- last chance kitchen winners

You know, that's his show, so I feel like he stumps really hard. It validates it. It validates the entire process. Because we've got two of them now in the finals, which is nuts. Like, you've got Cesar and Bayley. Well, I guess this is the semifinals, right? Yeah.

Still, it is wild. So, yeah, she's saying how she wants to see women get into the finals. And Massimo's like, by the way, I can girl talk. I can girl talk very well. You know what? I'm really good with that. I'm a girl dad. I'm a girl dad. You know, his ex-wife is like, I was going to say absentee dad, but that's fine. You can say girl dad too. And then we find absentee dad. Gone dad. I mean, gone dad. Gone girl dad. Yeah.

And Tristan, we find out more about. He's like, I'm great. I get my nails done. I love a manicure. Really like it. Moisturizing. That's what I'm really into. We find out more about Tristan today, which I love that Tristan's kind of a little diva. You know, he's like, I don't go outside and I get manicures. There. Yeah. That's it.

So they go back to the hotel and then Cesar takes a banana and he like-- he sort of like cuts it in a way where he puts a little-- and he sort of slices the tip of it and then puts a blueberry in it and makes it look like a-- like a little fish coming up with a berry or a dinosaur with a berry in its mouth. I was like, "This is the most Cesar thing that he could do right now with this banana." And of course I loved it. I was like, "I'm gonna do that." He's like, "You know what? I was having a good day, but then something happened where I had to eat my friend, the fish."

Finally made a friend. And I ate him. So they get mystery totes and they've got fishing gear. And Bailey's like, gloves? I think this means we're going to forage. I love foraging.

I'm terrified of foraging. I actually was going to do some light foraging in Norway, but I didn't wind up doing it. Somehow it just didn't happen. But the night that I watched this episode, actually, our group, we cooked a dinner because the leader of our tour group

We had two leaders. One was like a Norwegian, and then one is actually an American expat who lives in Norway, and she's also a cookbook author. Her name is Nevada Berg. Everyone get her books. Northwild Ketchup. Or as we call her, Trader Nevada Berg. So she loves to forage, and so we were going to try to forage for some meadow sweet, which is like a little fun. What's that?

It's like a flower that you can eat. It's like, yeah. But so I took a nap, actually. I took a nap and I missed some of the foraging. And by some, I mean all of it. But the product of the foraging is that we wound up

with spruce tips. And you can actually eat the, if you have like a pine tree or like a spruce, like the new growth at the edge that happens in the spring where it's like still all soft before the needles have become like piney and hard, you can actually eat those. So we actually had with our dinner, actually with our cocktails, we had forage spruce tips.

- And did you ever at one point in this dinner think, these people are fucking with me? - I think that all the time about everyone. I'm very gullible. Like, is this real? - That sounds really good actually. Foraging to me sounds like, does the FDA know about this?

I know. You know, when people go through the kitchen and if you ever work at a restaurant, you know, the letter ratings or whatever you get on the outside, the A's and B's and stuff. You really they are so picky and stringent on what is served and how it's served. And there's all these rules. And I'm like, but you just went and picked this out of a pile of poop in a forest. And I'm supposed to eat this. And I know that's so sad how removed we are from nature. But I think we've all learned that nature is gross and it needs to be cleaned before it goes into our mouths.

So that's where I'm at with foraging. I feel like I don't see the need for foraging. The one thing I would forage for maybe would be for ramps because they're really, apparently really hard to get or they're only like seasonal or whatever. Well, how else are you going to get onto a freeway? I'm not going to wait for the city to build this. I'm going to find one in nature. How am I going to buy my Hot Wheels? Yeah. I mean, ramps are ramps.

It's like in the onion family, an allium. It's kind of like... People really love them as though... I think they're more like delicate or floral or whatever than like a scallion. But they're actually like... They're seasonal and they're climate specific. And so you can often...

It's often much cheaper just to get them out of the forest than to go and buy them at the supermarket, because it's like they're crazy expensive because they're so rare. So I would forage for that. But what I would not be interested in foraging for ever would be mushrooms, because I'm like, I don't want to die.

- Well, that's the thing, 'cause you're always taught when you go camping or whatever as a kid, they teach you don't just eat the mushrooms 'cause they'll kill you. So I have that in my head, you know? And so I've seen them picking out these, Cesar's like, "I found one that was bigger than a human head. "It was amazing. "It was 9,000 pounds. "I've never forgotten about that. "I was in the newspaper. "Well, I wrote it on the cover of the newspaper, "my mom's newspaper. "I love my mom. "Now my mom comes."

But we see him with a huge mushroom and I'm like that, I wouldn't eat that. Like, you don't know what that's grown in. Yeah.

A hen of the woods. You know what I want? I want a hen in the supermarket. Give me a hen of the supermarket, please. Okay? Because I-- Like, you know, I just-- I feel like there was just a story about a famous forager who ate a poison mushroom by accident and died. Like, I don't want to-- I'm not-- It's just not worth it to me. It's not worth it to risk my life just so I could be like, "This mushroom? Yeah, I found it in the forest."

I mean, at this point, I risk my life all the time on stupid things. I drive a Vespa. I vape still occasionally. Well, occasionally my ass. So, I mean, I'm already risking my life on stupid things. But here's the thing. Like, I don't want to risk it on a mushroom. Like, I'll risk it to go into a dangerous restaurant if they have good food. But I don't want to risk it eating. Like, I'll go to like a Waffle House at two in the morning. You know what I mean? Where you know there could be a fight.

But I don't know that I'm willing to risk it on some mushroom you picked. Like, that sounds gross. Go to the store. How about pick a job, get a car and go to a store and buy something? Get a job. Get a job. Get an oyster mushroom at the store. And Cesar's like, yeah, I found this huge 15-pound hen of...

the woods what are you gonna do with 15 pounds of hen of the woods mushroom like that's a lot i'd love mushrooms but 15 pounds that's a lot you're i hope you're i hope you invite some people over that's a lot meanwhile i hope you have like a mushroom party because that shit's crazy and then they showed the big mushroom that he bought and it looked like one of the plant alien or zombie things from the last of us because they're all like vegetable zombies

It's like a broccoli monster and they're chasing you, which was actually more terrifying, but I think that's Weight Watchers memories. I'm literally being chased by broccoli right now. I'm here, they are on TV, but I don't like the zombie head. - Cesar literally just decapitated a zombie and was like, "I found a mushroom, guys." Like, you killed a zombie, actually.

And he says, "Yeah, I found a 15 pound hen of the woods. And it took me two hands to hold it." I mean, the adrenaline just hits you. The most exciting moment, which I don't know. It's just funny. Like, I guess some people jump out of a plane and other people just- - Find a mushroom. - Find a mushroom. Meanwhile, it's like, "This just in,

local famous Chicago mushroom is gone missing from our forest. It was like some, some like special, like community's favorite mushroom that he just plucked. It's like three years later, we see a clip of Cesar on the news just being like, oh,

I just, I was just trying to get there fresh one last time. Trying to find a mushroom. It's like the new, it's the new reboot of Point Break, except instead of surfing, they're just hunting for mushrooms. Did you catch that wave? No, but I found the end of the woods. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

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made them go viral. These are the wild ideas and insights that made Birkenstock the best-selling sandal since Jesus. And made Super Mario the most played video game in the history of attention span. Yeah, Nintendo almost became a ramen company until Super Mario saved it. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Follow The Best Idea Yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast tests. You can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor. Ha ha ha ha!

So now everybody loads into their BMWs to go to Quarry Lake in Canmore. And everybody's like, this is amazing. And Massimo's like, oh, this is something I've never done. I've never been camping before. Gross. Disgusting. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were saying this is amazing about the car because they did a lot of that. Wow. The way these doors closed. I've never seen a door close on a car so beautifully like in my BMW X5 93 BMW X3. Wow.

The way we got into this car and there was a map of where we're going, holy crap. My life is changed. Wait a second. Is this a seatbelt? You mean every seat has one? Wow, what a car. I wish I could get some fresh air in this car. This button moves those glass things down. Air is coming in here. Air from the outside. I forged air. I forged air in my BMW.

Wait a second. I just noticed that you haven't driven off the side of the road. Wait, this car has a windshield? I've never seen that before. So you can actually see the road. You don't have to stick your head out the side. What is this, 100 years in the future? Is Trump still president? Wait a second. I can't believe it. Round wheels. No more squares. At last.

So they go out to look for their stuff, and Kristen is like, hi, guys. Nice way to start the day, right? We are not having quickfire today. Today is Forge Day. That's right. Cesar, please put your boner away. We're in public. Okay.

So, Shuai is saying, "I can't believe we're this deep in Top Chef right now. I mean, the first day I couldn't have been more nervous. You could tell 'cause my cheeks turned very, very red. And I just feel like a whole different person. And I'm just refining myself as a chef. It turns out I can cook the same food, but I talk about my grandma 50% more."

and does much better with the judges. He's like, "I can't wait to forage because I would forge with my grandmother. I'm looking through this for-- You know what I'm looking for in this forage? A grandmother. Just a grandmother to cook because it reminds me of my grandmother." It's like, "Okay, you're going a little far now. Okay, the grandma stories have got to end. Find a mushroom, leave the old ladies alone."

Welcome everybody to beautiful Quarry Lake here in Canmore. Hi, it's Ghost Padma here from the beyond. Canmore, more like more cans. That's Gale asking for beans.

It's a shame I had to die, but I was coming into the forest today to forage. And by forage, I mean find a decent dress for Gale. Unfortunately, I found this magic tree stuck my finger in the socket and was electrocuted. So I'll only be here as a ghost from today on, everybody. Now, welcome to Canmore, or as we call Gale, Can't Less. LAUGHTER

Do you guys all consider yourself outdoorsy? I would say the answer to that is yes, based on the fact that they all smell like bear feces. And Marcy was like, I'll go hiking if it's with a pack of cigarettes. Just kidding. About the hiking. Chrissy goes, what? She's shocked.

She's like, "Okay, all right. Tristan, you're not outdoorsy." He's like, "Um, I work so hard to have a roof over my head and you may have missed it, but I did talk about manicures earlier, so no, I do not go outside." Yeah, he's like, "I will stand at the roof that I paid for. Thank you." "Well, if you want to make it to the finals in Italy, you're going to have to search high and low, which reminds me as a child when I used to play hide and seek and I would search high and low. Oh my God, sorry, I'm crying again. Let me get a little jerked up."

Guys, we're foraging, which reminds me of my season of Top Chef, which was so, so very special. I just spent $10,000 on a quick fire. Just kidding. God, those memories are good. Save for these moments, everyone. Save for these moments. I'm going to play piano on the table. Save for these moments. Save for them.

Please say hello to Creed knowledge keeper and owner of Mohican Trails, Brenda Holder. Brenda? She's like, well, hello there. I'd just like to thank all of you for coming and being such good children to me. No, not Brenda Fricker. It's Brenda Holder. Okay, can we... I think you've been a little mistaken there. I don't know who you're talking... No, not Brenda Blethen either. I'm terribly sorry.

But I don't belong to the Kree tribe. I don't... I never had any relationship. Oh god, I just remember! I've only just found you and you're sending me away again. Okay, Brenda. You can stay. Just stay, Brenda Blevins.

By the way, we highly recommend watching the film from 1997 or '96, "Secrets and Lies," where this is all a reference to. Otherwise, I know people are like, "What are they talking about?" It's a very specific scene in "Secrets and Lies," and you should watch it. It's a wonderful movie. I'm your mom. It's me, your mom, Brenda Blevins. I've served this all. I never had a child. I'll be pretty.

Okay, and next to Brenda Bleden is local chef, master forager, Tracy Little, like the mouse. This is the mouse's sister. So she's like, "Hello, chefs. My restaurant is 10 minutes down the road through a little hole in the wall." And they're like, "Oh my God, that's amazing." She's like, "We do tasting menus of shit that we find outside. People are suckers. It's $50 a plate." I literally served somebody a quail that I found dead in the road.

People are idiots, am I right? Don't forget your A1 sauce. So Bailey says, Brenda and Tracy are incredibly cool. I mean, Brenda just telling us about the land. I could listen to her speak for hours. And Tracy, I just really want to come back so I can try her food. But of course I won't. So anyway, I hope her restaurant does well.

So then Kristen's like, "Chef's-" - Bailey's energy is so weird. Like it gets weirder every week. She's just like, and listen, I'm not a posture person. I'm a very bad, I have Bette Midler posture. Everybody knows it. I can't fix it. My wrists are dragging on the ground and they're already bent 'cause they're gay. So I've got like all this going on. So I know it's hypocritical, but Bailey, I just wanna be like, "Bailey, I know I make fun of you always trying to make lasagna, but you know what? You're talented. Like you're good enough, you're smart enough.

gosh darn it people like you i didn't go that far but i think you deserve to be here bailey because bailey's just so like oh god no i just like i'm so bad at this you know i mean i'd like to try her food because it seems like it's good she'd probably know what to do for this challenge but i don't she's getting more like

It's depression. It's a sad cloud. She probably realizes that she's going to lose to Tristan. That's why. So Kristen goes, chefs, we're going to go back to where the culinary story began. Foraging brought to you by our good friends at McDonald's. So all around the world, happy meal at the happiest place on earth brought to you by McDonald's. I remember being a girl and foraging, going from McDonald's to McDonald's to try and find a boardwalk piece. It's going to be a lot like that. It's going to be a lot like that.

Sorry, I've been in your shoes before. That's special. Safer this. So she's like, leading chefs are really leaning into this practice more and more. And emergency rooms could not be more excited. They have developed all sorts of ways to pump toxic mushrooms out of your stomach.

So Tracy says that Alberta is known for the beautiful outdoors and there's 35,000 hectares of publicly forested land and they provide lots of ingredients for foraging, et cetera. And then Brenda is saying like, this is the time of the energy where the plant goes down to the roots. And so they're just talking about the plants from the land because obviously again, they are...

from indigenous peoples who use the land in sacred ways, et cetera, in much better ways. Yeah, she's like, welcome. This land is medicine. Everything you see here

- It's medicine. - Okay, you're gonna need to sell this a little bit better because these are expensive dishes and I don't wanna eat medicine. So I don't care if it can heal me, but say something else. Just be like, "This is where chocolate was invented." Like lie to me. I don't know, make it good. Like we bake bread here. We forage for Hawaiian rolls, like something, but don't just tell me it's medicine. I don't wanna eat your goddamn medicine. I don't eat my medicine. - Wow, Gale must have strep throat. That explains why she's gnawing on the bark of that tree.

So Christine goes... She didn't mean literally, Gale. You have the tree. Well, for your final elimination challenge in Canada, each of you must create a dish using foraging ingredients from the trees to the roots. But no matter your expertise or level of your knowledge, just know I've done it before and I've done it better than you. And it was an honor. It was an honor to be in your shoes. So Brenda takes us out, shows the kids...

forging stuff. And Bailey's like, "Yeah, you know, living in the city, sometimes you don't slow down and really appreciate how special Mother Nature is, you know? So, like, it's nice to have a moment being connected with the Earth, which I think hates me and my food and everything I stand for. I'd just like to take this moment to apologize to Mother Nature and assure her that I'm gonna do better."

Kristen also tells us, okay, you're going to want to dig deep for this one because the winner will receive $10,000. And so be sure to grab the tools from the trunks of the BMW X3s and then you can come right back. Like, okay, so we are going to be honoring Earth by honoring these wonderful people.

traditions of the Cree people, but also promoting the BMWs that are going to destroy the environment at the same time. The gas guzzling BMW. Or is this one of the electrics? I'm not sure. I think this might be the electric one. Brendan's like, oh, come over here, guys. This is my favorite place to gather some of the wild ingredients. And oh, unfortunately, this tire is sitting on top of my favorite plant. Sorry about that.

Yeah. Let's drive all five BMWs that we took for this through the forest. Okay. Anything you don't run over, you can eat. I also want to point out something. So when they drove out here, they drove like two BMWs. Like, you know, they're in that little caravan.

Whoever was driving that second BMW was fully tailgating the first one. I don't know if anyone else knows that, but I was like, excuse you. Like one car length, sir or ma'am, whoever's driving, let's not tailgate the other BMW. We don't need a fender bender on these roads. I like that you're standing up for it. That's good.

So she's showing people stuff, and she shows them something called yarrow, known for its bitter licorice-like flavor. It can be used in various culinary and medicinal applications. They should just have a medicine. Just call it, just serve me some NyQuil.

in a in a ice cream cone this is what we're gonna do but mossimo goes with it he's like i can't believe it early summer flowers i love them i feel so lucky i only use flowers in season i'm not an out of flower season out of season flower person well that's good because they probably wouldn't be growing right now while you're foraging but i love that you're taking a stand

And then they look at some juniper. Okay, here's another Norway story. I tasted some reindeer stew that was made with juniper. And it really does-- I never really had juniper before. And the juniper really does taste like gin. I was like, "Oh, well, now it all makes sense." The full juniper story. Well, it tastes like breakfast.

- I guess what I'm trying to say is I know a little bit more about juniper than you do, Ronnie. No, but it was kind of cool. It was really cool to taste. - You knew that before Norway, I'd just like to say. - Nor why about that? - You knew more than me before that trip. So Brenda's like, "Well, let's pick one of these because I think they're great. Smell it, smell the gin seeping out of you." I'm sorry, that's my purse, it's open. But the flowers kind of smell like it too.

"Brenda Blethen, are you stealing the juniper again?" "Because it tastes so good when you smoke it." So then Shwai says that he... He says why not just make a bowl of soup, but he wants to make a medicinal broth because, like his mom and grandma, he's like, "Growing up drinking these broths." "Grandma's broth." Jesus Christ. He's like, "Yeah, so he's gonna make something that's medicinal, but, like, good medicinal."

- And then Brenda's like, "Yeah, this is good." - His grandma made it. I was like, "I just can't believe it." I wonder if he even really has a grandma. I'll bet this is just made up for stories on TV. I don't believe it anymore. You've gone too heavy on the grandma. I don't even believe you even have a grandma. There.

So then Brenda's like, "No, this right here, this is a rose hip. Let's try the flesh of it." And Massimo tastes the rose hip, he goes, "Ooh, it's squashy." And she goes, "Yes, a little bit like squash." And you know that Brenda turned to the other lady and was like, "This fucking guy. He's called a rose hip squash." Also, could we please stop reviewing Gale, Massimo? We're supposed to be talking about things we're forging. Leave your squashy comments to yourself. That's my department.

So then they are trying roots and stuff. Tracy tells them to eat dandelion root or mustard root. This is foraging. They're foraging, guys. That's what they're doing. And now Tracy is like, guys, can I show you my favorite thing in the forest? It's a pile of ants. That's right. Yeah.

I pluck them out right with my fingers. I swallow them down whole, feel them biting me the whole way down. Fucking delicious. Are you guys in or are you out? I charge $100 a plate for a plate of ants in this town, okay? Don't be a bunch of wussies. Get your fingers down in there. Kill those motherfuckers. Why is everybody just so okay with murdering ants? And then she's like, and then you get the ant and here's what you do. You freeze them.

Okay? And then you throw them in the fire. So right when they're waking up, they're getting toasted. Have you seen the movie "Amps," Tracy? You're a torturer. - I'm okay with all of this. I just would like to add. - They have families.

They are definitely very gay friendly. All those ants are like, "Yes, queen. We do everything for our queen." Okay. The flaming ants. She is mother, okay? When she says, "Go find some piece of leaf," we do it, bitch. I'm not hanging out with those other ants. We're fire ants. This ant is fire, okay? You heard of Fire Island? How about Fire Antle? Mother, icon, fire.

Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop?

From Wondery and At Will Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is The Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to, like, get other people to do it. And the 2019 movie adaptation of...

Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad-free on Wondery+. Get started with your free trial at wondery.com slash plus.

At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics.

I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.

My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

- So they eat them because Tracy bullies them into eating ants. And she's like, "Just squeeze it between your fingers. Tastes like lemon and vinegar and blood and guts and depression and despair and broken families, Tracy." - I say eat those fucking ants. Eat them. Eat them up. So she's basically, my favorite was, she was like, "Yeah, so this is, we forage for ants. And so you just grab the ants. Oh, by the way, they do bite. Sorry, it's gonna suck." So they're all sitting there like trying to gather these ants, but they're getting bitten by the ants. And you know, Tracy's like,

You know, Brenda was like, "Tracy, you know, we do have some gloves." "Shh, don't get bit." "It's fine, watch them." - I love watching these TV normies try and eat an ant. - Yeah, so then they're eating them and Bailey's like, "You know, it sort of tastes like lemon segments." They're like, "Yeah, sure." - Yeah, you know what else does? Lemons.

- Yeah, that's what everybody says. Like, wow, it's like lemon zest. Yeah, get a lemon zest, poor ants. So then Tracy's like, yeah, this is where Tracy talks about her ant torture, freezing them, putting them to sleep and then toasting them. So, which is probably how healthcare is gonna end up. I feel like that's gonna happen to me by the time I'm old enough. They're just gonna be like, freeze him and then toast him. He won't even know the fucking difference.

Listen, actually, I have actually eaten ants, and this did not happen in Norway. This happened in Santa Monica. - And they were good. - Really? I had fries. Yeah. Yeah, they were good. It's just like kind of like crunch. I would not say they tasted like lemon 'cause they were not fire ants. They were just regular ants. But there used to be a restaurant called Typhoon in Santa Monica, and you could get crickets, you could get ants, you can get all sorts of creepy crawlers. - I've had crickets. - Yeah, crickets are really good. I like crickets.

And I'm not saying ants are gross. I just, you know, I saw the movie ants and I really loved them. I was like, listen, this has changed my mind on ants. Cause like I had ants in my house and it was like a big long line coming from the door. You know how they march. They're so cute. Like they all stay in step and they march up to wherever they're trying to get to. And I was like, I don't want to kill these ants. Cause I saw that movie. And so I was looking up natural ways to get rid of ants. And unfortunately, none of those work. You have to kill the fuckers. You have to kill them. Listen, once you've,

Once you've heard Antz voiced by J-Lo and Sharon Stone, it's hard to kill them. So I-- It's hard! It's like you're killing gay icons. Again, whoever thought about-- I mean, honestly, whoever came up with the casting list for Antz, they deserve an award. They're like, "Okay, here's what we want. We want to do a movie about Antz, but they need to have voices. Okay, let's get Sharon Stone, let's get J-Lo, let's get Woody Allen, Sylvester Stallone, and Christopher Walken."

Done. And it was brilliant. That's why it was so good. It made me feel things, but now we're killing them en masse. So they look for stuff and Tracy's like, "I just can't wait to see what you guys do with these ingredients. Hope none of you are allergic to ant bites. Idiots!" Wow. Hope none of you are allergic to gale bites either, 'cause that's gonna happen later too. One day, one of you is gonna come in wearing cocoa butter.

Lose an arm. So now they load up their cars and they're like... All the boys die behind them. They've all got their stuff. They all had a great time doing it. So now they're in the car, they're talking about their ideas and Tristan's thinking about doing some sort of meat smoked over some sort of branch. Yeah.

This was, these were some of the names they were throwing around before they settled on the name. Some kind of wonderful, like should we call it some kind of meat? No, no. Some kind of branch. How about some kind of wonderful? I suppose. All right. Well, we don't want to show the branch people preference. So I guess it's Mary Stewart Masterson is getting impatient. So you better come up with a name right away.

Mary Stewart Branderson? No, Ronnie, drop the branch. Drop the branch idea. Okay, we're not going with that. Martha Plumpton's like, hi, but I really thought I was signing on to a movie about branches. Oh.

So Bailey is like, well, our brains are going in the same direction. Tristan. He's like, uh, want to just share a dish loser brands do not go in the same direction. I can assure you. And so I was like, now this is now a team challenge. The four of us against Massimo. Okay. Well, five of us. Cause my grandma's here. My grandma is here right next to me.

So Massimo's snoring and everything, and then they go to a store, to a shop. Massimo orders some trout. And he's like, "When I woke up from my sleep in the car, I have a very clear dish that I pictured.

I got really nice juniper and I'd really love to get a grilled trout grilled on the barbie and then smoke them on the juniper. And that way the smoke dispenses all the flavor and you cannot get that any other way. And the longer I spend smoking the trout, the less time I have to spend face-saming my daughter later. Girl, dad. Girl, dad. Girl, dad. And Bailey's like, oh God, I'm just having such a hard time.

It's gonna be Final Four if I can get through. Italy, there's just so much at stake. I heard there's a freeway pileup. What am I gonna do about it? It could rain tonight. I'm not good enough to be here. Just take my apron now.

Tristan doesn't know what he's gonna do either. He's just gonna grab things that just seem right, so he's doing that. And Cesar is really happy that they have a nice mushroom selection. You know, the store was like, "Well, we were supposed to have a little bit more, but someone stole our 15-pound head of the woods that we've been growing for three years." "Missing head of the woods. You've seen this big brain-looking thing? Please call authorities." Brenda's just sitting there waiting.

Here on the scene is our action news reporter, Brenda Bluthin. Oh, terrible story out here in the Shikaki woods. Hen of the woods has been stolen. I'm terribly sorry. There's no more hen of the woods for people to enjoy. I just wanted to tell hen of the woods, wherever you are, I'm your mom. I love you. Come home to me.

I thought I'd never see that another woods again after I planted it, but I'd forgotten. It was, I was young. I was young and I was foolish. I never thought I'd come back to see you again. So they have to cook all this kind of camping style. So Sisar's like, oh, I've got to cook it camping style. So I'm thinking of other dishes that are made in fire. And I thought of tacos al pastor.

So I'm going to do that. Okay. So then, but I mean, like all food is kind of cooked on fire, by the way, to put it out there. And my first thought would be like the flame grilled Whopper. But, you know, I guess that shows our difference in class. Yeah. My first thought is Sizzler. So why not do a nice little buffet for everyone? A forged buffet. Yeah.

So Cesar... Chocola for life. So Cesar is saying that we have our opportunity to pause our lives and I like this pause and I like the things that I'm focused on. I can slow down a little bit.

But don't go too slow because the BMW X3 can go from zero to 60 within 10 seconds. BMW, moving faster for our lives. Faster than Windex can clean a window, but not by much because Windex is amazing. Like, all right, stop double dipping, Kristen. All right. So Masamo says, you want to do Masamo? No. You can do Masamo. No, no, no. Okay. You do it.

I love when we start up on the line together. So he's like, "When I first walked into Top Chef, I was a chef of very difficult 18-year pedigree that I wanted to prove that my name was Massimo. I came in very confident. Then every single day, I was surrounded by chefs of such a quality and caliber that competing against them was very humbling for someone, not for me. I never got tumbled." - "But I did grill a lot of fish."

So there was that. I did break a cutting board and light a fancy restaurant on fire by accident. And Bailey is like, it's so hard coming from the restaurant I work at because it's just so comfortable there. I mean, we were cooked lasagna noodles as pashminas. I mean, does it get better? And, you know, this is just really hard. And every day I wake up and I say, push through, Bailey. Just push through. Bailey...

God, be happier. You're doing so well, Bailey. Be more psyched. So Tristan has this to say. He's like, the biggest thing that I've always reached is competition and being uncomfortable breeds progress and a better thing. And it turns me into another animal that I used to know, right? Like when we were cooks and we were just like hungry. You remember when you're just like cooks being hungry but getting manicures at the same time? That's just where I'm at right now.

I only do this to inspire others. That's his thing from last week. He's like, you know, guys, the only reason I cook is so I can inspire people the way that Marcus Samuelson inspired me. Every day I wake up and I say, how can I be Marcus Samuelson to somebody?

And Joie says, "Well, this has truly been an honor cooking with all of you and my grandma, just because I just didn't think I have it in me anymore. And I didn't. Turns out I had grandma inside me, and this is just all her doing it. I really thought I had peaked, like my grandma did.

But you guys pushed me forward. He's just a reanimated body. He, like, died before this show even began. It's his grandma's spirit moving him. She's like, talk about a stupid grow light. Make some good tacos. My plan. And you know who I'm going to credit? Grandma. She never got the credit she deserved.

So now it's the next morning and now Tristan is painting his nails. It's a clear coat though. And Bailey is writing in a notebook. And Bailey's like, I have a loose framework of what I'm going to cook, but I'm going to let the food and the ingredients guide me. And I've always been big on creative expression, which is why I've got wacky glasses. And in high school, I loved glam rock. Look, here's a picture of me in high school going to blink 182 for a concert.

So I love David Bowie and I don't know if I bring Glamrock into my cooking. I'm like, you literally bring no Glamrock into the cooking. Every week you're like, I'm going to do gnocchi on top of a classic red sauce. I'm like, wow, Glamrock. I hope I can get the bread crusty enough. I'm going to do a classic eggnolotti filled with corn. Just maybe a classic sauce of eggplant and anchovy. Glamrock!

I'm putting flour on a countertop, shaping it into the shape of a volcano, putting an egg in the center and making a pasta. Glamrock. I'm making a savory lasagna that's going to confuse an actor, because it's going to look like tiramisu. Glamrock. Glamrock.

Glamrock really tricked people into eating savories instead of desserts. It was an amazing period. I'd like to credit David Bowie with my tiramisu grape thing. So Tristan is... Tiramisuzy and the Banshees. Glamrock! Glamrock!

Tristan wakes up very inspired because he finally came up with an idea at three in the morning and realized, he's like, "I didn't know what to do, but then I realized when I was in the mountains that black people don't go to mountains." And then I was like, "Wait a minute, but the Taíno people went to the mountains and that's where jerk was invented. And now I have what we call a story."

- Yes. So, yeah, and he talks about how the Taino people were the indigenous people of Jamaica and they used to hide in the mountains and cook with all the forage ingredients and the greens. And so he realizes that was the narrative angle he needed to get to understand what he was gonna cook. And Massimo's like, "My strategy for today is just to go with the moment, cook, break a lot of cutting boards, open mind, open heart, big cuffs around my hands. And you know, I just want to go to Milano. I want to cook some fucking Italian food." - Food.

- Wow, I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I'm doing it for the BMW. Wow, what a car, what an amazing car. I love this BMW X3. I want one in every color. - Yeah, 'cause they're driving back out to the reservation. They're like, you know what? Because we have all this beautiful food that we just foraged and look at the sacred land, rather than just parking and staying here, we're gonna drive in and drive out and drive in and drive out again, just to get as many fumes as possible.

Bailey's like, well, I was really lucky to get some good ingredients when I went foraging. I'm just trying to figure out how to make a cannoli with this BMW tire. Bailey, no, no. Plants. Get the plants, Bailey. Oh, God, I miss my self-confidence.

I grabbed some things to reinforce the poplar. I got some poplars, so I want to reinforce that. So I got some bud syrup. So I'm making poplars and buds. Glam rock!

- So they talk about how difficult it's gonna be to cook in open fire. And Bailey's like, "Yeah, I mean, I'm using dried cow peas or black-eyed peas are so hard. I mean, we're in cow town, so it felt like the right move." God, do cows get offended? Is that a local way to say cow peas? Or do you only say that in other places? Oh God, I could be ruining this whole thing. Do I even deserve to be here? - Wow, you sound like Gale at a restaurant when they ask you what you want to eat. "Cow, please."

- That's what I told Gale last time we got in an argument. I said, "Cowpeas." - Oh, I really want to make dandelion greens with these cowpeas. I hope it all comes together in a kind of glam rock way. - Glam rock. - Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

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