108: NOprah's Book Club
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We are...

Back. I'm recording. We are back. And everybody's recording. And everybody's recording. And some technical difficulties from the jake stirrer that slowed everybody down today. Isn't it? Don't you feel...

Like, it's embarrassing when your internet is a problem. It's like if you take it like you, you feel like you've personally failed. Powerless. Yeah. And you're kind of like the loot. You're like, I've been there where I'm like, or how about this? I have this a lot of times where like, you'll be on the phone with someone and like, it'll start to be bad. And you'll be like,

They'll be like, oh, your phone's breaking up. And you're like, it's actually not my phone. And they'll go, I have all bars. And you'll go, I also have all bars. Yeah. Well, what's worse is when you go, I have all bars. And they go, I'm on a landline.

By the way, even if not, let's just use that as a line to Trump. So many goes, it's not me. And you go like, did I have all bars? And you go, I'm literally on the landline as you're driving through a mountain range. Yeah. Yeah. With no bars. I hear you in the car. It's a landline. It's a landline. Windows are open. Yeah. I'm factoring. There was a burn you did earlier on this call that I got to give you credit for. Well,

When I said, I'm on an old computer, and you go, why don't you get a new one? And I go, well, if it's not broke, don't. And then I froze, and I heard you say, I guess this is, I guess he means it's broken now. This is the evidence, it's broke. You can no longer use the expression, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, when it is actually broken. And I was frozen on my side, trying to finish it, being like, not broke. Hey, shut up, shut up. I'm on a landline. I'm on a land zone.

So, Kevin, I think you were running something for this opener. Today's the special day, guys. We're doing my final weigh-in. My birthday is in two days, which means it's time for the weigh-in. For a quick recap, on May 20th, I was 200 pounds. I made a bet with Jake and Gareth that I could lose 20 pounds by my birthday. Actually, I would say Jake and Gareth made the bet with me.

And if I lost, that's how it works. That's fair. We are always, even on our texts, it's always like, what's the action, though? Well, we just made an interesting one about if the Chiefs make it to the Super Bowl. I feel bad about it now. You do? I do. I was talking to a Chiefs fan last night, and he was...

Yeah, I think it was a bad bet. Anyway, Kevin, it's not about the Chiefs. It's about how you're no longer the hunk with the junk. Taking off the shirt. I have to do my weigh-in. Are you weighing in right now? I'm doing it right now. But also, what is that shirt? Is that merch? We have made me a rhinestone shark shirt for the weigh-in. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is that possible merch or no? I think we'll do a different version of it that's not rhinestone. That's shock-aid.

There is some shark merch in the works. You're looking hunky, dude. I gotta say. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. Now you're looking like a drummer. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's see how this goes. The lowest-toed of the band. Also, the drummer's got the best arms in the band. Oh, great. There we go. This is awesome. Kevin is showing us a scale shot now. We have a shot of his scale. It is little leg with his side. Here we go.

What a mystery. What a mystery. The onion is endless. Oh, it really lights up well. Okay, we see the scale works. It's set to zero. It's a 180. Let's get that body on it. He knows already. Oh, my God. Are you shirtless? Are you shirtless? Oh, my God. Hold on. Move your feet. Kevin, move your feet. Kevin, move your feet. Kevin, move your feet and stand in front of it. Kevin, get back on the scale. This is so... You can see his little body. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was the funniest. Nearly naked shark body. I love 179 six. That's a winner. It's a winner. But also we win, too, because that was he forgot the scale was reflective and we were able to see him shirtless and embarrassed. So I guess you guys got what you wanted to see.

I think we all won this bet. Everyone won. A great bet is when everybody wins. So what do we owe you now, Kevin, now that you're hot? What again do we owe you? We know it's not cheap. I have a pitch. I have a pitch. Okay. Getting into cigars after the wedding, a horrible thing to get into in your 30s. I don't have a little humidor box for my cigars. They're just kind of in a bag right now. You want a humidor?

A little humidor box. Maybe it says a shark on it somewhere. That's interesting. We can make that happen. This is how wives say they want gifts, isn't it? Just like the exact thing and be like, and go get it. So from this place and this is the link. And then she goes, what do you want? And I go, I don't know. I don't know. That same thing you got. Yeah. Well, it makes it hard for me to give you gifts if you don't know. And I go, I know, but we lost the shark.

It's okay. I had to put my pants on. It's just a lot has happened. This has been quite an intro. Well, what a ride. Let's get into it. Yeah, let's get into it. But again, if you want to see Shark Shirtless embarrassed, I'd go to our YouTube. That would be my recommendation to you. Check it out. It's good stuff. And thanks for everyone for listening and without. Wait, we don't have a guest on this episode, right? This is Monday. I do. Hi. What's happening? How you doing?

i'm good how are you guys great can we get your name where you're calling from and the garf man's new question what color is your hair okay my name is amy

My hair is brown and grayish. More like a silver. I don't have gray hair. Like Gareth in my beard when he doesn't dye it that orange color from Just For Men. If you really think that I chose this color for my beard, you are out of your mind. They don't make this color for me. Amy Silver Fox, where are you calling from?

I'm calling from Kelowna, British Columbia. Whoa. The BC's great. And what can we do for you today? Okay. So my issue is I work at a casino. Fuck you. I train people how to deal games. Fuck yes. Jake can relate. I did this similarly down at the Hollywood Park Casino in Englewood when I first moved to Los Angeles. Continue. Not about me. Nice.

So right now I'm opening a new poker room and I'm training people. I'm training all sorts of different classes, how to deal poker. Okay. My problem is, is how do I get these people to take this seriously? Because it's for fake money. I'm playing awful poker. Every,

Every day of my work life for weeks on end because people just go on every hand, right? Yes, I know exactly what you mean. There's no real money on the line. You know what I mean? I do know. I don't understand exactly. Okay, so she's playing poker and she's teaching them to deal. So you have to have a bunch of people playing. Sure. There's no stakes. Right. So all of a sudden somebody has a jack five and they're like all in because who gives a shit?

So how do we create actual poker? It's so frustrating. Because then you actually can't learn to be a dealer because you're like, everybody's all in again. And that's not how it is. It's the flop, the turn, the river. There's an intensity that they need practice. So I did a movie called Win It All with Joe Swanberg. Thank you. And we had a whole sequence where we built a fake casino and we had a whole group of extras playing Hold'em.

And we had that problem at the beginning. People were playing it like it was blackjack. And so then what we started, we just started realizing we're like, fuck it. Let's everybody play. So we started talking about the chips. Like it was a tournament.

And if you do a tournament style, whoever has the most chips at the end of the day gets something. That's a good way to do it. What do I get them? We're not allowed to use real money. No, no, no. But you could do something from the casino. You could do something fun. Even they could have the MVP of the day. They could get like a fake crown where you take a photo of them each day. You could have MVP of the day, best player. How many days are you going to be doing this?

So I've been doing this for like the past few months. I do it like five days a week. Okay, so a lot of... And our poker room is opening in a month, but I'm pretty much training straight until that opens. I think a prize or something like that is the right way to do it. Is there a world, in order to make it fun, if you did... Each week, you do a tournament until the thing, and whoever finishes with the most chips gets their photo on the wall.

Oh, that's a good idea. Best dealing player. So, and it could be in the casino. So you get like the casino to do a little plaque. Yep. So that at first people, when they hear about it and they go part of being a great dealer here and you go, and guys, you should know this will help your tips because when I play at a table and the dealer knows the game,

It just changes the vibe. You're more likely if you win a big hand to go like, let me cut you into this boss because we're in it together as opposed to your brain dead just flipping cards. I don't want to play with a robot. And so you could say you went on a podcast called Moe and Piggly or

Or you heard one and what they taught you in it was it's a science podcast. You could say this to the group. We don't have to make a video for these people. Let me pitch it when you're ready. I'm ready. The winner also gets a Moe and Piggly winning video. I mean, that would be amazing. How did someone... I didn't know a human could roll one eye. Did I? Yes. You just rolled one eye somehow. Like, you didn't even have the energy to fully roll your eyes. Here's my problem with it.

We make it and then you got some dealer up in the BC and you go like hey congrats on your win They're like yeah, I love to play. It's been it was fun. It was fun We can you go would you like to watch a video from Piggly and Moe and they go? What's Piggly and Moe and you go from a podcast called weird up? They go what's weird to help and they go one of the guy was on a podcast called the doll big Oh, what's the doubt? The other ones on show called new girl. They go. What's the new girl? Then you go just don't show the video. All right, you're right

And then they watch it and they go, what is this? And you go, it's funny. And then we go, can you film you watching it? And then we got a follow up where we go, what'd they think? And they go, they thought it was weird. Brutally humbling. Our new studio is called the Shark Tank. You heard what she said. Also, if you're on YouTube, like and subscribe.

It's not a bad idea. Okay, but I think beefing up the prize a little bit is good. Part of it you could say to the group. You could say, if you're considered a good poker player, your tips will increase. So as a way to do that, we came up with an idea here, and that is...

You guys are going to be just playing a lot of hands, but we want you to take it seriously. So we are going to do real values. We're going to do it like a tournament. Everybody starts with $1,000. If you bust out...

We will all know you have to ask for more chips. So if you go all in and you're out. The tournament's right. Then it's embarrassing. And then when somebody goes like. I do do tournaments. Okay. But it's just that when, yeah, when they bust out, I still need them to play. Right. Because then you buy them in and you keep track of it. But how about this? Can you fire anybody? Wow.

I mean, technically, not really. OK, understood. By the way, I cannot pass. Amy, just so you know, the lead up to that made it sound like you could fire anyone with great authority. And then the ending, I felt like your confidence dipped with the last couple of words. But it's a no. OK, but also we don't have to go that route. But here's what I'm saying. You can do a fake fire. No, but here's what we're trying to make. We're trying to get the stakes right. We're trying to get people to take it seriously.

I do think if the winner of each week, there's always going to be some asshole who doesn't care and goes all in on bad hands and then wins a hand, thinks they're cool, and then loses all their chips. But let a few people on each table care and get competitive because if they have a plaque in the casino, in the poker room,

of the best new dealer from week one, best new dealer from week two. Then when they're at the table, the players will go like, let's say it says Shark won. Well, I'm playing. I look over and I go to the dealer. Hey, Shark, you won. And they go, yeah, we do a dealer's tournament as we're doing it, and I won. I have a different respect for Shark. That will change your life as a dealer. If under...

Like, let's say you have a name tag. If under there you get a little something that says something like that, does that help? Yes. Okay. Ooh. That could be fun, too. And also you could do, if somebody busts out a lot, if they bust out more than three times in a week, it has to say their name tag and underneath, terrible player. Buster. So that people go like, you're a terrible player, and they go, I'm not good. Yeah.

Yeah, no, that's a good idea. And I keep it up on the wall so that people can. Oh, I have an idea, Amy. OK, how many how many people are there? Like how many class? Yeah. How many dealers you got? Total. Oh, boy. I would say there's at least 15 poker dealers. Perfect. That's the exact number I was hoping on their name tag. Gareth Reynolds, three of 15. Oh, dealer poker rankings. Yeah.

We do have name tags where you can write whatever you want underneath. So they get a ranking at the end of training. Whoever has the most chips is number one. So every day, every, you know, this being in a casino at a table of eight, there's always two jokesters. There's always somebody who talks a lot. At least. Yeah. What? Yeah. I was waiting for you to talk. Well,

But you'll have a name tag so we can put the rankings on the name tag. I think that works. I do, too. Garf? I do. I think that works. I like that more than the picture. I do, too. No, that's good, yeah. And I think what you would do is maybe you just say for the first couple weeks you have the ranking, but then the person who comes out on top, they get that for...

I mean, they just get to keep that. I think something like that. My other question would be, so if people bust out. Then they just get more chips because they got to keep trading. Right. But you can go negative and your rankings matter. You don't want to be 15 of 15. Yes. And you don't want to be. You buy it too many times, you lose. Maybe there's a penance for 15 of 15.

Maybe you also don't want to finish. You want to finish first, but you definitely don't want to finish last. I think that's right. So we tier something at the bottom. Because then if you go negative, you could buy in again, but it's just like a cash game. Yeah. So you're down $15,000. Well, it's just like you're trying to stay in the money in a regular tournament. Exactly. So you don't want to finish last.

So I'm wondering if there's a way to like the last person there's just even because that way, if you bust out in the first one, then you still don't want. You know what this makes me think of in the NFL, the last person drafted Mr. Irrelevant is called Mr. Irrelevant. So we could have a title for 15 of 15 where it's biggest dunk. Or the name tag says Buster. Yeah.

Or yeah, donkey. The name tag just says donkey. How about a sash? The name tag says donkey. That's good. Because if you're at a poker table and it goes, Jake Johnson, 15 to 15, donkey, everybody's going to nickname me donkey. The players who don't know me will call me donkey. And how about, you might frown on this at your work, but how about if

For the first day, when they're out there doing it after this, they have a sash that says donkey. I think that's fine. Ooh. A donkey sash. We could get them something made that they have to wear on the first day of the open. So I think the sash might push a little bit, although I would love it if you did it. But I think if you do, if you explain to everybody you are doing something

A tournament style while you're playing. You want the game to be taken seriously. There will be rankings, which will be on the name tag for the first full week. If you bust out, of course you can buy back in, but we will keep track of your negative numbers at the end of the week, right before the casino goes. At the end of each day, we talk about your numbers. We write it in a spreadsheet. So you start with the same amount of chips, just like a multi-day tournament. Mm-hmm.

We will then start the week when the casino first opens on that first Friday when it's busy. We will give a shout out to the top three to the tables. You guys will stand up and wave. Therefore, what happens in those moments, people at the table might throw them some extra tips. Yep. Good. You go like, hey, to the winners. Everybody goes like, hey. And then if you're at a hot table, you go like, my man, here's a couple of bucks. And then you have to also then go, the donkey gets nothing but a name tag that says 15 out of 15 donkey.

And maybe a donkey. Okay. And maybe a donkey. Yeah. So you don't want to lose. No, it would be amazing. You want to win and you don't want to lose. And you want to be in the top three or the top five because they are going to get a special. I think you're right, too, about the tips going their way more when you get that. It's exciting. And then if you're a little bit of a celebrity factor. Yes. But if your donkey or 14 out of 15.

You're just going to hear a lot from guys like me at the table. If I'm at a table and we're all having fun and the dealer's having fun and then I see 14 to 15, I am going to go, what's that? And they go, of the 15 dealers here, I'm the 14th. They have to tell you about it. And then you go like, so you're a terrible player, man. And they go, yeah. And you go, that's cool. I got to keep my eyes on you because you're that bad and you're dealing. So then everybody's going to be up their butt and going like, hey, sir, flip the card. And they're going to go, I know how to deal. And I go, I know, but you don't know how to play. It's called the river.

So that'll be incentive for the people. And then some people who don't care are going to take the loss, but you're going to then start a thing when you start training new dealers. Yeah. It'll go like winning matters. I think that's good. Well, I want them to know that that's all. It's like, it gets to a point where it's just too much because it's side plots every hand and it's stupid. So now I think we gave you a really solid pitch.

But it's not about what I think. It's not about what Garth thinks. It's not about what Shark thinks. It's about what Amy, the silver fox from Canada, thinks. Amy, when it comes to our ideas, are you in or do you fold? I'm all in. Do it John Malkovich with a Russian accent. Amy, when it comes to our ideas, are you all in?

Or will you be folding this hand? Pretty good. Pretty good. You found it at the end. I did at the end. But you found it. You found it. So, Amy, what are you going to do? Okay. I like it. I think I'm going to definitely keep track of the amount of chips everyone's winning. So there is something to win for at the end. Right? And either do a picture on the wall or if I can get the name tag, that would be great. But I don't know if we're allowed to. You know, casinos have very strict rules.

I know. I know that. But then what you can also do is the top three. You could also do the donkey gets a pick. I also think do the shout out to the top three. Yeah, I think that I think any way to kind of so celebritize the top three is going to help them. And that is incentive.

Yeah, no, I agree. And maybe I'll buy like a stuffed donkey or something. I love it. That's great. I love it. And then will you keep us updated with if you do it, what do you do, how do you do it, and if it works? I will. I'll send you a picture. I love it. I'm curious about this one. Great. Okay. Thanks, guys.

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Hi there. I'll start. Jake's eating a lot. And Kevin said, let's see how this goes. So I got a good feeling about this call. Can we get your name, your age, where you're calling from, and your hair color? Oh, absolutely. I love these questions. My name is Talia. I am from the metro Atlanta area. And I am 32 years old. And currently my color is like a caramel color.

You're not a natural caramel. I am not. I am not. And your name again is we say to Leah to Leah. Talia. Yeah. Sure. And what is the natural? You're a dark brown. You're a light blonde. No, it's actually black. I'm Mexican heritage. So it's all black. Well, you've turned it to a car. You.

You know, I was called a strawberry blonde growing up. But anyway, it's not about me. So, Talia, what can we help you with? It's always about you, Garrison. Stop it. Stop. Stop listening to anyone listening. Don't parrot the Jake stuff, okay? Find your own energy to all of this. Thank you, Talia. You don't need to parrot Jake's talking points. Yeah, this is just my energy. It's just all married. Well, go back to black. Go ahead, Talia. Karma was perfect. Sounds great. So...

Uh, two years ago, my sister and I started a book club and mind you, my sister was someone who did not enjoy reading and over through this book club, she's found her love for reading. And we had a third individual join this book club, which was great. And so quick Paul, hold on, Talia, hold on to time. Do it, do it.

The first book club was just you and your sister? Is it a club? Or is it just you and your sister reading a book? What's a club? I think club three or more. I would dare I say yes. Three is a minimum. Three is generous. Yes. But Talia, back to you. Yeah.

Yeah. So three was the minimum. So that's where we started. And then over time, it began to grow, which is a great problem to have. And I am a teacher. So who am I to say, don't join the book club, right? I'd be the worst teacher in America. And so this friend, this third individual began to invite her friends, which again is great. Who am I to say no?

Well, hold on. You're the leader of the goddamn club. I'm not sure you know what a book club is or a club in general. You are allowed to nix it. No, it's true. But you keep saying, who am I?

You're the commissioner. The founder. You're the founder. Who am I to fire the fry cook? You're Ronald McDonald. 100%. All right, so back to you. You're right. So with the addition of new members, we went from three to 11, the chemistry of the book club changed. And so now I'm at the point two years later where I'm just straight up not having a good time. I don't even look forward to it. I feel like I'm just like huffing and puffing the entire time.

Again, not having a good time. And now I guess my question is, and my problem is, is how do I go this book club that I started, but no longer want to be a part of? I respect this. Can you walk us through some of the, a little bit more specifically how you feel like the book club has lost you? Can I try to answer for you?

Yes, please the third person came in her vibe wasn't great But who's Talia to say so she just let her in then she invited another friend then those two was like two to two then they brought more of their friends and they're just not people that she likes to be around they're not bad people or anything who's she to judge them but they're not the kind of people she wants to be around then the club got more and more people and now it's just a group of 11 people besides your sister she doesn't really want to talk books with these people are the offers as accurate and

100% all of that. And they're just, and all he wanted to do was interrupt it as if I was wrong. It's all about Gareth. Go ahead. Carmel's perfect. Jesus Christ. Can I talk? Uh, I, I, okay. Do you feel like you're not like as far as the books you're picking? Are you, are you losing a connection to those? Are you not able to talk as much?

Are there a couple people you really don't like or it's just in general? It's what Jake said. You just had to talk though, huh? So, no, I love the books that we're picking. I enjoy the books that we're picking. I feel like my voice is being heard. Everything's great. It's just there's a couple of people that I don't

And like Jake mentioned, they're not bad people. I think they're good people. I just don't enjoy hanging out with them. Like everything is great. And when we sit down to talk about the books, instead of it being a discussion, we've got a couple of people that say, oh, I didn't like it for these reasons. And then that's it. That's the end of book club. And so no matter how much I try to spark up the conversation, it always ends with,

No, I didn't like the book and for whatever reason, and I'm not that. And so it's just like, okay, so then we're just wasting our time. Can I walk a mile with you to maybe go a block? Good. Please, please. Let's say you started a sorority and it was just you and your sister. I have not. No, I know you haven't.

You would have let out with that. Oh, sorry. Let's say. If you had, and you hadn't told us at this point of the call, and that was a coincidence, best moment of our show. Have you started a sorority? I have. In the Atlanta region. What? Everything. Jake's just on fire today. Jake's psychic. Holy shit. But let's say you and your sister decided to start a two-woman sorority.

And then the sorority started to grow with members. He goes, every year, new kids try to pledge. You've seen that TikTok craze down south in Alabama. Everybody goes out there. They want to get picked. But who are we to say they can't come to this sorority? I'll tell you, you're the gammas. And the gammas say no. And the alphas say yes. Right. And the betas say another thing because you get to pick. So what happened is you allowed your book club to be overrun by betas.

But girl, you guys are gammas. So it's not a bad thing to ghost you and your sister hand pick your favorites. And if there's none, throw that fish back in the goddamn lake. And you two guys start a whole new book club, just you. And you know who you are to tell people they can't come? The leader.

CEO. CEO. Motherfucking. Oh, you're the boss. And if somebody wants to come, they are handpicked by you. They have the vibe you like. They have everything you like. And if somebody doesn't have it, let me recommend you to another book club. Yeah, you got your right. You got your B team. Yeah, I like that. What do you think of that?

I like that. I think, you know, vetting some of these members before they come in, like an application process. I feel like, hey, you know, like, let's see what's up, like a dry run of the book club. And then if not, I'd be like, sorry, girlfriend. But also there's nothing it doesn't make you it's not bad to say you can't join this club. You make it exclusive. And the way they get in is you do a full on interview. OK, is this something you would do?

Yeah, I think that I think that's a great suggestion. Here's my concern. My concern is that you've built this thing now. You're kind of outnumbered. It's going to be hard to call the herd a little bit. So, yeah, cut it loose. I think she she thinks hanging out with her sister can be called a club. Don't forget that. I agree. But we also might comedically be missing the opportunity for her to have a great retirement.

Like for her to leave in blaze. Yeah. Like if you're going to, if you're going to get fired, let's make it fun.

Before he pitches this, is there any world where you could see yourself quitting the group in a ridiculous way? And as you go out, think Denzel Washington and Training Day type vibes. You are King Kong, right? You let that ending rip, and then you're handpicking a couple, and you're going like, Denise, Judy, I'll send you two a text. The rest of y'all, deuces. When you're hearing this, have some fun. Caramel tea, where are we at?

I like that. I think I like out of the group, I'm the more outrageous one. And I think it would not come as a surprise to anybody if I were to pull a Denzel. Okay. By the way, we have a new term. You know, title question for you about pulling a Denzel before we start building this with you.

Is there anybody out of that 11 besides your sister that you want to start this new club with? There's two specifically, yes. Great. So you would take the two. Could we get their names? Yeah, we've got Carmen and Janice. Carmen and Janice? Yeah. Janice? Yes. T-H at the end? Yes. Janice. Yes. In a book club. So it's like if Steve Berg had a Janice. Yes.

I don't know, simply Janice, you idiot. Finally, somebody has said it right. To be clear, her name is J-A-N-I-T-H. E-T-H. Okay. Yeah. So it's like Gareth. If Gareth begged Janice. If you met her in phone love, this is the greatest end to a call. I'm Gareth. I'm Janice. We worked backwards from Janice. Okay, so we got the two we like, and you're open to starting a new book club, yes? Yes.

100%, yeah. What would you call the new club, starting with you, sis, Janice, and the other lady whose name I can't remember? Yeah, Janice really took the headlines. Yeah, she did. Carmen, Carmen. Oh, Carmen.

I don't think I have a name. I think it was always just like, you know, ladies book club. But that feels so lame, especially if we're going to pull a, if I'm going to pull a Denzel. Like, I feel like I have to come up with a badass name here. And quick question before we start building this night. Is there a vibe of books that you want the LBC to cover that is not being covered in the group 11? Is your like, are you like, for fuck's sake, this is just Oprah's book club. I want to do books like this.

Yeah, like more historical fiction or like some psychological thrillers. So you want to get a little bit wild. And how does Janice feel about getting wild? Yeah. Name's not normal. Yeah, with Janice, I feel like she's willing to get a little crazy, get a little wild, just a little nervous. Because we both know Carmen is. She'll read anything. She wild. Carmen's wild. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so we all have a Carmen in our book club. Title. It's just happening. It's Ferris in your book club. Yeah, exactly right. Can I pitch a name? Yes. Janeth?

Nopra's Book Club because you don't say yes to everyone. Shark from the Dark. Shark from the Dark for three. By the way, Nopra's Book Club because you don't say yes to everyone is awesome. There we go. What do you think of that? I like that. I got the beginning of your Denzel. Okay, okay. I'm ready. Middle of the Book Club. What's one of those women's names who we hate in the Book Club? Callie. Callie?

There is a Kelly. Of course. Just pretend she's yapping on about a book. She's getting lost in the second act, and who gives a rat's ass? In the middle of it, you just go like this. Announcement! While she's talking. Announcement! Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Bored. Killing the vibe. Starting a new book club next Friday. It's called Nopra.

Not Oprah. No, bro. Why? Because not everyone's invited. And then you go to your sister, sis, I know you're in. She'll go, hell yeah, I'm out of this dump. Then you go, Carmen, Janet, you want to dance? And you go, don't answer now. I'll text you later. Then you and your sister stand up and go, continue on your boring ass chatter.

I mean, so big thoughts. It's your Jerry McGuire ring out of the room. Yes. So to you, though, thoughts. Is that a zone you might do? Is this too far? Is this good? Where are we at?

No, I like that. And I wanted to see how you felt about this because I have a Bluetooth karaoke mic. So would it be acceptable or too crazy for me to have my mic? No. No, it would be great. It's great. You got it near you? Not with me, no. Okay. Do you have an idea...

of just after my soft pitch, what we've been kind of saying, do you have a vibe of what you might try to do? Yeah, I think so. Because I've been sitting here on these unread text messages where they're trying to coordinate this past book club, the one I'm trying to ghost. And so I've been sitting on these text messages where I just don't know even what to respond. But now there is...

there is more of an idea like i have a direction that i can go towards while also calling and pulling a dental and pull a training day with my mic and saying no absolutely not boring we gotta go let's hit up mcdonald's for some french fries and then we'll talk about details oh i like the addition of fries for no reason we all do

Why not? I agree. I like it. Same. I like it. I like adding in McDonald's fries for some reason. You can't go wrong. I do have an alt. Okay. This is not the Denzel. Okay. Because we are getting close to getting out of here. I know. Okay. I just want to say it just so we have it. Okay. This is like everyone's getting their keys and Garrett goes, shots. Yep. The party's ending. By the way, totally my move. I know. I'm glad we all have keys. Yeah.

What if we spent two book clubs making them be like, that was the weirdest thing that's ever happened, and you kind of exit a little bit more like a ghastly. Like you ruined the vibe like you're having, but then it's going to be hard to get Janice.

It's going to. Well, I think we could tell them, hey, I just wanted out and I wanted to leave comedically. Walk us through how we would do that. OK, so you reply to these texts and you go, hey, guys, I know I've been silent recently. The truth is, it's been hard for me to read. I've been having some trouble reading because of my eyes. But I finally found a doctor who thinks he can help me.

Then you go to the Goodwill and you go buy a really weird pair of prescription glasses. I thought you were going to say, then a doctor comes in. Your doctor comes in. Hey, everybody, I'm the doctor. Yeah, we're like, this sucks. So you come in with real weird prop glasses that make your eyes huge. And during the book club, you're getting very frustrated. And you're trying to read and you're having issues with it. And at some point, you throw down the book.

And then in the next text exchange, you send a link to a cookbook and you say this would be the next book you'd like to try to read. And then you ghost the group. There's also look, I've been very immature in the lab because we recorded some yesterday. We're doing this. Does she get a fart machine? Yes. So I'm answering like it's not only serious, but the right answer. You're like this.

Oh, yes. For sure. Yes. It'll be two fart machines, one for her sister. But there is a world where you get fake glasses. You do the eye thing. All right. By the way, I know I answered serious. The addition of a fart machine to the weird glass thing. We're just talking about how do you have the weirdest retirement ever? Yeah, but I'll tell you this. If I'm in a book club and I'm just lady number eight,

And I'm there. I'm a friend of a friend trying to make some friends in Atlanta. I just moved here. I don't have a lot of friends. I'm 31 years old. I'm trying to dye my hair, but it's not quite working yet. And I haven't found my groove. I think maybe this could be a group of gals. I don't know. And then one lady all of a sudden does this weird thing where she says like her eyes hurt or something. And I'm like, who cares? You're not even one of my closest friends, but your glasses suck. And then all of a sudden throughout the whole meeting, if it's just a lot of like...

I can't read this. But if she doesn't comment on it, and then nobody does, then if someone laughs, you go like, oh, you really think IBS is funny? And they go like, whoa, I didn't know you had IBS. And then you go, I don't. I was just wondering if you think IBS is funny. And they're like, no, I don't think a disease is funny. And you go, exactly. And then they go, but you don't have it. And then you go...

And then you go, I have to go to the bathroom. And then you're gone for 10 minutes. Or you have to go to the bathroom, but you don't get up. Or you have to go to the bathroom and you never come back. Okay. Oh, just grab my bag and just go to the bathroom and disappear. I got to go to the bathroom. This, by the way, I teased you, but you were right to pitch shots because now we're drunk. Yeah. And it tastes so good. It's fun. Once it touches your lips.

There's another move that's not the Denzel move, which I like about this. And this is, you just go, you bring a fart machine, you start acting like you're having some sort of a diarrhea attack, and you go like, by the way, our show, we are now the diarrhea and fart show. Year two. Yeah. Oh, happy one year, guys. We're getting off of this soon, but we got to finish this because we started. We finished this one. We're starting year two with some new stuff. Everybody, before you comment, a lot of diarrhea jokes. We get it. We know. This...

Look, we are men in our mid-40s getting near 50. Some of us are. How old are you? Honestly, I'm not even sure. But what does your driver's license say? Because we're the same age. Check with driver. Okay, so, but I think this could be good. I got to go to the bathroom, you run out, and you never come back? That's it. I would also suggest we text Janeth and the other one, whose name begins with a C, prior to this. Yeah.

And we say, hey, look. I think you're kind of in this approach

You're gonna lose Carmen and Janice, but you find new members. She thinks a club is just her and we can olive branch after but yeah, you will rebuild we're just talking about a legendary exit status, so Carmel T where yet you want Denzel or you want a explosive diarrhea I got go to the bathroom and you never come back and then your sister goes I should check on her and then she never comes back That's great thoughts

I think I like the idea more of the Denzel. I'm a middle school teacher, and so I feel like I can bring out my middle school teacher persona with the mic, which is already pink and ridiculous looking. I do want the mic. All right. But let's do this then. We go to the club right now.

Gareth is some lady. I'm some lady. Shark is allowed to talk if he wants to. And then at a certain point, we want to hear your Denzel. Yeah. Are you ready? Okay. Okay. I think I'm ready. Okay. We go to the Atlanta area. Interior book club.

So I really, I don't know if I loved this book so much. I felt it was a little like, I don't know. What did you think? Well, first of all, thank you for such a specific breakdown. I was talking to Shark. I was getting lost. They introduce a new character like every other page. And I'm kind of like, there's like four. I'm like, I just didn't like it. I didn't like how short the chapters were. I like when a chapter goes on for a little while and you can kind of get invested in the chapter. Absolutely.

Pause. Pause. Pause. Absolutely not. You know what I didn't like? You or your shirt. Goodbye. Goodbye. Dennis, Carmen, Jessica, let's go. Goodbye. Let's go get some fries. Don't text me anymore. Goodbye. I mean, wild. Wild. Cool. Cool. I mean, wild though. First, before we go, how did that feel to you?

That felt very natural. Honestly, I'm not a very confrontational person, but I think I've been seething in this feeling for so long that it's just it's it's ready to come out. And I like it. It felt very natural. Can we can we pitch on that pitch? Yeah. OK, because it's good. The energy is good. I think we just need to give you a little bit. I agree. Punchier. How about if we relate the book club to a book that you don't enjoy?

And you're like, let me tell you about a book I got involved in recently that started with a couple of characters that I was really invested in. And then it kind of grew. And then it kind of became the sort of book that I dreaded reading. Every week I'd have to read a chapter and I started to hate it more and more. And now I just can't even finish it. And I'm done with it. And that book is called This Book Club. Janice, whatever your name is. And then Fart Machine. And then get out. No Fart Machine. Okay, fine. But I just think we can tell. I think Gareth is on to something.

because that felt weird and personal where you said like, I don't like your shirt. And then you said, you can set up, you seem to say okay a lot. And I would be thinking. And the fries ending, I think we got to work on for sure. It's pretty good.

Especially if it's- We need to build to the fries. I would almost cut the fries. If you just go, okay, okay, I'm out. Let's get some fries. I'm thinking, what's going on with that lady? Yeah, that's not Denzel. It's somebody. By the way, it's cool. It is. I don't know if I'd call it cool. Okay, stop, stop. I don't like your shirt. Let's get some fries. Pause, pause, fries. So let's do one more. Kevin's giving us the two, but I don't want to stop on you yet. We're close.

So think about connecting it to the book club, not personal to anybody, but this book club ain't it. And you're going and if fries want to be mentioned, that's a dealer's choice. And do we want her? Do we want her? Give her a good ending line like this book is closed. Something like that. Do you like something like that?

I think so. I think I can do. Yes, yes, we can do that. Okay. And then do you want to say, but a new, do you want to go back to the bring up Nopra? But I'm starting a new book club called Nopra and it's called Nopra because not everybody's invited.

We're just throwing things at you. Only use what you like. Yep. Options. Okay. There's also the McDonald's fries on the way home, which was another angle you seem to go down. Yep. Let's remember we're putting that on ice. All right. Are you ready, Talia? Yes, I'm ready. Okay. Yes, I'm ready. And so what did you think of chapter four of this book? It dragged. I was talking to Shark. You know, I got to say, I really, what I love about this book club is how open we are to everyone's opinions. The book is called I Was Talking to Shark.

That's really sort of a weird thing to say. Why are you making it personal? I'm not. I'm just saying. I also thought that this chapter dragged a little bit. And it was just weird for you to say the title in that context. It was literally two pages.

It was weird for you to say that in that context. Agree with me. Well, so I wanted to, could I add something here? Sure, Talia, please. Yeah, go. But, you know, I saw a lot of similarities with this other book that I had read, you know, over the, like, the last year or so. And one of the things that, yeah,

that I noticed with this book is that, you know, it was starting out great. I was very excited. It had a really good direction, a good plot there at the beginning. But then as the book progressed, I just found myself, you know,

finding it more and more difficult to finish the book. And I was dreading it every time I went back to read it. And, you know, it got to the point where I just couldn't finish the book. And, you know, I felt bad about, about closing the book, putting it away before I finished it. But honestly, you know, I'm, I, I did that. I think it's, it was okay to close that chapter. And, you know, I'm kind of ready to move on.

Okay, that's a weird story without what we know what the book's called. Yep. Don't forget to connect whatever the book is to whatever you're trying to do here. I forgot about. Yeah, I forgot. I would go faster and then you but everything you were saying was right. A third of the time and then and get to the what you're saying. Last time. Here we go.

What did you think? I didn't love this ending. It felt like it was really jarring. What did you think? I don't know. You've kind of been difficult with this whole book. I was talking to Shark. That's the title of the book. No, I'm literally talking to Shark. That's really crazy. Kevin, go ahead. What did you think? Yeah, changing from first to second to third person was very disorienting. It was weird. I get it was experimental, but I was getting lost. I also felt like the main character just like...

but like badgered his way into like situations when it didn't feel like it required. Like it felt like the main character was just writing his own dialogue all the time. And when any other character talks. Kind of feels like some characters are louder than other characters in this book club. Yeah, well, I don't know. I mean, to me, it just felt like the kind of book where I was like, I don't know about this author.

And I want to tell you about a book that I've been reading. It's super boring. No, you're not allowed to do this. And my partner, yap, yap, yap all the time. And I want to start a new book club because this book club is over. And my new book club is called No Probit. What is your problem? Because not everybody is included. What are you doing?

Talia, you want to come with me? Candice? Yeah. I mean, Janice is in, Carmen's in, and your sister's in. Also, do you like McDonald's? What the hell just happened? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go. Want to get some fries? Because everybody loves fries. Gareth? Bye. Yeah, let's do it. Shark?

Bye, Gareth. Bye, Gareth. Chomp, chomp, shark. I don't know. I'm not sure. I think in that zone, if you try it, I think you could win. I would love if you did it. Maybe get your sister to film it. Please. Pretend she's texting. And once you start. Please.

Maybe as a thought, if you're getting off track, your sister can say, hey, what's that book called? Yes, that's great. Call and response always helps. And I would do a few run-throughs in the mirror before the big event. Let's do it really fast. One last run-through where you take the lead. Interrupt us fast. We got nothing in our setup. I really didn't care for this book. I mean, I liked it, but I also thought this book was just kind of obnoxious at certain points. What did you think?

Yeah, I didn't like this book either. And honestly, I am just ready to start this new book. And very similar to this book club, I'm ready to close this chapter and start this new book and book club called No Breath. Gareth, Jake, Shark,

You guys ready? Yeah. I also want to pick up some fries. Let's do this. All right. Boom. Don't forget to rehearse it in the mirror once or twice. That's good. I will. But I think, are you going to actually do this?

Yeah, absolutely. I have my mic ready to go. Can you please ask your sister to hide her phone as if she's texting? Yes. And film a low angle just so we have a video of just you. None of the other women. Make sure we can hear the audio. Yes, please. Okay. All right, Talia. And good luck. Good luck. Thank you. Thank you so much, guys. This has been weighing on me. All right, good. You got it. You got it. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. Good luck.

Thanks, guys. Bye. I think we could even use this part because here's what I loved about this call just now.

is that we weren't done, but she needs a little more work for sure. But we're also like, we got to move on. But I think she will get there. I just think there were... This chicken needs to marinate for about six more hours. The last one, I was like, you're not closer. You haven't gotten closer. But she's very confident, which I like. I think it'll work.

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Hi there. Hi, welcome to the show. Can we get your name, where you're calling from, age, and issue? My name is Carrie. I'm calling from Atlanta, Georgia. And the issue I'm calling in about is that my mother-in-law makes a very obnoxious sound when she yawns. And...

It happens usually when conversation lags. Oh, so it's pointed. It's aggressive. Once she starts, she won't stop. So I was calling to ask if maybe there was a polite way to confront her or maybe just a silly way to get her to stop doing that.

Yeah, this is interesting. Before we hear it, Garth, is that what you were about to do? Of course. What's mom-in-law like? What's her vibe? She's a southern gal. Where is she at? She's lived most of her later years here in Georgia. She's very sweet. She's a Christian lady. She's very sweet, but she's older. She's 37 years old?

She's older. She's me and Gareth Sage, not Kevin's. Okay. So, so she's kind of sweet. Do you guys get along well? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Or do you guys, do you, is she around your family a bunch? Are you guys like a big unit?

No, she's, she's shy. She's on the sire side. My husband and I got married about two years, two and a half years ago. Her family is in North Carolina. And that's what sparked me wanting to call in is because we just drove up there to let her visit with his side of the family. And that's about a six hour drive for us. And like I said, once she starts,

yawning, she won't stop. And you know, it's cute, maybe the third time, but after the 20th time, I'm ready to throw myself. But so she yawns when she's bored.

I guess. Or when someone's not talking to her. Oh, like if others are talking, she'll yawn to get attention. It kind of seems that way to me. My husband thinks that it's just a nervous pick that she's developed. Maybe she's uncomfortable with silence, but I'm not really sure what's going on.

All I know is that I find myself feeling frustrated by it. That's what I think we're trying to find out. Is she just, does she have a crazy yawn? Or is there something loaded behind the yawn? Yeah, exactly right. We're saying we're not sure, but either way...

it's maybe more loaded than... Husband's defending mom. Yep. And he's going like, she just has a little anxiety. She gets a little nervous. Who knows? Yeah. Carrie's seeing mom, mom-in-law as, I see your move, lady. Yeah. You're not getting the attention you want. And so all of a sudden it's,

It's like a dog. It's like a dog that if you don't pet it, all of a sudden they go like, you're like, shut up. Okay. We need to hear it. Yeah, we need. First of all, what's this woman's name? What are we calling her? Let's call her...

Robin. Hurry up. Sorry. Jesus, Jake. Carrie's been through enough. Hurry up. What's the name? Robin. We'll call her Robin. Robin. Okay, good. By the way, you sound like a sick donkey. Thank you. For sure. Original party donkey on Berg's arm. That's right. So, Carrie, I guess now's the time. Let's make the Garf Man happy. Can we hear the yawn?

Yeah. Okay. So y'all just pretend that you're in your thoughts because that's how car rides go. Sometimes the conversation just stops for a little bit. We know what silence is. We got it. If I do, you'll hear something along the lines of this. Ah! Ah!

Oh, that's brutal. That sounds like someone jumped off a building. Yeah, it does. I mean, tell me that's not like nails on a chalkboard. That's annoying. Right. And it's a lot. And you're telling me, Carrie, that's not exaggerated. That's to the best of your ability. Yeah. That's crazy. Okay. Very long. Okay. That's really pointed. That's really intense. That's really annoying. You think?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's that's a lot. That's not a nerve. That's egregious. That is egregious. I have a question, Carrie. When that happens, you ever laugh? I think it would make me so uncomfortable at a certain point. I would just start laughing at how ridiculous it is. Well, here's the deal. When we we have we've tried to go at her many ways with this. We do laugh at her. It's like that just feeds the fire. She thinks it's funny.

Oh, he thinks that we're laughing with her. So when you've, when you've tried to do a bunch of stuff, what have you done? Well, my husband's gotten a little messed with her. You know, don't start that. Don't, don't, don't start that. Ooh, he tries to see gets, he gets mad.

I mean, he's never going to get angry with her about it. You know, she can't control it. And he says, don't start that. He only takes so much, just like me. He'll give his mom... Can you imagine if I did that to Eve? If my mom made a weird yawn, I'd go, don't start that. My nose would be bent in the other direction. She would finish that. Yeah, I'd go like this. She'd go...

no i was saying do it i was saying do it i was saying don't stop i was saying don't stop doing it it's great thank you it's a nice sound it's like a bird singing i haven't even done it i didn't even do anything christ my fucking nose mom you fucking you punched it straight yeah it's normal try to punch it smaller uh okay so what else what else have you guys done because i have a pitch

Her whole family notices it. And if we give her any kind of attention, she'll lean into it more. We suggested her going to lay down. She's not into that idea. She just likes the attention. We've also just tried ignoring it just to see. Okay. Here's my pitch. You ever been around coyotes? No. No? I thought that was going to be a yes. So if you...

That threw me. You weren't prepared for this follow-up. I was sure we were going one direction. Now we're in another one, and I feel like I'm the mother-in-law yawning. Jake in a pitch meeting. You ever run around coyotes? No. No. Okay. All right. All right. Thank you guys for having me. Thanks a lot. This show's not going to work for you. Then it just goes, oh. So here's my pitch and the reason I say that about the coyotes.

Once one starts going, they all start going. So once you hear one, then you hear, and then you got a whole bunch together. So what I would recommend you doing when she yawns, y'all yawn. So one turns to three, whoever's in the car. So if she goes, can you do it again? Uh, Carrie, can you be Robin for a second and just start to yawn? And

And we're going to jump in and show you the pitch. So let's just pretend we're all talking. So Gareth, you're the husband. I'm Carrie. We're in the car driving. Oh, wait. It's actually, it's quiet, actually. She talks when there's no attention her way. It's pretty good. And you all do it. Then she'll go. Then nobody comments, though.

So you never say anything. It's pretty good. But she makes the sound. You all make the sound. I was skeptical. Hearing it, it's pretty good. It's just... Yeah, I love it. Right? And then, Garrett, you jump in on this one, too, with the yawns.

So let's try it again now. Let's pretend we're just talking and then have a different version of how Robin jumps in. And then Robin, play it the way you think. I mean, I'm sorry, Carrie, play it the way you think your mother-in-law would play it post the yawn.

Post John. Okay. Okay. So we're just going to play it out for a little bit. In the aftermath. Yeah. To see what could happen. So we're in the car driving. Hey, how much longer do you think until we get to the DQ? Three hours, but we'll probably stop for gas in a minute. I think the gas prices get cheaper up ahead a little bit. I hope so. I hope we can stop at gas. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Say it again. What's that? Everybody tired. No, I thought it was just, no, I just, I don't know. It's just drive. Yeah. So you said the gap, you want to stop before the DQ? I think if we leave, once we get past this major city, we'll probably be able to save like 30 cents a gallon. All right, let's just do it. I mean, we're just driving all the way there. That's the move for sure. What do you think, Carrie? I like it. Yeah.

I think it could truly work, especially if you get everybody in the family in on it. Yeah. Yeah. Once we get around. I really like it. I'm going to give honorable mention to my ideas, but I think this is the one. I think earplugs, you put earplugs in very distinctly and with great showmanship.

or you just turn music up real loud if you're in the car. And if you're not, you put music on. Yes. Yeah. Just turn the radio on. But I think this is a funny way. It is just a direct hit into her battleship. I'm glad you said battleship at the end because that's what it felt like. It felt like a battleship that only has two pieces and you're just hitting it. You know, like it's very soon your game's going to be over. Yeah.

And it's not mean you're, you're able to laugh at it. If she laughs, you guys can laugh after. Yes. It's, it's like, it's kind of a low stakes approach, but it is very effective. And if she says, what are you guys doing? You say yawns are contagious. Yeah. I mean, I really don't want to be mean to her. It's meant to be fun. It's meant to be fun.

Yeah. But then she'll realize how crazy it is the way her, uh, your yawn sounds. And I think you got to stick to it everywhere. So are you going to like, yeah, agreed. So are you actually going to do this? Yes. I will pitch it to my husband. You know, he's going to ask me to board. I can't do it alone. Oh, great. He needs to be on board. Will you follow up with us? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Maybe I can try to record it.

Great. Jesus Christ. You listen to this show. Yes, do that. And if your husband gives you any pushback on this, have him call us and we will do the hard sell. So now in order to get out of this call, we're going to do one more reenactment. We're going to end on the yawns. But you are back to Robin. We're all talking in the car. And let's just feel it one more time. Okay, here we go.

Gosh, traffic is brutal. I don't know. Where is everyone going? I don't know. What does the Google Maps say? It says there maybe is an accident. Thanks for the call, Carrie. Thank you so much, guys. Bye. See you. Bye.

Hey everyone, producer Kevin here. The original call from this next follow-up aired on May 2nd. It's called You Are the Danger, and it is the second call from that episode. So, if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy! Hello! How are you? Hello! I am good, how are you guys? Good. We know this is a follow-up, but that's all Gareth and I know.

Okay. Well, I called in a few months ago. You guys referred to me as Mr. H. Hot takes. I'm a teacher. Oh, shit. Hot takes. We've talked about you. Yeah.

Just like off the air, just because you were a great personality and what a great problem. So what's going on, Hot Takes? So let me start before I forget, just to say thank you, because you guys killed it. Yes. Yes. It was called. I wanted you guys to get me out of it. Right. Yes.

And you pushed hard back against that and said, no, there's a way to shift this on to the kids. And so I had a few months to kind of do this and I dove right in. So I had been doing these hot takes. It had been a chore. I had been trying to come up with stuff. And then I knew if I just went with the hot takes and really leaned into them and show the kids what I could do or what I what I thought they were.

Then I could shift. I could get them to give it to me. I really leaned in. I went strong. Sweatpants and pajama pants are both the same thing. I refused to wear them. Great one. Great. In the summer, summer is great. Beaches, ice cream, they both stink.

So I kept doing these. Kids are going crazy. They eventually start talking about them. I have other teachers coming up to say, hey, what's going on with the hot takes? I've got kids emailing me from their house to say their parents prepared hot dogs the wrong way, according to me.

And it just kept growing. Okay. So eventually another teacher, also the soccer coach came up to me and said, Hey, I can't shut these kids up about hot takes. I said, you, you come in and do one. I brought in a guest hot take. The kids recruited him. He came in. He gave a rant about how his friends made fun of him for eating dominoes, but he was going to stand by it and say, dominoes was underrated. Great. That's a hot take. I,

I read from the kids, parmesan them, if you will, how I would change hot takes for my students next year without telling them most of them would be my student next year and said that I was going to get the kids to do it. They got jealous. So they committed to it without knowing what they were committing to.

starting to tell me what they wanted to give their hot takes about. Wow. So we start school in a week. I've got a slideshow ready to go. I've got my first couple of hot takes ready to go just to set the pace for the year. Can you send us the slides?

I sent Kevin one unfinished slide, but I sent him the hot take intro, which is just how I'm going to introduce it to the kids. So basically, Mr. H. You're back. Not only are you back, you're better than ever. Because now it's like it's a teaching tool and the kids are into it.

Yeah, the kids are super into it. And I got to say, like, I am terrible at like not telling people things. So I ended up confessing to my boss, the principal, the assistant superintendent of the district that I had called into a podcast show with the name Hank. They listened to it. You guys were described as pedagogically sound.

Now, you tell him that if he wants to get a compliment. Oh, what's that word mean for the shark? It's like an education thing. It's about like, yeah, you know, listen. OK, I'm sorry I got so heated. It sounds like. So this is a win. Yeah, that's great. That's a big win.

And you feel good. I mean, we because what you've done now is something you wanted to retire has now become your calling card. That's exactly right. And something that I mean, when you think when I think back to school, I was so bored by school. Little things like this would keep me going. Hot takes would be a guy like you and a guy like the best. That's the I would be coming. Yes. To show your actual acumen in some way. 100%. So so you've really flipped it. So

So I guess what we're asking is probably quickly. We've got we've got your first slide of hot takes. Oh, wow. Can we are we? I mean, is it a spoiler if we know these kids aren't we start from in a week?

I will say, bizarrely, the kids aren't listening to how we're here to help, but the co-teacher in one of my classrooms, we had never talked about the podcast. She listened to it, and the day I came out, called me out when she walked in the building and said, good morning. That's hilarious. By the way...

This is great. What you have up here. How can I share my hot takes hot taken on the day of your hot take? Have two to three slides prepared that slate your case. Be prepared to defend your opinion and your honors. We all push back. You have no more than five minutes. So use your time. What Mr. H this is.

This is great. You have schooled up the hot takes. Like you have a hot take syllabus, basically. This is excellence, man. It is extra credit. They will get double extra credit if they completely change my mind on something.

Oh, so if they win, they get extra credit. This is phenomenal. I totally agree. You know what I would like? I'm very excited. Any other teacher hearing this? Yes. To use... Franchise. To franchise. To use Hot Takes to get your students hot taken. We want to fight club Hot Takes. But it's got to be called... Do you want your real name or Mr. H.?

Let's go with my... I love a good pseudonym. I love being Mr. H. If anybody is a teacher, because we get a lot of emails that people are teachers and they're with the students, and you want to do a hot take Tuesday with your students,

Please call it Mr. H's Hot Take Tuesday. Please follow up with us about it. But I think you've started something here that I know if I were a kid. The best. This would be my favorite day. I would think about it. I would do homework. Yes. Because I would try to have a really weird hot take. Yes. That really made the people in the classroom laugh. And I would really, if the teacher said to me, you've convinced me, I would be like,

see i am smart yeah i'm not as dumb as my test scores exactly and it would change it exactly i'd have confidence exact same that's exactly huge win you've done great work because it's really like even just looking at the pack that you put together like your deck it's awesome it's awesome so before we go yeah do it mr h what's your hot take on this podcast

My hot take on this podcast is that if you are listening to it just for a comedy podcast, you are doing it wrong. This is truly an advice podcast. And if you are thinking about calling it and you want to get in there, listen to you guys. Yes. And it is.

don't know about it. Don't, you know, and just open your mind. Don't go in with the solution you want and hoping you get the solution you want just in a funnier, zanier way, which has been my initial idea. But Colin, listen to you guys. You've

You guys know what you're talking about. Open mind, open heart. We're here to help Mondays and Thursdays. And let me ask one more thing just because we have a teacher who really knows his shit. Mr. H, our advice, what are you going to give us as far as our grade? That's right. You know what? Here's what you're getting. You're not just getting an A. You're getting a phone call home that says, Mrs. Reynolds...

This is Johnson. Wow. Your kids have figured it out. The call neither of our mothers ever got. Ever. Ever. Never. Mr. H, here's my hot take on you. We love you, man. Love you, buddy. This is the best. Great work. Great work. Thank you for teaching these kids. You're inspiring a generation of hot takers. This couldn't be a more feel-good ending, and we appreciate you. Please call back with a follow-up. Yes. Because it would be nice to hear from you. Absolutely.

Yes, absolutely. You guys, thank you. The impact on my classroom, huge. Couldn't have foresaw this without you. Thank you. Just as good as it gets. Thank you, Mr. H. Appreciate it, buddy. All right. Have a good one, guys. You too, buddy. Bye. Bye.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt, and the associate producer and editor is A.J. McKeon. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio, and our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh, and you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com.

All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.